Time for a New Normal

While having an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM), it dawned on me in the middle of the session, – that this healing modality might not be considered by some as normal!

I lay there imagining what someone might think if they burst in on my session. Considering our modern day society, I feel many of us would agree that a woman massaging another woman’s breast tissue – even performed gently with no sexual connotations –may not be considered as ‘normal’. And so, because the outcome of every single Esoteric Breast Massage I have ever had has always been exquisitely supportive and has felt like I was giving myself the gift of clarity and wisdom, a truly self-loving experience in many ways, I began to ponder on what actually is ‘normal’.

The Oxford dictionary defines normal as being that which “conforms to a standard: usual, typical or expected.” (1)

But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?

What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking. It is normal to see a fist fight outside a pub at midnight. It is typical to drink alcohol every day of the week. It is expected for many Muslim women to wear a veil over their face. It is normal to see men and or women sleeping around; it is typical for people to expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems; it is expected that mothers put their children first, before themselves. And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.

What this very basic insight highlights is that these are behaviours that not everyone does or would even consider doing themselves, yet they are ordinary, commonplace and quite conventional actions for some people.

So the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody. And yet in our society we accept and even champion behaviours based on what we deem is normal.

How does something become normal in society? New behaviours are performed by a group of people and when enough people are exhibiting that behaviour, it can then be accepted. It doesn’t even have to be the majority who either exhibit the behaviour or who accept it. However, it is considered normal because it is a behaviour that is typical or expected by a particular group. Once behaviour is repeated, it easily achieves the ‘normal’ tag.

Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?

To get away with a behaviour that says if enough people do it, then by virtue of the numbers of people doing it, that then can become the new normal. But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?

Is ‘normal’ what we should be aspiring to?

If we are so fixated on being normal so we can judge others and ourselves and establish where we fit into society, then it is most decidedly time to create a new normal. Yes, the world dictates what is normal, but should it be this way? Should the world be allowed to name, assess, criticize, judge, disapprove and then condemn so-called normal behaviours?

Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal?

What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?

What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.

Written from living the inspirational teachings of Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and Esoteric Breast Massage practitioners worldwide.

By Suzanne Anderssen, Brisbane, Australia

(1) http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/normal

Further Reading:
Change your Life
Society’s Truth-Tellers Will Always Challenge The Status Quo

1,292 thoughts on “Time for a New Normal

  1. What is normal? Thank you Suzanne, I had to think about conversations I sometimes can have with parents about their teenagers and how everything teenagers do is seen as ‘normal’ because that’s what teenagers do. When I share with them that it does not have to be this way and how we don’t want to see the harm when we tolerate something that is not normal at all but devastating to everyone involved.

  2. You are so spot on with what you have shared Suzanne. It’s all our own creation to what we choose to put in the ‘normal’ box. We could really call it the ‘safe’ box.

    1. There is something very safe about being ‘normal’, about conforming and fitting in. We don’t get targeted, burnt at the stake, vilified. Yet it is sometimes not ‘true’ for us and therefore we crumble a little on the inside every day, till we have some very loud mental and or physical health conditions that we cannot ignore any more. Then we are presented with a new ‘normal’ to consider.

  3. How can we go ‘back to normal’ when normal is so far away from the truth of who we are. Today, it’s normal to not be in connection with your soul. Today, it’s normal to believe that we each don’t have an equal and very active relationship with God. Our current normal is so unnatural.

  4. I just love this blog. I read it many times and reflect on my life where I discovered more about the normals I accepted as normal in others around me and seemed to be a lie as I looked more clearly at it.
    Last week I had a business workshop with a group of managers and I was the only one officially disagreeing with the presenter. Because of this I was told that I was the only one and saying so it was saying that I was wrong. I saw the game of the energetic forces that try to set me off to mistrust myself even when I can clearly see what was offered was holding no truth in it.

  5. Powerful blog – Yes it is time for a new normal. A new livingness. A new, totally new, view on life and on our human existence. A fresh mind. And so we need a clear body. How? By starting to be honest about the small and large things in life that you possibly have preferred to not see or act on.

  6. I was lately in a business meeting in which a man was invited to give a workshop. He was discriminating and most were laughing. I did not and expressed not agreeing with his talking And then he asked me to leave and nobody said anything.
    They found me weird and the men inferred that all was ok with it so I was seen to be the strange one. The discrimination was accepted as normal by them. My normal is that we treat each other all with respect And equality no matter how many have that as their normal.

  7. Your blog has me pondering on how we can use the word ‘normal’ to keep ourselves less and sit in comfort. It’s seems to give us an end result, that if we hit it we say, that’s enough I’ve made it to normal, job done. A place of comfort that we don’t need to look beyond.

  8. What if there is no normal but just a way we choose to be. And that it doesn’t matter how many choosing the same it is always our individual responsibility what we choose and we may be on a superficial level hiding ourselves behind a group strength but in truth we all built our own karma by the way we chose. And deep inside we all know which games we play.

