A moment of regret, frustration, disappointment, wondering why different choices were not and are not made, a life lived less than all that I am and that it could be…
These were some of the feelings that washed over me one morning recently after attending a Universal Medicine event: my own regret and devastation of living life in delay, in avoidance of living all of me in every single moment.
Why?
Great question, and one I asked myself many times that morning while sitting at my desk. My answer to myself: there was no reason other than my own choice to not live anything more than what I had been choosing and had chosen up until that point.
I have always had an innate feeling, a knowing of what was needed, the choices I could make and should make, but avoided at all costs. Distractions and excuses were always close at hand: computer work, household duties, children, work, eating, shopping – you name it, there was always a plethora of things at my beck and call when I needed to avoid feeling the purpose of life.
If things were going well, it flowed. I was healthy, financially well off and supported, no arguments in the relationship, the kids were happy, so why bother to change anything. Sure, a few adjustments here and there at times with my routines, rhythms, relationships and diet, but that was it, and to be honest, at the time I felt like that was enough.
I was making the odd adjustments, what more was there to do?
Even with this thought, there was always a tension in my body, a knowing that that was not enough, that even though my life looked amazing, it still was not it.
I was sitting back resting on my laurels, and when the realisation came that I was where I was at because of my own choices, that just because life was ‘good’ – it did not give me a free pass to kick back and relax.
There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose. Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing, and I was the only one that could initiate that – no one else. The realisation and devastation of what I had been avoiding was overwhelming, it hurt and was not something I could run away from; it was in my body, raw, uncomfortable and confronting.
I could hear the children play and sing in the backyard, unaware of my tears that flowed and the thoughts I had been allowing to come in to keep me in a state of Un-Godliness, a state that had been impacting on everyone in one way or another.
The choices I had made and was making created a tension in my body, a tension that would come out at times in frustration, resentment, comparison and judgement of and towards others – not because of anything they had done, but because of what I was not doing or living. My heart ached, as if it had been ripped out, broken in two and stomped on, a pain and devastation I had never felt before.
The biggest hurt of all was that I had allowed myself to continue to live in such a way for so long with the absolute knowing and awareness of what I was choosing and doing. I’ll do it tomorrow, one more day won’t hurt, but tomorrow never came, and it did hurt. Avoiding tomorrow meant I didn’t have to feel the hurt.
It had become a game: how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to? But what I have come to realise is that each time I take that step away from what I know to be true and needed, I only ever take half a step back to myself as I begin the walk back through the muddy footprints I walked away in.
Walking away from the presentation yesterday, I could feel the discomfort and awkwardness in my body, how I had begun to give myself a hard time for not living the more, for not making different choices when they were presented. The regret and beating myself up began to flow thick and fast, and it had a good hold on me for most of the evening and the following morning.
Now I have a decision to make, whether to walk back through the mud, through the imprints I left behind, to walk in the glory that is all of me, honouring and living true choices, building a foundation in my body that allows nothing less than absoluteness and fullness in every instance. How that looks and feels I have no idea. What I do know though is I have a great marker in my body of how it doesn’t feel.
It took me a while, but eventually I realised giving myself a hard time, beating myself up, only kept me in the momentum of that choice – a choice I was trying to move away from.
By letting myself feel the devastation and hurt – and it hurt a lot – I felt my heart had never ached so much. I wanted to run away but couldn’t. I let myself sit, cry and feel all that was there to feel.
I know I am not going to get it right all the time, that I may still push aside those feelings of truth, that the awareness may be too much in some instances and I may want to reach for an addiction of some kind, albeit as simple as a household chore to distract me or some Facebook time, but regardless of what may present itself, ignoring what I feel and see it is too painful to walk away from again.
By Nicole Serafin, 46, Woman, Self Employed Hairdresser, Wife, Mother, NSW Australia
Related Reading:
Is change possible? Understanding the choices we make and why!
I got to see how the choices I make for myself impact me
The importance of expressing truth
Words on Serge Benhayon 
What if life as we know it is a distraction and this love-less way of living is being exposed as we are currently shutting out others because of a virus or energy we do not fully understand? What if we all turned to Love and considered each other as equals would we separate and indulge in all these love-less acts? Love is NON-IMPOSING and therefore learning to live in a way that allows others to be free to consider there own way of living as our given Truth that can never be taken from us! Would we all not choice Love?
I’m discovering there is always more to look at heal and move deeper within, as we heal our hurts it seems to give us more space to reconnect to the only thing worth connecting to and that is heaven and all the joy and beauty it offers us.
Finding our feet in life, opens the doors to heaven and so much more, so why not dip our toes in the water of life and explore our heavenly Essences?
There’s a saying to be ‘blissfully unaware’ but the trouble is that because we’re all naturally aware human beings we have to work tirelessly in order to dull down our awareness so there’s no such thing as being blissfully unaware really because the reason why we all want to desperately dull our awareness down is because our awareness brings us tension. But it gets worse because the things that dull our awareness also contribute to our tension, so what we’re doing is adding tension to our existing tension, ain’t no bliss in that!
The choice to beat ourselves up is heavy and cumbersome whereas the choice to see something to learn and evolve from has a freeing and lightening effect. One contains love and the other doesn’t.
I love your honesty here Nicole and in this question just how many of us have done this … looked outside to blame others or project our own frustration etc onto another without being willing and loving ourselves enough to look at actually how are we living and what needs to change ‘The choices I had made and was making created a tension in my body, a tension that would come out at times in frustration, resentment, comparison and judgement of and towards others – not because of anything they had done, but because of what I was not doing or living.’
What Nicole is sharing is huge Vicky as you have pointed out, I know I’m still being caught out by the choices I’m making which impacts others and I blame them rather than looking at my reactions. It’s like a vicious cycle we go around in, entrapping ourselves deeper and deeper into the mud of creation.
When we are achieving and then “sitting back resting on my laurels”, life becomes a thing of the past and we feel the need to have down time, but when we align to our Essences, Inner-most-hearts / Souls, we are living in the glory of who we are, not what we have done and thus no requirement for any down time as life brings everything and more that we could ever fathom.
Feeling disappointment that we have not been living all that we are is to know that we always have a choice to be open to the next step that is always on offer.
Disappointment, like any emotion muddies our ability to be all that we are.
I always get so much support reading this, the deep honesty of allowing ourselves to truly feel what’s deep within and allow that to be our catalyst for change. It’s in that honesty that we feel a call to be more, and realise the footsteps we have made need to be retraced or re-imprinted with love. I often look at my life and see the wrong turns I’ve made, areas where I’ve dishonoured how I truly have felt, and then it’s a lot of work to re-imprint it all, as you say it’s a bit like walking back through the mud to return to the love again.
Melinda I agree that at times it can feel overwhelming when we look back and see all of our footsteps that needed retracing but we are being helped and supported in ways that none of us can imagine. The invisible hands of those who have been able to walk all the way back, helping us with every step.
Beautiful Alexis, thank you, and so true. We have so much love and support surrounding us if we ask for it and allow it in.
When we come to certain realisation’s and then give ourselves a hard time or beat ourselves up over our procrastination, we are still in the same energy. We need to learn to forgive ourselves and move on otherwise we stay stuck.
Honesty is a vital ingredient in reflection, without it what’s reflected is as distorted as the image in a fairground mirror.
I Get the muddy foot print analogy and in some ways it could be said that it is like we have been tarred and feathered so we have to remove the layers to reveal what is always been underneath to start to walk in our Soul-full essences again.
Whenever I feel like it is time to deal with something, my pen and diary comes out. Everything is a result of a few steps before and if we build our awareness of that, our moments to reflect become short & shorter and our steps forward stronger and stronger.
There is so much power in the way we walk in life and each step is confirming of our developed strength we have from our essences, and living in that authority way deepens our appreciation.
WoSB – gregbarnes there is something in your words.
“the fact that there is so much power in the way we walk in life and each step is confirming of our developed strength we have from our essences, and living in that authority deepens our appreciation.”
It’s the appreciation of everything we have been given and are returning to, to feel our soul again and that the hierarchy are there walking with us and beside us as they have always been, we have just been so loaded down with ideals, beliefs etc., we are not able to connect to them. Once we start to clear the impositions then we can feel their presence again and how beholding it is to feel them. We are not alone.
Absoulutely Mary part of being empowered by our appreciation of all things divine is the authority we can live with because naught can dint the joy we are living in.
Recently I’ve noticed a lot of frustration and resentment, the judgment of my choices, has been simmering away in the background of my life. Having moments to reflect helps give space to understand my choices rather than condemning them constantly.
Space is so crucial, when we live our lives in the intensity of having to get everything perfect & done – we don’t observe what’s going on around us & cannot get the understanding and be settled. We’ll forever push and thrive for more – which if done forcefully, will drain us.
LeighM I was with a group of people recently and the topic of conversation was judgement and how easily we judge others for the smallest of things. Where does this come from where we can judge another without fully understanding their circumstances of life, I can feel the arrogance behind the judgement and it feels very unpleasant because to me judgement leads to comparison and jealousy which are also ugly traits as we use these emotions to put another down. We are much more likely to pull someone down than to raise them up.
Self honesty reveals the times we struggle to stay on a path we know returns us to our inner-most and divine selves. Often we veer away from truth and choose to stay addicted to old patterns. One of the reasons why it’s unwise to ever judge another.
Every time I judge another it demonstrates my lack of understanding of them and their situation. Every time I try and understand where and why another is where they’re at it makes it impossible for me to judge them. For me it’s about practicing this often enough that understanding others becomes part of my living way.
This is an honest reflection of why is it we behave in the ways we do.
“my own regret and devastation of living life in delay, in avoidance of living all of me in every single moment.”
Why do we avoid living all of us in every single moment? I can feel this other part of me that wants to be in control of every moment it has to be because otherwise it feels itself fading and so the battle of the spirit continues. Our soul doesn’t battle it just waits for us to return as we all will once we have re mastered ourselves.
A moment of reflection to appreciate all the beautiful confirming choices already made and to choose a few more.
Mary your comment made me realise just how much we focus on the things that we’re not able to do and the things that we’ve stuffed up rather than focus on the things that we do well and our achievements so far.
What a moment and one that offers a foundation for what is to come. Be true to who you are, where you are from and what you are made of, the rest is simple.
There’s a lot of healing that comes with facing our choices that are the roots of anything that hurt us.
‘It had become a game: How far can I go, how far can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to?’ I can relate to this, often forgetting I am a multi-dimensional being as well as being human.
It is like we are trying to con ourselves, but why would we want to do that? It is illogical till you consider the energy at play, then it all makes sense and we stop being victims.
Why do we make the choices we make? Is it possible that there is something else at play here? That there is a consciousness that we are unaware of that is actually controlling us so that we live in the distractions of life rather than the potential of what life offers.
True and so often those choices don’t really support us to live a life of purpose and responsibility.
There is something very powerful when you know a step needs to be taken even though you may not know what that step is, that allows for a new level of trust and surrender.
Very true Lucy. Allowing and surrendering to the flow. Even small practical issues that flow beautifully deepen my trust in the bigger issues.
Yes, to open up our perception and consider a different way. That is priceless because it is an opportunity to change a long-lived momentum.
That ‘long-lived momentum’ is one of not being able to see, hear or feel clearly. It is lifetimes after lifetimes of living in a fog, arms and legs carrying out repetitive movements that keep us trussed up in a life of lies. We have to wrestle the fog by changing our movements. We have to claim our bodies back through movement so that we are able to stand clear of the fog and reflect to all those who are still in it that it’s possible to step out and to be with the truth of who we all are once again. Over time the fog will diminish to such an extent that it will eventually disappear completely but right now it’s covering the planet like a blanket.
I have come back to this blog because there is more to say, as we I feel are constantly choosing every day. It seems to me that we are offered the universe continuously and we pick and choose what we will accept and not accept from this constant giving. And too be honest I am sick and tired of not just taking all that is on offer and living that. But there is resistance in me to the offer which kicks in because I want to be able to control what I say yes and no to.
There is so much to life the more I allow myself to feel the more is revealed, it is the most fascinating process. And I thank Serge Benhayon for presenting to everyone the tools to re-engage with life and all that it offers for those who are interested enough to be curious enough to re-engage.
Once having the marker of the re-connection to one’s Soul it is, as you say Nicole, “it is too painful to walk away from again”.
I remember when I was young there was the pondering of is this it? But, life slowly extinguished it completely. The reawakening was when I meet Serge Benhayon some 12 years ago that has allowed me to find the answers to questions I had forgotten.
Steve Matson I totally agree with you that our re-awakening was meeting Serge Benhayon who has been teaching the ageless wisdom for over 20 years now and these teachings have changed the world forever there is no going back to old ways and habits, the tide has turned and it feels utterly gorgeous.
Life is about opportunities and life is also about cycles. If we do not take one opportunity at one moment, it will come back at an other time to present itself in another way. This may take time depending on the cycle that this opportunity belongs to – it may take 24 hours, a month, a few years, a few life times, but come again it will, and then we get to make a choice again, and again and again. So there is no time for regrets…we only need to feel what has worked and what has not, discard that which has not and embrace that which has.
Henrietta I feel it is also to really appreciate what is working and focus on those things, as we seem to focus more of what is negative than what is positive and sustaining.
It’s a choice, but one that may take us a while to see. I often can feel the opportunities in front of me, how amazing it would be to live with a heart filled of love every single second of my day, yet before I know it I am exploding behind the wheel or running to the fridge to eat in my frustration. It’s a process for each and every one of us, we can choose to make it a lengthy one or we can choose to commit and be disciplined of course, but if we don’t choose the latter it doesn’t make us bad people, or horrible beings – it is worth bringing understanding why we are choosing misery over love, why we choose abuse over love – what is it in our lives that we feel we’re not enough or worthy of this love. What are our stops, our insecurities, why do we need the reward or the punishment? What do we get out of life lived that way? When we bring an awareness to this, when we understand our patterns we can begin to see that all of the turmoil is not worth it, that life is much better lived with our heart on our sleeves.
Regret serves no purpose other than to beat ourselves up more and deny stepping into that what is truly needed. And yet we often go into the regrets so as not to embrace the next step to empower ourselves – this is what I have found I can easily do! It feels at times easier to regret and look back rather than focus on where we are headed and have the capacity to go…It is like it is hard to accept how life can come with ease because we have invested so much in making it look like hard work – this is said from my experience once again! And great to hold the awareness of this so that a way of ease can then be allowed to flourish instead.
So true Henrietta – why oh why do we find it so much easier to beat ourselves up for the past rather than embrace the present or the potential of the future?
This is a great point you are making Henrietta about the investment we have made into making things hard for ourselves by being hard on ourselves. From my own experience being hard on one self and or looking back serves no purpose as it keeps us in the loop of feeling not good enough. I have found that by developing a curiosity of why I do something it supports me to be more open and aware of myself and the world.
It’s really supportive to read Nicole, I appreciate the way you shared the whole experience, very open and in all its rawness. I recently had a huge stop moment where I have been reflecting on experiences where my power came through and I was confirmed as much more than I saw myself to be, and also ready for much more. The stop moment helped me to see that I hadn’t appreciated these experiences and had not made moves to both claim them as who I am, and begin to live from this deeper place within myself. Part of the appreciation was to awaken me to what it would mean for those around me if I was to live more consistently from the power within me, and honour what I am ready to bring through for others.
‘…not because of anything they had done, but because of what I was not doing or living.’ This maybe a bitter pill to swallow after a lifetime of blame but it’s worth it. This morning I realised how I held my parents and the world to ransom for not reflecting and living the love that I am. I couldn’t escape the knowing that, as a child, I did know what truth was and it was me who held back the love I knew everyone was. This was the greatest hurt – not what other’s did to me, but knowing I wasn’t seeing them in their true glory, I had judgement pouring from me.
