Men Being Men and Women Being Women

I have been a tomboy most of my life and have only just started feeling like I am woman!

It has been a slow transformation. I started life on the sea as a sailor: I was tough and I could do most things the guys could. I then worked with horses and again, I could unload a container full of heavy bags of feed and think nothing of it. And even recently in my house renovations I cut timber and laid the floor with the guys. I thought I had to do all this to prove that I could.

However, after having a recent conversation with a man in my life, I realised that the guys know we can do it, but the truth is we don’t have to do it or prove it!

This man has always been in relationships with tom girls and has recently started dating a woman who’s comfortable in her femininity and knows how to live and express as a woman. He was sharing how different it is and how lovely it is to be with a woman who is not competing with him and who allows him to be the man.

We talked about this and I realised that when we as women live in our natural delicate and tender way, we give men permission to hold us in that delicateness and it also gives them permission to be more tender with themselves, but if we as women harden and compete there is no marker or foundation for either of us to connect with our feminine side or our natural sacredness.

So in my new relationship I am opening up and surrendering to being supported, to allowing the support, allowing a man to carry the heavy things, and I am also enjoying being a woman, being more delicate and sweet and sharing these qualities that I have always had but have kept hidden for a long, long time.

By Rosie Bason, Massage therapist and healing practitioner, Goonellabah

Related Reading:
Who Creates the Image of Women?
Our Delicateness
For Men Only (unless you’re a woman)



786 thoughts on “Men Being Men and Women Being Women

  1. Absoulutely Rosie, when we find True inner stillness 🥰 everything else that our life has offered pails into a fading memory and our life becomes one of magnificence at every corner.

  2. Women have a responsibility to reflect to young girls and young boys the beauty and sacredness of living in a woman’s body. And men have a responsibility to reflect the strength in their tenderness.

  3. Sharing our True sensitivities and tenderness has to be understood from the way we can appreciate our essences and the True-intimacy we develop with everyone. We would definitely appreciate and hold intimacy with others when we understand the energetic meaning, and that is to be more intimate is a process of letting people in the most religious way. And thus appreciation and intimacy go hand in hand as we relearn to let people in and deepen our relationship with our Soul.

  4. This was great reading this as it gave me space to reflect how have I been in relationships in the past and I have seen that I have not allowed myself to just be the woman I am or surrender to truly being supported I have always had a feeling of ‘I have to do things myself!’. Thanks.

    1. When we eliminate the “I” and “ME” in all our relationships we develop an inner wisdom that connects us to a divine way of living that eliminates the self and opens us to be the tender delicate beings we all innately are.

  5. The world looks very different when you embrace the gender you feel is most natural to you. I spent much of my childhood wishing I was a boy because boys had so much privilege. Life looked so easy for them, or so it seemed. Now I can see that whatever gender you identify with there is an embracing of sensitivity needed because if we are constantly trying to be something we are not, then that tension can make us mentally and physically sick.

    1. I agree with you Lucy, I wanted to be a boy because from my perspective as a child growing up my brother had all the privileges that the girls in the family did not have. But actually males have a pretty rough time of it too, because they are also stereotyped into a male role that is as false as the role females are squeezed into. And we have no one to blame except ourselves because we all collectively made society what it is today.

  6. Having played all these different roles over many ,many lives we all understand the games we are playing when it comes to sexuality and as you have shared Rosie we can now appreciate we are more than this physical vessel and thus learn how to live in a True way as a True responsibility.

  7. ” . . . when we as women live in our natural delicate and tender way, we give men permission to hold us in that delicateness and it also gives them permission to be more tender with themselves . . .” I only can agree Rosie and I love it that you wrote about it as so many women are hard and fighting their delicateness – hence perhaps this is one reason why we as a society are a bit out of order so to speak.

    1. Being pricked by these women on many occasions it is so much more Loving to be open, and let every one in (true intimacy), which developed a true fragility and delicateness that women are innately.

  8. As woman we have nothing to prove, equally when I am around men who are open to being tender and sweet it supports me to let go even more and be more of the woman I am.

    1. Ah interesting, are we pleasing the other because they’re already disconnected & showing them up could be detrimental? Well in that case we’re not doign any favours for anyone…

    2. Absolutely, we can simply end up with walls of so-called-protection, and being open and transparent re-parents us to the true sensitivities and deliciousness we all are and we simply feel the true power that this connection brings without any persona.

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