Being Responsible for the Life I Live

Do you ever get the feeling there is more to life? That there is more to you than meets the eye?

This is something I’ve felt for most of my life, never feeling content, always on the search for more, always seeking outside of myself for the next thing that would “make me” feel content. This created a constant internal struggle, to avoid what I was truly feeling within.

Opting for a snack, a movie, a comfy chair and a good gossip magazine, a double session of Pilates, a nice distracting conversation or night out with a friend, none of which were really any different from the other. I used all of them to keep me from avoiding the little niggle within.

It got to the point where it became harder and harder to ignore, always being asked by my body to look at my choices, to observe the quality in which I lived, the way I was with myself, how much and how often I ate, and of course what kinds of foods I chose to consume. My body was always making me aware of how these choices affected me in many ways such as bloating, exhaustion, headaches, sinus, and the early stages of illness and disease, such as fibromyalgia. It was these external signs that made it impossible to for me to ignore the internal struggle I had been feeling for so long, yet I had done what I thought was a good job of ignoring it.

Alcohol, drugs and of course my main drug of choice – food, my ‘go to’ for relief, to avoid and bury all that I did not want to feel or face, at the time seemed like the ideal distraction.

We all have vices of some kind: some use alcohol, some use drugs, others food, shopping, hobbies, becoming a mother, mothering, becoming obsessed with work – distraction comes in many forms… some we do not even recognise as being that in the first place.

The feeling that there has to be more to life is a feeling we have mastered avoiding at all costs, building a life for ourselves that is comfortable, and one that allows us to exist without having to do or be more than that which we have created ourselves to be. When I realised this it shocked me at first; a realisation that I had created and was responsible for the life I live, the person I am and the choices I make.

It was so easy to blame others, to complain and play the victim, but how often do we stop to look at our responsibility for the way we are living and the person we have allowed ourselves to become?

I know for me life has always been interesting: I grew up in what you would call a middle-class family, getting an apprenticeship when I left school, ticking all the boxes you could say, and yes, with the occasional de-railing, but always jumping back on the roundabout of life to do it all again.

Even with ticking the boxes, living comfortably, having plenty of friends, being extremely social, having a successful career and a loving partner, no matter what was happening in my life, I always felt an emptiness, and that there was something missing.

Letting myself feel that everything I had done and lived up until that point was designed to keep myself living less, – to live up to a picture of how I thought I should be for everyone else, – was a huge OUCH!

Feeling the truth of who we are and the absolute grandness that is naturally there can be overwhelming and daunting, and can often attract a lot of attention that at times we may not know what to do with. The use of avoidance, distraction, discontentment, sympathy and not wanting to feel life makes sense when so many of us don’t want to take responsibility for the way we are living, and how far we have come from what a true community and true family is. Whilst illness and disease has gone through the roof, we are living longer, but our quality of life has lessened – how much evidence do we need that we are avoiding our true way of being?

I slowly began to make different choices, and to look at how and why I had got myself to where I was, – which let me tell you was a long way from who I truly was and living the life of love I craved.

Even to this day I wake up and feel constantly that there is more, that I am more, that what I am living is still not it.

I am far from perfect and still developing and deepening the choices I make, but with the commitment and support I have from the entire Benhayon family, Universal Medicine and the incredible unwavering, loving reflection from Serge Benhayon, there is absolutely no way I would choose to go back to the way I lived before.

I am now able to wake up in the mornings feeling vital, alive and appreciating the day ahead, letting myself feel how what I eat and the choices I make affects my body, and how this then impacts how I am with others and how I parent my children.

When a man comes along who lives, speaks, walks and is the absolute embodiment of what is it to live a life of love, true family and community, it is truly inspiring to witness. Serge Benhayon is this role model that has confirmed that there is indeed more to life, and that has inspired me to live a life of true responsibility.

By Nicole Serafin, Age 45, Tintenbar, NSW, Australia

Related Reading:
Change your life
Taking True Responsibility for my Behaviour
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine – changing the way we understand life

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525 thoughts on “Being Responsible for the Life I Live

  1. It seems strange that we lose connection to the fact that we are responsible for the life that we live and yet it happens to a lot of us. To the extent that we often can feel at the mercy of what life is doing to us rather than a solid connection to who we truly are in essence and living life from that point.

