Biting my Nails – Old Habits die gently

I started biting my nails when I was about 6 years old, or even earlier… I remember my mother telling me not to do it, and eventually buying some foul tasting liquid to put on my nails. Despite this awful taste I persisted. It became a very unconscious habit that increased when I was aware of being anxious, for example reading a tension-inducing book or in my teens watching a literally – for me – a “nail-biting” TV programme! As I grew older and became more self conscious I tried to hide my nails by folding my fingers inside my palms so no one would notice. I felt helpless to do anything about it, although I would like to have stopped the habit. I chewed all the way through my school years.

I got married with bitten nails and let the end of my fingers drop when people wanted to see my engagement and wedding rings. At one point I even went for a manicure and had false nails put on. This worked for a while as I couldn’t chew my nails through the false ones. But even though my nails grew a little underneath, when the false nails fell off my own nails were so weak and brittle that they split and I chewed once more. Later I decided to try hypnotherapy in an effort to stop my habit: this technique worked for a while, and I dutifully performed the self hypnotherapy programme I had been given, but this didn’t hold and I once again chewed my nails.  I was trying to treat the symptoms, not the cause.

As a result of being introduced to Serge Benhayon and the Universal Medicine teachings 8 years ago, I realised that self-love was a new concept to me! I began to understand that my self-loathing and lack of self-love in my case manifested as nail biting   which I used as a form of anger against myself. It was safer to literally “eat myself” than to show my anger outwardly. How unloving was that?! My self esteem had been very low for a long time.

I began to alter my former lifestyle habits by choosing a gentler rhythm in my daily activities: this involved sleeping according to how my body felt and also eating a diet that suited me, for true nourishment – foods that didn’t make me feel heavy or bloated. I became more aware of how I moved about in my daily life and began a gentle daily walk. I stopped pushing myself, which had a hardening effect on me and my body. I became a lot more accepting of myself and appreciating myself for who I truly am, not what I had been told I was from childhood. I noticed how I began to feel so much better about and even like myself, something unheard of for as long as I could remember. I had spent a lot of money on various spiritual modalities before Universal Medicine, but nothing had really changed, as I had only experienced temporary relief from some symptoms.

I began to develop love for myself, which meant that I cared for and nurtured my body more, and this has lasted until this day.

I have also received Esoteric Healing from Universal Medicine practitioners. A few years after my initial introduction to Universal Medicine and as my self-love grew, I observed that I was no longer constantly chewing my nails… and in fact my nails were growing. This happened without any trying to stop! It seemed like a miracle to me. Fifty years of a habit evaporated over the next few months. Wow! I no longer hide my nails and hands out of embarrassment and even paint my nails, have manicures and choose to wear rings on occasions. Thank you to Serge Benhayon and all the amazing Universal Medicine practitioners who have supported me over the past few years as I return to the true me – a work still in progress.

By Sue Q, Somerset UK

Further Reading:
Learning to Feel my Feelings: Human Beings, not Human Doings

1,473 thoughts on “Biting my Nails – Old Habits die gently

  1. What a time to stop biting or sucking our thumb as at present it has become a no, no, to put our hands near our face.
    At the age of 4 as it is still a vivid memory, can I share that a sales man at the door noticed I was sucking my thumb and he assured me that he had sucked his nail away and it would also happen to me if I continued to suck mine, so I immediately stopped and years latter I found out he had it shot of during the 2 WW. But had I stopped or simply replaced one habit with another? True healing as shared By Serge Benhayon brings a remarkable difference to all we do and our healing never stops so one day I will deal with what ever the replacement was.

  2. When we can get to the root cause of any issue, the nomination of it is incredibly powerful. It does feel miraculous and liberating when we can let something go that we have been living with for a long time, and once we have let it go there is a wonder at it ever having been there at all!

