Seeking Connection and True Relationships

by Dr Rachel Hall, Holistic Dentist, Kenmore, Brisbane

We live today in the most populated world in history, yet more people than ever feel lonely, detached and separated from society… and even from themselves. How can we, in the midst of all the people we meet every day, sometimes feel so alone?

We frequently live in a way where we see ourselves as separate from others, from nature and from Divinity itself. This sense of separation seems to be an essential part of being human, part of our individuality and personal identity. Yet it is our sense of separation that can cause suffering, especially when we view everything around us as ‘things’ that appear unconnected to us.

It is as if we live in our own personal, separate bubbles designed to preserve our individuality and keep the world at bay. When we view the world as external to us, it is all too easy to forget the wholeness of life.

Most of us recognise that we are physically separate from other people and naturally assume we are also spiritually, psychologically and energetically separate. This gives the illusion that we are our body and that everything beyond that is not a part of us.

But is this really how it is?

If you spend time with a newborn baby it’s hard not to notice the love they radiate, unmeasured and equally shared.

We were all once like this baby; full of love – trusting, open and connected to everyone we met equally.

What changed this for so many of us?

It is as if when growing up the hardships of life, the broken hearts and the disappointments we encounter gradually force us to enclose our love, tenderness and feelings under a thick layer of toughness, defensiveness and/or aloofness.

These ‘coping strategies’ appears to protect the hurt we are feeling – however, at what cost? To deny our vulnerability locks our heart, shutting out our love and the love of others.

Once we commence to shut down we diminish the capacity to rely on our inner feelings, we stop trusting and with that, lose the ability to connect fully with others.
As we withdraw and shut down, our emotional exchanges – our ability to be in touch with our own feelings – become more and more limited; leading to a catch-22 situation where we measure our love, giving more love to those we feel won’t hurt us and less to those we aren’t as comfortable with or as certain of.

It is ironic that by trying to protect ourselves we cut off from others and that this choice ultimately produces our deepest sense of separation, the separation to self. And thus we create for ourselves the illusion that we live disconnected from others, our self, God and our essential nature – Love.

Through the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom presented by Universal Medicine, many people, myself included, have experienced a deeper sense of connection to themselves and other people. Little by little, I have been able to let go of the ‘protective’ layer of toughness and start trusting my own inner feelings. In this way I share my love more equally and I feel connected to myself, others, Divinity and my essential nature, which I know to be love. I know there is a oneness to life and that I am not actually separate at all as I can feel my connection to everything in my heart.

In a world where so many are seeking connection and true relationships, I have learnt that this must come first, from me choosing to connect to me with a willingness to let my love out and the love of others in.

1,171 thoughts on “Seeking Connection and True Relationships

  1. Human life doesn’t value love, not the real essence of love that we all equally are, nor our sensitivity or fragility. Based on how human life currently is I can see why people have closed down to their own love to the point of not remembering it exists, and are unwilling or feel unable to let love in or out. As someone working through everything expressed in this blog I can understand the many hurts people hold including their own for separating from the love within, and how hard it seems at times to reconnect, even though the love inside of ourselves is untainted and untouched by life. That to me is why we need the reflections of those who have made their way back and can show how possible it is to be love again, and that it’s still there for everyone of us equally to live the love that we are in a world where so few are doing this.

  2. What I can feel is how these coping strategies ultimately backfire on us, cementing us further in that moment of hurt and its imprint. When we think we are protecting ourselves and/or retaliating against the world, we don’t realise it is ourselves that we are doing that to.

  3. As we openly discussed the other night at dinner God is our father, True Father and the stars are our mother, True Mother and we can deepen our relationship with both to become a deeply loving Soul on this plan of existence.

  4. I have also found through the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom presented by Universal Medicine,
    a sense of connection to myself and that actually we all matter to each other. There is an energy that binds us together and it is together we will eventually leave this plane of life.

  5. “. . . me choosing to connect to me with a willingness to let my love out and the love of others in.” We love and let love in with our first breath on earth but then we chose to stop to love. It is so good to get a reminder that we can choose in every second of our life to love again!

  6. The grand daddy purpose of life – “me choosing to connect to me with a willingness to let my love out and the love of others in.”

  7. Do we keep the world at bay from a sense of being hurt by it? And so we build ourselves a fortress and lock ourselves away and in doing so we detach ourselves from each other and the world. This would seem to imply that there is also lack of trust between us all.

    1. When we lose our connection to our inner knowing then we lose trust in our ability to feel what is true for us, and if we don’t trust ourselves how can we trust others.

  8. I am sharing my life with a young child and it is absolutely glorious because this child is being brought up firstly to know they are beautiful just as they are. This allows them to remain connected to themselves and the love that is within them. And they share this love openly with all others. If we were to honour all children in this way so that as they grow up they maintain a steady connection with themselves we would be living in a completely different society. It is to our detriment that we crush this love that flows through them so that by the time they reach the age of 9-10 they have switched off this flow of love and joy.

