Is it possible that by working on the things we resist and procrastinate over in our outer world, that we can affect our inner world? A bit like energetic surgery, in reverse. And from my experience, I would most definitely say that “yes” – “yes, it is.”
A moment of regret, frustration, disappointment, wondering why different choices were not and are not made, a life lived less than all that I am and that it could be…
These were some of the feelings that washed over me one morning recently after attending a Universal Medicine event: my own regret and devastation of living life in delay, in avoidance of living all of me in every single moment.
Recently I have been exploring the topic of judgement, as I have come to realise that I have been a very judgmental person for most of my life. Judging others is so much a part of what I do that I’m often not even aware that I am doing it. I have found that in order for me to be able to see a behaviour clearly, I need to be able to get a bit of distance between me and the behavior: but my problem with being judgmental is that it has often felt as close to me as my breath.
I was pondering recently on how much “I love being warm.” It’s winter where I live and I was appreciating the care and the detail I take in ensuring that I am warm wherever I go and no matter what I am doing.
I often received comments such as, “You must be a cold fish,” but that is not entirely true. What I do love is to feel warm and toasty in the cooler winter months. I love how my body feels when I am warm, whereas my body does not enjoy being cold at all. Many years ago I was camping in Europe in winter and it was not a pleasant experience – I was literally cold to my bones. I found that being cold is painful to the body and it does hurt.
Although we have an innocence and awareness as children when we are born, very rarely do we pass over the same way we came in, as we can end up loaded with beliefs and ideals, issues, hurts, regrets and protection – everything we are not.
A number of months ago I started to ‘feel,’ for the very first time, my shoulders. I didn’t feel the beauty of them or even their connection to my arms and the rest of my body. What I felt was how frozen they were.
Frozen as in a numbness that went so much deeper than numb, I can only describe it as frozen. I would reach back and press my fingers into different areas across my shoulders and not feel a thing. All that was there was a solid wall, if you will, that no feeling could penetrate. It was the oddest sensation and I kept pressing my fingers into my shoulders and upper back area at different times of the day as if checking that it was true, that I couldn’t feel a thing and I would ask myself how this could be possible. Continue reading “My Frozen Shoulders and the Big Thaw”
Do you ever feel like you are sleep walking through life? Going through the motions on automatic pilot, your eyes appear to be open, but the reality is they are not in the sense of having blinkers on, focussing only on what you need to do to get by, focussing only on your own little corner, and so in effect your world is tiny. I can relate to all of this.
What is the one thing that we say we do the most of, without actually doing it at all?
The idea of love is woven through pretty much every aspect of our lives: it’s mentioned in almost every song that we sing and poem that we write, it features in nearly every book that’s ever been written and has centre stage in many of our plays. We use it to advertise everything from chocolates to nappies, it’s written in our cards and on our clothes, we talk about it and we proclaim that we feel it (passionately), but is our use of the word ‘love’ true?
When we stop to listen to what people are saying – the way they talk about their lives, relationships, themselves – do we hear moaning or appreciation? It appears that it is more common to have a negative slant on things, with a tendency to blame or complain about the situations we find ourselves in.
Our media industry demonstrates better than anywhere else that the supply and demand for negativity, drama and emotionalism is a feedback loop we have created and continue to feed with gusto.
Settling in to my new home, I have time to reflect on the miraculous flow of events that have brought me to this point, and how they unfolded.
I wasn’t looking to move although I had begun to feel that my son and I were outgrowing the sweet mews house that we had been renting. I had a week off work and, as you do, casually yet curiously browsed the property pages.