Sometime ago while attending one of the Universal Medicine presentations, I got to talking with a dear lady friend of mine, sharing our experiences. As we talked I became aware of how close our bodies were to each other. We were standing in the hallway, which was quite crowded with people going to and fro. Being this close and looking into my friend’s big deep blue eyes felt very intimate and beautiful.
As we continued sharing I sensed a feeling come over my body. It was as if a shadow had passed through me and in its passing I could feel it pulling me back into hiding, a very familiar way I had lived my life and not just this life, but for many lives.
I was born into this world with a disease called Neurofibromatosis – it was very mild and not picked up until my sixties – which I feel was the result of a complete denial of my light, the truth of who I am deep within and where I truly come from.
It was interesting to see the path I took as a young child of wanting to serve God. I grew up with the idea that self-sacrifice for the good of others was ‘good,’ with none of ‘me’. I didn’t want a ‘me’, and that is exactly what it was, I was caught up in the being ‘good’ and doing ‘good,’ with none of my true self. Religion for me was a perfect place to hide, a huge illusion of thinking I was with God doing his work while all the time hiding and denying my light.
I went and stayed with another dear friend that night after the talk and pondered on what had taken place. The next morning I awoke with these words, “I want to be raw and uncut.” They were such powerful words for me, I wanted to hide no more, I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok.
During my life I was always apologising, saying sorry for this or that; even if it wasn’t my fault so to speak, it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air.
The uncut part was interesting, it was like a movie going through the editing process where the story would be reviewed and little by little the undesirable parts or the parts that did not fit into what the movie wanted to convey, were cut out.
This was my life, literally cut to pieces with all the parts that made me real and a part of this world, cut out, discarded unacknowledged. Why? Because they did not fit the picture of the ‘good’ and the ‘right,’ the picture I had been sold and had taken on, as the way to God.
So what did not fit in with the ‘picture’ of ‘good’ did not even exist in my line of sight; I was like one of the three wise monkeys not wanting to hear, see, or speak what life was really about. I wanted to be perfect. I held onto the bible text that said “Whatsoever is good true and holy, think on these things.” So you see this cut out a lot of life by putting on those rose coloured glasses. Of course I often slipped and fell from the ‘good’ and the ‘right’ which brought with it times of regret, remorse and condemnation, and then a needing of God’s forgiveness for never being good enough.
Looking back now, from where I am today. I just shake my head at how empty and in denial I was to have taken this on and all in the name of God. But what God? Not the true God that I have come to now know, the God who touches my heart and holds me in absolute love, but a false God – one who judges and condemns, with no love or compassion for the fragility of my being.
I have come across people in my life that I have felt drawn to, simply because of their openness, their realness, showing the rawness in just being who they are, no apologies no excuses. In them I saw an honesty that I was not able to give myself because I was so tied up, literally, with the ‘good’ and ‘right.’
Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.
I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.
By Jill Steiner, Tweed Heads South, Australia
Related Reading:
Living a religious life – connecting to the divine within
Stories from people in religion, who look just like you and me
My Connection to God and Finding Real Religion
Words on Serge Benhayon 
Thanks Jill as much is learnt from us being responsive to life without any reaction and thus we sleep and eat to serve our body and deepen our relationship with God.
“And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” Magnificent.
I find the word God very difficult to say because it has been taken by the many forms of religion and misinterpreted so that many of us baulk at the word. I wonder if this has been done deliberately so that we never want to actually take the time to discover the true meaning of the word God. What is the truth of the word God?
Great question Mary and could it be the development of the Love and space we all come from and thus being in the presence of the innate God that is within us all equally if we remain open to who we Truly are. Then is it any wonder that the so called religions pray on our worthy-ness to be an equal to God?
Thank you Jill, being good and right and serving God is an absolute un-truth that I for one have lived with all my life. All under the guise of serving God as such, yet what God is that again the God that does not exist, except on the outside of me. I have also come to feel the God within in my evolving process of living life in a totally different way and as you say with no perfection.
I love reading this Jill, being raw and uncut is something we need in society, and I can see I still have more work to do myself on living un-edited. “… they did not fit the picture of the ‘good’ and the ‘right,’ the picture I had been sold and had taken on, as the way to God.” What touched me about this line was “the way to God”, as we have this thing that most of what we think we need is outside of ourselves, it’s a place to get to, a destination, even our relationship with God, instead of it being ready made and the move we need to make is actually to just go deeper within. We seem to find it preposterous that we are enough, and there are so many messages in education, the media, magazines, religion, etc, that we are not good enough, that there is a place we need to get to to be acceptable, enough, and so on – it’s quite abusive really when you think about it. The more I reconnect to my inner essence, the true me, and deepen within into it, the more I realise we have it back to front, we are amazing beings and fully connected to God, but we left it and separated from ourselves so then began the chase outside of ourselves to be something. Thank you Jill.
Jill several years on I would love to know how this unfolded for you.
“Of course I often slipped and fell from the ‘good’…” I’ve been looking at feeling or doing good or bad in my own life, which is such a set up, as soon as I drop from doing well there’s that harsh thought process waiting to say “that’s not good/you’re not doing good” which can lead to me being harsh with myself, instead of “Am I being love and if not, how can I love myself back right now?” With the beliefs about being or doing good or bad it’s like a knife edge, it always has a tension of trying to stay with the good, or the awful feeling of the bad, but love has none of that.
Being intimate, which energetically is letting people in then we can not but then move into it’s twin sister appreciation, and this is all post the Joy we are living, and to simply appreciate knocks out any form of judge-meant.
It is very liberating when we can see through the game we play. It feels yucky to be playing small. It suffocates us but somehow we get off on that. And it suits so well with believing in a god who is judgemental as it guarantees a personal relationship with him where we would forever be condemned for being not good enough.
Fumiyo Egashira I agree with you it does feel yucky playing small but we must be getting something out of it or we wouldn’t do it.
We are sensitive beings and there is nothing weak about this. In fact, true sensitivity is a strength and is simply put as our capacity to feel all there is to feel around us. Often we shut this down because we are not sure of how to handle what we feel or do not like all that we feel, but really it is about being OK with feeling what we are feeling. And so sensitivity becomes a gift, a means for us to know exactly what is going on and when and where.
Henrietta I really appreciate your comment, what has brought clarity to me was how focused we are on thinking, and how little support we receive to honour what we feel, or develop ways to understand what’s happening within us and respond in a self-caring way. It’s like we have sectioned off feeling and sensitivity, and numbed ourselves from feeling it, but we can’t stop what we are sensing and feeling, just distance ourselves from it.
It’s a beautiful read Jill thank you. We subscribe to pictures of how life is to be but we don’t stop and ask who these pictures are coming from, or what the intent is behind them, we just give our power to them. This is something I need to look at also, as when we chase pictures we are disconnected from our beautiful selves and allowing an emptiness that the picture promises to fill.
What a wonderful honest blog Jill – Thank you. I love this sentence: “And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” This is for me the ultimative way of living!
We get so caught up in pictures, in right and wrong that we completely forget that there is no perfection and that it is totally ok not to be!
Doug what you have shared is very beautiful, But we allowed this institution to take over and for millions it still dominates their life. Is this because we didn’t want to take responsibility for our actions? Was it easier to live a lesser life then go to a priest say a few ‘hail Mary’s’ give money to the church and all our sins would be forgiven? This feels such a cop out but we still do it !
I feel we are fed this false picture of God from some main stream religions and once we allow these thoughts or pictures to enter our bodies then we are capped from knowing any different. It’s very difficult to get out of the mud when you are in it and surrounded by it. It take someone else who is not in the mud to point out where we are and what we are doing. Only then is there a possibility to extract oneself out of it.
Jill you are spot on – life is about being raw and uncut – no edits, no perfections or trying to make it look like something, just simply allowing the honesty for us to be where we are at and how we are at any given time. And always the knowing that we are here to learn and deepen our relationship with our Soul and that with the Soul we cannot hide, for it is about letting everyone see who we all truly are.
Part of intimacy is about being free to feel and express what one is feeling in full honesty with oneself or another. This can be a scary thing to deepen as there seems no end to this beauty in the vulnerability that we can feel – but each step towards this is a step towards deepening our relationship with self and all others.
I have noticed recently people coming close to me or asking me to be close to them. At times I could feel a little a discomfort in my body however I chose to work through it immediately allowing myself to drop deeper into my body to feel the intimacy between myself and the other. I held myself setting a marker of physically being close to another and feeling comfortable in my own skin. It is indeed very beautiful when we allow ourselves to connect more deeply to one another by addressing what comes up within us.
Great that you held a marker of this for yourself in your body and could feel the difference of when we let energetic barriers down how beautifull it is just to be with another.
I so recognise apologising for being alive, which I now know to be a total waste of time and a cop-out for not shinning. Adhering to any lies that say we are worthless is such a waste and I look forward to the day when we raise our children to hold onto the love that they are and know.
I think I could safely say, ‘apology’ was my middle name. It kept me small and as you say, Julie it was a real cop-out for not shining.
We do so much but often our doings are what stands in the way of us simply being and enjoying being who we are.
A lot of people are fascinated by bloopers and out-takes from movies. We want to see what goes on behind the scenes. Perhaps this shows we are all aware, consciously or otherwise, that our lives are an edited version and we are missing out on the real, uncut version.
‘Good’ and ‘right’- just reading these words to describe how we live conjures a lot of discomfort. We are walking around so far from our realness and truth. What would happen if we edged into being ‘Raw and uncut’ instead?
I can very much relate Jill. We can walk around being all sorts of things to all sorts of people, but are we being real? Is this truth? Have we scratched the surface of who we are beyond all the things we’ve tried and pretended to be?
Self-sacrificing for the good of others may sound as pure altruism. But, it is a strategy that has self at both its core and its primary goal (the idea of keeping self in a very downgraded position) fed by the recognition given by others.
Living with teenagers has really exposed where I do good and right and wrong. All they want is for us to be ‘raw and uncut’ because their radar for lies and hypocrisy is full on. I can remember when I was a teenager how I craved adults just saying the truth and hated game playing.
Aimee what you have said resonates with me, all through my life I have hated when people told me lies as I could feel that’s exactly what they were, lies. Or, when people try to brush things under the carpet pretending something doesn’t exist when it absolutely does. I have an in built radar for when someone is not telling the truth and also I know when I’m not telling the truth, I can feel it in my body as an unsettlement.
The need for perfectionism is not something that comes from the soul because the soul knows we cannot be perfect in this plane of life.
Being caught up in being ‘good’ and ‘right.’ is a killer. It crushes so much of our natural beautiful joyful playful powerful delicate truth bringing selves.
Allowing oneself to see all there is to see about oneself is very helpful in finding out and unraveling all those habits that we have adapted to cope with this world.
I love the revelation you have come to here Jill. Being identified with what we do and measuring ourself by this, serves only to remove and separate us from the innermost essence. How liberating to be aware that ‘What we do is NOT who we are’.
“Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am”.
How beautiful and deeply inspiring this is Jill, from being governed by ideals and beliefs of perfectionism, nice, and good, to the revelation of being the truth of who you really are. “I want to be raw and uncut.” They were such powerful words for me, I wanted to hide no more, I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok.
It is great to expose the ‘internal editor’ that is always changing, editing, cutting and adding according to what is seen and felt from the outside. It is not much different than the photoshopping that is being used everywhere these days, the raw truth is being covered with a sleek veneer that we say is beautiful but through its emptiness (as not from within) comes nowhere near the true beauty that is in our rawness.
There is nothing more honoring of God and humanity then being all of who we are, raw and uncut in all the beauty, glory and magnificence.
Slowing ourselves to be totally transparent is like taking the lid off, and when we live in that transparency of being all that we are, we realise that there is no need to hide.
Coming closer to ones own soul means deepening the intimacy with everyone at the same time. Reconnecting to this intimacy and letting go of the pressure of needing to play a role or to protect towards another is pure joy to me.
When we are open to being and sharing all that we are we can meet and inspire others to feel the joy of appreciating all that they are.
Allowing ourselves to be totally transparent is the best form of protection that we can have.
As our body is open and don´t absorb situations in the outside but observing from a stillness point of view. That doesn´t change the incident, but we have more space to handle the situation and read what is truly energetically going on, before we might get drawn or pulled into the humanly story.
I would agree Elizabeth as in the allowing ourselves to be open we can see all that is coming at us exactly for what it truly is and from the connection within ourselves we will know exactly how to deal with it.
The absoluteness of your self-acceptance, Jill, is inspiring. It is so freeing to no longer be bound by the shackles of self-loathing and even condemnation, but instead open up to the truth that God has been lovingly holding us without judgement the whole time and it was only we who banished ourselves from the grace of love.
Being good and right is a total killjoy but gets so many of us. Awesome work on stepping outside the vicious hold of ‘good and right’ and returning to live as you.
Going into right and wrong is so sneaky sometimes. Claiming a truth and not seeing it as right and comparing it to another as right is a very fine line. I am exploring and learning every day as it is something so ingrained and familiar to go into.
It sure is Sarah, judgement is also a massive killjoy. I’ve been letting it go bit by bit and I’ve found how exhausting it is to hold myself and others in. But I’m finding all emotions are exhausting and take us further away from love.
When we are raw and uncut there is always an honesty to us that cannot be ignored.
In this life the greatest freedom we can know and live is in our surrender to being all that we truly are within. Through our connection to our Soul we realise our inescapable connection to God and our divinity. It is this quality that defines who we are and guides us to freely live the love we innately are.
There must be absolute lies out there about God, as it makes sure, that no one gets in any way shape or form awaken to the fact that we are also all God. If we would embrace that fact- the world would be nothing like it is today.
It is true Stefanie, the world today exists and has been created based on lies, lies that reflect to us that we are not Godly, multidimensional or divine. When we begin to honor the impulses of our Soul, which are ever-present within, we discover the is so much more for us to live and that which we are part of, as such our Livingness then is what brings true change and realness to life.
We have given our knowing away and allowed ourselves to be misled, we have been mostly taught that God is angry, vengeful, a tyrant etc., so in order not to rile him we have to be good and compliant. But this is totally false, a complete lie in every sense. Why have we given ourselves over to the lies rather than discerning the truth of God for ourselves?
What I love about your comment Mary is the reminder that we know God imminently, our connection with Him is internal and is never broken, only ignored.
Raw and uncut feels to me to be a place of absolute honesty about what we are observing both within ourselves and within others which, if we do not react, brings great understanding to all situations.
It is a receiving instead of a “looking out” . The moment you live YOU, you then have a reference point in your body, if whatever you receive relates to your inner being or if it feels disturbing. It comes from a leaning back and an openness instead of protection.