Feeling this pain and allowing love back into my body is something I’m doing. I can have a compassion for myself too. The great disappointment of the world and the great avoidance of my responsibility to love no matter what. Nothing is beyond repair. I don’t have to condemn myself to a life of regret but just understand and love again. I know this is felt by all those who I have harmed including myself. A few choices to go but the journey back to love has begun.
Karin I definitely feel we should have compassion for ourselves as we are mere puppets to an energy that for now has sway over our movements. I know for myself I have given my self a hard time and constantly bashed myself up for the choices I have made. When we chose negative energy then we are controlled and moved in such a way that it generates more negative energy so that becomes the life we know.It’s only been 20 or so years since the world was shown again that there are two energies to choose from one that continues to harm us or one that will heal us. As you say nothing is beyond repair, we can all relearn what it is to love again.
When we hold back our light from the world is it not the same as being a total eclipse of the sun and what energy is required to maintain the darkness?
If we truly hate the choices we have been making, we will have already made a different choice.
‘Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing,’ Wise words Nicole, what is done is over and done with, there has always been learning from whatever we have done, but dwelling on it is counter-productive.
Yes and we get very good at digging a hole, getting in it then bemoaning the fact that we are in it and wondering how to get out! There is no point in wishing we hadn’t dug the hole, we did, but now we can bring more awareness and investigate why we dug the hole so we can spot the warning signs or the triggers for the next ‘shovel in hand’ moment!
Lucy Dahill I find your comment of digging a hole and then getting in it and then bemoaning the fact we are in it very funny, because that is exactly what we do and then we want everyone’s sympathy. What a complete farce and one that we can play for many lifetimes as a justification to not evolve.
‘Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing, and I was the only one that could initiate that – no one else.’ In society and often in relationships it seems expected that people do not change and that we stay the same, this expectation is very limiting and can keep us in unloving patterns and behaviours.
So true and I hadn’t considered the limitation of expectations but it so obvious when put in this context. We have to be front and centre of our own life and our own choices.
A moment to reflect need not be a moment to regret.
It is amazing when we realise that often any frustration jealousy or comparison towards others is ultimately due to how we feel about ourselves first.
‘I let myself sit, cry and feel all that was there to feel.’ When we let ourselves go there, this is the perfect point at which true healing can take place!
I don’t know how many times I have felt the pain of my own choice to reject my own glory. But each time I do it becomes easier to get over and choose to embrace rather than reject. I will have to go through more of these pain barriers but the other side is always lighter.
The ultimate truth we all eventually need to own up to one-day – “The biggest hurt of all was that I had allowed myself to continue to live in such a way for so long with the absolute knowing and awareness of what I was choosing and doing. “
The sad thing is is that we all have that knowing, we all know what we need to do and how we need to move. What the purpose of our life is – it’s simple, look around and see all the people who you interact with, what do you bring to these interactions, look at the work you do and what you bring to that, are you somebody who gives it your all, do the tasks to the best of your ability engage in conversations, stay present and open to those in front of you, to the best of your ability, or do you cut corners, try to just get things done, rush through conversations because you don’t have time, and cut off people because you don’t like them? There are so many things we can observe in our everyday lives, so many little moments of glory to learn from, yet we are constantly looking for that big hallelujah moment to to give us guidance on life…
A moment to reflect is well presented – for the voice that tells us it’s right to say or do this or that is often a liar. To bring it back to ourselves and what we have to learn is so important.
I love to reflect and learn from past choices. Sometimes we may not want to make the changes, but it’s great to learn to accept we have caused what has happened and take responsibility because then we can let it go. It’s so good to see through the games we play to delay.
I have been in that regret and beat up recently, not accepting the choices I have made. But in that non-acceptance I make further unloving choices that I will then not accept! Yes they hurt but I don’t have to give myself a hard time over it. And I’ll repeat them until I choose love over and above anything that isn’t love. The more I feel my choices the easier it is to change them.
It is interesting to consider that to sit back on our laurels means sitting on the energy and purpose that has already been given to us.
The beauty about what you are presenting here is the realisation that the power always lies in our own two hands. The way we live is not to blame on anybody else but is our choice in every moment.
It is interesting that despite what we busy ourselves with we all have an underlying nagging feeling to want to connect with our real purpose and meaning of our life.
Being who we are meant to be, is simple but we make it complicated to stay in separation from us and others.
“It had become a game: how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to?” I know this one too. Time to stop and feel what’s really going on. Acceptance and appreciation feel the way to go for me.
“But what I have come to realise is that each time I take that step away from what I know to be true and needed, I only ever take half a step back to myself as I begin the walk back through the muddy footprints I walked away in.” This is the honesty of what we do – often a half-hearted commitment to life. It can be confronting to see the mess we have been involved in and feel like a big step to correct it … but it is so worth taking the full step back towards our glorious joyful selves.
A moment to reflect is a moment to pause, to bring honesty, truth, wisdom and understanding to life.
I love remembering that I am never presented with more than I can handle and if life feels tough at times it is an opportunity to resource some extra strength.
That’s a beautiful way of looking at it Matilda.
It’s great to give ourselves a moment to connect to a choice, a decision made that we later regret. By bringing in some understanding and some deeper reflection on what motivated the decision, offers a great point of learning to choose something different next time.
Yes bringing in understanding that brings an opportunity to grow and evolve. So much more supportive than judgement.
Yes and then we perhaps have an opportunity to stop repeating the same patterns over and over again.
Beautiful Nicole that you stopped and reflected and allowed yourself to feel what was there, no matter how painful. It is so easy to distract ourselves and numb ourselves and just carry on as normal.
More of me is needed in life, but not in the sense of a doing or taking on the responsibilities of others.
It seems to me that allowing oneself to feel the pain or have that it even surfaces is a willingness to unpack more of the falseness one has lived by.
It can feel tough to be so aware of the tension we feel, but it is a way forwards to grow and allow these moments to be felt deeply because then we can move on to the next step.
There is an intensity to life, we are immersed in it, which puts a huge stress on our bodies, it’s finding a way to live in the intensity but not become affected by it. This to me is what the teachings and presentations of Universal Medicine are showing us, how to live as a fish in the sea without getting wet.
Every moment is a choice and we know the choices we are making, choices that keep us in comfort, hiding so we are not seen and those that don’t.
‘…my own regret and devastation of living life in delay, in avoidance of living all of me in every single moment.’ Realising what it means to be living ‘all of us’, what we have left behind and not following through is a devastating feeling, but we can’t change the past, only make a different choice in the present.
And that is the inspiring and liberating bit. No more wallowing in either self-flagellation or pity, we have the choice to learn from all that has past and set ourselves on a different trajectory.
This is what taking true responsibility is.
“Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing, and I was the only one that could initiate that – no one else.” This takes away any excuse we may have to lay blame on another for how our lives are now. By taking responsiblity for our choices there is an openness that allows more to be offered and then there is a willingness to say yes to whatever comes our way.
One moment of reflection can transform our lives forever.
“It had become a game: how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to?” I can so recognise this one – putting off til ‘tomorrow I will do xyz…’ Time to pause and reflect and make new choices.
Thank you Nicole. Your sharing comes to me in a moment in that I feel a bit stuck, invites me to let go some thoughts that I’ve been allowing to affect me and empowers me to make choices that honour and support me in this time of letting go and deepen. Love when you said that ‘I know I am not going to get it right all the time’ and that’s true, we don’t have to be perfect, just aware and responsible for our choices.
True change comes when we want it to. So the question is what does it take for us to want it to?
Great point Vicky. Perhaps more Love.
I was listening to some music just the other evening while preparing supper and I was over come by a great sadness that even now I’m still living life in delay, as you say Nicole in avoidance of living me in every single moment and like you I am asking myself why?
I’m glad to have this moment to feel that I am still missing my self and the beauty that is God in every moment he is there just a breath away. I realise for far too long I have listened to other people’s views rather than holding steady with what I know to be true.
Taking a “moment to reflect” can be one of the most valuable gifts we can give ourselves, but at the same time they can also be very uncomfortable and sometimes painful moments. I know that I used to avoid these moments as often I didn’t like what I was being shown, but making that choice of avoidance didn’t make the issues go away, instead they sat and waited until the time came when the wisest choice, was to take note. What I have now found, is that the more uncomfortable the reflective moment, the bigger the lesson and the bigger the gift I can give myself.
Yes, me too, wanting to avoid the deeper feelings that arise when I pause and reflect. I would go into ‘keep busy’ mode to avoid feeling – a technique taught to me at boarding school and still going strong many years later unless I make a conscious choice to stop and feel.
Without the stop moments to reflect there can be no deepening as we fail to complete the full cycle of moments from which the next moment unfolds.
Honour and learn from past choices but to regret holds one in the past and is self-abusive.
Indeed living in regret, does not support our return to living the love that we are.
Regret is such a dampener it really is. It’s heavy and it’s damp and it sits over the top of our natural light. Regret is just one of an absolutely unlimited number of things that we haul in and place over the top of our natural light. Take these things off et voila there we all are in our resplendent glory, not a blemish on us.
Observing and clocking what doesn’t feel right in our body is a great step in the unfolding rediscovery of what does feel supportive and true, and the return to honouring and living our true essence.
Why do we resist ourselves? Why do we deny the love that we can feel is there waiting to envelope us in its warmth like a blanket, holding and supporting us in its pure beauty and yet we deny this for ourselves. It makes no sense to me but we all do this.
A great observation Mary. It makes no sense at all, as you say, but we all do this. There may be a different reason why each of us do this. Do we feel worthy of the love? Teachings from childhood about how we view ourselves, which I doubt emphasised how amazing and loveable we were, can stay embedded for years.
To take a moment to reflect I am struck by how beautiful it is to return and live my own true nature. The moment is a moment of appreciation and part of a deepening that is the movement of return.
Running away we are like a goldfish in a bowl, thinking we are getting somewhere, but inevitably returning in a circle to the issue/situation that troubles us.
The picture of “Running away we are like a goldfish in a bowl” has me chuckling as that is exactly what I used to find myself doing. It took me a while to realise that all the running away in the world was not going to take me away from the issue, as the issue just sat and waited, and often grew in intensity. I have learned that it is better to stop and face the issue with honesty, and although often challenging, any healing is offered a starting point, and the goldfish bowl can be left for the goldfish.
We can often lose ourselves in fantasy and distraction and yet all the time there is the next moment waiting for us to complete with our full presence.
How often have we known ‘Life is not meant to stop still’ yet mis-understood that phrase and engaged in drive or push to achieve more or ‘progress’ ourselves. I know that was certainly my approach, but since understanding that life is forever unfolding and developing and I could by choice take that natural trajectory deeper instead, i got to experience and continue to learn, there’s no need for chasing (or even looking) outwards.
‘Avoiding tomorrow meant I didn’t have to feel it tomorrow’ – this is spot on, how many times I have said that and as you say tomorrow never comes. Well it did thanks to Serge Benhayon and the teachings of Universal Medicine with the modalities to support to heal our hurts then you actually to see tomorrow and the choices are different. One of loving oneself to the max and not compromising, and sometimes you do and you feel it and then you have another opportunity to deepen.
Indeed Gill. Giving ourselves time to reflect on what it is that hurts us brings such clarity and understanding to any situation that then allows us to move forward without having to carry the weight of the past on our shoulders or in our bodies.
Our avoidance of the hurts is what perpetuates them and keeps us from living more fully who we truly are.
Thank you for the honest sharing of the devastation of living less than the fullness of our inner truth. I too am realising the significance and the power of claiming that fact that despite any of such occurances, dismissing the truth has never been my innate calling. This opens up the possibility of observing, understanding, learning, healing and whatever else such occurrences offer.
The more I understand what is shared here the more I am inspired to simply be me – learn, make mistakes, learn, break through habitual behaviours and learn some more.
Giving ourselves permission (grace and space) to be learners in life is one of the most amazing and remarkable things to do. Judgement is set aside, understanding builds and we are open to learn and grow from everything that happens around us.
I agree Matilda, and when we do react to life there is the added bonus of learning from it and discarding whatever had us react in the first place. Clocking these things is how we move on and evolve.
Honouring all we feel keeps life simple and uncomplicated.
Taking a moment to reflect can change our lives and bring a new awareness as you share so beautifully For example feeling ‘after attending a Universal Medicine event: my own regret and devastation of living life in delay, in avoidance of living all of me in every single moment and a way forward to bring a change .
Reflection allows us to see patterns, behaviours and return to love. No wonder so many of us live in such a hectic rush.
Giving ourselves a moment or two to reflect offers us the opportunity to feel in our body the choices we have been making, loving or otherwise.
I find the more I take moments to reflect the less I am in reaction about what is going on and the more clearly I get to see the situation and so get to fully understand what is going on. Otherwise it is so easy to see something from a place of reaction and blame another but not see our part in it.
They sure do Elizabeth and the more we take these these moments the less astray we will go and also the more we will confirm the appreciate the loving steps we have and are taking.
A moment to reflect is an opportunity to come back to our body, to feel the truth of how we are living – and to make honest and loving changes. The simplicity of this is so inspiring.
Yes. I agree, Paula. Simple and life changing, thank you.
A moment can offer pure gold.
The odd adjustment to diet, sleep etc makes a difference and these steps need to be appreciated. However I find they are only taken within a safe zone and allow me to hang onto the things I want to keep to hold myself back.
When we see in full the grandness of what weve been given and appreciate how beautiful it is, we have a true foundation for moving forward and living life.
“There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose. Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing, and I was the only one that could initiate that – no one else.”
So true and taking a moment to reflect on life is invaluable and always opens up awareness, appreciation and what is next lovingly.
Today I felt how I have known every step away from God and who I truly am and this hurts. Thank you so much for writing this because I do have a choice to walk back through the mud but knowing who I am as I do so and being loving along the way, or returning to being loving when I am not.
If we are ‘distracted’ then who or what is making choices for us? It’s very shocking to notice how many times a day I am moving without that presence, but with a dedication to honesty these moments are now being spotted much, much earlier whereas in the past I could run a whole day in ‘distraction’.
“There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose.” There absolutley is. But we do tend to get comfortable with ‘where we are’ rather than be willing to make room for an expansion of ‘who we are’.
Taking moments to reflect on our life is so important because it gets us out of the merry go round of always doing things and gives us the space to contemplate and expand our awareness.
For me it is invaluable to just pause for a moment and look wider than the road ahead of me.
When we connect with who we are, we know exactly what to do next. By honouring those inner impulses we honour ourselves and this love expands in every movement we do..
A few years ago I had two frozen shoulders that had gotten to the point where they were affecting my sleep and my movements during my waking hours of the day. On a Universal Medicine course, a moment of reflection arose that the pain was caused by me holding back my light from the world and what damage that could cause. This was a huge ouch! That night I had my first painless sleep in months! Within a few months, both my shoulders defrosted.
A huge ouch maybe, but because you chose to change your ways, the short ouch becomes a massive release of the long-term pain. A very worthwhile exchange!
Amazing how we can change the state of physical pain in our bodies when we become aware of the choices we have made that have led to that pain, and then a willingness to take responsibilty for it.
I know this one so well ‘I’ll do it tomorrow, one more day won’t hurt, but tomorrow never came, and it did hurt.’ Tomorrow does come but if we do not change and we its more loving for us to then yep of course we will feel this on some level.
‘There is always more…’ I enjoy these words because it opens me up to there being no finish line, perfection or end goal, that for every point of inspiration and/or learning there is ‘always more’.
