Just after the 2013 Universal Medicine retreat at the Lighthouse, I remember getting into the hire car, driving up to the junction at the top of the road and immediately feeling my calm and serene self being challenged by a palpable energy of aggression and intolerance.
I’m referring to a phenomenon that seems to exist but need not.
The rather mundane business of human transportation in individual capsules has always been sold to us by the manufacturers of such devices as a passport to freedom. We can become ‘masters of our own destiny’ sort of thing.
Have you ever noticed that in advertising material the featured vehicle is always alone on some coastal highway with vistas to die for and there is not another single vehicle in sight! This clever piece of marketing seems to try to tell us that this particular car stands alone, head and shoulders above all others, bestowing its individuality upon its driver and magically taking us away from the Hurly-Burly of traffic to some far flung Shangri-la of our imagination.
How this can be applied to someone driving down Clapham High Road or the M25 is difficult to grasp, but nevertheless the sales people know they are on to something here!
Technological advances have created vehicles with such comfort and refinement that the very sensations of motion and the world outside us seem to have been suppressed. Have you ever opened an electric window at seventy miles an hour?
But is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing?
The British have always been noted for their patience and tolerance while queueing. When the sales are on, there’s a queue round the block but it’s generally good-natured.
However, put those people into cars and create a queue and note the difference! ‘Road rage’ is a phrase frequently heard used, but who ever heard of ‘pavement rage’ or ‘platform rage’.
I can recall being with the most mild-mannered people who, after a few minutes behind the wheel, became judgemental and expressed regular disapproval of their fellow road-users, becoming quite worked-up in the process. Why is this?
The motor car is certainly one area where each of us, confined to a bubble of isolation, can, if not checked, let arrogance reign supreme and become like Mr. Toad in ‘The Wind in the Willows’, who became a tyrant behind the wheel, terrorising the local population. Perhaps we start to believe the advertising blurb, that our chosen vehicle gives us superiority over others, and that it’s therefore necessary to remind everybody from time to time.
As drivers we seem to inhabit an almost virtual world, with the image on our windscreens a mere projection of the reality outside. Perhaps because of this, our human instincts for danger are blunted, with the result that when we do react to a situation, and where there is a clear and immediate danger, it is too late to be calm and civilised and panic takes over, resulting in a reflex or knee-jerk reaction.
Motor-cyclists are by definition, very in touch with their immediate surroundings. Their awareness is sharpened by their perceived vulnerability. Although it only takes one or two silly riders to give them all a bad name, they are generally hugely capable, aware and intelligent road users. Perhaps car drivers should take to two wheels from time to time for a ‘reality check’.
In France where I live, ‘tailgating’ is more common than in the U.K. and the yearly road casualties are significantly worse. When a French car arrived ‘on my back seat’ recently, I noticed, (as my driving mirror was rather full of it), that the man driving was in deep discourse with his passenger, and using both hands to amply make his point!
It wasn’t that his driving was aggressive, it’s just that he wasn’t present! He had allowed himself to disengage from the concentrated activity of driving and act as though he was at home in his living room!
Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages? Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside.
I too was ‘fortunate’ to be caught speeding in a 50kph zone, snapped by a camera positioned in an empty, anonymous car used by the gendarmes or French police. I lost a point and paid a 90 euro fine.
I say ‘fortunate’, because now I make sure that I am consciously present when driving.
Leaving the Lighthouse in 2013, after the concentrated exposure to all that wonderful energy, I felt in good shape to tackle the negative energy ‘out there’ on the roads. I really concentrated on what other people were doing and tried to anticipate more. Making an effort to be more considerate by, for example, giving way and letting people out of difficult junctions seemed to have a good effect. I would like to imagine this behaviour spreading like a virus!
If there is a downside to my increased awareness and heightened conscious presence, it is that I am not my usual chatty self once behind the wheel!
But hey, surely that’s a small price to pay!
By Jonathan Cooke, France
This blog originated as a comment in response to: Caught Speeding
Words on Serge Benhayon 
I was talking to someone recently, they was explaining to me that in the part of Europe where they live cyclists have the right of way. They live in the foothills of a mountain range and so a lot of amateur racing bike enthusiasts use the little mountain roads as part of their training. They expressed how getting stuck behind these cyclists just blows their mind as the cyclists string themselves out over the road making it extremely difficult to overtake. They were aware of not wanting to get so worked up and were looking into what it is that gets them so wound up. I’m told its a work in progress, one of their worries is that going so slowly up a steep hill they will stall the car and then have to perform a hill start and they are terrified of this as they are not very experienced in hill starts.
It seems to me it’s not the cyclists but the pictures and ideas that run through our mind that upset our what if’s of life that may never happen, but we make it very real because they might.
Thank you Jonathan, what you have shared opens up the can of worms that most of us would rather leave on the shelf, as we do not want to look at how we are in disconnected situations or when we are not consciously present.
When we get caught speeding (and this has happened to me too), there is the consequence of the fine and potentially the loss of points, however, this certainly will for most people hit home and support them to change the way they drive to be more respectful of the speed, which really is only the beginning regarding bringing more awareness to driving in general.
Jonathan, your sense of humour is palpable in this blog which I have just re-read after a long time! It is interesting to watch another in road rage, and though I don’t really have road rage as such, I can say that there are other times when my frustration gets a hold of me and I vent it, which essentially is almost the same. It is about holding in something that should have been expressed far earlier before it built to being such an outburst.
I like to watch people in cars, normally while in traffic. So much plays out in those bubbles but a common theme is a sense of relief of being allegedly cut off from the rest of the world. Just because physically we aren’t with others, or only a few people, doesn’t mean we can do and say whatever we want. It still affects others.
Spot on Leigh – we can pretend that what we say and do does not affect others, but in fact everything we do and say influences others in some way. This reminds me of my mum always saying when we were small to never say something about another that we would not say to their face – there is a truth in this in terms of always being respectful to and of another, but there are certainly times when we may need to say things to others that they may not like to hear, however, are important to express if they have behaved in a way that has hurt us and they need to understand how their behaviour can impact us/others. In fact lack of expression can often leave us with bottled up feelings that can then come out as road rage or other unsupportive behaviours.
Everything we do, say, and are feeling has an effect on another, we are energetic beings that are all connected, so how can it not have.
“I say ‘fortunate’, because now I make sure that I am consciously present when driving.” I too got caught speeding a few years ago. In the UK I was offered a speed awareness course plus a fine, rather than have points deducted from my licence. I learned a lot on that course – much of it shocking,. Driving with more awareness was an instant consequence.
True – right after attending a Universal Medicine retreat, I am usually more aware of the onslaught of energies at play – both love and lovelessness in the ordinariness but I am being reminded that that is how it has always been and also there’s so much more to be felt and be aware of that I have yet to embrace as reality.
If we were to become more aware of the subtleties of life and the energies at play our lives would be far less complicated because no one would be able to lie or try to get round us via manipulation because we would know exactly what was occurring. Actually most of us can feel this anyway we just chose to ignore our awareness and play games instead, such as being ‘nice’ or not wanting to upset the other person because we want them to like us.
Energies of being nice, being good, play out in all scenarios, even the situations where people are forced to sit behind cyclists who ride their bike in the middle of the road for miles on end, preventing cars from going round them. It is always important to read the energy in any situation.
As a reflection of our bodies, our cars are a super gauge for how we are living and treating our own bodies. Speed without care, allow our cars to become dirty and messy without regard and we are beautifully shown how we use and drive our own bodies.
“But is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing?”
In my experience absolutely not I am sure distraction over many years = dementia
Road rage seems to bring out the underlying hidden anger and frustration we feel on a daily basis. Perhaps we bury it more than we think and it comes out in particular on the roads?
Our Roads and how we use them can be a great reflection for us and how we go about the rest of our day and also how we return home to go to sleep. So maybe we could learn to drive in a way that is as you have shared Jonathan, with conscious presence so others get that divine reflection and energy from where we have travelled and we also benefit by arriving at work and at home connected to our essences.
Driving with conscious presence, being fully aware as we drive is key, what imprint of energy are we leaving behind as we drive our cars for other road users to be affected by.
I have been a motorcycle driver and can attest to how much more awareness comes from feeling substantially more vulnerable. You cannot disconnect from your outside because you are outside and there is no protection for you if you have an accident. Although I have often forgotten that since driving I feel this will come back to the forefront of my mind when I next get in my car.
You are so right, we get in a capsule, a bubble of isolation and we can forget our grace and how interconnected we all are.
I never really thought that I am arrogant behind the wheel, but yikes it does happen. Often when I’m in a rush and somebody just happens to slow down in-front of me, i can think of all the clever ways to over take and show that I’m a better driver. There’s another thing, there’s a sociatal-wide norm that women aren’t good drivers, so when I get an opportunity to show that I am a woman and a good driver on top of that, I take it and my chest swells up like a balloon – pride and arrogance take the driving seat (literally) and that’s simply because of insecurity, just like every other time I feel an arrogance creeping up.
I find that when there are road works and the speed limit is reduced to 50 mph or less drivers are much more aware especially if the lanes have also been narrowed. I was driving for what seemed hours in such conditions in very heavy traffic and everyone seemed very patient and stayed in their lanes it made driving much easier. And when there was a clear patch for a few miles, still there was no sense of pushing and shoving to get ahead, I felt everyone was very well behaved.
I don’t know if this is a peculiarly British phenomenon, but the Brits are good at queues too. Driving from a two lane into a single lane recently most people were allowing cars in alternately so everyone took their turn. I’ve noticed how if I let a driver in from a side street often they in turn will allow another in ahead. We are all connected.
First of all it is important to be honest – honest about how we are behaving when we are driving the car. Through your honest blog Jonathan you gave us a possibility to ponder on our behavior so that we can choose how we want to get to our destination either in anger or full of joy.
Jonathan – this is a great observation; ‘How this can be applied to someone driving down Clapham High Road or the M25 is difficult to grasp, but nevertheless the sales people know they are on to something here!’ I have just accepted this kind of advertising without questioning the reality and that we are being sold ideals and beliefs rather than truth.
Who would have thought there is so much observation to be had when driving in our car. So obviously a very good place to check in with ourselves and see where we are at.
Driving back from the city yesterday, the traffic was traveling in a very ordered and no-rush state and it felt very harmonious. But then, weaving throughout the lanes came a driver who was obviously in a hurry, maybe being ‘driven to distraction, and the feeling of rush and impatience he/she wove was palpable. It just goes to show that everything is indeed energy and that the slightest disturbance in ‘the force’ is instantly noticeable. The crazy thing is, this driver probably didn’t get to where they were going any faster than the rest of us did!
Ingrid, I find it hilarious when a car driver is swerving in and out of traffic to get somewhere fast. I usually catch them up at the traffic lights some miles ahead or stuck in the traffic jam on the motorway. I have enough experience of driving over the years to know it doesn’t pay to speed as you really don’t get there any faster and if you do insist on speeding what impact does speeding have on our bodies as it takes on the energy of nervousness tension because of driving at such speeds.
It is key to allow more than enough time when driving somewhere, then if there are hold ups for whatever reason, we are not pushed to rush.
Our cars are very personal things and can feel like a second skin, and we can become completely oblivious to the dangers and responsibility we have to other road users and car drivers. Since becoming more aware of being present and not always being in a constant rush when driving, I have become much more aware of everyone else on the road. I am also learning not to get annoyed when the driver in front drives slowly because they are nearly always offering me a message and a stop moment to see that I am starting to rush and get ahead of myself.
“Technological advances have created vehicles with such comfort and refinement” but I feel along with these advances, comes a degree of arrogance in many drivers. And could it be that this arrogance offers us the illusion that we are bullet proof in this amazing vehicle, and so allow ourselves to disconnect from the fact we are actually driving a ‘lethal weapon’? You only have to look at the road toll to see that many moments of distraction have had some horrendous consequences.
Well said Ingrid and at that point we come to a grinding halt and the realisation that nothing ever happens in isolation and the ripple of our indulgence or arrogance now has emergency services, families, loved ones and perhaps judicial consequences.
Too true Lucy. The ripples are huge and touch many people as they flow on out, much further than we can see when we just look at the number of deaths which make up the road toll; the numbers do not tell the true story. The real toll of the road toll is massive and leaves a huge emotional imprint on everyone who the ripples touch.
It seems any chance we get we seek the opportunity to retreat and encapsulate ourselves away from the monster of the reality that we have created where the society we live in pressures us to not live who we are and to compete for our slice of the happiness pie. In being in connection with our Soul and our body, our essence within, who we innately are, we have on hand a far truer sense of reality and one that offers ´increased awareness and heightened conscious presence’ which is deeply fulfilling and settling, that which supports us to bring our all to life in every moment wherever we are.
As the car can be seen as a symbol for the body, the way people drive their car then can tell us much about the way they are driving their body.
So true Nico and I am certainly aware of how careless I have been with my body when driving in the past. Since choosing to be more present and loving when I am driving I find that I arrive at my destination in far better shape than I used to and without the build up of tension that so often accompanied trips in the past where I was often running late and therefore frustrated by how other car drivers were not getting out of my way!
Actually, when we let go of this drive we are in the space where we can live to our divine origins, the Gods that we are.
When we stay in interaction with all around us, our cars can be a place where we can grow and evolve. But in many cases, we use our car to retreat and retract ourselves from the outer world in which then nothing of the above will happen.
The car is a good place to reflect upon where we are at and how we are going, literally.
Being in our cars does give us the opportunity to feel how we are , what is going on for us in the present moment.
I remember years ago passing my test and thinking how great it felt, until I actually drove on my own for the first time and realised how potentially dangerous cars can be, and how responsible and respectful we need to be too, not only for ourselves but for everyone else.
It is a huge responsibility when we are driving our cars, we need to be super present and aware; people can do some very unexpected things on the roads, and it is important for us to respond to whatever happens around us.
Road rage is a whole body decision of where are we going next and what quality are we choosing to get there.
Driving a car brings a responsibility to not only look after ourselves to everyone else on the road as well.
“Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?” a great point for us to consider, in basic and simple terms what if we simply started to truly move and by that I mean drive in this case, in the way that we would like others to move. That would be a great start as perhaps then we would move in a way that supports our bodies and not a way that feels like an attack on ourselves.
How we are in our cars is a magnification of how we are with ourselves, and in life, more generally. We can’t live life one way and then get in the car (or anywhere else) and expect it to be, or to feel, any different, because we take ourselves, and the qualities we’ve been living, into every part of our life.
Great blog on something that most don’t even realise is happening. Being responsible and honouring of every expression we make including driving is the depth of where we need to be living to, Energetic Responsibility. When we don’t, at some point or another we are shaken out of our disconnection by some form of accident or illness and disease, why wait for that to happen.
The safety features and noise muffling of modern cars do create this bubble that divorces us from how fast we are travelling, and the underlying danger of what we are doing. It takes a split second and we are drifting into the other lane or off into the verge – suddenly becoming a life threatening danger to others. So much responsibility that is so often overlooked.
I like the idea of less chat and more consciousness while driving, after all it only takes a moment of distraction for an accident to occur, an accident which can often change people’s lives, immeasurably so. Maybe if we came to realise that a car is actually a lethal weapon when controlled by someone who is letting what is going on, on the inside of the car – music, talk etc- , or on the outside – other drivers actions – , distract them from their responsibility as to how they drive, not just for their own safety, but for the safety of all.
To me it seems it is just like us walking on the street or in rush our having to make sure we don’t run into other people but then in a bigger vehicle and at much higher speed which causes to magnify the effects of how we are with each other anyway.
I stood to be elected once in our local government elections, and I did a lot of door knocking. A common complaint was people speeding in their neighbourhoods. It really made me think about my driving and I realised that I can speed through areas at time, not overly but it is there….sometimes doing close to 60 in a 50 zone. I realised that everything I do has an impact and the way I drove at times, would be a cause of stress to others. I slowed it right down and thought about an apt ‘punishment’ for people who speed regularly would be to door knock and ask about how speeding effects others.
We wouldn’t push a pram with a new born child in it without being consistently aware of the path ahead and other people, perhaps we should treat ourselves and others as equal to that precious new born.
Mary, What a great example of what we are actually doing with each other and the irresponsibility we live at that moment when we choose to be unaware of what is going on on the road, inside our own self and others.
Great to consider, how would we drive our car if we had a newborn in the front baby car seat? Would we be more aware, more considerate, more responsible, in how we were driving?
It seems crazy to consider taking your hands off the wheels of the car because you are so engrossed in what you are talking about and yet I am very sure it happens far more regularly than it should.
So true, the pictures painted about the joys of driving rarely talk about the reality of traffic and tolerance for other road users. I see the car as a space where we get to see some of our less loving traits whether that be screaming at someone else, or overeating and distracting ourselves from what we are actually doing.
There is a great joy in being present with ourselves because we get to hang out with ourselves!
Moving in a car seems to give us a sense of ‘moving my way’, a stimulation of us in ‘driving mode’. For a being that gets identification by doing things, through being in the motion of an activity, car and traffic offer the ideal vehicle and environment to act out the inner drivenness. The more we are in drive the stronger is the sense of self in distinction to anyone else, hence a rise in intensity, emotion and even inconsideration of others.
Spot on Alex – its all about me, my time line, my getting there. What if we are always, already where we need to be and the way we are on the motorway is just as important as how we are at the meeting?
Is it that we are constantly looking for opportunities to escape the tension of not living in connection to our Soul, and driving is a seemingly possible way that this can be achieved? We may be encapsulated in a vehicle that seems to isolate us from the world yet the illusion is, as you have illustrated so beautifully, that never are we truly separated from each other and everything we do brings a quality to the space we are moving in and share with others be it driving or otherwise. And we are always responsible for the quality of energy moving through us whether we think we are escaping our responsibility or not.
What comes to mind is that being in our cars creates the effect of ‘me and my space’ within the confined ‘vehicle bubble’ as well as in claiming the road as one´s own space and others needing to respect my space, wanting them to make space for me (‘move, move!’, why isn´t he moving?! etc).
A different approach would be to think of our space, the space we all move in together like a shoal of fish in the ocean. What we consider to be ‘me and my space’ is actually is defined by boundaries and the space within that confinement; space in truth is boundless, it is not confined by any limitations and hence it is selfless, not to be owned in any way, we only can know ourselves to be part of it – around us, within us, through us. Our body has a delineation but it is still part of space through and through made of particles dancing in that space.
If people are venting their frustration when driving then they are frustrated full stop. If people get angry when driving they are angry full stop. Our behaviours seem to become more magnified when we get behind the wheel of our cars maybe it’s because we are enclosed in a tin box we feel we can express our pent up feelings at strangers?
I hear that expression “driven to distraction” in a lot of different contexts. No one can drive us to distraction but ourselves.
I’ve had some interesting car collisions and am now driving aware of what can happen in an instant. I’m not in control of other drivers but being present I have greater awareness and can feel what’s going on around me. Lapses in awareness can be very costly and dangerous!
There should be no difference in the way we express to another person, to customers at work, with our partners AND on the roads too. Also, it is impossible to be just a ‘frustrated driver’ and not have this upset overlap in other areas.
This is just so brilliant. While in essence we are pure love and know our inter-connected with one another within the body of God and that we are one; put us in separate bodies and make us believe we are individual ‘me’s, with the right to do whatever we each want, we are lost and out of order, and the world is in a mess – but there is a way be in a body, in our essence, and that is our choice.
It’s amazing how we can act as if in a bubble while driving our cars and convince ourselves that we are not harming anyone by the way we drive. But if we stop to feel the energy of the other road users, it’s obvious that we are fighting each other, and that all of our frustration, anger and resentment is being expressed. You only have to feel the energy behind a horn being blown to feel if it’s aggressive or not.
There is a responsibility for all when we enter into the car to drive from A to B. A responsibility to value yourself as the driver, all those in the passages seats, other cars, the road, the surrounding buildings, houses and everything that is impacted by the choices we make to move in regard or not.
The best place to see the lack on our roads in at roundabouts. Somehow it feels that people go into their heads at roundabouts rather than truly observing and registering what is happening with the traffic ahead.
I had a particularly aggressive driver behind me the other day at a round about… for no reason other than there was traffic and it wasn’t moving as fast as he would have liked. The continuous beeping of the horn and verbal abuse was extreme. It is amazing how we can unleashed our own frustration and anger on each other and the effect this can have.
I think it’s important to realise the impact we have on everyone else through the way that we are (whatever we are doing e.g driving etc) – regardless of whether we are directly speaking with someone or not we pick up on each other’s energetic expression and impact each other in this way…
Yes, I wonder if letting someone out of a difficult junction not only helps that person in that moment but leaves an imprint for others to drive in. I know that when I have been in a situation where two lanes have merged to one, if drivers do a one one from each lane approach then the pattern is repeated and when someone doesn’t it really stands out.
Interesting that we behave one way when in full view, but when in our cars it’s often a different story – and the same thing in our houses. But this all hides the fact that everything is felt, near or far. We can’t pretend that what we do has no effect: it does, always, all of the time.
I reckon that how a person drives their car is a direct reflection of how they feel about humanity and their place within it, and as such it can reveal a lot of hurt and subsequent shields or barriers of protection. A closed heart driver is thus a very different driver to an open heart driver, and this can be seen simply by the way they move through traffic, how they take corners, how they stop and move on. It is all an interplay of movements and these have a quality to them, magnified by the car on its four wheels. And this can be easily read by the casual observer, noting what quality is moving that vehicle by the movements that it displays. This hence makes us all deeply responsible for the way that we drive our cars, for this is ultimately what we are contributing to the world.
“Making an effort to be more considerate by, for example, giving way and letting people out of difficult junctions seemed to have a good effect. I would like to imagine this behaviour spreading like a virus!”It sure does Jonathan – one small kind deed has ripple effects that reach far more than the mind can fathom or the eye can see.
“But is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing?” This is a great question and one that deserves to be pondered on. When we cut off from our fellow brothers and sisters we lose out on the pure gold that lies within every human being.
I love your point about how people speed through villages but hate it when people speed through their village – this thought has often crossed my mind when I think how dangerous and disrespectful it is how fast people drive through our village… and then I think about how often I drive fast through other villages – how can I possibly complain? It’s like if it isn’t ours we don’t truly care, but it’s a great opportunity to start to consider other people more at all points in time.
I spend a lot of time driving and when caught in traffic jams I am always surprised by how calm everyone is they just accept the queue. It’s almost as if everyone likes the jam because it gives them peace and quiet to just sit in the car and do nothing except listen to the radio or their own personal music with a great excuse for being late.
When you stop and think about it tailgating is a genuine form of imposition and intimidation.
Harming not one driver but many in the process.
I recently parked somewhere, gave a cursory glance at the sign, decided to pay it no attention as it was a Sunday even though I recalled something about parking regulations changing, and went on my merry way. Came back to a parking fine of $58. I started to get a bit cranky and then saw the message. I had known, I chose to ignore it, and this is what happen. We are never really truly innocent.
It really is interesting to observe that we demand our space on the road, that others are an inconvenience and get in our way… could this be from the fact we live divorced and disconnected from the fact that we all one and the same and choose instead to live from individuality. How would driving look and feel if we embraced our natural connection with everyone we shared the road with?
Driving is like being in a mirror that reflects the level of presence we have been living but magnified.
There is something about the bubble of being in a vehicle that gives many of us the idea that somehow the world around us cannot impact us and that we’re our own island and can do as we please, and you see it in how as a whole most of us drive. To be present while driving is huge and allows for that connection with both ourselves and the wider world to be at the fore, rather than the arrogant check-out many of us can do; it reminds us that we’re part of the bigger wider flow of life, that we’re all in a stream together and everything we do ripples out and affects all of us.
Driving is a great place to practice conscious presence – it is so easy to check out and so dangerous.
‘Road rage’ is a phrase frequently heard used, but who ever heard of ‘pavement rage’ or ‘platform rage’. I wonder if our behaviour deteriorates because we feel more anonymous and safe from retaliation in a car. I am sure a a lot of people consider their car a haven from the stresses at home and at work and perhaps we are infuriated when this haven is disrupted.
There may not be outward pavement rage, but when one is in tune with energy it is there, the judgements, disregard of another and down right rudeness can be felt. So maybe driving our cars then becomes another way to treat humanity with such disregard, disgust and judgement.
I love observing others whether they are driving, walking down the street or wherever, just seeing the way they move and interact. It is like we are all living science experiments and underneath it all are the same. It is fascinating seeing how the choices we make can completely change the way we move, view life and interact with others.
Very true James. It can be very shocking to observe the instant change that can ‘come over another’ as a choice is made, for example the choice to let anger be played out in how we move and be with another. Just as it can be very beautiful to observe the change in another when their essence and divinity within are walked.
Sure it can be shocking and is on many levels. I know for myself how at times when I want to make a point or get something my way how what I can let me through and out of my mouth is truly shocking and digusting, I especially feel it when it is directed towards a loved one who I never would have dreamed of speaking to in that way. Which shows there is more at play than purely just us.
When we are driving our car it’s a great opportunity to reconnect back to our body and solidify our presence so when we get to our destination we arrive with ourselves in full. Great blog Jonathan.
It is very scary to be driven in a car by someone who is not present and aware of everything going on around them. This also applied to life because a person who is not present and with themselves allows all sorts of things to occur that are not true.
I am always fascinated by road rage, and the occasional times i have found myself getting worked up in the car over another persons driving. To me it shows how close to the surface our anger and rage simmers and how quickly we release it when the person can seemingly not hear or feel our anger. Is it any wonder that so many homes are places of abuse, and if behind the closed door of the car we feel free to become enraged and dangerous in our driving to prove a point?
We had a really warm, sunny day this week and driving through the centre of my town was like playing dodge-ems. It could have been the sun shining in people’s eyes, but there was more to it than that; people were processing something – perhaps the shock of not having to wear coats! – but there was no ‘flow’ to the roads and some people were driving at around 10 mph, others at 40 mph (in a 30 zone), there were trucks parked alongside pavements and cars pulling out from different directions without fully checking both ways. It’s in these situations we have a responsibility to up our game – drive with absolute presence, do our best to understand what’s going on and respect other people in their cars.
This is a very good point to make. To have understanding when things seem erratic is essential. I notice this in the traffic when it is raining. So my awareness is then greater and understanding is imperative. As the moment I judge, I find myself also caught in the intensity of the weather and the moment.
Just because we are not on a motor cycle does not mean that those of us in cars are less vulnerable because the fact of the matter is we are all affected by how we are and others are on the roads. It is our responsibility therefore to not let ourselves be distracted.
Sitting at a very busy 4 way traffic light junction it was interesting to observe how many drivers were jumping amber and red lights and other drivers were racing along so fast in an mindless energy of rush in a 30 mile an hour speed limit, bent over their steering wheel with chin jutting out in grim determination to beat everyone else on the road.
It is so lovely to be just sitting in my car, with awareness and conscious presence with my body, hands lightly resting on the steering wheel and not being caught up in this desperate race of revving engines and grimacing drivers impatiently waiting for the traffic lights to change to green.
The presentations by Serge Benhayon offer the choice to change and to live another way, far from the madding crowd.
These are great points and modern additions to the car making the car both safer (radar cruise control, lane change warning etc) but also allow us to give less attention to driving which makes many of us drive more dangerously.
To true, such advances make it so the driver relies upon them. I have noticed that when my car says that it’s eyesight has been obstructed, generally due to rain or darkness, that there is an immediate response in myself of greater attention. This is most interesting, as it shows me that I have formed a level of reliance on this feature in my car.
I would like to see that virus spread Jonathan, i did an experiment many, many years ago before I met Serge Benhayon and it was to do with what I put out, I noticed I had become quite rude when I travelled on public transport, very in my world and getting in front of people in a rude way. I decided to be more considerate and open in my daily travel, what occurred was miraculous over the weeks people started being polite and considerate to me, well before I engaged with them, young teenage boys let me go ahead of them on a bus, it was as if I was getting what I was putting out. Fascinating.
Great sharing Doug. When we get into the rush and drive, it takes us away from ourselves and we become easily irritated. That compressed feeling of not having enough time feels awful but like you shared, leaving ourselves plenty of time means we can create a space that is expanded and not compressed.
Interesting observation Jonathan. I was in my car yesterday parked on the side of the road and a friend walked up to me to have a chat. While I had my window down I felt I was somewhat seperate from my friend and didn’t feel as open and connected. Midway through our conversation I came out of my car and I immediately felt more open. It made me aware of how different it feels from being inside my car to being outside of it.
Driving on auto-pilot is more common than perhaps we’d all like to admit.
Yes we do seem to get car-ried away in our cars.
Ha ha ha Nicola good one, I love your comment.
Thanks Chan it made me laugh too 🙂
Love it Nicola!
Rushing it so painful for the body- it is like your head is actually moving and leading and the body is following in a tense way. I always remind me, when I get into rushing, that the quality in how I arrive the meeting/ location etc is much more important than the exact punctuality. If any thought of not being ” in time” arises, I know I am off the universal flow and its own natural timing, which is indeed no timing at all.
“Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?” If you want the world to be different, start to live what you wish the world to be. Be the love and considerate person you want others to be.
I love all the observations you’ve made about driving. Driving seems to emphasize all our ways in the world and amplify them because somehow we’ve lost our social cohesion. I have joked about there could be a dating show – there are so many based on things like meals they choose to cook for the date etc. – where a person observes a potential date’s driving. Yes, it probably wouldn’t make the best TV show but it’ll be so revealing. For me driving is such a marker of where I am at sometimes it’s painful! It is where I get to see my niggles and learn to be with people in the world and accept where we all are.
I stood for local council a few years ago, and that involved a lot of door knocking. A key complaint was people driving too fast along the roads. Hearing it straight from the people, and the effect it was having on them, made me realiise that I dont always obey the rules (i.e. keeping to 40 or 50 in the zone) and how much I am having an effect on them. I think any speeding offenders should have to do the same – door knocking the local area hearing first hand the effects of their actions.
I love what you invite here- taking responsibility in full every time we are behind a steering wheel. The point you are making, that we feel kind of distanced because we are in our own little world in our car is huge. Only because we are not directly approachable, a part of us thinks can get away with an unpleasant behaviour. What an illusion- we are all connected, all the time, only because you can drive away and never been recognised, you still carry the responsibility and your “wheel-prints” are everywhere.
It is an interesting phenomena that people can be one way in life then behind the wheel something entirely different emerges. Do we feel so separate in our little metal boxes that we treat people that if we passed them without the protection of our metal box we would never treat in such a way?
Whatever emerges is there the whole time, just a bit more hidden.
Whether behind the wheel or walking to the bathroom, the need for true presence never leaves yet seemingly is more necessary on the road because of the potentially deadly consequences. Our road rage is simply a reflection of greater human life.
I absolutely agree. Even though we walk to the bathroom on our own, all our movements do affect everyone else. You would not physically see any results immediately, like being on the road and an accident happens e.g.. But the awareness that we do cause situations with our way of being all the time is a way of living that constantly asks you to take responsibility for the all. It is not very comfortable but is the only way for me, to bring a change to this world, by just being me.
I love your point about the advertisements of cars always being cars on their own, it is so true! We all know this is not the real case but it gives a feeling of being untouchable even though this is far from the truth. Cars are big and heavy and they really don’t stop that quickly so it is important that we are present and aware of this fact of other people being around and us, driving this heavy big car.
These advertisements also communicate, that a car is even more worth and important than you. It represents this superior accessory that helps you to “be someone”.
The key is for us all to let go of this need of being individual, to see that we actually need each other to work with and allow connection to be our main focus. As in individualism there is no space for love (connection) as it disturbs the flow of brotherhood and union, something that is bound by our Soul, by us All.
Jonathan I am sure I have said it before but I will say it again I love love love your writing very to the point that all can relate to with humour … marvellous. On the subject of cars and roads can I just add the one thing that gets to me … just a bit! and that is when the road clearly states the mileage eg 40mph and everyone ‘relatively’ sticks to it apart from that one person that goes speeding past because .. eh em it does not apply to them 😶 yep they can do whatever they like on the roads because the signs do not apply to them. But this is the same as anything in life in that we can make and do make a difference just by living and reflecting something different to others, even while driving. I know I am far more present and steady behind a wheel than I used to be.
Jonathan, you are quite correct – automatic emergency breaking is considered to be the biggest new lifesaving feature for cars since the introduction of the seatbelt.
It is true on the whole motor cyclists have far greater awareness on the roads because they are not in the safety net of being cocooned in a vehicle. Bring this awareness and immediacy into how we drive our car and we would start to have much more considerate drivers on the roads, that are not loosing themselves in their vehicles, checking out listening to music or the radio or making telephone calls.
” I say ‘fortunate’, because now I make sure that I am consciously present when driving.”
A wake up call in any form is always fortunate.
Yes, and 90 Euro is cheap – in Australia it is a wee touch more.
I have never had road rage but I do get anxious about driving in busy traffic as I am afraid that I will make mistakes or annoy other drivers that might get angry with me. Although, in my on-foot life, I come across has bubbly and confident, when I am behind the wheel, I am extremely unassertive, which can boarder on dangerous, I also do not know the size of my vehicle, misjudging things like parking. But my biggest car faux pas was when I first started driving, I was convinced that when I was in my car, that nobody else could see me and I would pick my nose, as if I was alone in my bedroom. It took years for me to realise that it was not the case and that people could see me, how embarrassment….hehe.
We easily see the stress, frustration and anxiety we go into with driving, but what if it’s also there on a much smaller scale when we just walk around? What if it’s not the car that is bad per se but the quality with which we navigate life? Just because we can stride across the room without getting into a fight – does this mean we are walking with our true light? Thank you Jonathan for this beautifully written piece asking me to go deeper with how I choose to move.
Thank you Jonathan, your piece makes me see how there is a lot of identification to be had from how or what we drive. And how it can take a lot of humbleness to sit and be quiet while the flow of traffic moves in its way as you are trying to get to where you need to go.
The awareness or understanding of what being “present” in your body is, what this actually means, is a first step towards that presence.
“Making an effort to be more considerate by, for example, giving way and letting people out of difficult junctions seemed to have a good effect. I would like to imagine this behaviour spreading like a virus!
” Yes definitely Jonathan I know myself when someone has let me off a junction I am then more likely to remember this later on my journey and let someone else out when they need it. Truly loving choices spread like wild fire.
I remember quite a long time ago when I was driving home at night and it was quite late, and I was almost home when I suddenly realised that I hadn’t remembered doing most of that trip and I wasn’t even under the influence of alcohol. Yes, I had made that trip countless times and knew it very well and the roads were very quiet, but it was very scary to think most of the trip was a blur and I was basically travelling on autopilot.
Compared with my old car when I am driving the new one feels as though I am incarcerated in a shell, cut off from the world, small windows with tinted glass. I am told that this design incorporates new safety features. Having a shield around me which cuts me off from the world doesn’t seem safer to me, I would rather have the expanse of glass that allowed me easily to see and connect with what was around me.
I’m guilty of being arrogant behind the wheel. It’s true that you feel like you’re in a seperate bubble to the rest of the world when on the road. I get sooo easily annoyed by fellow drivers. I’m aware of it, but my gosh does my frustration let rip behind the wheel. It’s really quite embarrassing when I think about how different I am in the car than when not. Definitely worth giving some further thought.
I never get road rage but I find it extremely difficult to remain consciously present whilst behind the wheel. I will often just check out or want to look and something on my phone, make a phone call or plan in my head what is for the kid’s dinner. Staying with driving, is being still and in a world, that is charged and overrun with motion, that can be a challenge. It is beautiful to hear that Universal Medicine has inspired you to be a different way behind the wheel, the world needs more connected drivers, I think it would change the roads and the number of accidents.
“As drivers we seem to inhabit an almost virtual world, with the image on our windscreens a mere projection of the reality outside. “This such an apt analogy it is surprising there are not even more accidents than there are.
I love that – instead of reacting to the negative energies ‘out there’, why not do more of what we would prefer to see?
When I am fully present and conscious on my drive to and from work…or anywhere for that matter – there is a sense of fullness that is joyful. It is rather like being connected to everything around me and around the car, feeling the road, sensing the other cars and drivers. It is a whole body experience that is the opposite of driving ‘checked out’, thinking about other things. It isn’t always easy, but it is worth the commitment it takes to connect to it.
On my way to work I often drive down a residential street in a village not far from home. In one of the front gardens of these residences, is a sign that says, ‘drive like your kids live here’. Perhaps we should adopt this level of responsibility for our driving wherever we go – or even whatever we do and appreciate the fact that we have an impact on everything, in every moment of our lives. ‘Live like your kids are watching you’ might be a useful phrase to remember.
It is a microcosm of life itself when we are on the road. The same way that we actually see more of what’s really going on when we turn off the sound while watching a speaker on the TV for example, letting ourselves observe their movements without the tantalising effects of sound, on the road we get to see how we have all succumbed to behaving and interacting with each other. More often that not it is every man for himself, with respect of the road rules (in general), but underlyingly with a drive to get somewhere, wherever that may be being the priority amongst everything else. Aggression and frustration are commonplace.
I love being a considerate driver. Interestingly though there are times when I’m just mean and it’s either because I’m not present or paying attention or I’m down-right grumpy. Either way it feels really disgusting and is a great wake-up call. The consistency of my driving is an absolute reflection of the consistency I live in all areas of my life.
I often drive long distances to work, having recently bought a new car I find I am enjoying the drive much more and how it supports me to be more present and focussed with my driving.
I was driving home with a friend from an unfamiliar location last night. I missed my turning a few times because I was distracted by our conversation. Driving really does require more attention than some of us care to give it.
I agree, driving harmoniously is actually quite challenging to do consistently in my experience.
There is a definitely a different feel to how people drive to work in the mornings and when driving home. The driving home reminds me of the Simpsons, where everyone is rushing from all the corners of the town to sit on the couch to watch TV.
Oh my God that’s so true Julie! Racing home to check out in one way or another.
Actually I find both ways, morning and evening, quite intense. In the morning you can feel the frustration of having to work, most of the people being in a rush, because they are late for work or did not care for themselves enough having enough time from door to door and in the evening you can feel the annoyance of the day, the rush to come home as fast as possible, like you described. As work is for most of the people a burden the way they enter a day of work and leave it in their car is not very surprising.
It is interesting how we view our cars as something in which to escape, when infact they are an extension of our body and deeply represent a reflection to us of how deeply we care for our body, or not. So to use it to check out, be better than or as a status symbol simply says that we are doing the very same to our body that has the potential to house the soul. Checking out from it and not thinking it is good enough so looking constantly to prove it is. A very powerless way to live, when our cars have the potential to hold us, support us and deliver to our destination a human in the grace of their soul.
Driving knowing how I am is felt by everyone around me, whether they are conscious of this or not, is supporting me to change how I drive. I’m going from pushy to observant and celebrating being a part of life with us all in it together.
“Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?” This is a great point Jonathan, as how often are we too busy with ourselves in our individual cars, disconnected from the environment we are in and unaware of the impact we have when driving too fast or in being not consciously present thus not engaged with the people that live around us?
Let us not forget how often we carry this same speed when we rush past someone on foot. Either way the impact is felt.
Sure Natalliya, it is not only when driving in our cars but actually in all that we do. Are we in connection with ourselves and in our bodies and from there in harmony with all that lives around us or have we resorted into our busy minds instead in which we cannot feel that inner connection, let alone that outer connection which otherwise so naturally can be felt when we live from our body.
Motor cars give us the illusion of having a different vehicle from the neighbour and that we can be more (or less) than others.
Accidents tend to happen when we are distracted but when we are in a car the accidents can be fatal. Imagine how many accidents we can avoid by staying focused, present and being responsible?
Jonathan, I agree when we place more care and attention to our driving there is less chatter as we concentrate, as chatter only leads to distraction.
Friends who drive with me regularly comment how much my driving changes when I’m talking. I drive slower and it’s as though my awareness has been reigned in.
So maybe being less chatty is not a downside after all!!!
I have always loved driving and being in my car but it is true there is something that can come over us and we can become judgemental and arrogant, at the slightest movement or gesture from another driver that does not fit our picture or disturbs us. Learning to be present and have an understanding that we don’t own the road and that any mutterings I might have behind the wheel about another driver are neither loving and can incite another to behave in a similar manor.
Yes, we may feel less accountable as we are more distant from others.
I recently had an experience where I was coming home from work and a fire truck had its siren on and was coming behind me. It was peak hour so quite busy, but it was very beautiful to watch as everyone just moved to one side in this flow and it felt amazing and natural. Everyone doing what was needed at the time and there was no us within it. That reflected true service right there.
How interesting that we are willing to go into true service when the sirens are blasting but not in our daily movements where the reminders are blaring from our bodies but so often we choose to stay in the comfort and ignore.
ha ha that is very true and also great to appreciate those moments when we do respond gracefully.
Very good point Natalliya, gosh if only we were that obedient and harmonious as those moments of emergency vehicle coming through. What would life be like.
It is true, we respond to the obvious and when it is to support others – there are many other examples of people being polite behind the wheel.
What is it particularly about cars or vehicles that gets us literally going and are the vehicles that we are calling to be created really supporting us to feel what is going on? It great to look back at where things have come from, to appreciate things but also to see what we need to value in the ‘how’ things were. It seems we look back and always want to improve things in place of valuing what is there and keeping it alive in and around us no matter the landscape. Cars are a great example and I love talking about them, how they affect us and what we can be more aware of.
Driving is a great marker as to where I am at and it can support me to come back to myself if I have been rushing. I can learn so much about myself when I’m driving… the momentum I’m in, how present and connected I am and the beautiful confirmations I receive or the opportunity to surrender, let go and change my movements.
So true, Caroline, the way I start driving is a great reflection of the momentum I have been in and the movements required to drive a great focus through which to re-connect myself.
Yes and how connected we were before even getting in the car for if we are late or out of rhythm that has already set up a tension waiting to be unfurled!
‘Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside.’ And moreover, behind the wheel we can’t hide from the momentums we are in. We’re rushing head first throughout our day and we try and rush in our cars – traffic lights, pedestrians, other cars, speed limits are all irritating impediments to us just getting to our darn destination. Rather brutal behaviour for a seemingly very civilised and progressive bunch….
People often use that expression that they have been driven to distraction and usually there is someone or something that they blame for this occurring. But what if it is us who drive ourselves to distraction by not staying focused in the first place?
I find driving regardless of the traffic conditions another opportunity to surrender and deeply connect with myself and the more I live this quality in my life the less reactions I experience in the road, making my travelling time an enjoyable and regenerative experience I look forward to at any given time.
What a great way to make use of our time while we are in the car and a great reminder that we can practice deepening our connection with ourselves anywhere and at any time.
I love driving, love every part of it, the cars, the sounds and the traffic. Driving for me is time to check in and feel how I am driving, is it smooth and flowing or sharp and racy. Driving for me has always been more then just getting from a to b, it’s been much more like an extension of how I live and sure Universal Medicine has supported me to see this clearer but it was always there, always a knowing and always a love. I have always enjoyed vehicles and driving them and now I know why and why it’s so dear to me. Great article and anytime you are talking about vehicles you can relate this to cars and personally to you and your body.
I can remember traveling as a passenger with a relative for many hours and I was shocked by the fact that every time she spoke she looked at me, not at the road. I was determined to not turn to look at her hoping she would return her focus to the road, but no, out of the corner of my eye I could she her head still turned in my direction. In this instance I was the one ‘driven to distraction ‘and whereas then I said nothing these days it wouldn’t take long for me to tell her to get her eyes back on the road!
When we are behind the wheel we have to ask who is the driving force.
I have been a motor cycle rider and know all too well of being present. There is a saying that there are only two types of riders, those that have and those that will… crash! It’s a game that the house will always win. Unless you are 100% every moment, which is impossible, you will join the second group. To have the same awareness, but not worried about someone running you over is an amazing feeling.
Your words here Jonathan remind me how there is great beauty and quality to be found in just enjoying totally, whatever you do. Not going into your head on a mental tangent, not figuring the world out but just embracing the movements and gestures you make and bringing everything to them right now. We seek so much an eascape from this world, but is it really us we want to escape from or the tyranny of the thoughts that aren’t true? The greatest way to stop these overrunning is return to the simplicity of your breath and your body.
Great to come back to this one for a re-read. There is one spot of road as you come up to Stonehenge that seems to get people aggravated, because the road goes from two lanes to one, and people always end up in a huge queue. This then turns into a free for all for some to come from the back of the line and barge their way in at the top – without fail people get annoyed, and those with huge four by fours block the road so that the queue jumpers cannot pass them. It is fascinating to watch the reactions with regards to queue jumpers in others, and myself.
The car manufacturers have done a slightly surreal job of insulating us, and yes… when you open the window at 70 or 80 miles per hour you get a better sense of the slightly terrifying concept of 1 – 2 tonnes of metal hurtling down the tarmac with hundreds of other cars. Its a very different experience.
Thank you for this sharing Jonathan. We have to remember it is not all about us on the roads and that consideration of others is just as important as ourselves and our needs.
I never saw adds like that , but now that you described as it is , its so true . Even when the adds show a traffic jam , the add shows their car as magic and small enough to go the back street where presto there is no traffic. I find part of road rage down to a person realising ( consciously or un consciously ) the power their essence has and through the extension of the car they see this , but do not use their power as a person and then get frustrated by this realisation and takes it out on other road users
Car driving is usually a good reminder of how much we fall for ‘get out of my way’ or ‘do not get in my way’ moments. While cars may isolate us from reality in some senses, in another, it also helps us to create a reality regarding the perception of others that we hold. A very clear case that shows that real and true are two different things.
Thank you. It does indeed make a huge difference if we let people in and support traffic to flow smoothly. Driving can be such a joyful experience. There really is no need for road rage and the more present we are with ourselves the less likelihood of any such thing occurring.
A superb analogy of how most go about our daily lives.
I stood for local council in the 2016 elections and did a lot of door-knocking and speeding was a really big issues. When I read this line – “Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?” – I remembered the comments and thought a good way to reduce speeding is to get the offenders to door knock homes and listen to how it is effecting the people. I know it worked for me – i have slowed down since I got personal on the effects it was having.
The way today’s world around us is set up it will always throw curve balls and challenges that can unsteady and destabilize us…and drive us to distraction, but by remaining steadfast and being open to the opportunity to learn with every challenge that comes our way we begin to see through these challenges and find the way on this road of life.
There is a peculiar situation happening on the motorways of the UK recently where the majority of people are driving bumper to bumper in the fast lane, it is so strange and reckless, I am not sure why this should be but must be a reflection of a pace of living that we are caught in that loses all rationale, because it literally makes no sense to be up the bum of another car doing 80mph! It’s like a level of frenetic busy has happened to us all.
What a gorgeous title – driven to distraction , and that is so true!
We think often that we are in a time capsule – isolated from the rest, being able to do everything we want and speak to people in all the ways we like. BUT, is that being responsible? And, are we not multiplying individuality in this way? Which is actually the opposite of what we need to do. And that by having this movement on the road everyday – we show the world that it is okay to be separative?
Hence, this blog comes in a very good time, leading us the way forward – by becoming aware of what we are doing – so that we can understand, feel what it is that we are choosing and that we can simply stop – and open ourselves up, to drive in brotherhood (consideration with and for the all).
This also exposes how tolerance merely hides a bank of frustration and rage that, under the surface, is just waiting to be unleashed.
I have the utmost respect for driving and really enjoy driving be it at the wheel or as a passenger, my husband gets quite annoyed with me for reacting too much to other drivers but I am super aware of all that is going on around me and it is true I do react too much to the activities of other drivers and it is actually a great reflection of how I am in life, when I can observe drivers I will know I have arrived at a deeper level of acceptance of life and surrender.
“Perhaps we start to believe the advertising blurb, that our chosen vehicle gives us superiority over others, and that it’s therefore necessary to remind everybody from time to time.”
When I read this, I was reminded that everything is energy, and that everything is because of energy. Which means that everything counts and adds to the mix. The advertisers for motor vehicles have put out this ideal about car driving, creating a picture for us all that we can be ‘king of the roads’, which can have an effect on us if we take on that picture. It highlights the energetic responsibility of both the advertiser and the messages they put out, and us as the consumers for those that we take in.
It’s funny how we find that when we are confined in our cars we sometimes forget that we are still a part of the larger picture found on the roads with other drivers. Driving with connection to ourselves and our intended destination brings a broader scope to the whole picture of the roads and also to the level of responsibility we choose to partake in.
Let’s face it there are a lot of very rude, aggressive, disregarding drivers on the road. At times, I have no issue with flashing my lights or tooting my horn, not out reaction (there have been instances of this, I will not lie) or aggression, simply saying hey that’s not okay or you’re totally distracted or going to kill someone.
I commute to work in my car and it’s a great lesson for me to drop any irritation, arrogance or whatever may be going on for me and just be present and honouring behind the wheel. Heavy commuter traffic requires me to be with others – I can’t just speed off! It’s great practice being in the word and accepting where we are all at. Driving with humility not self-interest.
What I am finding interesting is that the more present I am when I am driving in my car, it seems that I become more and more invisible to other drivers. But by holding myself in presence and not allowing other drivers to ‘rattle’ me, it offers an opportunity to other road users that there can be another way to be behind the wheel, even if it doesn’t always get acknowledged!
It can be really palpable when you can feel someone is angry or irritated with you or are driving aggressively… And it highlights for me the energetic aspect of our lives – how the way that we are in what we do and with one another does have a real-life effect!!
It seems the car can be the perfect so-called ‘bubble’ for venting the frustrations that brew inside us all day, seemingly ‘in private’. And yes, technically that might be so, but in truth there are no walls or boundaries and what we think might be being expressed solo is as much in the world as appearing separate to it. What we say and do there impacts us all.
It is funny (not) pondering about road rage and how people behave in their bubble of a car because it occurred to me that something similar can happen inside the seeming bubble of our houses. The phenomenon we call “domestic” violence is massive and your home and a member of your family are the ones most likely to murder or assault you and if that does not get you then it could be a motor accident. All our actions whether in a car, house or cave have consequences and affect us and others far more than we choose to be aware of.
If our car is symbolic of our body in motion, then our road rage is indicative of our unwillingness to let each other in.
Lol – I suspect there are many who would take offence at the suggestion that cars are mundane business Jonathan! I love your visualisation of the ‘individual capsule’. I like to think of them as ‘sofas on wheels’. In a similar vein I like to see beds as ‘sleeping platforms’. Casting the commonplace in a different light helps us free-up the meanings with which we imbue objects, and the pictures we have around them. That, and it’s fun. 😄🚘
In the last few years I have noticed something about my driving in that it reflects in a speed up version of how I drive / move around in and with my body on a daily basis. If I have been disregarding of myself I am much duller, heavy and sleepy behind the wheel, so much so that I can’t maintain speed or it is a real struggle to stay at the speed limit. When full and very loving with myself, and feeling that contentment within myself – strongest also after Universal Medicine events, I feel brighter, sharper and clearer as I drive.
Pavement rage and platform rage – this really made me chuckle. Where I live in Japan, it may be conducted in silence, but there is much push and shove that tells enough of what is going on underneath that would classify itself as pavement rage and platform rage. It hurts me not to be respected and/or given consideration and I often react with anger, and it feels even worse when I realise that by reacting I have added to the lovelessness at play. We may not be living it right now, but Brotherhood is our true way, and I can only do my very best try coming back to that truth and swimming like a fish without getting wet.
“But is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing?” Great question and the answer I would say is a definite no. If we begin to insulate ourselves from others, we think that we are protecting ourselves, but in fact it is the opposite. The more open we are the more protected we are, because we are choosing to not contract, to not be obedient to an energy that when we contract, can just have its way with us.
Great to read this again. It is a lovely, lighthearted reminder of ‘the bigger picture’ to which we are all connected as one.
“Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?” Yes – such a great point. I had this realisation a few years ago, I used to continuing speeding on regardless of what was around me, but realised how disrespectful it was when people drive really fast through small villages, or don’t dim their lights. This is the kind of world we want to live in, where we are considerate and always care that what we do ALWAYS effects another human being.
Such a common time to ‘check out’ once we are behind the wheel of the car. I know I used to play music always, flicking from station to station to make sure there was no gap in my ‘entertainment’. Really I just didn’t want to have a moment where I might feel how I was really feeling… these days that’s very different and while music is not an essential go-to, I still have to watch whether I am present in my body and fully with what’s happening around me.
Me too, I always have to watch that I am consciously present when driving from A to B and don’t consider the time in-between two places as less than the events at either end.
Yes I find driving one of the hardest times to be fully present, noticing that I used to always want the radio or music on, or to be chewing gum, or talking to someone on the phone… anything but be fully present. I still have that tendency to want some entertainment, rather than just being fully present actually driving the car.
Yep, I totally get all of those distractions… and then there are our thoughts, which are our ultimate entertainment and can totally lead you in the wrong direction (pun intended!). But what I find when I focus on being consciously present and driving it’s actually the most lovely experience, and a great way to form further my relationship with myself.
Yes totally relate to that too Meg… it’s like the lure of a holiday, having the space to go off on a little daydream. It seems harmless at the time and a welcome relief from whatever is going on in life, but I notice when i come back from a daydream, it’s harder still to be in my body. So the process is not supportive and there are no such thing as ‘out moments’ from life that we don’t pay a price for later.
Lure is exactly the right word, the truth is that when we daydream or check out we don’t actually know what occurs in that time – we think we can pop out and pop in and be in exactly the same place but we may be now completely off track.
Very true, when it was presented to me that those ‘out moments’ are the start of dementia, not only did that make sense, but I realised how many of them I had regularly. It was a significant stop moment. I now catch them whenever I can and no longer see them as appealing, however much I might not like whatever else is happening around me.
I find there is a lot more space to enjoy the drive when we are connected to our bodies and movements when driving. Preparation is a big one for me to making sure I do not feel rushed and giving myself enough time to get to my destination too.
I actually love being considerate now, and I love driving to the speed limit and not trying to get ‘ahead’ of other drivers, more being in the flow of life. It is very, very, very different to how I used to live! What I also love is how then you have a comaraderie with other drivers when you let them in and they put on their hazard lights to say thanks. It’s playful and sweet.
This should be the first article in every car magazine out there – a delight to read. It is shocking to see that if people have not dealt with their issues, emotional out-spills are triggered on the road and bad and bullying behavior endured. It’s crazy that speeding and parking can be fined but road rage goes on abusing others without repercussions as if there is no harm caused.
There are many gems in this blog. I loved the breaking down of what we are sold through the media about how our life or driving experience will be once we buy this car. I was also intrigued by the personality shift that happens in people when they drive. Why is it that in a car we get to see the frustration and aggression that is not dealt out in everyday life? It does seem that our cars afford us the illusion that we are in a bubble where we can do what we like, so long as we don’t run into anyone, no one will be affected. But how we drive, how present and considerate we are has a huge effect. We are never separate or not affecting one another, no matter where we are. Perhaps its this lack of energetic consideration that we are reacting to on the roads?
Thank you Jonathan for the timely gentle reminder to be consciously present when driving, at all times; your example sends a powerful message.
It is interesting how we go into our own little world when we are driving a car. I have often looked at the faces of people as they drive by and you can see their thoughts are everywhere but on the road ahead. Understanding how easily it can be to be distracted by thoughts and go into auto pilot, now, when ever my thoughts start to wonder I bring them back to my hands on the steering wheel or move my position slightly and I am back present with myself and focusing on the road again.
‘Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside.’ This is so true Jonathan…it seems that once driving a car our behaviours become magnified…is it possible that because we we live being disconnected once in the car it becomes more apparent?
When we are at home we think we can do anything we like and it won’t have an effect on other. Getting into our cars is very similar, except we are connecting with many more people and we think it’s not a personal connection. Conscious presence is important all the time, but especially important behind the wheel, given we travel at speed.
‘Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside.’ This is exactly what happens in life when we think that we are separate from others – purely because we are in our own ‘body’ and think we can get away with living in a way that is not considering ourselves as part of the whole.
Spot on Kylie Jackson! The lie we sell ourselves and others but the reality is we are part of a whole in every waking moment and the responsibility that goes with this does not slip when we are behind the wheel or in any of the daily tasks.
Great example of the illusion we happily abide by, that has us thinking that a wall is solid. Happy we are to tread along taking our comfort moments, believing what is behind closed doors is our business only. There is much responsibility that needs to be taken when the truth is seen and lived.
Reading over your words again Jonathan, I detected a nuance I hadn’t perceived before: the driven way we hurtle about, get angry and shout, may not be the cause itself but the end consequence of a root desire to numb and escape. So for those, like me looking to move forward honouring our body and soul, then the key seems to be bringing a willingness to enjoy and feel it all. Better not to double glaze and wind the window up – but engage, observe, stick your head out and sense what life is actually all about.
The price we pay for living behind a false veneer of niceness and politeness is a seething rage that is waiting to erupt when in the perceived safety of a chosen ‘capsule’, in this case our cars. This is not to say that we should not be kind and considerate of others for this is still very much needed in our world today, but more so that we need to live true to who we are and ensure that all of our movements, be they thoughts, words or actions, are an expression of this truth and not a suppression of it.
Yes, it does not matter where we go into a rage, it still affects us for quite a while afterwards.
Brilliant read – thank you Jonathon. I have re-read this many times…
Thank you Jonathan for sharing how we can quickly go into judgement of others and their actions but seldom ponder on our actions as well. What is pivotal here is not just the moment that we choose to speed but what were the actions and movements earlier in the day that lead to this behaviour.
It is so easy to blame another but when we stop to focus on our individual responsibility there is more to ponder on and a little more light at the end of the tunnel as to why these situations arise in the first place.
‘Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages? Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside.’ I have realised how hypocritical, if this is the right English word here, we can be. We judge others for the behaviours we use ourselves, I know when I used to ride on the bike I complained about the cars but the moment I was sitting in the car it was the other way around.
Jonathan I really enjoy your blogs – your observations are so astute. It’s so true that we think we live in our own little world or capsule and that our little world doesn’t effect every one else’s little world, but we are so wrong… we live in one big world and everything we do effects this world that we live, eat, breathe and move in.
I used to be this way getting really angry with other drivers, I am much less like this now but it is always a good indicator of where I am at as to how I react or respond to other drivers. I also have seen the best of people with driving when emergency vehicles need to get through traffic and everyone puts their immediate needs to the side and without any words action is taken to support the emergency vehicle.
How we are on the road is often a reflection of how we are living internally and the unresolved issues we carry. I was in a situation recently where a group of people were near a road observing an event, it was very quiet and still then a guy came along on a motorbike and revved it up in front of the crowd and screamed off down the street. Everyone recoiled as you could feel the abuse of this as the noise and vibrations hit the group. It was evident this guy was angry and this was his way of venting it on others.
