The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

It was a hot summer’s evening when I settled down for another night alone on the beach. Alongside me were the few possessions I owned. I had no pillow so I would use a book. The blanket I used to cover me had seriously outlived its shelf life; having been used all summer without a wash, it was smelly, manky and uncomfortable and no matter how hard I shook it, I could not seem to get all the sand out that had matted its way in.

I had got used to this way of living and my body had hardened in expectation of what the night could bring. On this particular night, I was awoken suddenly by a homeless guy who was looking for somewhere to sleep and had seen my blanket all bunched up and, not knowing I was under there, he took it off me. I am not sure who was more shocked, him or me!

While sleeping in those conditions I never truly relaxed and, as you can imagine, my body was running on constant nervous energy, ready to go into fight or flight mode at a moment’s notice.

It was not new to me, living on the beach. I had lived under the stars in many different parts of the world, putting myself in some seriously dodgy and unsafe situations.

I was proud of the fact that, with a blanket and the warmth of a hot country, I could sleep anywhere. I was seen as the crazy adventurer by friends, a title I lived up to well.

I loved the fact that I thought I could survive anywhere, living off the land. I glorified the fact that I could get away with living on the fringes of society.

Making friends with people with similar attitudes showed me there were hundreds of people out there with the same “get out clause” as mine, all disillusioned with society, all running away in some way or another. I even teamed up with a group of guys who would meet in the middle of the night to go through the big hotel bins to see what we could find.

Over the years I have witnessed many people lose themselves in this illusion of ‘rebellion’ and ‘adventure’, and many sad, sad endings to lives that had so much potential.

What I have learned is that this kind of rebellion is nothing more than feeding the system back the very thing I was running away from. I was disillusioned with society – from the cold lovelessness that I could feel all around me, from the education system to the health care system. I wanted out, so in reaction to life, I rebelled against society, yet in doing so I actually added to everything I so detested about it. By not dealing with my issues, I gave up on life and in doing so, further compounded the idea that this society was loveless.

Thankfully, I found my way back home (literally) when I was introduced to the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon. At last I had found something that was true, something that was not about a quick fix, but a true way, a real way.

Slowly I started reintroducing responsibility back into my life and over a period of time, I let go of the hardness that I had used to protect my body.

My many nights of living outside had taken their toll on my body. I had built a defensive layer around myself that inhibited me from getting to know the tender woman I actually am; instead the hardness in my body represented the harsh words, criticism and judgment I would subject myself to, for no matter how far I ran or whatever escape method I used, I could not shake the undeniable feeling that all was not right.

Today my life is so different. I really look after myself and enjoy the loving security of a real home. I have a full time job, which I love, a beautiful evolving relationship with my partner, amazing friends around me and, of course, a commitment to life that was not there before.

Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.

Every day I appreciate what has been shown to me by Serge Benhayon and Sara Williams, for it was their light that shone brightly in dark times.

By Anonymous

Related Reading:
Commitment to Self – Commitment to Life
The Ultimate Commitment to Life!
Taking Responsibility and Making a Re-Commitment to Life

1,176 thoughts on “The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

  1. Rebellion is an illusion – it is just a reaction to life and when playing out this reaction we are held in the same energy of what we are reacting to.

    1. Well said Nicki – we’re actually not rebelling to anything apart from to the truth that we know within us. We dismiss it, deny it and actually fight it and in so doing we deny the love we can have in our lives, choosing to enjoin instead in the frustration, anger and discontentment that feeds more and more of the same back to the world.

  2. Our body knows rebellion is destructive, every reaction we have of the world, we are losing more. Physically we are in deeper separation and more isolated with everyone, we can make up all different excuses and comforting mechanisms, but the honesty has to be felt eventually.

  3. Thank you for sharing this, Anonymous. It is inspiring to hear your story about coming home out of the cold and back to the warm hearth of love.

  4. The responsibility of life is so often played down and encouraged with words and gestures that keep us in comfort and not wanting to look deeper at the root cause of our illnesses, mishaps or the ‘accidents and incidents’ that we so commonly comment on as “just a thing that happen”. It is interesting how we can so often feel great shifts in our life, know the patterns that keep us from the vitality and ease when we are willing to make responsibility a part of who we are and how we can support others.

  5. “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.” Saying the words yes to life is the beginning of a series of consistent movements towards a shift and exploration of life and how we engage and express within it and that is a truly inspirational move I love seeing in others and also the steps and movements I make myself. There is so much for us to learn from our experiences and the growth we gain is so very inspiring for all.

  6. This is very exposing; to understand that when in reaction we are actually feeding back the same energy to that which we are in reaction to in the first place! so the judgement of another is fruitless as the only way forth is us taking responsibility to live with integrity and purpose in everything we do for the good of all.

  7. “By not dealing with my issues, I gave up on life and in doing so, further compounded the idea that this society was loveless.” A great realisation Anonymous. Giving up supports no-one, least of all ourselves. And the ‘giving up’ can be very subtle. It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as your ‘hippy’ lifestyle purports, as I know only too well.

  8. “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.” Responsibility is key to living life to the full. Before coming to Universal Medicine presentations I thought it was a heavy duty-bound thing. Connecting with me brought a new found responsibility for all of my movements, which felt light-hearted – not heavy at all. From this point it is then easy to play our part in society.

  9. So true – how important it is to actually have this reflection of light when you are feeling or sitting in the dark.. It makes you realize that there is more.. A point of light you might recognize within yourself and that can be a split second, sometimes it can pull you straight out of the dark – simply by recognizing and choosing your will to step into the light.

    1. What a great pick up from this blog Danna, having a reflection of light in your life, of all you are, is a moment to recognise that the darkness we choose is not all there is and that light is only a step away but it is for us and us alone to make the choice to step back into that light.

