Time for a New Normal

While having an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM), it dawned on me in the middle of the session, – that this healing modality might not be considered by some as normal!

I lay there imagining what someone might think if they burst in on my session. Considering our modern day society, I feel many of us would agree that a woman massaging another woman’s breast tissue – even performed gently with no sexual connotations –may not be considered as ‘normal’. And so, because the outcome of every single Esoteric Breast Massage I have ever had has always been exquisitely supportive and has felt like I was giving myself the gift of clarity and wisdom, a truly self-loving experience in many ways, I began to ponder on what actually is ‘normal’.

The Oxford dictionary defines normal as being that which “conforms to a standard: usual, typical or expected.” (1)

But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?

What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking. It is normal to see a fist fight outside a pub at midnight. It is typical to drink alcohol every day of the week. It is expected for many Muslim women to wear a veil over their face. It is normal to see men and or women sleeping around; it is typical for people to expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems; it is expected that mothers put their children first, before themselves. And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.

What this very basic insight highlights is that these are behaviours that not everyone does or would even consider doing themselves, yet they are ordinary, commonplace and quite conventional actions for some people.

So the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody. And yet in our society we accept and even champion behaviours based on what we deem is normal.

How does something become normal in society? New behaviours are performed by a group of people and when enough people are exhibiting that behaviour, it can then be accepted. It doesn’t even have to be the majority who either exhibit the behaviour or who accept it. However, it is considered normal because it is a behaviour that is typical or expected by a particular group. Once behaviour is repeated, it easily achieves the ‘normal’ tag.

Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?

To get away with a behaviour that says if enough people do it, then by virtue of the numbers of people doing it, that then can become the new normal. But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?

Is ‘normal’ what we should be aspiring to?

If we are so fixated on being normal so we can judge others and ourselves and establish where we fit into society, then it is most decidedly time to create a new normal. Yes, the world dictates what is normal, but should it be this way? Should the world be allowed to name, assess, criticize, judge, disapprove and then condemn so-called normal behaviours?

Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal?

What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?

What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.

Written from living the inspirational teachings of Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and Esoteric Breast Massage practitioners worldwide.

By Suzanne Anderssen, Brisbane, Australia

(1) http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/normal

Further Reading:
Change your Life
Society’s Truth-Tellers Will Always Challenge The Status Quo

1,240 thoughts on “Time for a New Normal

  1. I agree ‘To get away with a behaviour that says if enough people do it, then by virtue of the numbers of people doing it, that then can become the new normal’ it seems currently this is happening a lot within our world, behaviours that are abusive, unloving or disconnecting say someone texting other people while out for a meal, or even things like war have become normal because we have accepted it. As soon as we do not start accepting something it can no longer be normal, so ultimately all that is happening in the world right now is our responsibility. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have raised the bar on what normal is making this about transparency, truth, love, commitment to life and responsibility to name a few.

  2. Normal is usually based on what the masses are doing. When that becomes skewed what is truly normal can seem so not-normal.

  3. ” And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.” . . . this is sadly true and what a shame but we can turn this around by truly celebrating and appreciating ourselves and others at every opportunity.

  4. Indeed, the very word normal has given us the justification to validate anything that is accepted by the many.

    Note that I self accepted even if they don’t agree with it themselves.

  5. It is normal to express the love that we are and it is abnormal to express anything less. We have reinterpreted and thus greatly polluted the word ‘normal’ to mean ‘that which the masses are doing’ so as to afford us an excuse for our chosen and collective waywardness that has seen us withdrawing from and expressing far less that the great love we in-truth all are.

  6. In the same way that looking after oneself is not considered ‘normal’, and too often misinterpreted as being selfish… a long hard look at what we consider as being normal is well overdue.

  7. I was just sharing with a work colleague what the Esoteric Breast Massage was today, I was explaining how we as women have really lost touch with how we feel as women, to feel our tenderness and that in the past I didn’t even know what that was, tenderness, least of all treat myself with that quality. She agreed with me and was very interested, I actually did say, we need to redefine a ‘new normal’, so great timing for me to reread this great blog.

