In some recent research I was involved in, I was surprised to find that in terms of therapy techniques, walking and talking therapy came up with quite low search numbers, whereas couples or relationship counselling, when couples sit with a counsellor, was much higher. This went against my experience of the beauty that can occur when walking and talking together to discuss matters between two people.
A while back I was at a presentation by Serge Benhayon from Universal Medicine and we were invited to participate in an activity where we were to walk with another, first hand in hand and then with our arms wrapped around each other’s back. Although walking with someone I scarcely knew and had never really spoken to, I felt very connected to the young lady beside me, as if I’d known her forever. But I can walk alongside many people during my day so what made this different? I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk. When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’ are necessary. We simply connected and walked together.
In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly. This is how my partner and I initially started dating, by going for long walks while talking with each other. During these walks, it was not just ‘small talk’ or the getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes or our views on certain topics. We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.
We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.
It has become a foundational keystone of our relationship that we regularly walk and talk together, usually hand in hand and as such, rarely (max. two times) do disagreements ever escalate into aggression or shouting. And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk. It’s the quality in which we relate to each other during our walk and the honesty and depth of the conversation that makes these moments what they are. After the walk, what may have been a heated or sensitive subject doesn’t feel the same as it did when we set off. We both feel lighter, clearer and closer to one another without all that ‘stuff’ between us.
I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body. When stationary, we can sometimes be in our minds planning what we are going to say next, or focussing on something the other person may have said. When there has been disagreement between you, it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them. If someone is caught in a rant, I will often move away from that person but invite them to join me for a walk; even if it’s only a couple of meters, the movement appears to curtail the discussion that would otherwise go around in circles.
Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere has been supported by my willingness to be present with myself, – while learning to express my feelings is making it easier be open and transparent with another. Although walking alone may provide an opportunity to focus on our personal issues, being in company with another to discuss them offers solutions to problems we may not have considered. At the same time, it is deepening our trust in each other, making our relationship much more open while there’s a feeling of settlement in the body. This is because I don’t have to be on my guard or stay protected, I can be at my ease and share myself with the other. There’s an intimacy between us that allows us to see and feel the slight changes in one another. It basically takes relationships to a whole other depth that is far richer than social niceties or politeness. All from walking and talking together.
Published with permission from my partner.
By Leigh Matson, London, UK
Related Reading:
Serge Benhayon and Walking Therapy – A profound healing experience
The simplicity of true intimacy
Seeking Connection and True Relationships
Words on Serge Benhayon 
When our movements match our Stillness that come from within our Inner-Most-Heart or Soul, then the Joy that is felt with every step opens us to the most amazing connections with others.
Walking side by side and in step with someone is very healing. The rhythm of the movement brings a closer connection with each other.
When we have potentially difficult and confronting meetings then there would be so much more flow if all parties involved went for a walk together and talked about what was coming up for them but currently this is too radical a suggestion for many and so what will continue to happen is that we will sit facing each other but often not looking at one another and talking but not listening and getting incredibly heated and het up because our bodies are configured in such a way that makes it harder for true reconciliation to take place.
I don’t get many opportunities to walk with others, but it’s recently been coming to me to walk around the block with my partner. I can see the expansion that can occur by walking and talking together, as the body in movement can offer its wisdom, instead of the emotionality and reactivity that can happen with the mind alone when stationary in sitting or standing.
The more I walk the more I realise how magical it is. If I am out of sorts it’s like my body reorders itself in a walk and I feel fresher and often receive insights and realisations which brings even more clarity. It’s important too the quality I’m in when walking, not pushing or driving the body to get somewhere, and not checked out, but present and aware of how I am stepping.
“We simply connected and walked together.” Moving in rhythm with another brings harmony.
I have experienced walking by someone on the street I have not known and there are no words but yet a harmony between us and the movement we are both in, it is a really beautifull feeling showing we are all sensitive and ultimately all one.
What a great exercise to take into schools, where every student learn to walk and talk with all the other student in there class!
” . . . even if it’s only a couple of meters, the movement appears to curtail the discussion that would otherwise go around in circles.” That is so true Leigh I made the same experience – it seems that our bodies if they were in movements or not are so much wiser as we think!
“When stationary, we can sometimes be in our minds planning what we are going to say next, or focussing on something the other person may have said.” – interesting how walking and talking takes you out of your head and back into your body and makes it harder to try to control or manipulate the conversation, and hence allows more honesty and true connection to come in.
We listen more rather than waiting to reply.
Waking and talking together is definitely a good technique for avoiding conflicts and arguments as it does seem more difficult to have a fight with someone when you are walking with them especially if you are holding hands.
Yes when we can stay present with ourselves and our movements a walk with another person can be very inspiring, uplifting and enlightening….a mutually evolutionary process.
I appreciate the relationships I’m stablishing these days in which honesty is key. Love don’t brush stuff aside and being able to speak about it. The empowerment, unity and equalness that I can feel after an evolving conversation like this is priceless because makes me see that, no matter how big is the issue, love is always greater than anything.
Having those types of conversations and relationships are absolute gold.
Walking in the way you described Leigh feels really supportive and confirming about all what we can share when we are open, not just to others, but with ourselves. Thank you
Walking seems to enhance the pondering process and makes space for clarity.
Julie, this is beautiful – and so true, when we go out for a walk where we allow the body to be, this does offer clarity as it is harder (so much harder) to hold onto issues and problems etc.
I agree – when we are connected with how the body feels in its movement it’s harder for thoughts or emotions to get us.
Our focus fills with being aware of how our body feels. There’s no space for errant thoughts.
That’s very key Fumiyo and Leigh, if we are present and aware we can discern how we are feeling and claim more space within us, to embody the love we really are, in every step. How empowering is that.
As an observation and someone in the past who had some relationship counselling, who benefits more; the two that can continue to attend and afford sessions or the counsellor? Where walking and talking usually put all the cards on the table in one go.
When we are rooted to the spot physically we are often stuck on the spot in the conversation or stuck on our point of view being right. So it makes sense to move and walk to break this up.
Have you ever noticed when doing something intense and you run into a problem, going for a short walk helps clear the mind!
It does, even if it’s a break away from the computer or in an intense phone call to walk around the living room in circles, it does help shake things up.
Yes I have noticed this Steve – it is not just with others that walking helps but if I am stuck in or on something on my own then going for a walk helps clear my mind and brings some perspective on the situation.
Yes, I have found this too. It is as if my body is stuck in the thought and when I walk it loosens up and there is space for another perspective, or two.
Thanks Leigh, I really needed to read this again, it’s so true that heated discussions can just go around in circles, the emotional nature of reaction can also bring in confusion. I find walking tends to re-organise everything in my body again especially if I am mixed up, and put everything back into some kind of order within me.
Walking or any focus on how I am moving helps bring everything back into order. Especially if that focus is on how warm my body is or how gentle I can be with my movements.
Have you ever noticed that if during a discussion and the other person crosses their arms and legs and shuts down? Walking and talking does not allow the body to hold back.
Or hands in pockets can alter the flow of what’s occurring between us as there’s a flow missing in the body when hands are in pockets. It can be noticeably felt.
It is a good point Steve, walking allows for an openness with the body and expression.
My daughter and I went out to explore a wood that we haven’t been to before. We discovered it was a beautiful wood as well as being a cash crop of Fir trees which is quite rare for the area we live in. There was also lots of clearings and in the clearings were scatterings of old trees Oaks, Birch, Sycamore. We had the most delightful walk and as we walked I could feel how we deepened our relationship. Nothing was said it was just a feeling of our trust in each other and the ease we have. It was a day to cherish knowing that there are many more such days to come.
I love this. When we are walking with all that we are, it is beautiful to be able to walk with another in the knowing that that is all that is needed.
It is amazing how even a few minutes or moments of walking can completely change the thoughts I am having so much so the grab and hook of them is no longer there. For me when I walk with myself, and simply be who I am them what is not me leaves and I do not need to resolve it in my head and so the spin which I could stay stuck in is gone and the love I am returns to take center stage.
It is amazing because it’s not like the hook even exists anymore. It’s simply not there even though moments before it felt like a grip you’d never get out of. Nothing is definite in the world of energy.
I agree Leigh, yet we can try in our minds to hold onto something. It is crazy as we have to constantly keep re-creating it – which is exhausting and stops us from moving on and forward.
“When there has been disagreement between you, it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.” It absolutley is. It comes down to a willingness to firstly have a walk together, and then to take the other persons hand, regardless of what has come between you. There is a real surrender in this, which then allows an opening up of honesty of what is being felt about what has taken place.
Yes, it requires a willingness on both sides to be open to moving out of whatever you’re holding onto that’s keeping you apart from the other person. Whatever the issue is to be of lesser value than being together.
I have had past experience with the old sit and talk about a problem counselling. The old expression of sitting with the issue is just that, there is no movement and stubbornness can cement the issue. Walking and talking, allow you space to express and loosens up our tongue.
Leigh, what you are sharing here is so simple but profound; ‘ I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk.’ I can feel how we can have this intention to connect in our day to day and what a difference this would make, rather than being caught up in the busyness and in trying to get things done as quickly as possible and feeling disconnected from people.
When 2 people walk together fully present enjoying each others company and expressing from their body it is very much felt and stands out, because most of the world do not walk together, fully connected, open and transparent.
Maybe talking while walking becomes a whole lot easier as our bodies are moving in a flow, and in that flow, it is very hard, or maybe even impossible, to hold back the words that are waiting to be expressed. When we sit and talk, we can get into all sorts of defensive positions which have the effect of masking how we are truly feeling and definitely not conducive to having a deep and meaningful conversation.
When sat down I find if I focus on the weight bearing parts (i.e.my bum, legs, feet etc.) it is easier to stay in my body and not in my mind. However when walking it’s so much easier in movement whereas when sat I find I have to keep more focused.
What I have also noticed if that we can be accustom to not allowing what we feel to be expressed. Such as if I initiate a walk and the other frequently stops to talk. How we are moving and what we are saying are not separate and I am learning more that how I/others move can be more honest than what we say.
When we walk and talk, but then slow down or stop, is this a dip in our expression where are holding on to something we don’t want to let go of, or deal with?
There is something about walking that frees us up and dislodges whatever mood or movement we’ve been stuck in- but it’s an active choice to not walk around in the energy of our issues and so cement them in the process. The moment we walk with the intention to just focus on one area of our body and connect to how that feels, things shift.
Imagine if this was taught on a global scale? how many issues would escalate if at all if we changed how we walked?
Rereading your blog makes me want to get walking ASAP! I agree that we do not appreciate the science of walking and talking enough – we’ve all experienced an unresolvable situation and I’ve found that what can continue for days unresolved can actually be resolved in a simple 5 minute walk. If we applied this to life it would be revolutionary…
It’s all about movement and the more we master this the easier it is to get out of situation that are tensed or ask us to let go of something. For instance if we are frustrated we often don’t want to let it go but movement can support us to let go more simply.
Say I am walking and thinking about a problem I’ve experienced then if I change how I walk I can’t hold onto thinking about the problem.
Exactly I noticed that too, and if we want to we have to put loads of effort in it to re-create it because it is gone when we move in a different way.
This is so true, you really can feel a shift that takes place when we walk and talk on any situation. All we need is a willingness to listen, to share and to reflect our own part in the relationship, oh and be willing to learn.
Being willing to learn is crucial otherwise the relationship goes no where.
“In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly.” I agree. It is extremely lovely to experience how much joy there is when we walk and talk in this way.
Sometimes all that one needs to do is walk, and absolute magic ensues.
It’s hard to imagine in this world of 24/7 gyms, chocolate yoga, Boot Camp fitness intensives, and mass marathons, that simply walking together, is what we are innately meant to be doing
However when felt into the energy of everything on offer walking together makes the most sense.
So true the power and simplicity of walking together is overlooked, in favour of pushing our body to extremes and thinking this is what our body wants, when a simple walk together with another can be not only what is needed but can be super healing.
I am finding more and more that it is very much a choice to stay in our issues as it is a choice to move out of them back to love together. It is easy to move on from the issue when you don’t choose to hold onto it
The beauty of walking and talking is the overall message no matter what we walk together.
It’s interesting what you present here about how the movement of walking can shift something with another that otherwise you could easily stay stuck in whilst sitting. The willingness and the intention to deepen our relationships is no doubt key.
Definitely and that intention comes from being with myself first rather than an expectation or judgement, otherwise if I am not willing to deepen then that tells another also to stay where they are at. We can walk all we like but it won’t change anything.
I find this too. That walking alone doesn’t feel lonely when compared to walking with another. Walking with myself is not less just different.
‘I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk.’ How true this is in our lives, too: when our intention is to connect and stay open, our bodies open up and our whole way of moving shifts. Life starts to feels full and alive with purpose, possibilities and potential, and the richness and fullness to life and our relationships feels much more obvious.
And if we don’t actively choose to move with connection then we choose everything that isn’t that connection.
It’s a really good point Leigh about how discussions can go in circles when seated or not moving, I’ve experienced that myself. I liked your line too about the walk you did with someone you didn’t know yet the connection was instantly there, this has reminded me of how the same connection can be there with people I meet everyday.
It is so simple, isn’t it… Walking and talking, connecting, communicating, constellating… And yet this is the way of the universe… within simplicity we have the divine unfolding
A great article Leigh, when walking and talking together energy is moving as we walk instead of a face to face discussion where the energy in those situations feels like it just goes around and around. Holding hands along the way can bring us back to the warmth of our hearts and out of our heads.
And even if we can’t walk and talk being aware of our own body while talking changes the energy of the conversation. For example, often if I feel I am saying something in judgement my head feels tingly and I stop talking or reasses what I’ve just said.
When we walk we use our whole body so it is a great way to get our of our heads and reconnect with our body.
Often when you are mad with someone the best thing to do is do what you really don’t want to do – like give them a hug. Again, this is making about the body and connection and bringing the fight out of the mind, which is the only place it really exists anyway.
Very true the fight is in the mind and not the body. But when our mind is focused on the body theres no fight in the mind either. So then if we can have separation in the mind where is our focus? On the body, in the moment or in non physical pictures that come into our ‘headspace’?
Walking and talking together can be very harm-full if we are talking in a way that is embeddening the hurt deeper into our movements. At the same time it can be extremely power-full but it all depends on our openness and willingness to drop our guard, our issues and be open to seeing truth on a deeper level.
And walking and talking about surface level stuff, talking from that guard that keeps each other at a surface level of “We’ll talk about this stuff and hobbies/interested/mutual commonalities BUT I won’t let you see my sweetness or delicateness” – which is basically as you say embedding hurts but it’s not seen that way.
Walking and talking with someone allows a lot more space for each other and allows each person to stay with themselves instead of becoming intensely involved in the discussion or other person. It just seems like a more natural way to talk to resolve issues or work through something that feels stuck.
When one of us is with ourselves it helps the other do the same and vice versa.
Walking and talking together really is the path to deepen true relationships with each other.
If I am disconnected from myself going for a walk with myself helps return and deepen that inner relationship.
This is brilliant because we can hold onto things for days – if not weeks – sometimes even years. What if when conflict comes up we just need to move or walk together to help shift things? I think your point about it’s hard to stay mad at someone when you feel the warmth of their hand is also crucial – I find that whenever I am distracted or angry at someone I lose sight of the amazing person they truly are – so if I remind myself of that the anger is quite quickly dissipated.
Even having gentle contact with another can settle any conflict. I had a disagreement with my Dad recently and my Mum made us sit on the same step on the stairs together. It wasn’t long before we ended up hugging each other and everything went back to our normal.
Recently during the Walking Therapy Serge Benhayon is offering I got to feel the intimacy and power of walking next to someone without holding hands and it was quite amazing to feel how when you both walk connected to your body, in your authority, there is even more intimacy between the two walking next to each other than when we were holding hands.
Is it actually possible to get mad at someone when you are holding their hand…?
Spot on Leigh – if we keep moving we can’t get stuck in our heads, and besides God has a way of distracting our attention with a bird here, a rainbow there… perhaps a sunrise or a rainbow or just the rain on our faces. The conversation can’t help but keep flowing and not get stuck as so often is the case when going ‘head to head’
That’s a good point that there’s these reminders from God to not stay in our head. But do we pay attention or ignore whats going on around us?
Walking, talking and sharing in depth your deepest feelings is such a beautiful way to develop a relationship and a solid foundational practise to return to to keep deepening and expanding.
You are spot on that the intention to connect or not makes all the difference to what happens when we walk with someone. If you see someone as a stranger, then you will fall into small talk and see them as separate from you.
And if you see them as another person it’s amazing how ‘strangers’ or myself open to each other.
Although it feels natural to me, being close and intimate, holding hands or body close is not the normal for many, it feels too intimidating and naked.
To be intimate to someone is not as straightforward and direct at times, it requires a lot of patience and understanding, sensitivity and acceptance. And yet everyone is intimate in their own way, we just have to be aware.
When we walk together we have the opportunity to imprint together our connection to the love we are and what it is to magnify the quality of love through our togetherness.
I didn’t even know there is such as thing as walking and talking therapy… But I can for sure see how the movement of walking can help us with being more connected with our whole body and less ‘stuck’ in our issues, so long as willing are willing to be more aware of our body!
Being aware of our body is key otherwise we just walk around with our issues circling in our thoughts going nowhere but around and around.
I really like the sound of this walking and talking therapy Leigh as I know when I sit and wallow with something I can sometimes be really stubborn and not want to let it go, but when I go for a walk it somehow always helps to clear it.
Quite a few times I’ve gone out for a walk and called a friend or my mum and we unpick the issue or matter at hand. It’s so much more supportive than sitting and stewing on things.
I have a meeting with a friend coming up soon and usually we go and have a cuppa and sit and talk, this time we are walking first, it will be interesting to note the difference.
I have heard of office places which are basing their discussions on this understanding. Sometimes going for a walk together instead of staying in a meeting room. Feels important to bring it back to the body and our connection with each other.
It’s hard to fall asleep or ignore the other people around you while walking!
Thank you for the heavenly reminder of the simplicity of ‘simply connecting’ with another, especially without knowing what is going to come next.
Those are the best walks when there is no outcome needed nor expected, same goes for social interactions with others.
This reminds me of how awesome it is to start a conversation with someone who we don’t know or are acquaintances with, and have an open chat about anything. I love to ask people what they do for a job and what they observe in their profession or life as every person has a whole bank of lessons they’ve learnt and it’s inspiring to hear them.
Being open and speaking to those we don’t know does feel lovely. The whole ‘stranger danger’ thing doesn’t add our ability to feel into the equation. Because we can feel who is and isn’t safe to talk to.
To feel the warmth in our own palms as well, or any part of our body really, it’s very hard to stay mad (or any other emotion/ill feelings) at ourselves.
How many relationships would actually work through their ‘issues’ if they did walk and talk. I notice things can go round in circles and spiral downwards when sitting down, as opposed to feeling more detached and open to listening when I am walking.