  9. Suzanne, your piece reminds me that our idea of normal is not always true and depends on the day, the crowd and the context, in most cases it is what is accepted at that moment in society is just that, an accepted norm, but it doesn’t ask the deeper question of what in fact is true and how it feels and that’s one for all of us to ask as many accepted norms do not in fact support us, so it comes back to us and our bodies and feeling what truly supports us.

  10. There can not be found a true definition of normal as that means that there is also a not normal. But in truth all is what it is and it is up to us not to give one more value then the other because more people are in that same pattern. It does not say anything of there is a true divine quality in it that is up to us to feel and to be honest and not to compare with others. The truth we find in our body.

  11. Many normals of today will, like any normals in the past, proven to be not normal and even wrong, dangerous or damaging in the future. My personal little game: which of the normals of today will be proven to be not true and therefore will be deemed not normal?

  12. Yes – Suzanne, and what came up when reading this is how we are never ever to wait for a person or majority to live what is actually normal – but living what is truly normal myself first, the rest will follow..

    1. Oooh, beautifully put Danna. Something I will say to my daughter as she moves into the teenage years, seeing things that confuse her and might make her want to copy, to be seen as ‘normal’. But we are not to wait for the rest of the world to catch up to true normal, but rather live it first and be the start.

      1. Exactly well shared, and yes we need that reflection very much as teenagers – one of truth and encouraging our young to be in authority of what they truly want in life. Yes- Making the very start yourself.

  13. What if our new true normal is that we make sure that in every movement we make in life we feel the service to all is included. And if someone doesn’t make it about all ( including oneself) we stop the person and ask what is going on and support them to get back to themselves and their love for all people equally.

  14. First off great to have a discussion about what is normal? And yes who decides this is normal? I also feel this goes hand in hand with what do we tolerate and also what do we as society demand. For instance if we are so low and exhausted and depressed with our life that we feel it is acceptable to drink alcohol every single day after work instead of looking at why we are low, exhausted, depressed or stressed we have instead, as a society, demanded having alcohol to avoid feeling as normal. With regards to breast massage I put my hands up to say years ago I would have found this to be a bit weird. However, since this time when Universal Medicine first mentioned the new modality Esoteric Breast Massage because I knew of the utmost integrity (both physically and energetically) Universal Medicine holds, lives, presents and teaches, especially when with a client and because the reason for this modality had been given (the rise in breast cancer, the disconnection women have from this area of their body and that once re-connected to offers a true healing for us) I knew this was an absolute blessing for all women. And it is. Practiced only by women on women where the practitioners genuinely live by an truly inspiring code of ethics and practice as stipulated in the Esoteric Practitioners Association I now feel completely different about this. But only with this specific Esoteric Breast Massage modality, not all breasts massages, because I know of the absolute truth and integrity of this modality and the true healing it offers a woman as I have have felt this in EBM sessions.

  15. Are some of these things ‘normal’ or have we just become de-sensitised to them? There needs to be some very honest discussion around the things that we are accepting as normal and reflection on why we are holding back from speaking up about what is true.

  16. So much of what we have normalised is, frankly, unacceptable when considered in the light of human decency and respect. But, because we have turned a blind eye to the unacceptable, and accepted what is thrust on us in terms of ideals and beliefs, we’ve made these things very ‘every day’. It takes a certain clarity to start to question that which we have accepted as part of the landscape of ordinary life.

  17. The super-gentle touch experienced in the Esoteric Breast Massage, and the depth of sacredness this profound therapy conveys to the women who receive it, should be our absolute normal. The fact that it isn’t, and is even questioned by some, is in truth deeply abnormal. We live, in general and overall, nowhere near the level of delicateness and honouring on offer to us though the EBM, accepting levels of decency far below that which is available to us – accepting abuse.

  18. Great blog Suzanne, I agree that ‘normal’ is associated with everyone else actually doing something, it’s becoming an acceptable norm that teenagers will either experiment with drugs, or become regular users, as with alcohol, yet if we start to be honest about what this does to the body would we really accept it as the norm or educate our children differently from our own reflections, and responsibility to ourselves and society.

  19. People use the normals, the collective behaviors, as a way to confirm themselves that they are doing well.
    Lately we see illness and diseases increasing fast. I notice there comes a new normal.
    Most people have a physical or medical psychological issue going on and it is accepted as normal if you have at least one thing. Less normal it becomes if you feel vital and healthy.

  20. Yesterday I was talking to a nurse whose job it is to do health checks on as many people as possible in the local area. She told me that it is now normal that the children she tests have diabetes and quite often their parents too. She feels that the increase in sugar consumption especially in energy drinks is the major contributor.

    1. That’s certainly an example of a ‘normal’ that we don’t want to be normal and there is a danger of it just being ‘how it is’ rather than us stopping to truly question what is going on, on every level, that this is happening…

  21. Thank you Suzanne I agree time for a new normal, ” what if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings? ” All would expand from this true normal.

  22. As more and more people are inspired to choose a more loving way to live then The Way of The Livingness as presented and lived by Serge Benhayon will become normal.

