I remember being a very aware and joyful child, at two years of age or younger. It’s clear that something happened to me between then and adulthood. How is it that adult life becomes so serious, so burdened, that we constantly look for ways to numb and escape? TV, chocolate, alcohol, work, sex… somehow never recapturing that joyful flow, wisdom, presence and sensitivity of childhood. I like to observe kids, as many adults do. Something in them answers questions in us, even if we don’t know we’re asking. I wonder whether all of the child I was is really lost, or still in there somewhere? I do have a very playful, silly ‘streak’ and don’t mind looking ‘childish’ in public if I’m having harmless fun, like doing slippery-shoe slides along the shopping mall floor, or hanging out of a nice tree.
But I notice with some sadness that what’s classed as ‘fun’ by many adults is harmful of themselves and others. It seems the definition of a good weekend can be: how destroyed by alcohol your brain and body is by Monday morning, or how many videos you watched, or whether you’re in pain from an overstuffed stomach at a smorgasbord, or whether you ‘scored’ in a night club, or how ache-y you are from too much hard work in the gym, house and garden…. To me, none of these feel like the flowing joys of childhood. Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?
I’ve been doing some observational experiments to look at these questions: How do children do things, and how much like a kid am I really?
I’ve been observing children and puppies (just 4-legged kids!) in the streets, shopping centres and friends’ homes… not in a passive, purposeless way, but with more focus and conscious attention. What can I learn from children (and dog children) that I seem to have forgotten?
Without writing an in-depth scientific article, here are just some of my science diaries of what this personal experiment is revealing to me.
1. Of Wagging Puppies
I drop off a parcel at a stranger’s front door. On the other side of the screen I suddenly notice a black puppy, almost invisible in the dark interior, and not making a sound. The puppy is wagging his whole body, eyes looking into mine.
It’s the same with puppies being led along the beaches and roads – big, waggy hellos with no fear, no questions, just pure openness, love, acceptance and joy. It is connection with no judgment. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like or what mood you’re in… and it brings an instant glow to the heart of practically everyone around.
That feels like me, the way I am on the inside: I’d rather smile and ‘wag’ at everyone I meet! Then I find I can become inhibited by a person’s facial expression and body language, and the judgments that get in the way of that total loving connection. “Stuff.” Not really me. It seems that somewhere along the way from childhood to adult, I became loaded with stuff that is not natural to me, and transformed into an ‘adult’ that bears not enough resemblance to the loving, accepting, little child I was!
2. The Neighbours Drop In
Neighbourhood children, a brother and sister about 5 and 7 years old, appear on my verandah on the day I move into a new house. They chat with me through the screen door as I unpack – they feel able to be safe with a total stranger, and talk about their joys, fears, loves, and games; they express all of themselves, as they are, with no holding back. I feel I want to be like that. What stops me?
3. Any Excuse, Including Hats
I walk into the local laundromat to pick up my laundry. It’s cold and rainy and I am rugged up. I notice the only other person in the room, a young girl about 11 years old, sitting on a seat waiting for the family laundry. Her unusual, fluffy, knitted beanie is identical to mine, except a slightly lighter colour. I feel no hesitation in smiling and saying playfully: “Hey, your beanie and mine are related!” and she smiles back with equally no hesitation and tells me about her beanie.
There was no attachment or expectation or awkwardness, just a pure, simple, loving, fun exchange between two equal human beings, and then we both went on with our business. If she had been an adult, there is a strong chance that there would have been some trepidation, some judgment, like: “What does she want from me? Why is she approaching me?” and a sense of boundaries being transgressed. Though not always. And I notice that the guarded kind of response from strangers, in general, is decreasing these days… something is happening… I’m changing, other people are changing, opening up somehow. Have you noticed this?
4. Welcome, When You’re Ready
A friend’s 8 year-old daughter, upon seeing me for the first time in half a year, tilts her head so that one eye is peeping out from under her hair, and rocks her shoulders from side to side. I’ve noticed children do this a lot but never thought about it. Now, because I’m in ‘scientist mode’, I suddenly see that this is a sensitive, playful way to get someone’s attention without being imposing or threatening, or ‘in your face’. It is basically saying: “I am really seeing you, but showing you that I am respectfully letting you see that I am inviting you to connect with me when you are ready.” Sensitivity to where others are at, and bringing them out of themselves to connect… gorgeous! How much we adult dudes can learn from this kind of wise, gentle approach to each other!
5. Oops, Not Mum, But It Didn’t Matter A Moment Ago
A busy shopping mall. A child is lost (but doesn’t know it yet) and I feel a small hand slipping into mine. I look down to see the child assuming (without looking up) that I’m his mum. I watch, staying quiet and steady. We walk along, then the child apparently feels my eyes on him and looks up, getting a shock to see that I’m not his mum.
I can see that children naturally trust and feel at home in crowds of strange people and in physical contact with them, but they have been taught not to. He was quite happy until he looked up and realised his ‘mistake’. Don’t we feel, like the child, that we could take anyone’s hand and feel safe in the connection with another human being? And if not, why not? Has that trust been pressured out of us?
6. Mirroring Babies
A young child sits in a high chair in a restaurant with her food in front of her. But instead of eating, she is manipulating her mother emotionally – putting on a cry face and wailing every time her mother turns away from her to the shop assistant. I could feel that she was faking, and that surprised me in one so young. So I sat and silently observed her just as she is, not reacting, not judging, not ‘trying to help’. She became aware of me catching her in her strategy. She could see that I could see what she was doing and there was a part of her that did not like to be exposed. She spun away from my eyes and resumed her behaviour. But she was drawn back several times to the silent reflection I was offering, and became still and silent herself in those moments even though she chose to return to her performance.
How young to be already in that game! How do we as adults use victim / tragedy / pain / emotion to make others relate to us in the way we think we want? But we do know it’s false and we feel ‘sprung’ when someone sees through it… So why do we keep doing it?
7. Mirroring Part 2
I had a similar experience when ‘mirroring’ every expression (facial, words, cries, tantrum body language) of a 4 year-old boy at a party, who was similarly using emotion and distressing behaviour to force attention from his mother. When he noticed me and saw what I was doing, he became intrigued at the reflection of himself. But he would alternate between watching my reflection of him and avoiding it – part of him did not want the truth, but wanted to keep running his ‘program’. Eventually he was fascinated, seemingly against his own will – a pull to self-reflection which we all have – then came the ‘aha’ moment when he consciously saw how untrue and manipulative his behaviour was. I could see and feel his shock of recognition, and his realisation that he did not like being that way. He abruptly stopped and came back to himself. Then he walked over to his mother and calmly and respectfully asked her for what he wanted. She turned gracefully with the stress gone from her, heard him, connected with him, gave him what he wanted and they were together in harmony thereafter…
I could imagine that child’s life might never be the same after that experience of awareness and choice. The neurobiologists state that even a few seconds of experience can ‘hard-wire’ a child’s brain for life. Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?!
8. Flow And Synchrony
I’ve been watching children playing in groups: in their movements, sounds and all expressions, kids flow like flocks of birds, swirling water, the wind in trees… There is a free rhythm that is in stark contrast to the way an adult’s day usually goes with all its constricted structures and time pressures.
Yet watching the kids, I can feel my inner self flowing along with them and it makes more sense. I want to live like that. I don’t mean irresponsible and not carrying out my duties as an adult, but doing ‘adult things’ without the sense of burden, seriousness and mechanical disconnection. Doing things within the flow and connection of the whole. Why not? Suddenly there is fear; that I will be seen as reckless and irresponsible. That I will ‘lose the plot’ and my life become disordered and out of control. That other adults, grudging along with their burdens, will become jealous and start to single me out. That there will be consequences… Oh boy!
I remember learning in the brain anatomy lab that this kind of negative apprehension-fear of consequences thing comes from prior punishments affecting a region of our brain called the orbital cortex, which is heavily involved in our emotional reactions. So once again, it was programming that began who knows how early in childhood, and was constantly topped up by parents, school, society… Gosh – we have a lot of ‘undoing’ to do!
9. Doing vs Being
A 10 year-old child, who is behaving cruelly to others and having difficulties in his relationships, is sitting on the floor in front of me. He has not greeted me, nor met my eyes. But he knows I love him, that I live my love to the best of my ability. I can feel he is using what he is doing – spreading books over the floor on a particular subject and then studying them intently – in hope that ‘what he is doing‘ will draw my attention to him because he is afraid of ‘what he is when he is being‘ himself. He doesn’t yet have the awareness to be his real amazing self and has instead identified with his scary, lashing-out, angry self. His current experience is being accepted and validated by what he does, instead of by who he is – at 10 he already has this burden of adulthood.
However, there’s another side to this situation: by choosing to not dump his anger on me, he is expressing his love for me in his own way. I understand that he finds it easier and safer to be withdrawn so that he doesn’t lash out; that he does not yet have the confidence to connect to the real him. But the mere fact that he restrains his usual anger and chooses his own way to express love, means that he does recognise love, and wants to let me know it. One day it will blossom in him and shine out for all to see, of that I am sure!
10. Silliness And Dignity
I was at a big birthday party for a 5 year-old child. Everyone was outside on an acre of mowed grass with a hired clown. The clown was a young guy and he really knew how to be a kid, with kids’ humour. He had the children riveted, involved, leaping around with him. Most of the humour was not at the level of ‘sophistication’ of adult humour. But watching the adults (lined up side-by-side like an audience at a concert) I could see that they all related to it from their ‘inner child’ and would have joined in, silly as can be, if it were ‘permissible’. But it’s not acceptable to enjoin childish humour directly in public (just too embarrassing, too undignified) so the adults did the usual, indirect, acceptable performance of enjoying the children’s responses!
Kids find humour in the silliest, simplest things, run with it unashamedly, share it with others who also resonate with it, until everyone is in peals of laughter. Then, unattached, they suddenly let go and move on when the feeling has run its course. Like those flocks of birds, they are in synchrony with something invisible flowing through every moment…
I ‘get’ the silliness, but have spent much of my life as an extreme introvert. Now it’s silly scientist come-out time. Now I ‘risk all’ and relate to people, even strangers, in the streets and shops and serious places and on the phone. I love to play silly with people… anyone. A rare few meet me with walls of suspicion and disdain, but most melt immediately and come on board, letting their own inner child out to have some fun!
Conclusion:
This is a very haphazard, poorly controlled experiment by ‘scientific standards’, but wow – the useful observations it has provided!
I feel there is a science to observing and tracing the inner and outer incongruities, assisted by watching children (and animals), and relating what is seen to our adult selves. Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.
By Dianne Trussell, BSc Hons, Science & Health Writer & Educator
Related Reading:
The Natural Love Of A Child
Hanging Out to Simply Be Me
God. It’s a Science
Related Tags: Serge Benhayon Teachings
Words on Serge Benhayon 
Observation is the way to deepen our understanding.
Recently I felt really grumpy and withdrawn and this really stood out like a sore thumb to me. Years ago that was my baseline response when being with people, withdrawn and closed off. It felt so awful because these days I love being with people, feeling open and I love being with other people because I enjoy being with me.
If you want to enjoy an example of playful obedience, watch a dog and his owner in the park, the untiring way it returns time after time to fetch a ball tossed in the water, brings it back to its owner with sheer obedience and still want more. No questions asked, same level of joy and exuberance follows each throw of the ball. Beautiful.
I love observing children. Their natural way of being, loving ways, playfulness and simplicity, inspires many of what could have been and is still possible, once we get off the roller coaster ride of life.
I agree with you Kehinde2012, I love watching and being around children as they remind us of that quality of innocence and playfulness. I was attending a family lunch and the two little sisters were having such fun just playing at tag, it kept them amused for quite a while and they were really enjoying just being connected with their bodies and playing for no other reason that it was natural and fun to do so.
Yesterday, a woman with pushchair and baby in it. walked towards me. As we approached each other, the baby turned his head, looked at me and our eyes met. The connection was instant and took me to the depth of my being. I smiled with sheer joy. He asked for and did nothing, simply emanated from within his whole divine being. A fleeting moment, and marker of how we can relate one with another day by day. We learn so much from children.
“Doing things within the flow and connection of the whole.” This understanding came to me the other day: when we let go of routines and structures we’ve attached to and allow space to be, a different quality drops in and we are splendidly surprised to discover another way to be.
It’s very beautiful to feel how fun for children is so very simple. In fact, calling it ‘simple’ is only in comparison to how the world in general operates, and trying to explain it seems like an invitation for complication already, that is simply what is. It only takes them to be open and respond, and then there’s joy, and that is for adults too.
I love how you describe the synchronicity of the flock of birds and compare it to the freedom and flow of children, I just smiled and knew exactly what you were describing,
I believe we bring a lot of restrictions and constraints in with us from previous lives. And these need to be cleared before we can truly be loving towards ourselves and then all others. Puppies and babies act as a reminder to how we can all live in the open and joyful way as we let go of our self imposed strait-jacket.
Thank you Diane for sharing your wonderful observations with all the kids and puppies. For me kids are often a very good reminder when I lost my simplicity or joy or playfulness – for me god send us children to remind us were we come from.
Children are some of our best teachers and reflectors of how to naturally handle life.
When we stop to allow ourselves to feel and see all that is unfolding around us, like we did as children, then we get an opportunity to connect to the real deal of life instead of seeking to escape it constantly as we often can do as adults.
I love this blog Dianne. So full of astute observation and wisdom in the sharing. There is much we can re-learn from children and be inspired to re-connect to our forgotten but natural ways.
I agree with you Dianne there is something about small children and dogs that warm our hearts they are innocent and have a natural way. Children can say what’s on their mind and sometimes it’s not what adults want to hear so that’s when they get shut down and crushed by the adult. Also I have noticed that if a child is open and free adults find this difficult to handle as it exposes them in their lack. So again the adult will do something to reduce the child so they are not left in the rawness of their lack. Rather than embracing the potential pull up.
Yes it is a pull to playfulness and a pull to simplicity that can be confronting if you are not wanting to remember that all of that is still within you.
Dianne, I love your observations of dogs and children, it is really lovely when we get loved without the judgement – just an openness and joy. I too observed this outside my local supermarket, a puppy with his owner, the puppy greeted with absolute love and fullness every person that came out of the supermarket – no discrimination, no judgement – very beautiful to see.
I too have noticed the natural flow that children play with. The joy and laughter is beautiful and inspiring to see and feel.
Dianne, I love what you are sharing in this article, there is so much that stands out. I too love to observe children and dogs, something I really notice is the unconditional love and joy. There is much to learn from children and dogs. Thank you for sharing your observations.
The openness and delight that is shared by young children and puppies is undeniable. I recall my son getting excited to see me even after I had been in the toilet for 5 minutes and came out again – he would be over the moon to see me again…this is infectious and life changing when we embrace this way of being in life again.
I can feel how much fun you had doing this experiment, and I really get a sense that when we stop and observe, we get to appreciate the more of what is being offered to us, and there’s so much of it, at all times.
We can never underestimate the power of observation because it can deliver great truths to us.
Relief is just getting rid of an excess of a specific kind of energy just to replenish the body with another equally harming energy of a different kind. That is why we never get a new beginning through relief.
I have noticed that too, the explosions of rage, the temper tantrums, even the moments of great happiness don’t offer a settlement, just a moment of relief.
Being ‘childish” and “childlike” are two very different things and ought to not be confused. When we are ‘childlike’ we are in the moment and responding to what is before us whereas being ‘childish’ requires us to not be responsible for our actions..
A Very wise man said to me once that I am at my best when I’m being silly… It certainly is wonderful to be able to access that part of us.
This makes sense Dianne. Intentional observation breaks down the arrogance that keeps us in separation from the joy of who we are.
“Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being”.
Dianne – you bring wisdom and joy to your scientific experiments – a reminder for us all to appreciate the value is ‘studying’ children at play and bring this quality out from the hidden depths of our hurts from the conditioning of social systems, ideals and beliefs.
I love being silly but can get caught up in the ‘seriousness of life’ (not that it really exist) so a pertinent reminder to bring more silliness into my adult life.
As adults we can be very restricted in terms of expressing that lightness, sensitivity and playfulness that we feel. But I ask myself how it feels to be so restricted and often the inner pain is worse than the supposed worst case scenarios my mind pictures for expressing how I feel in public. I have no issue crying in front of strangers if I am hurt or being silly with a child on the bus. The more we honour what we feel to express the more normal for others it becomes to do the same.
Silliness and Dignity, we think the activities of these words are incompatible but in truth they are not. We have made silliness childish as something not so intelligent and dignity stiff and unshakable, only reserved for the well behaving adult. Actually we can be silly in dignity and with dignity silly if we reconnect to that child that still lives within and is waiting to be lived again but now in an adult body. How would that look like if we all would choose to live like that?
Dianne I loved reading your blog, a great reminder for us to live openly with no reservations to express love, just as we did as children no judgment and no expectation.
“What stops me?” Observing those around us and observing ourselves as we interact with others offers a great way to observe what stops us being our natural self.
There is almost something ‘wrong’ with being like a child in society. ‘Don’t be so childish,’ ‘stop being a baby’ and ‘grow up’ come to mind. But I feel disarmed and invited to be myself (like a child) whenever I see the childlike qualities in adults- and they are not so easy to hide, in fact they are stand out qualities. It is always, without fail, heart warming and inspiring to see the little girl in women and the little boy in men – it is in effect seeing someone’s essence and that’s why we can say that the child in us has never changed as the fact remains that our essence has changed.
That child in us is always there, willing to be lived again but now in an adult body if we dare to allow that to happen.
On the premise that if ‘neurobiologists state that even a few seconds of experience can ‘hard-wire’ a child’s brain for life’ we all started to open up to living in the wonderment and transparency of daily life just like children do we could begin to break down all the imposing beliefs and hurts we have accumulated over our lives regardless of our age.
A very wise man once said to me that I am most definitely at my best when I’m silly… Great words 🙂
I love this blog, it brings a huge smile to my face and a sense that in settlement there is so much beauty to be had and when we be ourselves and connect with another.
I can watch dogs playing without ever getting bored. When it is true play it has a lightness and simplicity to it that is heartwarming.
..what’s classed as ‘fun’ by many adults is harmful of themselves and others.” This is so true Diane, adult ‘fun’ often involves abusing our bodies in one way or another or is at the expense of others. And when we do have innocent fun we are told we are being childish. I do not take the latter as an criticism anymore rather a compliment of returning to what is a natural expression.
We can learn so much about ourselves by observing children, I like you Dianne was amazed how quickly children learn to manipulate to get what they want and how easily we can, if not fully observant fall for it, but this is no different to how we then do the same as adults.
“How do children do things, and how much like a kid am I really?” Observing the interactions of those around us can be as revealing as observing the contents of a petri dish.
“Don’t we feel, like the child, that we could take anyone’s hand and feel safe in the connection with another human being?” – This openness and willingness to connect without judgement really does define that child-like quality that we are looking to return to, and also just how much we adults have attempted to nullify that same openness by imposing our own forms of protection and hurts on our children, thus shutting it down and causing doubt and suspicion to creep in.
A tour do force of the power of observation… not just in being able to feel what is truly going on, but that others can feel the reflection and it starts to have an impact on their choices. It is ‘scientific proof’ (haha) that its not about what we do that makes a difference, but the quality of our being.
Reconnecting to the child within and reparenting ourselves allows for a deepening of love which can filter through to all our relationships.
Yes allowing yourself to feel that child-like nature that is within all of us is incredibly liberating, and such a beautiful thing to do and to feel… It brings with it that innate sense of innocence which is simply beautiful.
Its funny how we use the term ‘stop acting childish’ in a bad way and yet we don’t ever say ‘stop acting adultish’ because we perhaps don’t want to see all the things we do as an adult that actually is not the true us. If I look at my toddler – I see how she opens up to everyone – talking to them, saying hello, interested in the world – and yet I look at adults who are shut down and protected and its sad that we accept this as OK.
A recent TV documentary featured an experiment which invited 4 and 5 year old children to befriend elders in a residential care home. It was beautiful to see how the children’s openness, broke down resident’s defenses and brought light back into their eyes. They walked more, some danced, sang and played silly games. More so, they began to communicate and open up themselves in ways they hadn’t done for years. Children are natural healers.
I was in a lift the other day and a baby about six months old cocooned in his mother’s harness looked up at me and smiled from the depths of his being and I received a healing. I asked myself what is being reflected here? And was given a glimpse of what it is to simply be, completely at one with self and universe and the potential we have to heal others when we are this way.
Lately I am finding that I am still like a child when I allow myself to be. I have had a couple of accidents, where I responded like the adult, very sensibly and keeping it all together to take care of the other people and practical things. But when I let myself, I could feel the shock in my body and felt quite vulnerable. This actually felt quite beautiful. The pulling ourselves together denies the feelings and stops us from simply responding honestly as we would have as a child.
I recently had a 7 year old in the back of my car and asked them to do up their seatbelt. They were taking a while and then I heard this tremendous laugh when they realised they had been putting their seat belt in the wrong section – ‘for the WHOLE time!’. They thought it was hilarious. I learnt so much from that moment and continue to be inspired to laugh when I am doing some thing wrong for the WHOLE time!
I like the connection to the puppy and how dogs do not hold back but allow their joy to be expressed when they see someone. I notice that I often hold this back and try to gauge how the other person will be with me before I determine how I will be with them. However, when someone is like the puppy, totally not holding back their joy in seeing you, it is hard not to melt.
” This is a very haphazard, poorly controlled experiment by ‘scientific standards’, but wow – the useful observations it has provided! ”
For me this is the best ” controlled ” experiment I have ever read , for its got the best and most truthfull ” control ” in that it comes from the heart, thank you.
It is very interesting how we keep re-creating the life that is serious and burdened and needs constant relief, and all we have been doing is morphing ourselves in order to fit into the formula of life that is serious and burdened, and giving up the simple joy and carefreeness we start our life with. Like, what did we expect?
Each one of your points could be discussed in detail I have to say! The Orbital cortex, where the fear of consequences comes from can really paralyse us. Those negative experiences which take away love – which is a basic human need, becomes seen as a potentially life threatening situation in the brain. If only we knew the power we had and were more responsible in our expression – perhaps this is the blog to inspire us all!
I too am like a dog wagging its tail with every new person I meet, or old person I have met before actually! I often note this in myself and see that it can be liked and something that pushes buttons. What you have helped me appreciate is it is a positive. It makes me smile when I am met with that and I now see others feel the same. I just have to read what level of this expression is appropriate! Not turning my light down, or wagging my tail less but letting it shine without being in someones face about it.
Love that, and love your enthusiasm for life Lucy – we should never let the response from others mean that we reduce ourselves… better to express our natural delight than to be tricked into playing someone else’s game.
A wonderful ‘experiment” Dianne! What joy and love we would all release to the World in that moment of free expression as a child if we trusted ourselves to be so.
Great observations, it is opening my mind to the possibility of what is there to observe every day. How children naturally do this, feel their joy, but see in full what is there around them.
In a healing session this year I really felt the natural joy and playfulness I had as a child and was shocked at how much it had been suppressed as I grew up into an adult. So now I am working on giving myself permission again to have that joy and light heartedness as an adult even though when I look around me it is not the norm to be like this as an adult. Maybe this why we seek the other self destructive complex behaviours as adults. Perhaps because deep down we miss our natural joy and lightness of being?
I love observing children. In my volunteer work in a local primary school each child has a different way of expressing – some are ‘approved of’ by the teacher, some not. But every single one responds to being met with love and attention. I feel privileged to have them on a one to one basis – and every one of them wants that!
I was working with some teachers recently, and we know that teachers lives are usually pretty intense… I was inviting the teachers to come up with me to play and sing in front of the children… It was very interesting some to even considered the prospect of being silly and having fun in front of the kids. Being a silly is one of the most wonderful things that we can do as an adult.
Kids say it how it is and express from their body. They do not indulge like us adults but once expressed they’re off to what is next even if it is sleep time! I agree children are in sync with the universe and I am beginning to realise more than ever my responsibility as a parent through the connection to myself to support my children and others as they get older to feel this connection to themselves and to everything regardless the choices they choose to make.
Yes we lose something so precious and then spend our lives putting up with the substitutes which never deliver. Great to stop and reflect on what quality of life we truly want for ourselves…
There is no reason why we have to do things with burden or seriousness and yet we do … but we can be light, observing children they are very focused on what they do until they’re not and they just let go, there is a flow to it and we too can live this as adults. Great observations here to remind us that we do not have to be those rigid, burdened adults many of us can become, we can be light and open and live with the joy we are.
