Vulnerability – Fear or Freedom

Recently I had an experience that made me feel very vulnerable in an emotional as well as physical way.

I got myself into an argument with somebody over a situation where the other person was at fault. I got quite angry and didn’t want to let it go. The result was that I was met with aggression and threatened with pretty drastic violent and destructive actions. Those sorts of threats go to the bone in me. I had nightmares that night and couldn’t rest the next day until that situation could be somehow resolved. I felt fearful, very vulnerable and tense, and also found it very hard to let go of my position of being right and that I was the victim.

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My Relationship With Me And My Body

What I have noticed recently is that the way I am in one relationship has a direct impact on how I am in all my other relationships. This shows me the responsibility I have to not hold back in any relationships and to be open with everyone I meet. I have spent so many years putting on a façade that I am OK, so it is a big change to be more transparent about what is really going on for me.

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Where Do I Do That?

It came to my attention that I very much do the things that I judge wrong in others. Opening up to this arrogance and actually making statements such as “I can’t say I don’t do that” or asking myself, “Where do I do that in my life?” has deepened my understanding of myself. This in turn brings a deeper quality to my relationships with others as I am now able to be with them and not the perceived pictures I have formed in my mind of who they are, based on their actions. My actions may not be the same as others, but when I ask, “Where do I do that?’’, I am asking about the feeling of the action and if that action also plays out in my life. Chances are that if I am reacting to another person’s actions then I am in some way doing the same thing, OR I have done the same but have yet to learn the full impact of what that choice has on others.

For example: Continue reading “Where Do I Do That?”

Everything Matters in the Pool of Energy We All Live in

Last week, as I drove in traffic behind other cars and trucks in the rain on my way to work, the rain felt like a nice wash and cleanse as it fell on my car. Added to this, water and dirt also came at my car from the residue of the other vehicles: when the cars and trucks passed, the dirty spray from these vehicles landed on my windshield and all over my car. It felt like my car was being spattered with something that did not feel like the clear cleanse the rain was providing – it actually felt imposing.

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Find Me at the Lost and Found

I’ve been on the ‘missing list’ for the majority of my life. Along with a lot of other ‘missing’ folk.

And the truth is, I have really missed me not being around.

I, like so many others, had access to a knowingness as a child of how we could and should be. I was aware of it from an early age. I didn’t speak often but when I did, it was for all.

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Truly Appreciating the People in my Neighbourhood

I live in a small and old neighbourhood just outside one of the many cities in Australia. Having lived there for over 10 years I have noticed families come and go, with employment issues and downsizing of family units. What has been interesting to note in the last few months has been the selling and buying of a number of houses near me, and in recent weeks the home next door and one across the road.

The same real estate agent was organised to sell both homes and dropped past my front yard one day while I was gardening, asking if I could give her a short summary of the neighbourhood, as she was setting up a profile for potential clients moving into the area.

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Dealing with the “Silly Season”

As we approach the Christmas holiday season, we all need to ask: will it be the “Silly Season,” where we all eat too much, drink too much, and don’t cope well with all the family situations that may present at this time of year – or will we choose to care for ourselves, look after our bodies and our wellbeing, enjoy and appreciate those around us to the best of our ability, and work to build connection with our loved ones in whatever way that may take shape?

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