What is the one thing that we say we do the most of, without actually doing it at all?
Answer: “Love.”
The idea of love is woven through pretty much every aspect of our lives: it’s mentioned in almost every song that we sing and poem that we write, it features in nearly every book that’s ever been written and has centre stage in many of our plays. We use it to advertise everything from chocolates to nappies, it’s written in our cards and on our clothes, we talk about it and we proclaim that we feel it (passionately), but is our use of the word ‘love’ true?
I used to think that I was good at it. I genuinely thought of myself as a very loving person and if I was truly honest, I would say that I had a certain hidden smugness about just how ‘loving’ I thought I was able to be, particularly considering how hard it seemed to be for most other people to express love.
I truly believed that I was good at expressing my loving feelings to others, be that in the cards that I wrote or the words that I spoke. I also believed that many of the things that I did were loving, e.g. buying people thoughtful gifts, helping them out, listening to them when they needed support etc. and although I would like to say that I am not totally writing off thirty years of ‘loving acts,’ I, in fact, am. Not only am I writing off every single one of those supposed ‘loving acts’ as having had nothing to do with love whatsoever, but I am clearly stating that my feigned ‘loving acts’ contributed to the web of lies that we have spun and continue to spin around the subject of love.
At the time when I considered myself to be my most ‘loving,’ I was also my most self-abusive. I had two major beliefs that conjoined in my body to fuel the relentless motion that I was in: one was that “the more that I managed to do, (particularly as a woman), the stronger I was,” and the other was that “our self-worth is measured by the number of ‘selfless loving acts’ we do for others.”
Fuelled by these two major beliefs, I pushed my body relentlessly through my days (and nights). I worked full time as a disability support worker, doing forty hours of night-shifts a week, I taught yoga during the day and managed to squeeze in a couple of hours of voluntary work at the local hospice. On top of all of that I would volunteer to babysit for friends and family, so that they could go out and have quality time with their partners. Oh, and I should also add that I had a partner and a son of my own, both of whom I thought that I was in loving relationships with.
Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.
The body that I hauled around with me to do my ‘loving’ deeds was totally bankrupt, but the real problem with the way I felt was that it just felt so normal to me that it never entered my mind that there could possibly be another way to feel.
Love is naturally within us all: it is literally the energetic building blocks from which we are all made and yet I was completely unable to feel even so much as a skerrick of the stuff within myself, because I abused my body from the moment I woke up to the moment that I collapsed into bed at night. So a question I ask myself is that if I was unable to feel any love in my body, then where did I think the love that I imagined I was giving others was coming from?
It took my body breaking down in an exhausted heap for me to begin to see that much of what I had held as true was in fact not. I started to see that the way that I was living my life had been propped up by beliefs and now that many of those beliefs were crumbling in front of my eyes, so too was the ramshackle structure of my life. I had no choice but to go back to the drawing board and look at things afresh.
With the guidance and support of Serge Benhayon I started to introduce self-love into my life. Not the reconstituted version of self-love that is touted in magazines and the health industry but its true form, one that is governed by the body and the body alone.
I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t. I asked it if it was self-loving for me to eat salad and my distended belly was my body’s clear response that “no, it wasn’t at all self-loving to eat salad” at that point in time. I asked my body if it was loving to push through my days and not allow myself to sleep when I needed to. The feeling of utter depletion that sat deep within every cell of my body was my body’s clear response that “no, not allowing myself to sleep when I needed to” was completely devoid of love. I asked my body if it was loving to force it to exercise, when all it really wanted to do was to lay down? Once again, my body answered very clearly, this time through its painfully aching muscles, that to have exercised at that time would not have been at all loving.
Little by little I started to cut out choices that did not support my body. At first those self-abusive choices were glaringly obvious ones, like forcing myself to stay awake when my body was desperate to sleep, but what I found is that by staying connected to the honesty of my body, my body constantly revealed to me choices that I was making that were not self-loving, — and what’s interesting is that those choices became more and more refined.
For example, I am now aware that my body really dislikes hearing swear words and so when they play music at the gym that has swearing in it, I will always ask them to change the channel. When I am at work and someone has filled and boiled the kettle in an anxious rush, I will take the time to lovingly refill and boil the kettle before making myself a cup of tea.
Cutting out self-abusive choices is an ongoing process and one that feels like it has no end. With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed. This process is a gradual one and one that repeats until such time as love reveals itself in all its resplendent glory, without so much as a blemish.
You see, love is who we all are, it is the very fabric of our being, it’s just that we do such a good job at covering it up constantly with our non-loving choices that it’s totally obscured from our view. But the fact that we lose sight of it does not mean that it’s not there. In fact, it can never not be there, how can it be?
Love is who we all are.
By Alexis Stewart, a woman who has remembered the truth of who she is and in remembering that, she has remembered the truth of who we all are – the Glorious Collective Consciousness of God.
Related Reading:
How love benefits your health
Building love in our life
Our Relationship with Ourselves is the Start of All Things
Words on Serge Benhayon 
Thank you Alexis, and what we start to understand about Love is how it is a Sacred point that we all can live when we are connected to our Souls.
“I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t.” This is the loving question we should all be learning to ask from a very young age and keep asking through school and the university of life.
What you say Alexis is interesting because until Serge Benhayon came along and reflected a different way to live we just got on with our lives as there was nothing to say it wasn’t normal because everyone was more or less living the same way. Now humanity has been given a choice and it is left up to each and every one of us what to choose.
I had the biggest stop moment reading this today, truly feeling how much of my behaviours have been labeled as love, but it has not been love, and my body has been reflecting that to me. I can see the beliefs about what love is still playing out in how I am with people, particularly in friendships and family relationships where I have accepted an arrangement to do a lot for others and be quite supportive in a self sacrificing way, when it actually comes from a belief that I couldn’t be loved for just being me, and love is what you do for others. It’s all exposed by the body isn’t it and the pressure it places the body under, and the quality of the energy (is it truly love or not), and whether or not we too are included equally in that love.
Recently I have heard myself say, how humanity is there for each of us and people love to respond in a loving way. The truth is the more I express lovingly, and this if felt within them, the more easily they respond back to me/us in a loving way.
‘The body that I hauled around with me to do my ‘loving’ deeds was totally bankrupt.’ The truth in this blog that we can not love another if we do not love ourselves first completely busts through the falsity of what we call love. If our bodies are hard, resentful or exhausted then what quality are we doing our deeds in?
You make a great observation michelle819 if our bodies are hard and resentful and we are going about our day in this energy then everything we do, say, touch, the words we speak are all flavoured with the resentment we are in. And this can be felt by everyone as much as we like to think we do not affect our surroundings by the energy we are in we do.
“We lose sight of it does not mean that it’s not there” Everytime I reconnect to it, it is there without fail. It’s the avoiding the ‘oops, I made a mistake and left myself, the love that I am’ that makes it seem harder than it actually is. Letting go of indentifying with the part that avoids admitting it’s mistakes is therefore a worthwhile focus.
Does our spirit run us ragged and in doing so create openings or holes for it to wriggle in and out of, so life seems to be loving but in fact “that it just felt so normal to me that it never entered my mind that there could possibly be another way to feel.”
Starting with the gentleness of our body and breath is a great foundation that has no holes and starts us to heal the holy-spirit and it’s controlling ways, and it’s contriving to open as many holes as possible.
“With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed.” This is the essence, we are already love, and when we stop ‘trying’ we return to who we already are.
We say we want love but then we choose everything that isn’t love…..so really we need to be honest about why we choose everything that isn’t love so that we can break that down and get back to wanting nothing but love.
“Not the reconstituted version of self-love that is touted in magazines and the health industry but its true form, one that is governed by the body and the body alone.” We are a tricky lot as human beings, we seem to have so many false version of things, love, wellbeing, truth, freedom of speech, etc, so it’s such a gift to have a body that reflects the truth of things so clearly, until we can become more discerning ourselves of the energy behind everything.
We have been sold such lies when it comes to the word ‘love’ and it is to keep us from the true meaning of the word love. I’m waking up to the fact that we have been lied to on such a scale that we are totally blind to our surroundings. We have accepted less when we are so much more.
When we are open to seeing it we come to accept that life as we know it is completely false in every facet of society. If we are not ready to go there it is simply not possible to realise the stench of corrupted truth. We have to build a level of self love and awareness before we begin to contemplate not just how much we have been fooled but how much we have contributed to keeping the wheel of creation turning.
It is easy to say the words, like love, but are we truly deeply living this? Something for us all to ponder on. Great blog.
“Love is who we all are.” So simple. So true. And babies magnetically pull everyone to them, on the whole. No trying, no doing, just being who they are.
“… cutting out self abuse is an ongoing process……” I feel that way too. Once I eliminated the obvious self-abusive choices the subtler ones became more apparent.
My understanding of love was based, years ago, on the fact of need… which at the time I didn’t realise was need at all.
Yes I can relate to this. The mutual need of both parties expressing itself as love was in fact very conditional, so wasn’t truly love at all.
Alexis I would agree with you when you say “Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.”
This is something that I have been working on and didn’t really understand until I started to love myself then I could understand just how abusive I had been towards myself and others. It’s another one of those lies that we are all caught up in which needs to be unpicked to expose the truth behind the lie.
“our self-worth is measured by the number of ‘selfless loving acts’ we do for others.” – I’m glad we busted this myth or lie – any woman that lives to this (as many of us have) is soon to discover the disservice she is doing to herself and all those around her. True self worth never comes from things we do for others, it is a valuing of ourselves and who we are well before we do anything at all in the day, well before we even open our eyes and move in the morning. Connection to who we are deep within gets rid of the whole self worth issue and opens up the self adoration and love which can then be developed and deepened.
“Connection to who we are deep within gets rid of the whole self-worth issue.” As a society we therefore must have very little true connection with ourselves, as low self esteem is rife.
I love what you’re sharing here about our true self worth being there at the dawn of the day, well before we do anything, and that our self worth is simply in being ourselves. Adding to the topic about doing for others I’ve noticed when I go into that I’m looking for the ‘feel good’ moment or the recognition (even from myself) that I’m a “good person” – prior to that I must be feeling much less, as in, not being myself. I suppose someone reading this would say, ‘What’s wrong with that? It is better than feeling awful”, but the truth is we are still not being the love we innately are in those moments. There is so much more to us than vacillating between feeling good or not so good, and breaking these behaviours down opens us up to being the love that we are.
I agree with you Henrietta when you say
‘Connection to who we are deep within gets rid of the whole self worth issue and opens up the self adoration and love which can then be developed and deepened.’
This agreement comes from personal experience of reconnecting to my inner self and discovering there is no such thing as self worth issues, I fell for the lie that we have self worth issues when in fact when we reconnect to ourselves these so called ‘issues’ just dissolve as the lie cannot be sustained in our bodies when we reconnect back to the truth of who we truly are.
What I have learnt is that love is very simple. If it becomes a riddle, then it is not it. If ‘love’ doesn’t feel loving, then it is not it.
It’s true Fumiyo, if something is complicated it’s not love, love and simplicity go hand in hand.
” I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t.” It’s interesting that I had never thought to ask this of myself until I came to Universal Medicine. Our body gives us such clear signals – if we listen. There are no oughts or shoulds, just an honouring of our body’s messages. Simple really. What feels loving – and what doesn’t?
When we make it about words and not quality we end up with a society that can talk at a different frequency than that which they live.
‘I used to think that I was good at it. I genuinely thought of myself as a very loving person…’ I used to think about the same of myself, Alexis until I realised so much of the love I thought I was expressing was based on my own needs and wants and not love in its true sense at all.
My body knows what’s love more than any words or thoughts can create or suggest.
I recall those cartoons from the 70’s of ‘what is love?’ and pictures of a boy giving a girl a flower, or wiping her tears when they were crying, or the girl giving the boy chocolate. As cute as they were and as caring as they appeared in the pictures, I know that this is not love, for to me love is not an act or a gesture, but is rather a true state of being, a space that we allow and a connection deep within.
Great comment Henrietta, “to me love is not an act or a gesture, but is rather a true state of being, a space that we allow and a connection deep within.”. What you have shared here doesn’t involve another person, just you connected to your being, which you can then share with others if you want, but the source of love is within.
When we hold a bastardised meaning of a word and think this is real, then it makes it harder for us to know the real meaning and above all living the true meaning of the word. In our world there are many words that are actually beautiful and they have been bastardised to a point where they no longer represent what they originally were representing, and so en masse we lose so much. It is only in resurrection of these words through the way that we live, that allows us to return them to their true use and meaning. Love is one of those words, but there are many more.
Love and God are the two most corrupted words to me Henrietta and I feel these words have been corrupted on purpose so that we do not easily reconnect back to the true meaning of the words. We live in the body of God which is our universe and the space in the universe is God’s love, when we reconnect back to the love or space that is God we are at one with him and from my own experience I can say I feel held by the space that is God and it feels quite exquisite as I do not feel alone anymore but feel part of something – the vastness and intelligence that is the space around us.