    1. Agreed Mary it is absolutely to our detriment that we do not nurture and cherish all children as they should be confirmed and cherished in their true loveliness of who they are. Something we definitely need to turn around and change and something that we should not have to think about in doing.

    2. If this change was introduced to the way that every child was parented the majority of our problems on earth would be eradicated. We really need books written on how to parent your child to be the love they are, and that also would include supporting the parents to live their own love – and both are completely possible and natural to us if we were to give it a go with support.

  9. We learn that we have to harden and toughen up to be in this world, but this is not true. If we all brought our tenderness to everything we do the world would become a very different place.

  10. “We were all once like this baby; full of love – trusting, open and connected to everyone we met equally.” and as we grow up we start to see that this is not how the world is, and so we learn coping strategies to get by in life and begin to separate first from ourselves and then from everyone and we no longer feel the connection we once had as a child.

  11. I have been looking at how I go into protection. All I am doing is protecting myself from feeling hurt, however, in this I am shutting myself off from people who are also protecting themselves from being hurt. So we are all walking around with these imaginary (but real) brick fortresses, which all they do is result in more isolation and pain. Taking them down, allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and letting people in is the way to remove these walls. This also supports others to do the same.

  12. I agree Rachel that the way we live life currently is so abusive towards each other that we feel we have to toughen up and grow a hide like a Rhino in order to cope with life. So that the tender and precious feelings we had as a baby have no place in life.

  13. It is ridiculous that we can feel lonely in a world that has more than 7 billion of us, but then it is not the quantity that counts, but how we are with our self, and how loving and caring we are that determines the quality we live in, and with, and thus also with each other that brings us truly alive.

  14. I have learnt for myself, with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, that when we are disconnected from ourselves we are disconnected to all others, and in this disconnection we harm not only ourselves but everyone around us. Imagine what life would look like if we all were taught this basic way of living at primary school or at home with our families.

  15. I find it odd, but agree that it is true, that there seems to be an essential part of being human which means to separate from divinity. With very little in this world that supports and respects our divinity – not the divinity of an acclaimed person, place or thing – but us, innately, deeply, and most sacredly. For, if we, us humans, are not the ones who are divine, then how could we know that divinity actually exists?

  16. “We were all once like this baby; full of love – trusting, open and connected to everyone we met equally.” We have much to learn from our relationship with a new born baby.

  17. We “assume we are also spiritually, psychologically and energetically separate.” and yet we can be “on the same wavelength” with another and if there’s an emotional outburst of sorts, if we weren’t connected by anything, couldn’t one person explode and no one would get affected. Thing is we live in a medium whereby we feel another’s explosions/emotions/expressions like we pick up on second-hand smoke. There’s an energetic medium we live within and are all connected to each other by.

  18. So true – we live in a very crowded society yet many are feeling so lonely and unable to connect with others. And in our desperation, we seek to own and control what’s out there. The world remains a lonely place when we stay disconnected from ourselves.

  19. I have a newborn and a 2yr old and it is incredible to see the difference in them. Our newborn is so open and observant – our 2yr old has started to have tantrums and test people. She is gorgeous and very much herself but we can also tell when she behaves in a way that is not her and it is our responsibility to call this out.

  20. The moment that we re-connect with ourselves life opens up again and becomes very joyful, the opposite of the struggle involved when we are disconnected.

  21. Beautiful Rachel and also simple, but not always easy. The feeling to be connected again with ourselves, with God, with other people is something we all have once we enter life but cover-up by layers of protection. But it is always there, it remains untouched.

  22. Accepting more love in you will automatically connect you more to the All. As it is the fuel of our being which is in everyone innately the same. I do walk recently in allowing more love in my body- it is a beautiful permission you can give yourself.

  23. Choosing protection does the absolute opposite of what is trying to be achieved but when you’re caught in the hurt it seems the best option, to return to the surrendered and loving self is what truly supports.

  24. I have tangibly felt this a few times in my life .. how we are all one and got this again driving to work the other day. It is like we may see, think or feel that we are separate going about our individual way and day but actually we cannot ever escape the truth that there is in truth no separation we just, for whatever reasons (hurts etc) try and make it this way. I am genuinely looking forward to the day when humanity starts to truly realise and embrace this .. the fact that we are all one ✨

  25. The problem I have found with being selective about who to give your love to, that is, choosing those who you decide will not hurt you, is that even those who you have chosen are also learning through life and making mistakes. Which means that they too will, at some point cause harm and hurt. This is then all the more devastating if they have been ‘chosen’ as the one who is safe, the one will not ever hurt or harm. And so ensues the dramatic unfolding of fear-full exchanges, as we try to re-establish a safe ground with each other once again. Whereas, if love is given freely, with out need for return, expectation or condition. When love is a beholding quality of movement, of emanation, of understanding and intent, then everyone is given the space to learn and to grow, and relationships can be enriching – no matter the mistakes that we all make.

    1. I love this Shami you have shed some light on a way of being that I subscribe to of choosing people to love and when they do hurt me it totally reinforces the reasons I hold onto protection! Such a set up!