I love what you offer here for public on this blog. Myself, I am very playful, innocent in my reactions towards funny situations and people. It is really smoothing to read, that this is OK . That it does not mean being immature but in your natural essence and because of that confirmation I will even volume my expression up !
What this great blog presents us with is the playfulness is at the heart of a true scientist who is ready to observe life and to spot movement and that thanks to this, there is a lot we can learn/confirm about what is true about us.
There is so much inspiration in watching children’s movements… It reflects me the transparency in which one day I lived and the space I can come back to, living and enjoying the simplicity of life
Adults always think it is the cuteness of a child or puppy from the outer appearance that they love. It is much more the energy of innocence and openness, that they enjoy and miss in their own life.
Life can easlily become serious and mundane when we live from our heads, it is through our connection to our bodies and quality of movments that we can once again embrace the joy natural within ourslevs.
Dianne it’s a joy to read this again, thank you. This is a gorgeous and very true line about children, that there is a “joyful flow, wisdom, presence and sensitivity of childhood”. I was delighted to feel that I too have returned to this, not always but it’s largely there, and getting more so.
Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood? I love this question because it is so true. For many long years my life was filled with complication and struggle and I was always searching outside of myself to better my life. Only since attending Universal Medicine courses and presentations I have let go of ( healed and cleared) so much old stuff in the way of old habits and behaviours that kept me stuck and in the struggle….that today I can say my life is so much simpler and filled with purpose and meaning. And when complication tries to sneak back in, my go to is: Keep Things Simple!
Dianne your comment of ‘what’s classed as ‘fun’ by many adults is harmful of themselves and others’ really caught my attention for your wise words cannot be denied. The question is why would we and do we harm ourselves or others under the guise of fun?
We all seem to be operating with a ‘joy deficit’, as if the well ran dry once we hit a certain age. But it feels like joy is an essential part of our well being, so it’s recovery is essential – for our recovery.
So true – we often think having fun would have consequences, don’t we? I wonder how that is so. What do we qualify ‘fun’? Are we the adults really having fun when we think we are having ‘fun’?
We do not take the time each day to connect to that wonderment we had as children, it is an innocence and love that knows no bounds. We could all learn a lot from reconnecting to those child like qualities that can support us very much in our day to day adult lives.
Just the other day I was taking a plastic bag off the roll at the supermarket, along with a couple of other women. One was having a little time of it getting it to open and a comment was made between the three of us. So I offered my tip of how to separate the edges and assist with hers. She then asked me another very harmless question, which I answered and she finished with apologising for asking. It was really a stop moment to ponder why having a little chat at the ‘market’ can be considered anything but a moment to share a super simple connection with another.
It is quite sad, that people are so far away from being connected and open with other people, that even a super harmless situation led them to apologise. Even more important to live this in a normality, that they experience, that nothing is wrong with that. And that it is the greatest joy to meet in this way with a total stranger. You got nothing to lose, but an irritated reaction, that does not need to irritate you. Sticking out your head can be some irritation, without that though, nothing would change.
As adults we like to invite complication into our lives- it almost becomes like an addiction with no end, if we could only take a moment to reflect and reconnect to that innocence we once knew when young then we would be able to understand that life is simple and there is magic all around us to remind us of the wonder that lives within us all.
Yes Francisco and there are reflections of that magic everywhere aren’t there? The complication we are addicted to is like putting glasses on that filter magic out but I can now see we take that pattern of behaviour, what we think is the easier way out by embracing complication because we don’t feel we have the skills to deal with what is to come.
It’s true Francisco… It really is such a lovely thing to return to that simplicity, to understand that we can actually live life in a simple way, even whilst doing extremely complex things… We can keep the essence simple.
Beautiful Francisco, it’s like giving ourselves permission to let go of the control and all we have let get in the way and simply be silly again. A wise man once said the path of return to soul needs lots of silliness.
There is a very big difference between being child-like and being childish. Being child-like is to carry the innocence and lightness of the child with us throughout our life and being childish is to avoid responsibility for our life.
“How is it that adult life becomes so serious, so burdened, that we constantly look for ways to numb and escape?” This statement Dianne is a sad inditement on our modern society which children are slowly drawn and indoctrinated into. I am inspired by your messages to reconnect to the child within and children in general.
I love how dogs teach us about love
Loved your observations Dianne, as adults we can still be childlike, have fun and truly enjoy ourselves and we can still laugh at the silliest of things, staying lighthearted is much more simpler than living as serious adults where we forget we are equally able to have fun.
I often wonder what our child would think if they saw the way we were living in our adult years. Would they recognise the person we have become or wonder who this alien is who is using their name? I especially become aware of this when I am caring for someone in hospital, who is seriously ill through various forms of self-abuse. I can’t help feeling and reflecting on how they were once a gorgeous and precious child and those qualities are still there inside them, despite all the harm we inflict on ourselves.
What I have noticed for some time now is strangers of all ages smiling or waving at me, not just one of two but many and this I am enjoying and finding fascinating at the same time clearly showing me that as I change the reflection around me changes too.
You have reminded me that we are ageless – and to never loose my wonder in all the different ways and details life works.
I have been really noticing that ‘stuff’ you are talking about in my relationships. Those pictures and thoughts and judgements that drop in when you are with someone and that seem to block or interrupt or reduce the connection or intimacy of the meeting. I find it is very useful to spot when this happens and nominate them and focus more on the essence of a person and the sacredness and preciousness of the connection and relationship and this supports me to let go of these pictures.
Dianne, I was smiling all the way through this, and love your approach and how there is a flow to life if we allow it, children do, and we as adults can do so too. And how you describe how children are with things is so how we can be in life, absolutely in it in that moment and then they just let it go and move on, I can feel the space in this, and how when I live this way, life is just life and I am just me no matter what is going on around me. I am part of it all, yet not caught in it.
Crickey… to have the laser like focus of the esteemed and wonderful Dianne focused on this subject is an education for us all… and it is education in the true sense of the word… expanding, opening, revealing and enlightening.
Wagging tails and wearing cute hats is a great reminder of being light and playful. While I’m possibly not going to wear either of these today I’m going to choose something that reminds me to appreciate that I am light and playful no matter what is before me. Mind you I fancy trying out a tail – I’ve never worn one before!
Many pearls of wisdom here and it shows how much children can teach and offer us. They can be true models for us, calling us to return to what we once knew.
I have been really enjoying accepting myself for being me and in doing so have released the tight grip I’d had on my playful, silly side. So as this bubbles up to be expressed more often the seriousness I had been living my life with lessens, so even in a serious moment there is so much more awareness and playfulness in there.
I love this question…”Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?” Pure wisdom in the asking.
I couldn’t agree more – this question should be on the biggest billboard before you enter every city!
Thank you Dianne, we need to redefine what we currently consider “fun” and make it that which we do from the fullness of our heart and for the good of all, as then we can do absolutely anything and if our movements are in connection to this, there will be immense joy and evolution for all.
“How much we adult dudes can learn from this kind of wise, gentle approach to each other!”
Again I find myself pondering, children come with a natural gentleness, mostly, unless they have been taught to be tough and tumble, we as adults come with a hardened forceful demeanour to protect ourselves from another, a protection that actually protects nothing, what it does is makes it impossible to hold another in the gentleness of our tender hearts. This hurts, but what hurts more is that by living with this force field of protection we don’t feel our own gentle tender heart.
I read to this sentence and then wanted to comment.
” It seems that somewhere along the way from childhood to adult, I became loaded with stuff that is not natural to me, and transformed into an ‘adult’ that bears not enough resemblance to the loving, accepting, little child I was!”
Wow, can we stop and for a
moment feel just how true this is. What happened between childhood and adulthood, what happened that the natural joy we felt, and do still hold inside, how did it stop being our chosen way of going about our day? Other people’s ideas, our need for acceptance, believing we were in some way inferior or less, worrying we won’t get what we want, wanting to control life so we will, my list alone here could go on for ever. But.. and it is a big but, not one of these ways of being reminds me of the joy that sits inside my body. Just stopping to ponder this is enough for me to again feel my joy, so begins each day feeling my joy first, then observing what I have given over my joy for and steadily saying no to these ways, so the joy I hold does not remain only within, but is lived, enjoyed and shared in my life.
I love this blog. It is so light and fun-filled yet at the same time profound in what is being shared. In it’s writing, Dianne, you express with the same child-like energy that you describe in your observations.
Reading this all the seriousness just goes and silliness seems such fun – just like when we wanted to go out and play when we were younger. Love the observations, scientific or not. I am sure we would learn more about each other and ourselves by observing life like this instead of having to have a study, and list of questions, and a set criteria.
“So I sat and silently observed her just as she is, not reacting, not judging, not ‘trying to help’.” A very powerful line Dianne, the ‘trying to help’ is such a huge one, instead of simply being ourselves, reflecting love and letting people be, responsible for themselves.
It is easy to see how pure children are, especially in their early years. Yes they are little stars, however this can change as they grow and are educated and influenced in the world. This can lead to a manipulative type of behaviour which needs to be identified so that the child can be gently guided to see their behaviour for what it actually is.
Truly wise words. As I see this happening within young adults increasingly.”Gently guided”, being the operative reminder for me.
… Who on earth was writing this I felt as I went deeper and deeper into the article… This is not some casual study but a writing of extraordinary observation… And of course it was our beloved Dianne with her amazing eyes connected to her amazing heart which then connects To her amazing expression
Yes count me in Dianne! The playfulness of children should be the most infectious disease. There is a lightness of being to it, a way of understanding energy and how things feel that we have lost in the seriousness of adult life.
I love your playful science and openness with people; it resonates with what is naturally with-in me. Sometimes I express in silly ways when it feels natural and spontaneous to do so, but what I note is that I almost feel like an explanation is needed to go with it. This is something I am going to put to a more ‘playful scientific observation’ and see what is reflected back. Thanks Dianne for the on-going inspiration to bring out all that we already are.
Reading these examples makes it hard to believe that as adults we go so far away from our natural selves, and then believe or defend the seriousness we end up with, as being the only way to get through life. It would seem that the complication we endorse just gets in the way of us being naturally light and at ease with ourselves, as we were when young.
“What can I learn from children (and dog children) that I seem to have forgotten?” So true Dianne there is so much we can learn from children in how they freely express, don’t hold back and say what they feel in a joyful openness, this is so inspiring and in their expression it can expose how as we get older we learn to conform to what is right and wrong and not what is true and lovingly there to be expressed.
As I read this blog I could feel how exhausting it is to hold back what we actually feel and that the force we use to hold back with can and does cause illness and disease.
Exactly Elizabeth. It’s just that we suppress our natural playfulness but that in doing so we create disharmony and tension in our bodies that is the start of all illness and disease.
I love how kids can just walk up to people and start a conversation. I am always inspired by the beauty, innocence and playfulness of children. I recently spent a day with a group of children. I had thoughts come in that I needed to ‘entertain’ them or do something or provide something. It was great to see that when we just allowed them to be they came up with their own games and every child in the group had a sense of purpose and was involved either in a game or in creating something. The group of 16 kids played like this for over 5 hours. Occasionally something would come up for them to work through but they would find their way and would be back into the game with no issues- I love watching kids play.
Sometimes I can see in the way a child will look at me, a deep and complete disbelief at how complicated and harmful I can allow life to be.
Point 5 made me consider the joy I feel when I see strangers connect, or people looking out for others they don’t know. And how natural it all is to want to care for another, and that they don’t need to be family or a friend for us to do so. How stuffed up we have made life when we don’t feel this and want this to be our way of life, yet you really get the sense that the only way we will change is if a disaster came along and left us truly reliant on one another, then we might get a glimpse of how connected we could be.
To live a simple, fulfilling and loving life certainly is what most children and animals already do and hence how beautiful is it that we have so much of this around us to gently and lovingly be inspired by!
Thank you Dianne for what you have shared, amazing what we can see and feel when we observe life with out judgment, and coming from our inner knowing, I love the joy in children and animals it opens up my own joy in the feeling of their joy.
The flow and rhythm of children at play is really something to appreciate and take into our adult lives.
Amazing Dianne, Life is all about observations and learnings.
Kids really haven’t changed over the years no matter what culture, religion or socio economic background they are from when we remove the distraction of electronic equipment they return to the innocence and fun of their true connection.
By letting go of our hurts and other baggage we gather along the path of life frees us to return to the natural flow and simple and enjoyable life.
I love your observations Dianne and the questions you pose are very helpful to unlock the inner child, to open up and be playful and also silly with each other. I know for myself when ‘my seriousness’ kicks in I am trying to prove myself, I am acting nice and polite but the truth is that’s not my piece of cake …actually I am more like the puppy wagging my whole body.
The simple truths that are seen in the behavior of children, what they choose and how they are not ashamed or compelled to hold back themselves is a way of being that we as adults can begin to practise.
There is something so glorious in the spontaneity of children and it’s why we as adults love being around them. They express how they feel and they don’t filter, and they remind us that we too are silly, lovely, and that it’s not about what we do but to just be who we are. I love your experiment Dianne.
“This is a very haphazard, poorly controlled experiment by ‘scientific standards’, but wow – the useful observations it has provided!” Scientific experiments cannot replace the interactions and observations that we have as human beings, and do not come from a lived experience. I would say your experiment Dianne far outweighs any experiment that science could come up with to measure interactions such as these.
What we accept as an enjoyable experience, is nowhere near what a truly enjoyable experience feels like when felt with the whole body. For a start, the latter feels complete and truly amazing, whereas the first example, leaves you wanting for more and can only be experienced mostly from the non-feeling mind, so we have to keep reliving it from there to re-experience it to feel that buzz again.
Who says that science should be monopolised just like most institutions are by a handful of people telling everyone else what our relationship with it should look like. The layman’s scientific observations and insights which you keep so playfully sharing to me display the essence of true science. Thank you Dianne.
‘Doing things within the flow and connection of the whole. Why not?’ Yes, what gets in the way I wonder? For me it’s a control thing – what if I miss a detail and get into trouble or inadvertently harm someone? What if I miss paying attention to how I am being received and annoy someone? On reflection all these fears were born from childhood where I could have been playing very safely but someone else’s fears disturbed the harmony or didn’t like seeing a child so free as it reminded them of what they’d given up on so didn’t want to educate from loving understanding but fear and rigid rules.
So there is nothing getting in the way but these beliefs which I can drop as I choose to live more from my essence and re-parent myself and say actually I’ve got it covered and if I haven’t I’m willing to make mistakes and learn.
I had to come back and read this again because the fact that what many adults call fun is actually harming shows how we have both distorted the words we live and the truth of them but also how we’re missing out what is the true joy. I get a sense of joy from time to time, and today my life is more consistent and solid than its ever been but I also feel how I’m not enjoying the fullness of joy that I am because of all the things I still accept that are not truth and at the same time the fact I don’t deeply appreciate the all that I bring, all the time.
It is super interesting that we can at such a young age be afraid of being who we are and then resort to seeking attention from what we do. This then magnifies and becomes even more ingrained as the years go by when we are not being who we are.
“How is it that adult life becomes so serious, so burdened, that we constantly look for ways to numb and escape?” simply reading this one line raises so many questions, to me it encapsulates the problems we have in society but not that we should blame others rather what have we done and allowed that means we live void of the joy we were and are innately blessed with?
It looks that the most important thing in human life is to rekindle that inner connection with the natural flow of life in which life becomes simple and enjoyable once again.
Being true to the natural flow of life is actually the qualities as when we are a child. There is a flow and ease in how a child is, we usually do not hold back, we show our feelings exactly as they are, no holds barred and we are super loving. This is how the universe operates also.
It’s interesting to reflect here how our approach to, and understanding of life changes along the way between young child and adult. Where sheer enjoyment of ourselves in play (where any aspect was a playground) turns into a need to numb with TV, chocolate, alcohol, work, sex… these things never letting us recapture that joyful flow. Once the presence and sensitivity is let go of, in place of what the world asks us to be, we have relinquished the joy of movement until the moment we reconnect back to our bodies and use them again to inform our day.
It is truly liberating when we can let go of the impositions that have been placed on us by the world and once again claim back our innate innocence and love for ourselves and others and express it in full with no holding back just like the reflection of pure love from a child.
‘Paying attention and making intentional observations’ invites me to remember the fact that I am always learning and all I need to do is humbly open up to this fact and be inspired by everything I observe.
Very true Matilda for in every observation there is an opportunity to learn.
I love this blogs question of how much are we living the innate truth we knew how to express in all ways as children. Children so often annoy me due to the level of exurburance and joy that doesn’t fit into what needs to happen next. Such an ugly admission but it’s true and I am thankful I am willing at least to be honest and know there is much more love and joy to be expressed.
Ugly maybe, but super refreshing in its honesty and therefore the possibility to look at why on earth we would mind someone’s enthusiasm, joy and exuberance for life.
A child’s sense of fun is playful, joyous and spontaneous. An adult’s sense of fun comes from the need for distraction from the gnawing emptiness they feel because they have left their childhood innocence and entered into the sophisticated adult world that needs entertainment as a relief from the sense of burden they feel. Yet we are all still kids at heart, and dogs and children are always reminding us of this and inviting us to come out and play.
Observing kids and the contrast between them and the adults they are with, is something I really enjoy. I feel there is so much to learn from them, especially the way they move their bodies so freely and without any issues about how they look. In contrast the adults move in a very contained, joyless way and the tension in their bodies is very obvious. I think we look at kids with a longing for that flow and freedom that we once had. I feel we explain away this difference by thinking that kids don’t have any responsibility, but are they mutually exclusive? Perhaps this is just an excuse for not staying with that lovely free way of being we naturally had and can choose again.
I remember as a child being open with strangers as I felt in a Nano second if I could trust them or not. That built-in radar never failed…perhaps it is as adults that we shut down this inner knowing and with it our sense of trust and close down to those around us.
What we should do in life is hold onto the true aspects of childhood and allow ourselves to grow out of those aspects that will not truly serve us in adulthood. Unfortunately, we tend to do the opposite, suppressing our love, tenderness, and openness, but in truth never dealing with that which hurt us. And thus we are often a slave to emotions that affected us from childhood.
Dianne you make science real, relatable and most importantly an enjoyable discovery that we are all part of.
It would serve us well to keep checking in on ‘how many ways I/we are like a child’ and to make sure we don’t hold them back.
Awesome observations Dianne, the joy is beautiful to feel. I remember sitting quietly by as my then 4 year old granddaughter was throwing a tantrum outside a toy store. She had just started school and I had picked her up and we passed the toy store to get back to my car. We had gone in for a moment just for fun to look at the toys but when it was time to leave she responded with this tantrum so I sat and watched her and the people go by until she suddenly stopped and came over to me and said “Nanna can you please take me home now”. And off we went. To me she had just released the tension of being at school and as I was sitting there waiting for her to come back I thought how stressed I used to get as a mother of a tantruming child and how that just added to the tension of the child.
It is very interesting to feel how the loss of innocence was probably in reaction to a few people as a child and got generalised to a lack of trust in most people as we became adults. The crazy thing is when we shut others out to seemingly protect ourselves it goes against our very natural exchange as beings of love and hurts us even more than a possible attack from another.
I have seen my children heal people with their joy and sweetness, openness and innocence which accepted people totally with no conditions. By contrast, I was often concerned about what people thought of me, whether I had said the right thing or was wearing the right clothes and this preoccupation with myself did not allow for a true connection with people. The more I am just being me, the easier it is to connect with others and they then feel they can also be themselves.
We often overlook the beauty of simplicity because we are chasing an illusion of grandeur, thinking that something out there will make us better, more attractive, more intelligent when all along we just need to be as natural as we were as a child. If we can stay with that while moving through the sophisticated adult world we will reflect that to other people and it may remind them of the beauty of simplicity.
It’s the openness and the wonderment children possess that I really love and when we apply this to our life it brings such joy and expansion to our movements and creates a lot more space and flow to our daily rhythms too.
Ahh – so brilliant Dianne. When you look around at the young kids in this world, and then again at the adults we have become, who is it you would say is developed, healthy and wise? The way we carry on makes no sense, seen in this light – the gorgeous, playful, delighted innocence and effortlessness you describe is our true strength and one we are perfectly designed to return to in life. I cherish too the ability kids have to remind us this serious view of the world and ourselves, just isn’t true. Thanks for penning this beautiful invitation to enjoy our day as a playdate.
Understanding the ease of being a child is something that I too had forgotten. But I am learning it is not a mind thing, but a feeling in my body that I am again giving permission to.
I greatly enjoy reading this article and ask why aren’t experiments conducted like this more often in science? The ‘results’ are simple, informative, evolving and supportive of humanity.
I love the way children turn everything into play and wonder how and why we lost this quality. I re-call how as I got older, life became more serious as I pushed myself to meet expectations: education, jobs, homes and relationships. Interesting to see what would happen if I turned everything into play again.
This made me stop and wonder at how in turn our bodies stiffen as we age and whether or not there is a relation to a stiffness in being ie no longer allowing ourselves to be silly and have fun which in turn leads to a stiffness in the body!
No matter our age nor physical capabilities we are all children of the Universe, the many Sons of God that deep down understand the innate truth that it is our playfulness and openness that helps restore the light divine within us all. Awesome observations yet again Dianne.
I am just discovering that when I breathe the Gentle Breath and feel how full of warmth and presence I am deep within every cell, bubbles of playfulness and laughter arise. Of course this is by returning to what we felt and knew as young children, open and fearless, until we were taught otherwise. Connection to that presence is the key to being able to naturally play.
I love this Dianne – ” I do have a very playful, silly ‘streak’ and don’t mind looking ‘childish’ in public if I’m having harmless fun, like doing slippery-shoe slides along the shopping mall floor, or hanging out of a nice tree.” I have that too and reading your blog, it is inspiring to let this out more again. I found when my children were younger, I could easily connect to just that and the laughter we had was awesome. These days, we can still laugh without holding back at funny situations and have a carefree way about ourselves when we are together. It is good to feel it’s still all there.
We are all children at heart and with the responsibility we have this can be combined with the playfullness and flow we have as children and we do not need to lose this as reflected to us by the Benhayons and you here for us all to see. How beautiful simple and joyful instead of the complicated way life so often becomes.
Dianne, I enjoy your playful openness, ‘wagging’ at people, and yes, I’ve noticed too that people do not seem so guarded but is that a reflection of how we are, or is the world really changing? – I hope so. There is no doubt that the more people are open the more others are encouraged to be themselves too.
It is so true, we lose a sense of openness with others when we get hurt or rejected in life and this can lead to a pattern of not being open with others and holding back all of who we are as a way of protecting us from future hurts. However in doing so, we don’t let others in and miss out on the connection with others we are really wanting.
Very true Dianne we lost our silliness and our natural way of being in life, the joy connecting with each other. Why do we, as a society, accept teenagers and even younger to numb and turn down their playfulness, to escape in all kind of behaviours we say is normal for their age. I know teenagers who have been raised in a way (the Way of the Livingness) that they feel met and confirmed in who they naturally are and for sure it is not normal to act like teenagers are allowed to do nowadays.
Wow Dianne, your writing is amazing, It feels so delicate and innocent, it kind of reminds me of a child’s expression.
It’s the playfulness and lightness that Dianne so beautifully shares with us isn’t it? I also love that in her presentations about science, as it makes that accessible for me where the sterile environment at school I had learning science, did anything but make me understand …
It is a true marker of retuning to our true essence when we appreciate how we are more like we were as children, open, appreciative, joyful and less hardened and heavy as adults. I am joyful, this is a reconnection to something I knew as a child.
In fact it means we really must learn to STOP being uptight and serious, because it contracts and compresses us so terribly!
True, Linda. Ya cain’t perceive it if it ain’t already in you! Just like we can hear by having a membrane in our ears capable of vibrating the same as the incoming sound, and see with visual cells capable of resonating with the vibration of the incoming light, we can relate/vibrate to openness and playfulness because we already ‘have the equipment’ fully formed inside us. Must take a lot of effort to override it – imagine willing ourselves to be deaf or blind in spite of our natural ability! Yet that’s what we do in regard to inner senses….
Indeedy, Mary. But it’s still a choice. Be your inner kid sometime (when it feels natural and un-forced). Watch how other adults respond. They may grin, sneer, even express hostility or disgust and reject you (that comes from jealousy and sadness), but look for the subtle signs…. oh they want it too!
This is a very touching blog of the true joy of expressing one self in full and is a real inspiration to do the same . The unconditional love of puppies and dogs and the freedom and joy of expression with no holding back is an inspiration for everyone and a true marker for humanity.