This habit of apologising for oneself, once we start to be aware of it, both in other people and ourselves, it really starts to stand out. And also be recognised for what it is.
Being ‘raw and uncut’ is the most precious ways of expression that I’ve ever seen in people. It shows me that is ok feeling whatever is coming up in my body and I can express it just like it is, with no perfection. This is being a huge process for me as I’ve moulded my expression depending the situation that I were in for so long… but I feel really inspired by The Way of the Livingness to be more real and transparent step by step, this feels like true freedom actually.
I have had similar experiences – when another simply presents love we can become very aware of our automatic mechanisms.
‘During my life I was always apologising, saying sorry for this or that; even if it wasn’t my fault so to speak, it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air.’ – this is such an important thing that I am working on. The more self conscious and lacking in worth i am, the more i find myself apologising for EVERYTHING – and it becomes a form of beating myself down every time I say it when its not needed or not my fault because I am essentially apologising for my existence and it’s so unhealthy.
Apologising is a great way not to encounter jealousy but, as you describe, it carries a heavy price.
If we sacrifice ourselves for god or for men, we are saying bye to our kidney energy and our life force, a choice to remain powerless to be controlled in the game of illusion.
The irony is that we are the same as God, and yet you thought you could hide from being that –but serve him at the same time. Beautifully exposed Jill, as so many are caught in that illusion of good.
“It was interesting to see the path I took as a young child of wanting to serve God. I grew up with the idea that self-sacrifice for the good of others was ‘good,’ with none of ‘me’. I didn’t want a ‘me’, and that is exactly what it was, I was caught up in the being ‘good’ and doing ‘good,’ with none of my true self. Religion for me was a perfect place to hide, a huge illusion of thinking I was with God doing his work while all the time hiding and denying my light.”
The word “uncut” is really interesting, it’s a bit like we edit a movie of our life (so everything we see, do, experience) to be precisely what we want to show the world. We might cut out the bad bits, or leave the dramatic bits in, or add extra romantic scenes – or whatever – but ultimately we are always controlling what we experience and what we want to the world think about us and our lives. I love the idea of “raw and uncut” – no long hours editing or manipulating our image – just the pure simplicity of life in all it’s imperfections.
And this manipulation gets us into self abusive behaviour for not just living it ‘raw and uncut’.
Raw and uncut asks us to be transparent, let go of protection and be willing to be ‘a student’.
Yes Monika, beautifully expressed, it just is. With no perfection.
There are many lies we take on, all stopping us from connecting and walking with God. Many lies that one by one need to be seen and exposed for the delay they are.
I really appreciate how much there is in this blog of how we can live in illusion. There are so many ideals and beliefs that we take on that keep us from the ‘raw and uncut’, the purity of our beingness. “Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” I feel the same Jill and so appreciate the spaciousness and freedom that it brings to life.
I am with you Jill, a permission and allowing of the freedom to just be. Not needing to be anything or anyone but just a body of surrender and feel all that is and should not be.
it is in those little moments that we get the biggest revelations, these crisp clear voices give us the key to truth in life which we will never understand if we’re on the quest to find them from the outside.
Meeting really ‘real’, down to earth people is always so interesting, and can actually be a breath of fresh air when ourselves we have been living a falsely ‘perfected’ life. The amazing conversations we find ourselves having with people who are open and honest can actually be the kind of conversations we have with everyone, and it comes down to how open we are and whether we’re up for learning as we go but constantly expressing and connecting without a facade.
‘It was as if a shadow had passed through me and in its passing I could feel it pulling me back into hiding, a very familiar way I had lived my life and not just this life, but for many lives.’ The way you’ve described this makes it very clear that when we hide or hold back it is not who we truly are but an ingrained pattern that tries to take over so it needs us to feel an choose the raw and uncut, without expectations but an acceptance of the process of letting go.
Isn’t it interesting Jill that the version of God and religion you were sold as a child left you much less then who you are and always feeling like you would never be good enough. How far have we strayed then from knowing God in truth, a God that holds us forever in unconditional love and knows us for who we are, his absolute equal.
A great exposure of how self is in the benevolent: I didn’t want a ‘me’, and that is exactly what it was, I was caught up in the being ‘good’ and doing ‘good,’
Uncut, yes, we do tend to edit what we express in order to be liked, to not cause a reaction and to avoid being put down. But in doing so we are putting ourselves down instead of fully honouring what we feel and who we are. We cannot be anything but ourselves, anything else is a pretence, a false image that serves no-one.
I would love to know more how this has unfolded for you it seems quite a bit step for you to let go of being ‘good’ (which I am sure many can relate to) and instead be raw and uncut.
It is amazing how far we will go in our attempt to make the perfect picture, to make life look good and confirm that we are okay, rather than know we are okay and being willing to see life as it truly is and not seeing it as a reflection on our worth.
When we stop looking at things in our lives as either right or wrong the whole world as we know it begins to shift. This happens naturally as we strip back the walls of protection we have built, opening ourselves up to what is next, and what is next may just come with a life lesson that we are ready for.
“Right” and “good” take us away from knowing truth.
What you say about thinking that you were with God while hiding and denying your light is huge. This illusion has blinded so many. It is very beautiful when we come to a space of simplicity of what is, all the complexities of what is not get revealed.
If we view all that is at the surface to be seen as a moment we can chose to clear it, we can take a moment to appreciate where we are at. We are at a moment of choice to move in a different way so not to continue a pattern.
Allowing us to feel what is there to be felt in our bodies… To be so connected with our bodies that we can get the messages that are always there to be read…this is what humanity needs to do now.
To just be without judgement, pictures or attachment is deeply freeing and offers the same to others by way of reflection.
Very inspiring it helped me to see how I am not as transparent as I could be with all in my life. I would love to know how this has unfolded for you.
Giving ourselves permission to express how we truly feel, that we have value and are not to be dismissed either by ourselves or others is part of taking responsibility for the space we occupy in the Universe.
‘Good’ can be quite insidious and hard to shake off – a sold good that has us hoodwinked and keeps us bound until we see through it.
So often we present a shiny surface of ‘looking good’ to the outside world, and it in fact can be a lie. Raw and Uncut has an honesty to it, a transparency to it, and has the great beauty of this honesty with it.
It’s so beautiful to read this blog and all the comments and feel so many people committed to being real, raw and uncut, to simply be their true selves out in the world and invite others to do the same – thank you.
It is very interesting how religion and the ‘good’ that it sells completely negates the truth of how life is being lived. Interesting as it completely negates any chance of one choosing a life style of grace of intimately knowing themselves, such that we learn our harmful behaviours and halt them. It stops one from evolving back to the beauty grace and truth of ones soul.
Being good and right is very acceptable in society. Being raw and uncut not so much. Why is that? Well aside from social expectations on what is polite, there is another part – for me I know what it feels like when I am faced with another being so vulnerable and open – I then have to feel everything about myself, my actions, my movements, my thoughts and it can be very exposing. It’s much easier if someone else stays closed as then I too can. But staying in our self-imposed prisons only means we’ll stay there and whilst we might be comfortable because it’s all we’ve known for so long there is a world of wonder outside of the prison ground.
“Raw and uncut” – reminds me of a diamond in the rough that just needs to be polished. We are all that diamond, someone who just needs to connect to their inner beauty and let themselves shine.
I love raw and uncut- it lets you be seen and others access you in a true way. The most beautiful connection possible.
I love that you shared this Jill and I love rereading this blog over and over. I can so relate as this was me up until I was about 16 and then I rebelled and became very depressed and self destructive. This is a very inspiring read as it speaks to us the reader letting us know that it is never too late to turn our lives around.
There is nothing to hide when we re-connect to and appreciate the preciousness of who we truly are.
I had a strong feeling of wanting to step back and hide at work yesterday. It happens less and less but its a familiar pattern of mine. Luckily a dear friend was there to encourage me not to go there. I really do appreciate the support I get from people around me and the fact that we are all in this life to help one another.
To allow ourselves to be seen and felt in all our glory is one of the most beautiful things we can do for ourselves and for another. It is an absolute confirmation of who we are, and offers others the opportunity to be inspired to be all of who they are as well.
Raw and uncut asks us to be transparent, to feel vulnerable and fragile, to see this as a strength and not a weakness, an openness to be more honest and truthful to ourselves and what life is truly about.
Appreciating the raw and uncut within, lets the light shines through
The more raw we allow ourselves to be, the greater the transparency we offer others as well as permission for them also to come out of hiding and reveal themselves in full.
Embracing our fragility and vulnerability allows us to be transparent to another and in that we are capable to receive and be more of whom we truly are.
We rely on right and wrong as a form of protection, for if there we allowed ourselves to simply feel whatever is there to be felt with no judgement there would be no need for this – only the support to surrender to what is.
Right or wrong is simply a fight. It taints your senses as well so that you are not able to see the truth in a situation anymore and it asks you to not take responsibility for whatever happened. Right and wrong is true evil in conversations, which needs to be called out, otherwise you can get lost in it very easy. I am talking out of personal experience 😉
There is a lot of ‘having to proof’ that comes with right and wrong / good and bad. Like we and the naked truth are not enough.
“Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” This is beautiful Jill. I am still unpicking the ‘it’s not what I do’ piece as from an early age this was inculcated into us as children – and still remains strong in me. But if we are not accepting and appreciating who we are first – feeling deeply connected in our inner heart – how can anything we do be of value?
To feel our vulnerability is an ongoing process of acceptance of our grandness.
It is ok to feel raw and vulnerable and if we are honest this always open up more responsibility to be empowered.
And it does melt another- looking in someones eyes that are raw and fragile is superbeautiful and always an invitation for more intimacy. It reminds us of us and what we very often miss to live in our lives.
I have come to really like that feeling of being raw and transparent and what has helped with this is allowing myself to let go of the hurts that I was carrying.
It goes to show that we all know true from false and the conscious choice we make to lead the lives that we do, in accordance with our true impulses or against our core knowing.
When we are raw and uncut with who we are and how we then express we find just how simple life can be and the tension and or stress we had placed on ourselves to be good and right simply melt away. Transparency teaches us a lot about who we are and how much more there is to share too.
Love it Jill, ‘raw and uncut’ is really the only way we can be if we want to have that deep connection with God you talk about, everything else is but a complication.
Life is far more simple when we allow ourselves to be who we truly are without censoring ourselves or others.
When we truly learn to be ourselves in life, life can just flow, it doesn’t have to be struggle, but there is a magic and flow to it. It becomes very simple and joyful.
I relate to what you shared here about the shadow that passed through you, asking you to withdraw. It can be all too easy to shut down when we feel too much. But what I love about this sharing is that you saw this and chose to be raw and uncut. We are not this often enough, with ourselves or each other. But in this we are holding back the beauty of those intimate relationships and connections with others.
I love the last paragraph – the freedom we can give ourselves to be ourselves, feel whatever comes up without any judgement but a loving understanding, that then we reflect to others.
After many years of living a lesser version of me than was possible I made the choice to strip back all the layers of ideals, beliefs and life experiences that were keeping me from knowing the true me. It was at times a painful process and the rawness so uncomfortable but like with any wound it eventually began to heal. What was revealed under the scab of the wound was a wonderful woman, the one I has always been looking for and who I had almost given up on finding. The amazing thing was that she had been there with me all of the time, I was simply looking in the wrong direction.
To serve God or to serve in the name of God we cannot but be ourselves as much as we can.
How freeing it is to realise that we are not the sum total of our actions , achievements or failures but we are each grand beyond measure. It is then simply a case of whether we are choosing to express and be all that we naturally are or whether we are playing this down to varying extents..
Yes, it is so freeing – and the fact even with a back catalogue of choices of not choosing the grandness of who we are that doesn’t ever prohibit us from living that grandness.
What I am finding is the more we allow our ourselves to surrender to where we are at and our connection to our movements within that I have found a great shift in how I express exactly what I feel in that moment and the beauty of that is then reflected in my connections with others. We are able to share all of who we are without fear and or judgement and others feel that intimacy too.
It is the transparency where we discover the real joy of our innate qualities that really brings such richness to life. Through sharing our qualities of vulnerability, fragility and the delicateness of our movements we begin to ignite tenderness within our relationships and we see the true essence of who we are come to it’s full power.
I can relate to this Jill; ‘I didn’t want a ‘me’’ Interesting isn’t it that we apologise for being here and taking in space. We don’t want to be seen or heard. The moment we take responsibility for being here, in a body, we feel more and more who we are and how we are needed in this world by just being our true selves, reflecting the love we feel inside.
Living in the authority of who we are, without apology or compromise of the truth we are is the only true way forward for humanity.
Being raw and uncut is surrendering to the expression and flow of who we are and it is only when we try to control or protect ourselves from hurts that we cut this natural expression down to size. Being raw brings a great level of strength in vulnerability and honesty to all connections and this can only build deeper relationships all round.
When I calibrate and control myself I’m limiting the natural flow of my expression. There’s no need of this kind of interference as there’s nothing richer and more fulfilling than being as I am, raw and uncut.
I can relate to the being right – that gate keeper that keeps us shackled, holding back all the wisdom we have to share by continually questioning, ‘do you really want to share that’, ‘are you absolutely sure’ …? I am learning more and more every day to respond with a resounding yes, to claim myself in full and know that whatever I am feeling, it is there to share.
It’s only through being raw & uncut that we give ourselves the opportunity to move forward, make mistakes, learn and evolve.
When we allow ourselves to be raw and uncut we let go of the need to constantly edit what we say and do by recalibrating to the world around us instead of simply being ourselves in full, imperfections and all.
Beautiful to feel Jill how you are enjoying your freedom of not needing to be perfect and welcoming what is there, being honest, raw and uncut.
Thank you Gill for your honest sharing. To be ourselves in this life is all that we can ask.
Life in the raw can be confronting but there is no other way to Heaven except to be honest and feel and know the ‘raw and uncut’ as it is. There is a beauty in this allowing no matter how confronting the facts are.
Picking up the raw pieces from the editing floor and reclaiming and showing them is initially scary but with time becomes not only normal but a glorious blockbuster.
You touched on a great point in your last line Jill, ‘freedom’. It’s freedom we feel when we have felt, seen and nominated something that has owned our movements for far to long, and then chose to move in a way that says no to this in our lives.
Life is not about ‘good’ and ‘right’ but about completely being ourselves.. awesome blog Jill and a reminder that our number one job is to just be who we really are. To let go of all the things we think we need to be, and allow ourselves to be just as we are, knowing that this is more than enough.
True transparency is a beautiful thing because in that we’re not putting out a facade, just being open and honest without dumping on another or being indulgent in emotion. And by not putting out a facade we give others the inspiration to see that it’s ok to be open too and that we don’t have to be ‘perfect’.
