Death and Passing Over, we need to Talk about it

Someone close to me recently passed over. What has come to my awareness is how we don’t generally talk about death, even our own, or a person’s last days in their current lifetime.

Could it be by talking about death from the start of our life, and not seeing it as an end, but the truth of what it is – a passing over, evolution, and the start of a new cycle to begin – we would have a very different relationship with ourselves, death, life, evolution and purpose, and how we prepare for our own or another’s passing over, and how we care for those dying?

Imagine what it would look like and be like if we knew we had a responsibility in life and in how we passed over. That how we lived our life would be how we would pass over. Would things then be different? That we had legal documents prepared and set up stating where we are to be cared for, the food we eat, the music we listen to or the books we read, who we would like to care for us, down to every last detail, such as the lighting in the room.

What if visitors, carers and staff knew they had a responsibility in terms of supporting you by how they live and bringing this to you, the room or your home, if that is where you choose to pass over. How different would this be?

What would it look like if we knew that the lead up to passing over was an opportunity to let go, to clear as much of our hurts, all our unloving choices and karma, so in our next lifetime we come back more evolved, lighter and clearer in our body than the lifetime before? Closer to our true divine being expressing through our body.

Would passing over then not be a celebration, and actually a very precious, joyful and special time, rather than a time of emotions, misery and woe?

By Gyl Rae, 39, Teacher, Scotland

Related Reading
Joy of Ageing Esoterically
Our relationship with life and death
Death and Dying – The Cycle of Life and Death
The Way of The Livingness and The Glory of Aged Care












752 thoughts on “Death and Passing Over, we need to Talk about it

  1. Death is certainly a taboo or at least an uncomfortable topic for most. Recently a group of nurses were discussing how we close all the curtains around the other patients as we wheel the dead person past them. This could be seen as a sign of respect, but knowing how avoided this topic is, I suspect it is more about us not wanting to face the raw facts that death brings up for us. We need to face the reality that we too will one day die and leads us to ask big questions of ourselves like what quality of life and love we have lived and what we will face when we pass over.

  2. Thanks Gyl… it really is the ‘elephant in the room’ that much of humanity just does not want to look at… but it is certainly not going away!

  3. It is very freeing and presents a lot of learning when we approach death with a fresh palette, holding no expectations of how we are going to feel, cope or deal with the pending inevitable.

  4. One thing that is very difficult to communicate in a world that gets so emotional around the topic of death, especially in western civilisation, is the prospect that there is in truth nothing to grieve for other than the physical separation one goes through. That of course needs to be honoured, and is very real, but that being said, if one goes very still, and very deep, it becomes quite obvious that a body devoid of life force, is just a body, and that the being that gave that body life force has not necessarily died, but rather just moved on.

    1. Is this not then revealing of our current state of being in which we give too much weight to our physical existence and the temporal world and not yet enough to the part of us that animates the physicality – the formlessness that breathes life into form? In-truth, when we are in Soul-full expression we are One, for that is what the Soul is – a collective expression of the love that we are, regardless of whether we are incarnated in physical form or not. We are never apart. However, the problem arises when we choose to live under the impulse of the human spirit, that part of us that took leave of the ‘whole that is the Soul’ and carved an expression of its own by way of birthing the ‘individual’ upon this plane of life. Is this not then what truly ails us when we watch a loved one ‘depart’? For it arises in us the pain we have not yet healed, of creating a separation to the love that we are when in-truth we always were and always will be connected and thus not able to be separated unless choosing to live in withdrawal from such Oneness.

  5. It can be such a support to talk about passing over with the elderly. They are not used to talking about this even when it is their cycle of return. Lately I had a beautiful talk with someone and she started to have tears and said that this was the first time somebody talked with her about it and that she felt so supported. She said she felt so much better with the illness going on as everything is ok as it is.

  6. I find it fascinating how we aren’t really brought up to understand death and the cycle of life, its not that it was never talked about just only when someone in the family or someone you knew died. It was explained to me that was it: we die and you are never to be seen again. Which never really felt true. So to be able to talk about it and know that actually there is reincarnation and it makes complete sense because I have known this and felt this before, is that not enough for this to be true? It is for me. Serge Benhayon presents reincarnation and it makes so much sense, such a confirmation of what I have known for so long: lives, in fact.

