Death and Passing Over, we need to Talk about it

Someone close to me recently passed over. What has come to my awareness is how we don’t generally talk about death, even our own, or a person’s last days in their current lifetime.

Could it be by talking about death from the start of our life, and not seeing it as an end, but the truth of what it is – a passing over, evolution, and the start of a new cycle to begin – we would have a very different relationship with ourselves, death, life, evolution and purpose, and how we prepare for our own or another’s passing over, and how we care for those dying?

Imagine what it would look like and be like if we knew we had a responsibility in life and in how we passed over. That how we lived our life would be how we would pass over. Would things then be different? That we had legal documents prepared and set up stating where we are to be cared for, the food we eat, the music we listen to or the books we read, who we would like to care for us, down to every last detail, such as the lighting in the room.

What if visitors, carers and staff knew they had a responsibility in terms of supporting you by how they live and bringing this to you, the room or your home, if that is where you choose to pass over. How different would this be?

What would it look like if we knew that the lead up to passing over was an opportunity to let go, to clear as much of our hurts, all our unloving choices and karma, so in our next lifetime we come back more evolved, lighter and clearer in our body than the lifetime before? Closer to our true divine being expressing through our body.

Would passing over then not be a celebration, and actually a very precious, joyful and special time, rather than a time of emotions, misery and woe?

By Gyl Rae, 39, Teacher, Scotland

Related Reading
Joy of Ageing Esoterically
Our relationship with life and death
Death and Dying – The Cycle of Life and Death
The Way of The Livingness and The Glory of Aged Care

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794 thoughts on “Death and Passing Over, we need to Talk about it

  1. When someone dies, there something that ends. It is the end of the physical existence of someone that we know under a name and with whom we had a specific kind of relationship. There is always this image of the person leaving us. How different is everything is we think of death as time to move on and keep going. The image of the person leaving us is not as bright as before was. On the contrary, what becomes clear is that we have to let the person go.

  2. Something that is often overlooked is that the person who is preparing to pass over often does want to talk about it but it is those around them who avoid it as it confronts them/us with their/our own mortality. What would support us to face death and dying is to realise that we are constantly dying at one level or another, eg our cells die, we die to old ways of being that do not support us etc. Dying therefore is not an unfamiliar process for us and the more we accept it as a process rather than an event the easier it is for us to surrender what needs to be surrendered.

    1. I found that with my mother, Elizabeth, as she got closer to her passing she did want to speak about things, and this was coming from a lady who never wanted to talk about death or dying in case we cursed the household.

  3. We had a sudden death in the family recently and in direct contrast to when I was growing up when death was hidden from me for as long as possible, it was spoken about honestly with the children amongst us. They chose to attend the funeral of this beautiful woman who they loved dearly along with many other children of all ages. It was so refreshing to see children taking part in what is such a natural and inevitable parts of our lives. Their joy and simple acceptance of what was taking place was so refreshing and looking around me I observed that it gently impacted on many of the older people in attendance; what a gift for them.

  4. Sitting at a table with friends today, the conversation turned to the number of people they knew that had died suddenly and the quality of the tone in expression dropped immediately into sympathy and sadness. I lightheartedly said that the one thing we are certain of from the day we are born, is the fact that we will pass at some point in our life. Everyone agreed and everything lightened up again.

  5. What an approach…it turns the whole concept on it’s head, and I like it. I would much prefer to be open to this possibility as opposed to the heaviness of how society currently deals with death.

  6. Like that classic last scene in a film where the main character has a flashback of the whole of their life, and thinks ‘oh if only I had cherished what I had’, we seem destined to let life pass by without truly appreciating what takes place. But we don’t have to wait for death to realise the truth, it doesn’t have to be this way. What you show Gyl is living in this appreciation is possible every moment everyday. Then imagine what way you would pass over and live today.

  7. Because most are living from a spirit that is here for themselves and wanting to live a comfortable life, we focus on what we can achieve and experience like holidays and getting away from it all. This constant need to do fun things and be distracted stops us from truly connecting to ourselves and the joy of living from the natural rhythms and cycles of nature and our inevitable completion of this life, to make way for the next one. When we realise that each life has a purpose above and beyond what we want for it, we can start to discuss this natural evolution in a more purposeful and normal way without any emotional attachment to it.

  8. Death is such a natural part of life it doesn’t make sense that we try to avoid this topic of conversation. Perhaps it would open up a greater deal of appreciation and value and we might be inclined to make different choices?

  9. You make me exited to write a Will and a passing over plan, I love what you are proposing and why not have as much care an attention to detail in the way with pass, to the way we plan a birth? It makes so much sense, I look forward to passing with a grace and organised dignity I deserve.

  10. Death is an inevitable part of being alive and yet it does seem to be something that we try to ignore or brush under the carpet like it’s a bad thing to talk about…

  11. It’s true, we do need to talk about death and dying because if we don’t then we end up missing out on the beauty that death and dying has to offer us.

  12. I love what you have proposed about starting to talk about death right from when we are kids. This will stop the stigma and avoiding talking about a time in our lives that can offer us so much healing. This current retardation of our understanding and embracing of death must have a negative impact on our passing over. When we eventually see it as preparation for the quality of our next life, I am sure a big change will occur.