As I was used in pushing myself through life from ideas from my mind, not from the impulses of my inner heart. And when I stopped with that, only then I could feel how much hurt I have brought to myself and that none of these hurts were caused by anything outside of me.
I do know that feeling of having the regret of something that I felt I wanted to do but not did. I have found that regret does not bring me anything, it was just one of the tools I learned to use to make myself feel less and at times even unworthy too in my pursuit to delay of living me in my full power.
We might choose delay but the fact of the matter is that we will eventually all have to face our choices and trudge through the muck that we have created. We never actually get away with anything,
Agreed Julie, we can keep running but the choices we made remain. We can’t change them so why let them affect the present and future when we can heal them?
It’s vital to feel how horrible it is to be love underneath but not live it. Otherwise there’s no incentive to leave our cocoon of comfort.
Indeed Joseph. For me applying the Gentle Breath meditation supported me in my first steps to reconnect to this love underneath you are talking about. Otherwise, I would still be living in this cocoon you are talking about.
There is always more than what we see and think, and what the physical world offers us. Life on earth has a bigger picture and purpose for us to evolve and learn throughout our whole lives. We are not necessarily less when we are young or more wise as we age, but it’s still the journey for us all.
It is amazing how much we can hold ourselves in the past, good or bad, and by doing so are not present in what we are doing. I have realised that no matter what I have done in the past, everything has moved on and so to look back in any way is simply a form of distraction and something which takes me away from myself and can be very destructive whenever I find myself dwelling on/in the past.
I know whenever I try and hold something in my life still or static or live the status quo it quickly turns stale.
It sure does and it’s amazing how quickly it does as suddenly all the zest and spunk is gone, no more magic. It is like going on cruise control nothing changes and it looks the same.
It’s interesting what you say here andrewmooney. I have felt the same with many projects, jobs, writings, conversations…so much stronger when actioned immediately….but I have to be honest in discerning, because this should never be an excuse for the determined drive that I can often go into.
A beautiful sharing and understanding of the reflection life can show us when we take a moment to reflect and bring all of us to what is needed and how lovely this feels inside to be in the universal flow of life .
What you are presenting here Nicole is so huge and powerful for all of us. That choice to either beat up, regret, chastise….or….to be really honest, feel it in full, appreciate the full majesty that we may have been denying and move gloriously forward with that. This is relevant in so many situations; big, serious stuff or even the tiniest of ‘slip-ups’ and it would be a world-changer if we all did more of the latter. A great sharing.
As you say, we can walk away but the walk back through the ‘muddy footprints’ is much harder.
Recently in a swim session I walked back across the width of the pool having previously swum it in an energy fuelled from my hips. ( the instruction had been to focus on moving the legs) I thought I was doing well because I was moving easily through the water….and yet I felt strangely elated. Walking back through this I could feel the energy that I had swum in and it felt like walking back through mud, very unpleasant. I realise how often I have let myself be led by an ideal or belief, how I can push through in life, often doing something I find very challenging – ‘that has to be done’ – and I just go for it without preparing myself, without honouring my body and where it is at. I start moving without a deep connection with myself and thus move in a way that can cause disturbance and ‘bad feeling’ even if many are not consciously aware that this unpleasant energy is there.
Reflect, deepen, move; but what I am seeing at the moment is how often when I move I do not stay true to that which I have just felt.
I love your honesty here. This is something I do sooooo many times but am not so honest with myself about it.
I had a dream last night and the message was just this …not to bury my feelings and pretend everything is ok when it’s not. To let those feelings that are there come to the surface and allow the sadness – as it was in my case – to be expressed and leave the body…making space for a deeper honesty, more love and more light. .
I know that game, how far can I push myself away Nicole before it is enough, and I return. It feels a self sabotage as there is another game of how far I can push myself forwards. But I am learning we have so many opportunities to grow, it is actually without any push, it is a surrender.
Evolution is a back towards. Back towards the expansion that we already intrinsically are but due to our alignment not living.
Unresolved hurts are cankers within the body that may moulder away for years, if not lifetimes, only to eventually reveal themselves and the devastation they have wreaked. The longer left the more insidious and ingrained they become and consequently difficult to identify and resolve. Hence, “… regardless of what may present itself, ignoring what I feel and see it is too painful to walk away from again” is such a truism.
This is a great example of true honesty where there is an understanding and observation, but equally no critique or judgement, for there is none in true honesty anyway.
Allowing ourselves to truly feel, as you have done Nicole, is surely a steppingstone to true awareness, painful as it may be.
I agree cjames. True success is then marked by whether we walk those stepping-stones.
When we focus on what does not feel so good we miss out on the exquisiteness beneath.
From a very young age I have been in a driven approach to life, under the belief that this is what we need to do. Not once was I encouraged to be and appreciate who I am and how awesome I am. When I was sitting in on a presentation by Serge Benhayon and got to feel how this had been the case then it was like I had the opportunity to start all over again. It’s like I am learning to parent myself and take moments to stop, appreciate how awesome I am and know that this is everything I need to be and more.
Your story of your youth is, I feel, one that zillions of us can relate to, I know that I can. I too have been blessed by Serge Benhayon and his family into beginning to re-parent ourselves and truly treasure who we are in a way that perhaps didn’t happen via our school or parents or whoever. And thus we are empowered to not blame the past but take responsibility for the future.
It is for most of us hard to admit that we are totally responsible for the choices we have made regarding our lives; it is always easier to point the finger and blame something or someone else.
Isn’t it crazy how we make our own choices and then we turn in on ourselves with resentment, judgement and criticism. How does that support us to grow, love, be open and expand. I know for me to release the depth to this bizarre cycle I was in of doing just that which made me snap out of it. The impact it has on our bodies is huge and thanks to Serge Benhayon and the teaching of Universal Medicine I have been able to see, feel and understand these patterns and the impact that they have.
Great realisation Nicole, all be it quite painful. Those shake-up moments are so valuable and necessary to get us out of the comfort we have settled into.
Sometimes the hardest reality to come to terms with is the fact that there is nothing and no one else we can blame for where we are, or compare with because they have it better, because it is our choices that have kept us where we feel comfortable or safe etc.
Yes Rebecca, that is the hard one, isn’t it, that it is all the choices we have made that has brought us to where we are.
Choices are an alignment and we are all either aligning ourselves with the consciousness of God or we’re aligning ourselves with a consciousness that doesn’t want us to know God. We can get very caught up in the detail and the endless array of our choices but at the end of the day it all boils down to our alignment with one of only two consciousnesses.
“The choices I had made and was making created a tension in my body, a tension that would come out at times in frustration, resentment, comparison and judgement of and towards others – not because of anything they had done, but because of what I was not doing or living.” You give us here a key to life to understand ourselves, that all that bothers us in another, in the world, can be brought back to ourself. There is always something for us to look at, let go of and deepen.
We are constantly offered moments of reflection and learning so much so that life can be a constant stream of these. Sometimes it takes something to bring us to a stop to us to notice what is going on.
How much more could we receive if we were to choose to introduce these stops for ourselves and to be in constant observation.
This article is very inspiring for its rawness and willing ness to cut to root of all of our problems. I have been avoiding feeling the devastation of separating from who I am/ we are and have only touched the tip of the iceberg. What I can say that living as an ungod when we are divine by nature is what hurts the most, for us as individuals and for humanity.
There is ‘always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose.’ This is so true and when we loose sight of the true bigger picture or are not aware of the true bigger picture it does not feel good I have seen this both with myself and others. Having a true purpose is essential to our whole wellbeing.
‘There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose’. Yes there is, and when we awaken out of the illusion, we see everything differently as the blinkers have been removed, as we start to feel and listen to the wisdom or our bodies.
Reflection is a powerful tool that only needs a moment to bring profound understandings.
This is definitely the case Paula, and as a consequence it seems that everyone is doing everything possible to not even take a moment to reflect.
‘I have always had an innate feeling, a knowing of what was needed…’ Me too and it has been/is exhausting and destructive to resist responding to and living this. With a willingness to learn and be responsive to the innate feeling that knows, life I know can be super simple.
Reflection brings an honesty to every situation and every interaction and an opportunity to choose differently next time.
Yes very true the opportunities to learn and grow are amazing when we are open and willing.
Taking time to reflect, even for a moment, brings awareness of what is not true, an honesty to our choices and a realisation that all is not as it seems.
Yes, when we reflect we give ourselves space to be honest, to stop and to feel what’s going on and from here we can learn to make different choices.
“The biggest hurt of all was that I had allowed myself to continue to live in such a way for so long with the absolute knowing and awareness of what I was choosing and doing.” Absolutely Nicole … it is our choices against what we know to be true and very loving that hurts us the most.
I love how Universal Medicine workshops have supported me in being so much more gentle, loving and mostly non-judgmental toward myself and others. Yes I have a long way to go yet, however the difference from before is huge. Without starting from such a foundation any moment of reflection could easily veer off to blame, beating myself up or giving up, whilst now there is an opportunity for a deepening understanding, awareness and an empowered sense of responsibility.
A moment is a moment where we are a body that will express a quality. Never a moment where it is just us on our own.
Yes, we can think we are on our own … but we are never alone.
In truth there is no ‘us’, we are the expression of whichever one of only two consciousnesses are coursing through our bodies at the time.
“Sitting back resting on my laurels” is just another way of saying that love to live in comfort, the comfortable life of not have too much responsibility. A position in which, when things do not go the way you like, you can blame someone else as it is their fault, their responsibility.
There is nothing to blame when we do come to the conclusion that we have lived a false life for many years, possibly for many lives whenever you may believe this as a possibility or not. It is just from our own choice we once have made, that from then on determined all the next choices that kept us trapped in the illusion that life is only the three dimensional as is our current common understanding of what life is about.
Becoming addicted to our way of living does stagnate us. Could it possibly be one of the reasons behind so much depression and suicidal tendencies? When we open up to a transparent way of living we can explore our continuing openness as we are forever evolving, this then keeps us on a Truly divine purpose in life and any thought that is less than Loving stands out like a sore thumb.
The feeling that there is more to life or that something is missing is indeed an age-old tension. The paradox that is often revealed is that we are missing bringing all of us to life, not that it is something external to us that is missing.
Yes, we tend to blame life because it is too complicated or to difficult but we then forget that this is all of our own makings from not living all of us.
Life is us, we are what makes life up, therefore what we see all around us is who we’re choosing to be.
It can be a difficult moment when we begin to see that we choose abuse over love most of the time. That we abuse our bodies very easily and that it seems to be second nature, we do it without any consideration. We find abuse easier than love. But this is not true. Walking through this can be tough, but walk through it we must so that we see that abuse in all its forms is not our natural way, and that love is.
So very true Jennifer. We have come to accept abuse as second nature and its hard to believe at times that yes we also find it easier than love most of time. But as you said it isn’t our natural way of being love is. Which raises the question why is love and loving ourselves such a challenge for the majority ? How has living lovingly become so hard and appear so complicated. Could it simply be all an illusion? An illusion to keep us in separation from the truth that we are all truly divine.
It is incredible how uncomfortable a comfortable ‘good’ life can be when there is no deepening and growth.
This is so true, Nicole – ‘Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing’. I observe so many people settle for a way of life that is a reduced version of who they are, as I did too in the past. Universal Medicine has breathed commitment and purpose back into my life and this is constantly deepening.
It is always a powerful and humbling moment when we have an undeniable realisation that it was ourselves who was part of the creation of the issue we are facing and also that through our own choices we are where we are.
‘I know I am not going to get it right all the time’ – How true, we can all let go of perfection, it does not exist.
“it still was not it”. I have tasted “it” and so definitely know when it is not “it”. Thus I can’t claim any confusion over which choice I am making.
Haha, we’re busted…
There seems to me to be a definite line between ‘feeling’ to fuel the truth-tanks and ‘feeling’ to indulge and delay. I often move on the wrong side of this line.
So many times I have been faced with a choice and have then talked the choice, but not walked it. These lies catch up with us and God keeps offering us another chance.
How many people are living a life in contraction? Not even knowing this how we are living and what this is doing to our body! We are holding back our light that takes an enormous amount of energy, and where do we get this fuel to hold back?
There are so many distractions in this world, all set up to keep us away from who we are, but of course we have a choice in each moment as to whether we allow the distraction, or not. But sometimes in the deep, dark holes we can find ourselves in as a result of our choices, the strength to say no is often not easily accessible and the distractions have free rein to take over. How glorious it is when you finally make the choice to leave the ‘holes’ behind and begin to say no to the distractions. That’s when you really get to know who you are; one amazing human being.
‘I have always had an innate feeling, a knowing of what was needed, the choices I could make and should make, but avoided at all costs.’ – We all know at one level or another, however we are masters at dismissing and/or denying it.
Amazing Nicole, these moments of reflection is our Soul dropping into our body supporting us to see what we have chosen and offers us clarity and connection to purpose and love. This is a deeply healing process and our Soul heals whereas our spirit wants to do the opposite.
It is very humbling, often uncomfortable, but always liberating to expose the thoughts and emotions that have kept us in reaction and thereby in separation to the ever-present steadiness of the soul.
I feel for me not realising the blessings I have received and not fully appreciating what I have in life often means I don’t hold it or myself preciously and with value. It sounds strange but some people we have to work on accepting all the good that comes our way! I feel appreciating things and really savouring all that we are and have received can be a great way to be open to receiving the next level of evolution – and receive more blessings from God and our soul.
The way to embrace and live more of who we truly are is to appreciate what we know from deep inside and then it becomes more natural to bring that depth to life, rather than getting stuck in regret which only serves to keep us further in the delay…
Yes, Fiona, anything that keeps us in an emotional reaction is a step away from the truth.
The challenge is to see that regret is an emotional reaction that keeps us trapped into repeating the past when we already have another moment here right now to make a different choice.
Absolutely Fiona, appreciation is evolving and healing and the opposite of this is regret which like you’ve shared keeps us stuck in delay and stagnation not able to evolve.
Indeed it sucks to be living life with only one engine on instead of all four that we can feel the potential of living. But there is no point in finger pointing as it is us who have not turned them on in the first place.
Great analogy Joshua, and one that really makes a strong point as to the choice we often make in life not to live the powerhouses we all are. Flying with ‘only one engine’ is a sure recipe for a life much lesser than is possible and very exhausting. It’s so much easier on the body when we are flying on all four engines than struggling to exist on one.
When we regret something is it we regret missing the ‘thing’ or in truth is it not that we regret we missed the opportunity to learn and evolve?
It’s interesting isn’t it – it is the choices we have made which are the most painful for in truth we never lose what we miss most, it’s just our choice to turn away from it.
Yes, it is quite crazy to be held in love at all times, but turn away from it which causes pain and suffering for ourselves and then spend lifetimes in the hurt of this, when we could easily come back to the same love that has always been there. And we think we are an intelligent species..?
“Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing, and I was the only one that could initiate that – no one else.” Yes we tend to forget this and so we start to get comfortable with our life. Sometimes in the unfolding life can challenge us but that is part of the learning, to not stop and allow the unfolding to continue. The worst thing we can do is stagnate and settle for less, life is continually evolving and to ignore this is actually more painful for us than any challenges we are offered along the way.
Those are painful moments to feel when it hapens. It is always up to us to shift and make different choices
Yes, Alexandre, sometimes moments of truth can feel painful, especially if we have stepped away from truth for so long. The aches and pain is a healing, it is our body reconfiguring, adjusting and releasing the ill energy that has compressed our body to allow space and expansion for love to be expressed. I have found this can be very uncomfortable, grounding and even painful at times.
I love the fact that life never stands still, , there is constant expansion when we embrace the new day with whatever it brings.