The innate ‘beingness’ of children without the caution and mistrust we have learned as adults is beautiful to interact with. On the other hand when children clock that we have observed their ‘naughtiness’ they often choose to change their behaviour, especially if they are being emotionally manipulative. They know full well what they are doing.
” Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?!”- Dianne I loved your example of this- being playful allowed the 4 yr old child to understand his behaviour was not very loving. A powerful lesson, without having to take the child aside and scold him like most adults would probably do.
Number 9 and this line – “But the mere fact that he restrains his usual anger and chooses his own way to express love, means that he does recognise love, and wants to let me know it.” struck me as how insightful this is, and the understanding that you got from this and the allowance to see the boy for where he truly is and what he is offering. Incredible.
The Willy Wagtail birds dancing in my garden also remind me to be playful.So cheeky!
‘Kids flow like flocks of birds, swirling water, the wind in the trees’ and when we appreciate this fact we can be inspired by it. I cannot but consider how our workplaces would be if they were founded on the same flow and rhythm.
Dianne, this is so gorgeous to read, working with children I observe this, ‘in their movements, sounds and all expressions, kids flow like flocks of birds, swirling water, the wind in trees… There is a free rhythm’, it is very beautiful to see this; the natural flow; they play with something – maybe alone or with someone else and then move on when they feel to, there is joy and laughter and creativity, jumping; rolling; climbing – so sweet and silly and joyful to watch, it’s rare to see young children standing looking serious, unsure of what to play with and any disagreements are usually resolved easily and they move on, not holding onto grudges or judgments like we often do as adults.
Its so true what you say about puppies Dianne, and even some older dogs greet you in this way. I met one such dog just yesterday as I was getting out of my car. He simply wanted to say hello and the joy on his face and from his whole body was palpable. Completely unassuming, innocent and open, wanting to share nothing other than the sheer joy of being who he was and expressing that to someone he had never met before. Such a beautiful and infectious momentary meeting, and a gorgeous reflection for me, that I too can be that way with others.
The more I observe the more I realise we had it all as babies and incrementally move away from this natural knowing and ability to express in full and be completely in our bodies. We really are returning to our truth.
Imagine if we were as open and joyful with everyone as you describe through the puppies wagging their tails at everyone they meet…imagine if we let our guard down to the same extent?
I love your point 2 about the neighbours’ kids ‘dropping in’ for a quick chat, even though they may not know you very well.. I was recently quite lost looking for toilet roll in a supermarket (usually there is a very obvious aisle!) and I saw a woman carrying some about 3 times when wandering around… I wanted to ask her where she got it, but I was worried it would be rude or awkward to interrupt her shopping, but realised after how ridiculous this barrier I’d created for no reason between me and someone who I just didn’t know very well was!
We do that because we’re afraid of others’ response. However, once we begin to open up, the majority of people are actually willing to open up too.
Sometimes I really do have to stop myself being such an adult and have to wonder what has become of the playfulness that I managed to cling onto right into my 20’s and 30’s.
I know what you mean Kev. Playfulness is very natural for us so it says a lot about what happens as adults when we don’t give ourselves permission to be playful.
There is a lot of pressure and expectation to grow up in our society. Growing up is defined to leave the wonder of being a child, the connection with our hearts and to become stoic, hard and unfeeling. When someone expresses how they feel, they are judged to be weak, childish, improper and immature. Joy is replaced with seriousness. When we leave being a child, immediately life becomes much harder. What is hard though, is not because we have grown up—rather it is us shutting ourselves from the natural expression of ourselves. We cannot but feel, and choosing to express differently from what we feel or holding back expressing who we are naturally, is an exhausting business. Imagine adults going through life doing that—anyone would feel that it is tough. When we grow up we did not suddenly become swamped with responsibilities—we have always had to be responsible, and this responsibility is simply to be ourselves and to express. If we have committed to this when we are young, responsibility is in-truth joyful, this will naturally become our adulthood. If we have committed to living when we are young, this commitment will also carry on and be a part of our adulthood.
Very much so there is a science to observing as your experiment shows so very clearly.
Indeed Esther, I too recognize that life is actually not only science, but philosophy and religion at the same time. There is more to life than I ever could imaging.
Amazing observations! I have fallen for the approval of being serious and burdensome knowing somehow I go unnoticed from disapproval and being asked to do more – if what I’m doing now I show as being too much, too hard then I’ll not be asked to be more.
It is so true that there is such a beautiful openness and unguardness to many children that can melt our hearts and get us to drop our own wariness and caution.
And when we connect with them on that level the joy and the openness is just so beautiful, and harmony and trust flows, an enriching moment for adult and child alike, though I would say for the child it would just be a ‘normal’ feeling…
Your gorgeous blog Dianne reminds me of the saying ‘older and wiser’ which never sat well with me. As you have shared here there is a huge source of wisdom, truth, love and joy constantly being reflected by our children if we are willing to open our eyes to see it.
Yes we certainly can learn a lot from kids, we can tap into how they life, the flow, the ease, without shirking our responsibilities as adults, but to deeply understand that those qualities don’t every leave us, they just get hidden by our choices to protect, stay stuck in our hurts and not want to go deeper with our connection to ourselves.
I feel so much joy whenever I enter the same space that a child is playing in. This is not scientific but I have found that when a child is open as you say Dianne, the joy that is felt by me and whom ever that child may be is amazing.
Reading this blog reminded me of the conversations I had with my colleagues in my twenties. We would discuss which restaurants had the best smorgasbords where you could eat the most for the least amount of money. We would have lengthy discussions on how many plates of food, the type of food, how often you could go back for more and the price. Our lives were very empty and we needed to fill them up with inane distractions like this.
An awesome blog to revisit and be reminded of the true nature we are of.
I love the joy I feel in reading this article and all it allows us “being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.” Beautiful and real appreciation for children nature and the magic of God.
They say a child’s brain is still developing and so when they are truthful we marvel at this, mainly, sometimes squirm, but what if what they present is not so much about the level of brain activity but the lack of a block on their expression. Children have been less conditioned to play games in how they interact, and thus shoot from the hip, or anywhere else in the body as a soulful expression free from the shackles we have as adults. So it isn’t a limited form of expression due to a still forming brain, but a highly intelligent expression delivered from the whole body.
Actually the brain development, with all the ‘conditioning’ of a hurtful, emotional life and the programmed, inappropriate perceptions resulting, actually blocks their/our intelligence!
The beauty of watching children be just as they are, offers much to us as adults to see that life is full to the brim with opportunities to laugh, love, learn and enjoy moving from the flow of our own natural rhythm and how this in turn shapes our lives forevermore.
When children grow up in a environment where they are free to express free of fitting into their parents pictures they have so much wisdom to share.
When we take the time to be present with ourselves and truly observe the reflections offered to us we have the opportunity to go and evolve in every moment.
Children learn at a very young age to read their parents and other adults in their lives and learn to behave accordingly to keep themselves safe.
How much we can learn from life when we are open to simply observing it openly and asking questions as you have done Dianne.
Kids can remind us of the open, flowing and playful way both life and we can be.
The simplicity of life as a child when I said what was in my head and felt all around me what exactly was happening got lost as I matured thinking I was so clever as an adult playing with the games of the world alongside everyone else. It is quite easy to return to the qualities we had as children because they are not gone, we had simply disconnected from them.
Children express levels of wisdom and physical awareness that many adults just don’t live…it is beyond ironic that we send them to school to be educated (as they are now) without appreciating the wisdom and reflection they bring for us.
Our 5 year-old just started ‘big school’. In his infinite wisdom he calls it ‘teeny weeny’ school, because he can see what a pathetic reduction of true education it really is.
I love how we can playfullly observe and experiment in life. It beats relying on scientific research only. And I find I always discover far more or completely different feedback/results from what I was expecting!
Deep observation with understanding instead of judgment, wins every time!
What a great blog to remind us how naturally open, giving and playful we are. Whilst reading I was able to feel the playfulness within but what stood out was remembering how easy it could be to talk to people, innocent questions and comments would just flow. I also remember being pulled up for being “rude” or inappropriate in my questioning, and told you don’t say things like that, or you don’t ask those questions….all very innocent questions for a child…..but embarrassing from an adult point of view….and therein lies the beginning of curbing our curiosity and our openness.
Because we don’t want to hurt others….. heartfelt beginning of a slippery slide that takes us further and further from heart….
It goes to show that we all know our true essence and the lived quality of truth that we can oft relate to in children and in ourselves from young… an essence that is forever present and calling us to express the true us forth once more.
It is a great point that you offer here Dianne why do the simple pleasures that we have in childhood get morphed into destructive choices as adults? There are so many reflections offered to us and a depth of wisdom that is there when we don’t judge and react, so beautifully shown in what you have written
I simply love this blog. Just the knowing that we all have endless qualities of a child in us that we can re-connect to at any time, fills me with joy.
I loved the description of the child tilting the shoulders ready to connect. How often do we dismiss childish acts as not being the full of wisdom and deep love that they so fully are. How much we can learn from children if we drop our serious front.
Living now with 3 kids aged 5, 7 and 11 (and 2 small dogs) I’m being re-reminded of how subtle and also wise in an ageless, timeless way, that the signals from kids can be. Observing fully and openly, they communicate many things to us unspoken, even in the midst of their play. It is easy to be distracted and even ruffled by the noise, sudden changes and general apparent chaos that a bunch of kids can generate…. and of course if they start to get all wound up and disharmonious that’s where our own adult wisdom (if we connect to it) can support the children as equals to come back to themselves, with humour and lightness or stillness and detachment – either way, they get it. They really do appreciate it, and then we are being role models for them, which really just means – reflections of what we all are, greater than we may be living now. But we must stay open to them being role models for us, too. When they feel the equalness being offered, they can bless us with elder wisdom that knows no age, and supports we adults back to our connection too. It’s a 2-way street. In fact that wisdom is so deep, that the subtlety is a very loving offering of understanding and tenderness, when they can see that we are hurt, protected, stressed, whatever. Real love in action. What I love is that in the equalness, children and even babies show that they not only do not want ‘baby talk’, pandering, distractions or ‘protection’ from stark truth (all belittling of them), but they don’t even like such untruthful communication. They actually ‘tolerate’ it because they sense you want them to, they learn to ‘grin and bear it’, then ‘play ball with it’, then ‘buy into it’ as it becomes a habit. Eventually our nonsense ‘child talk’ becomes their reality – they grow up into a sad false reality instead of the real reality they were once already in! Then they have kids of their own and start talking baby talk at them, not reading, not observing, and thus missing the loving signals of their children, and so it goes on… But it need not, and in this comment thread a lot of awesome ‘guides for life’ are being written.
I was once invited by a group of women who felt they had lost their sense of playfulness, to join them in their “playgroup”. It was so prescribed and directed and thought out that it felt forced and awkward, and as far from sillness and innocent fun as you can imagine. I left after one session. Observing and laying with children is surely the way to re-learn to connect with our inner playfulness, and keeping things light, and laughter. It is no good trying to be playful, it has to come from the heart. When you talk about children moving like flocks of birds Dianne, I realise I have so often noticed how children suddenly and spontaneously stop one thing they are doing and move to another. They give themselves permission to lose interest and turn away, whereas we have been programmed to be polite. This kills spontaneity.
I’d love to see that “playgroup” led by a child, and how you would have felt then! I’ll bet the child would ‘read’ the women, tell them truth so clearly that they would not be able to reject it, and they would end up playing, healing, and the real purpose of the group would be fulfilled.
That is interesting Diane, I don’t think these women had much to do with children in their lives. I had children, by then late teenage, and also taught children occasionally, and I recognised that our attempts were not it, but at the time did not feel confident enough to say that, just said it was not for me. I realise now how I tried to control the children in my workshops because of my own lack of knowing myself and feeling confident. How wonderful it would have been if your idea had been followed, and if I could have followed the children in my class. When you are connected with yourself you cannot do anything but follow a child’s playing because it is them just being them, and if you are just being you then there is connection between you, and understanding, unless you try to suppress them and take control like I did. And that is what we have done with ourselves very often for the sake of acceptance and recognition, and so lose our sense of play.
I was food shopping and a baby was crying, while her mom shopped. Babys are so open to really looking at you and connecting without words. I caught the baby’s eyes as I walked past and smiled, which is so easy for me to do when I see a child. The child immediately stopped crying as it looked at me, only for an instant, but I felt the connection there. Children are so open to connecting with another. All humans are like that, we just need to stop and surrender, get out of the way. It is always there waiting.
I love having eye contact with babies out in the world. As I’m not into goo-goo ga-ga pandering, but meeting the whole person with my whole person through our eyes without emotion or silly expressions, I have the most amazing relationships – worlds conveyed with a few seconds glance or a couple of minutes of regarding each other. I can see in them that they are seeing something in me that they are not getting from the other adults in their life. And so what I see is not a baby, but someone just like me, serenely contemplating someone just like them.
There are many ways that we can be like a child in a way that is ‘childlike’. There are also many ways we can be like a child in ways that are ‘childish’. There is a massive difference.
Such a great reminder of how much we can learn from children and how much we are willing to give up to become so called responsible adults when we really do have it all from the start.
Being childlike so often gets seen as simply joking a lot or being naive. I love how you have dashed this idea Dianne and made it clear there are so many qualities kids have that would serve us all well to live. My particular favourites are their directness and unashamed way of saying what’s true without fear and secondly their off kilter way of seeing reality. This always highlights to me that what we think is concrete and real is just an illusion – pure fancy and pie in the sky. Kids stories bring more truth than our adult endeavours do.
This blog carries the essence of True Science for me so much more than the caricature version the rigid, controlled and exclusive outfit modern science has become. True Science is expansive, fun and can be observed and appreciated by anyone. Thanks Dianne.
What if all
Science was based on in
Life observations like this one – how cool would that be! Nothing too complicated or technical – just a simple observing of life as it is.
Wow Dianne, this was so well timed to read this today and gain another level of understanding of myself and others, one of my biggest takeaways today is that people often react in ways we don’t expect and they are expressing love in how they can in that moment, like the child you describe who was withdrawn, but not expressing his anger with you, he understood the love you presented and knew it and responded how he could in that moment. This is a big reflection for me, I often expect people to respond in a certain way and can get disturbed when they don’t but you are showing that we can go deeper than that and feel where the other is at and what it is in fact that they are saying (and it may not be what we expect). And I love all the reminders of how children show us how to be naturally us, no matter what. Thank you, this has been hugely supportive today.
‘being true to nature and the universal flow of life…’. Having just risen from and Esoteric Yoga session I can feel my body is definitely naturally aligned to a rhythm that is within me. To NOT flow with that rhythm is a choice that we make at some point to follow and fit in. We cannot divorce ourselves from our universal home!
I feel Dianne it is absolutely the key and as you have shown, the children lead the way;
“being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being”.
These observations are quite telling of how much adult life is lived in an abnormal way. We are born with all these light-hearted childhood qualities and yet rarely are they seen in adult life. But just because they have been taught out of us doesn’t mean that we weren’t born with them and they cannot return. The more I treat myself with a tenderness that I would give a small child those more open and loving qualities get to come out once again.
‘The more I treat myself with a tenderness that I would give a small child those more open and loving qualities get to come out once again.’ Yes I feel the same Leigh, and am surprised sometimes by how allowing ourselves to feel our own fragility, vulnerability and being honest about that brings such sweetness to our relationships.
It is only through Universal Medicine that I have learnt that it is a natural thing to treat ourselves with a gentle, tender loving care as before these things were quite foreign and weren’t even considered in the way I lived since being a child.
‘There was no attachment or expectation or awkwardness, just a pure, simple, loving, fun exchange between two equal human beings’ – Dianne, if your science was applied in homes, schools and workplaces, it would revolutionize relationships and the way we all relate to each other. To be honored just as we are makes all the difference.
There’s nothing like when “puppy is wagging his whole body” or a small child is exuding joy from every part of their being as they play, to bring a warm fuzzy feeling throughout your body and a great big smile to your face; so how come we allocate these yummy response feelings to small dogs and small children and forget that we were a small child once and the joy that oozed from us is still sitting inside waiting to be expressed in any given moment.
This brand of science is always welcome here Dianne – there is so much to be learnt from it as it comes from what’s real. As for being as open-hearted as a child or a puppy, now that’s a result to experiment with!
I have always gotten along with babies and dogs and there is no difference in how I communicate with them, with myself and most of the time with other people. Just not worth it doing any other way.
Observing the behaviour of small children can show us exactly how knowing they are. It can appear a form of manipulation, but it can also be their learning and development, with what may have worked at an earlier time, may need to change in the future.
Observation reveals a lot about another, be that a child or adult and reveals much about ourselves.
My feeling is that this is the science of our future and that we will come to accept and appreciate how much we can learn observing and in relationship with one another, rather than only in double blind, randomised, controlled trials.
These are great observations, including the sophisticated strategies even young children use, in addition to their ability to be particularly loving.
I love this blog it is such a great reminder of how natural our ability to be present and playful is.
I just had to read this again Dianne, and particularly loved number 9: Doing vs Being. It’s so beautiful to hear a child ‘read’ and understood in this way, rather than condemned and chastised for being inappropriate, unsociable or disruptive. What a different world we’d live in if this were the usual approach to all people, of whatever age, not just to children because as you are offering, we’re all the same really, just playing out or various patterns and behaviours in so-called more sophisticated ways.
Dianne what gorgeous examples of childlike love and joy, simplicity and our natural innocence is the key back to love.
At the moment a developing appreciation of simplicity is playing a huge part in my life and purpose.
Could it be that when an adult is told they are being childish, they are feeling that what they are trying to be bullied into doing, is something that just doesn’t fell right?
Absolutely love this Dianne, it is pure science in my book, and I learnt something important just reading it, and that is that everything you shared resonated in my body as true also, and I didn’t need to conduct a double-blind placebo trial to prove it.
I loved what you have shared Dianne especially about point 2 “Neighbourhood children, a brother and sister about 5 and 7 years old, appear on my verandah on the day I move into a new house. They chat with me through the screen door as I unpack – they feel able to be safe with a total stranger, and talk about their joys, fears, loves, and games; they express all of themselves, as they are, with no holding back. I feel I want to be like that. What stops me?” I want to be this open and not calibrate what I am saying and leave behind the false idea that I have nothing of value to say. Thank you.
A few days ago I was in the street observing a car as it was driving by. In the back seat looking out of the window was a beautiful young child, still babylike. This child was observing everything outside the window and was incredibly present and still. She felt round and whole and in the foreground in her presence. In the front seat I observed her mother; stressed, in her head (not present) and unaware of the quality that was behind her in the same car; as a consequence she was emanating a contractedness and her quality made her feel like she was faded and in the background. It was a really interesting image to have observed and as a metaphor for how as adults we live our lives compared to that of many children was quite startling.
To point 5. – would it be not very natural and great to reach out for a hand that is just there in the moment when we get lost or in any situation where we need support? That we would not have to reach out for a friend or family member, but that everyone who is ‘just there’ is the right one to connect to and get some help. I can see this coming, it is our future. Now I feel inspired to live it now, be there, offer my hand to everyone around me who needs one.
Within childhood there was an essence that was constantly living out and expressing itself in a big way through all things, and what we call adult hood or adulthood responsibility is looking good by the standards which are set in our society, but what about bring that fiery essence to every part of society, how fun would be going to work, how fun would be a train trip and how energised would we be every day!
I was at the beach this morning taking my time getting into the water and I had to remind myself of the gorgeousness that surrounded me. I was in my head thinking about this and that when I was the centre of such beauty. I then looked at a child who was singing away, splashing with not a care in the world. There was no need to remind him of the joy and beauty he was amidst.
What a delightful observation. Trying to think ourself into appreciating, something that I tend to do, is nowhere even close to what the singing child was reflecting, being open and playful, feeling the gorgeousness of life within us naturally.
There is something very delightful about catching the eyes of a mischievous dog and seeing the joy that is inherently there, and could also be with each of us if we chose it.
Adults who cherish their inner child are simply a joy to be around.
Dianne, what beautiful reflections children (including 4 legged waggy tailed ones) bring, reminding us that it is natural to be joy-full, light, sensitive and open in our lives.
I love observing children and the way they interact with each other and how they move. It really does highlight the joy, vibrancy and lightness of life that can sometimes be lacking today. It’s a precious way to be for us all to reflect on and see where we to can let our pure joy and innocence play more often and not let our minds tell us that because we are adults we no longer can feel the absolute joy and lightness we are.
More and more I am realising that all of the qualities I love in young children: tenderness, joy, fragility, transparency, sensitivity, honesty are all deeply within me still just bursting to come out and play, I just need to let them.
The simplicity, openess, tenderness and innocence of a child when truly observed are not only inspirational, they also remind us that we too were once like that. As we go through life we become more protected, hardened and more sceptical of the world we live in, it is great to reminded to reconnect to the world through a child’s eyes again
We do have this warped sense of fun, far removed from the childish pleasure of a puddle, or the beauty of a bubble for instance. If we can rediscover that then the rewards we seek in these ‘adult pleasures’ become meaningless and we will realise just how damaging they are in stopping us from being able to reconnect to that simplicity that will always be inherently ours.
Work hard and play harder has long been something to be proud of and something to achieve that was always at the cost of our bodies! As technology makes our life easier our fun is getting more extreme. Gone are the days when we were young and playing with the box a gift came in was more fun than the gift. We have not lost our joy of how to play, it is just on a dusty shelf somewhere within us waiting to come out and play with the box once again!
Adult life does get too serious and the so called fun changes into games which are generally at the bodies expense, and have the potential to harm the body leading onto ill health – for example drinking, smoking, over exercising ….then for some reason we feel awkward and self conscious when it comes to what we see as childish play.
I love your scientific experiment Dianne, great observation and reflections!
A shocking question that denotes the state of our ‘normalcy’ far and wide: “Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?” Your contribution shows that the conditioning starts very early but that it can be reversed, away from the burdensome and manipulative behaviours that we can so often resort to.
Life is so simple when you’re a child, you’re part of this one awe-inspiring, wondrous world and you know you’re part of something amazing, it’s only as we get older and start to make life purely about us and our needs and wants that we forget we are part of something magical.
Great point Meg, we do lose the plot with life as we become increasingly centralised, life starts to revolve around us. Kids play in a way that remains far more connected to the all around them, responsive to that and inclusive of it in their ‘games’.
Knowing you are part of the world is such an important part of life and maintaining a healthy sense of well-being, it’s true we lose the plot when we make it all about us, life was never designed to be that way.
So true Meg, understanding we are part of something so much bigger is key… and for me that has come through experiencing the way my body is so responsive to the cycles in life… to the menstrual cycle for women, to the moon and it’s cycle, to each 24 hours and how and when I need to sleep. That gives me a sense of being part of something much bigger than me…
Yes when we are with children we realise just how much we have chosen to live protected, clammed up, brick walls around us and lost our child like joy and zest for life. There is so much we can learn from children, what they reflect and bring that joy back into our every day.
“Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?” – great question. Children naturally keep things simple. I was watching a little girl with her mum walking and when they stopped at pedestrian lights, the little girl was hanging and swinging on her mum’s hands and she was having so much fun…I couldn’t stop watching her because the joy emanating from her and the love I could see in her as she glanced up at her mum was so pure.
Being with children gives us a moment to take stock of how we are living that may be very much the being rather than the doing. Children are a great wake up call in showing us the joy of living!
I remember as a child time always seemed stretched, days seemed longer, an hour’s play felt like 2, busy wasn’t busy just time of activity, school holidays went on forever and growing up took forever. When becoming an adult, everything become squashed and squeezed, time pressured and busy… the time and space aspect of childhood disappeared. My current understanding of why this dramatic shift occurs is because as adults we stop living in the present moment and are always trying to be a few steps ahead.
I love the point that as children we often have no sense of time. I remember my mum used to always say that we’d “lost all sense of time”, and she was right, when you’re in the magic of the world time simply doesn’t exist, it’s just right here right now.
I was pondering yesterday why I adore children so much. I absolutely love their capacity to live in the moment and to express how they are feeling in the moment. I love their playfulness, their sense of joy, their affection and humour, their utter openness and natural eagerness and ability to learn, their sense of community and sense of how important it is to build relationships (I have never known my children not be excited at the thought of someone coming over to the house either adult or child to play with and interact with).. and yes all of this they reflect back to us as adults reminding us that all of this capacity to love life this way is within us too.