  26. Reading your blog I know you are speaking from experience, something that you have lived and now on the other side of this have a deeper understanding. You know it inside out and upside down which is pretty cool. Over the last few days my lungs have been telling me that even though I do not feel lonely or consider myself to be separate just how much I have been living not in true connection with what I know within. It feels like a blessing to have this awareness as now I can start to truly heal this and re-connect to a part of me deep within.

  27. It is such a truism, and yet it stands the test of time… We must connect with ourselves first, and this then becomes the foundation for all true relationships

  28. To me this is just one of the many lies that we as a society have fallen for
    “It is ironic that by trying to protect ourselves we cut off from others and that this choice ultimately produces our deepest sense of separation, the separation to self. And thus we create for ourselves the illusion that we live disconnected from others, our self, God and our essential nature – Love.”
    Until I met Serge Benhayon I had no idea just how much I had disengaged with life and just how little I knew about it and what is really going on. I never felt to question or discern the inconsistencies of our society.

  29. It is only through the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom presented by Universal Medicine, that I have experienced a deeper connection to myself I had no idea of the layers of sensitivity that lay under the exterior hardness I put out to the world in self protection. And when I feel connected to myself I feel the connection to others.

  30. When we shut ourselves out I feel we automatically shut everyone else out. And we can see this playing out in our society today as most people lead a protected life only looking after themselves, with no care about others or the rest of the world.

  31. It is somewhat ironic that in seemingly trying to protect ourselves we actually withdraw from the one thing that truly protects us, our innate connection with love.

  32. I am just trying to picture with the vast amount of people on earth now: if we were to all step out of our little bubble and open up to ourselves and each other, we would be one big bubble of love. I know it sounds simple and still lots of small bubbles to go, but… it shows the absurdity of how we live now ‘separatively together’.

  33. Our protective guards that we have all erected around ourselves like a fort to prevent us being hurt. But, they also stop the free movement of love in and out…. after all, what could be more hurtful than holding back the love we feel for others or holding out the love they feel for us.

  34. The moment you cut yourself off in hiding of who you are, no one will ever get the chance to come close to you. You gotta first let yourself out again, so you can let other people be close to you. This will eventually help you to get out of your self created prison.

  35. ‘To deny our vulnerability locks our heart, shutting out our love and the love of others.’ Often people think about vulnerabilty as a weakness and judge it as wrong and deny how feeling vulnerable is actually very powerful and is making us aware of our divine origin, the precious and delicate beings we are, men and women equally.

  36. When we are disconnected we in truth are walking around blind. When we re-connect we can see what is going on in the world.

    1. When we are disconnected we in fact seek the outside for any reference to feel secure. When in connection we are held and we don´t look out but receive what is going on.

  37. Everyone knows connection and everyone’s seeking it to some level, just in the wrong place. I know that when I start to seek connection with others there’s a high possibility that I have abandoned my connection to myself, and this needs to be dealt with first.

    1. I realised the more I am connected with myself, the less physical connection I need to others. It is beautiful to be with others as a person, but only if there is a purpose to actually connect in this way. Other than that, I feel the connection between other people – without even speaking.

      1. Yeh that’s a great point, and we have so much more to offer another person if we are not seeking or needing anything from them.

  38. Love must come from ourselves first, developing this relationship by connecting to our inner heart and developing a trust in what our body is offering, then we can have loving connection with others.

  39. “It is ironic that by trying to protect ourselves we cut off from others and that this choice ultimately produces our deepest sense of separation, the separation to self.”

    This IS what we miss the most, ourselves. Our gorgeous, precious, loving selves. I know I do when I go into protection, and I need to separate to avoid the hurt of missing myself. It is crazy town.

  40. It is hard to imagine that we are all connected by energy and that our perceived separation is but an illusion, but this is a fact that we will more and more come to accept the truth of, and indeed we must if we are to evolve.

  41. It is indeed a beautiful process which you can only appreciate and see how it is working when you are living it yourself: by working on being more connected to yourself, you get automatically more connected to other people. It seems like a paradox, but that is the way it works.

  42. When we deny our love and our connection with each other it is totally devastating, therefore anything that disconnects us needs to be addressed.

  43. We all have access to an unlimited wisdom through our own bodies and we are trained that our minds have the key to everything, so our whole education system is a sham.

  44. It is a joyful thing to re-connect back with ourselves having spent years/lives disconnected from who we truly are.

    1. Absolutely a joyful thing Elizabeth and I love and appreciate the huge support Serge and Universal Medicine and all its students are offering in re-connecting to ourselves and to letting go of the protective layers that keep us in the world of creation.

    2. I recently thought by looking at some old photos: ” I wasted so much time with distraction and disconnection to myself in this life”.
      With no regret, as everything has its own timing, but appreciating even more the joy I feel now in my body, with all the steps I took in life and have chosen differently through the reflection of Universal Medicine .

  45. Interesting article Rachel. What is more important: the connection to ourselves and then the connection to other people or the other way around? It seems to me by first connecting to people, I expand, get over my hurts, get my self out of the way, which makes it easier to connect to me. That to me is the faster way to lead a true life which inspires others as well.

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