I’ve been on the ‘missing list’ for the majority of my life. Along with a lot of other ‘missing’ folk.
And the truth is, I have really missed me not being around.
I, like so many others, had access to a knowingness as a child of how we could and should be. I was aware of it from an early age. I didn’t speak often but when I did, it was for all.
I spoke up about abuse and I loved humanity. However, it wasn’t long before I made a choice to keep quiet to avoid being told ‘the world didn’t work that way’ and that ‘I thought like a communist.’ I didn’t know what that was but it didn’t sound real good. And so I lost my ability to express.
I lost my innate sexiness as a woman in my early teens, right after I discovered it actually.
It was quenched by a family member whose own hurts told me not to flaunt who I was or someone would take advantage of me for doing so.
But here’s the thing – I wasn’t ‘flaunting’ it, wasn’t ‘selling myself’ as I was being accused of, I was merely feeling what being a gorgeous young woman was all about and I was celebrating that.
And it felt good.
I wasn’t doing anything to deliberately attract the ogling eyes of men, though I was accused of it.
I wasn’t parading myself through areas where men hung out to attract their attention. In fact, I soon learnt to avoid those places because I didn’t appreciate the offensive behaviour of the men hanging out of pub windows or building sites making crude comments about me, or the wolf whistling. It made me feel uncomfortable.
I wasn’t baring my breasts for all to see and I wasn’t wiggling my buttocks in an effort to attract the attention of anyone who would look.
What I did feel though, was a movement in my body that had a lovely flow when I walked, I enjoyed the feel of fabric around my body, I loved the soft curves my body was developing and the twinkle in my eyes that lit up my face when I looked in the mirror.
Slowly, that twinkle in the eye that I used to love when I saw myself in the mirror started to wane, eventually flickering out.
The sadness of missing myself started to set in and I slowly disappeared.
All that was left was the shell of who I used to be; who I actually am. When I looked in the mirror there was no light left to shine out to the world.
I wore clothes to hide what was underneath.
I began to walk in a way that made me less than who I was. It was a walk that sauntered my body along the street.
I walked without authority. I walked in fact and deliberately so, to make myself not stand out. I walked the walk that said “I don’t care about myself.”
I just wanted to fit in with what the majority of my age group had decided was acceptable.
I chose to be, to the best of my ability, a zombie. It simply brought less attention my way. And it asked nothing of me.
And that is what I modelled to the world.
I obliged boyfriends even though I could feel in my body it wasn’t ok.
I physically worked like a man despite my body asking me not to.
I avoided mirrors and I ate what my taste buds desired and what would numb me.
There was a short phase of alcohol drinking in my late 30’s early 40’s after my marriage had broken up. It helped to further numb how I was feeling and it was socially acceptable. It made me feel like I was part of ‘the group’ but the after-effects made me feel like I was party to nothing!
I overrode every message my body was communicating with me.
When the emptiness became too much I began my journey searching out ways to reclaim myself back.
I wanted to reignite what had been there from the beginning. There were a lot of workshops attended and money spent that was difficult to find and unwisely spent.
The energetic imprint of some of those experiences held me back and created their own problems in my body.
The most wonderful thing though about that search was indeed the day I found my way to Serge Benhayon.
A flyer had arrived on my desk regarding his work and the workshops he was offering through Universal Medicine. I attracted a lot of similar brochures and business cards, all of which had been making their way to the bin. However, Serge’s remained on my desk, being shuffled around for close to six months before I made a move.
And so began my true journey back to me.
I, like so many others, have so much to appreciate this man for.
Serge Benhayon is so steady, walks the Truth he speaks and delivers in such a way that the Truth is felt in the body first and foremost. He provides a platform that is supportive for the change that is so desperately needed.
Sometimes I left his workshops angry at words he had spoken because they stirred a truth in me that I was not wanting to accept. Always I left his workshops a totally different person to the one who had arrived earlier in the day.
Regardless of the reaction, I always came home clearer than when I had left.
Gradually the excess weight started to disappear (approx. 20 kilos) and the self-appreciation is slowly returning. The blinkers obscuring the truth of this world and what I had been accepting as ‘normal’ have started to drop away.
Michael Benhayon has offered unwavering support on my journey back to me. The words ‘thank you’ substantially lack the grandness of what he has truly offered me.
What the Benhayons offer in their everyday livingness is inspirational, encouraging and it is so appreciated.
Despite the yearning for rediscovering my amazing self, I have come to understand that I can be pretty elusive. Out of fear, lack of self-appreciation, lack of self-love and self-worth, I can dodge, avoid and delay the most gorgeous rediscovery of me.
Slowly though, I am emerging. I’m somewhat like a butterfly making her way out of an almost solidified cocoon. I am emerging long after my youth has been lived. The woman who dares to look in the mirror now is coaxing herself to accept her older body, but there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.
By Julie King, 57, Disability Care Support Worker, caring community member, gorgeous woman finding herself and sharing it with the world
Related Reading:
From ‘Don’t be a Nuisance’ to Claiming Myself – an Ongoing Journey
Woman Returning
Words on Serge Benhayon 
Awesome Julie as when we come out and be play-full our life becomes a different kettle of fish and much more purpose-full, as we are aligning to our Soul as we were when we were young as you have shared.
This comment that you made Julie,
‘I chose to be, to the best of my ability, a zombie. It simply brought less attention my way. And it asked nothing of me.’
I have discovered for myself that there is a consciousness that feeds us to be zombies, we are given what to think, we think we think, but I have come to understand we don’t think at all. Every thought is fed to us by a cold energy that would have us wreck ourselves just so it gets its own way. We are all totally controlled and while we are allowed to ‘think’ it is us calling the shots the energy controlling us gets away scot free. It has taken me many years to understand that my family for example behaved in the abusive way they did, not because they were unkind and thoughtless but because the energy coming through them directed them like puppets on a string to behave in such a way. I spent all my life blaming them when it wasn’t really them at all but the energy coming through them. When we understand this we are set free of the grief the pain and hurt that we feel because there is no one to blame as such but the energy controlling their thoughts and actions. I also understand that I’m controlled too, so then, how do I live in a way, so that I am not controlled by my thoughts that I then inflict on other people? With this understanding comes a responsibility to be aware of my thoughts and actions to ensure I do not respond in reaction to what comes though other people, as I did as a child.
When our movements change and the way we focus on being in the True harmony and delicateness of a “butterfly”, our reflection becomes our greatest contribution to those around us.
“I walked without authority.” This short sentence says so much. Moving with the authority of who we are is to feel the power and purpose in every step.
Lost-and-found sounds like a fairy-tale but the truth is we are all similar in the way we have returned to our essences or Soul as students of The Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine so it is our own Living ways that returns the enrichment of our lives as you have shared Julie.
To me, Serge Benhayon is simply informing humanity of the energy they are living under. That there is a different way to live free of that energy. Many thousands of people have listened to what was offered, made the changes and now live in a more harmonious way with themselves and all others. Having tried this way of living for myself, I cannot go back to a way of living that completely dominates every move I made so that I was checked out to the real beauty of myself and other people. At our core we are all very sensitive people, our sensitivity has been bludgeoned to pulp by an energy that seeks to control and dominate our movements. If it controls our movements we are lost because from my own experience you don’t feel that anything is wrong. It’s not until someone comes along (Serge Benhayon) and points out that we are entrapped by a movement that is not our natural way of moving, that there is a possibility of changing, some people do and some people don’t but at least now humanity has a choice.
Absoulutely Mary, even the movement of the way we breath makes so much difference!
Julie what you have said here is fascinating
“Slowly though, I am emerging. I’m somewhat like a butterfly making her way out of an almost solidified cocoon.”
Because it feels the same to me the solidified Cocoon for me was my self rejection so that I withdrew from life. It is only by the reflection and support of Serge Benhayon and the students of Universal Medicine that I am emerging as a butterfly would from the cocoon of self disregard.
What you have shared Julie happens to many of us in different ways and thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon anything that has been raised to dull our light is able to be lifted like a veil, so we can start to live in the True Joy and Appreciation of what life is actually all about.
gregbarnes888 some people think Serge Benhayon is controversial but what is controversial about living in true joy and in the appreciation of what life is truly about. What is on offer is beyond our limited imagination because we have been robbed of the true multidimensional world we come from.
‘And the truth is, I have really missed me not being around.’ When we shut down we become numb to how we truly feel, and as much as we try to dismiss those feelings they stick around like an ache that we accept and absorb as normal.
There is an energy that is always pushing us to withdraw from life and give up and we are witnesses to this in our daily life and to me it seems to be getting worse in as much as when I was a child you always said hello to people you were passing in the street even if you didn’t stop to chat you at least acknowledged they were there. Yours eyes met and you said hello. Now when walking down the street people can have their head phones on listening to something, they are just walking along in a seeming trance. Then there are the people that walk with their head down, or there are people with eyes locked straight ahead not looking right or left and certainly not acknowledging that you are there.
This to me is the zombie state you are referring to when all we can do is put one foot in front of the other to get through the day and sometimes we do not even know how we got through the day or worse if driving how we got from A-B, we have just accepted all this as ‘normal’ in our given up and withdrawn state. What is even worse is that until we were reintroduced to energies and how they affect or should I say infect our bodies we didn’t even realise we had been infected and had withdrawn from life. We can accept this happens in horror movies but what if those movies were reflecting real life?
Great Mary and may I add that the re-imprinting of the footsteps around the world makes all the difference and is so simple to do by simply walking while being connected to our Souls.
Thank you Julie for sharing your story, there is so much disharmony in the world and relationships are a huge contributor. I was reflecting on the words said to you as a teen which were to snuff out the light developing in you as a young woman, which could have been a repeating scenario also done to the person speaking those words. Regardless of the reason what came to me is how powerful we would be as a community if we confirmed and built up that true light in people, or helped them resurrect it if they were not themselves. At the moment we tend to do the opposite and cut people down, which is not a true way to be in relationships at all.
Melinda what you and Julie are sharing is the power of words that can inflict a life time of pain and misery. That it doesn’t always have to be like this generation after generation. What Serge Benhayon is offering is a way to live free of the energy that currently controls us.
Thank you Julie, as it is becoming simpler to live a life as ourselves in full connection to our essences, thanks to the teaching by Serge Benhayon.
Julie, so many people who read your blog will feel that they have had a similar experience – that they gave themselves away as a result of the unseen pressure to conform to the rest of society. I agree with you when you say that Serge Benhayon provides a platform that supports people to make changes to the way they live if they so choose.
“Slowly though, I am emerging. I’m somewhat like a butterfly making her way out of an almost solidified cocoon.” – and what a gorgeous analogy of a transformation that we can offer ourselves at any time.
Julie, this is really a heart felt sharing – one in which you bare yourself and also share what has been a similar journey for many of us as women. I can relate to the hiding, that covering up of myself, the working and dressing like a man, and guess what – I even called myself ‘Henri’ instead of Henrietta – all in an attempt to not attract the ‘wrong’ kind of attention and hence deny the woman I am. And with the support of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine therapies I have learned to accept and love and let out the woman – finally! after so many years of repressing myself out of fear of what could happen. The being a woman in full is still an unfolding journey and one that is at times challenging and yet a delight at the same time.
Henrietta I agree with you and Julie so many women have a similar story to tell. The crimes against women are huge as for centuries women have been subjected to abuse in all it guises. The Benhayon women are living in a way that supports women to reconnect to themselves and not live in fear. Serge Benhayon is an amazing advocate of women and his absolute support of women has been instrumental in supporting women to open up and the support for men has been equally there, by supporting them to reconnect back to the tenderness they felt when they were young. Universal Medicine shows everyone that there is a way to live with each other that is harmless, it is a forever deepening experience that opens up new horizons to discover and explore within ourselves, there is no jealousy, comparison or competition because we all have a uniqueness to share.
“I am emerging long after my youth has been lived.” I feel this is happening to quite a few people and it is certainly happening me, my younger days pale into insignificance to how my life is today, and shows that it does not matter what age we are there is always possibility for change and to allow that sparkle we once had as a child to return.
I was raised in the old; ‘children should be seen and not heard, speak only when asked’. You can just fight the system for so long until it is easier to surrender and hold your tongue. But, speaking the truth is fun, and it can be an ice breaker, for truth will always stand alone.
Steve speaking the truth can and does stop the other person in their tracks, this happened to me recently when I called a person out for lying. They were so shocked because they were using a wielding energy to successfully get their way. They had used this method before with me and it had worked because I went into sympathy and gave them what they wanted. This time I called the energy out and it brought the person back into their body and they apologised for their behaviour. I could feel that they were stunned because no one had called them out before so it was obviously a tactic they used many times to get their own way.
I remember somehow being communicated as a young girl that there’s something not quite right about the way sexuality was expressed in the world, and I figured it was safer to pretend that I did not have breasts, periods or anything that would identify myself as a woman.
That’s spot on Fumiyo – I too learned at a young age that it is safer to cover up and hide the woman than to celebrate myself in that way. I was never shown another way as a teenager – it was either be a slut or be a tomboy, and I picked being a tomboy. But deep inside I knew even that was not who I was and so it was a very miserable time until I finally felt a true reflection of what it is to be a true woman, shown to me through the Universal Medicine therapies and with Serge Benhayon and his gorgeous family.
As we grow up we get bombarded by mixed messages through words and images, often by those who we see as our closest and trust as our caretakers, and with no true role models around for us as well as for those around us, many of us go missing and remain missing. It is a true blessing for the entire humanity that we have Serge Benhayon at this time so that many are finding themselves again.
Fumiyo Egashira, I totally agree with you, we have all grown up being fed by an energy a concoction of mixed messages, ideals, beliefs etc., which we take on as being who we are. It’s a total entrapment for lifetimes. That is why as you say it is a true blessing for humanity that we have the reflection of Serge Benhayon given to us from God to light the way out of the darkness back to the light of who we are in truth. Not the puppets we have become.
It is the men with the ogling eyes that bring unnoticed the abuse to women and make them hide their natural sexiness.
This blog highlights how crucial it is that we have the reflection of people who have made it out of the zombie state because without that reflection we do not know we are in it.
It really is devastating to feel and reflect on how much impact we have had as young gorgeous women and being told to not express it. How we adapt and fit into what is acceptable and how this involves a complete shut down of who we are. It was definitely a turning point for me also when I met Serge Benhayon and the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom, inspiring a way of being that is totally about connecting to our Soul and expressing all that we are.
When you fire up from the inside it is clear to everyone that meets you that you are shining. I can feel it in people I meet who are claiming themselves and I can feel it in myself. Self-acceptance is an unfolding path and it keeps offering more in way of power, clarity and authority and with this is a natural beauty.
What you are describing Samantha our natural beauty is the complete opposite of what we are currently fed by an energy that controls our every move.
I can relate to this, I was so excited and yes I now realise I felt deeply alive and jubilant about womanhood in a healthy way into adolescence and very quickly the enthusiasm and joy I had was not felt by others and I shut down “I lost my innate sexiness as a woman in my early teens, right after I discovered it actually.” I see now that a lot of my life been spent waiting for others to recognise me, rather than supporting myself with what I know is true.
All women’s curves and innate sexiness should be celebrated. I am celebrating the fact you have regained the sparkle in your eyes and are beginning to shine again, very cool ✨
There is so much negative energy directed at girls and women, it’s quite a minefield out there. Jealousy, comparison, competition, judgement, expectations for body image, hair and clothing, criticism about mothering or anything else we are doing, sexual energy and sexual harassment, etc, it’s a lot for any girl or women to encounter. For me as a woman it wasn’t until I encountered Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon that I felt truly met for who I am and held as not just an equal but as a powerful and sacred being. Serge has turned relating to girls and women on its head by deeply honouring and respecting women and supporting them to step into their sacredness and power.