If a friend/anyone phones me up and has an issue or wants some advice very often I will get up and walk around the flat. I find it so much easier to be present with myself and with them, there is less going into the issue with them or constructing what I might say next happening. This feels so much lighter and closer between us than the spiral that cements them and me into the heaviness of the issue.
There is so much power to be felt when just walking, connect, being present and walking is an opportunity to open up and connect to the all the wisdom that is on offer from the universe.
There is so much power in simplicity that we dismiss and our movements that we take for granted.
I find that there seems to be a lot more space when it comes to talking while walking with another. I also feel our conversations are more worldly, even if we are talking about ourselves or our relationship, it incorporates more than just us.
Even if walking in circles with another conversations can expand in all sorts of ways.
When the intention is to be open with another then we allow the magic of God to be there with us. Most of us have disconnected from God and so therefore have disconnected to the magic that it all around us, just waiting for us all to reconnect.
We disconnect from God, from the magic and thus to others and at the core from ourselves. Rather than blaming another for relationship dynamics could we ask ourselves “Where did I allow this dynamic to be here?” because if we are not present in the relationship something else will fill that void.
As you say Leigh, often we sit and discuss to work things out, but to walk with another, with the intention to simply be open and connect, this in itself begins to break down the barriers between the two and the protection shields many of us live in to protect our hurts and from being hurt. Yet walking with another like this is very holding and naturally loving. So we can come out with another so to speak. Beautiful sharing in the beauty of walking and talking, makes a lot of sense.
The intention to be open and connect is so very crucial to the quality of the outcome in whatever we do even in work. What we may end up doing may be the same but the quality is completely contrasting.
True and even when we do the same thing day in and day out, seemingly monotonous it’s not when our quality and intention is brought to the fore of our attention.
We can not live insular. We need to connect and evolve and this goes not just by staying individual but actually by letting yourself out and letting others in your heart.
Well we can but it has many consequences far greater than the thoughts that support being insular would have us believe nor allow us to be aware of.
Things that seem really difficult can be addressed very easily when we go for a walk with another, so long as we stay connected with ourselves and walk our essence and not our problem.
We even have sayings such as “walk it off” in the English language that hints to that our ‘stuff’ can be walked away from. In connection to our essence we transmute it and it falls away, in disconnection we bury it for it to return later on.
Yes Leigh, walking in anger or frustration is no different to pounding the pavement or eating a whole tub of ice-cream. It’s all movement that magnifies how we are feeling.
If anything pounding the pavement with our feet leads us straight to the freezer. That ‘I just want to go home and hide away from the world’ walk after a crazy day out in life further goes onto more behaviours that ill affect us.
It is just such a very natural thing to do, walking and talking we can solve the problems of the world by doing so.
Having experienced some Walking Therapy sessions with Serge Benhayon I am much more aware now of the way that I walk so that when I go for walks with others I can bring more presence, purpose and harmony to our time together..
Yes the quality we are talking in can give away the quality of the conversation when we pay attention to this.
We have many movements to stop abuse or political decisions we don’t like, but have never had one that proposed that the way we move is where all our attention belongs. Until Universal Medicine came along…
Many movements but what is the quality behind them? The quality of each persons movements in that bigger group/movement. That’s another thing Universal Medicine has brought into the picture.
This is so true – palm to palm is like walking heart to heart with an openess and beautiful rhythm of simply sharing and walking together – this is deeply healing.
“it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them”.
I love my morning walks with my husband – this is our time to debrief, to talk about our plans, to discuss how we are feeling, the dreams we had in the night and what they might mean for us… So much to explore and so much to appreciate. And then there are those times we just walk in silence enjoying the sound of our feet on the ground, the warmth of the hand held tenderly, a knowing that we walk the path of life and are here to support each other, and work together.
Walking can be very powerful in shifting energy and disagreements. It is such a simple and straightforwards way to really let go and allow honesty and then truth to unfold.
Recently our walking talks had been dropped and much tension came between us. Soon as we went for a walk and talk together all that tension vanished. It’s so important in any relationship to maintain what works to bring honestly and clarity.
I love this Leigh and I love walking, there is something so powerful when two people walk strong and connected to who they are. Walking can be so super healing for not just us but for our environment and all those around us.
There is a huge difference once felt in walking connected to another or ourselves vs in a bubble with headphones on or screen surfing. It does stand out and that is needed in the world.
‘The difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body.’ That is so true, just by the experience itself. By sitting the possibility to check-out and go into thought i.e.planning, daydreaming is huge. Whilst walking, there is this whole coordination of feet, legs, arms etc. going on. There is litterally no space to go into our head, but it requires to stay in our whole body. And just by that movement what ever is expressed, will come from the body. Great blog with a huge invitation for us all to walk more together!
We may already walk with people in our lives but how many times do we actually walk WITH them? not walking with our thoughts of “gotta do this… when I get there I’ll…I wish they didn’t do…..” etc.
Walking and talking strikes me as a beautiful thing to do on a date because there is nothing more beautiful than opening up to someone and sharing ourselves.
We weren’t distracted (although tried) by the activities that ‘should happen’ on dates (restaurants, parties, movies etc) but instead spent time with each other.
Every step we walk is magnifying and circulating the energy within us. So if we are in joy and have fun while we walk this is what our body gets fueled with.
So true Adele and it is empowering to feel the responsibility of what it is we are willing to magnify as we then cannot deny the power we hold to light up the world with the love we are.
Walking is a great way to come back to a quality of presence after lots of mental stimulation. I find it really rebalancing, so to be able to walk and talk with other is a great way to either deepen a connection with another, or solve any problems and issues.
I love walking too! Whenever I feel stuck in any way, I feel to walk to bring back flow and connection, it always clear my mind as my presence and connection with my body deepens.
Same and if in a train of thoughts all I have to do is change how I walk to get off those tracks.
In my experience, when you are already at loggerheads and can’t see eye to eye, sitting and talking doesn’t really work. It feels stuck and like hard work in my body. Whereas when I walk with someone, I stay more present with me than the issue. I allow myself and the other person space to speak and I don’t feel so attached to resolving it. Somehow in the space I can feel it will be resolved without me needing to try or become intense about it.
It’s like when we are attached to the issue being solved we get in the way of allowing space for the issue to dissipate on its own. Like constantly keeping bandages on a wound without giving it air to breathe and heal.
How often do we do this ‘Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere’ yet I can see just how important this truly is.
Indeed perhaps we have devalued the importance of the quality of our movements and especially those movements made in a quality of openness and tenderness.
From ancient days on, walking has been known to be incredibly beneficial for humanity… Here is just another aspect of this extraordinary process that is part of our everyday life.
There is something about walking and talking – it brings things beyond just the head and the mind and allows a space for very different and often expansive communication.
Yes, a whole body awareness is communicated, a movement that confirms a deep innermost knowing.
I too attended a similar presentation with Serge Benhayon, and walking hand in hand then with arms around someone I hardly knew, was the most profound experience. It didn’t take too long to feel an intimate connection with them; in fact it felt like we had known each other for ever. The conversation was so easy, there was no holding back by either of us and both of us wanted to keep walking even when it was time to stop. This was one huge and incredibly valuable life lesson that I have not forgotten and have brought into my everyday life.
Great point about intention and how this sets the tone for whatever activity comes next: when we make whatever we’re doing about connection, and openness – i.e. staying connected and open ourselves, without any demands on others to reciprocate, so often it opens the way for others to be that way with us, naturally so. Not needing others to be a certain way for us allows space for true, real connection with others – and not the emotional nicey-nice substitute we sometimes crave if we’re not being honest and connected to ourselves, first.
What a lovely way to start dating and to get to know each other, simply by walking together and sharing feelings. It’s like bringing dating back to basics, avoiding the distractions in pubs and clubs, the normal go to places, and just being real with each other from the start which then creates a solid foundation for your relationship. Inspiring Leigh!
Walking does engage the body and when walking with another particularly when there is body contact holds me steady, connected and aware of what is true as it unfolds. In the past the weight of being told that we must be looking someone in the eye when we speak for anything that is said to carry any weight has been and is proven to be untrue. Walking and talking with the focus on connecting is a very beautiful activity to be involved in.
I saw someone having a walk with one of their team members the other day. They have started ‘walking meetings’ and when I watched them walking, it was great to see how by their movements they were very easily engaging with one another and brought a purpose to their walk – not just going from A to B. Of course – the meeting went really well and I had to appreciate the huge support that comes with this – it was truly a relationship development point.
Thats cool and it makes such a difference when the focus is on us rather than ‘over there’ at B the quality is completely different from focusing on B.
I have also shared some beautiful walking, talking experiences, especially out walking in the forest or in the beautiful nature our planet has to offer. It puts you in a relaxed state to be able to let the conversation flow.
The greatest beauty in this world is walking and talking with you. So often we engage in life without checking in if all of us is participating or withdrawing. Rather than bringing just bits of us to life let’s connect with our body and our love – then we know whatever we do, it will be beautiful and true.
When we walk with another we fall into a natural rhythm with each other, and there is a feeling of oneness, and as we talk and walk we cannot help but support each other during the conversation because we are literally walking as one.
Leigh, I love what you have shared here – “it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.” … and I agree, to hold someone’s hand certainly supports in bringing you back instantly to your natural tender self.
Walking can certainly be a beautiful therapy – when done in presence and joy, it can be very powerful in reminding us of the beauty that lies within us and which comes out so easily with no impositions. Walking can be a very healing therapy too when done with an awareness of the challenges one is currently facing, and so with each step we ‘step into’ our own strengths whilst exploring what is seemingly weighing us down. However, if we do not walk with this awareness and walk with the heaviness and the problems then the walking can make our body more heavy and this does not support. So with simple awareness, we can transform a simple walk into something far more powerful and healing than we ever realised was possible!
Absolutley Henrietta. And when we walk alongside someone in this way it also inspires them to join us in that same walk and so the union of the two of us together become super powerful and deeply healing.
I totally agree Henrietta, walking can be a very healing therapy when done with intention, however if we walk in heaviness, anger or any negative energy we are just reinforcing this with every footstep taken, so for walking to truly support us, it must be done with awareness.
Without awareness I never really maximised the great benefits of walking apart from feeling good being in the fresh air and exercising. With awareness the support and healing that can come from walking is fantastic.
Simply going for a walk without any other agenda is a wonderful way of connecting with another and without any other distraction has the opportunity to deepen our relationships and if there is something we want to talk about it will often be revealed while walking. Some of the loveliest and most intimate times I have spent with another have been when walking together.
With no focus on getting somewhere or doing something we get to be together, beautiful.
Walking and talking is one of the quickest ways to clear the air with someone, or get clarity or a subject – it makes sense – we’re moving so it’s easier to move whatever is holding us back.
Well said Meg, and sometimes when I am on the phone with a matter that may seem complicated or heated in any way, I simply get up and walk around whilst talking – thankfully we can do that these days with cordless and mobile phones! 😉
That’s a very interesting point – it could explain why so many people walk up and down when they are on the phone, it’s way of dissipating the intensity of the conversation and not getting stuck or bogged down by it.
Beautifully said Meg as what you shared makes total sense.
I am just beginning to understand how much we can learn from walking and talking and sometimes simply walking… the way our bodies move in relationship with someone else… there is so much to read and feel.
I feel a massive difference from standing and sitting still to going for a walk if I am confused or agitated about something or worried. When I sit it feels like I’m just sitting in it, the energy and emotion that I’ve already allowed to slip in, and I can become quite mental. Whereas when I get up and go for a walk, even if it is just down the stairs to put some washing on, my whole outlook and feeling can change. It feels like I come back to the bigger picture of what is going on, and so many times I see how insignificant and small my problem or issue is.
And it’s the energy you walk in, go down the stairs or put the washing on in that changes your relationship with the problem. Imagine what this could to for psychology.
“I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk.” when you think of the number of opportunities to connect to another person during our day, anywhere from the person on the phone taking your card details to pay a utility bill to the neighbour stopping for a chat or the work colleague asking for some help, we have so many instances where connection can become the norm irrespective of the seeming reason for being with that person.
I have found it very interesting how it is possible to have quite difficult discussions resolve themselves when we walk and talk. It seems to often work better than sitting and talking.
Same here. These days I tend to wait to talk about things I find uncomfortable/issue over a walk. Instead of “we need to talk” in a serious tone it can be “let’s go for a walk and talk”.
Walking together with an openness to connect is a beautiful way to develop intimacy between us. Intimacy is something that we as a society need to develop between us, to heal the protection we put up with one another. As when we begin to let our self-created guards down we realise that we are all really one and the same and the quality of love that can be connected to is deeply settling and heart-warming.
I agree Carola, and I’ve noticed that we are all missing connection so much, that the connection to another is a very settling thing for them to feel,– and when I’m not connecting to the other person it feels very dismissive and horribly uncomfortable (just as it feels hurtful to not be connected to).
It knocks out any belief or ideal that we are closer or ‘should’ be closer to our blood family when we can feel super connected to a stranger we have just met and feel as though we have known them forever.
I find it fascinating to watch couples (or two people) walking together as so much is revealed in the way they walk… is one in front or behind the other, are they protecting themselves – holding each other out… or are they in rhythm together open and connected… so much can be read by observing our movements.
I also enjoy watching people walk together and eventually (if they allow it) they walk in sync with each other. It feels lovely to witness.
If we are open to seeing this, there is so much to learn from how we are when we walk with others.
When we walk and talk together we come to a rhythm in our walk, in our movements, that is unifying and harmonious.
So true Paula, I have experienced walking with a person, on more than one occasion, where I felt I barely knew the person at the beginning of the walk, yet through our rhythm falling into sync as we began to walk a feeling of oneness and harmony developed, allowing full and open expression and a deep feeling of unity.
Deeply inspiring blog Leigh, and very practical in how to resolve ‘the small stuff’ that gets in the way sometimes ( well, we are human), in all our relationships whether at work, friends and of course family. And if in any doubt, just have to give it a try, walk and talk and see what happens!
“Although walking alone may provide an opportunity to focus on our personal issues, being in company with another to discuss them offers solutions to problems we may not have considered.”
wow.your growth,both as an individual and as a couple is summed up in this thought.
Our willingness to be open to others brings a whole new depth to our relationship with ourselves, I agree. And this is a cycle that supports and inspires the next step.
“We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.”
The more that people live this, the more we will realise this a living truth and will start to adjust our behaviours accordingly.
Walking our talk and talking while walking are so intransigently intertwined that our hips should almost be joined so we are able to feel how much we are truly connected. So the way we move is propelling us to deepen our relationship with the divine within if we so choose.
The way we move our bodies has profound consequences.
Walking and talking is the best therapy . . . forget counselling just go for a walk with whoever you need to work something out with.
‘I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly.’ First day at new job and I went for a 30 minute walk with my 2 office colleagues at lunch time – a beautiful way to connect, moving together.
It would be so supportive when there is office tension to go for a walk together, to step away and see the people we work with as who they are.
There is such an honesty and understanding that comes from walking and talking together… a rhythm and flow in our movements that supports harmonious connections.
Given it is such a simple thing to walk and talk together what are we resisting when we do not do it? I would say it’s evolution.
“Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere has been supported by my willingness to be present with myself” – this is so simply beautiful Leigh. Yes, when there is no need there is the space of understanding and there’s nothing more refreshing than this, including to walk that understanding.
I know for myself I have resisted the simplicity of a walk together sometimes. Not necessarily by not going, but by not expressing myself in full during it. Walking together talking in an open and honest way is very, very powerful and something we avoid when we do not want to be responsible and in our true power.
Yes, it takes a bit of practice and experience.
I can see how if we move/ walk with the intention to be open, honest and in connection with another it can give us a foundation that can help us to work through any issue that may be there, because we have that whole body movement of openness, honesty and connection to bring ourselves back to as we talk and discuss things rather than just coming from our head so to speak…
When we walk and talk with someone, magic happens. A connection is felt, there is a release of tension and it is almost impossible to stay angry or emotional with the other person.
Some of the most amazing moments and times that I’ve had with and in my relationships with people are where we walk and be love, talk and be love and simply are the love that we are and in that we share together what is really going on and our relationship deepens greatly.
Walking together seems to bring everything back to a basic point, where whatever is unsettled can be resolved because it – the unsettlement – is not more important than you.
When we walk and talk together it feels easy to step out of the little things and into the depth and breadth of life.
I know that when I’m sat down it’s like the anger or sadness or frustration gets trapped in the conversation, where as when I walk and talk with someone, there is more space and focus to be able to work through an issue.
Could it be when we connect to our essence and walk and talk that our divine particles all connect to the Love of our Soul so we are able to reflect and share a level of love that is amazing?
“Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere” – I so love this. It is very beautiful to learn to appreciate having no agenda, no picture but building and knowing the quality of what is to come because of the way I am.
Walking alone every day has built my relationship with myself and this I treasure. Bringing this same care and reverence to walking with others is the obvious next step and whilst I often feel out of my comfort zone doing this, I am committed to going for it and learning along the way.
There is beauty in being together. There is beauty in walking together. There is beauty in talking together. Put all 3 together and we have a powerful depth of beauty.
Walking whilst talking purpose is walking whilst talking from the understanding of who exactly we are.
When we walk and talk together it is impossible to get bogged down for long in petty things.
I find just thinking about issues seems to escalate it into something quite stressful, as the activity of thinking alone takes me up and away from my whole body and the settled feeling I have from being connected to the whole of me. When I am more connected to my whole body I have a different and more supportive way of dealing with things, there is often a knowing and trust found within myself as to the way forward. When I’m in the mind alone it tends to go around in circles with escalating levels of stress. Being connected to my whole body has certainly been very key for me in approaching life in a more loving and supportive way.
It’s interesting how we can be around hundreds of people but never stop and realise we can walk with them. We don’t have to be touching or speak but just truly connect as we step forward. If we started to live this way I think we’d realise we actually already know we’re always walking with 7 billion plus others everywhere that we go.
Great sharing, paticularly ‘The intention to connect and be open with a person that makes the difference during the walk.’ It is all about this intention. Then it doesn’t matter if you know the other well or not. So it is really a matter of choice coming from us to truly connect to each person we meet. And if we then can walk together, the connection includes our bodies as well!
Yes walking and talking is therapeutic and being in nature is in itself great for our bodies in reducing stress.
There is a grace in movement made with connection with ourselves, which flows on to others if they so choose.
Going for a walk with someone is a real invitation to connect. The old fashioned way – without a screen between.
Yes and it is side by side which is always a winning combination of not feeling confrontational.
“It’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them”. This is so true and a great example of the power of movement.
I am very aware of how much effort has to be put into staying mad with someone, when our natural relationships with each other are warm, open and respectful, at the very least.
We are taught many things in our life and up until the presentations by Serge Benhayon no one taught us how to walk and the energy that we walk in. This is a therapy that is life changing and should be openly shared so that when we walk with an appreciation of what our body is connected to then we get an understanding of what true movement brings.
The quality in which we move is equal to the quality of our communication.
