The Science of Hurts

We have all felt hurt at some time in our lives. It is as common a human experience as eating or sleeping. Many of us accept that life is full of hurts and that is just the way it is. But what is a hurt exactly?

Most of us would probably say that we feel or register a hurt any time we do not feel truly met, understood and respected for who we are. On a more practical level, any time we do not feel respect, decency, love and honesty, we say we feel hurt by this. We then assume that this is how it is and that there is no other way. But is this exactly true? Could there be another possibility? Do we have to feel hurt by the lack of love in the world?

I know from my own experience that every day I feel the quality of everything that is occurring around me. From the way people speak, move or just look, it is all constantly communicating something to me. I have also noticed that some days or moments in a day, I feel more disturbed by others’ actions or movements and other days or moments, I don’t.

So what’s the difference? Well, I have noticed that the days when I can observe what is occurring around me and not be disturbed, are the days when I am feeling less disturbed inside of me. On these days I am more connected to an inner stillness and steadiness that is always present inside me. When I am connected to this inner stillness I feel much bigger and grander than the disturbance and therefore, to be hurt by this disturbance seems impossible.

So I have found this an interesting observation because it means that how I interpret what is occurring around me depends on my own choice of how I am with, and within, myself.

It is easy to think of a hurt as something that is being done to us; that we are innocent victims in the crime. That it is a simple case of someone hurting us and we have every right to feel hurt. But perhaps what is closer to the truth is that we are actually choosing to feel hurt due to a disturbing situation. We choose to focus on the relatively small disturbance and disconnect from the abundance of love and stillness that is all around us and inside us constantly. Therefore, if feeling hurt is a choice rather than a foregone conclusion, we could also just as easily make a choice to NOT feel hurt by any disturbing situation.

Another belief I would say we have around hurts is that we often like to think of them as a simple transaction in a straight line. We have the perpetrator who commits the unloving act upon the victim. There is a good guy and a baddie. We feel hard done by if we are the victim and wonder how on earth someone could possibly dream of not loving us as we know we deserve to be loved, because deep down we know we come from love.

However, have we considered that the hurts we experience in our lives may actually be cyclical in nature and not as lineal as may first appear?

Every time we do, say or think something that is not coming from a basis of love and truth, it creates an energetic disturbance in the universe. We have in effect created disharmony where there was none before. This contributes to the pool of energy or consciousness that surrounds us and also influences us. We in effect live in the soup that we create with our own daily choices.

So when we complain that someone has hurt us, it is wiser to understand that unless we can honestly say that we live our own lives with absolute truth and love all the time, we have actually contributed to this hurt we now feel coming towards us. It is a bit like wee-ing in the pool and then complaining that someone else in the pool has splashed us in the face with the collective urine!

So rather than constantly reacting to life and only seeing the lack of love that is obviously sometimes the reality of life on this planet, perhaps it would be wiser to stay connected to the love that we are and take full responsibility for what we express in the world, knowing that it is our collective expressions that make up the world we all have to live in.

I have experimented with this myself a little and have noticed that if I choose to be understanding and not react when someone is doing or saying something disturbing around me, then many times the person will change how they are expressing as they too sense the disturbance. Then other times when I choose to react, no matter how much right I feel I have to be hurt, I have observed that I am actually expressing the same quality of disturbance back to the person who I have decided is hurting me! The disturbance becomes the norm and neither of us have an opportunity to get out of it. We both stay in our protection and guardedness, which feels justified by our hurts that we are choosing to hang on to.

Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have begun to explore the science of energy – which includes the science of hurts – and I have realised that despite the reality of the existence of hurts on this planet of ours, they do not have to be the dominant or driving force behind our behaviours as they currently are, and that we do in fact have a choice as to whether we feel hurt or not.

By Andrew Mooney

Related Readings:
We are not our hurts
Relationship games – fear of losing love
Relationships – why we should come clean about our deepest hurts




1,091 thoughts on “The Science of Hurts

  1. “it is our collective expressions that make up the world we all have to live in”. The more we deepen the love we live with the more abundant love is felt by all.

  2. This is a huge lesson to learn that we think we have a right to react to someone who we feel has hurt us in some way. So we can hold them to ransom and then nobody wins except the energy that set it all up in the first place. This energy feeds of our separation to each other and will constantly find way to feed it.

  3. Understanding others and where they are at, and also learning to not take situations personally is what I am working on at the moment so that I am not reacting but giving people space and staying connected to love. Andrew I liked your words about “the Science of Hurts” which opens it up as a study, and exploring reacting, and being hurt or not, as movements of different energies.

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