  23. It could be considered a dangerous word in how it’s used because of the very fact it doesn’t define the quality of what is being done. Normal merely requires enough people to do something for a period of time for it to be considered normal. It’s no surprise in a world that lifts doing in a way that actually brings the quality we live in down. For me we need to throw the way we use normal out and bring back a level of care that looks directly at quality, a true quality. If the quality doesn’t hit the mark then we should hold to the point we are at and not walk further into doing more. All of us need to question normal as what is deemed normal now wasn’t accepted by generations from the past and we can’t just keep moving normal around to suit the time and date we appear in now.

  24. We are typically quick to judge something at face value without considering the actual quality of the expression. Quality is everything and everybody wants quality of life, hence this ought to be our marker of a true society not behaviour.

  25. “Normal” definitely does not equate to something being true for us! And it can be a convenient label we use to justify doing something (or not doing something) rather than being honest with ourself about whether it really feels true to us or not…

  26. We have to be able to differentiate clearly between something that may not be conventional, with something that is not normal. Conventional or unconventional has to do with accepted social conventions. Normal has an aspect to it as well, but it is also about the body. What is normal or abnormal is something we have to start feeling with the body because the concept of normality is something innate to us. Conventions are always constructions (creations).

  27. It is just in our movements each and every day, how we are with ourselves and each other, that is what I am trialling at the moment, bringing a loving discipline to myself each day, without perfection, to change how I feel and what I allow in each day. Not dying on the sword with myself if I am not perfect in my thoughts, feelings and actions throughout the day, but being clear with myself, moving in a way that is in the knowing of who I am and where I am from, this is feeling very loving and very supportive for myself.

  28. Who knew a word could hide so much and yet normal is one of those words. Is there a ‘normal’ institute or who are what heads up the definition of what is normal. We have made normal that broad and unclear that it’s normal to be confused in the fact of what normal is. It’s a word that isn’t truly needed as there are no grey areas in life, it either is or it is not and then from there life is a very personal experience that is about how you are and how this ‘how’ impacts all that is around you. Let’s not look for the comfort of normal as this has parts hidden from us, let’s bring back things to their true origins.

  29. As I make different choices in my life and re-connect with my body as never before, the deeper level of awareness and delicateness within myself and with others IS the ‘new-normal’ now.A far cry from the tom-boy image of my teens and conforming to what felt normal to everyone in order to fit in.
    “What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”

    1. Me too Stephanie, it is a far cry from what I would have called normal and that teaches me that there is a well, an untapped resource that is waiting for me to re-discover. It is a well of love which is still, and at ease with no tension. Brought into activity it is joyful, playful, there is a flow and an ease even in unpleasant or difficult situations. Without questioning our ‘normal’ we don’t see or feel the well we are missing.

  30. “What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” Spot on, what if normal is simply being true to how we feel? What if normal is never letting the truth go unspoken? What if normal is not allowing one iota of abuse?

  31. ” What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?
    What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour. ” Wonderful Suzanne this should be on the crib of ever child, and their bedroom.

  32. It is such a freedom to make our own normals. To not depend on one or more others and definitely it means nothing if many or a big group or a whole country make a certain behavior as a normal or a ‘good’. We easily get misled by it. But if we stay true to our body we cannot be mislead.

  33. What does normal really mean? it has been so misused and bastardised, because we chose to live so far from the truth. We use right and wrong as a marker for what is normal instead of feeling what we know to be true. I agree Suzanne, it is definitely time for a new normal.

  34. A brilliant blog Suzanne exposing what we accept as ‘normal in society that is often very harming and damaging to our health and well being. It is crazy to think that when you begin to love yourself and become more honouring of yourself you are seen as being different and not ‘normal’, time for a new ‘normal’ and to raise the current standard of living because abusive behaviours are rising everywhere in society.

  35. There is nothing normal about having the rates of illness and disease that we now have so definitely it is time for a new normal

  36. Instead of being recipients of life like a post box receiving a bunch of junk mail, what would it be like if we got on the front foot and opened our door and took action to initiate what we feel is needed in the world today? Would we then be resentful victims of circumstance? Or be free in our heart because we have activated our part? Your words here Suzanne show me how I can make my new normal about initiating what I know is right instead of waiting for life’s circumstances to hand it on a plate to me.

  37. What is normal differs from one person to another, and it keeps changing as we change – many years ago, drinking alcohol every day and smoking cigarette used to be my normal. It is totally personal and subjective. I guess we each move on at our own pace and attune ourselves to what agrees with every fibre of our own being.

  38. Is there really such a thing as “normal” and is what’s normal for me what’s normal for you? And is even my normal fixed? What if everyday we could take it to the next level and so that way our normal is constantly expanding.

  39. Big YES! We cap ourselves so badly when we conform to someone else’s picture of normal. We have to embrace what our foundations are and what brings us to an ease within our body and be prepared to live that in full so others can see that is normal even if it stands out.

  40. Whole my life I felt confused about myself as I was not confirmed in the love I am but get reflected from around me that we should not be that love we all are but please the world by fulfilling the demands of others. I notice that since I started to live more from my natural me how some people embrace me and others resist as I don’t behave like them. This makes people feel uncomfortable with themselves, with their stuck behaviors.

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