The fact that we have developed so many ways to entertain and create moments of ‘happiness’ or relief really highlights that we have lost our natural way of being in joy, truth and harmony.
It is lovely to take some time out and sit with children at their level and see what they see. Sometimes it can be a sea of legs in a queue, or the vast expanse of a field looks endless to a child. Often they pick out tiny details that we pre-occupied adults can miss seeing, like a spider’s web or a conker on the path. They notice the magic of God all the time.
Dianne, I love how in each of these examples you read the situations with a depth of love and understanding I feel absolutely inspired by. Thank you.
The sad thing is that the ‘complicated and harmful’ adult forms of fun are being introduced to children at younger and younger ages these days and the time when a child is allowed to be ‘simple and healthy’ which they naturally are, seems very short.
I agree, it is kind of sad but it seems that children are losing their innocence quicker and younger these days. Children innately love the simple pleasures in life but life has become so sophisticated and technological that the ‘simple and healthy’ is often ignored in favour of the over stimulating and technological ‘advances’.
This explains so clearly why people so often love being around children and puppies; it offers a reflection that they recognise and an opportunity to drop the facade and connect from their own essence. It would be amazing for there to be a wider understanding that this is a true way to connect rather than the developed adult’s ways of society.
How I walk down the street, in the office can either be closed off and protected or open and welcoming. The difference is huge. One feels like I’m sending a very clear message the world is unsafe and don’t trust, the other is so light and breezy, we’re all here together and can support each other at a moment’s notice.
“I’m changing, other people are changing, opening up somehow. Have you noticed this?” I have to say yes,I have, like you I have been at times something of an introvert. I am opening up more these days and connecting with people more, I find that this naturally comes back. This may not necessarily be with words but a look or a smile. I am realising more and more that this is what we all want more than anything but have been too shy or ‘conditioned’ to allow it.
Awesome, Jeanette… for 2 weeks I’ve had to wear a neck brace to support a damaged disk. It’s interesting going to town or the shopping centre. Of course everyone looks – it stands out. But here’s the difference: once upon a time I would have been broadcasting “don’t ask”, “leave me alone”, etc, with my energy. But now, I meet eyes in openness, without any ‘stuff’ about having a medical condition requiring such visible support, and that arises many questions in people seeing it. When I meet people’s eyes, some just begin to have the ‘usual’ reaction to expecting me, a stranger, to have the ‘usual’ reaction, but when they see real me looking at real them, they break into genuine smiles. It is understanding without judgment, the judgment and reserved behaviour falls away. Kids are great in this process: we ‘usually’ expect kids to gawk, whisper to their parents, or laugh at us with their friends (just secretly enough that we can see it and react). And some do, but mostly now they don’t. They immediately see an equal, their gaze is wise without an ounce of sympathy, and appreciation for them and that moment fills me up which they see, and we are truly meeting. Sometimes we smile in shared understanding, or not, it doesn’t matter. A moment – that’s all it takes.
A beautiful example Dianne, it always blows me away how so much can be conveyed just by a look – all the wisdom in the world can shine through our eyes when we are open and we connect.
Instead of looking to big businessmen, billionaires or those who tick the boxes of a ‘successful’ life by society’s standards, maybe we should be paying more attention to our children and finding out what choices lead to a truly content and joyous life.
Yes, the other day I had the great gift of being able to observe a child go through the process of developing a lie within, becoming aware of it and seeing it as it formed, choosing not to allow it to continue, choosing truth, and then emerging with a timeless multi-dimensional stillness that was angelically beautiful. All in a few seconds without a word spoken, and hardly a visible movement. Now put that in your book and sell it (or better still live by it), big business honchos!
Unhindered we are in body and in mind when we surrender to our true state – a state of being many of us have not embraced since childhood.
The controlling adult in us is often at the forefront and the joyful child left far behind. In our openness and playfulness it is amazing how many will meet us and become playful too. When we reflect this in each other we can maintain a lightness in our interactions however serious and on top of things we think we have to be.
Simply clocking where I veil a natural response to someone or something is a great opportunity to consider the ways in which I have covered up my innate open relationship with other people and life. Thank you for this ‘poorly controlled experiment’, Dianne.
When I am nursing, I sometimes consider the gap between the gorgeous child the person would have been and the person who has ended up in hospital, often with very serious chronic health problems. No one at 2 years of age with all the joy of being a child would imagine they would grow up to abuse their body to the point of serious, life threatening illness. It is a great reality check to consider, what happened? Why did I choose that lifestyle over who I am on the inside?
Great point Fiona! I also often look at others and feel the beautiful baby or child they were and how they likely started out as being so precious in their parents’ eyes. Our choices along the way make us who we turn out to be, and most of us gather hurts and protection that then produce behaviours that can harm us to the point of ill health, bad behaviour or worse. Thanks to the works of Serge Benhayon who has shown us a way back to the true way of living and a realisation that we have the ability to reconnect to who we truly are within.
“Something in them answers questions in us, even if we don’t know we’re asking.” This is so astute and so deeply wise regarding children, as is your blog. Thank you.
Can’t help but smile reading this again about children. “Something in them answers questions in us, even if we don’t know we’re asking.” It is the most gorgeous gift ever.
“Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?!” Yes, that is a great choice to live with and reflect to children and adults. This has always been the foundation of my best interactions.
There is such a beauty expressed in this blog about the power of observation and how much it enriches our lives. I remember as a child being very observant. I saw and felt alot and I was reminded of this when reading your blog so thank you.
Great point Elizabeth, I found this blog quite profound too in the power of observation… I was enriched just reading it.
It’s really interesting what you’ve exposed about weekends here Dianne, and come Sunday night it’s true that unless putting our head on the pillow is a relief from a crazy night out on Saturday/tiredness, our very full stomach, feeling the downer after lots of drinking etc. then many people feel like the weekend has been ‘wasted’… And then during the week we work and wish that Saturday comes quickly again, but is this really something to look forward to? Using the 2/3 days at the end of the week to smash ourselves rather than rejuvenate so that we’re at top game for the coming work week?
True, Susie. Of course it’s not the weekend that was wasted. It was the people who wasted themselves behaving that way. We even say: “I was wasted as if it’s a great thing, whereas it’s really truth being dismissed by being expressed as if its opposite is funny and acceptable.
“Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?” A very good question. What is it that happens to us between childhood and adulthood that makes us want to come out of simplicity and begin to harm ourselves as a past time?
Something I’m struggling with at the moment is what constitutes ‘funny’. I know I’m probably a bit more serious than I need to be, but, although I do consider myself to have a sense of humour, it is probably based more on cleverness than on silliness, so that may simply highlight my own insecurities (or arrogance, or both). I don’t like being teased, it always feels like someone is trying to get one over on me, being superior, not treating me as a equal. I don’t like sarcasm for the same reason, because I don’t like jokes that ridicule other people, I love puns and often I’ve enjoyed improvisation rather than scripted comedy because it’s in the moment. And I love quirky things. We are all different when it comes to humour, but it is interesting to know how to respond sometimes.
Just ‘fall into’ doing an impromptu theatre performance with some kids at home… you’ll find out what real funny is! To me the brotherhood, connection and deep understanding that can be shown by children when they make up performances, is so joyful you just have to laugh – together. Even sitting around the dinner table talking truth with kids can get deliciously hilarious. The other night our family was at table, when we all got into sharing how we lie (not just with words), all our different quirky specific styles and facial expressions that can give us away to others if they are observant enough. It was a deep conversation, very real, very truthful, very healing, and yet we had so much fun with it and no-one felt threatened by it. And I was amazed at the depth and detail of the understanding (and non-judgmental acceptance) that each child had of the way lies are conveyed by each person. Funny it was, and yet my own sense of how to support the children in staying truthful, and they me, is still expanding…and still reverberating in our relationships…
Dianne, your observations of humanity have lead to great love and understanding of people. This understanding is valuable beyond measure, we will get nowhere without it.
The natural joy and simplicity of a child is there within us all and hence their presence is always showing us this so beautifully. The question ” Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?” Where is the truth of nature and the universal flow of life within us in the way we live ? now this is something we can allow and make changes in our lives and how we live to bring back this beautiful playful way of living and the responsibility and obedience we all have to do this for humanity as a whole.
It is indeed a great question to as ourselves where we have left that playfulness we had as a child. It is so common among adults to be “serious” as that we have made life to be while in fact there is no real difference from being a child or an adult to begin with.
” observing and tracing the inner and outer incongruities” It becomes a mirror reflection when you are still and observing the shenanigans of the spirit, children know and adjust accordingly but adults are more in illusion that their ‘act ‘ is convincing.
Ooo, tell it like it is, Merrilee!
“Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.” Yes Dianne, indeed this maybe the key, and a simple one it would be at that as we all have the capability to do this. It ultimatley comes down to personal choice.
Its so easy for us to lose our playfulness and get bogged down with the more serious things in life. But when we remain connected with ourselves it is simple to connect with others, and equally simple to connect to the lightness that is always within us. We always have a choice as to whether or not we allow any serious situation to be heavy and weigh us down, or to keep them light without being flippant or dismissive.
The process of growing up should not mean that we leave all childlike qualities behind, even though that that is invariably what happens. Ironically, those qualities we leave behind are not actually childlike qualities per say, but we have come to see them as such, because they are qualities mostly only displayed by children. As adults, we are way too restricted to express in this way.
Sure Adam, we tend to do the childlike qualities of as being childish and make life ‘serious’ instead of just living life in the playfulness as is naturally lived and expressed as a child.
Oh yeah! And what a justification it is of the complicated life we have created for ourselves, to dismiss childlike qualities as lesser and not sophisticated enough for us!
I remember when a good night out was measured the next day by how much money was left in my wallet the next day, especially if my memory was a bit foggy. And this was the image of a good time? You are so right Dianne, about we what we can learn from children or should we say they are a reflection, for what we have lost over the years!
It is important to note that true playfulness does not involve fun that happens at the expense of another.
It is interesting to observe the harshness we adopt in day to day living and to bring honest assessment as to whether we are indeed living life or if it is living us, having given ourselves over to any number of escapes.
There is nothing like the natural joy of connecting. Often I find myself walking down the street and strangers smiling at me. I realise that I naturally engage with people, not necessarily through conversation, but the way I move, my energy in the moment. It feels open and playful and I love the confirmation it brings to my body.
The very practical wise humble forever learning attitude of a student of life, the everyday life science that really counts to allow us all growing into being the divine giants that we are.
I was speaking to my children on the telephone the other day (I am living abroad) and my youngest wanted to grab a quick word before going to school. “Hi, Bye” That was it – he was gone. And yet within those two words and three seconds was contained absolutely all of him. It was astonishing to feel afterwards how complete that “conversation” felt to me.
Yes and so great to be open to how much was contained in those two words in the absence of some imposed idea of what ‘connecting with our children’ should look or be like.
And the confidence he had that you got it all
And if I didn’t that was my problem, not his!
Your humility allows you to be a 24/7 student. It’s very inspiring.
We do not have to be a child to be childlike or childish. When we are our open, loving, inquisitive, joyful, unaffected self we are childlike no matter our age. When we are self centred, self obsessed, determined to get our own way, controlling, reactionary, stubborn, and choosing to take everything personally we are being childish.
Thank you Dianne, what you have presented here is a reminder of the innocence, playfulness and pure joy within us all- it’s all there for us and all that is required is a conscious choice to let go of the complexities we have subscribed to in life and claim back the love that we lived as children.
Your life is a true science experiment. Such inspiration from children, there is definitely something to reflect on
When I was a teenager I often missed childhood and wished I could go back, there was something so free and joy-full about it, and things were just so natural. Now I have come to a point where I realise that I didn’t give that joy-full child a chance to grow up and instead took on behaviours and beliefs that weren’t mine and clouded everything I knew to be true – so in essence it is all still there.
This is the thing. It’s not that we grow up and/or out of being a child, it is just that we take on so many ideals, beliefs, stresses, strains and rhythms that just end up burying the child. But he/she is always still there.
We spend so many more years in the adult state of being serious and burdened by life compared to the joy and lightness of being in that short period when we are young. This ratio does not have to exist – it is time to play again.
There is much to share and appreciate in this article, children are a beautiful refection for us to see how we can live with joy and ease in our lives, no need for the complication.
I love what you share here Dianne, we literally have to much to learn about being the love we naturally are and how to simply express that from the masters – small children.
I wonder if Matthew (18:3) knew what you are talking about or would he be quite surprised reading your blog – “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”
Wow Alex – that is a beauty. I reckon Mathew and Dianne are on to something!
As adults we have a lot we can offer children by way of our lived experience and wisdom and there is so much that they too have to offer us – to remind us of innate qualities that lay within us all and to inspire us to re-ignite with them. Age is no barrier to true universal wisdom.
We are all always reflecting something to those around us, we never stop communicating to each other. Your blog prompts me to ask the question …. am I always aware of what I am reflecting to others and is it true to me, or am I merely mirroring what I am feeling around me?
I love watching my own kids move – there is so much lightness, joy and ease in their movements and disposition. It is very inspiring and challenging for me to observe at the same time. Challenging because it reflects to me a way of living that I know but have traded for something else that we call ‘being a grown adult’ which does feel as though it is missing something very fundamental and important to our well-being which most children have in bucketloads.
“Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.” – Exactly this and not hard to do either – awareness, observation without absorption and reflection go a long way in being well on the path to what you have expressed.
I love your blogs Dianne – I really enjoy how you relate everything you write about to your daily life – this brings it so close to us and so much easier to connect to as it is real life experiences and observations you share in a way we all can start to do too – what amazing insights and shifts we all can then enjoy too.
Great question Dianne – “Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?” Why indeed,where is this coming from – this change? To become childlike in expression of joy and life feels so awesome …
Some awesome observations here. I’m particularly drawn to the way you describe staying non-judgmental and thereby offering through your own behaviour a kind of ‘truth benchmark’ against which a child gets a reflection or measure of their own manipulative behaviour. I often play a similar game when I see children playing up to a parent who has opted to ignore the child as a strategy to handle the situation. Same as you, I’ve found two outcomes – they either desist and start smiling and connecting or they clock the steadfastness and solidness of what I’m reflecting, take a few looks but then carry on the behaviour, this time with greater urgency, as if to erase the inconveniently timed revelation they’ve just had. So in answer to your question, yes, non-judgmental understanding, un-imposingly offered as truthful reflection could yet be the greatest gift we could bring to any child – and adult.
“What’s classed as ‘fun’ by many adults is harmful of themselves and others” – this is crazy to realise that we have turned fun essentially into a form of abuse of ourselves. How does this happen? I certainly know it does not happen overnight…To me it seems it is a gradual sliding scale that happens over time. As children we know what is true fun and we know it does not harm ourselves nor another. But then as we step away from our natural way of being (our essence that is naturally tender and in awe of life and other people), in this step away from it, we harden and become numbed out to things and hence we make choices that are not that supportive. As a result we then choose harming activities or things that numb us out even further. And it can take a lot to shake us up to realise what we have done – we need to be shaken out of the numbness. With an increased awareness we can then gradually learn the steps back to our essence and how to have fun in a way that does not ever harm ourselves nor anyone else.
I love how children play when they are in harmony. Their play is spontaneous. Somewhere I forgo this connection in pursuit of approval and impressing someone so everything became laboured and had to be commended. I forgoed the beauty of being impulsed by the universe’s flow for the anxiety and uncertainty of allowing another to judge my worth. Reconnection can be chosen in an instant.
Reading this blog made me really stop and consider what is presented here: if I see someone in a bar drinking lots of alcohol I see this as normal. If I see an adult hanging from a tree I think they are odd. Wow this presents something for me to consider: why do I think it’s ok to drink something that is poisonous for the body but I don’t think it’s ok to swing from a tree which is totally harmless. I think that kids should do that sure. If not adults. But then I can feel how I’ve been part of society that thinks when we grow up we have to be a certain way and not be young and joyful any longer. Great for me to read the blog and consider this and how I can drop this judgement.
I love how you relate the behaviours of children and of ourselves to science and the undertaking of a science experiment. Making even science fun and playful and alive and something each one of us can do for ourselves. What a gorgeous way to learn.
Spot on Jeanette – Dianne has a wonderful way of relating behaviours of children and ourselves to science. And essentially we could say that we are all walking talking science experiments, and that each and every day is a new scientific experience – What Dianne’s gift for us is, is the fact that she can help us re-discover with awe the magic of science in life again…For those of us who did not have a science teacher at school that was able to impart the same appreciation of life and science, Dianne is now here to help with that. And no need to sit on a chair for hours and have to memorise things from a text book – Diane simply helps us connect to nature and the magic that is there for us all to feel and be inspired by.
Without observation we will avoid the honesty and understanding of where we are at in relation to our innate qualities. Thus observing those who can give us a reflection that exposes, highlights and or confirms our innermost being and behaviours that act in contrast to our essence is indeed a science not just worthy but most necessary to practise for the sake of coming back to who we are.
I have recently found some old photos of myself as a small child, and in all of them there is a real cheeky playfulness in my smile, and such a joy in my eyes. What I have realised and appreciated is that this is still very much in me, it is who I am, and I am loving reconnecting with this part of me that for so long I have kept locked away for only a few people to see and feel. Thank you Diane for this blog, it is a wonderful reminder for us all to never forget who we so naturally are.
At my daughter’s birthday party yesterday I was watching the girls and how my husband melted around them, how he confirmed them and expressed his full appreciation of their sweet yumminess. They were beautiful, open, light, playful and simply having fun being them. It was such a blessing to watch and be a part of. It is a human tragedy that we don’t allow ourselves to keep expressing from that sweet yumminess as we grow up but as you are demonstrating – we can return there if we choose!
I love the sense of humour and the honesty of children when they are simply being themselves. We all have this when we are unashamedly ourselves. It’s a play-fullness that is filled with joy . . . the joy of simply being.
“I’ve been watching children playing in groups: in their movements, sounds and all expressions, kids flow like flocks of birds, swirling water, the wind in trees… There is a free rhythm that is in stark contrast to the way an adult’s day usually goes with all its constricted structures and time pressures.” Reading this just reminded me of an occasion when my very young daughter expressed she loved it when we did things ‘impromptu’. I now realise that what she was enjoying and appreciating was us going with the flow (she knew so well), rather than what was usual or planned for that afternoon!
To bring play and humour to people is so inviting, it is delightful when they respond and join in. How lovely that all you meet melt to your silliness Dianne.
Yes, great value in observing life and people. This may not be a double blind, controlled trial but there is a clear pattern of playfulness in children that turns to manipulation to get attention. Adults in turn seen to squash their inner playfulness with a guarded ‘adult’ behaviour. Sounds way too familiar to me! “The neurobiologists state that even a few seconds of experience can ‘hard-wire’ a child’s brain for life. Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?!” I am definitely going to subscribe to that model – we have everything to gain and nothing to lose.
‘ I can feel my inner self flowing along with them and it makes more sense’ – as does your blog Dianne. It feels so empowering and innately joyful when we connect to the natural flow of children – and hence to life – and the Universe.
Dianne i love this so much what a really great sharing of our natural playfulness and joy that we naturally are and the reclaiming of this is absolute and feels so simple and so true. The opening question you pose ” How is it that adult life becomes so serious, so burdened, that we constantly look for ways to numb and escape? TV, chocolate, alcohol, work, sex… somehow never recapturing that joyful flow, wisdom, presence and sensitivity of childhood.” And the harm we do as adults to ourselves in the escape is enormous and so the opposite of all our innate knowing and being ness it hurts to see this and so we do it even more ! wow what a revelation and so inspiring to make loving changes and allow our childlike qualities to be again with the wisdom,true understanding and joy.
I love this ‘very haphazard, poorly controlled experiment by ‘scientific standards’’ The world is our laboratory of life and what a gorgeous reflection our children bring to us all.
And I don’t even see it as haphazard or poorly controlled experiment – it is so perfect in its execution, deliberations and conclusions and 100% understandable to all that read and feel this – just awesome.
I loved reading this article and the double whammy of inspiration and permission to value the light hearted freshness, humour and immediacy of children and animals. Accepting that we all have these qualities in us and can simply step out from under the cloak of imposed expectation of how we ‘should’ behave as adults is the beginning.
Haha…I love this, Dianne. Sometimes all we need is an absolute reflection of how ridiculous we are being, to snap us out of it and come back to ourselves.
‘I ‘get’ the silliness, but have spent much of my life as an extreme introvert. Now it’s silly scientist come-out time.’ – A fabulous choice – you never know, perhaps you will inspire other scientists to come out too…
Dianne, this is absolutely gorgeous, and there is so much there to enjoy and relate to. I can really relate to the young children and how they have absolutely no hang ups and just let you know what they want and when, there is absolutely no guesswork, and you can read them like a book as they are so open. Really great reflectors for us all.
‘I feel no hesitation in smiling and saying…’ This is beautiful to experience that the interaction and connection between us requires no calculation or judgement, that it is always there for us to simply allow.
I can think of no better science than the science of watching children and animals, especially baby ones, as they just naturally reflect and do what they do without asking why. Whilst playing with a baby yesterday I realise such how spontaneous they are, when they are in pain, hungry or want something they just cry and boy do they let you know, and when they feel joy they express it without reservation. Thank you for sharing your science diaries, very inspiring indeed and much to ponder on.
Is growing up the process of pounding a square peg into a round hole? We will fit, but we have to give our edges of who we are to fit in! Or, we can just see the world as a bigger place and keep all of who we are and never lose our inner child!
Sometimes I act like an affected child. . . I spit the dummy and go off on a childish outrage . . . and I always note when I do, but when I am childlike in my openness and playful and spontaneous I am not as quick to note that. The interesting thing is the speed I move to self criticism but this blog has me realise that I am not so quick with the appreciation. Love your observations Dianne.
Good point, Kathleen. It is important to re-claim our childlike joy of life and wonder at the world, and value it as an expression of our natural connection to the all.
I love your clarity between ‘childish’ and childlike’. The difference is huge and very important to notice.
So true Kathleen- it is amazing how we quick we are in ‘bashing’ and in contrast how very slow we can be in appreciation – especially ourselves…
I love playful, silly fun, at these times I know I’m absolutely living the truth of who I truly am in the moment, that I’m connected to my essence and not living subject to my surrounds. The more this happens the more confirmation that I’m being and living all of me, and sharing this everyone, anyone or myself.
I find that too Sandra, when I am connected to my essence all doubt goes out of the window and I feel playful, joyous and content, and when I am dis-connected I am serious and if I allow it, sink into the doldrums which doesn’t help anyone, least of all me.
‘Kids find humour in the silliest, simplest things, run with it unashamedly, share it with others who also resonate with it, until everyone is in peals of laughter. Then, unattached, they suddenly let go and move on when the feeling has run its course. Like those flocks of birds, they are in synchrony with something invisible flowing through every moment…Love this Dianne – the flow of life and relationship.
Me too, and I remember from when I was a child, at family gatherings we all could do this within the family as well, and can still do this sometimes today too, it is not lost.
‘Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.’ – The riches of life are in the way we observe and appreciate every little detail offered to us and not skim over them on our way to a ‘goal’.
This amazingly rich experiment teaches the world about the science of observation and its power to understand when do we start to lose it and become what we become?
And such a simple science to boot, right? I love the experiences Dianne shares as they are so easy to feel and connect to and with that comes the knowing that we also have all that too at our disposal.
Thank you, Dianne. It is so inspiring to read and remember what it’s like to ‘risk all’ and bring all of you into relationships, to experiment, play and interact with the world with a sense of childlike wonder that never leaves us.
So true Janet, as we remember it we realise we have a choice again – this blog could be the brain ‘hard-wire’ re-wiring we have so desperately needed but forgotten we missed!
Yes so true, and as an adult also we can learn that when that joy and wonder is not reflected back, to not take it personally and make it mean something it is not but understand that the other has maybe not arrived at a point of trust in expression. So our continued reflection will go a long way in igniting other ‘particles’ to respond in kind.
How lost we have become when we equate joy with self-abuse and patterns of behaviour that do not support us but rather take us far from who we are. A child’s Joy is simple to behold and a constant reflection calling us back to the connection we each naturally have to God, our inner-most Truth and the Universe.
What an amazing science could come from simply observing and learning from children – effectively from ourselves before we choose to make choices to deviate from our natural way of being.
