My Frozen Shoulders and the Big Thaw

A number of months ago I started to ‘feel,’ for the very first time, my shoulders. I didn’t feel the beauty of them or even their connection to my arms and the rest of my body. What I felt was how frozen they were.

Frozen as in a numbness that went so much deeper than numb, I can only describe it as frozen. I would reach back and press my fingers into different areas across my shoulders and not feel a thing. All that was there was a solid wall, if you will, that no feeling could penetrate. It was the oddest sensation and I kept pressing my fingers into my shoulders and upper back area at different times of the day as if checking that it was true, that I couldn’t feel a thing and I would ask myself how this could be possible.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have movement in my shoulders or that there was a total disconnection – it was, I realised, that my shoulders and upper back area were always tensed. Once I started to tune into this feeling of tenseness, I became curious about how it would feel to be without tension in these areas and I started focussing on relaxing them every time my attention was drawn to them, whether walking, sitting at my desk at work, driving or cooking. What I noticed most however, was the way I woke in the morning.

I would wake up with my head halfway off the pillow, my jaw clenched shut and my entire body braced for fight or flight. A lifetime of sleeping and waking this way eventually takes its toll – no wonder I was completely and utterly exhausted!

I made a choice to nominate on a daily basis this manner in which I woke. I started setting my alarm clock 15 minutes earlier than usual to spend those extra minutes focussing on and feeling my body, in particular across my shoulders, as I lay in bed.

I did not judge or question my body or myself: I simply spent time relaxing the areas of my body that were tense and poised for fight or flight. It wasn’t easy at first as the minute I would relax the muscles in a certain area, they would be tensed and ready to jump again before I knew it.

Although I continued to wake with my jaw clenched and my body braced, these 15 minutes every morning were introducing the opportunity to re-learn how to be in my body with less tension for longer moments of time. Moment by moment my body started responding and slowly the unfamiliarity of this new way of being in my body began to abate.

I also started to feel a new sensation across my shoulders and upper back area, a sort of tingling, like the burning/tingling sensation you get when the tips of your fingers are starting to thaw from being out in the snow for too long. At times this burning sensation in my shoulders was difficult to endure as its presence was fairly constant, however I welcomed it as a change from the frozen feeling of numbness and accepted that it was a very physical indication that some sort of transformation was beginning to take place.

I had intensely disliked my shoulders from the time I was in my early teens. I swam and did springboard diving as well as gymnastics throughout my teenage years and I took on the belief that it was the strength I was building in my shoulders that made them look and feel so broad. On a subtler level there was also the understanding that I was actually wielding them as a weapon to keep people out and my true self locked in.

Looking back now, I can see and feel how what I was doing was simply building a fortress across my shoulders as a response to, and to protect myself from, the energetic attacks directed at me from the time I was a child. I had been living with the energy of terror as a result of these attacks from a very young age … the fight or flight reaction eventually became automatic and a learned way for me to be in my body.

While I was growing up I was unaware of all the many little choices I had been making and the consequences and impact they would have on my body and wellbeing. Being able to neither fight nor flee, the energy began to accumulate in my shoulders.

All these years I thought it was my shoulders I hated. Over the last few weeks I have come to realise that it was not my shoulders I so despised but the energy stored in them.

As the freeze continued to thaw, the burning/tingling sensation across my shoulders would come and go depending on how present I was with myself and with my body. When I wasn’t present in the moment, I would find my body automatically defaulting back to its familiar holding pattern of old but with the added burning/tingling sensation; it became a great joy to actually feel this as an uncomfortable feeling in my body rather than feeling absolutely nothing at all due to my shoulder area being under the ‘big freeze.’

This tingling sensation became my sign to pause, gather myself and adjust the way I was sitting, walking, driving and moving. In doing so, I started feeling a newfound freedom in my muscles and cells that has allowed for my shoulders to drop to a much more relaxed natural position. My neck and jaw have responded accordingly and this then has filtered down to how I am moving with and in the rest of my body, allowing for a deeper stillness that I can feel building from which my movements are expressing forth.

