The Beauty in Walking and Talking Together

In some recent research I was involved in, I was surprised to find that in terms of therapy techniques, walking and talking therapy came up with quite low search numbers, whereas couples or relationship counselling, when couples sit with a counsellor, was much higher. This went against my experience of the beauty that can occur when walking and talking together to discuss matters between two people.

A while back I was at a presentation by Serge Benhayon from Universal Medicine and we were invited to participate in an activity where we were to walk with another, first hand in hand and then with our arms wrapped around each other’s back. Although walking with someone I scarcely knew and had never really spoken to, I felt very connected to the young lady beside me, as if I’d known her forever. But I can walk alongside many people during my day so what made this different? I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk. When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’ are necessary. We simply connected and walked together.

In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly. This is how my partner and I initially started dating, by going for long walks while talking with each other. During these walks, it was not just ‘small talk’ or the getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes or our views on certain topics. We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.

We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.

It has become a foundational keystone of our relationship that we regularly walk and talk together, usually hand in hand and as such, rarely (max. two times) do disagreements ever escalate into aggression or shouting. And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk. It’s the quality in which we relate to each other during our walk and the honesty and depth of the conversation that makes these moments what they are. After the walk, what may have been a heated or sensitive subject doesn’t feel the same as it did when we set off. We both feel lighter, clearer and closer to one another without all that ‘stuff’ between us.

I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body. When stationary, we can sometimes be in our minds planning what we are going to say next, or focussing on something the other person may have said. When there has been disagreement between you, it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them. If someone is caught in a rant, I will often move away from that person but invite them to join me for a walk; even if it’s only a couple of meters, the movement appears to curtail the discussion that would otherwise go around in circles.

Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere has been supported by my willingness to be present with myself, – while learning to express my feelings is making it easier be open and transparent with another. Although walking alone may provide an opportunity to focus on our personal issues, being in company with another to discuss them offers solutions to problems we may not have considered. At the same time, it is deepening our trust in each other, making our relationship much more open while there’s a feeling of settlement in the body. This is because I don’t have to be on my guard or stay protected, I can be at my ease and share myself with the other. There’s an intimacy between us that allows us to see and feel the slight changes in one another. It basically takes relationships to a whole other depth that is far richer than social niceties or politeness. All from walking and talking together.

Published with permission from my partner.

By Leigh Matson, London, UK

Related Reading:
Serge Benhayon and Walking Therapy – A profound healing experience
The simplicity of true intimacy
Seeking Connection and True Relationships

781 thoughts on “The Beauty in Walking and Talking Together

  1. When the intention is to be open with another then we allow the magic of God to be there with us. Most of us have disconnected from God and so therefore have disconnected to the magic that it all around us, just waiting for us all to reconnect.

  2. As you say Leigh, often we sit and discuss to work things out, but to walk with another, with the intention to simply be open and connect, this in itself begins to break down the barriers between the two and the protection shields many of us live in to protect our hurts and from being hurt. Yet walking with another like this is very holding and naturally loving. So we can come out with another so to speak. Beautiful sharing in the beauty of walking and talking, makes a lot of sense.

  3. ‘It’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.’ The beauty of this blog is apparent – to walk together with our loved ones is a tool for true health and well being.

  4. The intention to be open and connect is so very crucial to the quality of the outcome in whatever we do even in work. What we may end up doing may be the same but the quality is completely contrasting.

    1. True and even when we do the same thing day in and day out, seemingly monotonous it’s not when our quality and intention is brought to the fore of our attention.

  5. We can not live insular. We need to connect and evolve and this goes not just by staying individual but actually by letting yourself out and letting others in your heart.

  6. Things that seem really difficult can be addressed very easily when we go for a walk with another, so long as we stay connected with ourselves and walk our essence and not our problem.

    1. We even have sayings such as “walk it off” in the English language that hints to that our ‘stuff’ can be walked away from. In connection to our essence we transmute it and it falls away, in disconnection we bury it for it to return later on.