If there is no love and we do not care for ourselves we will never really know what love is. We have to know what self love is before we will ever know what love is
When younger I was instinctively very capable in offering massage to friends and family. At some point I became convinced I needed formal qualification, but when I applied the taught techniques it felt all wrong, so I started thinking I need more courses and more techniques. Many years later I realised how important it would have been to stop looking outside for justification or confirmation and instead to reconnect to myself once again.
It makes absolute sense that the more we look outside of us for love, the further we get from knowing and feeling that we are full of what we are seeking already.
Being a martyr is the greatest illusion there is of love.
So true Jonathan, yet it is condoned and even championed in society today. And if you don’t do your duty (as society demands ) you are condemned for being selfish.
Yes, and the martyr consciousness has been delivered very precisely in all it’s lovelessness by man-made (or mind-made) religion.
Many of us have no true understanding of what love is it seems to be another one of those words that have been completely barstardised to mean anything but. Too be honest it was not until I came across Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine that I at last understood that if we do not love ourselves first we cannot truly love another and there will be no love in anything we do or say. It is because most of us have suppressed love that is naturally within our bodies that we are able to abuse ourselves and others.
Our main problems, issues and hang ups with life all start when we deny our own love.
If we are choosing to abuse our bodies then it will be hard to feel love. But the huge thing for me is the realization that love is who we are always, and the abuse is what we call in to be less.
So very, very true HM. Living life with and expressing that understanding then life becomes far more flowing.
My knowing of true love as a little child and the love I was met with and taught about in the world were quite different. This re-interpretation of love is a shame as it allows us to stay separate from actually finding love inside us and between each other.
It is a great exercise to investigate your relationship with a certain topic, break it down, see what ideals/pictures/belief systems it is made up of, see what actually feels true to you (or not), then rebuild it based on what does feel true to you.
It’s an unpleasant and confronting reality that no matter what we like to think, if our connection is not there in how we move, the Love won’t be there too.
I can relate to this blog very much for I too thought I was being loving, but in fact my choices were self abusive, therefore there was no love in anything I did! But slowly I have learned to make better choices, choices that truly support my body. I now listen to my body and all its communications.
WE may lose sight of love for a while, but the grandness of love will always bring us gently back in good time.
This blog is a joy to re-visit Alexis. I love the re-claiming of your true power and authority encompassing all equally so.
‘By Alexis Stewart, a woman who has remembered the truth of who she is and in remembering that, she has remembered the truth of who we all are – the Glorious Collective Consciousness of God’.
A practical and powerful reflection Alexis – a great reminder to consistently bring more loving choices to the smallest of details daily reveals the love within.
“Cutting out self-abusive choices is an ongoing process and one that feels like it has no end. With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed. This process is a gradual one and one that repeats until such time as love reveals itself in all its resplendent glory, without so much as a blemish”.
Knowing what love truly is, allows us the opportunity to make our life and all of our choices from that love.
When I began to consciously move and do things with a gentle quality was the beginning of being able to catch abusive movements, choices and thoughts.
It sounds so simple – and it is… but I know how often I revert back to unconscious movements that are often hard and disconnected.
I know Vanessa, but what a great marker that gentleness has built in our bodies – to be able to highlight when we have moved into hard or clumsy movements, so that we can bring ourselves back.
Love really is the most foundational aspect of us. So much so, that we go looking for it, not realising it is right under our nose.
And, doesn’t that show how much our mind is leading, and how disconnected the mind is to the whole body and the innermost heart, which is where all the love is.
I agree johannebrown and Melinda Knights, our minds lead us a merry dance all the while away from our innermost as it knows that should we reconnect to this innermost part of ourselves it has no where to go but be reabsorbed back into the soul which it originally separated from to live in the disconnection and in the disconnection create a way of living which is the complete opposite to what it separated from.
Your opening question is great: we might think we’re being so loving towards others in many ways, but when we actually look at it, the underlying motivation is so often need or security based- wanting someone to like or approve of us, doing things because that’s how we’ve always done them, wanting to maintain the status quo and not rock the boat.. it’s a long list of how this plays out and very different to the simplicity and ease of just being love ourselves, first.
It also exposes how often we think we are being loving, when we are actually there for ourselves with an agenda to be liked or recognised, etc. No criticism or berating intended, yet it’s so important for us all to see and nominate clearly these energies which do not belong to the love we are.
Love is perhaps the word that has more images associated with it. As a result, there are lots of scripts to adhere to. When we adhere to them, this is what love becomes for us. The problem, of course, is that none of those ready to wear scripts may be true.
These beliefs mentioned in the blog are similar to “that which doesn’t kill you makes you all the tougher”. The question is “what is the benefit of toughness, except in very limited circumstances”?
Yes, similar to what I heard as a young girl from a parent – “ it didn’t do me any harm”. How unloving is that, yet was well meant in that both I and my brother were treated equally. No account of our individual sensitivities…….
I find it totally amazing that we can go back to the drawing board and start again so to speak, no matter how small (or large) the realisation of what’s not working or what is not true – from a belief to a whole mesh of interwoven beliefs and hurts. Truth is always there to connect to, and what we do with that is our own path back to living it.
I’ve come to realise that it is possible to live and do things out of a need for recognition. I was very much in drive and on a mission to be nice but at the sacrifice of my own body – so I really relate to this experience and the hidden evil that is in being nice.
When we hold back on love it dulls down the vitality in our body – expressing the love that we are is freeing and expansive.
It’s like trying to drive forwards with the handbrake on, it’s hard going and not exactly an enjoyable ride. Release the handbrake and off you go!
“I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t.” How amazing it is, that our bodies can actually give us the answers to we need if we will only listen. It would really save us so much time and angst and would do away with any tussling with our mind about ‘what we should do’, as ultiamtely all the answers lie within us.
Sandra I can so relate to what you are sharing listening to our minds instead of what our bodies are trying to tell us. Great example is I hated the taste of alcohol which was my bodies way of saying no thank you I do not want that foul tasting liquid anywhere near me. Instead I listened to my mind which was telling me I wanted to fit in with my friends and not be the odd one out, so I mixed a sugary drink with the alcohol to disguise the taste and drank it. Which was a double hit for my body that didn’t want the sugar or the alcohol. When we listen to our bodies we discover that it has an intelligence that far surpass what our minds will ever know.
Gauging our level of love by what we do and not by what we feel in our body is completely exhausting as the source of that love is limited while when we express love from our Soul, our essence, the source is limitless and we are enriched.
Yes, we receive what we give out – simultaneously and we can expand what we give out as there is an unlimited amount – of love.
I have read that love and questions around love are one of the most searched terms on google. It’s crazy that we have to ask Google about something we naturally are. This searching says two things to me. One is that the knowing part of us does not accept that what is presented as love is the real deal. Secondly it shows how effective the pollution of the meaning of love has been.
I used to think that love was emotional and an outpouring of emotional expression. I have now come to understand that this was a need from myself. A need for someone else to fill an emptiness within me. I am feeling more and more that love is quality held in the body that does not have an ounce of need in it. It stems from a stillness like the enormous stillness felt in the night sky and that it is more of a beholding and warmth.
To truly love we need to undo all those things we’ve taken on that obscure it and that starts with being honest and listening to our bodies.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.” So true. But what an enormous illusion so many live in, believing what is our more accepted version of ‘love’ is purely an emotional reaction that has no truth in it at all.
The fact is everything in this world revolves around our relationship with true love. As you have brilliantly presented Alexis, it is the quality of our innate beingness, and our bodies always reflect the degree of love we are willing to live. It is with absolute honesty that we come to realise and feel for ourselves the truth about love and how abusive it is when we dishonour ourselves through our disconnection to our ever-present love within. It is in deepening our connection to the love we are that we re-establish a relationship with true love, a foundation and a knowing that love is who we all are in essence, from which all other relationships are then honoured in the same loving quality.
‘…it is literally the energetic building blocks from which we are all made and yet I was completely unable to feel even so much as a skerrick of the stuff within myself, because I abused my body from the moment I woke up to the moment that I collapsed into bed at night. ‘ Any time I’m not feeling the fact that I am love I need to look at any abuse I’m piling on top of myself to not feel and live this fact.
“I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t.” What a great way to engage with the body and offer it the respect it deserves.
Yes and how simple is this…anyone can do it anytime.
“What is the one thing that we say we do the most of, without actually doing it at all? Asnwer: Love” this statement in itself is exposing and worth pondering on as he word love is used far and wide. We claim to love many things, actions and people but if we do not hold the love that we are within ourselves what is it t we are actually expressing with this word? Has the word love substituted and been degraded to mean “like’. ‘want’ ‘crave’ and ‘need’?
And if we dare to admit that that is what we use the word love for we get to clearly see the bastardisation of this word for the want, need, like, crave etc are all an expression of the emptiness we feel inside due to our disconnection to the love we are whereas the true expression of the word love could only come from a connection to this love we hold within.
Love is also space: space to feel what’s true and what’s not, space to behold ourselves and others, space to feel, listen and respond to the intricate details of our body’s communication to us about all of the above.
love is who we all are, it is the very fabric of our being,… And it is actually surrounding us at all times indeed it is the fabric of the universe
One of the most stunning presentations that Serge Benhayon gives, is when he talks about self-love. And because he does so with such ease as he moves his body, it is clear to see that here is a man who dearly loves himself, and with this same love he dearly loves everyone else too. And this love is not selfish or indulgent in any way, it does not exclude anyone or hold anyone as higher – including himself. It is a love in which I know who I am and am deeply, deeply appreciative for. The love that Serge Benhayon expresses is not like anything else, but is so incredible, in how equal it is to include himself just as much as anyone else.
“love is who we all are, it is the very fabric of our being, it’s just that we do such a good job at covering it up constantly with our non-loving choices…” Yes, once you start becoming aware of yourself, your body, choices, self-regard, self-care and self-loving… what, once upon a time we considered to be love either is taken to a deeper expression or let go of completely.
It is incredible how much these simply little changes can make such a difference to our day. Like boiling the kettle gently and not in anxiety or choosing music that is loving instead of abusive does make a difference on how we feel. These are great tools for us all to explore and then we might realise how super sensitive we actually all are.
It’s shocking to realise how empty our life has been, but beautiful, inspiring, and amazing to feel what is possible when we honour our body and it’s senses.
I spent a lot of my life in my head because I did not want to feel the hurts I was harbouring in my body. Bringing love back into the body has been a turning point in my life, thanks to the ongoing support of Universal Medicine. To be in relationship with my body informs, guides and gives moment to moment feedback on what I am truly feeling…what greater ally can one have?
“So a question I ask myself is that if I was unable to feel any love in my body, then where did I think the love that I imagined I was giving others was coming from?” A great question indeed as it really does ask us, what true love really is.
What an amazing vehicle we live in which can be consulted as you did to for example let you know ‘eating salad’ at that point in time was not supportive for you, and pushing yourself to get something done without your body being up to it in that moment was not okay. Also how marvelous that with “with the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed”, because this means the more we consult, listen to and honour our body, the greater level of insight it can offer us. This means the depth of wisdom and awareness we can access by simply working in this way with our own body is endless.
That’s the big trick of doing ‘good’ and making feel-good choices, we can tell ourselves we are being loving, but at the same time we can be completely self neglectful or self abusive, so no love is truly present. It’s a huge topic to explore and not particularly a comfortable one so thank you Alexis for your honesty. It’s bringing the topic of love back to energetic integrity, and to the responsibility to live the quality of love for ourselves first so we have a body that is emanating what love is as a quality, not as a tick box exercise of doing things.
I would agree Alexis that what we have accepted to be love is so full of compromise it is not love at all. It is a big ouch to admit that our motives were comfort & security rather than love but the reward of real love is so stupendous it is truly worth it.
Janet I agree with what you are saying that we are naturally made of love; love is the essence of our every particle, looking around at the way we live in our society we would hardly believe this. So my question has to be
“Where have we gone so wrong that for many of us we cannot feel the love that we naturally are”?
What I’m starting to see more and more clearly is that love is based on truth: there cannot be one without the other. And that it starts with honesty. If I’m not being honest with how my body feels then I don’t have a solid foundation upon which to build and make decisions from. I used to think I was super indecisive but looking back at it I was so disconnected from my body’s feelings that I couldn’t feel what was and what wasn’t true, what truly supported and what didn’t.. The more we get to know our bodies by listening intently and actually honouring what they’re telling us, operating within our body’s limits and not our self imposed or invented ones, the truer and more loving and real we are with ourselves, and so with all others.
Writing lovely cards and saying lovely words is not love. Love can be expressed that way but those things in themselves are not love. Love is a presence and can be felt even when we do nothing at all.
I totally agree Elizabeth, its there or its not there, it needs no effort – it just is. Yet it requires a deeply loving way of living by the person who is allowing themselves to be love.
I recall a stop moment about my relationship with the concept of ‘love’ in the first Universal Medicine workshop I attended. True to how Serge Benhayon presents we were not asked to take on an idea or a belief but were offered exercises to support us to observe and deepen our understanding through our own experience.
