The Beauty in Walking and Talking Together

In some recent research I was involved in, I was surprised to find that in terms of therapy techniques, walking and talking therapy came up with quite low search numbers, whereas couples or relationship counselling, when couples sit with a counsellor, was much higher. This went against my experience of the beauty that can occur when walking and talking together to discuss matters between two people.

A while back I was at a presentation by Serge Benhayon from Universal Medicine and we were invited to participate in an activity where we were to walk with another, first hand in hand and then with our arms wrapped around each other’s back. Although walking with someone I scarcely knew and had never really spoken to, I felt very connected to the young lady beside me, as if I’d known her forever. But I can walk alongside many people during my day so what made this different? I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk. When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’ are necessary. We simply connected and walked together.

In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly. This is how my partner and I initially started dating, by going for long walks while talking with each other. During these walks, it was not just ‘small talk’ or the getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes or our views on certain topics. We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.

We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.

It has become a foundational keystone of our relationship that we regularly walk and talk together, usually hand in hand and as such, rarely (max. two times) do disagreements ever escalate into aggression or shouting. And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk. It’s the quality in which we relate to each other during our walk and the honesty and depth of the conversation that makes these moments what they are. After the walk, what may have been a heated or sensitive subject doesn’t feel the same as it did when we set off. We both feel lighter, clearer and closer to one another without all that ‘stuff’ between us.

I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body. When stationary, we can sometimes be in our minds planning what we are going to say next, or focussing on something the other person may have said. When there has been disagreement between you, it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them. If someone is caught in a rant, I will often move away from that person but invite them to join me for a walk; even if it’s only a couple of meters, the movement appears to curtail the discussion that would otherwise go around in circles.

Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere has been supported by my willingness to be present with myself, – while learning to express my feelings is making it easier be open and transparent with another. Although walking alone may provide an opportunity to focus on our personal issues, being in company with another to discuss them offers solutions to problems we may not have considered. At the same time, it is deepening our trust in each other, making our relationship much more open while there’s a feeling of settlement in the body. This is because I don’t have to be on my guard or stay protected, I can be at my ease and share myself with the other. There’s an intimacy between us that allows us to see and feel the slight changes in one another. It basically takes relationships to a whole other depth that is far richer than social niceties or politeness. All from walking and talking together.

Published with permission from my partner.

By Leigh Matson, London, UK

Related Reading:
Serge Benhayon and Walking Therapy – A profound healing experience
The simplicity of true intimacy
Seeking Connection and True Relationships

840 thoughts on “The Beauty in Walking and Talking Together

  1. It is so simple, isn’t it… Walking and talking, connecting, communicating, constellating… And yet this is the way of the universe… within simplicity we have the divine unfolding

  2. A great article Leigh, when walking and talking together energy is moving as we walk instead of a face to face discussion where the energy in those situations feels like it just goes around and around. Holding hands along the way can bring us back to the warmth of our hearts and out of our heads.

  3. Often when you are mad with someone the best thing to do is do what you really don’t want to do – like give them a hug. Again, this is making about the body and connection and bringing the fight out of the mind, which is the only place it really exists anyway.

    1. Very true the fight is in the mind and not the body. But when our mind is focused on the body theres no fight in the mind either. So then if we can have separation in the mind where is our focus? On the body, in the moment or in non physical pictures that come into our ‘headspace’?

  4. Walking and talking together can be very harm-full if we are talking in a way that is embeddening the hurt deeper into our movements. At the same time it can be extremely power-full but it all depends on our openness and willingness to drop our guard, our issues and be open to seeing truth on a deeper level.

    1. And walking and talking about surface level stuff, talking from that guard that keeps each other at a surface level of “We’ll talk about this stuff and hobbies/interested/mutual commonalities BUT I won’t let you see my sweetness or delicateness” – which is basically as you say embedding hurts but it’s not seen that way.

  5. Walking and talking with someone allows a lot more space for each other and allows each person to stay with themselves instead of becoming intensely involved in the discussion or other person. It just seems like a more natural way to talk to resolve issues or work through something that feels stuck.

  6. This is brilliant because we can hold onto things for days – if not weeks – sometimes even years. What if when conflict comes up we just need to move or walk together to help shift things? I think your point about it’s hard to stay mad at someone when you feel the warmth of their hand is also crucial – I find that whenever I am distracted or angry at someone I lose sight of the amazing person they truly are – so if I remind myself of that the anger is quite quickly dissipated.

    1. Even having gentle contact with another can settle any conflict. I had a disagreement with my Dad recently and my Mum made us sit on the same step on the stairs together. It wasn’t long before we ended up hugging each other and everything went back to our normal.

  7. Recently during the Walking Therapy Serge Benhayon is offering I got to feel the intimacy and power of walking next to someone without holding hands and it was quite amazing to feel how when you both walk connected to your body, in your authority, there is even more intimacy between the two walking next to each other than when we were holding hands.

  8. Spot on Leigh – if we keep moving we can’t get stuck in our heads, and besides God has a way of distracting our attention with a bird here, a rainbow there… perhaps a sunrise or a rainbow or just the rain on our faces. The conversation can’t help but keep flowing and not get stuck as so often is the case when going ‘head to head’

  9. Walking, talking and sharing in depth your deepest feelings is such a beautiful way to develop a relationship and a solid foundational practise to return to to keep deepening and expanding.

  10. You are spot on that the intention to connect or not makes all the difference to what happens when we walk with someone. If you see someone as a stranger, then you will fall into small talk and see them as separate from you.

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