Unravelling “Busy’s” Fabricated Web

I have been meaning to have a chat with you, ‘Busy’, about a few things that I have realised – and you might have already noticed that things between us have been changing. All my life I have believed that keeping busy meant being productive – not a ‘loafer’ or lazy – and that ‘getting things done’ was an important part of being mature and responsible. Since I can remember, you have always been there. Yes, I grant you that you have been very diligent in keeping track of me and how I was going, relentlessly urging me on when I slowed down, but I’ve connected with an inherent wisdom recently and am now taking back responsibility for this part of my life.

Here are a few things I have been reflecting on and why I feel it’s time for us to part ways:

  • Your daily ‘to do’ list is impossible to achieve – even when I have managed to tick off nearly everything on the list, there is always more left to do and then the list grows again as a new day starts. I have long been a slave to your insistent demands, but it just doesn’t make sense anymore.
  • Constant worry about how I am going to get ‘everything done’ leaves me with low-grade anxiety: my sense of self-worth is diminished with feelings of failure… there is barely time for a fleeting acknowledgment for achievements before your discontented voice tells me “yes, but – you still haven’t…” or you “should have…,” “don’t get too far ahead of yourself, that’s just one thing, now what about …?” or you insist “you’re behaving arrogantly – how disgusting! Cut it out right now!”
  • I’ve noticed that in my ‘busy’ mode I tend to get single-minded about things with a ‘this is the way it should be’ attitude. It comes with irritation and judgment when others don’t share the same storybook ending that I’ve envisaged. You just open the doors and invite in your friends: Ms Right, Ms Wrong and Mr Righteousness. Please note: they are very unpleasant characters to be around!
  • Demanding perfectionism – well, don’t even get me started there or we’ll be here for weeks!!
  • You clearly thrive on competition, urging me to watch what others are doing and compare myself to them. Sometimes the ugly flames of jealousy are ignited, causing me to wallow in blame, regret, justification etc. This reaction in turn reinforces the belief that I need to be tough to prove myself.
  • Wow, all this time you’ve had me convinced that worrying about ‘time’ and keeping a close eye on the clock was very important; a big key to getting things done efficiently and effectively and proving I’m a ‘good worker.’ Workplaces champion ‘time management’ and this concept fits in perfectly with the picture you have sold me and which I have also unconsciously come to ‘worship.’
  • I feel exhausted and it has occurred to me that maybe the way you have long touted as the ‘only way’ to behave as a ‘good’ person isn’t on the right track after all. When I go to bed at night I feel a nervous energy, a raciness throughout my body, that makes it hard to sleep soundly. All day I have been super busy, rushing from one task to the next and even multitasking a lot of the time. Little wonder I don’t feel refreshed and invigorated at the start of each day!
  • You love to remind me that “I haven’t got time for this” when people are just chatting about inconsequential things. So, I put my head down and get back to work which indicates “I’m too busy if it’s not important.” Ahhh – how arrogant, offensive, rude and uncaring is that!
  • In terms of my relationship with myself, your brand of ‘busy’ leaves me cold, harsh and distant from me. Self-care is functional rather than self-loving or nurturing, while self-acceptance and self-appreciation for my worth as a human being are completely disregarded. This just all adds up to utter self-abuse.

‘Busy’ – your love for weaving the above types of complicated webs clearly demonstrates you don’t have my best interests at heart. Little wonder that the more I’ve opened my eyes and seen what’s really going on, the less your offerings appeal to me! I’ve been making many changes in my life, initiated by the understandings I have gleaned over time with the enormous support of Serge Benhayon and various other Universal Medicine practitioners.

I’m gradually learning what my strengths are and how I can best utilise them, recognising what is really being asked of me so I can direct my energies and time more purposefully. I now see that the façade of ‘busyness’ is simply a hiding spot I’ve adopted which keeps me separated from others. It’s been an excuse to hold back from showing the world who I really am, to play small when I know that’s not true. We are all uniquely grand and I am no exception. As the reflections in this blog present, pretending otherwise and colluding with ‘Busy’ actually drains rather than invigorates oneself.

I’m finding that time takes care of itself when I work at my body’s natural rhythm and pace. I’m learning to allow myself to do what tasks I can being present, gentle, flexible, and realistic about what happens and what can be achieved in a day. This results in simplicity, spaciousness and less nervous energy as I’m not pushing, criticising and driving myself all day. Yes, I still need to meet those deadlines, especially in the workplace, but there is a much calmer approach to the whole situation these days.

In the past I have obediently done your bidding, yet despite following your instructions with dedication and commitment, it hasn’t helped me get to the finish line any quicker. Furthermore, the work quality from past to present day is incomparable.

Lastly, but very importantly, my relationships are becoming more meaningful as I am re-learning the dance steps of how to best connect with both myself and others and the true value of intimacy. I find I’m a better listener which subsequently helps me understand and respond more appropriately at the time.

The transformations have been gradual and not always smooth sailing, but definitely worthwhile. Frankly ‘Busy’ – there is just no room for you in my life anymore and I know beyond any doubt that my current direction is the right path for me. You have been a very enthusiastic teacher and I have been an extremely dedicated, devoted student, but it’s time for me to take back the power and responsibility for how I live my life and unquestionably, The Way of The Livingness (Universal Medicine) is now my way.