A moment to reflect to sit and feel is a vital part of our lives, as there is always more, and being open to seeing it offers us the reflection to the next moment honestly. A beautiful sharing of life, its moments and where we are all going when we realise who we really are and the joy of this.
Thank you for sharing your moment of realisation. I find I have to physically ache when I have such a moment or I can simply override a mental awareness such as this, just to have another day of playing the game of dipping in and out of the real me and my purpose in life.
It’s crucial to have space to reflect and consolidate, and confirm what’s beautiful, as long as we don’t drift down a path of critique – there’s no love in berating ourselves when wisdom is on offer.
‘I let myself sit, cry and feel all that was there to feel.’ – Thank you for this real, raw, open, vulnerable and honest sharing, this is true power.
‘I let myself sit, cry and feel all that was there to feel.’ Reading this I can feel how important it is to allow ourselves to stop and feel what is going on, rather than trying to distract or numb what we are feeling.
When we reflect and realise what we have done wrong it can often be very helpful to find out why we behaved that way. Once we understand why, we can then often choose quite easily whether to continue or not.
There is always more – the moment we stop and want to keep it as it was, we are saying No, to whatever we are made of to expand to.
‘Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding,…’ – makes sense, sounds right and can be observed in nature and around us but how to live that, how to take a posture with oneself and life that is honouring and embracing the fact moment by moment? It requires a shift, a letting go, a shedding of the compulsion to own, identify, control, possess that which is not to be made a constant or fixed point.
How true, only when we are willing to let go of that which we possess or identify with, are we able to see what’s next and how/where to move with it.
I have always felt there was more to life, more to me, but all my old patterns and behaviours kept me from evolving until I attended courses with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, where I began to heal my hurts. Can be challenging to face one’s past choices, but worth every golden moment of healing and clearing out the old baggage from my body – which my body greatly appreciates.
I have been here too, Nicole, ‘The realisation and devastation of what I had been avoiding was overwhelming, it hurt and was not something I could run away from; it was in my body, raw, uncomfortable and confronting.’ And yet, having lived comfortably numb for too long now, the hurt that comes with the realisation feels to me the tropical storm that is longed for with trepidation knowing how fresh and still the air will feel once the storm has passed.
It’s so important to appreciate that we can have these moments to know with every bone in our body that we have resisted the next level. Sometimes it takes this to take a big leap forward.
We have become masters of avoiding being all we truly are to the point that we actually do not believe we are all we are and work very hard to maintain a lived lie of what we are not. Once we become consciously aware of the truth we then have the choice to live it and return to true expression.
We are somehow in a stalemate situation when it comes to pain – on one hand the pain of honestly admitting the shutdown, past hurts, exposing the harming behaviours etc, on the other hand the pain of continuing avoiding the realisation and necessary changes, keep on denying and burying what we don´t like to see and basically lying for the sake of relief. It comes to one choice – either dealing with the pain of admitting or holding on to the pain of avoiding. The former is a process of healing, the latter the cause for more suffering.
Well said Alex – we have a choice of how long we wish to remain in this pain for, whether to maintain the status quo or to face our previous choices and make a change.
Holding on to the pain of avoiding does only delay the inevitable. At one point we will all need to bow to the inevitable. Question is sooner or later.
I agree on the game, a big game and like you shared one that isn’t without consequences:
‘It had become a game: how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to?’
We are so great at fooling ourselves and thinking we are still on track.
Do we exploit the patience of God or do we use the power and support to do the job we are actually here to do: to reflect that there is so much more than this three dimensional life we get sold and communicated from everywhere and that we are actually not made to be here.
As soon as we think for a second that we can better our lives or that we are here to stay here and are just three dimensional beings we are off track and in the game.
I agree Gill – taking moments to reflect is what gives us the opportunity to see ourselves with more understanding and clarity.
That is the true beauty about life that we can deepen our understanding and love always and forever.
Yes, there is no end, just more and more beautiful way stations.
A beautiful moment to reflect on our lives taken and felt which is inspirational to see, feel and acknowledge lovingly ” my own regret and devastation of living life in delay, in avoidance of living all of me in every single moment.” It is never too late to start and bringing our the fullness into every area of our lives .
I love the raw and tangible honesty in this blog, which is sometimes where we need to go in order to feel all that there is to feel ( which we may have been avoiding), for in that precious and vulnerable space, we realise we have so many other choices available, and we can feel how ready we are to choose differently.
‘I know I am not going to get it right all the time …… but regardless of what may present itself, ignoring what I feel and see it is too painful to walk away from again.’ – it’s never about perfection, rather a commitment to consistently be all that we can be, to the best of our ability.
When there is anger or bitterness at a decision or at our history it is important to observe very carefully and to be honest about what we observe. That allows understanding to come – it may come slowly but it very often comes.
In the past I have been a master at making a mistake then spending much time in regret or beating myself up, I am now much more lighter on myself and see most things as lessons in love.
‘There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose.’ I love this, appreciating that there is always more, nothing stays still – the joy in connecting with purpose and the bigger picture and saying yes to the invitation that is always there, to be more.
“It took me a while, but eventually I realised giving myself a hard time, beating myself up, only kept me in the momentum of that choice – a choice I was trying to move away from” Yes beating ourselves up serves no-one, least of all ourselves.
Reflection offers us the opportunity for expansion and the great thing about reflection is that it’s literally everywhere, there is nothing that is not a reflection.
Yes, reflections are silently powerful and convey so much more that words sometimes can. But sometimes, we choose to avoid the reflection, or the lesson/insight, because we are not ready to change some aspect of our lives.
True – and whether we acknowledge the reflection or we dismiss it, is always our choice.
How powerful this is, Eva: ‘,,,whether we acknowledge the reflection or we dismiss it, is always our choice.’ Really hitting home that we always have a choice, even a choice within the choice. No matter how dark, painful or complicated the situation may be, we always have the choice to choose again.
I have been learning that falling into regret compounds the problem.
‘What I do know though is I have a great marker in my body of how it doesn’t feel.’ – Most of us know too well what it feels like in our body to not live the fullness of who we are, in particular the tension and discomfort that comes with it.
Hence our propensity for seeking out different ways to dull down the tension and discomfort so we don’t have to feel it, rather than choosing to address the root cause of our ‘dis-ease’.
Life is not ever meant to stop still but continue deepening is something I have resisted. I wanted rests, to rest on any achievements, to finish something and then reap the rewards of being asked to do nothing else. I see this modelled from young in the education system, work hard, get the grades, celebrate and have time off. But what I’m learning is that when I move with me, in connection with the all that we’re in, I have no need of a rest in the old exhausted fall in a heap way. I can go gently and consistently, not being nudged or put out by outside issues. It’s not about being closed off but more connected to what’s needed and not exhausting myself with what’s not. What is lovely is not bothering with anxiety over having to perform, it’s early days with this but I can feel how at ease I could be and that is amazing.
It is interesting isn’t it that we can always find something or someone to blame for not living the way we want to or know it could be, but the energetic truth is we have already made the choice to stop evolving or growing and then the perfect excuse is always there.
It’s a classic one, we compare to others, go into jealousy when all along we’re avoiding actually feeling the choices we’ve made and the steps we can take, and only we can change that, and those comparisons are a blind alley.
Yes dishonesty always keeps us in the dark.
The constant justification to our selves as to why we are ‘ok’ as we are, when in fact, the opposite is more often the truth.
Until our understanding of ‘doing what needs to be done’ is based on what we can feel, instead of our pictures of what, when and how this looks like, we will be at the mercy of our own pictures and all that comes with them- the when, how and why we do what we do, the reasons and justifications for doing or not doing, instead of the soul’s simplicity of getting on with it.
Yes, Nicole I am beginning to realise that ‘ignoring what I feel and see it is too painful to walk away from again’ and without too much imposition I can feel that my body is now holding greater acceptance and a willingness to put an end to a life of delay and distractions and allow a sense of joy and lightness to pervade my days.
‘There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose’ – the realisation of the truth of this statement opens us up to a world where we are constantly in expansion. For so long I lived in a body that was contracted as I shrunk away from the world and the wonderful life that was on offer.
Nicole, I agree that beating ourselves up doesn’t work and from my experience stops us from evolving and making changes and instead keeps us small and stuck.
It actually makes sure that we don’t evolve and that there will be more occasions to beat ourselves up.
Identifying our addictions through bringing greater awareness can support us to choose to make a choice to stay committed to living in truth and without compromise on how much we allow to be seen.
If we don’t make moments to reflect, consolidate and ponder, our moments will be governed by reaction, negativity. It’s us who started the cycle though trying to block out evolution.
When we give ourselves time to reflect, we come to understand the truth behind our behaviours.
Very important, yes – but also equally important not to indulge in regret. In this indulgence, we are wasting time as we do not arise ourselves out of anything but keep swimming around in the mire. Understanding that there is no perfection and that it is ok to make mistakes and to claim that we are learning as we go, allows us the liberty to learn from our errors without the self-bashing and punishment.
Yes, giving ourselves time – which allows space – makes a huge difference. The ‘busyness’ of modern life gives little pause to ponder, unless we claim it for ourselves. .
Reflecting and understanding the reasons why we do what we do, inspires others to also do the same.
True, it makes them start to question things they would have earlier turned a blind eye.
There are times that i still feel the anguish of choosing this delay over all that is offered but in this – ‘What I do know though is I have a great marker in my body of how it doesn’t feel.’ I can feel that even in this I am offered the opportunity to know more of the way back.
The marker in my body becomes louder the more I listen to it. When I consequently make a different choice – supportive to my body – I equally get a clear marker from my body. A confirmation that this is the way back, reimprinting old patterns and behaviours which kept me small, no longer support me and paving the way for a more open and accesible body.
Our body speaks truth and when we listen and respond it can be confirming – or otherwise.
The title of this blog is inspiring in itself, how often do we take a moment to reflect? Just a moment stops the momentum we are in and allows us to change course if desired or need no matter when or where.
Most of us keep wanting more and more from life. So it is ironic that if we truly reflect we see that “There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose” yet how we tend to live is to get away with the bare minimum which means we don’t do our part to have what we say we want.
I agree Doug, and it’s so great to know this and deal with it now, rather than with regrets at the end of our lives. We are so amazing, all of us.
It is a blessing and an honour to have the support on offer from Serge Benhayon, he gives his complete all , if only we stopped to appreciate that in full.
Reflection allows us space to consider what is acceptable in our lives and what is not… to create a new foundation to move forward with.
It can be easy to continue onto the next thing without truly reflecting on what has gone on, in a simple way, a deciding if that past should be a quality we want in our lives or not. With a simple moment, we can choose to strengthen our foundation of love or resistance to love.
A moment to reflect offers an opportunity for us to create new markers in our lives, to set standards for ourselves that we will not drop below.
We fear going there concerning our hurts, as if they are too big, or contracts with the life we have and what we think is normal, can be a barrier to being in our full potential. I love what you share about this rawness, it is how we truly heal and step into what we know is true.
When we allow ourselves to feel the rawness of our choices that is the turning point in letting go of old patterns and addictions. In allowing myself to feel and accept the rawness I have also been offered a clarity and a clearness that feels refreshingly honest – the discomfort and the expansion can be felt at the same time. As long as we don’t indulge in emotions around the hurt, the clearing happens very quickly.
“….regardless of what may present itself, ignoring what I feel and see it is too painful to walk away from again” – yes, in admission leading to (self) realisation change always is there to greet us.
Yes, allowing ourselves to remain in a state of un-godliness is our greatest suffering, as it is so far removed from our true and joyful nature.
What is offered here is gold. It can be so easy to relinquish the focus on our self-development when everything is working well, why should we seemingly rock a steady boat. But true evolution is about a perpetual deepening of our purpose: to reflect all the Love we are and hence has no end point because Love itself is always expanding.
Regrets can keep us in the past and as Nicole has shared in the blog are simply a choice to avoid stepping up to a new and more loving way of being. As they say – let bygones be bygones but always take the lesson from them so that when the opportunity presents again, to act on it with truth the next time around. Around and around we go till each opportunity has been utilised to its full and maximum divine potential.
Even when we feel gleefully happy we’re in a state of self repression. Man, the depth of the illusion is deep.
What’s even worse Doug is that the majority of us live so much by rote that life isn’t even as animated as 3D.
So true Ariana. If we truly appreciate how much we love what is in the “cup half full” then we are far more likely to want to fill it right up, rather than berating the fact that our cup is half empty – thereby give our attention to the what is not (the empty portion of the cup). No wonder it doesn’t taste so good.
I can argue, defend or justify my way out of the tightest of corners…but if I am honest, open and non-judgemental (mostly of myself) then the whole walls of the corner disintegrate and I am surrounded by space.
Sometimes we just have to allow, not judge or defend. In this we allow space and for what ever is to unfold. Giving ourselves the space we can see clearly and feel more.
Yes, so true we are so used to and that is what we learn imprisoning ourself even more with arguing, defending, judging and yet we can give ourselves the space, or more so just accept the space that is there, to step back and see what else is there to see.
That’s gorgeous Otto – releasing the need for control and allowing the truth to just be.
Surrender, get out of the way and let the pros (our heavenly brothers) show the way.
I know from personal experience that it is possible to pull in excuses one way or another to stop us from living the fullness of all that we are: “If things were going well, it flowed. I was healthy, financially well off and supported, no arguments in the relationship, the kids were happy, so why bother to change anything?” and if things are not going fine, well, then we have all the drama we are dancing with as an excuse: “who has the time?” It is all just a choice and we are masters at finding excuses when we want them.
I can so relate to this. Being aware of truth but not living it, saving it for tomorrow. It leaves me feeling wishy washy and empty. No commitment or purpose, just drifting through life. Thank you for sharing.
It is something most of us do, we negotiate our terms and conditions on what we will stand by as truth, I have found that as the example above shows, when we allow the rawness and realness of what unfolds to heal into our lives, and truly feel it and be honest about it then we are able to lift some of the veil of illusion that we carry with us, of our created lives and live more true.
The thing is we are all aware of truth, the question is how many times do we walk with the truth and live it or make excuses to not live it. Each moment we have a choice to choose. I know for myself when I choose to live the truth life is so joyous, when I make excuses I can feel the tension in my body.
“I know for myself” – these are the key words – once it becomes a lived experience then it is very simple – an everyday choice that we can or can’t make, but the gold is that we know, that this choice is there and available. There are so many of us who are so lost that we don’t even know that we have this choice.
I do the same and it leaves me super frustrated! I have to be really careful that the effects of ‘not living the truth’ aren’t then compounded by me indulging in regret and self-pity. See what I have done, feel it, and then flick the ‘choice-switch’ and move in a different way. Every moment spent reflecting on the ‘what is not’ is time not lived in the ‘what is’. This is a strong discipline that I am developing.
A great point Otto. It is so easy to indulge in regret and self-pity. This is such wasted time.
Such an important thing to understand, that ‘Life is not meant to stop still’. We are all constantly being pulled towards soul, we cannot ‘stop the world’ – though I did go on a retreat by that name 2 or 3 decades ago! I would never wish for that now as I cherish my movement towards soul too much.
Ah just to appreciate what I do have – don’t often do that, but just in a flick of a moment as I write I can feel how much I do actually have that needs to be appreciated and consolidated.
Those stop moments as what is described above are gifts if we but stop and feel all there is to feel no matter how much it hurts, for we are not our hurts, but so much grander, but in order to feel all that we are, we do have to feel our choices, feel the rawness and our vulnerability and underneath that layer, feel our tenderness and preciousness.
‘…there was always a plethora of things at my beck and call when I needed to avoid feeling the purpose of life.’ equally with this awareness we can decide to develop a selection of methods for supporting to remain connected to purpose in life, such as walking, our posture, the feeling in our finger tips and so on.