“Although walking alone may provide an opportunity to focus on our personal issues, being in company with another to discuss them offers solutions to problems we may not have considered.” So true Leigh. As the old saying goes, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved.’
And even without the walking I find opening up to another something I find challenging it helps dissolve the problem.
Taking the time to walk and talk to another with no needs or expectations is very beautiful and expanding allowing a harmony and flow to grow and expand the universe with a realisation and appreciation of this presented here so simply.
‘When there has been disagreement between you, it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.’ Gorgeous, and so true Leigh.
Walking and talking together is unifying… bringing an innate harmony, rhythm and flow to our lives.
In real life, when one does not know another one, there is, by-and-large an avoidance of walking together. Instead, we choose to walk a bit ahead or behind. Why is this so? Because when you walk alongside another one, there is something that happens at the particle levels. We lose individuality. This is also the reason why it is so powerful and so beautiful.
Yes, walking side by side you become to feel like you are walking as one. It is such a beautiful feeling.
I see that in the street, when two people walk together they step at the same time, it’s really cool. And being in that with another feels lovely.
So true Eduardo. Wouldn’t it be interesting to walk along side someone we dont know next time we are out walking, and see what happens?!
A beautiful sharing Leigh on how when we walk and talk with another with the intention to connect and honestly share ourselves so much healing and understanding can take place as movement releases the held energy.
It’s the intention that sets all the motion thereafter to be what it is. If unaware of what you do beforehand and get surprised when your expectations aren’t met, then what was our intention beforehand?
No complication or barriers, there is a real beauty to walking alongside someone not just the symbolic equalness of it, but also the always moving that prevents rigid opinion of stubbornness.
Walking things out together would be far more effective conflict management than sitting in the issue with another.
Thank you Leigh, it’s interesting how much can get resolved when walking and talking, there is even a saying to “walk it out” which refers to what you have shared, to walk as a way of processing something, getting clearer on it, and resolving it so it’s no longer in the body as a disturbance.
Walking with people is one of my favourite ways to talk, connect and share. I find the conversation doesn’t get stuck, as it keeps growing and doesn’t get into right or wrong so easily. I get to enjoy feeling my body moving and staying with me while I connect with the other person/people and the greater world around us. It seems the presence, ease and fluidity of my/our movements sets the tone for the fluidity of conversation and connection.
This is really beautiful Leigh, thank you. A great reminder of how important connection is, first to ourselves and our bodies and then to each other. And how really there are no issues that can’t be resolved if we have the willingness to go there. And just how simple and effective (and underrated!) walking, moving and talking (expressing) can be to release the mental energy that we so often get stuck in. And we can choose this in any moment throughout our day.
I love walking and talking as there is a lightness about it, and from my experience when there is something weighing heavy on me it makes it easier to go for a walk and to talk it through.
There is a grace that comes when we walk and talk together… the key being together rather than as two separate individuals going the same way.
Walking in connection can indeed be a deeply profound healing experience. There are many a time when I have felt disconnected either with myself or with another and then by choosing to walk I have been able to come back to me, my connection with my body and to those around me. The movement of walking offers space in the body to let go of a held tension – it really is so simple.
And so it is the same when we walk with another, our walking movements allow any tension between us to be let go of too.
When we have the opportunity to move together, that what we are offered is togetherness. So often we move in our separate ways next to each other. Moving together offers a great healing.
Walking is a beautiful way to connect. When we choose to be with the other and simply walk with ourselves by the side of another, it’s rather lovely.
The practicality of walking and talking makes complete sense. The movement of our body allows for any issue we are holding to move as we walk. We literally cannot remain the same or hold onto the same stance.
We often know to walk something off, to take some time and let the movement of walking help us working things out. I know for me a walk is a great time to think things over and work things out and the same goes for talking with people – it doesn’t even need to be about working through an issue, going for a walk is a great opportunity to catch up and reconnect.
The movement of two bodies walking together is beautiful as, at some point along the walk, this settled rhythm and movement you feel you are walking as one.
It is interesting how in many latin and European countries there is a tradition of walking the town square after a meal or occasion. Where all parts of the community congregate and walk. We may miss this opportunity in our local neighbourhoods where we our retreat inside our house at night.
This is spot on Leigh – “I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body. When stationary, we can sometimes be in our minds planning what we are going to say next, or focussing on something the other person may have said.” – walking moves the body and in the movement it is harder to hold onto things that are not true or that do not come from the full body response.
It is pretty cool actually to feel how quickly things can shift when one walks and talks with another and allows things to shift as compared to sitting down and talking about things. With the walking there is a definite shift that happens faster, as if it is harder to hold onto negative thoughts or say negative things, and instead there is a freeing up that happens and what might have appeared like a mountain, now seems like a small hill. Amazing and simple magic.
Grudges or negative emotions want us to believe they are heavy and hard to remove but really they aren’t. I was in a funk the other day and my flat mate encouraged me to blow a raspberry-instantly I lightened up and laughed at the silliness.
Walking with someone offers loads! Space to talk about great things, space to talk about things between the two, space to talk about the world, and space to just walk together. Its a fantastic way to be together.
Walking and talking is such a great way to move through things that are coming up or have come up. I find it all too easy to get entrenched in conversations when sat around which can easily go around in circles yet somehow when walking what comes up seems to get cleared much more quickly without the repetitive way it could easily have done without the assistance of the walking.
There is nothing more therapeutic i find than walking and talking in the quality of seeking understanding.
Walking and walking is so lovely, especially when we talk about the connection of our day and express it in full. The expression supports the physical movement.
The most healing types of conversation when walking and talking are those that raise us up and not those that indulge.
The quality of our walk is the quality we rest, move and express in our day, when that’s a loving way the walk is a healing activity.
There is something very loving about two people walking together.
When we walk the talk we are like the Olympic torch runner, we are exposing our fire to everyone ,wherever we go.
Movement can be so very healing if we choose to move in a loving and honouring way.
When we walk and talk together we feel the unifying harmony of brotherhood – something we innately know, which brings us great joy.
‘But I can walk alongside many people during my day so what made this different? I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk.’ – I love what you have shared here and the simplicity of why it was different. There’s no magic formula, simply an intention to connect and be open i.e. let the other person in. In our day to day life we are often busy protecting ourselves and keeping people out rather than letting them in.
Having just attended a walking therapies session with Serge Benhayon I appreciate at a new level the power in every step, because we have the potential to move in a way that is aligned with the soul. Walking together with another can therefore be a very evolving experience.
I loved this too, Janet and with the understanding that if we remain connected to ourselves and the other feels a little down, by the very fact of walking in connection to self will allow the other the opportunity to come up and be themselves also.
To appreciate quite how powerful we are without any words needed just by claiming our movements is worth considering and contemplating. So often we can think we need to find the right words but these can just complicate what is before us whereas when we simply make it about energy and quality then everything else gets taken care of.
” And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk. ”
The great thing about this is the desire for truth and truth resolves everything.
Truth does resolve everything, the moment I catch myself saying that does not matter or it will be ok I know I am settling for less than the love that I am. I then walk away feeling a sense of unresolved expression rather than if I had done what I felt to do, the moment would have completed and I would be fully free to move onto the next moment.
‘ In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly. ‘ Yes , Leigh . walking and sharing together is a beautiful confirmation of our developing brotherhood.
The simplicity of walking together with another is very joyful allowing one another to connect more deeply with the movement of our bodes and the flow of the universe and is very expansive and confirming of the love we are .
It’s interesting that the movement of our feet, allows our mouths to express. This is all about connective tissue in our bodies that connects everything in our body, and our expression connects us with everyone.
Very true Steve – a great example that everything affects everything.
It’s not just walking and talking that is the key to experiencing this amazing ease and deepening you describe Leigh, but most crucially the way we walk and move together which must be with openness and no protection for there to be none or very little in the conversation.
Yes, we can still walk together with our guards up, thats why the focus on the body or the heat in our hands is important.
I have a very dear friend who lives across the other side of the world and we stay in regular contact, I cannot walk with them, but I know I am held in the most precious loving energy and I know it’s the same loving energy that I missed as a child. They are my inspiration because deep within me I’m starting to feel that I have the same love for myself, have I just been depriving myself of this birthright for some reason?
Sometimes I go for a walk with a person while on the phone to them. Or in general if on the phone to another I often walk around the room in circles. I find the conversation is less sticky when I do this and we can move together regardless of the distance.
I love this Leigh. I was walking while on the phone to a friend recently and we had the most lovely and purposeful conversation. And although I dont walk around the room when Im at home talking to someone I do find myself moving around quite a lot as now you come to mention it, Ive realised it does keep the conversation flowing more harmoniously because I am moving and can feel things shifiting in me.
I often do the same, I find it has a lightening affect on the conversation and brings more clarity.
Our way of staying stuck in the chair, of grilling another without a care, shows the power of movements in our lives. For as soon as we get up and out of the fixed position we’re in energy can change, move and transmute. This is great wisdom to live by Leigh – thank you for inspiring me.
Being open in our relationships with everyone is a sure way to break down and through all the games, hurts, patterns and beliefs we have adopted to protect ourselves from past hurts… every moment is an opportunity for a fresh start, ours to maximise.
A distinct difference to playing games with each other, busy not letting anyone see behind our facade.
I find taking a walk with someone a beautiful way to connect and spend time together.
It is beautiful that when we have a true experience of something, like you with walking and talking together, that whatever everybody else is doing or whatever the newest research is saying, we know what is true in our bodies and what works and what doesn’t work.
Moving with another and feeling that same essence and inner connection is a beautiful union of inner hearts.
The beauty of walking and talking with another and others in flowing movements is very dear to my heart, loving this as part of my life and my deep appreciation of this is confirmed here lovingly.
‘We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.’ – This is important to know, most people seem to live from an understanding that what they do only affects themselves, I know in the past that certainly was my own view of it.
Aye, sometimes we can live as if we are in a black hole, separate from everyone else but thats a lie. We do affect everyone around us with what’s going on internally.
Perhaps the future of a boardroom meeting is to meet, present, propose then walk discuss and evaluate.
There is something so intrinsically different about sitting and talking an issue through with someone and “walking and talking” about what has come up between us. Maybe through the movement of walking, which brings a flow and fluidity throughout the whole body, the issue is not able to be held on to so tightly as when we are seated and more rigid, and therefore we can let go of our grip on it and more open to it’s healing. Something I am feeling to ponder on further.
Very cool to consider this, Ingrid, that in walking and talking, rather than sitting and talking, we are offered the opportunity to loosen up our control, need to be right, fixed opinions etc and can be much more open and developmental in our conversations.
People share walk all the time, but also talk incessantly and the opportunity to truly be with self and another is missed. The quality in which we walk is important: walking with presence, in connection with nature another heals.
A great point Kehinde – always make it about quality and true connection.
I love walking and talking when there is something to be discussed with friends/colleagues etc. The walking brings a sense of lightness to the discussion, regardless of what is being discussed.
Recently a friend and I had a difficult time in our relationship, we were due to meet the next day and in discussing our options my friend said that they just wanted to go for a walk with me. And in this moment, I could sense how much love and appreciation they felt for me and for our relationship. It made all the difficulty between us disappear, as all there was to do, was to walk and to re-connect with each other. Nothing else really mattered. In that moment, my friend made our relationship important and not the issues that came between us causing so much pain, they made the return to true connection and for this I felt very humbled.
That’s really beautiful Shami that the relationship is based on connection to each other. As opposed to friendships being based on mutally enjoyed interests that act as the middleman for connection.
‘ It basically takes relationships to a whole other depth that is far richer than social niceties or politeness. All from walking and talking together.’ Love it Leigh. So simple and powerful.
If ever the conversation of wanting to deepening connection to ourselves or to our partner or another the question needs to be: how do we move together?
Walking gives us the opportunity to let go of anything we are holding onto, it helps us put things into true perspective and if we are walking with another it keep us open to what the other person is saying. Simple and practical.
We have a habit of cementing ideals and beliefs. I just need to sit with this awhile and see how it feels, is a common response. It is like dirty water in a glass that has been stirred up and left to sit, the dirt will fall and obscure the bottom. Walking is like a stream that is clear and flowing and even a storm that stirs up and muddies the water cannot, by the nature of its movement, be held for long.
If our focus is on the surface of the water in the glass then of course we feel better once the dirt has settled. But the more we bring our focus to the whole of ourselves the dirt gets stirred up to be pulled up and out.
This could become….’let’s walk this out’ instead of ‘let’s talk this out’. Love it.
I find that quite often if i’m being stubborn about something I won’t want to go for a walk as I know it loosens and opens me up.
Nor want to talk openly and honestly as it can very quickly bring us out of that negative energy. Addressing our want to be in that space is needed.
It was rather gorgeous that in a teacher well-being meeting the staff playfully discussed going for a walk together when they had to discuss issues that didn’t need recording. What a fabulous idea on the back of all the benefits this blog suggests.
That’s awesome Rachel. Imagine if every workplace did this.
I agree, what a great activity to implement in any workplace.
It wasn’t until I got a dog that I started to regularly walk, and really start to enjoy it, before that I used to use the excuse that I got enough exercise already but now it is one of my favourite things to do and I will always be the first to suggest going for a walk if someone comes over and the bonus is I live right next to a forest with lakes.
I love walking with my partner together, its a space to connect and build our relationship. It’s also super helpful to feel and deal with whatever is going on outside of our relationship that can start to creep in and cause tension if we don’t share it together.
There is something about the movement of walking that offers a healing and clarity not there without it.
I reckon we are only on the snowflake tip of the iceberg on how powerful walking with intention and energetic quality actually is.
I like walking and reading this has made me appreciate that when I walk around I often walk next to another person, someone I don’t know but I remember the beauty in walking with someone and remember to be open and walk with them. I have no idea if they are aware of this but the quality of my being in the world changes and it feels very beautiful.
A walk doesn’t have to be holding hands or having a positive conversation, but can actually be a great opportunity to talk through something that’s getting ‘stuck’ in a relationship or bring up something you’ve observed in the other person, because by nature of walking and moving things tend to flow a lot more and get un-stuck.
Aye, I’ve had what would be a heated conversation if we were standing while walking and it doesn’t feel as instense to have these conversations while moving.
Going for a walk with someone is the best form of counselling support, as simply walking beside someone who is steady in themselves allows the one who is caught up in conflict to come back to themselves. Even going for a walk with yourself brings you back to yourself as you can actually walk out a problem and come back with a clearer understanding of what your part is in the situation. So many aha moments can be had walking.
I have had some amazing moments when discussing and sharing with friends or family when walking and you can feel how it supports you to go to a deeper level than when you would do in a face to face sit down.
There is really something lovely about walking with someone. Today I walked with someone who was sharing about themselves and it really felt like I was walking with them in life. What if we are always loved in this way as we walk through life?
‘We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.’ moving together and developing openness and transparency – gorgeous.
Moments walking like this become a foundation for everything else and begin to change how relationships work between two people all the time. And if it changes one relationship, it changes all others for the people involved.
I am forever inspired by the beauty, grace and harmony that can be felt in our bodies and all around us as we walk… and when we walk with another, it is doubly so.
Movement in the body allows for movement in how we feel, whereas a static body leads to feelings being cemented in the body.
Walking and talking about anything that comes up in a relationship is so less threatening to the other for instead of confronting them face on with a list of grievances you walk beside them. This in itself is relevant as one person is not looming over another and this brings an equality to the situation as in relationship we are indeed walking together through life. With front on confrontations comes blame it is like blaming a mirror for the reflection it is giving you.
I love what you have shared. Walking side by side is both an expression of equalness but also of support. A person is willing to walk with you. That’s very powerful. It reminds me of youth work and how many youth workers will say often the best way to be with young people isn’t sat in opposite them in a room but going for a walk or a drive with them and then they open up more.
It is quite amazing how much it is possible to open up and express how we are really feeling about something when we walk with another. I am noticing the contrast between the possibilities of walking and talking against sitting and talking when something needs addressing.
All that matters is true connection – all the rest is about right or wrong.
I do slow mo high fives with kids and it feels amazing to feel the warmth in our palms when we connect, it’s very confirming and much more loving than the traditional hard high five !
“When stationary, we can sometimes be in our minds planning what we are going to say next, or focussing on something the other person may have said.” I have noticed this too, quite often when we are stationary we are looking at what the other person is doing, are they reacting are they shutting off, but when we are walking we are able to focus on our body and not so much on the other person. I have noticed the conversations are clearer and more focused and we are able to hear what each is saying and not race ahead with our own thoughts of what we want to say next.
Being able to walk next to someone without taking on their walk is a challenge sometimes, but the grace and beauty of doing so is well worth it, because in this I experience how we are two people, undeniably and essentially equal and yet wholly unique in our expressions.
The intimacy of holding hands is extraordinary. There is an immediate heart to heart and two people walking down the street hand in hand is, well, it is a sight we should never get tired of seeing.
What a lovely way to share and express your feelings while dating, by going on long walks and talking. This takes all the pressure away when getting to know someone, just walking and talking, simple and easy.
I tried to go along with the normal dating activities and it didn’t work! Going out can get tiring and expensive, walking together is cheaper and ever changing!
The quality of our movements can confirm intimacy or magnify our separation and conflict. Walking connected to a quality of movement allows us the opportunity to align with another as in essence we are the same.
Walking and talking is great as long as I can have eye contact with the person. There is a certain amount of feeling that we can do while walking and talking in terms of being in connection with each other, but I find that eye contact is so important too. There is something about eye contact that allows for the absolute truth.
I love holding hands as well, Leigh, and walking together hand in hand brings such joy and a sense of oneness.
Reading this blog again I can appreciate the gorgeous intimacy which is possible when we walk holding hands with another person, an intimacy which can be missing in many conversations in life currently.
‘In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly. ‘ Beautifully said Leigh, how we move together says so much about how we relate, and this expands as we surrender to the brotherhood we truly are.
I have never yet seen a person and their whole body enjoying a run or a jog. It has a very pounding affect on the body.
How true Leigh – there is nearly always a sense of struggle, fighting, suffering effort as people run for their exercise. they may as well be carrying a banner saying ‘Unless it feels bad it can’t be good for me’. Even people walking by my balcony can have this look (and I know this one myself – a kind of driving forward with the head down). Bring on the walk hand in hand with Christ.
I wouldn’t say it’s that simple to change one’s diet, yes changing the diet avoids the unnecessary jogging but if we don’t deal with the feelings we are avoiding with our current diet then the switch is temporary at best.
I used to love cycling, thinking walking was too slow, but I was missing the deep connection felt when walking. The feet on the ground, the gentle swing of the alternate hips and body, the flow down the arms.. add a friend to talk to and it is definitely a therapy to be recommended.
I have found that coming back to my body in a walk any emotional energy soon dissipates. and if it enters again it is because I have disconnected from my body.
If a friend or family member calls me on the phone in an emotionally charged state first thing I’ll do is get up and start walking around the room. It helps keep me grounded rather than swept up in their emotional state. It’s like not jumping into the river after a drowning person because then there are two of you in the water.