I often reflect on this blog when I feel the rawness of another layer of protection coming up to be noticed and discarded. The feeling is definitely ‘raw’ and quite fragile but if I can stay with it and not be afraid of that feeling, I notice that it becomes normal and I find I am more tender with myself. Your blog has really supported that process. Thank you.
This really exposes the complicated manoeuvres we employ in order to fit a picture of ideal. We would not have known it unless we have a taste of what it is like without it. Beautiful to feel the spaciousness that has opened for you, Jill.
A beautiful blog to read Jill. I love how being raw and uncut allows our divinity to shine through.
Thank you Jill is it not lovely when we feel the truth and then we known instantly what is not true. There is no real or false God there is just God. God cannot be false, its just humans selling lies .
It goes to show that in striving to be perfect, we go against our true flow and are at odds with ourselves… there is little wonder that a great tension results from living in a way that is contrary to our body’s natural intelligence and our infinite wisdom.
Accepting me for who I am and where I’m at is the most loving thing I can offer myself.
Beautiful honesty Jill, this awareness and honesty with yourself is what allows healing and evolution to occur.
Well expressed, Jenny, as it is only through complete truth and honestly can true healing occur.
Yes jstewart, we don’t realise the significance of getting honest as a starting point. If we cannot be clear what our starting point is, then there is no clear way forward from that point. It makes perfect sense really. Mostly we try to work back from symptoms and discontents, which usually leads to any number of solutions or remedies to address what is immediate and uncomfortable. This however doesn’t support a true healing process unless at the same time we begin the honesty of why we are where we are.
Living life based on good and right offers us only an illusion of that which an be lived, it’s never real as to live in true harmony can only be achieved from the truth of our soul.
Well said Francisco.
‘Good’ and ‘right’ are two things that keep us away from being who we are, the attempt to be good and right is measured against what society thinks is good and right when there can only be truth.
Jill, this is beautiful and as I read it I felt the layers of protection and control loosen their hold as I surrendered more in my body.
Being raw and uncut brings a deeper understanding to our world and allows us to access a greater awareness of where we are at without judgement but a curiosity to the patterns or old movements we may still carry that fit a certain belief or image of what we see as being us when in truth it is just an old well used momentum we hold onto for comfort. Seeing these patterns for what they are and allowing ourselves the space to explore and release why we do them gives our bodies the freedom to express in full and the difference in our movements is exquisitely healing too.
There is something quite haunting about this image of cutting out parts of our life that do not fit in with the picture of who we are. The enforced perfection of living to an ideal. All those fragments we leave out can’t really be discarded, they float down into our bodies through a lifetime and resurface be that as dis-ease, behaviours or just a disconnection to the all. How can we feel everything if we have already cut ourselves into pieces?
A beautiful, honest and inspirational sharing Lucy, thank you. Today as I read through your blog I could really resonate, and was struck by, what you expressed here;
“I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability”.
‘‘good’ and the ‘right” are one of our greatest forms of protection – we can tick all of the boxes in life, yet not reveal the deeper layers of who we are.
After reading your blog the other day and commenting I had one of the most raw days I can ever remember and in the midst of it I came back to the words raw and uncut. By choosing to see what is there to be seen it is an enormous opportunity for growth. There is great love and support when we take that step and embrace all of who we are and step back into life.
Beautiful Lucy!
The word that comes to me this morning reading this blog is control and how much we bring in control to hide our true selves from the world.
It is in the allowing of being real that we grow and find our true selves. It is the expression that makes us embrace our flaws and raw edges. We all are part of this imperfect world, that isn’t really our place to be in the first place, so it is only beautiful to allow ourselves to expose this in the most honest of ways.
What an opportunity Jill! I have felt that rawness and mistaken it so often for the feeling you get when you are getting a cold. As I have developed a relationship with my body I have noticed that each time I feel it I find any way possible to not feel it, eating, television, movies or any other form of distraction mostly! I always saw it as something bad. I am starting to see it as an incredible opportunity…
I love this Jill, your honesty shows our deeper level of responsibility we have by seeing how we have choices in every moment of what energy to allow to run us. When we are honest about this, we allow our self to see how we have ignored these moments that are continually on offer, lovingly repeating themselves for us see. When we blind ourselves of these moments, we ignore the responsibility of bringing all of us to every moment, relationship and movement, which in turn avoids evolution to ourselves and others.
Such a beautiful story Gill. You have reminded us that we are enough just as we are, a powerful lesson, thank you;
“I wanted to hide no more, I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok”.
A beautiful and honest glimpse into a religious life controlled by the beliefs by which it is constructed and the harm that can come from living and expressing them instead of the truth and realness of you, you have since found.
Those monkeys are very un-wise – it is wise to truly see, hear and speak the truth – why would anyone teach that it is wise to not – must be the same crowd that teaches the virtues of good whereas the real thing is love that does not have one ounce of good, sympathy or emotion in it.
Thank you Jill for a beautiful blog and for sharing your beautiful self. Nothing is more perfect than being who we truly are in our glory and imperfections!
How freeing, Jill, to have let go of right and wrong, good or bad, and just be and embrace all of you – no perfection, no control, just allowing you to be you.
Being who we really are, and being with people who just are truly being themselves is the best thing ever, so why we have to put up all these pretences in the first place so that people will like us or that we are seen to be doing good is total madness! What a waste of energy for a start when that same energy could be left in the raw and uncut.
Transparency, fragility, and honesty are very much undervalued for the beauty that they represent. It is our true nature that comes through when we allow ourselves to let go of the ties of protection and holding back, showing the love that we are and that is a reflection of God.
Pretty much everyone would put their hands up and say that they love being with people who are real and just themselves yet most people would also admit that they themselves don’t allow their real selves to be seen by everyone. We have to be the role models that we are seeking because if we don’t then who will?
A beautiful turn around Jill from a life of a chosen cage to one of openness and freedom to be your true self. Our investments of those ideals and beliefs can really imprison us through life, seeing through them to the real truth underneath is liberation.
‘Religion for me was a perfect place to hide, a huge illusion of thinking I was with God doing his work while all the time hiding and denying my light.’ I wonder for how long have women been hiding through the influence of institutional religion afraid to step out of this suppression of doing good and right but not be seen as an equal participant with a voice that is worth to be heard.
A beautiful post Jill. I can relate to much that you share. ‘Oh what freedom to just be, no perfection needed whatsoever.’
Reading this bible text: “Whatsoever is good true and holy, think on these things.”, made me shiver as it is something I have held onto in my life as well, without being consciously aware and it feels a bit like what happened with the sexual abuse cases that happened in the church. Like if we think of the good and holy the evil will not exist? These texts can cause a lot of problems if we do not discern what they are telling us and if it is true what they are telling us.
It can be tricky at times to allow ourselves to feel what is there to be felt, but it can clear so much from our body and allow our connection to God to become more clear.
I love your blog Jill. It is so good to come out into the Light and really see what is happening. It can only be more amazing from then on!
Better to accept ourselves and to live the real us than to accept a lesser reality and live other than who we are.
Being who we naturally and deeply are takes away any pressure we have placed on ourselves to be otherwise and is a settlement within that is felt without, for we live our day with us.
Reading this I find it truly beautiful. The ‘raw and uncut’ is real and is true beauty, the ‘good’ is so false and any beauty is superficial and illusionary.
Perfection is trying to be fixed and rigid in a universe that is constantly moving and never static. And thus brings about massive tension. It does feel very freeing when we allow ourselves to be imperfect as we are closer to being honest and true.
Raw and uncut. Allowing ourselves to see the whole – no matter what. And living our lives with a transparency and vulnerability that shows our true strength and power.
Being vulnerable is where our true power lies – in honouring our true self, in remaining connected to the Love we are no matter what.
We have from a very young age been fed the illusion through many religious beliefs that putting ourselves last is being ‘good’, that martyrdom is the way to God and is what defines us as being a person of ‘good’ morals. Yet in truth this quality of being is an abusive one, as we are not honouring ourselves in any way. To value ourselves less than another is abusive to the equalness that we all in essence are. The true way to God is in honouring who we are, in equalness to God and all others.
Denying and hiding own light = serving God – I fell for that one too. Thinking disregarding myself was being selfless. What I have learnt through the teachings presented by Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon is that it is through being me in full that I can be of true service and when I meet others in my fullness, as one, the ‘me’ simply dissolves.
Jill, this is beautiful, ‘what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.’ I can feel how controlled I have been in the past with how much of me I have expressed of the true me, I have held back my sensitivity and delicacy until recently, now that I am living more and more my true qualities such as my sweetness, tenderness and joy I realise that for most of life I have not lived these, I did not feel these qualities around me growing up and so to fit in and be liked and accepted I changed who I was and lived in a much harder, less sensitive way. That is all changing now and I’m not afraid to live differently from others and am not needing outside recognition and acceptance from outside of me, this feels like true freedom.
What you have surely shown here Jill is that if there is a ‘good’ then there must be a ‘bad’, if there is a ‘right’ then there must be a ‘wrong’ – all this cutting, dividing and separating, imagining that we ‘are’ something other than our true essence. Really there is only truth, as you have shown.
‘ The next morning I awoke with these words, “I want to be raw and uncut.” They were such powerful words for me, I wanted to hide no more, I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok.’ This is such a treasure of a revelation Jill, straight from heaven. No more hiding, no more sculpting the stone to fit in with religious ‘rules’, just presenting beautiful essential you and being honest about how you’ve lived. This is a great recipe for all of us.
This is such a beautiful blog Jill and I can certainly related to the “good” and “right”. It is a beautiful thing to just be ourselves and to accept ourselves as we are.
I love this Jill … “I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before…” total self acceptance, and boy does this keep things so real!
‘I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever’. This is so well said Jill, it’s our willingness to go deeper and feel things we don’t wish to feel that can offer the greatest evolution.
It’s so beautiful when we can be absolutely naturally ourselves, no politeness or pretension but just our essential selves, the joy and harmony that we reconnect to and the purity in our relationships that we engender is awesome.
Be to raw and uncut, to be exposed, to allow ourselves to be seen in it all, the honesty of living that way, the joy of living that way, the humbleness of it, I am beginning to truly touch on, and bit by bit every piece of the masks I’ve worn are beginning to fall away and more of who I am is there for all to see. It’s what we’re all here to do, to live who we are.
In whatever ways we seek to hide it serves no-one or anything but the self.
That which truly sees us through is a body of love. It will see us through everything in life.
The perfect blog for me to read today Jill. I was upset by something last night and I allowed myself to feel my hurts. I gave my self space to express how I felt, had a cry and went to bed feeling as though I could let it go. I woke up feeling refreshed and clear of the feelings from the night before and this was a stark contrast to the way I feel when I bottle up my emotions in an attempt to be ‘good’.
‘I have come across people in my life that I have felt drawn to, simply because of their openness, their realness, showing the rawness in just being who they are, no apologies no excuses. In them I saw an honesty that I was not able to give myself because I was so tied up, literally, with the ‘good’ and ‘right.’’ You are certainly not the only one Jill! Our world is largely run through such a consciousness – it is accepted as preferable to its twin, the ‘bad ‘and ‘wrong’ because from the ‘good’ aspect of the fortress we think it is harder to be attacked! ‘Good’ and ‘right’ is a subtle protection against the hardness and brutality of the world, though not so subtle once one begins to feel the quality of hardness it too carries!
I was brought up to believe in good and right, but truth wasn’t really mentioned at all. Society today likes good and right and people find truth hard to hear. As I have developed self confidence I now find it easier to speak my truth and get less attached to other’s reactions. Still a way to go, but I’m on my way……
I was drawn like you Jill to people that were open honest and real and said it as it is. I feel deep down we know that good and right are not true but it is what is accepted by society and it doesn’t make waves. It is not so easy to pull someone up when they are being good or helpful, but in the reflection of another we do know that hiding who we really are in being nice and righteous is not the answer.
Good fools the masses and is a chosen pursuit – deliberately so. In expressing good we can convince ourselves of progression, growth and care for our fellow man when all the while, we are in it for ourselves and the quality of our expression is laced with judgement, sympathy and a distraction from the Truth we would otherwise live and the true responsibly we are forever being called to take that we all too swiftly sidestep with our replacement fuel of seemingly taking steps…when all the while we are walking far from our true core.
We cannot truly be free until we ultimately accept the depth of Love that we are and live this, unabated, uncut and impulsed from our Soul
I woke up early this morning with the intention of getting some work done. What I have chosen to do first is write in my diary, read a little and do my exercise. I often relegate these activities to the bottom of my list because its not as important as work. This links to what you have shared about our value not coming from how much we do. I know getting my work done is important but that should not be what defines me.
The plight of ‘good’ is the blinding of all that is true. When this veil is removed we begin to see the absolute beauty of who we truly are that has been masked by such a debilitating belief. ‘Raw and uncut’ is a very apt description of how we feel when we allow the world to see our true self – yes we feel vulnerable but we also feel whole, complete and unpolluted. Perhaps the origin for the word ‘holy’ is actually ‘wholly’.
Beautiful article Jill. I can feel that being raw and uncut comes from a deep connection with ourselves where we allow the impulses of our heart to lead the way.
‘what did not fit in with the ‘picture’ of ‘good’ did not even exist in my line of sight’ now that line popped out at me as I consider what I am willing to see right now and what I do not want to see. When I atttempt to fit into the picture of how things should be, I get into a complete muddle at odds with myself and the world, and when I just let myself be me, life flows. And now and I need reminding of that, so thanks Jill.
“the God who touches my heart and holds me in absolute love”, that is our true God. He holds all of us in absolute Love.
Thank you Jill. I can see how I can edit out feelings by resorting to a distraction of some sort which is a very inconsiderate way of behaving towards myself. This inconsideration which could also be called abuse if we look a bit deeper is negating my responsibility not only to myself but to everyone and everything. I can understand why I might not want to feel whatever it is but the irony is that when I let myself feel and express and communicate it actually starts to turn things around and I am led out of my self made misery into the light of day and the joy that it brings.