In that moment I understood how what I had all my life thought was the pinnacle of ‘good’, the giving of love to another actually felt so patronizing and belittling, and how someone being in their fullness and relating to me in that same honouring and as that same light supported me to ignite myself, from within, in an instance beyond my expectation. ….. a pivotal moment when awareness of love started to deepen.
Measuring our self worth by what we do rather than being who we truly only leads to a life of not feeling good enough and exhaustion.
“At the time when I considered myself to be my most ‘loving,’ I was also my most self-abusive.” Fascinating how we can be so confused between what true ‘self-love’ is and self abuse. But once we understand and feel the real difference for ourselves, it becomes crystal clear that there can be no confusion, as the impact of either one is immediate on our body.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.” An honest statement of the fact of true love that we are all made of and part of in every cell in our body, that we simply hide and fight it and do not accept who we really are even though it is what we miss most in ourselves, not expressing it in our every movement. A beautiful reminder of who we all are and the real truth of what is going on.
I agree that one of the biggest myths and lies that we are sold and fall for from very young is that love turns up one day out of the blue and then your life is happily ever after from then on. What we don’t realise is that true love actually comes from within us and there is a process of development and unfolding of that love that we can commit to in our daily lives which activates and expands love to be in our lives.
Like a precious jewel that lays covered in dust for years, we only have to remove and wipe away the dust to reveal the shinning treasure underneath, that we are.
How can love ignore self and be selfless? When we ignore our needs how would we know others’ needs and really respect it? With our care and attention to ourselves first, the need to look at ourselves only slowly disappears as that would be already natural. I’m on the way to find out.
I appreciate how practical you make it Alexis. Sometimes we seek after Love like an etheral end goal when it is as you say as simple as cutting out the things we know are not right. Like a surgeon with a gentle knife.
Agreed Joseph we build love to an ever-deepening sense, there is no time when we reach the end – step by step there is more love until we wake up with so much love we have to be willing to go beyond the love.
“love is who we all are, it is the very fabric of our being,…” What a beautiful statement, and yes, Love is in every cell of our being, that we do know what is and what is not love… instantly. Its only the layers of distraction and disconnection repeated in behaviours and beliefs that is what drives the wedge between the union of the Body and its Soul.
Every person on the entire planet is on a different path back to love. We can never compare ourselves but the teacher is always within us.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.” That is such a striking statement Alexis and should stop us all in our tracks and give us pause for thought and consideration of the way we are living our lives.
Absolute true Rosemary, and worth remembering: “Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.
When we track back loving acts to its quality of intention it’s surprising to realise how many of them aren’t actually that loving at all. Ouch.
Love is who we are, love transcends us back to the super humanness that is our divine nature.
‘Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.’ This is very sobering to really feel but also very lovely to connect with as it brings us to what is true love in the world and the quality in which we do things to a lived experience – so not just empty words.
‘Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.’ And that starts with us making loving choices for our bodies first and then what occurs around us like what you write the swearing or the rushed cattle example to address it or reimprint it. I have become aware of this latter fact: that what happens in and around me, ‘in my space’ so to say, I have a responsibility to reflect love by choosing it for my body and then express it – without imposing it, just by living it.
‘When I am at work and someone has filled and boiled the kettle in an anxious rush, I will take the time to lovingly refill and boil the kettle before making myself a cup of tea.’ The level of refinement here is reclaiming the preciousness we are whatever our environment. Very inspiring and something I can relate to at work where there can be a possessiveness around the boiled water whilst the Zip Tap is broken that supplies hot water on tap. I have found myself walking to another floor to where it is working to stretch my legs and pour water gently. I love the level of care I can bring to myself.
Thanks to Serge Benhayon coming into our lives and asking simple questions about what we uphold as our values in life, we have arisen to the understanding that what we thought was love is actually so very far away from true love. We are taught that the act of ‘love’ is what you can do for another unselfishly, putting others before the needs of ourselves. I have discovered this is actually very abusive because by dismissing ourselves we are saying we are not worth loving when in actually fact every particle in our bodies come from a body of pure love which is God.
Without love in all our movements, none of our expressions or actions towards others are loving.
It does seem a bit sad that everything we talk about that we want to share with another comes down to love, and yet we don’t actually live that love that we naturally all are. Yet it shows the importance of having people like Serge who speak the truth to inspire us to be all that we are and change this.
Your claiming of self love is also asking others to claim love for themselves too. Such as the case with asking the music to be changed if it has swear words in it. Each body speaks for every other body.
Yes, in a world where there aren’t many people honouring the love they are, being such a role model gives all those who see this standard the permission to be this way with oneself.
This is so true, Alexis – ‘the fact that we lose sight of it does not mean that it’s not there’. As we clear the debris of our past choices and hurts, we soon re-discover the love we naturally are, because it is what we are made of.
Janet that was my experience, I lost sight of the love, it was nowhere to be seen and then I reconnected to it and it was clear it was always there, I was just choosing anything but that connection to my love.
It is constant surprise that the love that we naturally are, is always there waiting to be reconnected with beneath all the false ways of being and living.
It’s amazing that we all know that love is missing from the world yet it’s the one thing no one really works on to change – we work on our jobs, our careers, our families but what if we also worked on changing the quality of the world we lived in?
Agreed Meg, but thats why we have such a rise in food, distractions and multiple levels of entertainment. I used to resist love like anything, saying I wanted love but barking up a number of wrong trees. It’s true if we worked on the quality of the world of us then life would be a very different place.
The word Love is so bastardised that already going once a week into a SPA means for many that they have a loving relationship to their body. It is a start to care more for your body but does not end here. To change the relationship in depth means to deepen in every moment of the day to care more for your body- not only in pop up moments.
‘Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.’ Now that brings self-care and nurturing onto the priority list. How ever good we can make things look, if we are living in unloved bodies everything is tainted with that.
We talk about love so much because we miss it. We want to relive this feeling in our body. But we also want to keep the ideals and beliefs that do not allow us to know love. We create conflict. And the majority of people will think it’s the way to be because everyone is doing it. But the topic of love also shows us that some of us do really want to know. And we will not give up in finding it.
Why do we only pay some attention to ourselves when our body is in an ‘exhausted heap’? Why not set our standards much higher than this, and a day where we don’t feel full of life and vital is a day where we look at what’s going on?
Judging on output and function, we might indeed be doing well in the eyes of the world and our own; after all, we see what we need to see and what we tell our eyes to see. But the body uses a different sensorium, more finely tuned and utterly honest – do we listen though?
The ‘reconstituted’ version of self-love (excellent choice of words, by the way) leads people further astray, right into the abyss of emotionality with its disappointments, hurt feelings and resentment.
I too thought I understood what true love was until I heard Serge Benhayon present the truth of true love. The fact is we have all been spun such stories about love, but we all believed them and went along with what we had been told, even though we may have felt to our bones that they were not true.
“Cutting out self-abusive choices is an ongoing process and one that feels like it has no end. ” – It is fascinating/shocking to realize how much we have bought into abuse when we start eliminating it layer by layer, detail by detail and while doing so we discover greater depths of love and care we could not imagine as long as abuse had a grip on us.
It is also interesting how the awareness shifts more and more, when you let go of layers of abuse. A behaviour you once never regarded as abuse is now sticking out as totally abusive. Part of the realisation is also for me that the moment I act out an abusive behaviour to someone a much grander and multiplied abuse goes against me and my essence first.
And that is the deviousness about some of our dodgy choices, they may look good on the outside but are a little bit rotten on the inside.
“So a question I ask myself is that if I was unable to feel any love in my body, then where did I think the love that I imagined I was giving others was coming from?” What a cracker of a question – looks like you found a pretty good answer as well. Build a honest connection and relationship to your body and see what unfolds from there…and live the love that we are.
When disaster strikes brotherhood comes out in force with offers of help and aid. A great sense of community is engendered. What happens when the crisis is over? Do communities still have that linking – that bonding? Sometimes I would suggest, but many will return to their old more isolated way of living.
“You see, love is who we all are, it is the very fabric of our being, it’s just that we do such a good job at covering it up constantly with our non-loving choices that it’s totally obscured from our view. ” So true Alexis. We live in such a functional way. and educate our children to do the same. Where is the love we all are in society today? Not around very much at the moment it would seem.
‘At the time when I considered myself to be my most ‘loving,’ I was also my most self-abusive.“the more that I managed to do, (particularly as a woman), the stronger I was,” and the other was that “our self-worth is measured by the number of ‘selfless loving acts’ we do for others.” No wonder, we as women then lie as an exhausted heap on the floor, feel burnt out and disgruntled with life… we absolutely bankrupt ourselves! Knowing there is another way to live that is far more honouring, nurturing and true is a game changer not just for ourselves but also for others.
It is so self loving to pick up on all the little things we have tolerated in the past, which are abusive to the body, especially those tiny things I used to think I could let pass by, because they didn’t have an effect, but of course they did. The world is full of insults and our movements, thoughts and actions do not have to align with the way the world is. The more we can catch these things and say no to them, the more loving we are being to ourselves.
“Love is who we are” – if we really took this on board we would never again feel less than magnificent.
This sentence alone is such an indictment of the way as a society most of us are living : “Love is naturally within us all: it is literally the energetic building blocks from which we are all made and yet I was completely unable to feel even so much as a skerrick of the stuff within myself, because I abused my body from the moment I woke up to the moment that I collapsed into bed at night.”
Not surprising that we have hundreds of false interpretation of what love is, otherwise we would be left with the devastation of the extent of love-less-ness we are actually living.
True commitment in life comes first from the self-loving choices we make in each moment in our day. It’s not about how much or little we do but our willingness to commit to the love within ourselves.
Is love something that we do? Does it make us look good, feel like the right thing to do, what we have been taught, or seen / read in countless stories promoted to us through our lives.
But what does it actually feel like? The simple, everyday, deep, deep love that is found in every particle of our beings, but with which I don’t have that really solid relationship. That is the true gold, found in our bodies, and when we do it can’t help but come out.
Another day passes, another begins but no matter what situation we get ourselves in, nothing more is needed than us living Love. It’s so so simple.
Just because we can live without Love doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Pretty soon the poison from denying who we are adds up.
Re-connecting to the deep love we all are is an unfolding and this is its beauty. We never arrive only continue to un-peel layers of obstructive patterns that get in the way of us fully embodying the fullness that love is.
It makes sense resting when the body is tired and yet not many honour this. It’s like there is a normalized way of being that have allowed the dishonesty and avoidance at any cost of feeling. With that we have lost the most basics standards of self-care and self-love. Wherever we look at there is a new invention to entertain us because we have been told that we are not enough, that being with ourselves doesn’t matter, that this is a hard and boring task. When I see how many people is actually feeling – not really happy – I can understand why. We have lost the most natural way of simply being the preciousness we all are. Once we arrived to this world, we were very joyful, open, confident, super loving, all knowing, truthful…looking at what happened in that period in which we disconnected to all this qualities and receiving Sacred Esoteric Healing sessions is a very supportive way to re-claim back our true power as human beings. Being honest with ourselves and the choices we make could be a great start…
It’s interesting how the word love have been used in the wrong way, always as something to give and receive from outside, like a part of an arrangment from which we feel safe and comfortable but demands us to push through and compromise. Obviously is none of that. The way Serge Benhayon is presenting about how to make self-loving choices makes so much sense. When we care ourselves we develop self-worth and build a totally different way of being with ourselves and others. We can feel from within in a very tangible way the benefits of simply being honest, responsible for the choices we make and deeply caring with the precious body that we carry 24/7 days a week. This feels to me what true love is about.
Very inspiring the way you are lovingly coming back to ask, listen and feel your body Alexis. Thank you
Without love in our bodies our acts of care are empty of true love. That is why self love and self care is such a priority.
Yep we need to keep bringing it back to the body … great reminder.
” What is the one thing that we say we do the most of, without actually doing it at all? Answer: “Love.” ”
Such a great question as there is so much emphasis on ‘Love’ in the world, but so few people are actually living the truth of it.
“Love is who we all are.” The joy of reconnecting to the love that we are is to know who you are.
This statement is like a huge truck running over all the ideals and beliefs we have ever held about love – that loveless romantic type of love, masquerading as true love that is only possible with the disconnection from our body and living from our head.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do”.
The fact that the love we all use and claim to be love is not love changes everything when this is recognised and allows us to come to and see its true meaning and from this claim our innermost way of being the love we innately are.
I love how you’ve brought it back to standards, our standard of “love” has vanquished and needs to be lovingly restored by us taking deep care of ourselves and everyone around us rather than living every day functioning and trying to be better than other people and indulging in daily abuse.
We are so used to moderating our life to our liking that the truth can seem at times far fetched, but in fact it has always a very sobering and clearing effect, bringing us back to what truly is, even though we might not quite fathom what it is.
Indeed, we have settled for a vibration that is such a reduced level of love that you can’t call it that any more. It’s good to have that pointed out, to be reminded of the enormity of it and exactly where it can be found.. in every particle, in every moment.
Love this highly practical path back to self love. Love is not some lofty concept but something very tangible and real that we feel within our own bodies. Constantly checking in to notice how we feel and which choices feel loving and which don’t, bring a steadiness and a consistency to our lives, and a depth to our relationships, as those choices get more refined.