These are some excellent observations Leigh about how walking tends to move more than our physical bodies, but actually moves non- physical energy in a way that can resolve issues and bring greater clarity to any situation.
It’s interesting how this can immediately change when we are moving and in discussion. There is definitely something very powerful in this and how we can a lot of the time come to a harmonious point. The first point of things being about to shift and clear is a willingness to be open and transparent.
‘We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.’ and therein lies our responsibility to move in a way which is not detrimental to us all.
Just considering a dating agency based around going for a walk with someone else – beautiful way to get to know someone.
I was reflecting on this comment today as myself and someone close sometimes had issues walking together. They would want to go at a different pace to me and finding a unified pace didn’t happen. Given that walking together is very powerful, on reflection I felt deliberate effort was being put in to walk at a pace that was at odds and my not matching their pace was used as being unreasonable. So much is communicated in a walk because it is two coming together. Force-plays can come into this if I’m not ready to read what’s at play and I choose to be irresponsible by taking ‘responsibility’ for what is somebody else’s responsibility.
Recently i had a walk with a friend, and during this time we talked and shared and asked questions, with ease, discovering more about each other, and by the end of the walk, it was incredible to feel the lightness in my body. It was like our two bodies had energetically joined and we were in union, revitalised, clear in thought, not drained or weary from conversation… Walking and talking together had raised the quality of both of us equally.
I’ve had moments of feeling that flow and connection with another when working as a barista or my current work as a waitress, with certain people we would all slot together and in small spaces wouldn’t get in each others way. Moving effortlessly around and with each other. Those work days don’t feel draining and are really lovely.
When I stay very present and connected to my spine and walk beside another down the long corridors at work they either align to me and we connect and talk as we walk or they walk loads faster to get ahead to avoid the connection on offer.
I have been giving more attention to my spine as I walk recently but never while walking with another, something to explore here! Thank you Mary-Louise.
Meeting anyone with an openness and willingness to connect without guardedness or reserve, offers us the gift and potential of true relationships… our choice.
I love walking with someone and having a conversation that I can actually take away with me to support me in my day.
‘…it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.’ exposing just how isolating anger and other such emotions are.
Being open in our relationships, honest and willing to explore our patterns, habits and behaviours provides many inspiring opportunities to learn and grow together. Thank you, Leigh, for sharing how walking and talking has supported you.
I love the lightness and ease that you describe here Leigh, that nothing needs to be a massive issue when we’re prepared to be open and transparent about how we feel, without any need to feel differently, or for another to respond to us in a certain way. When we open up with honesty we allow the space for deeper understanding, for ourselves and others.
Connecting and making a choice to stay connected so that when we walk with another with an-intent-to-connect the True Love that is developed open everything up around you and the walk becomes magical.
Intention is everything! If we start out with purpose and an openness, willing to connect and get ourselves out of the way enough so that we can really listen and then express honestly, I would say that we have the ingredients here for a lot of healing and joy!
“Everything” is energy, so when we move in a way as in Sacred Movement our “joy and healing” expand.
And then walking in the new energy we have chosen!!
Taking a 5 -10 minute with yourself has the ability to put life into perspective, just by coming back to ourselves everything gets put in its orderly place.
It is also, how do we walk when we are just with ourselves? Present and with our body or our thoughts going at a hundred miles an hours thinking of lots of other things! I am starting to understand the importance of walking and movement and the impact this has on our overall health and wellbeing. The beauty is if we are in a momentum of rushing or being stressed we can change this instantly .. it is all but a choice.
Intention is everything for it sets the foundation for everything thereafter. Being honest about our intentions is invaluable for otherwise we can exist in the so-called misunderstanding of life and how it happens.
Thank you Leigh. This highlights beautifully how crazy it is that we look to apps, technology, and advanced Medicine to alter our lives. When all along, it could be as simple as connecting, walking and speaking with love from inside. We truly have everything we need to heal.
Simply going for a 10 or 15 minute walk can totally transform your day. Being outside in nature and taking the time to connect to ourselves, and other people too, is one of the best medicines.
It is empowering of people in relationships of any sort to know that with the simple intention to connect and be open, walking and talking together is a powerful and practical way of working on the quality of the relationship and deepening our understanding of each other and how we are together.
“it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.” This line prove to me that our bodies are so much more wise and intelligent as you can only stay mad with someone if you discount the body that lives the fact that we are all one and the same, on the same merry go round, going nowhere but are returning back to that grandness we all come from and our bodies already have the knowing of.
When I want to make deeper sense of the world I will walk. I have walked for hours alone to feel sadness in my body. I have walked for more hours with someone to not give up coming back to the feeling of love. Sometimes it takes a long walk but I deeply appreciate the power of walking.
Love your mention of the power of simply holding hands and how we cannot stay mad at each other for long when feeling the warmth of another’s hand with our own. Shows how issues are purely in our minds and never the truth of the body full stop.
“Shows how issues are in the minds” a very pertinent point you have shared here Joshua. It is so simple (so to speak) to be hurt and to cut another out of our lives, yet our bodies never want such separation, they only ever constantly impulse towards harmony. To cut another out brings disharmony to our body, a way of being in life that hardens it, forces it if you will, to behave with out the natural harmony that it always pulls towards. Could this be intricately connected to disease in the body? I do believe that I could be.
Taking walks together is such a healthy thing to do in many different ways, its great for the body and its great to help relationships blossom into their full potential.
We have so much available to us in our simple every day, should we choose to first be aware of it and then connect to what we know to be true.
We really do but so geared to focus on things or situations that we don’t have in our present moment that we don’t stop to appreciate that everything we already have is perfect for us to learn from.
There is a beauty in sharing openly, in talking about what is going on for us and others, and there are many blogs on this site that share the benefits of walking and moving with presence, so to put them together Leigh we have an absolute gem of a shared moment.
Even walking by myself, being with my body and honouring it as it moves, is a transformative process.
There is so much true healing on offer when we walk and talk together – transforming energy as we move.
It looks like Hippocrates had nailed when he said “Walking is man’s best medicine”… Interesting how such ancient wisdom keeps resonating… He also said “Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food”.… But that’s another story 🙂
Great to appreciate the quality of our movement bringing harmony and not any focus on an end destination.
Connecting with ourselves and walking with another can be such a joyful and transformative experience.
The joy of walking is so simple and the power of being with oneself and with another is simply amazing in our whole body and the freedom and expression and lightness from this stays with us in our day and is built on every day in our consistency and loving choices. Appreciating this is a very beautiful suport.
‘…it has you engage with your body.’ there is so much more wisdom in our bodies than our minds.
Walking and talking is my favourite way of connecting with others – anything that is challenging to talk about seems to happen effortlessly when we are moving together.
I can see that walking together means the heaviness that often accompanies a difficult conversation cannot stay – it just wants to shift. If we want to hold onto it we have to work very hard. Consciously knowing and choosing to be aware of the heaviness and the opportunity for a lighter way to walk changes so many conversations.
I so love walking, and walking together offers a beautiful expansion on how we can be together.
I love to feel the rhythm and harmony when I walk in the same cadence with someone, it facilitates the talking and understanding simultaneously.
Sometimes when we talk with another person it feels like we take up positions; a stance if you like but when we are walking, and we are moving this is not easy to do and we find that the fixed nature of our conversation becomes more fluid and we find there are moments when we have the same position as the person we are speaking to. These then become the most natural feeling, as they are harmonious, and we can use these to inform us of a true shared understanding of what we express to each other.
Yep, can definitely relate to that. Say in a heated conversation we can either be defensive or on the attack but when walking thats not possible.
When walking and talking seems to be so effective why are many talking therapies still so stationary?
It makes me wonder about the true intent and quality that is founding the therapy. Because from experience true healing is very simple whereas recently doing a few taster courses that work provided on certain therapies they were awfully complicated.
I feel you have a point there, what is the true intent behind therapies? are there some sacred cows being kept in protection?
When I walk with another I find that nothing is ‘off the table’ so to speak. I find myself very willing to be open and honest. Much comes out when we walk that probably wouldn’t without the added movement and awareness of my body that walking brings.
Walking and talking works well when we do not have expectations that a situation will be resolved or want another to eventually come around to our way of thinking. The magic happens when we let go.
Yes Julie, the letting go is important and much easier when we are moving than when stationary in a chair.
Could you imagine that, instead of allowing arguments to escalate, rather than stewing on things and letting them get to boiling point, we all went out for a walk to talk things over, giving ourselves the space to be open and freed from the energy that can circulate and grow when we stay stuck in the same movements. I know there is something deeply touching when someone takes the time to offer to walk with you when there is something bothering you or a disagreement – that feeling that you and the quality of the relationship is most important, taking the time to truly work things out and not just sweep things away.
Yes, I always appreciate when someone will walk with me to work something out. So often it is resolved within minutes because the clarity of the change of configuration in my body just frees up more space for consideration and pondering without the need to be right.
And in the few times something hasn’t resolved on a walk, i have felt more clearly in my body if I am bottling something up or holding on or being stubborn, its harder to escape because it gets more intense with every step
Walking while talking enables us to feel what we are saying and walk with it. It helps us to feel how we are in our bodies and then express. A great way to develop our awareness and share it with another.
We are all in movement together all of the time whether we realise it or not so why not bring the focus on this being of a true quality to the fore?
Moving is one of the best medicines, with staying active and exercising but also walking, talking and constantly expressing what’s going on for us
“The Beauty in Walking and Talking Together” – and in love really is one of life’s joys.
Leigh, I have noticed this when I go on a walk, ‘After the walk, what may have been a heated or sensitive subject doesn’t feel the same as it did when we set off.’ I have noticed that if there is something that seems like a big issue when I start walking I usually get to feel that in truth it is not, I find walking helps puts things in perspective, particularly when I am walking in nature or walking under the stars.
I find this as well. Feeling very emotional yesterday I stepped outside for my walk and in seconds realised that I am a part of a much bigger world outside of the black hole I had created. It didn’t take long to come back to myself.
I remember walking and talking together with someone I hardly knew as part of a presentation Serge gave, with our arms around each other it was not long before we were sharing with each other intimately, without needs or wants from another a beautiful connection can be felt as we open up to each other.
I experienced this as I walked with my wife this morning and the subjects that naturally came in conversation were some of those where previously we have not come to a shared view however talking while walking this morning there was a flow in the conversation and a shared understanding and perspective on the subjects.
We all move together every day – the question is, is that movement in harmony or not?
Great question and one that we can simply practise giving our attention to and enjoy taking responsibility for.
It’s like we get to feel the rhythm of each other and understand where each are coming from when we walk and talk.
To go for a walk with someone when there is something that needs to be aired is so supportive for both people. The simple movement of walking and moving the body, allowing our natural rhtyhm to flow through us, opens up so much opportunity to allow our thought process to flow, rather than it staying stuck. Consequently other options can be presented and tension is released making way for new possibilites and a more positive and loving way forward.
I find it quite stifling when having a heated conversation when standing static, having had one recently I really wanted to walk and talk it out. When this is not possible feeling my feet, my hands, staying present with my body to the best of my ability helped in that moment to remain more grounded rather than flying off with assumptions of the situation.
‘There’s an intimacy between us that allows us to see and feel the slight changes in one another. It basically takes relationships to a whole other depth that is far richer than social niceties or politeness. All from walking and talking together.’ What a gorgeous medicine walking can be!
“During these walks, it was not just ‘small talk’ or the getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes or our views on certain topics. We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.” – Thank you for sharing this Leigh, it’s very beautiful and inspiring to read how you didn’t just fall into trying to please one another or hide for fear of rejection but were simply open and let yourself be seen as well as opening up to the relationship not just being about the 2 of you in a bubble but what it could also mean in a bigger perspective.
I’ll admit that we did try to please each other and if I reflected on it it may still happen. But it does have a way of blowing up in my face when I do.
To be willing to explore being open and real with each other definitely sets the foundation for a true relationship… walking and talking built in as a beautiful way to connect and be honest with one another.
I love the simplicity that you present here. We have so many therapies to cope with our problems and here you present us with what simply walking and talking can bring to us.
For the price of one session you could get a great pair of shoes to last 100’s of walks! What I’ve learnt in the last few years is that the answers to all our problems are very simple when we let how we are feeling speak.
I love the pair of shoes that last 100’s of walks and letting the feeling speak. So tangibly expressed.
Love this Leigh – the healing and session which can support us also are in our movements and walking is a great example.
It is so interesting how you highlight the tradition of couples therapy or counselling, where everyone sits down and talks. Because maybe there is another way, and maybe that way is to learn how to walk with eachother? In some instances I can see how it would be beneficial to support couples to be still with eachother, to actually stop doing and to sit down and to allow the feelings to come up. But then, to walk in joy and harmony with eachother is pure gold, and so perhaps there is room for both techniques and especially when they are guided by a skilled and loving practitioner.
I would agree Shami. How many couples can walk in harmony with each other and sit and share themselves? Sliently or in conversation.
‘When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’ are necessary.’ In this connection first to ourselves and then to another all is known so there is no need to establish any other basis to relate. The connection between us is naturally there and walking together in this way is a great way to bring it to the fore and allow it to inform us as to the quality of relationship which could be possible between us all.
I walk early in the morning every day with my dog and am constantly amazed about how much can shift, change and be revealed as I walk. Take this into a walk with someone else and there is a lightness to conversation that allows for big things to be talked about without getting stuck or heavy. This is something very new and inspiring for me.
I am finding a similar thing Matilda when walking with another. By bringing that consistant focus to my own body when walking alone, I get more and more inspired by what can be revealed and then expressed openly and lightly, whereas in a stationary situation it could potentially be a ‘tricky’ or ‘heavy’ conversation.
It is beautiful to feel how by walking with another, there is so much opportunity for both people to open up and express what needs to be said. There is a harmonious flow to the conversation as a result of the harmonious flow of movement in the body, which is not always present when sitting or standing together and talking.
Walking and talking together is so simple, with no intention or outcomes it is a beautiful valuable way to live and allow in our lives, bringing an ever increasing expansion and intimacy to us all.
Movement changes how we feel and think and greatly enhances connection and communication.
It’s extremely underrated the power of our walk.
What a beautiful example of how life can be lived. Such simple, in ease and warm way of looking at life and offering yourself to step up in the way you are living, by making real what you value and want in life.
Walking with oneself and another allows for an openness where true intimacy can emerge.
Yeah it is hard to stay stuck in things when there is a movement together out of it. You quickly feel how old it is and how it doesn’t fit in with what you have been stubborn about as it is our natural pull to come back to harmony.
There is something spacious about walking and talking, there is space is space for spaciousness and openness.
“Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere has been supported by my willingness to be present with myself,” beautiful, what a gift we have to come back to our self.
I agree Amita, taking any walk – even to the loo, or any movement in fact, as being one that brings us back to our own presence.
Its so interesting that in many cultures, men walk hand in hand through the streets. That seems so strange here in the UK and yet I was also involved in a similar exercise and the opportunity for intimacy that it opens up is quite extraordinary. Amazing what a small gesture and a gorgeous walk can do!
I’ve been loving walking with others. It’s a moment where you get to walk your walk and in this offer all of you to each other. When we walk our walk an absoluteness comes over us and we get to feel all the love we are.
Its fascinating how a simple movement such as walking can support us to let go of ill thoughts & momentums.
One day there will be studies that show the true power of walking as presented by Serge Benhayon.
I have found that when I go for a walk just by moving I can clear my head, this healing is magnified if I am walking with someone else, the sense of companionship and joy felt when we connect with one and other with a shared sense of purpose is just gorgeous.
Walking together enables what we are talking about to be open for airing without it becoming too intense. While walking it is possible to keep things in perspective without allowing an issue to take over.
There was a TV programme a while ago about anti-ageing where the presenters appeared quite surprised how walking came out so high in the activities that were a great support. I wasn’t surprised at all, I know how I feel after walking with a friend, it brings us completely back into our bodies with the physical movement and mental release.
I really enjoy reading this blog Leigh. It feels so important that as you highlight at the end that you are supported in this by your willingness to be present with yourself. This feels like the key to unlocking the wisdom in engaging with our bodies.
I agree it feels like the key to unlocking the wisdom in engaging with our bodies.
When we walk and talk in this way there is never an end point, no destination, and no expected or desired outcome… it is simply being together and honestly sharing along the way.
When walking and talking together in this way, there is a realness in the connection with one another and an honesty in the conversation that supports true transformation.
It is the connection and openness that supports the true transformation.
Leigh this is so healing to read the power of walking. I also find that conversations naturally deepen when we are walking with no intention of getting from A to B. Just yesterday I also ended the day just walking with me, and I instantly felt the connection come back into my body. Walking and movement is so powerful.
Holding someone’s hand and having an argument, yes is very difficult!! Feeling the warmth of our palms we get to feel that we are different to and bigger than any belief, opinion or thought, that thoughts aren’t even a part of us so the sense in arguing disappears.
I love the idea of walking with people who we find ‘in a rant’ or where there is tension. This could provide an entirely new format for business meetings to keep them on track…
Walking and talking with connection offers not just physical fitness but emotional fitness too.
The simplicity of walking how powerful it is.
A couple of months ago we moved into new building at work and we will have sitdown stand-up desks, and it feels completely different to have the option to stand up compared to not having it at all. Just a simple movement of standing up for awhile can completely change how I feel about the work I’m doing, gives me more clarity with office politics or work load and more connection with my body and posture etc. From this experience I can only imagine what it would be like if this was an option in school, for kids to be able to stand up if they need to, even just to feel their feet on the ground or to have a different view on what they’re learning or the situation in front of them… I feel there would be a lot more connection with themselves and with their classmates and teachers.
“Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere” doesn’t that feel great? we make space for one another simply with the intention of being together.
Yes that is beautiful, to make space for one another by simply with the intention of being together.
The simplicity in and the power of walking is life changing, what I never considered before hearing Serge talk about walking is the difference it makes to walk whilst ‘feeling’ ones heart versus in ones head. A huge difference that is life changing.
Your inspiring blog Leigh reminds of a time at work when I was walking down the corridor as another colleague was walking towards me from the other end. I kept my gaze on them and they on me and we both opened up to each other and when we met I put my hands out to do a little waltz around with them. We both laughed but no words were said as the movement said it all. Then we just on with what we were doing. It felt so lovely and natural to connect in that way.
I have always loved to walk, and naturally found it one of the loveliest ways to be with people. Everything naturally falls into place as we connect with a beautiful sense of intimacy.
Even getting up while at work and walking from one part of the room to the other brings clarity to the body.
Julie any form or movement, through walking brings clarity to the body, that is my experience.
Well Leigh, my husband and I have had great fun implementing your strategy and have thoroughly enjoyed it. Interestingly there are times where we really don’t want to hold hands and that is usually indicative of one or other of us needing a little space to work on something before we come back. But it is very much a ‘coming back’ so clearly not holding hands shows the need for individuality involved with processing emotions and issues! Our own science experiment in the making.