If I remember back as a child things meant less. It’s not that they were less significant but you didn’t place a huge importance on x and less on y and none on z, it was all pretty similar. The most important thing was the moment, the sky could be falling in one moment only to be blue sky and sunny the next. You didn’t seem to carry things from one moment to the next either, all was let go in an instant. It would seem the world wasn’t geared for this type of living, it didn’t fit. So to fit to the world it was either change or be alone in some way. It was like the world pounded you or moulded you to fit within a structure, it wanted you a certain way and as you grew you fitted more and more into that mould. Whether it was nice guy, bad guy, determined guy or aloof guy there was something for everyone. I wonder if the world did or started to truly support children to be who they are naturally, what would the adults look like and how would they act? It’s possible they would just reflect the children and how they are, able to be flexible and tell you truly how things are in any moment.
A puppy wagging its entire body is a wonderful example of expressing joy with every particle in the body.
I love how you observe life Dianne and feel that to be the true approach to science, with wonderment instead of preconceived ideas of what the outcome should be or we want it to be.
Me too Judith, and the way Dianne shares and writes makes it so easy for all of us to start observing in this way too.
We’ve just started this thing in our family where we all offer each other a small and simple “stepping stone” of evolution. It’s amazing what my kids have offered me; such wisdom, insight and playfulness – they come at things from glorious angles. “Dad, on the way home you should watch the stars for five minutes”
It is crazy how we in effect teach children that they must be prepared for abuse when they get older, and that self abuse, self critizism and seriousness in fact is the norm – as opposed to encourage them to honour their innocence and natural joy.
As a parent I can vouch for the fact that the greatest gift we can give children is a non-imposing, non-judgemental reflection of love and beholding so they keep reconnecting to who they are.
The ability to communicate and relate with each other with the purity and natural openness of children is a blessing in and for the world.
What a wonderful example about the puppies greeting everyone from their whole body-tail-wagging, leaving no doubt as to there openess to all people and life equally-so, holding back nothing in their full expression of joy of simply being in a similar way to a young child, before becoming wary and self-protective through life.
“The puppy is wagging his whole body, eyes looking into mine”
It is amazing to see how most children have no filters when they speak, they do not measure what they can say or not say, it just pours out in free flow. There is something very liberating in this way of expressing that opens for magic – however as adult we often override this opportunity by responding in an ‘adult’ and ‘I know better’ way and the moment of magic is lost.
Couldn’t but be reminded here of grabbing someone’s hand at a celebration party one night a few years ago, thinking it was my husband’s hand… I held that hand just as I would hold my husband’s and it felt so known and familiar… When I eventually turned to the person, it was a woman – a lady I knew, and instantly recognised as having the deepest familiarity with. We still have ‘fond memories’ of this ‘event’ to this day!
What if we are all actually ‘wired’ this way as you suggest Dianne – naturally understanding and knowing of our interconnection, of the love that can be equally there with all, if we but give it a chance? The physicality – of the clear difference between this lady’s hand and my husband’s had mattered nought to me when this occurred.
It is incredible, when we really stop and think about it, what we consider to be a ‘good weekend’ or even a ‘good night out’. Is it a measure of how wrecked our bodies feel the next day, whether its from over eating, too much alcohol or other substances, a one night stand that kept you awake most of the night, or from a big meal that was far too rich and far too much? Or by contrast, is it how steady and gorgeous we feel because we didn’t abuse our body in any of these or other ways, but actually honoured what it needed in any given moment? Definately something to ponder on.
There is something about being a child that is in knowing of who we are and from this foundation, we feel more free to be play-full, more expressive and have ‘nothing to lose’. Growing up in our current societies, seems to mean we lose our connection to that sense of self and start to seek it in the recognition and acceptance of other people. It is losing the confidence we garner from that certainty of self. Yet, we can reconnect to the awareness of our true being-ness and start to allow the play-full-ness back into our lives. My feeling is this is the root of being able to let go and express ourselves with joy once again. There is some hard work to be done maybe, but isn’t a more joy-full life worth it?
Your blog makes me realise Dianne that we march into adulthood thinking that growing up means renouncing the child, as opposed to refining the child, so that we retain our connection with that spontaneous innocence and openness that flows so easily when we are young and allow it to flourish as we mature.
On the subject of silliness and observing this in life: With the passage of time and with that a lack of silly-ness, I find that eventually it has to come bursting out, with all barriers down and everyone enjoying being together again. Silliness is like a flow of water, it can be barricaded and withheld, but never stopped – it is at the centre of who we are.
‘How is it that adult life becomes so serious, so burdened, that we constantly look for ways to numb and escape?’ I realised after hearing about a presentation from Serge Benhayon that I have held the belief that there is an element of seriousness in being responsible when in actual fact the opposite is true – there is no seriousness on being responsible. Being truly responsible includes being light, joyful and playful, just as are children and our true nature.
Yes what does happen between the joy and freedom of childhood and the seriousness of adult life? I am sure that we all have our own individual stories but behind them all will most probably be the back story of a child who has had their honest expression and their natural and spontaneous love of life somehow dampened down, and maybe totally buried altogether; and it doesn’t have to be a huge traumatic event for this to occur for as you say: “neurobiologists state that even a few seconds of experience can ‘hard-wire’ a child’s brain for life”. So let’s allow ourselves to connect to those beautiful children around us, listen to them, laugh with them and let them show us how to be the delightful child that they naturally are, that we were too, and still can be.
I had a conversation with a small child the other day, and we had a why moment. We have all experienced the one question that every answer, they respond with why! Is this a reflection for us, that we are dumbing down our answers and not providing the information they are looking for?
Absolutely Diane we spend so long moaning and pointing out all that is broken and wrong but do we study what is right? Why don’t we make those who experience and know joy every day our chief subjects in life? Perhaps this whole addiction to what is wrong is a chief part of what is ill with so many of us ‘grown-ups’.
These are great observations, Dianne. I have made similar experiences with children and I often feel joyful observing their very direct and naked behaviour, especially the very young ones.
But also I am stunned how much I can see the adult, sometimes wise, sometimes manipulative person in them, as you have described here.
Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood? It should not be the case and simply shows us how far we move away from our natural way of being as we get older.
The innocence and playfulness of a child are divine qualities that we should never lose.
I love your observations here Dianne, all very pertinant with a beautiful awareness and willingness to see the bigger picture that is at play. How much more joyful we would all be if we approached life in this way, and saw every interaction that we had, whoever we were with, as an opportunity to offer something more to that person. Very inspiring.
I love these observations and the reflection of what was seen. Supermarkets are great for these. I remember an older sibling winding up the younger sibling so the busy mum would reprimand the younger child. The older one seemed to enjoy having this control without the mother’s awareness which only upset the younger one more. I made contact with the older one and they knew they’d been rumbled. Just slight expressions and they stopped this, or at least every time they passed me in the aisle. What reflections we can bring and receive to support our connection with each other.
Dianne your gorgeous example of opening up a conversation with a young girl who was wearing the same beanie as you was delightful. I am initiating conversations with strangers when I feel that there is a chance for one. It is a sad reflection of how insular we have become, that I can feel people’s initial suspicion and hesitation. The truth is that if you were to stick the lot of us in a pot and boil us down, we would all be reduced down to One, One energy, One God, call it what you will but the fact of the matter is that deep, deep down we are all basically made from the One life and so what a tragedy that we are all so deeply embroiled in the illusion of separation.
I love situation number 4 where you find how being in ‘scientist mode’ allowed you to notice, and take what you noticed, a step further. This goes to show it pays to stay open to clocking what’s going on around us and remaining in observer mode (rather than dismissing it with the most likely explanation)!
I like your two examples of mirroring and how it supported the children refine their own behaviour without you having to instruct them. The most powerful learning is through being empowered to join the dots yourself and deepen your awareness and understanding. And you did this so beautifully.
‘It’s clear that something happened to me between then and adulthood.’ We call this life, but if ‘life’ takes us further away from who we are, then we are not truly living.
A very good friend of mine told me once That I was at my best presenting when I was being silly… we have taken on so much seriousness… I do love that saying… Angels take themselves lightly.
Observing how freely children move from one moment to the next gives us an honest reflection of how far away from this we have become.
Puppies and many dogs I’ve met (and people too!) do remind me of “..just pure openness, love, acceptance and joy. It is connection with no judgment.” – it reminds me that that is our most natural way, unconditional love, not that we can’t be discerning of other people but we don’t need to judge or carry around our past hurts and tar every relationship with it.
Most children are very capable of observing life and enjoying being part of life at the same time. If I was asked in how many ways I am like a child, I would answer that there’s unfortunately quite some ways in which I want to be as a kid, but in truth have I separated from life and chose substitutes. Such as fun or happiness instead of joy. Safety over true harmony. Etc. How important is it to express ourselves naturally. It is natural! And only when it got interfered with, we loose ourselves. Which leads later on in not feeling ourselves which leads to all kind of different problems, such as lack of confidence, abuse – verbal and physical, bullying, contracting away from life, depletion, exhaustion etc.
Dianne with your sharing about the kids dropping by ‘they express all of themselves, as they are, with no holding back’, it is in stark contrast to how we are as adults. We behave as if we’re looking out of the arrow slits in the wall of a castle, the reason being that we have all been hurt before and so are constantly trying to avoid being hurt again. Most children are living without hurt and therefore still happy to reveal all of themselves. The key therefore is to deal with our hurts and return to the gay abandon of being a kid.
It feels sad to know that adults see fun as being for children and seriousness is for grown ups – fun and silliness can be for everybody – we can have joy and laughter at any age!
By nature, we grow older, but who ever said we had to grow up and lose the child that is always within?
It is sad Carmel, not only to stifle our own fun and silliness but then get annoyed at others (children included) for being what we then judge as being childish.
Love this whole blog and your conclusions Dianne. The way you have simply been open to observing children of all ages way of being and them being able to feel safe enough to be free to just be themselves with or around you. What better scientific study can there be than through observation. Totally agree that “Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being”.
Dianne, your blog demonstrates how powerful observation can be when we do not filter what we see with judgment or expectation. As you say this ‘may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.’
We are all children at heart, in the sense that our joyous playfulness, innocence and trust is always there, but it gets covered by a veneer dictated by our ideals and beliefs which mould us in the image of someone we think we should be. This complicates our natural simplicity and adulthood is often spent in pursuit of the joy and harmony we once knew. We get lost by seeking it on the outside when all along it is within us.
The openness and pure joy of most children is a vital reminder of how naturally geared we are to received the communication the universe has to offer us and to respond accordingly – responsiveness vs reaction is what I feel in your sharing Dianne. Thank you again!
I have noticed the more I claim who I am, the more childlike, honest and very funny my expression becomes.
True Joy is a powerful reflection we can bring, and can heal far more that we realise at times.
I love it when kids talk – sometimes they just so casually come out with such gems, with all the innocence and joy and openness that they are, in reflection that we don’t have to be any different as adults simply because we have ‘grown up’
Absolutely – our divine qualities are not limited to age for they were with us from the beginning of time, and so to remain always.
I love your observations Dianne, so much more interesting than the usual scientific experiments you hear about. When you bring your own experience based on everyday life it makes it more real and understandable and accessible for everyone.
“they express all of themselves, as they are, with no holding back. I feel I want to be like that. What stops me?” Great question Dianne. I wonder how many adults ask themselves this question when they observe this gorgeous quality in children of expressing in full – so carefree and full of joy.
I love the feeling of returning to being like a child again, it brings so much joy back into our lives when we can let go of the pictures of what an adult behaves like. We can laugh and have fun over the silliest things when we don’t have to pretend to be serious and grown up. There is so much wisdom here Dianne, you are an inspiration.
The arrogance of how we encourage children to “grow up” and become like adults; yet rarely consider the fact that they can inspire so much in us. Maybe it is because we feel the pain of what they reflect in us that we are so keen for them to “grow up” – so that they stop the reflecting?
This says a lot ottobathurst… To what degree do we intentionally shut down our children’s natural exuberance, playfulness, amazing wisdom and joy (as seen in many, many children when young), because we ourselves can’t bear to see what we may have stepped away from?
It’s horrible to consider. One thing to walk away from joy in our own lives…quite another to pull others with us. A stark exposure of our responsibility. If we embrace these revelations, accept them without judgement, then we can all evolve together. And that is another place I am learning from children – I can be so hard on myself, so judgemental, so exacting…if kids are allowed to get it wrong, then so am I.
Good point Otto. I can remember being crushed by an adult telling me to grow up when I was being harmlessly playful with my younger sister . . .we were simply spontaneously laughing about absolutely nothing . . . I would have been 7 at the time and she would have been 5. We were not even saying or doing anything but looking at each other and laughing. I was devastated at the time.
Oh Gosh. This makes me flinch Kathleen, because I have certainly done that to my kids, when I’ve been in an “adult” state of tension. “But Dad, we were just having fun!”
Beautifully said, and lived, ottobathurst. One can’t but feel the integrity in your words…
Another thing children do is walk all over the shop they don’t walk in a straight line and they don’t just walk, they skip, jump, swirve, stop to observe something, anything. I have to confess to being irritated by this and had been heard saying ‘just walk properly!’ And huffing in frustration at this ‘delay’. But rather once I clocked why it was irritating me that my daughter was reflecting how at ease in her body she was and playful and that I simply had shut that down in order to get things ‘done’. I was able to relax, allow more time to walk and enjoy this way children are in their bodies, I am yet to skip but just maybe that’s around the corner.
‘Something in them answers questions in us, even if we don’t know we’re asking.’ this is beautiful – a reminder of what we may have forgotten we once were and truly are within.
I love to observe children playing together but I never seemed to question what is was about it that I loved until now. What stands out is harmony and the way in which they do their own thing within a group yet they remain connected to themselves and to one another. Gosh I love this and see how I struggle with this in my own life. I have much to let go of the behaviour of thinking and putting others needs before mine but I am certainly becoming more aware of when this happens and on the odd occasion I have thought about myself lovingly in a situation and spoke up but it does remain work in progress especially within my family.
Observing the natural joy of children and puppy’s gives a moment of reflection to ponder where we lost ours!
True Steve, something to deeply ponder.
One thing I see more commonly in children than adults is how they really commit to and prioritise their expression. For a child it could me everything to make sure there is a blue squiggle on the corner of the page they are colouring in or that they are wearing the clothes they feel to each day. It is these finer details that keep our relationship with ourselves alive.
Abby that is beautiful as it reminds me of the magic in the details, the importance in them and the fact as adults we simply let go of that commitment and expression which is naturally there.
And it is beautiful when we are valuing everything we do during the day as well even as adults – it makes sense when children value the blue squiggle because they can feel in their body the difference.
I love this – “Then, unattached, they suddenly let go and move on when the feeling has run its course.” – That is also when young children are upset and have a screaming session or some such, and all of a sudden it is as if it never has been, gone from one moment to the next. Great explanation ‘when the feeling has run its course’! So true and as adults we hang on and on and on sometimes for decades – how ‘silly’ is that when we could just feel it, acknowledge it, express it and let it go.
Your heading ‘Doing vs Being’ – is so pertinent for all areas in our life. If we can approach everything we do with all that we are, that our actions and communications etc are being done with all of us in the picture, then the ‘being’ is just a natural way in our ‘doings’ 🙂
I truly feel this too – “doing ‘adult things’ without the sense of burden, seriousness and mechanical disconnection. Doing things within the flow and connection of the whole.” How can we not do things with connection to the whole, as we are part of the whole. Being part of the whole one would assume we would be totally connected and we are, yet often maybe choose to not feel this and then act and behave in ways which do not add to the evolution of the whole.
“This is a very haphazard, poorly controlled experiment by ‘scientific standards’, ” – This may be so but what great insights and conclusions to be drawn – so alive – beats any old ‘scientific’ standard!
And maybe shows us another of our adult mistakes, that we can only believe something when it has been randomised, controlled and trialled within an inch of its life.
Could it also be, the observation of life without a list of required and or expected outcomes, are standards that will never fit into a box?
Oh I love this Dianne – “I do have a very playful, silly ‘streak’ and don’t mind looking ‘childish’ in public if I’m having harmless fun, like doing slippery-shoe slides along the shopping mall floor, or hanging out of a nice tree.” – Me too, and when I do my son loves this too as we are so alike. It is something where we can be totally free of ‘social constraints’ 🙂
“I ‘get’ the silliness, but have spent much of my life as an extreme introvert. Now it’s silly scientist come-out time. Now I ‘risk all’ and relate to people, even strangers, in the streets and shops and serious places and on the phone. I love to play silly with people… anyone” – ha ha Diane, me too, and I love your silliness, even when you’re presenting on stage about the marvels and complexity of science with such simplicity and wonder. It is the wonder I find that generates the silliness….What would we do without wonder??!
I love the way that you relate to your observations as scientific experiments, whether they fulfill the ‘scientific standards’ or not. Studying and discovering things should be just as relevant to life, just as playful and just as accessible as you have made it to be. Thank you.
‘Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?’ I never considered this before Dianne but it is true. As adults we reject the simple and healthy in favour of complicated and harmful yet constantly are being reflected the joy, lightness of being and harmony in motion that children bring through their ‘simple and healthy’ ways.
Reading your beautiful blog inspires me to re-connect to my inner-child, but also pulls me up as a parent. Instead of getting caught up in emotional child-parent games, why am I not constantly providing a “non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection.” Thank you Dianne.
Plan for today, remain open to all, be like a child, like a puppy, innocent and enquiring. Be with each person, even though it might be someone you know well, as though for the first time. Ask questions, share yourself freely, be silly in a good way, allow joy and lightness. Connect, connect, connect.
“How is it that adult life becomes so serious, so burdened, that we constantly look for ways to numb and escape? TV, chocolate, alcohol, work, sex… somehow never recapturing that joyful flow, wisdom, presence and sensitivity of childhood.” – This is what I have always loved about the Esoteric Modalities – they help us to come back to moving and expressing with the freedom we used to have as young children!
As children we all know love and joy, and what we now need to learn as adults is to re-connect to that knowing, and make it our every-day.
Only connecting to what here’s been shared makes me allready re-connect to the innate joy and lightness that is within me. How empowering can these little sharings about our daily experiences be? I love reading about children and the observations adults have. In many ways, they are the same ‘being’ as adults with the same behaviours. In all circumstances. In joyful ones as well as in emotional ones. No different as adults, only we look different to them. If we would observe them – just like in this blog – we would find that we’re pretty much the same. Welcome to the school for everyone: L I F E!
Being open to everyone we meet – how often do we give a perfunctory ‘Hello’ or a grunt as we pass by, and not really engage our hearts? Some people will avoid saying hello back but that’s ok, at other times we can make full eye contact and make a beautiful connection that feels warm inside.
Dianne, you have such an amazing way to capture the essence of what you experience and observe all around you.
Oh yes I so agree Eva, doesn’t she just? I love reading and listening to Dianne’s observations as they are taken from every day situations and always include her experience within the topic she shares.
I recon there is a science to observation too. Observing people and situations unlocks our wisdom.
Very true Abby, observation and awareness is key to keep us interconnected.
Great blog Dianne! I agree paying attention and making intentional observations of ourselves and others can grow our understanding and appreciation of life itself and all it has to offer and lead us to a more natural socialised way of being.
Since encountering the Ageless Wisdom, attending the Universal Medicine workshops and receiving Esoteric Healing my ‘puppy’ is slowly coming out from behind the sofa and the more I do so the greater my confidence grows to wag and play.
Everything in this world reflects to us who we really are. Learning to read, appreciate and accept these reflections without judgment is such an exciting science to explore. There is so much wonder to share, discover and reclaim, sitting quietly within us waiting to be seen.
I love those moments when you see a child throwing a tantrum and you can see that they are being very purposfully naughty or loud, and its in those moments you realise that babies and children are not stupid, but in fact very aware of how to manipluate those around them.
This is great how your non imposing mirroring to the young boy of his behaviour he got to see and feel how he was being and then chose to change that for himself reconnecting with his mother.
A beautiful point Susan. Children do offer us a reminder, a coming back to something we know feeling and the answers to those questions we may not know we as adults are asking. Because children mostly are unimposing and generally so open without guards, it is easier for many adults to accept the reflection they offer.
I love what we can learn from children. They are such beautiful reflections for us to reconnect with what we have lost. To bring that innocence and openness to life is so refreshing and lovely. It’s what the world needs.
There is so much to observe in life and it is a great study to consider not only the discrepancy between childhood and adulthood, simplicity and complication, trust versus distrust, love and joy versus roles and abuse but how we are allowing this to happen to each of us, why most are prepared to shelve their true divine expression and adorn a very uncomfortable, conformity and picture of a poor quality and disturbing resolution.
It absolutely is ‘sad’ what we consider to be a ‘fun weekend’ or night out, and that the evidence for this is the level to which we are smashed and our bodies wrecked. If we wouldn’t take our own children out and do everything we do to ourselves to them; tell them to drink countless glasses and glasses of alcohol, maybe give them drugs, watch them get wasted and then leave them alone in a pub, then how can we in any way shape or form claim to be a ‘positive role model’ or ‘parent’?
Over time it appears that our definition of a good weekend has become anything that achieves our desired aims rather than of a weekend of the natural joy of our expression. So therefore being able to check out, override, numb or avoid what we feel have become a ‘good weekend’; being able to forget the week, have some relief or time away almost seem to have become the purpose of the weekend itself rather than the quality of every day being lived in the same way.
“Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.” what a great point Dianne if we don’t pay attention, clock, observe and then feel what is true for us we are caught in a pattern of movements that take us away from the truth of the playful/joyful child we.
Well said MA – paying attention and observing, reading is so important to connect to the real truth of what we are being presented with in any given moment.
Love reading your playful observations of children’s qualities and behaviours, as a mother of three children i am constantly being called to scrap any expectations or pictures, and the more i give myself permission to break out of these moulds the more i get a sense of the magic being offered by our equality, the friendship and learning that we can share together is a joy.
The day we moved into our new house I sat on the couch and the doorbell rang. I looked through the curtain and it was a little girl who had been playing on the street. I didn’t answer the door because it was only a kid and I was tired but she went round the side of the house and came in through the open back door with her hand extended to shake mine and welcome me to the street. I was so touched by her openness in this day and age and I will never not open the door to anyone again like I did that day.
Wonderful joyful and silly Diane I had so much joy to read your amazing blog. It is an eye opener to what degree adults had given up being who they truly are and very shocking at what age this giving up starts. Therefore I really appreciate what you have shared: “Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?!” For me this seems to be a very practical and loving way to offer each other the reflection how to re-connect to the child we all still are.
Looking at children is great, especially if we learn to live that naturalness ourselves, which is entirely possible, in fact it is easier to live that way.
I love the story of the child holding your hand. It’s so beautiful that when we are connected we all hold the same energy, that is of love and that is what this child felt from you.
Yes very beautiful indeed, and so we know again that everything is felt first before it is ‘known’.
‘Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?’ This captures everything in terms of the abuse we choose to fill and pollute our lives with.
“Kids find humour in the silliest, simplest things, run with it unashamedly, share it with others who also resonate with it, until everyone is in peals of laughter.” What gift they offer the world reminding us all we as adults are not so serious too.
So true Rik, and I find for myself I can still do this, especially with my now grown kids – we have maintained this unrestrained laughter no matter where we are – it just takes a connected look and there we are, peals of laughter, streaming eyes – I love it and so do they.
“Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?” It’s a huge revelation you have observed Dianne and it’s in our face for all of us to see – why are we not ‘being’ the scientists we all are and observing the truths right in front of us via our very own generation underneath us?
I still notice that how I am with another can be deeply affected by their own manner. If someone looks gloomy or angry it does affect how I am with them. Yet I have also become aware that I can be with someone who delights in my company but does not show it at the time. There is a responsibility to be loving and caring for everyone and I am learning more and more not to hold anyone to ransom for how they appear, that every meeting may offer them support to trust and feel loved, and to offer that to another is a beautiful things to give of oneself.
“I feel there is a science to observing and tracing the inner and outer incongruities, assisted by watching children (and animals), and relating what is seen to our adult selves” – certainly Diane, i know this and recall a time when i felt a pressure building inside me before speaking on a stage in front of a large audience, and whilst waiting, found my gaze rest upon a baby whose quality of stillness, ease, soft gentleness was restoring, and held me steady, i would even say their quality gave me perspective and in this confidence the more i kept on looking at the child, feeling their internal harmony, unaffected by what else was going on in the 300 or so people that were there. Observation. So silently powerful.
As I read through this amazing blog which brings science and playfulness into life I knew it was you Diane who wrote it. Always loving the divine flavour you bring to humanity.