I have recently noticed in my driving at times a push and anxiousness to get to my destination on time even though I have given myself ample time to get there. It is a great reflection for me to look into my livingness and the need to get somewhere.
Driving with a focus on being present in my body supports me to be more deeply connected by the time I arrive at my destination.
Jonathan this was a fun read and so common on the roads. What you have highlighted about the different types of energy is so important and how being aware of this can support us in our own awareness. Your choices regarding your quality of energy while driving and the choices you go on to make has a profound affect on others. I am sure there was no speeding tickets this trip home..
Everything we do is a reflection of us and if you suddenly turn into someone who rages behind a steering wheel then there would be other areas of your life where this is present – maybe just not at the surface.
That is a great point MW. At times I get surprised by my reaction to people, and it is easy to look at it as just one of those things that happens once in a while in driving.Yet where else in my life is this same quality of response reflected? Now that is an uncomfortable question, but so well worth asking.
There is an art to driving and one that we always have a choice to connect to or not, when we are aware of our surrounding environment and courteous to other drivers I like to think it brings a beautiful flow to the way I drive, and to the support I offer other drivers. By contrast I know there are times where I think, if I was another driver I wouldn’t like what I have done. Now there is the responsibility to ensure I am always driving in a way that does not impose on anyone else, and may even support others to feel less stressed behind the wheel.
I experienced a similar energy to road rage in my local swimming pool recently. It was quite busy so there was only one lane allocated for those who wanted to swim lengths. A few swimmers were determined to go at the speed they wanted despite the fact that there were others ahead of them going slower. The feeling was one of aggression that was quite unpleasant.
There are so many aspects to driving that show us about how we living. An example is how close we drive behind other cars. Do we leave enough space to stay aware and observe what is happening, therefore being able to respond to what is needed? Or do we drive too close because we have become distracted and lost our awareness of what is happening right in front of us?
What is the normal way of life is the collective choice of the majority. Conscious presence can absolutely be a normal way of life for us, we just have to start living it, and living it so commitedly that none of the madness can affect that sweet presence.
The quality of driving our cars is indicative and comparable to the quality in which we are in our bodies. Being consciously present in whatever we do is the key.
My driving and how I drive reflects how willing I am to be with humanity, do I speed past, which has been the case or do I be with everyone. I am learning to be ever present and open to everyone and so my driving is reflecting this also.
Great observations – it makes me think that the bubble existence of small time dictators in their cars paved the way for internet bullies who have taken isolation, delusions of grandeur and irresponsibility to a whole new level.
It’s a long time ago since I got my driver’s license but I can remember thinking that it was way too easy, and I still do. We are expected to know the road rules but there is nothing about the responsibility that we have to others every time we get behind the wheel of whatever we are driving. Driving our cars in a way that we want is, more often than not, not taking any account of the others on the road. Self responsibility and responsibility to others definitely needs to be part of the passing of our driver’s license test.
Your point about motorcyclists is very true Jonathan. I would never do it again, but I have had the experience of being on a motorbike on the road and yes, I felt extremely vulnerable if not downright terrified. Having that kind of awareness would wake many drivers up to the fragility of the human frame hurtling along at speed.
It’s an interesting question – why can our behaviour change so radically behind the wheel? Is it the privacy of a space where we can rant and rave as much as we like? Is it ‘having to deal with other people’? Or is it simply magnifying, through movement, a momentum we are already in, or long-held but otherwise privately-contained beliefs or thoughts?
“Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?”
This is a great question Jonathan and one that could be asked in many situations, are we at times so caught up in our own lives that we stop considering others?
I have never been one to chat and rarely have music on, I now really take the responsibility of driving a potentially dangerous weapon very seriously! This was helped by having an accident where I experienced severe whiplash, what damage can be done by a lack of concentration is actually really frightening. Seeing the footage of the lorry driving into three cars killing everyone in them because he was choosing his music selection is a horrifying watch and major wake up call to the importance of being present not just in our cars but in every interaction we have be it with a toothbrush or a T intersection.
“The British have always been noted for their patience and tolerance while queueing.” clearly then I am not British after all.
A great blog to show the illusion we chose to live in, ignoring the fact that we are all one. It’s the crazy illusion that we are only our physical body. Dare we look beyond….
We were talking about mileage and how many miles to a gallon a certain car would go and my friend remarked that I would never get a great mileage because of the way I drove. When questioned further he said I drove with urgency. This really hit home to me. I know that I often drive on the gears, accelerate too hard and brake too hard, this is not a great way to drive or to live, it wears out the car and me. I have been driving much more carefully since his remark and really enjoy taking it much easier.
Driving in my experience always shows up exactly what is my level of presence and connection. As soon as I get behind the wheel, I feel everything because I am brought to a level of responsibility and awareness that I can otherwise check out from… A great barometer of life, is driving…
The idea of ‘at home’ or ‘in my car’ or ‘inside myself’ I can do what ever I want, is based on the error of notice us as just fleshly human beings. But we are energetic beings and everything we choose is emanated. We in our cars in the traffic are a very good reflection for this.
The way behaviours change behind the wheel are very notable, so much so that really there is little relationship to how someone would act on the footpath compared to driving on the streets.
I can so relate to what you are writing about; I got a speeding ticket a few weeks ago, issued by a very courteous policeman on an Australian back road. It was a huge wake-up call as I don’t usually speed or, to be more precise, I don’t speed more than what I can get away with, the odd two to four kilometres above the limit. It really made me question my motives for this aberrant behaviour and I have mended my ways and – driving is actually far more enjoyable now.
Wow, looking at driving is such an effective way to see also how we are in the world. The anger, rushing and frustration we see is by no means limited to our streets and motorways. And what is our approach when we feel this energy? Do we shrink back and recoil? Or do we join in ourselves and simply make more? No wonder we want to escape this scenario. The funny thing is as you illustrate Jonathan, is wheverever we journey to, our attitude, annoyances, and frustrations come too. Whether it is driving fast or rushing about at work, distraction is only a short term relief, from the bigger journey we are on.
When we are not present it is very common for us to get distracted, with thoughts, looking back at the past or thinking about things in the future. Which when you think about it, is actually really unsafe. When we check out and go into distraction, it not only endangers us, but all those others on the road also. I now use driving as a great way to check in with myself, how am I feeling. If I do start distracting myself, it prompts me to ask, what is going on? And I can choose differently.
Bringing our complete presence to all that we do brings a clarity to our purpose and our movements thereafter mirror this. A very cool way to be drive, breathe and live everyday. Thank you Jonathon.
I had a big wake up call recently when I was driving and had momentarily allowed myself to be distracted by something off to my left. When I turned back a second later I was heading rather fast towards a car that had stopped in the middle of the road to turn, but somehow I managed to avoid what would have been a very nasty crash at the speed I was driving. Since then my observation level has been on high alert. I have been shocked at how often I look away from the road, something I probably have been doing for a long time, but something I am now so aware of and committed to removing from my list of driving habits, which now has conscious presence at the top.
Its amazing to see just how much we can disconnect from ourselves in the car and even more interesting to me is that we are in charge of a moving vehicle that is on the road with so many other moving vehicles and people within those vehicles. Being present and responsible allows us to see the bigger picture at play and distraction gets a back seat.
Interesting read. Looks like our way of being with each other is very much exposed by driving on road transport. Meeting others is always an opportunity to learn something – is it not?
My driving has changed too. This was due to being stopped by the police because I was driving faster than what I should have been doing. I was given a warning but it was enough for me to listen and change my ways whilst driving on the road. Although it was very uncomfortable at the time situations like this occur to support our evolution – I saw it too as an absolute blessing.
“But is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing?” An interesting question. It is being in the rough and tumble of life that shows our true colours.
I can see how the way I drive is reflective of how I am or have been. So if my day is off and I’m rushed then I will bring this to my driving and everything will annoy me. But if I allow space in my day, my driving is a part of this and I am not fighting with the car or driving conditions. This shows to me the importance of presence because I have a choice to drive with space and connection all of the time no matter what the external circumstances are.
Just like aggressive driving is felt all around. Considerate and presence driving can also have an equally impactful effect on road users.
“It wasn’t that his driving was aggressive, it’s just that he wasn’t present! He had allowed himself to disengage from the concentrated activity of driving “. This sentence stood out for me today. We go through so many aspects of life not staying present with ourselves – in other words checking out. It is no wonder that dementia and Alzheimers are going through the roof.
Every time I go for a drive it reveals to me exactly where I am at. I then have a choice to celebrate, appreciate, ignore or override all of this. Either way, what I observe can inspire me to go deeper.
We drive our cars no different to how we drive our bodies, the physical vehicle we use to transport ourselves around in here on planet Earth. As we have flesh that has a known and perceived boundary, we live under the illusion that we live separate to another, as we do when driving in the comfortable bubble of our car. Furthermore, and to our great detriment, we have incredible sensors in our bodies that far outshine the fancy mechanics of the best car, that are able to attune to every microscopic detail in our environment and give us valuable information about what is not only going on within us, but also all around us. But it currently seems to be the way for the vast majority of us that rather than appreciate and adore what has been so divinely gifted to us, we instead bludgeon our bodies with foods, behaviours and general ways of living that deaden and dull these senses so that they cannot be of use to us. In this state, we are the car going 100+ kilometres per hour with the windows up and our eyes closed. Not a recommended position to adopt as it cannot lead to a great outcome! All this because we choose to live dis-connected to our own bodies and all that they are constantly communicating to us but we can’t hear because we have the windows up, the music on and are going too fast. By becoming more consciously present in our vehicles, we are in a far better position to navigate ourselves safely and surely though life.
I find now when I drive, I’m not perfect, there are times I do rush, but for the majority I go at a speed that suits me, I don’t want to feel tension and anxiety in my body when I drive, I think if people want to drive crazy, that’s up to them, they can overtake me, it’s not okay and in truth completely arrogant and disregarding, but I am going to enjoy my drive and driving. There is a huge lack of care when people are driven, also in car parks as well.
Do people change when they get behind a wheel or do they in fact expose their underlying un-dealt with emotions?
Brilliant article on the ‘gentle art of responsible driving’. Love your anology “The motor car is certainly one area where each of us, confined to a bubble of isolation, can, if not checked, let arrogance reign supreme and become like Mr. Toad in ‘The Wind in the Willows’, who became a tyrant behind the wheel, terrorising the local population.”
Jonathan, “Road Rage” is something that is accepted as normal for many people, yet when you explain what happens when you get behind the wheel of the car and how so many of us change into “road monsters” so to speak it does raise alarm bells! What do we think gives us the right to treat everyone else so badly? And why do we want to put such stress on our bodies? I’ll be sure to remind myself this on my drive into the city this morning!
Well said MA. I am wondering could our disrespect and lack of decency on the road be a reflection of our lack of respect and decency in our relationships with others in our every day life?
And as I write this response Elizabeth I can feel my discomfort about someone I reacted to alot yesterday was because I was not accepting the fact that she was providing me a reflection that I don’t like within myself. Ouch.
I see no down side to being consciously present. I actually feel when I am with myself and driving I feel no need to communicate with anyone, although I do have quite and meaningful conversations. Life is full of glorious lessons like your speeding fine Jonathan. Fortunately thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon I no longer need a speeding ticket to get the revelations. Now I bring about changes in my life by the simple power of nomination.
Thank you Jonathan; I find the way I drive reveals a lot about how I am living. Being consciously present whilst driving has certainly made me a more responsible driver; just as being more consciously present in anything I do increases my quality of life. Thank you for the gentle, fun reminder.
It is so true Jonathan, that so many people, when they get behind the wheel of a car, almost take on a different persona and its as if there is a feeling that nothing can touch them. By putting oursleves into a metal box, we somehow think we become protected from the outside world, but as you have so rightly said, this is not the case. There is so much aggession, impatience and intolerance on our roads when it comes to driving cars, that it begs the question, what is happening to all this energy when we are not driving? It doesn’t just appear out of nowhere, so it must be present in our bodies somewhere the rest of the time. And if thats the case, what untold harm is it doing while it is not being expressed?
During this past month, the amount of congestion and accidents has noticeably increased on the roads, apparently this is throughout the UK as there are almost non-stop traffic reports constantly sending out alerts to be aware of accidents or miles of queues in various areas. Whilst out driving yesterday, it was interesting to observe the build up of impatience and frustration of the lack of flow in the traffic and the crazy way people are driving with horns blaring and gesticulations at other drivers. Is it possible that this lack of flow in traffic is symbolic of the lack of harmony in life?
It’s timely that I read this, as I am driving a distance this morning and I noticed yesterday in the car the myriad of distractions that were always being presented. Understanding that our car represents our ‘ vehicle of expression’ I will ponder on the reflection today which will have me connect to my driving and my body.
I loved reading this Jonathon and being reminded of the importance of conscious presence as we drive, I often catch myself beginning to check out especially on long drives, consistently checking in with myself has been key to staying present and aware whilst driving.
You are so right Jonathan, nobody ever made an ad for a car sitting in a traffic jam or tailgating another car on a highway at speed. Being in a car and feeling how checked out many drivers are, especially in a big city makes remaining present all the more crucial for two important reasons: certainly because of the risk of accident but also because of how easily reaction can occur and how this can affect the whole day.
Thankyou Jonathan, conscious presence, as taught by Serge Benhayon, has also made me a more responsible driver. For me the responsibility of driving really magnifies how out of touch with my body I can be (ie up in the mind) and not present and focused on what I am doing.
Love this blog Jonathan – a whole lot of wisdom seasoned with much humour and humility.
The feeling of someone tailgating is awful; even if you don’t see them you can feel the imposition, like someone pushing you from behind. The energy we choose to be, ‘drive’ in has an effect on all of us.
Jonathan I had never put two and two together before, when it comes to cars and it’s advertising. Reading your blog I felt how easy the wool gets placed over our eyes and how happy we are to leave it there. So many easy tricks that we happily follow when we walk in ignorance.
Your observation around people in their cars is brilliant. It is interesting why someone who is generally patient and good natured can act very impatient and angry when things don’t go their way while driving. My conclusion for this is that being encapsulated inside a car can give people the feeling of being separate from others and therefore increase the tendency to be disconnected to people as well. The tendency to zone out and day dream, not fully being present while drive I feel also contributes to road rage.
Jonathan love the post, the fact is for many of us driving is a daily activity and if we treat it like a chore to get us from A to B then we certainly don’t value the time we have in the car and often check out, I remember arriving places and not knowing how I got there. Sure that passes the time but the reality is I could have killed a few people on the way – its quite remarkable that there are not actually more incidents on the road. Bring in conscious presence whilst driving and not only do we feel better but my take on it is that we are for more responsible road users.
Jonathan, I love your sense of humour. Even the title says it all with ‘driven to distraction’ – and yes we certainly must watch ourselves to not loose ourselves in what ever it is that we do but especially so in driving.
I always love reading your blogs Jonathan, I have noticed how some people change their personality when they get behind the wheel of a car, they can become aggressive, angry, selfish short-tempered, there is a great deal to be said for a little patience and courtesy while driving, because it helps us all to arrive at our destination rather than some more quickly than others.
In my experience, and like everything – we always have a choice when driving – to respond or react. I know that based on how I am in my day will determine how I am with others. Yesterday I felt very aware in my body so when I drove and had to wait for other cars to pass before going, I simply waved at each driver and loved the communication. But if I’m not wanting to take responsibility that day, then waiting for others is annoying, people drive too slow, I don’t want people to look at me. Same road. different situation based on my choice alone.
It’s easy to be led into a false sense of safety and security when driving a modern car and really easy to become distracted and lose presence in what we are doing…when I think about how easily I switch off when driving and multiply that by (I am expecting) the majority of drivers its incredible to consider that there aren’t more accidents on the roads. Coupled with this is the aggressive mentality of overtaking and queue jumping is ripe for problems.
If we drive without presence on the road we need to consider what energy we will arrive in and also the quality of energy we are leaving behind for others.
Staying connected and open allows us to feel from our heart what is going. This also builds stillness within ourselves.
It’s true Jonathon in so many ways modern day technology insulates us from the importance of nourishing the quality and reality of our human connections and as a consequence we can get alittle bit spirited and lost in our own world and our own agendas. Agendas that ‘drive us to distraction’ and ignore the fact that others are on their own road and journey just like us – road rage is a great example of this with its everyone get out of my way I am coming through mentality regardless of where you have been or where you are going.
What you refer to Jonathon is quite revealing, and metaphorically points to the seed of all evil. Separate yourself from the true source of life, and anything is possible – whether it is merely road rage, or something much more sinister.
Quite interesting the difference in behaviours we can apply once behind the wheels. But we can see the same behaviour when people go online and comment on different webpages. The normal decency can suddenly evaporate and people show the most abhorrent behaviours and write in a way they normally do not. Maybe we have this held back discontent we feel we need to, or have the right to, spew out once we get the chance. Maybe we feel we have been treated wrongly in some way and have found a way to get our payback, be it in a car behind the wheels or in front of a computer screen.
Very rarely I have seen ‘pavement rage’ or ‘platform rage’ but road rage is something I have come across and even more ‘internet rage’. It’s like we have constructed loads of little pockets in life whereby we believe we can act in any way we want and be blind to the fact that we do affect everything and everyone outside of our bubble. So then I wonder, how does this attachment to the bubble perception feel because from experience when I box something in life, life has a way of showing me that I cannot box it, thus leading to frustration and blame rather than looking back and asking why I needed the box in the first place. Which then leads to – where does the need for the box/frame/bubble come from – if life is presenting that it is grander than any box and I am a part of life, what is it about being box-less I am avoiding?
I find my journey to and from work is a great reflection of how present I am, in the morning I still have a tendency to squeeze a last task in before leaving and then invariably hit more traffic whereas if I allow plenty of time the journey flows so much more smoothly or is it simply my presence or lack of it that is reflected back to me?
The marketing of cars comes with its own version of airbrushing i.e. getting rid of all the other vehicles on whatever road they are filming on! This is just as unobtainable as any models’ perfect bodies and just as misleading. We are being sold a picture of the perfect journey which is far removed from our experiences behind the wheel and is all about the image we will project if we buy that particular car rather than whether it supports us in our daily lives.
I too have been caught speeding more than once recently and at first I just put it down to being unlucky as I drive carefully and in consideration of other road users however in asking why I had been caught now I came to the same conclusion – that I was not fully present when driving and a little too comfortable in exceeding the speed limit on dual carriage ways and motorways. Despite the points and fines I also appreciate having being caught for the reflection it offered.
“But is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing?” – I think this is a great question to be asking! Sure it’s great to have comfortable cars but surely not so we can disconnect and be disrespectful and inconsiderate of others? It’s like the internet – a great tool that we have but it’s greatness depends on the way that we use it – the intention behind what we do…
The way we drive reveals a lot to us about how we are living if we allow ourselves to get the message. I know the times that I have gotten a speeding ticket is absolutely when I have “checked out” and am not in my body. It is not just about paying the fine but discovering why I did not want to be present in the first place.
Have we every stopped to wonder that driving could be a great opportunity to be on our own. Time to spend with ourselves in the fast pace world we live in. Time to sit and observe what is around us and take stock.
Thank you Jonathan for a great blog, I would like to think I am a careful and considerate driver on the road, but I notice when I do not leave enough time to get to my destination i can become impatient with slow drivers, who often seem to be in front of me, this impatience is a great reminder to me to leave plenty of time for my journey and stay connected to me behind the wheel.
I have become very aware how distracted I can be when I am driving. I think about all sorts of things as I drive, that aren’t related to me driving. I try to constantly re-focus my attention on my body as I drive and on continued awareness on what is around me as I drive. What’s interesting that when I am this way when I drive, I can read what is coming up and act before something arrives. Like I can see when someone is not going to stop or slow down. If I am rushing or checked out though when I am driving this does not happen. This highlights to me the importance of conscious presence when driving.
I love your comment – ‘Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?’ This really describes us all in a nutshell – we want others to be considerate of us, but we’re not prepared to have that same consideration of them. I like your way – and I agree we should lead by example.
I recently also have learnt the repercussions of driving whilst in reaction by being caught by a speed camera and I’m appreciative of the lesson
Jonathan you wrote: “Making an effort to be more considerate by, for example, giving way and letting people out of difficult junctions seemed to have a good effect.” Yes it has a good effect that is also my own experience. If I am more considerate when driving a car the other driver often responded immediately and for this short moment there is a calmness in all of the hectic around us.
I love coming back to read this article – how many of us are willing to see “being given a ticket” as something that is actually our fault, and something to learn from. All too often we want to remain angry at the policeman for having “caught us out.” And there is no doubt there are times when a fine does not really fit the supposed breach, but for the most part we cannot deny that such experiences are from our own doing. In this is the type and level of responsibility that underpins the esoteric way of life.
I’m sure many people have felt aggression or imposition from another driver at one time or another! And this alone proves to us that how we are, even when on our own in a car, has an effect on others – we might not be physically close or exchanging verbally but there is a communication and impact going on none the less.
Jonathan you raise a really important point here – driving with presence. I can feel how driving has become a habit and a way to get from a to b well before it is about how we are driving. How we get in the car or how we are in ourselves when we drive. By robbing ourselves of making the ‘habits’ important, we’ve done very well to make a life of comfort and checking out – when this is exactly the recipe that is making us sick in the world.
Driving does seem to change many of us and make us less considerate of others, it is like but not as extreme as computers, which can hold a higher level of anonymity where we see people being very abusive without checks and laws to properly stop it. It is perhaps that illusion of less accountability in a car, or online, as opposed to in a queue where we are right there next to others, but our measure for how we are in a car or online should mirror the responsibility we take face to face.
Driving has become my barometer for my level of self responsibility and presence leading up to getting into the car. Whether it is ducking up to the supermarket for a couple of items or a longer journey, I always appreciate what is being revealed. The way I close the door, place items on the seat, put on my seatbelt or back the car down the driveway all reveal the quality that I choose and therefore offer others.
It is amazing to feel, that when we drive with presence there is so much more to experience not only within ourselves but with all others that we are sharing the road with. True, at times there are unpleasant moments but it’s empowering to feel that no reaction is needed as we are simply able to observe, be able anticipate potential trouble and respond accordingly. Instead of the being fixated only with the tunnel vision through our windscreens, we are able to embrace all that can be seen and felt through the windows the surround us.
This is so true Carola Woods. The responsibility that comes with getting behind the wheel is often overlooked or shadowed by a myriad of distractions that leave us vulnerable to elements that cause delays and potential hazards on the road.
For many of us, being in our cars represents the protection we live with every day. A bubble we contain ourselves in where we cannot be touched, surrounded by the comforts and distractions that keep us held into believing we are powerful whilst driving in our cars. Yet what if our cars offer us the opportunity to feel our bodies, connect to who we are and how we move in relationships with those around us? Then our cars would represent an extension of the relationship they have with our body and offer us an opportunity to deepen and reflect on this relationship as we move in a way that honors the connection to who we are, to who we all are.
I used to push and race my way on the road, becoming frustrated by drivers going too slow and holding ‘me’ up from getting somewhere else. As whilst in my car it was all about me, where I was going, the lane I was in, how fast I wanted to go, all totally disconnected to me and the other drivers, who also had places to go on the road which were designed to be shared together. When I began to choose to drive with more presence, more connected to me and my inner-heart, I discovered driving was a joy as the space opened up for me to simply be with my loveliness, as there was no rush to be anywhere else through which I could and feel the other drivers and the purpose they also had on this shared strip of bitumen. I now enjoy being able to connect with other drivers and at times even make eye contact, for example when someone lets you turn. This feels far more respectful and honoring in my body, with much less tension and angst, and to be honest so much more natural and fun.
This is a great point Jonathan of how advertising does often target our need and desire for competition and comparison, that if we buy ‘their’ car we will be better than the rest and we will achieve a seeming sense of fulfilment. Is it not odd to think that we will be and feel complete when we are further in separation? An illusion that fools us into believing that we will instantly become someone else or even greater than, if we own an object.
I have recently started a job that requires me to be ‘on the road’ a lot more and have been observing how I have been driving and how I leave myself not a great deal of time to get to my destination, which means that I end up speeding. I haven’t driven like this since my early 20’s and have found that I need to pull myself up and look at what’s going on when I am behind the wheel. It all becomes about the destination and the push I put my body in to rush feels terrible. Yet when I allow myself the time to get to the other end don;t rush and enjoy the drive. I feel quite different when I arrive. It’s very easy to check out too when you drive. I don’t know how many times I arrive somewhere to not recall anything about the journey at all. It’s an interesting little snapshot of life.
It is quite surprising really how quickly we can lose our conscience presence when driving, with the best of intentions we are easily distracted. Driving when fully aware and present is such a joy.
Thank you Jonathan for highlighting this issue; let’s see if we can change the culture on our roads.
If I am a vehicle for love, then anything I do will be either with that love or not. Sometimes the urge to drive fast is strong, I love the feeling of sailing along the roads…. but, as you say Jonathan , the feeling of when everything is done in conscious presence brings a timeless flow that surpasses any momentary high.
Love it Jonathan what you have shared about Road rage as it is really something that is increasing – I can observe it in my daily drive with myself and with others. It would be a good idea if the driving instructor would also teach about the part with being conscious presence.
It has helped me to ponder that the driver most annoying on the road to me is someone I know and they are about to recognise me and turn around and wave at me any second. Connecting to the person in the ‘other car’ has been a great way for me to check my frustration and bring patience back, which feels way better in my body.
I am re reading your article Jonathon, and tonight the part that stands out is how much, we as human beings live and function in life and yet are not consciously present with our body as we go about the many activities we engage in. I have pondered much on my own level of conscious presence and how practicing this has changed much in how I am, what I am aware of and how I respond in the world. Yes, driving is an area where conscious presence is definitely needed, along with a huge dose of care and consideration for everyone else on our roads. But really this is but a snap shot of one activity we do, what if we applied the same presence to all of our activities? Could it be possible we then begin to palpably enjoy our lives, people and what we are doing.
Beautiful Jonathan, brilliant really. The whole illusion of being alone in the world behind the wheel – is just outed! I have to admit – equally for mine. Road rage is so common, and most of the time more aggression is sent to a person unknown (because we can not hear it and sometimes even not see it!) then known! So super important to become aware that everything is energy – and that everything is felt by anyone, being behind the steering wheel or not.
Road rage has a lot in common with cyber-bullying. Someone thinks they are on their own, that no one can see them, and so they can let the frustrations and anger out. Truth is we are all seen, all the time. Anger and frustration are signs of great disharmony in one’s life, a red flag if you will that something is there to be resolved.
Yes Great blog Jonathan. It has always amazed me just how angry people can get in such a short time. I recall a friend of mine who presented as sweet and lovely turning into a completely different person once behind the wheel. At first I thought she was joking but soon learned this was how she drove. . It showed me what was really brewing just below the surface, though she never screamed at people on the sidewalk when we were walking along the street. It is quite extraordinary and confirms that it is well worth working on being present when driving as it is after all a potentially dangerous endeavour.
One of my favourite blogs – so insightful. Thank you Jonathan Cooke.
You’re so right when you point out that as soon as we get behind the wheel of car we are in a protected bubble, feel invincible – until that is another driver brings immediate danger into our direct field. We cannot control how others will be on the road, but if we try, that’s when the judgement and ‘road rage’ kicks in. All we can do as you say is to stay present, aware, considerate – this can be felt. and I like you feel that this inspires others to behave in the same way.
You’ve shown us what an illusion it is to even think we are individual, we are all in this life together and the road we drive on is a very good example of how we are with each other..not as one.
Absolutely brilliant what you’ve exposed here Jonathan. This explains so simply how we can very easily go into road rage if we choose to feel disconnected to other drivers and people. When we start to identify with the thoughts of ‘us’ and ‘them’ mentality this is actually a choice to feel separate from others which can drive us to behave inappropriately and or in abusive ways. Our car and driving is a great example of this whenever we choose to separate from others we are already deeply disconnected.
Coming back to this blog again Jonathan I am noting too how perfectly ordinary and lovely people can change behind the wheel! There is a sense of entitlement, isn’t there when we get into the driver’s seat? To bring it back to all of us and how present and connected we are and how that affects everyone else is a very important point to have made – basic consideration alone is something that needs to be considered when we are in our cars!
What I considered after reading this article is just what comes up for me when I am driving, as it is quite revealing and the issues that may seem isolated to driving always seem to point back to how I am in living in the world. I have always considered myself a ‘bad driver’ but maybe I am just choosing distraction over the multitude of detail that is on offer.
I love the points you make about driving with responsibility Jonathan. Although we perceive ourselves to be encapsulated in a ‘capsule’ whilst driving, in reality, not only does the outside world reflect every move or gesture we make, it feels everything. Recently I was in a hurry, I was driving in the early hours of the morning so felt I had an excuse to drive faster than the limit through the little sleepy villages where I live. It then dawned me on that the energy I was in whilst speeding was felt by everyone in their homes, and the responsibility of this is huge. I slowed down and reached my destination right on time. I have also noticed that when I am in a rush there is always a slow moving vehicle, and where I live it is usually a tractor, right in front of me, which I take as the Universe giving me a sign to slow down. Reaching our destination safely is far more important than causing energetic chaos along the way.
I actually love to drive and rarely do I have road rage, but on occasions when someone might pull out dangerously in front of me or do something really stupid I surprise myself with the harsh language and the speed at which it comes out of my mouth…..bringing to my attention my need to be more consciously present while behind the wheel, and in all truth more consciously present throughout my day.
Jonathan, Awesome blog, how great to expose the difference in human behaviour between being in a queue, or queuing for traffic. I too hope your choice to be more present, aware and caring while driving becomes a world wide virus.
Great blog Jonathan. A reminder that it doesn’t matter how sleek the vehicle you are driving but which fuel you use that can result in over heating into road rage and disregard of other road users or driving gently aware of every other road user and inspiring others to do the same.
What struck me Jonathan was the difference between the energy you felt in the Lighthouse compared to what you felt out there in the world and what we choose to accept as normal when it really isn’t at all. It really isn’t normal for us to be aggressively launching our cars at one another and using them as missiles to intimidate each other simply because we’re not dealing with whatever it is that’s going on for us.
Jonathan your blog is such a timely reminder to stay connected to myself, whatever I am doing; to stay connected and allow things to unfold before me. The example of you on the roads, going from distraction to heightened awareness is very powerful. I appreciate you sharing your story.
I have found I am not fully present when I am in a car and not aware of other drivers and I see this happen A LOT on the roads, just this evening I saw a car in front of me throw an apple core out their window which hit a car that had been driving parallel to them on the highway for a few minutes. They simply had no idea that there was a vehicle right beside them.
I know all too well how easy it is to lose patience in a car. I can’t explain it, I don’t really know why I think I have the right to lose my cool, judge slow drivers and basically display my arrogance on the road, because I don’t tend to do it when not in the confines of the capsule. Perhaps it’s the safety of being locked away, which actually feels quite cowardly actually.
If this drive to distraction has a final and ultimate destination, surely we have arrived. When you look around and feel how we are on the roads, its like so many of us just aren’t there. And what comes across in your words Jonathan, is that this fractured way of being, applies not just to the motorway but every part of our life. What would it be like if we to consider re-routing our map and making a plan to return to Love? This is a journey we can undertake anytime anywhere, and the ride, whilst it may not always be smooth is certainly even and respectful of all the others we pass on the roads.
We can sometimes allow ourselves to become insular beings when we are in our cars, forgetting that we are apart of a much larger picture together on the roads. Staying connected to ourselves in our cars allows us to remain connected to everyone equally, sounds like a road rage free ride to me?
When I read this ‘the motor car is certainly one area where each of us, confined to a bubble of isolation, can, if not checked, let arrogance reign supreme”, I saw how easily this can be applied to other areas especially the internet and trolling. I recently met someone who had been trolling me and he struggled to look me in the eye but online is quite abusive and forthright.
I am currently out in Vietnam, where, although the roads are full of people, cycles, motorbikes, cars and taxis, I have never witnessed an accident. Indeed apparently the accident rate is very low here, considering the numbers of people in this country. Despite the busyness, everyone has an eye out for everyone else on the roads and they weave in and out of each other in a seemingly effortless flow. Responsibility for oneself on the road together with looking out for each other – a great traffic system despite the apparent lack of coordination….
How often did I look across my right and left shoulder to check if I was seen, before I did something that I was very aware of it being not ok. It’s a weird thing about isolation that makes us feel safe to act in harmful manners, be it towards ourselves or others. Being enclosed by a car is a revealingly beautiful symbol for this!
I wonder if it is possible to get a false sense of control when driving, a control that may be frustratingly missing in day to life, and which leads a person to abusive behaviour behind the wheel?
In personalising our existence and focussing on what hurts us in life, we lose connection with the fact that deep down, every human being is fundamentally the same, and every human being is fundamentally deserving of love.
You have set a person not indicating properly, or taking off too slowly from lights in its proper context Adam.
The same reaction that causes us to “give the finger” to a passing motorist who has supposedly done us injustice, is the same reaction that leads to war. It is exactly the same.
There is no sliding scale of reaction in this world, other than the one we have made up in our heads.
Driving with presence and awareness of all around us sounds like a beautiful way to drive for me. Thank you Jonathan I loved reading your blog.
It seems that the way we have designed cars over the years keeps encouraging us to be more and more insular.
My husband and I own new cars so we are not anti modern cars in any way but I did notice the difference when driving our 1962 Valiant recently and couldn’t help but clock how social and intimate the car was.
There I was tucked right up into my husband, his arm around me, windows down, as there is no air con, all the kids right there with you, no head rests or built in screens or tinted windows or subwoofer/sound systems. Just the family interacting and people wanting to interact with us, as the car is open and ready to engage, not hidden. It reflects to me that although we seem to be advancing in some way we are actually stepping further away from the interconnectedness that is our true nature.
Very true. I can barely hear the engine in my newish car, it is so soundproof. The windows are tinted one step off gangster black, making it light proof. It tells me what is going on with the engine, so I can be virtually attention and care proof. I am air-conditioned into weatherproofness.
Yep, a little mobile bubble of me, me and me.
I used to love driving with my ex in his Mini Moke, wind in your hair, replete with bugs! Now that is air-conditioning! Rough as guts, impossible clutch, slow, rattly and noisy, but it was good fun and you could not but be connected to the world around you.
Yes there are defiantly pros and cons to the old classics, our Val is ‘three in the tree’ as they use to call it and you really have to be in our power to drive it as there is definitely no power steering! Lots of fun though!
Huge fun. But we can always connect, even in our modern lounge-mobiles. Just a choice really.
Totally, there are no excuses, connection and connectivity are our natural state of being. Plus I would not be complaining if someone was to gift me an awesome new set of wheels.
A very insightful blog Jonathan, one in which I enjoy coming back to as, yet again, I am reminded of being consciously present in all that I do in every moment.
Driving with presence would certainly reduce the road toll considerably
When I’m driving I can feel the opportunity that we are offered to be in order with each other but am amazed at how few accidents there are when in truth you can feel the real level of disorder and disregard with which some people drive.
There is so much distraction available today, in an instant our minds can be dazzled and entertained by a myriad of things. It therefore takes discipline and commitment to stay present, but this is no holy grail or nirvana place of achievement, this is an ongoing daily practise because the distracted life is always there imposing its might against what is essentially our most natural state of being.
Shami, you sum it up beautifully, remaining focused at the task you are doing can often be a challenge but one I will continue to pursue as it is very rewarding and creates more space to breathe through out the day.
Amazing writing Jonathan, you make us awake and aware of what is really going on when we are not consciously present when driving and how these effects are felt and given to people around us. The superiority, I recognize, and so I am very aware of that I have been living in that way thinking I am all driving my life by myself, with lots of true consideration of others. Thank you for being so honest with us and share what is going on, when we observe closely, it is time to be real and face our choices and the effects it is having on us, also when it is not having good effects too!
I have noticed the level of distraction increasing among drivers along with increase in road rage or impatient drivers. I find it concerning that I am continually surprised when somebody lets me in or has decent road manners as it is certainly not the norm. I may be wrong but it does feel like people are not coping with their lives and this is clearly seen in the way they drive.
Yes, great point Samantha, it is a reflection of the way we live.
Yep, it’s true, we are often surprised by the decency of another, particularly on the road as in general, everyone is always in a hurry, including myself. It’s crazy what we are willing to accept.
I find it revealing how so many can be calm and casual in life in general yet behind the wheel the anger, frustration and resentment all come out in bucket loads. It is as if we live as though that rage is not there but it must be because it has got to come from somewhere!
I have never had road rage, in fact the only time I have ever used my horn was when I leaned on it accidentally. I do however seem to incite road rage in others. I am often being beeped at and shouted at, it really scares me and pressures me even more when I am nervous on the road. I takes a long time for me to turn out of busy streets and that’s when people get angsty. I can see that the way I drive is very scared and guarded, which although is not obviously contributing to road rage, in a way it is because it’s a contraction that encourages rage in others.
I am with you on that one Sarah. I love driving, but those right hand turns on to busy streets stress me…mostly when I have that frustrated, pushing person behind me. That might blast their horn or shout, or keep edging up closer until it feels like they are going to end up in the back seat. But you can feel it anyway. That is when I become very small and hard, tense hands gripping the wheel and prone to bad driving decisions.
I am a little embarrassed to say that I avoid those runs, find another way to drive…but why the heck am I doing that??
Let people wait! Seriously, how long is that wait? An extra 30 or 40 seconds to be safe and make the turn without compromising anyone?
Yes, I agree Rachel, it’s important to let people wait, as we can’t let the pressure define our decisions or compromise safety. I do feel however if I approached the right hand turn with more confidence (and that begins with the way I get out of bed in the morning) then something would open up for me and flow with my turn. I will often be sitting there and I will miss wide open opportunities as I am too overwhelmed to commit to them fast enough and I am affected by perceived pressure. When my husband is driving, no-one gets grumpy as every decision he makes he commits to.
I can feel I am holding out, in a fearful type of protection and reaction to life, ironically what I am holding out of is a natural flow that if I committed to would be way safer way to drive than the approach I have adopted currently.
I agree Sarah. In that state of confidence we are in the slipstream of life. We go with opportunities as they present themselves. No tussle or hesitancy.
Driving is the best metaphor for life. My doubt about “difficult right turns” shows up in other areas…the funniest thing is that I am a very capable driver, and very capable in life…I just play fast and loose with doubt. For what reason?
I am the same, I am actually a really good driver but still chooses to play these games. Its very revealing actually about the way I live.
I feel that like everyone is a good driver underneath it all, its just that most of us just haven’t been given the grace to discover it yet.
This experience alone feels hugely revealing as to how little we generally take responsibility, true responsibility that is, for all our actions and choices as a general populous. It is so seemingly easy to blame another, but it really does not get us anywhere as a society when we are just tooting horns at each other all the time
Hilarious Joshua, but also very poignant and touching. Yes, we toot far too much when understanding is the way.
I think some of us may toot because we feel like we have the car to hide behind, you certainly would not shout at someone for not moving on the footpath….wild really.
Knowing that everything I do or think leaves an energetic imprint on earth I am very alert when driving on streets or highways. Imprints from former drivers could be imprints of impatience, anger, frustration etc. and being consciously present I set a new marker on the street for everyone else passing the same spot. That’s alchemy!
Yes this is a beautiful way of approaching driving Felix, In fact this is a beautiful way to approach life.
The moment I have angry, impatient drivers behind me, I breathe consciously and observe rather than absorb. This technique, as taught by Serge Benhayon, helps me a lot in traffic, so I don’t have to harden my body in protection.
This is a great technique, because there are times when you feel so much pressure from other drivers to speed or take risks. I also feel my fingers on the wheel, how my feet are placed, and how my shoulders are placed in relation to my ears.
My whole driving experience has changed over the last few years, I am more connected and present with my driving, I constantly check in with my mirrors and my hand on the driving wheel. My speed is also a lot slower. I am less stressed and find I am no longer stressed by other drivers anymore. Before I was always in auto pilot, my mind working overtime, having constantly to watch my speed and getting upset with other drivers.
I made the same experience, my speed is according to the limit that is allowed and I notice that I don’t get angry with other traffic members. I arrive at my destiny knowing where I’ve come along, whereas before I would step in the car, check out and come back to presence at arrival (or did I?!).
Haha felixschumacher8 I recall driving home one evening and getting out only to find I was standing out side my recently moved out of address! So needless to say my past self can relate to your past experiences.
Very insightful Jonathon Cooke. I loved reading this. It is only when we see ourselves as separate that we think we can abuse another and that it is OK. Were we to understand how truly connected we are, we would not be remotely capable of some of the behaviour that we pass off as normal, let alone abusive.
Yes, the fact we are in these protected little bubbles does not mean it gives us the right to act like an A grade you know what!
Nevertheless, guys that would usually just stare at you, yell lewd comments out the window at you instead, I think is because they can speed off it makes them feel like they have escaped responsibility. This is not the case as energy always catches up with us.
presence is so important, as it truly determines the way we cope with situations, being present makes us constantly aware of all that is going on, as there is no time to get caught up by past or future.
Sometimes I wonder who is driving my car, not because I go into road rage but because, I can suddenly find that I am way above the speed limit because I have momentarily checked out, I am thinking of something else. On short journeys I can even start off too fast because of my focus on ‘having to get somewhere.’ This is very irresponsible and potentially dangerous. Time to bring more focus to my driving and thus more care and consideration to myself and all others.
Very good observations Jonathan. You are right – so many people, the moment they get into a car, they become another person, you can’t recognize them any more. Recently I found out for myself, that when I consider myself in the car as one piece of a bigger whole, then my driving is much more flowing. I don’t consider myself as a separated human being in a car any more, that feels much better.
I love this blog, and especially the image of the mild mannered Mr Toad from Wind in the Willows.
He was one of my favourite childhood characters, who if I remember correctly was led so far astray by worship of his car and the resulting road rage that he ended up having to impersonate a washer woman and nearly lost his great home….Perhaps recommended annual reading for all drivers.
Such a great metaphor for life Jonathon – and what you expose is the hypocrisy that we live with on an almost daily basis. We live – for the most part – in a centralised bubble of existence, desensitised to the fact that it in doing so we contribute to the world being the way it is.
Yes Adam to do nothing is to do something and in this case it’s accepting and condoning the way society and humanity are in that choice to remain silent and insulated.
The other day I broke the bubble, I was taking a corner in a suburban street and a cyclist was in my blind spot, I did not see them and came close to hitting them. As soon as I clocked what had happened I wound down my window and drove slowly up beside the cyclist, she was angry but then shocked that I was so apologetic. I asked if she was okay, she dropped the anger as she was met we so much love, she was genuinely touched.
that is a great story Sarah. I watched an interaction between two people last night. The woman came to the opening of a store underneath her apartment and met the owner. She was at first angry and concerned that the noise from trading would affect her. But rather than get defensive, the store owner simply met her, and assured here that should there be any problems, she should ring him directly. I watched as her anger dissipated. So often our issue is not so much that we are hurt by what has happened, but that our hurt was not recognised. In other words, we were not met as we felt we should be.
This is so true Adam, when you observe or are involved in these little interactions on the street and in the world and you read between the lines most angry people are just crying out for love. I get it in the cafe I own. Some people come in and they are super upset if something is not right with their meal or coffee and they expect you to be short with them, when you do not and you treat them with deep care and love the angst customer turns into the cuddliest teddy bear in the room.
That’s a great demonstration sarahraynebaldwin of just how love conquers all. Though I hope you were focused on the road while stalking her to apologize.
Your a crack up, I was going so slow that I had nearly pulled over, if I did hit any pedestrians they would have been knocked over pretty lightly and lovingly so it’s possible I did but didn’t notice …haha
There are people that live in such a protected way that the first thing they expect from the world is conflict. Anger attracts anger, and we could say by observation of people that anger is a natural way of being. Except, when you really look at it, anger takes a LOT of effort to sustain. It is exhausting to remain angry, and is very difficult to remain so. And yes you can do it, and you meet people that are permanently angry. But once again, the fact that an angry person can be disarmed with a simple loving comment and a moment of true connection shows where true power lies, and what is our true inherent nature. What these examples show is how naturally people return to a state of grace when they let in someone’s love or loving action. I see this all the time. And yes, they may soon go back to being angry, but as I said before, that takes effort to do so. You have to hold onto your hurts, onto your feeling of betrayal in order to remain angry. It is no wonder when you are angry you clench your fists, and tighten your muscles. You are having to put a huge effort into holding onto a way of being that is just not natural.
Adam, you rock, this is how it is and you nail it when you point out how easy it is to bring people out of anger with a caring gesture. To me its like an ice cube, it appears so hard and real and solid and unbreakable but you tip some warm water over it and it just melts. In fact it will melt itself slowly in time if left alone unless you put the effort in to refreeze it constantly.
Ouch! So true Adam! We absolutely do live in a world of hypocrisy and I have to get really honest about how much I contribute to that.
This is a great blog for me to read this morning, I am going on a long drive today. It’s an awesome reminder for me to practice being consciously present and taking note of how I am when I am driving.
Driving is a great time I find to practice concious presence. I used to recall, before when I use to drive, my mind would constantly be active, one thought after another. My diving felt stressful and tiring. Now the feeling is completely different.
Brilliant blog Jonathan and brilliant observation. This is so, so true how we often change when we are behind the wheel of our car, it does seem to give us that feeling of being separate from everyone and our behaviour can then easily change. It’s so interesting when we feel separate from others our aggressive behaviour increases. This is amazing to be aware of and being consciously present helps us connect back to the reality that we are actually not separate but deeply connected to everyone.
Such a much needed blog Jonathan as it seems that road rage is as prevalent in Europe as it is in Australia. To be honest I know that I have been guilty of it from time to time when I have become very frustrated by the driving habits of other drivers. I have been focusing lately when situations arise on what’s there for me to notice (both in and outside myself) that is a priority in terms of its connection with other stuff that is going on in my life. As I deliberately slow myself down I am often surprised at what comes up in the space I have created. It’s such a great learning for me and definitely much easier on the other road users around me.
I do enjoy coming back to this blog… Because we do drive most days it is such a part of this, and it is either an opportunity to go into old patterns, or to reconfigure ourselves to go onto a new awareness of conscious presence in such a pivotal part of our lives
It’s true most of us drive everyday and it is easy to go into auto pilot and not realise we could be slipping back into old patterns. It definitely is an opportunity for us to reconfigure ourselves with more conscious presence being behind the driving wheel.
Yep so true. One year ago I lost my licence for an accumulation of points I’d collected along the way. I didn’t drive for 3 months as a result and when I got it back, although I was much more conscious of being in the car, it was amazing how quickly the old habit of being impatient and even aggressive on the road came back. Literally within a few minutes I was already annoyed by the drivers around me not doing what I wanted them to do.
Thank you for sharing these statistics Dianne. It is important we have awareness of these things that are escalating in leaps and bounds daily – not only on the roads, but in everyday life there is more aggression, mental illness, violence, illness and disease becoming the ‘accepted normal’ behaviour.
“So this is not ‘just an occasional isolated incident’! We certainly need an upgrade in loving presence on the roads, by everyone”.
I guess the ultimate ‘distraction’ is when one is in ‘road rage’, carrying the emotions from some past situation and spewing it out onto everyone else on the road. I just found a full-page article in the NRMA motoring magazine that discusses road rage and its harmful effects. The stats are pretty scary: 70% of motorists in a survey had been exposed to road rage in the last 12 months, and in a quarter of those incidents children under 15 were exposed to it. Of the 1,300 people surveyed, 40% admitted losing a degree of confidence while driving, 12% had their sleep affected, and 10% felt more aggressive towards others. So this is not ‘just an occasional isolated incident’! We certainly need an upgrade in loving presence on the roads, by everyone.
Dianne those statistics are definitely showing us that they are not just an occasional isolated incident. Maybe this could be something that the driving school could introduce when going for your driving training and test. To implement some practical tools to keep your presence when driving. Well if we are going to look at it like this it would make more sense to bring it in from when we are born to be taught to focus on what we are doing and the quality that we are doing it in. Since all is energy everything will affect everyone else. Makes you stop for a moment and go yeah let’s be present.
It can be really scary Dianne I agree, to the point where I have been careful not to look at a driver near by when stopped in traffic because of the feeling I get of them being on the brink of exploding. It seems that capsule, the car, around us, can be a pretty thin bubble of protection, both when stopped and at speed!
Wow Dianne, those stats are a bit of a wake-up call (!), however it also made me consider that we don’t only take our emotions from past situations with us out on the road…. We often take these emotions with us whatever we happen to be doing. The fact that it’s simply perhaps more noticeable when we’re out on the road doesn’t mean that we should limit more loving presence to on the roads, but everywhere we go!
Wow, those statistics were an eye opener. It shows just how many of us are affected by what happens on the road and says a lot for being aware of this quality by being more (a lot more!) consciously present.
Wow Dianne, those stats are confronting. When we analyse stuff in numbers, we start to get a picture of how common certain behaviours are and then there is no room to pretend that, as you say these are isolated incidents, as it’s actually happening all of the time, every minute of the day. So much more is going on here.
I love the way you write Jonathan your observations are a joy to read. Having a car arrive on your back seat was a sure sign that the guy was immersed in his own world and not fully present. it is so easy to be distracted when we are in a car and let our thoughts run ahead of us and it is only when we have a crash or a knock and we are brought back to reality, and wonder where we have been.
Totally agree alisonmoir – it’s hard not to be aware of the obvious when someone ends up in the backseat of our car that was not invited! The point is, do we take note of the obvious stop or do we keep driving exactly the same, only to find ourselves one day with a bigger stop and perhaps having someone end up on our lap..
Thank you Alison and Angela – from reading your comments I went back and re-read the blog through a couple of times over and have enjoyed a truly deep chuckle from enjoying the grace and humour in which Jonathan expresses in his writing. Jonathan you certainly bring awareness and presence to driving with this gorgeous blog. I never tire of reading it!
“It wasn’t that his driving was aggressive, it’s just that he wasn’t present! He had allowed himself to disengage from the concentrated activity of driving and act as though he was at home in his living room!”
I notice when I drive with conscious presence I always arrive at my destination in plenty of time and even the traffic seems to flow to my benefit, I suppose that’s a bit like every other aspect of life when we are present.
It would seem that just as some feel that from behind a computer they don’t need to be held accountable or hold responsibility for their own action that the same happens while closed in a car. The door gets shut to responsibility as well as the stillness within.
I have noticed there is less of that sense of community, connection and togetherness in our society and more people living as individuals just doing their thing. It’s no wonder this is also reflected in our driving.
There is no doubt that it can be quite difficult to be totally present and stay calm and serene when challenged “by a palpable energy of aggression and intolerance”. There are many lessons for us when we are aware and present whilst driving.
Driving now is an opportunity to feel and connect, and a vehicle of great reflection that shows me where I am at, and is a fast track of learning.
I feel the same cjames2012, I just had a conversation with someone the other day on how the car is a place where I reconnect and feel where I’m at, how I got there and breathe gently to come back to my stillness.
We can learn so much about ourselves and others by the way we drive. My driving has changed considerably over recent years, I have also become more present and considerate although I still like to plant my foot from time to time.
I find myself doing things in a car or on the road that i wouldn’t do in other areas of my life, like speeding or sneaking in front of people – It is as if the car gives me some anonymity. I guess it could be likened to cyber bullying I choose to behave differently on the road because I think I can get away with it, which is far from the truth, I have been on the receiving end of abusive drivers and it can fell awful – and therein lies a level of responsibility.
Driving home tonight I saw a car with tape on its bumper where it had broken, it felt a bit like a plaster stuck on it and I wondered if they were going to get it fixed or leave it like that, knowing how expensive any car work is. That made me realise even though it costs us money we get our cars fixed … or some of us try and leave it for as long as possible because of the expense! But with our bodies we more often do not know about the damage we have done until we are ill, even if we try and ignore it for as long as possible inevitably the way in how we have been living will start to show. To me seeing that tape stuck on respresented how we treat our bodies .. bandage them up and keep on going! It is great to know someone (Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine) are dedicated to bringing that self-love and self-care back to humanity. It is greatly needed.
The ‘Bandaged Bumper’ that you saw Vicky is a great analogy, as you say, for the way we often treat, (or don’t) our hurts in life.
I just read the following words in another blog which I found to be an amazing complement to your blog Jonathan. It is called “Caught Speeding”,
“Gradually I began to understand that self-responsibility is about being aware of what I was doing and making decisions around what I had chosen and that I don’t have to act the way I always have. I got to understand that if I am aware of what I’m doing and how I am being, then I can choose how I will behave and act. . .”
Here is the link: http://truthaboutsergebenhayon.com/2013/01/16/caught-speeding/
Thank you Jeanette, it was after reading this blog that I was inspired to write mine!
What you have highlighted here about drivers being less consciously present these days stood out. The city in which I live, has the men who do the road side lawn mowing with ride on mowers protected from behind by two very large trucks with big flashing signs on their backs. The drivers of these trucks also wave orange flags from their windows in a bid to get drivers to slow down and notice that there is roadside work going on ahead. The cost of this must be astronomical, 3 people plus the fuel and vehicles to do the job of one man. All because drivers are so checked out and not paying full attention to what is before them on the road. That feels like the ultimate in giving people permission to be irresponsible.
It’s also interesting to share that when I am behind the wheel driving my car the flow of the traffic can often reflect how I feel on the inside. When I am rushed I seem to get every red light and stuck behind all the slow drivers or the massive trucks that completely limit my vision. I then get totally focused on the fact I am running late and not the journey at hand. But, when I feel present and have enough time and space to get to where I am going easily, there seems to be the timely gaps for me to be let in and merge, and the speed that we are all going at is far more harmonious. Parking spaces even magically appear at my destination even though it is way overcrowded. The flow of everything is just more spacious, in harmony and I must say, far more enjoyable to do.
Well said Jonathan. When driving a car being consciously present is vital for the safety of us all. However, the speed and level of distraction you speak of is an epidemic not only on our roads, but to most aspects of our lives as a direct result of our fast paced society. So, it’s not only in cars that people can be ‘driven to distraction’ in as they focus totally on speeding to their destination and neglect to appreciate the journey itself, but we humans can be just as disengaged as we speed through our days!
It’s such a great point to consider our level of presence with what we are doing when driving. For me it feels very much like my relationship with my body throughout the day. Just as I drive automatically making assumptions about the ability and responses of my car, so can I go through my day making similar assumptions about my body without actually checking in, to be present and feel what is truly happening.
I had to do a speed awareness course a few months back and some of the things I learnt were quite astonishing. I couldn’t believe how arrogant I had been with my excessive speed and how much I was putting other drivers and pedestrians at risk. I vowed never to speed again but just realized after reading your blog that the more time that has past since the course the more my speed was gradually creeping up again. Thanks Jonathan for the reminder.
Reading your words again Jonathan I got the sense of how cars can be a literal manifestation of the virtual reality ‘bubble’ we live life in. Being removed from others, independent of constraints, free from ‘the maddening crowd’, it is like this is our dream. But as you beautifully show nothing in this is true. In fact our driving constantly shows how we are all connected and affected intimately by each turn we take and the quality we choose to drive our life in.
Brilliant observations Jonathan. The arrogance that is so readily on display by those assuming pole position in their very own individual urban space capsule, has most definitely sky rocketed. Sit in the drivers seat, close the door, lock in (or not), away.. ‘Look out anyone in my way!‘ Take away the capsule and in most cases, the human resumes a more considerate of others mode of transport. In the hustle bustle of busy lives, I have found driving to be a most opportune time to check in with my body, how I’m feeling sitting there, my breath and anything that may be getting in the way of that connection to me.
I agree with you Giselle, whilst driving and in daily life there is always the choice to be present with our body, or checked out from ourselves – simply letting go of the wanting ‘rush’ anywhere and enjoy just being in the car and aware of the breath and posture, whatever is happening outside, is so lovely on the nervous system and adrenals!
“In the hustle bustle of busy lives, I have found driving to be a most opportune time to check in with my body, how I’m feeling sitting there, my breath and anything that may be getting in the way of that connection to me”.
I am now officially happy to get in the car with you Martin…without a crash helmet and NASA designed space suit!
Like you I used to drive at and often beyond the limit of my ability. I recall in my motorcycle riding days (yes…seriously) I would take corners so fast that I would feel sick at the thought I wouldn’t make the corner, having to use my body weight to force the bike to turn. My nervous system still hasn’t recovered.
The bike was left behind years ago and I am not the same person behind the wheel, thank God…and thank you Serge Benhayon.
I too can remember those days when, even in the U.K. you could find deserted roads where one could indulge in “cornering on the door handles” in a car, or on the footpegs if on a bike. Of course if you had had a mishap it would have been a long time before help would have arrived! Nowadays on our crowded roads, the opportunities for such carryings-on are far and few between, but perhaps that’s not such a bad thing!
Jonathan I have noticed that how I drive my car affects what type of fellow drivers I come into contact with, which suggests driving with care and consideration is contagious and a strong reflection.
It is quite evident when on the road that many drivers are not present while at the wheel. It is a common occurrence on the country roads that I drive, with no guiding lines, for cars to be in the middle or on the wrong side of the road when approaching, only to swerve quickly when they see another car coming. It has led me to watch the way I drive and actions like this only happen when I am not concentrating on the road. It is another form of expression of the recklessness that we live in.
I love this blog Jonathan. you have raised such a great point. It is so easy to switch off when we get behind the wheel whereas we should in truth be even more switched on than ever. Several years ago I took a course in advanced driving, and part of what I had to do was to talk about every thing I could see in front of and around me that could be a potential hazard, and then what I would do to avoid it. It was a great lesson in awareness, and one that I have continued to use when I’m driving. How we are when we are driving can have an enormous impact on what else is going on on the roads and often when I get held up by something I am reminded that it is for me to ponder on why there is something stopping me for a while.
I agree Sandra, giving a running commentary while you drive is a great lesson in awareness. Sometimes, on long journeys, if I’m alone, I find myself talking out loud in a similar vein, to keep my awareness sharp.
‘when I get held up by something I am reminded that it is for me to ponder on why there is something stopping me for a while.’ That’s great Sandra, using the moment to connect to universal order, a gift from God, rather than a hindrance. What a great approach.
Thank you for this sharing Sandra. A friend and I were talking about the advanced driving course today, something we have both considered doing. I feel inspired to look into it further now and will certainly practise the running commentary of potential hazards and how to avoid them. Anything we can do to be present and create safer conditions on the roads has to be a worthwhile choice.
Yes, it brings another whole level and awareness of responsibility to how we are when we drive, and we can then also bring that awareness and responsibility into our daily lives.
