Unravelling “Busy’s” Fabricated Web

I have been meaning to have a chat with you, ‘Busy’, about a few things that I have realised – and you might have already noticed that things between us have been changing. All my life I have believed that keeping busy meant being productive – not a ‘loafer’ or lazy – and that ‘getting things done’ was an important part of being mature and responsible. Since I can remember, you have always been there. Yes, I grant you that you have been very diligent in keeping track of me and how I was going, relentlessly urging me on when I slowed down, but I’ve connected with an inherent wisdom recently and am now taking back responsibility for this part of my life.

Here are a few things I have been reflecting on and why I feel it’s time for us to part ways:

  • Your daily ‘to do’ list is impossible to achieve – even when I have managed to tick off nearly everything on the list, there is always more left to do and then the list grows again as a new day starts. I have long been a slave to your insistent demands, but it just doesn’t make sense anymore.
  • Constant worry about how I am going to get ‘everything done’ leaves me with low-grade anxiety: my sense of self-worth is diminished with feelings of failure… there is barely time for a fleeting acknowledgment for achievements before your discontented voice tells me “yes, but – you still haven’t…” or you “should have…,” “don’t get too far ahead of yourself, that’s just one thing, now what about …?” or you insist “you’re behaving arrogantly – how disgusting! Cut it out right now!”
  • I’ve noticed that in my ‘busy’ mode I tend to get single-minded about things with a ‘this is the way it should be’ attitude. It comes with irritation and judgment when others don’t share the same storybook ending that I’ve envisaged. You just open the doors and invite in your friends: Ms Right, Ms Wrong and Mr Righteousness. Please note: they are very unpleasant characters to be around!
  • Demanding perfectionism – well, don’t even get me started there or we’ll be here for weeks!!
  • You clearly thrive on competition, urging me to watch what others are doing and compare myself to them. Sometimes the ugly flames of jealousy are ignited, causing me to wallow in blame, regret, justification etc. This reaction in turn reinforces the belief that I need to be tough to prove myself.
  • Wow, all this time you’ve had me convinced that worrying about ‘time’ and keeping a close eye on the clock was very important; a big key to getting things done efficiently and effectively and proving I’m a ‘good worker.’ Workplaces champion ‘time management’ and this concept fits in perfectly with the picture you have sold me and which I have also unconsciously come to ‘worship.’
  • I feel exhausted and it has occurred to me that maybe the way you have long touted as the ‘only way’ to behave as a ‘good’ person isn’t on the right track after all. When I go to bed at night I feel a nervous energy, a raciness throughout my body, that makes it hard to sleep soundly. All day I have been super busy, rushing from one task to the next and even multitasking a lot of the time. Little wonder I don’t feel refreshed and invigorated at the start of each day!
  • You love to remind me that “I haven’t got time for this” when people are just chatting about inconsequential things. So, I put my head down and get back to work which indicates “I’m too busy if it’s not important.” Ahhh – how arrogant, offensive, rude and uncaring is that!
  • In terms of my relationship with myself, your brand of ‘busy’ leaves me cold, harsh and distant from me. Self-care is functional rather than self-loving or nurturing, while self-acceptance and self-appreciation for my worth as a human being are completely disregarded. This just all adds up to utter self-abuse.

‘Busy’ – your love for weaving the above types of complicated webs clearly demonstrates you don’t have my best interests at heart. Little wonder that the more I’ve opened my eyes and seen what’s really going on, the less your offerings appeal to me! I’ve been making many changes in my life, initiated by the understandings I have gleaned over time with the enormous support of Serge Benhayon and various other Universal Medicine practitioners.

I’m gradually learning what my strengths are and how I can best utilise them, recognising what is really being asked of me so I can direct my energies and time more purposefully. I now see that the façade of ‘busyness’ is simply a hiding spot I’ve adopted which keeps me separated from others. It’s been an excuse to hold back from showing the world who I really am, to play small when I know that’s not true. We are all uniquely grand and I am no exception. As the reflections in this blog present, pretending otherwise and colluding with ‘Busy’ actually drains rather than invigorates oneself.

I’m finding that time takes care of itself when I work at my body’s natural rhythm and pace. I’m learning to allow myself to do what tasks I can being present, gentle, flexible, and realistic about what happens and what can be achieved in a day. This results in simplicity, spaciousness and less nervous energy as I’m not pushing, criticising and driving myself all day. Yes, I still need to meet those deadlines, especially in the workplace, but there is a much calmer approach to the whole situation these days.