I’ve witnessed many people comparing stories about how abusive they have been to themselves, particularly on a Monday morning, after the weekend, I’ve even done it myself. I wonder if the ‘competition’ to have the most extreme story isn’t so much a desire to be seen to be cool, but a reaction. There is recognition somewhere deep inside that we are hurting ourselves and rather than feel that hurt and take responsibility for it, we block it out and instead make it into something that it’s not, in fact the complete opposite of what it truly is. We twist the hurt into being cool.
‘Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?’ – great question Dianne and a very exposing one too. It shows we know the truth, we know how we should be living as this is the way we raise our children. We have double standards, we raise our treasured bundles of joy with an abundance of love, making loving choices on their behalf, choices that we are often not making for ourselves. It’s as though we allow life to take us away from our gorgeous selves and we lose connection with the absolute joy we felt as children, when felt loved, but more importantly we treasured ourselves first, it was natural to us to do so. Consequently, as adults there is often a void, an emptiness that is felt, so we do things to take away the feeling of loss, eat, drink, drugs, exercise …. yet we could simply choose to re-connect, to come back to the joy-full child within.
I’ve just spent the day with someone who engages in childish humour and its so refreshing.
Awesome to appreciate the reflection of not holding back in puppies ‘wagging their whole body’ and expressing with every part of themselves. This also feels like surrendering to the joy that is there to express.
I love the ‘mirroring part 2′ example you give of the boy who learned from your reflection of him. How gorgeous of his mother to be graceful with him in response too, everyone felt the difference of the encounter. This shows how we can make a difference everywhere we go, wherever we are, in any situation.
Woof! Woof! or Ruff! Ruff! Being happy or being joy-full! No mucking around, I can feel how amazing it is to feel the joy in my body that is lasting and not momentary like I was when I would say I felt happy. Happy would always pass away, so at best it was momentary and my childhood joy that I now feel has returned and seems to be end-less!
I love this blog and the way that you write Dianne. The questioning way you approached this whole experience is beautifully childlike in itself. For kids never settle for surface appearances either, but want to know why, how the world is the way that it is. Today I feel how this curiosity and wonder unlocks us from the fear and concepts we have about what is wrong in our eyes. These ideas might be familiar and comforting but what if they are not true at all? These ‘what ifs’ bring back joy and possibility to the world.
Dianne what you share about puppies greeting everyone ‘in connection and no judgement’ is both true and inspiring. Not only that,but it’s in stark contrast to how people generally greet each other, which often tends to be in reservation, suspicion, judgement, reaction or comparison. I am going to see if I can greet all others as if I was a puppy (without the face licking)!
To feel safe to simply express everything that we hold inside, how different would life be? To express our joy, our sadness, our playfulness, our care, our love, just naturally everything. That would save a lot of aggression, abuse and fights. I’ve discovered that the hardness in any way, shape or form is always there to protect the vulnerability that is underneath. Children allow themselves much more to express freely in which they don’t build up so much hardness and in fact actually build on love. Wow! Are we up to start living this way again?
And to feel totally free in our bodies to express all that was there would be amazing as a society. The bubbling joy would propel more joy.
Being silly is the highlight of my day!
I love the way you provided a still reflection for the children in your stories. They do know what they’re doing and they do know better. Your reflection gave them a choice.
Yes this was a great part of the blog where Diane could see the tactics being used by the little child.
How do children do things? It is a great question. I am blessed that I work with them every day and get to see their natural curiosity, playfulness, love of life and taking everything in the moment. It’s great being daft with them and being around their more up-front honesty. They tend to say things how they are.
They just do it don’t they, no thinking, calculating or calibrating just action from their naturally moving bodies.
Yes, completely Johanna. They are in the moment, responding to what they feel right in front of them.
My feeling is that many adults are ‘sad’ because they have lost that beautiful and natural joyful way of being, they are so pushed down into fitting boxes of how society or their colleagues think they should be there is no room for being totally yourself and playing. When you come across people who absolutely love the work that they do, the quality of everything they produce brings a smile to your face. For them work is play.
I love the way you have been truly observing people, situations and yourself in life in different settings and scenarios – the presence and attentiveness that’s there without any judgement just an openness to learn and to deepen the love that you share with all those you meet.
I was moved with the depth of sensitivity and understanding you expressed when sharing about your interaction with the 10 year old boy who had a tendency to display cruel behavior. That you could see through the surface and read the situation when he was avoiding your gaze and was instead focusing on a task, seeing that he was trying hard to manage his behavior the best he could and this was actually him being open and caring with you as far as he felt able – it brought tears of joy, appreciation and an unexpected longing in me. I noticed how this level of love and understanding is rarely expressed when we disapprove of someone’s actions, even that of our own. Thank you. There is a profound lesson in this example alone.
This blog just shows how when we open ourselves up to exploring more deeply a human issue or cunundrum suddenly we are given all the experiences and reflections we require to grow and learn. Such is multidimensionality – universal wisdom.
It is amazing the reflections we can have, when we just bother to stop for a moment and observe what is going on all around us.
I love your blog Dianne and will read it again, also the comments. I wonder why it is and when it was that some of us became so ‘serious’ after all I feel it is definitely not our natural way.
Reminds me on a line in a song from Heaven’s Joy: ‘Nothing in-between – a love unseen’. The affection of a dog is unlimited and paired with total openness. And the innocence of children shown in relationships and meetings is something we all more or less have given up on and longing for deeply so to get it back.
It is ironic that we drop the aspects of childhood that we should keep, and in many ways hold onto the aspects of childhood that we should drop. What do I mean? As adults we often still carry on like a petulant child by way of reaction to things we don’t like, but we have let go of the wonder and joy and innocence that every child emanates, much to our own loss.
Very true Adam, and often don’t let go of being the dependent child that wants others to do it for us.
‘Kids find humour in the silliest, simplest things, run with it unashamedly, share it with others who also resonate with it, until everyone is in peals of laughter. Then, unattached, they suddenly let go and move on when the feeling has run its course. Like those flocks of birds, they are in synchrony with something invisible flowing through every moment…’ Beautiful Dianne and I love this example with flocks of birds, children are not attached but go with the flow, and that is something that is still there in our grown up bodies when we let go of the seriousness we took on early in our lives. Amazing observations, thank you!
I understand your recognition that in adulthood there is not the openness and spontaneity you witnessed in the two little neighbours who came chatting to you, but what struck me was there has to be that same openness in you also that allowed that reflection, and importantly, allowed the little children to easily express themselves to you in this way.
‘they express all of themselves, as they are, with no holding back. I feel I want to be like that. What stops me?’ I adore the naturalness of children – it is so totally gorgeous to be around. Learning to let go and express what I am feeling in the moment without fear of reaction is still an unfolding process however..
I thoroughly enjoy my grandchildren for the very reasons you note here, they are constantly offering us a mirror too, a wonderful way to learn about ourselves and recognise that that part of us never left.
I feel I would like to read this over again, so much here to enjoy and ponder on. I love being silly and playful and, as you say Diane, things flow that way. Seriousness and gravity have dogged me (hang on, dogs aren’t too serious!) in adult years however aware of it and clocking it now so its great to be lightening up. So much to be learnt for sure observing kids.
Gosh Dianne reading your blog and understanding how the system, this framework of ideals is held so deeply within the body is alarming. My three children have just gone back to school, i have observed from day one how hard it is for them to get up in the morning, yet in the days immediately before they would leap out of bed early and energised. Could it be that they feel the weight of this giant package of ideals and beliefs?
I can relate to standing on the sidelines, wanting desperately to join in as I observe kids having fun and being silly. The serious adult in me forbids it, but that’s probably one of the reasons I love watching kids. I get to have some fun simply by watching them. I envy adults who still have that playful quality and its something I have been allowing out recently.
Children who don’t hold back are an awesome reflection that we can all express from our essence without the filters.
Reading number six reminded me of when I was fifteen years old and was baby sitting two babies, one was about 5 months old and the other 6 months old, and both were propped up against pillows – they could just about sit and were playing with toys. To my surprise one wanted the others toy and leaned over and grabbed it, and the other one started to cry, now these were babies who could barely sit up let alone lean over and snatch a toy. What struck me was how young they were to start having ideas to get what they want and to just take it.
Dianne – I feel we can learn a lot by observing how open kids are – this goes a long way in them just being who they are. I love the example of the clown at a party; how we’ve got to the stage where we have to hire someone to play a role to have fun with the kids when in truth we know exactly how to relate to them ourselves, it is just that we have put up the barriers. i know that I resist being as playful and as full of joy as I naturally am. And this hurts as I am holding back who I am and what is there to share for others.
Dianne, such a wise and detailed article about child- and aduldhood, which invites deeply to ponder on. Thank you.
Two small, adorable, cuddly white poodles live opposite our apartment block, their playfulness and gentleness a delight to observe each day, Recently, I waked into our building to find them inside. Both ran to greet me, tails wagging joyfully, eyes shining bright, connecting with me, no inhibitions at all, no judgement, only love. What a powerful reflection. Thank you Dianne.
One thing I have noticed about babies is how much they really look at someone, with every cell of their being they look and engage. It’s quite something.
“It’s the same with puppies being led along the beaches and roads – big, waggy hellos with no fear, no questions, just pure openness, love, acceptance and joy.” How amazing it would be to restore that open-hearted pleasure of greeting another fellow being, so that a stranger is not someone to be avoided but a person to welcomed with warmth and enthusiasm. It’s not about rushing up and embracing people, but communicating a respectful interest and connection via the quality of our body language. We all love being met in this way, complete acceptance with no strings attached.
I had a gorgeous reflection to keep life light and playful today while out at a restaurant for lunch. I was having a very busy work day and was getting quite serious and bogged down in what I still had to complete by the end of the day. A 4 year old girl sitting behind us started to play a game of popping her head over the chair to look at us, after a while I asked her how her lunch was and we started chatting. Poof like that, stress and worry was gone and life was brought back into perspective. I could feel how by connecting with another that I couldn’t keep carrying the stuff I was and affect her or continue to affect myself. In the end she asked her Mummy if the rest of her family could meet me one day and she gave me a big hug. Beautiful confirmation of the absolute preciousness and naturally joyful way we can all come back to at any moment.
Beautiful observations Dianne, we could do a lot worse than taking ourselves far less seriously and open ourselves back up to the love we were before the inevitable shut down that happens to most of us. Its great to open back up, but it would be even greater if we didn’t have to shut down in the first place.
When we lose touch with nature and as you have said the universal flow of life, are we not in full separation from the essence that we all are?
The playfulness that i know i had as a child is still in me as it surfaces sometimes and it is actually a joy to be in. I do understand that the burden I have made adult life to be is withholding me from going there more often, so I do now understand that there is work to do for me and to make space for that playfulness to be more prominent in my life as this is so much more honouring to who I naturally am.
We have constructed our lives around our escape routes, eating, entertainment, sex, work, study. What would life look like if we pulled the plug on all the ways that we choose to escape? of course we couldn’t go cold turkey like that as it would send most people into absolute turmoil but hail the day when we naturally over many, many lifetimes return to a life that is true, a life where every-thing that exists, exists to deepen us back into the fold of life, as opposed to catapulting us out!
Dianne I feel that you have actually summed life for most adults up perfectly with this line ‘ How is it that adult life becomes so serious, so burdened, that we constantly look for ways to numb and escape?’. Certainly looking back at how I used to live, I was constantly either pepping myself up with something or dulling myself down. I also used to love to do both at the same time, as in have a mega latte coffee after the gym, which gave me a kind of side ways slant to life. I wasn’t consciously aware at the time that I was forever looking to avoid being myself, because myself was full of discomfort and pain. So the avoidance was constant and almost lifelong and would have continued for the rest of this life and into the next had I not come to the internal work of Universal Medicine and finally stood my ground and dealt with the things that had been causing all of my discomfort. The funny thing is, dealing with them was not nearly as uncomfortable as my life of avoidance! And the sense of freedom that I now have is utterly sublime!
“It’s the same with puppies being led along the beaches and roads – big, waggy hellos with no fear, no questions, just pure openness, love, acceptance and joy. It is connection with no judgment. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like or what mood you’re in… and it brings an instant glow to the heart of practically everyone around” – ha ha glowing as I read this Diane, so true, they do this! Love this description and the fact that a tiny four legged friend is our teacher of what is innately within, and to be expressed so naturally – love.
I particularly appreciate the two mirroring observations and have been in similar situations myself; it is truly amazing what can be communicated through presence and stillness, holding another in love and without judgment – and not a single word need be spoken. That is magic.
I grew up when I was young really fast and at times feel like I missed out on being a child but I have found myself more recently being playful and it is a whole lot of fun when we get rid of this idea that as an adult we have to be and act a certain way.
As a child I knew that every–one around me was living a lie but I did not know how to deal with these feelings and it seemed to me that no-one else felt the same way, so eventually I enjoined them. I only I started to come out of the fog when I attended Universal Medicine presentations and meet a group of people who were like minded, it was such a relief to come back to the truth and have support from others who confirmed what I already knew.
Adore this article – so much to learn and be inspired by!
This are brilliant observations Dianne, you show us how much life reflects to us all the time in each other, how we behave and so forth. If we all stopped and took time to observe what is happening around us, we would have a greater understanding of each other.
This sentence was very strong for me
‘But the mere fact that he restrains his usual anger and chooses his own way to express love, means that he does recognise love, and wants to let me know it. One day it will blossom in him and shine out for all to see, of that I am sure!’ We can hold another in love and acceptance and offer them the space to come to their love in their way, how very healing for this little boy.
Children are our reflections of what as adults we have left behind, yet still is within us.
Nature and animals offer us a natural interchange of wonderment, surprise and definitely appreciation, as its so refreshing to see our surroundings with new eyes every day. If we took this into our relationships with people it would be like meeting for the first time, every time, we would be able to observe and read without any old pictures getting in the way, just like children initially do and dogs generally are always, forgiving, loving and playful. There are many observations we can learn from as you have shared Dianne, it’s staying open to receive each moment.
Thoroughly enjoyable read thank you Dianne. I loved and appreciated the thread coming through every observation and expression. It triggered many moments in my life where my observation also left a deep impression on me of the truth about children that you share. That one where you observe a child evoking an emotional drama to get attention is a classic when they notice you noticing. They cannot but help keep looking back because they know that love is something universal, not only to be received by their parent and cannot help acknowledge it when offered -even if for brief moments when the struggle between the charade and the truth is playing out.
This blog is delightful Dianne! Thank you for your research on children. I love being silly with my young grandchildren and they love it when I (or anyone else) joins into the way they see the world . You proved the point that we come into this world knowing a lot more than most think. For instance the children you were observing recognised that you knew exactly what they were doing, manipulating their parent and getting away with it.!
Children are also showing us a simple lesson in life. Don’t get too serious and laughter is truly the best medicine.
Wow Dianne, what an awesome read, I feel you may have just invented another form of science, ‘The Science of Observing and Tracing the Inner and Outer Incongruities’, a bit of a tongue full, but fascinating nevertheless! Yes, the world needs more sillyness and playfulness, we can be way too serious for our own good. I am quite a serious person, but only when I’ve lost my mojo, so it is a re-connection to our mojo that is required, that deep inner part of our inner-most called JOY.
It would seem that paying attention and making intentional observations with an open and inquisitive heart and mind brings us understanding of ourselves and life. How could this not contribute to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being!
‘I love to play silly with people… anyone. A rare few meet me with walls of suspicion and disdain, but most melt immediately and come on board, letting their own inner child out to have some fun!’ – Awesome Dianne, the world sorely needs more people to reflect playfulness and sillyness, it is healing and truly liberating to let go of control and seriousness.
I so enjoy listening to adult like you speak. The unabashed openness, playfulness, curiosity, joy and appreciation of life spills out of every word, just like I tend to witness in children when they are left to be their tender selves. And all of this combined with the adult ability to reflect about different areas of life. The insights and revelations that are so playfully shared in this way are a delight to read and consider.
Love your blog Dianne. the power of observation, what we can learn and offer from doing so.
Pondering on your Number 5, I recall an incident where a child was lost in a supermarket. We are so ingrained these days with ‘Don’t touch’ but I forgot in the distress of the situation. I went up to the child and said ‘Have you lost your Mummy?’ He nodded. ‘Would you like me to help you find her?’ More nods. And then, on impulse, ‘Is it OK I pick you up?’ His arms went up for a carry. I carried him through the shop and, because he was at an adult height, he soon spotted his mum and pointed, so I put him down and he ran to her. It felt like a beautiful, natural interaction of trust between two equal beings.
Wow a Mega awesome blog Dianne , I will have to read it over again and again! I loved your example of how you demonstrated to the child that his behaviour wasn’t working, there are many ways to help one another evoke and this is what life is all about.
Children have a lot to teach us, just us we have a lot to teach them.
After all we are all Students and Masters Returning at the same time.
I have re-connected with my sense of humour recently and find myself to be quite amusing, in fact I crack myself up at times. The good thing is that I am not concerned if others do not feel the same way. Being so serious about life is not good medicine, humour is good medicine.
What an amazing sharing Dianne with such depth and simplicity I love it being childlike is who we are inside us all.” It seems that somewhere along the way from childhood to adult, I became loaded with stuff that is not natural to me, and transformed into an ‘adult’ that bears not enough resemblance to the loving, accepting, little child I was!”
There are so many examples here to read Dianne, of how we lose ourselves from a very early age and play games to get attention and be seen. I remember thinking I had to do something to get the attention I craved, whether it was naughty or good, it is all games we learn to play. When we know all we need to do is return to the love we feel inside us, and hold that, it is so much simpler to be true to ourselves, to nature and be in the universal flow of life.
There are many ways for children to get attention, and one way for me was to withdraw, in the hope that someone would come and ‘find’ me. In a way I still find myself going into this behaviour, which means I am holding everyone to ransom and expecting them to love me first rather than taking the plunge and love THEM first.
It seems almost unavoidable that we lose ourselves the way things are set up. However, they are also set up in a way that we can find ourselves!
Super cute examples of the innocence and unadulterated ways of children (and puppies!). I loved your description of a ‘whole body wag’ from the sheer loveliness of having you come to the door. I don’t have a dog but I do recognise this greeting – it is absolutely gorgeous to be welcomed by another with such openness and joy.
I love it Diane, “smile and wag at everyone”. The openness of a child or a dog is a great reflection that we too can live this every day. Openness is a natural way of being we simply have to choose it.
“… it’s not acceptable to enjoin childish humour directly in public”. One of my favourite jokes is a kid’s joke and it always makes me laugh every time for its simplistic humour. How sad that, as adults we feel like we need to put on this sophisticated front and not just allow our playful innocence to re-surface in public. Thank God for children and dogs who constantly remind us to lighten up and appreciate the moment.
Reading your expression of your observations you can feel that absolute joy that is within us all from childhood and just how much we miss this. Personally I have experinced a return to this through my relationship with my wife. Perhaps once I was a little ‘serious’ about life and I do still have a tendancy to go there at time but I am far more playful in the innocence of just being me than I have been previously.
Dianne, I have felt this too, ‘I notice with some sadness that what’s classed as ‘fun’ by many adults is harmful of themselves and others’, adult fun so often seems to be about us pushing ourselves – about excitement and doing ‘exciting’ things, having fun and enjoying the simple, healthy things in life does not seem to cut it for adult fun, it seems that we look for things outside of ourselves to have fun – whether its sports, hobbies, eating or drinking, unlike children who can have fun in any situation with anyone because they are present with themselves and that is what makes life fun.
It is a sad day when we feel the need to reject our beingness and seek out recognition from others through what we do. And it is a joy-full day when we re-choose our beingness over this pursuit of recognition. Will today be a sad day, or a joy-full one? It is ours to choose.
Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?! I think so imagine if we were all offered this at any age I bet there would be far fewer people in prisons for a start.
Wow Dianne you have made some pretty amazing observations here, I may never look at a child in the same way again. One of my favourite things is seeing my daughter laugh such a beautiful true laugh with no inhibitions loaded with pure joy and I can remember being able to laugh like this also and ask myself why I don’t do it so much these days.
In full appreciation of what is so delicately being presented / share in this blog, I can feel that I’ve actually never really allowed myself to (deeply) feel how I actually felt as a child. To me this shows clearly how I’ve been running away from myself for a long, long time. I love how I’ve taken the opportunity to stop and allow myself to be truly honest with myself. I can’t yet feel how it actually was in my youth, but do feel that I’ve been offered a great moment to start reconnecting to the child I am (too).
Reading the first line of this blog made me ponder on how so far removed from our natural joy as adults we are. It’s like we get to a place where we are in such denial that it actually exists that we are shut down from connecting to it. Knowing that it is still there under the surface is a great realisation to get to but how prepared are we really to let go of our issues and allow ourselves the joy of the innocence again?
This may have been a ‘poorly controlled experiment by scientific standards’ but what fun, and some great observations.
Recently moved into an apartment block where I live and work. Fun to me is opening up to people when sharing a lift with them.
The child that keeps trying to get the mother’s attention by causing a fuss is often seen at very young ages. There does this come from? The saying ‘start the way you mean to finish’… but, could it also mean that what you finished your last life is the way you start this one?
Recently at a restaurant I sat back and felt what was going on, I could see that a young girl of approx. 3 and her younger brother wanted to be a part of the family conversation in a joyful and expressive way, they had something to contribute but they were quickly given a screen and both of their present and engaged faces slowly disappeared and their eyes were half closed. It is interesting to consider why we do this. Could it be when we were hushed and told not to talk as children or is it because we left behind our natural joy of expressing and the wisdom we hold and instead learnt to control what we say and what we do to suit and pacify others? Or do we not want to hear the wisdom our children may bring and what they could expose?
We are all incredibly observant and watch each other constantly. We notice how people move, how they feel, how they relate to others. Unfortunately as adults we filter what we see through a personalised lens. Instead of truly observing we tend to judge, stereotype or react to what we see and feel. Inside us, I think we know that kids have answers that we have left behind. Just as ancient structures like the great pyramids remind us that we have left behind a vast wisdom and intelligence, even though we think we are more ‘grown up’.
I love your observation that children flow like swirls of water or flocks of birds, as I am sure many of us have also observed. They are not stunted, constrained or controlled by staying safe or needing to look a certain way. They just follow a rhythm and feeling within themselves, one that we can also feel when we become quiet and still inside.
Great observations Dianne, when we observe without judgement, sympathy, or need to fix anything this offers us the opportunity to learn and reflect to others how we can stay connected.
I love the way that you use the word ‘flow’ when describing the way children play. I remember feeling this flow when I was a child. I didn’t think about the future much, I just focused on the right now and took things one step at a time. As an adult I constantly feel like I am being pushed to do things I don’t really want to do, things like housework, work, chores, shopping etc. My days feel ‘too full’ and I feel like I am always chasing my tail. I feel inspired to live in a way that allows me to be playful while I take responsibility for the many parts of my life that require attention.
This is a great read, and it clarifies to me the statement ‘your inner child’ much more, as i would hear this a lot and used to be a bit confused what this exactly meant… but now and confirmed by your blog, it makes me see how we may grow up in age, but there is always that remnant or thread back to our childhood ways within us that can come out and be playful at any age.
Love your capturing observations Diane, scientific, and also true. Recalling for myself from child to adulthood: “Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?” – that is the fact of life for the majority of us; is like simplicity or simple things are downgraded over complexity or complicatedness being worth more/having more to it and therefore with greater value. This applies very much professional and to jobs, as well as tasks/duties upon which typically promotion is measured, and granted.
There is a sadness when we treat our bodies poorly. It’s quite something to be honest to consider the extent this mal-treatment can go. Our bodies are amazing supportive and generous, I often ponder if we could see into them after a moment or moments of certain choices and what was going on inside would we keep it up? At what point would we be honest enough to say ‘ok that’s enough’?
Dianne, I love your observational scientific experiements and how you share your qualities in your totally accessible blogs, they give life on this planet of ours a whole new perspective.
I can absolutely recall how we used class how good the night was on how wrecked or messy our brains were in the morning. A completely warped perspective of fun.
I’ve always been the sort to engage with anyone and everyone – it’s part of what makes my day.
Kids can be so beautiful and open…I recall one day having a young (7-8 year old boy) knocking on the door of our house. I opened the door and said hello and he asked if we had any children…I thought that was a strange question until I realised he was simply looking for someone to play with, having just moved to the area…How beautiful for him to seek to connect with other kids, and to have the openness to just come around and knock on doors looking for potential friends. Something for us to be inspired by knowing how seclusively we can live at times…
One thing that I find very sad is how we prepare children to be protected from life, suspicious of strangers, which means they are not necessarily trusting of themselves. We do know when something does not feel right, which also means that we know when something is. The example you gave of the little child looking for his mum is a beautiful one, for it shows how we read energy first before we even lock in with our eyes.