Super cute Lucy, activating it straight away. No delay.
I love to walk dearly. I walk to come back to myself. I walk to feel union with others. When there is conflict I will walk. When there is joy I will walk. I walked with someone yesterday and he was not himself. I stayed with him but he didn’t want the reflection. He numbed more and I stayed. I felt vulnerable and expressed it. The reflection was poignant and he walked away. I kept walking and feeling. I love when I walk I always feel and I kept doing that for a while and just allowed myself to feel and to read. I walked home after feeling much more steady.
Oh I couldn’t agree more Gill! Many times when I walk with myself I realise I don’t actually have an issue with what I thought I did! Much like work situations if we all went for a walk to discuss a project or way forward then there wouldn’t be the common switch off and drain and heaviness many of us feel during sit down meetings. Walking brings what is really going on into focus.
I haven’t gone for a walk for days now and I can really feel the difference, like holding onto stuff longer than I usually would and feeling a heaviness in my body. I’ve been mulling over a relationship issue and just by reading your blog I know what will support…. time for a walk!
Walking without the conditions we are placing on getting to an outcome, and because the movements bring other energies into play, we get to feel the connection we have with another, which means any dispute is simply resolved.
There is a magic that happens when we walk and talk – if ever I have an issue or something I feel stuck in or need to discuss with another, then I find it so much more helpful to walk during the talking as then things seem to shift faster and I don’t feel so stuck in arguments or negative thoughts etc. It is quite freeing actually to walk and to talk. Or also to walk in silence with myself or another and let the body do the talking in its own way for in the silence you get to see and hear much more!
Walking with another can be beautiful, when we feel the united flow and move as one – love this feeling.
Jenny I agree it is beautiful to walk with another and feel the flow.
It sort of feels like we can learn a lot from walking and talking in the engagement of our bodies, I can kind of imagine philosophers of old taking a stroll with their pupils mulling stuff over and coming up with answers to problems or members of a tribe out walking to sort out some sort of dispute.
I get this and am inspired to bring this to my work and philosophical discussions; walking and working things out.
It is so simple to see that what we choose has a ripple effect on everything else on this planet…”We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.” Why is it that we have false notion culturally that what we choose in private, in our own heads and homes doesn’t have significance for everyone else…this is a falsity that needs a serious review.
It is very settling and confirming when we are able to be in relationships and have an open sharing and expressing way of being with each other. When we really surrender and let go to this we have amazing opportunities with each other.
It is very hard to hold a frustrated or irritated stance when you are walking. Well it is obvious that you can’t hold onto a stance if you are walking, this is not rocket science so is easy to figure out. You do walk out whatever is bugging you really quickly as the movement of walking together with the intent to sort things out has already moved the emotion or reaction on.
I find that walking by myself is also beautiful. If I am struggling with something in life I find that going for a walk brings me back to myself. If I focus on my body and my movements it brings me right out of my head and puts everything in perspective. I feel so much better. Doing this regularly helps me to build a platform of self-care and helps me to feel good about myself. One day in the park I passed a man who I see regularly. He said ‘you need a dog’. Haha! That would be lovely but no I don’t need a dog. I can take myself for a walk anytime.
I do love going for regular walks with myself also. Even after a busy day on my feet as a waitress I find my feet don’t hurt when I walk with myself.
When we walk and talk, the motion helps loosen the tongue. But, we still need to live and apply what we have uncovered or our words are just giving lip service to our ears.
Going for a walk with my wife this evening I can appreciate just what a foundation walking together is – especially when there is no goal as such other than to be with and open to each other.
It is very interesting to observe that whenever we are open to another, truly open with no protection in the way, we instantly and deeply connect to the love that unites us in an ever so natural and effortless way, where the connection feels so familiar. This is magnified through our movements and so when we walk together with an openness to connect, we cannot but deepen our relationship through the honesty and transparency of love.
Walking offers a clarity of space to reflect and through that reflection less opportunity for drama or emotional self-interest.
Moving the body makes it much harder for things like drama and emotional self-interest to take hold. I find if I’m stuck in something, a walk helps to shift things and I can get a lot more clarity. Likewise, if I’m having a problem with someone, a walk together begins to shift what we have been stuck in and then we get a true choice as to how we’ll go forward.
I have found the same thing Nikki, the worst is when you sit down, or lie down in bed at night with your partner and try to discuss things as it can easily get intense yet when you go for a walk and discuss what is coming up it seems to shift a lot easier. I know if I have a lot going on simply going for a walk with myself leaves my head feeling much clearer and I am more connected with my body.
Something amazing happened last week where someone was ranting at work. So I offered her to walk with me. She couldn’t continue her rant yet so badly wanted to and stopped walking. But as soon as she stepped forward again it wasn’t there. I found this fascinating.
That is super fascinating. It exposes how much we can want to hang onto something when the body wants to be rid of it.
This article and these comments reveal the simplicity of love, truth and relationship. I love what you share here Leigh about our attempts to resist (stop walking) and how this falls away when we start to move and surrender again.
The movement of our body does not seem to allow stagnation or entrenchment in the body of something that has been said. So walking whilst talking seems to leave ‘you’ alone so to speak, to feel lighter and in a state that supports one to process the content of what s communicated.
Walking and talking is the only way to work things out in relationships. I will vouch for that.
The rhythm of how we move and how others move is one to be explored and not to be taken for granted. It is like things fall off us as we walk and talk and there becomes a clarity at the end. Not all the time and what I love about your sharing is that you keep going until there is such clarity. Very inspiring.
That fact that in an arguement you can agree to go for a walk together is a movement towards resolution in itself, with genuine intension of course.
A walk can be an amazing way to develop ones understanding of a situation.
Definitely, many a time I have gone for a walk with myself, focusing on how I am walking (present and gentle) and asked a question. Over the duration of the walk my understanding of the situation in question expands.
Yes I love the clarity that comes about things, big and small, when I walk. What to wear is an everyday one and then there are the bigger decisions too… what I love about walking is that any stuck-ness is exposed and there is an opportunity to let go with every step.
There is a beautiful commitment here to constantly being responsible for the quality that your offer in your relationships.
On the occasional times that a walk has not helped be express myself, it helps highlight in my body the energy I’m feeling – if I was anxious or angry or agitated before the walk and don’t choose to change that as I walk, expressing myself etc, I will feel it magnified in my body at the end, making it more intense and calling me to deal more with what I’m resisting.
I find stopping, standing still and feeling my body helps before I take a step on my walk. If I don’t it’s very easy for emotions to escalate.
I agree – the walk is not there to vent or as a relief, to push it out through strenuous exercise – taking a moment before beginning the walk to feel that the intent is to let go, to release any tension and just be with the other person
Walking definetly supports energy to shift, especially when we connect to our body, move with this connection. Our particles, awareness and our listen expands,
There is sure an ease when we walk and talk, and openness, its like we activate parts in our body to be open to listen and express.
What a beautiful way to start dating, to go for walks.
..and it is a beautiful way to continue relationships and friendships too. I walk with everyone I am in relationship with, and I walk with myself.. and the dog too.
I love the fact that walking with another is a great way to reconnect – just as it can with ourselves.
Yes its a very simple way to connect as well as bring oneself back to the body as we are walking.
As do I Michael. I love that through our bodies we can, at any moment we are willing, deepen our connection to a greater love of who we are and all that we are connected to.
There definitely is something that opens up when we walk and talk. Even if I am not with someone but I am pondering on something when I walk and I get to feel it in my body and movements I get much clarity when doing so.
Yes, it is in the way we move that allows us to let go and simply be again.
The beauty of simply walking together cannot be underestimated and is deeply beautiful in opening ourselves up to another in connection. I know my relationship with my husband was built on our walks together around hyde park in London every Sunday morning, meeting with the simplicity of walking and talking, and the magic evolved from there, and after 39 years we have always reflected on this lovingly .
Same here and the key is walking with our bodies rather than thinking about the past or future, whats for our next meal or looking into windows or listening to music. Being present with the walking and how it feels allows the clarity to come in.
It is such a difference when we walk like this. Also I find not thinking of where I am going to helps as it means I can stay with myself and not be thinking will I be there in time or not. And then when we share our walk(s) with another it is lovely feeling the magic and sparks fly. It is hard not to fall in love with another when you are both enjoying walking side by side – and in love not in the physical partner sense but in the sense of 2 beings being together as it can be done with anyone.
I agree Natalie – when we move we become more aware of our body which has access to far more wisdom than we have ben allowing ourselves to feel up to now.
How amazing would it be if we built walking with people into our daily lives? What if we appreciated even the smallest walk across the office with someone as an opportunity not to get something done but to connect.
Leigh agreed, when it comes to walking your talk there is no better therapy than walking and talking to break down any issues that we may have developed.
When we walk and talk with another there is an exchange that opens possibility’s. When we walk alone to solve a problem all we get is an echo.
“And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk.” What a great way of being with one another, but more so to not accept that anything that is in between the relationship be there for long but needs to be resolved in order be able to move on to the next step that is asked to make in your evolutionary development.
There’s something very lovely walking with someone. There’s already a readiness to be together.
There is nothing like walking and talking to help you get out of a rut, quite literally. Walking is such an innate rhythm and when two or more people settle into walking together, we already have a common agreement to start with on a bodily level that cannot help but support us to resolve our issues.
I keep forgetting how important movement is in everything we do – even now as I sit here and type the words, to consider the movement of my fingertips, the ever so slight movement of my shoulders and the body adjustments that I do to support my posture… this is important, and supports or does not support me in the way I feel with myself and hence how I communicate with those around me. And here is another thing that affects me in my moods and thought patterns instantly which is posture! And we all know the classic slumped posture of many teenagers, and how this can instantly affect the way we think or the way we feel and hence flavours the way we speak and communicate with those around us! Movement is a key factor in our everyday, and it is certainly a powerful tool to be aware of to support us with our relationships with each other and ourselves.
I too have found it very powerful to walk and talk at the same time – it is like the walking supports us in not getting stuck in any ingrained patterns or behaviours as much as just sitting down to talk about something and so it makes it that much easier to let something go, embrace more understanding and allow oneself to be more free to be oneself. This is a huge blessing and something we really should use as a tool more frequently!
Beautiful Leigh, thank you for sharing your experience of walking and talking, I will do this more as it sounds very simple and lovely and a great way to be together and to discuss things.
We move our body all the time, both unconsciously as well as deliberately, in sporting events as well as simple walking, but it appears that we have overlooked the potential gold mine that lays within the movement, and that is the way it re-establishes and magnifies an inward connection with our Soul and consequently, how this has a ripple effect of connecting Soulfully with others too.
I love what Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine present, they just get right to the heart of it removing all the ‘what ifs’, ‘but I can’t do this’ etc etc and instead allow all to feel something completely different .. immediately just by really simple exercises like walking with another person hand in hand and then with your arms around one another’s back. It makes me realise just how many barriers and protection we hold onto and put into our lives if this way (walking hand in hand with another and just being no trying, no need, no pretending, no what ifs) is currently not natural to us. Maybe if we lived like this there wouldn’t be a high rate or need for counselling for relationships at all!
When I am walking with someone and our movements come into sync, it feels very harmonious and this is reflected in the nature of our conversation.
Janet, this is a beautiful observation, and I too have noticed this. It does not mean that we have to be walking exactly in the same way or timing of the other person (like in synchronised swimming for example), but there is a certain flow or magic and harmony in the movements of us both, that allows for an openness, honesty and an intimacy in the conversation. What a blessing!
“I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body…” – I agree with what you’re sharing Leigh … and also the same applies to changing the space too, for example, i find having a discussion with a colleague/client in an office room or an outside venue can change the energy of the meeting the same way that walking does. Ultimately relationship is our consideration of energy, space, and movement to determine the level of evolution taking place.
This is proof positive to me of the desire to walk with people, be that partners, children, parents, friends, Work colleagues, etc. It is a palpable feeling, an ability to feel an equality when you are walking side by side.
You’ve shared gold in this blog, Leigh. The key to getting out of a rant, argument or tense situation is to actually move, and focus on the quality of these movements. Staying in the momentum of the issue keeps us in a stagnant state of disorder.
It is so true Leigh, when we have no agenda or outcome with another just an openness to be with them true intimacy can emerge.
The intention to being open with people and to connect is life changing in the sense that life doesn’t become just the same thing again and again but it becomes about igniting what is within us. We are all part of the Universe so the depth of where we can go to with our connections is beyond the stars!
Walking and talking can be purposeful, not in a forced way, but with intention to move or clear energy that is blocked, circulating in our minds or simply to see and understand more about ourselves and others. If locked in our heads, dis-connected from our body and breath, a walk is no longer therapeutic.
Talking and walking or just walking and thinking is something I never did much of for a large portion of my life, I was always trying to solve my problems down at the pub, I was always pondering something or talking about something over a pint which never got me very far.
“This went against my experience of the beauty that can occur when walking and talking together to discuss matters between two people.” I love walking and talking, there’s something about literally moving through stuff together as you walk and talk. I find it very effective for anything of issue surfacing in my relationship. Also good for meetings and nutting out new ideas. I highly recommend it.
Walking and talking without attachment to an outcome frees us from trying to get to an end point and keeps us open to all possibilities which may be magnificent beyond what we could possibly imagine.
Walking without any preconceived perceptions makes the conversation so inspiring and will break down the barriers we have developed over many life times.
Your blog shows us that our body has a dimension to it that we are not utilising to its fullest. This dimension is connection and movement, which takes one into harmony, equalness and brotherhood. Imagine how many wars or disputes could have been averted if only walking and talking was utilised…
The rhythm and quality of one´s walk govern the quality of one´s thoughts and the character of the conversation.
Lovely to read this, and it is so true, The movement of walking disperses our tight way of being in emotions. Giving ourselves the opportunity to be much more open and willing to be intimate with one another.
I dare anyone to try and have an argument with another while walking on their tippy toes. How we walk can change our mood so quickly.
Leigh, I have noticed that if I am inside and trying to resolve things then things can go round and round in circles and often end up not resolved, sometimes worse and more complicated than before, whereas if I am walking and talking then things seem to shift and it seems easier to not get stuck on a certain thing, the walking really seems to support this.
I have noticed this for myself also. Seems to be less complicated when walking and talking. Plus the added bonus of the healing hand of nature that surrounds you as you’re stepping it out. Imagine board meetings taken in this way.
To walk and express is a great way to process and integrate new levels of awareness
Whenever I see a colonnade or cloister I instantly am inspired to walk alongside someone and have meaningful and light conversations on matters of life. The effect of the combination of walking and talking is not new but well known; great to revive it.
Thank you, Leigh. What I get from what you have shared is that walking and talking is another way of developing intimacy in our relationships (not just with our partners), making love normal and everyday.
“Although walking with someone I scarcely knew and had never really spoken to, I felt very connected to the young lady beside me, as if I’d known her forever.” imagine how incredible it can be when we are this open when we walk with people we do know, it would transform relationships. I know that I deeply enjoy walking with my partner like this and as I reflect on how I am feeling I do miss when we don’t have that opportunity to connect.
“it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.” So true Leigh! I love this whole blog – walking with someone offers us so much in way of deepening that connection, intimacy and realness with another.
I have heard it said that meetings should be held standing up – a lot of business is done on a golf course, so perhaps that is some people’s way of meeting. In relationships there is often a different pace as Karin has stated above, and we adapt to each other. If one partner is unwell, for example, the other has to walk slower, and if there is a dog, sometimes one has to walk faster or have the arms pulled off!
I do wonder about the quality of the work done if one were to do a comparative study on meetings held sitting, standing, golfing, walking or as I often see in my work surrounded by food and alcohol.
I love this blog. The sense of companionship and love is palpable. Yes, how can we get angry with someone when we are holding their hand and walking together.
It all goes to show that issues within a relationship are always from the outside and never change the fact of the underlying love which always remains waiting to be tapped into and let out.
Leigh your post makes me want to get hold of a person’s hand and walk with them!!!!! … For the inevitable expansion this activity brings as your post so inspiringly details.
We underestimate the power of our own movements and often just move without any further thought, or actually too many thoughts, that take us places but do not allow us to be with ourselves with every move. Like our own breath we can determine the quality in how we move and that makes all the difference.
And even when we get confirmed in how powerful our movements are the mind can brush this aside. Until it consistently shows it’s self as the greater choice (to focus on the quality we move in rather than moving to a mental picture)
There is indeed a beauty in walking and talking together… we grace the planet with loving footprints and leave behind a quality for others to be inspired.
Yep on reflection I can feel when I am walking and talking with someone I am open but also when I am just standing with someone I am equally open. However, what I can feel though is walking (moving) with another when expressing is asking me to be in the flow more … not hold back or be contracted .. it gives us a greater opportunity to just be all of us. Really interesting to feel.
I find myself naturally walking even in a confined space when discussing situations or people. It may not be quite the same as taking myself with another to walk around the block or in my case along a country lane but I certainly feel the difference in the sense of how moving supports me to be with me and my body.
I feel definitely on board with the joy of moving Jane and Caroline. Sitting for hours is not conducive to joy, and can get the head stuck in a kind of intensity were it can start running off its own limited battery. So beautiful to embrace life and movement and communication.
I find walking together with people a great way to bring not only space to talk but the pace in which we walk can also say a lot about how we are feeling within our bodies too. Being aware of how we move when we walk with others and how we then communicate gives us a great scope to see how simple it is to truly connect with others, and how truly powerful our movements are.
Beautiful sharing about what can happen when we simply walk next to another with no destination in mind, and that walking is actually something that can be healing.
Walking and talking is very powerful. It’s so powerful that I’ve also experienced great resistance to walking at a complimentary pace with the other person that the question of whether the relationship is to continue or not has had to be asked.
it is when we brush it aside and not resolve what is not harmonious between us we start to get the tension, shutdown and pulling away. I love what you share here and it is super important to be able to express all of what we feel and for it not to be dismissed or ignored but valued and appreciated.
“… the movement appears to curtail the discussion that would otherwise go around in circles”. A simple tool to implement when it becomes clear a conversation is getting caught in a loop. Choosing to move literally moves the conversation on.
‘Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk.’ what an amazing reflection of the cycles of life and the opportunities we are constantly given to have another go to be more loving.
We are so blessed to keep going around in the cycles of life to constantly be deepen our love.
“When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’” When I read this I saw so clearly how much protection and conditions we all carry in our bodies and when we let that go, we allow our bodies to be as they really want to me which is in connection in ourselves and to others.
Humanity’s penchant for ‘sitting and thinking’ over ‘walking and talking’ is indicative our favouring of what the mind thinks over how the body moves. This sets us up for a completely backward existence because we establish a lived way based on the reductionist mind based intelligence over the far greater ‘whole body intelligence’ on offer when we include the human form – our whole body working in unison with the brain – in the equation.
What this is showing us is that we are yet to fully understand that how we move informs the thoughts we will receive, so instead we allow the thoughts we receive to inform how we move, thereby creating a way of life that is not true to the impulses of the inner heart – our whole body and being – and thus our most natural and true way to be.
