My Relationship With Me And My Body

What I have noticed recently is that the way I am in one relationship has a direct impact on how I am in all my other relationships. This shows me the responsibility I have to not hold back in any relationships and to be open with everyone I meet. I have spent so many years putting on a façade that I am OK, so it is a big change to be more transparent about what is really going on for me.

For me a huge barrier in deepening my relationships has been my propensity to play the ‘nice’ card. This is my default position in any situation and means that for so long I have suppressed any feelings of hurt, frustration and rage in order to not “rock the boat.” The wall of protection I have erected means that the other person cannot see my vulnerability and then I am left with the intense pain of feeling isolated and that nobody understands me. Once I put myself in the position of being a victim of circumstances it is an easy step to feeling powerless rather than choosing to take responsibility for working through my issues, and letting go of waiting to be rescued by others.

Dismantling the persona that I have displayed to the world has been an ongoing process, which has been accelerated recently with my renewed commitment to becoming more honest in my relationships. I have also started to take deeper care of my body, which is such an amazing and sometimes painful reflection of where I am at. In the past so many of my actions were disregarding of my body, e.g. being rough in my movements and expecting it to cope with whatever I decided to do, often without enough rest and eating foods that I know do not agree with me.

Earlier this year I had a cyst on my breast that erupted like a boil and was intensely painful. It was also an incredible reminder of how much I have not taken care of myself as a woman and have held back from expressing in so many situations for fear of being rejected. With the guidance and support of my doctor, I have taken several courses of antibiotics, had repeated scans and discussions with specialist consultants, and the lump is settling somewhat. I am now deciding whether to have the remaining lump removed.

As well as being supported by the medical profession, I am nurturing myself as a woman. I have obtained a beautiful essential oil blend from a friend that I am lovingly applying twice a day. The difference already is clear to see and I feel much more accepting of what my body is showing me. The daily changes in how the lump is provides a marker of how I have been in my day – how connected I have been to myself and how much I have cared for myself, in whatever I am doing.

In this process I have had the support of lots of different people who have been amazing, and I have been open to accepting it all and not feeling that I have to do it ‘on my own.’ This has been a massive shift for me. I know that this cyst happened for a reason and I have embraced the learning that is being offered.

When I sat down to write, I intended to write about a particular relationship and how this is supporting me to be more open with others, but what I am now feeling is that the most important relationship I have is the one with myself. It is only when I can truly become intimate with myself and willingly share this with others that all my other relationships have the opportunity to expand.

For me, being intimate has included appreciating and celebrating that I am a woman, and that I have an innate beauty – a beauty that I have struggled to accept in the past. This has been a very gradual process, which has involved being willing to really listen to and appreciate what other people were saying to me, and letting go of all the negative tapes in my head that told me I was not enough.

Committing to exchanging texts with a friend each day – nominating different aspects that we appreciate about ourselves – has supported me to confirm my growing awareness of what I have to offer to myself and others. The deepening and equalness I feel within this relationship is something that I now take into my other relationships, which increases my connection with them.

Recognising that my foundational relationship is the one that I have with myself, and that it is my responsibility to commit to exposing anything that compromises this, as well as truly accept and appreciate myself, is an ongoing journey. In the process, I am falling in love with myself, and it feels awesome.

By Helen Elliott, Ipswich UK

Related Reading:
A Sacred Relationship with Self – Inspired by Natalie Benhayon
Building love in our life
Esoteric Women’s Health

755 thoughts on “My Relationship With Me And My Body

  1. Absoulutely😇 Helen, the way we live and share with others opens us to True Intimacy and thus the way we share the Joy and Love❤️ that we feel is a direct relationship with how we are with the Harmonious state with others.

  2. “the most important relationship I have is the one with myself” As we deepen our love and care for ourselves this is felt and shared with everyone we meet.

  3. I know that what I can feel in my body is heaven and having reconnect back to this feeling it is now my responsibility to feel that return with every breath I take and every move I make. When I get ahead of myself with thoughts, work, or must get on and ‘do’ life, which means make it all about me. I lose that sense of equanimity in my body and I’m learning to stop and bring it back.

  4. If ever I have a gripe or issue with another I know 100% that it won’t be solved by looking at them. I have to look at how that same thing plays out between me and my body/me and my essence. Sort that, whatever was going on between me and another dissipates.

    1. This is so true Leigh the other day I was with someone who was being petulant, and I became just as petulant in my mannerisms too. That solves nothing because it’s the same energy feeding the same energy so there is no chance for a different outcome. That’s how we get stuck and go around in circles of life all feeding off the same negative energy.

  5. As we deepen our Love, how could we not but Truly-appreciate the divinity we all hold and thus express this in all we do so we reflect our divine essences, inner-heart or Soul (all one and the same).