I totally agree and support what you have shared Melinda, Serge Benhayon meets everyone in a way that touches our innermost and awakens that sense of belonging to something grand, some people feel a sense of coming home. That is the start of the journey of rediscovery that takes us back to the sense we had as a child and beyond that back to deeply feel the space that surrounds us and to remember this space we are submerged in is heavenly divine and it carries an intelligence that if we match its stillness can communicate with us. This is where Serge Benhayon accesses the intelligence that is there and brings it forward for everyone to share until such time that we can all access the same. So it comes as no surprise that we have made life all about rushing and doing because in this state there is no stillness and therefore no connection to heaven. Then we can deny heaven even exists even though it is actually every breath we take. How ignorant is humanity when as a collective we deny heaven.
I don’t need to see a photo of you Julie, to feel that you have definitely reclaimed yourself from ‘the lost and found’ and that you have once again have that beautiful twinkle in your eye. Keep twinkling as the world needs all the twinkles it can get!
Ingrid you are correct we don’t need a photograph of Julie because we can sense from our bodies that Julie has reclaimed herself because it is something tangible that we can feel. That’s how we know when someone is speaking the truth as we can actually feel it in our bodies as a certain vibration. This is something I will be forever thankful for, that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine teaches everyone how to discern the truth from the lies by feeling the vibration of both from our bodies. When we live from our bodies and not our minds everything is revealed to us. It has taken me many years to truly understand this and feel it for myself but by dropping down out of my mind and reclaiming my body so much has opened up, until this point I had no idea I was so paralysed by fear and how crippling it is.
When we feel that profoundly beautiful flow of life that is reflected both in the way we walk, and in the way we look, it cannot help but be noticed, a reflection for everybody.
We do not lose any of our innate qualities. The verb lose may indicate something accidental. The truth is that we make choices: we renounce them, we relinquish them, we drop them, we place them to sleep, etc.
When we feel lost we want to be found but rarely does it occur to us to find ourselves. Finding oneself makes so much sense in particular when we understand that it is us who have lost ourselves and are the only ones who can make the returning steps.
That is so true Alexander, we have lost ourselves and want someone else to find us back. What a setup to stay in this lost state of being as without taking any effort to find oneself this loveless way of being can continue forever.
I can so relate to you both Alexander and Nico that want for someone else to fix what is broken is very strong in a lot of people because they have been so lost and broken for such a long time they have given up on themselves ever reclaiming themselves back. Everyone will be gathered no one will be left behind.
We never lose our ability to feel and know who we are and to express that- it feels like that when we give up on ourselves.
Regaining the twinkle in the eye is like a light-switch being turned on.
The way back home to ourselves is through our bodies.
There is so much sass to be expressed especially as we start to get older as women.
We never ‘lose’ our sexiness or sacredness. It this statement alone is a testimony to how much we give our power to what is imposed from outside of us.
It is beautiful to read yet another transformation… someone else choosing to reconnect with themselves, to light again the spark within, and to feel a part of life and starting to connect again to who they truly are
We have things back to front when we shut down beauty and true sexiness in young women just because it might be taken advantage of. Shouldn’t we be looking at addressing those that would take advantage? Worse still is the shutdown because we older women were also shut down and don’t see why anyone else should be able to enjoy it if we can’t!
That sparkle we are born with is so natural and yet how life has been set up has been designed to crush that. It’s not an understatement that what Serge Benhayon and his family brings is a blessing. A reminder and a way to live that doesn’t surrender that sparkle to existence.
This is so true ‘Always I left his workshops a totally different person to the one who had arrived earlier in the day.’ Attending Serge’s courses always stir things up and even if we don’t like what we hear there is no denying the changes that take place in our bodies and our thoughts.
Yes, that twinkle in the eye can always return no matter how old or world-weary we have become, because it gives away our heavenly origins which cannot be denied.
We all should read these stories and go ‘wow’ what are we doing as a society that people choose to shut down like that and then become the next persons to have other people choose to shut down too? What kind of momentum have we got running in society and how do we contribute to it ourselves?
There has been a lot of lies in the media about Serge Benhayon, and likely to be more. But it ain’t the truth, stories like these are the truth. Real people sharing how they have been inspired by Serge Benhayon to return from living disengaged lives, to being much more themselves, engaged in life and dropping the self-loathing and returning to self-love. Is that not what the world needs?
Sarah absolutely these real life sharings about Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine will outlast the media machine who lies fall on deaf ears because people can see through the lies when they met Serge Benhayon, he is nothing like the man that is portrayed in the media. The media sell lies it’s as simple as that.
Julie I quite understand where you are coming from the innate beauty and sweetness that is in both the male and the female gets crushed at an early age there are so many do not’s it’s like putting on a straight-jacket of life. Giving ourselves permission to feel the pulse of life again and that we are so much a part of it to me is the best medicine there is.
I like that, the straight jacket of life. It is this that we are freeing ourselves form in the process of healing and returning to our essence, so we can once again expand to our true size and fullness.
I imagine there are millions of people on the “missing” list – I’ve definitely been on it and know what it feels like to have lost such a vital and important part of myself. I love the everyday rediscovery of who I am, it’s like opening an old treasure box and discovering you are full of jewels
Noticing how easily we as women deliberately throw comments towards other women. Yesterday someone told me ‘you were more funny before’. In the past I would have contracted myself and accepted this kind of comment as truth but I asked my body how that felt and I couldn’t find it right. Maybe in the past I was more funny but now I feel more real, more me and this maybe is not liked by all, that’s fine, but here I am.
I wonder if such a comment is a throwaway comment or a deliberate attempt to undermine someone’s growth forward. The effect of such a comment can be devastating and leave you in a constant state of questioning yourself, it’s a great reminder to make sure our integrity and our sense of worth is in check so we never deliberately hurt another person.
How wonderful it is being able to return to this state of contentment within yourself Julie. Embracing and celebrating ourselves is actually very natural, something that should be normal and yet it’s sabotaged and seen as arrogant very easily. There is a way of functioning between people that we tend to bring each other down instead of pulling each other up. What I’m living by being part of the esoteric community of students of the Livingness is just the opposite, a loving support, always encouraging me to step up, an ongoing inspiration and appreciation for each other…something that I really missed in the past and now I’m finding and enjoying it daily, very much so.
I agree Inma the Universal Medicine student body is very supportive if you feel that you are stuck and need support there is always someone you can turn to and seek advise, always encouraging and being there as an inspiration of what is possible with no perfection.
Crude comments and whistlings feels disgusting whereas an appreciation from someone can be confirming of the beauty we all are and very supportive. True appreciation towards women empowers us to walk with dignity and joy in life with no holding back. Something that I’m deeply inspired by the Benhayon family to bring it out in to my everyday life.
To be lost in a cocoon of shadows and insecurities and then be able to emerge and transform ourselves into butterfly’s free of those issues is something we should all be encouraged and supported to do.
Gosh the evil of jealously – an energy directed at another to stop them being who they truly are. Yuk. the remedy is to be aware of this (another being jealous that is), call it out for what it is and shine like you have never shone before ✨ I would love to hear how you are embracing more of your sexy self now Julie as well as not holding back in what you feel to express ✨
Jealousy feels quite yucky in the body and I used to contract quite easily in the past. However what I’m noticing now is that arising this feeling in others is a confirmation of being living the potential that is actually available for all. So standing steady in front of this energy – embracing myself and the other person for who we really are – it’s a wonderful service to offer that unify us.
Reconnecting with our essence is so joyful because in truth we deeply miss ourselves when we are disconnected.
It’s so worth appreciating that our inner spark is never totally extinguished and so is always there for us to come back to and re-kindle in our everyday expression and way of living. This Serge Benhayon has always been super clear about – that building more love in our life is about re-connecting with the love inside of us, that is already there and not that we need to create or seek something that we aren’t already in essence.
Life feels a bit like a maze. It may start out clear and open but as you progress you get lost in it, taking lots of wrong turns (and there are lots of misleading directions along the way). For almost two decades, Serge Benhayon has been reminding us firstly that they are in a maze (something many of us are oblivious to) and secondly that we were never supposed to be in the maze in the first place.
Fiona many of us as you say are oblivious to living in a maze, I know I was, I know I hated my life but didn’t know what to do to change it. The things I did do some new age spiritual stuff made it worse in many ways. Meeting Serge Benhayon was not the instant gosh I feel as though I have come home but a rather slow progress of learning to trust what my body tells me rather than listening to my mind which has got me into all sorts of difficult situations.
This article puts an end to the forever search outside of ourselves to find out who we are in truth. Rather it proposes that the answer in ‘refinding our missing self’ is a matter of reconnection to our innermost.
I can relate to so much in what you are sharing, it touched me, it brought me more honesty about my choices in life to not shine any longer but the solid foundation of joy has never left me completely and comes out more and more, indeed with a twinkle in my eyes willing to share the joy with everyone.
There are so many women I see walking on the street with hunched shoulders, looking in every shop window to see their reflection and be assured of their looks. We forget that regardless of how we look, it is our emanation that counts – nothing else is worth the beauty of the sparkle in our eyes as that is where our worth lies.
A beautiful sharing Julie. I can feel your emerging from the cocoon and it is also how I feel myself. It is never too late to reconnect to that playful yet wise being on the inside and live from that love and truth.
When we choose to become a mere party to life, a zombie, then we are indeed choosing to have less attention and nothing is asked of us … it’s a check out on both life and ourselves and while we’re not seen and not much is asked we lose that spark that is us … it’s wonderful to hear someone coming back to that spark and understanding how the choices made impact us and how making new and different choices brings us back to life, back to us. Thank you for sharing your story Julie.
“I walked the walk that said “I don’t care about myself.” – There is a lot to appreciate in this sentence and I have noticed lately just how one’s walk communicates so much about their state of being, overall health, vitality, and purpose, among many other things. We can all feel it and it affects everyone around us watching us walking. So paying attention to this and walking with presence and gentleness at the very least is so very important. Because if someone sees you walking like you don’t care, it almost is like giving them permission to do the same thing.
I love and can feel the joy of your twinkle Julie, and how you’re walked your way back to it, very inspiring and just gorgeous to hear.
When we do not live the truth of who we are then there can only be huge sadness because it separates us from the love that we are and this is very painful.
Our actions as a child are often misinterpreted, judged through the critical, if not cynical eyes of the adult. By itself, that wouldn’t necessarily matter that much but unfortunately, we take it on even though, what they say, doesn’t make sense in the light of our innocence.
We swallow it whole and even if the words are not said the way adults are around us shows us what is accepted and what is not.
I can attest to that Julie, that we leave a workshop with Serge Benhayon very changed from the way we walked into it. I feel a deepening of connection with me, and expansion of myself, a lightness and vitality and quiet joy inside, for Serge reflects the truth of ourselves back to us, that unique essence of ourselves that is pure love.
The famous hymn “Amazing Grace” has a line that I really resonate with… I once was lost but now am found, was blind but now I see. This, I feel Universal Medicine has supported me to… and my appreciation for it and Serge Benhayon runs deep.
I find your transformation inspiring Julie. Reflections like yours are so needed today especially because so many are not living who they are not.
We know we are more than what we are living because we feel the tension of the loss. One of the challenges is working out how far back the longing goes. Serge Benhayon presents an opportunity to consider how much more we are than we are living and the opportunity sheds so much protection.
What a tragedy to have that loveliness as a young girl quashed, and often this can be a female member of our family feeling the loveliness and reacting to it. But then to have that loveliness as a marker in the body that you could then return to is incredible – it just shows that it doesn’t go anywhere and has been there all along waiting to be re-ignited.
It is so sad to see people disappear and so beautiful to see them re-emerging!
In my experience, it is possible to leave a workshop or presentation by Serge Benhayon feeling deeply inspired to go home and experiment with living the truth of who you are.
Definitely – and that doesn’t exclude getting one’s feathers severely ruffled.
Serge Benhayon without exception walks the truth before anything is spoken or shared. His commitment to this is unique and part of the reason his presentations are simply life changing.
It is about our twinkle not about our wrinkles and all our body is showing us from a life lived in disregard, our twinkle has never been gone, only hiding, and it is such a joy to let it come out again and shine.
I love what you have shared here Annelies, just because we have a few wrinkles does not mean we have lost our twinkle.
When we change ourselves, it can rock members of our family because we maybe stop behaving in a way they are used to or that indulged them and they feel uncomfortable. But we can feel the fullness within ourselves when we make that claim when we can feel more of who we are inside, changing those old patterns we have set up is very powerful.
We can track all those small steps where we contract and give up on ourselves just as much as we can confirm those steps where we re engage in life more fully.
‘ but there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.’ It is beautiful to start to feel the essence of ourselves through the self-loving choices we choose to make that slowly brings us back to the love that we are.
When you teach in schools from kindergarten to the senior school, it becomes very obvious when we start to go on the missing list… As always, we need a guidebook of return… Bring on the ancient wisdom.
You show me that a woman in her elder years is every bit as gorgeous, sexy and vivacious as a young woman that truly knows herself. There is nothing lost and everything to celebrate.
Most of society is in the lost and found. We are all looking around to each other for guidance but that will just keep us stuck where we are, as its the blind leading the blind. It is only through connecting inwardly that I have found anything that allows me to feel that I have found myself again.
Yes Fiona, that connection inside that helps us feel the twinkle that says ‘I am still here waiting for you’ and from re-connecting to that space that never left us there is an opportunity to build that into our foundation. The practical ways Universal Medicine share how it can be done makes the coming home so much less complicated.
So gorgeous to read Julie, I can relate to what you have shared, I have been in hiding for most of my long life, since being met by Serge a few years ago I have slowly been awakening to my true essence, the real me, and little by little shining more brightly.
The other week I had a moment when I felt ‘foggy’ while driving. I almost felt too lazy to break to a halt when I needed to, I was shaken up by the realisation that I was not fully present behind the wheels of my inner self, and that was affecting how I was behind the wheels of my car. After going for a walk with a friend and a conversation that supported me to feel more present in my body I returned to my car and continued the journey. This was a significant moment of clocking the vast difference between the two states.
It was a great wake up call and since then I have had many moments of stopping and gauging how I am feeling. Am I behind my inner wheel or have I checked out? It is remarkable the extent of the time we live on autopilot – which begs the question who or what is behind the wheel at those times?
How shocking is it to come to a realisation that we don’t know who we are, that we gave ourselves away to fit into the world!
After every presentation by Serge Benhayon I leave emboldened because I experience an ever deepening appreciation and connection with myself.
We can easily crush ourselves and others with thoughts, voiced or not of, being too arrogant, showing off etc. There’s a big difference between when someone is displaying arrogance and showing off (and it’s generally pretty obvious to feel the lack of self worth that the behaviour is attempting to mask), and when someone is genuinely full of themselves as in feeling so much joy that they can’t help but express it. When we don’t judge and just observe any behaviour that isn’t truly who the other person is, we offer the space for reflection, evolution and expansion.
It’s true Bryony. Jealousy is behind many of the attacks that come our way when we dare to show others that we deeply value ourselves. If we read this we are free to continue shining ever brighter.
In our youth, we are acorns that contain everything required to be a mighty oak. But, fresh sprouts are delicate and tender and easily trodden upon. When we are supported, nurtured and establish our roots the magic in life happens to us and everyone around us!