‘Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing, and I was the only one that could initiate that – no one else.’ this comes up for me often as I realise that despite allowing this unfolding and expansion to occur I still have a foot on the break to feel in control of it. I can however feel that underneath this there is a natural way for this to happen if I surrender more deeply and let go of control.
I agree Michael when we let go of control and surrender that is a natural flow, deepening and developing. It usually is our own insecurity that keeps us wanting to control life.
Take our hands off the steering wheel and then we will see that actually we are plugged into the most reliable, accurate and supportive auto-pilot system imaginable. A system that knows exactly where w are going and exactly how to get there. And it its only when we try to counter this system, steer our own way, own it that the crashes occur.
The way we approach that moment of reflection makes or breaks the next moment of action.
There is a difference between reflecting truthfully on ourselves and what happened and ‘dwelling’. When we reflect we are the loving observer: we see, feel, note the learning on offer and move on. To dwell is to enter into emotions and supposed wrongs of the past and like a blanket soaked in regret, grief, hurt, it overwhelms us, we go nowhere and brings us down. To be reflective is a powerful tool and distinct from dwelling, its toxic opposite.
Years ago I realised we cannot run away there is nowhere to run to, the universe continues to expand and we have to expand with it. If we don’t keep up then there are consequences to this which I believe we are just starting to feel in the changes to our planets weather patterns, they seem to be coming more intense. And may be the human race needs something major to occur to jolt us out of our stupor.
It is so important that we are honest with ourselves about any choices that we made that we regret because if we don’t then we carry that regret around with us and it affects everything in our lives.
We cannot walk around with regrets, as the regrets are buried in our body and this will affect other areas of our life, it is always best to bring it to the surface, talk about it and let it out. In each moment we have a choice and to understand everything is a choice, so in truth we can change choices all the time, so there should really not be any regrets.
I have to admit that I often feel the truth of the fact we never stop learning, growing, developing and evolving, very daunting at times for I love my comfort and there really is no comfort in all that movement.
Could it be that our comfort is supported by the illusion we create?
We live in a world of illusion, life is an illusion, one we created.
When we distract ourselves from the next step to take in our evolution back to soul we will get bombarded with the negative thoughts that we then have given free play in our minds.
It needs dedication in your rituals and order to not get off-tracked by the delusive mind.
Resting on our laurels as a normal way we live our lives? Could this be a reflection of a comic Laurel and Hardy film we are living again and again?
Making space to pause and reflect on our part in where we are now is essential – we cannot blame anyone else, it is entirely our choices that have led to where we are right now. And yes, it is uncomfortable to realise that but along with the discomfort comes purpose and resolve, to make different choices from here on.
When we stop to reflect, we have the opportunity to connect to the multidimensionality we are all from and all equally an important part of.
It is the quality of our reflection in that moment that brings the wisdom for us to learn, understand and grow.
“I was making the odd adjustments, what more was there to do?” Oouch! When life is going well we can be so complacent about our own personal growth, but it is in fact our only worthwhile pursuit, to expand our self awareness so we can offer more of ourselves to the world.
Thank you Nicole for what you share here … that constant and consistent putting things off (another day, another time) and of course that stepping away to see how much you can get away with … this I know deeply and if I’m honest, it’s a game I fall into easily and as I write just now I have to be deeply honest in acknowledging that I am not getting away with it, it does hurt and there is a devastation I’ve not been willing to feel but is there none the less, so who am I truly fooling, not anyone else, and not me in truth, so a great stop to allow myself to truly feel the devastation of those decisions to step away from what is true.
We are here to learn, which allows us to steadily return to the truth we know.
Beautiful reminder, we are a forever student here to learn to return to who we are and the truth we know.
Self development and self awareness are what allow us to evolve and grow, but there are times when it can feel painful – the thing is that it does not have to feel that painful but we can make it more painful than what it actually is and this comes from a part of us still resisting the healing and the blessing on offer – I have certainly experienced this and how I can be very good at making it hard on myself or taking the fun out of the growth and evolution. But in the end, if we allow ourselves to tune into the purpose and see the bigger picture, then there is no need to do it this way – rather there is the choice to rejoice in what is unfolding and surrender to the process (something I am certainly still learning to do!).
From my experience in the life of not knowing the truth and then knowing the truth once we know the truth everything becomes less painful because we have a greater awareness and understanding and therefore have a greater awareness and understanding of why we have regrets, feel hurt, feel sad etc. There is beauty to be had in these lessons we learn.
When we stop to realise how much more of us there is to live and how we are only choosing to live a portion of it, it is devastating on the one hand, but a blessing on the other. For without this awareness, how else would we realise the growth that is on offer?
If we want to know and truly see the truth of any situation it’s there in a flash. The difficulty we experience is just us hanging on to the self generated hurts and beliefs.
I agree Joseph, to dwell on supposed problems keeps us stuck in “self generated hurts and beliefs’ and is a form of punishment.
A moment to reflect feels great to observe ourselves, and feel what makes us tick and where we need to refine our rhythm of the day so we have a water tight rhythm. They are always places we can work on when we get clarity with this reflection.
Often I feel as though I’m traipsing through the mud again and again as many of us probably do but this blog is another great confirmation that a way out is just a choice away and it is always ok to slip up because we are human after all as well.
What fun would life be without making mistakes and learning new things?
To feel ourselves traipsing through mud is an honest reflection and preferable to believing we’re walking on air when we’re not.
Absolutely kevmchardy…and thus it becomes about whether we have connected to the purpose in changing, the purpose to our lives, the purpose of getting out of the mud…because without this then it is oh so easy to just slip back into the thick mud again.
On the question of why we delay and don’t live the fullness of who we are – we can come up with any number of reasons, and justify them to the hilt, but at the end of the day it’s because we’re choosing not to: we are actively making the choice not to be all of who we are, not to bring it in to each and every moment, until we decide enough is enough.
Well said Bryony, only when we say enough is enough we can stop the illusion we try to keep up living while we know from the inside that we do not only hurt ourselves but to all people we live and work with.
Are we coasting along through life, because we do not hate the delay we are living in?
Steve great point, the delay gives drama and excuses rather than constant rocket style evolution. The choice indeed is ours.
‘I was making the odd adjustments, what more was there to do?’ – I feel this is a very common attitude, and I can also recognise it in myself how I sometimes go.. this and this area in my life is ‘better’ than before so…
‘how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to?’ – game indeed that we all play to our very own personal level, yet in truth no matter the extent we will all at some stage stop playing the game of hiding the devastation and hurt – though the longer we ignore it the more devastation and hurts we have to hide.
You share what many of us feel – a devastation but also a choice of what’s next – to stay in the mud or to get on with it.
I love how every workshop and in fact every conversation with Serge Benhayon is an invitation to reflect on the depth of what is accessible, what I have so far settled for and the honest appraisal of what such a choice has resulted in. When such an invitation is embraced, even just a little bit, it is the most sobering and empowering experience ever.
This level of reflection and honesty is absolute gold and your sharing, Nicole, is an inspiring invitation. For every moment of being honest with my delay and indulgence in the selfish comfy I have established, I experience two things at the same time: 1. A release from the delay back to the natural pull to grow and evolve and 2. The impact and ugliness of my selfishness and choices. If I can simply observe number 2 then it inspires further number 1.
Yes, we are the masters of delay, and once we awaken to this fact it is devastating to consider how much time we have wasted, but it is never too late to change our ways. Every day presents new opportunities to embrace life and love.
So true Janet. We need to feel the devastation, but not indulge in it, for the grace of this world offers us a new opportunity everyday to have another go at changing these ingrained patterns of delay.
Have we chosen to be masters of delay for the simple reason that we long to return to and miss the Ascended Masters we truly are and fool ourselves into believing that to be masters of something, anything will fill that fathomless longing?
Yes Nicole, it is very painful not living from our truth. To integrate pauses and stop moments in our life to have the space to reflect deeply on our daily choices and change them = key to living with joy and harmony.
“I know I am not going to get it right all the time, that I may still push aside those feelings of truth, that the awareness may be too much in some instances and I may want to reach for an addiction of some kind, albeit as simple as a household chore to distract me or some Facebook time, but regardless of what may present itself, ignoring what I feel and see it is too painful to walk away from again”.
This highlights the level of integrity and responsibility in which you live your life Nicole. When something comes up for us do we recognise that its something for us to look at for ourselves so that we learn or do we seek to blame, whether it be ourselves or others. Choosing to look at what we have previously not addressed through life is always a huge step.
Nailed it Jennifer – Integrity that allows the true healing to unfold. The worst we can do to stunt our healing is to judge ourselves for the mistakes we have made. But the mistakes are not mistakes if we have taken the learning from them, for then they become true and valuable lessons of life that all can benefit from.
With the purpose of life being so big, why should we drive to do more in one day?
Because we are not satiated by the purpose that we haven’t connected to.
The only thing that matters is energy. When the energy chosen is love and is truth, Life doesn’t allow comfort, there is none, but there is stupendous Joy. If comfort is allowed, it is super simple—just choose the foundational energy, if it is love, then all will follow. Pictures such as a good life and earthly luxuries etc are not relevant, Life is much grander and it could look very different, but we know Truth and that is what Life asks of us every single day. Love, no matter what they say, what you think, just love. Love it so thoroughly that nothing else can enter, and there is nothing else but love.
‘my own regret and devastation of living life in delay, in avoidance of living all of me in every single moment.’ You sharing this is deeply inspiring because I know I feel regret in every choice I make that I know is not loving. Being more honest about this is a first step to fully admitting how being wayward has only ever brought pain and misery, and though I once revelled in this it’s now time to feel the devastation it’s brought. Whatever there is to feel I do know that, like clouds that rain and dissolve, so too do these feelings, clearing the way for a new beginning.
We go through life blaming this person or that person for not being or doing whatever it is we expect them to do or be, but we don’t realise how damaging that can be until we let go of the pictures, let go of judgement and appreciate the true qualities they bring. People are inspired when we appreciate them, they go downhill when we criticise them. And this goes for children as well as adults.
I really appreciate how this blog is a big call for us all to really stop to take stock of our selves and the quality of our self development, which is not an activity that our society generally tends to encourage, but without which makes life feel very empty.
“The biggest hurt of all was that I had allowed myself to continue to live in such a way for so long with the absolute knowing and awareness of what I was choosing and doing. I’ll” I feel you speak for most of humanity here Nicole, we all do know deep down the way we are living is not right, yet we continue to play the game that keeps everything ticking over.
True Sam, and we can use all manner of unrelated things to make ourselves believe we are doing OK or improving, when in truth we are really not OK at all, we are deeply hurting.
Nicole, this is quite revolutionary in the sense of writing from a place that clearly shows how our deepest hurt is the one we have done to ourselves by stepping away from our inner knowing. Society ‘gets off’ on blame; my mother did this, my father didn’t do this, these people are mean, I don’t belong anywhere etc. Which of course, for many, are a reality and understandably so. But when given the gift of responsibility we are free to really feel the big hurt behind all those other ‘issues’ and it’s the one that we can actually change.
True – responsibility is key, as without it we can keep cruising on top of our hurts and never get to truly heal the underlying cause of our hurts/ills.
Having moments to reflect throughout our day allows us to stop and feel where our bodies are at – how have we treated them, what are the consequences, and why have we treated them this way? It only takes a few seconds to check in but this can have profound results, especially if we are truly honest with ourselves and prepared to look a little deeper.
Taking stock can feel devastating at first but in the end leads to more clarity and greater expansion, more lived joy and merriment.
Does anyone not have a junk drawer in their house? Are we not the same, by having past choices that for whatever reason, that are stored in a drawer within us that we would like to forget? We have given a name to ridding our house of things that are no longer needed by having a spring-clean. Why should we also not clear out our minds and bodies of that which no longer serves us!
Indeed – we care more about de-cluttering and cleaning our houses or cars than we do our own mental and emotional health and wellbeing.
Avoiding the hurt for most is prevalent and prior to living the love we all miss most and which is the actual underlying hurt. Love is the healer but opening up to it also brings up the hurt of having lost and missed it for so long hence facing the hurt is part of the return to love.
Thank you Alexander what you say further supports my understanding of the process of returning to love.
A moment is a measurement of time that we can choose to fill with anything. But at the end of the day all things boil down to being one of only two things. What is God and what is not.
Such a simple concept, Stop and check in with myself. Thank you Serge Benhayon and Simple Living Global, for supporting me get this concept. I now have a chance to make decisions in my life that will truly support me.
‘I realised giving myself a hard time, beating myself up, only kept me in the momentum of that choice – a choice I was trying to move away from.’ I have been in this too and realise the insidiousness of the trick of being in guilt and or regret of what has gone before when there is in truth no point to it. Simply embrace awareness and make a new choice.
It has become comical to observe and feel the trillion and one things we have up our sleeves all to avoid being the magnificent beings we are. My learning in letting them go and not trying to be anything or one but simply surrender to who I naturally am.
Yes Natalie – and amazing how much I resist the simple choice to be me.
I find as much as I like to blame other things and other people for distracting me ultimately I do know that I do have the final say in whether I live me or not.
If we take a moment to reflect on all the moments that we live, we have the opportunity to stop the momentum of ideals and beliefs that’s been driving us and see our beauty underneath.
Yes these stop moments of reflection are so valuable and easy to leave out in the busyness of daily life.
It really is mad how we put off what inevitably must be done and how we prolong getting places with what ever distractions can take us off course, when we can live the future now if we choose.
The way our world is set up, the complexity of it all, the systems, ideals, beliefs, pictures must do’s and needs…all working together seamlessly to keep our eyes fixed on this creation alone, reveals the true might and wisdom that we are. We have simply used it to hide in this creation, to forget this might and wisdom and become part of the set up. Now we can reclaim our might and use the universal wisdom that becomes available to get out of here, to undo what we have created and to free ourselves from this self-imprisonment.
‘just because life was ‘good’ – it did not give me a free pass to kick back and relax.’ Amazing realisation as you could say that this, the ‘good life’ is the worst place to be – sapping us from any pressing need to get out of the pain or issue or abuse, and dulling the awareness that this is actually not IT – despite the proliferation of ideals and media that try to convince us it is.
Yes, Nicole, we know exactly how much we can get away with in living against our true nature, and have the arrogance to assume that we can come back to truth whenever we choose to…and so irresponsibility perpetuates in our lives, our families and workplaces.
I agree Janet… the result of our collective irresponsibility is the wayward world we now currently live in.
“It had become a game: how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to?” In onther words do we make it about getting by in a comfortable way or do we make it about evolution and constant growth?
Who ever said we have to get it right all the time. What if perfection is accepting the imperfection?!
Perfection busting is very important and opens us up, as you say, to realising the magic, sweetness and simplicity of our imperfections.
The moment we stop excusing why things are so hard, we are accepting our grandness and everything that can come through us. What if everything in life is simple, but WE want it to be hard, so that we can define ourselves with the struggle, that we created in the first place?
It is easy to delay when we think, ‘Oh I’ll do that tomorrow’, but when we truly feel how lost humanity is and know that by our livingness we can make a difference, we can feel a greater sense of purpose.
Unless we feel everything there is to feel when we are hurt, then we close the door to evolution; we just keep going round and round in ignorance of what has been offered, to deal with.
When we address our denial, have we transmuted it and nailed its source?
I agree self-flagellation is just another form of indulgence and delay. Living fully is a letting go and allowing of all that we already are – no attaining required!
I agree Doug there is no learning when we ‘beat ourselves up so to speak’ instead it just keeps us in the same energy.
