To Moan or to Appreciate… a Choice?

When we stop to listen to what people are saying – the way they talk about their lives, relationships, themselves – do we hear moaning or appreciation? It appears that it is more common to have a negative slant on things, with a tendency to blame or complain about the situations we find ourselves in.

Our media industry demonstrates better than anywhere else that the supply and demand for negativity, drama and emotionalism is a feedback loop we have created and continue to feed with gusto.

Could it be that this endless diet of invasive interest in other people’s lives, mishaps, challenges and shortcomings keeps us in a distracted, irresponsible relationship with life, looking out at others in competition and comparison rather than simply taking responsibility for our lives and the opportunities we have to make a difference, by our choices and the way we live?

Yes, it is important to be very aware of what is going on around us – observing the social climates we have built. But that is where our focus can stop, inspiring us to consider what would really make a difference rather than getting in deeper and deeper, feeding off or lost in the quagmire of gossip.

Our magazines, newspapers and online news feeds are becoming ever more salacious, extreme, sensationalist and embroidered. Journalism is not the simple, clear recording of facts and dissemination of truth, it is the emotional dramatisation of events loaded with bias, innuendo and opinion. And we appear to love it: a diet of distraction and drama that we are loath to let go of.

It is in the disconnection within ourselves that we hunt for, and thirst after, the gossip about others; this keeps us in competition and comparison with each other – either worthless because our lives, our look, our home or our cooking are so below standard, or relieved about the fact that someone is worse off than us or has ‘stuffed up’ more than us.

Whilst we keep responsibility at arm’s length, nothing is going to change. Until we are prepared to look quietly and honestly at the quality with which we live, take care of ourselves, interact in our relationships, live in our homes, commit to our work, drive, walk, cook, think… we have to accept that we are part of the perpetuation of the cycle of distraction and abuse that is our media, online communication, everyday gossip and one-upmanship.

Exposing all of the above and being honest about it provides us with the always fresh opportunity to approach our lives differently; introducing appreciation and responsibility as a super strong tag team that can arrest our habits outlined above. When we wake up in the morning and before we turn on the radio, television, computer, could we take a moment to consider the anything, everything and all that we have to appreciate? The smallest to the vast: the warmth of our feet, the people in the house with us, birdsong, fresh air to breathe, the opportunity the day offers to meet others, the fresh slate that every day (actually every moment) offers and the power at our fingertips to make changes in our lives simply by the way we move, touch things, handle ourselves.

To moan or to appreciate?

Could it be that this choice is a life-changer?

Repeating patterns or calling the changes?

Over to us : )

By Judy Joy and Matilda Bathurst

Related Reading:
Serge Benhayon TV Episode 7 – The Science of Responsibility
What is the Science of Appreciation and how does it evolve all of our relationships?

814 thoughts on “To Moan or to Appreciate… a Choice?

  1. True Appreciation can only be when we understand that we are more than physical and what is coming through us is divine, and the imprints and everything in our lives comes from god and then we can appreciate physicality.

  2. ‘It appears that it is more common to have a negative slant on things, with a tendency to blame or complain about the situations we find ourselves in.’ Having observed some elderly people in a home recently, I got to see how a lifetime of negativity for some and a lifetime of seeing the glass as half empty impacted the body and attitude towards themselves and to life. To see life as abundant or not is simply a choice but in order to see it as the former there needs to be an element of self love there in the first place. This too is a matter of choice and for some of us it will take a number of lives to get there.

  3. Sometimes I catch myself moaning and god it feels horrid, I love this blog as it reminds us all that every moment we have a choice, right now I am appreciating I am pretty amazing.

  4. I have a friend who used to watch a well know soap series on the television back in the 80’s I asked them at the time why they watched such utter rubbish and they replied that they were relieved about the fact that someone is worse off than themselves and were making worse life choices which made them feel better about the choices they had made, as in comparison their choices didn’t seem so bad. What this showed me was the fact that they knew they were making choices that were not supporting them to live in a more loving way but as long as there was someone worse off than themselves they didn’t feel they needed to change the way they were living. Interestingly they up-sticks and moved abroad and live such a different life now that it is unrecognizable from the way they had been living which wasn’t really living but just existing from day to day. Sometimes our bodies gives us a big wakeup call and this time my friend listened and has not looked back in regret, why would they as they lead such a joyful life, every day is full of wonder and surprises.