Beautifully expressed, Steve. How may more magnificent oaks there would be in the world if only children were nurtured rather than being moulded to fit into a world that does not want such oaks.
Beautiful. No matter how far and long we think we might have gone astray or lost, we are to return to who we are.
We often all change and hold back parts of ourselves because we have not been honoured in full, the more we are able to honour ourselves it allows us to unravel these parts of ourselves and again open up and share them with others.
When we see that twinkle back in our eyes, so much is communicated, so much joy felt because we have found ourselves again – all in a twinkle!
How great that you’ve re-found yourself and how honest and refreshing to hear your story, and the challenges along the way. So many give up and the more who stop and actually re-find themselves the more everyone knows this is possible. Deep appreciation for those who present the truth of who we are like Serge Benhayon and remind all of their own connection to that truth.
To find yourself after many years wandering in the wilderness is precious and a true blessing. Thank you Serge Benhayon for supporting me to re-connect to my true essence and banish for good the blues that kept me feeling less and insignificant.
This blog accurately reflects the state of many women today. “The sadness of missing myself started to set in and I slowly disappeared’ . I can relate to this and today often observe women who have disappeared, all attention and love ploughed into young daughters, dressed prettily and gaily while they dress themselves in doudy, shapeless clothes. It is very sad to witness this loss of self. Important for women to retain the balance and lovingly look after themselves equal to children, parents and partners.
Yes, we are very good a celebrating a child’s beauty and encouraging them to be free in their bodies and expression, but not so at ease with walking the living example of it. I do wonder if this then means at some point we change from embracing it in our children to feeling jealous of it and subtly shutting it down.
When we come out of that sense of lostness and emptiness that is described here and re-connect with our essence the fullness in the body that occurs is outstanding and so joy-full. It is a feeling of finally being home.
Jealousy of any kind no matter how big or small is abuse and we have to learn to hold ourselves in love when we’re up against it and not lose ourselves to an energy simply being channeled to try and send us off track. The path of return to the glorious woman I am no doubt is bringing jealousy on all levels around me but this is natural and something I am learning to accept wholeheartedly as those who have mastered before me.
An inspirational turn around from the given-up-ness of fitting in, zombie-like with the rest of the world, to claiming yourself and your body and your life back. When we start to make decisions based on who we are and what we want, not for ‘me’ or ‘I’ but because we can feel that it’s truly needed for the all,, life starts to open up and we feel so much fuller in it. Purpose is everything.
I love the title of this blog Julie as it already says so much.. “Find Me at the Lost and Found.” Lost in my story of life is where I was also before I found Serge Benhayon who presented a very clear example how to re-connect and re-find myself.
It’s interesting that our sexiness is something that often gets squashed quickly. The sexual sexiness is fine to parade about and even promote all over the show in a pornographic way – but this isn’t what sexiness truly is and we all know it. True sexiness is something incredibly powerful and it seems a lot of people can’t handle it or find it too confronting so it gets attacked promptly so that we hide it so much so that we walk around pretending we totally lost access to it.
It’s sad how through other’s words and our perception of the world, a world that can be very harsh and condemning, we can then contract ourselves to be way less than the shining light of being that we started out with. Thanks for sharing Julie, your journey back to joy and self love, it makes a real difference to so many
others, when one comes back to more of their true essence.
I would say our spark is never quenched by another, but we can certainly react to how others are with us and as a result dim that light ourselves… and the beauty in that being that our spark is always there within for us to re-connect with.
We may put our spark in a cage and leave it on the shelf somewhere within us and attempt to forget about its existence. As you have said, Fiona, the spark in us, all that is required is for us to choose to re-ignite the fire within.
For a couple of months now I’ve been feeling a sense of loss of myself. When I follow or resist an area of life it’s like I can’t be me in any area otherwise. Being me has to be everywhere or it’s nowhere.
“Being me has to be everywhere or it’s nowhere” Yes Leigh, there is no ‘pick and mix’. Whenever we feel a sense of loss of self, stay with it and try to understand why, rather than dwell on it. To entertain the thought ‘I feel lost’ is an expression of honesty. Be aware that it can also align with an energy designed to keep us there. We’re always a breath away from making the choice to re-connect to who we truly are.
The process of shutting down and negating the true self is a very common one. At the time you don’t feel like a zombie, as the odd highlight in life from a dinner, movie or holiday can keep you relatively unaware. However to rediscover that childhood twinkle in your eye is priceless and no dinner or holiday can compare or be sustained.
‘And the truth is, I have really missed me not being around.’ When I get really still and connect deeply it never ceases to amaze me how much I have missed being in my true essence. In the function of life, we get so busy and numb ourselves so much that we fail to feel the enormity of what it means to live in this way – we then normalise this reduced way of living. But the truth is that we are so, so much more and I am discovering that the more I surrender the more I can make living from my essence the norm.
Michelle, I’ve observed recently how being in nature, gardens, woods, plants and flowers re-connects me instantly to my true essence, something we often lose touch with when caught up in the pace of life:stillness, tenderness, , silence, multidimensionality. Nature reflects constantly a way of being that brings us back to ourself.
I love this too. One of my most favourite things to do is to sit or walk quietly by myself in a flowered courtyard or garden and just feel. I always leave or get up feeling more restored and connected with an inner quiet that feels delicate and tender.
‘And so began my true journey back to me’ Thanks to Serge Benhayon and his deep inspiration many can make this claim… myself included.
What an indictment on society and all the systems within it that cannot bear for a woman to simply feel what being a gorgeous young woman is all about and celebrate that.
Gorgeous to read that it is never too late or too difficult. At any moment we can choose to start our way back to our true essence. Yes the patterns and behaviours we have replayed for lifetimes do not disappear all in one go, but life will support us one step at a time. We just need to keep remembering and celebrating as shared here: ” Slowly though, I am emerging. I’m somewhat like a butterfly making her way out of an almost solidified cocoon”. Beautiful.
‘It was a walk that sauntered my body along the street.’ and we change so much of how we are and who we are by how we walk and we show the world how to treat us in this. It’s something we can change as shown here and it’s inspiring to have the sparkle come back and it matters not what our age. We are so worth caring for us
What a joy it is to find ourselves, that is reconnect with our essence. There is nothing more beautiful in this world than living our truth.
Once we realise how disconnected we have been from the truth our bodies have been trying to share with us, there is a humble and joyful reunion which deepens every day.
‘The most wonderful thing though about that search was indeed the day I found my way to Serge Benhayon.’ I had this experience too. Searching and looking for many years, in many directions. When I found Serge Benhayon the search was complete I did not need to look any more. Then my journey returning to me began.
It feels amazing to start to get to know myself again, there was a time where I had no idea who ‘me’ was but as I build on the relationship I have with myself it now feels quiet alien when I leave myself and am not living life as me.
“What the Benhayons offer in their everyday livingness is inspirational, encouraging and it is so appreciated.” The Benhayons live a truth that is deeply inspiring, and such a beautiful reflection in today’s world where so many are lost. They are an anchor for us all to return to our truth.
The moment we no longer hold an awareness about ourselves, such as being lost momentarily in our heads, or getting too caught up in the task etc, we essentially delegate ourselves to the lost and found. Luckily the lost also has the found so we can keep coming back till such time that we do it less and less and less and then hopefully not at all!
Thanks for sharing Julie. Your story is a beautiful one of a journey back home – home to you.
Yes a true homecoming one that all of us can have, thanks to women like yourself walking back to what is innate.
There is a huge celebration when we return to know how gorgeous we are inside Julie. The sabotages will still try and take us away from that, but once we return to the power of that knowing within, they do not last long.
How wonderful it is to again re-connect to ourselves that was never really lost but buried underneath the imposing forces we have allowed ourselves to be suppressed by and therefore always feeling a sense of loss and weighed down. “And so began my true journey back to me” and this gives our lives true purpose. Like finding again the most precious piece of a jigsaw that completes the picture.
I love the honesty of this blog. “All that was left was the shell of who I used to be; who I actually am. When I looked in the mirror there was no light left to shine out to the world.” This is devastating, but it is so common for most of us to walk around like this. We need to not accept it as the norm, but aim to claim our light back so we can see and feel and claim and appreciate our true beauty.
It is devastating that the majority of people live in a shell of the amazing gorgeousness that we are born as babies. So sad that this is the normal.
…and even more sad that most people do not realise that this is the case. The more of us who claim ourselves back, the more the world has a reflection of the truth and what is possible.
“I loved the soft curves my body was developing and the twinkle in my eyes that lit up my face when I looked in the mirror.” To me what you describe here Julie, is the lived experience, the embodiment of the beauty we are innately within. and we all have that, but as you say in general it is not accepted to be lived. Thanks to Serge Benhayon, who reminds us of the importance of this inner beauty to be lived in the body, we are rediscovering this true beauty and are able to allow it back into our lives again.
Growing up I too loved humanity and spoke up but what I said wasn’t well received. I knew deep inside me that this was my job to speak out and say what wasn’t true. I can see I wasn’t nurtured in this job. Sometimes I would be ignored so I shouted louder and got caught up in trying to be heard. Sometimes a tiny bit of expression seemed like it was stamped upon. When I say I wasn’t nurtured in this job I am realising I have actually been nurturing myself back in recent years with huge, how can I ever thank you enough thanks, to Universal Medicine.
Acknowledging how I’m nurturing my expression through allowing myself to be more aware is inspiring me to accept more awareness. I can see how any judgement caused people to react. I am learning how loving calling out abuse is, that understanding a person’s motivations isn’t a reason to let abuse run riot. I can see how I personalised everything – I must be rubbish because people weren’t listening, they didn’t like me rather than they didn’t like what was being said. I’m learning from so many other amazing people who express truth with love, that read the situation and don’t take things personally. I’m learning and that’s great because it’s a skill I haven’t used for a while and this lifetime I got it out the cupboard and was a little clumsy to begin with.
I do recognise that Karin, that when delivering the truth it needs to be for everybody as a whole and not to have a good feeling for myself or with any outcome in mind. Just to deliver the truth that has to be delivered otherwise I am still in the same illusion as that which I want to expose.
Such a joy to read your emerging beauty and accordance of yourself as an older woman, it really isn’t about age but how you feel that brings all that beauty out.
There seems to be definite points along the path of life that are all about healing, resolving, renouncing, and letting go. Making different choices thereafter that consolidate and confirm.
And in this I can see how there is a turning back towards love.
It’s wonderful to read how you have returned to your innate beauty and can see through the lies that were told to you to discount what beauty flowed within you and was being expressed.
“And the truth is, I have really missed me not being around.” no matter what we say we want in life, the one thing that we all truly miss is our connection to our soul. Being inspired to rebuild my connection to me has been my greatest gift.
This feels like such a wonderful homecoming, Julie, back to you, and back to the love you have inside and are held in. What greater joy can there possibly be?
I can honestly say I was totally lost from myself and even worse had no idea, that I was following the crowd trying to fit in. I always thought I was a round pin trying to fit into a square hole and this was so frustrating because society keeps moving the goal posts as to what it is to fit in. And it got to the point where I unconsciously said enough is enough and as the old saying goes
“When the pupil is ready the teacher will be there.”
Since meeting Serge Benhayon and all the support that has been on offer from the practitioners of Universal Medicine I have turned my life around, why try and fit in to a wayward society when I standout? There is a way to live that is true to the body and the universe which we are so very much a part of. I adore the life I live now and there is not one bit of it I would change and everyday I fall in love with myself more deeply.
I love reading these sharings of people being so much more in love with themselves it is truly beautiful to read and appreciate what is possible.
Yes, Julie, I too am re-emerging, falling in love with myself for what seems like the first time, and yet it feels like the most natural thing in the world.
There is so much to appreciate that no matter what we have been through our shining brightness is still there waiting for us to reconnect to.
The beginning of life as who we are and the searching for ourselves as we get older having lost ourselves slowly along the way is a clear sharing of what we all go through in our lives but meeting Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine changes everything as we are offered the truth and knowingness of who we are gold that can not be denied with the inspiration and reflection we are offered that we all know deeply inside and our choices from there is very different and beautiful.
I knew the first time I heard Serge speak that he spoke the truth, I didn’t understand at the time why I knew but I just did and I too was completely lost but am on the path back to being found once again.
Don’t you worry about age Julie as life really only starts when we reconnect to our sparkle no matter what age you are!
A sad side effect of the sexualisation of our society is the way we have made sassiness wrong. Perhaps we find it hard to deal with because we’ve also cut it out in ourselves? This pizazz is the essence of life not something to apologise for – thanks Julie!
Amazing healing to re-connect back to the truth of a situation rather than staying in the perception of what we think or have been told was going on. Otherwise we lock ourselves into a hurt that we cannot escape from no matter how hard we try.
Julie, this is a great case study about improvements in physical and mental health.
Even though it may seem unimaginable it is never too late to re-ignite the ‘twinkle in one’s eyes’, so stories like yours, Julie, are so important for the inspiration it provides.
Welcome back Julie, it’s nice to have you here in amongst us with your twinkling eyes, showing us all what’s possible.
Really inspiring to read your rediscovery of your gorgeous self. I look back and see the forces I entertained and often still do, that are there to solely take me away from my connection with the beauty I hold inside. Whenever I clock what is at play I can see how false all the lies are and the force behind them goes.
No matter how much the muck is we have said yes to in our lives, it is only a spec on the windscreen in comparison to who we truly are.
That is true and it becomes obvious when we realise who we are.
Julie, reading this I can feel how important our movements are; ‘I began to walk in a way that made me less than who I was. It was a walk that sauntered my body along the street.’ What I can feel is that young children walk in such a light and joyful way and that this is our natural way to move, it seems that as adults we change our movements and we drag our feet; have our head down and stomp – all of which is not our natural way to move.
We tend to miss, more than anything, the one thing we all have 100% complete access to at any moment: Ourselves.
I have come to understand that every single issue we have in life is as a result of us losing ourself – the essence within us that is one with God and the Universe.
We can be lost and never really know it, getting by on good to very good levels of function – turning up to work, eating and sleeping and having friends and going about all the motions of life, but where are ‘we’ in all that we do? How many can say that they truly know who they are when all the outside things are stripped away and even fewer could claim to live that knowing in full. It is like we are a lamp, designed to shine to full capacity, turned all the way down to an almost imperceptible glimmer, not even realising the potential to shine we have within
When we say yes Serge Benhayon appears in our life. I cannot hold onto any regrets for all those moments I delayed Serge Benhayon to enter my life but only have a deep appreciation for all the choices I made that took me out from my comfort to welcome him into my life. Every choice has been so worth while to meet and have him in my life to support me on my return to the love I know and have always known I am.
There is an important journey for each young woman to make, as we all learn the difference between feeling sexy, and being sexual. With each one attracting its own kind of attention. As elders of our communities, there can be the desire to protect our beautiful and sacredly gorgeous young women from being hurt through the experience of having unwanted attention. But perhaps the truth lay in supporting our young women to know themselves and to experience what it is like to feel sexy without any need for recognition attached to it, therefore not ever attracting the violence or abuse that can sometimes come with being sexual.
How lovely it feels to be found again.
I used to have this dream that I would leave my handbag behind somewhere and then I would be frantically searching for it, knowing that the most vital necessity for life was contained in this bag. I realised after a while that it was my Soul I had lost, and so I stopped having that dream. Now it is found but I have to truly embody it in our life.