I love how you admitted to yourself how you felt and felt this.I know I can do a pretending all is well when there is a deep unsettlement I don’t want to feel, or a devastation. It is when I feel these feelings that then I come to a deeper understanding of truth and purpose in life.
“I’ll do it tomorrow, one more day won’t hurt… Avoiding tomorrow meant I didn’t have to feel the hurt.” But in truth we do hurt – every moment we aren’t living who we innately are, we are hurting ourselves. No wonder there is so much negativity in the world because we are all avoiding our truth and consequently frustrated and resentful of ourselves.
The simplicity of the answer you got to is most sobering: because I chose it.
The honesty opens up space to also realize that we can make different choices at any moment in time when don´t like the outcome of the previous ones. Simple.
Moments to reflect are the key to expanding our awareness. Every door we go through gives us such a moment and sometimes I find it difficult to fathom that there is no ending only more awareness.
We don’t reflect enough as a collective – there are so many distractions, spare time fillers, anxiety and busy-ness that take us away from these moments. But when we do reflect it is powerful as it gives us a moment to feel ourself and not the world around us.
I agree we absolutely don’t reflect enough as a collective, we also reflect not enough on the collective. Really observing what is going on in our world for humanity gives us purpose to live in connection to our soul and let come through what is needed for us to do and reflect.
‘I know I am not going to get it right all the time’ – This is a key point – life is never about perfection but about living our life true to ourselves to the best of our ability.
Yes. Thank you Nicole for describing exactly what I too feel…
This discovery of my part in not honoring my heart is extremely painful.
And I have also discovered that beating myself up about it is more of the same;
a sneaky way to keep avoiding ‘getting on with it’ and choosing to be more and more the immense, sensitive, loving being I truly am…
Living in procrastination of acting on the Truth I hold inside is so painful and harmful.
Without perfection, getting on with it is the only way forward for me now.
Thank you Serge for waking me up to this choice and the power I have with me to make it.
Having ‘it all’ can never compete with the joy of connecting to our inner joy, love and purpose and embracing all the bumpy bits in life for the opportunities they are to take things deeper, expand our awareness and how we care for everyone in life. It is quite scary how ‘the good life’ can subtly steer us off in the wrong direction.
It feels so honest how you discuss all the distractions that we choose to put in the way of our own development. I also can feel how when we move forwards with something, we can feel the leap forwards and feel the difference from where we were previously without feeling how much further there is to develop, and this also another distraction for us to allow sitting back on our laurels.
The fact is, if we didn’t all constantly keep putting road blocks in our way, none of us would still be here. The only reason we’re all still milling around on Earth is because we’re all actively employed in stalling our own evolution.
How wondrous will it be when the only thing that gets reflected is God in His essence.
Moments of reflection as your title goes, are invaluable spaces in my day where I might come to a deeper understanding, and/or have a moment of appreciation of something or somebody for example. For me they feel as important or necessary as drinking water or brushing my teeth.
Love the way this blog shows that we DO know, it is just a choice to avoid it, a choice that means at some point, we come back to face that truth.
I love your honesty, Nicole. There has certainly been a tendency within me and probably within most of us to avoid feeling our hurts, to create a life where we are just getting by rather than living the love and joy that is possible when we let go of our protection once and for all.
“There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose.” Absolutley there is. We observe, allow ourselves to feel and move on with a deeper and wiser understanding.
I agree the Universe continues to expand as do we – a never ending glorious expansion.
True! And backing yourself with whatever you are very strong with and letting everything else you keep in delay arise to that.
“I let myself sit, cry and feel all that was there to feel.” It is so important to not override what we feel. There is no right or wrong, but an allowance in that moment of what needs to be looked at. When we avoid this moment, we will always run away from a greater truth and choose reaction and distraction instead of deepening.
A moment to pause and reflect is always a good thing whether it is something to feel and appreciate or something to feel with regards to something we could have done differently. Then we have an opportunity to move in a different way after this, including making more loving choices or having more awareness (or not if that is what we choose). I know, from experience, if I continue to move towards loving myself and others more, even just taking baby steps, with definitely no perfection and without the odd slip up or fall, what continues to unfold is quite incredible, deeply beautifull and very supportive. A love far bigger than myself is felt.
I agree with you Nicole reconnecting to what my body knows and has always known, I know with every fiber of my body that I will not allow this to be squashed again. I have felt and dealt with the pain of walking away and it really wasn’t worth it.
I find it is very difficult to live me in every single moment because the way the world is currently set up there is much resistance to this. I would say thank your lucky stars you are someone that can see with eyes wide open the mess humanity is in and seemingly is quite content to be in which is why there is so much resistance to what you and others represent.
I agree Mary, the resistance can sometimes be thick as a wall and that can feel challenging and discouraging, however when I remind myself of the state of affairs in today’s society I know why I choose to live as true to myself as I possibly can.
We all need to get more honest about how our lives are playing out. It may look great from the outside ticking all the boxes but if we are not being true to ourselves we won’t get to know real joy for a long time to come.
The required energy to maintain our illusion of ticking all the boxes comes at a cost to our body.
‘…the thoughts I had been allowing to come in to keep me in a state of Un-Godliness…’ powerful realisation that we allow thoughts to come in to affect us like this, these become a self-imposed mental prison. Once we are aware of this all we have to do is start to move differently and our thoughts will change.
Yes, I love how our movements change our thoughts – so simple and yet so profound and healing.
My Heart enlightens when I allow those inner pauses to let go of the control I have put on my life all to play down the light I naturally was born with.
I do know too that feeling of awkwardness when confronted with my responsibilities in life, but what triggered me most was the awkwardness I now could see the world is in and what I contributed to it.
Superb and stark honesty in the face of knowing that we are so much more than what we think we are, thank you for this beautiful contribution.
We are the luminescent sparks of God pretending to be tarnished tin.
Every time our awareness expands we may have a moment where we become acutely aware of our choices so far. This is a great sign as we have done the most important thing: expand our awareness.
This is a really good point you have made Christoph and something I have definitely been aware of in my life in that sometimes when we make more loving choices before truly moving forward with these we get to feel all the unloving choice we have made. At times I have had to remind myself this is what is happening and then the past momentum I have lived that has not been loving clears.
I feel we are not making enough adjustment in our daily life and living to our awareness, and honouring the fact that we expanded through our choices. We are doing the work in one area but avoiding the grounding in the expression of it. Which lets us fall back to old platforms instead of moving with everything that is on offer.
I often wonder who this “we” is who does not embrace what is on offer and that people write about in comments – are they speaking for “all of us” whoever the “us” is?! Usually it does not feel true for me – for example in this case I can tell you that I make constant adjustments in my life and am very honouring and confirming of them. Living this way is an absolute joy, so if you are one of the “we” that is not I highly recommend it!
It all starts with honesty which then leads to expansion and getting out of our self-imposed prison.
You are right, we do all have an innate knowing that knows what is true for us and what is not – crazy how we still choose to override this knowing even though we know deep down the harm it causes.
We can make little adjustments to convince ourselves we are evolving but all the while we remain comfortable and avoid taking full responsibility for ourselves, for our lives and our choices… in effect we remain insular and avoid looking at the bigger, grander picture.
… and we might continue to procrastinate, kidding ourselves that we will attend to whatever it is that needs attending to when in fact, there is only ever the present moment, followed by another present moment and tomorrow never comes.
Taking a moment to reflect can bring profound realisations that transform our lives… how powerful then is a moment?!
‘It had become a game: how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to?’ – Only if we are willing to look with absolute honesty at the game we are actually playing, can we start to make a true change.
‘If things were going well, it flowed. I was healthy, financially well off and supported, no arguments in the relationship, the kids were happy, so why bother to change anything.’ this is the comfort that holds us locked in a way of living which is not truly serving anyone and yet appears to fit the model of all that we should aspire to.
This level for comfort is only good for what we currently can see and touch in our little bubble. What we are deigning our self from are the wonders that exist that we can’t see yet. There are more galaxies than there are grains of sand on earth, so why limit our self and our part in the big picture.
Very true Michael, the question really is how do we want our life to be? Are we looking for the surface good life or something where we truly feeling fulfilled?
True, Michael. There is very little in society today that encourages us to live to the highest standard of love and integrity as most of us are driven by self-preservation, comfort and security. That is why the Universal Medicine teachings are pure gold, leading the way back to truth in spite of our resistance.
Once you have a marker of that Glory, that is the marker to live (love).
We have many markers in life but most are not based on the glory you talk about and make us return to the same loveless situation over and over again. But once we find the Glory of true love we will never look for the old markers again as they will be dissolved by the true markers of love we then have established.
Yes Nicole, I understand that gnawing feeling deep inside me that reflects to me the fullness of who I truly am and do not choose to live. Knowing the depth of God’s love supports me to make the turn towards home once again as I have so many times before and to deeply appreciate myself in that.
Often I feel my past prevents me from moving forward and regret can stop me in my tracks, but I know this is nonsense, and although I am responsible for my past choices they definitely don’t map the future.
I am not sure if our past prevents us from moving forward. It may slow us down or make it more likely we get distracted but outright prevention may not be inevitable.
Every moment brings another choice, another opportunity to embrace and further our otherworldliness.
Some people will reminisce on past ill choices to hold themselves back when we should not regret these bad choices but use them as makers that allow us to move forward.
So significant that you found “what I have come to realise is that each time I take that step away from what I know to be true and needed, I only ever take half a step back to myself as I begin the walk back through the muddy footprints I walked away in.” Even when it looks like we have totally gotten away with it, we haven’t really.
“It had become a game: how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to? ” I so recognise that game I have played it throughout my life and when I look back there is a huge arrogance that I think I can see how far I can wander into creations playing field and think I can get away with it. The truth is we never do get away with it because unless we feel the full devastation the steps back to feeling ‘good’ seem more than enough.
Yes I agree, Nicole, that we can spend most of our lives making small adjustments and convincing ourselves we are growing and evolving, but all the while staying entrenched in our comfort and delaying our return to the joy and grandness of true responsibility.
“If things were going well, it flowed. I was healthy, financially well off and supported, no arguments in the relationship, the kids were happy, so why bother to change anything.” A beautiful example of how we settle for ‘better’ and relinquish all incentive to evolve and deepen our awareness as we accept the illusion that we achieved the pinnacle of life.
Walking back ‘through the mud’ is a paradox of being both horrible and the greatest joy to do as by doing so one attains the holy grail – the re-connection to one’s Soul.
If we truly understand how everything is supporting us to return to truth and that humanity’s health depends on us to heal our hurts, we cannot live with regret but move forward with resolute and complete purpose.
With all that is on offer from our soul, the glory that is within reach for us all, there must be something we like about not living all that we are. Otherwise it would be so very plain and simple. It is these likes or addiction to the lesser vibration than that of our essence that need to be examined recognized and let go of.
Love it Ariana reflect yes but not stay still, what have we got inside to shine to the world. My experience has been there is always a diamond inside ready to shine.
Nicole, it is beautiful that you are choosing to be all of you and to not stay in the comfort of familiarity.
Nicole, this feels so true; ‘There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose. Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing, and I was the only one that could initiate that – no one else.’ This is a great reminder that our evolution and life is in our hands and that we have the power and ability to change and to develop.
For me I have been feeling that everything I do and say has an impact on everyone else so where am I with myself. I have no right for example to get frustrated as the energy of frustration can be felt by everyone else too there is an impact of everything we do and say. So is that impact loving or harming? I can feel the greater responsibility of this towards others. That’s not to say I don’t get frustrated I do, but as soon as I feel it in my body I stop and consider my choices leading up to the feeling of frustration and bring myself back as quickly as possible.
Reading this and thinking to myself, am I ever going to get to that place where I think enough is enough and start living the truth of what I feel is important to me? So many games I can play, and so much drama I can create just to avoid feeling the absolute beauty that resides deep within.
Amazing Nicole, moments like these are a gentle nudge from our Soul reminding us that we have stepped away from living the grandness we are.
Giving ourselves a hard time is never productive – that sharp moment of realisation is necessary as we have to feel the difference between how we are choosing to live, and the potential, but then wielding a big stick for the rest of the day, week or month is not it. You feel the disconnection, and then its all about the love – that is what brings me back, inspires me to be more, to share more.
When we walk away from our self, it is a slippery slope we travel downhill that accelerates us as we go. There are many times where assistance and support from others can help us find a dry spot for us to re-ascend to who we are.
“the good life’ is deadly as it lulls us into comfort and complacency. Why strive for something more when we have everything we need, right? No, this is the very moment we need to push the boat out and ask to be given more. Complacency leads to stagnation.
I know those moments you speak of Nicole where I think omg this is awful, devastating and the yuckiness I feel the most is how that has affected others. I now know though that there is nothing we can’t come back from and that at these times I need to up my love not deplete it even more by beating myself up.
Well said Aimee, at those times we do need to up the love and even appreciate the fact that we were willing to see it and be honest about in the first place.
The beauty with becoming more aware is that you then will be confronted with your own hand in the misery you then find yourself in, that there is no one to blame for this and that you are now free to move on and work yourself out of it and to make other more loving choices.
When you find you stand in the mud and that you want to get out of it, you must not be afraid to walk back through this mud that you then will find is of your own creation.
I’ll do it tomorrow can be such a lie. By definition tomorrow is always tomorrow!
Mañana, mañana is often said and as we all know then nothing will change or been done so saying so is keeping us all in the misery we collectively are in.
My father use to say ‘Tomorrow never comes” There is only the moment we’re in to make the choice to align to truth, everything else is a delay and of course at our own expense.
Moments of reflection can be very healing when we honour what has been felt in our next movement.
‘just because life was ‘good’ – it did not give me a free pass to kick back and relax.’ We have opportunities to evolve every day, through reflections provided to us by all those we have relationships with.
Yes, we have been clever at setting it up for ourselves. Temporal life is exactly what we have created it and allowed it to be.
I so agree Nicole how we have that feeling of knowing of what is needed and then we make the opposite choice. It is a set up, a game where we can be arrogant and override what we know, just because we can. Instead of being hard on ourselves, it is great to understand the games at play and not allow ourselves to get caught up in them, but realise the impact of our choices.
There is so much poison in beating oneself up for our past choices and as so beautifully expressed here only delays us further. Yet there are consequences for these non loving choices and that is the walking back through those imprints.
“A moment to reflect’ … only a moment, but that moment can be inspirational, transformational, super powerful and profound when we reflect on the truth offered in that space.
“I have always had an innate feeling, a knowing of what was needed, the choices I could make and should make, but avoided at all costs.” I suspect this is true for every one of us Nicole… whether we choose to admit it or not. We are born with this innateness – our resulting life is testament to whether we have chosen to follow this inner knowing or not. Life is simply about choices.
Good on you Nicole for allowing yourself to really feel something, It takes a lot of courage to do that. Often that can only happen after a major disruption such as an accident or illness/disease when we are brought to our knees (metaphorically speaking).
To be living less than who we are is a great pain to feel and one that we have to work very hard at to ignore. I can also relate to giving yourself a hard time when the realisations come, but this gets me nowhere and keeps me in the same place I have dwelled for far too long.
Every moment is a moment of reflection, that’s what life is, one long moment that constantly reflects us back to ourselves.. How else would we know who we are?
‘I have always had an innate feeling, a knowing of what was needed, the choices I could make and should make, but avoided at all costs.’ Yes we can stubbornly hold on to creation and not take the responsibility to live this knowing, as knowing is one but to make the choice to live it is another thing and step two.
I recognise that ache when we reawaken to the fact that we are nowhere near where we could be and that it is all due to our own choice to settle for less. Universal Medicine workshops are great at such reminders, but also the healing and support that facilitates the ability to observe and understand what has been churned up, as well as an empowered and responsible relationship with life going forward.
