The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

It was a hot summer’s evening when I settled down for another night alone on the beach. Alongside me were the few possessions I owned. I had no pillow so I would use a book. The blanket I used to cover me had seriously outlived its shelf life; having been used all summer without a wash, it was smelly, manky and uncomfortable and no matter how hard I shook it, I could not seem to get all the sand out that had matted its way in.

I had got used to this way of living and my body had hardened in expectation of what the night could bring. On this particular night, I was awoken suddenly by a homeless guy who was looking for somewhere to sleep and had seen my blanket all bunched up and, not knowing I was under there, he took it off me. I am not sure who was more shocked, him or me!

While sleeping in those conditions I never truly relaxed and, as you can imagine, my body was running on constant nervous energy, ready to go into fight or flight mode at a moment’s notice.

It was not new to me, living on the beach. I had lived under the stars in many different parts of the world, putting myself in some seriously dodgy and unsafe situations.

I was proud of the fact that, with a blanket and the warmth of a hot country, I could sleep anywhere. I was seen as the crazy adventurer by friends, a title I lived up to well.

I loved the fact that I thought I could survive anywhere, living off the land. I glorified the fact that I could get away with living on the fringes of society.

Making friends with people with similar attitudes showed me there were hundreds of people out there with the same “get out clause” as mine, all disillusioned with society, all running away in some way or another. I even teamed up with a group of guys who would meet in the middle of the night to go through the big hotel bins to see what we could find.

Over the years I have witnessed many people lose themselves in this illusion of ‘rebellion’ and ‘adventure’, and many sad, sad endings to lives that had so much potential.

What I have learned is that this kind of rebellion is nothing more than feeding the system back the very thing I was running away from. I was disillusioned with society – from the cold lovelessness that I could feel all around me, from the education system to the health care system. I wanted out, so in reaction to life, I rebelled against society, yet in doing so I actually added to everything I so detested about it. By not dealing with my issues, I gave up on life and in doing so, further compounded the idea that this society was loveless.

Thankfully, I found my way back home (literally) when I was introduced to the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon. At last I had found something that was true, something that was not about a quick fix, but a true way, a real way.

Slowly I started reintroducing responsibility back into my life and over a period of time, I let go of the hardness that I had used to protect my body.

My many nights of living outside had taken their toll on my body. I had built a defensive layer around myself that inhibited me from getting to know the tender woman I actually am; instead the hardness in my body represented the harsh words, criticism and judgment I would subject myself to, for no matter how far I ran or whatever escape method I used, I could not shake the undeniable feeling that all was not right.

Today my life is so different. I really look after myself and enjoy the loving security of a real home. I have a full time job, which I love, a beautiful evolving relationship with my partner, amazing friends around me and, of course, a commitment to life that was not there before.

Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.

Every day I appreciate what has been shown to me by Serge Benhayon and Sara Williams, for it was their light that shone brightly in dark times.

By Anonymous

Related Reading:
Commitment to Self – Commitment to Life
The Ultimate Commitment to Life!
Taking Responsibility and Making a Re-Commitment to Life

1,272 thoughts on “The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

  1. How Truth turns on a light in us that seems to transcend all boundaries and leads us to discover our essences and the feeling of being home and at one with God as this blog has so simply shared.

  2. “I wanted out, so in reaction to life, I rebelled against society, yet in doing so I actually added to everything I so detested about it. By not dealing with my issues, I gave up on life and in doing so, further compounded the idea that this society was loveless.”
    We get caught in the trap that we feel as an individual we cannot change anything, we are fed the thoughts to give up and what is the point so that we withdraw from life. Serge Benhayon has shown that by actively engaging in life we can make a difference, that there is a way to live that is fulfilling and actually a lot of fun.

  3. “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.” – We may not like what we feel and see in society, but it takes someone who can see how out of balance society is, to step in with love and live in a way that imposes not, but reflects the truth on a day to day basis – and this then offers the greatest healing to self and all.

