The illusion that getting ‘smashed’ is fun

by Kim Schultz, NSW

With my work Christmas party coming up I tried to wiggle my way out of it, saying that I was too tired to go and that there was no dairy free/gluten free menu, thinking that they would put me in the ‘too hard’ basket. WRONG!… the boss solved the problem in five minutes, speaking with the chefs to cater for my food request and offering to have someone drive me to the event.

At the time I thought ‘Bugger!’ as all my attempts to avoid it had failed. To be honest, I was concerned with how I was going to communicate and what I was going to say to people who were drunk… ‘What are we going to talk about?’ ‘How am I going to connect?’ I was also anxious that I would be seen as a ‘party-pooper’. Still, I did feel the pull to go – and how awesome it was to revisit my past, as it turned out.

During the course of the dinner people got trashed. No-one seemed interested in speaking with me once they’d had a few drinks. I started to feel on the outer; I noticed that when I spoke, they didn’t seem to be able to concentrate and were walking off half-way through my sentences – not seemingly interested in conversation or connection. I didn’t feel one ounce of judgment as I realised that in the past when I was totally off my nut, I would avoid anyone who was ‘straight’ – ‘cause I felt they were not ‘on my wave length’. So on this night instead, I could feel how in the past I would have affected others who were trying to connect to me when I was in this same state.

No-one seemed to be truly connecting. People were leaving the table all the time to go out back and smoke – again I remembered that I used to do this. As I sat there, I felt how others must have felt with my leaving the table to ‘drag back a scoob’ and return to the table, and if not – not returning at all because the scoob would turn into ecstasy and I wouldn’t return home until the next day.

The manager gave a ‘thank you’ speech – whilst holding himself up against the table, as he was intoxicated. Everyone applauded the speech – I clapped automatically because everyone else did. In truth, I did not want to clap; I did only because I did not want to appear like a snob. After clapping I felt horrible, as I had supported something that did not feel right to me. In the past I would not have blinked – it would have all seemed very ‘normal’. But as this was the first time I have ever attended a Christmas function and not used any substances, I was able to truly feel how it felt having someone say ‘thank you’ when really drunk – I was literally thrown back into my chair as the words felt totally empty and cold and I felt unable to connect to him.

Once I got home I felt so blessed to have experienced the night, as it was deeply healing to have the reflection of how I had been living my life – using substances to numb myself – NOBODY HOME IN THIS BODY – so as not to feel how overwhelmed I was with life and the hurts I carried; not to mention the tons of abuse I allowed from others and to myself through not wanting to feel my deep emptiness.

The night also confirmed that I didn’t have to join in just to be like everyone else to feel a part of the gang. It also definitely cured any thoughts that I am missing out on ‘FUN’ – as I could clearly feel how people changed and totally disconnected from themselves and from me after consuming drugs and alcohol.

I felt the pull to go to this event and got a massive healing as I got to feel how I have lived – and the effects my behaviour may have had on others. This is the benefit of getting out there and being ‘in the world’ – not hiding in my own comfort.

The work crew still saw me as me being a stick-in-the-mud and a ‘weirdo’ for not drinking. The most beautiful side of it all was that there was nothing for me to do apart from just to be and feel. Since that night I certainly feel more dedicated to my health and well-being without the use of drugs and alcohol to ‘get through’ life.

As I continue to learn to love me, I look forward to offering a TRUE reflection of how life can be so that others can see that there is another way.

Much love to Universal Medicine and all involved, helping me to re-connect to truth, and to my true self.

181 thoughts on “The illusion that getting ‘smashed’ is fun

  1. Like you Kim for a long time I never considered going out without having alcohol or my cigarettes with me. But now I go out and it’s like I have forgotten they even exist. Who said a leopard can’t change their spots….

  2. I recently had reservations about attending a neighbourhood BBQ and when I felt into it I realised these thoughts were coming from my mind and were not true, thoughts, such as will I be able to stay present with me while my neighbours are drinking alcohol, will they think I am odd that I don’t eat certain foods etc etc. I ended up going, but set the intention of being me in full and to not judge any behaviours that I deemed were different than mine. I spoke with the organisers and arranged to bring some of my own food and I had a really enjoyable time with my neighbours. My lesson from the evening was how I often allow expectations to colour my future experiences.

  3. That it is possible to celebrate without any substances, is something most people just can’t understand… It’s not in their lexicon. And that is not some pious semblance of joy… It can be true whole feeling of celebrating all of your body and your heart.

  4. I gave up drinking alcohol many years ago now and I really love my life and the community that has developed around me since then. It seems to me that if a friendship is dependant upon what we choose to drink then it is not really on very solid ground.

    1. You are right Richard, and there are so many instances where our social interactions are dependent upon actually not being present, being dulled to the point of not being able to feel. This is actually so and what does this say?

  5. It is that time of year again, the staff Christmas Party time. I was hoping to be able to put something on that was not just a booze fest this year. Being the one of the bosses, it is more difficult to avoid the party altogether, as I am the one that they are asking to run it. In the past, I have not paid for the staff to drink but they choose to with their own funds regardless. December has creeped up on me again and I want to think of something that might distract people from getting so trashed because as you describe in this blog, it’s not that interesting to be around, not to mention the smell and the loud talking in your ear. I love my staff and I love hanging out with them but when people get like that, it doesn’t really feel like your hanging out with them anymore.

  6. Sometimes it’s great to have our past choices reflected back to us, as it gives us a clear understanding of how those choices affected myself and other people, it is quite a sobering moment. To be able to go out and totally be yourself without any drugs, alcohol or stimulants is something to truly celebrate.

  7. Everything turns into a bizarre performance executed by disembodied human beings when we attend an event and don’t drink or take drugs, i.e. don’t try to alter who we are by what we ingest.

  8. I love that you were able to confirm and appreciate who far you have come Kim, going to events such as these and learning to hold yourself whilst others indulge in alcohol or drugs around you offers a reflection that is inspiring and healing for many.

  9. ‘Getting smashed is fun’ is so not true. I too used to believe in that but it’s just an agreement that we want to believe and share under the influence of alcohol or some other mind-altering substances, and we all know it is not true. It’s a pact. When I used to drink, I wanted everyone around me to be drinking so that this lie would not get exposed.

  10. Well, well Kim Shultz, your wild past revealed. It’s a beautiful moment when we get to revisit our past and see the incredibly loving changes we have made in our lives. It’s even more incredible when we have no judgment or reaction only understanding. It’s a great moment of appreciation.

  11. The fact of being out with people who drink and have no possibility to connect to sober ones makes easier to understand why people may join in and drink so to avoid feeling being left out. Yet, in truth, those that have left their bodies are the drinkers. They are not there anymnore. What a fantastic situation to observe!

  12. A great opportunity to have your past choices shown to you so clearly and perhaps unaware of the reflection you were offering to others that there is another way to be.

  13. Hi Kim, I recently attended an event of similar circumstances.. I enjoyed me and where I was at with the love I felt for me and how I choose to honour me, and how much I now love my old mates by the depth of how much I love myself.

  14. That’s awesome! I noticed this was written some years ago, I’d love to read a follow up story 4 years down the track, and no doubt many work functions past.

  15. It is not only great to reflect on how we have chosen to live to in the past to now, but it is equally important to appreciate how our choices that are more loving have a ripple effect onto all the other parts of our lives equally.

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