There is a famous statue, called The Thinker. How poignant is the refection of being locked into our thoughts by not moving?
set in stone… (!)
It’s amazing what we can learn through observation and being open to what is there given.
So clearly articulated – we like to think our way out of issues – something I am still very much prone to and even though I know that my thoughts are precipitated by my movements I am still used to that old way of being. Learning to deepen my presence and to live life from my body rather than my head is certainly a work in progress.
A great summation Liane of why we see things the way that we do and you are exactly right when you say that it is because we rely on ‘reductionist mind based intelligence’ that we have such a ridiculously skewed and reduced concept of Life. If we were to live from our ‘whole body intelligence’ then our view and understanding of life would expand exponentially. Currently we’re looking through a very narrow smeary viewfinder.
Walking is a great tool – something I know I can use to work through something either in myself or with other people
There is so much in this subject Leigh and the simplicity is one that stands out, how much time is wasted sitting and stewing over a situation with someone rather than lovingly walking and talking, clearing the stagnant energy.
Intention is a very powerful factor in how something feels and how a situation plays out. If the intention when walking is to get fit or get from A to B, this will have a very different result than walking being aware of the person/people near you and connecting with them. I grew up in a busy city and spent many hours of my school life walking with many people to get to and from public transport. Imagine if we all walked feeling and being willing to connect with each other. It would be very different from the current rush and isolation most of us feel in a city crowd.
Yes, I love what you say here Fiona. I know I remember to be open as I walk and not caught up in what I’ve got to get done in the day. Being open allows for connections and doesn’t cost anything.
The connection of walking with someone is very beautiful. This is quite different to walking next to someone, the beauty lies in the connection and the choice to truly be together.
I can feel the engagement of the body with movement which seems to somehow get the flow throughout the body and curb the mind from its chatter.
I have always found walking with another a much more sincere way to be with someone as it really does bring a deeper connection between whoever you are with. It offers people the space and freedom to open up in ways that they are not as inclined to do when sitting in front of each other having a cup of tea!
Tonight I went walking with a friend and I could feel the beauty of what is being expressed in this blog about walking and talking. This is a great way to wind down the day as well.
Walking is such a beautiful way of connecting and sharing feelings with another in a much more simple and open way.
I have just been away with my family and many of the most precious moments were when we were walking together. Lots of those walks were down pretty dirty, dusty streets, it wasn’t the scenery that brought the magic, it was us.
I love your awareness here Leigh. An open curiosity and a willingness to see all that is at play. A very heart warming blog.
I had never heard of walking therapies before but I am beginning understand how our movements change our mood and our thinking and I have often found a walk in nature great for recharging. The walking therapy I have experienced recently was different, we were just walking around a room and our walk was representing how we go through life, our attitudes which, in my case, was about trying to be right, always wanting to do the right’ thing, trying to ‘get it right’, that sort of approach. As a result of walking that way I am constantly criticising myself for being ‘wrong’ and I am learning that there is no right or wrong, there is only Truth. if I am to walk Truth, then I walk with all of me, feeling my body from head to toe, staying present, thinking only of what is happening in that moment, not ahead, not behind, not creating any pictures, no ideals, no beliefs about how things should be, not even about how I ‘should’ walk, just being, feeling and moving. This is life-changing.
This is super Leigh, really insightful look into relationships and partnerships….walking and talking is a movement; a movement where we can catch and view something, to then let it go as we move together. Gorgeously freeing.
“I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body.” Walking while talking seems to allow things to ‘keep on moving through’ I like what you say Leigh, and clearly there is a lot in the fact that staying present with the body means we are therefore more with what is being said/shared.
When we walk together we are ‘forced’ in a way to wholely engage – engage with our bodies, engage in conversation and engage with another. Sometimes, sitting can just be a head talking at us!
Our bodies have the opportunity to move together and the movement is together – not separate.
I’ve found even walking on my own can be extremely beneficial when there are stubborn thoughts or energy feels stagnant in my body… however walking with another is totally heart-warming.
Great blog Leigh and purpose to your walk. To walk to deepen our relationship with someone, move through the tensions through conversation, openness and honesty, being with each other.
I agree Leigh, walking and especially when walking together, it makes it harder to stay stubborn and locked in a mindset. It asks us to pay more attention to our body and feel it.
‘After the walk, what may have been a heated or sensitive subject doesn’t feel the same as it did when we set off. We both feel lighter, clearer and closer to one another without all that ‘stuff’ between us.’ – I love what you share here, Leigh, how when we, together, choose to work through whatever issue lies between us, it actually brings us closer together. Whilst to avoid it, or pretend it’s not there starts to cause a separation which will continue until the issue is addressed.
When we walk and talk, can we hold any tension in our bodys? We may try, but is it the same as joggling with our eyes shut?
I have begun walking around the local park several times a week and most times my nine year old granddaughter comes with me. It is such a precious time for both of us, as with every walk we are getting to know each other a little bit more, often having some in depth conversations about life. It is also a time where we get to stop and talk to others – and their dogs – and even though we may not continue walking with them it feels like we have made new friends. This is just the greatest therapy!
It is worth not taking our thoughts so seriously when we know we are not thinking clearly, and instead move our body in a way that is at least gentle to bring ourselves back before trying to deal with anything.
Thank you Leigh! I agree that when we walk and share how it is for us in the moment or around some issue that has come up, things that are aired in conversation are quickly resolved in a harmonious way.
I reckon an important part about being in a couple is to be aware of the images that we can try to live up to. And sometimes these images can be very nice, but even these can be false if they are not truly where we both are at in the relationship. So, sometimes the walk may feel a bit awkward, or maybe the other person may not want to go. But this doesn’t matter, because we are all on a journey, and no one day will ever be perfect, with the perfect relationship, with the most perfect walk. It will be what it will be and sometimes it will be glorious and sometimes it will not – this is the way of the world as we all learn how to be in relationships with eachother that are not harming and are in fact full of love. But the key is here to catch when the images of an idealised version of what it should be like come in to play, and to refuse to go along with their agenda.
Walking and talking is a great way to go Leigh. And when one is in a situation that precludes this even walking around the room (as you’ve said) or changing one’s sitting position facilitates a re-algnment to truth if one so chooses!
I have found the same with dancing together – my wife and I try to regularly dance together and it quickly melts any tension or hardness between us and brings back the fun and joy!
That’s beautiful Andrew. It also reminds me that I used to dance around my kitchen quite often and why am I not doing it nowadays …I am inspired to put on some dance music …it’s been too long.
So true, movement and walking s part of that can have a huge shift on how things flow.I have also experimented with moving when situations or conversation get stuck. It can change the quality of the conversations and bring a nw lightness and understanding between people.
This is very true. The way we walk informs the way we talk. Currently, we place far too much emphasis on ‘walking our talk’ and not enough on ‘talking our walk’.
Since a week or so my husband made the commitment to go for a walk at the end of the day. Walking hand in hand is a beautiful way to confirm and nurture our connection, to wind down before we go to bed. And our dog loves it too, to be together as one.
Such a lovely and loving and simple way to connect with each other. A very simple “tool” to have, and everyone can do it!
Yes when sitting down and talking about something we can be really stuck into something, an energy, that does not really want to let us go. When we walk we are able to transmute this energy way more easily because we are moving and can choose the quality we are moving in.
Yes I have found the same thing – usually if I or we are stuck in something the best thing to do is move my body tenderly and really be in connection with my body and this usually brings more clarity and breaks the reaction or mood I am in.
When we walk we move our body and move the muscles – this may seem like an obvious statement, but in my experience, it is like some things sometimes can get ‘locked in’ and ‘stuck’ in the body and muscles and hence why it can be so powerful to walk as this can help to shift the ‘stuckedness!’…
The beauty of being together knows no bounds.
Leigh, thank you for sharing your experience here with walking and talking – it is amazing to feel how walking can shift things a lot faster than sitting down or standing up to talk about things especially when we seem a little stuck in our view points or unable to see things clearly.
I agree, Henrietta, it is like the stuck and stubborn stuff has nowhere to root itself. When I feel my opinions wanting to be heard and agreed with, it actually affects the ease with which I walk, making it super obvious that something is awry and I need to review.
It is interesting how walking therapy has not really been explored – how we confine ourselves to sitting in a room facing someone, digging deep. When in fact movement shifts so much in our bodies. Add expressing truth to this and it is a whole new level. I have certainly felt the difference in walking alongside someone and feeling like I connect to the depth of who they are. It is so simple and powerful.
Walking has a rhythm and it is easy to get a sense of the quality we move in, from there the quality of talking can be adjusted and or impulsed. Thus talking is much more body connected and not just a mental exercise.
I agree wholeheartedly with you Leigh, walking with another brings another dimension of a deeper level of connection and more spaciousness to communicate and express from.
“Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere has been supported by my willingness to be present with myself, – while learning to express my feelings is making it easier to be open and transparent with another”.
I love the lightness and ease in which you describe how you and your now boyfriend became partners – such a real and honest way to start a potential relationship.
I love this, Leigh, as it keeps the wisdom of our bodies very much part of the conversation.
I love to watch people walking and talking together, the two activities seem to compliment each other. It is very clear from the body language and their movements whether they are in harmony together and beautiful to observe the flow as one when there is that simple joy of life.
“I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk.” Beautiful how this opens the door on a whole new world of relating to one another, shifting the emphasis from being nice to being genuine, no frills needed. What a superb way to support us to change deep-seated patterns of relating that have prevented us connecting with the true and delicate love inside us all.
It very much is about connecting to another and not being nice. It is with true connection that is when we can share the true and delicate love inside of us.
Leigh this is beautiful, I can really relate – I love walking and talking with another, talking in depth is a great way to feel the beauty and magic between us both.
Where I live and work, a ‘retirement’ village, building design prioritised interiors: facilities, swimming pool, gym, therapy suite, restaurant and forgot to design in outside space for residents and staff. Fortunately residents expressed what they wanted and we now have a safe circular path constructed through woods and gardens with seating. it offers an opportunity for my client and I to take daily walks together, or for me to walk with myself. Without this the facility lacked heart. Other residents in wheelchairs can be taken out by family or carers.
I know what you mean when a facility lacks heart. I work on the weekends as a carer in my community and one of the complexes I visit is in a gated community with the main hall as a social area and the houses all look very cute. There is one patch of green which is the roundabout as you enter and that is it. The residents I see never get to go out and it wouldn’t be easy for them to walk around the streets as there are no pavements and only enough room for cars.
Julie, architects and developers are designing without heart. To design buildings and communities with heart we would consider the true well-being of residents first and integrate this at the design stage. Outside space, gardens trees, paths and seating are essential for healthy communal living.
Yes, I find that when I am walking there is a natural tendency to feel my body and connect with it and as a consequence, I feel more present and joyful. Going for a walk with my mind and my body on the same thing, for me, is one of the best forms of medicine!
I used to sit down with someone if I had something I wanted to clear up or talk to them about. But after trying walking and talking to clear things up, I noticed how this feels different to say sitting in a room. I find walking and talking is so much more supportive. I tried this again the other day and was amazed at how I felt afterwards.
It is a great shift, Chan and I too love it – in fact these days we can also do the walking even when on our mobile or cordless phones and in conversation with someone – but we do tend to forget this valuable tool so it is great to be reminded of it and also to appreciate how powerful it can be!
‘We are members of a society whose actions impact on us, just as our actions affect everything and everyone around us.’ it adds a deeper purpose when we consider the effect that the quality of our relationships have on everyone. Resolving issues as they may arise means that we can reflect a truly loving relationship to everyone else and walking and talking feels like a great foundation of how to approach that.
I’ve experimented with walking as a way to de-intenisify business meetings. It can be a great way for some ‘blue sky’ strategic thinking as its not possible to get too bogged down in too much thought because nature has a habit of interrupting with a sunrise here, a duck waddling past there. The connection to our bodies is total gold when having this level of conversation and its definitely something I’d like to do more of.
When we walk there is movement in our bodies and therefore there has to be movement in our conversations too… there is no space for anyone to get stuck or stubborn in their thoughts as we are constantly aware of our body’s moving as we walk.
There is a beauty, grace and harmony that naturally comes when we walk and together.
Walking with another and talking something through is a great tool to connect and not stay in cemented and prefabricated judgments and brought-forward, i.e. planned and anticipated solutions. Walking encourages simplicity without any hierarchy and frees us up to be more of who we truly are and bring that to the table.
When I was a boy I was very shy when I was meeting people. Somehow I felt that I had to say something and I did not know what to say.
Many years later I went to a workshop where we were to pair off with a stranger, and just be with that person, Connection but no trying. No words required.
I still remember this person, We barely spoke at all but I felt a connection to that person that still remains today.
It was an awakening for me. I do not have do anything when I meet a person, just be me.
Thank you Serge Benhayon for confirming this to me.
I just love to walk. Whenever I don’t feel settled about something I will walk. It brings me back, my movements in presence back to my body allow me to feel deeper into the fuller picture and everything changes.
This is how I feel too Adele. I used to only walk to get from A to B and hardly went out for a leisurely walk. But now, I enjoy walking to reconnect to my body and clear my head.
“…it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.” This is very lovely Leigh, and it actaully made me chuckle at the absurdity of how we can and sometimes do choose to be mad at someone for days on end, if not weeks or months. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we all chose to go for a walk with someone who we were having a disagreement with, to hold their hand, and to let any hurts or ill feelings between us simply melt away?It really could be as simple as that.
I love how you and your partner started dating ‘This is how my partner and I initially started dating, by going for long walks while talking with each other. During these walks, it was not just ‘small talk’ or the getting to know each other’s likes and dislikes or our views on certain topics. We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.’ So very cool and this lays a foundation for a expanding and open relationship.
I grew up going on family walks at weekends, it’s what we did together, so it’s always felt very natural for me. I have found that sometimes people feel very uncomfortable just going for a walk if there isn’t a purpose behind it, as in trying to get somewhere to do something, which, I’m learning to appreciate, feels like an avoidance of being vulnerable. As our pace of life is continually ramping up, it’s inviting us to keep busy so we can avoid deepening our connection with ourself and therefore, everyone else. Walking together feels like the perfect antidote 🙂
‘When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’ are necessary. We simply connected and walked together.’ – what you share here, Leigh, shows how we are sabotaging our innate way of connecting with each other when we allow these harmful ‘conditions’ to impose on our interactions with each other.
‘In my own life, I have experienced how much joy is possible in a relationship when we walk and talk together openly.’ – I have noticed the same, it is something very freeing as well as naturally opening that takes place during a walk.
Perhaps ‘walking paths’ could be part of building design for work places, institutions etc. Rather than go to the ‘bosses’ office etc. an invite to do a walk together would be a wonderful way to share, express what is needed from a place and space of equalness.
I love the idea of ‘walking paths’ as part of building design. Very often more affluent companies integrate gyms and exercise studios into workplaces, the emphasis being exercise and fitness.. Walking paths offer a different quality, an opportunity for colleagues to share space together the emphasis being connection with both self and another.
Lets present this to architects shall we?
A great idea Sandra to present this to architects and business owners. I’m up for it. I have a particular interest in residential care homes that don’t make full use of outside space for the benefit of residents for walking and gardening
I love your sharing Leigh… inspired by Serge Benhayon I can feel the simplicity and power of what you have offered through your experience.
In the walking movement is a flow that is missed in sitting, inspiring the conversation by every step offering another angle.
Its that flow that means we can’t get stuck on a particular point, so its particularly good for exploring challenging issues in a relationship of any sort.
It is lovely what you have captured here Leigh. As with all things divine, the simplicity of walking and talking can cause it to be undervalued. Yet I have often found that conversations get stuck, heady and about right and wrong when sitting. Whereas when walking there is a freedom in the body, freedom to move and the conversation can be more like two people coming to a common point rather than two opposing sides.
Imagine if we walked our kids to school rather than drive them. Imagine if we walked to work together rather than commute separately. Imagine if we went for a walk as a family together, rather than watch telly. The amount that we move together as a race of people seems to have diminished over the years, as a result of forever looking at ways to transport ourselves from place to place with the minimum of effort. The loss is far greater than simply the reduction in our physical fitness.
Yep this would be a game changer Alexis. However I have seen families walking together to school in complete disconnection with each other so we need some work on connection as well … with ourselves and others.
Very true Vicky.
I love the people I have gotten to know through going for walks together, the deep connection and intimacy that can be developed.
I agree – walking together offers a very real and intimate way of connection.
Life can be so simple if we allow it to be and walking and talking together is a great example of how we can make things simple as well as super supportive.
Leigh, great article, you have inspired me to walk and talk with my partner more. We did this fairly recently in Cornwall, we walked for a long time, unrushed, enjoying the scenery and the connection we felt with one another – it was a very lovely and supportive time for us both and left us both feeling connected and close.
Walking is one of the most over looked and affective therapies, we have over complicated everything on earth and what I am now discovering is that the simple things in life are often the most powerful, I love how you point out that it is really hard to stay mad at someone when you are holding their hand, it is so true.
Magical combination: walking and talking. Much more difficult to hold on to an issue if you are walking and talking in openness about it. Yes, perfect relationship counseling, although I also use it when coaching clients. People come so much easier to what is going on for them and what they need when they walk.
Walking and talking together is so enjoyable as it brings an openness that allows each other to just be with the walk and talk more from the body.
I’ve found my mood is about my movements, and when I go for a walk and change my movements I can be a totally different person from before.
Same here Michael, I could have a really rubbish day at work but walking with myself I become lighter and start to see the beauty in the unpleasant events and my going forward responsibly to bring in the next day.
I don’t have a regular pattern of walking with myself daily although I know it would be a good thing to do. We have a dog, so rather than walk twice, I tend to take her for walks around our local area. Unfortunately she pulls on the lead most of the way so some days when I am feeling fragile, I don’t go walking at all, which is a shame. Occasionally my partner and I go to the beach or a lakeside where she can be off leash and then we can walk in our own rhythm, which is lovely.
Its great to feel the depth of intimacy that can be reached when we open up as we walk, connected together with that purpose of being instead of focused on fixing things. I’ve been enjoying building this relationship with my partner and the difference in how I feel after walking is quite amazing.
Things are constantly constellating to support us to live our truth, however, the first step is up to us, to choose love, then we are open to feeling the support that is there to guide us.
‘It’s the quality in which we relate to each other during our walk and the honesty and depth of the conversation that makes these moments what they are.’ – it’s our commitment to being open, honest and sharing the truth of how we feel that deepens the quality of all our relationships. It’s not about the amount of time we spend with each other, rather the quality of the time we share together.
Walking and talking go hand in hand.
The movement of the body seems to facilitate the expression through words, I find that even little movements of the body help me when I am unsure what to say. The movements release the tension within the physical and then the words flow, it is a beautiful connection.
There is so much beauty in walking and talking together. My house mate and I find that we have our best conversations when we go for a walk together. Sometimes we need to get up and move, and it gives us a fresh perspective. We also find that we can talk about things that have been difficult to raise. Issues are easier to talk about without reaction, and we feel more open to each other. It does wonders for our relationship.
