A few months ago I attended a family wedding. It was a beautiful occasion with great attention to detail. One aspect that supported this was the appointment of table captains, the idea being that one person would attend to the needs of their fellow guests and ensure that everything was running smoothly at each table.
Personally, being a table captain was interesting. As someone who has been used to taking a back seat and letting things happen, being appointed to the captain’s role required quite a change in my approach. No longer could I just let the event wash over me, I had to be attentive to the needs of the other guests and be engaged in the process of ensuring things were running smoothly.
It made me reflect on my wider participation in life, how each moment I can be that table captain, taking responsibility for how others are, tending to the needs of people around us: not at the expense of our own wellbeing of course, but definitely there is an exquisite opportunity to care for and be proactively in the service of others. Or to put it another way, “get ourselves out of the way,” a term I first heard described by Serge Benhayon.
I also considered how the more I take on the role of table captain in my life, the less anxiousness takes hold as the presence we feel in ourselves becomes stronger. A perfect example of this arises in daily meetings. If I go into a meeting knowing I am not the chair or not the lead on a project, do I sit back and say, “Well, that person is leading, what are they going to come up with?” or do I play my table captain role and see myself as equally responsible for what unfolds, regardless of the picture of what my role is, not being the appointed ‘leader.’
In such a scenario, when I have taken responsibility, my energy levels and enjoyment have both skyrocketed, and I have felt the positive impact I have had on those around me.
This scenario could be related to any aspect of life and the wider societies we all live in. Do we say, “That’s someone else’s job,” or “Can’t someone else do it?” or do we initiate, take the lead, set the example, make things happen, and stand up for it when we know something is corrupt, not true, or just needs doing?
And if we are someone who is used to leading, the opposite can be true. We can provide support to others to take the lead – a table captain gently inspiring others to be captains too. The most beautiful thing about being the table captain is that we are tending to the needs of others, yet we are nourished deeply from the way we then allow ourselves to naturally be.
By Stephen
Related Reading:
Being Responsible for the Life I Live
Change your life
Serge Benhayon – the universal man
Words on Serge Benhayon 
Thank you Stephen, what a way to understand our life as most just want to take a back seat when the truth is we can all be more responsive in every situation so that life become a full-fill-ment of our natural resources through our most divine connection to our essences / ❤️ Inner Hearts.
Communities live in harmony when everyone is aware and caring for each other.
I love that you took the opportunity here to take the lead and then saw how you could change this in all areas of your life. I also love what you share here as it brings it back to equality ‘And if we are someone who is used to leading, the opposite can be true. We can provide support to others to take the lead’.
How different would the world be if we were all table captains? All acting with care and sensitivity to each other, and feeling the purpose to bring our all? Thanks Stephen for sharing your experience, it’s a great concept that applies to life. How often do we all just sit back and let others take care of things, when we are all equally capable of contributing and taking the lead when called to?
Absoulutely Melinda, we can all stand up and be counted as every one has the same opportunity to steer their life into still waters!
I remember when I was at infant school I was asked to be a dinner monitor, the same as being a Table Captain. At the dinner table I was responsible to make sure everyone had something to eat and there was plenty of water, to ensure that everyone behaved at the table, no rowdiness or rudeness, to make sure that everyone took their plates away and that the table was clean and tidy for the next sitting. It gave everyone a sense of responsibility and to work as a team. The system worked very well and looking back it was a way to set standards of acceptable behaviour which is sadly lacking today.
Thank you Stephen as what you have shared gives the feeling of how much appreciation you have for yourself and others, and to appreciate is understanding of how divinity comes through us all equally.
“If I go into a meeting knowing I am not the chair or not the lead on a project, do I sit back and say, “Well, that person is leading, what are they going to come up with?” We all have a seat at the table of life and an equal share in the responsibility to enrich the conversation for all.
When somebody sees our potential, we have the potential to see it too. Many people grow up in households full of critique, judgement and abuse – how do we expect our children to be bright and decent when they have never been taught that way of being?
Or to put it another way, “get ourselves out of the way,” and deepen in our appreciation of who we are in essence.
As appreciation of our divinity offers so much, when we understand that connection and then energetically appreciate what we bring with the most Loving authority, this is confirming us and thus setting us on the path of True-purpose.
When the naughty kid gets given responsibility, they often shine bright. When we show people that we trust them and we see their potential, they have an opportunity to fill their boots and walk in them. When we are constantly criticising and picking faults, that is what others feel from us too & the response can be expected.
Absolutely Viktoria, appreciating our ability to step up and into a situation is a deepening of our connection to our essences and thus we are able to “shine bright.”
Thanks Viktoria, great comment. Criticism and fault finding is rife, we so often see what someone is weak at instead of seeing the potential. Criticism is so common in conversation too, but we rarely hear the word “potential” about people, and not usually about their being but if it’s mentioned it’s normally about skills.