The power or the pull of that twinkle to come out and play, the deep memory of how we used to be before we shut down our light, our natural knowing of how to play in life and our innocence. A timely reminder for me to remain playful as that old habit of being serious is still hanging around….
‘I physically worked like a man despite my body asking me not to.’ I did this too, I even did this when I was pregnant, there was no honouring of me or care of my body I just pushed on through not really realising even that there was another option.
I felt lost too, but then meeting Serge Benhayon and listening to his presentations through Universal Medicine, I found my way home.
I’m discovering that the way to deal with imposing energies is to focus on the movement of my body and enjoy it. Forces from the outside simply want to squash us and what we know to be true. If we go into reaction or contraction we let them win. Even though the force coming at us may be scary we can still enjoy ourselves. Nothing can take that away, and it helps us to claim ourselves in each moment rather than giving ourselves away.
“I walked the walk that said “I don’t care about myself.” Ouch! How many of us do this simply to fit in? And what beauty we are missing out on when we choose this. Gorgeous to feel your return to you.
Its interesting this perspective of movement – from the inside out I can totally understand how moving with the flow you feel in your body is simply natural. When it comes to what others observe, seen through the lens of whatever they have playing out is when it gets distorted. We need to bring it back to the body every time.
Thank you, Julie. The process of re-discovering the divine spark within you by gradually breaking through the layers of protection and relinquishing the self-judgement is very touching to read about.
“Out of fear, lack of self-appreciation, lack of self-love and self-worth, I can dodge, avoid and delay the most gorgeous rediscovery of me.” I am sure that most people would agree that this is the same for them. We resist how amazing we are more than we resist anything else.
For a long time I did my best to keep my joy and playfulness hidden, not very well because good friends clocked it, now I’m allowing this gorgeous side of me out and it literally feels like my daily steps are lighter. So lovely to feel the seriousness drop away and the real me to shine.
Lost and found – indeed an appropriate analogy of life for most of us: 1. we get lost (by choice), 2. we miss ourselves, 3. we seek here and there (outside), 4. we start finding (inside), 5. we deepen what we found by application (live it), 6. we claim ourselves back in full (responsibility and power).
The big movie of life Alexander that we all play our part in; humans lost and found! And we are all reflections for one another of where we are in that movie of reclaiming who we are.
What a charade that we only can resolve when playing it till the very end, ie. the end of wanting to play a role in the costume piece we call creation.
Love what you have said there Alex about ‘the costume piece of creation’. Shakespeare puts it so beautifully in ‘As You Like It’. Jaques talks of the the familiar ‘life-script’ already written and prescribed and largely unchallenged by us which we adopt in each incarnation (‘their exits and their entrances’) – the perfect puppets’ life endlessly repeating the same pageant in different costume.
What a beautiful summation of life lived with a happy ending, as for so many do not claim themselves back in full in this life.
In truth it matters not how long it takes a coccoon to hatch for at the end a gorgeous and undeniably beautiful butterfly will always emerge.
When someone is truly living the joy of who they are you feel the emanation of this and it is something that you do want to watch and observe. Sometimes people don’t know how to be with this so they put other impositions onto the person or thoughts of what they think it is, when in truth it is not that.
Julie, wow this is gorgeous to read, it is very inspiring to read about how you are starting to see and feel your own loveliness again, very inspiring; ‘there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.’
Choosing to dampen down our beauty in order to protect us from harm simply keeps the same old cycle of abuse rolling. Why not focus instead on instilling our innate sense of respect towards our selves and one another, so that we can safely appreciate our beauty and grace with a dignified integrity instead.
The cocoon that we have all been inhabiting Julie must be feeling uncomfortable as we all leave it and refuse to feed ourselves to stay in there! And heaven will be celebrating the coming home of so many of the beloved Sons of God.
‘…but there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.’ I loved reading this. It’s never too late to let ourselves emerge from hibernation.
I noticed recently at the Girl to Woman Festival in Lennox Head this same sparkle. That twinkle is within everyone and it can come out at any moment. It may not be lived consistently but it is there within us all and it only took for a girl, mum or woman to see herself in the mirror after having her hair done, or with flowers in her hair for that sparkle to reveal it was in there all along.
It is never too late to re-ignite the spark within and bring it out for all to feel and see.
I love the contrast here Julie “I overrode every message my body was communicating with me”, yet more recently when you heard Serge speak for the 1st time “in such a way that the Truth is felt in the body first and foremost” it shows that when the body is presented with the truth rather than the lies that are lived, it fully recognises it.
‘Regardless of the reaction, I always came home clearer than when I had left.’ It can be uncomfortable to realise we have let our light dim, and we have been living a fraction of the light we are. Though when we reignite the love and connection once again the fire shines brightly.
Beautifully said Victoria.
Julie a great post and one I also feel a lot of similarity with, I was completely lost before re-connecting to myself by applying some of the techniques I learned at Universal Medicine, I had a constant ’empty’ feeling inside and its a great confirmation that like you that is no longer there.
I was just feeling this: when we die we want to celebrate all that we have lived and not miss these celebrations. When we are with ourselves in daily life we are preparing ourselves for the celebration every moment, this feels simple and we can all commit to this.
I love that ‘twinkle encouraging you to come out and play’ we need all the encouragement we can get as most of us are living life fully protected and we need to melt those barriers through love and consistency.
Go for it Julie . . . what an inspiration you are to everyone who reads this and for everyone who knows you. We never really hide ourselves completely . . . we think we have but those who love us for who we are are just waiting for us to be ourselves and those who want us to be something else are really placing themselves under heavy ideals that they think they have to live up to. . . so it is great getting older and realising that we can never take another’s hurt personally. What we can do is bring understanding to the table but not allow the other’s projection to crush us.
That is true Kathleen, the light may be shadowed though it is never not present, and as we grow in awareness we begin to see through the ideals, beliefs, judgments and reactions.
When I was in my teens I remember being told not to stand tall, not to flaunt and not to stick my breasts out (like you none of which was intentional it was simply me being me) and so like you over time I shrank, slouched and made myself less visible to the world as I did my best to fit it and not get noticed. I took it too the extreme with drink and drugs to make myself dull and not feel what was there to be felt in my body. It’s very interesting to me now that a teenager doing drink and drugs is less noticed than a teen that is shining which makes no sense. I was left alone to get on with it until I got too thin that people began to worry. Today it’s a different story as I claim back my sparkle, my beauty and the woman I naturally am, without perfection I’m starting to shine and life feels so much simpler, fuller and more purposeful.
Comfort makes us put off what seems hard, a bit ‘challenging’ or difficult to face. Yet staying stuck in old hurts is more like torture that denies our true grace. Thank you Julie for bringing this up for us to face.
‘ …. but there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.’ – so very beautiful to feel your re-discovery of you and the gorgeous woman that you are. Through your movements, you are inspiring women all around you to re-discover their own amazing selves.
I have a feeling the lost and found waiting area of society is becoming very crowded, but we are not even realising just how many are slipping away, lost in the stresses of life, lost in gaming and technology, lost in trying to prove themselves, lost in trying to be successful but never knowing how to find and just be themselves.
We lose ourselves in seeking approval, recognition and acceptance in life and we find ourselves when we re-connect to the inner heart, our essence.
Yes, when we stop looking outside of ourselves and accept that all the gold is on the inside we start to value the preciousness of our own connection.
What you share here, Julie, about being lost to ourselves is so prevalent today. The methods may be seemingly benign such as social media and tv, but we have become masters as a society at avoiding true relationship with ourselves and each other. Thank goodness that Universal Medicine is shining a light on these behaviours, and putting love back into the equation.
Very true, Janet. As a society, we pride ourselves on all the technological advances that we have been making, but at what cost. We are not truly advancing anywhere if we loose ourselves in the process.
‘I attracted a lot of similar brochures and business cards, all of which had been making their way to the bin. However, Serge’s remained on my desk, being shuffled around for close to six months before I made a move.’ – so beautiful that somewhere deep within, you connected with the truth of what was on offer, then allowed yourself the space to be ready to make your next step, one of love and support for you. All without maybe realising it, at the time.
It’s amazing the things we do to ‘fit in’ and be a ‘part of the group’, even when the group are doing things that we wouldn’t normally choose to do. What you share about drinking alcohol is so true …. ‘It made me feel like I was part of ‘the group’ but the after-effects made me feel like I was party to nothing!’. Rather than truly connecting with those around me, when I drank I could feel myself gradually withdraw, as though I was being sucked down a tunnel backwards. I could still see everyone, but they felt a very long way away.
Are we not all (or mostly all) currently living in the lost and found? All the unhappiness in the world, the unloving relationships, kids who are struggling and the levels of illness and disease would tend to suggest we are. We are living for rewards, comforts and relief, the holiday, weekend, café, as we know deep down we very much are missing something. We miss the knowingness and connection that was just natural as kids and are struggling in a world made to keep us unaware of and away from this.
That twinkle you were talking about is well and truly there, the times I have seen you recently I instantly get met with your playfulness, cheekiness, joy and a sparkle that is infectious.
In light of the phenomenal service and grace that the Girl to Woman festivals offer all of our young girls, your young-girl experience is all the more pertinent Julie – you speak for many a young woman that did not have the environment, relationships and role models around them to confirm them in who they truly are. It is enormous what the G2W brings to us all (young and old, female and male – it is integral to our health as a society). For me it’s summed up here “But here’s the thing – I wasn’t ‘flaunting’ it, wasn’t ‘selling myself’ as I was being accused of, I was merely feeling what being a gorgeous young woman was all about and I was celebrating that.”
My experience of turning away from my sparkle, is that to come back around i’ve found it much harder as I have to accept the fact that I said no to that majesty.
Giving ourselves permission to play, feel our light and loveliness after imposed exile, is like the feeling of wrapping ourselves in silk and velvet with absolute love.
Thank you Julie for telling it like it is, an inspiring read about how in the end what we miss most in life is ourselves..but that it is never to late to come back.
‘And the truth is, I have really missed me not being around.’ I can truly relate to this. I hadn’t realised just how much I missed me until I found myself again… (thanks to Serge Benhayon showing what was possible and how to reconnect to ourselves in a very simple way.)
I like the analogy of being in the lost and found but important in this is to be aware that when we find ourselves there it is because of our own choice by refusing to live the authority of our life we know so well to live.
Julie, it is beautiful to read about your unfoldment back to yourself. This is what healing is all about and something that is needed by us all as we untangle ourselves from all the layers we have covered ourselves with to avoid feeling our hurts.
‘I walked the walk that said “I don’t care about myself.’ I definitely have walked this walk and if I am honest sometimes (although very rarely) I still do and I see this in many many other people when out in schools and in shopping centres etc. This just goes to show how everything matters and when we feel low about ourself our movements then match this which compound how low we are feeling into our bodies even more. So therefore is it possible to change how we feel about ourselves just by changing our walk? …. Yes and this has been taught by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Medicine for the whole being simply by changing how we walk!
Welcome back Julie, its gorgeous to have you back in the world, shining brightly.
It seems that a lot of people check out more the older they become, maybe due to lack of acceptance and a desire for comfort rather than seeing what is going on and choosing to engage with life. Whatever the reason it is a switching off And at the same time we are being told that dementia in younger people is on the rise, with those as young as thirty having been diagnosed. Any time we are not present with ourselves in our bodies we are accumulating dementia points. Great to hear of your story Julie and the support that you found in Serge and MIchael Benhayon in particular and to feel your re-emergence and commitment to life.
Reading your blog a second time it suddenly dawned on me that I was also called a communist by my favourite aunt and how menacing and condemning it felt at that time; and how unjust despite not grasping its full implication and meaning. Interesting to note that we grew up on opposite sides of the world and yet, the dictate was the same and its administrator of the same ilk.
Beautiful Julie. I loved reading this. Your story is not so different to so many of us who have switched our true selves off in order to be more acceptable to others. I love that you’ve found yourself again! The world was missing you, that’s for sure!
To reclaim the beauty of who we are and what we each bring to life is another opportunity to inspire another to do so as well.
I love this blog Julie, very inspiring. Missing no more, well and truly found!
If we turn away from our light, then we are destined to walk a life in the shadow cast by this movement.
Indeed Liane, as life is about living our light, turning away from this by our own choice will, as you say, only bring us the shallow shadows of the life we could have lived otherwise.
Ever since my late teens, I can remember having this feeling that there was more to life than I was experiencing, that this couldn’t be all there was. Then I threw myself into work and remember looking around at my colleagues thinking there has to be more to life than working very hard to save up for two weeks holiday. Coming back and starting all over again. Then I threw myself into being a mother, wife and housewife, and once again the same feelings presented themselves. What I have now come to realise is that there was a sense that there was more to life but what I wasn’t getting was that there was more to me and that the outer was only reflecting back to the inner. The answers to our questions reside inside of us, and no amount of searching outside will bring us anything grander than what we already have inside of us
Missing the connection that is there with myself and my body is one of the greatest sadnesses of my life, and yet, as much as there is the desire to look around for something to take this sadness away and to make me feel whole again, either through activities or relationships, the truth is that the only thing that will take this sadness away is if I return to myself again, and it is just as simple as that – to turn back inwards again willing to see the great light that is there and to know this as home.
We can circumnavigate the globe looking for ‘it’ but, then realising what we perceived was ‘lost’ was actually with us All the time… right under our nose, literally!.. the connection of body to Soul with our ‘Gentle Breath’.
Julie, it is very beautiful that there is again a twinkle in your eye and that you are ‘accepting your older body’ – this in itself is huge.
And what I find about the whole ‘finding me’ thing is that there is no end point, which is something I definitely used to believe, that there would be an aha moment and the job would be done. The more I explore and open up the more I realise that the learning and unfolding is endless and there is such a rich depth, potential and expansion to this.
I appreciate deeply the process of returning to me, by first being honest that I miss myself. I appreciate going through this process with others, revealing my hurts and working through them to realise that everyone is here to support one another to come back to themselves.
Never too late to find oneself, actually that´s what life is about, to find who we always have been but lost by choice so that we can be all that we are and were breathed forth to become. It is not a matter of time, but a matter of fact we cannot escape.
It is a constant and enormous inspiration for me to walk alongside so many people working with Universal Medicine, emerging more and more beautifully into their true selves – consistent, confident, vital and inspired by their purpose in life. Properly cool.
Beautiful to feel you emerging from your chrysalis, thank you for sharing this Julie King.
“I spoke up about abuse and I loved humanity. However, it wasn’t long before I made a choice to keep quiet to avoid being told ‘the world didn’t work that way’ and that ‘I thought like a communist.’ ” How damaging it is for anyone of any age to be told to keep quiet about what they feel is true. It can literally cause someone to withdraw into themselves for the rest of their lives, making them doubt what they feel.
The reflection we see in the mirror is seemingly about the physical body, but actually about the being within, and how much of that being is allowed to be see in the glory of who each of us are.
Such a key sharing in what it is to surrender to our bodies and sit with the truth of our choices. What Serge Benhayon presents is the truth, delivered in love, and constantly there to support us.
I didn’t come to understand that I had been missing me for most of my life until I had found myself again; then it became very obvious that the amazing me had been ‘missing in action’ for way too long. It has been a wonderful process finding me again, although sometimes extremely challenging, but one thing is for sure, I am never going to lose myself again!
I agree that thank you doesn’t even come close to representing the level of gratitude to live with eyes open.
One of the beautiful things about our innate essence or spark is that it is innate! And in that we can’t ever completely loose it as such but just not connect with and express it and so it is always there within us for us to re-connect back with and bring back out into our everyday expression, something that I’m learning to keep unfolding in my life.