Yes, Leigh, walking and talking helps to keep things flowing so we don’t get stuck in a head to head battle of who is right or who is justified in their hurts, and can let go of what we have been harbouring as we move.
Serge Benhayon has introduced yet another incredibly easy way to support ourselves when we have relationship issues. I was blown out how the issue resolved so easily when walking and talking with another and replaced by connection and love.
I so agree Leigh – walking and talking is extremely therapeutic, enjoyable and great exercise for the circulation of energy through the body Thank you for this beautiful blog.
When we walk with true purpose and yet without intention we allow space for evolution – the relationship with our own body and movement gets our head our of the way and we feel the rhythm and flow of our body.
I wonder how different Board meetings – or any other meetings for that matter – would be if they were held walking in nature rather than sitting around a table. How about interviews for jobs? Perhaps if we want to know the best of someone, we should take them for a walk rather than sit them in a stuffy interview room.
Beautiful to observe how such a simple accessible movement can support and build connection and intimacy.
Yes appreciating the simple things in life is a joy.
‘We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.’ making space to go deeper in our expression to each other as we open up is truly evolving of a relationship and of each other.
Walking and talking brings a new flow into the conversation and what I love is that through the walking, our bodies begin to align to each other through pace and quality of movement, which in turns seams to have a knock on effect of helping our inner worlds to align too.
What a great foundation you and your partner created for an amazing relationship, I can imagine this sort of courtship happening in days of old but not in this day and age.
How we walk is important. Do we walk with our minds leading the way and thoughts circulating or with our whole bodies in alignment with Soul. There is a marked difference, one is toxic, the latter medicine.
‘it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them’. I love to hold the hand of my partner and I also love to walk arm in arm with my daughter or a girlfriend, as it feels very supportive and very connected to the other.
How hard is it to be mad at someone when your laughing? When we contract and react we can simmer in anger till the cows come home. Even simple movements can create cracks in our veneer that let us out.
Haha I love this – when issues arise and don’t get resolved, instead of agreeing to disagree we can simply take another walk around the block 🙂
we get to resolve issues and have a great walk …win, win situation
I hadn’t considered this before but reading the title again… there is an absolute beauty in truly connecting with others and being in harmony with another.
Walking together can expose a great deal – even just in our walk without talking. Often we start out of rhythm with another, which shows how we have been living, and as we continue to walk together we naturally come into rhythm with each other – not from trying, or one person changing their walk, but by being open and connecting with another… there is a natural flow and harmony that develops, and this is then reflected in our conversations.
Walking and talking together allows so much space for another to open up. The simple fact that the body is moving is enough to dissovle any potential feelings of being confronted, and instead offers the space and support for either person to express what is there to be said without judgement or criticism, or simply to share an appreciation of each other.
It’s stunning the way putting your arm around someone changes everything else. It’s sad that we have let physical touch become sordid and imposing when it has the potential to bridge so many divides and heal hardness in a way that words alone will never do. Thanks Leigh for this sharing and chance to walk and talk with you.
Walking with someone you don’t know that well can offer all you need. Just like you wrote: ‘When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’ are necessary.’
Whenever I have some issue come up for me or in my relationship with family or friends and I feel like I have gotten into an endless mental loop with no resolution I will go for a walk, and preferably with the person that I am experiencing something with that needs to be healed. Inevitably the cloudiness in my head lifts and any tension between us seems to slowly melt away. So what Leigh has shared here makes so much sense and is true science for the body as a way to gain greater awareness and understanding.
I love this Susan and Leigh, it makes soooo much sense, sitting in your stuff or moving and clearing the energy that has got you into a pickle. The only problem is that often you are in such a pickle you just amplify the issue with movement so the key really is that the movement has an intention to be more responsible in the next moment and the intention is to return to the love you are.
Sometimes in those deep pickle moments I walk around my living room with no intention other than to feel myself walking, eventually I feel more like my steady self again.
I agree Shirley-Ann walking is an absolute gold mine of support for your body, mind when done with the alignment to our soul it is the best medicine.
I couldn’t agree more Vanessa and Shirley-Ann. It is striking how it is possible to change and shift negative thought patterns and consequently how we feel in our bodies when we walk in alignment to who we are. Walking in this way is indeed true medicine for the body.
I agree Sandra, I’ve found that walking allows a natural flow in the body to emerge. It would make sense then that it shifts away what was held by the body that wasn’t of that flow and movement
Your walks hand in hand together Leigh are clearly something you both treasure as time spent with one another to deepen and enrich your relationship together.
Not only can we work though issues when we walk and talk together, it is also a great way to develop relationships, open up and get to know another person.
I love what you have shared here, Leigh, about going around the block again until harmony is restored between one another. Such is the power of walking in connection and presence.
Not that long ago we had a situation within our family that was proving near impossible to clear and kept rearing its ugly head. The tension was felt by all but we could not quite put our finger on it. So three of us went for a very much needed walk and talked about how the relationship between two was affecting everyone and how everyone had their part to play in this situation. Then everything became clear of how the energy was playing out when we were all together and why. Since then the issue has gone as if it never existed and harmony has been restored.
Wow, that is powerful Julie. What a beautiful sharing. I am going through some challenges at the moment and I also find walking and talking to be very supportive.
Love this Leigh, how walking engages with the body, brings a presence that you take to a depth in conversation and a deeper level of relationship, not just the getting to know you chit chat.
When we have the ‘intention to connect’ it gets us past any issues that may hold us back from being open with the other person. We can apply this in any situation and it would be a world transformer with regards to all the conflicts that are currently ongoing where adversaries are stuck in their rigid positions with no willingness to shift.
Something I noticed is that when I walk I am often freer to express, for example, I may get up and walk about whilst on the phone vs sitting in one place and the same naturally goes for walking and talking with people in meetings and in discussions. Depending on the topic it can be very confirming and supportive to walk and talk.
There is something very beautiful about going for a walk with another whether it is to share or listen as we are both always offered to go deeper to evolve.
In the light of what you share Leigh, perhaps relationship counselling sessions need to take place outside on a walk… there might be a greater introduced harmony!
This is so beautiful. There is so much love in your writing.
Thank you Leigh – such a great way of talking together! In my last workplace I introduced ‘walking meetings’ where we would walk around the local town for the length of our meetings. These meetings were ‘one on one’ rather than group meetings, so were intimate and while offering exercise in the outdoors, also provided that extra level of connection with the other person. Much was also discussed about what was happening outside of work related subjects.
So true Leigh. When we focus on the quality of our walk, especially when holding another person’s hand and feeling the warmth of their hand in ours, our conversation becomes multi-dimensional and therein all the subtleties of our communication are fully available to us. What a simple but awesome shift in awareness and such an easy way to address the tensions that arise as we learn to how to love and respect each other.
Keeping the mind from dominating our body through movement bringing awareness to all of our body means that we can communicate with how we feel rather than just what we ‘think’.
When I walk down the corridors at work with another colleague, we may not be arm in arm, but I connect with them with an open heart. Some love it, even though they do not really know what and why and others speed up and walk ahead of me. It is interesting to observe what plays out with the different colleagues.
Maybe our political leaders should take a good long walk together, you never know they might come back as best buddies.
The invitation is to make movement purposeful where-ever we are, with or without a companion.
Imagine this strategy introduced in Parliament.
When we discuss an issue when we are sitting, we can tie ourselves into knots. We cross our arms and legs and become an armadillo. It’s impossible to walk that way.
It feels like when we walk together we then are able to connect, lets say, on a bodily level which is all encompassing compared to when we are stationary we tend to connect merely from the calculating mind.
Leigh I love your amazing blog very much and can only relate to it. For example if I am joyful and at ease my walk is like this. The quality of my walk can change as soon as I felt differently e.g. grumpy. The walk is not in a flow anymore instead it is hard and loud. As soon as I become aware of it I can choose to stay in this grumpy walk or change it step by step until my walk feels at ease again.
Yes, walking and talking is a great way to understand and resolve issues and can make the process much easier.
Thank you Leigh for simply expressing a truth that walking and talking moving our bodies whilst sharing changes the energy between couples so a clearer understanding can be reached.
The power of movement so simply expressed, thank you Leigh.
Such an inspiring story and so radically different to how I blundered into relationships when I was younger. Amazing that these stories are getting out there as shinning examples and inspirations.
I was lucky, a longer walk was actually the start of my first longer relationship when I was 17!
Discussing something potentially serious is always better on a walk.
I feel that what you say about walking with someone is also very relevant to the walks that I take with myself. It’s the same – a commitment to build that relationship in truth, without judgement and in full obedience to what my body is showing me.
Yes Otto, walks with self are also important and can be a daily commitment to deepen our relationship with self and opportunity to become aware of where we’re at.
‘Although walking with someone I scarcely knew and had never really spoken to, I felt very connected to the young lady beside me, as if I’d known her forever. ‘ Just shows how simple it is to connect to one another and how much energy we must put into being annoyed and staying in conflict. Like how much of the world’s resources are spent on weapons, on defenses, on military research and deployment, not to mention all the health related consequences of war well after the war is over? We really know how to complicate life!
I see this in my day, I use complication to avoid old hurts rather than reconnect with me and let them pass. Complications keep me distracted from the hurts which really are the pain of not staying present with me, which only choosing to return to me can heal. It’s very simple really.
Since reading this blog I’ve been considering what the difference is between standing/sitting and talking, and walking and talking together. When we stand or sit, we stay put so although the words may change, we stay two people. Whereas when we walk, not only are we moving, we are connecting in a way that says come with me, walk beside me fellow brother, in harmony and the rhythm of life… a re-connection to a harmonious way.
Yes Paula, I have that sense too, that when we walk we connect in a way that is more natural to our being and like you say to connect to our fellow brother, a way that is mostly not our normal when we are stationary.
Walking and talking is a very enjoyable way to get to know others, and to keep current relationships flowing and in sync with what is there to be looked at or deepened.
A while ago I was visiting someone who was withdrawn and grieving, not much communication. I suggested we went for a walk and as we walked I gently offered my hand, after a moment or two they placed their hand in mine and we walked together. It was beautiful to feel the connection that was made.
‘We spoke in depth about our feelings and how we’re not just boy and girl in our own little bubble.’ Simple wisdom Leigh, so very true, you cannot hold on to something when you walk, talk and are open to connect.
Walking and talking together can be a heaven sent opportunity to discuss issues that may be deemed sensitive or tricky. It is amazing how often things get resolved in a way that honours both parties and doesn’t leave feelings of bitterness or resentment.
When we give permission for our body to express, it does so freely and effortlessly. Letting go of the imposed constraints and control we often place on our body…
Walking and talking is an amazing way for people to be on mutual territory if you like, when working through something. Just being outside really helps bring a reminder of how big the world is and the problems feel less like the end of the world, than they do when cooped up inside having an argument over something.
When we walk and talk it seems harder to remain stuck in the issue. I may try for a little while but by the end of the walk there is so much more freedom and space in my body that what ever I try to hold onto dissolves, and the conversation is clearer, with more understanding and much more loving.
The expression of love can be easily expressed through people coming together from an openness and understanding and walking and talking.
Walking diffuses situations, especially with the intention to connect. And as you say, it takes us out of our heads and into our bodies, and so much more wisdom can come from there. It is so simple yet so powerful.
I love how you have broken it down Leigh, something so simple and yet so profoundly supportive for conflict resolution and relationship evolution!
New billboard:
Walk and talk for conflict resolution and relationship evolution.
It is not so a familiar concept to walk with another with no outcome needed other than to connect and bring our presence back to the body and this moment. However it can provide an opportunity for alchemy and change.
I used to believe ‘me time’ was doing activities my mind wanted to do, like TV and gaming. But walking with no goal or point B, walking with me has been a life changer.
Our thoughts, speech and movements are governed by the way that we move (the way that we move not being limited to the way that we move our bodies but inclusive of our thoughts and speech as well) and when we hold our bodies we are in a certain configuration, that will ensure that a certain configuration of thoughts, movements and speech will come into the body. So, when you think about it, when we are having an argument we tend to lock down with our bodies, our speech becomes louder, harder and more forceful and there is a rigidity to everything. Consider then the action of walking, by it’s very nature it introduces movement, which invites a change in posture and a change in the bodies angles and all of these things lead to a change in thoughts and speech. Magical yes but also scientific.
Thank you Leigh. It is great to read about people braking the mould of what relationships are and how they can be, to overcome the challenges of disagreement and bring understanding, intimacy and connection instead.
This makes a lot of sense because as we walk energy moves, if we sit and talk things can stagnate and get heavy and stuck, whereas if we walk and talk we’re moving and things are moving, and as you say it’s a lot harder to stay stuck in something.
When we are willing we can move mountains. The body loves to move and it has no need to hang onto stuff, whereas the mind can be a bit more stubborn.
That is a great point Victoria, the mind definitely ca be very stubborn whereas the body wants to keep moving and deepening its love. Our body is very much on our side when it comes to returning back to and living the love that we are.
Yes the body is our true and wise teacher, every moment it gives us signals by reflection, it is honest and loving in this respect. And we simply need to listen.
And what I love about the body is that it will continue giving us signs slowly getting more and more extreme until we stop and listen to it. It never ever gives up on us.
Powerful blog Leigh, thank you for sharing your wisdom. I am realising how important it is to connect with myself and others no matter what I do. I also, find walking and talking is like a therapy session when I am open and willing to connect.
There is a real beauty on walking with others whilst connecting and sharing. I had not considered it in depth before, but the walking does allow more openness and I find myself to be more relaxed through the moment than I do just simply sitting down and talking with another.
Thanks Leigh – this is such a different way of connecting with another and being intimate. Yes it is true when we move our bodies and discuss in truth it is a therapy for the whole body. Walking and talking is gold but not done enough or talked about enough.
What powerfully simple wisdom Leigh! Considering the amount of time we have for distractions and entertainment such as TV there is absolutely no excuse why domestic violence should even exist especially as healing the issues and tensions is so simple as you have shown.
And walks don’t have to be long and arduous. Even 10/15/30 minutes long. I’ve found my relationships with others grows far more than watching hours of TV in the same room as each other – I don’t say together as I’ve never really felt connected to the other when both focusing on the screen.
I agree Leigh. I remember some years ago when my nephew suggested to take his girlfriend to the movies before he was going away on holiday and not going to see her for 3 weeks my niece saying: ‘If I was your girlfriend I would rather go for a walk and a picnic with you so I could talk to you than sit in the dark next to you without any communication and connection.’
I love the simplicity of your blogs Leigh! Accessible, wise and true!
Movements are the root cause of an argument ( when you are not moving in all that you are, instead being protected or withdrawal e.g) , so it is more than logical and you are a great living proof, that movements bring us out of the entanglement as well.
So true – all our movements lead to an argument, so if we move ourselves into something it makes total sense that we can move ourselves out of it.
When having a standing disagreement/argument it can be easy to cement yourself into place. Much harder when those fortress walls start walking!
Absolutely- the interesting bit: the part in us that wants to argue does not want to move. Lovingly discipline and discernment is very helpful in these situations.
What you share here, Leigh, is so true.. I found that talking a problem through with someone whilst walking so more productive than when sitting.
Leigh I love your awareness of movement and how powerful it can be.
She is sharing the simplicity of movement how it can make such a difference.
Awesome what you have shared here and I agree there is definitely a difference between sitting and talking with someone and walking and talking with someone and that is the movement of our body. It feels as though when we walk and talk there is more of a potential to be reflective with both ourselves and the other and there is more of a togetherness (a oneness). There have been a few moments when walking in a street mine and a ‘strangers’ footsteps and fallen in line with each other and for a brief moment I can feel the flow and unity the openness and equality as we walk together it is really quite lovely to feel.
If it was the intention to connect that made all the difference in your walking experiment it shows the power of sharing openly when first there is the basis of connection, to hold whatever is shared.
Walking is a beautiful activity and especially when it is shared with other person
This is also my experience Leigh, my husband and I can have great discussions on our walks or sometimes we simply walk and appreciate the beautiful place we live in. Also, if anything is up with anyone I know I have always found that it gets sorted very quickly by going for a walk with each other
I love the way you explain how supporting walking is when we need to ‘get out of our head’. Standing stationary leaves a lot of room for calculations and complications but walking and talking supports us to get to the simple truth.
It is hard to stay mad at someone when you are holding hands, and part of us wants to be stubborn and try to stay in our funk, but as you walk and talk things start to shift. What I find interesting is that people have mentioned going to a therapists office for years with no significant improvement or understanding of their situation. Maybe outside in a park will be the future of the therapist office.
Yes I love that idea. I hadn’t considered how the immobility of an issue is exacerbated by the lack of motion in our bodies but it makes sense – enough sense to give it a go!
I too prefer to walk and talk as the movement frees up any stuck energy in my body and what seemed like an issue often resolves very easily and a way forward opens up that is loving and supportive for both.
I agree – when standing or sitting, especially I have found when in a car, we can get caught into what we are talking about and it can escalate, because the energy is just sitting and magnifying in the body. When we walk, it brings us out of the mind and gives us the space to let go and open up, so go beyond the tensions and clash.
When I need to discuss something with someone I love to go walking with them. The walking provides a lovely flow, which allows things to get clearer as we walk.
What a great way of approaching being with another by choosing an activity where the intention is specifically to connect, and walking together with this foundation is a wonderful tool for that.
Sometimes , when I have been presenting to a group who have been sitting for a long period of time, I get them to stand up and walk around the room and then come back to their chairs. It’s like magic. The movement has the effect of resetting the energy of the group and they often comment on it. There is clearly something very powerful in ‘walking and talking’, I have no doubt having experienced it many times.
Leigh what a great point “Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere has been supported by my willingness to be present with myself, – while learning to express my feelings is making it easier be open and transparent with another. ” as for so much of life we use walking to get from Point A to Point B and the points are the focus, I love how you bring the real magic and evolution opportunity to light with walking with another with no purpose other than to connect.
“It’s the quality in which we relate to each other during our walk and the honesty and depth of the conversation that makes these moments what they are.”
Walking is medicine; moving, expressing, relating love the simplicity of what you shared here Leigh.
Simple wisdom, Leigh, thank you. Universal Medicine has given us so many practical tools to use in everyday life to stay connected with ourselves, our bodies and one another.
I have also found it is not just the act of walking itself which helps in any conversation but the quality of how I am walking or moving which makes the difference. Holding hands with tenderness and senstivity is definitely part of this quality as it creates an open space for us both to express and connect. The other part is both parties being responsbile and aware of how they are walking and moving their bodies and focusing on the quality of this movement as they are walking and talking. It is very magical and beautiful what happens then…
I love this Leigh – having been a consistent walker on my own I feel inspired to bring this into my relationships across the board. I work in what can be a pressured environment and I feel that taking some of the team members for a walk and a talk will be a great way for us to work on staying centered amongst the fast-paced environment.
