Inspired by Serge Benhayon & Universal Medicine: Feeling the True Me

When I first started practicing Optometry 20 years ago, and for many years thereafter, I felt like I was an actor on a stage, but seldom the true me.

My approach was to ‘mimic my patient’ or ‘to follow their lead’. I was never taught this explicitly at the time, but just recently I attended a Customer Services workshop where this was recommended as a way to ‘wow’ your client.

I reflected back to a time when I was constantly measuring how another person was from the minute they walked through the door. If they were friendly and jovial, I would be too. If they were quietly spoken, I would drop my voice. I have always seen a lot of paediatric clients, many with ADD: when they were in my chair, I would rush around in a frantic spin trying to get everything done that I needed to do in as quick a time as possible.

At the end of every working day I was exhausted. Not because of the physical aspects of my job, but because of the energy I put into being what I thought everyone wanted me to be, and my constant measuring of everyone else. I thought, though not consciously, that I was meeting each person where they were at.

When I look back now, and if I think of the ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) child, what reflection did they get from me? Did they get a gentle person who could calmly work, being present with each task in every moment, without judgement? No! Did they get a reflection that there could be another way? Definitely not!

Since coming to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have been presented with another way; a true way that supports not only me but everyone who walks through my door.

The reflection I have received from Serge Benhayon is that he is always the same, with everyone in every moment. He meets everyone with his full presence and attention. He never tries to be ‘nice’ or ‘polite’ or play social games. He is just himself, consistently – he ‘breathes his own breath’ and never holds back his truth and love.

From attending Universal Medicine events I have learned to support myself at work. To approach each person and task with my full presence. To work and move gently throughout the day and to honour what I feel in every moment.

I have learned to connect to me, to feel the true me and to express from there (without perfection, as I still have ‘wobbles’). I am naturally a friendly person who loves people: I love to chat, to listen and to share. Some days I feel tender and delicate, and I honour that too. Because I can now feel the loving essence inside of me, I am able to truly meet another. In other words, connect to that loving essence in everyone else and allow them to express however they so choose.

Now when you walk through the door, instead of the exhausted, racy actor, you get the true me!


Carmin Hall
Carmin Hall – “the true me”

By Carmin Hall, B.Optom  Grad.Cert.Ocular Therapeutics

Further Reading:
That Monday Morning Feeling – Not Living the True Me

983 thoughts on “Inspired by Serge Benhayon & Universal Medicine: Feeling the True Me

  1. When we follow anothers lead without discerning the quality of their intention and or integrity we need to be aware that we may well being led the long way around.

  2. This is a great example of how we can bend and mold ourselves to stop reactions from another. It becomes a very exhausting way to live, always calling in an energy that is not of who we truly are.

  3. This observing way of life, instead of absorbing by measuring what we think others need, was an eyeopener to me and still is. And I can find myself fitting in like I used to do before I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine but my body is very clear that fitting in, pleasing and thus measuring my expression is not it. I learn everyday in every interaction that it is about me holding me so I can hold everyone in the same light and love we are all coming from.

  4. When we mimic others endeavouring to make them at ease not only is it manipulative we are also not being honest and truthful. If we are not being truthful how can we expect the other to be so? How do we know that they are also not putting on an act of how they think they should be? No wonder there is often mis-understandings and feelings of dissatisfaction.

  5. You show the importance to be ourselves in everything we do and in every encounter. Not only is it of great support for others it also leaves ourselves less exhausted as all the effort of being someone else and the many different roles we are used to take on fall away.

    1. Absolutely, this applies to all areas of life – at work, at home, with friends… Having that inner connection allows us to truly connect with others.

  6. “To approach each person and task with full presence.” To live like this, without any expectation of outcome, gives life a whole new meaning. All my relationships have changed since attending Universal Medicine presentations. Just naturally being all of me – no agenda – no trying – makes a huge difference, of course!

  7. To live life other than who we truly are is so tiring. Babies and young children express themselves freely from who they naturally are. As we learn – and are taught – to change our true nature to ‘fit in’ and please others, so our natural expression changes and we try to become someone we are not naturally. Returning to who we are in essence frees us up and we have more energy.

