What are we Truly Looking for?

On a cold and wet November evening whilst posting a letter, I was approached by a young man. He smiled and pointed to his ears to show me he had no hearing ability and I observed his movements without any sense of concern despite being a lone female on a dark road. He then handed me a piece of paper to read.

I put my glasses on and read the note as he stood before me and I could feel an urgency he was trying to convey. But as I stood still and read the note, I realised it was at odds with what I felt in him.

Here was a beautiful being, standing face to face with me without any sense of aggression or emotion and yet the note could be felt quite clearly to be asking for something much deeper.  I heard myself saying ‘no’ as he mouthed his need for money to get home, but at the same time felt something exquisite within me saying ‘yes’ to opening my heart to this person I had never before met.

To stand and feel these two elements very much at odds: the beautiful being and the letter were like observing two distinct and opposing factions.

I felt no judgement toward him as a person since he presented this beauty from within, which we all are, and the behaviour was simply a coat to be worn when the choice was made to cover up that innate essence that we all share. The irony here being that we choose these protective behaviours in an attempt to not get hurt, but in the end, we are hurt by the lack of connection it fosters.

Despite his gesticulations, I repeated ‘No’ to his request and the clarity with which it came allowed him to surrender to his own deeper wisdom. The young man placed his hand on his heart, mouthing he understood and then threw his arms wide asking for a hug. So there we were standing in the street, two strangers hugging, bringing a gorgeous warmth to a damp and dreary November evening. There was no part of me that held back from that hug and I felt his body melt into my arms.

So whilst perhaps his outward approach was to ask for money, in fact, I felt, he, like all of us, deep down simply wanted to be truly met. In the moment we embraced, I felt a deep connection with a warm glow in my heart and felt fuller for the experience as we each turned and walked away. By uniting in this way, I feel we are offering this quality to other people in our lives – a true enrichment that goes beyond any monetary value and is, in fact, priceless.

By Judy, Personal Funeral Advisor, Oxford

Further reading:
What’s in a Hug
Stranger Danger – I don’t think so!
Connecting to People – No such thing as Strangers

26 thoughts on “What are we Truly Looking for?

  1. Our days can be full of demands and critiques – things we complain about or get stressed by, but really underneath isn’t all we truly want to be met as you met this young man? Precious it would be, if we stopped at last and offered ourselves the grace of space and love to be ‘internally hugged’.

  2. Being ‘protected’ keeps us in separation, isolated with our hurts. Openness makes us feel vulnerable, but the melting we experience in every encounter brings us to the realisation that we are much more than that.

    1. – I can definitely relate to being in protection keeps us in separation, it was because of your comment Amparo that I realised in a recent situation, I went into protection the drawbridge came up, my defense mechanisms kicked in and I was ready to fight back to defend and justify. I had completely isolated myself because I felt the overwhelming desire to attack before being attacked.

  3. Pretty much everything that we think we’re looking for we’re actually not. Be that a better job, a nicer car, a partner, an interesting hobby, a holiday house, financial security, a better body etc because none of these things provide us with the settlement that we all so desperately crave. The deep settlement that we all know is possible and are all unconsciously looking for can only be found in our re-alignment with a consciousness that’s true. There is a solidness in the resoluteness of the truth of this consciousness that wipes the floor with the flimsy piecemeal offerings and hankerings of the spirit.

  4. The ability to read and discern energy allows us to honour another and bring a true reflection of what is possible. Honouring what is true and walking the earth in this is our energetic responsibility.

  5. I have so much to learn from this sharing and one of them is discerning energy as there you were on a cold wet November evening approached by a young man while on your own posting a letter. Too be totally honest with you Judy I’m not sure if I would have been so open hearted as you obviously were on that night. I feel I would have gone into protection and thereby missed the offering that was so clearly there to be discerned.

  6. Judy I can so relate to what you are sharing here
    ”The irony here being that we choose these protective behaviours in an attempt to not get hurt, but in the end, we are hurt by the lack of connection it fosters.”
    We are also hurt by the energy we are calling in that has no regard for the human it is occupying in that moment we become a puppet to its own desires.

  7. Open our heart brings so much to share, as this is True, Intimacy and thus the preciousness of opening our heart and shoulders up to another and this relaxing gesture deepens our relationships on so many levels.

    1. Absoulutely Mary the abundance of Love is always pouring fourth from heaven, and it is simply up to us all to understand the True relationship that can be had with divinity.

  8. I loved reading about your experience Judy – it just goes to show how much our interconnection with others counts in a very significant way!

  9. Being held and met for who I am, without any expectation or need to be different is something that I craved for most of my life. Thanks to working with Universal Medicine and having sessions to heal my hurts I could realize that this holding quality, this love I needed is within me all the time and I’m the one who can give myself everything that confirms and nurtures the essence of who I am. Once we come to this point the fight and the desperation to fill ourselves with something external (recognition, acceptance or whatever) is over. Then we re-start a path of constant healing, never perfect, but full of joy and purpose.

  10. This is a great example of how love is not something special you can give to someone but a living quality that can be lived from inside out, with everyone, even those who may encounter for the first time.

  11. Beautiful Judy. Your words can be felt and are deeply touching as the warm and nurturing hug you shared with this young man. We never know the challenges people may be facing so staying present, observing with such an open heart is best gift we can offer. We have so much to share when we connect from this place of equalness.

  12. Thank you Judy.The scenario you describe is offered to me often. I feel I am still unsure how to accept it…
    Sympathy only feeds the lies and misery by bringing more credence to them and yet I can still fall for it.
    When I don’t close down in pity and reaction I can keep my heart open, I can see who a person really is and this is so beautiful, yes, it is so much more than money or any other quick fix could ever offer, to truly meet another is as you say, priceless.When I feel it I have to ask: ‘Why would we let anything get in the way of this, in the way of us being together?’.

    1. Sympathy is like slapping someone around the chops with a damp cloth, it offers them nothing. If we can offer someone the crisp clear understanding of the firey consciousness then this will support them to feel the expansion that’s on offer at any given moment. Yes of course our timing is crucial and it might well be that space is all that’s needed at that particular moment in time.

      1. I will remember your expression Alexis
        “Sympathy is like slapping someone around the chops with a damp cloth, it offers them nothing” it’s a great expression which captures the futility of sympathy very well.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.