  7. Having experienced some Walking Therapy sessions with Serge Benhayon I am much more aware now of the way that I walk so that when I go for walks with others I can bring more presence, purpose and harmony to our time together..

  8. We have many movements to stop abuse or political decisions we don’t like, but have never had one that proposed that the way we move is where all our attention belongs. Until Universal Medicine came along…

    1. Many movements but what is the quality behind them? The quality of each persons movements in that bigger group/movement. That’s another thing Universal Medicine has brought into the picture.

  9. This is so true – palm to palm is like walking heart to heart with an openess and beautiful rhythm of simply sharing and walking together – this is deeply healing.
    “it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them”.

  10. It is huge to realize that every step matters. The quality in which we make our steps is what gets through our body. So the question we can ask ourselves is if we make our steps in love. Do we connect with the universe through our body?

  11. I love my morning walks with my husband – this is our time to debrief, to talk about our plans, to discuss how we are feeling, the dreams we had in the night and what they might mean for us… So much to explore and so much to appreciate. And then there are those times we just walk in silence enjoying the sound of our feet on the ground, the warmth of the hand held tenderly, a knowing that we walk the path of life and are here to support each other, and work together.

  12. Walking can be very powerful in shifting energy and disagreements. It is such a simple and straightforwards way to really let go and allow honesty and then truth to unfold.

    1. Recently our walking talks had been dropped and much tension came between us. Soon as we went for a walk and talk together all that tension vanished. It’s so important in any relationship to maintain what works to bring honestly and clarity.

  13. I love this Leigh and I love walking, there is something so powerful when two people walk strong and connected to who they are. Walking can be so super healing for not just us but for our environment and all those around us.

    1. There is a huge difference once felt in walking connected to another or ourselves vs in a bubble with headphones on or screen surfing. It does stand out and that is needed in the world.

  14. ‘The difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body.’ That is so true, just by the experience itself. By sitting the possibility to check-out and go into thought i.e.planning, daydreaming is huge. Whilst walking, there is this whole coordination of feet, legs, arms etc. going on. There is litterally no space to go into our head, but it requires to stay in our whole body. And just by that movement what ever is expressed, will come from the body. Great blog with a huge invitation for us all to walk more together!

    1. We may already walk with people in our lives but how many times do we actually walk WITH them? not walking with our thoughts of “gotta do this… when I get there I’ll…I wish they didn’t do…..” etc.

  15. Walking and talking strikes me as a beautiful thing to do on a date because there is nothing more beautiful than opening up to someone and sharing ourselves.

    1. We weren’t distracted (although tried) by the activities that ‘should happen’ on dates (restaurants, parties, movies etc) but instead spent time with each other.

  16. Walking is a great way to come back to a quality of presence after lots of mental stimulation. I find it really rebalancing, so to be able to walk and talk with other is a great way to either deepen a connection with another, or solve any problems and issues.

  17. In my experience, when you are already at loggerheads and can’t see eye to eye, sitting and talking doesn’t really work. It feels stuck and like hard work in my body. Whereas when I walk with someone, I stay more present with me than the issue. I allow myself and the other person space to speak and I don’t feel so attached to resolving it. Somehow in the space I can feel it will be resolved without me needing to try or become intense about it.

    1. It’s like when we are attached to the issue being solved we get in the way of allowing space for the issue to dissipate on its own. Like constantly keeping bandages on a wound without giving it air to breathe and heal.

  18. How often do we do this ‘Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere’ yet I can see just how important this truly is.

  19. Indeed perhaps we have devalued the importance of the quality of our movements and especially those movements made in a quality of openness and tenderness.

  20. From ancient days on, walking has been known to be incredibly beneficial for humanity… Here is just another aspect of this extraordinary process that is part of our everyday life.

  21. There is something about walking and talking – it brings things beyond just the head and the mind and allows a space for very different and often expansive communication.

