A woman’s strength is ‘KNOW’ and ‘NO’

by Rebecca Poole, Brisbane, Australia

My strength doesn’t come from my ability to bench press a weight. It certainly doesn’t come from my ability to fight. My strength isn’t in the size of my biceps or the width of my shoulders.

When I was young I thought I had to be physically muscular, athletic, rough and tough to be strong. My experience was that soft girls got walked over, teased, abused, and experienced inappropriate sexual behaviour from men. Understandably, this I didn’t want, so I chose toughness because I thought it was strength.

In my 20’s I began to ask myself “has this toughness really helped me in any way?” I still had experienced abuse and bullying. I still had experienced inappropriate sexual taunts and many, many unwanted breast and arse grabs by “friends” and strangers alike. It hadn’t really prevented any of these things as I thought it would when I was a little girl first experimenting with toughness.

Now at 30, I try something else. . . True Strength, what some might call INNER STRENGTH.

  • The strength that allows you to KNOW what is true, just, loving or fair – and the strength that allows you to say ‘NO’ to what is not true, just, loving or fair.
  • The strength to do this for yourself, and the strength to do this equally for others.
  • The strength to know and say ‘no’, even if you are the only one.

MY strength is in my KNOWINGNESS. That feeling I get in the core of my being that tells me if something is TRUE or NOT. My strength is in my NO. This NO can be loud, quiet or silent because its real strength is in the unwavering quality it is delivered in.

203 thoughts on “A woman’s strength is ‘KNOW’ and ‘NO’

  1. Simple and powerfully delivered Rebecca! The power of this blog comes not from the words delivered, but from the livingness of the woman who lives every word that she writes. Thank you for the immense inspiration that you are!

  2. Beautiful Rebecca – inspiring to read, and just what I needed to read. We do know what is true and what is not. The next thing is to express Yes to what is and No to what is not. To then hold that same quality in its delivery is what completes this movement of divine expression that lives naturally within. A great summary that shows life is Spherical and how we evolve each time we deliver!

  3. The inner strength when you know who you truly are is very powerful and doesn’t use any physical muscle strength.

  4. When we connect to and know our inner strength it allows us ‘to say no to what is not true’ – so true Rebecca.

  5. It is becoming clear that there is no doubt that I know what is true in every moment. I make mistakes and not get some movements straightaway because of the lack of connection to myself but I know what love is and giving myself space and love at these times are crucial in supporting myself along the way.

  6. MY strength is in my KNOWINGNESS. That feeling I get in the core of my being that tells me if something is TRUE or NOT. Powerfully expressed Rebecca: strength is all-knowing enabling us to say NO in many different ways, but always with authority.

  7. Sometimes NO comes easy, sometimes the NO feels like if I say it the world will end as I know it. The more I keep practising the NO in those latter moments, the more I realise that the world does not end, and even it becomes a bit messy, it still does not end. I keep upping my commitment to NO.

  8. Rebecca, I can feel that true strength is in our inner knowing and being true to this and not how much we can carry, I used to think that being tough and carrying heavy things showed how strong I was, but this just injured my body and stopped me from feeling my femaleness, now I connect more to my inner strength and live from this rather than trying to prove anything with false strength.

  9. Yes Rebecca, I am finding so much strength in my gentleness, vulnerability and willingness to feel. Not qualities that I would have valued or wanted to openly express in the past.

  10. Being able to totally trust what we feel and know is true makes us very strong, and that can only come from deepening our connection to the inner-most. True strength doesn’t require an enemy to prove its might. It stands beyond fighting and defending.

    1. I agree Fumiyo. Being truly strong has nothing to do with imposing or defending anything, it’s all about connecting with our essence and trust with what it is there to be felt and expressed.

  11. I have done tough all of my life and the more I go into that the more abuse comes my way. However, when I look after and honour myself- the more this same quality comes back to me in how others are with me.

  12. ‘This NO can be loud, quiet or silent because its real strength is in the unwavering quality it is delivered in.’ This is a powerful reminder Rebecca that a woman’s strength has a beautiful and inspiring quality when it is truly lived.

  13. Our strength is in speaking the truth that comes from our inner knowing of what the truth is for us, with no holding back.

  14. I so KNOW what you mean Rebecca. A knowing from my body feels complete, strong and stable and from there saying yes or no is simple and easy to do… unlike when I say I know something from my head, I can feel anxious after and doubt is often not far away.

  15. There is a knowingness in my body that I’m learning to honour. Sometimes it takes courage to listen and express from it but there is an authority, a simplicity and clarity there that holds me so much. The more I allow myself to express, stronger and steadier I feel in my body. Thank you Rebecca for your sharing about what true strenght is about.

  16. There is a deep wisdom and Sacredness that lies within each and every woman, some may have forgotten about these divine qualities we hold, but they are forever waiting for us to connect to them and live.

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