  8. Normal should be that we live what we feel from within. To compare ‘our’ lived normal with other peoples normal who gather in a groupconsiousness of being normal because they are in the same comfort is not the way.

  9. “Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal?” I respond with a resounding yes. It was normal for the world to believe the world was flat, normal for people to think earth was the centre of the universe. Our definition of normal thus changes as the old ‘normal’ becomes outdated. Is it normal for a good percentage of the world’s people today to be obese? it would seem that each of us can say what is normal for us as individuals – but where is truth in all this?

  10. When I read the definition of normal I could feel just how constraining the word is, with no consideration for each of our unique expressions. Time to take the word normal out of its box, untie its shackles and see it in its grandness.

  11. hmmmm this is extraordinarily real , and I would say normal – this conversation is real and to the depth of normalness we can come back to. As you reveal, it is so prevalent what exist in the ideals and beliefs in our world, yet something else might be actually truly normal. This sentence reveals as such:’ What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking. It is normal to see a fist fight outside a pub at midnight. It is typical to drink alcohol every day of the week. It is expected for many Muslim women to wear a veil over their face. It is normal to see men and or women sleeping around; it is typical for people to expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems; it is expected that mothers put their children first, before themselves. And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.’ I can only agree. We should set our minds up to 0% again and change our visions.

  12. I wonder what our ‘normal’ will look like in 2000 years, it seems like normal changes with the times and the fashions rather than remaining a steady constant: what if we only considered love and the truth as normal, sure the scenery may change and situations may be different but the principles of love and truth would always be the same.

  13. Nothing in our daily lives and world at large will change until we challenge and truly assess what we call normal to expose what is abnormal.

  14. Powerful blog Suzanne and a confirmation to read as when I read this I totally agreed and thought ‘finally someone who say it the way it is!’. If we think about it, isn’t it strange how a street fight can be seen as normal, or robbery can be seen as normal or common yet taking care of yourself fully is seen as abnormal. This alone already shows something needs to change about how we use the word normal.

  15. We are all in essence love. Love is the unifying quality of our Soul, of which we all are. As such being moved by love is what is truly normal. Yet we have allowed ourselves to be moved by lovelessness, and it is this that we today assume, settle for and accept is normal. I agree Suzanne, time to return to a true normal is in order, and it begins with our choosing to be moved by the love we are within.

  16. Everyday we have the opportunity to redefine a new normal and take it to another level, the question is what are we doing with this precious time of ours?! And will we choose to keep defining a new normal, or keep perpetuating the harmful normal we have now across the whole world? Every day we choose the quality of the world we live in.

  17. ‘If we are so fixated on being normal so we can judge others and ourselves and establish where we fit into society, then it is most decidedly time to create a new normal.’ How limiting and even imprisoning this subscription to ‘normal’ is. It is giving in to mass rule and not considering what is truly healthy and life giving to society and not recognising that we have the power to change the status quo, up the standards and give us all a much more fulfilling life.

  18. I agree that change is needed Suzanne. And as has been mentioned what is normal for one may not be normal for another, person, community or country. Where does it end and perhaps it comes back to what is harmless or harmful.

  19. If normal is defined by something being repeated then I would say that perhaps we use the term normal to avoid using another word – ingrained, to cover up the fact that we have certain behaviours that we can get stuck in which are usually based on how we perceive the world.

  20. What if the word ‘normal’ was replaced with ‘irresponsible’… it would make a lot more sense that way.

  21. The fact that we all have the notion that we might need a new definition for the word normal indicates to me that we as a society are way off where we actually should be. The violence and abusive acts that present themselves on a daily basis have become normal, but in fact are not. We better could say that they are an often happening event in our daily lives, but are not normal but completely against our natural origin that is love. Love is our normal and everything that waivers from that we should call not normal, but a waywardness of human behavior.

  22. “Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” Maybe we could consider that by using the word ‘normal,’ we are stopping our own learning and feelings of what is true? Could it be that the only real way to find out what is supportive and normal for each person is to experience it first hand before any ideas or true feelings can be made.