Our future is not dictated by our past.. i.e while we may have to deal with the consequences of past choices, at no point does that mean that we are condemned to repeat our past choices for the rest of time. Our choices in every moment determine the quality of the next.
Yes the arrogance that can live with us…..the falling back on old ways…of procrastinating and delaying….it makes us more tired and a justification comes in as the viscous circle is repeated….but we are living in a human body and we are far from perfect …not to make any excuses for ourselves but to hold ourselves in love as we choose more care and nurturing to support our way back to soul.
‘there was always a plethora of things at my beck and call when I needed to avoid feeling the purpose of life.’ – The number of distractions we use to stay put are countless and we have no problem finding excuses for choosing them.
I know that feeling of self-judgement and criticism when I realise the honesty of something and how I made a choice I regretted, but also know that it does not work and only keeps me stuck in the same rut without learning anything so great blog Nicole, and thanks so much for discussing this.
I love what you share Ariana, as it can be very easy to be down on ourselves, to be critical and harsh when we stuff up, but saying what can I learn from this, move on (and yes, shine) is a great thing.
Reflecting on all that comes our way – people, situations, nature – only takes a moment to feel the truth of what is being offered… and in the next moment we have an opportunity to make a loving choice.
Giving ourselves a hard time, only succeeds in hardening us and distracting us from making a new and more loving choice in the next moment.
Comfort -> discomfort.
I could say it also the other way around discomfort = comfort for the spirit does not care about feeling good it simply wants to identify and being miserable or in discomfort can be very identifying, well known and thus comfortable.
So true, hence: Comfort discomfort
When life is good there seems little reason to go any deeper, to make an active choice to evolve. Hence it is one of our biggest evils, because there is little incentive to make life about love, truth and integrity when we have established a big comfortable life to lounge about in.
Ah so true Rowena. The same as when we don’t allow ourselves to feel the amazingness we are and the life we do live because there are bumps in the road and that pesky belief that says you can’t be all that until this changes or that stops. Something I am realising at the moment.
When we create a big cushion for us to sit on, filled with nice and good, we can become filled with inertia. We are here to evolve, to make the most of this human life and learn what we can, express what we can, evolve ourselves and others.
It is always great to stop and ask ourselves questions, including why are we living a life less than what we know ourselves to be (or even if we don’t know it is always worth asking the question is there more to what I am currently living and seeing). What I have found in the past is that I would ask the question but really quickly and then just move on to the next thing forgetting that I have asked myself the question! Now I am starting to see and feel more that there is a deepening within me where I take the time to really start to look and knuckle out things in my body and life that I know are holding me back from being more of or all of the true me. Something for me to appreciate here.
Are we just placating ourselves when we ask “why did I do that”? It becomes an automatic response like walking by some you know and saying ‘Hi how are you’ and the automatic response of fine is returned by both. We really don’t want a real answer to our questions? Could we feel safer in our bubbles? The strange thing is, by being all we are and open in all we do, to the best of our abilities, makes us secure without trying!
It is never to heal and come back to seeing and living the truth. Judgement exists only in time. Understanding is timeless and offers space.
Beautifully said Joshua. I don t know if you meant to leave out the words ‘to late’ as in, ‘It is never … to heal and come back to seeing and living truth, though it is on point as far as truth being ‘timeless’ and offering space.:)
I used to be the queen of regret and self flagellation, so can very much relate to your sharing, Nicole. This can continue for days, months or lifetimes, until we are willing to face our hurts and move on, as it is merely a story to delay our return to grandness and the responsibility of walking through life in our power.
Absolutely and this x in the road is offered all the time, unwaveringly so even if we missed one, or took a different route there will be another crossroad presented leading us back.
Feeling the absolute yuckiness seems to be the only thing that truly pulls us to change. Numbing ourselves to reality just let’s us meander on in a state of quiet abuse.
Great comment Joseph, sometimes we need a reality check to wake us up to what is really going on and to cut through the distractions, numbing and denial that is so easy to dip into to offset the tension we feel inside when we are not living true to ourselves.
We become a bit sheepish that are allowed to roam and graze and are occasionally herded back in then left to follow the herd and the cycle continues.
This makes so much sense Joseph because most of the time we tend to avoid feeling the yuckiness which at the same time is avoiding feeling the truth of what is really going on.
I love the expression ‘a state of quiet abuse’ for it is spot on for those who seem to manage life well. I used to be one of these people, on the outside solid and well together, but underneath it was a deeply ingrained self-loathing that was affecting every move I made in life. It was just so normal to me that I di not think there could be another way. It is for this reason that is not only important to heal for ourselves but to show all those we encounter that it is possible to live without self-criticism.
‘It took me a while, but eventually I realised giving myself a hard time, beating myself up, only kept me in the momentum of that choice – a choice I was trying to move away from.’ This is such a clever set up for it stops us from actually putting the realization to work so to speak, as now we are unworthy and ‘bad’ people. It is all part of the same game though, it is still the insatiable thirst for self, and self does not need to be good or bad, it just needs to be defined. And so we set ourselves on the merry-go-round of being bad, trying hard to become better and in the trying knowing we will fail and n the failing being bad again. All the time we are identifying with where we are on this cycle but never does it allow us to see and feel that non of this is part of who we truly are.
It is what we do with these moments of reflection that determine if we move on and evolve, do we make choices that take us out of our comfort or do we stay stuck in our emotional prison. Accepting that the tension is our friend and it is ok to feel the discomfort because it is in these moments that we can make true changes that support our evolution back to Soul
‘ I’ll do it tomorrow, one more day won’t hurt, but tomorrow never came, and it did hurt.’ It is this game with time we all play, tomorrow will be the day we make the changes we feel from our bodies we need to make. Whether it is changing our diet, taking more care of ourselves or being in the fulness of who we are. We think we are ‘stealing time’ just indulging for one more day and then we will get sorted. The mistake in this scenario is that our choices of today determine the choices of tomorrow and so tomorrow becomes today based on the quality we have lived and so we create this loophole in which we can escape responsibility for as long as we want.
“There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose” – yes because there is always more to love itself, to its grandness and depth that we uncover the more we commit to purpose. So they’ll always be a tension point within because of love’s continual expansion and its infinity.
We’re not meant and it’s not natural for us to give ourselves a hard time. We choose less and keep choosing less but that’s ok from the perspective that in this moment we choose us and all of us and keep building on this.
Inspiring. I feel so much in common with you here in the hurt of holding back for so long and trying to control the amount that can be expressed and lived. Time to surrender and allow it all to flow.
It is actually very healing to have these moments of realisation that what we have invested in life is not it. To allow ourselves to feel the deep sadness of our choices gives us an opportunity to understand that something needs to change and this opens up our awareness of the fact that there is more to life.
Ultimately there are only two choices to make – to connect and express who we are with no apology, experienceing all the vitality and richness that accompanies this, or to disconnect and create a reality that reduces life focussing on emotions and getting caught up in them as a distraction. Either way the choice is ours to make.
If we seriously did not like what we have done, we would simply not repeat the same choice. What I have found is that I use regret to buy time, to further delay making different choices, and while I am at it, I may look like I care but the truth is that I actually have some more investment in staying where I am at that I am not quite ready to let go of.
‘There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose’. A timely reminder that there is always more love to access, share and express, and never to sit back and cruise in comfort or because life feels good.
Sometimes the only thing left to do, is to sit with oneself and feel all there is to feel, no matter how hard that may seem, to feel the rawness and to feel the vulnerability, for it is in this space that we can shift easily to make any necessary changes or refinements to one’s life.
When we realise we have reached that crossroad, how much more energy does it require to fight the natural flow back to who we have always been?
No matter what we believe we do have to face our choices and there is no getting away with anything and what I have found out the hard way is by doing nothing is as bad as doing something bad.
Walking in our muddy footprints are going towards the light rather then than deeper into the cave we have created. The light at the end of the tunnel is ours.
It is easy to wallow on the mess it’s a good distraction from simply getting on with what is next. I know the delay it’s in my legs the right holding on to things just as they are, within my control. The body will always show how the life lived. There is no escaping our glory it’s just how much you say yes to what is on offer. Having a very loving understanding of why we have delayed seems key to me. Then say yes to what is next.
Regrets and beating ourselves up are indeed a great way to keep ourselves in our existing choices, all the while telling ourselves we don’t want them, the truth is there’s no place for either if we want to move away from choices we’ve made and choose differently.
Life is a bit like a dog on a lead, forever trying to pull us forwards, it is us that acts like a permanently disgruntled dog owner, constantly trying to yank it back.
It is a game isn’t it, can we catch ourselves out?! The saddest thing is we are the only ones we are cheating and that is the pain that hits us when we realise that all that we have had so much choice.
We can feel, we know we can feel, we can read situations from the energy we feel in our bodies, but perhaps we don’t like to know, we don’t like what we are reading, so we eat to dull the awareness. We judge ourselves to keep ourselves small and pretend we didn’t read anything. But we do and life then becomes a conflict of knowing but pretending we don’t know. Simplicity is in living light, allowing the feelings to be in our field of awareness, creating spaciousness in our bodies so that all is fully known, the Ageless Wisdom that is always there, that can truly guide our every movement and every word we speak. No need to think, just a simple choice of what energy to align to.
Carmel when I read your words “the Ageless Wisdom that is always there”, I could feel the truth of these words, I could feel the incredible intimacy of The Ageless Wisdom.
“the Ageless Wisdom that is always there” and thus the indulgence of self-bashing is exposed.
It can be hard to face the reality of our choices, how we have chosen less and the consequences of those choices – but I find that the only way to move forward is not to feel guilt or dwell on the past choices, but move forward making different ones.
I agree Rebecca and to be honest with ourselves is key to supporting us to evolve and step out of our current state of misery and loveless ways.
Yes, so now is the time to open up to the awareness that is on offer for everybody and live God’s truth on earth.
We can use regrets to keep us in the past and delay us, to stay in a game that our spirit wants us to stay in, or we can learn from what we have done or allowed and move on.
I love that you actually allowed yourself to be with what you were feeling. I have had times where I would start crying and think ‘what am I crying about’ and then would just let myself be with whatever was coming up rather than trying to pinpoint exactly what was going on for me in that moment.
We never really get away with anything, no matter how big the cover up.
It’s refreshing to read a work in progress rather than a perfect package. This willingness to be transparent is so healing for everyone. Thank you for going there.
“It had become a game: how far can I go, how much can I stray and yet still come back when I wanted to?” Wow, what a line, I can relate. We do know there is more to live in life, I see it in myself and how I can use comparison of how life used to be to how life is now as an excuse to not keep moving, growing and evolving. There is more… what a great reminder.
Yes I relate very much to this line also… it is incredibly arrogant. And that feels very ugly to actually feel.
There is more… this is a great reminder and, for myself, I can say that I need to accept it and take the responsibility that comes with it, rather than turn away because I like the comfort of staying where I am.
Yes, the big ouch of all times. But when are we going to stop beating ourselves up about it and start living our truth?
How freeing it is when we finally choose to take the step off from the familiar hamster-wheel-of-existence-going-round-in-purposeless-circles and make different choices in our living way. The joy of a life unfolding filled with true purpose, commitment, awareness and responsibility becomes the new-normal.
“Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing, and I was the only one that could initiate that – no one else”.
Feeling the hurt our choices cause and allowing ourselves that sensitivity. Rather than berating ourselves this can support us to not make the same mistake. The berating actually leads us to doing it again!
When we realise something it is good to feel the pain of all that what we haven’t done but could have done, but it is no good to regret for not having done it because it is inevitably in the past and cannot be redone, but we can move on with this realisation and know now to take our steps more wisely.
Yes, let our choices from the past be part and parcel of our education for our next movements so when the same choices come round again we bring a wiser body to the situation.
It is great to feel the tension if our own delay. When we feel it we have a mark to move forward from.
Nicole I love your honesty and how there is no perfection in returning back to who we truly are. One of the biggest killers is that comfort we so easily like to ride on, not bringing ourselves in our fullness to every moment and making the most of what is there to be expressed. Losing sight of purpose is a slow but guaranteed life of misery and hurt.
To lose sight of something you’ve got to have seen it in the first place and most of us are completely clueless when it comes to true purpose, we haven’t had it or seen it for eons!
A picture that captures a painful moment that could stretch easily into food for the spirit.
‘I have always had an innate feeling, a knowing of what was needed, the choices I could make and should make, but avoided at all costs.’ – How relatable Nicole – we DO know and it is painful to admit and accept that our choices are not always corelating with what we innately feel.
It is often painful and at very least uncomfortable when we realise life is like it is because that’s the way we’ve chosen it to be, – there is no one to blame, and therefore it’s also an empowering place to be as we know that change is very possible.
There is a big difference between feeling our hurts and becoming our hurts. We can make the choice not to live life through them. What a difference that makes.
Regret feels like such a pointless emotion. Allowing ourselves to feel the rawness of the resentment, anger or whatever else it is we feel is an important part of letting it go, but always in the knowing that those emotions are not the core of who we are.
Regret very much keeps us in the past, a moment in time that is on a permanent re-run. It’s quiet some of the time and then at others it’s front and centre.
That is the key Bryony, to know that we are not the hurts because then they have a chance to leave.
Very well said Bryony. We may have made some unloving choices but the core of who we are never changes and once we accept and realise who we are then we are more able to live our true selves to the max and don’t shy away from letting the world see how amazing we all are.
We don’t do our selves or anyone else any favours by beating our selves up because we have dilly-dallied our way through life. We simply need to wise up and get on with it, to embody and express our love and truth in all we do, so as to restore the quality of God in minutest detail to every inch of life.
The easy choice is always to do nothing (ie to walk away). Maybe it’s a case of making the easy choice NOT to walk away…a reconfiguration.
Making those choices to NOT do certain things that we know don’t really serve us or anyone else is how we change our foundations and standards in life.
This is really supportive Nicole as I feel I have reached a crossroads and I have a choice to live what is true but in order to do that I have to drop the niceness that has infected so much of my life. I am being offered so many opportunities to step up and I need to discern what is true and what is a distraction from this path and it will involve some challenging conversations that I would have avoided in the past but staying in the comfort of my old life no longer feels like an option.
Helen I really enjoyed reading your comment thank you. What I am learning is that no matter what is going on there is always more power (from our soul) to be lived and that everything is an opportunity. I can really resist this at times because I have a picture of how I want or expect life to be, but underneath it all is a constant opportunity to evolve.
This sounds familiar Helen – avoiding those challenging converstaions no longer feels like an option. But I am constantly surprised how when I do say what needs to be said, how a situation can turn around into one that is positive leaving both parties empowered, rather than the other way around.
Life is not perfect, it never will be. But to be honest about our choices and its effects, and allowing to feel the hurt that we cause ourselves, is a great step to true change. I love these moments of rawness as they bring us a step closer to our soul and truth.
What I am becoming aware of in my livingness is that living steady in connection to myself and saying yes to love and what is on offer is all that is needed; that’s not to say that there will not be hiccups on the way – there are and they are a much needed part of my journey such as letting go of any regret and lack of commitment, as this just hinders and delays me further from living my day in the glory of who I am.
It’s easy to go into comfort when you have more or less everything you could need, as in a job, lovely family, a partner or not, but calling it out and recognising that there is still a tension to evolve out of the comfort is another thing.
It’s also easy to go into comfort when you have very little of what you need. The comfort and familiarity of less. Both are cocoons in which we choose to stay encapsulated.
It is the self bashing that keeps us in the very place we don’t want to be, it’s a double whammy as you say Nicole, so the first step is to be honest about our choices and the next is not to bash our selves for the choices we have made.
