Building Loving Relationships in our Communities

A while ago I started noticing a number of shops closing down or just sitting empty. I wondered why. So I started talking to the people who felt they had to close their shops.

The common theme that came up was that their rents have been raised and they can’t afford to pay what the landlords are asking for. Some even felt they were being pushed out because they were not of a certain nationality.

This all got me reflecting on what has happened to equality for all, what has happened to decency, respect and care for our fellow brothers, no matter what nationality they are, or whether they are skinny, overweight, rich, poor, Australian, Chinese etc?

I wondered, why are we not accepted in society for who we naturally are?

  • Why does someone have to be more or less than another?
  • Why do we segregate each other or allow the segregation?
  • Where is the genuine support and deep care for each other?
  • Why aren’t we truly listening to another?

When I was a child, life was simple: people would support the little businesses around town and if there was work to be done at someone’s place, we would all get together to help out.

I can remember my dad one day wanted support with setting up a pool in the back yard. So, everyone got together to set the pool up and at the end of the day my parents put on a barbeque for everyone to say thank you – to let everyone know how much they deeply appreciated all their support. Then, when someone else needed something else done another day we would all get together again and support them. Then it would be their turn to put on a ‘barby’.

To me back then it was like we were one big family. I feel this is how we are all supposed to be… one big family, all collaborating together.

For me, community is not about the individual, it’s not about someone being more or less than another. It’s not about using people to get what someone wants. It is about deepening the true quality in how we all are with each other, our connections, lifting everyone up in equalness, a sense of openness with each other and true support when needed, truly connecting to each other in a gentle, deep caring, loving way that does not in any way harm another: this is what can build an awesome community.

But is our world missing these important ingredients today?

I know there is a heap going on in our world now: there are so many relationships in deep disregard, harm and abuse. This is a world that is segregating us all in one way or another, as opposed to us all living in brotherhood, leaving no one less or more.

I wonder what it would be like if we had a ‘one country world’ filled with harmony, not segregated by borders, wars, religions, politics, social segregation etc… a world where we all deeply cared for others with decency and respect in everything we do. What if it is possible and it all started with developing a true loving relationship with ourselves first – and then establishing true connection with others.

What I have come to understand through the teachings of Serge Benhayon, Universal Medicine and from my own lived experiences, is I now know with all my heart that everything I do, say, act and think impacts not only myself, but others as well.

I wonder how often it is that we consider how are we in our relationships and what the effects of our choices are having on another, including ourselves? Are we loving or harming another?

I remember a time in my past when I put myself on a program to bring deeper awareness to how I was in all my relationships, whether that was with my family, the shop assistant at the plaza, my hairdresser, the woman I sat next to at the doctor’s surgery, the stranger in the park, my employees at work, my family etc.

To do this, I knew I had to be honest with myself. Like how am I feeling and expressing in my relationships throughout my day?

It was time to explore this…

It was quite revealing for me: I realised at the time there were some people I didn’t allow myself to truly connect to, where others I did. I was realising I hadn’t been treating everyone with equality.

This was something that needed to change, so from then on I have been doing my best to purposefully connect with everyone I meet… holding myself as an equal too, which at the time was quite challenging for me.

But with all this deeper awareness came responsibility – responsibility for my quality of being in the way I express in my relationships, including the relationship I have with myself and my body.

I’m not perfect at this and nor do I expect to be, but no matter what challenges may come my way, I now know I always have the choice to choose the quality I want to be in, with whatever I have to face and how I want to express to another. Each and every one of us can make this choice.

I’m realising more every day that all our connections big or small are so valuable.

Sometimes when I go down the street to the plaza to buy my groceries, I often end up talking to a stranger, as for some reason some people feel drawn to me, they feel safe to open up to me about what is happening in their lives. I know in that moment I do make a difference in someone’s life, which can also have a flow on effect with another, that they too come across.

Each one of us has the power to activate a seed in someone, to make a difference in their life: it could be through a simple conversation, or it could even be with a gorgeous smile.

Writing this blog makes me realise how important it is to let people in, to be open-hearted and embrace all our connections we have with different people who come across our path and to build and experience true community.

By Jody Bladin, Office Manager, with a love of connecting to people – you never know what may unfold.