‘Now it’s silly scientist come-out time. Now I ‘risk all’ and relate to people, even strangers, in the streets and shops and serious places and on the phone. I love to play silly with people… anyone.’ And the world is a better place for it, I’m so pleased that you have blessed us with your endless scientific experiments, playfulness and joy of life, you remind me that the same silliness is harmless fun and in me too.
Have you ever noticed with young kids and dogs the absolute joy they have when they see you…you might come home from a day at work and not seen them for 8 hours, or you might have just ducked out of the room for 10 minutes or even just gone to the bathroom briefly, but the moment you step back in the room the child’s face lights up and they say your name, or the dog looks at you and wags its tail! I call this appreciation…sadly it is something we tend to hide beneath many layers as we grow up, but it still lies in there within all of us – how beautiful to know this and to be able to gradually put this back into activity! Diane, in the end I suppose a part of us is like puppies and children, it is just about letting it all out again!
Woof! Woof!, or Ruff! Ruff!, being happy!, or being joy-full!!, no mucking around I can feel how amazing it is to feel the joy in my body that is lasting and not momentary like I was when I would say I felt happy. Happy would always pass away, so at best it was momentary and my childhood joy that I feel has returned seems to be end-less!
Dianne, I love this article, this really stands out for me, ‘Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.’ I really enjoy observing children and how naturally and sweetly they can play together, I love the feeling of brotherhood with children and how at a park kids often start playing with children they do not know, this feels very natural and in the flow of life.
How beautiful and powerful is it actually to allow ourselves to be simply fragile all of the time. Even when we’ve disconnected from life ourselves and then being presented true love. Somebody who truly emanates the love we all are and come from, fiery love. Lots of children align instantly to love and express whatever they feel to express at that given moment. Yesterday I talked to a child who was locked up in the head and when connecting to her she instantly aligned and after a little while gave in and let herself having a little cry. How powerful are children to allow love and in that way come back to themselves. There’s much humbleness and appreciation from my side to children who are usually a lot more accepting of love when being presented. I simply adore children! All of them.
With the hand-holding experiment, I could feel that it is our natural state to simply trust another human being and to be with them and to have a physical intimacy in terms of touching hands etc… Then I could feel how far we have come from this natural state and that we have reduced who we trust to our ‘inner circle’ and are often surprised when someone does something ‘trustworthy’.
There is a simplicity and joy of life that children naturally have – they are so connected to their bodies and that natural flow in life. As adults, it is all our pictures, ideals and beliefs of how life should be, that come from our minds (imposed or self-created) that creates complicated lives, lacking in the love and joy so naturally felt in our bodies.
Being true to our own innately loving nature, “… being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being.” Absolutely Dianne.
The ‘fun’ had under the influence of alcohol is not true fun, it is much easier to find true joy with a clear head.
How many ways am I like a child?…in every way when I am not inhibited!
Our inhibitions keep us contracted, they keep us less, they are those things that get in the way of showing the world the amazingness of all that we truly are.
‘What can I learn from children (and dog children) that I seem to have forgotten?’ One of my favourite things to observe is the joy in children and in dogs. If we put them together even better! Their playfulness and ability to live in the moment I find totally inspiring and their love of life is infectious. I always feel lighter after an encounter with children and dogs!
Michelle, this is true…children and dogs make great companions, sharing joy, fun and love together they are truly fun to watch.
Wow Dianne. Reading this helps me cut through the “stuff” of an adult and connect back to the simplicity of life as a child. A friend of mine has no qualms or hesitation in connecting to the joyful boy inside him. Watching him play with children is an absolute delight and it really is just silly things that bring so much joy. It is as though as adults we have subscribed to certain beliefs about adult life. But these only serve to cut us off from a playfulness in life.
Beautifully observed Dianne, we really can learn so much from children, if we are willing to.
It is true that many grown up pursuits we class as fun tend to involve activities that harm us. Alcohol is the obvious one but even the notion that staying up late is more fun, and going to bed early is boring. It’s a real mental construct, yet consider how it leaves us feeling, and we see that we may well have a very warped view of what fun is as adults that has been normalised but doesn’t leave us well or in any joy in our body, i.e. energised, playful, vibrant and ready for life.
The child that put its hand into yours – could it have operated by feel and you, and perhaps only you, apart from its mother, in the shopping centre, may have felt like that to the child?
That is possible, though I was a long way from having love in my body at that stage…. still, that’s not all we are able to feel!
Fun for me is feeling the delight of myself fully in my body …and then whatever my expression is naturally happens. It can be quiet or more exuberant… it doesn’t matter as long as I can feel that I am with me – totally,
I just love the gorgeous and spontaneous interactions that you had with the various children. Those are the magical moments that can often change our lives but unfortunately so many adults are just way too ‘busy’ or way too serious to stop and appreciate what they are being offered in that moment. So I too feel to ask the question – what happens between childhood and adulthood? What programming has buried the innately spontaneously joy-filled child? Whatever it was “Gosh – we have a lot of ‘undoing’ to do!” to return back to the simplicity of childhood!
It’s a great point you make here about what is considered ‘fun’. So often fun has been mistaken for relief, checking out, comfort and bliss, all of which are not fun at all in terms of the energetic effect they have on our body.
Yes – I often wonder when I see newspaper photos that have a caption of the people being depicted having ‘fun’ when the picture displays them sleeping off a large amount of alcohol. Fun?
This is a fantastic dichotomy of life. What you are describing is the freedom to just be who we are with no inhibition, no hesitation and no holding back, it’s so great that we are born this way and we never loose the ability to be authentically ourselves.
Beautifully put Meg 🙂
‘This is a very haphazard, poorly controlled experiment by ‘scientific standards’, but wow – the useful observations it has provided!’ – Yes indeed, lived evidence – how much more real than that can science get?
There is so much we can learn for different generations young and old.
I am involved in a very intense period at work at the moment. I was talking to my seven year old about it and he suggested that I spend five minutes looking at the stars every night on my way back home in the car (I’m not driving!). I’ve only been doing it a couple of days so far, but can already feel that this most simple of acts is absolute gold – and the reason it works so well is also because I do it in the same playful, inquisitive and wonderment way that he would if he were looking at the stars. It puts an intense day at the work right back into perspective!
Purity and innocence naturally impulsed – I spent my child hood being that and my teenage years destroying that .. . and so I have come full circle and now appreciate purity for the divine expression it is.
Having three kids, it has been a very startling and shocking revelation to me how hard I have found it to just simply PLAY. It was really, really surprising to me and I am still learning so much about how separated I had become from that natural joyful and care-free expression. It is one of the many great gifts my children have given me; showing me how far I have strayed and how magical that simple expression of play can be. I am forever re-learning how to be a child and it’s been VERY uncomfortable at times – but the healing that this has offered, and continues to offer, is a huge blessing.
‘Like those flocks of birds, they are in synchrony with something invisible flowing through every moment…’, I feel this invisible something is the love that they know they are. Children are much more freely impulsed by how they feel, which is why they are so naturally joy-full. They connect with the love flowing through their every particle, unlike adults who become conditioned by society to believe they need to be a certain way to be accepted. Children just enjoy being who they are and so can we, it’s just a choice to connect to what is true, our inner essence, which is pure love.
I love your 3rd point about striking up a conversation with the girl in the laundrette about her hat. After spending almost 2 weeks recently in Morocco, where everyone greets one another on the street incredibly openly and intimately, and then coming back to the UK it’s obvious that here and in many countries we don’t connect with each other! It shouldn’t be weird to strike up conversations or greet people we don’t know – why else would we have 7 billion people in the world if we weren’t meant to build relationships!
I feel how we choose to interact with our animals is quite telling too! Have you ever noticed how differently people talk to their animals versus the people around them? There is no holding back on the love shown towards a family pet, they offer no threat and love you unconditionally, always. However, with people it can be very different, as our behaviour is far less predictable. We learn to protect ourselves and become more withdrawn, waiting to see how others behave before deciding if it’s safe. What if the lack of warmth we feel from another is due to the lack of warmth they feel from us and all we’re doing is perpetuating this crazy cycle of false judgments and mistrust that stops us from being completely open and loving with each other, which is actually how we truly want to be, just as we were as children.
I love your observations Dianne as they are all so relateable to us all. Maybe there should be more ‘scientific studies’ done in this way!
I love your scientific experiments Dianne, and this one is just gorgeous. There is so much to be understood through observation.
Ah Dianne, how I love your science experiments – I would work in your lab any day. What you have observed is amazing – so many take away points as to how children live a freedom of expression of who they are we have lost touch with as adults. The greatest shame I have observed is the greater and greater reservations, fears and mistrust that children are taught to treat strangers with. The abusive actions of the few is affecting the many, so that children have less exposure to just meeting and talking to someone out in public. Even teachers can no longer comfort a distressed child by giving them a hug – any form of human contact might be seen as inappropriate, and so the children miss out on a possible reflection of love.
Nature, children and animals have much to teach and support us to return to a natural and simple way of living. I love your intentional observations and the joy of true science you offer.
“Paying attention and making intentional observations – of anyone (including ourselves) – being true to nature and in the universal flow of life, may be the key to a return to a simpler, fulfilling and loving way of being”.
“It is connection with no judgment. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you look like or what mood you’re in… and it brings an instant glow to the heart of practically everyone around.” Dogs and children have the ability to do this, their lack of judgement and living in the moment offers us a beautiful reflection, that what ever is going on around us we don’t have to react to. I am learning to live like this, and the more I do the less I allow things outside of me to affect me, I am a work in progress in this but it was lovely to read your blog Dianne to remind myself that there is so much joy to be had in living without reactions.
What an amazing exposing reflection Dianne . I love the way you share about our dogs greeting us so joyfully and unconditionally with tails wagging and clarity in their eyes. The simple joy and connection of children immersed in their presence with sacredness and divinity overflowing and open. What a lot there is waiting for us all to connect to who we really are.
I love the reflections of children when they sing. They just sing because they feel like singing and have no thought for how it might be perceived or received. A song arises from within them and without hesitation they simply let it out. How different this is to the everyday images we have of ‘being a singer’ with polished performances, all the right notes, the emotional expressions et al. We do make life very hard for ourselves yet the reflections of these glorious young ones show us it really could be very simple.
We call ourselves ‘grown ups’ and it is true we get taller as we age but do we actually get any wiser or more aware of the magic and multidimensionality of life? I would argue that we actually shrink and reduce ourselves in many ways as we get older. Maybe one day we will call ourselves ‘grown outs’ to reflect the fact that as we go through life we expand our awareness and connection with each other and with the universe.
Again I love this blog as much as I did the first time. I found myself doing slides across my living room floor last night because I was feeling so joyful, so me. I even slide down my stairs on my bum the other day, like you do as a kid, just because I felt to, not something I would do everyday. But I feel we loose the lightheartedness and our playfulness in life when people give us into trouble for this. The fact is many adults are jealous because they know it’s in them, they can feel it, they might not express it in the same way, but for whatever reason they have hardened, become solid and shut down. The key is not to try and make someone this way, but keep expressing and living joy and playfulness in all that you do, you never know what happens when someone is watching you. A big learning for me for feeling truly playful and joyful is not to try and be ahead of the game, as in accepting where I am at in life, taking the pressure off.
I am loving returning to be more like a child in my playfulness and connection, at ease and enjoying just being yet with a greater authority and purpose than I felt before. It’s interesting realising that without that connect and at ease in our bodies life becomes very much a game of end results rather than moment – by – moment appreciation.
Reading your blog Dianne made me ponder that if left to their own nature, kids really don’t need much on the outside to have fun and feel content and joyful. They certainly are better off without many of the things that we need to have fun as adults (e.g. TV, chocolate and alcohol, etc) in my opinion. So why then when we grow up do we need so many extra adult distractions and indulgences that we think are a right of passage into being an adult but really when you stop to think about it are a degradation and a regression not an advancement?
No 4 shows another side to the wisdom of children that is not often recognised “I am really seeing you, but showing you that I am respectfully letting you see that I am inviting you to connect with me when you are ready.” I love the sensitivity and playfulness that is reflected here and the invitation to connect which as you say we as adults can learn so much from.
Thank you Dianne I love your observational experiments which are so revealing of how we have let go of our openness and child-like wonder but also of the innate wisdom of children and puppies. It feels to me that one of the main things we have lost is our trust in ourselves and others and this tempers all our interactions. When I reconnect to my inner child then I can feel where everyone else is at so there is no issue of trust whoever as soon as I go into my head worrying about how I will be seen if I do x, y or z I lose trust in my knowing and other people become scarey.
I love how you observed children and puppies in their innocent expression and set out to learn from them, instead of keeping yourself separate from it because you are an adult and grown up. There is much we can learn from children.
The path of our evolution or de-evolution can be seen in the different ages of children around us if we but stop and observe.
Serge Benhayon often says humanity does not need to develop or go anywhere: we already have everything within us and simply need to return to our true selves. And when we observe babies and young children we see how much of our natural, clear joyful selves we’ve discarded.
It’s a fascinating experiment Dianne, in my view a scientific study that brings purpose back into our lives through studying the reflections all around us. We are constantly presented with these opportunities to return to our own open hearted innocence, a quality that never leaves us, just gets buried the dust created when we close our hearts to our selves and each other. Those carefree loving moments that dogs and children reflect back to us certainly help to blow the dust away. All that’s needed then is for us to keep opening up our hearts again and let the love flow both ways, in and out.
As you correctly identify, Dianne, adult fun in general is unhealthy and harmful, this I feel is because unlike children we are not comfortable or enjoy just being with ourselves and require something to either stimulate or sedate ourselves so we do not feel our internal disharmony and disconnection from the Divine.
Children have so much to teach us if we could just get over our arrogance as adults and allow ourselves to learn from them.
If we just stop and consider what your observations show Dianne it is truly profound. For if we were all born as natural masters of the world with deep understanding, amazing humor and clairsentient feeling, then surely we would have to conclude we have got life back to front. For we are not advancing as we think we are but returning to a loving state we all have once known. This puts a whole new understanding on education, progress, science and life – we are not going anywhere just remembering the joy that is naturally our own.
Diane, it is beautiful to see all of the ways you have kept your child like qualities. These qualities are precious when we are children and they are just as precious as adults. These qualities keep us playful, joyful and curious. These qualities are divine and bring us closer to God.
The wisdom one receives through observation is incredible… This is most definitely the foundation of all scientific discoveries.
Yes and we so often race through life without even a moment to stop and consider what we are receiving.
Dianne, you are a true scientist who observes everything and ponders on the significance of it in relation to the whole. This blog shows the power of observation with understanding and how most people feel seen and met when we interact with them without an ounce of judgment.
I love how kids can make a game out of anything and there is no difference to them between work and play. So-called chores can be fun if parents allow children to do them in their own way and in their own timing (without too much ‘fooling around’). But if a child is even slightly imposed on, this will bring up resistance and the activity then becomes a chore and gradually they learn to separate work and play into two distinct categories; one which is serious and involves hard work, and the other that is enjoyable and fun. It’s lovely Dianne, how you are ‘letting [your] own inner child out to have some fun!
We have an innate Joy within that we are not afraid to express as a child, but get repeatedly shut down to the point where we measure our expression to fit in.
gorgeous observations, exposing our retraction into the seriousness and strictness we have taken on from this young. While in our core we all know that it isn’t the truth to live in this harsh way, but instead we are the flow of joy and preciousness that is within a young child, unaffected.
Great to see what it is to be a child, to notice our reservations now and realise that they are simply that, reservations, but the innocence and playfulness of our inner child never leave us… they are just hiding under a few layers.
Why do we smile at babies? Because they’re constantly smiling as they’re in touch with the beauty and sphericalness of life (everything is connected to everything). This is natural and actually very beautiful. I know that on days when I am very connected and vibrating, everyone I come across actually smiles back. We know love inside out and when we’re reflected unconditional love, most people instantly align! There’s a lot to learn from children:-).
It is the reflections of our inner divinity that children seek, not our ideals and beliefs, it is our equal sacredness that they, with all their heart, respond to.
It’s amazing how much we can (re)learn or certainly remember from when we were kids. And it’s not as if we can’t be that way anymore – being playful, loving, open, sharing or caring all come to us so naturally and we’re the ones imposing anything other than this on ourselves.
I enjoyed your first point about how a dog greets people, the openess and joy that it freely expresses- people light up when they feel this from a dog- it would be great if we were more like this with each other.
Yes I did too MW and it got me reflecting on how I am when I meet people.
What a great little experiment and observation on the natural flow from a child and how that changes as we grow into adulthood. Children and dogs do have a way of bringing us back to our true nature and feeling the playfulness of the child we once were. Thanks for this enjoyable and informative read Dianne.
It is lovely to feel the sweetness and childlike quality when adults play with their animals. We really don’t ever loose our joyful loving ways, although they can become covered with layers of protection. We seem to allow this playfulness more with children and animals because they appear ‘safer’. This is not necessarily true and when we take the time to connect the response is most often met in kind.
It’s exposing what you share here and how we’ve taken having fun as an adult as permission to destroy our bodies. When In fact I look T my 6 month old daughter play and experience the world and a water bottle can fascinate her. She is constantly appreciating all the world has to offer and having fun with it. Which is a gift to observe and see that this is possible no matter what age we are.
“Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?’ – What a great question Dianne, exposing the choices many adults make as they are impacted more and more by the society we live in. As you have shared everything is a choice and life offers us so much through the reflections of others around us especial children and our furry friends – nothing complicated here. Thank you for the simplicity you bring through your observations and living science.
” I like to observe kids, as many adults do. Something in them answers questions in us, even if we don’t know we’re asking”, Dianne I love what you have shared here and think that it is actually indicative of life in general. I feel that life does have all of the answers, if only we looked a little deeper at every-thing around us, rather than continually skirt over the detail and fail to actually see what is right in front of us.
This is my experience also Alexis, our body and life around us does hold all the answers and when we are present to what is before us it opens a world of wisdom greater than we may appreciate.
Victoria you have supported me to realise that our body and life are one and the same, not only that but our body and life are both made from the living body of God. What this then leads me to realise is that left unfettered our bodies and life would be the known livingness of God but……..but we don’t live life unfettered, in fact on the contrary we bury both our bodies and our lives under piles of debris and like some fanatical hoarder we lug this debris from one lifetime to the next, thereby constantly restricting our access to God.
…. yes, and yet the day comes when we awake to the fact we do have a choice and we begin to let go of the bundle, sweep out the debris and feel the light returning to our steps, each one a choice to walk with the love of God on our return. Life becomes simple again and our true vitality returns.
Yes Alexis it is the complication that we can be set on in the adult life that often clouds the simplicity that is reflected in the young. What I find very affirming and appreciate is how children address a challenge in their life and are able to move on with no regrets or stew on the situation. An example of truly letting go and accepting rather than investing in how things should be.
Agreed Natalliya, the unfortunate truth is that it is us adults that teach children to invest in how things should be rather than allow them to continue with their natural acceptance.
I love reading your science Dianne it is so visceral. I have always enjoyed observing life around me, whether that be in children or in our behaviours as adults. From observation comes a greater understanding. I say yes to this, “Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?!”
The pain that we take on in life, kills the joy that we feel as kids, in order to return to that same joyful way of living we have to heal (and thus remove) the stagnating and toxic pain that we lug around in our bodies.
Dianne another superb insightful article. Your sense of fun and playfulness flows through your written expression and is absolutely exquisite to feel. You have such a gift for making science not only fun but utterly intriguing and this inquiry that you have opened up is incredibly important. I agree, we seem to have accepted that life as an adult is a rather stale affair and that, as you so rightly share, we seek our fun through all manner of self abusive ‘pastimes’. For me clubbing was my time to play, I recognised the importance of play in my life but as there were no other adults playing, unless they were at parties, then I felt that I too had to confine my playtime to being trashed at night time. Adult life has become an accepted burden and we all need to ask ourselves why.
Dianne, I loved reading that from start to finish. You beautifully pointed out many things I have felt and not confirmed. One thing I am continuously reminded of from my 3 year old, is how much people want and enjoy connection. As soon as she offers connection, which she does with no reservation of being judged or rejected, it is taken with great joy by everyone. I often feel how I walk around in protection and in this put a wall up that stops connection between the many I meet. There is much to learn from kids.
After reading this, I was driving home and pulled up at a traffic light. I felt someone watching my and turned to the car next to me. It was a young child. I freely waved and he waved back. I then remembered your blog and thought, if that was an adult, I would not have waved liked I did. With all of me, and with such joy. I most likely would have smiled but with only half of me. Thank you for the opportunity to see more of what is going on when we interact with children and adults.
Diane, life truly is a lived science experiment and so when we can observe and just take it all in, we have so much to learn! Loved reading this blog, and it has re-inspired me to more observation of life and all that happens around us and to us. Thank you!
We can learn so much from observation and I have done some similar experiments and its always interesting to see how changes can happen so easily and quickly when another reflection is available, another way is shown.
I love playing with children, it is liberating to no end.
This is the most divine and joy-full choice I could make my focus of every moment of everyday, the kookaburras are laughing as well: “but doing ‘adult things’ without the sense of burden, seriousness and mechanical disconnection. Doing things within the flow and connection of the whole. “
Dianne- thank you for this delightful re-fresh on the joy of who we are with-in. All such great points. The “your welcome point” is one I’m going to place more focused observation on – thanks for sharing this. The other points are all pearls of recognition – ones that don’t require a hard shell at all.
The natural innocence and trust that we find in children is something that most of us have left behind, but it is never too late to re-connect to.
Dianne the wisdom you have gained from observing human life is absolutely priceless.
I agree Bernard, Dianne your collection of wisdoms are truly appreciated and will be wonderful in a compilation a treasure trove of pearls, gems and joy to support humanity to re-connect to their natural innate essence of joy, simplicity and lightness of being – as lived by children and puppies.
Dianne Trussel – the master of putting Life under the microscope. It is undeniable that human life is actually really crazy. The whole idea of ‘growing up’ and becoming an adult is actually a process of dulling your light and fitting into the box life has boxed you into. It is sad that for some the most fun they have is in their childhood never in their adult years
Having worked with children for over 25 years in various daycare and learning centres I have found this blog a revealing look at what is presented by the children. So many people will make the comment of “How can you work with children?” Often left with a feeling of being exhausted or run into the ground. Thank you Dianne for sharing the absolute privilege it is to be given constant moments in the working day to connect to the inner child and that silliness, clumsiness, curiosity and a love of learning that is a precious lesson learnt from being with our younger generation.
Dianne, I wondered if this was you writing this, but didn’t ‘peek’ till the end. What a delightful way to do science, I found this revealing and beautiful to read. Number 7 shows how clearly we can learn from another’s reflection and Number 10 inspires me to allow my silliness out to play more often. I will be back to read this again and again.
Ha Ha Carmel – I did the same too, I thought of Diane, but did not look till the end and it was with joy that I saw her name as an author. Love it! Diane’s writing has a certain essence and quality which can be felt in her writing – there is appreciation of life, there is appreciation of people and animals and nature, and always a spunk in the way that she writes!
Another inspiring read Dianne. This is a powerful experience you offered to the children just holding them in stillness, without judgment, to feel the reflection of themselves and ‘understand their manipulative behaviour’, without a word being said.
“The neurobiologists state that even a few seconds of experience can ‘hard-wire’ a child’s brain for life. Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?!”
I love the transparency of children even when they are trying to put on an act (which they do!) it is so obvious. I love it how when they are sad they just cry it out etc.. We refine our behaviour so so much as we grow, to the point that we end up convincing ourselves of how we feel or trying to control how we feel instead of just feeling whatever it is that is there.
I love your dedication to the ground work Dianne. I find it fascinating observing children also, particularly when they are with eachother.
You have confirmed Dianne that growing up can mean shutting up and shutting off. I am appreciating you and what you share with the world in understanding that if we do go against the flow, it is a choice. Reminding me and the world of this truth, is profound actually. To be capped by our hurts which turn into beliefs and stifle our child like flow is a tragedy!
I find it amazing how children respond to you – that is quite a recommendation.
I love your observations Dianne and you can bump into me anytime in public and play silly. I have always loved that. The other thing that is amazing is that you chose to be a visible observer. Where people knew they were being watched. I know I have many times pretended I have not been watching, when I have. Dogs and kids are just such fun to watch.