Loved reading this again Jonathan, since moving to London I can tell how my driving has changed and there are ways I have adopted in order to get into a line of traffic, which I would never have done in the past. Driving styles do seem to differ from county to country, but in my case from countryside to city, and as you have pointed out being present whilst driving is key. Great reminder.
I know that I can still become distracted when I am driving. It is such a great indicator as to where I am at with myself. If I go for my phone at the lights, or play with the radio, or even have the radio on. All of these really reveal to me where I am with my connection. So to re-read this is so great, to remind me of what being consciously present means and its importance.
Dear Jonathan I had to re-read your wonderful blog this morning because the last days I was not driven very carefully. This is what I love of reading blogs – I can re-read them and be inspired or reminded again – how wonderful is that.
I realy like your blog Jonathan, it is so real and well ‘checked of reality’. it is true, and I have to say that I have caught myself doing this at times, thinking I got it all and others not, just like that commercial : the imperative! Time to loose this shield and check my reality while being present in my car, so that I don’t have to drive 2 wheels to know so!:)
Thanks Jonathan, this is such a great blog, I read it some time ago, not long after a big fine and being reduced to a single point on my licence. Back then I thought I had made significant changes, but not really, I can get how quickly and easy I become like toad, but thankfully (say other road users) I do spend more time now being present with my body and therefore more relaxed in my need to get somewhere, this has also made a big difference to the amount of anxious energy I burn through, so I feel better after a long drive. Win, win, win situation.
This highlights for me there are a few areas where I still like to feel like I am off duty and check out – I definitely can use my car as my own little world but in truth there is no such thing.
Nicole, yes I totally get that one Nicolesjardin, I can consider my car my castle, my space where I can be in my bubble and only engage with the world is a very controlling and limited way. Since engaging with this article of Jonathan’s I’ve been really observing how I drive and all these patterns that play out and it’s been hugely supportive to read this and all the comments. It’s allowed me to stop and feel more what I do when I drive and adjust my attitude and behaviour. Very much unfolding.
I love the humour you bring to your blogs Jonathan without losing an inch of the message. Our cars are a great place to practice being consciously present and mine loves me so much it never lets me forget it, be it … eating in the car, not paying attention, driving when I am too tired, not shutting the door hard enough, shutting it way too hard, how I accelerate, decelerate, how I hold or vice-like grip the steering wheel… So many opportunities to appreciate that I am being swept into something that is not me. I can appreciate that just that bit more now Jonathan, thank you!
Ah..the vice like grip on the wheel. Know that all too well. Another one for me is lolling against the door with my arm resting on the window sill. This is a sure sign I am “gone”.
I heard the other day that some American cars feature a steering wheel that swings out of the way upon entry, to accommodate the super size stomach. If this is indeed true and not merely an urban myth, it puts a new slant on the way that the car encourages our vices.
I agree Lucy – our car is a great place to practice being consciously present. And I have to admit, I still have to practice a lot, very often my mind wanders and while driving I’m somewhere else with my thoughts. What helps me is feeling my hands, my feet, basically my entire body all the time.
Jonathan, what an awesome blog, today I took it with me while I was driving, and saw exactly what you called out here, how driving in our cars, we become our own bubble and we consider that we’re insulated from everyone else and the world, and it fosters that illusion that we’re separate. So today as I was driving I was super conscious of how I was and how easy it was to slip into, ‘I’m in my bubble’, very interesting to see and catch how much this plays out, and your blog has been a huge support in allow me to see this.
This blog is a great metaphor for how we tend to disengage from life in general, unaware of the true ramifcations of our actions and the effect we have on others and the world around us.
You could easily substitute the word car for computer and it would make just as much sense although it plays out differently. There are people who are lovely when you meet them, but put them behind the wheel and they are capable of pure aggression. Put them behind a keyboard and they are capable of vileness and abuse.
We seal ourselves up in all manner of little bubbles that disengage us from life.
This is a great observation dentistryinharmony, with modern life simply teeming with technological distractions, there must be 1001 ways to disengage us from life!
Rachel, great point, the car is very immediate in it’s consequence when we muck up, the computer is less obvious but even more lethal, as things can go viral in a heartbeat. So yes there are so many bubbles we cut ourselves off with, and the irony of all this, we cut ourselves off from us in the process.
I can feel how much my awareness and presence has increased when I am driving. I know that I would have driven to work etc in the past not really noticing what I was doing, listening to the radio, chatting, day dreaming etc but not really paying attention to what was happening around me – ‘the bubble’. I am much more present when I drive now and I feel that I am more considerate and equal with everyone on the road. It is safer and more enjoyable experience.
I too have been catching myself recently getting a little heavier on the accelerator pedal and then coming back to myself, and realizing that I am getting ahead of myself and not trusting that the thing that I am being distracted by, will still be there and will be taken care of in its own time, so I can sit back and enjoy driving with me. This way I am not placing more importance on the future before I get to it as it will come to me.
I have noticed that when I feeling ‘off’ I am super jerky on the accelerator and brake. Self induced whip-lash! Always a sign to come back to the very basis of feeling my feet in my shoes, my heels where they are resting on the floor, my ankles.
That little glass and metal bubble is like a spherical mirror, reflecting exactly where we are at every moment in time.
Julie I also have learnt to trust the timing in my daily activities, the car and reaching a destination on time is a great reflection though. It’s been a real eye opener to be committed to a natural rhythm in my day, to do the things that support me first and my tasks get presented in an order and it doesn’t become an issue regardless of the outside demands. So when driving I reach my destination on time and I get ‘rock star’ parking as well. Such harmony makes life so enJOYable!
Thank you Jonathan, a great reminder of staying present when behind the wheel. When I am not present, I find my foot gets heaver on the accelerator and before I know it, I am speeding, so a constant coming back and feeling my body keeps me from getting caught for speeding.
Coming across this blog to remind me to stay connected to me and particularly to the world.
Simply and beautifully expressed Esther Andras – it is all about people and connection!
This is a great blog, being in conscious presence makes such a difference, on the road there are indeed a lot of people who are thinking that the car they are in is protecting them from everything that is outside so they are free to be not there as the car will save them…
Yes, it is a great blog Benkt to revisit and be reminded of the quality in which we drive. The truth is, we can only save ourselves through coming back to awareness and bringing conscious presence to our own body first and foremost, re-establishing our re-connection to the innate harmony and stillness within. From this solid foundation we are able to expand our awareness to every situation around us to be clear in truly ‘reading’ every moment in a car and in life. A beautiful way to be driving on very busy roads, with many drivers who are dangerous with their habit of driving in complete disregard of others.
Thank you Jonathan. Bringing our awareness and deeply connecting with ourselves while driving does bring a dose of sanity to this most mundane occupation.
I keep coming back to this blog Jonathan, it reminds me that the way that we drive shows so much about how we are with all life. Seeing another motorist observing the laws and respectfully driving with care for themselves, stands out and reminds me to check my own speed. In this way you’ve helped me re-appreciate the knock on effect of our choices.
Yes Joseph that is the same for me – I have driven a lot and since I have read Jonathans blog I am more aware about my behavior and if a motorist is observing the laws and driving with care – I don’t react as I did before, instead this driver is a reminder for me to look at my own way of driving.
Interesting how after writing this I was driving to a party with a friend and the road ahead was jammed up with traffic so we took another route. We went through some gorgeous countryside and had a lovely journey, so much so that we chose to come back that way too. We both felt the change in the energy and realised that the usual route is a main road where there are often accidents and people rushing to and from work or to and from the coast, there are a lots of trucks too. There are also hidden speed cameras. That route actually feels quite heavy. We both commented on our responsibility in driving and how our energy can be healing or harming whether there is any traffic on the road at that moment or not.
Reading this blog again today I am put on notice as to how inconsistent my driving still is and feel doubly inspired to remind myself that getting into my car is an opportunity for deeper connection. To enjoy myself in my body and not get lost in the doing and getting somewhere.
Beautifully expressed Elaine and very inspiring – getting into the car is an opportunity for deeper connection. I love it.
Yes, getting into our car is another an opportunity for deeper connection and reflection. Interestingly, as our car is a metaphor for ourselves – it offers a constant reflection of how we are in our daily living – how we are with our car is how we are with ourselves – how we care for it, get into it, drive it, maintain it and even the quality we are in when filling it up with fuel could be exposing or confirming the care we take with nourishing ourselves.
I too appreciate that I got a speeding ticket a few years ago as it showed me how I had been driving with little awareness of my surroundings as my mind was busy. I now drive my car and move my own body with far greater awareness of my responsibility for myself and all other people with whom I share the road and life.
It is quite astounding how you can change once you step into your car. It’s almost like you transform and turn into some kind of robot or speed freak if your not paying attention to yourself and how you are feeling. I am so much more aware now when I drive, but every now and then I catch myself thinking about what’s ahead and have to pull myself up and stay with myself as I drive.
I too transformed once to this kind of robot – since I learned to stay more with me my way of driving changed. There was nothing I could do against this change because since I listen to my body I do not like to feel this tension or the agitation if I am driving like a manic. But I have to admit that there are still situation where I am out of my body and than I choose to drive again like the devil is behind me.
I know Julie, I wasn’t really aware that these changes takes place until reading this blog. It really inspires me to be consciously present when I get into my car, connect to the outside world even when I am physically in my capsule/car to not choose to feel separate from other people, other drivers and the world but to stay connected to my surroundings at all times.
It is interesting how our connection with the world can seemingly change inside out motor vehicles. I used to tailgate and always feel rushed to get to where I wanted to be, now my driving is much more steady and considerate although at time I can slip into my old ways. It is a choice each time I get into my car, how I want to be on the roads.
I can relate to this very well. My driving is also much more considerate, I don’t rush any more and I allow the space to get to my destination.
“Technological advances have created vehicles with such comfort and refinement that the very sensations of motion and the world outside us seem to have been suppressed. Have you ever opened an electric window at seventy miles an hour?” – Very funny, this had me laughing as it’s so true. We can get lulled into a false sense of security and separation from the outside world or we can stay connected and aware of the terrain and our fellow road users.
All very true Jonathan. I can gauge how connected I am in my body by how I’m operating my car. I’ve brought a lot of effort to my driving and have become committed to keep deepening this effort to drive very present and to not get caught up in the frantic behaviour that can emerge behind the wheel.
I also have lost demerit points recently and like you Jonathan it came as a blessing. I am much more aware and present whilst driving.
Reading your blog is a very timely reminder to be consistent in that presence.
I love that someone wrote this down… I recently, everytime when I am in Berlin, realized, that I shouldn´t react to the harshness of Berlin drivers. Which is very hard for me, because I am used to Cologne drivers, where I live too. They are much more tolerant and not so aggressive like Berlin drivers. Anyway, driving myself is such a good marker for me- how I drive and if I react to the outside, no matter how violent it is. The responsibility and care that is missing in the streets is huge in my opinion. I decided to give my very best to reflect something else to my fellow drivers- no matter where…:)
This is great Steffihenn – realizing your reactions to driving in Berlin and making a choice to change your attitude to driving there “to give my very best to reflect something else to my fellow drivers- no matter where…”. It will be interesting to see the changes in Berlin (or other places) over time that one person can bring through simply driving differently and reflecting this to others. Also – this is so supportive of our own well-being by not hardening our body whilst driving there – even small movements like tightening the hands, arms and jaw or experiencing any emotional reaction to other drivers is costly to our own body,
I read this blog a long while ago and it definitely has changed my way of driving a car. I am much more connected to the car and the environment and the other cars and participants of the traffic than before. The power of these articles is so huge!
I agree Felix, I also read this blog some time ago and it was so impactful, I recall it regularly when I am driving. To remember to be present, to ensure that I am being responsible on the roads and that what and how I am driving impacts on those around me. It is really great to feel that greater responsibility.
I agree Felix – the power of these articles is absolutely huge. My own level of awareness is deeper (in the car and in life!) from reading the article/blog and all the comments. It is always refreshing and inspiring to come back to read them again.
The power of all your comments is also huge felixschumacher8! It lifts me up how all these comments have the power to move the conversation on, and cover so much ground!
Awesome Felix. The car such a great analogy for the way we treat our bodies – seeing how I am with my car has been a huge eyeopener.
This blog is so awesome and I agree the power of these articles (and also the comments) is indeed amazing. They bring awareness, support and help me expressing myself after a lifetime of holding back. Loving it.
I agree felixschumacher8 – the power of the blogs is really awesome and due to this blog I changed my driving as well. Before that I allowed a lot of competition and I got upset about other people. But these days I’m much more relaxed.
Jonathan you have raised some very important points to ponder. Particularly your description of what it’s like within the capsule of our car..it does feel very safe and secure inside it. It spurred me thinking about the youth of today and the way they can be prone to excessive speeding. When you mentioned..”But is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing?” and “As drivers we seem to inhabit an almost virtual world, with the image on our windscreens a mere projection of the reality outside. Perhaps because of this, our human instincts for danger are blunted.” It’s like we feel so safe because we are just looking at a screen of images passing, like on TV. We forget that we are in control of those passing images and that we need to steer clear of them and remain present to every moment when we are in the car. We cannot afford to zone out like we do when watching TV. Driving instructors and add campaignes would do well to include the importance of conscious presence.
Thank you Irena. I feel that conscious presence could be enhanced if a period was spent on two wheels as a prelude to going onto four. If you want to ‘sharpen-up’, try riding a motorcycle in traffic for a while! I’ve recently gone back to two and the difference is SO noticeable.
I agree Jonathan. I rode a motorcycle for a year or two. To be honest I found it unbelievably stressful. I recall as a learner having a woman in a 4 wheel drive try to mow me down – presumably I was a disposable element getting in the way of her rush to wherever she was going. I am sure if I met her face-to-face she would have been very polite and pleasant. Behind the wheel she was “Pacman” incarnate, and everyone in front of her was a morsel to chase (and run) down for bonus points.
The motorcycle developed my skills, my observation and awareness and my consideration for others. (I used to love the smell of eucalyptus forests and cut grass that you miss out on in a car). However I feel that the bike is not essential to this development. Everyday life gives us ample opportunity to learn how to stay connected that we can take with us in the car.
Jonathan and Rachel, conscious presence is key and yet 2 wheels do help, however it’s about having that presence with us everywhere and I feel the reason we can zone out so much in our cars is because we do it elsewhere before we get in and of course there it continues, and the environment is very conducive to feeling cut off from the world around us. But we seek that cut-off and to a certain extent that’s how we want to deal with the world, so the wider question to ask is why do we live in a way where we want to cut ourselves off from our fellow humans? Cars are a mere outplay of that instinct and one of many, video games (now moving more into virtual reality) are another. We’ve lost touch with ourselves, our bodies, our environments and the people. So it feels vital to reconnect to our bodies, how they feel, how we are and from there our approach to the world including driving changes.
It seems that for every journey we embark on a key aspect may be to start knowing that there is no-where we are getting to. No dead-line that is true and no good to be done. There is only the divine presence we can choose as a driver. When this is done, every road we go down is graced by us just like we are by your words here Jonathan.
Seems to me that hold ups present us with a real opportunity to let go of the destination and just be where we are.
Last week I got held up by a recycling truck in a narrow street lined with parked cars. As the truck edged forward twice I still couldn’t pass, the operatives seemed to be totally oblivious to my being there. As I accepted the importance of the energy I was bringing to the situation, the operatives seem to become less frenetic and the driver actually manoeuvred the truck so that I could pass.
What a great example of how energy works Kathie!
Great sharing kathiefreedom. I had a very similar experience yesterday. I was very much in a hurried and impatient state as I was running late and it seemed at every turn there was a block in the road, a red light and delay of some kind. When I accepted and nominated the energy that I was bringing the road opened up with ease and flow.
I love that kathiefreedom, and annemarie00, often those ‘road blocks’ are great reminders to stop and consider where we are right now. Often when I’m pushing or running late, I hit every red – it feels like each one says stop, ‘no stop’, where are you and how are you? So I’m learning to appreciate them more.
The red lights, trucks blocking our way, the old gentleman who pulls out in front of us then proceeds to drive at half the speed limit…I am learning to appreciate and smile at them now. They are not there to obstruct me, but always a reminder to stop and connect to myself. Ah who would have thought that a red light would ever be looked on as a blessing?
Indeed Rachel. I am noticing much more the finer details in life and starting to pay much more closer attention and appreciate the message that is coming my way. In any situation – like bumping my arm on the door as I make my way into a room shows me that I am not present with myself and brings me back to me.
Thank you Joseph, these comments are lifting the blog onto a completely new level.
Joseph what a glorious comment, in any moment there is indeed only the divine presence we choose, everything else flows from that, and without that we are just operating in a functional and empty way.
Beautifully said Joseph – to be present in the body and aware allows for its own joyful and harmonious experience and everything just flows. Let divine presence behind the wheel – I like that idea.
Well said Joseph – we just have to enjoy ourselves, then life takes care of itself, we don’t have to do anything.
I love this post Jonathan! Everything you say makes so much sense. I have recently been experimenting with presence and stillness whilst driving, and I have to say that the whole driving experience is quite different when you take on this approach. Far less tension in the body, and instead a sense of space and allowing of things to unfold as they need to.
It’s interesting reflecting on what those ads say to us about us and a car. Of course they can all say prestige, glamour, style but they also touch on our sadness and vulnerability and like the image of the shiny car in the desert with the pretty woman or the handsome man in some way attaching us to a belief that this shiny object can take us away from the sad, harsh void of our inner reality. I’d say this clever ploy works in many cases, but just like the new pair of shoes doesn’t hold the distraction very long, another topping up of the void is required.
“Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?”
I so appreciate it when drivers go gently past my home, positioned much higher than the road (I have great views!). Due to the fact that sound rises, it very noticeable when a vehicle is being taken along in non-rush mode, as against it being hurled along the road in a pressured manner. This has made me more aware of reciprocating whenever I drive past homes and I love feeling the respect and care that comes from doing so, even though I haven’t a clue who is living in those homes.
This article is a beautiful responsibility check for me. I have awareness of the importance of staying present whilst driving and in other activities and yet still often ‘check out’ or allow myself to get distracted. From inspiration like this writing I am more committed to letting my driving be a practice ground for consistent focus on the way I am in life. Thank you, Jonathan.
Jonathan, I have recently decided to take more time when I’m driving, before I would feel myself tense up when someone cut me off, or overtook at a ridiculously unsafe place. Now I have slowed down to allow myself more time to get somewhere and also not feel that pressure or tension of wanting to be somewhere else other than where I am right at that moment, in other words not trying to arrive before I have left.
I find too, Sally, that it can take quite a lot of effort to stop being ‘somewhere else’ rather than where you are at a given moment. It can be quite difficult to achieve the necessary ‘conscious presence’ when you’ve a lot to do, but if you can it’s really worth it.
I have just purchased a new car and it’s to be noted I drive with more presence than I did in my last car… I really appreciate the quality and support I feel even just sitting in it so it follows that when I drive I have a heightened awareness and appreciation for myself and thus other road users. I am very aware of this feeling and have noted this as a new marker when I take to the roads.
Enjoy your new car!
Celebrate the deeper awareness and appreciation that you express in your comment – both are important keys for surrendering deeper to our living stillness naturally within.
The title of your blog Jonathan says it all. I was always driven to distraction, in general, not only by driving a car. I was so fast and I was so identified with the DOING, that I couldn’t feel myself and I was separated to myself. Slowly slowly I can reconnect now to myself and I realize how amazing it is just to be ME.
I always enjoyed driving, the flow of the car, and the camber of the corners, but I used to go a little too fast. What I enjoy now when I drive is the connection I have to everything around me and the spherical awareness that goes with that. Any hint of raciness and I can feel the force that comes with it.
I was walking down a fairly steep hill on a one lane street (due to a row of parked cars on one side of the street) in Portugal today, there were several pedestrians also meandering about enjoying the sun and some shops. Suddenly there was a very loud continuous yelling type of noise and a cyclist on a racing bike, broke away from his other cyclist companions and raced down the hill at huge speed, scattering people and giving a strong message just with the noise he was making, something akin to – “out of my way, I am the king of the road here, move or be run over”. Even his two companions who were moving at a slow pace, exchanged glances and indicated their friend had gone quite mad. Even for these few seconds, the release of pent up emotion in this man could be tangibly felt, almost like a force field around him with complete disregard for anyone else on the road..
I agree Jonathon, it feels as though there is quite a bit less patience shown on the roads as many people seem to be ‘hell-bent’ only on ‘getting there’ – wherever ‘there’ is. I possibly have become more acutely aware of the energy that seems to be pushing the driver at the wheel from behind, along with the sense of their projected full right and sole possession of a space on the road since I have been attending the presentations of Universal Medicine and am now more consciously aware and focusing more astutely on being present, actually with myself as I drive. It is truly amazing to me that there are not more motor vehicle accidents, especially at large round-a-bouts with several exits – it’s almost like a frenetic dance on occasions.
Yes, I have noticed this before, road-rage, and road-tension. For me, it feels quite symbolic that when I see people becoming angry so quickly it reveals what is going on in their bodies on a daily basis. How quickly we can react, get angry, or want to control the situation. For me, as I begin to drive I notice patterns of fear and tension. As I develop, my confidence and in turn simplicity is beginning to flow -I enjoy driving.
I love this Arianne, I am currently abroad driving a completely different car, on the other side of the road, where the terrain is rocky and mountainous, and the drivers quite frankly a little bonkers with their driving habits. It is all new, and completely out of my comfort zone. However as soon as I allow myself to connect purely with me, the tension releases and I, the car, the traffic and the journey flows beautifully and in harmony with one another.
You might not chat much now when you are behind the wheel Jonathan, but I feel your presence and quality will still speak loud and be a blessing for any passenger.
I agree Joseph Barker, my sentiments exactly!
Beautiful point and confirmation, Joseph, thank you.
We can use driving to connect and communicate with ourselves and others, that is feeling to be part of all the people in traffic that I meet on the way or I experience myself in battle and competition with everyone else. It is a choice of how to drive and to live, just the same.
Simply and well stated Alex – “It is a choice of how to drive and to live, just the same”.
I am discovering more and more how the reflections of how we choose to live are reflected in absolutely everything in one way or another, it is simply becoming more aware and reading the signs presented to us to learn from. Every choice – do I want to battle and be in competition or just let go and be in stillness and harmony with myself for all to enjoy.
I drive a lot for work and I used to use this time to return phone calls on the hands free, or listen to Siri on my phone read out my emails. It is actually legal to do this but after some time I realized that even with both hands on the wheel it is often not as safe, because my attention is divided. I also realized that I didn’t enjoying driving as much, because I wasn’t deeply present with myself, enjoying me.. So now I am in the process of changing these habits to be more present in the car and enjoying some time deeply connected with myself.
I did not know you can get Siri to read out your emails!
Vicky Cooke believe me you don’t want to know… it’s quite a distraction and encourages multitasking which is not being present at all.
Great choice Danielle!
“So now I am in the process of changing these habits to be more present in the car and enjoying some time deeply connected with myself.”
I had no idea that emails could be read out on Siri this way – probably just as well, as it feels like this would be just another huge distraction being presented to me to get pulled into as I read about it.
Thank you for bringing this to awareness to be wary of!
Yes Stephanie forget about Siri reading emails, it is a super distraction and since I have stopped doing this I have not only enjoyed driving much more I also genuinely feel that I am not alone in the car. I now feel very connected with God and nature or the city and people around me. The best part to this is that the quality that people get from me when I arrive at my destination is now so so much more grand than the ‘racy head’ that people used to be getting!
Danielle this is beautiful how you have let go of another ‘technological wonder’ to save time whilst driving and bringing the joy of you simply being connected with you on arrival at your destination. This has me pondering upon just how much are we being ‘fooled’ by all this sophisticated technology that it connects us together – it has its place for sure, but it seems to me it just makes everything more rushed, more racy, more disconnected from our bodies and although there is a form of communication through this medium, just exactly what quality are we in when using it? Multi tasking is not such a great quality after all, especially in a car when even the smallest lack of awareness has the potential to be highly dangerous to self and others.
When people go behind the steering wheel, there is a primary aspect that comes up in the first possible occasion. How do you perceive the world and how do you perceive you have to act in the world drive with you. I feel that driving is usually an emotionally loaded activity driven by hurts. Our driving style is no different from how we walk in life; it reflects our style of managing life.
When I drive I see a lot of competition on the road to be the fastest, to get there first, to overtake successfully. There is a lot of tension on the road to out-do each other which must create a lot of tension in our bodies as we drive? With my little car and its lawn-mower engine I am not able to engage in the race and this is teaching me a lot about being on the road and driving with a new kind of responsibility – one that lasts from the moment I wake up to when I fall back to sleep again. Not just reserved for adhering to stop signs, but one that is all encompassing of the entire way that I live with everyone with exception to none.
I think Shami, that you have experienced something similar to that which Lorry drivers must experience, i.e. being left slightly on the margins of the main action, but feeling an overwhelming sense of responsibility combined with a slight sense of helplessness. Like the lorry driver, you are forced to observe everything but you have to stay calm and not absorb any of that energy; not always easy!
My whole attitude to lorry drivers altered after I watched a programme which showed the tight delivery times some food stores allocate, which if missed means the goods cannot be delivered, often postponed to another day, plus all the ramifications with drivers in the UK having a maximum number of hours they can drive in one day, plus needing to find somewhere secure to park such that their load in not stolen. No wonder the drivers keep a close eye on the time.
Then it occurred to me that if I want to see the shelves on the supermarket full, then I have a part to play in all of this. So I have moved from ‘let me get by quick so that I am not stuck behind a lorry’ to a little more appreciation of the wider picture
Kathie – thank you for sharing this about the lorry drivers programme highlighting how everything affects the all, all of the time.
This brings a whole new understanding to how systems govern everyone, whatever their work. It is great to be able to have more appreciation of the wider picture of our lorry drivers and their part in providing our supermarket shelves with goods we have available to us to choose to eat.
From now on any time I am driving behind a lorry your comment will spring to mind to remind me a lorry is actually offering me another golden opportunity to ‘just be’ and deeply appreciate what is actually in front of me!
Thank you.
“As drivers we seem to inhabit an almost virtual world, with the image on our windscreens a mere projection of the reality outside. Perhaps because of this, our human instincts for danger are blunted…” I feel we do this with our bodies – and life in general – also, not taking account of how we truly feel – until often it is too late and we become ill. Then we look to blame others, genetics, God or something ‘out there’. Not taking personal responsibility seems to be a major disease in our culture today – be it driving or anything else. Yet, we are all inter-connected and all we think, say and do affects everyone else.
It’s interesting Sue, that it often takes some sort of major disruption, be it accident or traffic tail-back, to re-unite those disparate individuals, who suddenly rediscover their interconnectedness and all is well, albeit somewhat briefly!
The last time I was caught speeding I opted to attend a speed awareness course instead of taking the points on my licence. I was very humbled by this experience, and felt exposed by the arrogance and irresponsibility I had allowed to creep in over my 20 years of driving.The policemen who took the course not only shared shocking statistics and stories with us but guided us through some very thought provoking exercises. This was not simply the ticking box exercise I thought it was going to be but a huge wake up call to true responsibility we hold behind the wheel.
One can only begin to imagine lucinda, the job that the police have to do, sweeping-up and picking up the pieces after some particularly selfish and arrogant displays by their fellow human beings. Some of the excesses that they witness must be harrowing for them to say the least. I’ve heard the ‘Re-education programme similarly praised by other people who have taken it.
Suzanne. I agree with you when people are driving they seem to be in another world, and what they do behind the glass is nothing to do with anyone else.
The other morning I saw a guy, no seat belt on, and cleaning his teeth. These people are lost souls way out of their bodies and do not seem to want to change their ways.
Selfishness is what else is going on around them.
It is indeed an illusion to think that once inside a vehicle you are insulated from the world. This is a common belief, as I see many people picking their nose behind a glass window – hello, I can see you! – or singing proudly alone in the car, again behind a glass window! When they realise they are noticed by a fellow driver or pedestrian, they often seem mortified.
It goes to show many do feel removed from the world inside their car, a feeling perhaps of Yay, I’ve escaped the world into my own bubble. But they’re not alone in this world and never will be. What goes on in that car is still affecting what’s outside of it, whether you like it or not.
Absolutely Suzanne, there is no escaping.
I was just thinking how this blog about driving and distraction affects humanity on our planet. Half the population live on two dollars or less per day and can’t afford to ride even on public transport let alone drive as the sole occupant of their own car yet they have to suffer the same consequences of the pollution as those who drive.
Hi Jonathan whilst reading you article I couldn’t help thinking of my own circumstances and experiences. We left Brisbane in 1981 to sail slowly around the world. The first six months were hard coming from driving through the Brisbane traffic to and from work everyday and never having time for anything, to trying to to do the same without a car but slowly, our sense of speed increased as we got used to sailing around at an average speed of 5 knots or about 9 kilometers an hour. It took about six months to get used to going so slowly.
Our longest sail was between Galapagos and The Marquises twenty seven days out of sight of land with no distractions, no telephones no nothing until one day you look at the chart and realize that tomorrow you are going to be there and you go “Oh no!, already! and you feel like turning around and going back out to sea.
Thank you Nicholas, reading your comment, I sense that there is a very interesting blog nestling in the subtext of it! What you have experienced and felt, I feel could be a unique sharing.
What an amazing experience Nicholas – to truly feel the raciness that had been in your body from “driving through the Brisbane traffic to and from work everyday and never having time for anything” and finally to enjoying the deep stillness within from being in nature and on the ocean, to experiencing the complete opposite with “no distractions, no telephones no nothing …”
It certainly brings a different understanding of the quality that is true for our body and way of living.
When I drive through the villages on the way to work, I always make sure to turn my music down so as not to disturb the people in their houses. I know they don’t know that I do it, but it is my way of caring for everyone, even those that I cannot see.
I like the suggestion you make here Jonathan as it can be broadened to other areas of life. People in their car bubble slip into road rage yet people instinctively apologize if they cut someone off while walking or in a queue. So it is our isolation from other (possibly ourselves) that make such harm possible.
It’s interesting to read this thread, because we can all feel what we are like when we get into the car. We feel isolated from the others outside it, but as you say, Jonathan, we are driving down the same road as others on the same track. The other day, when I was driving close to the speed limit, I was overtaken by a large powerful car which zoomed up behind me and roared off in front and I felt a wave of the guy’s energy as he passed me. That feeling of energy is all around us but not normally so obvious. So it made me realise that how I drive is picked up by the person behind me. Hmm, what feeling of energy do I want the next person to pick up?
You are right gillrandall, its easy to feel isolated from other drivers on the road if we so choose, but with what you share, I also realise there is equally the choice to be aware of everyone around us too.
When I drive to work in the mornings and I am not caught up in my own thoughts, I can actually feel the group of people I am travelling with along the road, as we take corners, slowdown in villages, curve around cyclists. We move as one but each with their own unique way as each car and style of driving is different, but we are all travelling on the same road and encountering the same obstacles.
Hi Shami, that’s a great way to look at driving in a car, we as one, each in our own bubble, still connected.
Jonathan I love the image of toad of toad hall changing character once behind the wheel of a car. I too find that if I am present with myself I am a considerate driver aware and tolerant of the often erratic behaviour of others, but if I’m on autopilot I’m liable to speed and become impatient with others. Your article is a great reminder of the responsibility to others that we carry when we drive.
A great reflection Jonathan. Many people become someone else behind the wheel and there are moments I observe myself going into comparison or competition with the driver next to me on the road or attempting to overtake me!! Thanks for the reminder.
Distraction is everywhere if we let it be, and we are vey good at manufacturing more of it so that we only see what is convenient to us. As we open our eyes and let ourselves see more and more we also get to see more of ourselves, the stark reality, and also the ever-growing deep beauty.
So true Jenny!, the key phrase being, “If we let it be”.
I love this Jenny – “As we open our eyes and let ourselves see more and more we also get to see more of ourselves, the stark reality, and also the ever-growing deep beauty”.
Acceptance of all parts of ourselves is key to bringing us back towards more of the truth of our inner beauty.
On my journey to The Sound Foundation in Frome, Somerset, I had an enjoyable time being present with myself whilst driving. I became super aware of being able to ‘read’ how other drivers’ state of mind was and how this totally reflected in the way their cars were being driven – erratic, racy, pushing from behind etc and realising how I have driven like this too at times. A little in front of me I could see a car weaving about a little – as as I got closer could see there was a fair sized dog sitting on the front passenger seat continually barking. The driver was looking at it and speaking to it whilst the two passengers in the back just looked on. As I passed I could actually hear the dog with my windows closed!
That’s interesting about the dog Stephanie, because while we were in England recently, we noticed that nearly everybody on the street seemed to have a dog! Is this a new trend? And if so what does it say about us?
Recently as I pulled out on to a busy main road, I lamented my little engine and its inability to safely join fastly moving traffic. But then it occurred to me, that perhaps if I had taken the size and speed of my engine in to more consideration at the cross roads, I would not have felt so unsafe – so it was not the car’s fault, it was how I was using it. And this made me consider the wider picture with life, how much I can blame others or outside situations for how I feel, when perhaps it is not their fault, perhaps it is how I am approaching the situations and relationships that causes any kind of unrest, and perhaps this is something I can change.
What a great realisation Shami, not only about how you are being in your car, but also about how you are being in life; taking responsibility for your actions and letting go of the blame game.
Yes, driving for me lately is becoming a great stop point to check in with myself and how I am feeling. Focussing on my breath or parts of my body at every stop and staying as present as possible while driving, can make a huge difference to how I feel when I actually arrive at my destination.
I agree we can easily lose ourselves when behind the wheel however I think it only reflects how we are in daily life anyway. It is only that since we are going faster things get revealed more quickly and are more obvious.
“Have you ever noticed that in advertising material the featured vehicle is always alone on some coastal highway with vistas to die for and there is not another single vehicle in sight!” Yes, Jonathan, I remember lots of advertisements for motor vehicles that do just that, especially the ones for very sporty vehicles!. I agree, that it does convey the message that this is a wonderful car just for us, and takes us into a shangri-la land. As you say, it becomes individualised, we feel special if we have this car. This is so unreal, to make us feel bigger and better than others, and is so often reflected in the driving of the car.
I really like this question “is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing? Protecting ourselves from the realities of life can never be a good thing. It creates a mentality that says so long as something is not happening to us, to our family and friends then all is well. What I have discovered is that there is a far greater power in facing up to what is going on in the world and then calling to account that which is not working and not love.
I have begun to notice that it is fairly easy to pick a car driven in distraction, anger or arrogance, etc. When I react, I take on a similar energy, but when I feel the arrogance and just allow that person to make that choice, I am a more calm and present driver.
Jonathan, your blog is a great reminder for us all to stay present with ourselves when we are driving, it is so easy to get distracted, I have a little routine now to help me stay present.
Hi Jonathan, I enjoyed reading your blog very much , I did ponder on a few points you raised as being more focused on the driving and staying present with the speed limit, a great reminder about being focused all the time and to come back to our awareness, plus leave yourself enough time to get to your destinations , so driving can be fun with us all sharing our roads.
Indeed staying present with the speed limit. For me the speed limit is an invitation to not go into my old racy bahaviour going from A to B as quick as possible. I had to ‘un-do’ this pattern, but since I follow the speed limit, driving becomes a ritual in itself. No stress, awareness of what is going on around me and space to focus on my presence and expand that. A new experience of driving a car!
I agree Caroline – observing speed limits really is a great way to be reminded that there is a lack of presence in our driving and the energy of ‘rushing’ has taken over. I enjoy the ritual of driving with awareness too.
The way we drive is such a wonderful reflection right back at us… it can be such an automatic process, or it can be, as can any expression, simply a vehicle for reconnection . ☺
Simply and beautifully stated cjames2012!
Yes Chris, a reflection of the way we drive our body. Reflections everywhere…we can’t escape them no matter how fast we drive!
Beautiful cjames2012. Every drive then becomes an opportunity to deepen our expression to allow and accept even more.
Love it cjames2012. How we drive our cars can be an awesome ‘indicator’ of the way we can drive ourselves just as automatically throughout our days too.
This blog is a wonderful reminder Jonathan, of how we can drive our cars around on the roads and our bodies around in life. When the two come together everything seems to come together and arrive in a perfect way. This morning, being particularly flowing and in rhythm with my body, as I drove I experimented with watching the trees coming towards me. I was still in the car and they “arrived”, and the journey was so stress free. Focusing on the driving as though I was taking my test kept my mind free of other thoughts as well. Every time I drive it is a marker, a test drive, and every time I walk my body also.
I work as a chauffeur in Melbourne, and in the past I would quite often get frustrated when driving, however since recently I have only been playing music from the Unimed collection and I find I am so much calmer and harmonious when driving.
I wonder if you are able to be more accepting whilst driving and less frustrated because the music you are listening to does not stimulate you or impose on you in any way Joe?
Jenny this is a great point about music. It is common for people to have either music playing or the radio on when in the car, or nowadays even a DVD playing in the back for the kids. Given that music has its own effect on us, this is also contributing the way we drive and how we are with others on the road.
That’s a really good point Vicky, another dimension to our driving is unconsciously allowing another energy into our vehicles – music.
Jonathan I loved your blog, you wrote it in such a playful way. Thank you.
Having read all the present comments, how many of you have changed your driving habits and awareness of other road users on the roads, including cyclists.
Are you now more connected in your body, and let what others are doing pass over you, rather than getting agitated and putting up your blood pressure and stress levels.
Happy motoring, and go with care.
You give such a great example of how complacent we become behind the wheel of a car in ways that a motorcyclist would not even consider. We become arrogant and smug in our bubble and forget to pay attention to all the detail coming at us that assists in our navigation of the territory. You wouldn’t see a motor cyclist texting, talking on the phone or listening to music – they are most certainly paying more attention to the possible pitfalls and the joys of being more connected to what’s going on around them – great analogy Jonathan!
Jonathan, I love this blog. You have so aptly described what can go on when we are insulated in our own bubble. So many of us think that rules and regulations do not apply to us, we don’t even think of them, are often off in our own little world thinking of anything but what we are doing.
I love driving longer distances just on my own at times, on quiet roads, I find that can be a great way to really practice conscious presence, making sure that I keep coming back to feeling my fingers delicately on the steering wheel, consciously checking the rear vision and side mirrors and feeling myself sitting on the seat, with feet on the floor/pedals. Not always so easy staying with myself when I get among lots of traffic, but working on that.
Like you Beverley I used to and still do, like driving long distances on my own on quiet roads, only more recently I have been using it as an opportunity to practice conscious presence and consequently arrive at my destination more with myself and not stressed as used to be the case. I have also found that driving in traffic in conscious presence makes the journey so much easier and enjoyable, but like you, driving in traffic is a work in progress.
I too find driving can be a great time to deeply connect with my body and either confirm my quality or bring myself back if I can feel I am not as present as I know I can be.
This is such a great reminder Beverley, when driving to have such conscious presence, feeling fingers on the steering wheel, using this time to be with oneself, not check out, check your phone or calling people, which is a very common habit these days. It is so very easy to become distracted and why? why is it so easy? Not wanting to be with ourselves? not even being able to sit in a car for a period of time? It can be a great marker, to see how much conscious presence you can have when driving, how much you ‘can’ be with yourself or ‘want’ to distract. I use this all the time as a great way to measure how far away from myself I am, how quickly I want to reach for my phone or think about other things. When I do this, I know I can make a different choice to focus and come back to me, back to the present.
My shoulders dropped just reading your comments Reagan. So true what you write here. I find myself at stop lights – reaching for something to distract me as opposed to just taking that time to to be with me. Lovely me. I will definitely take this with me today.
Well said Vicky – I had a similar experience a couple of days ago and was quite shocked at the audacity and arrogance of a cyclist who rode through red lights at a junction with a flagrant disregard for his own and others safety whilst gesticulating in a very rude way to drivers honking their horns at him and having to ‘stand on their brakes’ to avoid a collision with him.
‘whatever we do our choices affect another and we are not the only ones in the world.”
Crazy! It’s an interesting point you raise here Stephanie; when someone does something that breaks the rules, we get annoyed. But when we break the rules ourselves, we don’t understand why other people get annoyed, or maybe we just don’t care. Just a tad hippocritical, and yet it is very accepted and ‘normal’ in society
This is a great topic Jonathan, I had to attend a speed awareness course recently as I was also snapped speeding and to avoid having three points on my otherwise clean license I decided this was a better option. I felt this to be a nuisance as I had to take time out from work but it was a great learning experience as even though I am probably one of the least arrogant drivers out there I still had plenty arrogance when getting behind the wheel. How we drive I think is a good reflection or snap shot of how we live, as the more aggressive you are to other drivers the more comes back at you and the more mellow and courteous you are the more you attract that same type of driver. How often is it you see some clown weaving in and out of traffic, cutting people up etc only to see him at the traffic lights two cars ahead or boxed in, in a non moving lane as you sail past as your lane has miraculously started moving again.
As you say Kevin, it seems so true that we ‘get back what we give out’ when driving. I found myself being extra careful yesterday while returning across Geneva from the airport, because all of a sudden I was driving a LHD car on the right after England with a RHD on the left. My extra care didn’t seem to upset anyone in a town notorious for its lack of good road manners and addiction to horn-blowing. Nobody cut me up and they all left me well alone!
You raise a good point – I find that if I am rushing in the car, or needing to get somewhere fast, then there seems to be countless obstacles in my way. But if I take care, and drive knowing I have a lot of space to get to where I need to be, then it is a completely different experience
That’s so true kevmchardy all that ducking and weaving cutting people off. I have been like that in the past and on those days I mostly got every red light along the way. These days being much more present has lead to me being more patient and considerate on the roads leading to my travel flowing with the green lights.
Tonight I saw a different kind of driver. Cyclists!!!! Cycling on the road but going through red traffic lights because they don’t think it applies to them and then nearly get hit by a car. On reflection it made me see how we think rules and regulations do not apply to us, that the rules are for everyone else but we are an exception; and this is how we behave in cars, we are in this little bubble and can be and do what we want. However, what we need to realise is .. in a car, on a bike, out of a car, walking down the road; whatever we do our choices affect another and we are not the only ones in the world.
I’ve had the same thing with a lot of cyclists. Some can be really crazy in traffic, not stopping for anyone. I’ve observed them and it seems like they don’t want to stop and abide to common traffic rules but prefer to run their own race. Doesn’t really work when team work is needed, especially in traffic.
When I let go of my western indignation that no-one seems to stop for pedestrians on zebra crossings in Vietnam and watched what was happening, I realised just that Matts, there is such a sense of team work and finding a way that so many people can use the limited space
It’s quite impressive if you watch how they make it all happen with so many people on the road. When I was in Bali I almost had to not watch when we were passing and meeting other cars with a few centimiters apart yet there didn’t seem to be many if any incidents. Something to learn from.
I’ve noticed this sort of behaviour in London, Matts. Certain cyclists seem to display a sort of arrogance based on the idea that they hold the ‘moral high-ground’ being ‘greener’ than motorists. Displays of self-righteous indignation seem commonplace during confrontations with traffic and finally all of their frustrations are then dumped on the poor hapless pedestrian, who has to leap out of the way!
Yes they (sorry for generalisation here) seem to be in dire need for some good old dose of stillness. We don’t want them to have an accident so hopefully they will see this in for them a more gentle way.
That is right Matts some road users are really crazy, or lets say unaware and irresponsible. There must be a lot of angels being busy, working in teamwork together, in looking after these irresponsible and unaware people who are moving themselves in the busy traffic.
So funny that you mention that nvanhaastrecht – I just said that in another comment that there’s got to be someone (or more) watching over us, because statistically we should have lots more accidents if we look at how distracted we are in traffic.
As you say Vicky, the rules apply to all of us and that includes pedestrians and especially cyclists. Modern lightweight bicycles are capable of easily exceeding the 30mph limit and what is more, they are very quiet!!
I agree Vicky that what our choices do affect others, but what really amuses me is that many people have experiences of being pedestrians, AND cyclists AND motorists, so how come we don’t relate and respond to all these different ways of moving through life irrespective of the method we are using at that moment.
The same thing happens in the sky Vicky! Pilots often say things and ask for things – priority for one – that shows me they think they are the only ones in the sky. Their understanding that there is in fact a big picture is totally missing. The same philosophy applies up there as down here – we are here to operate together. It is the only way we will be able to live without the suffering that is commonplace these days.
Suzanne – Thank you for this amazing insight regarding the similar level of disregard for others and the lack of the awareness of the ‘bigger picture’ in flying aircraft as in driving cars. This would never have occurred to me before. Our arrogance is beyond measure sometimes.
A funny cartoon flash of ‘Mr Toads Wild Ride’ superimposed upon the sky with wings madly flapping and other air traffic (including birds) hastily moving out of the way of the blatant disregard in the steely eyed look of Mr Toad who thinks he also owns the sky in the same way as he treats others when driving on the road.
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A great point Vicky for so many of us do live like the rules don’t apply to us or are happy to push them when we think we can get away with it – whether inside our cars, our houses or with our choices in how we treat ourselves or others – but in truth we never get away with anything, there is always a consequence big or small and it will be at either our expense or anothers. It is up to us and our level of responsibility as to how aware of this we want to be and then choose or not to adjust our behaviour accordingly.
You bring up a great point here Jonathan in that when we get into our cars a whole other side of us emerges. When we first learn to drive we are very cautious and careful because we are so aware of all the things that can happen but very quickly arrogance seems to appear and we act as if we own the road. This is very interesting to observe.
Great blog Jonathan. Being behind the wheel of a car is one of life’s ultimate privileges and responsibilities and not a weapon with which to dominate or bully others. It’s interesting where you say that people can queue with politeness and tolerance but when it comes to driving it all goes to pot perhaps meaning that there is a frustration of not being completely honest and having to be seen to be nice which no longer applies when you’re protected in a vehicle and can zoom off. I know from my own experience that how easeful it is to be on the road with others is absolutely dependent on how I choose to be.
Indeed Deborah, it is both a privilege and a responsibility to drive a private vehicle on the roads. This is something that everybody needs to be reminded of.
Jonathon I bought a myself a car recently and shared the experience with a Universal Medicine practitioner. She reflected how the car is a vehicle of expression and that we are expressing all the time, in and out of cars. I feel blessed every time I step into the car. And when I drive each touch, each movement is made with gentleness, love and appreciation.
that’s it Deborah it absolute depends on how we choose to be. The choice is our responsibility.
Jonathan this is such a great blog – I for one and I am sure a lot of other people would nod their head in recognition of the road raging and madness that you have so superbly described, either because they are or have been that rage themselves or the opposite, not at all present, or because they have met it on the roads. It is a huge reflection of how we treat ourselves and if our personal life is not one of harmony, it tends to get exposed one way or another when we get behind the wheel and the ‘four walls’ of our cars.
And just to add the four walls of our homes in too many cases, too Eva.
Good point Margaret! The four walls of our house are no different I agree. Doesn’t it come down to responsibility? Responsibility that what I do impacts another person in some way shape or form no matter what? I for one like this concept, but it is clear to me that most don’t, given the drama on the roads, and just about everywhere else.
What a gorgeous idea Jane – driving in harmony to be added to driving lessons. It’s got my vote!
Imagine turning up for your first driving lesson and beginning with just sitting and being with the gentle breath meditation, then gentle movements with conscious presence to bring more body awareness – and this is before even getting into a car! Then just getting in and out of the car in a way that supports the body, sitting in the drivers seat to just feel more familiar with everything and aware of any nervous tension etc. More gentle breath and then starting the engine.
What a beautiful rhythm to learn to drive in and in this harmonious way probably fewer driving lessons would be required!
Loved what you shared here Jane, I also notice that the traffic reflects exactly how I am, a bit frustrated = seemingly everyone frustrated. And what a great idea, driving lessons which include integrity and driving in harmony. The culture on the roads would change enormously once people realised that it is how we are in what we are doing that affects everything around us. Not a difficult correlation but one we do seem to tend to try and ignore tucked safely up within the four walls of our cars or our houses.
I related to your comment Jane about the way we are in the morning is reflected in how the traffic flows or the edge we feel. It is always a ‘stop’ moment for me to feel and to deal what is going on, what or whom I may have reacted to or the way I may have allowed my feelings or thoughts to be self abusive. I love my driving time. It supports me to connect with myself and to others by the way I relate to my fellow motorists before I get to work.
Jane I just love your idea about driving lessons based on integrity and driving in harmony with all other road users. In fact all lessons in life should be based on that same level of integrity!
I know this phenomenon as well Jane. When I’m in a rush, I have only red traffic lights on my way, when I’m relaxed, only green lights, it is just flowing.
Thank you Jonathan for highlighting many important points. It is so true that we can get caught up in our cars to feel confined and separated from everyone whilst driving in our own little bubble, in comfort, insulated from anything outside, even though we are still interacting with everyone and everything outside whilst on the road. It makes sense to me that remaining connected with yourself and being aware of what is happening around you is vital and a loving choice when we are driving a vehicle that can potentially cause damage and harm to another person, another member of our society. It is our responsibility to choose to be present with our vehicle of expression. And that what we choose (to connect or dis-connect) whilst we are driving our motor vehicles effects all those around us.
It is a great point you make here, why do we think we are king of the road, and feeling so safe that we feel like not having to be hundred percent present. And with this we are shocked and annoyed by everything that happens unexpectedly..
When out driving make the car part of your body. Treat it kindly. There is no need to race, slam your brakes on, change gears in an aggressive manner. What has the car done that you treat it that way. Let other drivers see that you are a considerate road user, and they may pick up some of your loving driver skills. Happy motoring.
Good advice Mike- If we see our car as an extension of our body, wouldn’t we want to treat it more lovingly in how we choose to drive?
Gorgeous Mike! So lovely to feel this as applying to our body too – a playful reply to treating our body differently as likened to your awareness of treatment of the car and driving it.
With being present with our body, there is no need to push through life and rush everywhere (no need to race), treat it gently even when resistance kicks in (not slamming on brakes), move through every day life (the gears) with love and grace rather than aggression. Why would we want to treat our bodies in any other way? As we become considerate of our body (a considerate road user), many others may feel they want to live differently too.
Enjoy your glorious body! (happy motoring)
For those of you old enough to remember the tune and words for this TV advert for petrol – a further playful and silly analogy to the car and body – jointly added by this husband and wife team!
“Oh, The ESSO sign means Happy Motoring….” (car)
to
“Ah.. The ESO-teric inspires being Glorious …” (Body)
Beautifully summed-up Mike! “What has the car done that you treat it that way”, I shall remember that line next time somebody slams one of my car doors!
This blog is a magnificent analogy – “The motor car is certainly one area where each of us, confined to a bubble of isolation, can, if not checked, let arrogance reign supreme …” I know that my behaviour, and personality, seemingly does alter when I get behind the driving wheel. I should say this used to be the case however, after listening to a presentation by Serge Benhayon on being in, and driving with, conscious presence, and hearing how Natalie Benhayon takes herself with her when she gets into a car and then starts her journey – my driving habits changed. I now claim that driving is another way of me expressing the True Me and not the one that is influenced by others… and their driving habits!
A few days ago I heard Serge Benhayon talking abut the way he drives. He is always present and alert, and he is paying attention to everything around him all the time as well as always being aware of his own body. I tried it yesterday, and it kept me present and alert, and ready for whatever may happen. The rhythm of driving changes, and there is space to manoevre and respond. It feels so much safer for myself and everyone else.
Thank you for sharing this Joan, it makes everything so simple, supporting responses rather than reactions in any given situation – a total metaphor for life too, not only in the car – “He (Serge Benhayon) is always present and alert, and he is paying attention to everything around him all the time as well as always being aware of his own body”.
A great blog Johnathan and contributors. My driving awareness has risen. Today I arrived home, after time spent in after school traffic complete with buses, trams, school crossings and queue jumpers, more deeply connected to myself than what I was when I first left my home.
Thank you Jonathan for your insightful and playful blog. I find the car is the most difficult area to stay present and breathe my own breath even though it is a very insular space. Respect for and courtesy to other drivers is spasmodic and while I do not indulge in road rage, I notice I practice tolerance of other road users. This is probably another form of aggression which leaves me exhausted. Occasionally I remember to use rituals while I am driving, perhaps some more awareness in this area is required!
That is so true Elizabeth, driving is a great stop point and can be very revealing of where we are at. I check in with myself every morning and I find that there is always a time during my trip that I am distracted, so I gently remind myself to feel my body and stay with me.
I have noticed that the way I drive is constantly telling me where I am at within myself. If I am distracted, anxious or tense I drive in a very different way to the times when I am at ease within myself.
The connection that I can feel with myself whist driving is so tangibly different to the way I used to drive. There was ALWAYS anxiety, competition, frustration, no matter what the car or where I was. I carried my dysfunctional world with me. Now, although certainly not perfect, I am a one man driving revolution, I can actually be conscious and present as I drive … now that’s a miracle
We can be driven to distraction by absolutely everything if we are not careful, and that is not just driving in our car.
i have never liked the bubble consciousness of driving, being one who would rather have the windows down to breathe the air, rather than to use the aircon. I also resisted cars with things like electronic windows for as long as was humanly possible because I like winding windows up and down! I can engage in these things because i live in a country area – I wouldn’t be sniffing the air too much on the M25 in London.
Could this be significant? i.e. that it is everything on the outside that we are avoiding – the noise, the speed, the smell of fumes? So then we check out because our bodies simply don’t like the sensory assault?
Good point Coleen. We can use our cars as ways to numb ourselves from the outside world.
The other day while driving I became acutely aware of this forceful feeling coming up behind me. It felt as if I had been pushed physically. I had to really hold steady so as not to be affected by it. So true Kristy, how we drive can be felt by all on the road.
I have experienced this too Victoria – it is horrible feeling that force of energy coming at us, almost as if the driver is attempting to get into the boot (trunk) of the car (‘Mr Toad on his wild ride’ in a modern high powered car!). A great reminder though, that when anyone is driving without conscious presence, being emotional, aggressive or in any disregard to the surroundings area – this same force of energy is being put out onto another to a greater or lesser degree.
Jonathon I also love how you say that we over look what is around us and disconnect… your example going through a village at a faster speed than is required is such a good one. It is so easy to do yet the village is copping the impact of this disconnection along with the driver also. This shows if we are oblivious to this way of living then we are oblivious in doing that in other area’s of our life. Very exposing in one choice but effects all.
It’s interesting Natalie isn’t it, just how interconnected everything actually is!
I have just had an interesting experience of being a passenger in a car where the driver was ‘unaware’ of other drivers in their cars waiting on side roads to get onto the main road – it became very evident that this played out at every junction my driver wanted to get out onto – nobody was prepared to let them in and the frustration grew! I made a playful comment about this and as my driver chose to be more aware of others needs on the roads, so too was our way opened up before us – other drivers courteously waiving us out in front of them at every opportunity and the remainder of the journey was a joy.
Thank you Stephanie, what a beautiful example!
I drive a lot at the moment, and I find it fascinating how much we can affect each other on the road, insulated as we are in our little automobiles, yet every decision made is in relation to all the other vehicles and people travelling together at that time.
It is interesting as when people get behind the wheel it starts to bring out their true qualities and sometimes if not a lot of the time it is very revealing. I know I have found this with myself and been taken back by my response to a situation, then I realised that something else was going on and festering inside of me that I didn’t want to look at. Great blog, thank you.
Thank YOU Natalie, I must say that with my own driving it is constant work in progress and I do sometimes let things slide and have to pull myself back up. I realise now that I have been driving for about 47 years and things are changing all the time around me; a bit like life really.
Noticing how drivers are not present -feeling it – used to bring up a whole different layer of frustration in me, even more so than drivers who were aggressive. Why was this? It felt that there was such an indifference to human life, themselves and others, in being checked out behind the wheel hurtling along, even when driving quite slowly and being within the speed limit, because of the reckless unaware way they were driving. I have more recently understood that this reaction in me was also about how people make many choices that show indifference to themselves and others in so many aspects of life and the lack of care, triggered a deep and old hurt within me, that such driving triggered and a small observation would trigger an out of proportion response. It has been great to go a long way towards understanding my part in reacting like this rather than holding on to blame and letting go of that hurt.
Such a great observation Simon. As an arena of human activity, driving seems so much to make us critical and judgmental of others with responses, as you say, so disproportionate, that at times the car just seems to become a ‘Couch’ on wheels, and the journey, a healing session.
This is very revealing of my habits which are highlighted when driving in my ‘bubble of isolation’ and that isn’t specific to the car. Jonathan your article has me pondering what and who I become when the driving force takes over and I am disconnected, distracted and carried away in the motion. When I enter the isolation I am still interacting with the all so I have an impact with no awareness like remote control and that feels so empty. Why do I go there cause I know that’s when I am not choosing me … Lots to ponder.
You are spot on Jonathon. I have often pushed the speed limit in my impatience to get somewhere. Lately I have changed, driving with more care and attention as I am feeling the responsibility more for myself, other road users and the general public. I can definitely recommend it as a way to arrive at a destination feeling more refreshed, alert and generally settled in my body, not to mention the safety aspect.
Lots to appreciate in what has been said but I can absolutely attest to the fact that since listening to Serge Benhayon my driving has changed and I no longer have the anxiousness and drive that I used to have – I will get to where I want to get to when the moment is right. One thing that I do recall is being pulled up in a 30mph zone doing 42mph. I didn’t get a ticket but promised the policeman that from that moment on I would always observe the speeding limit in that village and I have – and this was over 10 years ago and I go through it at least 4 times each week. And just in case you ask I also now keep to the speed limits in restricted areas out of respect to the people who live there and it’s a pleasure to do so.
Thank you for sharing that Michael. I certainly think that the 30 mph zones are the most challenging and they are also the most stringently policed. In France it’s just the same, with the equivalent being the 50 KPH zones. You were extremely lucky with your 42 mph which is about 40% over the limit. Modern cars with their gearing make this difficult, unless one disciplines oneself to stay in second or third gear, which I find works for me personally. I must add that I find the 70 mph limit on British motorways totally unrealistic, and most of the time, the police seem to think so too and turn a blind eye to those doing 75/80. In France it is 130 KPH (80mph) on autoroutes except during heavy rain when it is 110 KPH, somewhat more realistic I think.
This is such a beautiful reminder to be consciously present when driving. I often get distracted, look at my phone when stopped at the lights, for no reason other than to distract myself from myself in the moment……so why do i do that? this is the question to ask, the answers can vary, but the main one is to not truly feel what is going on, to distract myself from feeling. So having read this, it has been a wonderful reminder to connect and be with me whilst in the car.