It is a huge inspiration to know that the spark is always there. Always.
“Slowly though, I am emerging. I’m somewhat like a butterfly making her way out of an almost solidified cocoon. I am emerging long after my youth has been lived. The woman who dares to look in the mirror now is coaxing herself to accept her older body, but there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.” Beautiful Julie – appreciate it’s never too late to find our own loving and amazing selves once again.
How beautiful Julie! It seems the time has come to find and claim yourself as precious and show the world just how exquisitely gorgeous your light truly is.
We can so easily hide our beauty and spark in the way we move and knowing this is both exposing and revolutionising because we now know how to come back to ourselves too.
I can say, I have been away for awhile, but I’m back now. It may have been a long time or even a few life times. We can never lose our way from ourselves, but can turn our back and refuse to see.
Ever since I met Serge Benhayon I have felt ‘found’ . Not because I was ‘found’ by Serge… or anyone else – but because Serge lives everything that he is, and that is huge, and he meets everyone in the absoluteness of all of that glory. And so being ‘met’ in that way we know that we are that too. A pure reflection, that offers the opportunity to be and live of all that we truly are.
‘..there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.’ Beautiful Julie and what a difference with being on ‘the missing list’ you have found yourself and will never leave you again that’s for sure.
Imagine if we had a missing persons list, most of humanity would be on it….sad and sorry state of affairs humanity is in!!!
I love your description of lost and found, go into any supermarket and it’s a bit like being in a lost and found centre, it’s like people are lost and life has become simply about function – food, sleep, work, but without the core foundation of knowing who we are and what we’re here to bring and that life very much has a purpose our vitality, our well-being and our love of life is at stake.
How lost are we all when we hear that we are all equally ‘The Sons of God’ and change that to have many different so called religions all to the same God?
To say that we are missing is an understatement when we consider the enormity of the universe, our home, and then within the divine body of God there is a little lost tumour wilfully growing its astral ways, lost in nowhereness. Many thanks to Serge Benhayon that he is offering us the ‘missing’ link to return.
Wo we can take years and years and even life times avoiding and delaying the gorgeous rediscovery of ourselves. When we do stop and take the time to acknowledge we are absolutely divinely beautiful and stop to feel God’s love that we all have inside we realise how lost we have been.
Love how simply you state the plain truth about Serge Benhayon here, Julie: ‘He provides a platform that is supportive for the change that is so desperately needed.’ This Serge does without judgement and with unwavering love for all.
I was given up after a long search for something that I knew was out there but everything I came across and gave a go never felt right and ended up walking away. That was until I met Serge Benhayon. The moment I met him in the first workshop I attended I instantly knew I was in the right place, everything felt so sure. Serge offers a platform indeed that is one of absolute Love and Truth and does not hold this back at all. A reflection that is consistently reminding me that we are all of this Love and Truth and it is up to us to choose or not. Serge is a solid rock that is a diamond inside, we are all just starting to realise that we are this too.
Finding ourselves at the ‘found’ is a delightful and wonderful place to be.
So lovely that you have chosen to come out to play more Julie, we will all enjoy that very much.
We are so clever at working out how to play small, as you say we dress down, move in a way that makes us invisible and the list goes on and on – how amazing is it when we wake up to the fact that we can reclaim our true seves again?
The fact that kids know how things ‘could and should be’ shows that qualities such a love, respect, tenderness are innately within and known to us. This clarity of knowing the truth is in stark contrast to what we see play out in life around us. The choice then is to conform so we ignore what we see or stick to our truth.
Beautifully expressed Julie, your purity and depth of wisdom is deeply felt through out the blog. Very inspirational to feel the changes in you.
When we arrive at the lost and found, essentially we realise we’ve been lost. But once found, we realise we were never really lost as everything is, and always has been, right here inside of us. It can’t be lost – only temporarily forgotten.
How true Nikki – we are never really lost just dis-connected from our true and innermost selves.
I am absolutely moved to tears reading this account of how a free and gorgeous woman poised to take her place (to bring her truth and her love to a world that is so thirsty for it) instead molded herself to the world; this world that is so up-side-down…
….because I did the same thing… and so many others did the same thing…
even when the antidote to an up-side-down world is to stop going up-side-down to fit into it !
A true and loving way of living is natural once we re-find ourselves and Universal Medicine has inspired many hundreds to do just that and we are continuing to un-cover our beauty and discover how much we have to offer which in turn inspires many others to come out of the lost and found box too.
Love your analogy of the lost and found box that many of us have been hiding in out of fear of being found. We are actually not lost at all just have lost connection to our inner essence that has been there all along waiting for us to reconnect with.
I feel the twinkle in your eyes will open many hearts to appreciate and embrace your awesome reflection. When we look back and realise how far we have come we can begin to heal the part that became an empty shell bereft of any love or true connection – the wonderful thing about God is that he never forsakes us – always waiting to welcome us back home.
When we speak up and reveal the truth we are often given a name or a label. This was the case here for you being called a communist. If we are in the least bit sensitive and have not built a solid foundation within ourselves to help withstand this then we are very likely to contract, withdraw and go silent so as not to be attacked or labelled in this way. Taking it personally is something we have to learn not to do. Learning to read it for what it is – jealousy and fear which creates an opening for a harmful energy to come through – helps us to take a step back, observe, and stand strong in all that we are and what we know. We are then free to love others and provide inspiration rather than simply enjoin and give up on truth.
The problem with being lost is, the only person that would go looking for you, doesn’t know they are lost!
The reflection of Serge Benhayon and his family is so steady that anyone can access it if we align. Even though I do not see or contact Serge Benhayon or his family much, I am receiving this reflection brightly every day.
This is a beautiful sharing about true sexiness and how healing it is to express our beauty.
It is amazing to be emerging at this so-called late hour in life – but really it is one life – and at a certain point in that cycle we wake up, whether it be in our thirties, forties, fifties or sixties. I too discovered the presentations of Serge Benhayon at a very ‘late’ age, because this is when Serge Benhayon on his life-cycle stage, began to present. This is the beauty of ‘It’s never too late’. Age is only about the physical cycle of the body and life itself is continuous, forever cycling until we fully awaken and lead the way home.
‘I’m somewhat like a butterfly making her way out of an almost solidified cocoon. I am emerging long after my youth has been lived.’ – A stunning example that it is never too late to turn our lives around – a second bloom is awaiting.
The way you write about the ‘twinkle’, gets me every time 🌟… it is a playful and profound expression of the spark that we all carry inside us and how much we cover it up or not.
Yes, your experience as a young woman, mirrors mine as a young man where I felt I had o give up myself in order to fit in. I have been feeling the devastation of abandoning myself. With support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I am remembering that delicate, tender boy, at age 66. It is never to late!
Re-discovering ourselves is an amazing gift! I know I waited way too long in life to stop and appreciate myself and really love myself, but I still have the rest of my life (and lives) to do this now! It is never too late to begin the path of self love and appreciation!
Enjoying the curves of our body and the flow of our walk is not just for a particular age group, in fact it can occur at any age.
Jealousy is a big one that plays a dangerous game with family. it can come in the smallest of ways, masked in ‘good intention’ but in truth, it is not loving. For us to truly see and observe this and see it as just an energy that comes through people is a deep healing.
There is a certain irony when we feel we have ‘lost ourselves’ because when we ‘find ourselves’, we discover we were always there. So what is it exactly we think we have ‘lost’?
The grace of childhood to know ourselves as who we are, the grace of life to come back to and claim ourselves as who we are.
I didn’t own a mirror for 7 years, I lived on a boat and didn’t have one. I find that so sad now because it shows such a dismissal and lack of care towards my self. Now I have a full length mirror and a make up mirror in my dressing table, that is quite a shift from how I have been with myself.
‘Sometimes I left his workshops angry at words he had spoken because they stirred a truth in me that I was not wanting to accept. Always I left his workshops a totally different person to the one who had arrived earlier in the day’. Totally Julie! I will never forget the day I realised that I could never really in all conscience have another pizza as long as I lived (for the next 2,500 years!) and I was full of grief about it. Not that Serge ever says ‘you must do this or that” – not ever. But when he presents the truth about the body and what truly futures it, and it resonates strongly with one, then there is no turning back and it is a bit hard for the temporal aspect of us to fully digest it all.
Thank you Julie, what a wonderfully inspiring story of rediscovering the spark in your eyes again.
If we realised how damaging it is for any child to be told that they must not express either verbally or physically what they feel themselves to be, we would be very very careful about what words we would let come out of our mouths. For it is these ‘flippant or passing comments’ that at the time may seem relatively insignificant to those who are speaking them, that can be so deeply scarring for the child that is receiving them.
Gorgeous to read and to know you Julie, I see that twinkle in your eyes when I meet you, and feel the beautiful emerging of the grandness and beauty you hold as a women.
“I walked the walk that said ‘I don’t care about myself.'” – Our posture and the way we walk and move can reflect so much about the way we think about ourselves on the inside. It’s literally like we are compounding an energetic state of being in our physical body…
‘I was merely feeling what being a gorgeous young woman was all about and I was celebrating that.’ – What a precious awareness to behold, and how crushing to be met in a way that makes a young girl feel she needs to cover up her gorgeousness.
I am finding that walking with the authority of me, knowing more who I am, is making a significant change to how I feel, bringing a long forgotten awareness to my body. I have seen this walk with the Benhayon family, it is really inspiring.
What a beautiful sharing of your emerging out into who you are and the inspiration of this from Serge Benhayon and his family and that it is never to late to make the changes and take responsibility for coming back and finding ourselves again.
Julie this was so beautiful to read and feel the butterfly starting to fly. There is so much to appreciate in what Serge Benhayon has offered to many.
When we ‘find ourselves’, we realise that we were actually ‘right here all along’ – thank you Rachel Kane.
Sure are! Searching from the outside when the gold is front stage centre!
Beautiful to hear Julie that you are coming out again into the world.
When we miss ourselves life is flat no matter how exciting, troublesome or entertaining it may be. It is not life that makes us who we are but we who make life what it is hence we need to start with knowing ourselves.
How true – what we are all deeply yearning for is the true connection with ourselves. Without it we are easily feeling lost and always on the search to fill that void.
What would the world do without Serge Benhayon? It would be fatally stuck in the ‘lost’ realm. We are on a senseless round of ups and downs which appears like a life but is far from true life. Without this extraordinary man we would all be utterly trapped. Thank you for your blog Julie, testifying to this.
We offer much to the world in full flight – for great reason we need not prolong or avoid our reclaiming of all that we naturally are.
True responsibility is in recognising where movements have been made that lessens our natural expressions, and then, without judgement or critique, making the changes to not move that way any more.
There is virtually nothing in this world that supports young people to remain themselves and live their innate wisdom and beauty. Both young girls and boys have images, attitudes, and expressions that they think is the way to be but it is all completely false, steering them way off track. There are however true reflections of being a woman and a man, boy or girl and the Benhayons’ certainly reflect this quality as do many others around the world and on this comment thread. Once there, it’s important to live what has been re-discovered and let it ripple through those whom we meet, no holding it back…why would we.
The way you write about your twinkle is super sweet and super inspiring. It is the letting out of the spark within and now it is twinkling in your eyes again the whole world is blessed.
This is gorgeous to ready. Age does not limit our expression – the unleashing of our natural joy.
When we start to come back to ourselves and discover who we are, it is like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. All too often our likes and dislikes are governed by what others have said, and we allow ourselves to be influenced to follow others in their beliefs and opinions – true or otherwise. What this does is leave us with a sense of not knowing ourselves.
When we self-abuse to please others and the world we sell out and lose the one thing that is most dear to ourselves…our true self.
“I walked without authority. I walked in fact and deliberately so, to make myself not stand out. I walked the walk that said “I don’t care about myself.”
I can so relate to this and feel for most of my life I have avoided my power, and tried my best not to shine in order to not stand out – Only now I understand how totally crazy this is, and I am now working on shining as bright as I can. The universe celebrates when we claim the absolute loveliness we are.
I don’t feel that we appreciate the affect our families and friends have on us, we seem to believe them over and above what we know ourselves to be especially when we are young and at our most vulnerable. The doubt eats away at our inner knowing and we become a faded version of our true selves. For those of us that have met Serge Benhayon we are re learning to accept ourselves and reignite our awareness and sensitivity to the world.
Women just as men need the space to be who they are; without that space they impose on each other their needs and hurts and thus contribute to and forever continue the age-old dynamic of the genders. It is only by those who heal and set themselves free of the impositions that the required space is offered for others to experience that there is a different way to be explored by their own steps taken.
I agree – the thing I miss the most is myself, my true self that is! From this connection, I feel all other people, the universe and God, so in re-finding myself I get so much more.
I also remember the point I turned away from a knowing that I had inside me because of others persistently telling more there were things I had to do and things I should be concerned about when in truth they could not understand why I was not reacting to things as they were – not surprising I became ill shortly afterwards.
That feeling of being watched or observed often makes us contract and completely change our walk, but what I love about your sharing Julie is that no matter who’s watching it doesn’t impact our own space and stride, which we can enjoy the rhythm of and use that ‘flow’ as a means to keep making steps forward in that quality.
Julie, reading this reminds me of the natural loveliness that I felt as a child; ‘What I did feel though, was a movement in my body that had a lovely flow when I walked, I enjoyed the feel of fabric around my body, I loved the soft curves my body was developing and the twinkle in my eyes that lit up my face when I looked in the mirror.’ It is very beautiful that you are now coming back to this self appreciation and natural, loving way of being, once again seeing the twinkle in your eye.
What you have so well shared Julie, relates to most of us, especially in the fact of wanting to be accepted by those around us. Many of us are now learning that the acceptance of ourselves by ourselves, and a deep understanding of our true godly nature, is the golden key to well-being, joy and service. In this way one humbly becomes a leading light.
What a fantastic blog to read, thank you for sharing!
It is so interesting how each one of us has come to meet Serge Benhayon – some through a friend, or a flyer or through a practitioner – but we get there willy nilly. And you are so right, we become inspired to change the way we are living . . . and for the benefit of all.
It is very interesting to consider that we actually have the awareness and ability to know whether we are living true to ourselves or not at all times.
We dis-empower ourselves when we deny our own beauty and fixate instead on assumed beauty of others. The tide can be turned at anytime by looking within, connecting to our true and lovely essence we share equally with all others.
Great title ‘ lost and found’. Many of us can relate to what you share and the many identities we assume in our search to make sense of our world. I remember myself in my late twenties part of a feminist collective, we all dressed this way ‘down’ so called ‘unconventional. I wore a bleak, over-sized second-hand coat, dungarees, boots, hair cropped short, completely disconnected to who I was as a women. When we lose ourselves, we become followers or isolates. To find ourselves, is to stand grand and tall, steady and magnificent. Out in the world with multitudes,but always holding our own preciousness in full acceptance of who we are.
It is never too late to recover oneself from the ‘lost and found’ as I can attest to. Having recovered myself from the lost in my fifties and now in my sixties I am constantly re-discovering more and more of myself and continually surprised at what I am finding. Such a joyful way to live.
It is never too late to recover oneself from the the ‘lost and found’ as I can attest to. Having recovered myself from the lost in my fifties and now in my sixties I am constantly re-discovering more and more of myself and continually surprised at what I am finding. Such a joyful way to live.
I often observe a strange dichotomy: mothers who ensure their daughters are dressed prettily in vibrant or soft colours or wearing princess robes while they dress themselves in grey, anonymous and shapeless clothes. I ask myself ‘What happened to your own precious little girl, still within you and worthy of receiving equal love and attention given to your daughter?’. By devoting all their energies into daughters, they neglect and lose themselves.