I really enjoyed reading this, there was a line that really stood out for me ““the more that I managed to do, (particularly as a woman), the stronger I was,” I didn’t realise this was something I was also subscribing to, but there is a sense of false worth or strength that comes from ticking off a big day, even if the body has been negatively affected from it all. It’s the whole “I conquered it” consciousness, not the “I loved and deeply cared for myself all day” way of life.
A beautiful sharing of love and the fact we are all love and made of love and that in truth love is there within us all, even though we have lost sight of it and allowed abuse in its place to be accepted. Powerful, exposing and inspirational.
The closer we get to Love the more we’ll see that what we thought was it was pure abuse. Being prepared to have your eyes opened is paramount if we wish to heal.
Giving say to our body’s communication is huge. The example of whether eating salad or not and finding not is something that goes against what I’ve heard is healthy. Letting our mind and beliefs override the body’s knowing is not loving, listening to it as a marker of truth is.
Great blog Alexis. How often do we hear the word love now in our day? In the supermarket, the carpark, cafe. It would seem love is everywhere but is it? It has become like the automatic how are you which again is far from the true caring enquiry that it could be. Then there is the dramatic I lLOVE ice cream or I love my coffee. Love has definitely lost its true meaning. Can we bring it back? Yes I feel so and the pointers you give us here in this blog are very supportive to this process. Developing a relationship with our bodies is where we begin to really feel what is happening inside, beginning to express that – even if it is only to ourselves- and become more steady, cutting down on stimulants that take us away from our integrity and beginning to appreciate ourselves without all the props we have been using to buoy us up.
This is a refreshingly honest look at love and all we claim it to be. Truth is we know it inside and out so it’s time we stopped accepting anything less.
Pleasing others is very different to love. As a societal norm we have so many different meanings for love now that the lines are blurred to the truth of the word and the actual activity of it.
Yes, Alexis, no matter how shut down we become, there is always going to be love in our hearts because this is the essence of who we are. Nothing can change this because we come from love and it is what we are made of.
“I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t”
Understanding the strength & support of this partnership is life changing – this is the medicine that will one day be universal.
I feel we have completely lost the true meaning of the word love, and have substituted it so that it can mean anything to anyone, we have individualized it rather than kept the whole that it is.
Alexis, this blog is insightful and deeply inspiring, offering a beautiful exposure of the abusive consciousness that women have been driven with for lifetimes –
“the more that I managed to do, (particularly as a woman), the stronger I was,” and the other was that “our self-worth is measured by the number of ‘selfless loving acts’ we do for others.”
We use the word love for so many things that are not love and thus we have a whole variety of something that we call love but is in fact not love.
The more self love one is prepared to live with, more and more of the choices we have made in life are revealed as not being of the same equal quality. In my experience this is an ongoing deepening experience. One that simply gets more beautiful as one feels the grace that has always been within, just locked away due to the self abuse that we all thought was love.
Our ideas of love and what love actually is are two very different things.
I remember watching an episode of Oprah years back and she was talking about women and in this situation she was likening us to a ATM. We are always handing out money but how often do we put money in the bank. At the time, that made sense to me but I often thought that the money you put into the bank – so to speak – was like having a massage, or having a quiet glass of wine and some cheese, watching my favourite movie, going for a walk in nature etc… Through Universal Medicine I have also become to realise that it is actually about living the love that is naturally inside of us, that it is nothing to do/get, just be the love we are. But we need some honesty here because we have put up a lot of blocks (ideals/beliefs etc…) that stop us from living that love and we need to, like you have here, unpack these blocks and let them go.
Alexis I feel you have offered the ingredient to counter exhaustion – living in a body that makes self loving choices.
And the more loving choices are lived the more the unloving ones stick out and simply can be accepted anymore.
The more we listen to our body, the louder its voice becomes. Things that were acceptable yesterday might not be acceptable tomorrow. It needs a constant adjustment as love shows its way through our body.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.” Especially when we use the word “NO” as it justifies our position. Then what a toddler is already feeling is that the person saying no usually has done the same thing and are simply saying “NO” and to add to this level of confusion for a young toddler they hear the word “NO” four hundred times a day that is 400 each day. Is it possible to drop the word “NO” and replace it with ‘what-did-that-feel-like’ and start to communicate through true expression with each other? Then we can bring in Loving Boundaries that have a true feeling behind them that then relates to the toddlers and not a two lettered word star ting with ”N”!! That is dropping the use of over three hundred thousand 300,000 “N” words at-least by the time a toddler is three 3!!!!!
There are so many versions of one thing – family love, sexual love, friendship love etc etc – there is heart break and loyalty and jealousy and possessiveness and hate, all said to come from love, but how can something that is meant to be one of the highest qualities of being human, lead to behaviours that are so far away from this standard? Is it that we have lost our true sense and understanding of the word?
It’s a riddle why we don’t use our true superpowers – until you realise the truth of prana and fire. Then when you stop seeing your spirit as bad or evil but just in need of some love, your so much closer to activating real change.
To be love is different from doing love. And it is true love.
I always felt I was never very good at expressing my love but then isn’t that somehow the same to you thinking you were so very good at it. In both instances there is a certain righteousness that makes us the owner or maybe more the determiner of how or whether we love. While the truth is that we are love, so how could we ever make a trade of it.
Either way it keeps us away from truly expressing ourselves, because we express versions of it and not the full volume that we are.
Letting go of old ideals and beliefs about love has been – and still is – an ongoing process of refining and redefining this beautiful but not fully appreciated word LOVE. When we undermine the power of true love by lessening the quality of the word we do the world a great disservice.
Thank you, Alexis, for offering us this honest and beautiful article exposing the false love we have comfortably settled for and sharing your experience of building a relationship with true love.
Doing ‘love’ comes often from feeling that we are not the true love we could be. It is like trying to make it look ok but the fact remains when we don’t love ourselves we can not truly love others.
Yes we certainly do bandy the word Love around without actually considering if it is true or not. Love is an energy that can be felt. We can say ‘I love you’ without an ounce of love. We can offer ‘love’ as a way of showing that we care without having love in our own bodies. It is indeed something we offer without the truth of it. If we do not have any love to begin with we cannot give it away.
We have different versions of what love is, such as, romantic love , emotional need and doing everything for another at the expense of oneself; that we have lost the true meaning and energetic quality of the real thing. Thank heavens for Serge Benhayon who has re-introudcued us to the real thing and what it actually means.
I was connecting with my body yesterday and could feel how it supports me absolutely unconditionally. Every moment of every day all the cells in my body work relentlessly to bring me back to harmony, despite every unself-loving choice I make. It is my constant companion that loves me without question. What was beautiful to feel was and is the joy that bubbles up when I do pay attention to it and take the time to listen to it’s advice and needs.
“I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t.” I love that we can actually have a converstation with our body and it will give us a straight answer. The key is whether we choose to listen to those answers or override them instead. But if we listen and then act on it, the payback is ten fold not only for us but for everyone else too.
The version of love we think is real is but a dim shadow of the love that is available once the inner heart has been connected to. Serge Benhayon has taught me much about what love is and offered through that a new way of living that has love front and centre, that is the love within me.
In a way we would be far better off doing or saying something that is obviously not loving rather than doing or saying something unloving and calling it love. At least the former is more honest and does not contribute to the confusion and corruption of the word love.
“I had no choice but to go back to the drawing board and look at things afresh.” A bit of appreciation here. Most would not have made this choice, most would have buried themselves deeper in the cornucopia of distractions offered by creation. With enormous love and respect for you and anyone that makes the choice that you did.
I agree with you Otto, appreciation is what has us expand, otherwise we diminish every step we have taken towards the truth of love.
It sometimes isn’t easy to walk a different way, but what I am feeling more and more is that if we just say yes, then God will do the walking for us.
Yes, that is beautiful what you say here Otto, we think we have to come up with where to go and what to do, but the truth is we don’t, it is only the choice to say yes to walking the truth of us all.
There is a puzzle to life that is only unlocked by us admitting that we don’t live like we think. Making up a false definition to entertain our brain will never replace living true Love in our day. You can’t play scrabble with life and think you will win – it always comes back to the truth within.
We have so many loveless acts, particularly in families which we call love that we have grown to accept what is in fact abuse as love. How much further do we need to go before we will get honest about what is love and what is not.
Even when we just start with the notion that ‘Love is who we all are.’ without yet having a full understanding or experience of it life presents to us in a very different way and what we then get to see, feel, realize puts everything in the right perspective and thus reveals the order and purpose of life.
Great Alex, and maybe to paraphrase, Love will always be a work in progress, for as our Love grows ‘the order and purpose of life’ grows?
The opposite to love being loveless.
Love in every action… our body naturally responds when we move with harmony and love, as it is its true way.
Love is the natural backdrop to Life. All we need to do is to allow ourselves to blend into the backdrop, as opposed to what we currently do, which is to make a constant effort to stand out in relief.
We all love Love, so what is it that we evidently seek more than that which we love?
The temporary reprieve of not having to own up to the fact that we actively chose to walk away from love and as s consequence have created a miserable existence here on Earth.
It is a shame that as a human race we have reduced, reinterpreted and twisted love to mean so many things less than what it fully is because in my opinion this has hardened and hurt many people who have become jaded, cynical, and given up on love because deep down we know that we are selling ourselves short of the love that we know is natural for us all and where we all come from.
This is really interesting Andrew. If you can’t trust love, then what is there left to trust? And/or if trust is built on a foundation of false love, then no wonder everyone is so wobbly.
I really like the way you’ve expanded on this Otto. It’s a perfect setup to keep us all in our individual protective bubbles – twist our understanding of love so we end up being hurt by what we think is love, so then we don’t trust love and protect ourselves from it.
And of course we are going to be hurt by it, because no matter what version of love we are sold, no matter what we buy, no matter what we accept, deep within we do know true love and thus the innate mistrust and tension. When I consider so many of the times that I have felt a powerful, deep and at times very subtle (under all the comfort blankets I have covered it in) unsettlement in me, it can all be traced back to that.
If love is an energy that we can all feel and express (which it is) then it makes complete sense that we cannot truly express love unless we have it in our bodies first which means living love and moving our bodies in love.
Love the way the body has a habit of speaking in a way that we cannot ignore… it carries the residue of how we are living, and while that might be quite sobering, it also means that when we change the way we move with our bodies, it can have a very profound effect.
Great blog Alexis it shows us all the ingrained patterns we have that have become so normal that we do not question what we are doing or how we are behaving towards ourselves and others
I agree Mary, we are all moving against the great volume of love that is, in actual fact, the natural order of Life. Therefore everything that we express is loveless.
I relate to what you have said Doug. Before I I heard and felt the truth from Serge Benhayon about love to me it was as you have described and the emotionally loaded version, my body clearly showing me through health problems that this was not the true way to be.’ Thank God for Serge Benhayon and his family for showing me the truth about love.’ I absolutely agree.
It is crazy how we use the word love to do things that are harmful to our bodies such as saying I love eating cream cakes and drinking coffee. Love is healing and all that is not love is harmful so to use the word love with something that is harmful is a total bastardisation and in itself harmful.
Admitting we have got things wrong is a sign of awareness and an opportunity for truth. Pushing on and persevering in the face of huge evidence is a hallmark of insanity.
Love in action requires a body that is cared for and loving in its movements.
I am constantly finding the gap between what we say is love and what it actually is. Although I know love inside out and remember how pure it felt as a liitle girl, there are a lot of false ideas about love that I can so easily fall back into. These false loves seem to offer me security, comfort, control but the magnificence of pure love is completely absent.
In truth we shouldn’t be referring to any of these things as love.
I love the honesty shared here, how our idea of love is in fact based on abuse often in particular self-abuse, and so it’s for us to come back to our bodies, to honour them and allow the love in us to come out … for we have indeed obscured it with all our ideas of what love is and how we should be with it … time to peel back the layers.
There is very little in this world that has been as instrumental as our misinterpreted idea of love, in keeping us away from the real thing.
Just as on an airplane, we have to fit our own oxygen masks first, we cannot love another until we develop love for ourselves
Beautifull and simple example of how putting ourselves first supports another. If we know this to be true in an emergency why do we not then live this in life generally?
I agree – but it is the same case when it comes to natural disasters. We pull together and support each other, putting aside issues and separations, but as soon as the disaster is over we return to separation
Everything we do in life is actually about or around love, even the most vile acts, harmful emotions and behaviours. Either we seek love, avoid love, are hurt by the lack of love, talk about love, react to it when it comes our way, hold back expressing love or letting it in… or we actually embrace it and make life about maximising us being the love that we essentially are.
So well said Alexander. Because love is, in truth, all that actually exists then it naturally follows that every-thing must in some way relate to love.
Its good to see how it is all about love and with that understanding it helps to interpret why we are the way we are in different situations.
I also thought I was ‘good’ at sharing love and showing love, so how come I felt so dissatisfied when I thought it did not get reciprocated…the truth is Love is not given or taken it is lived in truth. So I am learning that it is nothing to wait for, Love is a way of being to be reflected and lived for everyone equally.
