The Truth of Love – Equally for All

by Sarah Davis, Goonellabah NSW


A lovely and wise young woman recently said to me that “the love I was holding back was not actually mine to hold back – that love is for all, equally”. This was in the context of a group discussion of how we ‘hold back’ expressing love, our true essence, in life.

When the young woman said these words it was like I had a ‘high speed download’ – or what some may call a ‘moment of revelation’ – where my understanding in one moment expanded. I immediately felt how the nature of love is unity, equality – that it cannot be separated – it cannot be for one person and not the other, it is always for All – without exception.

From this I then connected to the deep understanding and feeling that love is our essence, it is what we are made of and therefore it is everyone’s right to feel it and receive it. I felt how if I choose to hold back my love and natural expression (often through beliefs and ideals, i.e., ‘I am not enough’; ‘it is not safe to trust’; ‘fear of rejection’; etc) I am not only denying myself ­– I am denying others love, which through reflection can inspire them to re-connect to that same love which is within them.

Who am I to hold back something that is meant for everybody?

To be honest I have lived like I have that right – to hold back love like it is mine to decide what to do with, and what not to. I have placed many conditions on sharing love. The other person needs to do something for me first, then I will open to them or share with them. I have wielded this in many cases where I would be open and ‘loving’ to one person, but not to another. How would I pick and choose this? Generally I would be ‘loving’ to those who please me, or whom I want to please; ‘unloving’ to those who displease, annoy or threaten me. A note here that my being ‘unloving’ did not often look horrible or mean – it was usually in the form of ‘politeness’– for this is considered socially appropriate behaviour and is a way to ‘play it safe’. Though how ‘safe’ is it truly to hold back something which is both our essence and our right to feel and express? In the attempt to hold back or ‘protect myself’ from, I was not aware that I was hurting myself through being separate to the love that I am. I had the commonly held belief that I could love myself and not another – ‘be selective’ in other words. For me, politeness in the place of love became a way of being and interacting that led to superficial relationships whereby I always felt alone – however, in reflection I was creating this separation in the first place by not first connecting to the love that I am and expressing that to another. A world without love does not make for a common or inspiring vision, however we must be honest about the fact that politeness does not replace love. On a superficial level politeness can help a system function – turn taking, sharing, listening to others, etc. However, on a deeper human level, politeness alone falls short of bringing true connection and true relationship – life then becomes a game of ‘pretending’ and ‘not offending’, rather than true expression.

True, we have free will which allows us to choose our expression; though what part of us thinks it is ‘ok’, ‘fine’, ‘justified’, ‘normal’ or perhaps even ‘good’ to hold back love?

What part of us (belief, ideal, energy) allows ‘politeness’, ‘tolerance’, the ‘holding of grudges’, right through to the ‘us and them’ beliefs which justify atrocities – to be considered acceptable forms of relating? And furthermore, what part of us falls for the belief that we can live our lives holding back love, and then press some ‘on’ button for our friends and family? When the truth is felt, that love is for all equally, none of our loveless actions can be justified.

I imagine if I were in a desert with humanity and we were all thirsty – I carry an endless cup of water. I know that everyone can find their own cup of water, however many are not aware of this. When I offer my ‘cup of water’ to someone else, it can firstly be a reminder that they are thirsty and even need a drink, as well as a reminder and inspiration to seek out and claim their own ‘endless cup’, which is no further than right there within them.

However, I share it only with some, leaving others thirsty.

When I feel and connect to the truth of love, it is absolutely without a doubt for all equally – the ‘idea’ of holding it back seems totally out of place, however all too common, as under certain conditions we ‘pick and choose’, rather than sharing freely what is in endless supply and naturally for us all.

472 thoughts on “The Truth of Love – Equally for All

  1. When we place love as a measure of how much we give in life to certain people and not all we cut ourselves off and hold ourselves back from receiving the copious amounts of love on offer. Holding back love in this way has a domino effect not only on our lives but on others too. It always brings it back to choice and the responsibility to bring all that we are into every moment. Love is abundant when shared with all equally so.

  2. Oh how I have held back love all my life and how I have rejected love….. however these days I am no longer rejecting love, but am embracing love and creating the space for expressing all the love that I am without perfection.