It is interesting the different ways we come up with to handle not feeling our hurts, and avoiding expressing the hurt at the time, and if it were to become common place for us to just say it as it is without worrying about upsetting anyone or judging ourselves for handling something poorly, we would be much healthier by letting things go. Reading your comment Elaine gave me a realisation that by being ‘stoic’ (my go to coping mechanism) is just another way of avoiding hurts and taking responsibility. Thank you
An article exposing the set up of ‘good’ and ‘right’ and how they are used in an ever changing perception of how you should be. I didn’t ever quote the bible but still had the good and right card by my side. It didn’t remain constant though and changed and moved to suit what I needed at the time. I can also relate to the editing of life. In that every conversation and every movement almost was put through a critique from how the result was. In other words whatever I saw happened outside of me, people reactions, the outcome of the situation or what I carried out from the conversation I would go about changing for the next time. I would replay things over and over in my head with good, bad, right and wrong at the helm. There was no room is this truly for me as there were too many other things placed on top to get right. This life lead to more and more pressure and for all of us there is a breaking point. Mine came and now with support from Universal Medicine there is more of me and far less of right and wrong and their mates good and bad.
‘During my life I was always apologising, saying sorry for this or that; even if it wasn’t my fault so to speak, it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air.’ I know that one too Jill. So often it is a woman’s way of keeping herself small and unnoticed in order to protect herself from that force that crushes woman because her sacredness is so powerful. As women it is our responsibility to live this sacred power and nurture a world gone so far away from truth or even decent human behaviour. Apology dampens our power and at some levels shows our lack of true ‘courage’ or heart-ful-ness to do our job here.
Very true Lyndy. I have started to say thank you instead of saying sorry and it has been incredible to observe how differently I carry myself when I do this. For example if someone is upset by something I have done I might say ‘thank you for letting me know how you feel’ rather than instantly jumping to a ‘sorry’ that is loaded with remorse, guilt and self bashing. What’s more my thank you comes with the energy of responsibility as I say it in acknowledgment of what energy I allowed through with understanding of how and why the incident occurred so I can learn from it.
A great support in identifying what has been shared rather than harming oneself in the process Leonne Sharkey. It is when we put others or ourselves on a pedestal of perfection we can often fall into the patterns of apologising or berating one another. This blog is a supportive piece of writing that can help us become more aware of how we choose to listen and understand one another first, can make the difference in how we can communicate with one another. When we make our relationships about understanding and we may not express in full we are given the opportunity to learn and heal instead.
Beautiful Jill, reading how you have got to where you have is very inspiring. Learning to be ourselves in life sounds a bit ridiculous but it is true that to be that, requires a lot of ‘undoing’ of all we take on and assume we need to be.
There is nothing so effective as the ‘apologetic’ cage to keep us withdrawn from our fullness or even working against our own light. Thanks for this brilliant sharing Jill – a huge help to see it mapped out like this.
The problem with cutting out parts of ourselves to present a certain image is that we lose a sense and love of who we really are. We can invest so much energy in judging and trying to change who we are that our true selves can lay hidden under these layers or discarded on the editing floor. In doing so, we never get to feel ourselves whole, in the gloriousness of who we are, ‘warts and all’.
It is our beliefs of what we need to be that we need to let go. It is such a false belief that in our protection we are all, while we all know protection doesn’t work, it is for us to exercise true expression of the raw and uncut truth of who we are Students of life.
This line really jumped out at me today – ” the truth of who I am deep within and where I truly come from.” Imagine if we had dinner parties where we spoke about what we knew deep within about ourselves or visited our GP and expressed everything we know from deep within about why we felt we were ill. This would change our world in an instance and the truth is we all have it within our reach to do this.
Talking about your beautiful and intimate exchange with your friend Jill you say: ‘As we continued sharing I sensed a feeling come over my body. It was as if a shadow had passed through me and in its passing I could feel it pulling me back into hiding, a very familiar way I had lived my life and not just this life, but for many lives.’ How beautiful to pick up this shadow passing through you, see it pulling you into an old pattern, and then immediately act in not letting it take over. Such shadows are passing through us all the time waiting for us to pick up on them and follow their momentum. Once we have established a strong new basis of love for relationship then the lures and seductions are clear to see and we can choose to be free of them.
Choosing to ‘come out’ in life and be all of who we are, for everyone to see… is not easy for most so well done Jill, it is a courageous step many choose not to take. Being true to ourselves is the start of this, and offers a refreshing change to others, permssion if you like, for them to do the same. No doubt this is what your friend offered you standing in the hallway… evidenced through the powerful effect of her eyes and the realisation you woke with the morning after. Very beautiful… thanks for sharing.
Being good and right will never equate to being true and real.
Today I decided I would love myself and stay with myself no matter what mistakes I made or who I offended or if I got things very wrong. I am and will always be a Son of God no matter what. So reading this I can now really relate to the uncut version of living life as it is with all its depth and richness – an analogy of manure feeding the roses springs to mind!
I love this blog, as it always brings my attention to being real, being yourself and being true.
This is awesome, Jill. Good for you for being so honest with yourself. It’s a great reminder to us all that we can go deeper and be more aware of what we’re really choosing for ourselves (or not).
So beautiful Jill what an amazing sharing of the changes you have made to allow the real you to be simply lived I love it getting away from the Good and Bad we are all plagued with as a false way of being “Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.”
Looking at things as right or wrong is very limiting, and will restrict us to staying at a surface level with what is being offered to us in the way of reflection and understanding, and ultimately getting to the truth.
When we confine ourselves to fit the picture we have to ask ourselves: ‘Who took the picture?’ It is a beautiful freedom to step out of the frame and just be who we are.
It feels so liberating and free in my body to just be open, raw and honest with others and it really feels like a tension when I try to control things or protect myself or play a role that is not the true me.
‘I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.’ Beautifully said Jill.
I can so relate to this Jill, I have even had a situation come up recently that has brought up this very issue, of a part of my life not matching a picture or image I have. What I’m now able to observe is that this part of my life is simply showing an area that needs more love, awareness and acceptance, and that it’s offering me a point of evolution.
‘I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok’ – no need to be something else, someone else, no pressure to be other than who I am. A very very powerful place… and love instinctively fills us up when we let go and stop trying to be something else.
I love the title of this blog post. How refreshing it is when we are standing in front of someone willing to have you see all the outtakes…all the little slip ups and imperfections…how allowing this is of all us to just be without the need for pretense.
Jill, what a deeply touching piece, I love the simplicity you describe in how you come back to feeling the realness and the rawness of you, you allow yourself to feel what is there and accept it. It’s so easy to get caught in ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ but in fact all of this is based on an image of how we think things should be and it’s a trap where we avoid seeing how things are and of course we avoid feeling what we feel, especially when it doesn’t fit the image or picture we’ve had. So we filter life into buckets and in doing so we do not see and feel life and we definitely do not feel ourselves, so as you describe we become almost a voyeur on ourselves not connected and truly living who we are, until we remind ourselves or are reminded by others that we can be real and raw and we begin again to explore living life without those images and being who we are.
Looking at the world through the eyes of right and wrong keeps us steeped in a illusion that prevents us from gaining a deeper understanding as to what is truly going on. After all, if you believe you are right, you do not ponder any further on the subject, and if you see something as wrong, you limit your understanding by the passing of judgement upon another, and so you become blinded by your perception. After all, everyone’s concept of right and wrong differs one way or another, even if we do not like to think so.
I love how you have described this feeling ‘ as if a shadow had passed through me and in its passing I could feel it pulling me back into hiding,’ Sometimes we can feel that there is an energy that doesn’t belong in our bodies that is trying to have an influence over us. Many poo poo this and as yet we have no accepted scientific proof however when we are sensitive and/ or clairsentient enough this is very obvious and with clairsentience there is a clear distinction between what can hold us back and what supports us in living our life to the full.
‘Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.’ – very beautifully said Jill.
“I want to be raw and uncut.” – powerful indeed and what I know I crave for, if I’m in a situation where I can’t share what has gone on, what I feel or express the depth of truth then it hurts every part of my body. Yet I lived most of my life never sharing what I felt so it shows how freeing expressing the truth really is.
I love how being raw and uncut as you say Jill alleviates the need to fill an ideal or belief of how we think things should be but instead feel our bodies and our connection to them and allow our natural expression shine. Thank you.
I am experiencing recently that the more open, real and ‘uncut’ I can be, that my relationships do change and become one of a togetherness. And from that togetherness or oneness, in which two or more people unite, a magic is working out that not only brings joy and purpose in these relationships but so much more which from there we share with everybody we meet.
This is beautiful to read, and it shows our dependence on relationships. Choosing to deepen this by being more open changes a lot in life.
Letting go of volumes of rules and ‘shoulds’ has meant that I have been able to develop a relationship with myself that raw, uncut and unimposed upon is more and more honest, open and transparent. The ripple effect of this into my other relationships and engagement with life is nothing short of miraculous.
To let go of those images of being good is liberating for our bodies and our soul as we can finally evolve back to the love that we truly are without any hindrances which only delay our back to where we belong.
Many of us fall for the falseness of ‘Good’, ‘Niceness’ and the notion of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’…they are sprinkled upon our path if not imprinted deeply within life. It is part and parcel of our learning and evolution to navigate false seeds such as this and to not fall for a lie because it is accepted by a majority.
The real litmus test is to discern with our every particle if something is true or false, without judgement and in acceptance of the divine barometers that we are.
Beautiful, especially the fact that you are in your 60’s and not willing to just give up…but start a whole new phase of your life but this time with you right by your side.
Your last line Jill is brilliant: “And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” When we drop our expectations and all aspects of perfectionism we are free to be the students of life we are.
“Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” . . . I can really relate to this Jill and for me it is a process as I have come to see just how entrenched I have been in seeing everything through the eyes of the judgements that come from good and bad, right and wrong. So many ties to cut but so worth freeing myself from this old way of being and the false humbleness that comes with ‘good’ and the false pride that comes with ‘right’.
‘Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.’ – Wow Jill what a difference this is from the once nice and closed up person you described. This is possible in any and all of us. And the key is to feel what is there when we take all the roles away. I really saw this as a challenge the first time I was asked who I am without the roles, but the more we are able to sit with an explore this, the more we can start to build relationships with the qualities we bring through.
Jill I love reading about letting go of right/wrong, good/bad and living life from truth, raw, uncut, unfiltered just expressing what you feel in the truth of what is needed. How simple, I’m in.
It’s so freeing to not have the constraints, and to know we are a part of the whole without having to be or do anything but just be.
I constantly apologise for being me – being here – I didn’t realise how much until I read this blog, and how much this hurts, me and my body, it actually chips away big time at my self worth, strength and trusting myself. I do it everywhere, in meetings not by saying sorry but just how I come across, or giving my power away as in agreeing with another when that’s not what I feel to say, in texts not by words, but texting in an energy that is already saying sorry for texting you, the same with emails, relationships, family and work. My feeling this comes from a lack of a deeply loving relationship with myself and me not being full of love. Cause really you’re damn lucky if I’m in you’re life 😊 even though there is no such thing as luck.
I am only just coming to see another level I have played of trying to keep my family happy and learning to let that go and just express me. It feels raw, it feel uncut and it feels amazing to no longer play games.
Agreed. I have to be very understanding with myself as I move away from the games. It is easy to slip back into them simply because they are so ingrained and familiar, but when I do it is clear that they simply perpetuate a lack of honesty and that raw, unrehearsed and uncut is an opportunity to be more honest and open to learning.
Hold on a second! Being ‘good’ and ‘right’ is causing us sickness and illness! This is huge!
We think we are hiding all our shameful parts and yet we are focused on hiding a part of ourselves that is not even true. Re-connection to our inner most cuts out this time wasting exercise of impression management.
Love it Jill – another way of saying the same thing is ‘What you see, is what you get’ – a very gorgeous woman!
When choosing a guide for our journey through this life, which makes more sense?… ‘the God who touches my heart and holds me in absolute love, [or the] false God – one who judges and condemns, with no love or compassion for the fragility of my being.’
To be tied up in being ‘good and right’ is such an exhausting process I have found. A condition that can never be maintained and inevitably pushing others away.
Being … ‘Raw and uncut’.. is for me like the saying, “calling a spade a spade “… to remain true to yourself and transparent. A great and real blog Jill, thank you!
I am definitely feeling this at the moment: that I would rather be ‘raw and uncut’ than polished and superficially sorted. I know that true relationships are built on the former; a willingness to be open, honest and transparent with each other builds to the real deal.
I was also snagged by this belief until the pressure got too much and I rebelled by deliberately moving against the grain. I didn’t shift the energy by doing this, I merely went to the opposite end of the same spectrum and indulged in that for awhile until the pain of the fight got too much and in my near collapse was able to find my way back to the Ageless Wisdom that forever lives to support us to unfold back to being able to live from our essence which is truth/love. From where I stand now and from who I know myself to be, I am able to support both my children and the children in my care to never ‘be good’ but to simply be true. True to themselves and the love that they are.
It is a great evil at play when we are sold a religion that allows us to hide when in truth religion is a re-turning back to who we truly are. Knowing you Jill, the loveliness of your light, the warmth of your smile and the undying twinkle in your ageless eyes, I know you would have done a terrible job of hiding this even though you were under the full illusion that you did. That said, it is exquisite to feel the true you move unencumbered by the shackles of such rigid beliefs, free to live from your essence once again.
It’s so easy to hide behind ‘doing good’. We can see it as a ‘self-less’ act and indeed it is, but there is no love in it as we are not loving ourselves and extending that love. If there is no love then what are we giving?
To be good is simply a behaviour, which in itself is neither true nor untrue – for it is the intent behind such an action that determines its true quality.
The so-called ‘religious’ way of holding God as one who demands obedience and servitude is far from the truth and only serves the powers that be to then hold their followers in servitude and demand obedience – or else.
What powerful statement which I would say is true for almost the whole of humanity: “I don’t want to hide any more, I want all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this is me, I am enough, and I am ok.” But how often do we let ourself go there? It is wonderful reading how you started to allow yourself, and how you started to feel and trust the fragility, vulnerability, honesty and freedom that comes with it.
Wanting to be perfect is in itself an imperfection because nothing can ever be perfect – look in nature and there is no perfection.
‘And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever’… bravo Jill, it gets us nowhere trying to be perfect, it only leads to comparison with others if we feel that we are less, or have failed in some way. How refreshing to have this attitude which takes the burden off trying to be anything other than your true, beautiful, amazing self, just as you are.
Yours is a great example of the perils of living through a picture of how life should be. It’s the very best way to ensure we set ourselves up for failure, misery and self-reproach.
As I arrive at my 50s I know that it is healthier and more honest and supportive to open up to others as transparently as I can and that this breaks some of the deeply entrenched patterns in society of ‘facade maintenance’ and keeping each other at arm’s length.
In the truth of God there are no ideals and beliefs, there is only love.
I agree Doug, “raw and uncut” means there is willingness to be open and honest to the bone, an admission that something is not working and that I want to look at my part in it so that I may learn and grow from the experience. It is like an invitation for god to work directly with your soul.