  22. I too attended a similar presentation with Serge Benhayon, and walking hand in hand then with arms around someone I hardly knew, was the most profound experience. It didn’t take too long to feel an intimate connection with them; in fact it felt like we had known each other for ever. The conversation was so easy, there was no holding back by either of us and both of us wanted to keep walking even when it was time to stop. This was one huge and incredibly valuable life lesson that I have not forgotten and have brought into my everyday life.

  23. Great point about intention and how this sets the tone for whatever activity comes next: when we make whatever we’re doing about connection, and openness – i.e. staying connected and open ourselves, without any demands on others to reciprocate, so often it opens the way for others to be that way with us, naturally so. Not needing others to be a certain way for us allows space for true, real connection with others – and not the emotional nicey-nice substitute we sometimes crave if we’re not being honest and connected to ourselves, first.

  24. What a lovely way to start dating and to get to know each other, simply by walking together and sharing feelings. It’s like bringing dating back to basics, avoiding the distractions in pubs and clubs, the normal go to places, and just being real with each other from the start which then creates a solid foundation for your relationship. Inspiring Leigh!

  25. Walking does engage the body and when walking with another particularly when there is body contact holds me steady, connected and aware of what is true as it unfolds. In the past the weight of being told that we must be looking someone in the eye when we speak for anything that is said to carry any weight has been and is proven to be untrue. Walking and talking with the focus on connecting is a very beautiful activity to be involved in.

  26. I saw someone having a walk with one of their team members the other day. They have started ‘walking meetings’ and when I watched them walking, it was great to see how by their movements they were very easily engaging with one another and brought a purpose to their walk – not just going from A to B. Of course – the meeting went really well and I had to appreciate the huge support that comes with this – it was truly a relationship development point.

    1. Thats cool and it makes such a difference when the focus is on us rather than ‘over there’ at B the quality is completely different from focusing on B.

  27. ‘In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly.’ I agree whole heartedly with this and have experienced this for myself. It is a way of deepening our relationship with anyone we care to go for a walk with.

  28. I have also shared some beautiful walking, talking experiences, especially out walking in the forest or in the beautiful nature our planet has to offer. It puts you in a relaxed state to be able to let the conversation flow.

  29. The greatest beauty in this world is walking and talking with you. So often we engage in life without checking in if all of us is participating or withdrawing. Rather than bringing just bits of us to life let’s connect with our body and our love – then we know whatever we do, it will be beautiful and true.

  30. When we walk with another we fall into a natural rhythm with each other, and there is a feeling of oneness, and as we talk and walk we cannot help but support each other during the conversation because we are literally walking as one.

  31. I am with you on this. So much better to communicate and express with one’s partner than to seek outside help. Sure if you can’t communicate and express, then get professional help to help you do so, but the answers will surely lie in the communication and expression rather than in anything the councillor has to say. And there is no better way than to walk together and talk.

  32. Leigh, I love what you have shared here – “it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.” … and I agree, to hold someone’s hand certainly supports in bringing you back instantly to your natural tender self.

  33. Walking can certainly be a beautiful therapy – when done in presence and joy, it can be very powerful in reminding us of the beauty that lies within us and which comes out so easily with no impositions. Walking can be a very healing therapy too when done with an awareness of the challenges one is currently facing, and so with each step we ‘step into’ our own strengths whilst exploring what is seemingly weighing us down. However, if we do not walk with this awareness and walk with the heaviness and the problems then the walking can make our body more heavy and this does not support. So with simple awareness, we can transform a simple walk into something far more powerful and healing than we ever realised was possible!

    1. Absolutley Henrietta. And when we walk alongside someone in this way it also inspires them to join us in that same walk and so the union of the two of us together become super powerful and deeply healing.

    2. I totally agree Henrietta, walking can be a very healing therapy when done with intention, however if we walk in heaviness, anger or any negative energy we are just reinforcing this with every footstep taken, so for walking to truly support us, it must be done with awareness.

    3. Without awareness I never really maximised the great benefits of walking apart from feeling good being in the fresh air and exercising. With awareness the support and healing that can come from walking is fantastic.

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