The Science of Hurts

We have all felt hurt at some time in our lives. It is as common a human experience as eating or sleeping. Many of us accept that life is full of hurts and that is just the way it is. But what is a hurt exactly?

Most of us would probably say that we feel or register a hurt any time we do not feel truly met, understood and respected for who we are. On a more practical level, any time we do not feel respect, decency, love and honesty, we say we feel hurt by this. We then assume that this is how it is and that there is no other way. But is this exactly true? Could there be another possibility? Do we have to feel hurt by the lack of love in the world?

I know from my own experience that every day I feel the quality of everything that is occurring around me. From the way people speak, move or just look, it is all constantly communicating something to me. I have also noticed that some days or moments in a day, I feel more disturbed by others’ actions or movements and other days or moments, I don’t.

So what’s the difference? Well, I have noticed that the days when I can observe what is occurring around me and not be disturbed, are the days when I am feeling less disturbed inside of me. On these days I am more connected to an inner stillness and steadiness that is always present inside me. When I am connected to this inner stillness I feel much bigger and grander than the disturbance and therefore, to be hurt by this disturbance seems impossible.

So I have found this an interesting observation because it means that how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself.

It is easy to think of a hurt as something that is being done to us; that we are innocent victims in the crime. That it is a simple case of someone hurting us and we have every right to feel hurt. But perhaps what is closer to the truth is that we are actually choosing to feel hurt due to a disturbing situation. We choose to focus on the relatively small disturbance and disconnect from the abundance of love and stillness that is all around us and inside us constantly. Therefore, if feeling hurt is a choice rather than a foregone conclusion, we could also just as easily make a choice to NOT feel hurt by any disturbing situation.

Another belief I would say we have around hurts is that we often like to think of them as a simple transaction in a straight line. We have the perpetrator who commits the unloving act upon the victim. There is a good guy and a baddie. We feel hard done by if we are the victim and wonder how on earth someone could possibly dream of not loving us as we know we deserve to be loved, because deep down we know we come from love.

However, have we considered that the hurts we experience in our lives may actually be cyclical in nature and not as lineal as may first appear?

Every time we do, say or think something that is not coming from a basis of love and truth, it creates an energetic disturbance in the universe. We have in effect created disharmony where there was none before. This contributes to the pool of energy or consciousness that surrounds us and also influences us. We in effect live in the soup that we create with our own daily choices.

So when we complain that someone has hurt us, it is wiser to understand that unless we can honestly say that we live our own lives with absolute truth and love all the time, we have actually contributed to this hurt we now feel coming towards us. It is a bit like wee-ing in the pool and then complaining that someone else in the pool has splashed us in the face with the collective urine!

So rather than constantly reacting to life and only seeing the lack of love that is obviously sometimes the reality of life on this planet, perhaps it would be wiser to stay connected to the love that we are and take full responsibility for what we express in the world, knowing that it is our collective expressions that make up the world we all have to live in.

I have experimented with this myself a little and have noticed that if I choose to be understanding and not react when someone is doing or saying something disturbing around me, then many times the person will change how they are expressing as they too sense the disturbance. Then other times when I choose to react, no matter how much right I feel I have to be hurt, I have observed that I am actually expressing the same quality of disturbance back to the person who I have decided is hurting me! The disturbance becomes the norm and neither of us have an opportunity to get out of it. We both stay in our protection and guardedness, which feels justified by our hurts that we are choosing to hang on to.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have begun to explore the science of energy – which includes the science of hurts – and I have realised that despite the reality of the existence of hurts on this planet of ours, they do not have to be the dominant or driving force behind our behaviours as they currently are, and that we do in fact have a choice as to whether we feel hurt or not.

By Andrew Mooney

Related Readings:
We are not our hurts
Relationship games – fear of losing love
Relationships – why we should come clean about our deepest hurts

Spara

Spara

Spara

980 thoughts on “The Science of Hurts

  1. we could also just as easily make a choice to NOT feel hurt by any disturbing situation. That is a great one even I have to mention that it is great to have some childhood esoteric healing sessions to get deep hurts of the past still energetically stuck in the body to release. This way it is more easy to not act. As we react to not feel the pain the other is touching.