We can drive ourselves to distraction by just not being with ourselves, then every action adds the pressure of further actions without presence, then its like the snowball rolling down a mountain, it gains more momentum and size and becomes harder to adjust.
It becomes harder to adjust and we often do not even notice how we wander away from ourselves more and more with every moment where we are not present. It is about stopping, looking at it with honesty and from there making different, loving choices, that lead us back to ourselves.
Thanks Jonathon. Today I was driving and noticed how much we do live in our own little world whilst we drive. When I considered connecting with what was happening with the other drivers, and everything around me i became a lot more aware of what is actually happening out there. Its amazing once we just leave our little world for two minutes and feel what is going on around us. It was a totally different driving experience.
Hi Jonathan, I was thinking of you today while watching a car ad on tv. Quite right, a lonely car up on a windy road seemingly in the mountain. You rarely see an ad taking place outside the supermarket or some other place where it’s more likely we’ll use it.
Hello Matts, I find it great fun to imagine putting different cars into everyday practical situations. For example, imagine going to the tip, (rubbish and re-cycling centre), with one of those low-slung, red Italian cars which cost the same as a house, and which always seem to have an engine where the shopping normally goes!
What a sweet funny and eye opening blog to enjoy re-reading. Great observations on life and the behaviours in different situations. Today it reminded me of some of the drives home after Universal Medicine events, where with no great effort, my presence was such that the whole drive was super smooth and easy, and my surround sound stereo type awareness so heightened it was like I was driving on radar – and my kids made a tally of the number of times I said, ‘kangaroos around’ because I FELT them, and THEN my kids would spot them. Driving and living in connection and presence with our body really can change everything to a whole new level.
I love how much the people on the road with me when I am so expanded and aware can become like bees in a hive. Contrast from how things tend to be, but one of my favourite scenes from kids movie is in ‘the bee movie’ near the start where Barry bee and his friend cross the road in the hive and everyone drives seamlessly around them in total harmony. A playful reminder of what’s possible when we live, and so drive with more harmony, and much much less grrrr.
Thank you for your Bee analogy Kate, it reminds me of somebody’s comment about Vietnam elsewhere on this blog.
They were saying that despite the traffic there appearing to be chaotic, everyone seemed to be in tune with what their neighbours were doing and the resulting flow was impressive, a bit like your bees, more buzzzz than grrr.
Simply gorgeous Kate. Our conscious presence and awareness changes everything in cars, in life!
From sensing Kangaroos and then seeing them to ‘favourite scenes from kids movie is in ‘the bee movie’ near the start where Barry bee and his friend cross the road in the hive and everyone drives seamlessly around them in total harmony’.
I absolutely love re-reading your blog Jonathan – it is one of my favourites. There are so many parts that I can recognise that I have seen or done myself. I absolutely know what you are talking about here: “have you ever noticed that in advertising material the featured vehicle is always alone on some coastal highway with vistas to die for and there is not another single vehicle in sight!”. There always also seems to be some water beautifully splashing over the car, or driving through an desert – both of which would make my car extremely dirty in real life! Interesting what you have suggested, about how the car separates us from the ‘outside world’ – a great point to ponder
Thank you Jessica, I must say that those advertising folk, in their quest to grab our attention, leave absolutely no stone unturned when it comes to narrative creation around the ‘central character’ i.e. a motor car. Apparently ‘autonomous’ vehicles, heavily anthropomorphised, parading the streets and presenting their looks to admiring onlookers, like fashion models, is just one example that I’ve seen. This visual ‘sleight of hand’, seems to be moving the car ads more in the direction previously taken by tobacco companies, (when it was still allowed to advertise their products). These ads rely on a sort of ‘tease factor’ where there’s a challenge involved in actually de-coding what is being presented.
Love your humour and observations of human behaviour behind the wheel Jonathan. Every morning I have to enter a busy highway which can involve waiting for a gap in traffic that seems like hours, but in reality is never more than a few minutes. At first I would get agitated and avoid the wait by taking other routes, relieved because I was moving, making progress. But then I realised that people who had waited in the queue were well ahead of me – the sense of movement was not progress at all, just an illusion. Now I see the enforced pause as moment to stop and check where I’m at. If I’m a bit racey because I’ve left later than planned I reflect on that and now appreciate the opportunity to come back to myself. It’s amazing how the traffic opens up when I am ready; and if it takes longer than usual, that’s OK too.
A brilliant observation hartanne60, I’ve always had an aversion to queueing myself, and would deliberately go miles out of my way just to avoid it. Like you I have recently realised that joining a queue, guarantees (albeit slow) progress and one can be pleasantly surprised by it. There are just so many life situations too that this can apply to, not just on the road. As you say, it’s an opportunity to come back to yourself.
It’s funny actually Jonathon, you’ve really captured how I have been when I’m on the road. I have absolutely felt like I’m in a video game to which I have the controls. I can absolutely be in a bubble all to myself where no one else matters and the challenge of getting from A to B is wading through the sea of cars on the road through strategic and clever (read arrogant) moves.
Losing my licence has had me reconsider my plan of attack…and perhaps leave it behind. Now, whilst I don’t drive and take public transport to work, I’ve noticed how much more preparation I need in the morning, and so being even more organised than I was before is paramount for me getting to work on time. This extra level of organisation is really supporting me to have a better start to my day, and as a result I feel less anxious and less competitive…especially as I have no control over the forever delayed train schedule!
Thank you Elodie, as a lifetime London commuter, I have, like you, had a few experiences of the vagaries of public transport. As far as London is concerned, using the car is a bit of a no-brainer. However it is interesting to note the differences between the shortcomings of each system, (road v. rail) and the way people seem at times more tolerant of the problems as long as they are behind the wheel. I must say though, that on a good day, being able to sit back and read while the scenery moves past, is a pleasure that is denied the ardent motorist. Another thing that is denied them is the sense of comradeship and brotherhood that emerges in the face of adversity, for example during the various metropolitan terrorist bombing campaigns that I have experienced during my working life.
Great blog Jonothan. Conscious presence behind the wheel is something that I have to keep reminding myself of. Sometimes I can get all the children to school and not remember the drive there. They are all chatting etc and I lose concentration, however I find that if I am present with myself they calm down also and the drive is a lot more calm.
Hello Heidi, I have noticed in London, that some mums buy old London black cabs especially for the ‘school run’. These taylor-made robust vehicles have the wonderful feature of a glass screen between the mum and her charges. Something which I’m sure many of them really take advantage of!
Thanks Jonathan. I couple of hefty speeding fines in a school zone which caused me to nearly lose my license was my full stop to call me to be more present whilst driving. I still get lost in thought and find my foot on the pedal going faster than I intend to, but it is slowly changing as I make the commitment to be with me as I drive. I spend a lot of time in my car driving, so I take it as a check in opportunity to feel where I really am at in terms of my own connection with my body.
Thank you Donna, it’s a great opportunity isn’t it to connect with yourself!
Super blog Jonathan. It reminded me of times when I have come across a slow driver just tootling along, it’s often a reflection of me not having allowed myself that extra time for travelling.
Bearing in mind Sally, that nothing happens just by chance, the snail in front, is there for a very good reason. It is up to you to decide what exactly this means and act upon it.
Love this blog Jonathan. You have broadened my horizons. This has made me ponder on my behaviour behind a wheel. I know when I am not present with myself when driving things happen and I tend to get abusive and self righteous. I blame the other driver instead of taking responsibility for the part I play in the situation. I have become aware more recently of whether I am present while I am driving and if so the trip is a lot smoother. It is a work in progress as there are times when I am thinking of other things and not focussed on the drive.
My driving quality of presence is one of my works in progress too Anne. Some days I catch myself acting as if I own the road. I break the speed limits. I am impatient with other drivers who “are in my way”. Sometimes I arrive at my destination without any awareness of how I got there. And on the days that the journeys flow, I feel the depth of my connection to all fellow human beings. My driving quality is an unequivocal marker for me.
In the rush to get somewhere we can ‘lose it’ totally and forget who we are. As frustration, anger and even rage kicks in, anything goes, and we think we that we can justify behaving badly, that we are above all the things that we expect from others – courtesy, respect, understanding and patience and brotherhood.
How beautiful to let all that go, and let presence and harmony drive me wherever I go.
So true Jenny – its like the flip of a switch sometimes how these emotions can kick in when driving along in the ‘bubble’ of the car. The preferred way of driving for me too is being in presence with myself and harmonious with brotherhood and connection with others on the road (and elsewhere!).
Absolutely Jenny, the ripple effect of us all on the road can be like a tsunami or, it can be gentle, rhythmical and in harmony with each other. Its our choice.
Yes lucindag, anonymity is cowardly and irresponsible and I am guilty of it almost everyday in the way I drive. This blog has made me so much more aware of my driving, if I am rushing, judging, checking out… It has been an awesome companion on my journeys!
I know Bernadette. It is the coolest blog for being with me in the car and in life. Amazing how the metal and glass bubble makes us feel like “car-woman” (or man). I am no longer me, I am an invincible thing!! Get outta my way!!
Awful the way the personality change can just steal over us, and then decency and respect are out the window.
Great observations of our accepted patterns of behaviour around driving. It reminds me of cyber bullying, just because we are locked away in our individual capsules we seem to think this gives us license to behave how we like, vent any of the day’s frustrations/angers on another without really considering the impact this is having on us let alone passing traffic. Universal Medicine presentations, on responsibility and heightened self awareness, allow us to turn around these seemingly small daily frustrations by tracking back to the source and making changes that no longer allow these pattern to be.
We do tend to drive on auto, at times I know I do. The car seems to be the one place that we are doing something (driving) that we place outside of everything that we are. Creating a ritual while driving keeps me present to what is going on, but at times I have no recall of a journey just taken – where was I? Certainly not present to anything. A journey in process shall we say?
This is a great article Jonathan, what you have written here is so true, ‘Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside.’ I am working on being more present when I am driving, feeling my hands on the steering wheel, my bottom on the seat, it is so easy to drift off and after a couple of near misses it seems super important to be present and focussed on driving and what is going on around me.
I had never thought about being present whilst driving until a presentation by Serge Benhayon inspired me to do so and considered my self to be a slow and considerate driver.
What I realized was, that I somehow managed to get safely from point A to B, but that was it. How I got there what traffic signs there had been, etc. did get lost on the way. By continuously checking where I am at in my body, things have changed a great deal and I am much more present whilst driving.
“I can recall being with the most mild-mannered people who, after a few minutes behind the wheel, became judgemental and expressed regular disapproval of their fellow road-users, becoming quite worked-up in the process. ” This is so true Jonathan. as you mention in your article, we can feel insulated from the world when in our steel bubble. Driving on auto-pilot is so familiar to many of us and motorists often feel they have a God-given right to their piece of road. Learning to be more consciously present when I drive, and in life, is thanks to what has been presented to me through Universal Medicine courses and workshops.
Thank you Sue, I would like to imagine that at some future date, there would be a ‘Universal Medicine’ section in the Highway code at the very least, with questions on it forming part of the driving test!
Yesterday a traffic alert advised me that there was 2 miles of slow moving traffic on my side of the motorway following an accident that had been cleared….however there was a 5 mile tailback of near stationery traffic on the other side that had been caused by drivers looking across at the accident!!
Thank you Kathie, now if that doesn’t blow the myth of the ‘individual’ out of the water I don’t know what does! Everybody was just behaving in an interconnected way, as if we were all chips off the same block.
Reading this a few times has meant I have considered and reconsidered my driving style. I have become aware that I drive faster than I used to but with much more care. I notice that my car has had very few scrapes on it recently. It has however got quite a few from the past when I used to throw it around a bit. It is interesting to reflect on how the state of our car offers a reflection of where we are at within ourselves. I make sure I clean and vacuum my car regularly now as well, it is cared for as I am. And some times I get a very slow “Sunday driver” pull out in front of me and I ponder what there is for me to learn rather than getting frustrated.
‘It is interesting to reflect on how the state of our car offers a reflection of where we are at within ourselves.’ – This is a great point Samantha and one I can relate to.
Sometimes I am surprised there are not more accidents on the road considering the level of distraction that can take place in a car these days. I have seen people getting ready for work in their car – shaving, doing hair, putting on makeup, getting dressed. With the increase in technology there is more risk on the roads. Now we have DVD’s for the kids, mobiles, music and internet at our fingertips. With all of these distractions constantly multiplying is this a hint that conscious presence and simplicity are super powerful?
Thank you for your colourful observations Vicky, I’ve seen some quite humorous variations on this recently, like the person glued to their mobile while attempting a rather hamstrung, single-handed 3-point turn! The wry looks from the waiting drivers said it all!
Shaving!!? Wow yes that would definitely be a distraction! Also it brings to focus how much we rush, are late, and don’t give ourselves the space and time to get ready in a self-loving way. For me I really notice the difference if I give myself time to get ready and not rush instead of running around trying to remember everything before I am late .. so of course this momentum will have an impact the driving .. it will be less present and careless which is not a great feeling. When you said shaving I am guessing it was a man shaving his face and not a woman shaving her legs!
Yes Vicky – distractions revealed whilst driving are beyond belief sometimes. Yesterday a woman driving in front of me nearly crashed her car when trying to peer through a hedge to look at house renovations going on there – the front wheel of the car actually mounted the pavement! Having got herself back on the road this lady then was continually looking in the mirror to check her lipstick, sun glasses and how the fashion scarf wound round her head was looking.
Thankfully we went in opposite directions at the traffic lights.
Yes vickylcooke, it was a man shaving his face. I saw a new one yesterday. It was a woman putting on her mascara at the lights. Seeing all this on the road makes me appreciate the presence and quality we can bring to our driving, using each trip to observe and feel what we are choosing and what we are reflecting.
🙂 You just can’t assume these things today Vicky – I’d put money on someone having tried it! The longer I have been driving the more things I’ve seen that no longer shock me no matter how concerning. People push the limit and the law when controlled by the illusion of time, so it is not uncommon for them to not have prepared themselves sufficiently to have the space to do what needs to be done before they get in the car. Observing people on the road and in their cars can be as entertaining as watching TV and certainly forces you to be present when so many aren’t.
Your comment made me stop Vicky… your right. The distractions are only multiplying and becoming more intense. Simply focusing on the here and now does wonders.
That is so true Vicky, it is so tempting to look at a text, email or even take a call while driving but really it is not the time or the place. Any distraction that enters that space or any space for that matter can only cause disruptions.
So true Natalie – any distractions can only cause disruptions.
Since Vicky Geary wrote of things that people have been seen doing in cars – I am aware of more ‘incidents’. Yesterday a woman driving whilst brushing her hair and leaning forwards talking into her phone microphone on the dashboard.
Yikes!
Yes very true Vicky – the level of distraction is going through the roof. I heard the other day, that some people look at their smart phone around 150 times a day. Wow, sometimes I ask myself, what have we done in the past without smart phone, tablets, computers etc. ? And I’m glad to understand more and more, that stillness, conscious presence and simplicity are so powerful.
I love your style of writing Jonathan, the humor is showing how ridiculous some things are. I also love how you reflected on your own behaviours on the road. I can sometimes indeed be annoyed by people speeding in my street but what do I do myself? Great to ponder on and act on.
I loved reading your blog Jonathan. Thank you for your wisdom and gentle reminder to be consciously present when driving.
This is a great reminder for me to be more considerate with others and more present in my body whilst on the road, these definitely bring more joy and less distraction whenever I am driving.
A great blog Jonathan, a great point about all the car adverts showing the cars on the road alone, enticing us to believe that we are the stand alone vehicle! I find that driving is another way of me expressing and how I use my car (and treat it) is a reflection on how I am running my body. Great to observe and take note of the days when I may be going a bit fast or feeling a bit impatient on the road. All great indications of how I am feeling and choosing to be in my body.
I get heavy on the brakes and the accelerator when I have let myself drift off. The result is mild whiplash(!) and the point perfectly made that my body is calling me back.
I have also noted that slight pushing at others to “come on!!! hurry up”. If I am doing that I take stock of myself..Why the rush? Why the push?I know how I feel when others do it to me…really do not like it at all. So why would I chose to inflict that on another person, and myself too?
Gosh I love driving. It is a healing self awareness session from the moment you open the garage door…
Absolutely Rachel! This is a really good point, that we are all at some time or another, guilty of inflicting the very sort of driving behaviour upon others, that we so dislike when we ourselves are on the receiving end of it! In a way it’s rather reassuring because it simply demonstrates that we are all equal and just ‘chips off the same block’.
‘..a healing self awareness session’ – totally love that… sadly so far from what seems to be the norm out on the roads where people can be seen and felt focusing only on getting from A to B and god help you if you get in their way.
I am learning not to compress myself, speed up or get afraid when I feel that “get outta my way!!” energy from a driver behind me. Rather I get a sense of what is going on for them, what is ‘driving’ them to be that way. This is a far more empowering way to drive.
Thank you Beverley, I really find the car adverts laughable these days because they have so clearly run out of cliches that there is now a sort of irony involved in which the viewer becomes a willing participant.
Great blog! This made me consider that not only do we often become different characters behind the wheel, but that any activity which takes us away from a connection to feeling our bodies can ‘drive us to distraction’… In other words, simply being something we naturally are not.
Thank you Angela. I find that in a way it is reassuring that inconsiderate drivers are not anywhere near as bad as their driving suggests them to be. They are merely disconnected and therefore, ‘not themselves’.
True, once a driver is disconnected from the task at hand there is no end of the damage possible.
Agree, once we are no longer paying attention, focusing or present. Who knows what the outcome will be. Whatever we do it won’t be to our benefit.
I agree Angela, I too have noticed how when we do any activity that can take us away from ourselves and are ‘driven to distraction’ we can begin acting in a way that is completely unnatural and goes completely against the character of a person
I agree Angela, understanding my driving behaviour is one of the most difficult things for me.
Well said Angela – Yes, this disconnection does come down to taking on another character to “be something we naturally are not” and in this chosen state, unawareness is prevalent leading to disregard of self and others.
I love that you wrote ‘Just after the 2013 Universal Medicine retreat at the Lighthouse, I remember getting into the hire car, driving up to the junction at the top of the road and immediately feeling my calm and serene self being challenged by a palpable energy of aggression and intolerance.’ It is so exposing when we feel we have left somewhere calm and serene only to react to what is going on around us once we have left that space. It is just a gentle reminder that maybe we are not as calm and serene as we thought in the first place : )
Or could it be Vicky, that in our arrogance we somehow expect everything to have instantly changed, simply because we have. We are ‘returning to work’ after our ‘holiday from reality’ and we are shocked when reality rudely interrupts our calm reverie. However, fortified and inspired by our few days of concentrated calm, we can go forth armed with our refreshed energy of Love!
Great point Jonathan and the key is to not waver and get caught up in the rude reality and claim the still harmonious quality that you have connected to when attending Universal Medicine. As we know and can feel that is who we truly are and not the craziness that we can go into.
Absolutely Jonathan, if the world is a reflection, then let US be a reflection to the world of our newfound stillness and not absorb whatever may come our way on our journey home, even on the M25!
Oh, that is so true and I have felt myself do that at times ‘I feel lovely so everyone else should!’, as Natalie points out it is not to assume everyone will be the same but instead just stay connected to the loveliness felt and meet others from this.
Very funny Jonathan, and so true, it is a shock and especially so because I can also see how much I have also contributed to that craziness when I’m not connected and living from that centre. Then it becomes a matter of observing and choosing to not add to it one iota more…well as much as possible anyway… no perfection 🙂
It seems a wondrous concoction (and I would know) when you have “… the feeling of being insulated from reality” and a complete loss of conscious presence. A long story short, one could ask themselves: if it’s unlike me to fume and get angry easily with others, what is happening when I do in the comfort and bubble of my car? The answer to that question, could very well reveal much in terms of all the other areas of our life that seemingly automatically filled-up with mental activity when we switch-off.
Indeed Oliver, our cars are wonderful examples for the little bubbles or kingdoms we create that seemingly allow us to feel superior and have control over what is going on.
With the car, only we decide on the speed, the temperature in the car, the destination and on whom and what we take along with us on our journey. This is so seductive, but so far from the truth as in isolation we are not ruling a kingdom, but have locked ourselves into a cage of loneliness that does not let us see and feel all the beauty that is around us which is so touchable if we don’t put ourselves into cages and boxes.
Such a great analogy michael, that our cars are our kingdom that we see fit to rule over. We can feel untouchable, so our behaviour can reflect that, being imposing, aggressive, arrogant. Yet we are indeed isolating ourselves and being very ignorant to what is actually at play, that we are just one of many and we are all intertwined and interconnected all the time. But if we lock ourselves in and not feel that interconnectedness, we don’t get to see and feel all that is there on offer to us each and everyday. The symbols that are shared by nature and people that can help reflect what it is within us that can assist us to be more love.
Michael and Oliver, I feel that the conversation here has changed gear yet again, and is now cruising along with wonderful new vistas opening up! Are we a good king, cognisant of the needs and wishes of the other states surrounding our kingdom and with whom we are interdependent, or are we a selfish,brooding and isolationist monarch, harbouring petty jealousies and feelings of aggression towards our neighbours? I think ” Cage of loneliness” is such a wonderfully descriptive phrase, and I wonder just how many drivers are out there in their “cages of Loneliness”. I suspect that the answer to this would make us feel quite uncomfortable.
Yes so true and as our car represents our body could it be possible that we do the same with in our bodies. I’m sure I do at time but these days I am far more present and aware in my body.
For sure, michaelkremer2212, individualism reigns supreme in almost all cars – and don’t dare ever say anything if you are a passenger: the ultimate affront to one’s alleged driving skill! It can be as though there is a belief in diplomatic immunity when behind the wheel.
Yes Michael and this analogy also extends onto Cyber-bullying because people can sit in their own little bubble at the computer and imagine themselves ruler of their kingdom where they think they can get away and say whatever they like. But as you say, it is far from the truth.
‘…locked ourselves into a cage of lonliness that does not let us see and feel the beauty that is around us which is so touchable’ … absolutely… to deny ourselves this beauty for any kind of separation, regardless how seductive we can make it appear, is ridiculous for it is still separation.
“…the feeling of being insulated from reality”… that seems to me a great comparison to that of being an anonymous “cyber bully”, whether it be behind a computer screen or behind a wheel of a car. Why is it that we feel we can get away with not being ourselves by taking out our anger and frustration at others, when we switch off in our own little anonymous bubble, where we feel “safe”?
Great blog, the comments/conversation is revealing even more of what happens when we drive. No doubt that presence is most important when driving, this was confirmed for me very recently in not seeing some pedestrians, who were people I know, until the last moment! It was simply because I wasn’t present at that time. Fortunately everyone survived to have a chuckle about it later, nonetheless, I take on board that wake up call to always sharpen my focus when driving.
I was driving on the motorway the other day – it was quite busy – when I realised my body was really tense. When I reconnected to myself, I could feel what was going on – basically I had been trying to get clear of all the cars so I was driving as fast as the traffic would allow, but constantly being ‘held up’ by cars getting in my way (as I was thinking then). This is how I have always driven on the motorway – foot down and get through and away from everyone else as quickly as possible. It’s like I feel I’m not part of the traffic – that it’s just there in my way but I am separate from it – and as you say Jonathan, judging and criticising my fellow human beings who are simply going about their day. It felt so great to slow down, to allow myself to be part of the group of humanity that was sharing the motorway with me that day. It supported me to connect to the fact that this wasn’t just cars and traffic, but other people. If we drive with this awareness, second only to our awareness of ourselves, we will make ripples and then waves of consideration and care of our fellow road users.
I love the awareness you have here Lucy – “It felt so great to slow down, to allow myself to be part of the group of humanity that was sharing the motorway with me that day. It supported me to connect to the fact that this wasn’t just cars and traffic, but other people”.
Everywhere in everyday it all comes back to – it is ALL about people! Thank you for sharing Lucy.
‘sharing the motorway’ – suddenly driving on a busy motorway is not a struggle to be overcome, endured or conquered but an opportunity to appreciate the team we are. Thank you, Lucy.
I think this a beautiful example Lucy! We seem to want to ‘escape from the pack or herd’ , merely to slow down and end up cruising along with the pack again, further along the road. I suspect that perhaps we become momentarily seduced by the power of our steed and that awareness and consideration returns once we realise that we are all in effect sharing the same space and the same objectives.
Learning to drive with conscious presence, what a wonderful possibility Brendan.
Jonathan I can relate to what you say about being consciously present whilst driving. I find when I’m driving over a bridge there is the temptation to look to see how much water is in the river , especially if we’ve had lots of flooding rain. A few days ago someone must have been doing the same and I heard a screeching of brakes and of tyres I held my breath for the collision but thank heaven it didn’t happen. It has made me more conscious of what I ‘m doing and those behind as well.
I enjoyed your blog Jonathan. I used to be a driver who was always late and always dreaming up excuses for being late the whole time I was driving. Exhausting!
I drive very differently now and have a car that has a wonderfully supportive drivers seat and when I get in my car to go somewhere, especially long distances, I often like to imagine that I am just sitting in an armchair and that wherever I am going is actually coming towards me. All I have to do is sit there and be very present and focussed to do what is needed, enjoy observing the road, myself as I am driving and everything around me. It feels almost as if my car is motionless and everything around me is moving past me. It is a peculiar but also lovely feeling and when I stay present it seems to be no time at all that the destination arrives and there is no tiredness in me from push or rush or lack of presence. Much more pleasant for passengers too.
I think that this is a great image Jeanette, of your destination actually coming to you rather than the other way round!
This sounds like a perfect way to travel to me.
Great Blog Jonathan, on a topic that affects a large portion of the population. In my experience in the past, I had this thing about getting somewhere on time and so usually left enough time to get there, but my anxiety arose when others got in my way by cutting in front, or driving slow. I would see them as the cause of making me late which made me very anxious and constantly driving in that frustration. Now, my driving is so much more relaxed as I choose to drive from my body with consideration and care, and not from the push, push, push from my head to get somewhere.
This is so true Julie, that the head just merely ‘gets in the way’ a lot of the time while driving, while feeling from the body with care and consideration is more relaxed and smooth.
Haha, love your sense of humour Jonathan, less chattiness and increased conscious presence is definitely a small price to pay :). Enjoy being with you more as I’m sure others on the road do!
Distraction is such an obvious tool to go into when you don’t want to be with yourself but it is so subtle and slips in so easily. To keep that pattern going and not wanting to connect to yourself leaves us feeling empty and lost, hence more distraction. The vicious cycle!
I remember in my mid 20’s being invited to participate in a panel called ‘Peace and Justice for the world’ – giving a young person’s view. i was considered a ‘leader’ given my work in the community with young people. Driving there I was running late and this person was going very slow in front of me. I got very frustrated and overtook them and gave them the rude finger. In truth, I was running late because I hadn’t left enough time for whatever reason I can’t remember now. The point is that I would get angry at people on the road who were ‘inconveniencing me’ or ‘holding me back’ – when in fact I was responsible for being late. I did reflect as soon as I had given the person the rude finger, how ridiculous it was that I was going to speak at this forum about ‘peace etc… when I had just acted in the way that I had. I shared this in my opening talk at the forum – and reflected on how we can talk ‘peace’ as being some big ideal we need to aim for, or we can look at it as something that day to day in our own lives we can choose and create.. Nowdays I understand that peace is a construct that simply means ‘no war’ and it is miles from the harmony of the inner-heart and brotherhood – however the same lesson still applies for me that I cannot find it outside of myself and that it starts with me taking responsibility for my life and to stop blaming others and the world for my choices…
I have just started driving again after having had a nine month break and it’s amazing to feel the flow and see the interaction of the traffic, everyone has a place and the timing is like a ballet.
Then other days it’s like a free for all, people cutting in, rushing, stuck at every light, not feeling quite confident enough to be out on the roads. I love driving, it teaches me a lot.
This is a superb and inspiring blog Jonathan thank you. I do not drive but have experienced on numerous occasions the “change” of gentle people into angry and aggressive individuals simply behind the wheel. So true that being in a confined space as a car easily creates an illusion that we then become separate from everything and everything else–more superior–as it is “our” space. But the “our” actually refers all of us, rather than just one, the person behind the steering wheel.
Being in my car is a great place to practise conscious presence … I love how the car is a great symbol for how I treat myself in my body.
I am with you on his Suzanne – the car is indeed a great place to practise conscious presence – I really enjoy driving like this and journeys seem to be much shorter than they actually are!
No more am I an island than anyone else. To try and live as such is futile and irresponsible.
Thanks Jonathan for a great blog! Great point about feeling as though we are in a bubble when we are driving, that we feel invincible. Perhaps that is great marketing. My last traffic infringement was in 1994. Ever since I have been far more present in my driving (with just the teensiest bit of aggression occasionally).
Cool piece of writing. What a gorgeous simple and very steady approach to how we can drive and actually the truth behind our driving. I love it. Makes me very conscious of how I hold the wheel and sit in my car. Absolutely agree, I have driven around with stress, emotion etc. too, and I can also remember always feeling disturbed that people drive with such haste and stress and speed through the village I live in. But guess what, time for me to first make the change, maybe then also others start noticing:) Driving consciously and present – is a great way to drive my car:)
I love your humour around a very serious matter. What happens on the road can be a source of major frustration for so many people.
I can relate to the disconnection to my surroundings when I am in the capsule of a modern car. One of our sons built a go-kart and I had a turn at driving this around a field, I was only travelling at about 10-15 mph but the wind in my face, feeling every bump in the ground, and the roar of the lawnmower engine – it was really quite scary how fast and intrusive to my surroundings it felt.
Well felt Mary! We are so cushioned in comfort in modern day car capsule’s, bumps in the ground and the roaring engine are hardly noticed. Awareness is certainly required when driving to not get lost in comfort.
Thank you Mary for that lovely image! So many things pass unnoticed in a modern car that are potential hazards for the unwary cyclist or scooter rider. Potholes, wet drain covers and small crossing animals to name a few.
For several years I rode a motorcycle…a shock to everyone who knows me now! Learning to ride petrified me. I felt utterly vulnerable without my bubble of protective metal, glass, belts, buckles and airbags. It was awareness that became my protection. The interesting thing was that it infused constant alarm and wariness. We were taught to anticipate lunacy at every turn on the roads. Great for building responsibility, pretty bad for the nervous system.
What I loved about the bike was the sense of connection to life; you smelt everything around you…eucalyptus trees, pizza restaurants, and dead animals! You felt the air pushing at your chest and buffeting your helmet. A strong side wind would push the bike sideways, frighteningly at times.
We don’t sense any of this in our “car-coons”. The bubble of detachment can become dangerously disengaged from reality, as you experienced Jonathan with the delivery of a driver into your backseat. In his little bubble he forgot the real world.
I no longer ride a motor bike, but have taken elements of what it taught me, minus the tension and wariness into my car driving.
Great point Mary. With no protection around you while driving a go-kart you were much more in touch with your surroundings. Driving cars today we are much less sensitive to what is actually going on.
Very interesting points here Rachel and Rebecca. One’s sharpened senses on the bike, smelling the Pizzas, trees and animals, (alive or dead) with your increased vulnerability
suggests how precious our lives feel when there is a potential threat to that existence.
Indeed Rebecca, it can become a comfort bubble very quickly.
Brilliant blog Jonathon. And the driving metaphor – whilst not really a metaphor as it stands on its own as a true example – is applicable to all of life really. We shut ourselves off from our sensory experiences by creating a bubble of comfort around us to insulate ourselves from the world, dulling our awareness of what is going on around us. If we all learnt to wind down our windows of comfort again, we would soon realise that we all breathe the same air in and out, and therefore we all have a collective responsibility to ensuring how that air is used – for the way one uses the air is going to affect everybody else. But if we create a bubble in which we do not have to feel the quality of the air around us (e.g. by winding up the windows and turning on the air conditioning), then we can live in the pretence that the way we live affects no one else. Substitute the word air for energy, and there you have the teachings of Universal Medicine in a nutshell.
Thank you Adam, very neatly put!!
There is nothing better than another driver being courteous and caring towards you on the road. I really appreciate these moments of kindness, no matter how infrequent they may be.
It’s just my opinion Matthew, but I believe that others reciprocate the kindness and consideration that one gives out, exponentially.
Such a great topic to raise Jonathan. Since learning about what conscious presence really means, and how simple it can be, through Universal Medicine, driving is most definitely something I bring as much awareness and presence to as I can. It’s actually a natural ‘check in’ with myself these days… with every journey I begin, I attune to how I’m sitting, and the feel of driving the car, i.e. how it feels from my body. Over the past few years, I’ve noticed just how easily that little bit of ‘rush’ or nervous tension leads to a tension in my foot on the accelerator, and pushing the car with some of that tension – a completely different experience to really attuning to the car and its engine and enjoying its power (where appropriate of course!).
I can also absolutely relate to what you’ve shared about being on 2 wheels on the road. Though I no longer ride the gorgeous Italian scooter I once had, riding brought far more attentiveness to my use of the road – to this day, I still feel the road surface more acutely (in a car), and have a level of vigilance that 2 wheels most definitely heightened. One simply cannot ride and NOT be present. And that’s the beauty of what your great blog brings, I’d say – responsibility, and our responsibility to ourselves and each other to be present on the roads. What indeed happens to our natural courtesy and care when driving? Why do we so easily lose ourselves when travelling at speeds that can result in injury so easily?
Being present assists us to really feel what’s going on – by all means, it’s not in our control, but it can surely make for a different, and far more relaxed driving experience – with each other – if we allow such simple attentiveness!
A pleasure indeed reading your comment Victoria. A very pleasant flow in how you write and easy to relate to, especially how the way we treat the accelerator gives us a very clear sign of how we are; harsh, driven, caring, attentive. It’s a very good highlighter.
Thank you for your beautiful comment Victoria. I have recently returned to two wheels in the shape of a large BMW
and one is so connected to one’s surroundings all the time, that when you return to the car afterwards your awareness is honed to razor sharpness.
It’s interesting what you said Matilda about waiting in a queue and the huffs and tuts that you hear. No different to waiting at a set of lights or being caught in a traffic standstill. What I feel in this situation is that the people around me have constellated together at the same time and in the same place and for that moment we are together. It’s an experience that we are all having at the same time and therefore we are connected. How we are in these situations is revealing, are we wanting to get moving or can we appreciate the connection we have with ourselves and everyone else around. It’s a great opportunity to just be with these people no matter who they are and a simple ‘hello’ can have a wonderful effect.
It’s true, Jonathon that inside our cars we can ‘somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside’.
The person who throws rubbish out the window seems to think it has gone and is not aware that they have littered the road and others have to look at it or clean it up.
‘Behind the wheel… in my bubble of isolation’ I can sing freely or sob loudly with a sense of complete privacy as people hardly ever look through the windows of other people’s cars. But I wonder why we feel the need to hide away to do this… kids don’t.
Hmm I used to be so aggressive from the safety of the car, pushing and wanting to speed past people – like it was my absolute right to be so arrogant and forceful. I recall once literally driving after someone because I was so furious with the way they had ‘treated’ me on the road. Not sure what I was going to do when I got there – so I came to my senses pretty quick. So consumed by my own lateness, hurriedness, general ‘hyped up’ unhappiness and anger with not just driving but with life – it was overflowing into every activity.
Now after spending the majority of the last decade addressing how I live with the guidance and support of the teachings from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I feel different in all areas of life which naturally flows on to my driving. If I am out or a little off in my day I can feel it instantly as I drive because I want to speed and play with the volume on my phone if it’s nearby etc. The opportunity then presents itself to follow a simple rhythm of windscreen, mirror, speedometer, hands, feet to start to bring me back.
I love driving whilst present, you naturally giveway to life because it flows and gives back to you.
I can really relate to what you say here Lee! I can remember years ago being caught up in someone else’s anger and wanting to pursue them etc etc…But now, doesn’t it feel so much better to just let them go, observe but not absorb their problems and continue on your way consciously present ?
“But is the feeling of being insulated from reality necessarily a good thing?”
I think this is a great question, one which is offering me some reflections on how I live.
I’ve just spent a couple of weeks in Vietnam (https://www.universalmedicine.com.au/services/unimed-retreats) and the traffic there has a completely different rhythm and flow than I’m used to in the UK. The roads are busy with mopeds, bikes, scooters, taxis, cars and lorries and yet there are no snarl ups, angry horns or hard breaking. The pace is very gentle and there is an intuitive quality to the way they ride together on the roads – any beeping is simply them looking out for each other. It’s like nothing else I’ve experienced on other continents. A lovely example of being aware of others on the road.
That sounds fabulous Rosanna! I can imagine everybody there being super tuned-in to each other, and the traffic being a bit like a great shoal of fish with much swirling movement but no collisions!
Absolutely Jonathan, it’s so lovely to watch and partake in when crossing the road!
I’ve also experienced the way they drive in Vietnam and at first I thought they were horn happy but I soon got to realise that the exchanges were not at all angry, but like you have said ‘they are looking out for each other’ and there is a huge difference to how the horns are used in the UK.
I have just experienced this same thing in Vietnam Rosanna – one morning I had the opportunity to observe the flow of traffic from a first floor balcony overlooking a cross roads below – after a few moments the sense of flow was undeniable – even people walking down the middle of the road, the occasional bike going against the traffic flow on the same side of the road and the cycles and scooters just weaving around them, accepting and integrating with everyone. At one point a parked car just backed out and reversed into the middle of the cross roads to change direction – the traffic just continued to encompass this without any emotion or upset – it was really beautiful to observe and feel this harmonious flow.
Thanks Stephanie, I can really feel the flow from the way you write.
This is a great blog and it reminds me of when I’m not consciously present in ALL that I do and how this can effect how understanding I am with people or how short tempered I Am with people .. It’s a powerful tool
I recently took a mini bus driving test and the instructor and I talked a lot about staying super present when driving. One of the things he suggested was having a conversation with yourself about everything you were observing and doing as you drove along. As I practised this I came to realise how super simple and supportive it is in just holding my awareness in the very current moment. There is also the opportunity to deepen this, by extending that conversation into how I am feeling, developing awareness around how much I am carrying from earlier in the day or previously. Then sharp focus back to my immediate surroundings and the gorgeous responsibility I have in every moment. A mini bus full of children is a great focaliser, in terms of full-on distractions alongside absolute responsibility.
I chat to myself endlessly when I drive Matilda! ” Now Mr. green car I just know you’re going to pull out……so we’ll just ease off a bit….there we are…. just as predicted…well done”. It’s great that these days you can feel quite comfortable chattering away to yourself as so many people do it on the pavement plugged into their hands-free devices that it’s no longer weird !
So true Jonathan – the more we are present, the more aware we are in every moment and then we can feel even more of what action is coming from other drivers..
Hi Jonathan, great blog bringing awareness to how we are on the road, this is no different to how we are outside of the car in our daily life with people. I too have often observed (and been part of at times, but not hugely, though it’s still the same no matter how big or small, it all adds up) frustration towards other drivers on the road, and it feels awful. Being in a car with another who is venting that frustration, anger or aggression feels just as harming too. I agree, we all need to take much more time to enjoy, slow down and be present whilst driving. It makes the journey much more enjoyable for all, whether you are inside or outside the car and you don’t come home a stressed, exhausted ball of anger or frustration.
Thank you Gyl, yes I would certainly rather enjoy my driving than get all stressed, and I will work at what ever it takes to achieve that.
Good point, Gyl, about when we are passengers and can be affected by the energy of the driver and others in the car. I’ve had more than one scary experience of being a passenger when the driver has been ‘a long way out of themselves’. I don’t mean drunk or drugged, just not present with themselves. What occurred was speeding in dangerous situations, yelling abuse at other drivers, taking risks, not paying attention to the road, erratic steering….. I chose not to even be taken anywhere by those drivers again, for my own safety. And I was once injured in a stationery car when a ‘not present’ driver ran full speed into the back of us – he had been arguing with his wife while driving!
That must have been terrible Dianne, being struck while in a stationary car! I hope you weren’t hurt too badly? One thing one can say is, that it must have terminated the argument quite dramatically, although it probably started another one immediately afterwards!
Yes, I have experienced being a passenger with drivers you describe – it is horrible to be in the car with, even their face and body take on a dramatic change and there is no awareness of anything other than the angry focus on the perceived offending driver in another car. A metaphor for life indeed – awareness or numbness with being so completely self absorbed and everything is acted out onto others to make it someone else’s fault, to avoid looking at our own behaviour that led to this in the first place. oh what a tangled and destructive web we weave in this state.
Reading this reminded me of another place we get frustrated and impatient with each other. Shops and queues! There can be a lot of huffs and puffs (and tuts!) in shops and queues. Which comes back to not wanting to be completely present where we are but wanting to be at the next place on our to do list instead!
That’s interesting Vicky, it’s a bit like wanting to use the ‘ Fast Forward mode’ on the TV remote, but adapted to daily life.
Reading your words again today Jonathan what stood out to me was the motoring industry sales pitch you mention, and its images of ‘freedom’. In this world of open vistas, what I notice is that there are no other people. Every message I have seen seems to equate driving with an escape from the ‘crowd’ and well, the rest of humanity. You describe perfectly, how this way of seeking freedom in isolation DOES NOT WORK. No matter which road we take, or brand of car we drive, we end up dealing, and in relationship with, other people. Surely it is time to embrace this fact and drive alongside each other as brothers.
Absolutely Joseph, it’s time to recognise that we are all in this together.
Jonathan, I loved reading what you shared here. Driving for me too has become one of the most consistent activities in my day where I am reminded to check in with myself and my quality of presence and connection. Upon entering the car, I have a whole little set of rituals that remind me to of this and I notice that I now become very present, still, tender and honoring in my touch and movements. Driving used to be for me and still is for so many a time to check out and go into ‘auto pilot’. I still notice myself getting distracted at times while driving, but I now have so many things I do in my car that have become imprinted as reminders to reconnect to myself that I notice I don’t stay ‘gone’ for long.
This is great Deborah,I have noticed quite a few other comments now mentioning this idea of a ‘checklist’ . The Feel of the steering wheel or the seat or the controls, to help maintain a constant state of presence and avoid ‘drifting off’.
Yes Deborah the re-imprinting is great to continually remind us to be in conscious presence whilst driving. It is the most awesome feeling to me to be able to appreciate the feel of the pedal under my foot, my back against the seat and the steering wheel under my hands. I had to get a soft steering wheel cover a whole back because the steering wheel was feeling far too hard against my hands and was really uncomfortable!
As we want to be respected, we also have to respect the other. It is like when you sit in this thing called car, human values are not valid anymore. There is a different kind of law, which says:’ you can do what you want, this is your little kingdom.’
That is true. And so many people turn into little tyrants of their little kingdom.
I love driving cars. And used to ride motorcycle too – which I finally quit. And after a few accidents and an increasing awareness I find myself using the left lane much more less that ever before. I enjoy the ride – look outside and do not rush myself. But all of that came only by me starting to build awareness and living a more consistent rhythm during my days. That makes sure that I will start the right time and don’t set myself under time pressure.
I love driving too Christina. There is no doubt that every time I get in the car, I can feel immediately how present or not that I am. Reading this blog has been very revealing and supportive! I can feel how driving my car can now become, not a bubble just for me and my schedule, but an opportunity to connect with myself and feel the impact I am having on the world.
Great blog Jonathan raising some awesome points. I loved what you wrote about the man tailgating you – it is extraordinary the amount of people who drive as if they are still in their living room – eating, on the phone, talking with their hands… driving with little concentration or care in some kind of multitasking auto pilot, so thank you for such a great reminder to be more present and considerate on the roads, it is much needed considering this and of course the amount of Mr Toads out there (love that ☺) I have found the flow and awareness that comes with this presence and consideration makes driving a pleasure regardless of the chaos on the roads or in the other cars so it’s well worth leaving the living room antics where they belong.
Thank you Samantha. It strikes me that as we become ever more pampered with technology and the latest “must have”, there is a trend towards a more.. me, me, me.. approach to everything, and driving is not immune to this.
In New Zealand we saw a man shaving in rush hour traffic and then a lady breast feeding her baby and putting on lipstick whilst still driving along a very busy road!
‘it is extraordinary the amount of people who drive as if they are still in their living room – eating, on the phone, talking with their hands’ – Absolutely Samantha; some smoking too!
Now that would be a good driving course.
You can always tell a lot about a person by the way they drive.
Super simply said and super spot on.
Yes I agree Dean – the way we do anything is very revealing.
so true Joseph
Definitely Dean – the way people drive is a very clear reflection of the mood and space they are in, be it rushed, excited, angry or stressed… All seems to be amplified when you put them behind the wheel.
Sure Susie, we do like to believe that nobody can see how rushed, excited, angry or stressed we are when we get behind the wheel of our cars… but actually everyone can see almost everything about us.
The mood we are in tends to get amplified when driving making it such a clear reflection.
Yeah the road is actually a fascinating place to observe people (myself included) as a lot of the way we deal with life plays out behind the wheel.
I was only thinking the other day of how I never used to let people merge into my lane ahead of me, and if they did happen to get under my guard I would be furious. At that point in my life I never used to let anyone in on a physical level as well.
This is gorgeous Tony. The way we are in our car is really just the way we are…everywhere. The car can unleash some stuff that we don’t always obviously show in life, but it is just there simmering in the background.
I was always a timid person in life, and far more aggressive in my car and on a motorbike, but that was only because I was in my little “bubble”. In fact I was always quite aggressive, but had it covered with a nice, mild veneer. The road just gave that boiling inner rage an opportunity to come out.
Yes I have seen this in myself too, not wanting another person to get ahead of us.. such strange behaviour when i look back on it.
I feel it comes from a need to control Dean, we want to be in pole position. As I look back at the time in my life when this was occurring I wasn’t taking the front step approach in my life, I was always in the back seat so to speak, being driven here, there and everywhere so because I wasn’t taking the reins in my life when I was driving I tried to make sure I was the one in charge, sadly at the expense of everyone I abused on the roads.
Yeah and funny, I didn’t really care about the danger i put myself in Tony. The way I drove my car on the road back in those days was reckless. In exactly the same way i also never thought twice about what I was putting my body through in life too. As long as I was having a good time I was always happy to ignore so many things going on in my body even when there was that loud voice in my head saying ‘be careful’ you really should be taking better care of yourself…
I have read many of the comments on this blog which I don’t always do and realise that if I knew someone was following me when I drive, there would be some days that I would drive differently… lots for me to ponder on this as I have been driving for nearly 40 years and can feel how much my driving reflects who I am… or rather the stuff I can let ‘drive’ me that is NOT who I am. Great blog Jonathan, thank you!
I feel that for a lot of people the car we love can also be the place we like to hop into and escape in. On the other hand when I am feeling fantastic in myself there is nothing better than getting into my car and driving graceful and carefully on the road, aware and respectful of all the other drivers around me and enjoying the drive with zero push to get anywhere.
Jonathan, your reflections on our driving behaviours are very insightful. There really is an individualism that goes on when we get in a car. We can perceive people as their vehicle or driving behaviour and as a hindrance to where we need to go, focussing on ‘me’ rather than ‘we’.
This is true Annie, there seem to be vehicles that encourage a hooligan in us and those which encourage a more benign approach!
Completely agree with you Annie. Driving is definitely seen as a one person show and not as a community as a whole . Driving on our busy roads is just another form of group work. If we all work together to be present within ourselves it aids everyone to arrive at their destinations safely.
Never an island and never alone. This is our joy and responsiblity.
Yes it is a bit of an ouch, scary and a wake up call to realise how we can at times become disconnected with what is happening outside when behind the wheel. The simple remedy is indeed conscious presence – and feeling, letting go, healing all of which is in the way of that.
Thank you Jonathan. When I drive to work it is very early in the morning, and my route takes me through sleepy country villages. I always make sure not to have my music too loud or to rev my engine at junctions, because I am aware that although I am on my way to start my day, that time of day is not the choice of all these people, and so I treat them with the utmost of respect to ensure they will not be woken up by me so early.
This is a truly beautiful approach Shami! On behalf of all those people that you didn’t disturb, a heartfelt thank you!
There is one enormous advantage that’s not often talked about when one’s life has a focus on conscious presence and inner-connection. And that is, if you only have one point left on your license, it can be seen as an opportunity to reconfigure an old ingrained paradigm and can have a profound and radiating effect on one’s life.
And if you are not, having one point left on your license is just simply ulcer country!
Thank you cjames for ‘ulcer country’. This sounds like a most inhospitable place!
It is a fascinating subject you have discussed here how we almost change our personality when we get into a car. I was caught speeding about a year ago and was offered driver training instead of points on my license. It was interesting to note that the majority at the training were people who were just not present and slipped a few miles over the speed limit – a few deadly miles if you are in a 30 zone. The trainer I was taught by was very present and I found I was really able to take on board what he presented because it was how he lived and how he personally drove. My driving has improved dramatically since this time and I am much more present and able to observe the road and its user.
Thank you Judy, friends who have taken their advanced test tell me, that you have to give a running commentary while you drive, of everything that is happening in front of you, as part of the test. Who is about to do what, etc etc…..So being present is essential.
‘….Our chosen vehicle gives us superiority over others’… well said….I’m also have been known to be one of these people…in this vacuum self contained bubble that powers along. When I start to feel the rumble of possible eruption I remind myself that there is another human being, person in that car, who also has a story, feelings and so forth, as you so well stated the key is PRESENCE… it is about bringing PRESENCE to driving…that is the antithesis to the irresponsible and unloving reactions that start to switch on in the world of the car…
Very true Karoline, driving is a good test of how we are with humanity and our fellow human beings. Are we patient and understanding? or do we bulldoze along in a rather imperious and uncaring fashion? It’s all out there!
I feel that the way we drive our car reflects the way we choose to live. Recklessly, irresponsibly, anxiously?
If you want insight into how I am ‘travelling’… throw me the keys and let’s go for a spin. Because let’s face it …our car, like our bodies, is our vehicle of expression. Feel driven and disconnected?… The ride is fast and uncomfortable. Feel lovely and connected …. The ride is smooth and a pleasure, no matter what the road conditions are like. 😊
Thank you Kathryn, a great reflection! We are how we drive.
That is a very simple but great reflection, a good way to check In with ourselves.
Well said Kathryn. Driving can also be something you do just with yourself so we can use this as an excuse to be not so aware – but what feels very important is the consistancy of how we are at all times – driving or not driving.
I love it Kathryn. Do you want to know me? Come for a drive! This could be a great, albeit risky way of dating. You really get to see each other as you live life! Yes…car dating!
It is also a great way to see ourselves very clearly. I had let my car accumulate some mess..not drastic, but a clear sign I was letting things pile up, unattended. So Jonathan, my car and my life received a tidy up, thanks to your gorgeous blog.
I love this Rachel…..”Car dating”, can you imagine? One look inside someone’s car and you know all you need to know about them! Some people would just run a mile when they saw inside certain cars!
Oh, Rachel, I am still laughing at the ‘car dating’ idea and people looking for dates suddenly rushing off to get their car super valeted!
All true Kathryn – how we drive and even how we keep our cars (e.g. clean, dirty, messy) are all reflections of the way we choose to live day to day.
Yes, so true Kathryn – reflections are offered to us 24/7 to see the effects of the choices we make which certainly shows up in our vehicles of expression – body and car!
Hey Jonathan, latest news – I’ve been driving SO differently since first reading and commenting on your blog. I make every move from getting into the car, starting, driving, parking, tidying up inside, getting petrol, getting out and locking up, as present, loving and tender as brushing my hair or cleansing my skin or tucking myself into bed at night. Even in the ‘hurly burly’ of peak hour traffic when the tensions are running high and I can feel it in the traffic, and people do nutty things that risk safety, I still feel calm and flowing. No feelings of anger or frustration in me. If I do have to swerve or dodge someone who’s on edge and making poor judgements, it’s just in the flow and I don’t feel stressed by it. Observing other people’s craziness is just funny, although I do feel for them because I was once there. And I wish they could enjoy feeling the way I do on the road. It’s awesome!
That’s absolutely brilliant Dianne! It’s great when you can just calmly observe what’s going on around you in all its bizarreness, and yet not absorb any of it but just remain an observer. I too, find calmness in witnessing other people’s excesses and as you say, one does feel for them, because one was once just the same.
Today I thought I’d be late for an appointment due to car & traffic issues, and was quite quickl able to feel that I was losing myself in rush. Then thought of this blog and what everyone has been sharing – and immediately brought myself back and became calm, joyful and present in driving. Then I arrived on time, ‘chilled out’ and ready to benefit fully from the appointment with my physio. These blogs are so important! What we share is supportive of everyone.
That is awesome, and inspiring.
I agree with you Dianne and Vicky, I am still enjoying re-reading this inspiring blog and its exposing and supportive comments many times over – a cartoon like picture of Mr Toad dashing along on his very wild ride pops into my awareness if any rushing or distracted energy comes into my driving. So Cool! Immediate Conscious presence with my body again.
Thanks to both of you Jonathan and Dianne for your inspiration. What a great way to set up the journey, by stopping the rush, the mission, the thinking ahead of what’s going to happen when you get there, – it can be such a trap for staying in the spin and not being absolutely present with yourself with what you are doing right there in the moment. I know there is a quality that is lost when this happens, and it is so easy to be distracted from feeling this too.
A good point Jonathan Cooke
As someone who regularly drives in central London, I have noticed there can be a lovely flow to it, despite the busy-ness of the roads. As you say, letting people feed off side roads in front of you and being aware of all that is going on well ahead, behind and around really supports this. Imagine if everyone drove that way! You are on to something here, Jonathan.
As a tip to share with others that a friend shared with me during a recent Lighthouse trip: to support you to ‘check in’ whilst driving, deliberately check your mirrors one at a time (anticlockwise) before you start your engine. I find it really helps.
Thank you for an excellent tip Jen! I too have my little ‘pre-flight checks’, like looking around the outside of the car, tyres, hidden obstacles etc. before getting in.
I do this too as well now .. ever since I had a flat tyre I constantly check my tyres! Since being aware that the tyres represent moving forward in life though I am also looking at where I am not moving forward in my life.
What a great practical tip!
Now I drive quite a distance everyday this is something I have become much more aware of, as you say you can actually feel the aggression, rush, disregard on the roads and it feels awful. We all have a responsibility here as to how we are and how we choose to drive. As you say it’s not just about those in cars but houses, people, and villages we drive past and through also.
As you say Gyl, you can feel the aggression but if you can try to just remain an observer and sort of stay on the outside of it, it can have the most amazing calming effect.
Absolutely right Jonathan, drivers around me may want to drive aggressively or too fast, but I can choose to be serene in my driving and not allow other drivers to intimidate me into taking any other course of action, other than to take my time, and be super gentle behind the wheel. It feels lovely to be in the flow whilst driving when I am with myself. After all, driving faster or aggressively doesn’t get anyone there any quicker… like the hare and the tortoise, slow and steady wins the race (not that it’s a race of course…!)
It amuses me how often when another driver has pushed past me, often by breaking a speed limit or crossing a double yellow line, I catch up with them as they are held up further down the road.
It’s great to be reminded how easy it is to distract oneself or someone else in a car. Conversations can be very distracting, if they become confrontational or heated. So really it is about being aware of the impact when getting into deep conversation whislt driving.
I love the conversation this blog has started!
Having been someone who has always arrived places just on time, because I don’t like waiting – or more truthfully, I am uncomfortable feeling the nervous energy I go into by habit, operating in an unstructured way with my time and so running late with tasks and trying to fit too much in before I have to leave the house. Inevitably then, the road presents obstacles – one red light after another, roadworks, railway crossings, traffic jams – and I arrive late at my destination, having lost my connection to myself well and truly. Then, of course, the meeting or appointment does not flow because I have not brought me to it.
So now I plan my time in my day, paying close attention to it rather than ignoring it and hoping it will go away! I plan to arrive 15 minutes (at least) early wherever I go and it really is like magic – the road opens up with green lights, empty spaces and sunshine. I am still working on the urge to fidget, or snack whilst driving or fiddle with my phone and clear my icons from the screen; I’m not sure why it has to be done right now? Driving is a wonderful place to practice being present in my body and remaining alert to whatever is needed and resisting the urge to check out.
I agree Emma – I love how when I leave plenty of time to get to work or somewhere, like magic, everything opens up for me yet when I leave things to the last minute it is as if everything is against me. It is the worlds way of showing me when I am out of sync. Something I love to use as a marker and a reminder to bring myself back into sync.
I love the planning space I can put into my days so as to leave plenty of time and avoid the awful nervous tension I used to live in from cramming too much into not enough time. Like you say James, things open up in front of you. It reminds me of Moses parting the water as I see my space in the traffic open before me and I flow through a run of green lights.
Creating space feels like “Moses parting the water” is a great analogy Gwen. It is amazing when I work like this things just seem to get done whereas when I dither and dally with should I, or shouldn’t I, what would be best etc.. they take so much longer and I usually always end up doing the same thing – just this time less time to do other things.
Wonderful expressed Jamesnicholson27. In the past I packed too many activities into my day and there was no space any more – that felt terrible. I discover more and more the power and grace of space – when I fall into space, everything is flowing and magic can happen.
It’s amazing how everything opens up like magic when we leave plenty of time to get somewhere. Thank you emmadanchen for your comment and the replies by, jamesnicholson27, Gwen Stygerand, and from alexander1207 regarding the grace of space (just what I needed to be reminded of today) –
“I discover more and more the power and grace of space – when I fall into space, everything is flowing and magic can happen”.
This sounds like a great technique Emma. It’s a bit like public transport timetables which have ‘slack’ built-in, which is why trains sometimes wait at intermediate stops so that they can depart on-time. There’s so much potential for getting us ‘stressed’ out there as it is, without adding to it by cutting the journey time to the bone.
I like the concept of building in stops at intermediate stations during our day, like a public transport timetable, where at best we get to pause, come back and reflect, and allow our day to catch up with us, and our ready and preparedness, and at worse through the grace of the built in slack, we find ourselves running to the correct timetable of our day, not behind it.
Your comment made me smile Emma, it’s so true! I have experienced times when I am so with me that everything flows with ease and then I wonder why it doesn’t happen like this when I am out of sync with myself! It’s wonderful though, having the awareness to stop myself when I feel the momentum taking over and to then S-L-O-W down. I love driving and find it a good way to be present with myself, I especially felt this when I learned to ride a motorbike, being present was an absolute must as checking out on a motorbike WAS NOT an option, I didn’t really fancy falling off! I don’t ride a bike now but it taught me to be more aware of my surroundings and staying present while driving. As for snacking while driving, the more I am with me the less I feel the need to snack, and I have just realised that if I am late, or rushing and feel frustrated, I feel the need to snack and if I am with me and take my time the need for snacking isn’t there – work in progress……
Interesting point you raise: snacking whilst driving. I do it sometimes. Next time I will first feel into it -why do I want to snack? Often it is because I am not deeply connected to me, but just moving my body from A to B. Great to pay attention to next time I drive or any other activity.