  8. You just exposed the craziness of mimicing another Carmin, it’s like being a method actor in your life but not being you and people sense that and cannot relax. But when someone is just themselves, it’s simple and then there is the space to just be ourselves too, no games, no pretense, life is so much simpler. Thank God for having met Serge Benhayon, who reminded me that my main job in life is to be me, that’s it, everything else is secondary.

  9. This is a super example of the importance to stay with ourselves and breathe our own breath, because when we allow another to dictate our movements we are no longer with ourselves but hostage to another’s energy.

  10. Meeting someone with our full presence and attention, without trying to please, entertain or change who we truly are is genuinely loving, for all involved.

  11. It’s truly amazing what we feel and the level of detail we can feel also, all within an instant. What we do with these feelings and whether we allow ourselves to feel them is a choice. We may live in a certain way that almost deletes part of what we see automatically and so we can go through parts of life blind. It is like some cruel joke to have access to everything but only see a part. To be open for your eyes to continue to truly see what is going on in front of you regardless if you choose to be aware of it or not is the true freedom we can have in this world at every point.

  12. To feel the true me is a very beautiful re-discovery of who we truly are which never stops. It is an endless re-discovery of the depth of love that we are. And Universal medicine and the courses they offer and the Esoteric healing modalities they offer are a gift in this as a support. This is because of the level of lived love the people offering all of this are living themselves. They give this reflection.

  13. It is exhausting trying to be someone we are not! The body just loves it when we are just ourselves and live true to that.

  14. Moving at other people’s movements constantly is truly exhausting and leave no trace in another one of the encounter with us. Just confirmation of their movements hence relief of knowing that they will not be confronted with anything different from what they have chosen.


    it’s interesting, this journey to becoming the ‘real me’. For much of my life I’ve thought I’ve been me, only to realise, fairly recently I might add, that I have been living versions of me – versions to please others or tick a box, basically. I’m discovering there’s a real sense of solidity in being oneself, a steadiness and consistency. This, I feel, is ultimately what supports us in life; prevents us from being at the mercy of life. It helps us ‘rise above’ the falsities of life so we can live in the world but be less buffeted by it.

    1. Yes I feel this too.There is a real strength and solidness that comes when we stay with ourselves and are true to ourselves. The more we do this the more steady and consistent we become and this is felt in the body. Being so present in the body we have a new kind of confidence and naturally enjoy ourselves, bringing a sense of harmony to our lives.

  16. You can feel the shift in your body when you are not expressing from who you are and instead adopting an identity we think we should be to please, achieve, be liked etc. The palpable difference is found in how we feel to move and then moving with this purpose.

  17. Changing ourselves to mimic another is toxic to our own body, as it requires us to completely adjust ourselves to someone else’s rhythm, pace and quality. No wonder we feel exhausted afterwards…

  18. It was great for me to read this as I can feel how much I do change and measure myself based on how others are with me, I read them first and then calibrate to this. Today I am just going to work on being open with everyone.

  19. It is so freeing to leave behind the idea that we have to ‘wow’ a client or another to communicate with them.
    With deep appreciation for the inspiring reflection that Serge Benhayon offers – to simply
    walk with oneself in full and express from our body is all that is needed to truly connect with others.

  20. Yesterday I was on a training course and for one of the activities we were asked to appreciate someone we felt inspired by. It’s a lovely thing to do, and feels just as rewarding to be the one giving the appreciation.

  21. It’s true what are we reflecting to someone if we are mimicking and constantly measuring how the other person is? All we are saying when we do this, is that they are ok as they are, they may have a few problems but the reflection we are offering back is the same as their behaviours. We can only truly inspire another when we remain true to ourselves and live this with an openness knowing there is always something we can learn from, who ever we are with.