To be robbed of true love is no external act done to us but a very deliberate move we have each made away from our true and godly selves.
Yes at the end of the day we are the ones who need to stop and face our own responsibility for choosing to move “away from our true and godly selves” and the repercussions of that in all aspects of our own life as well as in our world.
The dilution, twisting and even at times changing the meaning of such words as ‘Love’ in our daily use of them, seem to be a great way for us to ignore the clear contrast between our true essence and what we have settled for. It perpetuates a hazy state in which we can remain dishonest about our own responsibility and power.
Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do. So true. So by making other more supportive choices for loveless acts which are abusive to the body, is a reflection of this love. Through that reflection others can be inspired to make similar choices for their bodies – or not. That is up to them. Now that is Love.
How many of us go through life after life without knowing what love actually is, falling for the complete emotional type time and again without exploring and feeling the truth, as is open to us all.
Kev I’m wondering if any of us go through even one single life without knowing what love is. My feeling is that we know exactly what love is in order to be able to keep continually choosing what love isn’t.
We not only have settled for a cheap imitation but reinterpreted it into an emotional form of love, that we get outside of ourselves.
The day when I was honest in acknowledging the love I thought was love was actually anything but love, was the day I surrendered back to humbleness the truth of what love really is. This process is long but deeply valuable and inspiring to open my whole body deeper to all the ideals and beliefs that I have taken to to prevent me to see what love really is, but the commitment to return to this body and its awareness has step by step reinstated the love felt within and then the process of expressing honestly what is felt is another whole process on its own, but one that has deeply touched me, as you have said Alexis, Love is who we all are.
‘I would like to, say that I’m not writing off ’30 years of loving acts’, I in fact am’, this sentence made me stop in my tracks as I reflected on how many loveless acts we do in what we say is love when in fact it is indeed far from love. I love your honesty and willingness not to view your ‘loving acts’ through rose tinted glasses.
True love is very exposing of everything that is not of itself.
“True love is very exposing of everything that is not of itself.” This I encapsulates a fundamental aspect of the essence of love.
Without love in our bodies and actions, all the insight, intelligence and awareness in this world will not return to us to live who we truly are, love. The activity of love returns to us to build an even deeper foundation of love within ourselves.
When we finally start listening to our body, we embark on a new level of loving care and responsibility for ourselves and this can be felt as a reflection for everyone.
When heart disease and now also exhaustion has plagued our society for so long it couldn’t be a more pertinent subject to address. Thanks to Serge Benhayen I am learning the truths of letting love in and letting Love out – as the heart is built to do, and it really is such an innocent beautiful expansive joy to feel this very cautiously caring attentive flow of learning what is loving for me and others as I go about my day. Thank you for bringing us the oppurtunity to comment on unraveling this Riddle.
First we think we are far more loving than we are. Then we find out what love is and how little we live it. Then we have a choice and can move in a more loving way or disregard our new understanding.
Its a very simple process to ask ourselves “is that loving, or is it not?” But its not a standard question we ask ourselves. When we consider that we think love is an emotion, its no surprise that we don’t
I agree it is simple and something that I am finding very supportive to ask myself. It brings clarity when we are honest.
The moment there is any agenda in expressing something it is not love, as love does not know any kind of conditions or manipulations.
The key is to observe our expression, notice when it is not love and understand why it is not love. Then we can express without agenda and with love.
Our spirit loves having an agenda and seems to carry a clipboard around with it constantly, forever ready to bring up an agenda with anyone and everyone. The soul on the other hand only has one thing on it’s agenda and that is to simply be love.
Love is a surrender, which supports our greatest form of love: Observation. Through observation we let people be where they are at and offering through our reflection what is not their true essence. Having no expectations and letting the other come to their truth in their own speed. That is true love.
There is no sneakier way of stripping the power and potency of a word than repeatedly using it out of context to express something completely different to what it actually means. Turning perfectly normal words into swear words is a great example of an extreme case of that. But the subtler changes can be quite devastating too as we can see from this blog’s assessment of the use of the word ‘love’ in our language.
Love isn’t hard because it is who we naturally are, we just have to let go, surrender and be. It is our thoughts that get in the way, our body just knows.
Very true Carmel “It’s our thoughts that get in the way”, especially interesting when we consider that our thoughts aren’t ours at all.
Self-abuse has become a way of life for us for so long that we do not recognise this until we experience or observe something which is truly loving – this then opens our eyes and we have the choice to look further and feel inside all that has laid in wait for us to return or to try to ignore that which becomes so obvious – a bit of a no brainer.
Understanding “Love” and the discipline and boundaries that come with it is simple and a practical way to look at Love and how easily we fall for the illusion of love that is emotionally pulling at our heart strings. Strings that disconnect us from our essence, which is and always will be Love.
More and more I am realizing that it is about letting love out and then the love from others can be received.
Love is…I recall in the 70’s the ‘Love is…” stickers with two round freckle faced children from a cartoon hanging out together and ‘doing’ little acts of love – such as a kiss on the cheek, giving a flower, wiping someones tears, picking someone up when they fall – all very beautiful acts, but in the end it is not the act that is love as has been bastardised by our society, but rather it is a state of being when one does something. When you realise that you are love and you live this, then everything you do holds that love for yourself and the other. This is what love is, nothing less.
Reading your comment Henrietta has brought up a memory of watching Serge Benhayon stroking the top of a small child’s head, whilst he chatted to the parent. I was absolutely mesmerised by the sheer amount of love in his touch, love that was being communicated to the child’s body, with each loving stroke. Now it would be easy for those who didn’t see it, to think that what I have described is a common scene between a parent and their kid but I can share with you that this is potentially the first time that I have ever seen or felt that amount of pure love being transferred between an adult and a child. Touching someone ‘lovingly’ does not guarentee that there will be love in the touch, unless the person who is doing the touching has a bank of love in their body.
Beautifully said Henrietta – when we realise we are love the way we approach everything in life changes, we would never want to do anything that is harmful to ourselves or others, only that which is honouring of the love we are – and what a treasure this Love we are is.
Love is naturally within is all, with no exceptions, even when we do not allow ourselves to feel it!
“I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t.” And the answers can be very surprising, but when followed through, turn up the most unexpected results. What a joy to reclaim the love within our selves so that we can genuinely share it with others.
Rowena, I agree that when we ask our bodies to tell us what’s loving, that the answers can be surprising and also as you say, that when followed through, turn up the most unexpected results. I am learning not to question my body when it tells me that the most loving thing I can do is to clean an area of my house rather than ‘get on with’ something else. Because I have found that having that area clean supports my ‘getting on’ tremendously.
‘At the time when I considered myself to be my most ‘loving,’ I was also my most self-abusive.’ and so the ideals and beliefs which we have adopted can actually lead us into harm when we are under the impression that they are good.
I find it ironic that what we crave most in our lives has been totally twisted and manipulated and what’s more the realisation that I have fallen and played a part in this thinking and believing that love was outside of me. It cannot be further from the truth for all the love I could ever dreamed of lies within me and it is my responsibility to connect and commit to the love inside me.
Even in our wildest dreams we are not able to imagine the amount of love that is available to us.
We all need to get totally honest with how we are with and see love, as you have done here Alexis, We are sold images everywhere you turn of how love is supposed to be and how it is supposed to look when it in truth as you have so beautifully uncovered, most of us are so off track with the true meaning of the what it is that we don’t even know in what direction the track can be found.
Many can ‘honestly’ say that they don´t know what it means to be more loving or caring as we have allowed or chosen to be unaware or so it seems, but actually we just have disconnected from our body and thus the mind is lost in ideas and concepts and the repetitions of its own habits and behaviours. Coming back to one´s body, opening up to feeling, re-activating one´s sensitivity are key to re-awakening one´s awareness and hence knowing of love, truth, care and everything that makes us who we truly are.
As everything is love then it makes sense that the antidote to all of life’s problems is to allow everything to return to its original nature. Love has no problem being love, our problems only arise when we interfere with love. Love when left to be itself, will simply do what love naturally does, which is to be the natural order of the Universe.
WOW I love this! ‘Understanding that I am a vessel for love rather than a man in pursuit of love has made a world of difference to my relationships.’
Once you clear the slate of the obvious ways in which we disregard and override our body then the messages from each thing we do become so much clearer and easier to distinguish.
Yes, this reminds me of the song and expression, ‘love makes the world go around,’ but so few live connected with love that people don’t realise the power of love (another popular expression and song!) in its true sense.
‘if I was unable to feel any love in my body, then where did I think the love that I imagined I was giving others was coming from?’ a very exposing question but very needed!
Living and being the love that we are is an ongoing, never ending journey. What you felt yesterday what love is, is tomorrow already a lie, if you deepen in love continuously.
This means that in love we are constantly evolving, that we are reducing ourselves in stagnation if we rest on our laurels. Deepening in love is what we are here for, not to is countering evolution.
By it’s very nature, love is an ever expanding expansion. So the chronically capped version that we cart around with us, is actively assaulting the truth of love. How incredibly cunning and sinister eh, that true love is being attacked by it’s evil twin right in front of our eyes and not only do we not speak up but we promote it.
Yes Alexis – our misinterpretation of love is thick in every quarter of the globe – it is quite sickening to feel how we teach true love out of our kids in favour of the false.
The fact we think we love when in fact we have spent and age keeping people out for our own protection, asks me to look at my own comfort and how that excuses irresponsibility. In the end, who am I to choose who is let in and who is not, I am coming to understand the selfish nature that is not sharing the love that is there for all equally.
Love.. the more we allow ourselves to feel and express it, it feels like there’s more to keep on feeling and expressing. What perhaps once felt non-existent or emotional, starts to be felt as a deep love and care for ourselves and others that holds us all as equals, as the absolute incredible beings that we are. With that space and grace, we also get to see the behaviours that we put in the way of living that love, and know that they are not an innate part of who we are.
We are here to be grander and grander versions of ourselves, knowing that in truth, there is no such thing as self.
A beautiful honest and revealing sharing on the reality of the world and the loveless ness we live without realising what we are doing with the normality of it all. The reality and sharing that ” With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed. This process is a gradual one and one that repeats until such time as love reveals itself in all its resplendent glory, without so much as a blemish.” is a real testament to true love and our livingness and the lie we all live unwittingly with the openness and sensitivity we all are.
‘Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.’ This pulled me up short today because how can I tell anyone ‘I love you’ when I don’t love myself? What does loving myself mean? It means truly listening to my body, paying attention to its every subtle message. Taking care to only feed it what nourishes and that is not only food, but also my movements and even my thoughts. No judgement, no criticism, yes to acceptance and appreciation.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do”. If we lived by this truth and actually allowed ourselves to live love we would have a very different world.
If we were to be 100% diligent, accurate and honest with the way we use words…oh my goodness…so many of the conflicts of the world (from the home to the biggest stage of international politics) would be resolved immediately.
The term ‘loving acts’ exposes itself in the words. They are an ‘act’. How many of us do this in order to tick the boxes but our lives are actually void of the livingness of love?
I love that Rebecca as it just goes to show the lies we have been sold.
‘The lies that we have been sold’ and willingly bought.
It is not always comfortable, but there is great honesty in letting ourselves feel the momentums of living in the ‘doing’ of what we thought was love, and the consequences such as exhaustion in the body. From there we can re-orientate ourselves back to a true expression of who we are from what is felt in the body. We cannot go wrong with this approach…
“I truly believed that I was good at expressing my loving feelings to others, be that in the cards that I wrote or the words that I spoke. I also believed that many of the things that I did were loving, e.g. buying people thoughtful gifts, helping them out, listening to them when they needed support …” – you are writing about me Alexis (and so many others experiences too) – I was exactly like this and genuinely considered myself to be an open, loving person though deep down I felt-knew this to not really be the case; that I was living with a padlock over my throat and heart in protection. It was not until I came to Universal Medicine 10+ years ago that those padlocks came off through self-understanding and self-love, and where I realised my own placed inhibitions were the same ones I also had placed on others too. As the saying goes – what we do to ourselves we do to another. And what we do to another returns to us.
I have felt that too in my body Zofia, that the protection is not just over the chest but up over the front of the throat too – our non expression of the love held back.
“The body that I hauled around with me to do my ‘loving’ deeds was totally bankrupt,” As was mine too and we kid our selves that we are doing good work that cannot be faulted. What an evil it is to disguise our lack of love behind the veil of “good”, so that no-one can point a finger at our evident lack of self love because we are doing so much good for others.
What used to seem quite loving can now seem quite abusive and so it keeps evolving and will until we are pure love once again.
Yes. It will take time. But if the intention and commitment is there, then that is all that is required. I am far more impressed by the student who works hard, than I am by the student who gets good results.
I love this Kev, totally agree the world is certainly in need of our choices to deepen the love until we are pure love again.
What a sorry state of affairs, that we have manhandled and mangled the meaning of the word love to such an extent that it now resembles abuse far more than it resembles love. And as love is supposedly woven throughout all sectors of pretty much every society everywhere, what are the ramifications of this?