That’s really interesting regarding the motor bike Sandra. I’ve recently gone back to two wheels for certain journeys and it’s quite a revelation after 35 years or so! You are suddenly SO in touch with everything around you! My first instinct was to continually look over my shoulder, but I’ve grown to ‘trust’ my mirrors now. I also feel far more exposed and naked than when in a car. As you say, checking-out is not an option!
I love this comment, Emma – I have a need to eat, fidget, talk to someone or do anything it would seem – except be present and focus on the road! I am going to practice some conscious presence while driving, thanks Jonathan and Emma for the inspo!
Yes I agree Emma. Whenever I am ‘running late’ I seem to come up against all sorts of impediments. Plan ahead and strangely enough the way opens up before me and I end up arriving even earlier! At least this way I am arriving with more of me rather than anxious and stressed.
I’ve experienced the exact same thing when going somewhere I need to be. Previously I would allow just enough time and go into that pushing energy to get to where I need to be and completely anxious that I will get there on time as I hate being late. To change that and give more space and prepare for wherever you are going to and travel in this manner feels so much more loving and kinder on the body. Then it is a pleasure to go where I am going and I actually have space and time to enjoy whatever is around me.
I have found this too Kate, rather than get caught up in the constraints of time, planning ahead and being prepared brings a whole different quality and allows for a flow to the journey.
I laughed to myself as I read how you are not so chatty behind the wheel now, as I too can’t multi-task behind the wheel anymore, talk, navigate have music on, forget it.
I agree Jenny – multi tasking does not work for me in the car now – it just changes my driving to slightly erratic! The greatest ‘music’ and harmony I enjoy now is conscious presence with myself.
Great reminder – the words “insulated ” + ” not present” they so apply to the way I have lived much of my life.
Let us all join your “more considerate” behaviour at the wheel Jonathon and hope it goes ‘viral’.
A great reminder to be more present while driving
There was a time when I would travel from A to B and not remember a thing along the way – scary. I now realize that I was not staying present in my body but home checking on children, organizing activities and going through my to do list. This changed nothing but left me exhausted from being in two places at once. Thankfully for myself and others this has changed and I now bring not only more presence to where and what I am doing but much love in every conscious movement I make.
I notice that it is me who chooses whether or not I get affected by the rage on the roads. Where I live, the traffic situation is fairly consistent so any change to how I am feeling inside the safety and protection of my car has to do with how it is that I am feeling. I notice if I am open and understanding with myself, then either I don’t see anyone else driving like a crazy person, or I can just watch the crazy antics and be okay with it and don’t get upset by it. Your blog Jonathan certainly is food for thought.
So much to ponder in here I loved it – i have never thought about cars in this way yet it so true.
Reading this article and comments has given me the opportunity to feel more deeply that we are always connected to one another especially when we are in our cars and that it is our responsibility in how we choose to drive our car and how that has an impact on another whether it is good or bad. Thank you Jonathan and to all the comments.
I have always found to be present while driving, especially on long journeys, challenging. Although I prepare myself before I set off, check in with how my body feels, especially my legs and neck, make stops if it is a long journey, I still find myself drifting off at times on the journey! Having said that I have come a long way from the rushing to get from a to b.
If only I had read your blog Jonathan before I decided to hoon past a speed camera unaware the 100 zone had turned into 50. Oops indeed. Many dollars spent in law fees and a mandatory road safety driving course instructed by the judge. That evening I learned that all those vague out moments come at a price, even if it is not as directly obvious as an accident, fine, or road rage. I also learned blaming circumstances was going to get me no where either. Essentially it came down to my choice to not notice the camera, and my responsibility to stay present, which would have ensured I was reading the signs all the way home.
In reflection the day I got flashed by a speed camera was actually a blessing when I consider how it actually stopped me and asked me to re-assess how I was driving through life it seemed. It asked me to read the signs all the time in every part of my life. Where was I vaguing out on what was going on around me, or how I was feeing moment to moment? The time on ‘good behaviour’ has stayed with me years later, in the sense of being aware to stay consciously present and with myself and everyone else on the road. I certainly notice now when I do, or want to space out for moments quicker. Sitting in the car can be a real time to feel how settled and present we really are, and also a great opportunity to perhaps consider why we are not? Thank-you for this blog Jonathan, driving is so reflective of how we are in life, I am actually looking forward to driving to work this morning after reading it.
‘Vague out’ moments. Brilliant, Emilia. I used to think of these as day dreaming and a natural human attribute. I now know them to be gaps in my awareness, irresponsible episodes when I am not engaged with life. Little wake up calls these days that say why I am choosing not to be fully present and in this moment. Thank you.
Thank you Emilia. Rather like you, I have fewer ‘Vague out’ moments now after my speeding fine brought me back to reality.
So in truth we can come to accept that we are never alone. This is the joy of responsibility, alongside knowing we are always supported.
Great reminder Matilda. We can get so wrapped up in our own little world that we forget that we are never alone and always supported Thank you.
I can relate to what you say Jonathon. Mostly, though I experience problems ‘out there’ because I’m not with myself and the hooting horn brings me back. I love it when I meet generous and welcoming drivers, and they are there, even in London. They are the ones who let you in when waiting to join a main road from a side road, I usually flash them a thank you. When I do the same for others, they flash me back in appreciation. Some even flash you to warn you of traffic police lurking in the bushes. What I have found is that there a certain parts of London where drivers are more unpredictable and when driving in those areas I know I have to be ready and present.
“I say ‘fortunate’, because now I make sure that I am consciously present when driving.” I love how you could realise it to be a stop point of then looking at how you are driving. It would be amazing if people could recognise that instead of going into a ‘road rage’
I love this article and all the comments, thank you everyone. What a great reflection of life we get when we are driving and I love the opportunities it gives us to check in with ourselves
I love reading your blog Jonathan. It’s a great reminder to continually check in with how present I am when driving. It can be tempting to slip in to ‘bubble mentality’ – not about road rage for me much more about multi tasking!
I love cars and love driving. There is little better then jumping in your car and driving down the road. I have loved driving from a very early age and my Dad bought me my first car when I was 12. I drove it in the paddock and in those early days I learnt so much about driving and how it felt. When you get in your car next have a look around you, how have you left the car? Is it clean and full of fuel ready for the day? or have you left it dirty from days past and empty. A car and driving can tell you so much about how you are living, a moving reflection.
Great point Raymond. Our cars are a great reflection of how we are living.
I do quiet a bit of driving and have found that as long as I am present in my body the whole experience becomes quiet pleasant almost like a ritual that I look forward to everyday.
Thank you for your blog, Jonathan. I used to be guilty of ‘road rage’ and have been working on it for some time. It took me a long time to become aware just how badly it was affecting me. I was amazed when I finally realised the state of tension into which I was putting my body. As with many issues it is strongly related to ‘conscious presence’ which I have to work on all the time. I must read your article again.
Johnathon, when driving and just letting someone in,
This can have such a beautiful effect on your day.
Such a simple act, that feels so lovely.
I have found if I let someone in ,
A bit further along the way something lovely will
happen, like a butterfly will fly past.
I have another phenomenon with driving. Why oh why is it that you can be stuck in traffic on a motorway or road for ages, starting and stopping, but when you finally are able to drive normally, at the normal speed, there is absolutely no reason whatsoever as to why everyone was stuck in the first place because the road is completely clear!
Apart from when you are on the A303 and the reason the traffic is so slow is because all the drivers are looking at Stone Henge … or so it seems! Either that or the pigs!
This is something which I have observed too – often when there is this kind of hold up I have seen huge spaces in-between cars as the drivers appear to take it as a signal it is ok to be busy looking down at their phones or ‘zoning out’ singing loudly to themselves in their ‘bubble’ rather than having awareness of driving conditions or a delay they may also be causing. Perhaps whole driving lessons devoted solely to awareness and conscious presence on the road and in life would be beneficial to all.
This makes me laugh Vicky because it’s so true! Clearly there are times when two lanes become one and hey presto you have what the French call a ‘Bouchon’, or in English
a ‘Cork’.
: ) there were plenty of bouchon’s and corks yesterday! …. and obviously no frustration whatsoever! : )
I know Vicky, its so strange – I do wonder was it some accident that went by as for some reason many of us are so fixated by an accident on the other side of the motorway. It’s in these time – traffic times – when I tend to check out or loose my concentration most.
“The motor car is certainly one area where each of us, confined to a bubble of isolation, can, if not checked, let arrogance reign supreme.” So true. I have witnessed others – and myself in the past – playing out this behaviour. None of us are isolated on the road be it driver, cyclist or pedestrian. This applies to life also. However we act (react) affects others in some way.
A great article – I never looked at in the way this has been presented.
Since attending Universal Medicine the way I drive a car is completely changed. I now focus and drive with consciousness presence where all my movements are devoted to how present in my body I can be while driving my car.
Driving now is a time I re-consolidate and take that moment and space to relax myself by remaining present – the game is how present can I be in my body and how comfortable can I be while functioning my car. From touching the steering wheel, to adjusting my rear-view mirror, to feeling my feet on the floor. Movement with presence to rid those old behaviours of driving carelessly thinking about stuff that was not related to my driving. All I have to do is drive the car and no other thoughts are necessary.
Yes, a really refreshing way to look at how we are when we are driving, providing an opportunity in our every day to reflect on, consider and refine our relationship with life and humanity. Super simple and super transformative when we allow ourselves to consider the big picture
I also find driving the perfect opportunity to practise being very present with myself. A time to notice where I might bring tension into my body or go off on fanciful distractions in my mind.
I love re-reading this blog and all its comments, a constant reminder of bringing conscious presence to every action, not only in the car but in daily life. I love how this blog highlights how bringing more presence is a true key to feeling so much more from the’ inside out’ and the sense of being ‘at one’ and connected with everything in every moment.
However hard we try to remain separate and individual (in the car especially), it is actually impossible, everything is inter-connected -harmoniously so – when we choose to simply be present. Thank you Jonathan and all the writers of the comments for the shared stories, playfulness, the wisdom, expansion and evolution these continue to bring.
Thank you Stephanie for continuing, by your contributions, to make this a living, breathing, conversational blog!
Yes indeed Jonathan – all the blogs the Universal Medicine student body are contributing to are bringing beautiful, clear and profound depth to “living, breathing, conversational blog(s)”. A true inspiration for anyone wanting to know there is another way to live and express.
More blogs Jonathan – you write with a great clarity and humour for all to enjoy.
This is a great awareness Jonathan and a very safe way to travel… with presence! What you have uncovered here is so very true and something I’m sure many drivers can relate to. Interesting your point about danger and not connecting to the outside world; for me, I can be quite distracted and unserious when driving like I am watching TV or something, which has led me to many ‘close calls’ in the past. It feels wonderful and very confirming to use the motion of driving to connect and be present with myself. Like Alison Greig has taught me; feel how my hands are on the wheel, how am I shifting gears and making consistent checks in my mirrors. Simple ways of bringing back presence to driving.
Thank you Rachael, I think that there are definitely fewer nasty shocks when you adopt this approach.
This blog could be applied to every day life. Most of us live in a fairly blinkered way perhaps not fully aware that all of our little choices do effect everyone else. And that creature comforts or money or power or fame can maybe make us think we are living in our own bubbles but the reality is we are all connected always.
“I can recall being with the most mild-mannered people who, after a few minutes behind the wheel, became judgemental and expressed regular disapproval of their fellow road-users, becoming quite worked-up in the process.”
As a bus driver and a passenger, I see this quite often. The person who wouldn’t normally say ‘boo to a goose’ becomes very aggressive and uses words they have never used before in public, their faces get screwed up in anger and they want to fight everyone. Although we all make the occasional mistake, there is no tolerance for anyone else to make a mistake.
Thank you Tim, your comment here is hugely valuable and highly relevant given your profession. Seeing that we all make errors of judgement, myself included, I feel that we should all be a lot more forgiving when driving.
I find it is so easy to just go into automatic when driving and allow my mind to wander, I just need to feel my body and be conscious with all that is going on around me , a much safer way to travel . Thank you Jonathan
Rushing, being busy, thinking about what I will do, it all has a huge effect of how I am in my car. These things will bring in a push, a drive that makes me go faster than I want to drive and less (or not) connected to myself and certainly not to others on the road. I agree a car can give us a false idea of being on our own, without affecting everybody, just as I can experience about being in my body: that is mine and what I do with it doesn’t influence others. But it does! We are all connected to each other, always. The being alone is an illusion.
Totally agree Monika,
I find being in my rhythm and in conscious presence makes all the difference to my driving, but it has to start way before I get into my car. If I wake up consciously present and in rhythm my morning will run smoothly and everything will flow, and so will my drive to work, but on the other hand if for some reason I get out of sync with myself and rush out the door feeling behind time and running late my journey can be quite different. I will drive much faster, take risks and become annoyed by other drivers I feel are holding me up. Thankfully with an ever deepening connection to myself and my rhythms these rushed and uncomfortable trips to work are few and far between these days!!
Thank you Rosemary, your comment feels like a wonderful progression!
Really gorgeous and inspiring Rosemary. The quality of how we wake and prepare for our day really sets a motion for our next moments.
Well written Jonathan . The cocooning of the individual in the motor vehicle does lead to disconnection usually from oneself, and definitely from humanity. With disconnection comes a lack of responsibility, with irresponsibility comes the forgetting of the consequences of our actions, and as a consequence of all of this we have , in the world of motor vehicles, a microcosm of where the world is in relation to humanity coming together as one, and that is, one big traffic jam where the motors are all running, an enormous amount of energy is being expended, and no one is going anywhere.
Many thanks Cjames for your beautifully concise summary.
It is extraordinary is it not, that possibly one of the largest group activities that we take part in, i.e. driving, is sold to us by trying to appeal to our notions of individuality!
Thank you so much Jonathan for starting this conversation. The article and ensuing comments are just awesome.
Thank you for your comment Elaine. The blog seems to have changed gear a few times and now it seems to be in overdrive
and heading for the open road!
It is so true we are always connected, even when driving!
Ha ha : )
Very funny exposé of car-advertisement tactics, Jonathan. ‘…How this can be applied to someone driving down Clapham High Road…is difficult to grasp.’ Haha
I have just enjoyed the experience of driving an unfamiliar car – it was lovely just to sit and feel my presence in the car and familiarise myself with the layout of controls before driving away. Immediately there was a sense of just being ‘at one’ with this car and driving was simple and effortless with nothing feeling strange or awkward. This really brought home to me that first and foremost, in any situation, the relationship with myself in presence is key – the harmony and flow then present is simply divine.
A glorious sensation Stephanie, when the car is an extension of oneself and is connected-in to all the senses.
Any notion that at any time we are not all in this together is one of the greatest mistakes we continue to make as humans. Just as a few examples; in our cars, at home, at work, our choices impact on everyone whether it is adding to aggression on the road, complacency about our responsibilities at home, or contributing to a ‘dog eat dog’ approach to work. Just as the opposite can be true: awareness of and respect for other road users, realising our approach to life needs to be collaborative and respectful and choosing to take the competition out of the workplace, working in support of the team, the whole, instead. It is a myth that we are ever in isolation of one another – our behaviour in our cars is a great opportunity to reflect on where we are at with this.
Exquisitely expressed Matilda, as ever! You have removed the ‘cones’ and now we are on broad and freshly widened tarmac, with the whole blog climbing towards the enlightened higher ground!
Great comment Matilda. This takes driving to a whole new level of awareness for many of us. Thank you.
Behind the wheel, in our own car isn’t a licence to rule the road. How important it is to stay connected with all around us, and move in a way that creates harmony and not tension.
I have to say that every time I get into my car to drive or any journey in my car there is a greater level of awareness and alertness. Just by reading the article and reading the comments and commenting has turned up the awareness 10 fold. I’m noticing myself and other drivers and seem to be able to read and feel what is happening around me. It’s quite lovely and didn’t realise that there would be such a gear shift in my level of awareness.
Thank you Matthew, it’s great to read that a blog plus comments can bring about change in such a positive way!
I’m on the road driving a lot for work, and I’ve found if I’m not consciously present, to the best of my ability then I instantly get tired. I’ve also found with conscious presence I enjoy driving so much more!
Recently I was in my car at a set of lights and a person threw a lit cigarette out of the window in front of me. For a split second there was the potential to judge the action and the person, like a switch I could either criticise or remain observing, but I instead connected to his being. There was a loveliness about him, really beautiful in spite of the action of throwing the cigarette, then accelerating aggressively away from the lights and swerving lanes. It seemed insignificant and for him just a result of choices possibly away from his own connection. We can so easily sit behind the wheel of our own car bubble and judge what is right and wrong before realising we are all walking the same path.
I can relate to this experience and admit to running with the judgement of people’s choices over connecting to equalness and simply observing the behaviour as a protection or remedy to their hurts. Very cool Matthew, thanks 🙂
Mathew that is a great way to look at things and it would certainly change all the road rage that fills our daily commutes.
What a wonderful blog. You describe me in traffic! I slip into an arrogance, as soon as I step into a car. It is indeed what you describe, as if I step into my own world and people should get out of my way. At one point I realized there was a little war going on between me & my armed vessel and the rest of the world. Since then I have, just like you, started to observe myself and how present I was. Conclusion, it is all about presence from the moment I get into my car. Even before that: how did I get into my car, whether it is in a hurry (no presence to start with) or fully with me. Driving a car now is a big practice of presence.
Brilliant observation, Jonathan. What you say about the car industry and its advertisement making it all about being free and alone on the road – I just imagine a spirit looking on a physical body (a vehicle of expression), wanting to get a taste and have a wild ride, as if there’s no one else (contra to brotherhood). Funny.
Great analogy Fumiyo – ….” a spirit looking on a physical body (a vehicle of expression), wanting to get a taste and have a wild ride, as if there’s no one else (contra to brotherhood). Funny.”
Recently I have chosen to be much more understanding of others when I’m driving and this simple choice has taken much of the tension out of driving for me and that’s one less stressed out person on the roads! I’ve realised that choosing not to react to something is no different when I’m in a car to when I’m not in a car. As I am writing this I can feel how my car is just an extension of me. It’s like me with a bigger body.
Jonathan, I was feeling to comment that you are a very brave man driving in France (having visited there on holidays). But also to comment how driving is now a way to be aware of my body as I focus on the journey. How are my legs, are they in an easy position, are my fingers on the steering wheel but not gripping with white knuckles, what is my posture like etc etc. Takes driving to a new level of enjoyment. Thank you for sharing.
Love your blog Jonathan. In the past I found driving “a means to an end ” without reflecting greatly on my reactions to the task at hand. Lately, after becoming more aware of times I am frustrated, irritated or angry, and how awful this feels inside, I decided it was time for a change! With more awareness and conscious presence, I am now enjoying driving.
I just re-read your blog Jonathan. I recall the way I used to drive when I first got my licence, aged 17. A timid, compliant person in life, the car became my excuse to transform into übermaniac – it became my vehicle for outrageous expression. Now I wasn’t a completely belligerent driver, but I did drive like a crazy person, too fast, with far too many lane changes, “carving up the road” giving vent to all of the suppressed emotions that come with being terminally nice everywhere else.
So different now but I am appreciating as I type this there remains an urge to be a little checked out evidenced through fiddling with the phone – just have to check those messages.
Love it Jonathan. More blogs please.
Hi Rachel, it seems like we use the car at times to get our freeky-ness ventilated. Perhaps the road’s not the best place to vent this on…
Thank you Rachel! I think it’s probably pretty fair to say that most of us when young have driven rather insanely. The combination of that sense of youthful invulnerability plus the maelstrom of hormone/testosterone based emotions seems to find outlet in our driving. As we get older, experience, (sometimes painful and often expensive), teaches us to drive slightly less flamboyantly.
Thank you Jane, but I think it’s really the comments that make the blog so interesting in my opinion.
The comments are great Jonathon, built on a foundation that you laid down.
So thanks again to you.
Hi Jonathan, I like your blog and we have it in germany, too. For me it was a challenge after getting caught by a radar and near to a driving prohibition. Since then my driving behaviors changed more and more, also added more of my responsibility. Now, if there are people standing beside the road, I drive in a way that I want to get passed by a vehicle, if I would be nearby. And always look in their eyes to get in contact.
That’s great to read Ingo ! There are times when drivers seem to forget that they too are pedestrians from time to time.
Recently I observed two men fighting and shouting with each other on the street in front of their cars. The whole traffic got stuck. One person tried to mediate between them, but no chance – they just were against each other. They both did not look as if physical aggression is something they are used to do – but whatever happened, the fight had a big influence on all people around, those involved in the traffic but also passengers. And one could also see what the aggression did to the men itself. It was shocking and very harming. Almost not to believe.
What this case showed to me, is what truly happens in cars, when we get angry and curse – we fight each other and harm also other not directly involved people – just by words and gestures. Without considering that this may have a deeper impact on them.
Thank you Sonja, for raising a very interesting point. Witnessing a fight is not a pleasant sight, but it’s sometimes hard to look away as I think we recognise certain things about ourselves. As the tension escalates, neither side seems able to back down as each digs his/her heals in. The stakes become raised for each side and the two combatants seem set on a path of total annihilation. I’m sure wars must start like this! I find that one of the scariest aspects of it, is that these fighters seem to have lost control of themselves, and have succumbed totally to the energy of aggression.
Great observation Johnathon, I have also noticed some people have such a dramatic change in behaviour, its like Jekyll and Hyde. I feel you’re on to something there with people falling for the advertising illusion of individual ownership of the road. Also the car is a comfortable bubble where you are insulated from face to face contact so you don’t see the impact of your gestures on other people. I agree there is a lot you can do in the way that you drive that is considerate and respectful of others.
A wonderful observation, Bernard. A car can be a bubble, a seemingly secure one, even through the highly protected driver cell or the many bumpers all around it. I have never noticed, that cars are shown standing alone on roads.
Left to my own devices in a car I can also find, quite suddenly, that I am reduced to levels of frustration and anger that were not present even half a minute beforehand. The isolation of driving alone is an attractive invitation for conscious presence to take a break! Unless of course I consciously don’t slip into the void….
Every red light is an invitation, not an irritation!
For me, red traffic lights are a beautiful message and reminder of the glorious fiery energy always available and an opportunity to stop, feel and enjoy in that moment! An invitation just to be.
That’s a good one Matilda – Stop, Breathe… Can also be used in the supermarket queue 🙂
More red lights in every aspect of life please!
Love that one Matilda. I am going to take it into my week and develop a new relationship with traffic lights!
So true Matilda. I have now come to enjoy the invitation that the red light offers me; an opportunity to stop, check in with me and to even take a few gentle breaths. Gone are the days of red light irritation; in fact sometimes I would like the stop to be even longer!
If that is so Matilda, I am asking myself how many invitations did I actually rejected and where would I be now if I would have taken them… seems to me I rejected a lot of invitations in my life – not just red lights – and so: where could I be now if… wow
I love to read the level of details you address in your comment Jane. When we really observe, there is much to discover and to enjoy instead of reacting to whatever is in front of us. Your last sentence sums it up “everything in life has a reflection.”.
I’ve noticed that even when I am present and relaxed behind the wheel, I can still come up against every red light or a multitude of events that hinder my journey. It’s like I’m not being presented with something to alter my current state of being but it is another level of awareness or preparation that is on offer within my day or week. Being completely ok with every red light, stopping and starting the car and changing gears, being diverted around road works or being behind a bus that takes up the whole road. Life does present adversity and events that side swipes us and test our limits. I’ve seen and I’m sure we all have seen the flip out that can occur when the car journey almost seems to be a conspiracy against the driver. So, with how much adversity can we remain present and not take on, to the best of our abilities.
Thank you Matthew. That’s interesting what you say about red lights. Of course, if you Let it be an obstacle to your progress, it will Be an obstacle. If you simply regard it as a prelude to Green then it ceases to be a problem. Approaching a Green light has potentially greater obstacle value because you’re trying to get past it before it changes to Red! If we are truly present, then we just accept that what is,….. is. That way the journey isn’t so ‘spikey’ as when our emotions kick in and out.
It’s so funny that when I do feel myself at the receiving end of ‘the world is against me’ I have to stop (not literally as that could cause an accident!) and come back to me because I know I’m going down ‘me versus the world’ street which is not a place I want to be.
What if these red lights are actually really helpful pauses for me to come back to myself so I can wait for the green light to proceed in a more considerate way for all those around me. I know frustration at not being somewhere instantly and driving hours to go a few miles in London traffic is actually just what the doctor ordered. My frustration shows me I still need to work on acceptance that I am where I’m at and at the pace that I’m going at and to stay present with this.
I agree Jonathan, and I also find now, with that much increased presence while driving, the feeling of having to ‘rush’ is mostly gone. And when someone is driving rather slow in front or the lights change to red just as I get there, or something else to slow me down – I just take it as signs that I am meant to slow down, connect more and breathe, and all is well and the body feels well too.
Matthew, I love what you write about ‘a conspiracy against the driver’. This is so true, many people drive like the other cars, traffic etc are out to get them and they take it very personally.
And I have also noticed the polite, mild mannered person, friend or colleague turn into a raging maniac in the car. Funny that this phenomena inhabits the world over.
So true. Its a shame that we have the dubious honour of something that connects us all as people is the maniac behind the wheel.
I can really relate Rebecca to entering into very personal exchanges with others in cars who I think are on my case. When I take in the bigger picture, it always inevitably leads back to some issues of anger, frustration or hurt I have not dealt with.
Unfortunately Rebecca, this phenomena you speak of seems to be coming more and more common too. When we live our days in the ‘bubble of isolation’ that Jonathon speaks of it is easy to feel disconnected to others and see life only from your perception, not the whole, this is what happens.
Being present and working with being present while driving and being in the car (including the way I get into the car, adjust my belt, hold the steering wheel etc), I have found is a great tool and activity to support me being more present in my day- the day/activities I am driving to have. I actually enjoy driving when present, I notice so much on the road and have very little reactions. I see stopping as a greater opportunity to deepen the connection with my body by wiggling my toes, or replacing my hands or feeling my posture or breath in my body.
Such a great point Johanna I find if I’m being present from the point of getting into my car, making adjustments for my comfort before I switch the engine on my journey ahead of me is a much smoother ride and a great indicator for the rest of my day.
Being present in my car is something I can play with more, thanks for the inspiration Johanna!
Agree Matthew. And I can see that my fighting against red lights and other traffic regulations is reflecting me how much I still not accept to be a part of a big community (called humanity). It is not all about Me ME ME – I am apart of a group (community/Humanity) and in traffic I have to face this. All my issues like blaming others for my inconveniences are popped up …. So thank God for traffic – it’s a chance to learn how to be a part of a group and with that my chance for never feeling alone again. It is my chance for discover and support Harmony.
It is definitely a good reminder to be in conscious presence when driving, feeling the flow of the journey and drive. With conscious presence the journey is smoother and you find the roads more clear. The whole car feels different and more alive, this is my experience.
Thank you Amita, when the journey is as you describe, it can be quite beautiful, with the traffic having the grace of a shoal of fish or a flock of birds.
Good Reminder to drive present, taking enough time
and feel the body whilst driving. It´s a good training!
I observed that when I am ” in my flow ” , the traffic often flows more harmonious !
Awesome observation Jonathon! I am one of those angsty drivers. I like to have a smooth run (as in NO red lights) and glide my way between lanes always getting behind the faster car and where possible will ALWAYS be the first cab off the ranks at the lights. More recently my demerit points have caught up with me…I knew it was coming. I’m waiting for the letter to tell me I’ve lost my license. This is a HUGE wake up call. For now, I do my best to be more present on the road, but more than anything my challenge is timing. Allowing an extra 5-10minutes to get somewhere so I am not feeling the pressure to beat the lights and make it on time. It’s such a marker for the level of anxiety that must be running my body that has me want to always be so zippy on the road, like it was some sort of game!
Thanks hugely for your honesty Elodie! I feel that we have all probably ‘been there’. It is not easy to leave the emotion parked in neutral, however the rewards out there for holding back and just observing without absorbing, make it really worth while.
When i read this, i felt WOW now this is something not talked about enough….so nailed, it’s like we’re in another world completely disconnected from the outside world…its also like a given right to dump all our internal unexpressed emotions onto others when in a car!!! Even i have had moments like that…mmmm….presence is the key….
Wonderful observation Jonathan and great title.
Sometimes I have caught myself driving and having to remind myself just where I am heading. Driving can become automatic especially if its a road or roads we travel often and the mind can wander in all directions until I realise I have travelled a way and don’t remember how I got there, usually not too far thank goodness! I do try to be understanding when I am driving and remind myself that we all make silly mistakes, hold off the horn, give way to someone who didn’t give way to me and should have etc. It is much better to arrive at you destination feeling calm and unruffled than hot and bothered and emotional. Thank you for some timely reminders Johnathan.
Thank you Roslyn, I’m sure everybody has days when their drive seems to be like crossing a battlefield just to get from A to B, but just clearing the decks of distractions at least gives one a fighting chance of arriving calmly and in an unruffled state.
Jonathan I’ve returned to your blog after an experience yesterday that allowed me to trace the origins of being impatient and ‘not being present’ on the road. I had an appointment with a client and I really don’t like being late. But I was running a bit late and getting impatient and wishing that the driver in front of me, who was doing 20 kph below the allowable speed, would just ‘crank it up’ a bit! I began to increase awareness of how I was feeling and that I had to come back to myself and let go of impatience. After all, the car ahead was a ute full of dogs, and the driver was obviously going slow to keep the dogs safe. Around the next corner there was a herd of escaped black cows on the road and everyone had to stop while they sorted themselves out and went back to their paddock. Around the next corner was another ute loaded with surfboards going slow, evidently to avoid losing the boards. So it seems as if I were being given the firm message that impatience is not the way to go, and an opportunity to look at ‘the error of my ways’! As I slowly crawled along, late for my client, I was able to let go of the impatience, come back to myself and ponder on how I had let myself get into this state and this situation, tracing back the choices that had led to it. There was a late night as I was staying with friends in another town – I had not stuck to my rhythm because I wanted to spend time with my friends and their children; then a food choice – not bad but not ideal for my body; then rushing to catch up on some work on the computer, knowing I would not have time later, and so on and so on…. one thing leading to another, and here I was dumping my frustration and impatience on the road and all who drove upon it! It’s not the ‘one moment of frustration with someone on the road’ that is our problem – it’s ALL the choices in every moment of living that lead to how we express and what we feel, do, say, think and act.
Love this, Dianne. Most of us stay with the frustration directed at the person/situation that is making us, in this case, late for an appointment, rather than considering and taking responsibility for all the choices we have made that have led us to that moment. This brings such a clarity and linked-upness to my relationship with life. If at any moment I am prepared to slip into blaming another I know there is something I am avoiding taking responsibility for. This is an opportunity on offer.
Thank you for reminding me that there is so much to learn from any given situation when we just pay attention and choose to be present.
Such an awesome reminder to take full responsibility for our choices and bring this to all areas of our lives. It seems driving and being in that bubble makes us think we can ‘hide’ and not bring the same commitment to presence and stillness we can bring to other areas.
Thank you hugely Dianne for this lovely example, it reads just like a novel or a film. Several curved balls being bowled at you at the same time! The only thing missing is a little old lady with a zimmer frame, trying to cross the road, while the cows are being rounded up.
Jonathan, there were times in the past, before I met Serge Benhayon, when that metaphorical ‘little old lady’ would have been there with a dozen of her friends on crutches and their pets and grandkids, to tell me to return to myself, and I wouldn’t have gotten the message because I wasn’t listening!
This is so beautiful Dianne – as unwelcome as it may appear sometimes, there is such a learning from every situation that presents itself for us to see a reflection of ourselves – whether exposing our ill-choices or confirming our loving choices.
Thank you for this great article to have the opportunity to reflect on how much I love driving and how important it has been to me over the years. I have always loved driving. I grew up in the UK, and spent the majority of that time driving down those narrow, windy, high hedged roads. You had to be so aware of the fact that another vehicle could be coming around the corner and it made me very aware of my own driving and the presence of others on the road. But my vehicle always felt like an extension of my own body and I would guide it with great precision and great awareness; we were a team and great mates. But sometimes I absolutely can lose that and be in a ‘rush’ to get there but it is always tinged with a little disappointment at the arrival that I hadn’t paid full attention to my journey, observed what was along the way but mainly that I hadn’t had that close connection and relationship with being with my car, like not paying attention to a friend over a cup of tea. There is indeed great responsibility required when we drive but it can provide such a great opportunity to be so connected to life in full and in relationship with all around us. This is a beautiful article.
Thank you Gina, I really love the idea of the vehicle as an extension of the body! I share your sense of disappointment
when I feel I have let down or neglected this relationship in some way. It’s the same feeling as ‘letting yourself down’.
I find it is all too easy to disconnect from the fact that other cars on the road contain human beings, remembering this and being allowing for what may well be going on with another person makes the experience of driving completely different. It is no longer just a lump of metal on wheels that is out there on the road but a vast array of humanity, worthy of my attention and deepest respect and care.
I am usually continually distracted when I drive. I know it is an incredible marker of how present I am. Do I check my phone at the lights? for what? no reason, just that I can’t sit with myself for longer than 30 seconds without a distraction. It can be incredibly exposing. I use this now, can I stay with myself for the drive to my destination, same days yes, other days no. Driving is an incredible marker for determining our conscious presence.
Yes I can relate to that Raegan. I see so may times other drivers fiddle around in the glove compartment while driving or even more insane, read a newspaper when the traffic is slow.
I also sometimes forget that I am in a car, instead of in my office – talking about conscious presence…
Thanks Johnathan, I really appreciated your insights and observations into our vehicles and the way we choose to be in them. I know I have to really choose to be present with myself when driving as it is so easy to go off thinking about others things as a form of distraction. I am more aware of myself when driving these days in the small details such as how my posture is, how I’m handling the wheel, my speed, the way I turn or indicate, there is a flow and I feel my vehicle is simply an extension of my body.
A great blog Jonathan. I loved reading ‘Wind in the Willows’ as a young child and again as a young adult. And certainly nobody wants to turn into Toad behind the wheel. This is a timely reminder – less conversation and more conscious presence while driving – thank you. Multitasking is certainly something that can work well in other areas but not while driving.
Thank you Francesca, I suppose you could say that the act of driving is in itself multi-tasking. We physically operate the car via hands and feet at the same time our eyes and ears are engaged as our radar and our brain is navigating us via our stored mental maps, or GPS if you prefer. If we choose to add any extraneous activity on top of this, I think that something has to give!
I too relate to using driving in the past as an opportunity to dump some of my frustration and anger on others. I did not realise initially that the ‘dynamics’ I would get engaged in, especially with inconsiderate truck drivers were merely an example of my undealt with rage and frustration issues with others who I perceive are bigger or have more power than I. So driving now like every other part of my life allows me the opportunity to develop presence and deal with my issues
Thank you Jonathan, this really reminded me about my responsibility when driving and how ‘multi-tasking’ while doing so really isn’t responsible, even if it is ‘totally do-able’. An inspiration to be much more present, and loving on our roads – as I would be in the supermarket, on the street, or writing a comment.
Mutli tasking indeed. As I work as a carpenter my ute doubles as the office and I often make calls while driving. I can feel that even if it is totally do-able doesn’t mean I should be doing it.
Mick. I agree with you, you shouldn’t be using your mobile whilst driving. There are more major accidents and deaths with people driving whilst on their phone. How would you feel if you were the reason for an accident, because you were distracted whilst phoning.
I couldn’t agree more with you on this, I do quite a bit of driving every day as my work is 70klm from my home and over time have experienced and observed many things on the road. I hadn’t really ever thought about the disconnection with reality we experience whilst driving but it makes complete sense and it’s true we are completely isolated and insulated.
On a long drive it’s very easy to let the mind drift away but since I have been attending Universal Medicine presentations I have tried to stay present and it’s now more so my habit to check my posture and mirrors constantly and feel my feet on the pedals.
Thankyou for this interesting new awareness that I can now observe myself and others from.. 🙂
Jonathon, this is a very well written insight into what truly does go on behind the wheel. I love it, because it exposes the contradiction that when driving we must be very aware, perhaps more so than in the rest of our life, yet it can be one of the most ‘check out’ points in our day!
Thank-you Jonathan for your article and your observations on some of our collective behaviours. Ironically, as more and more people use the roads, we each need to be more aware of our ability to participate responsibility in this activity. What I observe is more drivers, and I have qualified on some ocassions, being impatient and distracted with devices. It occurs to me that the job of instructing new drivers is an incredibly important one and that perhaps conscience presence needs to be built into those courses.
I loved reading your blog Jonathan and I hate to admit that I have been a terrible driver on the road. In part because I never allowed myself enough time to actually get anywhere, I seemed to have this notion that I could teleport myself to where I needed to be next! Hence, I was trying to achieve the impossible. Once I became a passenger for my teenage boys on their ‘L’s it was payback! I got to feel how terrifying it is to be a passenger and to feel quite unsafe. I have much more awareness now and whilst I’m not quite ‘Miss Daisy’ yet, it’s a work in progress. I’ve noticed how easy it is to ‘take on’ the aggressive energy of other drivers if I’m not present.
‘I would like to imagine this behaviour spreading like a virus!’ Love it.
Great blog Jonathon, I like to think I am consciously present when I am driving but in honesty I know there are a lot of times when I am thinking about something else, and so not fully present on the road. Your blog has inspired me to be more aware of this time in my day as I spend at least 1 hour every day in my car. Thats 7 hours a week where I could be more present and loving with myself and my environment. Another area of my life I can bring more focus and love to, thank you.
Oh how perfect are those descriptions! Yes I definitely used to be one person out of the car and another inside the car. I think it is because you don’t think people can see you or hear you in your bubble. Perhaps, dare I say it … Like the dual life I was leading behind closed doors which was so different to the cool calm and collected one I had on at work way back when! Thankfully now I get not to have dual personalities. Thanks for the giggle, the reminder and the moment to appreciate the change in my behaviour!!
This blog says a lot Jonathan and gives us the reader much to ponder on.
I like your style of writing and making the point about our cars and how we behave when we drive.
I do not drive everyday and use public transport wherever possible as my first choice. However, when I do drive now, I am no longer intimidated by drivers who think that driving at 80 mph on a motorway is not fast and they tail me and flash their lights to move out. You can feel their fury and in the past I was scared and now I have learnt to move over or continue, depending on what is safe for me and other road users.
Being present and connected with myself is something I am working on developing everyday. When I am driving, this connection is maintained by me checking and feeling my fingertips and then my toes and this is a practical thing I do this consistently to help me stay in my body and not checked out or distracted.
I do this as often as I check my main mirror and side mirrors and because it is repeated so much, I have locked it into my foundation when I drive.
The biggest thing is my confidence has grown from frightened female driver to a steady solid driver. This has definitely come from the presence you talk about in this great blog. Thank You.
Thank you Bina, your comment is such a pleasure to read!
Thank you for sharing your insight about driving. I too have experienced myself change as I get behind the wheel and I have noticed this in others. As you say, it is as though we are in a bubble and disconnected from our fellow motorists. Having read your blog I am looking forward to my drive to work this morning. Thank you.
Thank you Lee, I’m also looking forward to hearing how it went! For example, is it an urban or rural commute? How far?
How long does it take? How stressful is it? I presume you’re in Australia. Please let us know.
Same here Lee, I often feel the urge and need to get there quickly regardless of the state I do that in. As if the drive is a nuisance rather than enjoying the drive and allowing myself to be connected to everything.
How true it all is, how we don’t like someone speeding past our house but are quite happy to do it past someone else’s. I have certainly been guilty of living in my own bubble pretending that I don’t affect people in the same way they affect me. There is another way to be that supports everyone.. I am determined to live that way.
Thank you Johnathan for bringing to attention the common phenomenon of checking out when driving. It is so easy to be distracted with other things and I often feel it is amazing how we manage on the roads at all with the exhaustion levels, stress, disharmony and diet choices so prevalant in the world at large.
Conscious presence is the key at all times and working on building this consistently in our lives can be the only way to safer travel, harmony and a way of living for the future.
Thank you Tricia. As you say, with the current stress, disharmony and diet choices prevalent in society today, it’s a miracle how we manage on the roads at all! Addressing these issues has to start long before the car does.
If every manufacturer of our human transportation capsules had a copy of this beautifully written article affixed to their construction manuals, (or even simply, to read at their breakfast table before setting out to work), how would we have these devices packaged? Or perhaps starting with every driving instructor across the globe, a new phenomenon could begin to emerge!
Thank you Giselle. Every journey starts with the first step yes?
How true this is, that disregard and personal supremacy take over when driving . It was only yesterday I felt this driving home, a journey that takes me 45 minutes and it was ‘easier’ to check out, disregard the road rules and sink into irresponsibility with the speed, the lack of conscious presence and the arrogance of feeling as though I didn’t even need to put the blinkers on when turning off because they, the other drivers should know and if they didn’t, too bad I would rather be comfortable in my own car and ‘hanging’ out as though I was at home veg-ing out on the couch than behind the wheel of a powerful machine that I’m sure has very high danger statistic rates for death and personal injury.
I feel it so easy to slip into this when slipping into my car. But it doesn’t have to be the case.
I would love to concentrate on the quality of my driving for the next week and commit to conscious presence behind the wheel
too feel how much the vehicle is there to truly support me and not be there for me to abuse it’s power
Thanks Jonathon.
Beautiful Natasha! I think you’ve really summed – up how easy it is to succumb to the car’s couch-like embrace and its flattering power! But as you say, we must not forget that it’s there to support you, and that’s the bottom line.
I found your blog quite deep in the message I got from it.
I could relate to being and not being in conscious presence in many aspect of my life including driving and the good and ill affects that has in my life and those around me.
Being consciously present and making that choice in all we do can make such a big difference in all we do/offer/reflect. The world would definitely be better if we chose to live with such responsibility. Guess it about choices and which one you choose to make.
As you say Pinky, it’s all about choices. In this case though, a careless or ill-considered choice can have drastic or even fatal consequences.
Thanks Jonathon, those tiny bubbles of transportation where placid people become a volcano of emotion and reaction is a great metaphor for the bubbles we wrap around ourselves in other parts of life as well.
A poignant blog Jonathan one which had me reflect on my past. A detailed review of my driving record would reveal a long history of speeding tickets not to mention a couple of accidents that could have been avoided if I was present. I’d bought into a belief that driving fast was freedom and that I should be allowed to discern when it was safe to speed or not. Hence I would curse, react and buck the system whenever I’d receive a speeding ticket. I now look back and see all those lost points and fines as blessings and little (sometimes not so little) nudges to wake up, be more responsible and consciously present when driving. Whenever I notice myself speeding these days I also immediately notice the tension I’m holding in my body which upon reflection was always there when I would speed in the past. It has now become a simple choice when I get behind the wheel… I can and arrive racy and tense or relaxed steady and present. I love driving with conscious presence and feeling the harmony that creates in my body. My whole state of being is much more ready and prepared for the meeting or wherever it is I may be going.
Thank you Rob, it’s really great to read that the awareness that you’ve developed as a result of Universal Medicine’s teachings is paying dividends on the driving front!
Johnathon your blog reminded me to take more care – especially driving past people’s homes – and I feel your good mannered driving will be viral – just your comments have me thinking about it.
A good article with some revealing points, yes we do loose our connection to the outside world when we drive. We are insulated from what we are actually doing, driving high speed along narrow roads where many other people are doing the same thing in the opposite direction, hmm one has do think there could be some danger there! The cars today are full of distractions, for example music, screens phones etc. I have been enjoying lately simply driving with no music or phone calls, simply feeling my body and driving, and what a joy it is, and I don’t get so fatigued.
Thank you Thomas, it’s those minor B-roads winding their way through gorgeous countryside that can be the most hazardous, simply because they’re two-way. High speed motorways are relatively safe with everyone going in the same direction. As you say, we can be easily distracted when we really need to be on top of what we’re doing, i.e. driving.
Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages? Great line Johnathan and great blog. This line stopped me in my tracks. It is so true we often only consider those closest to us, family friends colleagues, our own neighborhood – in another country our fellow country men. Living segmented like this allows an us and them mentality, if we considered everyone to be family I wonder what kind of world we would be living in?
Well Caroline, that kind of world could well be the future!
Although, I suspect it won’t be in my lifetime.
I agree Caroline the world would be so much more loving if we treated everyone as our family and not just our closest and dearest.
I love this blog. I come back to it again and again. It is such an example of how we can totally ‘lose it’ when we are behind the wheel. Somehow the car can create a feeling of being separate from everyone else, and somehow we can feel that we have superior rights on the road. A huge metaphor for life which we can use to take a good look at our habitual behaviour.
Thank you Rebecca. I think we can sometimes ‘lose it’ because modern cars can often ‘flatter’ the unexceptional driver with such technological sophistication, that they are seduced into a slightly more ‘on the edge’ style of driving.
Years ago, just keeping the car on the road, in the right gear for the gradient and constantly allowing enough braking distance for the limited brakes etc…etc….was enough to engage our abilities full-time. Thus there was less time for indulging our impulses.
Great Margaret, thanks for so honestly sharing your previous ‘reckless’ driving – reading this made me smile as it reminded me of the picture of ‘Mr Toad’s Wild ride’ when driving around the country side in this manner (probably no driving licence either!) scattering everything in the way.
Conscious presence is continuously ‘awareness in progress’ for me and probably the same for most people.
Great blog Jonathan. Driving for me in the past has been an escape, get in the car and drive like a maniac, high speeds no consideration for other motorists with no respect for my own life or anyone else’s and for many years without even having a license. Often arriving somewhere or along the way suddenly thinking where am I, I couldn’t have been much more checked out if I had tried. These days, not all the time but most of the time I am a lot more present frequently checking mirrors, feeling my hands on the steering wheel, allowing other motorists to merge rather than cutting them off and I have points up my sleeve to show for it rather than the thought that next time I get pulled up I will lose my drivers license. Conscious presence is something I am still working on and probably always will be.
Great blog Johnathan, I can totally relate and was one of those people too, impatient with other drivers and the like. I am also practicing staying present and conscious while driving, being far more friendly to other road users, and it feels so much better in my body.
Hi Jonathon I am an Englishman living in Australia and I like the style of your blog, very British especially for a Frenchman! Car advertisements, motorcyclists, road rage and how we can drive more safely when we are in conscious presence. Thank you for this.
Thank you for your kind comments Nick! As you have probably deduced, I am an Englishman who happens to live in France, and not a Frenchman. It’s been interesting to make comparisons between the different driving styles, which can often reflect the way people are in life.
Marshall that’s a good point, having a baby changed how you drive, allowed you to slow down and see life in a different angle. I wonder is it only when major things happen in our life, do we stop and make a change. I feel most of us have just got into the habit of driving and not being present. I know I have been in that momentum for a long time. It’s only over the last year have I started to make a conscious choice to be more present when I drive, a work in progress.
So true Amita, as you say, so often it is only when “major things happen in our life, do we stop and make a change”. Why wait for a major accident before being in more presence with one’s driving.
As you say Amita, driving in a ‘checked out’ disconnected sort of way can easily become a habit. Like any habit, it requires a certain amount of work to banish it, but when you do…wow,
what a difference!
Hi Jonathan, I really enjoyed reading your speedy report! I will take my shot at getting wiser in my 4 wheeler than on 2 though…
Loved this blog Jonathan. Driving seems to be one of the big “tests” for being in conscious presence! There are so many distractions for us both inside and outside of the car (the radio, music, other passengers, pedestrians, traffic lights, the phone, other cars……).
I do a lot of driving for my work and bring myself back to being present by frequently checking all my mirrors and then feeling my hands /fingers touching on the steering wheel. I still can lose my presence but they are markers for me to come back to.
I think this is great Anne. Several other people on this blog have mentioned fingers on the steering wheel, gear lever, the position of the back in the seat etc…etc.. So many ways to constantly remind oneself of the here and now. As you say, they are like markers that are always there to support you.
Yes, great point Jonathon. Do we drive our cars with great care? Or, do we become numb, and under the illusion that our ‘bubble’ will keep us safe, no matter how we are within it?
It is so easy to go into ‘autopilot’ and forget the importance of the way we drive, and the impact on ourselves and others while doing so. We don’t become invisible once inside our cars – although I’m sure some would like to think they do – so that they can get away with being irresponsible!
Thank you for sharing your experience of driving with awareness and how this is possible – even if there is not so much chat behind the wheel!
I love my car it relates to me exactly where I’m at. When I make silly mistakes I’m not present, when I’m in a hurry, the lights are red and I’m stuck in traffic and when I’m not functioning my car will break down. It’s a joy to drive when there is consideration and connection to others as that joy gets out of the car and goes with me.
What you have presented in this blog indeed brings some ponderings. I spend a lot of time in my car and have made the conscious choice to use this time as a practise to be present with myself. I find how I am with myself in the car as a good marker as to how I am with myself generally in life. If I have been disconnected generally throughout my day, I will want to put on music, check out, get to where I’m going quicker. At this point I can make the choice to use this as a full stop moment, to come back to me. To feel my hands on the steering wheel, my legs as I brake, how relaxed my arms and fingers are with the steering wheel. I now view driving differently, a time that I can just be with me.
What a great idea Donna, to use the car as a refuge from the day’s distractions in order to re-connect to yourself!
Yes, Jonathon, it is, as you say, very easy when behind the wheel to be more aggressive than what we would be otherwise and to also lose our presence with ourselves. I too am working on being more aware as I drive as I have caught myself arriving at my destination and not remembering the trip at all – i.e., I’ve just been on ‘auto pilot’. I am also being a much more courteous driver these days since attending Universal Medicine workshops and I definitely know that I arrive at my destination in a far better energetic state than I would otherwise. Furthermore, I love that I haven’t harmed others energetically (or otherwise).
I think our cars and our driving habits give us an incredible amount of feedback about ourselves.There are so many reflections reflected back to us, for example when do we use the horn, how hard do we hit the horn and how long do we keep our hand on it, how roughly do we change gears, how relaxed or not are our bodies as we drive, do we eat/drink and drive, how fast do we drive, how do we treat other road users (do we favor men or women in letting them out, if that is we even let them out), do we swear, use gestures, what car we drive, how do we look after the car, when do we fill up with petrol (leave it till the red light comes on yet again), what do we choose to listen to in the car, do we talk on the phone (hands free or not), do we offer lifts to friends or choose to be alone, do we have sex in the car, do we allow others to use our car, do we carry things in the car that are self loving (snacks/extra water/wet wipes) ? Oh the list is endless but so much is revealed about us all by answering questions about how we are in the car.
I agree Alexis, our vehicles are such extensions of ourselves. I suppose how we are with our car reflects how we are with our body (both being vehicles).
Thank you Alexis. The motor car does seem to mirror so many facets of our personality, that’s true!
Yes, we can so easily discount certain things that we do in our lives that we don’t apply the same way of being with and think that it isn’t part of the ‘me needing to be responsible list’ because it conveniently suits us not to.
Very true, trueconnections, we can so easily ‘cherry pick’ the ‘needing to be responsible’ list to suit our own convenience. Our ‘way of being’ needs to be consistent.
I agree as well Alex. Great to have more awareness about these things now. Thanks.
I found this blog to offer an interesting perspective on how we can differ from one environment (the car) to the next (face to face) – asking myself the question – am I one way in one environment and another way in the next? And if so why? What creates the barrier (or windscreen) effect?
Can also agree on how cars bring in a different angle too, being used as our mode of transportation from one place to the next their sole purpose to get us places and I find the word “drive” super interesting too, almost begs us to go into “doing to get it done” energy in our cars…. I’ll definitely be exploring my next drive. Thanks…..
Thank you Aphra, I share your interest in words. We often say someone is driven when they are highly motivated, but when you are driven as a passenger the opposite is true and you have a passive role. More and more English words are being absorbed into French, and often their meaning is changed in the process. If we are ultimately heading for one universal language, then we’ve quite a long way to go!
What came to mind when I read your comment Jonathan was the extreme care we need to apply when driving our car, especially when driving another person as they get treated by the quality in which I drive the car.
Your comment on the windscreen effect reminded me of a practice which started quite accidentally. I wanted to turn right at T junction, but the view from my side window was obscured by rain drops, so, despite the rain, I opened the window. A driver stopped and let me out.
Since then I regularly lower my window…and it works, it seems when other drivers see my face (smiling) and realise that there is a person in the car they respond differently.
What a great Idea Kathie! It must be all about just making human contact, and also, I’m sure your smiling face has a lot to do with it!
This is so lovely Kathie – who could resist responding to Heaven shining through your eyes with all encompassing equal-ness and love!
I don’t lower my window Kathie, but I do look directly at a driver I’m hoping will let me in. That works too. I wonder if they feel the connection?
That is a very good point you’re making! I can relate this to the behaviour we see online as well. When you are somewhat distanced to others you can behave a bit careless but if you get a more personal contact you pay more respect to the other.
Hello Aphra – doesn’t it also show that we tend to slouch energetically when behind the wheels, as in we lessen our overall alertness to present ourself to others and also to be alert and vigilant with ourselves, we let the car do the job and we can lurk behind the scene.
Thanks Jonathan
I too can get caught up in my own reality and not consider anyone else if I allow it.
This is crucial in the car as you have highlighted, and also in all areas of our lives.
Jonathan I can very much relate to what you describe. I observed myself changing my mood when in my car and driving aggressively, grumbling about people who are ‘too slow’ or doing something else ‘wrong’. Nowadays I am more aware and present, without separating from the outside world. I love your idea of spreading the ‘virus’: “Making an effort to be more considerate by, for example, giving way and letting people out of difficult junctions seemed to have a good effect. I would like to imagine this behaviour spreading like a virus!” I too have experienced that this has a great effect and makes a huge difference. So let´s be contagious. 😉
Thank you Katrin, Let’s be contagious and turn driving into a joyful experience.
Well said Katrin, it is so much more joyful when driving in this way.
Great observations Jonathan. It is funny how car manufacturers market their cars to who we think we are. For instance, the outdoorsy-sporty person might get an SUV, or the upper class suit might buy a Mercedes or BMW. As a society we place so much emphasis and identification on what car we are driving and the social status or image we are trying to portray when driving. This article also makes a great point in how blasé we have become while driving 110km/hr on a busy motorway. Many people have a mobile in one hand and a coffee in another so what hand are they driving with? Very scary! The day after my son was born and we drove back from the hospital, I remember driving so tenderly and considerately as if I had a car full of priceless porcelain vases. It made me wonder afterwards why I don’t drive like this all the time???
Thank you Marshall, it’s amazing how powerful that ‘precious cargo’ notion is. It could explain the proliferation of those back-window stickers proclaiming ‘baby on board’. It’s hoping to appeal to peoples’ sense of humanity and brotherhood. As you say though it needs to be put into practice full-time and not just on special occasions.
Hmm Jonathan, wonder where you buy the sticker that says ‘Human on board’?
Yes Ariana, I drove my car when intoxicated on several occasions many many years ago, and remember the level of concentration it took to stay on the correct side of the road! That level of irresponsibility and lack of care for myself and others is horrifying. Driving is a time when I now feel every bit of distraction and it is always an opportunity to practice being present. I love that about driving these days.
Gosh that is true Ariana, I had forgotten those days – reminds me of Mr Bean. You never know who is behind the wheel of another car and what they are on or are going through or have been through! It is certainly a good idea to stay aware. I find if I allow myself plenty of time and leave the house and get into the car in a present and graceful way then my whole journey has a completely different quality.
Great point Marshall, if you drive like that with your baby son, why not drive like that all the time because you never know who else might be carrying precious cargo, and you yourself are precious cargo too.
Well said Jonathan and Arianna! It is good to remember that we are ‘precious cargo’ and this not only in the car – also in conversations, meetings, when I am alone with me…I am always caring this precious thing around: me. And so do all. Good to remember how precious we all are and to take care of our worth.
Great blog – it really outlines how we can become so separated and in competition with each other when driving. Sometimes when I’m driving and start to feel frustrated by other drivers, I imagine “what if the person in that car was a member of my family or a friend or next door neighbour?”. It feels that in making that connection I am less likely to get “road rage” and become more understanding that they are a person just like me, living their life and having to deal with all sorts of things as well.
Interesting point Melissa, I wonder if people drive differently in small communities where everybody knows everybody?
There, the potential embarrassment of upsetting neighbours and friends probably focusses one’s attention more on considerate driving. I’m only guessing, but could this be the case?
As I was reading this blog, I was enjoying replacing being in a car with being in my body. While we can be in connection and presence, we can also use our senses to indulge and react and become insulated and we do not need cars to do this!
Absolutely Simon, but if we do use the car to practice these things, it surely is a tad more dangerous!
I enjoyed this article Jonathan – thank you…I feel driving can bring up issues of control for us, and as you say then comes the judgement etc….And very true – that allowing ourselves to be more fully present when in our cars is key…..
What an opportunity to consider the impact our every choice and action has on all those around us. This is a gem of an article and a super cool wake up call.
Great article Jonathon,. I agree, your analogy of being in the comforting bubble of your car can easily give us the illusion we are separate to other road users and is pure gold. Add to this the complexity of sharing the road with others all on their own journey, navigating at their own speed, with their own agenda, on increasingly busy and complicated roads… we can easily see how we can get lost and definitely distracted. This is also a great analogy to the excessive stimuli of modern life in general. A life where we can again all feel separate from each other. This separateness breeds the lie that we are all alone when the exact opposite is true. To share the roads with each other everyday as humans we must learn to merge and give way to each other and let each other in. Understand that we are all on our own journey and at the end of the day we are all intending to eventually get home… just after a few deviations along the way.
Absolutely true Suse! It seems that all the technical ‘gizmos’ that we are surrounded with, do seem to promote separateness in a way that I am sure was not the original intention. The modern image of everybody talking into their phones on a busy station, and yet nobody actually talking to those next to them is very potent!
This a telling blog, how the car can so easily become a capsule of distraction and disconnection. It also can lead to individualism and complete selfishness, as when I’m distracted and disconnected other road users become annoying and inconvenient hindrances if they, even in the slightest way, prevent me from ‘doing my own thing’ on the road. I can now see how driving the car can be an opportunity to help us be the opposite way; to put into practice being present, caring and considerate. It will be interesting and fun to start observing how that changes the driving ‘experience’.