Related reading:
Where am I from? The Myth of Nationality
Truly Appreciating the people in my Neighbourhood
Quality of Movement = Quality of Life

66 thoughts on “Building Loving Relationships in our Communities

  1. Yes, it’s similar where I come from. When work needs to be done, my father always knew the right person who could help. Even the builders who were paid were thanked with a meal at lunch or for dinner. It is common practice that after a long day of work, the people who the work is done for put together a meal for those helping. They sit together, laugh, joke and celebrate the day of hard work. I like that custom it brings people together. Now-a-days, we’re too scared to offer our builders a cup of tea out of fear that they may sue us – it’s crazy the barriers we build between ourselves.

  2. What has happened in our communities these last twenty years has been shocking, we have got too involved in the doing and missed those heavenly sent relationships that are all around us.

  3. We need to fully appreciate the power we offer the world just by simply being open with others that we content to. And, the far-reaching ripples it causes until it looks like rain on the water.

  4. Yes our world is missing these vital ingredients and hence why ill mental health and illness and disease are soaring.
    We are living far from the true community we know to be true in our hearts.

  5. I have also been aware of the magic that happens when we talk to strangers. It has become like the old jack-in-a-box that is just waiting to be released. But now the only thing required for Jack to be released is for us to express openly with all we are.

  6. Sounds like a recipe for a very different and more caring and loving world Jody. Changing life doesn’t have to be a dramatic thing. It can be a simple choice to be more loving with each other. Perhaps that is all that is needed.

    1. Love what you share Richard. Simplicity wins over drama any day. ‘It can be a simple choice to be more loving with each other’ Nothing more needed.

    2. “Changing life doesn’t have to be a dramatic thing. It can be a simple choice to be more loving with each other” but Richard the beautiful thing is that simply being more loving with each other can lead to dramatic change”.

  7. In our connection to others we sow the seed of what true communication brings – a deepening and intimate relationship with ourselves that is felt and expanded the more we express from our heart.

  8. ‘I remember a time in my past when I put myself on a program to bring deeper awareness to how I was in all my relationships’ I like this 🙂
    Bringing more awareness to the way we relate to others is a great and needed point to consider, as we inherently live in community. That allows us to deeply feel our impact in others and keep opening up to them as well, without preconceived ideas, but just feeling what may be there to be shared at each time.

  9. Each time we react to a situation or person, it helps to reflect on it. Often we find our disappointment, annoyance or anger is is rooted in a picture unconsciously held. When this happens we’re shown we have not moved in a way that was open to simply receive what is offered. Reaction not only disturbs us, but also people we relate to in our community. Being aware of how we move and what we hold in our bodies is super important if we’re to release our dependence on pictures and relate to people lovingly and with respect.

    1. We can present ourselves to the world that we are like a crystal-clear pond. But, as soon as there is movement, the silt that has settled on the bottom obscures everything. Our undealt with stuff is always waiting to keep us from seeing the truth.

  10. Shown a picture of a family group hug at a celebratory event, I observed members of the group facing inwards towards themselves forming a closed circle. In true family or community, the group is open, faces outwards and equally welcomes everyone within and without.

  11. Obviously there are people all around the world that do truly make it about communities and people but unfortunately, currently, there is much in the world that is about the ‘individual’ which of course is what you have been more aware of here in your own local area. But if we in our lives make it about people and relationships and connection first then there will be more of a ripple affect going out to the world of this quality. We all make a difference and one small change in doing this, genuinely, could actually be one very big change across the world ✨

    1. I agree with you Vicky, it seems a bit ironic that we have access to the whole world with the internet and yet we have become more insular and imbedded in self more than ever – something doesn’t add up.

  12. Thank you Jody. And I agree about the importance of all our interactions, long, short, one-off or those with people we spend a lot of time with. Our words, our tone, the quality with which we express have a lasting impact and much of this goes unseen. This awareness brings my attention to the responsibility I have to move myself through the day with great care and respect for myself and others.

  13. ‘ no matter what nationality they are, or whether they are skinny, overweight, rich, poor, Australian, Chinese etc?’, it’s so incredibly telling of where we’re all at that what we see in another are their differences before we feel their similarities. We label and pigeonhole others in the blink of an eye and once we’ve categorised them and filed them away then we have brought in a wedge between them and us that won’t be removed until we remove the imposition of the beliefs that have brought the wedge in in the first place and that can take lifetimes, or not.

  14. On our walk in the park last night, I was drawn to a rather large black dog with a bounce in its step that reminded me of a boxer in the ring when the bell rings. Light, delicate and powerful all at the same time. And was pulled back to the person walking the dog, who said good evening to us. We had started a conversation with him last week that had started on the subject of his soft as muck big black dog that just wants to play. Our connection to others are seeds we plant.