  6. Thanks Helen, be great to get a follow up blog about how you are now, your relationship to yourself and how life has changed for you. I appreciated reading your blog again, our body is always speaking to us and sometimes it‘a not about something we need to stop doing, but about embracing how incredible we are and to begin to live that – bring out the all we are. We are generally not confirmed in our essence in life, in our qualities, so we move through life without realising the beauty within and the gem we each are, yet the body is so blessed by us connecting to and letting out in full our essence, and it will let us know with different symptoms if we are not doing this.

  7. “I am falling in love with myself, and it feels awesome.” What a great reminder to commit to loving ourselves unreservedly.

    1. And the heavens, with all our focus being on what is available to come in and through our divine essences, deepens all our relationships. As we are becoming aware of the foundation of Love we all are, then the constellations also support our evolution and return to being Soul-full.

  8. I know I have completely changed my opinion about myself and my body. I did not realise just how hard I was on my self always negative and constantly giving myself a hard time with the belief that if I hit myself first then what anyone else did wasn’t so bad because I had already harmed myself and no one could harm me as much as myself. I would still be in this cycle of self abuse if I hadn’t met Serge Benhayon. The teachings of Universal Medicine have given me and many others a different aspect on life and ourselves there is truly a different simple way to be and it is so very worth living as instead of being negative and giving myself a hard time I am learning how to love and appreciate myself which is far more sustaining and nourishing for my body.

    1. On reading this I have reflected and felt that actually I first didn’t really know what disregard was, but more to the point how much I was in disregard with myself!!!!! Being the beacon of light Universal Medicine truly is brought this to my awareness and shone a spotlight on it for me to first see and then heal. My relationship with myself and others now is completely different and one to deeply appreciate .. not perfect and there is always room to learn, be more aware, deepen and love more than ever before.

      1. I agree with you Vicky that Universal Medicine is a beacon of light offering an true alternative if one choses to heal our relationship with ourselves first which has a natural knock on effect of how we are with all others. It’s such a simple yet very magical way to live.

  9. Our bodies are incredible – we are amazing and each of us unique yet each of us a different spark and expression of God.

    1. Our bodies are so sensitive and finely tuned to what will support us – we have been given this instrument to access all that we are and yet most of the time we completely ignore it.

  10. Becoming more honest and open with myself supports more open and honest relationships with others. Which in turn, the deeper other relationships go the more is revealed about myself.

    1. “Which in turn, the deeper other relationships go the more is revealed about myself” and what I have also found is that the deeper I go with myself then the deeper my other relationships naturally go.

  11. Being the-nice-guy and or trying-to help other actually shows the disrespect and disregard we have for another as we all learn from reflection not from preaching.

    1. I know, but until we are shown that because of the false life we run with we actually make ourselves sick, it is not something we stop to consider in this mad rush we are in to achieve, to win through to feel secure in a world that is deliberately run so we feel insecure. That’s just one of the games being played that we do not want to admit to.

    2. And it’s not as if the ‘personalities that are not us’ are anything special, they’re not, in fact compared to the truth of who we all naturally are they are a pretty shonky product.

  12. We are not encouraged to be honest with ourselves so therefore it would make sense not to behave honestly towards another. I feel we live in a pretend world that so long as everything looks okay on the surface it doesn’t matter what is happening at the deeper level. And yet we are dissatisfied with this way of being which is why we spend so much time distracting ourselves because at some level we do know we are faking it by not being honest.

  13. Growing self and our relationship with self actually supports us in our relationships with others too.

  14. Helen isn’t that fascinating that your lump in your breast is providing a maker of how you have been in your day and how much you have cared for yourself or not.

  15. “Dismantling the persona that I have displayed to the world has been an ongoing process” – Helen this is very powerful when we allow ourselves to be honest and realise the roles we can play in society and with people. Being you in all you do is very powerful, but is a process in allowing yourself to do so if you are not used to it. Thanks for the fantastic reminder!

    1. I agree ‘dismantling the persona’ is literally taking us back to the very essence of ourselves – no more hiding and holding back on our amazingness, and allowing others to meet the ‘real me’ is a total revelation to both ourselves and to those who have only known us when meeting us through the thick fog that we have created. Stripping us back to our essence is raw and very beautiful and allows that spark to shine so brightly.

      1. I know from my recent visit to see my family that my relationship with them has deepened I felt this from the messages I received thanking me for making the long drive to go and see them all.
        I also know that because I have deepened my relationship with myself I am far more respectful and honoring of what I actually can feel. This self honoring naturally changes how I am with everyone including my family the beauty of this is that everyone benefits from the changes I have made.
        I am just one person but imagine if we all worked on our issues and hurts so that they no longer simmered just below the surface colouring our interaction on life. Then everyone would benefit and the world we lived in would be completely different to the one we live in now.

  16. How amazing that you are feeling and celebrating your innate beauty! That is sooooo cool ✨❤️

      1. The power we hold within our body is to be deeply appreciated and shared with the Universe ad finitum. No holding back.

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