No matter how much we try we cannot cut and paste bits of our lives together and show people this edited version. The way energy is felt by others is complete and contains the truth of everything that we have lived. It is ridiculous to try to hide or mask our energy because it is clearly felt and registered by everyone.
what I love is that I remember living in a way whereby I didn’t know what was going to happen every day, but every part of me was handling whatever did happen – sometimes I didn’t handle it, and this is the awesome learning that Universal medicine has reintroduced me to.
The joy of living a transparent and true life brings a settlement within that is powerful, known and deeply inspiring to others.
Our authenticity, or our raw and uncuttnes is of such enormous value to the world, especially when most things are the exact opposite. Basically you’re saying get real and be real and I love that, it’s not worth being anything else.
Life is one big classroom that we can learn from constantly and when we learn that our connection to who we are is the foundational key for living it takes away the complication and expectations we place on ourselves to be a certain way or that we need to be good or nice and instead return to the simplicity of our connection to our bodies and hearts. It is here that we will return to the truth of God and our natural state of being.
. Expression that comes from our soul raw and uncut is our true expression
Being honest that the many ways we have used to manage life and get us through do not work and all they do is helps us avoid feeling the hurts we are holding onto. It is only through embracing the rawness and fragility of feeling our hurts that we can get true healing and an opportunity to evolve, sure it is not a comfortable process but one that will alllow us to live more with an open heart.
Coming to the conclusion that life is not about wrong and right or what you do but the connection you hold with yourself and others is in itself one of life’s biggest lessons. No perfection of course but if we hold this intention we will find our way home, to the heart, its where we belong.
Jill, this is such a beautiful and powerful blog, thank you. What a great reminder that is not about being good on the outside but being true from the inside.
I am really drawn to people who are the real deal. It is honest and refreshing. Glad there is another one in the world.
Such a powerful blog for me, thank you Jill for the healing it offers. I could relate to your line “I wanted to be perfect.” I can’t help but feel that when we say this we are really saying “I want to be loved and accepted by others, by myself, and by God”. It’s such a cruel experience to believe we aren’t good enough, as is the next step of pressuring ourselves to be whatever “perfect” means to us, when all along just being our simple selves, exactly as we are, is all we need. It’s such an odd world isn’t it, when being who we actually are is something we have to work at.
Raw and uncut; “they were such powerful words for me, I wanted to hide no more, I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok.”
I am enough and I am ok, these words keep ringing in my ears reflecting to me that I am enough and ok; thank you Jill.
Awesome blog all together – what I felt to raise is when you said that you felt as if a shadow had passed through you. This subtle world is not talked about that much but that there is a world that we cannot see with our physical eye is not new – That there is a world of spirits all around us all of the time and that they can affect us as I sense happened when you were talking with your friend. We sometimes make these things into scary movie stuff but I feel that we might benefit from talking about it and not give the unseen world too much credit especially if we paint this world (the unseen) as being more powerful than we are. And maybe that is why you felt affected this time, you chose to withdraw and then you could also be affected. Very interesting topic I feel. Thanks for the share.
Being willing to be ‘raw and uncut’ is an ongoing process for me. As I let the layers of guarded, learnt coping behaviours drop away there is a period of naked vulnerability that develops into revelations and amazing insights into life and my relationship with it. A ‘proof in the pudding’ example has been reflecting back on the anxiousness, about pretty much everything, that I used to live with and the extraordinary freedom in the absence of this.
Gorgeous blog Jill, to allow ourselves to be seen is incredible because this is what is natural to us all. Choosing to hide and play it safe doesn’t actually protect us in anyway, yet it is such a common reaction we have towards people. To be open, vulnerable, accept and appreciate who we are is simply gold, blessing everyone around us and beyond what our eyes can see. Shining our light (who we are) is a gift to humanity.
When we try to be the ‘good’ and the ‘right’ we have defined means we have also defined things that are ‘bad and ‘wrong’. But does this actually exist, good and bad, right and wrong. When I connect to God I do not sense an ounce of judgement as he loves us just for who we are, not for what we do or how we behave.
I can truly appreciate, resonate and am deeply inspired in the giving myself the full permission to be all of me at all times. Life is certainly supporting the unfolding and evolving of this – anything else is literally hurting my body and the more aware I am of this the more I realise that I’m hurting others.
If everything is everything, then we cannot turn our back on any aspect we experience that does not suit our picture, editing out the bad bits, nothing can be put aside and not considered as its all for us to reflect and learn from.
It is very true that without honesty with where we are at, there can be no true growth or understanding of the way back to ourselves.
Identifying with what we do is such an old, old pattern for many of us. Letting it go and focusing on the quality of our being is a totally different way to live, and much simpler in the long run.
And it is in fact the only responsibility in life Carmel, to live the quality of the light that we all hold within to the best of our ability.
I feel that as an esoteric student I have had my ‘rose coloured glasses’ on. In the recent UK presentation by Serge Benhayon he asked the students to be raw and to drop the esoteric language so we could open up and expose our hurts and start to heal. One day I will be able to be absolutely honest about the way I live so I can open up to true healing for I understand that true healing starts when I am truthful in everything I do.
It is illogical to think that we are not at ease with being who we are, in full, but that lack of ease with ourselves is regarded as ‘normal’. We spend so much time aspiring to be good, when if we stay true to ourselves we are amazing and all we could ever need to be because we are a reflection of divinity on earth. If we choose to feel that spark that is in us and not freak out, we clearly feel it in all others and the equality of that as our source. It blows me away sometimes. Building a way of living that does not shy away from that… there is life’s work!
‘Religion for me was a perfect place to hide, a huge illusion of thinking I was with God doing his work while all the time hiding and denying my light.’ This is a cracking statement. Coming from a Catholic background myself I can totally understand what you mean by this. There was a sense of belonging to something, but that something never really felt real or true and so there was a compromise in congratulating myself on that sense of belonging, a denial of what really felt true and going along with the received ideals and beliefs.
Such a beautiful gift to the world (and ourselves), when we do come out and just be ourselves, raw and uncut!
Those simple words “To be raw and uncut” immediately shift any facade to bring one back to feeling transparent, honest and real. What a great shift to feel!.
“And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” It is so amazing to drop the need for perfection and irony is that the perfection and ideals we strive are false and illusionary anyway.
I like the analogy of your life before being like an edited movie with all the bits that make you you, cut out because you thought they didn’t fit. I can so relate to living like that. Being raw and uncut is the way to go, however it does not always feel very comfortable and I must admit to wanting to numb myself with food so as not to feel. The comments on this blog have been very supportive and inspiring to read.
The more raw I let myself be with what I am feeling the more clarity I seem to receive. It’s ironic as it is so easy to want to run away when we are feeling the most fragile but it’s the opposite, the deep connection that allows whatever needs to surface to be felt and accepted. It is when I surrender to this that I feel how incredibly supported we are on so many levels.
Thank you Vicky, and I have found that by allowing myself to stop, feel, really listen to myself and express how I’m feeling that the support I’m surrounded with is coming from myself.
I find it very hard to allow my self to feel a huge sadness coming up in my body, every time it does I try to bury it with food, which is not the answer, as it comes back stronger and in less and less time than before. I almost get agitated, and restless, thinking sadness is a bad thing to feel, that I should be happy and cheery all the time and smile for everybody. If I am honest there is a picture in my head, I’m not quite sure what it looks like of how I ‘should’ be. Sometimes I apologise to people for feeling sad and wanting to talk about it and what I feel. That’s crazy, I would say I am rejecting myself in doing this which surely adds to the sadness of not loving my body. There is nothing more inspiring that someone who is honest, uncut, raw and very real who doesn’t use the right words so to speak, but lives the words they share, you can feel the difference. I know myself when I read back things I have written from my head, they feel very very different as to what I write, speak or share from my life, how I live, what I feel. It may not be perfect, I may indulge at times, but it’s very honest. I also realise I don’t have to be anything for anybody. And no matter how difficult things may feel, it’s better to feel them than eat a bar of chocolate, gluten free bar or some other food you know is purely to not feel.
Lovely Gyl. I can relate to much of what you share here, especially the bit about labelling some parts of what we feel bad, and so repressing them. Your comment feels very raw and uncut. Thank you for being so open and honest.
I too relate to what you share Gyl. Food is the easiest and quickest and also most normalised form of numbness to our hurts. It shows that more real ness and openness in how we communicate with each other could go a long way to help us to talk and express and heal these issues instead of numbing and burying them.
The world is singing with joy Jill at your being . . . .”able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” . . . for you are one delightful being and I for one feel privileged to know you.
Absolutely, it is not about what we do, but the quality we live in. Amazing that we do not consider this in every day life. I know I didn’t for years, but bringing attention my breath and movements choices has altered my life deeply. And being raw and honest is part of this expression, more truth, more foundation, more appreciation.
This is a very beautiful appreciation for our loving understanding of ourselves. It is so true that we need raw to be real otherwise we are living in parts, tearing ourselves up to fit a piece in here and there for others. I absolutely agree God isn’t asking us to choose this.
Interesting how ‘service’ has been twisted to be something that is self-less and good. But, what is the quality of the service to people and what good is it really if there is none of us in it? I feel our service starts first with ourselves, serving the body what is needed to be a vehicle to then serve the bigger picture.
I particularly liked the last paragraph, especially these words ‘And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever’ – learning to let go of the ‘good’ and ‘right’ and all of the expectations we hold ourselves to is indeed freeing.
Being ‘raw and uncut’ are great words that remind one to just simply be themselves, thanks for sharing.
The choice to be raw and uncut instead of allowing the ingrained program of protection to have its go with us is always at hand, but it may require some learning and understanding to incrementally heal and master the pattern of reaction.
I have noticed in myself and in others that there can be a freak out moment when we let someone in or as intimacy develops. As we let down our protection that moment of feeling raw and uncut can come as a surprise.
As a Student of The Livingness I have a great understanding of how difficult it is to be ‘raw’ and open like a book for everyone to read your life. Being closed and guarded has not worked for me and to be absolutely honest it is up to me to be fleshy and raw about my life so I can feel the dishonesty I have been living in so that I can begin the healing process. Before I can heal or ‘cut out’ any part I have to feel it in all its rawness in my body. So all the esoteric jargon does not bring any healing only I do, by being open and at least honest to what I have been party to in my life and this includes all the so called goods.
I love this blog and where you have got to from your honesty and understanding Jill. “I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” what a beautiful inspiration thank you.
This blog is a great reminder of all the different ways we can hide in life such as roles of being good, or in institutions such religion or in our work or sporting activities. But does this hiding really deliver the intimacy and connection that we are craving? Again it depends on the quality of connection with self and others that we develop and engage in these life areas.
Jill, this is so beautiful what you have shared – having stumbled across your blog again, it has reminded me of moments when I too have felt the closeness with someone and then it is as if there is a part of me that suddenly goes on guard, as if I am too scared to either continue with this closeness, or even that the closeness might just deepen. This shows that there is a part of me that lacks trust in just being close to another, perhaps from a fear from a past experience of being hurt when allowing the closeness, who knows? But it is interesting to observe these moments, and learn from them and so called push the boundaries and encourage the trust to keep building. And all the while to just keep feeling.
Years ago the idea of feeling raw and uncut would have totally terrified me. These days I am learning to open up and am allowing myself to be real and vulnerable with myself and others and this is such a blessing not only in my life but in the lives of all those I have contact with.
Spot on Elizabeth – I too have felt terrified of the thought of feeling raw and uncut especially in front of another. But it is an interesting experience to be like that with another as I have found that more often than not it actually brings the other to be more tender too. To me, being raw and uncut is akin to standing naked in front of another or many others – the vulnerability is undeniable. It takes a lot of courage for us these days to allow ourselves to be vulnerable in a world where this is seen as a weakness rather than the strength that it is.
As I came to the end of this article I saw all the edited bits of film being picked up and embraced back into the raw uncut you – a more and more complete film showing the world who you truly are. A very beautiful article. Thank you, Jill.
The feeling of being open, raw and vulnerable is not something that our society or communities generally encourage, yet when we allow ourselves to be in that space, so many things open up for us, and it is like we are sponges and radars that can read and feel everything around us, understanding so much more – life becomes so much more full!
The religious themes in this blog are so uncomfortably familiar to me – the not being good enough but the endless attempts to be so – the absolute negation of the self and the desire to make life all about other people. It is a cloud of consciousness that spreads far and wide. I thank God that I met Serge Benhayon 6 years ago and have reconnected to the truth of self-love and the equal divine essence of all – yes, me included! How different life is when we allow ourselves the gift of self-acceptance rather than self-rejection and negation.
I love people that are raw and uncut, what you see is what you get as no games are played and what you see is what you get.
I have purposly come back to your blog, for it is so very pertinant for me to consider – I am very very good at the editing of myself, to put out the perfected trailer rather than the true raw honesty of who I am – but the problem is, in being so closed off to people and only showing them the veil of ‘everything is fine, I have this under control’ when I am in truth struggling, I do not reach out for help and when someone offers me true love I cannot understand why they would. It leaves me craving to be met and seem and loved because I know the real me is not really who people get to meet. Absolute honesty is my take away from the recent month of courses here in the UK with Serge Benhayon, and I look forward to exploring what it looks like to truly be open with those around me
I relate to what you have shared Rebecca, and may I add that I feel along with ‘absolute honesty’ comes obedience and appreciating the alchemy that we already bring. Alchemy has become a word that has lost its mystique as it is up to each individual to reflect an aspect of God to another, which is transformational or true alchemy, no mystery.
The idea of a judging God who uses intimidation to force his worshipers onto the path of righteousness is so damaging, and is something borne of a mind which does not know the truthful love of God. As in, to love and be loved by God. When we do not know that love, we confuse loving God with piety, which is not love, it is sacrifice.
“I was like one of the three wise monkeys not wanting to hear, see, or speak what life was really about.” For a long time I thought the wise monkeys were the epitome of wisdom. But closing my eyes, ears and mouth to what is happening around me is not the way to live a soulful life. So I discarded the monkeys and I’m, slowly, learning to observe, reflect and challenge myself to live a connected life.
Realness – something I treasure and feel we need more of. There are so many pictures of being ‘perfect’ and yet life can be messy at times, and this is all part of it. Getting caught up in portraying ourselves in a certain way is an illusion, nothing more and nothing less, and this can happen at any time and in any group. If we conform to what we think a group member is suppose to be we have entered into illusion, and this can simply be anywhere, in organised religion, school, social group etc. To simple be ourselves, raw and uncut, is real and a blessing for all, because it can inspire others to drop the illusion and be themselves too.
Life becomes simple when we connect to our inner-heart.
The complexity clears away and a true flow returns to our life.