    1. I agree Sylvia, it can be very helpful to clear childhood hurt and trauma from the body with the assistance of Sacred Esoteric Healing. It also can give a greater understanding of ourselves and as a result understanding of other people, which can build our wisdom and reduce reactions to others.

  2. I feel that understanding that we live in a collective pool of energy and that everything we do can affect others is key to resolving hurts.

  3. ” how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice to how I am with and within, myself ” This is very true Andrew one of the keys is to understand once a person have given their power away to a situation , one has already hurt themselves in this process , once this is done on comes the reaction in response .

  4. I feel the same Andrew, the days that I feel disturbed within myself, I tend to react more to people and situations. When I feel connected to myself and loving, I feel I am able to handle any situation with love and understanding too. Often, I only feel hurt when someone or something has not met my expectations and I feel my hurts are very much self-created.

  5. What a truly amazing blog bringing so much depth and understanding to a subject that most of us want to avoid, ie we will use a variety of distractions (food being a biggie) not to feel our hurts, and the fact that we have created them on some level. The Science of Hurts now in black and white is available for everyone and will be found by those who are ready to awaken from living in ignorance, and from this awakening can feel that living from our hurts is no longer working or evolving and that they have the power and free will to make different choices – one being to heal and clear those old hurts from the body.

  6. “Therefore, if feeling hurt is a choice rather than a foregone conclusion, we could also just as easily make a choice to NOT feel hurt by any disturbing situation.” this is a great question if its a choice then we can choose not to feel hurt … it changes everything. We have to take more responsibility in what we choose.

    1. This is true Francisco. There’s something here for me about how when we indulge in our hurts, we are individuals and it’s ‘all about me’. But when we let go of hurts and live in a way that is not contributing to the disturbance Andrew talks about, we realise that hurts are not and never were about just us. That when we hang onto hurts we are continuing the incarceration of humanity as a whole in the energy of hurts. It is those who choose to step out of this energy and live free of hurts who offer the reflection to those still stuck that there is another way to live that is a choice.

  7. Its very true Andrew in what you say its a choice to live the energetic quality of life we want to have in the present and what the future holds as a result .

  8. “So I have found this an interesting observation because it means that how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself.” This is a very important point and a great reminder that we can go through life with filters on because of the hurts that we carry. This prevents us from really opening up to people and being free within ourselves.

  9. ‘how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself’
    ‘we do in fact have a choice as to whether we feel hurt or not’

    This two sentences are massive and clearly summarize the science of hurts. Everything is at our hands.

  10. “We in effect live in the soup that we create with our own daily choices.” Just reading this one line explains everything that has happened around me this week and today. It all comes back to us and it all comes back to choice and how we live. This is medicine.

  11. How does hurt relates to disturbance? We feel disturbances all the time. It is impossible not to feel them. But it is only when we say yes to it that disturbes us, hence we choose to hold on to it, that we register a hurt that stays with us.

  12. Looking back through my life I can see that I lived in a bubble of hurts, being bounced from one to another, feeling helpless as I believed that I was always being hurt by someone. The bubble got bigger and bigger until I finally realised that I had invited the hurts into the bubble; yes, I was shocked to see that it was actually my choice to allow the hurts in and therefore I was definitely not a victim of the behaviours of others. The bubble has shrunk to almost nothing as the hurts have been healed and even though one two try to pop in every now and then, they don’t get very far.

  13. Once we understand the science of hurts we also understand the science of healing them, ie we are empowered to set ourselves free from the imprisonment of reaction and the emotional turmoil that comes with it.

  14. “Therefore, if feeling hurt is a choice rather than a foregone conclusion, we could also just as easily make a choice to NOT feel hurt by any disturbing situation.” Ah yes indeed. Its a sometimes squirm-inducing truth but a truth nonetheless. All that drama and hurts is all of our own making.

  15. As someone who is reacting to a situation at the moment, your blog is a timely reminder to bring more understanding to the person and their situation and to spend less time in reaction to it.

  16. “how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself.” with a deep inner connection to our being, hurt is impossible at those times, but when we do feel hurt and react we are then given the opportunity to look deeper at the hurt we are carrying in our own body that is being triggered to come up, be seen and healed.

