The Beauty in Walking and Talking Together

In some recent research I was involved in, I was surprised to find that in terms of therapy techniques, walking and talking therapy came up with quite low search numbers, whereas couples or relationship counselling, when couples sit with a counsellor, was much higher. This went against my experience of the beauty that can occur when walking and talking together to discuss matters between two people.

A while back I was at a presentation by Serge Benhayon from Universal Medicine and we were invited to participate in an activity where we were to walk with another, first hand in hand and then with our arms wrapped around each other’s back. Although walking with someone I scarcely knew and had never really spoken to, I felt very connected to the young lady beside me, as if I’d known her forever. But I can walk alongside many people during my day so what made this different? I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk. When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’ are necessary. We simply connected and walked together.

In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly. This is how my partner and I initially started dating, by going for long walks while talking with each other. During these walks, it was not just ‘small talk’ or the getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes or our views on certain topics. We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.

We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.

It has become a foundational keystone of our relationship that we regularly walk and talk together, usually hand in hand and as such, rarely (max. two times) do disagreements ever escalate into aggression or shouting. And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk. It’s the quality in which we relate to each other during our walk and the honesty and depth of the conversation that makes these moments what they are. After the walk, what may have been a heated or sensitive subject doesn’t feel the same as it did when we set off. We both feel lighter, clearer and closer to one another without all that ‘stuff’ between us.

I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body. When stationary, we can sometimes be in our minds planning what we are going to say next, or focussing on something the other person may have said. When there has been disagreement between you, it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them. If someone is caught in a rant, I will often move away from that person but invite them to join me for a walk; even if it’s only a couple of meters, the movement appears to curtail the discussion that would otherwise go around in circles.

Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere has been supported by my willingness to be present with myself, – while learning to express my feelings is making it easier be open and transparent with another. Although walking alone may provide an opportunity to focus on our personal issues, being in company with another to discuss them offers solutions to problems we may not have considered. At the same time, it is deepening our trust in each other, making our relationship much more open while there’s a feeling of settlement in the body. This is because I don’t have to be on my guard or stay protected, I can be at my ease and share myself with the other. There’s an intimacy between us that allows us to see and feel the slight changes in one another. It basically takes relationships to a whole other depth that is far richer than social niceties or politeness. All from walking and talking together.

Published with permission from my partner.

By Leigh Matson, London, UK

Related Reading:
Serge Benhayon and Walking Therapy – A profound healing experience
The simplicity of true intimacy
Seeking Connection and True Relationships

660 thoughts on “The Beauty in Walking and Talking Together

  1. Recently a friend and I had a difficult time in our relationship, we were due to meet the next day and in discussing our options my friend said that they just wanted to go for a walk with me. And in this moment, I could sense how much love and appreciation they felt for me and for our relationship. It made all the difficulty between us disappear, as all there was to do, was to walk and to re-connect with each other. Nothing else really mattered. In that moment, my friend made our relationship important and not the issues that came between us causing so much pain, they made the return to true connection and for this I felt very humbled.

    1. That’s really beautiful Shami that the relationship is based on connection to each other. As opposed to friendships being based on mutally enjoyed interests that act as the middleman for connection.

  2. I love walking and talking when there is something to be discussed with friends/colleagues etc. The walking brings a sense of lightness to the discussion, regardless of what is being discussed.

  3. People share walk all the time, but also talk incessantly and the opportunity to truly be with self and another is missed. The quality in which we walk is important: walking with presence, in connection with nature another heals.

  4. Walking in the snow slows you down I have noticed, so even more time to focus on expression and appreciate the fresh new start together if you are walking with another.

  5. There is something so intrinsically different about sitting and talking an issue through with someone and “walking and talking” about what has come up between us. Maybe through the movement of walking, which brings a flow and fluidity throughout the whole body, the issue is not able to be held on to so tightly as when we are seated and more rigid, and therefore we can let go of our grip on it and more open to it’s healing. Something I am feeling to ponder on further.

    1. Very cool to consider this, Ingrid, that in walking and talking, rather than sitting and talking, we are offered the opportunity to loosen up our control, need to be right, fixed opinions etc and can be much more open and developmental in our conversations.