  3. Most of humanity is ‘playing it safe’ and sticking to old paradigms, even though it is blatantly obvious that these old patterns are leading to more and more mayhem, illness and dysfunction on our planet

  4. The honesty in which you share is deeply inspiring as is embodying the fact that we are the love that others seek… but they too are what they seek and they may only need us to be open to share our endless cup with them to reawaken to this fact.

  5. How common is it to make our life about family, friends, the religion we grow up with. I sure lived in this way and I am letting go of these beliefs that separate and are never for the whole. Like you say Sarah ‘ it cannot be for one person and not the other, it is always for All – without exception.’

    1. Thank you Annelies, yes life is set up to be very prejudiced towards some, to share a selective version of love, instead of the all encompassing true love that holds and shares with all equally.

  6. I recently attended an absolutely amazing expression and presentation workshop by Universal Medicine via webcast and one of the things that really stood out for me and changed my perception was how I used to see ‘holding back’. I used to think holding back was about stopping and holding back my expression, as in not saying what needed to be said etc. But what I learnt was that it’s not really possible to just hold it back because energy is constantly flowing through us. For something to look as though it is being held back, something else has to be running through instead. We are non stop expressing one energy or the other. So if I am holding back on love, I am letting something else being expressed. I have said ‘holding back’ so many times since I got to know the term, but this new understanding has supported me to see what is truly happening when I feel myself holding back, and offered me the opportunity to see how I cannot escape from responsibility.

    1. Great realisation Fumiyo and something that totally makes sense, if a vacuum is created it will be filled. When we choose to hold back we are giving permission for something else to enter so what energy are we letting in and how is this then expressed?

  7. “The love I was holding back was not actually mine to hold back – that love is for all, equally”. I find this a truly powerful and inspiring statement. Appreciating what you have elucidated upon here, Sarah, is truly profound.

    1. Jstewart51 I agree, and to live this may give us some insight into the amazing life of Serge Benhayon! We have so many beliefs about love, that “love hurts”, and that people who “wear their heart on their sleeve” are more vulnerable to being hurt. We hold it back believing we are protecting ourselves but we are missing out on a truly beautiful, expansive and universal experience by being connected to and sharing love as it truly is. The false beliefs and ideals about love are what can hold us back from truly exploring and feeling what love is for ourselves.

      1. So true, Melinda, and the reflection given by Serge Benhayon, his family and all that have been inspired by them to not hold back and instead share love is gorgeous to behold. This is an inspiration and so the ripple of love forever expands.

  8. It’s very interesting to read the many forays of what it means to express love, or not. Certainly, starting and having this conversation is the start of love, as without the awareness how will you know the truth of love. .

  9. If you walk with joy in your step, you can’t make it so only some people will know. If you are angry or upset you can’t delineate who will be affected either – it works the same way. There are no barricades or boundaries where energy is concerned, so as you so beautifully ask Sarah which pool of energy are we contributing to? are we expressing and moving with Love?

  10. What you have shared here is about getting the small self out of the way and bringing the Universal self through. We kind of think of love as favour, and as reward and punishment (in terms of withdrawing it), it’s a game of give and take and on and off – but this is mostly emotional love. This is a great line Sarah that exposes the idea that we also need to receive love from others instead of it being who we are “I am not only denying myself – I am denying others love, which through reflection can inspire them to re-connect to that same love which is within them.” There are so many myths about love and we live these untruths to our enormous detriment. Thank you for putting this drop of truth about love back into the ocean.

  11. We cannot put boundaries on something that cannot be bound! Love is an energy, it is where we are from, who we are, what we are made of, so to hold it back is such an illusion yet is how we harm ourselves because it creates separation. Us and them, individuality – from where we can cause harm to another by acting in a way that completely denies the love we are from.

  12. When we hold back any love that is there to be expressed we deny each other the opportunity to grow from that experience – and ultimately, we all miss out.

  13. I adore every part of this article. It totally exposes that true selfishness is actually in holding back our love from ourselves, as this then means that we hold it back from all others. A moment to deeply ponder and surrender to feeling every where this affects my life as there is the deep inner knowing that everyone deserves to feel the beauty of love and to know that it comes from within themselves.

  14. “the love I was holding back was not actually mine to hold back – that love is for all, equally” this reveals our responsibility to live the love that we are in every moment and movement that we are.

    1. When you mention movements, that shares how important it is to live love not just speak love or show love. It is our very essence and as such will ooze out in all our movements.