  17. “So rather than constantly reacting to life and only seeing the lack of love that is obviously sometimes the reality of life on this planet, perhaps it would be wiser to stay connected to the love that we are and take full responsibility for what we express in the world, knowing that it is our collective expressions that make up the world we all have to live in.” This entire blog is gold Andrew. Your understanding of the science of hurts brings to the fore that it is our choice and our responsibility as to whether we feel hurt by others or not.

    1. Yes this is true Adele, and I would add, when we are connected, the ‘way’ we express is from a loving space which in turn offers another space to feel, allow and be. This is a work in progress for me, everyday.

  18. “…. how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself.” So true Andrew. When I am full and connected with myself I can bring understanding to a situation rather than the judgement I often used to bring. .

  19. When we notice a change in someone or someone does something that is offensive, hurtful, deceiving or directly abusive, we can actually raise the standard in this relationship by not taking it personally but calling the behaviour out for what it is and observing how that person changed, and why. This is how we stop hurts from escalating into long term issues that might affect relationships for years.

  20. “So I have found this an interesting observation because it means that how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself.” Andrew what you have shared here is the essence of life and that the fundamentals of how we live and connect to the world offers us a grander scope for how we feel and interact everyday. Connecting to who we are from within allows us to remain aware and observe the all that happens around us without it disturbing our inner truth and this is a very important key to living life from who we are and not letting the outside world or reactions steer us off course.

  21. Every moment is truly a choice… we can respond or react to whatever is going on around us and or within us – either way it is our choice what we choose next.

  22. “Well, I have noticed that the days when I can observe what is occurring around me and not be disturbed, are the days when I am feeling less disturbed inside of me. On these days I am more connected to an inner stillness and steadiness that is always present inside me. When I am connected to this inner stillness I feel much bigger and grander than the disturbance and therefore, to be hurt by this disturbance seems impossible.” These words are golden. They offer a balm for any hurting heart because they feel so true. They are uplifting and inspirational for all. They provide alchemy if we allow it in. Thank you.

  23. I think it’s great to really ask what a hurt is and to raise our awareness of when we are holding onto hurts – in effect justifying it to ourselves to hold onto it rather than being willing to see the bigger picture and observe more clearly all that is going on…

  24. To understand that we choose to feel hurt because we are disturbed and that even with that disturbance there is an abundance of love in us and around us that we can choose to connect to, shines a whole new light on hurts and asks that we consider where we focus and that if we choose to only see that hurt, that is our choice and it’s ignoring the love we are.

  25. Keeping life simple, uncomplicated and taking care of the relationship we have with ourselves supports the way one responds to life’s twists and turns, as quite beautifully shared … “how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself…”

  26. I have come to realise that we cannot really love another if we do not heal our hurts because we are always going to be on guard about getting hurt again and therefore not be fully open and transparent with others therefore not be able to hold ourselves or another in love. This then makes a commitment to healing our hurts incredibly important.

  27. ‘how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself.’ This is a great lesson in taking responsibility for how we feel. Are we observing ourselves as well as observing the disturbance around us?

  28. In victimhood we feel that we can’t change anything, and really that the world is against us. So to know that the we have contributed to the disturbance makes us feel less of a victim and that we can actually lessen the disturbance by how we are being. Thank you Andrew, this is a great and timely reminder.

  29. Sometimes the hurt is in not expressing. Yes there may be reaction in expressing we are hurt or we do not want to be treated in a disrespectful way, but if we hold back in expressing what we feel, things carry on in the same way too, as silence can be a reaction too. The way for me to work through hurts is to feel them so thoroughly that I can then let them go, and in the process express all that is necessary and still hold myself and others in understanding and forever deepening in communication.

  30. This is definitely a topic to be studied and understood. If the science of energy were part of the school curriculum the world would be quite a different place to live in.

  31. Only recently I have allowed myself to see the extent to which hurts play a role in my life, and that I love people deep down but I let the fear of rejection get in the way of opening up to others. It is quite sad that this plays out in so many ways and holds me back from being me with others.

  32. Perceiving, understanding and responding to hurts as you suggest, Andrew, is very empowering and greatly relieves and can resolve the hurt(s).

  33. “when I choose to react, no matter how much right I feel I have to be hurt, I have observed that I am actually expressing the same quality of disturbance back to the person who I have decided is hurting me!” This is a beautiful awareness and an opportunity to break the cycle of creating more disturbance.

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