By Helen Giles, Social Worker, Townsville, Australia

Related Reading:
Building love in our life
A Sacred Relationship with Self – Inspired by Natalie Benhayon
Self Care Tips

816 thoughts on “Unravelling “Busy’s” Fabricated Web

  1. I agree Helen there is a brand of ‘busy’ that is abusive because those nagging thoughts of
    I should be active and doing something anything is functional because those thoughts have no understanding or care of being connect to our bodies so that we can feel if our bodies just need a rest to nurture and re-gather, rather than continuing on like a mouse in a wheel not stopping until we drop from exhaustion or sickness.

  2. I have done the whole daily to do list thing and it literally is a tick box exercise … zero quality in it just about getting things done. So I have stopped doing this and starting to make it about quality .. although this is and I feel will be forever work in progress as there is no limit to our deepening.

  3. A great unravelling of ‘Busy’s” fabricated web..I can see so much of me and others in this blog and how it is when we get caught up in busyness…It happened yesterday, it was like I was grabbed by an energy that put me at full speed ahead giving no consideration for those around me…it was horrible to feel …..but thankfully short lived as I allowed myself to feel the frustration, anger and sadness that had been triggered…releasing that I was able to come back to a steadiness but I also registered the tiredness in my body…that surge of forceful energy I had used to get through had taken its toll and an early night was in order.

  4. Looking busy all of the time can make you look important and make you look like you are getting lots done. But in truth you can get lots done without looking busy and stressed out and in my experience I often get more done in those times that I am not trying to look busy but am focused on holding the connection with myself and then knowing exactly what to do and what not to do at that moment in time.

  5. Busy-ness is always draining. This does not mean you cannot be busy and get lots done, but it is when you are in the energy of busy-ness that you get ‘slammed’. It is about being with oneself and being focused and bringing exactly what is needed, then this breaks the busy-ness and allows one to be efficient and yet truly prioritize the things that need to be done and done in a way that holds you and all around with equal honouring.

  6. Busyness is a great distraction. We can wind ourselves up with having things in plan and being organized, and rigidly sticking to those self-imposed conditions, and it is a great excuse for demonstrating that we are cut off from the space, and strangely enough, we often think we are important and indispensable because of that.

  7. I can relate to the “low grade anxiety”, that used to arise regularly in my body when I was in “getting everything done” mode. And now I look back over these times, I can see that most of the stress resulted from my ingrained pattern of delay, putting things off as long as possible. A most debilitating way to live and one that I have been slowly dismantling over the last few years and still a work in progress.

    1. So true, putting things off leaves a pull in the body that can feel like a chain holding us back. Building a practice of completing projects and tasks in the moment is well worth developing. It is not going to happen overnight, but the more the space is felt in the body, the less the pull to delay has any hold.

      1. I know that ‘chain’ too well, one that keeps us in a constant tension until we break it. But it will not be the only chain of tension we have in our body, as there will be one for every single point of delay. No wonder I used to feel I was constantly carrying a very heavy load, and no wonder I was always tired!

  8. I can relate here to the ‘I haven’t got time for this’ attitude. When I get caught in busy mode or driven to get things done all my relationships suffer as a result.

  9. I used to think that being ‘busy’ equated to constantly having things to do. But actually busy is how I do what I do. It’s a rushed, single-minded, disregarding everything else and never feeling enough buzz. In busy I would moan about everything else that needs to be done because I wouldn’t have the energy and everything else felt too big a task. Being present however and gentle is another way to do what I do that doesn’t leave me anxious and drained but having enjoyed the day.

    1. Great point Leigh that it is not the amount that we are doing but the way we do it. I have found for me the answer to stopping the buzz is not to do less but looking at how I am doing it. In fact when I am less in busy mode I often do more with less tension and stress.

  10. Comparing myself to others in the work place whether as ‘doing’ less or ‘doing’ more creates a tension in my body as it is not about how much I do in a day but the quality I do it in. Being true to myself in what I can or cannot do is ultimately love I give to myself and offer others regardless the outcome.

  11. Having a super busy life in apparently normal for the majority of humanity. In my experience, being run by the mind with no awareness of how my body is = absolute exhaustion from hurtling around trying to fit everything in and get things done. Another way I am enjoying is to connect to the body, bring awareness to the breath and how I move = a strong, solid foundation with a quality of presence to whatever is being done without rush, push or drive.

    1. It is those times, when we allow ourselves to be run by our “mind with no awareness of how” our body is feeling, that we find ourselves dropping things, tripping over something, burning ourselves, the list goes on. But in stark contrast, when we move with our body and our mind in harmony, life flows much more easily, we don’t feel like rushing and our body is accident free.

  12. There’s nothing wrong with have a full schedule as such – and we could call that being busy – however – it’s the quality and intention behind what we do that counts. If it’s just purely functional and a tick box excercise then of course we are not going to love what we are doing – however when it comes with the quality of care and integrity then everything we do feels amazing – and busy doesn’t actually feel busy.

  13. Being busy first separates me from myself to live in my mind that then drags the body around to function without question. But the body can only do this for so long and the more I connect to my body the shorter that tolerance for being busy becomes.

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