Seeking Connection and True Relationships

by Dr Rachel Hall, Holistic Dentist, Kenmore, Brisbane

We live today in the most populated world in history, yet more people than ever feel lonely, detached and separated from society… and even from themselves. How can we, in the midst of all the people we meet every day, sometimes feel so alone?

We frequently live in a way where we see ourselves as separate from others, from nature and from Divinity itself. This sense of separation seems to be an essential part of being human, part of our individuality and personal identity. Yet it is our sense of separation that can cause suffering, especially when we view everything around us as ‘things’ that appear unconnected to us.

It is as if we live in our own personal, separate bubbles designed to preserve our individuality and keep the world at bay. When we view the world as external to us, it is all too easy to forget the wholeness of life.

Most of us recognise that we are physically separate from other people and naturally assume we are also spiritually, psychologically and energetically separate. This gives the illusion that we are our body and that everything beyond that is not a part of us.

But is this really how it is?

If you spend time with a newborn baby it’s hard not to notice the love they radiate, unmeasured and equally shared.

We were all once like this baby; full of love – trusting, open and connected to everyone we met equally.

What changed this for so many of us?

It is as if when growing up the hardships of life, the broken hearts and the disappointments we encounter gradually force us to enclose our love, tenderness and feelings under a thick layer of toughness, defensiveness and/or aloofness.

These ‘coping strategies’ appears to protect the hurt we are feeling – however, at what cost? To deny our vulnerability locks our heart, shutting out our love and the love of others.

Once we commence to shut down we diminish the capacity to rely on our inner feelings, we stop trusting and with that, lose the ability to connect fully with others.
As we withdraw and shut down, our emotional exchanges – our ability to be in touch with our own feelings – become more and more limited; leading to a catch-22 situation where we measure our love, giving more love to those we feel won’t hurt us and less to those we aren’t as comfortable with or as certain of.

It is ironic that by trying to protect ourselves we cut off from others and that this choice ultimately produces our deepest sense of separation, the separation to self. And thus we create for ourselves the illusion that we live disconnected from others, our self, God and our essential nature – Love.

Through the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom presented by Universal Medicine, many people, myself included, have experienced a deeper sense of connection to themselves and other people. Little by little, I have been able to let go of the ‘protective’ layer of toughness and start trusting my own inner feelings. In this way I share my love more equally and I feel connected to myself, others, Divinity and my essential nature, which I know to be love. I know there is a oneness to life and that I am not actually separate at all as I can feel my connection to everything in my heart.

In a world where so many are seeking connection and true relationships, I have learnt that this must come first, from me choosing to connect to me with a willingness to let my love out and the love of others in.

1,057 thoughts on “Seeking Connection and True Relationships

  1. Thank you Rachel, connection to ourselves and to all we come from is the foundation for our true connection to everyone else. This line is so true, that the process of life’s hardships can cause us “to enclose our love, tenderness and feelings under a thick layer of toughness, defensiveness and/or aloofness.” We do so many things to pretend we are not the sensitive, open, tender, and loving beings we naturally are.

  2. I know this only too well, in trying to protect myself from getting hurt, I actually hurt myself by cutting myself off from others and not being able to trust myself and then all others – hence life was one long struggle. But I am learning every day to share more of myself which builds on my self-trust and self-love.

  3. I read recently that ‘social isolation’ is cited as being one of the leading current causes of illness and dis-ease, which I can completely understand from the perspective that I feel it is innate in us to work together, deeply respect one another and live in a way that unites us all and so to not activate these qualities in our life, to isolate ourselves must create an unsettlement or dis-ease in our body… And even though we may be in touch with lots of people, be vocal or ‘sociable’ if we’re not truly expressing ourself – not truly letting others see who we are then that is a kind of isolation…

  4. Yet it is those that I feel hurt by that can bring an enormous amount of healing if I am willing to see and address the hurt within me and let go of the protection and hardness that I chose to cover and mask the hurt. There is indeed much to appreciate and welcome in those that reflect and give me opportunities to heal and assist my evolution so that I can hold a greater love in my body.

  5. Rachel knowing that for us we are naturally and innately joy and are designed to be in true connection with each other makes total sense, it shows what we are underneath seeking when we settle for far less than truthful forms of connection. But it also highlights when we say we ‘hate people’ that its not really true – what we don’t like is un-true relationships, and for most of my life that was all the types of relationships I had.

  6. There is so much truth and wisdom in this blog that I love to read it again. This line is a super reminder of how we can all live and be in life, because this is how we were born: ‘ We were all once like this baby; full of love – trusting, open and connected to everyone we met equally’.

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