In the past I have obediently done your bidding, yet despite following your instructions with dedication and commitment, it hasn’t helped me get to the finish line any quicker. Furthermore, the work quality from past to present day is incomparable.

Lastly, but very importantly, my relationships are becoming more meaningful as I am re-learning the dance steps of how to best connect with both myself and others and the true value of intimacy. I find I’m a better listener which subsequently helps me understand and respond more appropriately at the time.

The transformations have been gradual and not always smooth sailing, but definitely worthwhile. Frankly ‘Busy’ – there is just no room for you in my life anymore and I know beyond any doubt that my current direction is the right path for me. You have been a very enthusiastic teacher and I have been an extremely dedicated, devoted student, but it’s time for me to take back the power and responsibility for how I live my life and unquestionably, The Way of The Livingness (Universal Medicine) is now my way.

By Helen Giles, Social Worker, Townsville, Australia

Related Reading:
Building love in our life
A Sacred Relationship with Self – Inspired by Natalie Benhayon
Self Care Tips

566 thoughts on “Unravelling “Busy’s” Fabricated Web

  1. ‘I’m finding that time takes care of itself when I work at my body’s natural rhythm and pace.’ – so true, Helen. When we follow the impulse to do something, there is the time there to do it, which is why, if we delay, the task becomes more onerous and it seems as though we don’t have the time to do it, which is only because we allowed in the delay. When we stick to our rhythm there is a gorgeous flow.

    1. Alison great point, in the moment when we get the impulse or feeling or notion to do something and we do it with full care and quality there is no time issues. It’s only when we doubt, delay that things start to get complex.

    1. Michael great point, we make life about getting things done to make us ‘feel’ seemingly better in order to get our time off and break. None of this includes anything about quality or considering the importance of quality.

    2. I’m not even sure that we can call it ‘low grade’? When does ‘low grade’ become ‘high grade’? I don’t know and certainly am no expert but, actually, does it matter? In that surely living with any kind of consistent anxiety is an alarm bell that something isn’t right? Are we going to have the humility and courage to take a look at this or are we going to continue to drown the stark statistics and realities in more gigantic cups of coffee?

      1. The low grade is that it slips under the radar. I remember a few years ago being shocked that I had anxiety as I had associated it with something far more extreme. It’s the radar that needs to be adjusted and a dropping of comparison as if we compare high grade with low grade, our low grade may seem quite acceptable. Likewise, if so many of us operate quite well with low grade then surely it’s not that bad? If we reset and come back to the truth of ourselves, then low or high grade, we’d feel the discord.

      2. Absolutely Nikki. It is the same with our health. What level of “healthy” are we now accepting? Is it “healthy” to live with: a level of exhaustion that requires three cups of coffee to get through the day, a constant lower back pain, restless sleep, regular bloating, breathlessness when walking…etc….none of these would even register as unhealthy nowadays. We are telling lies to cover up the lies.

      3. I know it’s how we define things in society that is crazy. I heard an abuse expert define abuse that was not physical, as abuse only if it is repetitive. So we can yell at someone to get out of the way of the TV and pass the remote once and it’s okay but twice it’s forming into abuse….. What….

  2. I agree there is a difference between a day when I am caught in the busyness and fixated on time and days when I am in flow of just knowing what needs to be done next and not worrying about time.

    1. I couldn’t agree more Otto. I see it in myself at work mostly but also in my home life. Busy is a way of controlling how close I let people get to the real me and how present I am willing to be with them. Just within myself I feel so much more open and at ease when I am not choosing busy.

  3. It’s also a very effective way of saying NO to whatever is being offered to us. Meanwhile the wonderous world is going on around us and all sorts of opportunities to evolve and expand are being laid at our door. Do we want to get off our hamster wheels of individuality?

  4. Busy is pure drive. I know from experience that when I bring in Busy I’m replacing a true sense of what and how much is needed and instead feed the momentum that leaves me feeling unfulfilled – rather than the worth of what is to be brought.