  7. Regardless of the fact that we all need to ‘die’ at some stage, what if – life had no expiry date but rather was an endless series of movements (cycles) that allows us to forever deepen back into the love that we are and that our passing over (what we call ‘death’) was an important part of this process that enables us to let go of that which we have lived that no longer serves the expression of our love?

  8. A gorgeous glimpse into what is possible… and into a future that honours death and the dying in a way that would deeply support us all, not just those passing, in the way we then choose to live in respect of our purpose through the cycles of life.

  9. I agree that we need to have conversations around death and dying. However whilst we all know that some day our physical body dies, we live every moment in everyday until that moment occurs, our last breath. Every moment of our life and our choices matter when it comes to the ‘end of life’. We know this, but at the same time we don’t want to know, because this means that we are responsible for all of our choices and what the outcomes of those choices are. So we also need to have conversations about how we are living for this influences everything about how we pass over.

  10. It is amazing how many of us either don’t want to ever talk about death or keep putting it off until another day. I had a woman ask me recently about when was the right time to talk to her mother about what she wants to happen when she dies. I asked her how old her mother was and she replied 92, so I naturally suggested that today would be a great day to do it. Her main worry was that her mother might think that they wanted her to hurry up and die! After sharing my experiences of the death of my parents with her and answering many more questions she began to see that, yes, today was a good day to start this essential conversation.

  11. When we start to understand that life and death is about cycles, and all we are doing is passing from one human body to another, we can start to see life in a different light. This is when we can start to appreciate what karma is all about and how this life is an opportunity to life a loving life free of hurts so to come back in another life more in our true essence.

  12. Thanks Gyl… from this blog and others I have been inspired to start looking at things like cardboard coffins, how to have the minimum fuss and cost cremation .. its an eye opener… luckily NSW has the least regulations on coffins… it’s a great place to get burnt ☺

  13. It would be definately, showing us that life is cyclical and actually even though we physically die, our spirit and Soul continue on the next cycle with a new body. Very interesting to approach death and passing over as you shared.. A very joyfull exploration I would in truth say. This totally turns the rock upside down.

  14. “Would passing over then not be a celebration, and actually a very precious, joyful and special time, rather than a time of emotions, misery and woe?”
    The emotions, misery and woe sound and feel depressing, whilst the precious, joyful and special time sound and feel expanding. Thank you Gyl.

  15. Death should not be a taboo topic, as it is so prominent in our lives. We all know what it truly is about, to move on and go along in a new cycle. Being open about passing over we all could get more prepared for the true healing that can occur in preperation of our death.

  16. By reading your blog again Gyl I start to feel the joy of making a document in which I describe how I will arrange all when passing over. I am sure it will be simple and beautiful.

  17. Death is definitely a subject that we don’t talk about openly enough, we have a responsibility to ourselves to prepare for death, and also not to leave our death as a burden for others but a set of instructions that can easily be followed and no one is then left wondering if they are making the right choices on another’s behalf.

  18. How different it would be if we passed over in the absolutely gorgeous divine way you have described Gyl. As you say the responsibility is ours to live a life that supports this true and blessed way of passing over.

  19. “Would passing over then not be a celebration, and actually a very precious, joyful and special time, rather than a time of emotions, misery and woe?” Yes indeed, I wish I had known this many years ago when my mother died, only just recently have I been letting go of more of the hurts around that time and appreciating her and me, for what we had together and the experiences and the start in life I was blessed to have.

  20. Great subject to talk about, how we’d like to be cared for when we might be incapacitated and unable to express our preferences is hugely important yet often ignored, when we make our preferences known we know we will be looked after in a manner that is honouring of ourselves.

  21. We tend to avoid those things in life that we don’t fully understand, which only serves to keep ourselves in ignorance which creates a whole host of additional problems for ourselves and others.