I remember thinking how grown up and mature I was in my twenties, drinking and partying and continued for a couple more decades. I would have occasional childhood feelings but would dismiss them. Now it is gorgeous to return to childhood connections about the simple things in life and appreciate them, the ripples on a pond, the giggles in the park, the openness in communication with others, and the joy blowing a soap bubble.
A gorgeous blog to read Dianne that invites us to observe all the children and dogs that we meet who offer us such open, honest and carefree reflections of who we truly are. I agree, it is very sad that “what’s classed as ‘fun’ by many adults is harmful of themselves and others.” Reclaiming our innocent playfulness is possible and what a joy when we do, it is our natural way to be open hearted, un-attached and very playful. I know that the more we interact with people from our innate innocence, the more it encourages them to express their own inner joy and even if its only fleeting who knows where that will end up.
I have just been to a nine-year-old’s birthday party. It was one of the best parties I’ve ever been to. Seriously.
As always you bring great insights through your sharings, Dianne. I know now that in the future when I look at children and animals I will observe them with much greater awareness. Thank you.
Great blog, Diane. I used to joke with my friends when I stated something obvious that I was an ‘observational scientist’. What you’ve observed and shared here is just that, observational science – but there is more than meets the eye. The added element to this science is feeling. I’ve always been a keen observer and your writing here has inspired me to take it a level deeper…and, as I once joked, now actually be an observational scientist.
Yesterday I was sharing with a friend how much I would love to spend time around children more. Children are such an inspiration for us to simply be ourselves. To let our joy out fully, exhuberant, bursting with all the love we have inside.
Children are our teachers.
They sure are Katerina! I have learned more, from the many children I’ve ‘worked’ with than perhaps they have from me!
Initially the title for your blog, ‘How many ways am I like a child’ made me think about the negative things you might be discussing; perhaps that you weren’t fully taking responsibility in your life, being a bit reckless, running around a lot (figuratively) rather than committing to things, but this is such a false prejudgement on what children are actually like, and I love and agree with your sharings about how inspiring, responsible and open they actually are.
“This is a very haphazard, poorly controlled experiment by ‘scientific standards’, but wow – the useful observations it has provided!” For me observations are a great way to understand ourselves and how we are living. Science wants proof in hundreds of different ways, yet our own observations are our best marker to know what is true or not. We love to watch children and our 4 legged friends because they remind us of how we can be and what we have lost as we conform to society and what we think is expected of us. Children to me offers some of the greatest inspirations and they can be so uplifting and joyful to be around. More observations please Dianne.
Tapping into that sweet innocence of a child like making footprints, or stomping through leaves is something that I love doing but so often miss as I get lost in the doing of life. This blog is a great reminder to connect back to our inner playfulness like a dog who wags its tail with its whole body.
Dianne I have to say that for me this is your coolest blog ever! Totally love it! ‘The neurobiologists state that even a few seconds of experience can ‘hard-wire’ a child’s brain for life. Could non-judgmental, understanding, un-imposingly offered, truthful reflection, be the greatest gift we could bring to any child? And to any adult?!’ This statement is a whopper and the example of how you supported this particular child in this example to come to self awareness is huge. Thank you so much for sharing your observations.
What I have noticed with kids, especially young kids, is how happy they are to stop doing whatever they are doing – even if it was amazing fun. Let me try and explain this. They can be doing something that is clearly a whole lot of fun and they are clearly loving doing it – yet without any seeming reason they then sometimes just stop. I have sometimes asked them, or even pushed them, “do you want to do that again?”, “do you want to do more?” A very definite response “No.” This has often rather baffled me. Why? Because when you compare it to adults it is a very different behaviour. We will keep doing something, squeeze every last drop out of it because we are so desperate to not feel the emptiness that we are trying to cover up with the “fun”. Yet for the kids it is just their natural way of being and they know there is plenty more wherever that came from. The difference is that they don’t NEED it. (this of course isn’t 100% true and – like this blog isn’t 100% scientific – in that plenty of kids are already losing their natural joyous expression and are already beginning to feel that separation…)
Your description of “adult fun” at the beginning of this blog is brilliant and very exposing; essential reading for all of us – a real stop-in-your-tracks revelation.
“Now it’s silly scientist come-out time. Now I ‘risk all’ and relate to people, even strangers, in the streets and shops and serious places and on the phone. I love to play silly with people… anyone” I love this Dianne. So many of us adults are far too serious. Spending time with my grandchildren recently brings out my silly side – much hilarity all round. Now to keep this in play when they aren’t around…..
I have had the opportunity for many years to observe children in my life in many different situations.
They are fascinating in all ways and especially in their honesty and humour. To think that they are small adults who have been here like us all many, many times before but see the word with fresh eyes. Great blog Dianne thank you!
Thoroughly enjoyed reading your observations Dianne, and what stood out for me was how rigid as adults we have become, it’s as if the playfulness has been sucked out of us, but within us we know we want to have the freedom children display. Reading this really brings it home how free and unrestrictive children’s movements are, and how as adults our ideals and beliefs kick in to counter what we are feeling from them.
Dianne, I loved reading this article, I work part time with children and have made many observations, I observe the natural flow and movement in their bodies – especially with younger children; the playfulness that children have is beautiful and the wonder at simple, natural objects like stones, feathers and pinecones is gorgeous to see; the gentle, light touch of a child feels heavenly and the natural smile and laughter deeply beautiful to behold – there is so much to lean from the naturalness of children.
Someone I know said to me last night ‘I don’t feel old”, she’s 84. And it’s true. Her beauty is that she has retained many qualities of young children, openness, playfulness, kindness, generosity, living each moment to the full, appreciative of every small thing. An absolute joy to be in her presence.
I’m more aware of children as I move and can appreciate what they reflect to me in so many ways. There’s a child I know that when he walks into the home he is breezy, open, fresh, playful. My heart expands immediately he enters the room.
Having baby sit children when I was in my early 20s I know how much they can actually teach us. It is like they are mostly unencumbered by the stresses and strains of adult life. I have also observed adults react to this not to put the child down but rather because they miss the part of themselves that used to be like this. And why do we have to ever let this part of ourselves go? There is no reason not to live joyful everyday. Who says growing up is serious? Sure we have more ‘responsibilities’ but this does not mean they have to stressful, arduous and a struggle. I know I have a choice in the way I do things I can either see things as a chore or as something to embrace, enjoy and learn from and I know which I would far rather choose!
Dianne it was great to read your observation on kids, I have found myself sit and watch my nieces and how they play out sometimes and it’s so interesting as they are so aware that I am watching and I know what they are doing when they are trying to get their mothers attentions. Sometimes through them screaming and shouting, or crying and yelling.
I’m not sure if I have ever read a more life-changing scientific study. Thank you Dianne so much for lifting the lid off not only our adult ways, but the fact of the true brotherhood that awaits when we are openhearted.
Beautiful observations Dianne, living science and much more fun than peering down a microscope. “we have a lot of ‘undoing’ to do!” Nothing silly about that.
Harmless fun that costs no one anything is something I still enjoy. My childhood was playing in the woods and building tree house’s, swimming in the creek by the tree that had a rope that you could swing on and in the winter sliding down snowy hills on sledges. And, camping has always been in my blood. We all have our inner child locked away… we just need to let it out to play!
I agree Steve – letting go of the seriousness that can be so much a chosen part of being an adult and choosing to be living from the natural joy within and be playful, would change the world.
“We all have our inner child locked away… we just need to let it out to play!”
What you show here Dianne is that when we observe life and do not absorb, we can see what is at play and what choices people are making and we will be blessed by what we learn from that although we observe we are actively involved and in connection with one another allowing ourselves to be seen unprotected and not biased and in that making space for magic to happen.
So well said Susan, I can see from my childhood that I would make myself sick, act incapable or hurt myself all to get more of a gentle loving attention instead of feeling the high harsh expectations from others. This is beautiful and would change our interactions hugely, “…how important it is to be ourselves and connect to each other so they get to see that too instead of the roles we play.”
Gorgeous and informative as ever Dianne, I also love observing children and our furry friends. I was appreciating recently how friendly and open our 7 month old puppy is when he meets other dogs and people. It doesn’t matter if they are ten times bigger than him and their paws could squash him, he is just the same and doesn’t cower or become aggressive with small dog syndrome, he just enjoys meeting them. What I noticed is that my husband and I are more like that now than we ever have been… open and willing to meet others so our dog also reflects that. We can never underestimate the power of reflection, and feeling and observing anothers movements and intentions.
This is beautiful!
Yes, Aimee, “We can never underestimate the power of reflection”; and for this reason I have become quite aware whether I am reflecting something true or something that is untrue of who I am/who we all are.
What I have been feeling, and so enjoyed in Dianne’s observations, is that when we do see someone ‘just being themselves’ it reminds us who we are we have a chance to come back much quicker than the process that led us away. This is so beautiful and inspiring to me.
Dianne I loved reading your observational experience of kids and the fact that you allowed yourself the space to reflect on what each moment was showing you, I have no doubt that if we where not so caught up in whats next we would be shown everything all the time to grow and evolve, well we would pay attention to what is in front of us. I remember being saddened as a kid as I found the joy slipping away, yet now I can see its my choice to bring that out in each moment/well more accurately let that be there.
‘Why should ‘simple and healthy’ be associated with children, whilst ‘complicated and harmful’ are associated with adulthood?’
Wonderful question Dianne. Why do we introduce struggle into our lives and wear it like a badge of honour? And why do we lose that which is easily healthy and simple? Perhaps once we reach this point of questioning, we can move away from struggle and complication simply by choosing something different (I was about to add ‘…and new’) but as illustrated here, it’s not new – the majority of us already know simplicity and joy because we have lived it as children.
What if instead of studying under Professors and Deans everybody who truly wanted to learn spent time with young children? They as you are not so fooled by the show of life as we all seem to be but are also fully engaged and amused by what they see. I wholeheartedly agree Dianne that they are living in a much wiser way than so many of us adults alive today.
Particularly interesting to consider that one positive experience for a child may hardwire their brains to lock in a positive way of behaving that does not involve acting out or seeking to be disruptive to gain attention. Children do respond very well to non emotional behaviour, which makes it really worthwhile responding without reaction to what is occurring when a child does behave disruptively.
Thank you Dianne for your expression through simplicity and the science of your reflective observations. I have often watched children and then seeing in them myself and how I would like to be in an adult body. This is slowly changing for me and I love the response from children and adults of how easily they relate to truth and simplicity and the whole experience of just being met.
Children are amazing to observe, I am lucky enough to be raising 5 of them and so I have lots of time just watching and taking it all in. Your blog really captures the many different faces and magic moments we all have with kids.
Dianne, I love your experiment and observations and can feel how true it is, as I’ve often done the same thing, seeing and loving how children can be so with it and also willing to let go, like that flock of birds you describe, they stay and then they go, in a rhythm, with no need or expectation in sight. This is how we all are when we allow it.
There’s so much science in observation, and your examples absolutely demonstrate this, thank you Diane!
This is fascinating. As a child, I could feel that life for adults and life for children were totally different, and I remember feeling that I could no longer be as I was if I wanted to be in the world as my own person. Things like drinking alcohol or smoking – even if we don’t really like it we accept it as a grown-up thing to do. Funny how we think that the more assimilated we become to that world of disregarding our innateness, the more we convince ourselves that we have grown up.
I love the detail, simplicity and beauty found in your observations shared here Dianne and how observing life brings us learning, love and expression in oh so many wonderful ways. Thank you.
Through making more self-loving choices, choosing to heal my hurts and opening up to the love that I am, I am returning to the natural joy and playfulness that I had as a young child. It is my own unravelling science experiment feeling the layers peel away and the real me shine through coming out to play.
Dianne, I love how you bring so much life and joy to science. Your blogs have supported me to see that life really is a playful experiment. If we can with non-judgement sit back and observe life then there is so much for us to be shown and to learn from especially from children.
I feel very inspired by the boy in no. 9 for showing his love in choosing to not dump his anger towards you. I am inspired every day by the different ways in how people show love.
Very detailed observation and experiment Dianne. I do this experiment too and love it. In my observations the discovery is that almost everyone I have met wants to express with the freedom of children, and the way we are able to allow ourselves to be that, is when someone simply opens the possibility of naturally relating to them in such a way.
Thank you Dianne I always love your scientific studies.
I was always so confused by adult behaviour as a child, they seemed so serious and to value unreservedly things like the news on TV. I myself at that time could only value joy and how my body felt, and the joy of simply being alive. Bit by bit as I grew into adulthood I let some of that go, and it felt awful each time taking on the role as adult. I’m still chipping away at falseness of that role, particularly the seriousness as it’s quite harmful to feel what it does to me, especially when joy feels so innate and natural.
I love the expansiveness I feel when I embrace the inner child, it’s like all the shackles drop off and I find I’m swinging my legs and humming like the worlds not watching…. possibly how I got myself into shackles in the first place, was adjusting to what I gleaned adult behaviours to be and judging my behaviours and shutting them down. Such an inner joy to let myself free to be impulsed in whatever way and appreciate the freedom without self judgement.
I love what you have shared here we can connect with so many people in a day when we truly want to. I also love connecting with children throughout my day, in the shops, in the streets, on public transport there is definitely an openness in them to just be and they see straight through you. You are right we can learn so much from this, I love this its s adorable “Hey, your beanie and mine are related!” and she smiles back with equally no hesitation and tells me about her beanie.’ Not only is it adorable but true because in essence we are all related. Definitely keep wagging and making these connections, it only takes one moment to change someones behaviours for good we just need that reflection of unconditional love from another.
This is an absolutely awesome science experiment Dianne. I really loved reading about the way that we can have a huge impact on others when we reflect a loving way through our movements and actions. There is so much that we can learn from others when we observe rather than react.
Oh, wow, I love this blog Dianne! You are the ultimate scientist, your observations of life, our behaviours, interactions and choices are beautifully exposed in your writing with such clarity. You sum up everything I have felt about our own psyche, but have never articulated, or quite put my finger on… but your observations feel spot on.
What a diary!! Really enjoyed your science experiment Dianne and the insights you came to and shared alongside your own musings. It shows observation can bring deeper understanding.
A genuine reminder that joy, truth, integrity and honesty come from our essence. The immediate connection most children make with each other on meeting is a testament to this.
An enjoyable and fascinating read. There is so much that can be lost from childhood to adulthood should we allow ourselves to get molded by society’s expectations rather than our innate desire to remain connected to ourselves and others within the whole, in playful delight.
The art of watching, it’s the best way if you want to learn. There is a type of watching where you don’t only use your eyes and this watching is with how things feel. I have found my eyes can mirror my feelings and often see things that aren’t there or on the other hand confirm a feeling that is there. When I was reading through this blog I had a sense a feeling of what was being said and the awareness brings me to see that as adults we walk away from a natural part of being. We get caught in the having to do and not the joy to be done. Everything, every moment for most children like walking is simply a joy. They don’t look for the chore they see the joy and express it in every moment. As the saying goes, “you are what you eat” and so if you walk in the chore of life then your eyes will follow but if at any moment you make the joy of life you walk then you will start to turn the tide on the other. It’s not long before any child will find a reason to skip where as adults it’s just something that children do. We were all children once and so if you look and appreciate how they are this is because you are that also, ‘you are what you live’, it’s a choice.
A very enjoyable read of the many ways children can be great teachers in the way we have forgotten to approach life with light-heartedness.
This blog is pure GOLD. There’s so much to learn from. It reveals a lot! What really touched me was the paragraph about the little 10 year old boy:
” by choosing to not dump his anger on me, he is expressing his love for me in his own way. I understand that he finds it easier and safer to be withdrawn so that he doesn’t lash out; that he does not yet have the confidence to connect to the real him. But the mere fact that he restrains his usual anger and chooses his own way to express love, means that he does recognize love, and wants to let me know it. One day it will blossom in him and shine out for all to see, of that I am sure!”.
I could feel myself. Choosing (immense) fear as the way to show love. I bet this is what so many men do. We’re terrified to let our love out, because this hasn’t been accepted by people around us. And so we’ve strayed away from ourselves to such an extent that we’ve actually completely lost the connection to who we in truth are: tender, deeply caring and loving men. As well as cheeky, playful, joyful, sexy, delicate etc. Thank you Dianne Trussell. Your sharings are absolute pearls from heaven, word by word.
Observation is the key to life. And if life is about evolution, which is re-turning to multidimensional awareness, it is our non-judgmental observations that help us understand human behaviour and thus the greater-than-human aspect of us that is found beneath this. That is to say that behind the 3rd dimensional form there is both our 4th dimensional spirit and our 5th dimensional Soul. True observation helps us to see which ‘character’ has the reins in each moment and is thus responsible for steering the human form in a certain way.
The spirit, being that part of us that separated from the body of pure love that is our Soul, has a self-driven agenda that seeks identification and recognition at all costs because it is looking for justification for its departure from Oneness. While the Soul just does what is does best which is live in harmony with others with no agenda but to just be the love that it is/we are.
This is what is so fascinating about watching children and puppies play. You can pinpoint exactly those movements that are impulsed by spirit and those that are impulsed by Soul. As our goal here on Earth is to return to the open-hearted expression of the Soul’s love here on Earth, observing what energy is at play in others helps us to understand what energies are at play within us so we can dismantle all those walls we built to seemingly protect us, but in-truth do nothing but divide us. Brilliant observations Dianne!
I was playing with some children recently at a park and we were playing duck, duck, goose where you all sit in a circle and one person taps people on the head saying duck, until they say goose on 1 person and they have to get up and chase the other.
As we were playing this, a child (not known to any of us) ran up to us, super excited and playful, and asked if he could join us. Of course I said. He beamed from head to toe, and joined in our game. He was younger than the rest so did not really get what he had to do and needed gentle reminders.
What I loved about this moment, is that he came and joined us, no hesitation, brought all of himself (he was a bundle of joy), did not worry about knowing what to do, with the support of others he worked it out and giggled, ran and ducked ducked goosed with the best of us.
It was a truly inspiring moment. You are right Dianne, we have a lot to learn when we observe children.
The word ‘universal flow of life’ says it all for me. We are in it or not! When I am not, there is no child like openness because there is no flow…
This is THE best science experiment Dianne. Children and furry children (our dogs) have much to show us in how to live in the present moment and not bring the past into their greetings, meetings and interactions (excluding where abuse has taken place).
For me this is a true science experiment – studying life and those living it. I have had the joy of sharing a property with two of my grandchildren for the last 10 years and daily I have their gorgeous, although often challenging, reflections cast my way. But yesterday in a clothing shop it was me who started to dance with my eight year old granddaughter, and it was her who was slightly embarrassed (like I used to be), until she let go and joined in the fun. Children are always offering us life lessons, and it’s up to us to let go of ‘I am the adult, therefore I know better’ stance, otherwise these priceless lessons will be lost.
In relation to beanie conversation I almost always chat to people like that and do find most people are very responsive and it is quite unusual for people to not open up and respond when I am open and natural with them. In relation to the puppies I must admit to being glad that not everyone comes up and licks my legs. I like the story about observing the child manipulating their mother – I too find it quite interesting to observe someone observing me catching them out.
I feel so much of what you have expressed Dianne – the longing to be able to express my playfulness and silliness, to lighten life from its ‘adult’ seriousness. I have been connecting to it more and more, thanks to the wonderful relationship I have with my gorgeous husband, where I express my inner clown with no embarrassment or fear of being judged. Feeling safe to be myself with him I am experimenting more and more with being myself with others, and like you say, most respond by melting and opening up which is so beautiful to observe.
It is interesting how we find many of our self destructive ways acceptable for us as adults, but don’t let a child near them until they are ‘old enough’ – some even being illegal because they are known to cause harm – drugs and alcohol are two obvious examples. So we do know what we wouldn’t let a tender, delicate, sensitive and pure body near….. but don’t we have just that same body?
The science of life is by far the most interesting one to study. All the interesting, magical and the most important – the science of energy and it’s movement was missing in the subject of ‘science’ I studied at school.
This is so revealing, Dianne, and shows just how bound up we have become as adults and even more so how this “bound -upness” is instilled in our children at such a young age if we allow it to be. Much to ponder on here.
Great observations Dianne I love seeing children being themselves and not worried about what people think.
I work in a supermarket and it is interesting to observe children as young as 18months being able to manipulate parents at the check out, they know their favourite foods have gone into the basket or trolly and they observer the mother putting them on the conveyor belt or the self check out and they start to play up just when the croissant or snacks are going through. It is like a tap being turned on, but if I can catch their eye and look directly at them they stop because they know the game they are playing.
‘How is it that adult life becomes so serious, so burdened, that we constantly look for ways to numb and escape?’ – Brilliant blog, brilliant question – it is horrible to realise that the majority of us simply transform from innocence and natural playfulness into hardness, seriousness and sceptisism. I love your new approach to life Dianne – thanks for sharing.
Awesome read Dianne – thank you and I have asked myself the question about what happens that we leave our ‘childish’ ways and become how we think we need to be as an adult and for some before reaching adulthood? I work with young children and love observing their naturalness and mine with them as the same ease I do not always have with adults which means my responses and the openess of the realtionship with adults varies. I find with children it ‘just ‘is’ what it is in that moment and no matter how difficult one day is the next is a new interaction. I know this does not happen with adults, but why? I am going to observe and ponder on this more as it gives great insight into our learned behaviours.
Beautiful Dianne I am so enjoying reading this and relating to it all. The child inside wants to be let out to play and all the constrictions and stuff accumulated to be let go of healed and in the simplicity and play full ness of the flow way of being like the child with in us all forever learning with life in the world and to live the love we all are.Thank you for this amazing sharing.
I’ve held that same kind of unwavering stillness on numerous occasions around misbehaving children and yes, they hate it for all the reasons you describe… unless you get to break through the wall, as you say. It’s fascinating to see active, adult, mischievous spirits at work in such young bodies. We’ve all been around the block many, many times and know exactly what games to play!
Our young ones and animals alike reflect a simplicity in life that is easily related to because it connects to the same within us.
We can learn so much from children, and if we appreciate just how wise and clever they naturally are rather than dismissing them as ‘younger’ or ‘inferior’ for any reason they can be the most amazing teachers!
Ha ha Diane, I love you. Amazing blog and yes children and dogs are incredible to watch. Dogs do not hold grudges they teach us about love. Yes they might slink away or hide when someone raises their voice even not at them, but after it’s done and over they come back tail wagging and show love to that person – they don’t hold onto or holdback anything. I giggle as I know a person well who has a dog, this person doesn’t like stopping and speaking to people, the dog does. So in an advertent way the dog is supporting this person to be open and connect with people. In regards to kids I see them everyday, the stillness of a newborn baby can and does bring me back to my body instantly, I love to watch the freedom and lightness of a child’s movements – it’s a great reflection and marker of wait a minute why do I move my body so heavy and restrained. I also love how they don’t hold how they feel back, for example a little boy I don’t know well as soon as I saw him, said I love you. Children are amazing. There is so much to learn from them, but in turn that amazing child we love and see reflected to us in other children and in the movements they make, is still inside us all. I watched a grown man the other day when I was out for a walk, walking along a thin piece of raised wood by a path, balancing with each step, arms out, just like a child would. It was joyful to see and made me smile with my whole body. I also love it when kids genuinely say ooops or woopsie to a mistake and move in, that’s it, no big deal. There is so much joy to be had and so much everyday to appreciate in life. Sometimes we don’t see it when we are caught up in self, or focusing on negative things. A bit like missing out or choosing to not see an amazing sunrise that’s with us in each and every moment and every day consistently.
I love the simplicity of your observations – open, non-judgmental, with a sense of wonderment and intrigue. This is where science and art meet and you are a master of it.
I think its awesome Dianne how you have illustrated how much we can learn by just simply observing the many different reflections that are constantly on offer.
It seems as we age all the systems we have created and become more involved in such as education, work, political etc are all so demanding of us. Reading this raised the question what if the traits of a child are the natural traits of an adult also?
Never mind the quantitative analysis Dianne, this is qualitative research at its purest and, what’s more, it’s a joy to read! Thank you for this magnificent research and true science – an invaluable contribution to human understanding and growth, accessible and relatable.
I always enjoy reading your experiments and observations Dianne. Your willingness to explore these observations have been an inspiration for me to do the same, Thank you.
I had a little chat with a friend’s grandson yesterday, it was so joyful. We giggled and laughed at something that he thought was funny, and showed me the funny side of it too. It felt very simple to return to this feeling in a child’s world, when we think we’ve grown up, we’ve really lost it.
Beautiful Diane, Science at its finest!