In an afternoon, some months ago my body started to shake. This shaking started from my shoulder area and went the length of my arms, with my hands shaking uncontrollably. My upper torso was shaking too, to the point where my son had to support me to get from the car into the house. Rather than freaking out, I started observing this shaking in my body which had moved down into my legs as well. I had a very strong feeling that I needed to come back to my centre and that my body needed to be handled with tenderness and great care. After several failed attempts I somehow managed to connect to the stillness within me and as I did so, the shaking lessened and my jaw relaxed somewhat. This ebb and flow continued for several hours but at some point I was able to lie down in bed and fall asleep.

I woke the next morning completely and utterly drained, with a high temperature and a splitting headache. I stayed in bed all day, mostly sleeping. As my body restored itself, I began to understand that my body was undergoing a mega clearing of the energy stored.

The high temperature, the shaking and the clenched jaw were the coming to the surface and the release in action of the energy of terror that I had been keeping imprisoned within my shoulder area for a lifetime.

Several weeks ago, I woke for the very first time with my head resting on the pillow, my upper body muscles relaxed and a new feeling in my body – close to what the feeling of being rested must be like. Waking up in a body void of being braced for attack felt almost a defeat at first, like I was finally letting the destructive energy win.

As I lay in bed allowing myself to feel the truth of what was taking place, I began to feel a sense of awe. The realisation that this must be what waking up is all about… feeling rested and refreshed, filled with joy for waking in a body that feels amazing.

This deep inner healing has reflected for me the truth of what true healing is all about and that there is no one else who can bestow true healing or indeed a miracle upon me. The Esoteric Practitioners of Universal Medicine can lovingly and beautifully support me in my healing, however it is I who chooses my own healing and my own miracle; the loving choices I make on a moment by moment basis enable me to move in such a way as to those movements being ones of self-love and healing.

Re-learning to make my choices loving ones has come about through my attendance at Universal Medicine workshops, courses and sessions presented by Serge Benhayon and Natalie Benhayon, and by being witness to the absolute commitment and dedication to truth that these amazing beings and their family live with and move in.

By Brigette Evans, a woman re-claiming and returning to her true self, Worcestershire, UK

Related Reading:
How to listen to your body
The Body’s True Intelligence
Self Care Tips

812 thoughts on “My Frozen Shoulders and the Big Thaw

  1. Brigette this is a huge confirmation of how we can if we chose change a life time of self protection and the damage this has on our bodies.
    To me Serge Benhayon and his family are offering a space and opportunity to reconnect back to the love that resides within us all. All the presentations and workshops that take place are all in this vein; a support.
    Though everything they say, and how they are with themselves and as a family reflects back to us all that there is a more loving way to live our lives if we so chose.

  2. ‘these 15 minutes every morning were introducing the opportunity to re-learn how to be in my body with less tension for longer moments of time.’ Our bodies really do have a wisdom that we can let be when we don’t restrict them.

  3. Its amazing how much tension we can hold in our bodies without even being aware of it. And often its not until something snaps or breaks as a result of the tension that we clock the severity of it. Not allowing tension to build up in the body is hugely important when it comes to helping it stay supple.

  4. ‘it was not my shoulders I so despised but the energy stored in them.’ What a revelation and we could look at any part of our body in this way. Start to detox and change the energy and we begin to bring back love and acceptance and even appreciation.

    1. This is revelation indeed. It may be off point but the part of myself I’ve struggled with all my life has been my hair. I’ve hated how unruly it’s been, how it has not conformed to the magazine pictures of hairstyles I wanted. Accepting my hair for where it’s at is a process. I have even had vague panics about how it is but there are days when I marvel at how amazing it is. Detoxing myself from ideals I’ve absorbed about how I should look and be to accepting and being.