  5. It really shows where we are at if we have more pleasure printing lies and hearing about people’s so called break-ups (the media) over the truth and celebrating each other and all of our relationships. It is actually very sad that people think this is what they can ‘dish up’ and what we should accept. Raising the standards and bar of what we as humanity deserve is deeply needed. #nomorelies #celebratingothers #makeitabouttruthandpeople ✨

  6. I went to a family gathering recently and it was very interesting because within a short space of time we were talking about life and we look for security because we feel unsafe in the world, where does this unsafe feeling come from. And someone mentioned that we always get on to big subjects when I’m around. Then other extended members of the family came and the men got together and discussed football, the transfer of players the money involved etc. Then I understood that the discussions we had earlier were not what was usually talked about and everyone felt safer talking about Football or the women talking about TV drama programs they are watching. This was fascinating because I really got to feel we are so controlled by an energy that cannot as yet been seen which encourages us to settle for so much less than the grandness we come from. I had not noticed this before meeting Serge Benhayon, his presentations have opened my eyes to what is truly occurring in our society and that we have all contributed to this dulling of our senses.

    1. What an awesome observation, Mary. You have so described the way men and women generally pull away into two groups and strike up a conversation on topics that most are comfortable with – ones that actually ask nothing more of them than to repeat what they have seen on TV or read elsewhere. This is also where the weather can become a point of interest as well – a universally ‘safe topic’. My observation is that often there is often a woman or two who join the men’s group, while the more generally sensitive, less sports orientated men prefer the company of the women.

  7. If we took the time to stop and really considered what has been written in this sentence “the fresh slate that every day (actually every moment) offers and the power at our fingertips to make changes in our lives simply by the way we move, touch things, handle ourselves.” We would get to feel what an amazing opportunity we are all constantly given in every moment, a possibility to change how we are living from negativity to positivity.

  8. One of the greatest foundations we can give ourselves in life is to learn to appreciate deeply. First, this exercise can begin with appreciation of the simple things such as having a roof over our heads, clothes to wear, a car to drive – for this is sometimes the easiest way to begin. And then from there we can begin to appreciate the things we do (we go to work, we make dinner for the family etc). But even then this is not really doing anything other than to bridge ourselves to being able to deeply appreciate who we are and the qualities that we bring (which really have nothing to do with what we have and what we do!). True appreciation that builds us as beings is about appreciating who we are and the unique qualities that we bring to all those around, and the fact that we and our qualities are very much needed in our world especially with its current state of affairs. These could be the qualities of dedication, the qualities of deep care, solidarity etc. It is an amazing process of discovery and then appreciation and celebration.

    1. I have decided to show people that they are appreciated just for who they are because at a funeral recently I realised we show a deep appreciation for the person after they are dead. That’s the wrong way round, we should appreciate people when they are alive so that they know how much they are appreciated and loved by their family, friends and work colleagues etc. I told a work colleague of mine just how much I appreciated him and why and he replied by saying no one had ever spoken to him in that way and he was bowled over by my feelings which he could feel were genuine.

  9. I have found that most people are happiest when there is something to complain about, we are not used to being contented with life. I feel this is because life is set up for us not to be contented but to live in the unsettlement this is the surest way to keep us all from the stillness that lies within each and every one of us. I believe if we reconnected back to the stillness we all come from we would be living in a more harmonious way.

  10. It’s a hard pill to swallow when we look at how we are with gossip and being overly interested in other people’s lives, and then to put that in the same basket as the tabloid nonsense that we say we hate. Could it be that we are contributing to what we say we hate?

  11. ‘The smallest to the vast: the warmth of our feet, the people in the house with us, birdsong, fresh air to breathe, the opportunity the day offers to meet others, the fresh slate that every day (actually every moment) offers.’ This is beautiful and is such an important reminder. I had been stuck in judgment and criticism and have recently made the choice to appreciate those around me and to lighten up and have fun. It feels gorgeous to have made this choice and I can now see how stuck I was in blame and judgement and seeing things and people negatively. I feel like a load has been lifted from my shoulders and it was simply a choice to see things differently and to love and appreciate those around me.

  12. Thank you Judy and Matilda for the wonderful reminder to focus on the sun and its rays rather than make it all about the clouds.

  13. Distractions certainly abound in all the ways that we can delve into dramas (our own or someone else’s), make mountains out of molehills and make complications etc. All this so as not to deal with what really needs to be dealt with and to realise how capable we really are.

