The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

It was a hot summer’s evening when I settled down for another night alone on the beach. Alongside me were the few possessions I owned. I had no pillow so I would use a book. The blanket I used to cover me had seriously outlived its shelf life; having been used all summer without a wash, it was smelly, manky and uncomfortable and no matter how hard I shook it, I could not seem to get all the sand out that had matted its way in.

I had got used to this way of living and my body had hardened in expectation of what the night could bring. On this particular night, I was awoken suddenly by a homeless guy who was looking for somewhere to sleep and had seen my blanket all bunched up and, not knowing I was under there, he took it off me. I am not sure who was more shocked, him or me!

While sleeping in those conditions I never truly relaxed and, as you can imagine, my body was running on constant nervous energy, ready to go into fight or flight mode at a moment’s notice.

It was not new to me, living on the beach. I had lived under the stars in many different parts of the world, putting myself in some seriously dodgy and unsafe situations.

I was proud of the fact that, with a blanket and the warmth of a hot country, I could sleep anywhere. I was seen as the crazy adventurer by friends, a title I lived up to well.

I loved the fact that I thought I could survive anywhere, living off the land. I glorified the fact that I could get away with living on the fringes of society.

Making friends with people with similar attitudes showed me there were hundreds of people out there with the same “get out clause” as mine, all disillusioned with society, all running away in some way or another. I even teamed up with a group of guys who would meet in the middle of the night to go through the big hotel bins to see what we could find.

Over the years I have witnessed many people lose themselves in this illusion of ‘rebellion’ and ‘adventure’, and many sad, sad endings to lives that had so much potential.

What I have learned is that this kind of rebellion is nothing more than feeding the system back the very thing I was running away from. I was disillusioned with society – from the cold lovelessness that I could feel all around me, from the education system to the health care system. I wanted out, so in reaction to life, I rebelled against society, yet in doing so I actually added to everything I so detested about it. By not dealing with my issues, I gave up on life and in doing so, further compounded the idea that this society was loveless.

Thankfully, I found my way back home (literally) when I was introduced to the teachings of The Ageless Wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon. At last I had found something that was true, something that was not about a quick fix, but a true way, a real way.

Slowly I started reintroducing responsibility back into my life and over a period of time, I let go of the hardness that I had used to protect my body.

My many nights of living outside had taken their toll on my body. I had built a defensive layer around myself that inhibited me from getting to know the tender woman I actually am; instead the hardness in my body represented the harsh words, criticism and judgment I would subject myself to, for no matter how far I ran or whatever escape method I used, I could not shake the undeniable feeling that all was not right.

Today my life is so different. I really look after myself and enjoy the loving security of a real home. I have a full time job, which I love, a beautiful evolving relationship with my partner, amazing friends around me and, of course, a commitment to life that was not there before.

Choosing to step back into society was my decision to say ‘Yes’ to life, to deal with what came up and take full responsibility for the life I am now living.

Every day I appreciate what has been shown to me by Serge Benhayon and Sara Williams, for it was their light that shone brightly in dark times.

By Anonymous

Related Reading:
Commitment to Self – Commitment to Life
The Ultimate Commitment to Life!
Taking Responsibility and Making a Re-Commitment to Life

1,254 thoughts on “The Illusion of Rebellion and Adventure

  1. As you say anonymous there are many people who live on the fringe of society because they are disillusioned with the way we have all made society to be. It is as though there is within us a knowing that life should be, and can be different but it’s like pushing a large and heavy object up hill, the effort is not only exhausting but futile because no one seemingly wants to change their ways even though our current way of life is a complete mess. At least those people you met still had a level of sensitivity that they could feel society was amiss. Is it possible that those people who are marketing this false way of life have bought into the illusion so deeply that they will defend this way of living to their last breath?

  2. This is a great reminder that, in our reaction, we add to that which we are reacting to, and in order to justify our re-action, we have to reinforce the picture that we are saying is not right, and continue with the fight, and the more we do it, the further we come away from the truth within us that alerted us in the first place that something was amiss.

  3. Until we understand energy and vibration we all have our ways of living that check us out from the True vibration that is connected to when we are Reconnected to our Soul-full-essences. Living in the Humble-appreciative-ness of our Soul definitely is worlds apart from living life as a beach, or to any other form of illusional agenda as they all deprive us from the equality that is felt from this most divine connection, which is Soul-full-ness.

  4. Thank you for exposing the illusion of rebellion and how apparently not conforming to the norm is actually deeply self abusive. It is only when we stop running away from our hurts and are willing to commit to life that we start to heal and take responsibility for living in a way that honours ourselves and others.

  5. We may think that we are making a statement when we step (run) away from a society we find at odds with our beliefs. But the stepping away doesn’t change anything and when we are ready to step back in, we will probably find it even worse than when we left, especially if we haven’t changed. The only way to bring change to any place, society, or even to our world, is to start to make changes in our own lives, and while we are on the run that is a very challenging thing to do.

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