There are too many images associated to love which are void of it, that can confuse us if we don’t fully honour the love that we are in the way we live and treat ourselves. Love can’t exist without self-love
Love can only come from the body and not from the deceiving mind as that has a self destructive nature, which is revealed when we objectively observe how people are conducting their lives in our nowadays societies.
As said in this blog, doing good has nothing to do with love or being love. It is not an act initiated by the body but initiated by the driving thoughts from an inner emptiness or inner lack of worth instead.
What an evil way/ cunning behaviour it is to keep someone and others in the belief of being and acting out of love, although beliefs, as you said- lack of self-worth- need to be seen and accepted are the actual impulses why people do “loving acts”. Not being aware of hurts will always sell yourself the belief that you are in fact loving, although everything is actually for your own self.
The lack of self worth is fed by the emptiness we feel in ourselves that makes us to go in this trying to fill this emptiness with doing good. The emptiness that is bottomless because of this lacking love for ourselves. Therefore this doing good will never be able to still the pain we have from the lack of love we have for ourselves that makes us to go into this endless loop of doing good for others. We can keep each other very busy in that without looking to the real causes behind this drive we are in and therefore it is so cunning as we are thinking we are doing good, but in fact we are going nowhere, only around and around feeding the same thought over and over again.
Imagine if Batman had just stayed Bruce Wayne – that would have been totally reasonable – but the world would’ve missed out on his true power and clout. The same goes for us – just because we can get by playing small doesn’t mean it is true at all.
Mmmm reading this it is showing me that I clearly need to listen to my body more.
How we feign loving acts is pretty awful, we are often bargaining, I will do something for you, if you do something back in return. True love is a holding of the person for who they are.
It’s actually ridiculous that so often we push ourselves to the point of exhaustion before we realise that the way we’ve been living isn’t working. What’s key here though if we do get to a point when our body literally makes us stop, is that unless we address the underlying issue of why we got to that point in the first place, nothing will actually change with regard to our true health and well being.
I am observing this behaviour around me and most of the times when people come to a stop, they do not appreciate what this stop moment has on offer in the moment but instead they project themselves directly into the future where everything will be normal as it used to be. Everything will become good again…
Awesome article Alexis. We do talk a lot about love but as you say, it is because we miss it in ourselves more than because it is everywhere. It is so practical the way you have stepped us through what is not loving and how you gradually shed self-abusive choices. I liked the way you shared that each loving choice reveals the next one so there is always refining in the process.
“What is the one thing that we say we do the most of, without actually” realising we do it continuously or “doing it at all?”
Answer: = ‘Incarnate’
So like fake-news we have fake-love and we totally dismiss reincarnating or reinterpret like we have with Love to hide the Truth!
What is about words given that we are an intelligent species, that changes words so that they have been turned upside down to falsify the true energetic meaning and integrity that originally have come with? Could it to keep us from being connected to our essence where Love has always resided!? Our “fabric,” essence, esoteric and inner-most all being one in the same.
I used to think I was an expert on love too, until I realised it was need and not love at all. This was a bit of a shocker. Now I have come to an understanding of what true love is in expression and I am relearning to express what is in fact innate but long time forgotten.
Love comes through us, not from us.
Yes, Alexis, once we let go of the ideals and beliefs about who we ought to be, we can simply be ourselves and naturally start to express the boundless love we come from.
Perhaps the biggest belief for us to bust is that ‘we’ exist at all because in truth there is no ‘we’, only a collective us and even that ‘collective us’ is a step away from the absoluteness of truth because the absolute truth is there is only God and no-thing else.
True Alexis! Through surrendering in our body love can flow through us. The more we allow that, love is instantly there.
Love is always there, it’s just that we’ve closed the stopcock off.
Great comment Richard, it makes me realise how crazy it is for us to fall for these pursuits as a way to avoid connecting to true love. Also, when we avoid connecting to love, I know it is our spirit getting in the way and playing games to avoid connecting to love at all costs.
Why would we cover the love that is within us and then go searching for it outside ourselves? It is a strange thing to do and now I understand that love is within all of us, I realise how much we have been avoiding love.
This is a very revolutionary article on the way we see and frame ‘love’ to be, challenging thousands of years of ideals and beliefs built around the word.
Alexis this is astounding you make it so clear to all that read this that to be anything less than love is abusive to our own bodies and then with a body that houses self abuse – how can we be love for another?
Alexis your blog reminds me of the extent to which society celebrates the efforts of those who continually put the needs of others others ahead of their own but, as you describe, this is actually very unloving and abusive to ourselves and isn’t the loving act we make out it is to those we are ‘helping’.
‘You see, love is who we all are, it is the very fabric of our being, it’s just that we do such a good job at covering it up constantly with our non-loving choices that it’s totally obscured from our view. But the fact that we lose sight of it does not mean that it’s not there. In fact, it can never not be there, how can it be?’
All we have to do is give love permission to come out, to be our guiding light, to express in full and be ready to love every human being and ourselves.
Yes all that love inside waiting to be connected to and our body is the greatest guide for us to do so. My body has guided me on my journey with building love for myself so allowing me to take this love to others, and it was from Serge Benhayon’s presentations that I became aware of how little love I had for myself and my body and this then gave me the choice to make changes to my daily choices and start making them loving..
“Love is the fabric of the Universe”. Just truly considering this can dispel the notion that love could be reduced to that gushy feeling, a need, or any other emotional banner most of us have in the past put it under.
I can sense the grandness and the stupendousness of it. And while I can sense that although this is what the Universe is made of, it is within me too, this helps me understand that God, the Universe and I are not as separate as I thought.
It can be challenging to admit that we have been doing things a particular way for years only to discover that what we thought was helping in fact was doing the opposite but an amazing thing to allow this level of honesty, to swallow our pride and then to start making choices led by our hearts and a true understanding of love.
One of my most non loving choices has been to keep people out. Releasing the hardness in my body has been fundamental in opening up, feeling that I can drop the protection and accepting the two way flow – that I am love and indeed lovable.
Interesting you write “lovable” Rosanna. I have spent a lifetime of feeling I am not lovable, the result of a belief I am not worthy of love, and how would anyone want to be in my company. This is pure abuse of myself and so far from the true love inside me. It has caused me not to be able to fully open my heart and express myself from the love i now know is there to others. Things are changing as I slowly become aware of what my body shows me and have a deeper relationship with it and let go of so many belief systems.
Awesome Rosanna. I have done this too, by holding onto protection and going into hardness blocks out the flow of love and this only occurs when I have old unresolved hurts.
Thanks to Serge Benhayon, the true meaning of the word Love is emerging once again.
Serge and love are one and the same, as are we all, it’s just that Serge doesn’t resist love, he has allowed himself to surrender fully back into it.
“The body that I hauled around with me to do my ‘loving’ deeds was totally bankrupt, but the real problem with the way I felt was that it just felt so normal to me that it never entered my mind that there could possibly be another way to feel”. I simply had to repeat this sentence as it sums up so much of my life until recently. As I stopped to read it several times I could feel the endless ‘bankruptcy’ I inflicted on my body and the associated belief that this was a normal way to live. I have now learnt, thanks to the wisdom presented by Serge Benhayon, that this state of existence is in no way normal and most importantly I have learnt there is a much more abundant way to live, a way founded on love.
How wonderful to be able to write off all those loving acts of 30years and see the web of lies around love that they created. I can often feel a pressure to conform to the norm of what love is considered to be but is actually soaked in guilt, in duty or obligation, in need, in resentment, in jealousy or competition etc.
How wonderful to see through all this and commit to love knowing that the world may have a few adjustments to make but that love remains a constant. It is the core of who we are and if what’s not love needs to topple that’s great. So the pressure I may feel not to be love is only a force trying to dissuade me from being love because it knows it’s foundations are false and easily crumbled.
Ouch! But so true! It seems you can replace the word Love with ‘need’ so very often.
It can be so easy to say the words ‘I love you’ and soo much emphasis is out in these 3 words yet so often whilst we may mean it if we do not carry the level and depth of love in our body from every movement that we make then they are just words. It is not so much the words that matter but rather the depth of quality and beholding energy love comes with that we feel from another.
One of the amazing things about self love, is that there is no end to it. Something that seems self loving today may end up feeling less so the more you surrender to your body and to love. There is always more to explore.
This true self love is a beautiful invitation to once again explore, evaluate and constantly refine what supports the body to feel vital and steady, and as this bodily awareness continues to build its so clear to see how the mind does not make choices that nurture the body.
Trying to ignore the fact that we are and know true love is self-abuse. This is where the body can help us out but the mind will never let us know what true love is.
Yes, Jane. With each moment we can choose our true essence or a lesser version, so everyday life presents countless opportunities to learn and grow in love.
This is such an honest statement that I can very much relate to – “The body that I hauled around with me to do my ‘loving’ deeds was totally bankrupt”. A body forced to be in constant doing without any true fuel, is going to eventually pay the price of running on empty.
Yes I need to heed this as I am feeling the effects of running on empty and knowing what I thought I could ‘get away with’ in the past is so obviously not so today. There is a real refinement required.
You’re exactly right Janet, my body ground to halt, just like a car that has run out of petrol.
Yes, we can push our bodies so hard, regardless of the messages they tell us to stop ‘doing’… until we have run out of fuel and crash exhausted – but feel let down by our bodies – when it is us who have chosen to run on empty.
Our body carrys an inherent imprint of love, one that over the years we are taught to over ride and abuse, yet it forever remains within us, patiently waiting for us to re-claim and resume our path of evolution back to the immense Masters of Love we immutably are.
It is true that love is one of the most abused words which is a huge abuse in itself.
I love how love accepts people just as they are, without judgment or need, holding them as equal and allowing them to be who they are without imposing any demands. Feeling love from another, being held in this way invites us to connect to the love that we are and to live from this love – it’s incredibly beautiful.
So beautifully said Alison.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything we do” – well of course, without water in our glass there isn’t water to drink.
The universe is the body of God and God is love so how can we not be love ourselves, we breath God with every breath we take and yet as you say Alexis somehow we have lost touch with who we are and what we are here on this planet to do.
Like a kid in a fancy dress shop with an endless supply of clothes, we try on outfits, personas and characters to entertain, but the whole thing is just a huge delay to stop letting our true essence flow.
Having seen where you came from, to where you are today, is all the evidence needed to confirm the healing power of love. Innately we all know the power of love, only some of us choose to take longer to come back to it.
It is time that we all faced up to what love really is and not the counterfeit type that we are sold and most of us fall for.
Love has no ounce of emotion in it and until we start to understand and renounce the emotions we are running ourselves in we cannot truly understand what it means to express love.
There is always a deeper level of love we can go to. We may think that we are being self loving but there is always more.
Love is not an emotion but a state of being that can be expressed and received. The more I understand this the more my life changes.
The insights and pointers offered in this blog are great, because reflecting on them more and more the understanding deepens that love is so much more than the limited and reduced definitions we have been holding it as. In fact for anyone wishing to reflect deeper into the stupendousness of the actual meaning of this word do visit this site: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html
How many songs, poems, sonnets, books and people talk about love as if it was yesterdays washing that needs to be hung out and aired because we deeply feel that love is the stuff we are made of but until the truth about Love was presented by Serge Benhayon most if not all had no idea how to return to Love. Starting with the Gentle Breath Meditation was the first stone that needed to be placed in-front of us because love was too big a deep from being lost in the illusion that was held around love. So as you have shared alexis: “With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed.”
I love how Serge Behayon presents that love is spherical – as in it encompasses everyone and everything so naturally it wouldn’t ask us to disregard our body in order to be loving, but to hold ourselves in that love equally, no more, no less…
This makes total sense and exposes very clearly anything we may call love but isn’t.
“The idea of love is woven through pretty much every aspect of our lives”, and that is our dilemma, its the idea of love that we try to live up to instead of living from the truth from our heart and letting that guide us.
Love is the fabric of the universe… so it must be that Love is the fabric of our bodies
A tunic I lovingly wear!
Love, alongside truth, is the most powerful super hero tool we have in our kit box… when used in its correct meaning and context there is nothing more transformational in life than this in full expression. It’s sad that we have lost the meaning of love through reinterpretation and emotional need.
This is a great wake up call for us to consider do we just give our power away because its the thing to do or do we truly feel into something. Love has been sold in so many different ways, and yet this blog exposes how we deeply know what love truly is when we want to go there and then it also asks us to look at all the things that are not love in our life.
This is a great sharing as in that what you were living prior to self love is so normalised. So it’s great to expose it as not actually being loving at all.
Yes, not loving, just normal.
Brilliant!… Your blog confirms to us how Love is our natural state of being human as it is … “… the one thing that we say we do the most of, without actually doing it at all?”
What I would have deemed as self abusive choices has changed over the years as the layers of abusive behaviours have been peeled away. The self abuse and the lack of care I used to put my body through are no longer things I do, such as pushing my body until totally exhausted and needing 3 days to recover, drinking alcohol and eating foods that my body is screaming to me I should not eat. But there are still the subtle and hidden ones that surface and when I recognise them they are very much an aha moment…and offer me a moment to stop and reflect and learn to choose differently. Even a movement in my arm that is not loving that causes me to bump my elbow is now seen as abusive because it is already a step away from the love and care I know is possible.