  3. I’ve got spots on my arm that I pick at times. The part about it being safer to eat yourself than let the emotion out in another way really stuck with me. If I don’t pick there’s a very strong emotion and reading this has got me wondering: what if I didn’t pick at let myself feel that intense emotion? Got nothing to loose by being curious.

  4. Self-love was a new concept for me as well. Even just simply to be gentle with myself, was something that had never entered into my awareness as an option. And that says so much about what was propelling my every choice of action for a very long time.

    1. Teaching young children to be gentle with themselves and each other can be taught so naturally at home and even in school. How come so many of us were unaware of this possibility when we were growing up?! As you say this says a lot about what was ‘propelling my every choice of action…’. What energy do we allow and thus live in that allows so much self abuse?

  5. This is a great blog for everyone to read and discuss how our habits can show us the disregard we live with daily. The other great point you raise is that you were treating the symptom and not the cause. How many times do we take a head ache tablet to relieve the pain of it but don’t consider why we have a headache in the first place.

    1. Yes treating the symptoms may be a relief, but doesn’t reach the true cause that needs to be addressed for true healing to take place

  6. So many of our creature habits are due to our lack of self-loving ways of living and by starting out being at-least gentle as you have Sue makes habitual habits simple to be life changing, which is absolutely amazing.

  7. Symptoms that we have are all a means for the body to communicate to us about an imbalance. When our normal balance is out, there must be a consequence. Hence the focus should not be on removal of the symptoms alone, without addressing the imbalance.

    1. Spot on Henrietta. Yet how many of us may ‘successfully’ treat the superficial symptoms and wonder why they return after a while.

  8. Could it also be that when we are children we feel the energy of everything that surrounds us and when we are not encouraged to express what we feel, the difference of the energies then we are left in the nervous tension and biting or chewing our nails is an indication of the stress we are feeling and unable to articulate.

    1. Yes habits such as these indicate an underlying cause – tension and stress – that isn’t dealt with. How many of us treat ourselves and/or our children looking to get symptom relief rather than looking deeper for the root cause of such tension.

  9. “It was safer to literally “eat myself” than to show my anger outwardly.” Wow you are really honest Sue – Thank you – as it is very helpful to understand what is really going on underneath our so called bad habits. I love to read what is possible if we start to chose to nurture and love ourselves more!

  10. ‘Fifty years of a habit evaporated over the next few months. Wow! ‘ This is incredible but is also making wonderful sense to me – with love we are complete so there is no need for anything that is not love, what’s not love then drops away.

  11. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are starting a self-love revolution. I love reading stories like this where people are starting to truly love themselves and the miracles that come from this.

  12. “I began to develop love for myself, which meant that I cared for and nurtured my body more, and this has lasted until this day” Sue I love this, it really says it all. If we look after ourselves our lives improves beyond measure, love ourselves unconditionally and our lives are lived in connection with the divine.

  13. When we start to be more loving with ourselves we do not need certain behaviours anymore, they simply cannot be part of our life anymore.

    1. Yes and discipline may work for a while, but it doesn’t hold. Going to the root cause and healing that results in long term healing.

  14. Biting our nails gives us a sense of ownership over our own body that we appreciate given our lack of self-worth. We use this ownership to avoid at all costs settling in our own body.

    1. Such a simple truth Elizabeth – the gentleness is a bridge to look after ourselves and stay connected with the body and soul.

  15. While it seems like a small thing to give up biting your nails, it is a smoke signal to the deeper changes experienced inside yourself. Its a common experience amongst the students who are with Universal Medicine… deep rivers of change, and these are then experienced in the outward manifestation of many and all aspects of life.

  16. You can see with people biting their nails that they are attacking themselves. There is an energy at play that is attacking their own body.
    It is to be felt why we attack ourselves?

  17. The transformational power of self-love.. when we start taking much deeper care of ourselves, the anxiousness starts to subside by itself because we are able to connect more solidly to the absolute knowing and understanding of who we are, in essence – instead of trying to find it somewhere outside of us, or look to the world to give us some kind of temporary relief or security.