Thank you David, I really look forward to hearing from you when you start to notice the difference it makes! I personally
have found that talking through situations out loud, for example, “O.K. Mr lorry, I know that you are going to pull out
so I shall start slowing down and creating more space”…..etc.,
when alone in the car, seems to work. Although it might sound a bit bonkers!
Like the suggestion thanks Jonathon. Not bonkers at all, I enjoy a bit of silliness.
Gosh, it’s making a difference already. Both me and the fuel tank are less drained. And I’m sure my fellow road users are enjoying more space.
I guess the car is where a lot of people’s frustrations in life play out. I am sure there are many people (in terms of coping with everyday life) that are not doing so well these days so the car can be like this false haven where it we can appear have some control back again (hence the ‘escape’ style advertisements where the driver and car are alone on a winding picturesque mountain road somewhere)… but the fact that the road can be a pretty agro (even violent) place to be just proves that what’s going on inside people from all walks of life is far from harmonious. Some drivers cut other drivers off, some abuse others, some are completely unaware how their driving endangers other people… it’s all really a metaphor for the way we do life.
Love what you’ve said here Dean. It’s all too true about the frustration and looking to gain some control of one’s life.
I love what you have shared here it captures so much – there is a very real opportunity to practise our presence in the car – I find it amazing how easily I can check out and not remember sections of journey and when I am present I can feel so connected to what is happening in cars all around me.
It’s amazing how much my car reflected me. My car was a large tank which I drove very fast – after 4 years of truly learning about myself I now feel like a child in my dad’s clothes. I have just got to learn to slow it down a bit, but least now I am in the driving seat – awake.
I love your observations about driving and this feeling of being disconnected as soon as we get behind the wheel of our car. It’s a though it’s just about us and what goes on in the car is our own little world – be it engrossed in conversations, the music we play, the snacks we eat, the grooming in the mirror etc – it’s like we treat being in a car to being in our own lounge. We seem to easily forget that we are in a moving object that we are responsible for!
I’m trying to visualise what you are saying here Susan, when applied to the driver of a bus, a big lorry, a train or even a Jumbo Jet! In fact any situation where there are passengers who rather rely on the driver and willingly trust him/her, with their life. I know that I would be rather shocked if my bus driver started using an electric razor or a personal Hi-Fi while navigating 3 lanes of fast-moving traffic. Is there any difference between this situation, (deliberately extreme to make a point), and a lone driver who is acting similarly while surrounded by lots of other drivers?
yes I see what you mean Jonathan, it’s the same thing. When I stop and feel about how we generally behave it is quite shocking to see what we try and get away with, especially in situations like driving or even flying – it involves so many others, more than we care to realise…
Driving has become more complex over time as there are more and more people on the road, wider roads and more lanes to navigate at fast speed, and our cars have become more and more automated. We need to be more aware and connected to our environment while we’re driving while at the same time there is less to ‘do’ – steering is powered and gear changes are automatic, even the driving speed can be set, so that all we have to do is steer the car. The bubble is complete with the windows up and the aircon on and the radio or music playing. It’s all designed to disconnect us from ourselves and each other – a very dangerous state to be in. Thanks for the reminder, Jonathan, of how important it is to be consciously present while driving and to stay connected to what’s happening around and within us. It’s possible for us all to move in life – and on the roads – in a harmonious rhythm together.
Wow you sound like you have an Amazing car : ) Reading “Driving has become more complex over time as there are more and more people on the road, wider roads and more lanes to navigate at fast speed, and our cars have become more and more automated” I could feel how it reflected the busyness, hecticness and craziness of the world. And it’s true we can be in a bubble in our cars but we can also stay present and be connected with all .. it is just a choice.
So true Judy, our cars are increasingly complex bubbles that keep us that much more disconnected from reality, until we choose to wind down that window and feel the reality of what is sapping outside.
There are so many subtle ways to keep ourselves connected and present, and not drifting far away in autopilot.
It’s seems to be more than just a possibility now Judy, that in the future, cars will be robot controlled and we shall all be just passengers, driven hither and thither by our silicon chauffeurs.
In which case we will be free to work, think, plan or just look at the view. I wonder, will this connect us more or connect us less to ourselves? There is something I find very engaging about the act of driving, when one is really present, that I think I would miss!
So True Fiona – the ultimate safe haven where no one can see you and the facade falls away. Pushing our stuff down and not wanting to deal with it is bound to come out one way or another.
I think that you have put this beautifully Shirley-Ann. Staying detached and ‘observing’ without ‘absorbing’ seems to be key.
With the benefit of ‘detachment’ one can almost feel the situation ease and the tension evaporate.
It is an unusual phenomenon when as you say “mild mannered’ people become hostile and even arrogant on the roads. Surely this doesn’t come out of nowhere! It must be bubbling away inside them, as they try to keep a lid on the frustration when they are with other people. Somehow the car seems to be a place where we feel its ok for the lid to come off and for all those pent up frustrations to erupt. What happens on the roads feels like a reflection of how truly frustrated and stressed people are.
Interesting point Fiona. If we feel the car is the most permissible place for emotions to be revealed or released, why should that be? What qualities does the car possess that
makes it encourage us to ‘take the lid off’ these emotions?
A great blog Jonathan and one I can completely relate to! It is a wonderful feeling when driving with presence, I get the sense that we are moving together like a herd of animals and find that my awareness expands and I become much more attuned to my surrounds and the movement of others. I had always lived in small towns until recently and one of my most welcomed experiences here has been finding my place, and my confidence on the road. I look forward to driving and the reflection it brings, such as, if I have left home with ‘not enough time’ I may drive with heightened anxiety – however if I have given myself plenty of space, I will join the herd and move gracefully toward my destination!
True Clare, it is so much more pleasant to join the herd than to try to fight against it all the time.
What a delightful blog to read, and so relatable. Yes, the car as a vehicle for escape, freedom and power – buy this amazing car and you too shall own the road! And in reality we creep along at a maximum speed of 30km per hour and take 30 minutes to travel the 2.4 km trip to work (yes, it is true!)…perhaps more on why I don’t walk later.
I love the way you have drawn the image of the car being a “virtual” bubble creating licence for applying behaviours.
This is a parallel for the virtual quality of the online world, another place that is imbued with a sense of unreality, resulting in vile behaviour, aggression and arrogance.
Thank you Rachel, your first point reminds me of a recent visit to London, where we found ourselves in a neighbourhood ‘awash’ with Ferraris and Bentleys. In typical traffic these powerhouses are rendered impotent and offer no advantage whatsoever over shanks’s pony. In financial terms they are an investment disaster. Nevertheless, they exist in such numbers
as to demonstrate the power of delusion in certain quarters. Perhaps the slow-moving nature of the traffic gives their gilded carriages more admiration time?
Haha! Love it. More time to “perv*” at those gilded carriages.
*Colloquial term with slightly creepy overtones, meaning to look admiringly.
There are some really great points brought to light in this article. The one I connected to the most, today, is the feeling of being insular in my car. I do feel more encapsulated when I am in my car, more insular. Once upon a time I use to be one of those drivers who let loose, my built up rage, onto other drivers on the road. Sometimes I felt superior because of my ‘excellent’ driving skills, other times I felt all fired up and energised, but most of the time I felt terrible for the way I was treating people. As I have become more responsible with how I treat myself, I have become more responsible with how I treat others. I now see that the way I was when I was raging at other drivers was a reflection of all the pent up rage I felt towards myself, I just felt more protected in my car so I let loose. Nowadays, I don’t yell at other drivers, there is no more swearing, there is the occasional reaction when another driver is driving too slow or not aware of what is going on around them but instead of attacking them from inside my car, I stop and ask myself where I could be holding back or not being aware of what is going on around me, therefore realising that how I feel towards others is always about how I am feeing towards myself. This is a level of personal responsibility I don’t remember feeling before and I have to say it feels so amazing not just for me but for all those around me, the pressure is off for others around me to change, it is me who changes instead.
Thank you Robyn, it sounds to me as if you have discovered a far more harmonious way of being in your car, and isn’t it just such a huge improvement! The whole experience becomes smooth and relaxed and one is better prepared for the unexpected.
Those I know who have been caught speeding and have chosen to attend the day’s workshop on rules of the road in order to save their points, have been very glad they attended, and came away with a heightened awareness of how present we have to be behind the wheel, I believe this is emphasised, and responsibility is a big key issue too, as those who have been victims of others disregard have come to speak about the impact on their lives. I feel driving is a huge and important metaphor for life, it reflects all my choices back to me. I love it when I connect and am present, and then I feel loving towards myself and everyone else.
Totally agree about responsibility Joan! As in driving, as in Life, we all have responsibilities. In our dealings with others,
whether it’s in the supermarket, the bank, or the car we need to be consistent.
What you present Jonathan is so spot on. I drive by the rules and stick to the speed limits often having irritated drivers driving right up close behind me getting very irritated.
And yet I’ve received 2 driving fines for speeding over the years, both times I was very much NOT present and so I was totally disconnected from myself, my car and the road and subsequently wasn’t aware of the speed limit.
A timely reminder of simple conscious presence. It can be very easy to drift off into another world or emotion or discussion when doing something completely different!
Well said Ingrid – first lesson in driving” to be consciously present before getting into the car”
Awesome blog Jonathon and while very entertaining, was also crammed full of so much truth and much to ponder on in the development of being a responsible driver, and a responsible human being. I feel that the a large percentage of drivers not only feel that – this is my car, therefore this is my road and I can do whatever I want on it, and look out if you get in my way. And of course if anything untoward occurs it’s always the other person’s fault. Some years ago I began to have the awareness that this actually didn’t feel true and that if someone drove into me there was a part that I had played, that I had some responsibility in the accident. And after several amazing presentations from Serge Benhayon I realised that yes, this was definitely the case and then slowly I began to understand that how I am living is always reflected back to me by how I am driving and also caring for my car. Your blog definitely needs to be part of a Driver’s Education – first lesson; an introduction to being consciously present before getting into the car!
What great advice Ingrid, being consciously present Before driving off. I’m convinced that most types of rage and frustration evident on the road, start a long time before the car does!
Thanks Jonathan, great insights, I have observed much the same in others on the road – it’s interesting how the arrogance of anonymity takes over but we all feel everything all of the time. An awesome reminder for conscious presence.
Such a great read. When I am a passenger and the driver gets ‘road rage’ I instantly go into reaction, becoming tense in my body and irritated at the person for their short fuse and judgement on another. Interesting reflection here as maybe neither of us are present at that moment. A perfect reminder of the importance of being truly present. Thank you.
A good point Michelle, its interesting how many people can get affected by one person’s road rage.
What a great blog. very revealing of our ignorance, and arrogance, and unwillingness to be present. I enjoyed the fact that I was brought to more presence just by reading it. Thank you
I’m still working through what happens to me in the car which is pretty much exactly what you describe. In the supermarket I’m polite and considerate and at the ‘checkout’ (hehe) I wait patiently, let people go before me if they have a few items in their basket. But in the car, I typically become impatient and often frustrated. It’s like being possessed. Thanks for your insights Jonathan, lots to ponder on.
There is great truth and wisdom in this blog, thank you for reminding us that every moment counts and is an opportunity to bring all of who we are. Next time i am on the highway and am tempted to check out or reach for my phone to check messages because I am bored, i will remind myself that everything is everything and how we are on the road is, like everything we do, a microcosm of our whole lives. If i am distracted, bored, aggressive and not consciously present in the car, so too am i these things outside of the car. Everything is a reflection and an opportunity to learn, go deeper in our understanding of ourselves and open our hearts to humanity.
Spot-on Megan! If the car is such a powerful reflector of everything that we are in life, then why the need to check out?
Getting behind the wheel is simply engaging with life, which as you say is a great opportunity to learn!
Jonathan, you blog made me reflect on how sometimes I am very patient and kind whilst driving, allowing other road users to merge easily and letting others in with patience. And other times I will not budge on my “spot” in the lane. Definitely a reflection of times I feel in the flow of oneness with humanity and when I feel individual and separated. Thank you for this insight.
Whilst reading the blog I reflected on how I used to be when driving the car. Upon setting off down the road my mind would usually start wondering and for no good reason at all I would lose all patience for other road users and pedestrians.
I have found the same as Victoria, in that how I am in the car is a reflection of ‘ the quality I am living and how present I am’. By adopting a more gentle, loving approach to how I use the car and how I interact with others on the road, certainly makes the journey more enjoyable for all.
This is interesting Peter because most of us just leap in the car and drive with no more preparation or forethought than if we were brushing our teeth or drinking a cup of tea! Perhaps because of this we are surprised or even ambushed by situations which present themselves and we react in varying degrees of ‘outrage’…..”How dare they do that”……. sort of thing. Adopting conscious presence, Before sallying forth must be the answer.
I love your reference Jonathan to the car being seen as an ‘individual capsule’ or ‘bubble of isolation’. Often In the bubble there is a false sense of security and ‘freedom’ that seems to give licence to act out any number of repressed emotions or reactions.
I often like to observe how I am behind the wheel, it is a great reflection of the quality I am living and how present I am, no different than when outside of the car, as we carry our vehicle (the body) with us wherever we go.
So our cars represent our bodies, right! The last few days I have been feeling I need to drink more water but not been doing it. This morning I got into my car and a big red flashing light came up on the dashboard saying ‘STOP’. I got out of my car, put more water in it (where it should go not on the seats! : ) and the light switched off and everything was fine! I think it is trying to tell me something : )
Dear Vicky, I love this comment! All I can say is, I hope your OIL light doesn’t come on. When this happens a total seizure is imminent !
Ha ha .. gosh me too. I’m going to check that tomorrow : )
Jonathan as I was reading your blog I got an insight into a mentality that seems to reign over us — that when we are in our car we are in our own little bubble and world, where we can keep the rest of the world out. Hence the clever marketing images of travelling down coastal roads with no one but us — freedom is associated with us being alone and having lots of space.
But aren’t the marketers simply leveraging what so many of us put out, that we’re overwhelmed, stressed and exhausted, and hence the idea of space and escaping is so tempting. The trouble is, the marketing message which then becomes a message in our own head whilst we drive our car and get into that escape mode driving down a quiet country road it doesn’t do anything about the overwhelm, stress and exhaustion — it simply gives us a respite from it — and then, when we’re in a busy road with lots of traffic we go into a ‘how dare you?’!! . This is my peace and quiet time!
Road rage has a lot to do with us not looking inwards as to why we can get so irritated in the first place, and it shows how through our lack of looking at the why, we can easily cause harm to others.
As you say Katerina, those marketing folks are trying to sell us a ‘Holiday from Reality’. The trouble is, Reality has a habit of biting us hard when we return to it!
To be all encompassing while in traffic is quite a biggie. The way we react or are in the car, says a lot about our state of being. Thanks for this article.
Thank you Eleonara. It’s true, it’s a biggie but it depends upon one’s perception of ‘Traffic’, which can be seen either as an obstacle to one’s progress, or alternatively, just many people doing and thinking exactly what you are doing and thinking. Everyone shares a common objective so there’s no reason or need for emotion.
“Consciously present while you are driving” is so important but it is so lacking. I’d say a large part of the cause for accidents is “incompetent driving” and the reason for this is “people are not consciously present when they are driving”. Thank you for the great article covering a worldwide phenomenon.
HI Jonathan
I loved reading your blog, what a delightful expression of something that effects us all, driver, passenger, pedestrian and home dweller!
How detached we can become in our chariots racing around like gladiators trying to win the race and someone dares to get in our way!
My feeling is that it heightens the whole ‘better than less than’ beliefs and from the ‘safety’ of a moving vehicle allows people an eruption of otherwise held in emotions.
A fresh look at my place on the road is the result of reading this blog.
Thank you.
Thank you Julie, an interesting point. Perhaps driving is over-stimulating our emotions which then spill out in the various forms mentioned. If this is the case, then we really need to calm ourselves down and be more present, so that our awareness is turned-up. Behind the wheel is definitely not the place for emotion.
Thank you Jonathan, love how you describe how we individualize being in our car and leaving everybody behind instead of being present and supportive with everybody around us. Thats such a great reminder of how to live truthfully and with an absolute presence every second.
Imagine a world where each person was bringing this same level of presence not only to their driving but to other parts of their daily life – walking on the foot path with others around, in the supermarket, at our work stations at work, as we cook a meal – in fact all parts of our life!
Absolutely Tan, how cool would it be! So much fun is what I imagine.
What a simply lovely idea Tanya!
Thank you Jonathan great reminder to be more present and considerate behind the wheel, this would be a great blog to give all those that have just passed their driving tests.
Jonathan, I love what you have written and how you have delivered it. Our cars do seem to be an extension of how we are within ourselves, outwardly expressed to the world. You are right in saying we would never scream and yell at another person outside the bubble of our car so why do we do it from within? Maybe because it is not ‘road rage’ it is ‘self rage’ and it is in our bodies whether we are choosing to vent it or not. Wow – I can really feel how we all are collectively ‘insulated from reality’ when driving. As one who put her car in a ditch for no ‘apparent’ reason, just a few days ago, your sharing of the importance of ‘conscious presence’ is very apt. Funny thing is, I am more ‘consciously present’ now then I have ever been in my life! So what this shows me is where I have not held this and where I have been ‘cutting corners’ – oh yeah, which is how I ended up in the ditch! Thankyou ☺
Dear Liane, I do hope you are not hurt! Wounded pride perhaps? I remember a friend once telling me that he was ‘fiddling’ with something in the car while driving and managed to drive off the road and hit a lamp post. When he got out, there was nobody in sight! He said he felt rather small. I think you have made a good point with ‘self rage’ as I believe that ‘road rage’ probably starts long before the car does.
Thanks Jonathan. Yes, it was just my pride that needed urgent medical attention by way of amputation (it does seem to get in the way!) It was a lone strike, no one was around, quiet country road, nothing to seemingly distract me, my eyes were on the road, my mind was elsewhere. A lesson for me that choosing to momentarily disconnect from my body, resulted in me cutting a corner and getting stuck in a ditch. Lack of presence (choosing to be less than what we are) ultimately leads to a form of paralysis, even if not physical, as it renders our next step absent.
Thanks for sharing this Jonathan. Yes I agree that there is no doubt that many people once behind the wheel of a car, merge into their own little world.
‘The motor car is certainly one area where each of us, confined to a bubble of isolation, can, if not checked, let arrogance reign supreme’ … interesting to note, this is just like the internet. As soon as we have a sense of anonymity, behaviour changes.
How ironic I just recieved 2 speed camera fines in the mail this week.I suppose the way you drive is symbolic of the way you live
It is actually very beautiful to drive while considering everyone else around us equally instead of just paving my way through the crowded traffic. In that sense traffic is a great reflection of how I relate with life.
Great observation Alex, using traffic as a great reflection of how we relate with life. When we drive with consideration of others the journey is smooth.,
An inspiring insight Alex about the beauty of considering everyone equally when driving. Something I will more consciously put into practice
One huge awareness I have when driving is to not drive at speed through any water that may be lying on the road surface – there can be a temporary loss of vision as the water whooshes over the windscreen, but also to ensure not to be soaking any pedestrians walking on the pavement in that moment – something I learnt well from the experience of a van driver behaving like Mr Toad on his wild ride, with the very obvious intent of splashing and covering pedestrians with water with a big grin lighting up his face when mission accomplished.
This has been such a great reminder for me about conscious presence behind the wheel, I use driving as a great marker as to my presence. Am i distracted by my phone, wanting to check it at a set of lights? wanting to talk to someone whilst i am traveling to my destination. Checking out when listening to talk back radio. These are things that are common place in the car. So what you have shared has brought a huge amount to reflect on, so thank you.
Awesome Raegan, wanting to check my phone in traffic can be a big one for me to keep an eye on so thank you for bringing it up.
I find I too can be tempted to check a text or an email whilst stopped at a traffic light, in traffic or even whilst driving (yikes, yes it’s been done) but with the accident rate increased dramatically by the use of mobile phones, it has to be a loving choice for everyone on the road for me to turn my phone off or hide it, or at least leave it in my bag when I’m driving and focus solely on the job in hand. I’m going to try it out this week and see by choosing this and creating the space, what may fill it’s place, a lovely view, a connection with another driver, a moment to be with me. Thank you for the inspiration Raegan.
What a great article Jonathon – and with play-fullness and pun.
I agree there seems to be a level of increased impatient behaviour and aggression on our roads and in the car parks also. It seems we almost have to be in expectation of this expression of pent up and percolating frustration or anger in others at any moment when we are in our motor vehicles, but to prevent the perhaps evidence of anxiety levels rising in myself as a result of this I have found it necessary more than ever before to check in if I am present with myself when behind the wheel of my car.
Thanks for the timely reminder Raegan. Since reading Jonathon’s awesome blog last week I have been observing my driving habits very closely and at times have been a little shocked at my lack of conscious presence – I have obviously been kidding myself that I don’t have a problem! Getting a great idea for a blog and writing in my head as I drive is one that has been occurring quite a bit lately and I am very surprised as to how many kilometres have passed before I realise that I haven’t been present. Obviously a great blog idea will wait for me until the appropriate time to record it, so I can cross that one off my distraction list. And I have also recently started checking messages while stopped at the traffic lights – planning to leave my phone in the back seat tomorrow! More observing coming up this week for me as I drive to and from work.
Love your sense of humour in this writing! And yes you have made a very valid point – how we express in the car driving should really be no different to how we are otherwise. There is much consideration of others that we can keep building into our daily lives, be it on road or off road (pun intended).
It is never advised to drive your car either with your eyes closed or whilst ignoring all other road users. A good piece of advice for life.
I am still laughing at your comment Matilda – it is great advice though!
That is a brilliant piece of advice and will apply to all areas of live not ignoring any off ramps or dead ends!
I love your humereous comment Matilda. It puts acting whilst oblivious those around you into proper perspective.
Yes, driving oblivious to others is a reckless way to navigate and certainly applies to other areas of life. This plays out on the pavement as well – looking down, away, in a fog, not moving to navigate oncoming traffic and not being present as one moves and not seeing other people on their path. There have been many instances i have experienced of cars driving on the wrong side of the road at full speed, around blind corners, on highways, trucks crossing double carriageways to turn right where there is no right turn, tailgating, raging, swearing and making obscene gestures and many other dangerously reckless acts which pollute the roads we drive on. A few weeks ago i witnessed Car A trying to side ram another Car B off the road on and off for a few Kms ahead of me because Car B ad attempted to merge into Car A’s lane. Have you noticed how people speed up to not let others in? You can feel the harshness, the steeled reserve to plough on through, perhaps drive right over the top of them if they could, deliberately make no eye contact and turn a blind eye. We (Humanity) appear to have developed great impatience towards others and appear to settle for such little understanding. There is a mentality of push, shove, move out of my way and stomping on each other. Where is the Humanity and Brotherhood in this way of driving and life?
While I was reading your description about the car like a capsule, I could feel how it was like a metaphor for the mind, that we think we are enclosed in a bubble and therefore we can think what we like and that it doesn’t affect anyone else outside us. Loved your reference to Toad! A great blog thank you Jonathan.
Absolutely Bernadette! This gives a very clear indication of how insular we can live as a single ‘unit’ who can forget that they are a part of a greater unit – the Universe, comprised of many other living ‘units’ and more. Makes me wonder what power is at play to keep us so insular and so small and why we even choose to listen to such a lie…
Great metaphor Bernadette, and very true
I like the bit about the bubble of self supremacy, and also how important it is to be conscious of how your driving is affecting others.
I try and make checks in with myself to remain present so at times I don’t get lost and become a Mister Magoo, if anyone can remember the cartoon, causing havoc along the way by a lack of conscious presence.
I can totally relate to this, and oh so not mundane, thank you for sharing.
I have experienced exactly how the way I am in my car affects those around me, and also how others are in their cars that can affect me, not really unlike the way we are in and with our bodies.
What a lovely realisation Johnathon,
What an Awesome Read.
Imagine a world without it? Without road Rage?
Every person just really being considerate of all those around them – and behaving like what I do in my car actually does effect those around me.
What a strange and foreign concept in this modern world!!??
Thank you Simon. Yes believe it or not, gracious behaviour is still alive and well on our roads! That ‘Dunkirk Spirit’ seems to surface when it snows, or there is a major accident or a ten mile traffic queue. In other words, when we all realise that we’re all in the same boat! That’s when the sense of ‘Brotherhood’ fleetingly reappears in the neighbourhood.
Can relate to this blog
I totally get the advertiser’s play out of you and ‘your’ car. (No one else)
This is the key factor that does allow people to not consider “hey I’m driving a 3 ton mental car” I need to have my mind on the game and be constantly aware.
Through this unawareness or disconnection, it can be easily seen how people talk of opposite personality in the car.
I really enjoyed reading this blog and completely relate to that feeling of invincibility behind the wheel. Though I also feel how this applies to other aspects of ‘virtual armour’ we walk around with acting, speaking or thinking from a level of dis-connection to ourselves with the reasoning that we have a shield to defend ourselves from the responding result of our expression. These shields are vast and varied but basically constitute any means of distracting/numbing ourselves from feeling the true energetic outplays going on.
It is hard to understand why people seem to act differently when they are in their own bubble of a car as you say than when you meet them in person. Why too do people on the internet act differently or less reservedly than they would if you meet them face to face? It seems to reflect the disconnection people think they have in these situations to the rest of humanity around them; isolated in their car; or isolated in their home. We are all connected though and all need to be respectful and honouring of ourselves and the world around us at all times. Each of us is responsible for our energetic contribution to the world we live in; whether we contribute love, or anger and disregard is up to us.
This is an interesting point about anonymity Gretel. I think that if the people who hide behind anonymity realised that they could be held accountable for their actions energetically, and that somehow at some future time they would find themselves on the receiving end of something similar, then they may think twice about doing it. Perhaps it’s the notion that they can simply get away with it, that makes them do it.
I loved reading this blog. The way you used humour to actually completely expose what was going on and the ridiculousness. I realised so much…and enjoyed it completely (Had many laughs in there). This is awesome. E.g ‘Road rage’ is a phrase frequently heard used, but who ever heard of ‘pavement rage’ or ‘platform rage’.”…Funny, but so true! Wow- it is amazing how insular, judgmental, arrogant, individual and ‘fight for your own’ we can become when driving in a car. But this is not the way. This has opened my eyes to a more harmonious and loving approach to being on the road and I liked how you said ‘more considerate…giving way and letting people out of difficult junctions’- instead of holding this self in “the road is mine- i have to get someone”- which also shows our approach to driving- always leaving ‘just’ enough time…never really allowing enough time to enjoy the ride. A life-changer. Thank you. You are awesome. I will definitely read this blog again and share it.
I like this practical example of the fact that everything we do affects everything and everyone
Thank you Jonathan, I really enjoyed your writing and the way it prompted me to consider more deeply the way I am while driving and how affected I can get by other’s lack of presence as well.
Totally agree with you. Driving really does reveal just how present we are with ourselves. Sometimes I wonder why there are not more accidents on the road with the level of distraction that most drivers have.
Great blog Jonathon. It does seem that once people sit in their vehicles that they are void of the rest of the world and what’s going on around them. It becomes this crazy race to get to their destination. But what if everyone became much more present and considerate of others around them? The road would be a lovely place to be. I now find myself taking more time to get to my destination and driving with much more presence, which has made driving much more enjoyable too.
It does happen from time to time Kelly, you’ve probably noticed that there are days when the traffic flows beautifully and nobody seems to be too aggressive and everyone’s happy. The calmness and tranquility can be quite infectious.
Equally though, when problems arise and people get stressed, that can also be infectious. Certainly I think that the situation would be more stable if more drivers were more present.
I remember in Wind in The Willows how much Toad’s behaviour annoyed me! How is it that when we feel the sense of mastery, independence,power and freedom that comes with driving its so easy to lose touch with our responsibility for the precious lives of ourselves and our fellows?
You are spot on Jonathan in citing that the commitment to holding our presence makes the difference. I wonder what it is that kicks in when we are not paying attention to being present?
Jonathan I feel it is an accurate statement “I would like to imagine this behaviour spreading like a virus!” when talking about the effort you make to be more considerate, and I can see it works in the reverse as well. When we drive we leave behind us an imprint of the way we are feeling that hits the driver behind us in the face or graces them, dependent on how we are feeling and driving.
Great sharing Jonathon. Thank you. I can relate. I use little tricks and tools when I drive to support me to be present when I drive, such as being aware with how I open the door, feeling my finger tips on the handle, presently and with grace I get myself into seat, feeling as my bottom contacts the seat and how my back/ posture rest. I bring awareness to how my hand feels as I turn the key, undo the hand break and rest my hands on the steering wheel. My hands on the steering wheel allows me to feel how tender and presently I can place them. This is a gauge. Now because this way is my normal and is part of how I drive, when I am not present- it is like an instant memory or reminder that pops up to support me to be present.
That sounds like a really great technique Johanna. I like to think of Serge’s example of putting the chair down gently as in Livingness 1, where he is considering the next occupant and is therefore being gentle, rather than just slamming it down. Everything that we do within the car can be done in that same considerate way, with our awareness really ‘turned up full’.
I use the same kind of techniques johanna08smith and I really feel the disharmony in my body immediately if I don’t get into the car in this way now. In a public car park yesterday there was a car nearby that the driver got out of his car and pushed the door shut with such a brutal force, the car actually shook as he walked angrily away.
Wow, what a great stuff. So true, Jonathan, what you wrote. Since a few years I am using driving or traveling to increase my awareness. And it is really hard to stay with my self although I am focusing again and again. It is true life, the street as daily battlefield. Good reminder to keep on with training and developing my tenderness and stillness by surrendering myself at the wheel and in the drivers seat.
I love what you bring here Jonathon, the car can be such a place for checking out. The way you described how being in your car has the potential to feel like you are in own little bubble of altered realty. In a way it is similar to ‘troll’ on the internet creating havoc in a distorted reality without actually feeling (or having to live) the effect of their actions, just like speeding past people on the sidewalk with no consideration. Unfortunately the ‘Troll” is not held to account for their actions, whereas a speeding ticket can stop you and make you consider your actions. I am aware of the ease in checking out in the car but reading this blog has helped me to commit to a deeper level of conscious presence in the car.
Great article Jonathan, raising my awareness that how we are when we drive directly impacts and influences all others, gives driving a whole greater purpose.
I have been practicing conscious presence while driving recently and realised it’s not so easy to be in it throughout my entire journey from A to B. Very true, you don’t hear of ‘Pavement Rage’ or Platform Rage’ I laughed when I read that. We need to bring more awareness to everyone on the road and to be aware of why we behave differently in our car. Great blog
Absolutely Chan – although I cannot yet drive, I agree that on a whole we definitely need to bring more awareness to how we are on the road, as if we are in a state of anger or impatience it can affect everyone driving around us.
I now use my car as a marker to where my body is at in that moment. I used to always speed and drive hard. I was generally never abusive unless something really rude occurred and was a courteous driver with letting people in to a lane etc. But now I drive not just in a courteous way for others, but for myself. If a mistake is made by others I allow them the space to do this without honking my horn and scorning them. I now drive at the speed limit and am aware of my conscious presence when driving. When I lose this presence I can quickly bring it back because of the commitment I’ve made to this area of my life. Driving is no longer this racey momentum, but another opportunity to drive with love on the road for others and for myself. It feels wonderful.
I feel that this quality is quite contagious Tracy, and one can very quickly start to feel the positive effect that it has on others on the road.
I too use driving in my car as a marker for myself and am constantly checking in with how I am driving and how it feels. Where you say…. If a mistake is made by others I allow them the space to do this without honking my horn and scorning them, this is something that feels so lovely to do for another on the road and brings a totally different feeling in me that brings in much more of a joy and purpose around driving.
I was having an interesting conversation today with my team leader essentially about staying present when driving. Apparently when he learnt to drive he was told that the undertakers best clients were the overtakers
Something similar I was told when young Kathie, was that it’s better to arrive late in this world, than early in the next!
Good point Heather! I certainly would not like to share the same road space as those two! I’m sure one would be able feel the energy from several cars away.
Yes, I find it easy to become self-absorbed and inattentive when driving. Within the confines of my car, I have found that I can be feeling present and being self – absorbed in how good that feels but not be fully attentive to what’s going on around me. So I wasn’t truly present after all or I would have been more aware and considerate of the other road users. Ouch!
I know recently I’ve found myself wandering on the road distracted, briefly but still not totally on the ball. How quickly it is we find ourselves in and out
I can recall many checked-out moments whilst driving in my younger years that led to scares, fines and a few near death experiences.
I feel that a lot of the time when I drove off in my car to escape, I was in fact also trying to escape from me, and often succeeded.
Natalie Benhayon offered a beautiful gift a while ago whilst presenting at a Universal Medicine course when she described the techniques she uses to stay present whilst driving.
Now when I am driving, sitting, walking and lying, I regularly check my body – how it feels, my breath – how gentle is it, in the car – my mirrors, my speed, what’s around me.
I wouldn’t say that I have staying present perfected, but I have shifted a long way from the days when I use to hop in my car with the aim of escaping from myself, others and life.
If you are anything like as old as I am Rob, you will remember that one could get away with so much more in the sixties and seventies, simply because there wasn’t the same volume of traffic on the roads! We now have 3 mirrors where we used to have just one and I think that says quite a lot!
Yes nothing like a fine to snap you into conscious presence when driving – I too had that occur not too long ago. But better a fine however.
I agree Jen. Several months ago, I was snapped going through a red light (I say orange, they say red!). I justified it to myself – I’d assessed the situation, it was safe and therefore OK. The fine snapped me out of my arrogance very quickly. The fine made me stop and re-think my actions which were based on control (and impatience). I didn’t want to have to wait at the lights so pushed through the orange/red light. But when the fine came, i asked myself ‘what if I just accept where I am at any given time, and know that is where I need to be’. I may not know why, and don’t need to, but just to accept and be wherever I am. Whether that’s in a traffic queue, or just missing the green light. It removes any pressure or stress on needing to be somewhere else…which is the opposite of conscious presence.
What a beautiful observation and description of this Jonathan, thank you for giving me a focus on observing what is happening with me and other people behind the wheel in a “bubble of isolation” influenced by the advertising.
When I got my first car last year, very late as I am 46, I remember that I started to drive joyful and playfully letting the other car-drivers conciously in (my heart), (as I experienced it in an exercise with Unimed presentations face to face.) I sent loving air-kisses to every other car around me and felt, what the effect of that was. Now I realize, that I overcame the bubble of isolation at that moment, and remember how beautiful that feeling was also when very uncommon while moving in the road traffic, but why not?!
That’s delightful Stephanie! Driving should be a joyful experience! why not indeed!
Being a self-confessed frustrated rally car driver, I quite enjoy driving my zippy little car about town, weaving and dodging the traffic, anticipating potential hazards and always looking for openings to slip into, feeling as I go and easing the flow of driving. I’m not an anxious driver, but after reading this I can feel that my confidence in my own skills, may actually be off-putting to others. I’m certainly not perfect and I am appreciating more and more the need to give others fair warning of my intentions. I can also feel a certain arrogance in this style of driving. Time and space are my new best friends when I drive, and this has expanded into my relationships in other areas of my life,too. By giving space to other road users, I realise I actually give myself and them more time….More time to understand my intentions, more space to make practical and considerate driving choices. A thought provoking read, thank you Jonathon.
Thank you for sharing Peta! The question is ‘Why be frustrated’? why not give rallying a go with a club for example?
When driving sideways along a frozen forest track at seventy miles an hour, you may discover that you have just the lightning reaction speeds and inner resources necessary, not forgetting razor-sharp awareness!
What is more, afterwards back on the main road, your freshly honed ‘adaptable’ driving style, which instantly puts you in tune with the situation presented, will prepare you perfectly for the unpredictability of day to day driving.
I loved the expression that you are less chatty now behind the wheel, as your presence is more important while on the road. How true!
Yes Jonathan, the modern motor car does ‘make monsters’ out of us, but that’s because we allow it with our lack of presence. Before getting my drivers license I decided to
bicycle to and from work in peak hour traffic, to really get the road rules and driver behaviour to sink in while feeling vulnerable, like the motor cyclists. Talk about terrifying! There were times I just about had my legs shaved for me by cars doing 100 kph past me as if I weren’t there…. I could feel the extreme stressed, racy, self-focussed energy of the mass of drivers, and I was in flight or fright the whole time…. nerve wracking but an excellent reality check! Then I learned to drive and put all that awareness into practice.
Nowadays I miss the rattlies that keep you in direct tactile touch with changes in the road surface – kept you alert. The manual gear changing that meant you had to be constantly feeling and aware of the engine and its responses, perceiving the topography and conditions ahead to be ready to change gears with hands and feet. The manual window winders that meant you had to be aware of what the weather was about to do, and of clouds of bugs and dusty road surfaces coming up, smokes billowing from anywhere and grass mowers spraying stones and all kinds of external environmental things you would not want coming in the windows while driving. You had to be able to focus on holding the wheel tight on the road and maintaining all your awareness while winding up the windows. The non-power steering that meant you had to be ready ahead of time to engage all your mind and muscles to keep the car out of potholes, gutters, etc, whereas now with the merest barely-conscious flick of the wheel you can divert the car and go on chatting, texting, messing around with your music settings or spacing out. There was a time when driving was a whole-body interactive sensory experience requiring conscious presence of the inside and the outside.
With the extreme comfort of modern cars and that ‘suppression of mobility and sensation’ we have a greatly increased responsibility for staying present in the absence of the many sensory cues that used to alert us…. We now have to make that extra effort to ‘be in our body’. If only people would ‘get that’, and realize how wonderful it feels to be present, considerate of others, loving and patient while driving (and at all times), it would be a very good thing!
This is so true Dianne! It seems as if all the modern technical aids have not only de-skilled the act of driving, (power steering,auto gearbox, electric windows, power brakes etc) but also have encouraged us to disconnect with our surroundings and therefore become less consciously present. Add the odd mobile phone, hi-fi, etc, etc, and we’re no longer driving a car,
we’re somewhere else entirely. As you so beautifully say,
all those things that kept us alert, have been taken away!
I enjoyed how you have related this to a ‘lack of presence’. I love driving and enjoy cars. When I am present with what I am doing or when I am driving I notice the state of my body and how it feels. I use this as a marker and check in with my body when I am driving. I stick to the speed limits, why? Again because I noticed that when I am speeding my body is anxious, I don’t like how that feels and so simply I choose not to speed. For me it doesn’t matter what the car is like and whether is is luxurious or sporty, it’s me that counts. I have noticed that the presence I hold when driving goes out as well. The way I drive, distance between vehicles, how I drive into intersections it all changes. I know this can be felt by others as you say and I know the way I drive does differ to most. I don’t want people to change the way they drive but I will hold the way I drive because driving is a sacred thing to me, it’s precious time with myself and one of the many things I love doing.
Yes Ray, I know what you are saying here. I also love driving and do a lot of it, although it took a police officer’s interest in my driving style, for me to look at how I was driving. Now I can feel the difference of when I am present with myself and courteous with other road users, I can also feel how I am not imposing on them, not rushed or anxious within myself. So I am the aware Toad, learning how my actions impact on everyone.
Thank you Ray I also love driving and when I am not present with myself nervous energy arises especially if I am driving too fast.
It really doesn’t matter what car you drive as the motion of the car is directly in tune with the driver’s motion. If we are reckless while driving then there is a recklessness that lives within. Driving is a great way to self assess presence and the many reflections offered as we move between A & B.
Which makes the quality of the journey and not the destination truly significant.
A great, playful reminder of the importance of Conscious Presence and not checking out when we are driving. How many times do we follow our nose and arrive at our destination without any recollection of how we got there and what happened along the way?
Yes I agree, it is a great revelation and I have never considered before where this attitude may come from. But it does make sense how it is ingrained into our minds by advertising and that cars are possibly manufactured with the intention to create a sense of freedom for the individual. Very interesting thought! I am certainly very familiar with that feeling and encounter it in myself from time to time. Jonathan you have raised my awareness about it and I will observe it more thoroughly from now on.
What I have found is that if I worry about a certain roundabout or a busy road junction ahead of time, I can pretty much guarantee that I will sit there for what seems like forever, continuing to get anxious but when I am present with myself, I find that there is always an opening on that busy road or roundabout.
Hello Jonathan I love what you wrote in your blog especial the sentence: “Making an effort to be more considerate by, for example, giving way and letting people out of difficult junctions seemed to have a good effect. I would like to imagine this behaviour spreading like a virus!”
When I am out and being a maniac behind the steering wheel I can tell you that being more considerate is the only why to bring me back to me – this virus is indeed infectious!!!
This sure is a common thing, road rage and I was rarely one to engage in it, however this speeding through the streets..well the law sorted me out pretty good with this one when I received 3-4 consecutive speeding fines. As well as conscious presence, as I for example knew very well what the speed limit was, it may be that we are often hoping to get in the car and be at our destination straight away. Teleport if you like. But reality is, that doesn’t happen. The fines were a BIG sign that maybe I needed to slow down…Life is not a race, and perhaps if I am always running late… Maybe it’s not that the speed limit is too low, it’s that I didn’t allow enough time to get from A to B.
Very interesting point Bek. We don’t constantly look at our watches when we catch the train or bus, so why do we expect our cars to miraculously deliver us to our destination in zero time? It seems as if sometimes it’s the CAR that’s driving the Person and not the other way around. A sporty car seems to seduce its driver, its engine saying, “Let’s go LET’S GO” and sometimes it gets the upper hand.
Oh gosh yes, I can really relate to this, it is this that we need to look at “Maybe it’s not that the speed limit is too low, it’s that I didn’t allow enough time to get from A to B.” I know from my experience if I leave enough time it feels lovely, if I don’t I rush, feel stressed, on edge get anxious and that feels horrible.
What touched me in what you wrote Jonathan is that no matter how much we might like to pretend that we are alone in ‘perfect isolation’, driving keeps reminding us that we are connected to everyone else. Perhaps this is what annoys us so?! I wonder if we drove with this awareness of connection instead of seeking to escape, we would focus on the destination much less? This switch of approach could apply to much more than just our driving.
Great point Joseph, you’ve really touched upon something here!
In spite of our sumptuous leather and polished walnut interior,
our sense of self-imposed isolation,(and superiority), is only fleeting, and we pretty soon find out that we’re in the swim with everyone else! Perhaps we’re annoyed with ourselves that we allowed ourselves to ‘buy in to’ that car advertising sales pitch about exclusivity. In reality, it’s the connection with others that aids the smooth flow of traffic and not separation and isolation.
A good example of that is the traffic in Vietnam. Few people have a car, so no exclusive bubble at all, just thousands of men and women and their scooters. I’ve never seen so many people all together on a road at any one time, somehow all getting where they need to be, going with the flow and – amazingly – with little incident. It’s like watching a giant school of fish moving gracefully and cohesively in the ocean.
I love what you have really called out here – “Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside.” and I totally agree. When I was younger, it didn’t matter what mood I was in, happy, sad, angry, nervous… once I got in my car I would turn up the music and be off, speeding and reckless driving with no regard for myself or anyone else on the road. I never thought of the impact of how I was feeling could and would affect my driving. Even though, I do recall feeling a guilt once I would arrive at my destination….of the potential to hurt myself or others. Now, I am so much more present when driving and aware of my surroundings and that has come with actually respecting and loving myself and therefore naturally having that same love for others. I’m not perfect, and can get into that individual mentality when driving, but I soon pull myself up when I notice I’m going faster than I usually would. Awesome blog thank you Jonathan.
Thank you Aimee, there’s obviously no perfection here, but I do feel that the gains to be made by attempting a more loving/considerate/caring approach will ultimately out-weigh any effort or inconvenience felt as a result of being less selfish. The rewards aren’t always immediate, but when they arrive, you certainly get a warm glow!
I remembered your blog again today Jonathan as I pulled out on the highway, I thought I’m going to watch if I start to go on ‘auto-pilot’ while driving…and where does it happen. I felt very quickly myself change getting distracted thinking of different things, and I looked down and saw I was well over the speed limit. Pulled myself up, and went back down to the speed limit, and then I realised I got drawn into all the fast cars zooming past and started speeding again. It was really interested and a great learning, that I really needed to stay with myself and what I was doing and not get drawn into what was happening around me – of course be aware but don’t lose my connection to myself in the process. No different I felt to when listening to someone who is sad, angry or hurt and not getting drawn in and changing. I look forward to driving tomorrow!
Speeding is a great indicator of our consideration of ourselves and others, you’re right! There is so much to learn here. And when it comes to speeding, if we forget what we’re doing, there’s always the helpful reminder of a speeding ticket ; ))
A great reminder Jonathan thank you.
I find when I am more present whilst driving the road opens up before me – there is always space to move where I need to be and often I will arrive ahead of time. It consistently happens but I’m always surprised…perhaps expecting that maybe one day it won’t work but it always does!
That’s great Paula, ‘Presence’ definitely seems to smooth out the shocks and allows more consistency into the driving experience. The opposite seems to be allowing others’ anger and frustration to be absorbed, with the resulting jerky driving style.
I already got 3 speeding tickets in 5 years,and make comments about the too slow drivers in front of me quiet often – out loud to myself. All that just because I’m in a hurry to get to an appointment in time. What I’m learning is to leave home earlier, give extra allowance for traffic jams and those too slow drivers on a country road where I can’t overtake. It is so much more enjoyable to gently stroll along, take in the scenery and and be able to allow those too slow drivers their own rhythm, lovingly, and it’s more loving to myself to not get into the anxiety of fearing to be late for the appointment, too.
I love this comment too. Not rushing to anything is the way to go. I love arriving with 10 minutes to spare, to anything. When I’ve cut it too fine, being stressed about being late actually feels painful! I love your approach to considering and understanding others too.
A great ‘everyday livingness’ article Jonathan.
Many Thanks Alan. I really never expected so many people to comment on it when I wrote it, as I thought that it may be too much of a mundane or prosaic sort of subject for most people. The response has been very heartwarming.
But that’s the thing, isn’t it? It is something many of us do everyday – seemingly mundane – but oh so revealing of how we are and where we’re at… a snapshot of ourselves, a microcosm of the macrocosm. So if I get into my car and check out, is this a reflection of how I am at other times of the day or in life in general? Or is my car a safe haven, a little bubble I can escape into and behave as I please? It is a great piece Jonathan, very thought provoking and thoughtful. Thank you!
Great blog, Jonathan. I remember in one of the group sessions with Serge Benhayon he made a comment that I have reflected on time and time again and it has changed the way I drive. His comment was that we drive differently when we speed down the motorway. As soon as I felt in to what he was saying I realised that I do drive in a totally different energy when I am driving fast. A racy, aggressive energy. I have since driven at different speeds on different roads, finding the tempo and rhythm that feels right for me to drive in. It’s been fun and playful, learning to listen to what is right for me rather than just getting from A to B as Floris says.
It’s so true Johnathan what you write about and unfortunately I can relate only too well. In the past I would drive around in some kind of weird, misplaced supremancy energy, in battle with the other cars on the road and I was going out to win. Thank God I now drive with way more consideration and actually choose to drive the speed limit (this is a miracle in itself believe me!). I do agree there is definitely an energy out there which I used to align to, as I felt I had no choice. I now know better and actually enjoy being a responsible,considerate driver so much more. Much less painful on the hip pocket as well!
I can relate to what you share here! I have lived a lot of my life in my own little bubble, not even aware that what I do, say, think and express has an effect on everyone around me.
Thank you Rosie for sharing that. I am sure if it was widespread knowledge that everything we say, do, and express, affects everyone else, then the roads would be much more harmonious.
Being behind the wheel is a great opportunity to be present. For years I have used driving to check out. I have had a few delivery driving jobs and so driving was my favourite part of my job because I was by myself and would checkout to music.
Nowadays I use this time to be with myself so when I reach the next client I can present all of myself to them as this is what we both deserve and the road that I have driven on has been blessed.
Well said. If we could only just enjoy driving together on ‘our’ roads and as you so beautifully discribe ‘give each other way if so needed’. Let’s just not go from A to B as a goal but as a result of an enjoyed drive.
Hello Floris, I remember not so long ago we would go ‘out for a drive’ for the sheer pleasure of enjoying the scenery and visiting new places. How things have changed!
I really enjoyed reading your blog. Jumping into the little metal box and going out into the world is something most of us do everyday, several times a day without giving it much thought. Another beautiful opportunity to observe ourselves. Thank you Johnathan.
Some great points you made here Jonathan, I can relate to what you share as there have been many times that I feel I am very present with myself but get in the car and before I know it I might be speeding or reacting to the way someone else is driving and then that stillness in my body is gone. I do make the point to be aware of this and nowadays make sure every time I am behind the wheel it is another opportunity for me to connect to that level of presence .
I Like the paragraph where you say we don’t like it when other speed past our house or our villages but how often do we speed past other people’s houses or villages. It reminded me of this;
My brother and I travelled NZ for 3 weeks in a camper van back in 2012 and we would sit in the back and yell out the windows to people as we drove past, saying silly things and ducking so the people could not see it was us and watching their reactions and their shock or fright as we did yell out the window, say something stupid or press down on our whoopy cushions… Mum and dad would tell us to stop this and we kept getting in trouble and this I didn’t like but when I considered how I would feel if I was out walking in the street and someone was yelling out of their car at me I would not feel respected or considered for whatever I may be going through at that time and it was once I felt that, I stopped what I was doing but not because mum and dad told me to but I had to feel the affects for myself by putting myself in their shoes.
That’s so true Ariel. If we do something that we know is not right or that is going to affect someone, we can’t truly understand why what we are doing is such a bad thing unless we have put ourselves into that person’s shoes. We need to feel the harm that we are doing to truly understand the impact.
Great Point to bring to my awareness Jonathon and fun blog – I too have been in the checked out car bubble driving down the highway.
I lost my licence recently for six months for excessive speed.
I was ‘running late’. Six months of being driven, getting rides, lots of walking, gave me ample opportunity to contemplate the privilege of driving. I also saw the relationship I had made between leaving with not a minute to spare and driving in tension. How great to leave with ‘enough’ time, enjoy the drive, ‘notice’ things, be gracious and arrive lovingly.
As you say Alan, driving is a privilege. I spent my working life in London, commuting-in on the railways, which,was generally good, but from time to time, carried its own burden of pain and discomfort. However, it did allow me to work/read/relax/sleep, during the journey which for me was 45 to 55 minutes. This would not have been possible at all, if I had taken the car!
Thank you Alan for bringing to awareness the consideration of “the privilege of driving”. I love this reminder – Yes, it is a privilege, rather than a function to be taken for granted to get from A to B in the shortest possible time with – “not a minute to spare and driving in tension”.
This attitude of driving being purely ‘functional’ creates further separation and more tension on the roads with other drivers all thinking they own the road they are driving on with little or no consideration for other drivers.
It’s funny isn’t how by simply jumping behind the wheel of a car that so many abandon almost immediately all the care, consideration, respect and patience that is shown to people whilst on their two feet. And I must confess that I too was guilty of this very thing before meeting Serge Benhayon. My transformation whilst behind the wheel has been amazing I now travel with in the speed limit, mostly present ( can’t say I’m perfect ) and certainly have learned patience and understanding with all drivers not to mention it has cost me a lot less.
Road karma… love it! It is certainly does make driving a much more enjoyable experience when you and all the other road users around you just flow with each other. And yes its definitely even better when we give way and let each other in.
Yes!, how absolutely vulnerable we all are to others behaviour/lack of presence on the road!
For this reason, I too choose conscious presence! I love how you write about making an effort to be more considerate, and I truly believe that there is such a thing as road-karma, as passengers of mine have been repeatedly surprised at how many other drivers also let me in!
It is a great presentation to show that if we are not present in our car it leads to obvious consequences.
So if we are not present in the human vehicle, our body, then we will be ‘not in control’ of ourselves. If we aren’t in the control seat, who is?
Thanks Jonathon I really enjoyed reading your blog and the astute understanding you have brought into question around driving behaviours and how it can be different. There does seem to be some bizarre phenomenon about being behind a wheel that I know I too can easily be part of that seems to justify the importance of me arriving and what is going on for me over another. There are many responsibilities that come with driving such as leaving adequate time to arrive without feeling the pressure to rush or if I do leave late that it is too bad as the responsibility for how I drive is still there both to myself and others. It is not even so much the speed that is the issue but the reckless energy, aggression and disregard for others while operating a large piece of metal that can do serious harm to the human frame. While the human body can show amazing capacity to heal itself and withstand some nasty accidents and diseases if hit by a car or even when one car is impacted by another the fragility of our bodies is apparent. It is worth understanding what goes on when behind a wheel if the awareness of the preciousness and fragility of myself and others is forgotten.
My feeling: how I am in the car is more honest: I am sure I know it better (arrogant). I am sure the others are all idiots, can’t drive the great way I do (comparing and judgmental). I found others are holding me back (blaming others for what is going on in my live). I like others to drive in a carefully way even I do not drive that carefully (wish others bring into my life what is needed, even I don’t). I am much aware of what others do (wrong) but not so much aware of how I drive. … and so on. In life it is easy to cover my unlovely habits by niceness – but in the car they get obvious! So thanks to the car/driving because it shows up what is covered but there. BUT: in the car I am on my own, so nobody reflects on my bad habits. Its quite dastardly to show this parts of me when nobody can tell me how uncool I am acting. I am sure I live this habits also outside the car but more or less covered, so nobody will call me out. Ouch!
I love this article and can totally relate to what Jonathon is saying. I drove checked out for most of my adult life, often I would not know how I got from A to B. Goodness knows how I am still alive. In hind sight it was actually really dangerous to myself , my passengers and other drivers.
Still to this day I have to consciously choose to drive with presence, this is an on going commitment and development. My friends now feel safe to travel in my car with me!!
Sometimes it is hard to recognize blessing in disguise as we don’t like corrections and react to it. But true corrections brings us back to our body and change the view how we perceive the world. This world is a school and there is a reflection everywhere. Thanks for sharing this as it is a reminder to be present and be in the car when I drive.
Jonathan, your comment “I say ‘fortunate’, because now I make sure that I am consciously present when driving,” struck a chord with me. When I got a speeding ticket a few years ago now, I had an opportunity to attend a workshop in the UK, rather than pay a fine, and learnt a lot about driving on UK roads. My whole attitude changed a lot, changing from driving to get wherever as fast as possible to becoming more conscious and considerate. Since attending Universal Medicine events I have become even more aware of the repercussions of my actions – and not only with regard to driving.
Thanks Jonathon for such a great blog with such an attention to detail about something most of us just do on auto pilot, holding on to bad habits and blaming every other driver for their behaviour never looking to see what part they play in the scheme of driving.
Jonathan, you have greatly captured the manner of driving. It is the same in Germany, that you have the feeling once people are sitting behind a wheel it can’t go fast enough. It is almost like the pressure of life is magnified through the car to the driver. He/She needs to catch up the delay, what eventually was allowed earlier to accomplish a task.
This is so true. I have become so aware of the attitudes on the road and my contribution to it. It is so lovely to be present and really connect with what I am doing when I drive. It is also a huge challenge to not be in reaction when faced with drivers who are in their own king of the road bubble, but a great thing to practise. Driving like we’re all in it together is fun.
Great blog Jonathon! I can remember a time when I used to sail past turn-offs I should have taken, or arrived home and had no memory of the trip I’d just made! Now, being present behind the wheel, driving is actually a far more pleasant experience – even before turning the car on I will adjust my seat, the mirrors and so forth if need be , so that I don’t find myself becoming distracted by these things once I’ve actually begun to move the car. I’ve also avoided several potentially horrendous accidents as I can really anticipate what other drivers are really going to do, even if unexpected… it is like I have an advance warning of their true intentions – and I know that if I had not been present then a very nasty accident would have likely occurred as I would not have had time to respond…
This is really lovely to read Janene! As well as avoiding accidents, you are enjoying your driving so much more, as a result of being more present.
Yes a good point to consider is where our “autopilot “is taking us!
‘As drivers we seem to inhabit an almost virtual world, with the image on our windscreens a mere projection of the reality outside’… what you are saying Jonathan is on the money and reminds me of the ‘Toxic Disinhibition’ that online trolls exhibit because they are anonymous. It is like we get behind a wheel and we are behind a screen, removed from reality. Of course, you aren’t anonymous in a car but it is though people feel like they are. I have a friend that never swears — until he is behind the wheel! and then the road rage comes out.
It’s a very interesting point Rebecca, it’s as if your friend needs the car environment to give him permission to rage, unchecked against the world. However, it’s not a very private place and his actions will become very contagious.
Driving I have found can be very exposing as to how I am being. I have to admit that in the past I have been guilty of some of these acts you have mentioned Jonathon (and still can go into the getting there quicker driver mentality) But it feels so much better when I take responsibility and stay focused and connected when I am driving.
Yes Jonathan, some great observations you make about driving. I notice how often I am distracted, particularly if I get in the car with something on my mind. Driving almost becomes an opportunity to switch off and ‘think about it’… as though that will help. What you offer at the end is gold… to drive with full presence, awareness and consideration of others is a simple thing to apply ourselves to, but the impact on everyone, and as you point out, for yourself too, is worth that commitment. It is easy to touch someone’s life, or make someone’s day by being gracious in a moment where you can easily choose otherwise.
This is a really interesting blog, in that it highlights something we don’t take notice of, even though many or most of us are in a car on a daily basis. It’s a great reminder to observe our thoughts and expression whilst driving in our incapsulated motor vehicles for it’s symbolic for more than just this.
What a great reminder to drive with presence, I love how you share that you consider everyone else who is driving as well. I sometimes observe people in their cars on the road at a juncture or something and it is incredible to see that sometimes people are left waiting for a long time before there is one driver who gives some space for the other person to join the traffic.
The road would be a much lovelier place if we all would be more considering of each other and not just ourselves and where we have to go to. A great way to start is with doing this ourselves.
Very, very awesome blog. I have often heard and felt there is so much of a correlation between how we are in and with our cars to how we live day to day in our bodies and this blog demonstrates this for me very clearly. Thank you.
When driving we actually should feel more responsible, we are driving in an incredibly dangerous weapon. But most people as I got from your blog actually act like we are in a very safe spot and can be all expressing all our frustrations, because we think we can’t be hurt.
I am still amazed at how many people drive in their cars (and jog along the road too) with earphones into both ears from their audio devices or using their mobile phone, usually not driving very well or straight along the road and still being completely oblivious of what is going on around them.
Thanks Jonathon, an enjoyable read. What strikes me is that when we sit in our cars to drive, they are extensions of us. So how we accelerate, turn corners, or reverse park is an expression of the motion within ourselves. When we disconnect our awareness, absolutely anything can happen.