  23. So true Suzanne, just because something is declared to be normal, it doesnt make it ok or desirable of any of us. As a society we have slipped so far from appreciation of true wellbeing, that being chronically ill, having rude teenagers live under our roofs, not being energised when we wake up etc – all these things that are experienced by so much of the population until we clearly are shown otherwise -and- also appreciate the opportunity to redefine how we want our usual life to be.

  24. What I feel is important is that we have no judgement towards another and their choices but allow them to be. We do not know what has led someone to their current situation and choices and it is not for us to judge. When we do judge we lose the understanding and impose our beliefs and pictures onto others.

  25. When society or a number of people listens and follows their inner heart that which we once thought was normal eg.drinking alcohol becomes abnormal likewise if we choose to not listen to our innermost and give energy to abusive, ill-behaviours which today are relatively uncommon, they then become extreme and classed as normal. So our normal can change depending on how many there is carrying out the behaviour; the choice is ours.

  26. Thank you Suzane, for bringing light and exposing the lie of what we call normal, it is only through our connection and appreciation of who we are that we can withstand the resistance of those who indulge in ill behaviours and comfort and who defend what we call normal in society and reflect another way to live based on love and respect for all.

  27. What a great article to return to, and what a great call for me, us, humanity. Do we dare to say, to express what feels normal to us? Even though we are perhaps the only ones saying it? Even when we know by saying some things that we will get attacked, ridiculed or cast out? Or even tortured and killed? But did that not also happen to great leaders of change in history before you and me? People like Jesus, but also recently people like Einstein, Gandhi and Martin Luther King?
    Thanks Suzanne.

  28. ‘ expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems ‘ Indeed that is accepted as a normal. Even more and more I hear people saying that they will go back to the doctor and this time they will demand he/she fix the problem they have. It is that the demand gets stronger as an opposite of the fact that the pull towards more responsibility is there too. So to keep this as a normal instead of being more honest about the fact that a doctor can just do the medical part as a part of our healing if needed but we are the ones who should also put effort in what we need for a change which will support the healing.

    1. You mention the concept of ‘demand’ Sylvia. There is only ever supply if it’s demanded, and so have we, throngs of people/humanity, been the ones demanding to be fixed, and so we create a supply of doctors who are educated to think that is what they must then do, fix the symptoms. We have lessened the potential of the doctor but capping with being able to cure (perhaps) but not heal, and for the world today, this IS the normal.
      Remember it was Plato who first said ‘the part can never be healed unless the whole is healed’. We have made it the norm for doctors to only treat parts, and condemn anyone who does look at the whole as being quacks.

  29. It is a sad indictment of society that so many of us have fallen into the trap of thinking that behaviours that are commonplace among a number of people, makes those behaviours normal. This is very far from the truth as often people become blind followers and have not felt for themselves if following or performing what others do, feels true for them.

  30. Suzanne, your list of what we accept as ‘normal’ is really quite alarming. But sadly it is true, that the more these things become commonplace, the more they are accepted as simply being ‘part of life’. Then the focus seems to be on finding an overall solution, rather than introducing an understanding of why someone might get involved in such behaviour. How different would it be if we all lived knowing and appreciating our own amazingness, and that this was our normal. Our society would look and be very different to how is does today.

  31. Yes, we give far too much power away to the so called normalcies of life and never do we question or feel into, is this true or is this even serving? Of course when we don’t question, it is serving us all as it gives up an excuse to be irresponsible and not step up or make a change.

  32. It seems to me that many people are seeking more and more extreme ways to stimulate their senses, many of them not very loving but because more people are doing so it became the norm. But surely this is not in any way something we should be guided by. Perhaps we should return our attention to ‘common sense’ rather than what is perceived as normal, for common sense has a true and unchanging essence. Common sense may not sound particularly exciting but we need to understand where our motivation for excitement and excessive stimulation comes from before we judge it as such. We may find that returning to common sense is actually a very beautiful way of being.

  33. It’s true that what we can do because it is considered ‘normal’ or ‘acceptable’ can be very damaging and yet not questioned because many are doing it.. And yet there are things which are truly supportive and healing for us and they can be attacked and denigrated because they are not the ‘norm’ so to speak! Time to make energetic discernment our new normal and not just be creatures of habit…

  34. As long as we continue to define ourselves by comparing ourselves to the world outside of us and how we measure up to those around us, we will continue to buy into the lie of ‘normal’.