  22. The chameleon is a common role. I played it for many, many years, ending up not knowing who I was without others around me. I still find it challenging to be by myself at times, but by being honest about this I am able to see it as an opportunity to deepen my relationship with myself – use it as a reference point and a signpost as to what I need to work on to be at ease with myself – alone or with others.

  23. Constantly adapting the way that you act depending on what you receive from others is a trap I think we have all fallen for. I know that this is how I lived most of my life, it is so freeing to just be myself and observe what others might be feeling or doing now, without thinking that I have to fit into any mould.

  24. I used to think being understanding meant being sympathetic – feeling others’ pain and all, and more often that not, emotionally caught in that too. It still happens but life does not have to be about being tossed around in reaction. What I am learning is that I cannot possibly just be observing without absorbing if I am not allowing myself to just be me first in full.

  25. ” When I first started practicing Optometry 20 years ago, and for many years thereafter, I felt like I was an actor on a stage, but seldom the true me. ” When I read this I thought of a Shakespeare play and where it says ” all the world’s a stage ” as you have explained Carmin the sad thing is that a lot of people are not playing their true part and are caught up on the false acting of others around them. It is only with those of us who play our true part will others be ” directed ” to play their true part.

  26. “What reflection did they get from me? Did they get a gentle person who could calmly work, being present with each task in every moment, without judgement?” I love these questions, what if your job is simply to inspire people?

  27. It takes some re-learning to be ourselves, which is just nuts. I used to be a chameleon myself, always calibrating to others simply so I wouldn’t stand out and could be easily liked. I don’t do this so much anymore, in fact rarely, but like old habits, it’s always there at the ready trying to get a look in, I’m just a whole lot more aware of it. Realising we have nothing to prove is a gateway to freedom.

  28. It’s funny how we can turn ourselves inside out trying to fit what we think suits another and that is so exhausting and then when we drop that and just be ourselves life is simpler and we’re allowing ourselves and others to just be.

  29. Awesome Carmin, I am sure that everyone would prefer and benefit from meeting the real us rather than a chameleon mimicking their moods and behaviours. When we admit doing this which I am sure we have all done it feels pretty yucky in the body.

  30. When people walk through your door Carmin, they not only will see the true you, but they will also receive the blessing from the love you are so strongly connected to.

  31. It’s lovely Carmin to share so openly about where we used to be, and how profoundly different it is now to live soulfully. It translates to big changes in every part of life and with everyone we interact with.

  32. Serge Benhayon has taught me to be very understanding and considerate of others from a steady connection with myself that allows me to be open and loving and yet not to ‘absorb’ another’s emotional state. This is priceless, and although I don’t live it perfectly it is something that I can keep refining and developing my consistency with, supporting both myself and everyone else as well.

  33. For the most part the majority of us get so caught up playing various roles in life based on who we think others want us to be, that we forget who we truly are and how to be ourselves. The irony here being that we cannot try to be something we already are and so the key is thus revealed – stop trying!

  34. I’ve been a master of the chameleon approach to life – adjusting to whoever is around me to perfectly mimic the situation – and I’m still working on it. What I love about your blog is that it shows that we don’t change for other people we change for ourselves – if it was truly about other people we would live in a way that inspired them and supported them to move forward, not supported them to stay in the same place.

    1. “it shows that we don’t change for other people we change for ourselves” yes exactly, it is for our own temporary comfort to do this and not truly to support others and inspire by a true way of living.

  35. I guess we all don’t need a workshop or training to learn how to please and mimic people. The interesting thing is that it does not support any of us because we are not showing each other another way when we mimic and therefore stay stuck in a way of living that is not working.

  36. Awesome Carmin, I can feel the exhaustion of constantly trying to be anything but who one really is. We are here to provide a reflection to others but not by mimicking them, but rather by living our truth and allowing them to feel that.

  37. ” that I was meeting each person where they were at. ”
    The humour of life is that we meet people with where we are at, and that’s what is reflected.

  38. It is indeed inspiring being met by someone who is reflecting the fullness of the love that they are. Instead of pandering to each other’s limitations, what a blessing to be offered the reflection that we too could be expressing the glory of our true essence.

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