  6. ‘We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.’ – This is important to know, most people seem to live from an understanding that what they do only affects themselves, I know in the past that certainly was my own view of it.

    1. Aye, sometimes we can live as if we are in a black hole, separate from everyone else but thats a lie. We do affect everyone around us with what’s going on internally.

  7. The beauty of walking and talking with another and others in flowing movements is very dear to my heart, loving this as part of my life and my deep appreciation of this is confirmed here lovingly.

  8. It is beautiful that when we have a true experience of something, like you with walking and talking together, that whatever everybody else is doing or whatever the newest research is saying, we know what is true in our bodies and what works and what doesn’t work.

  9. Being open in our relationships with everyone is a sure way to break down and through all the games, hurts, patterns and beliefs we have adopted to protect ourselves from past hurts… every moment is an opportunity for a fresh start, ours to maximise.

  10. Our way of staying stuck in the chair, of grilling another without a care, shows the power of movements in our lives. For as soon as we get up and out of the fixed position we’re in energy can change, move and transmute. This is great wisdom to live by Leigh – thank you for inspiring me.

  11. I have a very dear friend who lives across the other side of the world and we stay in regular contact, I cannot walk with them, but I know I am held in the most precious loving energy and I know it’s the same loving energy that I missed as a child. They are my inspiration because deep within me I’m starting to feel that I have the same love for myself, have I just been depriving myself of this birthright for some reason?

    1. Sometimes I go for a walk with a person while on the phone to them. Or in general if on the phone to another I often walk around the room in circles. I find the conversation is less sticky when I do this and we can move together regardless of the distance.

      1. I love this Leigh. I was walking while on the phone to a friend recently and we had the most lovely and purposeful conversation. And although I dont walk around the room when Im at home talking to someone I do find myself moving around quite a lot as now you come to mention it, Ive realised it does keep the conversation flowing more harmoniously because I am moving and can feel things shifiting in me.

      2. I often do the same, I find it has a lightening affect on the conversation and brings more clarity.

  12. It’s not just walking and talking that is the key to experiencing this amazing ease and deepening you describe Leigh, but most crucially the way we walk and move together which must be with openness and no protection for there to be none or very little in the conversation.

  13. It’s interesting that the movement of our feet, allows our mouths to express. This is all about connective tissue in our bodies that connects everything in our body, and our expression connects us with everyone.

  14. The simplicity of walking together with another is very joyful allowing one another to connect more deeply with the movement of our bodes and the flow of the universe and is very expansive and confirming of the love we are .

  15. ‘ In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly. ‘ Yes , Leigh . walking and sharing together is a beautiful confirmation of our developing brotherhood.

  16. ” And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk. ”
    The great thing about this is the desire for truth and truth resolves everything.

    1. Truth does resolve everything, the moment I catch myself saying that does not matter or it will be ok I know I am settling for less than the love that I am. I then walk away feeling a sense of unresolved expression rather than if I had done what I felt to do, the moment would have completed and I would be fully free to move onto the next moment.

  17. Having just attended a walking therapies session with Serge Benhayon I appreciate at a new level the power in every step, because we have the potential to move in a way that is aligned with the soul. Walking together with another can therefore be a very evolving experience.

    1. I loved this too, Janet and with the understanding that if we remain connected to ourselves and the other feels a little down, by the very fact of walking in connection to self will allow the other the opportunity to come up and be themselves also.

      1. To appreciate quite how powerful we are without any words needed just by claiming our movements is worth considering and contemplating. So often we can think we need to find the right words but these can just complicate what is before us whereas when we simply make it about energy and quality then everything else gets taken care of.

  18. ‘But I can walk alongside many people during my day so what made this different? I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk.’ – I love what you have shared here and the simplicity of why it was different. There’s no magic formula, simply an intention to connect and be open i.e. let the other person in. In our day to day life we are often busy protecting ourselves and keeping people out rather than letting them in.

  19. When we walk and talk together we feel the unifying harmony of brotherhood – something we innately know, which brings us great joy.