  5. The true beauty of healing our bodies and all the energy we take on and store that can be released is amazing to share and realise what we can allow for our body with the way we live.

  6. Learning to feel again has been a wonderful and challenging journey for me too. There is so much in life setup to take us off track which we willingly get distracted by. But everything worth knowing and feeling I have found within myself and my body.

    1. Loving this, Fiona – ‘…everything worth knowing and feeling I have found within myself and my body.’ The more I know and feel through and within myself and my body the more I know the absolute truth of your words.

  7. Waking up to a sense of awe – I like that – it’s a bit like getting up after a true healing session – you have no doubt at all of the amazing expansion and greater sense of being you in all that you are.

  8. There’s beauty in shoulders and arms? Now that’s new… I have never really considered my arms or shoulders beautiful in the true meaning of the word. To me, they have always been functional, stretch at the gym, use to lift things, maybe wear a top which shows my shoulders off but never really considered that beauty could be hidden underneath the tension, within the muscles and joints. #somethingtocontemplate

  9. I loved re-reading this and what stands out is how the body wants to let go of all the stress and strains we put onto it. It is us that holds the body in tension and then push it to do even more. Very inspiring.

  10. This is very inspiring, the way you reclaimed your shoulders and arms, your whole body in the end, Checking in with the body is a practice well worth adopting in order to get out of the holding patterns of the past terror and anguish, the fight and flight response we store in our physicality.

  11. How amazing it is when we start opening our heart again.
    To let people in and to let the love out. So very simple but so much forgotten.

  12. I had a lightbulb moment of realisation when reading “it was not my shoulders I so despised but the energy stored in them.” It’s never the body or part of the body we dislike but the energy we store within it. From experience when I read and observe the energy in the body it starts to leave, whereas when ignored it will stay inside and continue to build.

    1. Yes, the body cops it when it is the choices we have made that in reality cause the disgust and disdain. The body is never at fault, it is how we run it that causes the disturbance if not devastation.

    1. I agree, SCE. I am loving the simplicity that is coming back into my life since starting to listen to the wisdom of my body. In returning to living in this beautifully simple way I am finding that the pain I occasionally feel as I re-trace and re-imprint the age-old steps that originally walked me away from this life of simplicity is my body going through the process of undoing and releasing all that I have imposed upon it that doesn’t belong. Returning to a loving way of being is so absolutely worth it!

  13. “This deep inner healing has reflected for me the truth of what true healing is all about and that there is no one else who can bestow true healing or indeed a miracle upon me”

    Love this this is so true, it is only really us who ultimately choose to heal or not.

  14. This is something I am going to bring more attention to when I get home. I’m away at the moment and how I sleep and how I wake up is completely different. I can see that they way I usually go to sleep is by crashing into bed and being relieved of the day. I then wake up feeling shocking and a part of me wishing I could lie there longer. With being away from home, I am hardly sleeping but waking up refreshed and ready to go.

  15. “I made a choice to nominate on a daily basis this manner in which I woke.” Such a simple thing to do, but what profound changes this offered to you and your body.

  16. Beautiful sharing and inspiring to read how you were able to observe what was there in your body, no judgements on the holding on but just a clarity you worked with all the way. A true miracle indeed and yet is was your simple choice to be with the wisdom of your body and its healing capacity.

  17. I’ve recently been bringing focus to my shoulders too, and particularly the back of the shoulder in the shoulder blade area and the soft part if the inner shoulder on the front. The delicacy that I find in these areas, when I allow my movement to reveal it, is a beautiful reminder that I can therefore change the way I move to support this delicacy that is otherwise there.

    1. As soon as I go into having to do something with drive and determination or that I need to deal with an issue with someone, my shoulders are the first part that hardens. My shoulders immediately come in and up and the delicacy is hidden under layers of protection. They show me so much which is great, as if I listen and pay attention can pull me up instantly to look at the quality in which I’ve gone into to do something and I can choose to make a change.

