The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

It was a hot summer’s evening when I settled down for another night alone on the beach. Alongside me were the few possessions I owned. I had no pillow so I would use a book. The blanket I used to cover me had seriously outlived its shelf life; having been used all summer without a wash, it was smelly, manky and uncomfortable and no matter how hard I shook it, I could not seem to get all the sand out that had matted its way in.

I had got used to this way of living and my body had hardened in expectation of what the night could bring. On this particular night, I was awoken suddenly by a homeless guy who was looking for somewhere to sleep and had seen my blanket all bunched up and, not knowing I was under there, he took it off me. I am not sure who was more shocked, him or me!

While sleeping in those conditions I never truly relaxed and, as you can imagine, my body was running on constant nervous energy, ready to go into fight or flight mode at a moment’s notice.

It was not new to me, living on the beach. I had lived under the stars in many different parts of the world, putting myself in some seriously dodgy and unsafe situations.

I was proud of the fact that, with a blanket and the warmth of a hot country, I could sleep anywhere. I was seen as the crazy adventurer by friends, a title I lived up to well.

I loved the fact that I thought I could survive anywhere, living off the land. I glorified the fact that I could get away with living on the fringes of society.

Making friends with people with similar attitudes showed me there were hundreds of people out there with the same “get out clause” as mine, all disillusioned with society, all running away in some way or another. I even teamed up with a group of guys who would meet in the middle of the night to go through the big hotel bins to see what we could find.

Over the years I have witnessed many people lose themselves in this illusion of ‘rebellion’ and ‘adventure’, and many sad, sad endings to lives that had so much potential.

What I have learned is that this kind of rebellion is nothing more than feeding the system back the very thing I was running away from. I was disillusioned with society – from the cold lovelessness that I could feel all around me, from the education system to the health care system. I wanted out, so in reaction to life, I rebelled against society, yet in doing so I actually added to everything I so detested about it. By not dealing with my issues, I gave up on life and in doing so, further compounded the idea that this society was loveless.

Thankfully, I found my way back home (literally) when I was introduced to the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon. At last I had found something that was true, something that was not about a quick fix, but a true way, a real way.

Slowly I started reintroducing responsibility back into my life and over a period of time, I let go of the hardness that I had used to protect my body.

My many nights of living outside had taken their toll on my body. I had built a defensive layer around myself that inhibited me from getting to know the tender woman I actually am; instead the hardness in my body represented the harsh words, criticism and judgment I would subject myself to, for no matter how far I ran or whatever escape method I used, I could not shake the undeniable feeling that all was not right.

Today my life is so different. I really look after myself and enjoy the loving security of a real home. I have a full time job, which I love, a beautiful evolving relationship with my partner, amazing friends around me and, of course, a commitment to life that was not there before.

Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.

Every day I appreciate what has been shown to me by Serge Benhayon and Sara Williams, for it was their light that shone brightly in dark times.

By Anonymous

Related Reading:
Commitment to Self – Commitment to Life
The Ultimate Commitment to Life!
Taking Responsibility and Making a Re-Commitment to Life

1,108 thoughts on “The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

  1. This highlights the absolute power of our choices, every tiny detail of them. Being caught in an illusion is a choice as is taking full responsibility for them. Each choice is only one choice away from another. The more loveless our choices they lead to more of the same. The more loving our choices that’s what becomes our norm.

  2. Due to the current setup of the world, we either get swallowed by life in a purely functional sense, striving to get by or striving for what we deem ‘success’, ever hungry for security and comfort or, we get lost in the reaction to this and go off on our own seeking shelter in which to hide and burrow ourselves away. Either way we are played to not bring the fullness of who we are to the life that we live and in so doing, it is not just us that miss out but the entire world that is then starved of the reflection of truth we each in essence are.

  3. This is a miracle- to have someone so lost and entrenched in a certain pattern turn their own lives around and heal the issues that led to those choices is inspiring. Thank you for sharing.

  4. I certainly understand the desire to escape from society, the apparent lovelessness we meet ‘out there’ and the reluctance there is for making any true connection with each other. When we do make a connection with another it feels amazing and so poses an important question – why do we seemingly avoid doing so? We avoid each others gaze, we keep ourselves to ourselves, when all the time there is the chance to connect. I met a man in the park whilst we were walking our dogs last night – it was the most natural thing in the world. We spoke of spring and the new growth on the trees and how this feels. It is very natural for sure. The world would be a very different place if we all honoured our innate call to connect with ourselves and then with each other. Perhaps I should say, the world will be a very different place when we do so.

  5. Beautifully expressed, Anonymous, of how our default reaction to what does not work is to rebel and push back against it, which in fact only perpetuates and magnifies what we are rejecting.

  6. Running away from society, people, life and responsibility is definitely not the answer. It is in choosing to bring love to all aspects of our life that is the answer, very simple and powerful way to change our world, to be love.

