Have you ever found yourself aware of things that you had no ‘logical’ way of knowing? For many years my reaction to my ability to know things caused me a lot of anxiety. When I found my way to Serge Benhayon, I had spent a lifetime trying to shut my ‘knowing’ down. Thanks to Serge, I now have a name and a new understanding for the things I have been able to feel under the surface of life – Clairsentience.
Clairsentience as I now understand it, is simply our ability to read what is really going on. It is the really bad feeling about a stranger for no apparent reason, the ability to see through the games people play and the strong feeling we get to do something out of the ordinary that only makes sense later. Clairsentience is as useful as it is confronting, as it asks us to be aware of not only exactly what is happening, but why it is happening too.
Self-doubt goes hand in hand with denying my own clairsentience. I have made many mistakes in my life, but when I examine these errors of judgment closely I get the sense that the biggest ‘ouch’ of all is the fact that I could read what was really going on all along. When a relationship ended I was shocked and deeply sad… but the writing had been on the wall from day one. When I was ripped off in a foreign country, the thing that really got to me was the fact that I had handed over my cash even though I felt things were not right.
Why do I doubt myself? The first thing that stands out for me is the fact that I want the truth to be different from what it is. I wanted my boyfriend and I to live happily ever after. I wanted to live in a world where people don’t rip each other off. And here’s the clincher… I wanted to make unloving choices without having to face the consequences.
It’s come to my attention that there are many aspects of the way the world is currently operating that I react to; things like war, cyber bullying, human trafficking, animal cruelty, corruption, paedophilia, addiction and depression… I could go on for pages. When I choose to react, shut down and stop reading what is really going on, I become a not so innocent bystander, looking on and doing nothing to address the current state of things.
And that’s just the big stuff. The everyday stuff is even worse in a way. We sense it when someone betrays us; we know when someone speaks our name in an unloving way. We can feel the sadness expressed in the movements of strangers at the supermarket and in the vacant eyes of people we see in our social media feeds. And what have I used to avoid feeling the devastation we are in as a collective human population? Self-doubt.
So why do I choose self-doubt over my natural clairsentience? Effectively, self-doubt is a choice to ‘put my head in the sand’ like the proverbial ostrich. I’m not actually sure what would happen to an ostrich if it used this as a defence mechanism, but I’m certain it wouldn’t be pretty or particularly safe.
Incidentally, I looked this up and ostriches don’t respond to danger in this way at all. In fact, when danger comes their way they hightail it out of there. The poor old ostrich is more likely to be looking for pebbles to help digest its last meal; (whether or not the ostrich is trying to dull down its awareness with a meal that needs pebbles in order to be digested, is a matter for another blog). Jokes aside, the animal kingdom often shows us how natural it is to sense the truth. For them, it’s a matter of life and death and they are much better at moving on, letting go and being in the present, once danger passes too.
As I have begun to allow myself to see self-doubt for the choice that it is, it has unravelled itself. I don’t always feel as though I have the answers, but I know they will come to me if I am open to receiving the truth, because clairsentience is natural to me, as it is to each and every one of us.
Our clairsentience will always show us the way home and the truth of who we are. Self-doubt is nothing but a game we play with ourselves, it is not real. It can seem as if I can’t feel what’s true at times, but if I connect to myself, the answers are never far away. I didn’t know that ostriches were much smarter than we give them credit for before I wrote this blog, but I did trust my clairsentience and now I’m another step closer to the truth.
By Leonne Sharkey, Melbourne