Loved it Johnathon. Its true, people seem to forget about patience and courtesy on the roads. I like how you stated it in your blog. It’s like you are in your own little bubble in your car so the outside world doesn’t matter as much. Its just you, and the fact you left 15min time frame for a 30min journey so everyone else must give way to you. Not considering that the gentleman you just cut off, might be in the same boat haha
Thank you for reminding me how very easy it is to feel comfortably isolated when I am driving. Reading this article inspires me to be more energetically responsible when I am driving.
I remember as a young girl sitting in the backseat of our old cars I used to watch all the cars passing on the road and be blown away by how each car carried someone I didn’t know and would probably never meet. Plus each of these people had a world I knew nothing about. I would often wonder. Do they have families? Where are they going? What is their life like? It has been a long time since I have considered this..Thank you.
What a great blog reminding of the importance of conscious presence when driving!
I agree with your observations Jonathon Some cars are so well insulated I actually feel disconnected from my driving experience and it feels more like I am in a movie watching the scenery go past – this really requires vigilance because I cannot feel the potential dangers of driving. My experience with abusive fellow drivers is very rare (I’m not in city traffic) but when it is directed towards me I usually ‘eventually’ realize that I was actually sitting on unexpressed anger or frustration myself.
Thank you Jonathon, your blog made me smile, as I know what you write to be so true. I started a new job last year which involves quite a long daily commute, and what I too have come to notice is the way in which people drive, it has made me much more aware of myself and how I am. People flash their lights, overtake two or three cars at a time, tail gait and drive way too fast on quite dangerous curving country roads. At first I used to react to this, as in truth it feels awful, you can feel the stress, rush, intensity, disregard and pressure when people drive in such a way, but I have learnt to enjoy my drive, to be present, take my time, breath and not allow other people to put pressure on me or affect me by the way they choose to drive. Though as you share how we choose to drive has much more of an impact than we realise, the speed limits are not there only for us or to be broken, but have been put in place to protect people, the people that live there, the people in other cars, and the people in your car. Being in a car does not make you separate from life or those around you, it actually asks you to be responsible as the way you drive not only affects you but everyone.
What a great observation Jonathan. In the past i would get slight forms of ‘road rage’ although i would of course deny it :-). I feel other than not connecting to other people i was suffering (yes in hind sight it was an awful state of being) from control, wanting to control people’s behaviour when it was antisocial or dangerous or simply obstructing my way forward. As you say Jonathan we often get caught up in doing things in a way we would not want them to be done to us, such as the speeding example you mentioned.
These days i drive with conscious presence, connected to myself and the world around me and i naturally drive in a way that considers all others around me…and it is contagious! as the more i drive in this way the more i see it around me.
Thank you, Jonathan. I love the way you describe the little bubbles of isolation that we transport ourselves around in, each driver a potential or at times very real potentate in their mini kingdom. Thank God for conscious presence and a good dose of humbleness.
Thanks Jonathan, this is a great read, and can relate to what you have written… instead of speeding… the use of the mobile phone in my case… the temptation to answer a call whilst driving cost me too … now, i let it ring if i’m driving, and call the number back later..
What a wonderful exposure of how we can use something (the car) to disconnect and how we can allow ourselves to remain disconnected while in the car. I quite possibly need to do some re-imprinting to make my car a place of conscious presence. Thank you.
Yes, it is amazing how supportive driving can feel when we make our cars a place of conscious presence.
Loved this Jonathan! Your analogy to Mr toad was spot on. I have experienced myself entering my car very present with myself and in no time finding myself reacting to some event on the road. Talking with a passenger, talking hands free on the phone, mulling over some situation all of these have at one time or another found me not even slightly present with myself, my car and the outside world I am moving in. I have spent much time in Vietnam where the driving seems chaotic to those of us visiting – large volumes of traffic, no real order and a lot of horns being used. However, there is nothing chaotic to this. There is a great order to the way the Vietnamese drive and it stems from the fact they are very present when driving. They are constantly aware of other drivers and pedestrians and adjust their speed and direction as needed. There are surprising few accidents or incidents and most I have seen involve visitors who are not in rhythm with the way of the traffic – they are not truly present.
yes i agree and have experienced this too Penny in Vietnam. And thank you Jonathan, great insight, and although i no longer have a car/drive, the same insights you draw here can be applied to any mode of ‘getting about’. The key being aware of how we are walking, driving, swimming, exercising etc etc and in this, being equally aware of others doing the same activity, which allows for a spaciousness to open up between people. This is brotherhood.
Your picture of Vietnam is very illuminating Penny! It’s amazing how something so chaotic to our eyes, can in reality be well-ordered simply because everyone is so tuned in to each other.
Great points Jonathan – I notice that if I am running late for work it is very easy for me to be irritated when someone in front is driving very slowly … but now I take that as a reminder to stop and feel the internal rush and anxiety I am experiencing and take responsibility for the fact that I did not allow sufficient time to prepare for my day.
I recently drove past a cyclist who was hurling abuse at a car driver. I had no idea what had happened between them or why the cyclist thought he had the right to abuse anyone, but it felt disturbing to witness and be around. The aggression was tangible and the actions of the cyclist said more to me about his own emotional state rather than any ‘incident’. Everything we do reflects so much about us.
This seems to happen a lot in London, Vicky. There, some of the cyclists seem very ready to abuse motorists and some carry loud whistles. It seems, they feel that they occupy the moral high ground and it’s a sort of outpouring of self-righteous indignation. There are two sides to it, of course and I have noticed some buses and larger vans starting to carry stickers pointing out their blind-sides.
Wow, I really enjoyed reading your blog Jonathan. As you spoke about something so simple (and everyday) as driving a car, and yet I completely related to what you were sharing.. nodding my head along as I read. I had a ‘near miss’ accident in my car only this week and it gave me quite a fright at the time, immediately I asked myself ‘where was I?’; as in, I was driving the car of course, but I was completely unaware of the other car turning from their lane and so it was a simple awareness brought to my attention that I did not feel present with myself in that very moment.
Cherise, I find it increasingly difficult these days to be ‘looking everywhere at once’, and what is more, our cars now seem to have more ‘blind spots’ created by ‘safety features’ such as extra airbags in the windscreen pillars for example.
We just have to allow everyone their space, be considerate etc., because that will always reflect back to us.
I love this post. I was feeling pretty good about my driving etiquette, quite righteous even because I generally drive giving everyone the benefit of the doubt and reasoning that they are doing the best they can at that moment…. I rarely get angry with anyone on the road. However, how many times have I cruised straight past the place that I should be turning, instead sailing along a familiar route on auto pilot. I once arrived at my children’s school on a Saturday while setting out for the shops. Totally not present, couldn’t even remember the trip. Your post highlights that there is work to be done. Thank you.
That’s lovely Ruth, it really made me laugh. I wonder how many other permutations or possibilities there are, of setting off for A and ending up at B.
Jonathan you make so many great points about cars and driving and how we are with our vehicles. What a great reflection they are!
It is so true when driving and by simply being courteous and connecting with presence to other people who are driving can make it such a different experience.
What a great observation. It made me contemplate how we rush at speed through life unaware of the impact that we have on others as we present a nice polite persona yet inside we can be angry and having unpleasant thoughts and critiques of those around us. I feel the way we drive and the way we are in our cars is a massive reflection of how we are on the inside in our own private safe and secure world.
I shall be bringing more awareness to my driving and the road when I sit behind the wheel after reading this. Thanks Jonathon.
It is amazing how ‘blips’ in the external (snow etc) can change drivers’ behaviour. There was an accident on the road that I came past the other day and I could see ahead to two notoriously awkward junctions. Every driver on the main road began to stop to let a car out – it was like a magical rhythm of a dance weaving together, where everyone was aware of everyone else rather than the usual rush-hour attitude. The whole queue of traffic actually felt so different too.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful Stephanie, if this was normal, everyday behaviour. I have experienced this sort of magical dance before, in London of all places! It’s true that adversity seems to unite us in a number of ways.
The choice in our hands is to go out onto our roads and exacerbate road rage and the dog eat dog mentality or throw caution and habit to the wind and playfully, lovingly and respectfully connect to everyone we ‘meet’.
This is lovely Matilda! The idea of throwing caution to the wind and playfully, lovingly and respectfully connecting to all we meet, seems a bit like putting the ‘smile’ back in to driving, and casting off that horrible ‘scowl’ that had become a ‘protective mask’ whose contours had been moulded by anger and frustration over the years.
Jonathan, I love ‘putting the smile back into driving.’ I know other drivers can’t actually hear me, but when anyone gives way for me, I always say thank you and smile, as well as saluting them. It just feels more complete.
I endeavour to avoid rush hour traffic now that I don’t have to be at an office for a set time. On recent occasions when I do have to face the queues, I have been pleasantly surprised at the give and take I have experienced. It’s almost as though there is a collective responsibility to get everyone to their destination on time.
I agree Matilda – I was thinking the other day about when I used to cycle to work, and I used to hate cycling on the roads because I could feel the frustration of the drivers who have to over take me, and it felt really unsafe. And know I have learnt to drive I have found myself getting frustrated with cyclists, and perpetuating the cycle. Now I respectfully give them as much space as possible and do not get worked up about it.
It’s very true Rebecca, that we have to really experience the other, (2-wheeled) point of view by actually doing it ourselves
in order to understand the problems. Perhaps cycling should be part of the driving test?
Haha, that would be a very interesting part of the the test – but well worth the experience!
I had a similar experience with delivery trucks.
When I watched a series of programmes about delivery drivers I began to realise that we want the shelves of our supermarkets to be full; delivery drivers are only given a very small time window in which to deliver to the stores though they are traveling long distances; so I need to play my part and gracefully let them pull out to get to their destination on time.
I agree Kathie, having that level of consideration on the road is amazing. I was filling up my petrol yesterday and there was a small wait to get to a pump. As I was finishing up and walking to the station to pay, the car behind the one on my right blasted its horn because they felt the car in front wasn’t moving away fast enough. When there was room it excellerated really quickly and then skidded to a halt next to the car. The man has a young boy in the front but that didn’t stop him getting out and shouting fowl language at the car that had already driven off. It left me slightly wondering, that someone could get so angry about something so small, and yet isn’t that what road rage is – something small and at times insignificant gets blown out of proportion in the confinements of your car.
Its just snowed where I live, and the change in drivers behaviour is striking. They are more aware, more respectful of others, take their time and are less distracted by speed. The conditions outside have broken down the isolation of the metal box.Temporarily, but it offers the opportunity of a lesson in brotherhood on the road.
It’s heartwarming to read that true brotherhood is alive and well out there, once the going gets a bit challenging.
Awesome Catherine – can’t wait for it to snow here, its great that something so simple can change the behaviour of so many.
Thank you for this observation Catherine. I was out in the same snow yesterday and I too was struck by how present I had to be in those conditions. It was also apparent how there was little frustration on the road and that everyone was very aware of everyone else – respectfully so. I have to confess that this level of presence is not always the case when I am driving. A lovely reminder.
Like Catherine I have just returned from living with snow and have observed how much more careful and aware drivers are when there is a change in conditions, when there is some external event which everyone is experiencing and which as Catherine says breaks ‘down the isolation of the metal box’. Imagine the difference if that respect and awareness was there every time someone stepped into a ‘metal box’, and then the difference if those same qualities were taken into every activity in daily life!
How easy it is to choose not to take responsibility for how we are in life, hence your great example of driving without considering others, to let something else take over. The difference one person can make by choosing to be present whether driving or walking or sitting can not be under estimated. Stillness emanates and is a gift to all.
I agree that it can make all the difference, the difference between an accident or not perhaps. And this responsibility extends not just to focusing on what you are doing, but drink driving or texting/calling someone etc.
Don’t let us abandon our responsibilities in life. How we drive is a brilliant reflection on how we interact with our world.
I have noticed that in other countries, New Zealanders are notorious for their friendly natures but behind the wheel they will not let anyone else in, do very crazy overtaking and generally have a lot of awful behaviour. It is like the blog shares being in the bubble somehow lets out Mr Toad as we aren’t living true to how we are feeling, masking hurts with smiles, anger with politeness and then on the road it all comes spewing forth. I have definitely changed as a driver the more I have come to live a life that is true to what I feel and honouring that in how I express, driving becomes more relaxed and observant. Which is amazing as I used to react like crazy to others’ bad driving. Its a work in progress though!
Many years ago I too used to think that driving was a combative activity and that in order to survive, one had to ‘dish out what one received’ so to speak. I realise now that ‘by observing and not absorbing’ and trying to maintain one’s calm and caring manner, one achieves so much more. I’m convinced that each small gesture of goodwill one gives out, one receives the benefit and this goes on spreading like ripples.
I personally don’t like any distractions while driving, no music or chatter just driving. When we respect the potential cause of damage a vehicle can do it certainly commands our full attention!
Great call Vanessa -there is a huge potential cause of damage when in a vehicle. There is something so expansive and lovely about just being present in silence when driving and having full awareness of everything around us.
I noticed something today and then thought of this blog. Driving to work there is a narrow road and all the way along it at various places cars parked on either side of the road, so sometimes I have to stop behind a parked car to let another through and vice versa. What I noticed is that when another person waited to let me pass and I shone my lights to say thank you, my action was like automatic pilot with no meaning to it and I could feel I had got caught up in the ‘getting somewhere’ instead of staying present with me. It also exposed how we do things in ‘politeness’ but with no true meaning.
‘pavement rage.’ I laughed – But it’s so true, we as British people don’t apply the same level of patience that we have outside of cars to when we are inside cars. I find inside a car we are accustomed to a level a comfort and like you say lack of awareness. I find there’s an arrogance that in the protection of our cars we can do what we want and say what we want because nothing can hurt us, when quite the contrary – when everyone adopts this mindframe then the road can in fact be a dangerous place and an abusive one for that matter!
Gosh Ariana what you say is so true. It is us putting the pressure in us. When we’re caught up in the rushing-racing game (with its competitive edge) we can easily put the blame on others but this is not the case if we look at the situation with honesty.
Loved the point about the motorcyclists with a few bad eggs giving the rest a bad name. If you add conscious presence to driving you get an all round safer driving experience. The other day I was distracted on the A12 for only a second, looking at that silly tower at the Olympic park when all the traffic travelling in front of me suddenly stopped. I slammed on the brakes and stopped millimetres from the car in front. It was only the fact of the amazing modern technology of anti-lock braking systems that I didn’t plough into the wagon in front. It took a wee fright like that to make me realise my presence with driving had waned in consciousness.
I am finding these not-so gentle wake up calls are there so fast now, just one glimmer away from presence and consciousness is all it needs for the ‘reminder’ to jump into our awareness. Great you stopped Kevin!
Great that you managed to pull up in time Kevin! Among other things, it’s kind of embarrassing to plough into the back of somebody! But this just demonstrates how easy it is to lose concentration for a second, and that’s how long it takes to close the gap.
Woah, yes Kevin know that one, but your comment got me wondering about the ‘vehicle’ we ‘drive’ constantly and how much of the time I am consciously present with that. No abs, hence the bruises!
Great blog Jonathan, it made me aware of the fact that I know the feeling of driving with other cars and not with other people on the road when I am not fully present with myself. But when I am present while driving my car I can feel there is a oneness and a joy emerging in my body for being with the other drivers on the road, whether I can drive fast or slow or have to stop to give way, that does not matter. It is just the fun of being with me driving my car and enjoying the other drivers I drive with.
Thank you Nvan, I’m sure most of us would prefer driving to be a pleasurable experience, as indeed it should be. With everybody out there enjoying themselves, and the interaction with others, I can imagine the overall effect would be quite joyful.
That is so true. It is so much more fun driving in consideration of others. The main street in the village in which I live has a lot of parked cars along it. This means you often have to pull in a few times to let people drive pass. Usually there is a flash and a wave as people acknowledge you. As long as I am present and have plenty time I love this exchange on my way to work.
I love this sharing Nico – “It is just the fun of being with me driving my car and enjoying the other drivers I drive with”.
Truly a great way to be with day to day living of our life wherever we are.
It is amazing when you can feel the humanity of us all driving, cooperating, I have noticed this particularly when emergency vehicles need to get by we are experts at cooperating and knowing what to do to enable the vehicle to get through, we combine in purpose and flow is automatic.
An interesting post thank you Jonathan. I agree with what Natalie and Alison share, that it is imperative not to take on other drivers’ energy or you can start driving in a way that has you thinking ‘where did this come from?’. I have caught myself in that at times, and have to simply choose to come back to me, and that that ‘way of driving’ is not me and not how I choose to drive or be. I then return to enjoying the drive and being with me, far more enjoyable.
I’m sure there’s a parallel here Lorraine, with drinking alcohol. One can very quickly notice the change which comes about, as a result of its consumption. Similarly, the negative energy that sometimes seems to be generated in difficult traffic situations can be absorbed, if one is not present, with the resulting erosion of one’s equanimity.
Great Jonathan – another possibility for us to open up discussion on.
We are all in this together and how empowering it is to note the impact of our simplest actions. We choose. Is that impact magnifying a willingness to work together (letting someone in at a junction) or a segregation from one another (driving with a blind focus on our own needs and destination)?
I think the former choice Matilda, would always be the choice of someone in conscious presence, whereas the latter would be the choice of someone ‘distracted’ or ‘numb’, in other words, not really present. One can so easily succumb to the incredible pressures while driving these days, that it can be really challenging to maintain one’s sangfroid while making split second decisions, more appropriate to a gladiator’s arena than a suburban high street.
As we now enter a New Year, lets go out driving with love and a song in our hearts. Rather than finding faults with aggressive drivers, and road worker everywhere.
I’m absolutely with you there Mike! It’s amazing how contagious this is. One can very rapidly notice a change come about, to the point where you start laughing with joy!
I have great fun smiling and acknowledging the people who are holding stop/go signs linked to road works
My experience being on the road links to what you have shared Jonathan, because people are in their own bubble how does that justify getting worked into a frenzy behind the wheel and/or drive in a way that disturbs others? Could this just be one part of the much larger way in which human beings live with one another? With no care or consideration for those around them because there is this seeming ‘bubble’ of separation. My body might be here and another person may be across the room from me but that does not mean we are separate because I can feel something coming from them. This further confirms to me that my responsibility is my quality. Thank you.
This is great Jonathan, I can relate to what you have written here, ‘Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?’ I really don’t like it when people drive quickly down my street, especially as I have a little boy, it feels dangerous in case he runs out suddenly or the driver of the car may not see him, but I know that I have driven quickly through other people’s villages and streets, and reading your article I can now feel the irresponsibility in this, and that it is as important to drive carefully along all streets not just my own, thank you.
I can relate to what you say Rebecca… I have noticed in myself that I will drive carefully when it suits me, but If I am in a rush all my “principles’ go out the window. A selfishness takes over… showing me just how much my choice to rush can affect others!
i don’t drive that often but if i do, i still have the tendency to drive a littly bit faster that is allowed. The other day i was driving and calling a friend (handsfree ofcourse) and a police car asked me stop. I was stopped because i was driving on the left side of the highway for too long, which was not allowed. I was taken by surprise because i had never heard of such a thing but i realized that i had not been fully present, The phone call had taken over and i noticed that i cannot drive and call at the same time. Even handsfree…Like you mention, it is a distraction from being fully present. Since then, a 145 euro fine, i have made the choice to never drive and use my phone again. If i am driving, i am driving, that’s it. I have a responsibility on the road.
Reading your account Mariette, I can’t help feeling that the reason that car designers are now looking at ‘robot’ cars that drive themselves, is mainly the realisation that the driver’s workload is arduous enough on its own these days, without the temptation of using distracting gadgets like phones. This is simply because of the sheer number of cars now on the roads, and the concentration required from the drivers.
I have just been pondering on the title of your blog Jonathan, and realised how much sense it makes to me. When I am in driven mode I am distracted. Simple. I can notice if I am distracted and bring myself back to simplicity and myself, and distraction turns into being present.
The funny thing is Joan, the title came to me before I wrote the blog! I had some rather hazy thoughts about the subject, but when the title arrived, I felt that it was time to start writing!
I love this Jonathan and feel inspired from reading this – …”but when the title arrived, I felt that it was time to start writing!”
That is when we know there is something important to say and it comes from deep inside, it is like it is cooking, and then with a little nudge it suddenly emerges. A bit like a butterfly! Your blog has brought many interesting comments, Jonathan, and provides much for us to keep pondering on and explore.
I know that I used to love driving simply because of the apparent ‘freedom’ that it gave me. An escape from everyone and everything else, the open (or traffic filled) road, music to sing along loudly to, and time to myself while getting from A to B. Nowhere in this was my awareness or consideration for other people on the roads. It was all about me in my little bubble, completely regardless of the fact that I was still relating to people and still a part of something by being on the roads.
I don’t own a car at present, and travel by public transport. There is absolutely no escaping from humanity while on public transport, and I often enjoy my journeys when I connect with fellow travellers along the way. No hiding any more!
This is very interesting Rebecca, because we often think rather negatively about encounters with our fellow humans on the train or bus, but one is frequently very pleasantly surprised when striking up a conversation with complete strangers, which can often enrich the whole travelling experience. It is also interesting to observe the number of people who retreat into a different sort of bubble, namely personal electronic entertainment devices.
Very true Jonathan, we can retreat into our bubble wherever we are, and I have certainly used my personal stereo as a way of hiding too. It actually feels wonderful to allow myself out of this bubble and open and expand towards people instead of shrinking away. I now make a conscious decision not to listen to music when I’m out and about with humanity, and as a result I feel much more connected to everyone around me.
I used to be amused by how people think they are ‘in private’ in their cars: observing them picking their noses, arguing with their passengers or using gestures and language they would never use face to face. Now I am aware of what this really means I am less able to brush it off as a funny human foible. We act in this way with lack of awareness for the impact of every one of our actions and that all the stuff we do behind closed doors is part of the big picture. If we think we are getting away with anything we are in deep illusion and disregard for ourselves and humanity.
Good point, Matilda, ‘If we think we are getting away with anything we are in deep illusion and disregard for ourselves and humanity.’ If everything we do affects everyone else, then a closed door makes no difference at all.
I recently witnessed a situation Matilda, on an aeroplane while flying from Geneva to England, where an Italian family were involved in a heavy domestic dispute. They clearly believed that their language was enough of a barrier to insulate them from the world around them when in fact it was plain for everyone to see what was going on. They were clearly in deep illusion and disregard!
And what a great opportunity to accept and appreciate that none of our actions are in isolation. The Italian family’s dispute and the ripple effect of it on others would have been felt by everyone who observed it, in spite of not understanding the words being spoken.
Just like how Jonathan has observed how he and others drive and used that as a marker, we can do that with everything – the way we walk, talk, the tone of our voice, write, swim, sit down etc. Everything is a reflection.
Jonathan, your summation of the advertisers’ take on cars: “The rather mundane business of human transportation in individual capsules has always been sold to us by the manufacturers of such devices as a passport to freedom. We can become ‘masters of our own destiny’ sort of thing” makes me smile… as it is very ironic of the car industry. Because if the car is symbolic and representational of our bodies, then it is most definitely a passport to freedom! – Without the conscious presence in and with our bodies we would certainly be at the mercy of all the emotion, drama and distraction that surrounds us, rather than with the freedom to choose how we are with ourselves in the next moment.
When I see things on the road when I am driving I think of this blog and how this conversation has opened up and discussed so much that we would not have been able to do if it wasn’t written. I love coming back to this and reading the thread of what has been added. Which brings me to this and something I have noticed; that how in traffic if we are open and aware of others the traffic flows really well. If we are selfish and just think of ourselves the traffic builds up. If in traffic every one person let another car coming from a different road/route in this would make so much difference.. I have seen it happen; as more people let others in the traffic moves faster and flows more, but if people are ‘mean’ and just consider themselves the traffic builds up and comes to a stand still. I feel we could learn so much about life just from this.
This is so true Vicky! If we just think of other drivers as ourselves viewed from a different angle, then however we are towards them, we are towards ourselves. When we are considerate and help others, we are helping ourselves at the same time.
That was such a gorgeous and insightful blog Jonathan. It is so inspiring once we become more connected to ourselves and more aware of how the world flows and how, by what seems to be a slight movement or discrepancy in the way that we act we begin a chain of events that are far reaching.
If I am feeling open and gregarious the world responds – even beyond the bounds of my car – the traffic flows and the signals turn green just at the right moment to keep me flowing with the world and not against it.
It always amazes me how easy it is to pick up the energy of the driver behind me – when they are in a hurry it feels as though they have invaded my body with the same sense of ‘drivenness’ and I find my shoulders hunched. This is, of course, a choice I make – to allow that invasion. I can alternately return to myself and re-connect to God.
Beautiful Susan. I recently enjoyed a gorgeous flow in my day with a series of red traffic lights. As I left home on a dark frosty morning there was a feeling of a deep stillness and warm glow within and I drove with myself in this spaciousness. Ahead of me were a series of traffic lights glowing green in the distance and before I got to them, they had turned to a glowing warm red – it still felt like a flow, even being at a stop, The red felt like this potential of just how much more stillness is there within for us to re-claim. Every traffic light turned red on the journey and it felt like this deeper stillness was being confirmed in a further opportunity to enjoy the stop. As my destination came closer, I felt more and more expanded. I love traffic lights, whatever the colour, and use them as an opportunity to confirm me.
This is a lovely observation Stephanie and I can imagine the traffic lights taking on a benevolent quality while shepherding you along your route.
So true Matilda. Being disconnected from the truth of brotherhood is reflected in the horrible state the world and humanity is choosing to be in. Road rage to wars, any any other form of disharmony, are impossible in brotherhood
Any moment that we reduce ourselves to an individual, insular figure functioning independently of the world, we are lost, disconnected from the truth of brotherhood and the fact that everything we do, say or think has a ripple effect that touches everyone. The difference between ‘going it alone’ and ‘working in brotherhood’ is clearly and practically shared in this blog and the following comments.
I have just enjoyed a lovely a conversation with a man about driving – he was saying he just loves to get out in the car and ‘trundle around’ enjoying the driving and scenery wherever it is, even in traffic jams – So cool! I really love his use of the word ‘trundle’, it feels so open and simple with no hurry to get to anywhere – just being in the moment. Dictionary definition as a verb – ‘to roll along’.
That’s lovely Stephanie, it seems to refer back to an earlier, simpler age when people would just ‘ go out for a drive ‘ for
the sheer appreciation of it.
The other day I saw something really lovely. On my way home from work I was stuck in a traffic jam, as I moved through the jam I then saw the reason why, a car crash with one of the cars being a complete write off. I would not normally call a crash lovely! but it was what came from it that was. The people that were involved did not worry about their cars but while waiting for the police took it upon themselves to work together to get the traffic flowing as best they could. They both stood in the road with one person stopping one side of traffic so the other lot could move and vice versa, taking it in turns to make what was an unharmonious situation into a harmonious situation. This felt like true brotherhood in action and was very inspiring to see.
Thank you for sharing this Vicky. It is lovely to feel how some harmony was brought to this situation.
Vicky I would never have looked at it like that, its all too often the drama takes over but lovely to hear the coming together of people in the most unexpected ways or times. It’s great to appreciate when things like that happen as perhaps it brings perspective to the irritation many of those caught in the traffic jam may have felt.
This is quite inspiring Vicky. It demonstrates how human love, care and consideration can come to the fore, once we are outside of the metal box, and have broken the spell of the bubble.
That’s exactly what I thought, and how human love, care and consideration can change a whole situation.
Your sharing is very inspiring Vicky, and shows when people work together,even in challenging circumstances, it brings a harmonious flow for all concerned..
On occasions whilst driving down the motorway I have had the experience where a group of cars will gather across all three lanes and there are moments when everyone is perfectly contented within the configuration, no one is trying to out do anyone and there is a sense of unity. It is as though everyone is suspended in that moment and then someone decides to break away and then the energy changes.
It’s funny this…I’m sure we have all felt this before, yet never really stopped to truly feel what’s going on. What a beautiful and simple example of the world at play.
This blog and following comments represents a testimony to the simplicity and magnitude of our everyday actions and the endless opportunities to learn. Thank you.
I love your confirmation Joan – it is all in the details, our appreciation and acceptance –
“Such a simple little thing, but deeply significant”.
Driving to Bath today Jonathan, I experienced an example of how if we drive the car as we could choose to live life, that is with respect and not feeling separated from everyone else in our bubble of safety and self centredness. I was coming into the traffic near Bath, and slowed down to let a car enter the stream of traffic from a garage. Later, when signalling and waiting to turn right across another stream of traffic, a woman slowed down and let me in! My own loving energy came back to me. I felt glowing and appreciative of us both. Such a simple little thing, but deeply significant. My appointment at the hospital went really well after that!
That’s lovely to hear Joan! I too have found on many occasions, that one little moment of consideration can be paid back many times over, by received kindnesses from others.
Thank you Jonathan for this lovely reminder of the importance and joy of being present with ourselves in life. Transportation, driving and being behind the wheel and our presence with this is a great example we can all relate to. It certainly allows for more harmony and flow in everyone’s daily life not just the driver. I love the reflection of responsibility also.
Today I had two really interesting experiences driving in town today. On the way in, I was cut up by a car on approach to a roundabout, and uncharacteristically I got really ticked off about it, and it made me stop and consider what was different. I realised having my friends in the car meant that I had acted the way I perceived someone should act who was cut up – rather than being my level headed self. Then on the return journey, it was raining and dark and I was rushing. But several times on the way home, it was like I was being watched over because I would just happen to check my mirror in time, or get flashed by a car just before something unforeseen happened. It was a reminder that rushing doesn’t get me anywhere faster, but it does make me a lot less safe on the roads.
A double dose of magic, Rebecca. The joy of our responsibility and the fact that we are never alone. Thank you.
Well called Rebecca.
This sentence “It was a reminder that rushing doesn’t get me anywhere faster…..” had me pondering upon ‘rushing’ in life in general and how we harm ourselves (and others) with this energy of rushing – for example – bumping into things and other people, tripping over, emotional outbursts, more exhausted, more racy and hard in our bodies, more mental energy with long lists of ‘must do’s’ that rarely get completed without further stress and worry and many more scenarios.
Presence with our driving and anywhere in our daily living offers simplicity, harmlessness and true harmony.
Stephanie, I am often saying to myself, ‘more haste….less speed’ . When I ignore this, something usually gets broken.
That is interesting Rebecca with the ‘acting’ as you think people want you to react, behave. It is curious how we manipulate ourselves to fit in to a perceived idea of what others want from us, instead of us just being ourselves. Imagine what life would be like if we just all dropped the game playing !
Exactly Vanessa. And this manipulation isn’t reserved to the car – I have noticed it at work and school, it’s no wonder many people don’t know who they are, when who they are is always based on who they are with or the situation they are in.
This blog and the following comments reflect to me the amazing opportunities present in our everyday moments. How present we are when we are driving, how we respond to others on the road, how aware we are of our surroundings…all incredible points of reflection and invitations to take responsibility for our every little action in relationship to the big picture.
Absolutely Matilda, It is like an arena where we can choose to give out either positive or negative energy and receive from others accordingly, thus appreciating the huge difference made.
There are several areas around me with no off road parking so the residents have to leave their cars parked on the road. There is such a lovely flow with drivers letting each other through, both parties acknowledging with a raised hand or nod of the head, it makes such a difference and is so easy to do.
And boy oh boy do those who just push their way through stand out
This is one of my favourite blogs, I love coming back to it: “Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages? Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside” – brilliant, this shows how separated we can be to the consequences of our actions on other people when we are behind the wheel – because we are doing just that, being ‘behind the wheel’ instead of taking responsibility for what happens outside of the car
Very true Jessica once we burst the bubble that thinks we can do what we like behind the wheel of a car it becomes much easier to be aware that how we drive affects everyone. I am much more aware of speed limits these days, not just because of cameras, but I can feel in my body how uncomfortable it is when I start to rush or go faster and when I look at my speedometer I have gone over the speed limit.
Its so interesting isn’t it Alison – today I had an example where I was concerned that I didn’t know where I was going (I was a bit lost!) and could feel how my anxiety was affecting how I was driving (i.e. Breaking harder than usual) and therefore affecting the other people that were also on the road.
Exactly Jess, its horrible when some one pulls out in front of your car and makes you feel unsafe on the road because of their actions, but how many times have you been so focused on getting somewhere you have done the same thing. its amazing how we become detached from the consequences of our actions in a car.
Absolutely Rebecca
This is a really great perception on how people tend to change personas once behind the wheel of a car, compared to face-to-face communication. It’s almost like we can get away with acting aggressive and say and think negative things about other drivers while we are protected in our little sound-proof bubble of a car. The reality is though, that other people can feel that aggressiveness coming from your car. Jonathan has given some incredible examples of this here (like the tail-gating drivers or those drivers that you can just tell are in a hurry and almost bullying there way down the road, swerving in and out of traffic and cutting people all. This all has an effect on everyone else around them. I have been guilty myself of being impatient and saying some derogatory remark about someone driving too slow in front of me when I was late to an appointment or work. But who’s fault is that, really. I could have created more time and space for myself and taken my time, instead of waiting to the last minute to leave. This is all part of our responsibility to nurture ourselves, and then others in all that we do. We all know how much time we spend in the car, so that is a lot of opportunity to spread good intentions (like a virus as Jonathan stated).
I often find that the drivers I encounter on my travels reflect how I am and can bring awareness to whats really going on. Things like getting cut off or others being impatient with me or the journey is flowing, lights are green and others are considerate, all reflects back to me the energy I am driving in.
Yes I find that too Julie about what can be shown by the reflection of how others are with you on the road. When the not so great ones happen it gives me the reminder to change the way I am being. By choosing to be present as Josh, Jonathan and Stephanie were saying, I can change the way my journey goes from then on.
Jonathan, I love coming back to read this blog over and over – it is bringing such a deep appreciation of how much presence I can bring to my driving and how this feels in my body. Today, it has been a very damp and drizzly day with so much spray on the roads, it was quite difficult to see at times. By remaining present, I came home feeling so beautifully warm and expanded within myself and so harmonious too!
Stephanie, I know that feeling well. It’s the warm glow of a job well done, when one has been present, faced up to all the obstacles and negotiated each one successfully. When I was caught in an unexpected blizzard here a couple of years ago, I was doubtful whether I would actually make it back. By staying calm and present, (plus the help of winter tyres!) I made it home and felt marvellous afterwards!
Yes, agreed Jonathan. The power of presence is a priceless awareness to bring to our being out and about in the car. The more I re-read this blog and all the replies, I am experiencing a profound deepening of my awareness and presence generally. I find it really funny now – Every time I see a car, I am reminded of this blog and not to be self contained in a metal capsule with no presence and awareness of others……no chance of hiding away as cars are ‘in my face’ offering a great reflection all day long!
Presence has more power than we may care to think. There is a world of joy that I can now feel just by claiming this with my driving
Thank you for sharing Joshua. I feel that there is such a huge benefit to be gained, out there, from transmitting our positive energy. Not least, in reducing the ‘chore factor’ of driving.
As you say, the power of presence can be underestimated.
‘Presence has more power than we may care to think’, Absolutely Joshua.
I’m reading this on Black Friday where here in the UK the news is simply brimming with horror stories of pushing, pinching, biting and scrapping for access to perceived must-have bargain deals, under a skewed, mistaken belief of ‘my absolute right to buy’. The parallels with our attitude to road travel, speed and driving bubble behaviours are all to clear. We seem to have lost all etiquette and sense of proportion. Driving at 70mph while texting, applying lipstick, opening an obstinate on-the-go food wrapper would appear to come from the same reckless, self-centred short-termism that’s now being displayed in our shops. No regard for the sanctity of human life, no responsibility or respect for our fellow man. As one quote on the BBC from Sgt Paul Marshall, a Metropolitan Police officer, put it: “Even on #BlackFriday shoving people to the floor so you can get £20 off a Coffee Maker is still an assault.” Seems like that deep sensory awareness, perspective and connection to the outside world gets completely lost when self-centredness takes its hold.
Great comment Cathy, really exposing of how harming being in our ‘bubble of self-centredness’ is, wherever it is – on the road, in the shops, in life and our interactions with others. Brotherhood was no where is sight at these shopping events yesterday, only the attachment to material things rather than being love.
Great point Cathy – I saw that quote by Sgt Paul Marshall and it does make you think. Looking at all the images from Black Friday it’s like a frenzy that self perpetuates – what deals were those people getting? Surely nothing can justify the fighting – the anarchy? I like how you’ve connected black Friday stampedes with driving as I can see what you mean. It’s like everything gets caught up and thinks it’s my right to do what I want – regardless of the consequence for anyone else or myself. Not exactly a society that we truly want.
Fantastic example of the madness we create and the ridiculousness of the things we accept and do in our self-driven pursuits.
I totally agree Cathy, I too was amazed at the headlines – especially as black friday is suppose to be the start of a season all about love and cheer and good will -well we have started it off with a bang, and footage of people behaving worse than animals to buy items they don’t even need. It just shows how the level of politeness we all accept isn’t true, because it allows this self-centred view of the world to take over, when we are driving or presented with sales in shops – it flies out the window. We need to learn to develop something deeper and truer than politeness and niceness, something that holds so matter the situation.
What is the magic of the steel bubble with wheels and a motor? That turns the timid person into the Green Hulk monster. The worst I have found lately was a small man, a driver of a double decker bus that chased and harassed a driver that cut him off for 5 blocks using his horn and his voice out the window. The driver was like an angry bee. They say you can run away from your problems…but not your feet. The same can be said about incurring the wrath of a bus driver on a busy road in central London…no one goes anywhere fast.
Yes, we can continually run away from our problems, until they eventually build up like a pressure cooker and erupt into road rage (or anywhere rage!) and act out on others by ‘venting the spleen’. A potentially very dangerous situation driving a bus around like a formula One racing driver chasing others.
I must say sjmatson, that I find the situation where buses have to share the same road space with cars a bit puzzling to say the least. How can they run to a timetable if they get caught in traffic every few yards? In Geneva, our nearest big town, the trams and trolley buses have their own space and can do their job properly. There are still terrible traffic jams on the remaining bits of road however! Even with amazing public transport available, there are still many who take the car, and pay the price.
That sounds sensible, we do have some bus lanes in London where only they can go, but when there is traffic there is traffic!
This is so true when driving in London sjmatsonuk. Often I will see people desperately overtake me, only to meet them a few seconds later at the next traffic lights. I have witnessed and also been the victim of horrible verbal abuse because of road rage. Jonathan’s article presents some possibilities about why human decency sometimes goes out the window when it comes to driving?
A truly insightful article, Jonathan, and I feel that it is also an analogy of a much more common occurrence. When we get caught into the ‘doing’ of something we also create ‘a virtual bubble’ and become disconnected from the outside world and our behaviour becomes self-centred. I find reconnecting to how my body feels is a great way to burst the bubble and be one with what is occurring.
I have just enjoyed the most amazing conversation with a lady who was telling me about how tense she gets with driving and how her shoulders seem to end up by her ears with all the traffic in rush hour. We spoke about presence with the body and observing how the hands are on the steering wheel and how gritted the teeth may be – after a short while this lady laughed and said her shoulders felt as if they had dropped about 4 inches and she realised she can drive another way.
Beautiful sharing Stephanie, keep passing it on to everyone, it is so simple, come back to feeling our bodies.
So true Stephanie. The same can happen while sitting at the computer! I felt tension drop away in my body while reading your comment!
Since the speed camera policy on the UK roads has changed, it seems to me that there are far more people ignoring the limit and hoping that this is not one of the days when the camera is switched on.
On occasions when I have got over the shock of some of the driving, I can find myself wishing that they would get caught, watching how far they get before they have to slow down behind another vehicle before I accept that that is their choice, check my own speed, go back to my own connection with the road and appreciating what it is that warranted that speed limit
I agree Kathiefreedom, speed cameras are not quite the deterrent they once were. I find that it is easy to be judgmental on other driver’s behaviour and like you I keep reminding myself that it is their choice in how they drive and I just need to stay connected to me and let them get on with it.
Odd, isn’t it Ariana, that the apparently nicest, most balanced of people begin to judge other drivers (usually as inferior) the minute they get behind the wheel. Being consciously present, knowing I will get there ‘when I get there’ looking other drivers who give way for me in the eye and actually saying the words ‘thank you’ has put joy in my journeyings
I agree Catherine to have loving respect whilst driving opens up a whole new way to travel. Less stressful and enjoyable too. I love that eye contact and the ‘thank you’ with other drivers. Joy indeed.
I used to be a nervous driver even though I have had jobs which required a lot of driving. I put it down to me not claiming myself on the roads and feeling less, but this is no longer the case and even though there appears to be a lot more traffic on the roads, I feel more confident about being out and about.
It’s true Julie that we can become more intimidated on the roads as the number of users increases. As you say, once we claim ourselves, our confidence returns.
Awesome Julie – when I was learning to drive my instructor though I was ready to take my test 2 months after starting to drive, but due to feeling so unconfident in my ability I failed the test because I panicked. I learnt from it the second time round though 🙂
I used to be so scatty driving, with music on the whole time and no conscious presence, not focusing on what I was doing or where I was going at all, just on automatic pilot. Now I love driving with music but also really enjoy driving in silence and with awareness and conscious presence on how I am driving by feeling how my finger tips are on the steering wheel, how my body feels in the seat. It feels so much better, I feel more solid, my car feels more sturdy and solid, it feels lovely, relaxed but very focused.
After reading this article, I became aware of how I used to get so anxious about driving that I would sit forward driving around with my nose practically pressed to the windscreen, and so I have been experimenting with being able to feel my back against the seat.
I have experienced this too Rebecca, with my shoulders rolled forward in tension/anxiety. Driving is so much more enjoyable when you sit back in the chair properly!
I agree – and i can see so much more when I sit back. i noticed the other day that I had moved the seat forward while I was sitting in the car, but forgot to change the position when I drove away. So I was sat there wondering why I felt more uncomfortable and anxious driving suddenly. Then I realised I had moved my chair forward – its amazing what your position can do!
Great awareness Rebecca! I find some car seats have a distinct angle downwards towards the back of the base of the seat and this can really aggravate an old injury site on my spine, which then affects my neck with the angle of my spine pulling down towards the seat base and my legs being at un uncomfortable angle with my knees being somewhat higher than the base of my spine. Using a wedge shaped cushion or a flat folded towel towards the back half of the seat eliminates this sharp angle which supports my body and no stress is felt on my spine and neck.
I agree Stephanie. When we went to test drive my car, the first thing I tried out was how comfy the seats where and how they adjusted.
Having recently experienced a day requiring much driving around to attend to various things – with traffic heaving, roadworks all over the place and a tight schedule to keep to – I chose to be super present with myself with no pressure on being anywhere on a ‘time-line’ and to enjoy the time in the car. A beautiful way, rather than a rushed, gritted teeth experience, was how my day unfolded – arriving early at all destinations, with plenty of ‘time’ to enjoy the interactions with the various people and by the end of the day, feeling very complete with no residual tension.
Thanks Stephanie, great to read this as sometimes a day with lots of driving can be a “dread” and in the chore mentality I’ve already set it up to fail. I do love the fact of allowing space and time to arrive early and not put myself into a rush. With a couple of weeks of long drives coming up I’ll be remembering that!
Well worth it David – My body feels so lovely with the nervous system being less ‘wired’ from driving with presence.
It is really amazing how when we rush, it’s almost like time rushes with us, but when we take time to feel each moment, time slows down with us and we can find space.
Very true Rebecca. The saying, ‘time flies when you’re having fun’ is actually quite incorrect. Time only flies when you’re aimlessly flying with it. Time is actually irrelevant altogether when we are present in every moment.
Very true Rebecca, so who’s in charge of the clock? As Susie says when we do manage to stay present in every moment, time does unusual things, if we rush, it rushes with us.
I agree Rowena, your words reminded me of a quote from one of Ernest Hemingway poems “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul”. I think in life we often leave so much to chance and don’t see time, life, the way we feel and the way we perceive the world as being within our control.
This is something I have also observed Rebecca. I just need to remember it since I can still go into rushing mode and think things will get done quicker, but that is never the case and I just end up feeling stressed, uptight and still short of time. I might stick a note on my fridge door to remind me.
Sounds like a good idea Debra!
So true Rebecca when we make time to feel each moment, space expands and time slows down. I find I have more time when I am with myself in planning my journey I find that have plenty of time when I reach my destination.
Awesome Amita, the more people who can find time rather than rush, the safer the roads become.
This sounds like a perfect day Stephanie, where you have really enjoyed overcoming all the little obstacles that were placed in your way!
My car has been violently shaking for no apparent reason for a while now. We’ve had it to the mechanic several times who plugs it in and tells us the computer says no and there is nothing wrong with the car! This has been proving most annoying…. Is the solution really to throw away an otherwise fantastic car and buy a new one? That is an expensive and ridiculous solution! It was recently suggested, being that our cars are a reflection of ourselves, that there is a possibility that there is also nothing wrong with mine or my boyfriend’s bodies either and that quite simply all that is wrong is that we are pushing or driving our bodies too hard, hence the painful backs….. And the shaky car! Whilst driving home from this revelation, I was casually pondering on this as I was sitting in the London rush hour and all was fine with the car. Once I noticed the time I went into autopilot and began tensing up being bothered about what time I would get to work. I was doing 60mph and went to overtake, and the car started shaking!!! So with a smile from my all knowing heart, I went back to the pootle lane and stayed at 60mph and contemplated all that I appreciate about being me (I was on my way back from a session with a Universal Medicine practitioner!). From there, the traffic cleared up a bit and I had forgotten about being stressed about what time it was and I ended up at my usual speed of 80mph but had no pushing, no force, no tension. And surprisingly, neither did our car! How amazing is that? Pure Magic!
That’s an awesome reflection.
This morning I remembered your comment, I was aware that our car represents our body but felt after reading your comment I could feel this at a much more sensitive level after you spoke of the ‘shaking of your car’. This morning I was rushed a bit so made the choice to stop the rushing momentum in my body during the drive to where I was going by just being present (fingertips on the steering wheel) with how I was driving …turning the indicator on and changing gear. In the middle of the drive my car felt a bit rattly and I remembered your comment so focused on how I was feeling became more relaxed and my car stopped rattling … So thank you for sharing : )
It’s amazing isn’t it! Yesterday I was having a lovely day just being at home, blogging, online shopping, catching up a bit, no rushing. Then all of a sudden I saw a window of opportunity to get 4 tasks completed that are all in a similar location. But I needed a shower and 2 of the places closed in an hour. My body tensed, I rushed through my shower and strained my neck. At this point I relaxed, saw what was happening and reconnected. I moved 2 of the tasks to Monday but did still only have half an hour to get to the bank. Setting off in the car, so from 0 to 30mph, the car did its thing! I just made us laugh and from there we pootled and got to the bank with 15 mins to spare! It was brilliant! We were all up for getting a brand new car with guaranteed warranties etc but actually now we feel blessed to have a car that is so connected to us…
Amazing – your story brings a whole different dimension to driving – to all of life, the possibilities that come with taking responsibility and care of ourselves, and its affect on every thing else.
It’s interesting Rachel that our cars do seem to develop personalities. I suppose as they receive our various inputs they perform accordingly and therefore mirror to a certain extent, how we are. If we are happy and enjoying the drive we are more relaxed and our inputs, (changing gear, braking etc.) are much smoother. This feeds our sense of well-being even more and so on.
Magic indeed, the grace of God at your fingertips!
So an update is that pushing on seems to be a tough momentum to brake! We recently moved house with minimal help, took no time off work, right before Christmas….. We were totally spent! Had loads of late nights and did not maintain loving rhythms. We then pushed on with Christmas… Would you be at all surprised to know that our car has now exploded??? We are just finishing two more days of family and are then home. The car is going to the car doctors at Audi whilst we have 5 days with no work, to lovingly come back to ourselves and develop our new rhythm in our new house. A new year for a new start for each of us and our car to at last honour our feelings. Will keep you guys posted!
That’s very cool Rachael – it is so interesting how we are never told that we have a responsibility in the way that we choose to live, and that this has an impact on things around us – such as your car shaking in your example
You raise a great point Ariana, perhaps politeness isn’t as nice as we believe, for all it takes is to get into a car for it to be replaced by aggression and impatience. Perhaps politeness isn’t the answer, and something else needs to be in practice, that will allow people to be loving in any situation.
I agree Rebecca, I feel politeness is just a cover and that’s why often when people let their guard down the truth comes out, so if aggression and impatience is buried underneath it will show. People just need to start speaking the truth not be polite, speaking the truth comes with love.
I so agree with you Rebecca. How I drive is a real indication of where I’m really at. I used to say how I hated driving long distances or on busy roads but really the truth is I don’t always like what reactions I may have because they fly in the face of how I would like to believe I am. Driving can highlight how I don’t treat people equally but want them out of my way, it can highlight how I find it difficult to accept things, how i like to control things and how I prefer empty roads rather than working with others to get where we each need to get to.
Now I am more with myself and accepting of myself with others i actually find driving just a means of getting from a to b and being with other road users – it’s no longer a means of asserting my individuality!
Great points about politeness and the underlying aggression and impatience.
Your article and the comments had me reflect on the fact that we are all very intimately connected with one another – if we pay attention we can feel other people and what is going on with them, what mood they are in etc. Yet the fact that we have separate physical bodies allows us to pretend we have separate bubbles that do not affect others, although plainly everything about each of us does affect everyone around us. It seems to me that our cars are a bigger version of what our separate physical bodies provide in this way. We can have even bigger bubbles, we are focused on our own goal, to get where we want to get to, and we can consider ourselves very separate from all the other people in their own cars.
All the crazy behaviour we do witness on the road shows the wayward behaviour that can easily surface when we choose to only focus on ourselves. That is why taking care of other drivers and making contact when the situation allows it, has such a powerful impact: it allows everyone to remember that although we have great big metal boxes separating us we are all very much connected and everyone’s choice and action makes a big difference.
Beautifully expressed Golnaz. I am so enjoying reading this blog and all its comments again and again. There are deep truths in every word about life and our interconnectedness with the all, all of the time…….all from one writing about a car – a great analogy of our ‘individual capsules’ which we separate ourselves away from everyone else daily in so many ways.
I love what you say here Stephanie about our individual capsules. Yes it is easy to separate ourselves away from everybody, particularly when we are in a car yet when in it, we have the opportunity to choose to be at one with ourselves and all those we ‘meet’ on our way to our chosen destination. A blog that continues to inspire.
Super cool observation, Golnaz. That moment when we make eye contact with other drivers and all the barriers between us, represented beautifully by our cars, become insignificant.
Beautifully expressed Golnaz. I think it would be a great start if there was one day of the year set aside, when everyone had to be considerate and caring on the roads, and this was monitored by the media. You could call it ‘Give-way day’ or something, rather like red-nose day and all the others. Who knows, good manners might actually catch-on ?
That’s a good idea Jonathan – a ‘Give-way day.’ You article has made me think about how people can suddenly change when they are behind the wheel. I’ve noticed it in myself and others. Recently I have made a conscious effort to slow down. Leaving with lots of time to spare for my journey makes a huge difference. By doing this I am naturally more considerate to others and don’t mind if other cars cut in-front, or jump the queue in traffic.
Wow Golnaz this is an inspirational comment. It is so worthwhile remembering this as my job involves a lot of walking around London I can remember your words during the busy moments on Oxford Street this holiday season..
Great comment Golnaz and yes Phil, awesome reminder that we are constantly with everyone around us and to walk and live with that as our focus – that we are all together as one – is going to make it fun whilst walking around London.
There’s food for thought Golnaz, what a great thing to highlight. It’s crazy how irate people get, almost like they feel invincible in their metal bubble, like how their behaving is OK because they’re protected by it…. It’s just not the case, one car driver having road rage and being erratic is felt by all for sure. I love thinking about leaving sparkle dust tyre tracks of love for all those behind me to bathe in…. Same as footprints!
Great observation and sharing.
We could all learn from this Jonathan! Thanks for sharing your experience, I know when I don’t feel in a rush and have time to enjoy the journey it makes a huge difference to not only my driving and attitude but also to how I feel when I arrive at my destination! Driving in tension leaves me exhausted.
I agree Judy, I used to drive many miles and it left me feeling tense and exhausted trying to get somewhere. When there in no rushing about, it makes such a huge difference and I enjoy driving so much more.
Great article to read, as we all spend time in the car and reading this helps appreciate what is going on out there with everyone.To see the funny side and take more care and attention of the flow we are in and make driving a beautiful journey for ourselves, a time to be and connect with. This is in marked contrast to the rush and aggression felt on the roads as you say and something we do not want to feel.
Absolutely Tricia, every trip in the car should be regarded as quality time!
Agreed Jonathan – when I drive I can notice the difference in how I feel (either content, or anxious and racy) from when I see it as a ‘road trip’ to spend some QT (quality time) with me, in comparison to when I just want to get from A to B as soon as possible. The latter often leads to situations where I try to rush a manoeuvre or get irritated at the person in front for driving so slowly
I agree Tricia, our attitude on the roads isn’t often discussed, so this article brings a great topic to the fore.
It is very true Rebecca and something for us all to consider and then talk about, how is our drive to work, are we present? Do we take care with cyclists? all things that should just be normal but are not when we are unaware and/or not considerate.
Whilst driving down to the Sound Foundation in Frome, Somerset, today I realised there was the slightest trace of tension in my chest, a rushing type of quality. I consciously chose to let myself go deeper into my body and be super present – there was a freedom in my chest and arms which felt amazing and tension-less I enjoyed the most beautiful journey, within all the speed limits and actually arrived in less time than usual.
Beautiful Stephanie, I could feel the gentleness of your drive through your comment and it is inspiring. Looking forward to the drive to work today to continue practicing this one. Thank you.
This is definitely the way to drive into work 🙂
Yes, it makes a huge difference driving this way – how was your drive to work?!!
I do a fair amount of driving in my work, and there is always a time allowed for me to get there. I used to get quite tense and drive faster to arrive on time. Not any more, I now know that whenever I arrive, I will arrive relaxed and present, able to do my job without rush or panic. And I am hardly ever late!
Stephanie, Beverley its great to be reminded and inspired on how to approach driving and the difference that makes.
This is great Stephanie. Clearly awareness and presence is the key, not rushing against time.
Surely this is a good example Stephanie, of how simply indispensable the teachings of Universal Medicine are, when applied to everyday situations like this.
Yes, I agree with you Jonathan – Universal Medicine presentations have brought so much more awareness to my daily living.
Isn’t it awesome how with presence we can actually truly feel what we are being presented by our environments, everything feels interlinked. It’s wonderful to be aware of this. Great comment Stephanie.
And very important too Phill, great point.
Great to feel that when you are in a car you still have that connection, to the environment, and everyone else too. The way we drive is another way of expressing who we are.
This is a lovely example Stephanie. Imagine how pleasurable driving would be, if everybody adopted your technique!
That is very beautiful Stephanie, it is amazing how we can save time and a bit of petrol by easing off the accelerator and relaxing our bodies, so our driving becomes smooth, flowing and enjoyable. If we could see the wake we leave behind us when we drive, we might choose to ensure that all our journeys are undertaken with the grace that you so clearly embodied on your journey to Somerset.
Thank you Rowena – I just had a flash of a cartoon-like-image of what the “wake we leave behind” would look like if all cars being driven left a coloured trail behind them, depending on the quality of the driver and the driving in each moment. Not a pretty sight!
I felt the wake we leave behind one day as I was driving through a village early one morning. The speed limit was 30, and I was doing 40-ish. And it hit me about the energy I was leaving behind in that quiet village. Now I am working on staying present, and not leaving 40+ mile an hour energy in a 30 mile an hour area.
Yes, I really relate to the wake that I or other drivers leave behind. Today I got shouted at twice in a carpark full of Christmas shoppers. I’d left plenty of time, or so I thought, to find a parking space before an interview. I’d no idea the carparks would be full and people so frustrated. One man hadn’t seen I’d been waiting for a space and another wanted to jump in there too.
My part was definitely being worried I wouldn’t get to my interview on time and I was starting to feel a little fragile with nerves too. Being shouted at was very unnecessary and something that stayed with me all day because I had been feeling vulnerable at the time.
It got me to thinking about how I’ve been in the past, how intolerant I’ve been of other drivers and how much more understanding and loving I am as a driver.
It also got me to think about how much more considerate and loving I could still be. Today, when I met other people around the town after my interview who were so lovely, gave me a greater appreciation of how loving we can be with each other in the car and out.
That is so cool Stephanie and one that I also keep reminding myself on. It is so crazy how it can slip in and the tension starts to build and how much I start to shut down. The more I catch it and choose to be the tender, open and gentle Woman that I am the more I notice it when the old driven way slips in. My body amazes me!
Yes our bodies are amazing and show us in every little detail what is occurring. Thank you for sharing Natalie how you deal with any tension or drivenness. I nearly never read this blog today, but stopped myself from just skimming over it as I sensed that there was something that was calling my attention and worth reading. I was not wrong.
I don’t drive so much in England but the tube is forever experience of practising deeper presences and letting go of any tension you take on from everyone around you in major drive. Feels awesome when you keep to your own rhythm.
Good point Natalie. I find that people traveling on public transport, especially the tubes and trains during rush hour can suffer from their own travel rage. As you say it feels great to keep to your own rhythm and not let that tension affect you.
Wow Natalie, I can imagine how interesting it must be to travel via tube and notice all the moods/presences of your fellow travellers – whether they’re in a rush, if they’re distracted, being mindful of others etc. What an incredible study.
Yes Natalie, I experienced this last week when I was on the tube at rush hour. It felt like a stampede all around me, very full on. I really enjoyed being with me, playfully knowing my energy will affect these people, and just observing.
Thank you Stephanie for sharing this. I often feel this rushing quality in my body (and I don’t drive!) but your example of allowing yourself to go deeper into your body I will take into my day today when I notice this occurring. Our bodies are such a great sign of whether we are connected to it or not and will show us if we are disconnected with symptoms like these.
Great Shevon! I find it interesting how there are times when my mind can be so convincing that it is not possible for me to drop any deeper into my body, due to the fact I have chosen to be in a quality of rushing about!! There is more awareness now of this happening and coming to a stop, to pause, feel my feet on the floor and the gentle flow of my breath restores the connection with my body again and surprise, surprise, there is always so much deeper I can go within my body.
I know what you mean Jane, quite often you can feel the aggression from other drivers – it is a good way to practice staying with yourself. Even though there are more people on the roads than ever before, I feel more comfortable and confident when I stay with me and not feel bullied into driving faster than I want to.
its a Win Win scenario when I am present when I drive – I get to relax, my body isn’t up tight and I enjoy the journey. Others around me get to feel that and do not have to deal with another impatient, angry, annoyed driver. This is one that I have brought to public transport as well – keeping to my rhythm and not taking on the other people’s way of being to ‘deal with’ commuting and the business that goes with it – especially in London!