It is interesting daily to observe the people that are lost and don’t even know it. There is no judgment, for I have been there myself not that long ago. The emptiness just becomes our way of dealing with life. The Benhayons and many others are now setting the new standard by living every moment in the fullness we all possess and sparkle for all to see.
I love your candour and absolute honesty; you describe so well how we did allow ourselves to shrink into virtual nothingness in reaction to a world that rejected/could not handle our reflection; with our taciturn if but reluctant cooperation, of course. Next time around, things will be different.
This is so beautiful, tears have welled up in my eyes, I appreciate your openness and strength so much, I feel a conformation in me that no judgments is needed and to be ourselves, absolutely wholeheartedly ourselves.
Thank you Julie, that was very relatable and easy to read. You life is pretty much a template for many, we begin connected and expressing who we are and then other people can interfere and we choose to close ourselves away to become an acceptable but false version of ourselves. Welcome back.
I can look at old photos of me and feel sad at how I rejected my beauty. It’s wonderful to read this and know whatever age we are we can be sexy and gorgeous. It’s not about a lack of wrinkles etc, it’s about letting ourselves shine and I’ve seen this proof in women of all ages who are accepting and loving of who they are.
I know that one Karin, I can feel my hidden beauty inside when I look at old photos knowing I am not radiating it at that time.There feels an illusion that it is too late in this lifetime to change but it is very possible to change our old patterns right until our last breath of this lifetime.
Bringing ourselves back to the awareness of our every movement not only supports us to feel the grandeur of who we are but also all others making life more about our connection and connections with others that allows us the space to return to ourselves once more.
And I am naturally finding more of myself everyday through connection to the Ageless Wisdom and living The Way of the Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon.
Not living us is the biggest sadness we carry inside. Nothing in this world is more painful, than not living and expressing the true light and power that we are!
Stefanie, i absolutely agree not living us is the biggest sadness we carry inside, holding back our true light and power that we are.
A powerful reminder of how natural it is to feel the divine beauty that we are made of and how there is a force ready and waiting to dismiss and shut down this innate truth. Serge Benhayon is the one and only person I have known who presents the Livingness of this truth so that we can all return to who we really are – that gorgeous young woman who felt and knew your grace and beauty from within,
However old we physically get we can still connect to the spark of our childhood because it is with us from the start of our days to the end of our days. It is a knowingness of who we are, what we are made of and where we come from and if we are lucky enough, it gets reflected back to us in our lives by others who have either stayed connected to that knowing or have re-connected to that knowing. From the moment we re-connect, we become part of the responsibility to reflect it to others so we can all remember who we are, where we come from and what we are made of – love.
What struck me as inspiring in this sharing by Julie is how she seems very patient now with her development and is able to observe with honesty how she sometimes puts a delay in that evolution, which I can certainly relate to. To do this without self judgement is a key factor so as to not contract away from our natural lightness.
‘I just wanted to fit in with what the majority of my age group had decided was acceptable.’ – This is a great point and something to be aware of – we look at what is ‘normal’ around us and we want to fit in, particularly as teenagers.
It a horrible feeling to feel as if you have lost yourself, I have been in relationships that have left me wondering if I even know who I am anymore, The beautiful thing about Universal Medicine is that you are given the tools to know what you feel like at your essence and when you walk or breath in a way that holds this quality of who you are, it is a lot easier to feel when you are with you and when you have abandoned you. We are all the same once we return to this space, we are all actually loving in our true nature.
Mothers often find their gorgeous young daughter/s very challenging as they reflect the delicate, playful, sweet, divine qualities that they long ago let go of and replaced with a very functional way of getting through life. Many do not want to feel how much they miss themselves so often squash these qualities in their daughter/s before they blossom.
Mothers often find their gorgeous young daughter/s very challenging as they reflect the delicate, playful, sweet, divine qualities that they long ago let go of and replaced with a very functional way of getting through life. Many do not want to feel how much they miss themselves so often squash these qualities in their daughter/s
Yes, so true, and we would hate to admit it because it is painful to consider we would find the reflection a challenge. It is such a gift to be able to see the harm in that pattern of behaviour and make a conscious choice to be aware of it so we can choose to not squash who we all innately are but to foster its expression.
Yes Mary-Louise it can be a challenge, especially if they’ve hidden their true selves away in a box and thrown away the key, Women who stay connected to their true essence celebrate the delicate and sweet beauty of their daughters as simply a reflection of everything they (the women) already are.
I can relate to the cocoon and being the butterfly that is making her way out again to play. Thanks to the inspiration of the Benhayon’s lived way of being I am starting to see that i’m not just the butterfly but one of great beauty, and I am starting to appreciate all the exquisite colours and patterns that make up this precious and delicate being that I am.
It so beautiful to see all the beautiful butterflies emerging from their cocoons dancing the sunlight because of the lived example of the Benhayon’s.
“But here’s the thing – I wasn’t ‘flaunting’ it, wasn’t ‘selling myself’ as I was being accused of, I was merely feeling what being a gorgeous young woman was all about and I was celebrating that.” This really strikes a chord with me Julie. I remember my mother being horrified the first time that I dared to show off my cleavage by wearing a top that was a bit too low for her liking and she used that exact same word ‘flaunting’. But all I was doing was as you describe, feeling how gorgeous I was and wanting to celebrate it. It was from then on I became super self conscious about my body and as I got older just kept myself covered up and hidden away.
It’s very common for us to hide away for fear of what others might think. It’s possible to fully claim ourselves without ‘flaunting’. If someone else sees it that way, so be it.
“In fact, I soon learnt to avoid those places because I didn’t appreciate the offensive behaviour of the men hanging out of pub windows or building sites making crude comments about me, or the wolf whistling. It made me feel uncomfortable.”
As a young teenager growing up in London i too remember my cringe at walking past a building site and hearing men whistling or call out at me, what strikes me most about this moment is that i would instantly begin a critical internal dialogue, berating myself for wearing the wrong clothes or too much make up, I felt ashamed of myself that I had called in this unwanted attention. Now on reflection i can see how my wardrobe became increasingly androgynous, how I crafted an image to avoid this kind of male attention..
This is interesting because I recognise this pattern in me, whilst also remembering a flip side that was actually being in some way complimented by this kind of abusive and inappropriate attention… an awful version of attention but at least it was attention.
And it is not only us that miss ourselves when we are lost the whole world is missing out on all we have to offer when we are just truly ourselves.
This sharing is an inspiration for us all to not give up on life when we have lost our way. We just never know what is around the next corner!
There is always the divine light within us, we should never give up, always know there is a way.
We start life as a new paintbrush, and we allow others to use it to show us how it should be used. Over time without proper care, it can become hard, and in the end, it is discarded and forgetting what it started life as. But, old brushes can be brought back, but it is not always easy to remove things that have stuck with us for many years. But, is always worth the effort to restore us back to how we all started!
Is it not wonderful that there is a way out of this dilemma . . . Thanks Serge, Michael, Curtis, Natalie, Miranda and Simone Benhayon and also thanks to those who chose this other way.
We are each born ‘found’ then in come the attachments, the beliefs, the expectations and the pictures, which all serve the same purpose and that is to derail us from the certainty of who we are.
We don’t often realise or appreciate how powerful the affect of someone else’s hurt has on another. We walk around not dealing with our stuff and it takes over our lives and then seeps into our relationships with others, passing on the hurt like a baton in a relay race. How different our world would be if we owned our stuff, and dealt with it. I know for a fact that it doesn’t have to be as painful as we’re lead to believe when we have the support of each other.
In regards to being told you were ‘flaunting’ your self Julie, that sounds like the forces of jealousy trying to put you down and cut you off at the knees. Our desire to have approval and be accepted at the expense of our great beauty and sexiness is strong and well engrained in us because we have sought safety above all else,instead of allowed our divinity to bloom and knocked all those jealous comments off like flies.
Lost and Found is a great example of where we can find things that have been forgotten or neglected – we can all be guilty of having left something behind in our excitement of doing other things, or simply in a lack of care for ourselves and our equipment etc. And so it makes sense to have this applied to oursleves too – in a sense of what has our relationship with ourselves been like? Have we abandoned ship? Or are we still navigating and loving what we are doing?!
I know I am vey inspired by women who claim their sexy back in older years….
It is sooo beautiful!
Sexy is a woman walking life in all her claimed power and glory, it is magnificent!
Hear hear Toni – I couldn’t agree more, a woman in all her power and glory, regardless of age, is deeply inspiring and a true role model.
Yes, absolutely beautifully said Toni and Eva. I remember many many years ago when I first studied at the Conservatorium of Music – I would have been 16 or 17 – there was a music lecturer there who would have been around 55 years old. She was quite plump with short black hair, and painted fingernails. This woman was so sexy, us young ones were like waifs beside her! She has a great sense of human and a kind of warm power. Strangely she was unmarried, but I remember clocking her sexiness very clearly and felt very cheered that the 50s didnt’t mean the end of the road.
In truth just a few moments away from all that we are is painful and yet we live our lives like this for so long until we are shown a reflection and offered the opportunity tp return to a true way of living which enables us to return to living in connection to who we are once more.
It is important to reflect on this point. That one step away from the love and sparkle that we truly are, feels and is devastating, not only for us but for those around us too.
I can very much relate to the feeling of being lost – the joy of having found the journey to my true self again is endless and not something I take for granted.
It is painful reading about, observing or personally feeling when I or another is withdrawing and closing the hatchets on expressing their natural essence.
The amazing thing is that I read here similar to how it was for me, that what supports us to come out of our shell is witnessing someone consistently living with openness and transparency, and relate to us as an equal, as do Serge Benhayon, all his family and many people who are inspired by them.
What an amazing support we can choose to be for one another.
There are more and more men who deeply celebrate women of all ages in their true beauty, whether that is at a wedding where the women wear their dresses really claiming their sexiness or at a party or just seeing them walking down the street. Very healing for all of us.
Great description of coming out of the cocoon, the beautiful butterfly is within and we do not need to do anything or be anything other than what we already are, we just need to clear of the debris of hurts and habits that have covered us.
I love the title and theme of this blog for when we choose to abandon who we are in reaction to the world and become a different lesser version of ourselves we might as well be ‘missing’ for when we are not living true to who we are the world misses out on the glorious gorgeousness and beauty that we would be otherwise sharing with all, and the whole world is lesser for it.
It’s like we are living in a world of holograms with only a handful of people who have coloured themselves back in.
Julie King, its a joy to feel you once again share yourself with the world. We all benefit.
I agree with you about Serge Benhayon – “I, like so many others, have so much to appreciate this man for.” It’s the most wondrous of joy to share more of me each day too.
Reclaiming ourselves is so powerful, Julie, and such a treasure now to hold that no money or gold could ever tempt us to sell out again.
I find it fascinating that as children we are so sensitive and clear we just have a natural understanding of everything around us. But we are not allowed to develop this further, quite the opposite it is actively squashed before it can blossom. We may not know the meaning of the words spoken to us but we can feel the put down, and so we shrivel up as we learn to conform and the natural joy for life that we all have is put to one side and in many cases completely abandoned.
‘as children we are so sensitive and clear we just have a natural understanding of everything around us.’ – The ability to see the world with innocent eyes, a view untarnished by the world around us is one of the most amazing qualities we are all naturally born with.
The thing is we are not taught to appreciate the joy children express when they are younger – we are taught to have judgments and to dismiss their gorgeousness as silly child’s play. It wasn’t until I started attending the courses run by Universal Medicine that I started to look at children in a different way and not dismiss what they bring.
What a beautiful sharing of reclaiming the gorgeous free flowing you and loving yourself again having shut your self away from everyone and yourself also as we do in life with all that is reflected to us. The amazing gift of Serge Benhayon and his family is pure gold in bringing back the truth we know and the living way with true love and joy in our lives from within ourselves shining our way by reflection and inspiration.
Any one who aligns to Serge leaves his workshops/sessions a very different person. I had an undiagnosed mental illness for many years. When I first came to the work I had changed my name to Rose……just Rose…no surname.. You can imagine the problem it was when it came to any official documents, as every document needed a surname.
I never discussed my name change with Serge and after 4 sessions with him I decided to change my name back to my birth name. This coincided with me re-connecting with myself due to the sessions with Serge.
What we unquestionably and undeniably miss the most is the connection to ourselves and then by accepting this responsibility we naturally support others. For me at this time it is claiming this responsibility I have towards myself and towards others more deeply in my body.
I wonder what percentage of the worlds population could be classed as missing, many of us aren’t missing in action either, we are lost at the bottom of a bottle or sucked into a computer game or the many other things we use to remain below the radar of who we truly are.
“What the Benhayons offer in their everyday livingness is inspirational, encouraging and it is so appreciated.” What a joy it is to see people coming back to life as a consequence of studying the work of Serge Benhayon, a genuine twinkle in the eye and love of People, Life, God and them selves returning in full. Nothing short of a miracle, but a genuine and repeatable signature of Universal Medicine and the power of Love that Serge and his family embody to the hilt.
‘I began to walk in a way that made me less than who I was.’ The moment we make that choice, we disconnect ourselves from who we are. Our presence leaves our body, which becomes filled by any energy but love. Great to know that you changed that choice and are coming back again to the glory you came from. It is enormous the difference that is felt around us when we claim ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your vulnerability, Julie, as it is an inspiring reflection to do so likewise.
What you reveal in your blog Julie is what happens when we reduce ourselves and become less than the beautiful sensitive open women and men we know ourselves to be. We try to fit ourselves into something we are not and this is the sadness we feel, we miss our true selves, and from there we start to disregard our true feelings, start to disregard our body and lose the sparkle that is innately us.
A gorgeous part about the stepping out that you have embarked on, is that this is essentially your return to living with your beauty in a responsible way – a way that holds everyone equally worthy of seeing and appreciating your light.
Truly beautiful to read Julie – thank you. Your description of when you started shutting off from yourself was deeply sad, all because I know it so well.
I think the lost and found will be pretty full with people that have lost their way along the track we call human life.
Such a divine sharing Julie and I absolutely love the fact that you are ‘once again coming out to play’, it does not feel at all that it is ‘long after your youth has been lived’, in fact the true youth of who you are is easy to feel and easy to celebrate.
It’s only when I found myself that I realised I had been missing.
Amazing grace. How sweet is the grace we are all endowed in to return to ourselves, the sweetest sound ever.
I have a funny feeling that many people would have been in the same ‘lost and found’ with you. Being pushed around with the ideals and beliefs of how we should live and be by society but never stopping to feel how deeply sensitive and loving we all are within. Your story like many others is a celebration of how you had said yes to bringing the world back the true spark reflection that serves all. Thank you for writing an inspiring glimpse of your life
It is so wonderful that you are exiting from the self-made cocoon Julie, to fly again. It is crazy how we allow the world to take away all that is divine about us. I too withdrew from life in a big way, and became aware quite a few years ago, before meeting Serge Benhayon, that in fact I was conducting a comfortable life in which I flew under the radar – I remember ‘thinking’ that I was managing to get through quite reasonably! But was I in service to humanity? No. I was looking after myself (not in thee self-caring way)and keeping myself safe. There is no safety at all in safety! Far better to be out of the cocoon and emanating our gorgeousness!
