Time for a New Normal

While having an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM), it dawned on me in the middle of the session, – that this healing modality might not be considered by some as normal!

I lay there imagining what someone might think if they burst in on my session. Considering our modern day society, I feel many of us would agree that a woman massaging another woman’s breast tissue – even performed gently with no sexual connotations –may not be considered as ‘normal’. And so, because the outcome of every single Esoteric Breast Massage I have ever had has always been exquisitely supportive and has felt like I was giving myself the gift of clarity and wisdom, a truly self-loving experience in many ways, I began to ponder on what actually is ‘normal’.

The Oxford dictionary defines normal as being that which “conforms to a standard: usual, typical or expected.” (1)

But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?

What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking. It is normal to see a fist fight outside a pub at midnight. It is typical to drink alcohol every day of the week. It is expected for many Muslim women to wear a veil over their face. It is normal to see men and or women sleeping around; it is typical for people to expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems; it is expected that mothers put their children first, before themselves. And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.

What this very basic insight highlights is that these are behaviours that not everyone does or would even consider doing themselves, yet they are ordinary, commonplace and quite conventional actions for some people.

So the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody. And yet in our society we accept and even champion behaviours based on what we deem is normal.

How does something become normal in society? New behaviours are performed by a group of people and when enough people are exhibiting that behaviour, it can then be accepted. It doesn’t even have to be the majority who either exhibit the behaviour or who accept it. However, it is considered normal because it is a behaviour that is typical or expected by a particular group. Once behaviour is repeated, it easily achieves the ‘normal’ tag.

Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?

To get away with a behaviour that says if enough people do it, then by virtue of the numbers of people doing it, that then can become the new normal. But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?

Is ‘normal’ what we should be aspiring to?

If we are so fixated on being normal so we can judge others and ourselves and establish where we fit into society, then it is most decidedly time to create a new normal. Yes, the world dictates what is normal, but should it be this way? Should the world be allowed to name, assess, criticize, judge, disapprove and then condemn so-called normal behaviours?

Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal?

What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?

What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.

Written from living the inspirational teachings of Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and Esoteric Breast Massage practitioners worldwide.

By Suzanne Anderssen, Brisbane, Australia

(1) http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/normal

Further Reading:
Change your Life
Society’s Truth-Tellers Will Always Challenge The Status Quo

1,343 thoughts on “Time for a New Normal

  1. I totally agree Suzanne. Our current view of what ‘normal’ is seems to be that of behaviours in which abuse and disregard for one another are included. As such we are completely diminishing the possibility of living our true potential from the true commonality we are all equally connected to, that is our love within. Living with love is our true ‘normal’ and is possible to live in every aspect of our lives by each and every one of us. It is time to stand up for a new normal, one that inspires us all to live the greatness of who we are, together.

  2. “But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?” – Absolutely I would say it does and even if with just one person what we consider to be normal or expected can change over time, according to how we perceive the world through any beliefs or ideals we may hold. So who is ‘right’ or what is true? What if there is an innate inability in all of us to sense or know from our body the quality behind anything, so rather than judging something by comparing it to a belief or ideal we feel instead what is there and if it correlates with our whole body or not…

  3. Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” Great question! So are we all using the ‘normal card’, to stay in our comforts and indulgences because everybody else is? The other question that could be asked is, when do we take responsibility for our lives, for our choices? Do we wait till life delivers a wake up call in the form of something that turns your world upside down, as illness and disease tend to do. And then wonder why is this happening to me, but for years you have ignored the call to make small changes. I have come to understand that we do not ever get away with anything, what we put out is what we get back.

  4. Yes indeed – time for a new normal where women have a modality that deeply supports them to re-claim the delicate and sacred beings that they are.

  5. How constricted are we by what other people might think? Years ago massage was not seen with the sexual connotations it now has, so why don’t we ask why we have made everything sexual rather than blame a modality that is incredible healing to the connective tissue as well as the wellbeing of the person receiving the treatment.

  6. At this point in my life I know that the only thing that is normal to me, is something that feels true to me. Whether I am the only person or there are many people who feel the same, does not matter.