  15. And communities vary, each one has something to offer us. Walking down a street yesterday, I passed a fleet of elite, powerful, super luxury and charged racing cars parked in line on the kerbside side. The woman in the local charity shop told me six were valued at two million pounds each, one, 20 carat gold embossed car, at thirty million pounds and a another parked inside the showroom, just sold for fifty million pounds. I didn’t react, simply observed and wondered what this symbolism offered me. Power and true worth cannot be bought, it is priceless, not something to look at, photograph and share on line, it is something we hold within. We don’t need to paint a car in 20 carat cold, connected to our own exquisite innateness is gold. To move fully present in our own body, feel settled and at one with ourselves and humanity is a blessing and to be treasured.

  16. To bring awareness to the quality of relationship we have with our world is a wonderful thing. When we become an observer, not just of others, but ourselves in relationship with others, we are constantly learning. I love your honesty and pause to reflect on self, we’re all called to do the same.

  17. Quite often you hear about projects that have sprung up in communities that have been struggling with crime and often it is the community members themselves that have initiated the project and change happens within the community. People start to come together for a common goal and they find that by taking an interest in the environment they live in and in each other the crime rate decreases.

  18. We are in community with everyone and it is our responsibility to greet all with an open and loving heart, the rest unfolds as it is meant too. The moment we question ‘community’, who’s in, who’s out and what constitutes community there is already separation.

  19. Currently so many of our ‘communities’ are based on separation, which makes me wonder if a community is based on separation then is it a true community? Surely any true community must bleed effortlessly into everyone else otherwise it doesn’t have the qualities of true community.

  20. Awesome the programme you put yourself on ‘I put myself on a program to bring deeper awareness to how I was in all my relationships, whether that was with my family, the shop assistant at the plaza, my hairdresser, the woman I sat next to at the doctor’s surgery, the stranger in the park, my employees at work, my family etc. To do this, I knew I had to be honest with myself.’ #takingresponsibility #lovingyourselfandallrelationshipsmore ✨

    1. And it’s the honesty that’s the hard part as we’re all accomplished liars, we’ve all had a few hundred lifetimes of practice and lie so naturally that we don’t even recognise that we’re doing it.

  21. When you go for a walk, do you speak to others walking by you? You have that moment of eye contact, but do you miss that golden opportunity by not, simply saying hello? The connection to others is constellated, the phone is ringing, so why don’t we answer the call?

  22. The problems is everyone wants to protect their own space not realising there is no ‘private’ space. Space is communal filled with love and God.

  23. What you describe of how the community you lived in worked together and supported each other is an example of the potential that lies within all communities. When Individual family units and individuality is the dominating frequency, the sense of true community is lost. We have a responsibility to bring back true community in the way we move and relate to others.

  24. “Each one of us has the power to activate a seed in someone, to make a difference in their life: it could be through a simple conversation, or it could even be with a gorgeous smile” In conversation with a group of women each examples of this – how they in their loving presence touched the heart of another, enabled them to open up, even cry and express their true feelings. Presence alone is enough, often few words are needed.

  25. Jody I thought of you because I drove to a builders merchant and there was a huge lorry being un loaded and the driver of the lorry was just standing there watching and waiting I guess so he could drive off again. As I got out of my car he came over and said
    “I have one of those”
    Meaning my car and then proceeded to tell me what he loved about driving such a car, he told me a little about his life and why he was now living down South rather than up North. He was a friendly sweet natured guy who wanted to talk because like you have said he felt drawn to me because I must of felt safe for him to open up and chat. How magical is that that someone can feel in another that there is no harm and so can feel at ease with themselves and me. When I came out of the merchants he then offered to hold my large and heavy box while I opened the car door. When we live in harmlessness life becomes magical and full of special moments that are also normal moments as this is how we could be with everyone all the time.

    1. The world is full of people just waiting to express openly, but they are a bit timid. When offering our all and need no reply, with something as simple as saying good morning, open their flood gate to enjoin in conversation.

    2. Such a beautiful everyday example of the joy and the possibilities on offer when taking the time to stop to have a conversation with another. Priceless moments that make life feel so very rich. This is the foundation of true community.

    3. I love this last bit Mary. How normal these gorgeous connections really are, it is after all more natural for us to support and take care of one another. This simple way of being will change the world.

    4. I feel like we all know this ‘magic’ and if we are honest with ourselves, miss it a lot. How wonderful it is when we start to allow it back into our lives.