Perfection is a heavy weight to carry – it’s like it dampens everything as not being good enough or gives an unattainable and unrealistic picture that we try and shape ourselves into. And with that perfection we can condemn ourselves for our apparent shortfalls rather than give ourselves the opportunity to make our life about a quality that is felt or known from inside and so is one that we can always come back to when we feel like we strayed.
Without the need for protection, vulnerability and rawness are a strength (and not perceived as a weakness) that allow us to make choices that heal and evolve us. There is grace in these moments and the healing received and the awareness acquired are beyond any doing or effort.
Beautifully said, Alex Braun, that ‘There is grace in these moments and the healing received and the awareness acquired are beyond any doing or effort.’
Jill I was the same in that I would cut out pieces of my life, things I’d done or went on that I did not like as if that then gave me the picture I wanted. Yet what I had not apprecaited was even if i tried to cut it out the consequence of each choice was buried in my body. Far better to be real and deal with the bits I didn’t like so then I didn’t keep repeating them!
When we hide, what we do is to tell the world, I am not worth it, forget about me; you are not worth either. The truth is both are totally false. No Son of God is not worth it.
Knowing that we are not what we do is a great freedom…like a ‘get out of jail free’ card.
‘I didn’t want a ‘me’, and that is exactly what it was, I was caught up in the being ‘good’ and doing ‘good,’ with none of my true self. Religion for me was a perfect place to hide, a huge illusion of thinking I was with God doing his work while all the time hiding and denying my light.’
What you have expressed there Jill is an exposing of religion that the world needs to hear, it has exposed what religion in the world is at, and it has just been given a big dose of love from you.
This is such gold! Fragility opens the door to living truth, the potential of a truly loving and amazing life that we all can choose to live. Fragility is the last thing we often want or feel though especially in the context of hurts and issues we are not yet ready to deal with and let go of. But this never takes away from the gold that is available from embracing it
it is an easy trap to fall into, making right out of true…and hence we have so many ‘rights’ destroying our world and our relationships.. but we do have the same truth that lives inside us all and this is what truly will bring us together in the end.
True. Many things in life we have made about ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ – never stopping to discern if such a way of life is ‘True’.
The notion of ‘good’ is a fallacy – one that has been sold widely within society, underpinning religion, education, parenting and many social structures. We are fed a solution in ‘good’ that is far removed from the Truth that we otherwise could live and express.
it still surprises me how dark can be our relationship with light
Feeling Raw and Uncut is so powerful. For the first time in my life I am beginning to allow myself to feel the hurt rather than staying in the frustration that I used to mask what I was really feeling. This in it’s self is very freeing and liberating, I no longer feel trapped in the hurt. So this makes total sense to me. “I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before.
Jill it is so true about the ideals and beliefs of being “good” and “right” – as if there is some perfect prescribed way to be that God insists on. Yet, this just sets us up for continual failure as it’s impossible to live according to another’s version of what this “good” or “right” is. It is interesting that such beliefs from religion come from a God supposedly outside of us, who watches our every move as if we are only of worth when able to ‘meet the brief’ of what’s been prescribed. We have to apparently constantly work to get into his good books. This itself tells us that such ideas already come from those living in separation to God. The truth is God lives equally inside each one of us and there is nothing to prove or achieve, just for us to reconnect to ourselves, deeply surrender to all we already are, and enjoy living in connection to the absolute love God is again.
What a deep joy it is to simply be – with no more trying, living up to and roles.
To connect to our inner-most wisdom and to express our true knowing.
I had a conversation recently, that was very much raw, it was the most raw and I had been with a particular relationship…we felt instantly closer, more intimate and more appreciative of each other. Being transparent without hiding shows more of us, and when we commit to this, we can only know that we are so much more love than not love in our composition…
There can be no finer way to live our lives than to live in the knowing that we are not defined by what we do and need create no false picture of who we are but instead accept us as we are.
Absolutely – holding each other as equal and clearly seeing that our behaviours are simply reflecting the energy we align to and live – be that movements and expressions of Love or not.
There is transparency in living raw and uncut, with no part removed to remain unviewed by others, this would be a welcome change in so many areas of life – such as politics and exposing behind the scenes of the celebrity world.
And it can begin one step at a time, one of us at a time willing to live more honestly and openly… raw and uncut.
“Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” This is beautiful, Jill and very freeing. Growing up with this understanding would mean far less issues for many people. Thank you.
I couldn’t help but recognise, how when you described talking to another lady and that your bodies were close during this conversation, just how much this situation was a resemblance to two atoms meeting… the transference of electrons between atoms when they meet is parallel to the exchange that occurs when two people meet.. there is an ‘exchange’ that also happens… a ‘sharing of electrons’ or ‘covalent bonds’ develop or break, two atoms (people) coming together can magnify, explode (like can happen in a chemical reaction) to create a new compound – In ‘life’ you may have had an experience when you meet someone and it feels such a powerful connection… Everything in life chemistry and energy… Seeing life like an energetic chemical equation brings so much understanding to the ‘why’ and ‘what’ is going on
Fragility is the key to knowing divinity. Without fragility, we are too easily enamoured by the comfort of cold reason – a form of reason based on a form of observation that is limited purely by our perception of our 5 senses. And why do we limit our ability to sense in this way? Simple, we have created a body so dense, so hard, so immovable, that we have inadvertently one might say shut down our true ability to sense, and thus why we are so easily fooled by the so called reasoning mind.
Waking up and wanting to make no apologies for being you is huge! From my personal experience, it wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon, and especially Natalie Benhayon his daughter, that I realised there were people who did not apologise for being them – this to me has opened up a whole new world.
Instead of having the hit song ‘showing our true colours’ it should be showing our true nature. Because of mood of colours are always changing but our inner nature is steady and remains the same constantly.
To live raw and uncut means dropping the identification with our roles in life and the need to protect ourselves from hurt.
I agree jennym. The moment I go into protection is the moment when I feel the true hurt, the disconnection from myself. The more I choose to stay open and give myself permission to express, the more I get to confirm how powerful expression can be. Quite the opposite of what I am being fed in the false belief that if I do express I will be hurt.
Thank you for the timely reminder, Vicky, that the true hurt is my disconnection from my self. And even as I write this, I realised I was distancing myself from truly feeling what you wrote in that I started to write that the true hurt is ‘our disconnection from our selves…’!
Being able to really feel what is going on for us, acknowledge that in our bodies, act on what it is sharing and be loving with ourselves in the process, is truly something to celebrate. It is deeply rewarding when one self honours what they are feeling and takes notice of all that is being shared.
This deep connection and intimacy of allowing ourselves out in full and opening to the potential on offer between each of us forever expands and deepens providing for great wisdom to be felt and shared with all.
Your last sentence Jill, is one that is not just words but a palpable feeling. “And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” This freedom is amazing beyond words, I find myself laughing and enjoying my life like never before. Living a perfect life was one of drudgery and constant seeking any thing to prove I was ok. Living, letting go of perfectionism, and embracing my choice to just be me is an amazing way to live, I recommend this to all.
Raw and uncut…and not perfect – what a relief! When I consider being raw and uncut, the feeling I get is of complete surrender and being open and transparent for all to see, the real us without the facade and protection we carry to keep ourselves hidden.
In order to live ‘raw and uncut’ we need to be willing to allow every imperfection and every unresolved issue to be seen. If we leave anything hidden we are simply lying, therefore we are not being ‘raw and uncut’ at all, as how can our true essence be seen if we are still hiding?
Wanting to be perfect is such an ideal that I have been holding onto. Giving me no space to learn or just be how I am and enjoying this process but picking to pieces all the things that I had done wrong and how bad I am. Letting go of being perfect is one of the biggest steps in Self-Love.
“We were standing in the hallway, which was quite crowded with people going to and fro. Being this close and looking into my friend’s big deep blue eyes felt very intimate and beautiful.”
This is inspirational and I love to make this my everyday exercise to alow this level of presence and intimacy with everybody I meet.
I can relate to having moulded a version of me to present to people what I thought I should look like rather than coming from a place of valuing who I innately am and openly sharing that with others! It’s very freeing to be at ease with yourself and connect with people from that real place rather than trying to be something you’re not.
To just be, how lovely that is, I am just feeling that more and more as the truth of what is needed. We are fed so many lies of the need to be successful that it becomes all consuming for so many, rather than being brought up to know that us breathing our own breath and thus allowing the divine to course through our veins is what is required of this life and nothing more.
It is the trying and the wanting to be a certain way that leads us down a path further away from who we really are. When we let go of the ideals and let ourselves simply be who we are then we are in fact closer to knowing God.
In being free, raw and uncut and in connection with the all we bring all of us to the world and that is exactly what is so needed in nowadays world.
Thank you again Jill for this beautiful blog… How many of us are in denial of our light, the truth of who we are deep within and where we truly come from? Too many of us, I fear. But how beautiful with what you have shared and what you have exposed here for us all. We cannot keep hiding, as it is all about shining our light with no reservations. It is a learning for us all to keep unfolding and staying unfolded (if that makes sense!). So much to let go of, so much to embrace and so much more freedom to commit to through true responsibility!
“Religion for me was a perfect place to hide, a huge illusion of thinking I was with God doing his work while all the time hiding and denying my light.”
This sounds familiar to me. Wanting to serve God but forgetting about myself. That is why I tend to go into doing things, into a functional mode, instead of being all of me and enjoying what I do.
There is great freedom in feeling at one with ourselves – there is no thought of apology or need for validation from the outside when we are full of our own Love.
It’s a bit like being a ‘ chameleon ‘ we take on a different outer colour in response to stress, excitement, temperature, we adjust ourselves to fit into a world that is not seeing us for who we really are. But in truth it’s us that became the chameleon to hide, cover up, pretending to fit in even though we knew in our hearts it wasn’t us. It has taken me years to shed the imposter and allow and trust ‘me’ to just ‘be me”.
Thank you Gill… Yes the unobtainable, continual and obsessive striving for perfection undermines so many people’s lives, I know for me that the very idea of making a mistake was anathema… Thank goodness now that this may longer has a hold on me, and that life is how it is and that “ whoops is one of my favourite words “ ☺
I used to have an idea, or ideal, of what was good and true, right and wrong. This has totally turned around and is no longer a mental exercise, but a distinct feeling in my body that speaks so loudly there is no denying it. Thank you Serge Benhayon for showing us the amazing energetic beings we are – and how much we feel absolutely everything.
Jill I find that when I connect deeply with someone that I can be almost bowled over by what I feel, such strength, such love yet I am then left feeling bare and open and its not a feeling that I am used to with many people. It is however something that I am working on allowing more and more as its what I’ve always wanted.
It’s amazing how we tie ourselves up in knots to not feel what is truly taking place, and instead judge what is right or wrong, without feeling how we would be feeling without all the impositions that we have allowed in to confuse and complicate how we live. As we work our way back to simplicity we begin to embrace our essence as we allow ourselves to connect back again to our inner wisdom.
Apologising for who we are is something that we ultimately will be sorry for; for no one can be us but us, and anything less than being us is tortuous.
Thank you Jill – Your writing about being raw inspires me to deepen my own surrender to it.
Those words, ‘I want to be raw and uncut’ sound like words straight from your Soul Jill! I love the way wisdom from that source is so authentic and uses words that will cut through old behaviours and thought patterns.
This is a beautiful blog. Reading it I literally felt more spacious and accepting of not just myself but everyone else as well. It just shows the power we have when we speak the truth.
It’s exhausting hiding stuff from the world.
The freedom to just be, with no perfection – this is a gift that I need to be constantly giving myself every day. It’s such nectar to my whole body and expands the space around me allowing me to see and feel so much more of the truth of who I actually am and what is actually going on. The freedom to just be, with no perfection.
This is the opposite to what we’re taught or shown in the world Jill… that power comes through being tough and over-bearing, showing nothing of one’s ‘vulnerabilities’ as that gives the ‘enemy’ the openings they need to shoot you down. What you describe is the source of true power, being ourselves in full, allowing all to be seen. The flow on effect of this is enormous, just as it is for each of us as we let down our guards and let out what is really inside.
We are always dealing with the whole even when we think that we are only dealing with a part of it so in effect when we feel that we have achieved this there is simply an element of ignorance to that which we do not wish to bring attention to or to put another would rather not.
I love the line … “I want all of me to be seen”. This is definitely a work in progress but a line that constantly reminds me not to hold back what I have to offer another. Truly inspiring!
It feels like a big shift you had to feel and decide you do not want to live how you have lived in the past but instead to feel everything ‘raw and uncut’, this is awesome. Also this is very revealing in that things that we think are ‘good’ in truth help us to hide and deny our light and who we truly are instead! ‘Religion for me was a perfect place to hide, a huge illusion of thinking I was with God doing his work while all the time hiding and denying my light’.
I love how you observed how a change occurred to you while speaking to your friend and how you did not ignore it but started to explore what this was all about, and then were able to let go of a life-long behaviour.
Yesterday morning I had a very similar experience to what you describe Jill. I realised I was feeling very raw, fragile and vulnerable. So I gave myself absolute permission to be this, I surrendered to feeling this, with out an ounce of mind chatter. The outcome has been simply amazing. Things became immediately clear and simple, like a fog/haze had lifted and I could do whatever was before me with a lightness of being. This feeling remained all day, and through the day came more clarity. A pearl that dropped in was “if I knew this was the last moment would I choose this quality or would I choose another?”
Denying the divine light in us in any way in the name of serving God does not truly serve Him. We serve by light.
Being caught up in ‘good’ in all its forms doesn’t deliver truth and it stunts the development back to living from our inner-most essence. I never knew this before Universal Medicine but it makes so much sense. Good is no comparison to love and truth.
The words “Raw and Uncut” have certainly been redefined in your awesome blog Jill. Feeling raw physically, like as a result of a burn, is something that none of us want to experience, but the raw that you shared is more of a feeling of openness, surrender and readiness for what comes next. Today I am experiencing this rawness, so to come back for another read was incredibly timely and also very healing. I am embracing this rawness today as I know that from it will come a new depth of understanding and the opportunity for new beginnings.
I have come back to this blog again Jill and am twice inspired by your preparedness to be so honest. This commitment to yourself is an example of true power and connection to truth.
I spent much of my life apologising for who I am. It feels incredibly liberating to be in a position now where I feel I no longer have to do this, that I can claim who I am with no apology, and to start to celebrate that innate inner beauty which I know to be true for myself and that equally is true for everybody.
“I wanted to be perfect. I held onto the bible text that said “Whatsoever is good true and holy, think on these things.” So you see this cut out a lot of life by putting on those rose coloured glasses.”