  14. Reading this article reminds me of an experience that I had recently with someone close to me, where we had some issues between us and when asked by someone else what we appreciated about each other there was no stopping me, there was so much to appreciate and it put the issues into perspective and by simply appreciating the other person I felt the huge love and gorgeousness that was there.

  15. I love this article and can feel that I do not express my appreciation of the people in my life enough. It seems so easy to see the negative and to moan when there is so much to appreciate. What I have found is that when I do start appreciating I notice that there is so much more to appreciate and the appreciation then seems to flow more.

  16. There’s always something to learn from every situation so there’s no point in moaning because it only serves to bring us down. Whereas appreciation works wonders on keeping our thoughts positive, which in the long run is far more healthier for us and those around us.

  17. This is absolutely true; ‘It appears that it is more common to have a negative slant on things, with a tendency to blame or complain about the situations we find ourselves in.’ And I realise that I have got caught up in this negativity and have not fully appreciate the amazing people in my life.

  18. A fresh slate every moment – thank you for this reminder. I just spent most of the morning feeling like a very bitter, grumpy person that I am so not in truth, and still feeling the residue of it. I can feel it is entirely my choice to cling onto whatever and making it into an issue, while there always stands another choice to stop, and start anew.

    1. Love what you have shared Fumiyo – for we all have days like that! My son has a gorgeous saying: “when I am grumpy I don’t want to have fun, and when I am having fun there is not time to be grumpy”. Pearls of wisdom from a very young little man.

  19. ” To moan or to appreciate?”
    What a question and the answer is obvious, Appreciation.
    One is here and the opportunity to be and live in truth are endless.

  20. Moaning is such an addictive behaviour to take on and it doesn’t feel good to us let alone those around us. It also keeps us in the belief that life is miserable and there is nothing we can do about it but that’s not true because having appreciation can change any situation.

  21. Gorgeous; ‘When we wake up in the morning and before we turn on the radio, television, computer, could we take a moment to consider the anything, everything and all that we have to appreciate?’ I can feel that there is so much to appreciate and have noticed how joyful and lighthearted and connected with others I feel when I appreciate myself and others.

  22. This is absolutely true; ‘ It appears that it is more common to have a negative slant on things, with a tendency to blame or complain about the situations we find ourselves in.’ I felt very moany and negative recently which is unlike me, what I realised is how tiring this is and how flat it makes you feel.

  23. When we break it down there is something to appreciate in almost every situation, even if initially that might seem like a long shot. Our hardest challenges can often lead to the greatest learning.

  24. When we can appreciate the passing-over cycle of life so we do not fear death then it is a responsibility to live in a way that eliminates the emotions associated with passing. By celebrating a person while they are alive so we get to share our appreciation of what we feel about them and when done in a responsible way we have completion with them.
    And then will we not in every interaction that comes our way feel complete, with ‘none / zero’ of the normal regrets and thus eliminating the emotional-heart-string-pulling ways of living?
    Thus disconnecting us from the religious institutions that would have us believe in the death of a person so we do not get to truly celebrate their passing as these institutions would get us caught in the emotional turmoil with the great feeling of loss of a so called loved one at a service or wake etc.

  25. If one chooses it is so easy to feel the difference between moaning and appreciation in one’s body and once felt it is a no-brainer as to which one one would choose.

  26. Moaning about things always comes with a heavy feeling, whereas appreciation lightens things up even when we are struggling with a situation. How awesome is it to appreciate someone who you have a problem with – suddenly the bad feelings dissolve and you see the situation for what it is.

  27. The power of appreciation is so under-rated and dismissed. We should be looking at this in depth, for if the world so easily dismisses the power of appreciation, then to look at it – just out of curiosity to consider why this should be. Could it be that appreciation shows us who we are, and the more we appreciate the more we feel our worth and our tenderness. The more we appreciate, the more we connect to these Godly qualities. Is that why they are so easily dismissed in this world?

    1. The impact on our lives when we choose to appreciate is far greater than we care to feel. We can so often normalise that which is far from holding us with the levels of respect we are often searching for.

  28. I have been such a moaner in my life – nowadays I’m learning appreciation and noticing how different that feels and oh boy it feels different. Thank God for Serge Benhayon, Master of appreciation, for walking the way so we all can see what is needed.

    1. Well said Ariana. Life is so different when one appreciates instead of moaning and the reflection of Serge Benhayon is indeed a guiding light for all.

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