“With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed.” is so true Alexis. We get so many layers of non loving behaviors and habits we do, it feels like there can be a block to feeling the love that we are and that we can lose sight of who we truly are.
How many “feigned loving acts” do we see and feel in our everyday… it is role models such as Serge Benhayon who live the truth of love and inspire so many.
This is so true, that if there is no love in our bodies, that what we offer anyone else cannot be love. We are not brought up to love ourselves but that is what we have to do before we can feel love in any aspect of our lives.
The false version of love we carry comes from the head, the true version from the body. Love has to be embodied to be truly shared.
It is amazing just how much the word love is used, and yet how often people struggle with it, to accept it to express it – is it because our use of the word is so often devoid of true love that we actually don’t know what it is?
We do know what love is because we know what love is not. If we are honest let alone truthful we all know it is not loving to hurt ourselves or each other.
I agree Nicola, but many would say that to care for others, to give to charity, to dedicate life to God through an institution, to provide security for our children, to look after our blood family does not hurt us, and are high forms of love, and yet even if every person reached this level of ‘love’ I believe we would not reach true love and settlement because we are never taught that true love comes from within, and is first and foremost a beholding understanding before it is an action.
Unimedpedia Love – http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-love.html gives a great description of what love truly is.
“Cutting out self-abusive choices is an ongoing process and one that feels like it has no end. With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed.” I hear you on this, a constant refinement towards what is a never-ending depth of love.
Alexis, this is really key; ‘Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.’ Reading this I can feel how I can get really busy and doing lots of things for others, but that I can actually be exhausting myself whilst I am doing this and so this is not loving, it’s actually harmful. I can feel that there is another way – which is take care of and love me first.
More than being ‘another way’, ‘taking care of ourselves and loving ourselves first’ is actually the only way that we can possibly be love with others.
I love the steps of allowing your body to reveal more and more loving choices, especially regarding the kettle at work! Great to offer your work colleagues this reflection of care and love.
‘Not only am I writing off every single one of those supposed ‘loving acts’ as having had nothing to do with love whatsoever, but I am clearly stating that my feigned ‘loving acts’ contributed to the web of lies that we have spun and continue to spin around the subject of love.’ This is a corker of a statement and you illustrate why as you continue through this blog. You cut through to the chase and in doing so expose what real love is.
Love your honesty in truly looking at your behaviour and seeing the what you thought was loving was not, because you had not applied it to your self and your body first. When we treat our bodies with the same care, attention and genuinely thoughtful love, then everything we do for another is inherently infused with all the vitality and zest for life that we have imbued in our bodies and so the quality of our love is naturally passed on.
Asking our body what is loving, and what is not loving, is true love. It is a process of constantly tuning into this, and as you said refinement, as one loving answer allows for the next loving answer. This is a process that I have found challenging but I know that it is here in the body that we find true love, and not in all the commercial, societal and cultural ways that we have believed love resides.
Recently I was talking to a woman who told me her grandson was born severely disabled, he is now a young child but in spite of everything he is so full of love and joy for the world. And she said they are learning so much about a different kind of love to the one that is touted in society and she said if they had had a ‘normal’ child they would have missed out on so much because he is showing them there is so much more to life, as he is so genuinely loving and open-hearted. This shows me that we are born with love, it is the very fabric we are made of, and this little boy is a testament to that love and because he cannot conform to the way society expects us to be he is still holding onto the love he was born with and reminding everyone that this love is within us all too as it has enabled the family to reconnect back to the love within them.
How beautiful Mary. I can feel that this little boy has not built any protection around himself and is totally open, as we can all be if we choose.
Gorgeous Mary a great reminder for us all that we are born loving and caring, and if we are willing to hold onto this, as the little boy did and not conform to all the other versions that we are constantly told is love then it is an amazing inspiration for us all. Thank you for sharing.
So true Doug… that children fully express love and expose the love their parents gave up on.
How lovely what the women could see and said about love. Thanks for sharing this is very joyfull ✨
Years ago, I had a very interesting conversation with an Esoteric Practitioner who lovingly pointed out the many different versions of love, and that the person I did not understand was showing their love in the way they believed love to be.
We have been sold and we have bought into the many watered down or untrue versions of love and I feel we are all getting a bit tired of what is not true love, and everyone knows, whether they are willing yet to admit it or not, that anything less than the true deep love we all come from just can no longer cut the mustard.
It’s a really big reality check that love is a quality of energy that is lived first and then expressed outwardly from the body living it.
Great point, Alexis – “my feigned ‘loving acts’ contributed to the web of lies that we have spun and continue to spin around the subject of love”. It is so confusing to hear the words and see the actions of love but feel the emptiness in them.
Great point – being estranged from the body we are also disconnected from the indwelling love hence the conclusion to reconnect to the body, listen to, honour and cherish it and thus love is known from the body once again rather than seeking love outside with a body deprived of its innate riches.
After spending most of this life, pushing and stretching my body in a method similar to what a rolling pin does to a lump of dough, I have discovered how flexible our bodies are and its limits. Even after years of self-abuse, when we cut out these bad choices, the body will re-emerge, for it has never left, we just stopped listening to it.
So completely has the word love been distorted, bastardised and ruthlessly marketed we no longer know what it is to love from within with no agenda. To feel the quality of love within our bodies unattached to anyone or thing is blessing.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do” It really is that simple, and yet not.
We only get to that place with a huge dose of honesty, discarding all that is not love and steadily learning to love ourselves first and foremost.
Love it Alexis – your honesty is very refreshing reminding me of the evil in doing good with not one ounce of love for the self. When I am filled with love in my body I do not need anything back… it just is… what is next…
We can only feel the truth of a word from our body and if our body has not lived self-love and felt the depth of the Love we are from then it will not recognise the love being offered to another as less than the most they can offer. This is where it comes back to simply wondering if there is a deeper level of care and love we can bring to ourselves and how honest we are being about what our body is sharing with us.
We are love, love is quite literally who we are, therefore on some level we are able to recognise what is us and what is not, regardless of our level of self care.
I agree completely therefore why do we choose to negate this knowing to the point that we convince ourselves we don’t know and feel at the mercy of life around us???? Because clearly that is more our normal than knowing we are Love and quite literally so as you say!
The human doing of love rather than the human Being of Love. I am very familiar with the excuse of the former as I avoided the tenderness of the latter.
At 57 years of age, I’m finally learning how to truly love and it feels amazing. Thank you, Serge Benhayon for your enduring commitment to sharing the truth of how things are so that we may all make truly informed choices about how we are choosing to live, with love.
Thank you Alexis! Bringing truth to this over used term is not only important right here and now but it is the way out of the mess we as humanity find ourselves in due to the lack of honesty that you reflect here. It is my responsibility to address my relationship with Love. My body knows the truth, the question is how willing am I to listen to it or do I continue to willingly lie my way through life? To lie my way through life is to – well slowly kill myself because my body is constantly under attack.
Thanks Alexis for exposing the ‘myth’ around what humanity believes love to be. So much is recognised, rewarded and ticked off when love is seen as a ‘doing’ exercise, without considering how the person may treat them self. The whole understanding of what love is has to change, love is a quality we hold ourselves in and nourishes every part of ourselves first and this quality remains in every movement of our life and then flows out to what we do.
How exposing it is to realise that whenever we are doing anything that is not coming from a body of love it is not loving. Love is a quality of being.
“Love is a quality of being’ Yes it is Victoria and to have this understanding a blessing.
Yes, Victoria, developing a body of love is essential to then reflecting that quality to others. We cannot help but feel love when we are around someone who lives in this way, because it is also who we innately are.
This is very honest and revealing account of what love is and what it is not. Love IS who we are as you say, it is not in the doing in anyway at the expense of the body. I love your examples of the body knowing what is not love and how we are registering every little detail in our bodies that is not aligned to the quality of love that is our nature. Thank you Alexis.
It shows how intelligent our body is, much more than the mind that thinks it knows love.
Yes, and so simple too. The body loves simplicity whereas the mind disconnected from the body can get caught in complexity.
You do find the word Love popping up all over the place, it is often used to sell things pronouncing that a certain item was made with love for example when clearly this is very far from the truth. It shows clearly that many of us are not living what we say, we use the word as if disposable and optional. Embodying and living Love is something else entirely different and enriches everything and one that it touches, to be more of who they truly are.
I love here how you have really exposed how we all know love deep down but keep insisting on accepting a reinterpreted, reduced and ‘reconstituted’ version of love which is actually not love at all it is just recognition.
New and improved love will never replace the original, that has always been complete!
Love is a being and not a doing – and this is a great reminder for me any day! It lies in the quality of my actions and is not about the action itself. How valuable is this to know!?
The word Love has been twisted out of its original meaning and now in our society is associated with something it was never intended to mean.
It’s been very humbling to admit I didn’t know what love was in connecting to it and expressing it – even though it made sense I am of and from love- how else did I know so strongly what was not love? Gradually removing the layers of what isn’t love to reveal it beneath is very beautiful.
I love the short but very clear discription of your ‘before’ life Alexis as I am sure many people will be able to recognise themselves in it. As you yourself felt back then, many of those will see it as normal as well and your sharing will help them see through this and make, if willing, a first step back to listening to their own body.
“So a question I ask myself is that if I was unable to feel any love in my body, then where did I think the love that I imagined I was giving others was coming from?”
A cracker of a question and total hats off to you for having the honesty and the guts to ask yourself it.
‘if I was unable to feel any love in my body, then where did I think the love that I imagined I was giving others was coming from?’ – wow – what a powerful question to ask yourself. I’ve certainly jumped on the self abuse bandwagon and not once did I ever consider ‘if I can’t feel love then what am I giving to others’ This is a major reflection point for us to be absolutely honest as to what energy we are allowing to run our bodies, and in turn projecting onto others.
This is great Alexis, and may I add ‘unconditional-love’ to the bevy of words that surround the many takes we have on one word that seemingly creates so much mistrust because of it’s misuse!!
The hallmark of truth is quality not fine words and sentiments.
‘The body that I hauled around with me to do my ‘loving’ deeds was totally bankrupt…’ how many of us experience the same, Alexis? This is a great exposure on what we think love is and what it truly is.
Who knew, that the body itself has all the answers? Well we all did/do but were/are ‘hell bent’ on avoiding knowing because it is painful when we realise that the lack of love for ourselves, the abuse of ourselves, simply translates to not truly having love to share with others.
When I feel no love in my body it is like giving a present that is nothing more than an empty box but it is even much more damaging than this empty box, for both, for me thinking I give love and for the one who receives this so called love. We are keeping up appearances as deep down we all know what love truly is and that we cannot give love but only be love.
Agreed Annelies, the box is far from empty, it is in fact loaded with an energy that is actively working to suppress love.
When you start listening to your body by making self-loving choices, the body is very grateful and will communicate more and more with more details as well. Self-care brings forth more self-care and will lead via self-love to love.
I know the belief that the more I do the stronger I am, especially as a woman and also that I have to do it all by myself, very well. And how simple is it to ask myself wether these beliefs brought love into my life or made me take care of my body: no way!
It’s totally possible to turn ourselves around, from ‘run ragged’ to a more and more refined way of living lovingly with ourselves – and (consequently) everyone else. Taking a loved body to work, to bed, to your partner and family is a totally different experience for everyone!
I read some quotes from 3-7 year olds giving their definitions of love and they almost all revolved around how someone is, rather than the dynamics between 2 people in a relationship etc.
Yep see they know it yet we think we teach them!
What love is not, is what we teach kids.
It’s becoming very evident at the moment the ‘battering’ we administer to children when we assume and behave as if a child is less. Gone is the confirmation of all that they are, and on goes the silencing of their expression.
I ‘love’ how love is woven through all parts of life — this means something. I love that we hate which means we must know love, and I do not mean that we hate another because this to me is blame for your own hurt. So how do we have love in our lives? “Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.”
I love those questions to the body as so much can be learnt from the body. It’s the best teacher for how to be in life.
Yes because the body is a slice of Life.
Powerful message! Yes. I love that we are shown more honestly where we are at as a humanity and that we have been using words not living them. How awesome to see all of this and truly move forward by living what we truly want our lives to be – love.
This is a true and very wise statement delivered from the wisdom of the body. How fooled we are by being stuck in the mind and simply saying the words ‘I love you’ or we love this or that. This feels empty once there is re-connection to the body.
“without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do”
A powerful and inspiring blog to read Alexis. There is clarity and honesty in the exposure of what love-is-not.
The use of the word ‘love’ has been so totally abused that when one reconnects to its true expression it is life transforming and truly beautiful to experience and share true love.
Thank you for exposing that most of us are millions of miles away from actually expressing love. The biggest immediate reflector of when it is ‘not love’ for me comes with the understanding that the expression of love holds everyone in equalness: so if any single person is left out as less, whether it is me or anyone else, the falsity becomes clear.
Great point Golnaz.