I LOVE walking and talking with friends and my husband too Leigh. it ticks all the boxes, being in nature and watching it constantly change, feeling a flow in the body as it moves, which supports our conversations, it is very refreshing and reviving.
I have often found also that if I am engaged in a conversation and I am stationary then it is easier to be rooted to the spot and ‘dig my heels in’ about things but when I am walking there is something more flowing about the movement that keeps me more free and flexible and more open to the other person.
I would have to say how much I have taken the walkie talkie thing for granted but through your article I can see how important it has been in my relationships. Such a simple thing and just think of how much money people could save in counselling if they just got off their butts and walked together and alone as well, for the connection to oneself when walking alone can only be good for connecting to others also.
When we make life about connection to ourselves and to another why would we not make the space or find the time to go for a walk when something arises? Could it be that we like to indulge in our issues because of a greater love though making a choice to go for a walk is on offer? Thank you Leigh for sharing your livingness with us.
I have also participated in the activity where we walk with another and I could feel a flow and rhythm to our movement that felt natural we seemed to be both moving as one. We didn’t feel the need to talk as it felt as though our bodies were doing the talking for us as our bodies adjusted themselves as we walk together. To not engage the mind but to just walk with our bodies was a very beautiful experience for me.
I’m experiencing too the power of walking while talking with others. Specially when there is a disagreement with someone, by simply moving myself, being aware of my movements when I walk and connecting to the other, that just in itself makes the difference. The shift in the energy is easily felt, as the movement allows everything to flow and we can take distance from the subject is being talked about and go deeper. When we are static, it’s easy to feel identified with what we think, feel and say (which is static too). When we move, some stuff simply get dissipated and then there is space available to receive the other, so as the sharing as the encounter are more possible.
Walking and talking with another while holding their hand deepens our connection as we move in harmony and in step with each other.
It is interesting to look at why we are moving les and les and sitting more and more because a lot of work is done at a desk behind a computer, but also at homes where the TV is the center piece we all gather. Is there something to learn from this movement in our lives and in society where the tendency is to sit more and move less. Could it be that what is presented in this blog could be the answer to many of the problems that occur in our personal lives and in society from this lack of movement.
The one thing that contributes to the decline in resident’s health and mood in care homes is being cooped up inside all day with little physical activity, particularly walking. One care home with extensive grounds and gardens has recently introduced walking groups in summer and includes residents in wheelchairs and walkers and gives staff and residents an opportunity to walk and talk together.
One doctor in London conducted a social experiment with drug free clinics. As an alternative, he prescribed regular group walks five days a week for patients with heart conditions. Results after three months included: improvements in blood pressure, weight loss, mood enhancement and general feelings of well being.
Reference: BBC The Doctor Who Gave Up Drugs.
Yes Leigh, totally agree with you, walking and talking is awesome as it opens you up in ways that sitting and talking just don’t do. And I too, find that sitting and talking can take me into my head and trying to work out what to say.
When you are stubborn your body contracts, but when you walk and talk the body finds it difficult to stay contracted and loosens your tongue.
‘I’ve found the difference between sitting or standing and talking, and walking and talking, is that it has you engage with your body.’ – so true, Leigh, taking a walk, even if it’s only a few steps, can instantly diffuse tension in a situation. Through the movement of walking, it invites connection back with the body and our bodies are continuously working to bring us back to our natural state of harmony.
‘And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk.’ – it’s beautiful to feel the love you both share for each other and your commitment to honesty and truth, not allowing an opening for things to be left unsaid so they can fester, leaving an opening for misunderstandings and then separation to occur.
Very true that I began all of my partner relationships with walking and talking, it feels more solid than being invited to a dinner or a movie, the usual dating techniques and thanks Leigh you have inspired me to put more of this statistic on the internet.
I completely agree with you Leigh that is my experience too. My husband and I religiously have a long walk together every morning and it is a wonderful way to start the day.
That is beautiful Nicola. My partner and I walk to the train station together when we go to work most days and even though the walk is fairly short it supports a beautiful connection. This blog and your comment help me to appreciate what a loving foundation this choice provides.
It is priceless because not only do I walk with him but also with myself and of course in that connection with all.
Walking and talking together offers an opportunity not only to connect, and perhaps clear any issues, but also to come into a natural flow and rhythm with another that allows so much space and feels timeless.
Having one person willing to be open to connect and even be a little vulnerable perhaps is such a beautiful gift to receive that there is a natural surrender to accepting such a heart felt invitation that the head-full of protection doesn’t get much opportunity to kick in.
The perfect partnership walking and talking. Walking is certainly more than just exercise.
I’m struck by the powerful simplicity of holding hands bringing deep connection, with the beingness of the person.
“When the intention is to simply connect, none of the conditions that usually play out, such as ‘I need to get to know you before being open to what may happen,’ are necessary. We simply connected and walked together.” Conditions and pictures complicate.
Leigh it is also my experience that issues seem harder to stick whilst the body is in movement. It takes considerable effort to stay annoyed whilst walking and yet whilst we are stationary, it’s the opposite, it’s much harder to let go of disagreements.
True and as your comment above it may not be scientifically proven but my mood drastically changes when I have the intention to move in a lighter way out of feeling heavy or grumpy, many times doing something like walking on my tippy toes and after a little while it feels like I’ve shaken off the negative emotions/feeling in my body. Better than delving further into the problem or drugs/behaviours to numb myself away from the pain.
Leigh the power of walking and talking together has yet to be recognised but there will come a time when the therapeutic benefits of walking and talking together will be commonly known and practiced and the actual science of talking whilst walking will be well known and documented.
I have found it highly responsive when I commit to connection as Leigh explains, all else is forgotten and a newly formed relationship establishes.
Heated office meetings would feel completely different if they were discussed over a walk.
Yes perhaps in the future office will be completely re-designed with circular walkways so that meetings can be held while walking!
Great point! Connection is everything in meetings- imagining people walking together, when there is something to resolve would be an amazing support to not get stuck in who is right or wrong e.g.. The movements and the connection would simply not allow it.
So simple and I can say in my own experience very true, there’s something magic about sharing a walk with someone, it gives a space and a context beyond the conversation we may have and allows for so many other ways to communicate, how we move together, how we touch. It’s so much more than just a head to head chat, and all the more whole for it.
I find that if I’m feeling tense from the day and I go for a walk when I come back I feel so much lighter, so it makes sense that when we walk and talk we are letting go of tension and therefore making it easier to be open and hear what another has to say.
Quite simply, utterly game-changing. What you present here is so stunning, simple, accessible, true, serving and evolutionary. Thank you for shinning a bright light on this absolute gold.
I know this to be true because I feel it in your words. The power of what you present is delivered through the fact that you have, excuse the pun, walked your talk.
And that is I’ve found the most inspiring way to present something. If it’s lived it’s more solid than just a rambling head that can sound good or convincing or logical.
In our family, we call it ‘white noise’. It’s like static on a radio – can’t make out the truth amongst all the garble.
Haha that’s hilarious Otto, yes most definitely walking your talk Leigh! What a breath of fresh air this is in a world full of ideals and belief!
Thank you Leigh for sharing your experiences of walking and talking. I appreciated your perspectives on the difference with sitting and talking, which doesn’t engage the body as much and can lead to an over focus on the mind alone. Lots of amazing points here to ponder on, thank you.
Great that you shared this Leigh as I am sure that so many people can relate. Going for a walk and chatting with my partner really helps me to breakdown any of the barriers that I have built up in my day, to strip them back and return to a sense of feeling just me again – unimpeded upon and free to walk with my own movements again. The fact that we always walk and bathe in the beauty of nature and the absolute delight that is our young Son just adds to the gorgeousness of the whole experience; it is very difficult (and rather uncomfortable) to hold onto past hurts or previous experiences or even over-analyse things when you simply walk and talk..
I love the way you say, Leigh, that you can walk alongside many during the day, so why would you be any different with them. It is so true we walk beside our equal brothers every day. Let’s be the Love that we are with all, even though we may not physically take everyone’s hand – or maybe we will???
I can have interactions with someone passing me on the street where we absolutely connect, it lasts maybe two seconds but it was there and it was perfect connection – I love it when I am that open to the world. It baffles me why I did my heels in and then go about all protected and not open to connection.
I love walking and talking with others. Every week I talk with a friend from another country and we call it ‘twalking’ because we talk as we walk… it doesn’t matter if there is big distance physically between us, we feel each other by intimately sharing how we are together. For me walking and talking is an amazing opportunity to come to answers and feel my body and how I really feel about something that I haven’t realised while staying stationary.
Walking engages the body and makes us therefore more present while standing and its static stance or even sitting can easily deteriorate into postulating, demanding, laying down the law and domineering if not bullying.
I love walking and talking together and find a real love for the rhythm of our steps and the ease in which envelopes our conversation and bodies when we move in this way. My partner and I love to go for regular walks and talk and not only to deepen our relationship but it’s a chance to also enjoy nature together which is also a great reflection for life and how we live it.
Yes Kelly, it is to experience the wonder of nature together that makes us remember we are not individual but so much more connected to one another then we think we are from our mind.
There is an equal-ness that is felt when walking with another, which makes it easier to be open and honest, particularly when we have something we may find difficult to express. As we share the truth of how we feel, our bodies expand with the love being shared, which, energetically, takes us into our next step, making it easier to deepen our sharing with each other with each and every step.
‘I can say that it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk.’ … what a powerful revelation, showing how we can equally apply this to every aspect of our lives. With a willingness to be open with each other, there is an invitation for the other person to drop their guard and so a foundation of mutual trust and truth begins.
“Taking time to walk with another with no intention or need to get somewhere” – that’s a biggie isn’t it? Just allowing ourselves to be us, in our bodies, with no intention, outcome or need to get anywhere. It is a loving work in progress for me.
Yes and there are the ‘different’ qualities of walks. I read that as well and took note of how I walk with my wife and it triggered a ‘yes’ in me.
More often now I’m meeting people to walk and talk, rather than sit in a cafe or restaurant. There’s an intimacy that comes with walking with another.
A very basic and easily accessible therapy, walking therapy. You can access it at anytime, anywhere, with anyone. This is how my relationship started as well by simply going for walks together. Face to face you can seem to ‘lock horns’ with people but when you are walking beside them there isn’t that air of confrontation or if it’s there you can’t hold it for long. This article has reminded me of a lot and one is the value in a walk together and how refreshing that movement is and can be at any point.
I love the simplicity of what you share Leigh. There is great virtue in walking and talking together because such movement can shift what we have become ‘stuck’ in, so we do not cement further within it but instead find settlement in a way of relating to each other that is based on the warmth of physical connection and not the ‘war of the minds’. It is difficult to go into separation and protection and the ensuing ‘us versus them, who is right and who is wrong’ mentality when we are meeting with another in this way.
I would love to do more walking and talking at work! I wonder if people’s reluctance to walk and talk is because, staying sedentary, you can stay stuck in your stuff. It’s very common when working with young people who find the formal counselling session a little intimidating, youth workers go for walks with them and that’s when they’ll open up. Walking can bring attention to the body and a confidence from that.
It is like when we stay stationary we can become stuck and dig our heels in yet the movement of walking helps us to let things go and move through them.
Great blog Leigh! Some really useful practical advice coupled with some cool observations. Thank you for sharing them.
When we stay seated it’s as though we can stay put. So with whatever we are bringing up, we can stay with that instead of choosing to move through it. When walking, we are moving and so the things we bring up are already in movement.
great analogy!
It’s a great point Leigh, walking together is a great form of counselling – self counselling as it’s as if you’re movement plays the role of any counsellor.
I love this Leigh. Such a simple yet profound way to deeply connect with another without the drama and emotion that may otherwise occur if the converstaion was to be had over a cup of tea or the dinner table. Possibly a new approach of counselling for couples?!
Beautiful to hear how you have been “deepening our trust in each other, making our relationship much more open” when you walk and talk together. I love going for a walk with someone. It feels different to sitting down and having a cup of tea. As I learn more about the value of our movements and how they affect our energy walking and talking makes a lot of sense.
There is a lot of things to discover going on between us all of the time, even though we do not speak it verbally. I would say that we mostly communicate non verbally and the verbal is just accommodating that, hopefully. It can also be easy to say one thing but energetically communicate another. Voicing out the love between us is quite magical.
Yes expressing love is exquisite. We self-sabotage when we choose anything else.
Being in movement gives us the opportunity to change energy with every movement we make, or rather if we have chosen an ill energy we have to keep actively choosing it while moving with our bodies, yet when we are fixed in one position the energy that then comes through (i.e. anger or frustration) will build in strength and as time goes by will be harder to get out of.
Beautiful Leigh, it’s true that when we are walking alongside each other it can be more easy to open up, be honest and not protect ourselves as much as when we are sitting opposite each other. Also I have found that many people focus on the other when sitting in conversation whereas the movement of a gentle walk brings the focus back to what we can feel from our bodies.
You made a great point about being with ourselves while we walk. There is something in our walk when we chose to be present with our body, allowing our quality within to be present in our stride. We become clearer on our truth of the divinity we are as our mind quiets and we express from our body.
Going for a walk is a great way to get to know someone, it can be far more intimate than going for a meal or out for a drink.
Absolutely, l can relate to this Alison. Profound truth.
What a great therapy Leigh, one that appears to be so simple but one that has profound results. “And if the situation is not resolved, we don’t brush it aside. Instead we go around the block again, continuing to walk and talk.” This made me smile as I recalled many tense relationship situations in my life when we would have probably needed to continue walking around the block many times.
I loved it ..’walking and talking ‘
Yes walking together can bring so much more depth to a relationship when talking about something that matters and not just small talk. I love going for a walk together with my partner just for this reason, and it is not so much about where we go or how far we go but the quality of our walk that matters and makes that I love it.
I have found that the closer I get with my partner and the deeper the love we share, the more simple the love becomes. Sometimes the simplest touch can feel the most loveliest expression. It’s all about connection and how open you are and how much love you let out and in that makes all the difference
“it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.” When not feeling ourselves, that contact and connection has a great chance of bringing us back round, coupled with the walk there’s even less chance for things to get stuck. It’s my experience too Leigh that it’s great ‘couples’ therapy.
If we make our focus simply about being in connection with our bodies, we would have harmony as a fundamental reference point we would keep wanting to come back to. From there we wouldn’t ‘look’ for the things to nit-pick and find fault in.
When two people face each other it can easily become a confrontational fixed stance, whereas walking beside each other they are in fluid motion with an opportunity to feel each other rather than look at each other. Obviously with face to face there is the beauty of gazing in their eyes, but that can also feel vulnerable for some. I love the way you describe how delicate an introduction walking and holding hands can be Leigh.
It has also been my experience that when there is something that needs to be said, walking seems to help clarify the situation.
Leigh what strikes me is how I love to walk and talk with another person be it my partner, friend, associate etc.. however I’ve never really considered that as a therapy. Yet it is one of those simple things that has so much power it can change the rest of the moments in my life.
I agree, walking is just something we do and yet here we have in a simple everyday exercise the foundation for it to be ‘used’ as a point to refresh or move through even the toughest of barriers. It brings new meaning to the term, ‘walk it off’. We relate walking as exercise to burn the kilos and yet we can use it also to lighten our mood or being. We carry around so many things both physically and psychologically and now we can simply walk them off.
I love going for walks with people, either just as a way to catch up and connect, but also if there are every any issues we need to work out or talk over, a walk allows space for us to focus less on the issue and more on being together, taking the tension and otherwise potential for escalation out of the equasion.
I got to feel a beautiful connection in a swim I was swimming passed someone and as I swam past I could feel there was a deep communication between us, and if I can feel that with one other person then I must be able to feel that with everyone. I used to think that the barriers that I put up to keep the world out worked but this swim showed me that a loving connection towards another passes through the barriers as though they were not there. Hence the expression that true love conquers all.
“… it’s very hard to stay mad at someone while feeling the warmth of their palm in yours, holding their hand, walking alongside them.” It is very true that this contact and the moving together greatly helps maintaining intimacy and an open heart when otherwise one more likely would move apart, as you share Leigh.
This is so inspiring Leigh. Thank you for sharing so openly with us all.
” But I can walk alongside many people during my day so what made this different? I can say that it was the intention ”
Intention relates to everything we do , the intention influences the outcome of anything we do.
An intention, can’t be completed without motion! When an issue arises and reaches an impasse, doesn’t it normally mean the issue is stuck?
I agree that when stationary it’s much easier to stay stuck in a mental construct or hurt but when we go for a walk with the intention to connect and be open then that quality of movement in the body helps pull us out of an emotional reaction.
Walking with myself with no intention other than to be with myself and have a talk, discussing how I feel about things and how the quality I am speaking in makes me feel has shifted me out of stuff many a time. These days not so much as when I walk with myself there is more joy than issues.
Love what you are sharing here Leigh. You say – ‘it was the intention to connect and be open with this person that made the difference during our walk.’ – What this points out is that whether or not we connect to other people is simply a matter of choice.
Loving your expression Leigh – keep these awesome blogs coming through!
Hi Leigh, this is great that you can both resolve issues with simple movements like walking hand in hand. Yes it is very easy for rants to go round and round and you definitely need something to break the stony silence that ensues when you both feel that the other is not listening or understanding. Gentle movements and changes in posture can make such a difference to our mood.
This is a really gorgeous observation Leigh. I’ve noticed that when people walk and talk with each other they have a lightness and joy in their bodies, they seem to flow more than most of the people I observe walking alone. I feel this reflects how powerful it is to connect to another.
The difference between talking sitting down and walking and speaking is unmistakable. I have a friend who insisted we do this and it totally revolutionised our connection. If we as a world walked and talked more, just imagine the changes we would see. Thank you Leigh.
When we move in connection our bodies naturally adjust to what is needed, and then the head clears and clarity returns.
It’s so true what you say, Leigh, about the benefits of walking and movement in general, in being able to re-connect to the body rather than stay stuck in the mind which can lead us round in circles and often into a bit of rant!
Reading this, I’m aware of how I’ve often wanted to walk and talk with someone because I’ve needed them to understand me, rather than being truly open to my part in the equation, too. When we’re willing to be honest with ourselves about what we’re feeling, without self judgment or criticism, and taking full responsibility for our own feelings by not blaming others for how we feel, sharing ourselves with another becomes naturally easier. Increased self-honesty = increased ease with transparency.
I love this Leigh. I am absolutely with you on this and how awesome it would be if we could get business partners to walk together, directors of companies to walk together and bring those that find making resolutions difficult around the table have them share a walk, could this be the way in the future?
Some great observations Leigh about how deeply connecting it can be when we walk with another. I find when I’m simply being myself with another I often drift and bump into them as if we are being pulled together. It’s a lovely feeling simply being with another purely to connect.
I have noticed this too – when I am being myself and at ease with another during a walk, there is an unmistakable pull towards the other person, like two magnets.
It is so gorgeous to see and appreciate how when we connect with another we naturally are pulled to be together which shows that in essence we are all the same.