Very true Natalie, staying in one’s own rhythm and not taking on other peoples’ anger and frustration makes a huge difference to how I drive and the journey I have. Everything flows and I get to my destination with no effort and do not feel tired. I used to react if someone tailgated me or beeped their horn, now I know that it is their stuff and leave them to do what ever they need to do.
Talking about being present while driving reminds me how I tend to favor some activities OVER others and not to bother bringing my full self to activities I’ve judged less important…but that when I live my life valuing each thing I’m doing equally then my days flow much more smoothly, I don’t feel my usual exhaustion and I am so much more lovely to be around because I’m ME; not an agitated person unhappily trying to get through a ‘lesser’ activity with a fraction of the attention and quality I COULD be bringing to the task, to myself, and to all those around me.
I love your comment Jo – it is so true – how different I feel when I bring a consistent quality of full presence and equal-ness to any activity – the day runs smoothly and I am not exhausted by the end of it.
So true Jo, clearly some people regard driving as a ‘lesser activity’ and are therefore quite dismissive, and bordering on contemptuous about it. This could explain some of the behaviour.
What you have written here Jo is pure gold. For me I know I favor some activities over others, your comment has made me aware of how important it is to value each thing I am doing equally.
An observation from my two hour journey yesterday – a particular car was roaring and racing away at a traffic light junction leaving myself and several other cars ‘standing’. Several miles on down the road I found myself next to the same car at another traffic light junction, the driver’s frustration and tension was palpable, still revving his engine with impatience – the old story of the Tortoise and the Hare comes to mind.
I notice how there are other similar occasions that can take people out of themselves, like you point out when in the car, Jonathan. Other situations like when people are supporting their sporting team which were winning, and then right at the end, the other team just beat them. And I’ve observed when children get into some computer games, they can get very obsessed with it and lose the sense of reality. So I’m learning by observing this, to stay more with me.
I find it interesting that we often judge people by the car they drive. This shows that the car is a reflection of our body and how we drive ourselves. So often those who drive a very expensive machine with a super charged engine drive with an arrogance that they have more right to be on the road than anyone else. All outward bravado but they still have to stop at the red traffic light with everyone else.
This is such a great analogy for life. Living in a bubble with scant regard for those around us and the impact we have, as long as our patch looks OK and functions efficiently. It is not working and this sense of separation from others is one of our greatest ills.
I have driven in a lot of different countries around the world with strange and acceptable road rules. In Italy you can throw away your rear view mirror because what is behind you doesn’t matter and if your horn doesn’t work your car is not road worthy. California has a fair speed law for motorways…If, everyone is doing 90 and you are doing 70 you could get a ticket for going to slow. In America is it still legal to drive and talk on the phone…my sister has answered my Skype call while she is driving. As we grow up, we are told how the world is and how to be in this place…but when you are in a car the rules change, in your safe alter ego, steel encased bubble. Could this be, by not being who you truly are when you are not in your car?
I can remember driving and getting in and starting the engine then arriving at my destination and turning the key off and having no recollection of the journey… the scary thing was I had the music on loud and grooving away to all the songs. I’m with you, keep it focused with no distractions is the way forward and I much prefer this way of being in a car. Taking responsibility for where I am and what I’m doing is super cool.
This is so true Jonathan, I’ve noticed it too. It’s amazing how many people get behind a wheel (in their bubble) and become completely insane and aggressive! It’s a mystery to me! What I do feel is that our driving skills and the incidents we encounter en route are clear messages for us to reflect on. When I lack presence or am in a rush, or agitated I find that my driving experience will reflect that and I will be presented with exceptionally slow drivers offering me the opportunity to slow down and feel what’s really going on for me!
Hi Jonathan, I was in a situation in the car the other day where I was driving about 70miles to get to work. I got stuck in local rush hour and so was going to be a few minutes late. Once I got on the motorway, I really needed the loo but pushed on for a bit as I was late. I then had a loo break and a stretch and about 5 minutes later the whole motorway jammed as a massive crash had happened just in front of where I was. Had I not been with myself and looked after myself by stopping, I could have been in the thick of it. I couldn’t help feeling how lucky I was that my body needed the loo and that I’d listened to it where previously I would have pushed on in a blind panic that I was late for work. That was an amazingly simply example of how if you listen to your body, everything will be OK and if you don’t, anything could happen.
I love it too Tricia. It puts a new slant on a bubble car!
I like that Lorraine! It does put a new slant on a bubble car!
The car and one’s bubble is an interesting scenario and the reflection of one’s car as your body is really great to see. We can learn so much from this, thank you for a great sharing, I love it 🙂
When we think we are on our own we behave differently – we think it is OK to swear, be aggressive, lie or even deceive because we think we will get away with it. We all know this behaviour is wrong because we would never do it if we thought we were actually going to get caught out. When we are in our cars we think we are on our own, that we can treat people any way we want. But that is not the case. It is only when we see others in the same way as we see ourselves, all of the time, that we truly connect and only then do we have the harmony between us that we crave.
‘When we think we are on our own we behave differently’ – very true, Fiona, in many ways and yet even though we are on our own, we are still in the world and someone is affected by everything we do. We are never alone.
It’s an interesting and true story of how we can behave in different circumstances in our day in a state of illusion, existing in a bubble, not feeling others, let alone ourselves. Conscious presence and being connected to me helps to overcome the existence of the phenomenon that doesn’t exist.
Agreed Gill, the ‘bubble’ in the car extends everywhere into our lives when not in Conscious Presence which heightens the awareness and respect of ourselves and, equally important, to others.
I notice that many people are in their own world once they get in their car – it’s like as soon as we get behind the wheel, we leave the world behind too..
It does not take much to roll out the analogy of our behaviour on the roads to life. Just for a moment picture a road near you and imagine what it would look like if everyone using that road behaved in a way that was fully supportive and connected to each other. The simplicity and flow would be exquisite. Life is that when we dispense with the fight, struggle and avoidance of responsibility.
Johnathan I want to be on the roads you are driving with the same awareness for others and and conscious presence, it has to be a better ride! I know when I bring that to my way of living in all that I do life is more enjoyable.
Over the last couple of years my driving has improved in as much as I am now claiming my presence more on the roads – I was quite timid whilst driving and would spend months not driving or avoiding certain roads.
These days I am more confident and if I feel someone is being intimidating behind me, I stick to the speed limit I feel is correct for me and not react to the pressure to go faster.
I always liked the bumper sticker which says “If you get any closer introduce yourself”.
Our erratic behaviour on the roads is quite a mystery? Perhaps it may not be due to the glamourising of the car by the media and sales teams that causes this behaviour, but it might be that the disconnected and the “all about me attitude” that we live in gets exposed and highlighted by the way we drive. We do make life all about the individual and getting our own way! On the roads we do have to be naturally considerate of others otherwise we would crash. We have to make it about others as well as ourselves and this is what we do not like. Perhaps we are constantly being reflected our selfishness with each other on a day to basis through out driving habits? It’s not very nice is it? On the occasions when people show consideration by letting you out of a turning it feels amazing to be so supported by a stranger. Imagine if we lived like this in work and in our lives all the time, with this amount of consideration for another. The world would feel different and so would our roads.
Beautiful points Rachel! The self-centred ‘gene’ that we all seem to carry, does seem to be showcased by our driving. As you say, a certain basic level of consideration exists merely for self-preservation’s sake. If we could be less judgemental in thought and word on the roads, I think it would be a step in the right direction. There’s often a kind of ‘sink or swim’ feeling to driving which is propagated by our adversarial nature. If only we could permanently ‘lock on’ to the other person’s view on the situation, we might be able to moderate our own behaviour.
Perhaps rather then “locking on” to another person’s view on the situation which would be a good thing, it might be more powerful to connect in to our own hearts first. If we drove with more love for ourselves to begin with there would naturally be more consideration for others on the road and in life….
It’s interesting how the media always manages to glamourise the car, and as you say Jonathan, suggest it is a passport to freedom. They also rely on the advertising agencies, giving the cars personalities, this must definitely influence the way we behave in our cars or at least the way we choose our cars (to accentuate our alter egos) – might explain some of the erratic behaviour on the roads.
Yes cars are definitely given personalities which influence the behaviour of the driver and others. My first car was a Citroen 2CV which was a multi-coloured car called ‘DOLLY’ with a soft top. It didn’t go very fast and infuriated many people on the roads, but I got plenty of smiles, waves and friendly toots which was lovely to experience. My second car was a black ‘boy racer’ kind of car, and people’s response to me on the roads completely changed. Where did all the waves and smiles go?! Crazy really as I was exactly the same person, just driving a different car.
A great article Jonathan, thank you. As a pedestrian, my experience of some drivers ‘bubble effect’ is that they are choosing to indicate only when another vehicle is behind them…
Great sharing Mary! That ‘Dunkirk Spirit’ which seems to rise to the surface when the gravity of the situation demands it, is a very positive comment on humanity and is very sobering to witness. I felt the same spirit in London during the ‘Bus Bombings’ a few years back.
Loved your blog. I can relate to the protective bubble that allows the dark passenger that hides inside to come out and play, is almost like Jekyll and Hyde behind the wheel. Have your ever noticed that the better the bubble, safer, stronger, quieter and faster which normally comes at a cost it seems that as the cost rises so does the arrogance of the operator? I have discovered as you have said that courtesy on the road is contagious. I live in London and when I allow a bus to pull out, to the disapproval of someone behind me expressing their dissatisfaction with my choice with their horn…You can lead a horse to water…
I smiled when I read your comment Steve as I too have experienced the frustration of drivers behind me if I dare to let a bus in, even without the blast of a horn, you can feel the anger of the driver behind but also the gratitude of the bus driver in front. Choices, choices! Now I think about it, I enjoy overtaking a bus so that I am not behind it. Interesting how reflective this blog is and how it can be expanded out to so many things we do in life.
What a brilliant opportunity to consider and understand the impact we always have, even when we think we are working in isolation (no such thing). Thank you, Jonathan.
…’we always have an impact, even when we think we are working in isolation (no such thing)’ – Very true Matilda; isolation does not exist because no matter what we’re doing, it is having an impact on others in some way or another (be it an immediate effect or a delayed one).
Ha ha .. Peep peep (oh remembering Mr Toad!). Gosh your article really made me laugh, please write some more. It is so true what you say though, I have recently started driving again after getting a car and have been astounded at how people behave on the roads. How in queues people barge past everyone and will not look at you, they stare straight ahead because they know they are doing something wrong. It is only them in their metal bubble that matters. I definitely see the importance of being calm and staying present whilst driving which shows me how much I have changed since I last drove. Write more : )
The Mr Toad reference really made me laugh too, there is always this feeling of seeing a long road ahead winding through valleys and hills, with this maniac with menacing behaviour behind the wheel racing along to be in total denial of anyone else having a right to be on the road when they are. Yes Jonathan, I agree with Vicky write some more 🙂 :).
That’s such a good point about the way car adverts entice us to think that driving is just about us in our own little world. Thanks Jonathan for a great read.
I was discussing “road rage” with a friend of mine. He was telling me that a friend of his never gets angry in life generally, but as soon as he gets behind the wheel, he goes crazy so to speak, and gets unnecessarily angry. He was trying to defend his friend – that he wasn’t like that in life. But it made me wonder if that anger is there behind the wheel, where else could it be coming up?
Yes its funny how we change when we get into a car and feel free to display behaviour we know is inappropriate in the office, in the shops or at home. Its like we use them as venting machines, things we can vent our emotions in and not care what the effect on others might be. When you look at it in this way, cars are not cars anymore, they turn into emotional dustbins on wheels!
This blog is a timely reminder for me to give more consideration to the quality and speed of my driving, thank you Jonathan
This is a great read, Jonathan. I have even had passengers in my car getting annoyed at other people… as if they can control their actions. It’s crazy. Crazy but true… and a little bit funny. I imagine if everyone were present whilst driving, there would never be any collisions..
I agree Cheryl, I find I don’t get frustrated at other drivers, I get frustrated at my passengers, when they back seat drive or comment on my driving. But when I stop and feel that, its simply born out of an insecurity as to my ability to drive.
I have been living in the Scottish Borders for the past six years where the traffic volumes were very low and for the most part everyone drives at a steady reasonable speed, tailgating being a very rare phenomenon. A few months ago I moved from this tranquil place to Somerset which I know many view as a tranquil spot compared to much of England, however it didn’t feel tranquil after Scotland, in fact there was almost always someone tailgating me because the pace I was wanting to go did not fit in with the prevailing amount of adrenaline in drivers’ bloodstreams. I have therefore found that I have, without being aware of making the conscious choice to do so, just naturally aligned to the higher speeds in Somerset and now being tailgated has become rare here rather than being the norm.
So true Doug. I feel that people think it is okay to tailgate because their car is better than mine, it is like a really insidious car status thing I have noticed.
This is true Vicky. It’s amazing how much arrogance and comparison there is on the roads simply because of the types of cars people drive.
It is quite scary just how much we can change when we get behind the wheel, there is always traffic when we don’t want there to be but it’s often because I’ve left 5min later than I felt to. When someone is driving right up behind you the pressure of tension can certainly be felt – yet how many times have I done the same to another when I’ve in a rush!
Thank you Jonathon, some great observations on driving. I am also more aware now to stay present whilst driving, especially on long journeys. I also feel some people drive too fast especially on country roads which is statistically where most accidents occur. I learnt this fact when I had to go on a driving course for driving too fast. ( it actually was in a 30 mph zone and I was just over that).
Hi Johnathan I love the way you have related how we are in a car to life, and how we can choose to see it as our own reality bubble doing what ever we like in it, thinking we are not affecting anyone or we can be present and aware of all the other road users and everything around us. The more aware I have become of the energy around how I drive the harder it is to drive fast or go over the speed limit or accelerate past another car, because when I do I can feel what this is like in my body. I have also noticed that when someone over takes me in a hurry you can feel their frustration or anger, and in the past I would have reacted to this and driven fast as well or got agitated and started to mull over why they had to be so aggressive. It is amazing how much we can learn about someone when they get behind the wheel of their car.
Thanks Jonathan, it seems crazy that we think as individuals when we are on the road despite that there are many others drivers too. I know how we drive affects everyone around us whether we like to realise that or not, it is still the case!
Since reading this blog I have just been noticing more and more the daft and dangerous way we behave in cars, vans and great big lorries. It is as if we become completely cut off not only from other people, but from our better natures too. Thanks to connecting with Universal Medicine, I am focussing more and more on staying present while driving and not letting my attention wander. If I truly tune in to my body, I become aware of an in-built sensor that won’t allow me to tail gate another car. I mean I don’t do it walking round the supermarket with my trolly, so why do it when I am in a car?
So true Rowena! We all have in-built sensors, it’s just a question of whether we pay attention to them or not. We all have to be prudent in our driving, otherwise we would all crash!
Clearly different people have different ideas as to where the threshold lies for this. I can see distance detectors eventually being installed in cars with either audible warning or automatic speed reduction devices, especially if our roads become even more congested.
We can certainly default to acting mechanically when we are behind the wheel. For some it is a safety bubble that offers power and dominance on the road.
I love here how the choice to be present in the car can change this whole mentality.
Regardless of how others on the road might be acting. A lovely read and learning.
Jonathan I found it interesting to reflect on what you wrote about advertising and marketing of cars. This sets the foundation for most people’s relationship with their car and the expectation they have about how they should be able to drive ‘as their right’ : as if alone on some coastal highway with vistas to die for and there is not another single vehicle in sight! Head and shoulders above all others, and ‘individuality’.
This is a far cry from appreciating that you are part of the whole with all the other drivers who also have a right to share the road, knowing that you have an impact on the whole area you drive through, and understanding that your attitude and behaviour creates either a more co-operative atmosphere or more disharmony between the various drivers.
I have noticed when I am caring about other drivers and I let cars in, others start copying and a lovely co-operation starts up. Also sometimes I have noticed I have an impact on the places I drive through – but this is not consistent enough and sometimes I only remember when I read the sign “thank you for driving slowly through our village”. After reading your article, I feel inspired to pay more attention.
Also now that I get from your article and the comments how bad it is out there and I know how the way I am on the road affects everyone else, I see the responsibility I have, just like any other aspect of life. Thank you.
I love this blog, Jonathan, and how true it is, both from observations of others and of myself behind the wheel.The car does feel like a bubble of safety around us that gives us permission to do anything we like, whereas in reality it is one of the most vulnerable places on earth and requires a great deal of sensitivity and co-operation to work together successfully. What a metaphor for that we choose for ourselves even when we are not in the car!
Fantastic point Joan! If the sensitivity and diplomacy of the workplace could be translated to the driving arena, just imagine how improved that arena would become! All human interaction on the road would become enjoyable and we would all be so joyful with each other and more able to appreciate the wonderful freedom that personal transport has the potential to give. I would add that in cities like London, (where I worked for thirty years), which has amazing public transport, it seems rather selfish and confrontational for certain journeys to use the car, where there is a perfectly good alternative. This will only improve even further, once Cross-rail is finished and the current unprecedented spending on rail projects bears fruit!
I love your point Jonathan that the phenomenon seems to exist but it need not. Increasing our awareness of what is happening around us and not getting caught up in it is a great exercise to practice, when in the car and in life too.
Yes so true, these things need not exist, it just takes us to come back to ourselves and stop rushing around the planet. Being an aware and safe driver does not take the fun out of driving, it can actually add to it.
This is so true Rowena! I find I can get a lovely warm glowing feeling at times as a result of showing simple acts of consideration. When the other driver gives a small raised hand salute in acknowledgement for example, all seems well with the world! And even if they don’t it doesn’t matter because having eased the situation is its own reward!
Hi Jonathan, thank you for this great blog. It reminded me of a time I was walking along the country lanes in the lake district a few years ago. As the cars sped past I was aware of how fast most of them went and how it affected not just me but nature around me, the grass verges, the bushes and all the animal life. At the time it made me stop and consider my responsibility when driving – what speed I was going at, if I was truly present with myself and what effect I was having on everything around me. It is easy to go into auto pilot particularly on those roads we are familiar with and then the speed can creep up. In contrast everyone/thing, not just us, benefits when we stay connected when we drive.
Yes Jane, nature can provide us with a beautiful reflection of speed. There is one lane near to me which is bordered by a pheasant farm. In a nearby town peacocks often stride across the road with their very long tails behind them. Both are very different type of road users and provide a real focus for how I share the space with them, and other users.
Kathie, on the subject of other road users, when I lived in rural Bucks, I frequently used the lanes to access the myriad bridle ways while horse riding with others. These essential access points could become points of stress, especially when encountering urban-style intolerance among motorists. One day an impatient driver got too close to a horse, who responded by sitting down on the bonnet of the offending car!
Nobody was hurt, but the offending Volvo was a write-off!
Absolutely Michelle! It’s as if people have ‘gone public’ on their livingness shortcomings, and are proclaiming their ‘hurts’ from the ‘platform’ of their motor cars.
Jonathan I love the point that you make that the way we drive really does affect the people around us. You are so correct, we can feel if the driver in front of us is thinking about something else, or the person behind us is feeling impatient. A great reminder that everything we do effects another – thank you.
Great point Jonathan that somehow we feel separate from everyone else cocooned in our cars and that there is an assumption that we are not affecting everyone else with our style of driving or language behind the wheel! That is until we run into someone else and by then it is too late! There is a correlation here to every day life. Even without cars we tend to walk around thinking that we can think and say and do whatever we like and it does not affect other people (especially the things we do in private that we think no one knows about). But if everything is energy, what if everything we do, say and think affects everyone else all the time?
A good point Andrew, “Even without cars we tend to walk around thinking that we can think and say and do whatever we like and it does not affect other people (especially the things we do in private that we think no one knows about)”. Like you I am learning that what we say, think and do affects everyone else all the time.
What a great article about driving cars and conscious presence and life. A great reminder of the care needed to drive and be on the roads with the awareness of not only ourselves and people outside the cars but other drivers and where there concentration is too.
I find when driving with care and attention, enjoying the space, it all flows beautifully but when I am in a hurry, late or worried about something it often does not feel so flowing, all turns out wrong and can become quite stressful. But on getting to the other end it is beautiful to realise it was my choice how I got there.
Thank you for a great blog. I have always found it strange how news presenters refer to ‘motorists’ or ‘pedestrians’ or ‘cyclists’ as if we are some kind of different race depending on how we travel. This helps to disassociate us with the fact that we are all in this together and have a responsibility to each other however we use the roads.
That’s a great point Rebecca – it seems there are exclusive groups depending on how you travel, even though we all at some point or another have probably used all of them! It just shows how we have accepted in society that we live separately, in distinct groups, but that this is actually just our perception. This can also be applied to living in different countries – in most cases the borders are just invisible lines someone decided to draw on the Earth to mark the different territories, when in fact we are “all in this together” as you say
Very true Rebecca and each “race” has different rights on the road depending on how we travel! It certainly does create more disassociation from the fact that we are all people travelling around the planet and deserve the same respect, care and consideration regardless of our mode of transport.
Thank you Rebecca, as you say, there is a perceived ‘pecking order’ at work here. In London, where I used to work, the motor car seemed to be at the top and pedestrian bottom of this order. The cyclists, in the middle, seemed to offload their anger against the motor car, onto the hapless pedestrian, i.e. me! Crazy when you think that we are all pedestrians who also drive and use a bicycle from time to time!
Yes we seem to have a strong case of amnesia when it comes to swapping our mode of transport. When we are in a car, we forget what it is like to be a pedestrian, even though once we park and get out of our cars, we become pedestrians again! How short term is that? I am very thankful for the wisdom of Universal Medicine that has helped me join up the dots between all these things and helped me to remember what it is like for others when driving my car.
So very true, Rebecca. I’ve never really thought about how we refer to different modes of transportation and immediately identify that person by that mode, which completely strips them of being a person!
Yes that is true Rebecca and I hadn’t noticed it until you spotted it. It is a way of separating or segregating us into conflicting groups rather than pulling us together in unity.
Great point Rebecca, its like the three blind men feeling the elephant one describes the tail as a rope, a leg as a tree, and the trunk as a snake. By putting us into groups we will only ever have one perspective. This goes beyond road users, once we are separated are we not lost from each other?
This was a great read. I really liked how you described being caught speeding ‘fortunate’, it is not normally viewed as such. Years ago now, I received some speeding tickets and felt they were a great lesson, they slowed me down and I feel I have become a more aware driver as a result.
Thank you mmryan37, I got my ticket when I got caught up momentarily in the local ‘way of driving’, which has taught me a lesson. Now I try to stick more to my principles, and the speed limits, even if it ‘inconveniences’ fellow road users.
Some great observations and reflections in this blog, Jonathan. I have found my driving and how I am in the car shows me very quickly what is going on in my body if I had not already ben aware of it. Thank you for your lightness in your sharing.
Our behaviour in our cars is a micro view of how we are in life, offering remarkable opportunities for reflection.
So true Matlida, it is great to reflect on how we drive and how we live, as it is a great reflection of our livingness.
Completely agree Matilda
Well said Matilda and Jane – how we are in our cars shows us the way we are living the rest of our life.
Very well said Matilda – and the reflection we receive from the way we drive should be greatly appreciated, as it is an absolute blessing to be able to have a marker for the way we live in such a simple, everyday activity.
This is a very interesting point Jane! If each time we drove, it was like a ‘Universal Medicine Workshop’ we would have a chance to discuss the whole thing afterwards with all the other drivers with whom we had interacted during our journey. Imagine the positive effects of this, being able to resolve and find answers to all the negative experiences we had encountered! Perhaps there should be a ‘people interaction’ section included in the training schedule for new drivers. I can also imagine a 2 or 3 minute driving awareness slot on TV at peak times, just before the main news for example!
Brilliant Jonathan, you are so right – when people are in their cars it is like they are in their own worlds. I remember at school friends telling me how much the were ‘swearing at this one guy who was doing such and such on the road’… When if he/she could have heard them, they probably would not have said that to their face. It is a similar thing online, in that everyone thinks that they have their own personal virtual world, but in reality what you say online does affect other people – and so too does how you act on the road, as you have presented. Great blog
Well said Jessica. I have noticed aggression and lack of patience when I drive in London but as you say, would people swearing at people do it to their face if they were not in the bubble of their car? Good reminder about it being the same online. Great blog.
That’s so true Lorraine. When I lived in a rural county for years where everyone does know or is related to everyone I used to be aware that any road rage incident you’d be likely to bump into those people at some time. When I did have road rage it was usually when I perceived someone to have shown what I considered inconsiderate driving skills -ironic really! Quite often I used to hope that my car wouldn’t be recognised as knowing I could very likely bump into the person and this used to keep me in check.
I realised that my road rage was just showing me my level of little acceptance of others on the road and how caught up in myself I was- and how disorganised I was if I was late. Now I am able to drive just feeling how we are all together on the road and to be accepting and considerate. I am able to set off in good time and not put that pressure on myself or the other road users but enjoy the journey.
I also have the London road experience to interface with now after living in a rural environment for years. Londoners proudly profess how talking on public transport is not something they do…their preferred speaker’s platform is their vehicle. There are almost 8 million people in greater London, if only half drive, and if a quarter of them, have a Napoleon syndrome kick in when behind the wheel…that makes for 1,000,000 angry drivers… and they all love their horns. I have found that the quickest way to find them is to be curious to other drivers. There is no end of people that gladly, openly express their feelings about your actions. I enjoy driving in London being myself…being curious is infectious.
I agree Jessica – well said – the car becomes like our own little bubble, our own virtual world where anything goes and everyone else is an annoyance – I love how you link it with the online world as there are close similarities – it is easy to lose sight of reality both in the car and online. Everything we do has an impact on everyone else. Just like the butterfly flapping its wings can be felt on the other side of the world.
Well said James: “everyone else is an annoyance”, so true, it seems that when we are in our cars other vehicles are just obstacles in the way of getting from A to B – we do not consider that the person it is holding is a fellow human being.
These are really good points Jess, how much we actually live devoid of true care for other human beings when we are all here on this planet together.
I have a particularly interesting time in my car. It’s quite small, and doesn’t really comfortably go any faster than 63mph. However my insurance company pays me money back if I drive safely. This is recorded using a device installed into my car. Basically if I want to keep my insurance down, (the cost also increases if I drive like a nutter, which I never do) – I have to adhere to speed limits and take my time around corners etc… I get A LOT of people driving up behind me when I’m going the speed limit and you can really feel their frustration when they prepare to and overtake. There seems to be a big inconvenience with driving by the legal speed…
So true Jane. In the past I have also been frustrated and showed it in a not so loving way but also have awareness as I write this that it is not just gestures but thoughts too that harm. I definitely have not felt good when I have allowed myself to react to the behaviour of others.
Well said Jessica. That is a great comparison of linking the two virtual worlds: the internet and inside a car and the impact we have on others. Great blog, Jonathan
This is so true, someone did this to me the other day and it felt really ugly and I thought at the time if we were not in cars but walking in the street would they do the same thing?
Great comment Jess, we do behave so differently if we think other people can’t hear or see us. Its very bizarre really when one ponders on it, as when we are in close proximity with other people, the tendency then is to follow the crowd and not stand out, whereas road rage by its very nature makes us the centre of attention.
I agree Rowena – it is strange how we ‘behave so differently if we think other people can’t hear or see us’, aside from comments in the car, there is gossiping and foul mouthing people behind their backs – but deep down we know it does not feel right, let alone loving to treat others in this way. I also know from past experience how I can feel when someone has been bad mouthing me behind my back as I can sense/ feel it – like something does not feel quite right.
I have the same type of device as you in my car Cheryl – I can never understand as a new driver how people overtook me when I was adhering to the speed limit! And you’re right, you can feel the frustration for example from tailgating, which just means that I end up going slower to make a bigger distance from the car in front in case I have to stop – so road rage works in theory, not in practice
Yes it is quite bizarre Jane. How our behaviour changes when we get into a gold fish bowl! It seems that the more isolated we become from each other, the worse our behaviour. We know that we don’t have to face the person or the real consequence of our behaviour because we can speed away from them and our ignorance. Can you imagine behaving like that in the supermarket with your trolly?! I have a feeling we would be shown the door!
I like your reminder Jessica, that there is a similar experience of feeling anonymous in our cars as online. I am beginning to really feel how EVERYTHING WE DO EFFECTS EVERYONE, even invisible intentions and thoughts, and this is a big dose of the responsibility we each hold but so often don’t want to face!
…but holding an awareness of this connectedness I can lend myself much more to a harmonious flow; in traffic, on the web and in the world, as I know I am working WITH everyone not struggling on my own in a sea of separate individuals.
Great point, how we’re convinced we’re safe within the bubble of our own car to act as we wish without any respect to others in a way in which we would never do face to face! How absurd is that? Absolutely no consistency or true care for all.
There’s some great points expressed here with regards to tailgating. There was recently a law introduced in the UK where officers can give on-the-spot fines to drivers who tailgate. A large UK motoring company stated that at least a third of motorists would be at risk of a fine. I would say that statement matches my experiences on the road.
I realised that a few years back on listening to some recordings that I was just doing too much in one go! But I love the image of you rocking in your car!!!
We could all do with being more caring in our driving, and considerate of the other human beings that are also on the roads. What we don’t deal with often comes out when behind the wheel of a car. I try my best to remember that when I see other road users driving carelessly.
As you say Ariana, it would be truly wonderful if somehow we could remove the ‘Adversarial’ element from driving. I think that when everyone is on their way to an obviously enjoyable event like an air show for example, there seems to be far more good will around, than when driving to work.
Ariana, I agree with you there is a way to drive, live and be in a harmonious flow with everyone else. It reminds me of being in Vietnam where it is from 1st sight chaos on the roads, especially in the bigger cities with motor bikes everywhere but people almost in sync weave around each other without colliding. Perhaps one of the reasons they are able to hold this connection is because they are on motorbikes not cut off encapsulated in a car, its fascinating to observe how they do not have that many accidents!
I agree Stephen, its amazing how completely normal nice people can become maniacs behind the wheel.
I know right…I am so aware these days of the tension I allow myself to adopt when I am driving. I have found that driving faster creates more attention, closer to the person in front, “swervy” round corners…rushing to get somewhere all massively affect my feelings when driving. It is amazing to be so aware. But the reality is that when I take my foot off the gas, watch my mirrors, slow down I am actually feeling like I am slowing down in my life. I now use my driving as a way to really feel what’s going on with me. If I set off I can feel my tension because of the way I behave and I then go back to basics, driving slower and being really careful…10-to-2 and everything. If I feel like I have “zoned” out in my driving I can realise this and again regain my presence with a few simple acts…all leading towards arriving comfortably and calmly at the other end…well I am still learning right, as I am still not a true lover of commuter traffic jams and school runs 🙂
So true Stephen, we all should be more careful and be present with our driving. It is so easy to get behind a wheel sit down and go into auto pilot, this is when we go wrong and stress aggression can come out as we lose our presence.
What you remind me of here Ariana is being in Vietnam. There was this flow and harmony, this allowing, it was beautiful to watch them all on their scooters. Maybe we allow the little bubble of the car to stop us experiencing this connection.
Hi Jonathan you make some great observations with regards to driving. I work in a busy high street in London and it is very common for people to blow their horns often…. this led to a discussion amongst my colleagues about the energy and aggression felt in the way people blow their horns and that in some countries the horn is used as a warning as supposed to being angry.
This is very true Julie, I noticed that In some Indian towns for example, people seemed to be saying, (with their horns), “Look out, I’m coming through” and thus there would be an almost unbroken cacophony of sound. In the U.K. people used to hoot, only as a last resort, but I think that is changing as we see traffic levels increase, and peoples’ patience becomes more tested.
It is true Julie, and it is quite something when people respond in a way that is harmonious and respectful of another rather than the aggression. There is no need for aggression whatsoever.
The other day my partner and i came home driving at the same time so he drove behind me just before we stopped at our house. He said i knew that it was you driving in the car because no body else would be driving that way. Usually the way i drive is that i take my time and drive with a rhythm which feels right to my body. At a time when i didn’t manage time well and have to hurry driving to work this feels really awful and my body feels under pressure and pushed. I even realized to listen to what speed my body wants to drive at times, too fast doesn’t feel right. As i don’t drive so fast i am able to take other cars into consideration and then there is a flow which feels great. To connect to the cars around me and to drive with care feels much better than to speed to go quickly from A to B and then i am not reacting if something happens i have not expected.
Beautyful blog Jonathan.
Jonathan. A great blog on peoples’ driving habits. I used to think when I got in the car, I was driving a chieftain tank. It only takes one minute to lose concentration that things happen. I have learnt over the year that it is not worth having road rage, as we know things have happened in the past because of it. Let the speeders get caught, light jumpers can be one of the worst, and they cause the most accidents and fatalities. Set off on your journey with plenty of time to get to your destination. By speeding etc you only save about 7 minutes to your destination. Arrive safely and in one piece. You only have one life, so value it, and drive safely, and have consideration for others around you.
Great blog Jonathan, you raise very interesting points here. I haven’t thought about the cars advertising campaigns and its effects on human behaviour behind the wheels. Thank you for highlighting this point.
Thank you Priscilla for expressing this point about advertising and its effect on us (not only behind the wheel) – I am only now really appreciating what Jonathan has exposed here on knowingly using a fantasy to manipulate people with – how programmed we all are, without realising it –
‘Have you ever noticed that in advertising material the featured vehicle is always alone on some coastal highway with vistas to die for and there is not another single vehicle in sight! This clever piece of marketing seems to try to tell us that this particular car stands alone, head and shoulders above all others, bestowing its individuality upon its driver and magically taking us away from the Hurly-Burly of traffic to some far flung Shangri-la of our imagination’.
Top blog Jonathon. As a professional London Bus driver I am well aware of people’s attitudes and behaviours when they get behind the steering wheel and I have worked very hard at not letting their actions affect me, but it’s usually the smallest and stupidest things that happen that get me to react, so thank you for reminding me to work deeper on being present with myself.
Great blog Jonathan and as the wife of Tim Bowyer who has been driving me around for 30 years I do not often take the car but when I do I realise how checked out others are on the road and how easy it is for me to do the same. I have found a way to stay present and that is feeling my toes and then placing my finger tips on the steering wheel super gently and taking them off. Placing the palm of my hand on the centre of the steering wheel in deep Appreciation to our beautiful car Tommy 2. Catching myself if I feel a grabbing or tension in my hand and constantly checking all mirrors. I notice there is an inner compass in my body that if I listen it keeps me on track. I used to hate driving and now its become easier because of these tiny changes. I do drive to Somerset and back and for me that is my test as its over 3 hours. I am amazed how stress free the journeys have become since I check in with my body and stay focused, making sure my mind is not off elsewhere.
Bina this is such a refreshing description of driving with presence. In the past I was a tyrant on the road, harshly judging other drivers for doing ‘the wrong thing’. Naturally this constantly stressed my body. Driving as you describe delivers a totally different experience and my body and everyone else is grateful.
Tim, you have my most profound respect and admiration as a London bus driver. If there’s one place on the planet where you can be really tested, it’s there and doing that job.
When I worked in London, I never ceased to be amazed at the coolness and calmness of the bus drivers, and just to add to your burden, you frequently have to collect the fares as well these days! What a great opportunity though, to put into action the teachings of Universal Medicine!
These days I too am a silent driver, Jonathan I warn any passengers I have that I don’t talk, nor do I look at them.
In fact if there are 2 passengers I suggest that they sit in the back together to talk and leave me to drive.
It’s interesting – that notion that once we are in a car, it is ‘me against the world’. When I ride the tube I used to feel very separate from the other commuters, but recently I feel more of a unity. We might be going to different locations, but we are travelling together.
The tube, as you have observed can appear as cold and anonymous, but given a mini-emergency, and that ‘Dunkirk Spirit’ of brotherhood quickly comes to the surface. This is something that I have witnessed in London.
A brilliant observation that I’ll admit have not really taken notice of before. One of those just assumed ‘norms’ of life which when laid out as you have shared highlights just how abnormal it really is! When we get into a space of connection with ourselves what is not of that same quaility gets exposed. It makes me wonder what else I have just accepted as a norm in life.
Great blog Jonathan. My tendency has been to drift off and think about other things when driving, day dreaming, going into auto pilot but since I have attended the Universal Medicine workshops and have been working on staying present I have noticed this has greatly improved and I now catch myself quickly if this starts and come back to my body by feeling my hands on the steering wheel, my feet on the peddles or my body in the seat and I’m back present.
Thanks Ruth, I too felt just like that after attending the retreat last year. Modern cars can sometimes be just too comfortable
for our own good, anaesthetising our reactions and dulling our senses.
I have really enjoyed reading this blog Jonathan. I am also fascinated by my, and others behaviour in our cars, how we drive and relate to others in and outside the car and even just how we maintain and what we keep in our cars. Your title is great because this has to be the most vital point about driving….being consistently present. Thanks for bringing this ‘to print’
Thank you Elaine, I feel it seems to have touched a nerve with everyone because it is something that we all do.
Well observed Jonathon. I see an analogy here for how I was and occasionally now, living my life, speeding through my days and weeks, sometimes being ” driven to distraction ” until, I get ‘pulled up’, in my case by my body telling me I am going too fast !
Moment by moment conscious presence is the answer for all.
Hi Jonathan,
Thanks for your blog!
driving my car is a reflection of how I started my day. If I don’t take time to connect with myself and be present in everything I do, mostly I will be agitated and say things like ‘Hurry up!’ etc.
If I do take time and am with myself, the world is a different place! I can be in a traffic jam and take the time to relax my body, look around me and connect with other drivers and contemplate, so when I arrive at my destination I am not drained and can be present.
As you say Delorme, even apparently inconvenient hold-ups
can be put to good use!
This is such a great expose. I love the explanation of us becoming detached from everything around us once we enter our shielded motor vehicle. I have never stopped to see this as such but it is so true. We become encapsulated in our own private bubbles on a journey from a to b. Learning to be present with oneself in all that one does is a blessing for everyone around, particularly behind the wheel where road rage looms and accidents occur frequently. In a society where the mobile phone rules it is especially necessary to be able to stay with oneself and not be distracted. Just the other day I saw a short video about a young model who looked away for a moment to check her text whilst she was driving. She now has a scar running right across her face, is blind in one eye, cannot smell, cannot cry and has a life so much more different than that which she enjoyed before.
Universal Medicine teaches conscious prescense as a key tool in our everyday Livingness. With this heightened awareness less accidents and harm are likely to occur and that affects us all in turn.
Great blog Jonathan, I find it so much more enjoyable to drive more slowly and to take every opportunity to let people in wanting to join the stream. The secret seems to be to allow plenty of extra time for a journey, then I can arrive there in the same or even better state than I started the journey rather than arriving in a heightened nervous state.
Hello Doug, my father in law used to say frequently,
” It’s better to arrive late in this world, than early in the next”,
which always made me smile. I suppose one could always use the bus, as a comparison or yardstick, with all its stops and hold-ups. If one can beat the bus timetable, then one is ahead of the game so to speak.
Thanks for the amazing blog and open sharing Jonathan. I love how you bring in how we all feel the energy the drivers of cars have and how that influences us. I used to feel very rushed when someone behind me would try to make me drive faster by ‘pushing’ or driving very close behind me. Feeling their frustration and anger would make me go faster than I felt to go. But like you bring in we all have our own responsibility in this. So now when this happens I take a deep breath and connect to my body and drive my own speed. We all leave a trail of energy with our driving so thank you for reminding us how can choose to be present and offer that to every other driver. .
Jonathan its so true – from the moment we look at the car adverts its all about freedom, an open road for us to do as we please – yet with that there is no consideration for anyone else. I wonder how well an advert would do for a car stuck in a traffic jam with everyone around beeping and shouting! No wonder its easy to get on the road and think we “own” the road and we are “more important”. I’ll enjoy seeing how my driving is over the coming days!
Thank you Jonathan, you have inspired me to reconsider how I am when I travel in my car.
A great piece of writing, Jonathan, thank you and I love the title. I have done or felt everything that you describe, and knowing our propensity to not be present with ourselves while driving I have actually wondered why there are not more car accidents. A great reflection of how we are with ourselves and treat each other.
Great points you make Jonathan and like Beverley I am inspired to focus on my journey to work. When I am going on a longer journey I prepare myself, allow plenty of time and have markers to help me maintain conscious presence but I have been aware recently that I do not do this for regular shorter journeys. I recently drove home on a horrible rainy evening on a dual carriageway thinking there must be something wrong with my eyes because I couldn’t see very well, to discover when I turned off that I had been driving with just side lights on.
Hello Helen, I feel that the combination of darkness and heavy rain can create conditions when one just feels that one should be at home in front of the fire! As I get older, I find rain and headlights on the windscreen increasingly difficult to deal with.
Definitely Jonathan, ‘As I get older, I find rain and headlights on the windscreen increasingly difficult to deal with’. I try to avoid driving in the dark as much as possible because of this. When I have to go out in the above conditions, I simply have to allow myself much more time, be really present, and be gentle with myself. Since we have many older drivers on the road, I wonder how many equally find these conditions more challenging?
I recently asked myself why I didn’t like motorway driving, even when the roads are clear, and had to accept that it was simply the fact that it showed my resistance to being present, because it is hard to distract yourself when driving on the motorway, you cant get up and got go and do things.
Thank you Catherine. You have reminded me of travelling across France in a double-decker TGV at 180 mph, getting out of my seat and casually buying a drink and a sandwich. Almost all my concentration being taken up by the book I was reading , What a way to travel!
I can remember in my early days of driving, no roundabouts, few traffic lights and at cross-roads everyone had to pause and pay attention before crossing the junction when it was safe. No ABS braking systems so driving had to be more gentle as slamming on the brakes could result in an uncontrollable skid. No seat-belts so nothing to stop you crashing into the steering wheel and windscreen if you braked too suddenly. Perhaps ‘progress’ can insulate us from the world around us and can take responsibility away from us and put it in a machine and expect it to keep us safe however we treat it.
Hello Mary, I feel that technological advances can help safety as long as they are not allowed to erode our self-chosen safety margins. Brakes may pull us up quicker, but that shouldn’t be an excuse to get too close. De-skilling the act of driving using on-board technology is all very well but it shouldn’t dull our awareness.
Hi Jonathan, interesting subject. I am still a motor cyclist and very mindful. I tend to ride slowly but on occasions I can get a bit racy, especially if I finish work later than expected and late in the evening and get frustrated because of it. Without a shell, I am very aware of my vulnerability so I constantly remind myself how impossible it is to safely bring the scooter to a stop when riding too fast, even with two wheels on the front.
Hello Alexandre, I am still a motorcyclist too! Smitten at the age of 13 and legalised at 16. I’ve just acquired an elderly BMW from a neighbour who was clearing his garage. There is a 34 year gap since last riding and I am aware of how things have changed. One rides so defensively, sensing a potential accident every few minutes when on busy roads! The lack of protection is very sobering and as a result, one’s awareness is razor-sharp. I’d love everyone to experience 2 wheels. In France there is wonderful brotherhood between bikers, who without exception, give a warm salute to each other at every encounter!
A very thought provoking article, and the comments are revealing too.
I noticed a couple of years ago that slowing everything down in the car transforms the experience. When I’m late and time is pressing that edginess kicks in and I’m rushed, people are in the way, the lights always go red and the frustration builds. Leaving 5 minutes earlier or not having a deadline and I lean back into the headrest, relax, allow others to pull out, leave plenty of space behind other cars and it actually becomes an opportunity to connect with the other road users, to be generous and it costs nothing.
And there is always a payback in that I feel rested and relaxed at the end of the journey rather than that awful feeling of ‘phew, just made it’.
Great blog Jonathan thank you for sharing – I can totally relate to feeling like an isolated bubble in the car watching the world go by with a slight feeling of detachment from it – I can easily get worked up about slow inconsiderate drivers but what do I achieve in the end – not much, simply a body that is tense, whereas when I take my time and am in no rush I generally do not mind how others are driving! It is a great marker usually if I am being impatient, it is because I am running late so why does that then make it everyone’s problem. I have found sometimes when I am in a rush I get caught in traffic or by a red light and then am thankful for being given the space to come back to me and not focus on where I am trying to get to and simply enjoy the journey.
I agree with what you share here James, ‘when I take my time and am in no rush I generally do not mind how others are driving! It is a great marker usually if I am being impatient, it is because I am running late so why does that then make it everyone’s problem’. Great point. Allowing plenty of time, along with conscious presence is paramount.
What is also interesting is that it means I have to take responsibility for where I am at and the choices I have made rather than simply blaming them on other people which is the short term easy option but doesn’t get me anywhere except frustrated!
Great blog Jonathan. And I felt a serious ouch while reading it. I love driving and I recognised that bubble you speak of where you feel like you’re in your own world and somehow cut off and disconnected from the world around you. I find it very uncomfortable to drive with a window down when I drive at 70mph and your question on this gave me pause, how does it really feel to those around when I drive this fast or faster even. I do notice the change of pace when I move onto a motorway and how racy initially it feels, but then a few miles down the road, somehow I’m blended in. Your article has given me the opportunity to feel how I drive and how I consider the car my space, a place for me to roam and be free but often I don’t truly consider the impact on those around. So one for me to look at as I drive, to be more consistently present. The truth is I do know that this makes a difference but I can often slip back into my bubble so nice reminder this morning to take care of everything and be more aware, thank you.
Yes Monica, I have noticed that on some roads that I join, its like I suddenly have gotten into a fast flowing river and can easily get carried along whilst tangibly feeling the anxiousness of drivers as they commute to work. A great opportunity to stay present with me and not get ‘carried’ along.
‘As drivers we seem to inhabit an almost virtual world…….disconnected with what is happening outside’. Maybe as individuals we also do this as we go about our daily business, only looking after ourselves in our potential disregard for our fellow humans. Focussing only on our own lives disconnects us from what is really happening out in the world, the increasing disease and illness, the obesity epidemic, the upsurge of porn, the addictions – to Internet and video games, drugs, drink and other numbing substances. The list could go on. Taking responsibility for ourselves – not just when behind the wheel of a car – will have a knock-on effect on those around us. Since attending Universal Medicine events I am much more ‘consciously present’ and considerate, not just when I am driving.
Great Blog Jonathan – written with simplicity and humour which has me wanting to read it through several times to enjoy and feel the truth and depth you are expressing with here. More conscious presence would certainly bring less ‘Mr Toad’s” as referred to in ‘The Wind in the Willows’, driving on the roads.
Jonathan great sharing. It’s true what you sure that “Nobody likes people speeding past their house or through their village, but how often do we speed past other peoples’ houses or villages?”, I can put my hand up for this, I know I have done this many time and you are right to say this usually happens when we are not present. I have also learnt the hard way with fines, that we should stay being present, as there are good reasons to stay with the limit for that area. Especially when pedestrians are around, also to respect everyone else using the roads.
I agree Amita, I have found myself justifying going a little over the speed limit because I have to be somewhere etc, but thats all about me and never about other road users or pedestrians etc. Driving with a sense of responsibility to others is crucial.
Thank you for writing, Jonathan. I really enjoyed your blog and your observations on our behaviour when we drive are so true. “Behind the wheel we somehow become disconnected with what is happening outside.”
A great article Jonathan, you raise some great points and have inspired me to take my focus to my journey to work. This journey is very short and one that I can arrive from and not always remember parts of it. A huge exposure of my lack of presence behind the wheel. Thank you for bringing this to focus.
and much safer for everyone else on the road Jonathan ;0) Thank you for sharing your lighthearted observations of our world.
Hi Jonathan, this is a great subject. A short time ago I was on the A12 and I saw in my rearview mirror a car flying up behind me doing what could have been 100mph in a 50mph zone I moved to get out of his way but he hadn’t anticipated this and tried to take me on the inside, he swerved back narrowly missing me with a screech of wheels. I started yelling ‘MANIAC’ and he swerved as though he was going to hit me. I then looked at the guy and he was in an uncontrollable rage he literally wanted to kill me and at this stage his car was inches from mine both doing about 60. Well my heart was racing and I saw an off ramp coming up, giving no hint that I was going to take it till the very last second I then swerved off and he and his rage went sailing on to terrorise someone else. I couldn’t believe the amount of intense rage that was directed at me until it suddenly dawned on me. This was an accumulation of all the not so severe road rage I had dished out over time coming back at me in one foul swoop. All is energy and what I put out was coming straight back. I learnt a valuable lesson that day and I’m a lot more aware of my reactions to other drivers when I’m behind the wheel.
Gosh Kevin, your comment is a blog in itself! The amazing imagery you paint in your scene, seems like something out of a film car-chase as seen in ‘The Sweeney’, on ITV during the seventies! It’s true that in the hands of somebody experiencing such rage, a car could be considered a lethal weapon! Imagine the energy that he was sending out to other road users!
Crikey – I agree Jonathan – what a story and great lesson.
I have recently attended my third ‘driver awareness course’. Speeding appears to be an issue for me. It is in the bubble and isolation of my car that my choices in life are revealed to me. I race, I hurry, I rush – all with an anxiousness about what I am and am not doing in life and often, what still needs to be done. The most recent of my ‘driver awareness courses’ was beautifully delivered by two retired policeman who humbly and respectfully shared the impact on everyone else of my sort of behaviour on the roads. Whilst their message and desired outcome was clear: to encourage people to choose to reduce their speed, I came away not only with that but also a workable-with commitment to bring my emerging responsibility to every aspect of my life and to embrace moments I am driving as part of my own gorgeous self-awareness and reflection plan. Thank you, Jonathan, for your super timely article.
Beautifully expressed Matilda! I think that driving has an image problem and is regarded by many as just too mundane and little more than just getting from A to B. Thus we try to attach ourselves to more ‘worthy’ and ‘important’ things and become distracted. Perhaps we should regard each sortie as a mini-adventure with its own evolving narrative. Other road-users become players in this mini-drama and as we observe, we can start to predict behaviour and react accordingly. I frequently find myself talking out loud and doing a sort of commentary,
which can be quite de-stressing and fun!
Jonathan what truth you speak! Practising conscious presence behind the wheel is a great way to connect with yourself but also to leave the inspiration everywhere you drive for others to do the same.
I am still laughing about opening the electric window at 70 miles an hour!
Superb blog Jonathan – also I am aware how my habit has been to ‘compress time’ before I have to drive somewhere, so rather than drive in my body in full accord with the speed limits, other drivers’ behaviours – I would set it up to have to ‘drive on the edge’. The ‘cocooning’ effect you describe, comfortable car, 70 or 80 mph, surroundings more or less unreal on the other side of the windscreen really calls for conscious presence. More to examine in this whole area. Thank you.
I agree Alan, I have done the same all my life, for example allowing only 2 hours for a 2 hour journey then arriving is a stressed and tense state. I try not to do this now, but I still often manage to slip back into it and when I do it can throw out my rhythm for the whole day.
Very true Alan. Comfortable cars with advanced technology need less input from the driver and can falsely inflate our confidence, (and our egos) to the point where our safety margins can start to be eroded.
What a lovely and light blog Jonathan. It speaks on so many levels about presence as I was laughing with a friend jet recently about the potential a lack of presence might have in the kitchen…although perhaps not a laughing matter. Nevertheless I agree that as soon as our presence is off we are acutely numbed to the vulnerability and potential hazards out there, in fact the odd knock or bump I am sure is designed to help remind us of this. Interesting observations and will inspire me to keep an eye on this detail. Thank you.
Wow what an incredible blog Jonathan. I’m not yet a driver myself, but from being in the backseat of many different cars I can definitely relate to what you shared about stress and impatience levels increasing tenfold when you put most people behind the wheel… It would be very interesting to see the difference if everyone made an effort to be present and consider other cars on the road when driving.
Thank you Susie, I really feel that a short stint on 2 wheels, like a scooter for example would change peoples’ perception of road use, without their insulating bubble of protective car bodywork to cocoon them.
Great observations made Jonathan. I am always amazed at how much I can feel when driving – for example I can always sense a driver has driven up behind me really fast before I look in my mirrors. I have also noticed that you get what you put out with driving. If you are angry and aggressive people ALWAYS cut you up, if you are not this just doesn’t happen. The other thing that I have noticed is how amazing and cooperative traffic is when an emergency vehicle needs to get through, its like we all become one and aligned to one purpose, and then we all become individuals needing to get from a to be more importantly than the other person. Its a great reflection this driving lark :).
I agree Vanessa, I somehow always know when someone is about to overtake because I check my mirrors just before they do. I wonder if these kind of ‘instincts’ could be studied?
As you say Vanessa, ‘this driving lark’ reflects us all. All human behaviour is out there, both good and bad! Your point about ‘sensing’ things, shows that you must be a very sensitive driver, well tuned-in to what’s going on around you!
Dear Jonathan, this is so true. Once we climb into our little capsules all the social niceties seem to fly out of the electric window and our impatience and arrogance definitely gets the better of us. Fortunately for me, I had two car accidents in my twenties, which taught me a lot about just how lethal driving is and just how disconnected we become from the world we live in. Since attending the Universal Medicine workshops and focusing on my presence and inner stability, my awareness behind the wheel has noticeably improved. Thank you for a very entertaining and astute blog.
Dear Rowena, car accidents are so traumatic aren’t they! And often so avoidable. I can still remember vividly, taking evasive action, spinning the car 360 degrees and arriving in a front garden, in Hampstead garden suburb. That was in 1979, I was driving a Triumph 2.5 PI and it could have been yesterday!
I love how you point out that a car can be a bubble that stops us from feeling what is really going on in the world as we travel through it. I know for me it is a place that I can zone out, rather than be more attentively aware. Imagine using your car to travel through the streets trail blazing connection and love instead 🙂
Rachel, that’s great, I can imagine my tyres leaving a loving imprint on the road, to be absorbed by other road users!
Love what you have shared Jonathon. Recently I had a speeding ticket and was also grateful for the reminder to bring my conscious presence fully to driving the car and sharing the road. Your writing is a great reminder to stay with that every moment. Just imagine the imprint the enforcement system receives when fines are made in gracious appreciation…?
Thank you, your blog feels like it has a great flow and humour, really enjoyed the playfulness within it. My relationship with driving has changed a lot, often known as a “boy racer”. Yes I know I am a woman, but I used to get behind the wheel of my car and turn into a hormone pumped teenager….My car has got the bumps and scratches as evidence. I have pondered quite bit on how I use my car and what this is reflecting back to me about how I live. I happened to give my car a good clean today and it has been quite a while since I bumped it (or myself). I also am aware of looking further ahead to anticipate issues as they come, while staying connected with me. It is a great way to travel. Thank you for sharing this experience.
I must say Samantha, that I have noticed that even quite new cars here in France are afflicted by a sort of ‘metal acne’ or surfeit of scratches and bumps on their erstwhile pristine paintwork!
Our cars truly become our own little worlds where we feel that we are allowed to do almost anything we want: shout, swear, make obscene gestures, blast music to be heard blocks away, or just pick our noses as if no one can see us. You are so right that this is is how our cars are sold to us, and I love how you have exposed all of that, so beautifully, Jonathan. It becomes a symbol of ourselves, thinking that we are alone in the world and there are no consequences as long as we play by the rules. But we are under the delusion that if it’s not in the rulebook then it is free game for us to do what we please. What a con!
Very interesting remark ‘thinking we are alone in the world and there are no consequences’. It is precisely those thoughts that show how polished a veneer there is over what is truly going on for us inside – and given an opportunity how easily we revert back to the selfish, irresponsible behaviours we would not knowingly show to our family, friends and colleagues. Your litmus test of picking your nose I thought was a great marker!
So true Naren, as if a “cloak of invisibility” is bestowed upon us by our cars. The American fashion of ‘cup holders’ seems to have caught on here, so that yet another extension of the home exists within the confines of the motor car. I shudder to think what happens to that hot liquid during a hasty brake application!
Perfectly observed Johnathan, getting behind the wheel can certainly change the way we behave and do things.. like the thrill of a road safety risk, being inconsiderate to other drivers and even putting ourselves and passengers at risk. It’s a space where it seems emotions easily come to the surface as though the shell of the car becomes a protection or a barrier from the reality of life outside – a space in which we can disassociate or disconnect and just do as we please. This is in complete contrast to the connection that being consciously present brings. I agree with you Jonathan, I would far rather be a passenger and have less chat and more awareness!
Very true, Jonathan – the times when I have been caught speeding or simply caught myself speeding are when I am not consciously present, it’s amazing how un-present we can be when driving. I now use little markers like feeling my fingers on the steering wheel, or checking how my back feels in the seat to stay present.
I love this Carmel – ‘caught myself speeding’, it is not something that many people would like to admit unless we are caught out by cameras or police!
It’s quite a challenge Carmel isn’t it. If I am alone, I comment out loud to myself on things happening like, “O.K. Mr. lorry I know that you’re going to pull out, so I shall start to slow down now….”
sort of thing!
Love this!
So true, Carmel. I have many times caught myself checking out when driving down a familiar route, or even just letting the voice of the sat-nav guide me to where I am going without any idea where I actually am. It is so important to remain with ourselves and present when we do anything and that includes driving especially!
Jonathan, a cracker of a blog and what a great way to bring attention to the activity of driving! I could so relate as there have been many times when I have hopped in my car, and arrived at the other end, or found myself in a situation of being too close to another car etc. and realised that I have not been consciously present, but have been driving on automatic pilot or in distraction… A couple of near misses for me and also the odd speeding fine have been the wake-up call for me to come back to my body and be more present as I drive. What I have realised though is that while the consequences of not being present while driving, can have a very immediate (and often dangerous) outcome (speeding fine / near accidents etc.) – the activity of being consciously present applies to everything I do…. Whether I am in a car or not!
Thank you, It’s interesting Angela, that not so long ago it wouldn’t have been possible to get so close to the car in front, simply because car brakes in their pre- 1970s form couldn’t have stopped you in time! Advances in disc brake design mean that we can get closer yes, but that just makes driving more stressful for everyone. I feel it’s ‘better to back off’, although Sometimes the person behind takes that as a green light to overtake and fill the space in front you’ve just created!
I have only just learnt to drive, but I totally get what you are saying. I really enjoy driving, it is so easy to tell when I am not present and its a great presence building activity – can I remember how I got from A to B?
Oh Rebecca, I can remember often, years ago, getting from A to B and not remembering the journey at all. Had I gone through a red light? Cause some sort of accident? It was quite scary. I’ve learned to be more aware since then, and now if I find myself ‘drifting off’ a conscious look at my speedo always brings me back.