    2. Reading each situation more rather than relying on what others perceive supports us to come from our own understanding that brings true change.

  10. A remarkable blog Anonymous clearly exposing the fact that we can begin to make changes that can have an enormous impact on our lives if we are willing to see and acknowledge that which is not working and true for us in our lives.

  11. I always find it fascinating how people long for their holidays to come or to escape somewhere for the week-end and then when they do that is often when they get ill. Would it not be wiser to live everyday with a sense of fulfilment and then when we go on holidays this just gets enhanced?

  12. What an amazing difference that shows both the way we can view the world and how we are in it, i.e. the escape to the wilderness being something we may crave to be the answer, when the truth is its about responsibility and how we take care of the way we live being part of society.

  13. When we decide for ‘adventure’ time, what are we really choosing? Is it simply the challenge that inspires us? Or is it a deeper election that has mainly to do with our relationship with the body and life?

  14. I used to think I was listening to myself and coming from a place of love when in actual fact I was reacting to life. So when I feel I don’t want to do something I dig deeper and question whether I am in reaction or whether it is true for me to say no.

  15. Yes no matter how much we justify something we cannot escape the feeling that ‘all is not right’ as you say Anonymous. If we listen to this feeling and make true changes we can re-imprint our lives to being harmonious again…

  16. It really is interesting how we align our thinking that we are living originally, that our lifestyle is personal to us, that we are all unique. But it just isn’t true, but we only see what we want to see.

  17. We can rebel and react to all we witness around us but we cannot escape from the essence of who we are and when we are inspired to become aware once again of who we truly are we can choose to return to a commitment and purpose to life.

  18. Incredible turn around Anonymous, how awesome this would be to be shared in schools where often we start to believe we are rebelling for a cause or against our parents, teachers, the school, growing up, future work etc. Yet in truth we are then not truly expressing what needs to be called our or dealt with but running away from the responsibility. The anxiety, hardness and tension this builds is undeniable because deep down we know we are an integral part of the whole.

  19. I loved what you said here about how rebelling was not dealing with your issues. This is so true it is not liking what we see in society, humanity, the world and rebelling against this but not taking any responsibility for how we are living and the choices we have made. I have lived this in my past and it does not feel good, does not get to the root cause and changes nothing. Also what I have observed is how teenagers think they are one up on you but you have seen it all before it is the same energy and patterns repeating over and over again.

  20. If we can recognise that society lacks love, respect and decency, then we have every responsibility and opportunity to introduce this ourselves and give back what we know is possible. It might not be through becoming an activist and ‘changing the world’, but every one of our movements counts towards the whole.

  21. “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.” I love this, stepping back into the slipstream of love and purpose.

  22. We can disguise ‘giving up’ as rebellion or many other things. I know I have chosen many ways to opt out, that I have made look like sound choices on the surface. I am glad I made the decision to deal with what I had been avoiding for so long.

  23. I have read this blog a few times, it really fascinates me. At first, I was amazed and shocked, I just couldn’t imagine living without a home. Each time I read it though, I realise that even though I have never been homeless, I use to party for nights on end, not sleeping, or sleeping briefly at people’s houses I had only just met, in their back yards and couches. The conditions were crazy and I never questioned it as I was caught in a place that I thought was “rebelling”. True Rebellion is living a responsible life, that is truly going against the grain, our normal is to check out, cop out and indulge, being different is being loving and committed to society.

  24. This is an extraordinary sharing, as many of us could not fathom how it would be to live without a roof over our heads. Rebellion happens when we are in reaction to the world, we end up fighting ourselves and feeling deeply hurt from our irresponsible choices, the steps you have taken to claim back your true self is beautifully inspiring and shows us what is possible when we are presented with truth and love.

  25. Ah, how I love coming back to this blog. It speaks to me very strongly. “Making friends with people with similar attitudes showed me there were hundreds of people out there with the same “get out clause” as mine, all disillusioned with society, all running away in some way or another.” This is huge for me, how often do we use this ‘get out clause’ to abdicate our own responsibility to be the change we want to see in life?

  26. ” Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living. ” It’s so wonderful that you have said ” Yes to your life ” and as a consequence you are saying yes to humanity and expanding what has been awoken in you for the world thank you.

  27. There are people who come into our lives who change our life completely. Serge Benhayon is one such a person for thousands of people across the world. Look into his eyes and you fall in love with yourself because he reflects the fact that we all come from the stars.

  28. Rebellion is only ever a limited way of dealing with our unresolved hurts as they don’t go away when we withdraw from life but instead just fester and demand protection.

    1. Gosh I lived this rebellion for so much of my life in different ways, from eating what doesn’t serve my body to just wanting to be different and not like everyone else. Such a superficial way to live compared to brotherhood and purpose!

  29. To met people who shine brightly in dark times is exactly what you are now that you have come back into life in full. What an incredible inspiration !

  30. A great learning and reflection Anonymous, how reacting to life leaves us at the mercy of emotional highs and lows that we give up on ourselves and separate from our true selves. How lovely that you have recommitted back to life, and you are well on your way to returning to a true and loving way of living.

  31. Sometimes we need that reflection and be willing to allow their support in and allow the change to occur.. How beautiful it is to let people in and feel your heart rise in capability of love even more – endlessly.. Once we open up, we can not escape feeling a joy that is so natural to us. Let yourself be with that as much as you can.

  32. Being rebellious and seeking adventure are forms of escape from taking responsibility and being committed to life. I used to think of myself as slightly rebellious, but if I look back to those times it was when I didn’t want to take full responsibility for my life and the choices I was making, and was looking for alternative ways to opt out of life.

  33. I find that if you make your life truly loving there is no need to rebel, it gives you a solidness so that it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing because you know who you are and you know where you’re going.

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