  35. I would say that we do feel that doctors should fix our medical problems and that it is their responsibility to do so not ours. We seem to have given up taking care of ourselves and have given that over to the medical profession while we can carry on indulging in all the activities that can damage our bodies or consume food and drink that can be equally damaging. We have got so used to the technical advance of medicine we rely on that rather than taking care of ourselves.

  36. I love that you have questioned normal for something not necessarily worth aspiring to unless it is what we establish for ourselves based on what is true for us regardless of other people. This is where so many of us go wrong because just because it’s considered normal doesn’t make it okay.

    1. Indeed Samantha, anything we consider as being normal we have to look at is as being a behaviour that is in many but that will not say that it is acceptable to the nature of our people, it only in a way shows the waywardness our societies are in.

  37. Absolutely agree that we need a new normal. The insidiousness of our current normal is so concerning considering how abusive those scenarios you describe are. And yet it is so acceptably normal to live where you are constantly dulling yourself with food and alcohol. So much so that when you stop doing those things society can very much shun you! Crazy that living well can then be considered an attack on the norm and thus a natural unhealthy reaction to squash that oddity. But the more people begin to see there is another way to live life that is about love and care for self at a very fine level the more it will become normal – it will take some time but eventually life on the planet will be lived much more harmoniously.

  38. It’s definitely time for a new normal – the current normal has not been working for a long time, we’re getting sicker, unhappier, more abusive. We need to scrap everything and start again.

  39. A great question Suzanne, what is normal, and that what is a normal behaviour is that then actually acceptable to the nature of us human beings. The normal as it is now defined does only look to the mass behaviour as being normal but if that mass behaviour is harming to us all we must give normal a complete different definition and not as something we have accepted as being to the norm for how we are allowed to behave ourselves.

  40. Great observation of what we consider normal, I remember the first Esoteric Breast Massage I had, I also reflected after the session in fact, that people might not consider it normal, during and before something within me knew that it was supportive and healing. And it was deeply. Yes, I agree we need to redefine our own normal, when we look around in life, there is so much crazy stuff going on that people call normal, just because a lot of people do it…time to reflect on our ideas of normal.

  41. I agree, we have made normal into something that we follow because many are doing it, instead of the knowing from within what feels natural to us.

  42. When we are very young, we know love, we know truth and we live from that knowing until we look around and realise this isn’t ‘normal’, so then we turn away from this knowing and try to fit in with what we see around us. Given this it makes sense then that we desperately try to attach ourselves to something that is considered normal, because we have abandoned our connection to the one thing that is truly normal – ourselves –
    and feel at sea. However if we reconnect, anything we do, say, think, feel, speak….etc. from and in connection to ourselves, our essence, who we really are, is then normal. It may not be common or usual, but it is us – it is our normal and therefore is normal.

  43. I was very intrigued by the difference between what is natural and what is normal. Normal is a trend of behaviour that we see all around us, but there is no gauge as to the health or quality of that behaviour. Now consider natural… its something that we feel inside of us first, and does not assess whether everyone else is doing it or not. It just fits, it works and its something that can be connected. Forget normal, I choose what feels natural.

  44. ‘Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something’. Absolutely…It’s like saying a teenager acting out and being impossible to handle is normal simply because they are 15. It’s an excuse we rely on so we don’t actually have to look at what might be causing the teenager to feel all the angst and anxiety they are expressing through their actions, because it’s actually not normal at all, we’ve just decided it is.

  45. The sad fact and what you have exposed here Suzanne is women being deeply intimate with each other in the most precious and pure ways, not in any way sexualised, simply women supporting each other to truly shine – is not normal in our current say. What is normal is comparison, jealousy and competition. The Esoteric Breast Massage takes us back to a time where women lived in the intimacy of sisterhood and brotherhood without the evils of jealousy and comparison coming in the way. And so each woman came to know herself for who she truly is – Godly. It is through each other that we remember this, connect to this and inspire one another – and this is what the Esoteric Breast Massage brings, straight from heaven itself.

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