  4. Being homeless is only one way of hardening ourselves to what we feel and this is effective when we do not know how to handle what we are feeling and are seeking to numb this rather than deal with it. There are a multitude of other ways too such as excessive sports, excessive study, excessive eating etc etc. And in this though I use the word ‘excessive’, it really is about any thing done to harden rather than truly support us. Essentially we all do this – we all seek on some level to escape what we are feeling when we think we don’t know how to handle it.

  5. Wow – an amazing turn around or full circle here – from rejecting life to embracing it again and knowing that it is how we are in it and what truth we bring to it that matters more than what happens in it.

  6. We all carry our crosses in life and when we wake up because we have re-connected to that which we felt we had lost, life becomes simply, and we can feel the purpose in life like we have found the end of the rainbow.

  7. It is truly amazing the different lifestyles that people have come out of with the support of Universal Medicine to reconnect to themselves and to now live a loving and caring life. It doesn’t seem to matter what the background is, trauma, addiction, abuse, rebellion, etc, we can all make our way back to ourselves and to the love within.

    1. Melinda this just shows that what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine presents actually works for anyone who is sick and tired of the lies that we are fed by all the different establishments around the world which make up the society we live in. At the core of our being we are all the same, scratch beneath the surface and we all want the same thing. That deep settlement from the nervous tension we are running with that comes when we reconnect back to our soul.

  8. ‘My many nights of living outside had taken their toll on my body. I had built a defensive layer around myself that inhibited me from getting to know the tender woman I actually am.’ We don’t need to live outside to do this to ourselves. Whilst I always had a warm roof and home comforts, I nonetheless hardened too against life and negated that tenderness in favour of function, but I had to brace myself as a consequence and made many compromises that dismissed that sensitivity more.

  9. We react to life and blame life for this, that and more. Yet it’s our expectations for life to be different that we hold onto that’s the root of the reaction. Not life.

  10. As you say anonymous there are many people who live on the fringe of society because they are disillusioned with the way we have all made society to be. It is as though there is within us a knowing that life should be, and can be different but it’s like pushing a large and heavy object up hill, the effort is not only exhausting but futile because no one seemingly wants to change their ways even though our current way of life is a complete mess. At least those people you met still had a level of sensitivity that they could feel society was amiss. Is it possible that those people who are marketing this false way of life have bought into the illusion so deeply that they will defend this way of living to their last breath?

    1. People living on the fringe of society may be able to feel that the way life is is not our truth, yet as human beings we can struggle with how to actually respond to that instead of reacting. What’s confirming is that we are all connected to the truth, we do know even if we dismiss it, bury it, deny it, or react in other ways.

      1. Totally agree with you Melinda Knights that there is a part of us that does know, we just drown it out because we don’t want to take responsibility for a rotten to the core society that we have all contributed towards.

  11. This is a great reminder that, in our reaction, we add to that which we are reacting to, and in order to justify our re-action, we have to reinforce the picture that we are saying is not right, and continue with the fight, and the more we do it, the further we come away from the truth within us that alerted us in the first place that something was amiss.

    1. Well said Fumiyo, that when we react “the further we come away from the truth within us that alerted us in the first place that something was amiss.”

    2. What if Fumiyo Egashira, life has been set up in such a way that we are goaded to react? What if in our reaction an unseen for now energy feeds off our reactions and the only way for this energy to survive is for it to keep humanity in reaction. If humanity stopped reacting there would be no astral plane it just would not be able to exist as it needs to constantly feed itself. Which is why it needs humanity to constantly react. If humanity were to grasp this science the world could change over night.

  12. Until we understand energy and vibration we all have our ways of living that check us out from the True vibration that is connected to when we are Reconnected to our Soul-full-essences. Living in the Humble-appreciative-ness of our Soul definitely is worlds apart from living life as a beach, or to any other form of illusional agenda as they all deprive us from the equality that is felt from this most divine connection, which is Soul-full-ness.

  13. Thank you for exposing the illusion of rebellion and how apparently not conforming to the norm is actually deeply self abusive. It is only when we stop running away from our hurts and are willing to commit to life that we start to heal and take responsibility for living in a way that honours ourselves and others.

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