  26. ‘Building Loving Relationships in our Communities’ just this title alone makes my heart sing ❤️ I love it when we make it about people first ✨

  27. Jody, what an absolutely beautiful blog, it has brought tears to my eyes. “I now know with all my heart that everything I do, say, act and think impacts not only myself, but others as well.”
    A huge and wonderful reminder to be absolute love with everyone.

  28. Thanks Jody for everything you have shared, it’s very heartfelt. I liked this “I put myself on a program to bring deeper awareness to how I was in all my relationships”. When I read this it felt like something very purposeful and constructive to do, and I’m inspired to become more aware myself of how I am with people. Sometimes beliefs or past experiences can trigger us to be closed off, instead of loving and open.

  29. Only when we deepen the love we innately are and connect to the universality of life can we truly be open to all others – no amount of trying will achieve this.

  30. The very individualistic way we live and behave is reflected in our institutions everywhere and it feels like we have lost the basic awareness of what caring looks like in practice. But perhaps this is more so because we have lost that ability to show what real care and love looks like within the family and on a further micro scale what it actually means to love and care for oneself. The expression of love and care is really simple and takes no effort at all, but only if we can do that for ourselves first.

  31. We are a weird group of human-beings because somehow we have introduced a pecking order in our society that is so unnecessary and is quite vile actually. We are all the same no matter what skin type, Nationality or religious views. It’s a huge game we have been playing for eons because while we push and shove and squabble amongst ourselves trying to out compete with each other we are not focusing on what we should all be doing which is to live in a way that will evolve us all. And the fact that we are in such resistance to our evolution shows me how much we want to be an individual and to stay in the rot we have made for ourselves.

    1. Thank you for expanding ‘Community’ with these couple of questions around does the truth that we are all here makes us ‘Community’ – and all that arises from this.

  32. This is what its really about, community, connection and relationships – everything else should come secondary.

  33. Jodi what you have shared is ultimately what life is all about, deepening our connection to self and others. And I would add that this deepening our connection with self and others equates to a deepening our connection with God.

  34. ‘When I was a child, life was simple: people would support the little businesses around town and if there was work to be done at someone’s place, we would all get together to help out.’ This feels so much more honouring of ourselves than what we have now. We have become so isolated in our individualism that we have forgotten what it feels like to actually live within a community – what it is, what it looks like and how it behaves.

    1. I agree Michelle, we live with a ‘what’s in it for me’ attitude and most of us would only help another out if we knew that they were either going to help us out in return or pay us back in some way.

      1. I see this reflected so much in society, but especially at work. I feel that everyone I work with is family and, to me, to care and give my time is natural but not everyone there operates like this there (in fact very few). It is interesting to note how much my colleagues hate this about our work place and yet they don’t realise that a caring culture doesn’t have to be shown from the top down first; it can be initiated by us all and each and every one of us plays our part in creating a warm, safe, open and generous environment.

  35. When you are with someone and not distracted by who is behind them, what is happening on your phone or wanting to be somewhere else (anywhere else other than talking to this one person!!) then the other person feels it and there may as well be a wall between you. The conversation is stilted and shallow and it is no wonder there is a hankering after a connection elsewhere.

    1. I agree Lucy, when we’re being like this what we are in fact saying is ‘I’m not being me’, which in turn makes it almost impossible for others to be them. Whereas when we’re present with another we are saying ‘I am being me’, which makes it much easier for the other person to be them.

  36. Great blog. I have been staying in a small village in France where this sense of community is alive and well. We just have to bring it into our own lives so we take it wherever we travel and not leave it to pockets of life. I will be more aware of my responsibility in this now so thank you!

  37. Similarly as there is no ‘i’ in team! There is no room for individual in community. This is a common theme that is happening everywhere … shops closing down. Where years ago you would have the butchers, green grocer, baker, haberdashery, hardware store and the shops where a community now it seems many high streets or shops are coffee shops (even the same company have 2 or more shops in a town) and hairdressers. I am saying this as literally in one high street I worked in a few years ago this is all that you would see a shop closed down and then it would become a coffee shop or hairdressers which I then noticed happening everywhere else. With rent going up and more people shopping online it makes it harder for shop keepers and this is what happens when we make it about money first instead of people when it needs to be completely the other way around making it about people first then the rest will naturally flow ✨

  38. “I’m realising more every day that all our connections big or small are so valuable.” We don’t realise how enormous and life-changing a brief but open connection with another may be.

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