The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

It was a hot summer’s evening when I settled down for another night alone on the beach. Alongside me were the few possessions I owned. I had no pillow so I would use a book. The blanket I used to cover me had seriously outlived its shelf life; having been used all summer without a wash, it was smelly, manky and uncomfortable and no matter how hard I shook it, I could not seem to get all the sand out that had matted its way in.

I had got used to this way of living and my body had hardened in expectation of what the night could bring. On this particular night, I was awoken suddenly by a homeless guy who was looking for somewhere to sleep and had seen my blanket all bunched up and, not knowing I was under there, he took it off me. I am not sure who was more shocked, him or me!

While sleeping in those conditions I never truly relaxed and, as you can imagine, my body was running on constant nervous energy, ready to go into fight or flight mode at a moment’s notice.

It was not new to me, living on the beach. I had lived under the stars in many different parts of the world, putting myself in some seriously dodgy and unsafe situations.

I was proud of the fact that, with a blanket and the warmth of a hot country, I could sleep anywhere. I was seen as the crazy adventurer by friends, a title I lived up to well.

I loved the fact that I thought I could survive anywhere, living off the land. I glorified the fact that I could get away with living on the fringes of society.

Making friends with people with similar attitudes showed me there were hundreds of people out there with the same “get out clause” as mine, all disillusioned with society, all running away in some way or another. I even teamed up with a group of guys who would meet in the middle of the night to go through the big hotel bins to see what we could find.

Over the years I have witnessed many people lose themselves in this illusion of ‘rebellion’ and ‘adventure’, and many sad, sad endings to lives that had so much potential.

What I have learned is that this kind of rebellion is nothing more than feeding the system back the very thing I was running away from. I was disillusioned with society – from the cold lovelessness that I could feel all around me, from the education system to the health care system. I wanted out, so in reaction to life, I rebelled against society, yet in doing so I actually added to everything I so detested about it. By not dealing with my issues, I gave up on life and in doing so, further compounded the idea that this society was loveless.

Thankfully, I found my way back home (literally) when I was introduced to the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon. At last I had found something that was true, something that was not about a quick fix, but a true way, a real way.

Slowly I started reintroducing responsibility back into my life and over a period of time, I let go of the hardness that I had used to protect my body.

My many nights of living outside had taken their toll on my body. I had built a defensive layer around myself that inhibited me from getting to know the tender woman I actually am; instead the hardness in my body represented the harsh words, criticism and judgment I would subject myself to, for no matter how far I ran or whatever escape method I used, I could not shake the undeniable feeling that all was not right.

Today my life is so different. I really look after myself and enjoy the loving security of a real home. I have a full time job, which I love, a beautiful evolving relationship with my partner, amazing friends around me and, of course, a commitment to life that was not there before.

Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.

Every day I appreciate what has been shown to me by Serge Benhayon and Sara Williams, for it was their light that shone brightly in dark times.

By Anonymous

Related Reading:
Commitment to Self – Commitment to Life
The Ultimate Commitment to Life!
Taking Responsibility and Making a Re-Commitment to Life

1,145 thoughts on “The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

  1. Rebellion is an illusion – it is just a reaction to life and when playing out this reaction we are held in the same energy of what we are reacting to.

  2. Our body knows rebellion is destructive, every reaction we have of the world, we are losing more. Physically we are in deeper separation and more isolated with everyone, we can make up all different excuses and comforting mechanisms, but the honesty has to be felt eventually.

  3. Thank you for sharing this, Anonymous. It is inspiring to hear your story about coming home out of the cold and back to the warm hearth of love.

  4. The responsibility of life is so often played down and encouraged with words and gestures that keep us in comfort and not wanting to look deeper at the root cause of our illnesses, mishaps or the ‘accidents and incidents’ that we so commonly comment on as “just a thing that happen”. It is interesting how we can so often feel great shifts in our life, know the patterns that keep us from the vitality and ease when we are willing to make responsibility a part of who we are and how we can support others.

  5. “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.” Saying the words yes to life is the beginning of a series of consistent movements towards a shift and exploration of life and how we engage and express within it and that is a truly inspirational move I love seeing in others and also the steps and movements I make myself. There is so much for us to learn from our experiences and the growth we gain is so very inspiring for all.

  6. This is very exposing; to understand that when in reaction we are actually feeding back the same energy to that which we are in reaction to in the first place! so the judgement of another is fruitless as the only way forth is us taking responsibility to live with integrity and purpose in everything we do for the good of all.

  7. “By not dealing with my issues, I gave up on life and in doing so, further compounded the idea that this society was loveless.” A great realisation Anonymous. Giving up supports no-one, least of all ourselves. And the ‘giving up’ can be very subtle. It doesn’t have to be as dramatic as your ‘hippy’ lifestyle purports, as I know only too well.

  8. “Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.” Responsibility is key to living life to the full. Before coming to Universal Medicine presentations I thought it was a heavy duty-bound thing. Connecting with me brought a new found responsibility for all of my movements, which felt light-hearted – not heavy at all. From this point it is then easy to play our part in society.

  9. So true – how important it is to actually have this reflection of light when you are feeling or sitting in the dark.. It makes you realize that there is more.. A point of light you might recognize within yourself and that can be a split second, sometimes it can pull you straight out of the dark – simply by recognizing and choosing your will to step into the light.

  10. A remarkable blog Anonymous clearly exposing the fact that we can begin to make changes that can have an enormous impact on our lives if we are willing to see and acknowledge that which is not working and true for us in our lives.

  11. I always find it fascinating how people long for their holidays to come or to escape somewhere for the week-end and then when they do that is often when they get ill. Would it not be wiser to live everyday with a sense of fulfilment and then when we go on holidays this just gets enhanced?

  12. What an amazing difference that shows both the way we can view the world and how we are in it, i.e. the escape to the wilderness being something we may crave to be the answer, when the truth is its about responsibility and how we take care of the way we live being part of society.

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