  7. Doesn’t the Oxford dictionary change its definitions to reflect how people are interpreting a word? They do and so we have no absoluteness in the meaning of words. We need to put absoluteness back into words and the Unimedpedia is dedicated to such a purpose.

    1. We have even accepted that this is normal, to keep redefining words to suit the way we are living and perceiving things at the time. Words have a vibrational quality. I see it in the sound wave formation when I record people talking. As with everything in life, there is a true vibration or quality to a word, then there is everything else.

  8. To say that that what is normal is what is evolutionary for us, that is a great bar on what normal can be, something which support us to be more of who we are.

    1. Well said! we need to set the standard of what is normal and honour what we feel inside not continue to benchmark our normal with what everyone else is doing which might well be living a zombie way of life.

    2. Yes agreed Elizabeth. We need to keep living and expressing what we know is true. It is interesting to observe that when a higher standard of living is offered or reflected, one that represents our true potential and that serves to pull us up or support our evolution, we seem to reject it, condemn it or resist it in any way so as not to step out of the comfort and live with greater responsibility. Yet our bodies cannot tolerate this resistance forever and we are clearly showing signs of this through our collective worsening health and well-being, and equally seen through our worsening abusive behaviours.

  9. Thank you Suzanne, for it shows us the lack of truth in our world..where we have put our needs before truth. Hence, when such truth is brought back into our humanity — this amazing Esoteric Breast Massage Modality, the reaction to it not being ‘normal’ shows us the lack of truth we have accepted.. Thank you for sharing this with us.

  10. To me we simply call something normal because we do not want to be honest with ourselves and truly feel what this ‘normal’ means and does to us. Ín general this normal is not as innocent as we think it is, the things we call normal because they appear in our societies are abusive by nature and not only to the persons directly involved but to to all of us as bystanders that continue to allow this to happen over and over again. Our normal has a consequence, and we can everyday read about the atrocities that are the result of this ‘normal’. Our normal we erroneously try to protect or find safety in because it is the way we know life to be.

  11. We accept behaviour because we do not collectively act in saying that it is not acceptable. It is from the separation we live in that we are not able to make this collective statement because in this separation we are able to hold on to our own ideals and beliefs and in that separation we think that we are not bound by the universal laws we in truth all are deeply connected with.

  12. When we allow those outside ‘norms’ to dictate how we are, it’s a sure sign we’ve lost our way in who we are. We all know a decency, a respect for ourselves and for others and somehow we’ve allowed that to be short changed and we’ve accepted and tolerated behaviour which we know is not right and so long as it doesn’t impact us, we turn a blind eye. We’ve become small and make it about us alone, our tribe, our family, ourselves and in loosing the connection to the bigness of who we all are, we allow the smallness … for we are big, and we all know that if something happens to any one of us all of us are impacted in some way … this is normal and not something we currently live but something we will live again one day. And our way there is for each of us to look at our normals and consider does this normal support all of us, nurture all of us and allow the expression of the love we are?

  13. What is normal is what is being accepted by the mass majority. This only means it is something most people agree with. It does not ever mean it is the best, appropriate, responsible, honest, true, healthy, wise way. It does though reflect, where we are at collectively as people.

    1. I can agree with that diningwithoneandwithlove, that what we call our normal today is because we collectively are choosing this to be our normal, not realising what us accepting this normal is bringing to us as individuals and our society at large. You only have to look into a newspaper to read about what living this irresponsible way brings to us on a daily basis.

  14. It is true, we don’t need to scratch too far below the surface to see what we have taken as ‘normal’ is not conducive to a healthy body and psychology. It misses the key aspects of why we are here and the connection that is available to us all, the marker of all truth – the love within our body.

  15. The normal we aspire to should never be a decline of what we deep down know to be true but should always meet our deepest standards and allow us to expand from there, setting a new normal with every breath we take.

