Over the past year I experienced a couple of difficult conflict situations. I didn’t handle either of them well, going into reaction without reading what was truly being offered for me to understand life at a deeper level. I collapsed in a heap both times, taking things very personally.
Those around me looked on. I felt guilty that I was unable to reflect to them a way of being that was inspiring. I wasn’t strong, steady or rational. In fact, I felt quite the opposite.
The guilt around this has for a long time preoccupied me, until just recently when I realised something very important.
My focus may have been on my meltdown, but the situation – when considered as a whole – offered so much more.
As I go through these difficult times, I certainly have had moments where the situation got on top of me and I felt unable to respond in the way that I would have liked to, but each time it happens I find myself able to call on other people, including Esoteric Practitioners, to provide support and clarity. I am committed to explore and understand the situation on a deeper level. I want to get to the point where I find the ‘gap’ and close the door so that forevermore I can become steadier and respond to these situations with love. This might take days, weeks or even months, but when I bounce back I take another step and am more aware and more knowing than ever before. I don’t just accept these difficult situations, bury them, or stay in reaction; I become determined to understand them.
I have realised that this is the true and whole reflection that is offered to others. I am a human being and will go through difficult periods and moments just like everyone else, but it is how I respond to whatever has been presented to me that is the important part.
Sometimes I may tell myself that these challenges are getting harder, but I don’t actually feel this is true. As we each unfold and begin to know how powerful we really are, we become ready for the next situation that will help us heal even more. We are innately ready for each situation that presents, although it may not feel like this at the time. And there is certainly no denying the fact that when we turn on the television and see what is happening around the world, that some people are dealing with horrendous situations, and yet those very people have only the choice to collapse or to heal and get back up.
Guilt is not necessary here – that we are not able to always stand strong. Life can be difficult but once we heal, those types of situations may not affect us in the same way again.
The real and amazing reflection is indeed the part where we get back up, become determined to understand and heal, and where we bring even more of our amazing selves to life than ever before.
So you may see me fall down from time to time, but just wait and see, for I’ll get back up.
Just watch, and see.
By Maree Savins, Australia