  15. To know love, true love is grand. To live love, true love is natural. Our bodies, and everyone else’s melts when we feel our love, sharing with others is something that we cannot hold back forever, as we surrender and embrace our love in full it simply oozes from us.

  16. It is certainly a different look at love and how we think we can turn it off and on or turn its attention towards one and not everyone. We create a version of love and reshape its physical meaning in order to leave the grandness and equal ness of true love in the shadows and play out the version that we then think love is.

  17. “Who am I to hold back something that is meant for everybody?” Great question, there is so much that we do hold back from and I have many times in my life asked why. The reason is that I feel that I wasn’t enough, or that I wasn’t loving enough, but each of these examples have the ‘I’ in it. I was always coming from a perspective of me as an individual, not thinking about the whole, everybody, that if I do hold back who I am, then that can and does impact on everyone. So when I feel I am holding back, I do bring my awareness back to this fact!!

  18. What a great blog. We can want to hold on to or own love, make it ours and keep it special. But if we do that, it’s not love. Love is an emanation that can’t help but flow and pour out of us. We all have access to that Love as it is who we are.

  19. I love the reminder you bring to all of us Sarah that we are part of a vast whole, and that we each have a part of that whole to bring, so for each of us who’ve reconnected to and know the love we are; why would we hold back on expressing that love with any other, for the truth is once we try and own and direct love, it is no longer love; love is there to be shared with all, and if we hold it back we hold it back from all including ourselves. And that’s a waste especially when we are all intrinsically made of love.

  20. We have so much certainty that the love we have is ours. It is ours to share, and ours to receive from another. But love is not a commodity for an individual to measure out. Love is a state of being, and the love is all encompassing, for it was never ours to begin with.

  21. With a true understanding of the nature of love, there would never be another war possible on this planet, There could be no separation between people or countries and we would know and live from harmony and equalises with all.
    “I immediately felt how the nature of love is unity, equality – that it cannot be separated – it cannot be for one person and not the other, it is always for All – without exception”.

  22. When one chooses awareness of their actions they start to feel how the many ways they are with others, are actions chosen to not be all the love they are.

  23. You have given me so much to consider this morning. This pick and choosing of love happens when we pick and choose when we will be loving to ourselves or not as well. What we do for ourselves we do for all others equally therefore when we drop self love in pockets of our lives we deem those areas less worthy of our love. The ripple effect is huge. A bit of a gulp moment for me today.

  24. In our world, we have the notions of private good (something I may not allow another to enjoy because I own it) and public good (something that all enjoy equally and no one can be excluded from). The notion of public good has a problematic aspect: if no one can be deprived from enjoying it, why do someone(s) have to pay for its generation? So, the cost of creating it rests upon specific ones, and the benefits are spread out. Thus, there is no real incentive to create it in the first place. Thanks God, God did not study economics and does not operate based in these terms! Otherwise, we would be truly condemned to be mere human beings living miserable lives with nothing true to return to and to make life truly worth it.

  25. “To be honest I have lived like I have that right – to hold back love like it is mine to decide what to do with, and what not to.” This is gold Sarah. Most of us walk around like it is our right to hold back something that is God given. It is not ours to decide what to do with. Love is who we are and it is Divine. It’s not for us or from us. It flows through us and is designed to be a flow that emanates out of us.

  26. Are we truly being loving when we share our love with some, but withhold it from others? Surely this then makes our love conditional, which means the people we do love may not qualify for our love at some point if they no longer meet our criteria. Thank you for this blog which debunks this way of being.

  27. I think most people could relate to this, especially in a situation where we have been hurt by another. It can be easy to then hold back from expressing your love with them instead of holding steady and remaining truly open regardless of what the outcome will be.

  28. When we hold back love we are placing a limit on love, to embrace love and then share it with others equally we experience a beautiful quality that enriches and deepens all our relationships.

  29. “I share it only with some, leaving others thirsty” – I can so relate to this and the way you have described it makes me aware how I think I have to keep supplying the water, not believing everyone does have their own cup and they do have the equal access, and what stops me from sharing the cup with everyone is that somehow I am holding a belief that there is a limit on supply. And the only way to smash this belief is to just give it a go.

  30. ” it cannot be for one person and not the other, it is always for All – without exception. ” this is so true for what comes from the all must be for the all and return to the all .

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