  18. I love the title of this blog which illustrates how if we introduce the medicine of love then we do not have to impose discipline to arrest the symptom as we are addressing the underlying cause and bringing healing to ourselves.

  19. When I read the line ‘I chewed all the way through my school years.’ I got the image like you were chewing your nails like we would do with chewing gum. Truly choosing to eat yourself is quite extreme and yet we find it normal that some children but also adults bite their nails which it is definitely not.

  20. Do we consider that the reason for such anxiety being displayed through the activity of nail biting developed as children is due to the fact that we have clocked that the world we live in is not a Soulful reflection of who we are, and we begin to feel at a loss as to how are we to be in this world, as there are not many who offer the reflection of living who we are in connection to our essence is natural? I realised this was the case for me and nail biting was one way that I learned coped with the tension of disconnecting from my essence.

    1. Me too Carola and thus reflections such as Sue’s are desperately needed in our current world where so many children are developing mental health issues earlier and earlier.

      1. Have we replaced biting our nails with cutting ourselves? This too is an extreme way to relieve our bodies of the nervous tension that builds up within us as we feel unable to express what is truly going on. We are naturally very sensitive human-beings and we are constantly being asked to toughen up which goes against our very nature.

  21. I had a wake up call on nail biting when I had some photographs taken for a website. On one of them there was a close up of my hand and the state of my bitten nails was plain to see – not a great image for a website photograph. I have taken some practical measures too – like wearing gloves when I drive because there seems to be a particular temptation to bite and drive for some reason. But the most important thing for me has been to deepen my connection with my body in full and feel the harmony inherent within. In this, the desire to self-abuse in this way has diminished and rarely comes up any more.

    1. Well shared Richard – for when we are feeling more solid, there is less of a tendency to bite our nails – and thus it (the nail biting) is a sign of the anxiety, a sense of not really knowing how to handle what we are feeling, which again confirms the sensitive beings that we are.

  22. Having been a nail-nibbler my whole life I can relate to much of what you share here Sue. It says a lot about the world we have created when it becomes far easier to ‘eat ourselves’ than to love ourselves. Such anger masks a deep grief that comes from not living true to the love that we are.

      1. Richard what you say is interesting because is it possible we do know there is another way to live far removed from the dog eat dog world we live in and are totally stressed by. It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon that I discovered the possibilities of living this different way. To be given another option or a different possibility that it is possible to re-learn how to love ourselves and in the re-learning all those self abusive ways just fall away because nothing can stand in the way of the solid unifying love that is the universe. Reconnect back to ourselves and allow the universe to flow through us then we will remember who we are and where we come from.

  23. I’ve been a nail biter myself. Coming back to this blog reminds me to appreciate how far I have come with this. I have learned to take care of my nails rather than ‘eat myself’ and that feels much more loving of course. But I am also aware that there is a tendency in me to be nice rather than express at times – and even if I do not bite my nails any more, I still need to express how I am feeling – or it will just ‘come out’ in another unloving way.

  24. Self-love is so powerful, I was never taught this until I came to Universal Medicine and I started to understand what self-love means and saw examples of people truly living with deep self-love. This was incredible and I was inspired to embrace this amazing way of life. Also, through self-love I am able to expose abuse and no longer accept it as normal or something to tolerate. Deepening our self-love empowers us to say no to abuse. If everyone on this planet embraced self-love as taught by Universal Medicine, abuse would fade away and love would simply flourish.

    1. Yes learning to love ourselves certainly exposes the abuse. I found as I deepened my love for myself the long held habit just fell away. Like a miracle after years of ‘trying’ to stop.

    2. chanly88 I would say that self love is the most powerful medicine on earth as taught by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. I am discovering that to truly embrace ourselves and return to that inner connection that we all have is the only way out of this mess we have all had a hand in creating.

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