  2. This blog could have equally been titled – ‘Being Responsible for the Love We Live’, as we are all love in essence and thus it is up to us how much uf this grandness we let out.

  3. We do anything to avoid taking responsibility for ourselves, our relationships, our lives, our choices, our hurts, our ailments, but the sad thing is that it had not dawned on most of us before we met Serge Benhayon that we hadn’t ever realised that having true purpose and taking responsibility is the best medicine for all our woes.

  4. Taking back the responsibility for our lives is always inspiring and empowering, it may not be easy and it may take patience to truly change, but knowing the responsibility is an amazing start, and the consistency with ourselves to always take deeper responsibility is a relationship I would never want to quit.

  5. ‘It was so easy to blame others, to complain and play the victim, but how often do we stop to look at our responsibility for the way we are living and the person we have allowed ourselves to become?’ These are words of wisdom that we all should ponder and reflect on – very well said Nicole.

  6. When I bemoan the lack of depth and honesty in the world, I have to stop and recognise that I have contributed to this societal pool by also wanting comfort and irresponsibility in the way I live.

  7. “Do you ever get the feeling there is more to life? That there is more to you than meets the eye?”
    The answer for me has to be a resounding yes. I have been watching on line a professor present the history of the Ageless Wisdom and every cell in my body knows what he is presenting is the truth and that we are all the same. We have chosen to forget and there by neglect our responsibility to live in a way that honours our bodies. Instead there is an aspect of us that trashes the body knowing that it is immortal and can get a new body and do the same all over again. We think, we think but we do not think and for the most part we are not in control of our bodies.

  8. Once you are introduced to the grander sense of you, you realise there are things in life that allow you to feel that grandness, and things in life that don’t allow you to feel that grandness. Responsibility is simply stopping all the actions or thoughts or behaviours that stop you feeling grand and developing and refining the ones that do.

  9. I love to look back and see how much I have changed over the past few years and it is because of the deep understanding that has expanded within me knowing that there is more to life that meets the eye. This has been through a learning and observation of how the Benhayon family live. It is no act, they sort out their issues constantly and observe everything and learn from it. Life can be very tricky but when we take more responsibility of our lives, we are able to move forwards.

  10. What is rather fascinating about responsibility is that when you are embracing more and more of the energetic responsibility of the quality of how we are in each moment it is actually a very very beautiful feeling to live. You feel a fullness and an authority within yourself that is no less than glorious and far greater than any of the highs or stimulations that may have come from our vices and medications of the past.

  11. I agree with you Nicole – there is always that pull to be more – a purposeful, continuous unfolding and re-turning to the infinite, multidimensional divine beings that we are.
    “Even to this day I wake up and feel constantly that there is more, that I am more, that what I am living is still not it”.

  12. There comes a point when we get so disillusioned with life that there is no other choice but to take responsibility and stop playing the victim of circumstances.

  13. Nicole I so agree with you, I recently met many people at a gathering that I hadn’t seen for may be 30 + years, I felt the relief in my body that I had met Serge Benhayon and acted on his wise words. Waking my self up from the deep sleep I was in has not been easy but so worth the effort. I can feel how for most of us we are sleep walking through life seemingly ‘closed off’ to one another in an attempt to protect ourselves from further hurt. It is in this state of ‘closed off ‘ that we can actually do the most damage to each other through arguments, abuse, hate which can lead to civil unrest and even war.

  14. Taking responsibility for the love and grandness we are is an amazing concept and knowing re introduced to us by Serge Benhayon by giving ourselves permission to be all we are and reconnect to this from inside by our every movements and the way we live.

  15. When you truly feel into responsibility it isn’t actually the burden that we believed or made it to be, it is actually very loving and honouring of the truth of us all.

  16. I feel that what you say Nicole is so true, that we are living a lesser life one of comfort and indulgence and if something goes wrong with it there is always someone else to blame rather than actually looking at our part in how we live. I feel that illness and disease will have to get a lot worse before we are brought to our senses that as individuals we do have a responsibility to how we live

  17. I know and have always known when I haven’t been on track with responsibility because I immediately feel the tension in the body as that choice ripples through the body that is not in line with my Divine particles. It has been that a lot of the time I would pretend that I don’t feel it so I don’t have to look at the choices away from who I am and the impact that this has so the denial game has been strong. The more awareness I bring to this and honesty the closer I feel my particles become spacious and alive as opposed to suffocated and shutdown.