  13. Your blog inspired me to start my own death planning, I just jumped out of here and made some quick notes and then jumped back in. Excellent article, thank you!

  14. I feel we need to talk about death and dying and reincarnation hand in hand. Only yesterday on the radio when having a discussion about the environment people calling in were saying ‘life is too short’. This is completely incorrect though, life is not too short it is instead a cycle that goes on and on and on and on until we all truly learn and master what life is about. This also goes for when we think ‘I have had enough of this life’ or ‘it doesn’t matter because I am not going to be here for much longer’. Again all incorrect if we do not like something within our lives and do not truly heal this it is presented to us again in our next life until we do truly heal it. So we cannot run or hide from anything but we can feel, see, learn, change and heal all in our life that is not harmonious or true. When you take time to truly feel this, it is an absolute blessing we have all been given and ultimately no matter how much we try we cannot escape responsibility. Which is just calling us all to be who we truly are.

  15. Conversations around dying need to happen in an individual basis as well as throughout our communities. In Australia there is a discussion going on around euthanasia. I have to say that its not really a discussion its more like watching a tennis match with the ball bouncing between two opposing sides…the fore and against. Interestingly this in itself is preventing a true community conversations about dying and what it means. However at the same time we are also pushing this as a community potentially because we ourselves don’t want to go there. The word palliative comes from the word pallium meaning to cloak or cover. We can see just how much the current level of conversation is keeping all of what we all really do know about passing over, hidden and ‘under the cloak’. True and open conversations will remove this cloak.

  16. Gyl – more and more this is coming up for me – the fact that we don’t talk about passing over. And it feels like a big fog that isn’t being dealt with because people want to see others get better and live longer rather than let go when it is needed. We make death a big dark scary subject, and I am feeling the tension in that, and that by not talking about it, when it does happen I have set everything up to feel loss and pain.

  17. The older I get and the more I live life, the more I feel that the majority of us here exist under a huge misunderstanding of what’s life’s truly about. When you look at our attitudes to death and dying it’s as if we have everything back to front and upside down. It’s one thing to say this but another to cut through the thick consciousness that pervades our society that says we’d better suck it up because this life is all we’ve got. When we pretend that this is the case we just waste precious time – what a mistake. The irony is the moment we accept we are divine beings, returning perpetually to advance as a race, all designed to come back to truth of Love, it’s only then that we can finally rest easy and truly commit to this life. Thank you Gyl for bringing this sensitive topic up.

    1. This is very true Joseph – when we truly understand that the sole purpose in life is to return to Soul and not go anywhere ‘new’, then we begin to understand how the cycles of life support us in this process.

  18. We do not talk about ‘death’ and ‘dying’ because for the most part we are still trapped in the imprisoning consciousness that says we live in a straight line that has a finite beginning and end. And while we can say that to an extent this is true, this lineal form of thinking falls far short of the true majesty we come from. We live on a giant sphere governed by cycles and just as night follows day only to be followed by night again, so too does ‘death’ follow birth only to be followed by birth again. It is the spherical nature on the Universe in which we live.

  19. I had the privilege of being with someone who was totally committed to passing over surrender to her soul, it was absolute joy for a life lived in the reflection of true love for all, knowing how much greater her light will be to shed on mankind in her return to this plane of life.

  20. Just imagine if, in primary school even we talked about the cycle of life, and how we did die, everyone of us, and it became something that we didn’t shy away , but lived with the full awareness of the cycles, and the responsibility that this brings.

  21. Passing over is a topic that need to be discussed much more, not only allows us to feel the purpose and responsibility of the way we choose to live and interact with others but also helps us to change the consciousness around dying and to understand it is a sacred and truly joyful phase of our lives.

  22. We do need to talk more about passing over and the purpose of us being here at all. We are cyclic beings and life does not in truth end. We leave our physical bodies yes, yet the being within continues on it’s way. Our passing is as equally significant as our birth and all the steps in between…one continuous cycle on our return.

  23. “What would it look like if we knew that the lead up to passing over was an opportunity to let go, to clear as much of our hurts, all our unloving choices and karma, so in our next lifetime we come back more evolved, lighter and clearer in our body than the lifetime before?” A resounding yes to this Gyl. Using the time in our final years, regardless of whether we know the date of our death or not, is an opportunity to clear as much as we can so we return clearer next time around. Makes sense to me.

  24. Talking about death and sharing how we feel about it does make a huge difference and it is so important that we do not see it as something that is just happening at the end of life but that it is in fact part of life.

  25. In answer to your question Gyl . . . “What would it look like if we knew that the lead up to passing over was an opportunity to let go, to clear as much of our hurts, all our unloving choices and karma, so in our next lifetime we come back more evolved, lighter and clearer in our body than the lifetime before?” . . . . Our whole life is in fact a lead up to our passing over as ever moment presents an opportunity to let go of what is loveless , and see every situation as an opportunity to learn and grow. If we live this as a way of being we would naturally be able to support another to pass over simply by being there in full and understanding that it is only the body that dies as ‘the being’ is eternal and the learning will continue into the next cycle.

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