So if we took this to be true then how would our work and role be with children and young people? It would be about meeting and connecting with them no matter what and giving them responsibility and opportunities to shine brightly ✨
As a society we are much more at ease criticizing and finding fault with each other I remember as a child being told that if you don’t have something positive to say to another then don’t say it. We very rarely praise people for just being themselves. I have noticed when we do praise children especially they seem to grow taller and gain confidence, surely this is what we should be encouraging children to be confident about their place in the world.
It is a great foundation for children to confirm who they are and appreciate and nurture their inner qualities. So many of us as adults didn’t receive that and are not just unaware of what we bring from the essence of who we are, and we are super awkward with receiving any confirmation as we don’t often know what to do with it. We could as a human race establish appreciating one another for who we are as a standard, and instead of criticising we could gently point out what’s not true in someone’s behaviour or expression from a foundation of knowing and holding the true essence of the person.
Taking responsibility, be it leading or taking a back seat, depending on our usual behaviour, has become more important as I evolve more. Going out of our comfort zone is one way to do this.
I love people working together, putting all they have to the table – bringing a dish to a community event, helping organise and tidy up, writing music for the occasion & performing from their hearts. How beautiful is life lived this way? How beautiful is this community!
This was great for me to read today. I appreciate your sharing.
I like the idea of everyone being a table captain, we can all chip in and support each other when needed, as there is always something that needs doing, from simple things like washing or drying the dishes to more responsible roles in life. If we all contribute even in a small way it makes a big difference in appreciation of others and ourselves.
As someone who always enjoyed taking the back seat and letting others take responsibility it has come as a surprise at how vital, strong and joyful I feel by choosing to be in the front seat.
‘…when I have taken responsibility, my energy levels and enjoyment have both skyrocketed, and I have felt the positive impact I have had on those around me.’ This is so true. I’m looking at all the situations where I am reluctant to participate – usually something where I’ve been ‘ordered’ to go because it’s mandatory and I think I’ve got better things to do! It maybe that I’m feeling insecure but whatever it is I’m learning to get myself out of the way and be open to what is being offered for me and everyone.
Interesting how taking responsibility is portrayed as a chore and something that is exhausting when in fact it often results in the opposite – you feel inspired and energised as you are working with more purpose.
I agree Henrietta. It really surprised me when I started to initiate more in certain areas of my life, as I was used to taking a backseat. Not exhausting at all!
When we do not want to take responsibility, it is easy to want to blame another when things go wrong. But in reality by choosing the back seat and not speaking up/stepping up in responsibility when it was needed, means we are just as responsible as anyone else.
As we step into greater levels of responsibility, we get to live and bring the authority of the table captain and inspire everyone around likewise. All too often we take the backseat in life, but really it is about asking ourselves what we get out of this, and when is it time to really show the world who we are.
Being the one seems to be something many of us shy away from. I don’t know, does that come with a sense of having to carry the burden on our own, forever? It’s like, we are so scared of saying ‘Yes’ to stepping up to take the lead as if that would be a life sentence, like we can never ask for help from others, or others wouldn’t be wiling to support and contribute.
This is really interesting and makes sense; ‘I also considered how the more I take on the role of table captain in my life, the less anxiousness takes hold as the presence we feel in ourselves becomes stronger.’ I noticed this when I went to a party, I was initially feeling anxious, I didn’t know anyone and was not enjoying being there. I could see that food needed to be cooked and served and no-one was doing this and so I started to take on this role, I asked people what they would like and really enjoyed serving them, with this I felt purposeful, made lovely connections with people and really enjoyed the event.
I have found when at parties if I take food around then not only am I serving and doing what needs to be done, but it is an easy way to meet more people and to feel settled in my body.
Could the tendency to take a back seat be our lack of willingness to take responsibility? And, also an opportunity to then blame someone else when something doesn’t go to plan? Humm, something for me to consider as I have been really good at taking a back seat.
I too have found this; ‘In such a scenario, when I have taken responsibility, my energy levels and enjoyment have both skyrocketed, and I have felt the positive impact I have had on those around me.’ After being inspired by your article, I have found that if I act as the ‘table captain’ and care for those around me rather than waiting to be served and sitting there, then I have found this role to be very enjoyable, it is beautiful to support others and to feel purposeful.
This is really inspiring; ‘It made me reflect on my wider participation in life, how each moment I can be that table captain, taking responsibility for how others are, tending to the needs of people around us.’ Since reading this perviously I have noticed how lovely it is to support and serve others, this I have enjoyed at work and at social events – thank you for the inspiration.
Being there for others without a ‘what’s in it for me’ agenda feels great. There’s an openness to being with others without the impatient waiting for a reward for my efforts. And it is an effort when I am expecting a prize. There’s none of this when I get my self out of the way.