  20. The quality of our walk is the quality we rest, move and express in our day, when that’s a loving way the walk is a healing activity.

  21. Walking and talking is such a great way to move through things that are coming up or have come up. I find it all too easy to get entrenched in conversations when sat around which can easily go around in circles yet somehow when walking what comes up seems to get cleared much more quickly without the repetitive way it could easily have done without the assistance of the walking.

  22. Walking with someone offers loads! Space to talk about great things, space to talk about things between the two, space to talk about the world, and space to just walk together. Its a fantastic way to be together.

  23. It is pretty cool actually to feel how quickly things can shift when one walks and talks with another and allows things to shift as compared to sitting down and talking about things. With the walking there is a definite shift that happens faster, as if it is harder to hold onto negative thoughts or say negative things, and instead there is a freeing up that happens and what might have appeared like a mountain, now seems like a small hill. Amazing and simple magic.

    1. Grudges or negative emotions want us to believe they are heavy and hard to remove but really they aren’t. I was in a funk the other day and my flat mate encouraged me to blow a raspberry-instantly I lightened up and laughed at the silliness.

  24. This is spot on Leigh – “I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body. When stationary, we can sometimes be in our minds planning what we are going to say next, or focussing on something the other person may have said.” – walking moves the body and in the movement it is harder to hold onto things that are not true or that do not come from the full body response.

  25. I realise that as I child when I used to walk to school I always used to walk with someone, and before I had a school friend to walk with I had walked with an awareness of my own connection to something greater, Divinity itself you might say. When you walk with your heart you are always walking and talking together on some level.

  26. It is interesting how in many latin and European countries there is a tradition of walking the town square after a meal or occasion. Where all parts of the community congregate and walk. We may miss this opportunity in our local neighbourhoods where we our retreat inside our house at night.

  27. We often know to walk something off, to take some time and let the movement of walking help us working things out. I know for me a walk is a great time to think things over and work things out and the same goes for talking with people – it doesn’t even need to be about working through an issue, going for a walk is a great opportunity to catch up and reconnect.

  28. The practicality of walking and talking makes complete sense. The movement of our body allows for any issue we are holding to move as we walk. We literally cannot remain the same or hold onto the same stance.

  29. Walking is a beautiful way to connect. When we choose to be with the other and simply walk with ourselves by the side of another, it’s rather lovely.

  30. When we have the opportunity to move together, that what we are offered is togetherness. So often we move in our separate ways next to each other. Moving together offers a great healing.

  31. Walking in connection can indeed be a deeply profound healing experience. There are many a time when I have felt disconnected either with myself or with another and then by choosing to walk I have been able to come back to me, my connection with my body and to those around me. The movement of walking offers space in the body to let go of a held tension – it really is so simple.

    1. And so it is the same when we walk with another, our walking movements allow any tension between us to be let go of too.

  32. There is a grace that comes when we walk and talk together… the key being together rather than as two separate individuals going the same way.

  33. I love walking and talking as there is a lightness about it, and from my experience when there is something weighing heavy on me it makes it easier to go for a walk and to talk it through.

  34. This is really beautiful Leigh, thank you. A great reminder of how important connection is, first to ourselves and our bodies and then to each other. And how really there are no issues that can’t be resolved if we have the willingness to go there. And just how simple and effective (and underrated!) walking, moving and talking (expressing) can be to release the mental energy that we so often get stuck in. And we can choose this in any moment throughout our day.

  35. It is an interesting point that when we keep gently moving it helps us to stay with our bodies and not go up into our heads – even just to feel our ribs moving gently as we breathe can help with that if we are in a situation where we can’t move around much. I love having a morning cuddle you might say with myself in bed before I get up where I can feel the gentleness of my breath and the tiny movements of my ribs.

  36. Walking with people is one of my favourite ways to talk, connect and share. I find the conversation doesn’t get stuck, as it keeps growing and doesn’t get into right or wrong so easily. I get to enjoy feeling my body moving and staying with me while I connect with the other person/people and the greater world around us. It seems the presence, ease and fluidity of my/our movements sets the tone for the fluidity of conversation and connection.

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