Yes, it is exactly as simple as you put it here, without absolute equality there is no true love.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.” This was a shocking wake up call for me when I came to understand it, and realised that I had made my life about ‘doing good’ rather than about ‘true love’. Its something I am still working on, but it absolutely highlights the responsibility we have to make our lives about love first and the impact we have on others when we dont choose this.
It really highlights that true responsibility is energetic responsibility, as the quality of energy is the truth of any activity or state of being.
I find it interesting how you describe how you are refining your sensitivity to things happening around you, I find some music really grates and worst of all, ‘happy’ bright voices on the radio feel so false to me I have to turn the radio off. I use social media a lot and there are some interesting articles but as with the radio, some voice overs and music jangles my nerves and I have to mute or just stop.
A beautifully honest blog. Indeed – “…if I was unable to feel any love in my body, then where did I think the love that I imagined I was giving others was coming from?” So very true. We can’t give love if we don’t have any to begin with. It’s so important to build this for ourselves before giving to others.
We may use the words ‘I love you’, but if we are not expressing them ‘with’ love, they are just empty words, it’s the quality of love in our expression that is felt by another, which doesn’t even have to be spoken to be felt.
I love how you are exposing the reality of how things are – how freely we think we are ‘loving’, when, in truth, our bodies reflect a different perspective.
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.” bring me back to growing up, to school and to saying to someone I love you and it makes me realise how far from love we now are. The simple fact is obvious yet as you say we say we Love yet refuse to be Love, how could you offer someone a glass of water from a jug if that jug was empty of water?
Reading this Alexis I am reminded of all the stuff still in my life that is not love and never will be until I listen to me and make love/self-love the most important thing of all.
True, making choices from the mind to remove unwanted behaviours or foods, for example, won’t work. We either crack or substitute. Making a choice to not do something from listening to the body has a longer lasting effect as we get underneath and understand why we are doing what we are doing.
It’s gorgeous what you’ve shared about love being a ‘building block’ – it should be a ‘norm’ that we constantly deepen and expand on, not a quality that we settle for when we get a taste of how it feels to have love in some parts of our life.
Alexis, this is a great question to ask; ‘if I was unable to feel any love in my body, then where did I think the love that I imagined I was giving others was coming from?’ I used to think that love was something outside of us, that there were special people that bought love into our lives. I now know and have felt that love is our natural way and that true love comes from within. This has changed everything and the more I love me and connect to the love inside me, the more I find the love comes out and I am then naturally loving with others.
When we realise what we have believed for so long was not it, we have a tendency to want to correct it, but the trick here is that we are already it, and what I am learning is that swapping over of an ideal and trying just keeps us away, and in fact, trying does not seem to have a place in self-love.
Trying can only ever take us away from ourselves because how can we try to be that which we already are?
“… what I found is that by staying connected to the honesty of my body, my body constantly revealed to me choices that I was making that were not self-loving, — and what’s interesting is that those choices became more and more refined.” Superb article Alexis that explains how much we can con our selves that we are making life about love, when in fact our bodies have a totally different take on it. When we do afford our selves the opportunity to consult our bodies first about what they would prefer, life takes on a completely different expression, one that gently and carefully builds a quality within that then powers our every move with true Love.
I could so relate to all of this. The other major belief that I used to fuel my life on was ‘the more I do for other people = the more loving I am and the more accepted I will be’- when in fact all I was doing was using other people’s approval of my so-called ‘loving’ gestures to make me feel good and fill up an emptiness within myself. The abuse that we put our bodies through in order to gain some kind of speck of recognition and acceptance from others is quite extraordinary, yet it’s our normal when we’re disconnected from feeling more deeply in our bodies. Caring for the body is like a foundational building block that starts to slowly turn all of this around, leading to less self abuse and greater self love, the more we allow ourselves to feel.
The body comes alive when we start to ask it self loving questions – it’s all about keeping it light.
Yet another fabulous blog of reality, observation and truth Alexis that so well describes that no matter what we do or how many ‘acts of loves’ we make: “without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do” – to realise this energetic truth is to realise the dirty lies we have ingested by thinking and believing otherwise… and pulling ourselves out of the mud to then wash ourselves off with clean fresh water.
When I read an article like this, it seems so crazy that there is so much judgement and inequality in the world. Let’s face it, 99% of us are miles and miles of target, so how can we judge each other? If it is untrue then it is untrue and there isn’t such a thing as “more untrue than untrue”. Thus we are all equal in our errant paths and should thus just admit that we are students of this life and all go back to school together; and yet we don’t, I don’t, I settle for better rather than true.
We have been lied to on such a grand scale and for such a long time that we live the lies believing them to be true. I greatly appreciate this blog you have written Alexis and the honesty it is written in as I have discovered for myself that honesty is the starting point to unravel the lies we have swallowed hook line and sinker. Until I met Serge Benhayon I had no idea there was another way to live, I have challenged myself along the way but the times of feeling very uncomfortable in my body have paid off as there is a great settlement to be had and enjoyed, and now I would not want to live any other way. The way of The livingness is the way forward for me and countless others.
The Way of The Livingness is also the way back. Back to the Love that we all are.
It is humbling and a necessary step to acknowledge that most of our efforts have been to preserve self rather than truly loving. Once we get to this level of honesty, as you have Alexis, we can start making choices one by one to liberate ourselves from the shackles that have kept us from who and what we are by nature – love.
A complete and very honest shake-up of the use, expression and understanding of love. A total re-set, rather than just a gradual tweaking and finessing. Instead of trying to fit the square peg into the round hole, do we need to be totally changing our approach?
Love is absolute. As is truth.
Yes we think that we can be loving just by what we do but it is the quality we do things in that matters. When we come rushing into our hospice for instance to ‘do’ our voluntary work this will not be very supporting. The only way we can truly offer quality is through bringing true love to ourselves first.
Here’s the disturbing thing Lieke, I walked mindfully into the Hospice and gave meditation lessons to patients and in most people’s eyes, my calm manner was supportively soothing but and it’s a bombshell of a but, I was imbued with pranic consciousness, which basically means that I was hooked up to an energetic consciousness that didn’t have an ounce of either love or truth in it. Which leads to the very unsettling question ‘what was I delivering to those who were at the end of their lives?’
Isn´t it the most amazing joyful journey in life, returning to our true nature- LOVE. Refining all our choices is saying YES to us and as a result a YES to everyone else in the most sincere way. Not following, exposing and falling for any picture about what it looks like being love supports us to let go of the many pictures and ideals we took on to not be who we truly are.
‘Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.’ So often we can put focus on the external act but what about the quality we are doing it in. When we make life about energy 1st we start to see the importance of the quality we are living in and choosing ourselves and then this is what we bring to everyone else and everything we do.
Without love in our body, are we not the mouse in the wheel, forever running and going nowhere?
There is no trying in true love, only being.
When love becomes an activity, it no longer is love.
“With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed.” I love that very much Alexis as this for me seems the best and also the simplest way to live without self-abuse.
We kid ourselves when we call ‘loving acts’ those that are driven by a personal agenda, by our investment in a certain outcome. Love has nothing to do with all of that; love is love and nothing but love. It accords space for others to be and do as they seem fit and does not rely on coercion, whether overt or covert.
Love it!… Getting back to the basic fundamentals ….. “love is who we all are, it is the very fabric of our being, it’s just that we do such a good job at covering it up constantly with our non-loving choices…”
‘Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.’ This is a truth that exposes so much. It asks me to connect with my body and not an ideal. Connecting with my body asks me to be honest and live from there. I have had so many layers of beliefs, needs, wants that have hidden the love within, a love that will always continue to deepen.
Gorgeous blog Alexis, in which you show how simply we can all begin self care and hence bridge ourselves to allowing the love that is within to flourish and be expressed. Thank you!
“Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.” – Once again Alexis, you have nailed it here with this sentence that sits so true!
“our self-worth is measured by the number of ‘selfless loving acts’ we do for others.” – Alexis, well picked on this one being one of the biggest lies ever!
The greatest way to distract from the truth is to present a copy – a replica that seems to be what we all seek. Yet as you show Alexis in our heart and our cells we can tell a mile off the difference between the real deal and a decoy.
I was moved to tears reading this today. How much do we espouse love, and how little of it is actually lived in our bodies. I have my own version of your story as many of us do. I was spent, exhausted and little love was in my body. And also thanks to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I have slowly and surely been replacing non-loving choices with more loving ones, and as you so beautifully write – “With the removal of each non-loving choice, a little more love is revealed.” I lovingly await the day when all of humanity does this and more and more love is revealed.
Absolutely Sarah, and I too can relate. What a blessing for us all when we embrace such true and simple change little by little…and when someone else comes along and embraces this, then everyone gets a healing like a ripple effect really spreading through the populations.
It is awesome to hear the changes that are possible with true dedication and care for oneself.
It sure is and is very inspiring how when you renounce something in full for what it is you allow what you know is true to come through, you open up the space and love is there.
Space is not empty, it’s full of love, all we need to do is to stop closing off the space.
Very true Alexis, it is the unkown we so can fear yet when we allow and embrace the space we see it is anything but unkown rather deeply comfirming and connecting with all.
I love this simple reminder, Alexis, that love is what we are intrinsically made of, and that our journey of return in simply a matter of discarding what gets in the way of us feeling that innate loveliness all of the time. Choice by choice, it is the greatest joy to re-connect to who we truly are.
Acts that I previously thought were loving and selfless I have come to realise were not at all as underlying them was a personal investment.
Personal investment is very often at play when we do seemingly selfless acts; even just words spoken come often with a hidden agenda. It as though we were continually trying to twist each other’s arms for our own gain and advantage.
The moment we need to get anything out of a situation, true love is missing. It is interesting to explore in the most tiniest moments if we are seeking anything in them for us. I will explore even deeper after this blog, whenever my expression is pure or laced with my own needs.
In truth, true love is never missing, it’s just that we scribble over the top of it.
I absolutely love your blog Alexis, it is very honest, open and relatable. And, indeed, love is who we are and I agree that we do a very good job at covering this up but I am seeing more and more people like you who are willing to uncover and show the world who we are.
BOOM! Oh my goodness Alexis another stunning blog that is so easy to read and not only that you are so on point with the topic. I mean you have well and truly shone a huge big spotlight on something that has been going on for eons and we all ignore … myself included who also thought I was being loving with everyone but .. it is really insidious when we confuse nice, wanting recognition, or to feel good about ourselves and a whole host of other things with … Love! AND what we ‘think’ is love is actually not. I think you really nailed it when you said this ‘The body that I hauled around with me to do my ‘loving’ deeds was totally bankrupt’ As the body is the marker of all truth and cannot lie. How many bodies in the world are bankrupt!
Our selfless acts are often purely for the self, and not actually without self at all.
Yes, and that is the craziness we subscribe to and nobody benefits at all from it.
Indeed, underpinned by a lack of self worth, by playing ‘nice’ or requiring recognition. Yet society holds these people up.
To a lot of people this would sound too strict: ‘Without love in our bodies, there can be no love in anything that we do.’ But it is true, without self-love and care for our bodies there can’t be love in ourselves and without love in ourselves everything we do is void of it.
Is what we think is love actually love? We only know when, as you have shown Alexis, we begin to be more loving towards ourselves. It really does begin with us.
One need only look at a baby to know, see and feel the bundle of love we each in essence are. This essence never goes away but how far we drift from it will depend on how much we listen to the inner impulse of love and how much we listen to the outer ideals and beliefs that are fed to us that will try and shape us into something with much more corners and spikes.
What a beautiful shift this is from doing love to being love.
It’s sounds almost too simple just to say that the answer to all our woes is simply to be the love we truly are. But it nonetheless is very true. Nothing truly changes unless we change our relationship with ourselves first.
Yes it almost sounds too simple but all we have to do is to allow ourselves to be ourselves, to be all of us, to allow ourselves to connect to the grandness we all come from and not shy away from our power.
Lovely article Alexis, I love it when love is described in such simple ways as being innately what the body speaks. A joy to read.
Me too and I love the way Alexis exposed the many ways we think we are being loving but in truth it can be the opposite, especially when we ignore and abuse our body.
This is so beautiful Alexis, to write this and get us to realise what true love is. It is in the tiny details of our daily lives that we get the understanding of true love, starting with what is loving for our body and claiming that.
Loving our body is a great start Gill, this is where I started too. It is through listening to my body that I am slowly building my connection to the love that is within. It is my body’s love that is guiding me back to truth and love that has always been present.
It was true for my body to do things that it loves, like being warm, washing my face with a hot face cloth, walking.
“…. love is who we all are, it is the very fabric of our being, it’s just that we do such a good job at covering it up constantly with our non-loving choices that it’s totally obscured from our view.” Love this Alexis. yes and it can sometimes take a while to clear the unloving choices, which maybe we didn’t initially recognise as unloving at the time.
Such a good point we essentially become blind to what is truly there for so long that we give up and totally forget what the purpose of living is about.
“I began asking my body what felt loving to it and what didn’t.” Our body can tell us so much – if we stop to listen and then honour its messages.
It is the step by step process of bringing our awareness to our self with the focus on being super gentle and loving with our self in all that we do that will open us up to the love that we are.