  7. In my own way, I had a period of stepping back from life, but now say “Yes” to life in a big way and in my commitment to so many things about life and humanity. Interesting to read you story.

  8. With any rebellion or ‘adventure’ comes the need to be recognised for what one is doing – no different to the recognition sought by fitting in.

  9. Your words here remind me Anonymous, how being rebellious brings a rollercoaster type drama to our lives. This up and down way of living is a form of entertainment that just like a film or TV is a way we can use to hide from what we are truly feeling inside. Now I am older I can see this doesn’t just apply to being a rebel, but can apply to pretty much anything we do to avoid being ourselves. When we take a holiday from our power the real destination is not sunny at all.

  10. “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.” When we take one step forward we begin to build a foundation from which more choices arise and greater opportunities to expose more responsibility have the chance to flourish. Responsibility opens us up to more opportunities to discover more about ourselves and the world begins to open up before our very eyes. Thank you Anonymous.

  11. It was through the work of Serge Benhayon that I too learned to commit to life in full. Before that I was just going through the motions and pretending that I was committed to life when I definitely was not. Committing to life has been one of the greatest blessings because it means that I am not trying to escape life at every turn, be it the need to work only part-time, take constant holidays, indulge in past-times where I escape into my own world etc. Life is so full now and so much fun.

  12. It seems like we have the option to sell out in life – no matter if you are free of possessions and trying to do it tougher obsessed with brands and labels – it is the same thing – to find a way to put all our emphasis outside of ourselves rather than considering what life truly offers. This story is pretty intense and wow I can only imagine how it must feel for a woman to harden so much so that a smelly blanket under the stars is called home. But what an amazing turn around and a journey coming back to who you are.

  13. Thank you Anonymous for sharing your experiences and your wisdom. I really appreciate the choices you have made to bring more love and truth back into a struggling dysfunctional society;
    “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living”.

  14. The search for the rebellious life is not different to living the ideal life. Both leave the person feeling amiss with themselves and setting out to prove that their way of living is the best model to live by. The work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine brings the reality into the picture and reflects that any model harms the natural innate knowing we can live from within.

  15. We can have romantic ideas about living under the stars but in your case it was definitely not the case.
    We can choose so many ways to rebel to when we see how our society is like. We are society if we like it or not it, is based on all our choices, ideals and beliefs. When we get real and accept our responsibility we say yes to life again and stop just surviving.

  16. So many people are in reaction to life.. disillusioned by the loveless systems and playing out those reactions in a myriad of ways, each adding to the mess that has been created. It is gorgeous to read of you coming to this awareness and letting go of life needing to be anything first before you are prepared to commit to it…. for it is through the commitment that we can make the choice to begin to change all that is wrong with it.

  17. This is such an amazing story, I never tire of reading it, thank you for sharing so fully how you used to live and how Serge Benhayon and his work has changed everything for you. I am also a person who found life so confusing and painful I eventually stopped participating and engaging with life as fully as I once had. At one point I was fairly house bound. It’s a complete turnaround for me also thanks to Serge Benhayon, as I feel a joy to be out and about now and have so much more confidence to tackle whatever is going on. I still have some off days, but overall the healing I have gone through (and continue to go through) is literally a miracle.

  18. We live in the illusion that if we do not conform to society we bring a difference to the world but as you show clearly we contribute to the same lovelessness just in different outfit. Only when we start taking care of ourselves and love ourselves will the world change as we will step by step claim the love back that we so yearn for.

  19. Saying yes to life and taking responsibility for the way we live and are being in the world is such a powerful message here Anonymous. I love what you have presented and am inspired by you.

  20. It is amazing how one single movement towards responsibility can pave a completely new series of movements for how we choose to live and be in the world. It’s the consistency to keep making these movements that sets us on a new path away from separation and into connection. Very inspiring indeed, thank you.

  21. Welcome back Anonymous, it’s good to have you back in the world, shining your light for others, as Serge Benhayon and Sara Williams have done for you. That is how it is done.

  22. “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.” I can relate to this too Anonymous I may not have lived on a beach but I chose to step away from humanity and life, and try and make my life as comfortable as possible so that I didn’t have to feel what was really going on. We all seek comfort to not take full responsibility for how we are living whether it is sleeping on a beach or owning a mansion.

  23. There are not many blogs where you read such an incredible change of life, but to be homeless and now committed fully to life is one huge 360 degree turnaround. Amazing how far we can travel from the simple truths of the fact we are amazing and precious beings that deserve total love and care.

  24. Rebellion,being good, pushing the boundaries, high achiever. The list goes on and on of all the ways we perceive ourselves and are asking the world to do the same. A brilliant blog putting aside what is not and offering the realness that can be lived by all.

  25. Great blog Anonymous and I especially like the ending appreciative sentence to Serge and Sara “for it was their light that shone brightly in dark times” – this is so true for so many people who have also found their way back and changed their lives beyond recognition, and this blog is a great example of the types of situations we can all come back from.

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