This is a great example of how we quite literally lace ourselves with what is very simply not us. There is a purity within us, that we have from birth until death – in fact, it never does leave us. It continues on to our next round on this earth. But the way we have carved out life on our planet, we take on layers and layers of an overlay that covers up this pristine purity. This is our greatest hurt. It is what in fact feeds the continuation of this pounding and lacing over the purity that exists in everyone. We hurt and so we lash out. And on it goes around and around.
Until the time comes when we realise that this hurt is something we choose to hold on to and to feed. And that we have the choice to heal the hurt and reconnect to the purity beneath. That’s the movement of love and universal healing. Because without any imposition on another, we let them be, in the purity they have always been and always will be.
When we make a choice to take steps away from our connection to our soul then everything else comes in to fill the space and then we act out in ways we never thought we would.
‘And the truth is, I have really missed me not being around.’ – me too, Julie. I treasure the fact that I have found myself, again.
Wow Julie, 20kgs of weight that just slowly slipped away as you travelled the ongoing journey of rediscovering the true you, now that’s impressive and a way better way to lose weight than boot camp or extreme dieting. It made me sad that you were not celebrated by society as you begun to blossom into a young woman. That is one of the reasons I am so passionate about The Girl to Woman Project, for it is festivals and events that are designed to encourage girls to know their own beauty, inside and out
Beautifully said Sarah! As women we can so forget our inner beauty which is the one that is our foundation, and in our society there is not much currently that truly nurtures this inner beauty and makes it the focus, rather there is a focus on the outer which is not foundational. The Girl to Woman Project is a rare exception where girls and women are encouraged to love themselves up from the inside out!
So many people I know who have been involved with Universal Medicine have truly changed their lives around, it has been amazing to watch people flourish and truly evolve from where they had been. I too am one such person who life has improved beyond measure due to the love shared by Serge Benhayon.
Your sharing reminds me of how much we don’t live who we truly are. Society is very comfortable for us to live far away from our truth. And so we lose out on the natural beauty humanity is, and as a consequence – look at the state of humanity today and all the war and separation there is. Yet if you meet someone who is truly themselves, then it is quick to see that their way of living attracts no friction or tension or anger or war. Their way of living simply reflects that it is possible to live in harmony, in equality and to deeply appreciate one another.
I was definitely lost and then I met Serge Benhayon and found myself again…. the words of Amazing Grace… ‘I once was lost but now I’m found’ definitely applies in my case.
I used to think I was angry at the world, at people who were abusive and at certain situations, but when I looked deeply into the depths of my anger I realised it was the result of deeply missing the connection with myself. So, what I have come to understand is that when we disconnect from ourselves this is when we are capable of atrocious behaviours because this separation from ourselves and feeling lost allows energies like anger, frustration, anxiety and fear, etc. to creep in. If we all choose to find ourselves again, to reconnect to who we are, then the war within ourselves and with each other would not exist.
Beautiful.. when we open ourselves up to God.. a whole other world is awaiting.. one of love and open communication thereafter. It is true – God is in our hands.
Julie, I love this blog and as I was reading it, I could just picture the gorgeous young woman you were and I love the fact that you have shared this as it may support lots of other women to not let their sparkle go out.
We start life off with the grace of freedom from the past and with joy and ease but come the teenage years we try to fit in and be ‘normal’; our past catches up with us and we end up living a shadow existence in the shadows of normalcy and rarely do we connect to who we truly are. It is only when we are gifted the reflection of someone who has held steady that we recognise that same truth in ourselves and end up following, not him or her, but the light in them as it is equally in us.
Indeed Gabriele, it is so important that we have the reflection of people that stayed steady or those who have made the steps to return to this natural state of being otherwise humanity will be lost for longer than needed.
When we are not living who we truly are, there is a deep sadness that comes with that. But often we don’t realise that is the case nor at times want to feel that sadness so we try lots of different ways to distract ourselves from it – and that can be withdrawing from life or throwing ourselves into it head on (without the most important ingredient – you!).I know I lived with a deep sadness that manifested as a darkness that clouded me for many years and despite best intentions (courses, spiritual events, exercise, counselling etc…) it never really shifted. It was only when I started to re-connect back to me and my divine spark, that the sadness fell away as I began to sparkle again.
Our actual steps are a wonderful way to re-connect back to our fullness. Today is a great day to confirm me with each step I take.
So beautiful Julie to read of you finding your way back to your true self. The Benhayon family consistently offers a powerful reflection for humanity, lighting the way for many to be inspired and ignited to return to truth and love.
I love the way that you can now say absolutely that there is nothing wrong with enjoying being in your body, enjoying the way you move and express and appreciating the quality in that, and that it’s not about being arrogant or ‘selling yourself’ but just enjoying being who you are.
Once we are aware of what we are doing, it changes already. That is one of the beauties of life.
It only takes one comment to change the direction of someone’s life; that’s how powerful and often destructive words can be. Like you Julie I had comments that turned me away from the life that was mine to live and towards a life that was in fact only an existence. And also like you I have begun to emerge from my self-imposed cocoon “long after my youth has been lived” with the absolute knowing that it is never too late to make changes in our lives; it is never too late to claim those beautiful wings once again.
” Find me at the lost and found ” I love the title and very appropriate thank you.
Yes, “Lost, found, and celebrated!”
I am reminded of being told to ‘not show off’ when I was quite young. In fact what I was feeling was the simple joy of expressing myself. This event had quite an impact on me as it ‘said’ to me that expressing joyfully was not ok and that it is necessary to tone myself down in order to be accepted. It has taken a long time to redress the balance and learn the joy of self-expression once again.
It is great to read that it is not only women that are told to not show off. How crippling is it to be told this, when all we are doing is just being who we are and not hiding. It makes me think that the most important thing we can say to the next generation is, don’t hide, just express yourself.
Those comments and looks often come from someone who also shutdown there joyful expression and learnt to live as less to keep others happy. When we see through the beliefs and lies of family, then it is easier to read exactly what is going on minus the reaction or emotion of the words that are being said.
The life of shut down you described I know it well, sometimes going back into it then my body reminds me that thats not a smart move to make. I choose that lesser life knowing it is lesser, but the lie that I have to be that way no longer holds me.
It’s never too late, no matter how solidified the cocoon walls seem to be, to start making choices that truly support us to feel more solid, more trusting of our own feelings and who we know ourselves to be.
We built the walls of our cocoon, and we all have the ability to fly. Using our wings is always just a choice away.
“It was quenched by a family member whose own hurts told me not to flaunt who I was or someone would take advantage of me for doing so.”
An amazing blog Julie, thank-you for sharing your vulnerability, your return.
I am particularly struck by your journey of recoil from moving and sensing yourself as a woman.
In a recent workshop presented by Serge Benhayon i shared with my group that i felt more able to look deeply into a man’s eyes and connect with them and that before this I had always pulled away from this because i had seen it as me being flirtatious or giving men the wrong impression. I feel that this shame runs very deep within the consciousness of women and it is through the support of esoteric women’s health and modalities such as Sacred Movement where women are once again reclaiming and expressing their natural sexiness, no come on just the pure celebration of being a woman.
That is beautiful LucindaB. I can very much relate to the averting of my gaze before a man, but until this point I hadn’t equated this to an underlying shame I still carried. Wow. That’s profound to connect to and to feel how much we shy away from bringing all of who we are to another, and how we all – men and women – lose out as a result.
WOW! Julie i relate to what you have shared and can feel the integrity that you have shared in. It reminds me of the way I approached Serge Benhayon’s teachings, which can be the same as you have shared but also I can bring in an attitude. With an attitude that of course I-now-that, and then running offf and sprouting the knowledge before it has become a Livingness!
Yes, the sparkle gives it away and there is also a movement to been seen and felt.
You found you at the lost and found and it almost feels you know how much more there is to come. This is ‘only’ the beginning of your way back home to the graceful, shining and powerful woman you are.
I love that no matter how long and far we think we might have been gone, we will always find our way back home eventually, and our true essence can never be lost and it is forever here waiting to be reignited.
“there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again”, I can absolutely feel that in your writing, very beautiful Julie.
The journey back to ourselves is one we all have to make, no matter who you are.
When someone lives their lives in the shadows, under the radar and not themselves in full, we don’t stop and question it – but what if we are missing out on the potential of hundreds, thousands of people who have learnt to keep themselves small rather than be comfortable with their own sparkle.
Oh my Julie, this is gorgeous – you are gorgeous!
Super sad that as a society we are brought up to be scared of our own light, totally inspiring when we meet and hear about a women who brought herself out of the illusion to rediscover her utter loveliness. Thank you Julie.
This is very beautiful, Julie – “I am emerging long after my youth has been lived. The woman who dares to look in the mirror now is coaxing herself to accept her older body, but there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.” That inner spark is eternally bright and there is shine out no matter what age, gender or race.
I know that feeling of re-discovering ourselves, Julie, finding our true voices, and reconnecting back to our own worth again. It presses some buttons sometimes with people around us but when we feel our true selves, I know now is the time for me when I am not ever giving up on myself again.
Julie, this sentence is very true,
“I’ve been on the ‘missing list’ for the majority of my life. Along with a lot of other ‘missing’ folk.”
I feel that we do not fully comprehend just how lost we are. I was with some friends recently and they have given themselves over to a hedonistic lifestyle, it reminded me of the Roman times, when a certain class of people just pursued a life of self-gratification. I wonder is this history repeating it self?
I love this Julie, when a woman starts reclaiming her gorgeousness back, that’s cause for huge appreciation of what you are now choosing for yourself.
I can feel the grief and the sadness over the fact that you disappeared. The joy you described of the beautiful sense of you in your early years is not present in the rest of the blog. There is still a sense of ’emerging’ and ‘not good enough’. Claiming our beauty is something we can do right now. We do not have to wait.
That’s what it is really about Julie, to come out and play, shining your way through with the returned twinkle in your eyes, thank you for sharing the love that you are.
‘Out of fear, lack of self-appreciation, lack of self-love and self-worth, I can dodge, avoid and delay the most gorgeous rediscovery of me.’ but the beauty is always there waiting to be reclaimed and to shine in it’s fullness. Love that you are allowing your twinkle to shine, much to appreciate.
Julie what a great sharing about re-finding you, amazing to appreciate the huge difference.
It is sad how we choose to shut down our deeply connected movements and thus lose the twinkle in our eyes and align our movements with most of the rest of humanity in order not to stand out. It is so awesome that we now have an increasing array of role models that reflect their twinkle and connection wherever they go. Thank you for sharing your journey of re-finding yourself and enjoy how you can now ‘once again come out and play.’
‘I didn’t speak often but when I did, it was for all’. I love this, that when connected we speak and express for all. Beautiful to be inspired by a quality you had as a child and one we all can reclaim.
To re-discover and playfully express the twinkle we feel inside is to be treasured at any age.
Thank you for sharing your story Julie, unfortunately, those comments, looks and put-downs are all so common in our society, it’s as if that has become our ‘norm’ – anyone shines, no matter what their age, we must stop them and bring them back down. The fact that you had felt your loveliness so strongly will serve you to come back to reclaim it and live it for the rest of your life, for you and for others.
“All that was left was the shell of who I used to be; who I actually am. When I looked in the mirror there was no light left to shine out to the world.” What an awesome piece of writing that touches the experience of many people. The fact that at 57 you can feel and see the twinkle returning is sanctity to the fact of Serge Benhayon, a man who through his steadfast commitment to love, truth and wisdom, holds a solid and immutable platform of healing that is enabling many people to re-ignite our inner flames, holding them strong and steady in a world that seeks to blow out our light.
Julie I love this, because as you say we know who we are we just vere away from it, hide it or shun it. It’s not like we need to change or become something new, just discard whatever it is we accumulated that is masking the gorgeous beautiful person we already are.
One of the last times I remember a sparkle in my eye was when I was 17, the twinkle and sparkle would come back now and again but by my 40’s it had disappeared and I felt like I was treading water and life had no purpose. Like you Julie since meeting Serge Benhayon the sparkle in my eyes is returning, and I am enjoining and enjoying life again. At 62 I am feeling more like me than I ever did and while I can’t undo my ageing body I feel younger and have more vitality than ever before,
“Despite the yearning for rediscovering my amazing self, I have come to understand that I can be pretty elusive. Out of fear, lack of self-appreciation, lack of self-love and self-worth, I can dodge, avoid and delay the most gorgeous rediscovery of me.” I can relate so well to this. However much I know I am amazing the beliefs, ideals and hurts have been so strong and deep I have kept choosing them. As I keep deepening my connection to the truth of me, greatly aided by the loving support of Simone Benhayon, all her family and Universal Medicine, so my Truth is increasingly expressed.
I love this. Thank you Julie, you write with a lightness and delicateness that lightens my heart and I feel the twinkle in my eyes shining.
A great analogy – that much of humanity, if not almost all are actually missing – missing from themselves and everybody else, hiding the grandness within.
ouch! This struck a deep chord with the realisation of that awful sense of separation and purely functioning in life and not being in true connection with others in my teens and for many years later. Coping strategies were held well in place to appear ‘normal’ and at the same time always feeling like a mechanical zombie inside.
“I chose to be, to the best of my ability, a zombie. It simply brought less attention my way. And it asked nothing of me”.
We all fall for the expectations and pressures of society say we cannot shine, we must not rock the boat, we must not stand out or stand strong in who we are because it could expose others too much. And the list goes on. But at the end of the day it is still our own choice to play small and contract and we need reflections from those like yourself and the Benhayon’s to show that we are not contraction, we are much more than what we have made ourselves to be.
Julie, thank you for sharing your experience of how you shut down your sexiness to fit in with the world and how you are rediscovering the gorgeous woman that you are, very beautiful to read that it is never too late and that we can all return to who we truly are with the twinkle in our eye.
Julie this is gorgeous to read – the re-ignition of that sparkle in your eyes is felt in your written words.
As I begin to live and express truth and love with more consistency ruffling a few feathers is becoming a natural part of my journey. What is becoming apparent is because I am learning to not ‘hang on’ to what I express and let go, there is more love in my relationships. What comes through me does not belong to me.
“And so began my true journey back to me.” Serge Benhayon reminds us all that the amazing being is never truly lost but just buried under layers of what we are not.
The beauty in return, is every choice to do so, we are deepening our own love just a bit more. We do this for a few times and realise, not choosing to return is by far less fulfilling, but we still choose that don’t we? Which there is a lot to appreciate as we are still not giving up the process of eventually allowing this movement to be so natural that it simply happens.
this line “I chose to be, to the best of my ability, a zombie. It simply brought less attention my way. And it asked nothing of me.” pulled my attention today, As while we may think that numbing ourselves is not asking anything to me it actually does. As it asks us to stop true movement of the body and instead introduces a movement that is harmful to it; it asks us to let go of the sparkles in our eyes and instead to let our eyes mirror the sadness we feel inside of not living the beauty that still lives within; it asks us to let go of the heavenly thought and instead to have depressed thoughts about ourselves and so on.
It is incredible, no matter how hard we try to lose our selves there is always a spark that can never be extinguished within us all. Serge Benhayon is the fan that reignites our fire, and all we have to do is be open again.
It’s only when we admit how lost we are that we find the truth. Our spirit does everything it can not to admit that it is the instigator of it all. But in truth some of the greatest words we can say are to admit we don’t know which way to go. Thank you Julie for sharing this blog.
“What I did feel though, was a movement in my body that had a lovely flow when I walked, I enjoyed the feel of fabric around my body, I loved the soft curves my body was developing and the twinkle in my eyes that lit up my face when I looked in the mirror.” This is a gorgeous appreciation of your own body, how lovely to feel. I had difficulty feeling this for most of my teens, due to the same sense of outer judgement coming at me from all angles. In this blog l feel how you’ve claimed yourself back again and it feels empowering.