  5. Helen, this is gorgeous to read; ‘This results in simplicity, spaciousness and less nervous energy as I’m not pushing, criticising and driving myself all day’. I have very much experienced that I can be very ‘busy’ and in drive and caught up in time and going into push or I can stay with me, not push but simply do what needs to be done and enjoy the process and stay light-hearted and open. For me the key is staying present in my body and not going into the rush and into my head thinking about all the things that need to be done.

  6. This is one of those blogs that the whole world needs to have a gander at, if we all weren’t so busy doing stuff and gave ourselves a chance to feel what is really going on or the chance to really connect with people. I shall never be able to use the I’m too busy excuse again as it has kind of lost its credibility.

    1. Love that Kevin – realising that ‘I’m too busy’ has no credibility, is actually deeply self-empowering.

  7. I too am learning that consistent self care and honouring puts “busy” right back into perspective, it no longer eats me up & pervades my being but becomes and enjoyable, confirming process of completion.

  8. When we are busy we lose sight of our purpose and our commitment to bringing our All to whatever it may be that we are doing. Instead we tick the boxes and put effort in to make it look like we super committed to life and doing work for our fellows.

    1. Michael a great point, in the busy we loose us and our purpose and with that we end up ticking things off a list (often more slowly than we could if we were not so busy)!

  9. Arrogance has a certain energy to it whereas being confident and speaking with authority is very different and even though others at times call you arrogant it is often to avoid the gold you are delivering. This is why it is imperative that we know ourselves so as to not get caught in others projections.

    1. Very clear distinction, and a good reminder to stay solid in yourself, thank you. I am noticing more and more that others may seem confused by my confidence and authority, and yes perhaps they see that as an arrogance when in fact it may be far from it. It is in fact honouring of everyone when we express truth, but they may choose to duck it.

  10. ‘We are all uniquely grand and I am no exception.’ – whatever else may try to get in the way and pull us away from claiming and living this truth, it still remains the truth and always will and the choice is always there for us to say a resounding yes to the absolute love that we all are.

  11. “I’m learning to allow myself to do what tasks I can being present, gentle, flexible, and realistic about what happens and what can be achieved in a day.” Beautiful and the antidote to buisness and stress allowing a flow harmony and space to open up for in our lives .

  12. Busy can be a long held pattern and momentum and is one that only has a way in because we opened the door and invited it in.

  13. Today has been a really busy day with a number of challenging situations and a few curved balls thrown in for good measure. I am appreciating how steady and connected I have remained and I even took a few minutes stop time in the middle, by just trusting what I feel and not feeling I have to get caught up in anything going on around me.

  14. The criticism we cast upon ourselves can be so subtle. These criticisms leave us feeling like we’re not enough, and this feeling of not being enough leads to living in constant anxiety because we don’t feel ready to deal with the world. What would it be like to step into the world with a sense of worth that nothing can knock down? To work and value what we produce? – A whole different society.

  15. Perfectionism is a heavy weight to bear. And one that doesn’t help in my experience either. Not that I’m advocating being dismissive of taking care of details but I would say that is a different thing to getting caught up in perfectionism and an ideal of how we think we ought to be doing things or how things should be going.

  16. We have bought in to the concept of ‘time’ to the extent that it is not only running our lives, it is running our societies. There are time limitations everywhere, that are dictating how most of us live and respond to the world around us, instead of allowing ourselves to follow our own natural rhythm.

  17. So much effort goes into ‘busy’ and yet not much is achieved… compared to when we remain steady within ourselves and far more is completed with very little effort.

  18. I saw a really great comic today, about a character in a book spending the whole book worrying about when the book was going to end – they were so busy worrying about the end, they didn’t enjoy the story and I feel business does this to us a lot in life, makes us so wound up and focused that we don’t live in the moment.

  19. ‘Busy’ is an act of self that keeps us identified by the constant motion – the hum and spin of it all. Unlike the stillness where our true self resides in the knowing it is not only a self, but part of something far greater.

  20. Sometimes I have to remind myself to check and feel if the busyness I feel is actually mine, or whether I have just been around people in busyness but can appreciate that I wasn’t a part of it. A day can feel frenetic externally, in contrast to staying with myself and with stillness on the inside.

  21. I’ve noticed this thing where the oft response to the question “how are you?” is “busy” which is an instant shut down to connection. In that we’re saying “I don’t have time for you right now so back off”. But we also reinforce the idea we are busy and can make ourselves anxious in trying to get it all done.

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