This is monumental what you share here Jill. It exposes how limiting it is to only ‘see the good’. It is a consciousness that pervades us and prevents us from seeing the whole world and the beauty in all of it. I know I have had my fair share of ‘rose coloured glasses’ or ‘blinkers’ on and I think much of the world has as well. It is time to see the world as it is, and to get honest about it and to see it without tainting it. It is so important. And then to work on staying connected to ourselves so we can respond to what we see and not react.
We give up on ourselves to be of service, not realising that this is the last thing we should be doing. For to be of true service to others, one must first serve oneself fully, not in a way of being selfish, but in a way to be self-full so the the fullness of oneself is what one brings to others. Thank you Jill for your gorgeous words, your openness and inspiration.
“ I wanted to hide no more, I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok.” Love this Jill… me too…this is the only way to live.
We can be so attached to a way of being that when we expose it for what it truly is we struggle to let go of it because we have allowed it to be who we are, which in truth we are not. So realising that we have such habits and behaviours is a great start and then as and when we go into them we call them out for what they are and choose the Love that we are
I can feel how allowing myself to be more and more vulnerable is also nurturing a strength or power in me as I lay down any walls of protection that I still carry. Very profound and yet so simple.
“Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.”
This was the winning line to me in this blog. It’s a Universal paragraph that appeals to everyone. I am still digesting the first line, I am sure I will heal it soon, I get a bit closer everyday, its blogs like this that support me to keep going.
Raw and uncut as you put it Jill is how we should all naturally be in the world. Your blog is so inspiring and a great reminder that letting go of our ideals, beliefs and pictures supports us to reconnect with the light of the soul and feel true love and understand the choice we have in taking responsibility for our choice in how we live and what we emanate to the world. We have so much love available to us. Thanks for reminding me to appreciate the love that I am and to share it in my every move.
I am who I am—imperfect, re-correcting, re-learning, re-accepting every moment. Being honest and raw is freeing all the parts I have tied up in rigidity and allowing more space for Love to be filled. People who are honest and raw always touch me and I have deep appreciation for them.
Inspirational sharing Jill. To be open and vulnerable I feel is to be “raw and uncut”. Lately I have been aware that most people feel the same vulnerability as I do and have wondered why we are so protective of ourselves when so many others are feeling as we do? No wonder the world is in such a mess when we don’t trust each other, its a crazy situation.
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I also grew up with this false God, but wait a minute God is God and is not false. What I grew up with was a man-made image of a god that is used to control humanity. When you have shared about the feeling of ‘many lives’, I also feel that this is a truth that has taken on a man-made energy or reinterpretation of it’s own. The light of my soul has returned me to God whose love is so powerful that he knows I cannot resist the level of love that he presents, so I am left to my own free will to choose love. With this greater understanding of how I have returned to true love, I also understand my role in being responsible for this incarnation so I will return the light and love I hold in this life. Thank you Jill, great blog that has helped me expand my light by baring my soul, which to me is being raw and uncut.
Raw and uncut, there is incredible freedom in being perfectly okay with ourselves and not need to improve, better or change ourselves.
Thank you Jill, the freedom to be ourselves is priceless nothing in the world is worth more then the freedom to just be.
Cracker article Jill! So many juicy points revealed including the way we ‘hide’ from life: ‘As we continued sharing I sensed a feeling come over my body. It was as if a shadow had passed through me and in its passing I could feel it pulling me back into hiding, a very familiar way I had lived my life and not just this life, but for many lives’. Yes we have been hiding for centuries, from people, from committing to work, from expressing the truth. Many have been the imposts that have been cast upon us – censorship, torture, imprisonment and so we have hidden away for protection using a multitude of ingenious ways – even marrying someone getting ourselves into a situation that will keep us away from being the grand beings we are! Now we are coming out of hiding and feeling, expressing, observing and living in love.
The last lines of this blog are a stand out for me. The freedom to be ourselves without perfection is so deeply healing, unlocking lifetimes of measured and controlled ways of living. “Knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.”
“It was interesting to see the path I took as a young child of wanting to serve God. I grew up with the idea that self-sacrifice for the good of others was ‘good,’ with none of ‘me’.” How interesting that this huge consciousness that our culture has created actually makes us more self centred, shown by the guilt and shame and reaching for perfection. All those things are about trying to make ourselves felt and bring notice to ourselves. The opposite is true; if we pay full attention to all of ourselves, not cutting out half of it as you say Jill, and truly honour and respect and recognise every feeling that arises and be honest about it, then the need for recognition and making ourselves seen is irrelevant, for we are making connection with who we truly are, with no excuses or judgments, and in that we hold ourselves within the whole of humanity, and so serve truly.
I can relate here to the apologist approach to life. Why should we apologise for our own presence and what we bring to the world? Why is it any less valuable than what another brings?
TO be raw is to open yourself up to understanding the building blocks of what we call life.
Yes. And whilst it at first feels exposing in its unfamiliarity, I would rather be raw and learning than comfy and stagnating.
I’m really learning the true meaning of being vulnerable and feeling what that’s like in my body and it’s not as scary as my mind would have me believe. There is no tension and such an openness inside that I wondered why I resisted it for so long.
Letting go of images about life and ourselves allows us to live with transparency of how we feel, which is healing for all instead of living in parts trying to please others and in protection of our hurts.
Thank you for sharing Jill, and I love how you say….. ‘And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.’
There is a falsity in life that we need to protect ourselves, it is deep in our DNA that this is true and there is much around us to confirm that, but living in protection is like a blanket over the being we are.
It’s so wonderful when we can be “raw and uncut” -be transparent and claim ourselves in full, regardless of whether people around us will react or not. This is showing a true reflection instead of being” nice” and “good” in order to gain praise and recognition.
just fascinating to read this struggle, between being real and raw … just simply and completely all of ourselves vs the enormous amounts of energy we put into how we are perceived by the world. Putting up a false face that we manufacture, taking up enormous amounts of energy to sustain, and then acting as a barrier that keeps people from seeing who we really are.
Jill, great post about showing fragility, yes, it is difficult for many of us to truly be ok being with and showing our rawness, uncut-ness, because, and what I’ve found too, is just how much we care what people think of us, and in this want approval from them. It’s such a handicap. The more I appreciate and think truly of myself, the less judgment I have over myself or think someone has of me. Recognition from them about me becomes less — because I’m already recognising and valuing the whole me first.
“Because they did not fit the picture of the ‘good’ and the ‘right,’ the picture I had been sold and had taken on, as the way to God.” I have begun a journey that involves gently undressing these pictures, bringing understanding and acceptance to why they are there and how it has shrouded who I truly am.
Being good and right feels like a trap and a recipe for self punishment. This blog clearly demonstrates how easy it is to latch onto ideals and beliefs of what it means to be good and then live from that place, but at the same time refusing to challenge those beliefs. Great to see the author did challenge those beliefs.
Being actively for the others is a pretty safe way to walk in life. Creating dependence brings security, recognition, etc. They need me. Religion not just reinforces this. It also brings additional motivation into it. I am serving God. So, no one will ever dare to question me. The ultimate hideout. Yet, the truth is that the only way to serve God is by evolving and shining the light he breathed forth.
Raw and uncut, love how you describe this. Just being the truth of who you are, no hiding, no pretending and no cutting out parts you don’t like. Accepting everything about you completely and allowing that to be seen, allowing the true essence to come through in every moment.
Editing the parts of ourselves we make available or visible to others leaves us feeling as though the original version is not worth viewing, and thus we hold a perception that we are not acceptable or good enough as we are.
I like what you say about being drawn to people who are open, raw and real, and how you naturally felt a connection with them. It goes to show how we know what is true to us.
We can be so attached to a way of being that when we expose it for what it truly is we struggle to let go of it because we have allowed it to be who we are, which in truth we can not. So realising that we have such habits and behaviours is a great start and then as and when we go into them we call them out for what they are and choose the Love that we are.
I love this blog Jill, I can so relate . . . as if you were writing about me. Accept I would swing wildly from being so very good to being so very rebellious but always . . . since a very catholic upbringing . . . always imprisoned by right and wrong, good and bad. I agree it is well and truly time to stop apologizing for our very existence and present the ‘Raw and Uncut’ version of ourselves. Great blog.
Society goes on its well-worn tracks, around and around, just repeating the same old patterns, which is not only boring but extremely destructive. To choose to be ‘raw and uncut’ initiates the ability to crack that circuit and open up to the freshness and expansive way that life can be. Yes there will be imperfection, but that is the case on earth. That’s okay!
Jill thank you for your inspirational blog. I relate well to how you used to apologise for everything, I did too, almost apologising for being here and then the good and right to add to it. What a weight and restriction it is to carry around and indeed how does this impact others. Just being yourself, the real you, with no perfections is so freeing and a much simpler way of living, I too have found.
We must never underestimate the effect that we each have on another by our true energetic presence and the reflection of being genuine ‘raw’ and real.
With a rawness we are able to be who we are without all the ideals and beliefs laid on the top. We are not what we do – we are who we are first. To strip back to this and claim this is very humbling and supports others to do the same.
I guess I know exactly what you mean with the wish ‘I want to be Raw and Uncut’. I would name it for me: ‘I want to be innocent again’. No hiding, no masks, no judgment, no right or wrong – just being and growing. Curious and playful.
Being raw means accepting everything there held in my body. It was discovering Esoteric Healing and the practice of Esoteric Yoga that brought to me to experience of complete acceptance and deeper levels of surrender. The qualities I now know are there within are very much worth bringing to everyday expression, uncut.
I so understand the experience of feeling like the three monkeys of not seeing, not hearing and not speaking what is not ‘right’! What a huge trap it is, trying to be good and acceptable in the eyes of others. Far wiser to stay true and honouring of our awareness, and focus on deepening our connection and expression rather than diminishing ourself to fit in.
Every time I read this blog I am inspired to let go more of the masks I can wear in life.
Raw and uncut no need to polish other than to shine even more brightly.
As hard as it may seem to open up and let people in by the hurt that we carry that holds us in a place of protection, when we really allow ourselves to let go of and heal these hurts then it is super natural and loving to allow everyone in. Serge Benhayon is a prime example of how beautiful it really is and with the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom we are all designed to be in this quality with each other. So looking at where we are in the world there is a strong force that is running us to not be where we are naturally designed to be.
Just being – with no perfection needed – that sounds like coming home. This should be the kind of home we should be building for ourselves, focussing on a lived quality instead of a form.
“Being this close and looking into my friend’s big deep blue eyes felt very intimate and beautiful.”
How beautiful to share this level of intimacy and once shared with one person there is a possibility to share this level of intimacy with everyone.
A wonderful title Jill, ‘Raw and Uncut’ – signifying and holding so many facets – the raw and uncut film, the raw and uncut food, the raw and uncut diamond – all signifying unspoilt by art or design or fashioning. It is so great to see through the fashioning and fabricating we have done and get back to the raw material and go from there.
There is no truth in hiding behind our masks of good and right, all the pictures we are sold and take on. The only truth and real power comes from within us… where it has always been, waiting for us to connect and accept as who we truly are.
We learn from very young to present a clean cut, perfected version of ourselves to the world, but in this we often miss out on the deeper connection and learning we can have when we are raw with ourselves and others.
‘I was like one of the three wise monkeys not wanting to hear, see, or speak what life was really about. I wanted to be perfect.’ – We are very good at fooling ourselves to thinking that everything is fine as long as the facade is shiny and polished, when really, underneath there can be a complete disharmony, we just do not allow ourselves to feel it.
Raw and uncut feels very true for me today Jill. I feel very much like stopping hiding and exposing all those holes I had left lying open in the past, feeling them and sealing them. Thoughts like compromising, feelings like jealousy, emotions like frustration are being exposed and thrown out to reveal the raw and true uncut beauty within. We are all able to make these choices of change.
Jill, reading this has really inspired me. Isn’t it amazing that the cut out bits are still there ready and waiting? Like in film, the edited version only exists because of the original version which came first. I love how you have embraced and claimed back those cut parts that you worked so hard to cut out in the first place. ‘I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before.’ The fragility, the vulnerability, the rawness, the uncut-ness- I want to meet this a million times more than I want to meet the edited version.
Reading this has asked me to deeply consider how I’ve lived thinking that I am not good enough for God. Or perhaps it’s me knowing God and the infinite love, the true power of being held, of observation, and knowing defying this and confirming myself in God’s name. Reconnecting to knowing this is not what God would do and is a creation if my own doing gives me the freedom to return to love. There is no judgement from God only a more expansive love as a person realises they are divine from beneath the camoflage of mud through choosing to jump in the mud and then say they’re stuck!
I love this sharing Jill, so many times I get caught up in the wanting to get it right and to please for recognition but once understanding Serge Benhayon’s teaching that life has nothing to do with what we do but how we actually go about life and the quality of energy that we are choosing. Here I started to really see that there is two types of energy and I have a choice every moment to align to the Divine and be All of who I am or seek what I think I need from outside of me. How empowering is that!
Well said Jill. Raw and Uncut, without the shadow of self-judgement obscuring our vulnerability, brings depth, expansion and closeness to others. Protecting ourselves by hiding is isolating and unfulfilling and serves no one, it only feeds a false sense of security that has a bottomless appetite.
It occurs to me reading this again that our reactions are an process of editing what we originally felt in the moment so that in fact the we can leave the ‘raw and uncut’ which may feel uncomfortable in order to protect ourselves from what we do not want to feel.
Jill, I love this blog. I realised that when I get ‘raw and uncut’ as I have been working on recently, I am, in turn, revealed for the choices I’ve been making which have got me to where I am. And often that means Ouch! But this is all part of it – and an opportunity to not make those choices anymore. An opportunity to make a choice not to hide our light, to take responsibility, to be all that we are.
“… what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” The Art of Being is a forgotten art, one that is being restored through the extensive work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and one that is consequently being steadily reclaimed by thousands of people, you and me included all around the world. This is an awesome un-veiling of the truth of who we really are, tender, wise and immensely loving so why cover that up anymore? Thank you Jill for so openly and honest sharing your journey back to who you truly are.
Brendon such a valuable point to make as it seems the common practice of most of us to be constantly looking at how far we have to go, rather than how far we’ve come.
Jill, I absolutely love reading your blog – it is like I can hear your gorgeous gentle voice saying the words to me and bringing this amazing warmth, vulnerability and fragility – in which we all can find our strength. Thank you!
I agree Jill – it is a great revelation once we can feel that ‘freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever’ and to realise that all the discomfort of trying to fit in was taking us away from our innermost – our true connection to ourselves, to one another and to God. To begin to discover that we are enough supports us to let go of the need and reach out and expand our experience of true connection and allows us to feel that we are truly the Sons of God.