  22. As soon as you mention the word dying or death there are so many pictures and ideas on how this should look like. This blog is a great example of bringing the realness that is available to all when we make our life about living with responsibility and passing in the same way.

  23. It is definitely time to bring truth to the topic of death and to share this in our everyday conversations, so that we may all understand about the process of our departure from this life and more importantly know that our way of living now, will determine the quality of how we die.

  24. The only way to avoid the great cycle of life we live within is to put our head down, preferably with our eyes shut, and insist in walking in a straight line. Problem is – if we walk a straight line upon a sphere (of which our Earth most certainly is), we just end up where we started and thus we haven’t avoided anything, only added more steps to our path back home.

  25. The other day I spoke with a friend who mentioned her dear friend died really suddenly a few months ago, what she noticed was we do not talk about death and dying enough and how people react, get angry and are unable to know or see the far bigger picture of this. In that life if a cycle and how we live affects our health and what we do not deal with in this life we then come back and have to look at again in another life. There is so much for humanity to discuss, learn and heal with regards to death and dying.

  26. If we celebrate every day of our life, then at pass-over we would all move to the next point of evolution and this could be nothing more than confirming of how we have been living. Then no one would grieve as that is only felt because we did not have completion with the person who has passed over. In truth we all come from the one Soul so we should never feel ill-completed because as a Soul we are always connected and complete. It is our spirit playing emotional turmoil with our thoughts that causes our emotional miseries and woe’s.

  27. By expressing openly about death and dying we can break through the barriers and misunderstandings that we have about passing over and open up to the possibility of embracing and nurturing the quality of our soul we will return to once again.

  28. So very true, being able to express about death and passing over is not done enough in our western society, ,we shun it, make it a taboo subject, but I was super lucky that I was talked to about this when I was growing up, so had a great openness to what really unfolds.

  29. To me the beginning of true wisdom is when we accept that one day we are going to do and therefore allow ourselves to feel what is important and what isn’t. We can then bring a depth and a richness to everything that we are doing. Death in that way is a great reminder that we are here for a reason.

  30. It is very true that we need to talk about death and dying more, that we are indeed eternal and keep coming back, some do not like to hear this as it arises in them a lack of responsibility that we as a human race are severely lacking at this current time.

  31. Thanks Gyl, I have noticed that I am talking much more honestly and openly about my own passing over, definitely without emotion or need, feels very lovely.

  32. I agree, definitely we need to talk about this. Yes – there’s far more to us than meets the eyes; yes – re-incarnation is true; yes – we are in cycles and death is part of it and not the end – but my humanness still aches with a loss – the loss of a point of contact in this realm of physicality, separation. A bit more for me before I really know myself as a part of the Oneness therefore truly live with the knowing that no one ever dies.

  33. We as a family have started having these necessary conversations about what happens when we get ill and what are our wishes. Also what happens to our belongings, who is going to do what etc. There is so much to look at and put into place that it feels irresponsible to leave it until the last minute.

  34. We do need to talk about this subject, for it is an important one… too important to leave and not deal with. Far from being morose, it can be a beautifully graceful time that can bring families and friends together in celebration of a life lived.

  35. Death is like illness and dis-ease we don’t talk about it until in someway it affects our life. Yet I would say to truly understand both is fundamental to all of us because it shows just how we need to be responsible for all aspects of our life and also how our each and every choice throughout the day, week, month, year etc affect and ultimately can lead to both. After all as you say death is just a cycle and part of a much larger picture..’the lead up to passing over was an opportunity to let go, to clear as much of our hurts, all our unloving choices and karma, so in our next lifetime we come back more evolved, lighter and clearer in our body than the lifetime before? Closer to our true divine being expressing through our body.’ It is definitely worth watching this video an interview wth Judith McIntyre a truly inspiring interview with a women who was dying with terminal cancer showing humanity that we can actually be joyful about dying!

  36. I agree Gyl, too many of us today are not preparing for the inevitable fact that both we ourselves and our loved ones will all eventually pass on – I love your suggestion of drawing up documents of how you want to be cared for right to the end as it would undoubtedly be very empowering for all involved when honored.

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