I have noticed we are generally so much more prosperous if we all take the lead when it is our responsibility to do so.
And from here we can learn to deepen our purpose and brotherhood together.
So true Joshua, embracing true leadership brings joy to everything we do.
To me it is essential to be fully active in life and not sitting back waiting for others to do something. This doesn’t mean you have to ‘do’ lots but rather how you are in yourself, fully present, open, transparent, willing.
Spot on Vanessa, it is a willingness to be ready to participate in full no matter how that may play itself out. And with this of course we need to maintain an awareness and know when to act and when to sit back and keep feeling.
Irrespective of what the roles are, we are all responsible to bring our vibrations along and share them with others. There is a false belief that if you go into the back seat you may just forget all about it.
“The most beautiful thing about being the table captain is that we are tending to the needs of others, yet we are nourished deeply from the way we then allow ourselves to naturally be.” Yes it is our True nature to deeply care for people and to activate this in life is very nurturing.
An interesting and revealing scenario that we could all apply for any part of our lives… At home, at work, in our relationships, and in the world.
Having table captains at a wedding is a wonderful way to expand the energy of brotherhood, responsibility and love together. It takes the quality of the wedding to another level.
“Table Captains” are needed in life to offer the next level of evolution and growth we can go to. Without them we can plateau and stay in comfort. And this is exactly what humanity has chosen and why there are so few true leaders in the world today.
When I consistently take a back role or secondary role it might mean that I do not bring forward all that there is to express.
The responsibility of living as equals, working to our strengths and never shying away from an opportunity to lead, overtly or simply by reflection… this is definitely something to commit to.
Aye aye Captain! Well said Matilda – we love having people to lead the way, but in essence there is a true leader within each of us, and this must never be forgotten.
I love the idea of a table captain at a wedding and how you have expanded it to relate to life. It is a responsibility and like any other responsibility it can be abused or used for the good of all.
I agree. When given a choice, it’s always easiest to do nothing, not to change. But I’ve found that this can actually be more tiring and frankly boring than stepping up to the plate and taking the perceived harder choice of making a change.
Yeah this is an interesting one. I think a lot of people see responsibility as a burden. Like ‘ugh, I’m the table captain. Now I’ve got to DO something’’. I’ve definitely been that person. But I also know that life is a lot more enjoyable if responsibility is seen as an opportunity to have (a) purpose. It may not always be the most fun thing to do, but it is supportive to me and to others.
Totally Nick life is so much more alive when we take responsibility, it’s such a con that it’s a burden.
Getting myself out of the way has been one of the greatest lessons gained from spending time with Serge Benhayon. And not necessarily because of what or how he has said it, but because of how he lives this simple approach to life, with each person he meets and in each situation he finds himself, there always being an opportunity to move himself out of the way and therefore making space for the greatness that is in him to come out and to be expressed – for the benefit of everyone.
We all can be the “table captain”, that is be the one who brings a focus to any situation and with focus comes purpose and responsibility.
Love this Elizabeth, focus brings the purpose and with true purpose everything is possible.
I so agree Elizabeth. Seeing and feeling what needs to be done is so important. The quality we are in is even more so, whether we are ‘table captain’ or not.
I have never heard of the term table captain before, what a fabbo and practical idea it is.
We all have something truly valuable to contribute to society and the more we claim the power and wisdom we all innately hold, the more we share or respond with the truth of what is needed for us to support each other to evolve as a humanity.
I appreciate what you have shared Stephen, as I too have taken a back seat in life letting things just happen, I have since realised that in the group I am in, I have an equal responsibility to bring all of me to the table so to speak with no holding back, we each have something to contribute to the whole we are a part of ..
I find it very empowering and confidence building to take the lead in all that you naturally can offer another.
I agree Joshua as it is part of who we naturally are in essence as the wise, beautiful, all-knowing Souls and in our essence we know what is needed for us to step into and when, for in this quality it is not about us as an individual but us as a humanity.
I find that being attentive to the needs of other people always makes for an amazing experience – this is what life is about – us all taking care and supporting each other.
“It made me reflect on my wider participation in life,” A beautiful wedding gift to you in all your relationships with others.
I simply love sitting down at a table with a group of people having fantastic connections and conversation, the icing on the cake so to speak is the attention to detail when others are caring for you like you would them. Beautiful.
Moving through life with attentiveness, awareness and responsibility never goes astray, in fact, they are very handy allies to have along the way.
It is very easy in our busy days to forget about those around us, and be in our own little world. But there is a responsibility we have for everyone we meet, not to pander to them and put ourselves second, but to walk on earth with the soul that we each are as our guide. With that alignment to our soul, we are offering everyone we meet the truth of who they are, without even uttering a word.