I find the true gift we have the opportunity to unwrap everyday is the space to simply reveal more and more of who we naturally are and learn to confirm and appreciate this more and more and that is a celebration we can walk, talk and express from constantly.
I can really relate to what you have written Julie, thank you for expressing this for all women so beautifully.
It is never too late to rediscover the spark in you, that is a gift for everyone else.
I love that you’re back twinkling and sharing it with the world Julie. And your story highlights how much we now know and understand movement and how that changes what we present to the world.
Choosing to return to you and accept who you are is a real celebration.
This is so gorgeous to read Julie. A woman reclaiming the beauty that she has always been.
I rejected myself at birth, and probably for lifetimes before that, and it is quite a humbling experience to then accept our choices long after our youth has been lived, and to look in the mirror now and accept our older bodies… however… the love, joy, delight, playfulness and vitality that were always there remain forever.
As you say Paula, it is never to late to return to that natural state of joy and vitality that has always remained within, available for us to rediscover and to be lived again.
How awesome to become more claimed as we age rather than less so. To love and accept ourselves feeling more beautiful as time passes. Speaking for myself (at nearly 47) I have never felt more at ease in my own body, nor have I appreciated its delicacy and beauty more – something I simply couldn’t do in my 20s. The more I surrender the more it shows in my body and on my face, the more it confirms the quality I have begun to live in.
I can so relate to this Julie…”… there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again and it is that twinkle that is encouraging the woman within to once again come out and play.” It is truly a delight to see that twinkle start to appear and to see the gorgeous woman (me) staring back at me… it is something to appreciate and brings joy even writing about it.
Especially someone in their elderly years is so inspiring to all the women, young and old. We need women like Julie, that live their spark in the age of 57. There is never a fading away of beauty in women, just an inner acceptance of the beauty that is inside is needed and the world gets blessed by a beauty beyond words.
Beauty from the inside shining out for all to see, doesn’t matter what age or what your story was as it is within us all if we shine and let our twinkle out.
It is sad how from a comment, a look, or a feeling picked up from another we start to shut that sparkle and loveliness down to end up living a life of misery and something that is not true to us. GREAT you are starting to claim this back .. truly wonder-full. In doing this it also sends out a message to everyone else to say to them shine and continue to sparkle do not dull your light or love for anyone for if others do not want to live this that is up to them but you can.
What a wonderful sharing Julie! Thank you for reminding me of some of my own journey of the past and the amazingness of the Benhayon family . To have connected with Serge Benhayon and the truth of the Ageless Wisdom that is within all of us is a true blessing.
Thank you Julie, it’s beautiful to read of the quality in yourself that you’ve re-connected with and the clarity you’ve unfolded in your life, nurturing the inner-twinkle that was always there and letting it shine again.
Haha and a lovely story that goes back to a point where I can see the same thing. I remember being younger and in particular parts at school where questions I had weren’t answered or the way they were answered made it feel like it wasn’t a good idea to ask them again. What I would have done to have a community around me like I have now, a community that not only allows you to ask those questions but also supports the answers as well to come out. The support that is offered brings us back to unwrap or revisit all that has been shut down before and enables us to walk free again.
“the world didn’t work that way”. I remember being told similar things when expressing outside the box when young. Unfortunately we can only see what we are willing to see. Many people give up on the possibility that we can live who we are in truth on this planet, and we need to not compromise or settle for anything less.
What a beautiful blog thank you Julie. You can really tell when you look at people today how much they are going through the motions or mechanics of life, surviving and functioning but not really enjoying life. When you look in people’s eyes how often do you see a real sparkle there? Usually I see a dullness because people have shut themselves down so much and withdrawn from life. How wonderful that there are people like you who are discovering how to ‘turn the lights back on’.
Thank you for sharing your return to the joy you naturally felt as a child Julie, that is worth celebrating. Why is it we may subscribe to something outside of us telling us how it is when we have clearly felt the truth in our own bodies?
Our twinkle never dies, it simply gets pushed to the side until such a time that we make the choice to remove the layers of lies that have come to obscure it. Welcome home Julie, it is as if you have never left 😉
Thank you Liane, ” Welcome home Julie, it is as if you have never left” has just brought the biggest smile to my face and warming in my heart.
I am slowly slowly coming to life again. How I’ve truly missed that sparkle. That reflection in the mirror tells me where I am at most days. Sometimes the sparkle is evident, others days it has waned while I get the balance of holding myself steady. The wobbles are still an issue but it’s a work in progress worth attending.
Beautiful. A star does not stop shining beneath the clouds that move in to mask it. It just keeps twinkling in the knowing that the clouds will eventually dissolve. In this way we all help to illuminate the night we are passing through. By each other’s side we hold steady through the storm.
It is deeply sad that we cocoon ourselves like this, as your story could be shared by many across the world. But what is absolutely divinely delightful, is that it is never actually lost, we can hide and bury but it is always there. The twinkle in your eye, sway in your hips is ALWAYS there, just waiting ever-so-patiently for us to return to it. Gorgeous work for returning to it Julie, and thank you for sharing your story with us. I was moved to tears this morning.
I can so relate to this, I buried myself in excess weight to not stand out and to create a buffer between myself and everyone else, I rejected myself and what I knew to be true and in that created a body that reinforced this by getting everyone else to reject me. It has taken time and healing to let go of all these layers and to come back to myself.
Butterflies are amazing, definitely a reflection of how we can transform simply and completely by being absolutely committed to the now with no desire to hold on to or control. Magnificent is the universe and the intelligence we are from, truly from the most amazing love and inspiration.
Julie, I have seen that twinkle in your eye and it is beautiful. This blog could well have been my own story I can relate to so many parts of it, especially the way we are affected by what someone said when we were younger about not advertising ourselves, not looking sexy, even though it is for ourselves not for anybody else. I used to hate wolf whistles too then as an older adult I used to jokingly say, ‘I wish I got a few now’. But I don’t need any wolf whistles, I can feel the effect of how I walk with my once again slim body, it feels great when I walk tall, when I feel my hips, when I walk with full conscious presence.
Julie your sharing and reflection is truly lovely, thank you. There are many lost and found moments still but the unwavering reflection of the Benhayon’s is a guide that is deeply appreciated by me and many.
This is a great way of expressing what happens to most of us and the wildernesses we have to endure before we find the way home, a home that should never have been left.
So many of us learn to shut down who we are from a young age, and essentially live a card-board cut out of ourselves. Too much vitality, gorgeousness and sparkle can trigger jealousy in others – but when we contract or shy away as a result, then everyone loses including us, as there is no longer the reminder that we can all sparkle. Hence the importance of holding on to our sparkle – so that we can all re-learn to do so equally. Some will react to this, get upset and kick up a fight, but in the end that is what they too crave!
This is gorgeous Julie, your transformation is so beautiful and I can relate to this too. The solidified cocoon is such a great description because I too have felt lost but have now found myself again, thanks to Serge Benhayon’s loving support and incredible inspiration. I am slowly unfolding my wings as I come out of my cocoon and learning to fly again.
Julie, this is a gorgeous sharing – and one that so many of us can relate to! The fact that you are finding your sparkle yet again is testament to the fact that the choices you are making now are nurturing the true you and allowing you to unfold and open like a flower bud!
Very beautiful to see the butterfly flying Julie! Thank you for your sharing.
Thank you Julie, what is evident here is that all we were and always have been, regardless of the choices we have made along the way, is never truly lost. You have shown that by meeting another who sees us in our essence and not what we have become as a result of shutting away and or down who we naturally, we can simply reconnect and regather ourselves step by step.
Julie what you share is a journey for many, but the beauty is you have found your way back and begun to reclaim who you are. The beautiful support and reflection of the Benhayon family is amazing.
I wonder if we consider ourselves ‘missing’ or if we blame and numb to avoid considering that we are the ones who walked away from the truth of who we are because it is easier than knowing we have the power to change that aching feeling of loss and tension we feel inside. The longer we numb and wait for someone to save us, the more we seal that cocoon you speak of that we think keeps us safe. There is so much in this blog to consider as we perhaps peek out to see what is outside our cocoon.
I love that it is never ‘too late’ to re-discover ourselves. It is innately within and waits patiently for our return, as return we all will in our own time.
Spot on Lucy – never too late to return! And the beauty is that there is nothing ‘new’ to learn but rather lots to un-learn in order to let the true self out!
This turns so much of the way we have loved on its head doesn’t it! because we genuinely think we have to learn to move forward, but actually there is so much about how we even ‘think’ to unlearn!
The funny thing is, even though I too was missing for most of my life, I never realised that I was. It’s kind of crazy that such a substantial thing as ‘ourselves’ can be missing and yet we can lack the conscious awareness to know that it is.
So true Alexis, I have felt for years that something was missing but I wasn’t aware what that was until I met Serge Benhayon and the gorgeous people at Universal Medicine supporting me to rediscover myself again and to come back to the true me.
Beautiful Julie. I missed myself and the Love I knew beyond measure for the years I said No to it. What a joy it is to hold it so close and dear now.
How odd that the thing we miss the most is the very essence of our being – love.
‘Out of fear, lack of self-appreciation, lack of self-love and self-worth, I can dodge, avoid and delay the most gorgeous rediscovery of me.’ We can all do this and we can also support each other to come back to our true selves too. This support is invaluable and by having sessions with the like of Michael Benhayon we realise more poignantly where we need put our focus in our return to our true selves, unencumbered by the outside world.
” but there is a twinkle that is beginning to shine again ” Thank you Julie its so beautiful you have re- discovered your twinkle, let it sparkle.
Thank you John.
Yes we are only coming back to that what we already are we are not creating something new, we are just coming back.
How many people are lost to feeling lesser, hiding themselves away and trying not to be noticed – people who are there in body but not in all of who they are
Of note that all the painful foray of abandoning self described here which most of us are so familiar with, would be less likely if there was reflections around us such as. provided by Serge Benhayon that recognised and honoured the truth of who we are. This offers a loving realisation of the inspiring support and reflection we could each choose to be for one another in life.
It was very beautiful to read these words. So many of us have chosen to shut our true, beautiful and glorious selves away. The most amazing thing is though that whilst we may shut it away, it is always there to let out again. The choice is ours.
This story of shutting down is common to many of us and very relatable. It is a crime that young women agree made to feel ashamed of their loveliness or that it will attract the wrong attention, yet that is the society we live in. And as in this case it is often other women who perpetuate the shutting down. Perhaps they don’t want to see the reflection of what they have left behind.
I love how you are dumping the illusion that you are ‘past it’. I have been through a similar life to you and we find we can drop most of our ‘lost’ times and find our true youth from within. You are going to be coming to the gorgeous sixth decade soon, where it is so lovely to reconnect to our self worth and return to the twinkling eyes again.
I can relate to the elusiveness you share about and for me building a daily foundation of appreciation and confirmation has been key to me re-finding myself. Thank you for sharing Julie – It is so gorgeous to feel your twinkle returning and shining out for all to feel.
Finding ourselves again is truly possible when the intention to find the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is searched for.
The jealousy that is stirred in another when we flaunt what is naturally there to be expressed is clearly sensed but choose to override it. We place and think what another is saying is true avoiding the real truth within ourselves. How can we truly love another when we ignore the truth and love within our body?
Thank you Julie for sharing your experience and highlighting how we can lose ourselves – not with anything too ‘crazy’ but with a knowing that how we are living is not it – that it is a form of us withdrawing. And as many others will say, Serge Benhayon has been one such man who has inspired us to realise what we are not living, and from that make a choice to come back to who we are.
Serge Benhayon is found like a light shining bright showing the way and through that many others have found themselves and turned their light back on for others to find the way. It only takes one and for that I too appreciate this man way beyond any words that exist.
Thank you for sharing this story with us, Julie. I feel very touched by your openness and the palpable joy of re-discovering the beauty and divine spark that has always resided within.
It is so wonderful to have you back Julie – time for us all to return now and come out and play – it is all I ever wanted.
Yes Nicola, It is all I ever wanted as well. It doesn’t feel great to be suppressed.
It doesn’t feel great at all – it feels AWFUL!
The butterfly is always there, waiting to be released from the cocoon, no matter how lost we feel we may be. When we choose to let it out, then we can truly fly.
‘Out of fear, lack of self-appreciation, lack of self-love and self-worth, I can dodge, avoid and delay the most gorgeous rediscovery of me.’ We often hold on to our patterns because they are familiar but when we know there is untapped gold within waiting to be lived our purpose reignites. I find that no matter how long I delay the motivation to keep chipping away at is constantly there and I know that we eventually arrive at the point where we are over the games we play and the scales tip in favour of making each moment about love to the best of our ability.
We do know who we are underneath all the layers of habits and behaviours we have adapted, and that is the most beautiful thing because we can always return to it.
How beautiful it is that no matter what has happened in our lives, no matter how far we have strayed, we can always make that choice to return back to the truth of our essence. And every step in that return is accompanied by a wonderful sense of unfoldment. It isn’t always easy, but there is in my experience a strong feeling of support in the body – a bodily ‘yes’ from head to toe, every time we move closer to the truth of our hearts.
Beautifully said, Richard. We absolutely do know and can feel each joyfully unfolding step back to our true nature.
The beauty of being at the lost and found is that ‘it’ is never truly lost, it is held for ever until such time that the owner remembers where it is at and comes back to recollect it.
And the finding has started already by the mere fact that one stands at the lost and found realising that something is missing.
I love that Esther although in all fairness, that is where the works start as there will be many times there that will be sold to us as ours and it is up to us to connect deeply and sense what is true and what is not.
Yes, so true, it is where we are asked to be willing to really get to know ourselves, to come step by step closer to what we are truly missing, and not fall for the many, many substitutes we have learned to fill ourselves with.
It is so sad that we have to leave the truth of what we know for a lesser life in the wilderness of semi-truths and the world of glamour and illusion only to spend time and money getting back to a place we never should have left.
It’s important to claim the fact that our values, beauty and confidence is never ‘lost’… We can try to hide it or shut it down, but as you’ve demonstrated Julie at any point in our lives we can make the steps to reconnect and reignite the spark inside.
You are a great example of being found and not lost Miss Ray also 🙂
No amount of losing ourselves cannot be undone by working on a connection to who we are within. And indeed, it is with the work and teachings of Serge Benhayon which have made this accessible and possible for the world.
Having access to a knowingness as a child which we then chose to ignore/ hide/ put somewhere for safe keeping is immeasurably sad. I can so relate to being elusive with myself, dodging and delaying that full return to who I naturally am out of a fear of what others may say and think. None of this would have been possible if it wasn’t for meeting Serge Benhayon all those years ago who was at the time the only person who I had met that actually can see people for who they truly are in the beauty of their essence, everything else is there for protection.
I am so appreciative of the day I chose to check out this guy Serge Benhayon whose flyer had remained on my desk for so long. The pull to respond was very strong. I recall the first day i met Serge and he walked with me over to the dining room chatting, connecting and I could feel his steadiness. He was just ‘one of us’. Here was someone who, unlike the other ‘gurus’ I had paid money to go their workshops didn’t separate himself from the very people who came to hear him. I knew I was finally in the right place.
I certainly needed the reflection of Serge Benhayon and his family, to get to know myself actually. I was so far away of who I was and if no one around you is actually supporting and seeing your true essence, how will you otherwise get out of it, if there is no reflection of someone who lives their essence to be a clear mirror towards you?!