  18. We all want to avoid responsibility, we don’t think we do, but we do. Why is this the case? I feel like we want the easy road, the way forward that doesn’t create conflict or disturbances with ourselves or others. Yet that is what we sometimes need in order to heal or just evolve.

  19. The more I connect to me the more deeply gorgeous I feel, I just love to feel this beauty within me as I go about my day. There is a steadiness and I can now observe what is going on around me without any inclination to get involved. This is a completely different way of living and the more I build this in my body the more I want to go deeper with it, it’s like diving into deep water and finding I can still breathe.

  20. Its not an easy thing to be willing to look at all of our choices, honestly within needing to numb ourselves from what we feel or attempt to distract ourselves. But we do need to if we want to choose to step out of those choices. That feeling that there is more and that we are more is the thing that helps us make that shift to different more loving choices and it is absolutely possible.

  21. Coming to understand the responsibility that I have as a member of humanity has totally changed the way I live my life. The idea of being responsible used to scare me as it always felt like a huge and onerous weight, so I would avoid it at all costs. How things have changed! These days I embrace my responsibility so willingly especially the responsibility that comes with being an elder.

  22. It is interesting that the moments we get to feel how amazing we are those moments that usually don’t last that long as we turn to our patterns and behaviours in order to enjoin others and stay in the comfort of life. It is through the commitment to our evolution that we can embrace responsibility and the feel the joy of supporting our bothers be who they truly are.

    1. I’ve had many of those amazing moments now to know that going back to my ill behaviours isn’t worth it. That doesn’t stop me but it’s now in my awareness that these patterns will need to be addressed. When compared to how beautiful I am in those moments the behaviours don’t compare.

  23. I think I have come across this at the most opportune moment. I have never thought about being responsible for my life yet I am the biggest critic of it. I want and will start small because I want to experience living a life full of love and not seeking temporary things to enjoy this life I have. Thank you!

    1. I can relate to this, “I have never thought about being responsible for my life yet I am the biggest critic of it.”. I’ve found for myself that 9 times out of 10, the parts I react to in another or have criticized, are the parts of myself I need to bring attention to. I love the awareness this offers us.

  24. I also find it interesting the way we have made life about quantity first i.e. how long we live, how much fortune we accumulate all at the expense of our bodies and very seldom do we stop and contemplate or even consider the quality of our living and relationships with self and others alike for that is what creates a true foundation that will back us up with anything we encounter in life.

  25. The word distraction comes from the verb distract and from Latin distractus, past participle of distrahere “draw in different directions.” Distraction is therefore a very specific type of movement of going nowhere.  

  26. Super important for us to take responsibility for how we live and the choices we make in it. But instead we allow for manipulations, distractions, numbing and war. Have we not learned that it doesn’t solve anything? There is still much to learn!

  27. My choices affect and shape my life. I have in the past gotten overwhelmed and said I can’t change, it’s too much, as I wanted to this morning but then there was a switch. One thing at a time, change one choice at a time is the way forward. Trying to be responsible for everything at once freezes me and it doesn’t work.

  28. Yes the more we ignore the harder it is to ignore, which means we have to keep increasing those things that dull or drown out our awareness. This is a constant way of life for many if not most which we call ‘normal human life’ but what if this way of living is completely not our natural nature?

  29. For me, “…there is absolutely no way I would choose to go back to the way I lived before.” because there was nothing that I reflected that inspired another to be more. When we take the ‘I’ out of it, there is a bigger purpose for being all that we are… something I am not living all of the time, but from reading this blog again today I can see is important to remember.

  30. And one day, a child’s education will start with this awareness being the absolute priority to experience and understand… And by the stage the world will have turned on its axis.

  31. That moment when you realise that your life, relationships, work etc. is the way it is because of you and no one else is like a lightning bolt moment. It is the moment when you cross a threshold into a well-lit room, where you start to see things as they are, not as you imagine them to be. For me there has been no going back from this awareness, no matter how much I would like to at times! It is in here that you get to feel what’s been missing from life, as the self-responsibility and joy/purpose in life go hand in hand.

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