A life never stops, there is no plateau in the sky which when we get there means we made it and things will now be the same, fully known, perfect or any of those ideals we hold so dear. The fact is the universe is constantly shifting, growing and we are an integral part of that. As such it is a constant to monitor, feel and respond to our day and our lives – taking our lead from the all around us.
“feel all that was there to feel” when we choose to feel all that we have walked away from is when we can also choose to walk back to truth.
I really get this, so often than not we choose to feel only parts of things and not all there is, it’s often when I’m concerned what will happen if i feel everything. However, every time I am open to feel everything then I am never disappointed and always left understanding life in greater depth.
Thank you for your deep and very raw honesty Nicole, it has certainly resonated deeply in my body, with these words speaking very loudly. “The realisation and devastation of what I had been avoiding was overwhelming, it hurt and was not something I could run away from; it was in my body, raw, uncomfortable and confronting.” I too have recently realised the devastation that I was still holding in my body from choices made to not say yes to who I truly am and, in the process, the choice to hold all that I am back from the world. I know now that the pain of holding back is nothing compared to the joy of living the true and glorious me; a work in progress but one totally committed to.
I feel that, although it is great that you have come to such honesty, when you are expressing this for the wider population of internet readers, it would be very helpful to describe what Un-Godliness and therefore Godliness actually means for you, and what absoluteness means for you, so we can be greatly inspired by your journey in very relatable and practical terms.
Nicole another deeply supportive article that helps everyone understand that to stay caught up in regret doesn’t change anything, that no matter how ‘good’ life maybe – it is our choice to fully embrace who we are and life that love in full, a love that we will not know the depth of when we start and one that will forever deepen in my experience so far. The key is indeed no regret or beating oneself up but constant honesty about what is actually going on with ourselves and our relationships with God, people and evolution.
Beautiful David, wise and true. We do not know the depth of love that we are and that beholds us but every step on the way is one that brings us more into the livingness of it, which is the only way to experience it, and from this experience we will open up to the next platform and the next and the next…
Beating ourselves up pummels us to the spot, there can be no evolution and no love whilst we have a club in our hand.
Regret is a contraction in the body that has a similar flavour to it as sadness. As long as we’re in regret we can’t evolve because regret is like wearing concrete boots as far as evolution goes. Remove regret and as long as it’s not replaced by any other emotion then we’re free to move on.
It’s way too easy to go into beat ourselves up mode when we realise where we are not where it is at, but this is an indulgence in its own way so best avoided by making the choices that don’t lead us down that path.
Comfort is the rust on our life we chose to accept willingly!
There is an interesting question here, why do we want to step back rather than step forward. What is it we are avoiding and by avoiding we actually increase or deepen the pain of what we can feel. It doesn’t make sense.
Why is it that we want the comfort of ‘phew I made it’ vs the so much more interesting position of ‘wow what is that on the horizon’. There are always new challenges, more to learn. When I’m in good shape I relish that, and when I’m not I tend to want to look backwards!
It does not make sense and in my mind I totally understand the mechanism. The hook to be identified with whatever we choose, may it be suffering, thoughts, drive, distraction, success, numbing is though too strong, as it feels more familiar and seemingly secure than letting go of self and living the truth in full power. It is a resurrection we all need to undergo indeed, to eventually live the multidimensionality we all come from and trust heaven more than the three dimensional life that is lived and pursued here on earth.
I know that tension in my body well, knowing that I am not being all that I could be and also knowing it is down to my choices and excuses, so this blog really is a kick up the back side.
A great conversation to be had and shared Nicole and one I can relate to. Thank you.
“. . . giving myself a hard time, beating myself up, only kept me in the momentum of that choice – a choice I was trying to move away from.” That is exactly the game most of us are playing – therefore it is good to see it so honestly written down as it is a good reflection right into our face and an invitation to stop this game!
Just keep going deeper with truth every day, get out of the habit of settling for ‘just enough’ and your heart will do the rest.
This is gorgeous, Joseph. Bringing the heart into it is an all encompassing visual that feels embracing and oh so true.
Whenever we wallow in regret we can feel very stuck and get ourselves caught up in delay and irresponsibility.
When we feel into our hurts and sadness and be open to look deep into what is the cause, it seems to come back the fact that what hurts the most is our choice to step away from love.
It is the ultimate hurt we all carry inside us. Whenever I work with people in front of my camera, they often say: but when I don´t smile, I look sad. When we take away our masks it shows up and the question is, are we willing to allow that feeling and deal with it or are we masking it all our life.
We are all involved in playing an elaborate game of charades for lifetime after exhaustive lifetime and I for one am sick of playing.
Me too Alexis, the energy spent in holding back who we are can be so much better spent in making true choices and following them through.
Nicole there is something so emphatic and resolute in what you have expressed and it is that that feels very motivating to me. It feels like you’ve made an irrefutable decision to step up and stand out no matter what and I’m cheering you all the way!
Giving ourselves a hard time keeps us in a double bind as Nicole describes – we make mistakes, we berate ourselves which induces more mistakes which means more berating and so on. It is much harder to stop making mistakes than to stop berating ourselves so we can start with the latter at any time.
The images and ideals of how this should look comes flooding in when we start to question and often we are left heading back down the same path. Surrendering to what is next and allowing the pictures to fall to the side is the most powerful and healing movements in life.
Life never stands still, and neither do we: if we try to stay still, holding on to what is comfortable and familiar, what has past, or what might be, we get stagnant and feel stuck… and we often then bury ourselves in projects, relationships or the busyness of life so as to not feel the stagnation, and the emptiness that we feel when we’re not fully embracing ourselves, and life, with 100% all of us. The way out of this stagnation and stuckness is not more projects and more distractions, but to allow space to feel what we’re holding on to and to let go, and receive the impulse of whatever is next.
By embracing the impulse of whatever is next, the magic of life unfolds around us.
I agree Steve and by ignoring and resisting life’s impulses we ensure it’s retardation and stagnation.
In truth it is quite simple to stop and feel our choices… and once felt, we are free to move on. It is not wanting to take responsibility for our choices that creates the avoidance of such simplicity … we have become experts at making life complicated.
Your honesty here is inspiring Nicole … it is the hurt of not living our truth that we avoid feeling at all costs – hence all the myriad of distractions we have in the world today.
Appreciating ourselves is also important as we acknowledge where we have been in life, and the changes we continue to make – there may be some backwards steps but appreciating that we continue to move forward as well confirms us on our true path.
It is so important to bring understanding to all that we feel and all that we choose because then we can make the next choice a loving one, rather than beat ourselves up and stay playing that same-old game.
Thank you for the honesty with which you share the devastation and hurt from your past choices which I can really relate to and have often got frustrated with myself in the past for how often I allow myself to be distracted from my true path. The awesome thing is that we are constantly offered another opportunity and our next movement can always be towards truth.
In the end, we know what we are doing and that we are choosing it even when at the time we would swear an oath that we don´t or can´t think, feel or act differently and or would not have known what was really going on and the consequences that would follow. Thus the regret when we eventually are willing to face the situation and everything that has come from it, but it is a good and necessary ‘take stock moment’ that when accepted and attended to with understanding is deeply healing and liberating.
Sometimes when we allow ourselves to feel the devastation of our own withdrawal from love, truth and essentially our true power, there is a moment whereby all the energetic poison we have called on to hold us back, must be released. Like weathering a storm that will eventually pass, the key is to hold steady, allow the cleansing to take place and know that the dark clouds will eventually pass so that the sun may shine in full beam unobscured by the clouds no longer.
It is a total illusion that we think we get away with…well anything really. I appreciate what you share here Nicole as it is a game that I am playing at the moment as well and my feeling is that if I don’t get super honest and allow myself to feel it like you have here, I will only have to up the ante of the distractions to not feel the pain of walking away. And this will only make things worse.
A mistake is easy to deal with. Try and come out of a self-destruction spiral in the form of betterment and improvement… now that’s something olympic medals could be given out for.
I could relate to what you have written here Nicole. I have been feeling the devastation of living in the comfort and security of not speaking up and expressing what I feel or acting on what I know to be true, I have done this most of my life and I am feeling the comfort I have created that allows others to sit comfortably where they are. I am learning that devastation is not a bad thing to feel but wallowing in it is. When I feel the devastation with my body it is very different to feeling it with my mind, my mind will give me all the negative thoughts that accompany devastation whereas feeling it with my body feels, real, raw, and painful like I have been woken from a long slumber. It is now my choice to feel what my next step is and to make sure I don’t hide or shy away from life no matter what is presented to me.
The Universe is always expanding. If we “kick back and relax” we are not evolving which means we are longer congruent with the flow of the Universe, in fact we are in opposition to it.
Swim against the tide or let the current take us, swim against the tide or let the current take us, swim against the tide or let the current take us, we are constantly choosing one or the other.
A constant choice, the constant presence of the unconditional love of God.
Beating oneself up does not achieve anything other than keeping one stuck in exactly what does not want. Self-love and appreciation are the antidotes to regret.
Most definitely Jstewart52 and these antidotes are free and readily available to us all at any time. Why would we not use them to the max just shows how much our spirit loves being stuck in misery and regret?
Also by not choosing them it just shows how much we have bought into the belief of our lack of worthiness and thence the power we must have to be able to deny our Godhood.
Regret for many can last a lifetime, which is like carrying the energetic equivalent of a lead weight around your neck.
Which also imprisons one in the past, retarding one’s evolution.
Agreed jstewart in exactly the same way that living in the future also retards our evolution. The gateway to evolution comes through being consciously present with our bodies.
Walking away from the truth we feel inside does hurt. There is no getting away from that fact. Eventually, we have to deal with the hurt by being honest about why we walked away in the first place.
‘There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose.’ Noticing the distractions we use is a very necessary way to uncover the games we play to stay small and avoid oneself, life, the bigger picture and the purpose.
We are life, the bigger picture and the purpose.
Yes it’s so easy to put practical things first like I do have to do the cleaning, I do have to do this work now and put it before things that are needed on an energetic level. Practical things are important but there always needs to be a balance and we do know when we use these house chores as an excuse and when they are truly needed.
Truth is very tenderising. It strips back the lies and asks you to be absolutely raw and naked in the love you truly are. It can be confronting but with it when embraced comes yet more joy, love and responsibility to embrace and to live. This is evolution.
It is true that we can make changes and choices to better our lives or be more comfortable – but this is not evolving – this is not truly loving to ourselves or others. At the end of the day it is up to us to make the next move and know in full why we are choosing it.
You describe well here how we like to determine how much to do and what to do and when things are enough and when we are willing to do more.
‘I have always had an innate feeling, a knowing of what was needed, the choices I could make and should make, but avoided at all costs.’ – don’t we all have this knowing, and then the we have a bottomless suitcase of excuses and reasons to avoid knowing the knowing. Eventually we will just except we know… and then let the real magic happen.
It is a very insidious game we play – can I do this, can I do that, what can I get away with without anyone noticing or without losing my connection to myself, how far can we push it, how far can we stray – it is such a childish and irresponsible behaviour when we could be seeing how many steps we can take forward rather than back.
Thankyou for your beautiful deep honest sharing Nicole. Living a comfortable life isn’t it, but oh so easy to justify until we reach a place, like you did, when we wake up to why we are truly alive in the earth this time around.
The comfortable life is not that comfortable, it leaves us feeling depleted and empty so it makes no sense that we would chose it again and again.
Giving ourselves a hard time or beating ourselves up over choices we have or have not made is never the answer. But it is great to feel all there is to be felt and from this point we can then make sobering choices of how we do want to live. It is never about being perfect and there will always be more for us to feel, see, observe and be aware of.
Such an amazing, timely blog for me to read as I feel how anything less than love leads me straight into comparison, fatigue, doubt, self fury etc. Frustration, berating too as I know this isn’t me. Coming to the honesty of admitting the one step away, half step forward every time I fool myself that I can delay and return when I want. Yes, I know to really pause with this one as I still want to cling to this escape hatch from life that isn’t an escape at all but just a retreat to the mind while my body cops it; let alone how others have to witness another body getting beaten up by life. How do they react? Is it the confirmation they seek to also retreat and seek comfort? Is this the reflection I want to be giving to the world and living?
Self-flagellation only deepens the wounds, which creates deeper tension and it does become pain-full to extricate one-self out the hole we have dug. Once out the gaping hole becomes obvious and when we apply a self-loving way of deepening our connection to being more Loving in all we do then hole avoidance becomes simple. Then as the pit falls of life have shown their ugly hand we can walk connected to our essences and see clearly a True path.
Wounds by their nature are less flexible. What would we move like, if ill choices were real scars on our body?
Could it be that on some level we do carry all our hurts and “ill choices” thus we still have to deal with them all? So flexibility is up to us to move in a way that undoes all our abusive ways and this must incorporate some True-healing, which is within itself a movement that is self-loving.
Without feeling all the devastation there is no way we can make different choices and yet it is the part that I have avoided most.
It is only through our true love of humanity and hate of all the harm we see in the world that we ignite the purpose for true change.
True change comes through us living the love we are and that might not look at all like we imagined when we didn’t live that way. It is very practical and worldly and does not involve any activism, drive or emotions.
That is so very true. It is very simple and involves us to do next what there is to do next, again and again.
Love all that is. Hate all that isn’t. But what of the stuff in-between I hear the masses ask? Well, see that it doesn’t exist.
Very true, it either is or it is not!
A deeply inspiring read Nicole – your raw honesty is appreciated. I can relate to every word written in this blog and have recently been pondering upon the same question with regards to holding back and not living all that I am (we all are) in truth, every moment of the day. The consistency is building.
I have realized the same:
‘giving myself a hard time, beating myself up, only kept me in the momentum of that choice – a choice I was trying to move away from.’ It is just another game of the spirit keeping you in the same loop and protecting its investment: individuality.
Me, my and I, the spirit can’t get enough of them. Oh to wallow in self pity, self regret or to indulge in a good old session of self flagellation is pure heaven for the spirit. Basically as long as it’s rolling around in some kind of self generated emotion then it’s happy. Whereas the soul has nothing whatsoever to do with any kind of emotion, basically our soul simply doesn’t feel emotion ever. The things that our soul does feel are way way beyond the utter claptrap of emotion.
This feels so important to remember; ‘There is always more to me, to life, to the bigger picture and the purpose. Life is not meant to stop still, it is forever unfolding, deepening and developing.’ I can feel how we can get so comfortable and not want things to change and can react if others make changes. Whereas like you say Nicole we are meant to change and evolve, deepen and develop.
Ahh the discomfort that pretty much all of us feel but choose to not go there and instead numb ourselves from it by any manner that we can. Thank you Nicole for so honestly sharing your experience and by that reflection offering a reminder and inviting the rest of us to also go there.
An awesome realisation that just because life is ‘good’ does not mean that is it real and true, and what immense pain this causes us as we continue to coast along, never really feeling the depth of our glory or immensity of our purpose. Nothing like a Universal Medicine presentation to empower us to re-connect to our responsibility in life, to live and express from the fullness of our wisdom and grace and commit to everything in need of our incredible integrity.
A true life cannot be faked, it comes from living in connection first with ourselves and then with each other and the All we are a part of.
This makes sense Liane and reveals how deeply inter-connected we all are, forever held as one in the body of God.
“living in connection first with ourselves and then with each other and the All we are a part of”
Coming to the realisation that there is so much more to life is amazing but at the same time we can also feel the sadness of not living the life we are here to live. Once we discard the sadness we are then able to embrace true responsibility and purpose. This is where the Universal Medicine presentations, workshops and courses are so supportive in healing, discarding our hurts and inspires us to discard all that gets in the way of us connecting to our grandness.