    1. Agreed Joseph we often try and ‘think’ our way out of things when the truth is its honesty that is deeply needed and if allowed provides the opening to the answers we have been asking for.

  18. My shoulders have always been rounded, turning in which caused constant pain or aches in this area that would travel into my upper back. I used it as a form of protection from all the things I didn’t like about life, but I was living in constant tension and anxiousness. Through Universal Medicine I began to understand that I can never protect myself in this way, as it hardens the body by closing down the heart, the organ that needs to stay open and receptive to everyone lovingly so. As I let go of the belief that I have to protect myself my shoulders are slowly releasing and my chest is opening up and I feel so much freer in this part of my body, it just shows how much we force the body into unnatural positions and how harming it is to be in protection.

    1. Thank you alisonmoir, what you’re sharing is hugely important to understand, and this is a great example of how our emotional responses – hurt and protection, affect the body and nervous system, very physically so.

      1. I agree Rosannabianchini we don’t really realise the impact we have on the body from our emotional issues. The more I understand this the more I can see we can affect any part of the body. For me it is my back and shoulders, but for some it might be their hips or their feet. This is why I love Universal Medicine because it offers a greater insight into the body and how we affect it, and through greater awareness and understanding we can begin to support ourselves to heal long before we need medical intervention.

    2. I love these conversations as it builds our awareness of cause and affect, which ultimately is the teacher of Responsibility

  19. I love the way that you start in this article, not with some big rah rah of some hard to fathom beauty, but rather of the reality of how your body felt, the honesty of this is, in itself, the most beautiful thing.

  20. One of the nicest things in life I have experienced is a chronic condition – it can be anything, musculoskeletal, a mental block, a desire for a harming food or substance – dissipating and then disappearing completely, as if it has never been there.

  21. Our bodies are indeed so incredibly amazing with relation to how they can deeply heal when given the sapce and true support they need to do that. We see it in the animal kingdom all the time when an injured animal will just take itself off quietly to sleep until its body has recovered enough to get back into life. It is a real honouring of who we are to do this for ourselves.

    1. It is a real honouring of who we are, Sandra. To come back to the simplicity of allowing our body to heal itself is a gift the animal kingdom reflects back to us on a regular basis. So why we have handed all power over to doctors and drugs when the body is capable of so much self healing? Of course there are times when mainstream medicine is absolutely essential however, at the rate drugs are prescribed these days for aches and pains that the body could naturally heal if given the space and time, one has to wonder whether all these drugs in the end prevent the body from healing what it could naturally heal itself and so keep the patient in the vicious cycle of lifetime prescriptions.

  22. Our bodies are amazing at presenting what needs to be healed at exactly the right times whether we are providing the right conditions for the necessary unfolding to occur as a willing process or if not and it just has to do it anyway in the form of illness and disease. Either way we are blessed in the process.

  23. I think it’s really great how you say that – “I did not judge or question my body or myself…” – and you didn’t ignore what was there either but tuned into it and were curious and open to see how to bring more harmony back to your body, without rush but with commitment.

  24. I really love how you supported yourself here especially setting your alarm clock 15 minutes earlier just so you had more time to be with your body and how you were feeling. This has inspired me and also shown me how I do not currently give myself the space to do this for me on a regular basis. Over the last few days I have felt how my body feels inflamed and although I have felt and been aware of this I can see I have not brought in that detail of love as you have done with your shoulder. Well not yet! Thank you for the inspiration.

    1. Yes, I have found it transformative to give myself a few extra minutes during many daily occasions. This way more gets actually done and at a higher level of quality.

    2. This is inspiring me too. I’ve been having treatment on my shoulder for calcification for nearly a year on and off which has helped tremendously but bringing a level of awareness and care to what my shoulder is showing me is what will also support me to completely heal the energy in which is stored there.

  25. ‘ this must be what waking up is all about… feeling rested and refreshed, filled with joy for waking in a body that feels amazing.’ Beautiful Brigette!

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