  16. Most of what the world considers as ‘normal’ is not at all normal but actually abusive: how have we ended up with a world so full of abuse that killing each other in wars is ‘normal’? We might think we’re far away from where the wars are happening but if we look more closely we see the abuses we live with and perpetuate in a daily basis, within ourselves and one another- those small and everyday ways that we think and speak about ourselves that aren’t loving, but ‘normal’ and that contribute to the ‘normal’ of our world on a much grander scale. It starts with us and the standards of normal that we set for ourselves.

  17. When we make our normals on our own we shock our surrounding, shaking their comfort, and people can go in reaction towards being challenged by their comforts of their normal that they like to keep.

  18. I do not live like everyone else in many aspects. It is tough on me, if I see myself as the “unnormal” . The more you claim and live what is true in an absoluteness, it won´t look “unnormal” as the truth will never truly appear like that. No matter how much someone would fight it or question it, it is undoubtable.

  19. Interesting to look at what principles have to be ticked so that society announce something as “normal”. Would it be something, that asks for more responsibility and supports evolution and growth out of the lineal way of life or would something be claimed as normal be something that asks us NOT to reflect on already existing systems, behaviours, calling for more responsibility or scrutinize if we are truly healthy and happy as human beings?!

  20. It appears that so many follow along with what they believe is normal without even discerning whether this normal could be harming to them. It’s the case of ‘everyone’s doing it so I had better join in otherwise I’ll stick out for not doing so’. There are so many so-called normals, several of which you have quoted, that many in society have seemingly blindly accepted, where in truth they are so far away from it. Yes, it is definitely “time for a new normal” and we are the ones to claim it as the truth for us.

  21. Accepting the accepted ‘normal’ we are often accepting the lowest common denominator and by doing so we choose irresponsibility.

  22. Is it not disconcerting to consider that for a woman to have her breasts massaged in a sexual way by another woman or a man are considered normal and expected – whereas for a woman to massage another woman’s breasts without an ounce of sexual intent is not? It is telling of how far we strayed from the pristineness we ought to live and relate to each there with, that an act of such deep respect and care for the woman is handed over to the sceptical and ludicrous view. It is an indictment of the gross disrespect and abuse of woman what we have allowed to be ‘normal’ – tragically so.

  23. Normal should not be defined as what the majority do. The majority of people drink alcohol, a known poison, for example, but should we therefore consider it normal to drink a poison? I am fairly sure that when I was a child, most people smoked and certainly those that didn’t still smoked because they couldn’t avoid breathing other people’s smoke in. Smoking was then considered normal even though it was killing us all. So surely the definition of normal needs to be changed or rather perhaps changed back to exclude behaviours that hold no true good for us.

  24. “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behavior.” a great call here, to re-define normal to being something that is true and inline with what is supportive for all, not a way that happens to be common.

  25. It is so time for a new normal, time for a new but old movement that brings back truth, love and joy as being the normal.

  26. And if we are truly ready to understand our selves our normal continues to change, deepen and as this happens, we adjust. What do we adjust to? To living from what we have felt is the next level of normal for ourselves. A very intimate journey each can only make for themselves.

  27. As we are the world, it is our responsibility what we live as normal. As we are the examples by the way we live for our next generations. This is worth pondering on.

    1. Yes, we only have the normal we have from watching how others have lived and how others have responded to how they lived. It has all been from looking outside. When the blinkers are taken off and you can feel the Love that is offered from your body constantly there is a new way to move, eat, think and this is offered as a reflection without words, so others can see there is another way should they also choose to make their own bodies the marker of truth that it has and will always be.

  28. Not everything is everyone’s cup of tea, I couldn’t think of anything worse than a deep tissue massage but others love them. I don’t judge them and it would be great if that was a two way street in life. Unfortunately in the age of the digital era people seem to becoming less open and more derisive and dismissive of anything that doesn’t fit into their realm of thinking. Strange really as you would have thought it would broaden our horizon’s but rather we are narrower in our thinking much as it was in wartime Europe under Nazi rule. The more accepting and understanding of ourselves we become the more we will be able to accept others.

  29. When one’s ‘normal’ steps out of the comfortable box, it exposes all the comfort we have chosen for many a life.

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