‘What ever comes up for me is okay’ – yes it is. How many of us feel bad, or think we should only be feeling a certain way – often to keep other people happy, to not expose what’s going on for them, in this we are denying ourselves, our light, our feelings, and everything that’s our body is sharing with us, fighting evolution you could say. Because we have a picture, or a stubborn heel dug in, of how we should be.
The joy of learning about and accepting reincarnation as a fact is that it enables us to understand how some things feel so ingrained in our behaviour, and knocks on the head the ‘Nature or nurture’ question. How great it is to understand that everything we experience is the result of all our choices throughout all our lives as well as this one, and that the choices we make now will affect our future lives.
Jill, I used to apologise a lot unnecessarily, ‘During my life I was always apologising, saying sorry for this or that; even if it wasn’t my fault so to speak, it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air.’ Now that I am aware of why I used to apologise and it was for me a lack of self worth and not feeling worthy of taking up space, I have now stopped apologising, my self worth has increased and I know that I deserve to occupy space in the world, and I am aware of the qualities that I bring, this is a big change.
As I came to the end of this article I could see you collecting up all the pieces of you, from the cutting room floor, that had been discarded over the years and the true movie being shown for the first time. Thank you, Jill for sharing so openly and for the inspiration you have offered up.
Learning to stay with our bodies when we react to something and just expressing how we are feeling, stops us from judging what may be happening and keeps it real and with the moment, and more able to nominate what has actually changed our bodies so that we stay the observer and don’t absorb, and claim our truth within it.
We desperately crave being seen raw and uncut – as we are; and yet put so much effort into shaping the way we are seen, thus denying ourselves the beauty of being completely and absolutely seen in truth.
I can very much relate to the feeling of putting yourself to one side, in favour of dedication to another – be it a person, group, religion, work etc. In this dismissal, the wheel of seeking recognition is endless, because nothing can fill the space where connection with ourselves should reside.
When we are raw and uncut there is an honesty that cannot be denied, and this honesty unifies – because we all feel the truth of what is going on for each other, and to express it confirms us all.
I know self sacrificing very well. I’ve come to understand that it is pure evil and a huge illusion. God loves himself so much that he’s able to hold our plane of life – earth – 24 hours a day, 365 days a year and this allready for aeons. And he does so joyfully because he knows that one day we will return to the loving beings we are. Accepting God is one for me, but accepting that I’m equal to God or Jesus or Buddha is something I’m still struggling with. I’m allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, rather than having to be perfect and try controlling myself and the world. Being raw and uncut feels like giving myself permission to just be me, with all my imperfectionism. But also with all my love, tenderness, playfullness, delicateness, manlyness, sensitivity, humour etc.
The God who condemns and judges cannot be the same God who is the pure essence of Universal Love. The condemning God is a creation of the man who chooses self-flagellation and fools himself into thinking that he is purifying himself for God’s sake. When the truth is, such a man is only trying to control what he cannot. Such a man attempts to control his body and what he feels, instead of surrendering to what is inescapable: that we are all loved by God without measure.
Staying with that lovely open and vulnerable feeling of transparency – with no protection – no matter how difficult a situation truly supports us. And brings love and healing to our relationships in ways we can’t possibly imagine if we stay protected and impenetrable.
What a blessing that you had the opportunity to see the difference between you being open and expansive in one moment and becoming closed and protected the next. And thank you for sharing this and your insights. So many of us spend years knowing we crave closer relationships, feeling appreciated and valued, yet we do not put two and two together to realising it starts with a choice of being more “raw and uncut”, simply our openness and expressing all the love that we are.
Truly knowing and connecting to my Soul I can feel I am held by God. How we choose to allow how much we are held is what determines the quality of our body. It’s incredible just to comment on and put words to this absolute truth.
There is something amazing in being completely open and honest – it provides an incredible ease in my body as I know I am simply being me and not trying to be anything or anyone else or measure or compare myself against something outside me. I know it can be uncomfortable at times to live with this level of transparency and I certainly do not live it all the time. I feel this discomfort only exists because I have not fully accepted myself or deeply loved myself enough to know that it is ok to be exactly where I am as I am.
Being honest is healing, for me there is no other way to go about it, to be open up, be transparent, express and be able to look at what is not healed, rather than attempting to protect it and allow to it to look good but feel true. And with this awareness I am now beginning to bring more love in to my life, so truth is held in love and there is a rawness held in love.
Being ‘Raw and Uncut’ are great words to be given, Jill I know for myself when I hear these words it shows a willingness to be exposed. When I started my job in the supermarket I felt raw and exposed, I had spent the last 20 years working for myself and this job showed the comfort I had created for myself and how self centred I had allowed myself to become, I could do as I pleased and this job exposed my arrogance and lack of true responsibility. The first year or so was very uncomfortable as I learned to let go of my arrogance and start to build a true and more honest foundation.
‘Since I have come to know that I am not what I do…’ – This is huge – a lot of people, if not most, are driven by the idea that they are defined by what they do, and so it becomes what they identify themselves with – at the complete expense of who they innately are.
Dispensing with ‘good’ and ‘right’ and my version of perfection as something to achieve has been, and continues to be, liberating, loving and inspiringly revelatory. And as my relationship with me lightens up, so does my relationship with others and life.
Jill I also feel the pull to be raw, to be uncut and ultimately to be “real” as in I spent so much of the start of my life trying to be someone for someone, anything and everything but be me that the more I started to live as me the more the pull to be even more me, to not alter what I say or do for another because I don’t feel worthy or value myself. This for me is what true freedom starts with.
Being completely honest with ourselves and where we are at allows for the beauty of transparency. I have allowed more of this recently, and I feel humble and fragile and more open. I found that until I expressed what I was feeling to the appropriate person I was holding back and contracting even though I was being honest with myself. When I shared honestly with the person concerned instead of talking to everyone else I felt more connected and more claimed in myself. There really is a beauty in allowing this vulnerability to be seen. We do not lose anything from it, we in fact bring more love into our lives.
When I hear the phrase ‘being raw and uncut’, I hear stop trying and just be you, we put so much wasted effort into being perfect and giving a polished performance when what the world truly wants, or needs, is authenticity.
I was influenced by religion in this life and I am sure in many more lives before and thus doing good and right. I was ‘nothing’ so doing good gave me the right of being here. Doing the right things in life was so ingrained that it’s still something that I have to be very aware of and to choose to be very honest about how I live my life and honour my strong connection with God. I love the way you expressed here; ‘Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” It is an ongoing process and let’s leave the perfection otherwise we are back in the doing good and right.
Thank you, Jill, for sharing the process of cutting through the old beliefs and ideals about how you should be in the eyes of God. I can feel the freedom you now experience in allowing yourself to be, and in that the joy of connecting truly to God and his beholding and eternal love.
I too have felt a sense of wonder and jealousy at those who are open and simply being themselves. This quote from your blog stood out today Jill – ‘In them I saw an honesty that I was not able to give myself because I was so tied up, literally, with the ‘good’ and ‘right.’ Its only me that can free myself for the bondage of good and right and already the steps I have taken to do this have left me feeling very free and open, even if a little raw.
We might not consider ourselves religious or that religion has anything to do with who we are, yet if we take a step back surely we would see that we have taken on religion’s intrinsic idea of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and living a life that is ‘right’. It is so traditional and ingrained that we don’t even seem to question whether it is true, and so naturally it becomes part of you. I love that you have reached a stage where you questioned this Jill and started to consider what life would be like if you embrace it all not just the parts of that seem right. It’s very inspiring and timely for me to read.
While we can say we do not judge (classify events as right or wrong) our bodies can show us otherwise. The more we listen to what we feel in our bodies, the more we can understand how entrenched and insidious the impact of holding onto hurts can be.
I have to say Jill that I have been initiating ‘diving’ into writing comments and articles in a raw and uncut sort of way, without refining, without censoring. It feels very freeing, and it is also interesting in how sometimes when I get someone to read what I have written (articles) they stumble a bit over phrases that I would previously have censored. this is where feeling the energy of what is being said is so crucial – and this determines what I will present in the ‘final cut’.
What a great surrender Jill – from the ‘good’ and ‘nice’ martyr to the raw and uncut. For starters we can see the diamond now with the brilliance of its Light never to be denied.
This is a glimpse into the grip and stranglehold of ‘good’ and ‘right’ and how these ideals can hold us all in abeyance from living the lives we are here to live.
“It was interesting to see the path I took as a young child of wanting to serve God. I grew up with the idea that self-sacrifice for the good of others was ‘good,’ with none of ‘me’.” It’s interesting too Jill how in many religions, the idea of serving God has been inextricably entwined with the notion of negating self in order to serve Him. I know without doubt, in the very make up of my own body, that to serve God is to first take every care possible – to take care of my own life and way of living, with my connection to God being something that is lived (and enjoyed!) rather than a negation of oneself.
“I grew up with the idea that self-sacrifice for the good of others was ‘good,’ with none of ‘me’. I didn’t want a ‘me’, and that is exactly what it was, I was caught up in the being ‘good’ and doing ‘good,’ with none of my true self.” – Jill this is a common theme that many religions preach and society also asks of women too. In fact it is often frowned upon or seen as selfish if we do happen to put our own self care as a priority. I too grew up with this approach of self sacrifice and self denial thinking that this was good and the right thing to do, that as a woman it was about being there for others only and not for myself. But thankfully I came across the teachings of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and I began to realise that I too am equally as important as everyone else.
Feeling raw and uncut can be delicate and beautiful as we let the guard down of walled protection we armour ourselves in.
The images and pictures we try to live up to whether it is in the name of God (religions) or simply our own self-imposed behaviours and ideals, they only serve to lead us away from who we truly are.
Dear Jill,
You describe what I have, once again, come to know true religion to be. I know from the deepest well of truth inside me that to be religious in the true (original) sense is, as you say to ‘unbind’ from all that I have used to repress my beautiful self. I know that to be devoted to living “the realness of who I am” everyday serves all of us equally.
In my “realness” I know I am love, I know I am held in love and I love all others equally… no belief or ideal could get me to feel this way or to know this level of Love for myself and humanity.
When the “what I am” becomes more important than the “what I do” – life starts making sense.
I’ve had the picture, belief that I didn’t count. I was here to support others. A very serious task, so I sold myself for years. Now I’m feeling how this is actually not true and in fact also a perfect way to hide and not having to feel the grand light that I am. Nothing extraordinary, yet magical in the way that where ever the light is let out, the whole space is lighting up. Getting light-er. How Magic is that. God’s expression on earth, only feelable. To allow myself to feel the magic all of the time is still a way to go. I’m looking joyfully forward to what life will reveal. There’s a Divine plan to restore brotherhood on earth, I’m to play my part. Just as everyone else.
Expressing truth is everything. There is nothing more liberating!
I love the way you describe ‘uncut’. No bit of life held back, no part of you unseen, no part of you hidden for the sake of appearances. Nothing reserved for certain people or situations – everything available to be seen by everyone, even if this means feeling vulnerable. This is inspiring.
I know this level of intimacy that you talk about Jill, and to allow ourselves to experience it with another is very beautiful. What I find though is that I can allow it for a certain amount of time, before I start to feel uncomfortable and want to walk away. It is great to be aware of this and I am understanding that I am avoiding my own stillness when another person is reflecting back to me with their gaze, what is already there for me to feel.
Your honesty true love and knowing of God inside shines out magnificently and is the opposite from the empty do gooding way of before. Inspirational and beautiful thank you for sharing this a real reflection of what happens when we take responsibility for our lives and who we are.
Meeting someone who is ‘raw and uncut’ is also so rare that it makes a very lasting impression. I remember years and years ago meeting someone in Spain and we spent the whole evening chatting away. I woke the next morning and realised that I had no idea what job the guy did. It’s a tiny detail but very significant in that the 99.9% default that 99.9% of men go to when they first meet is that question “so what do you do”. We spent the whole evening connecting on a much deeper level – so that such frivolous and irrelevant small talk never came up. One small example – but the fact that I remember it illustrates how rare it can be. Nowadays, after committing more and more to this level of connection and communication, I have scores of friends whom I have no idea what their job is!
When I meet someone who is “raw and uncut” it has the affect of cutting through all the small talk, all the pretence and games are sliced away and the I am left with the choice to truly connect. If I present myself “raw and uncut” to someone else, then it is the same – and then their choice to truly connect.
It is such a rare commodity to find in today’s world a person that is raw and uncut. But they are so easy to spot, like the single snowflake in a coal pile. Its is well past time and we need a blizzard for us all to see who we truly are.
Being totally open and honest has so much more integrity than being good, thanks Jill
As a child I learnt to be good, looking back it was like putting a straight jacket on a flower.
Thank you Jill, there are some really great points here.
Being intimate is a wonderful thing. Yes, raw and uncut, but also very, very loving. It feels very natural, yet to me it feels completely new in this life. Being intimate with others requires first and foremost intimacy with myself.
Intimacy is our natural way of being, every-thing else has been plastered on top.
“As we continued sharing I sensed a feeling come over my body.” I know this feeling, and it often happens at moments in my life that are too pure, divine and beautiful to believe. I feel I do not accept the beauty and glory in such a moment and with that call in the doubt which can come in so very easily. I am now learning to accept and feel I am worthy of these amazing moments naturally so.
Honesty is not just something we apply when we overtly express a lie to one another. It is something worth applying to all our life and seeing if what we live is truly what we preach.
The understanding that every choice I make affects my state of being and how I feel at any given time, has been completely life changing for me and is a forever deepening process.
This is something I can feel I am being called from within to look more into and to honour, that every movement and choice I make has a ripple affect on both myself and others.
“I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok.”. Raw, uncut and absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing this Jill.
How gorgeous Jill – you are feeling all of the beauty you are and those around you are getting to be with more of you too. The choice to open up to life and allow it’s truth to be felt is amazing and the vitality and depth it has brought to you can be felt. Truly inspirational, thank you for sharing.
I agree Jill that there’s something amazing about people who you can tell are open, uncut and honest with everyone – it’s very assuring that they’re loyal to who they are and don’t play into games or ideals and beliefs… In my opinion the best trait in a friend is when they’re real and you know they will be honest with you regardless of the situation.
Understanding and accepting just how magnificent we are is the subject of life and what Universal Medicine teachings are based on. It’s quite remarkable after attending a Universal Medicine weekend of events or a 3 day course one can feel absolutely amazing. You get to feel the real you. All the energy in your body stopping you from feeling just amazing is lifted. It just proves we are made of energy. We are all given the keys energetically directly or indirectly and it’s our responsibility to choose it or not – no apology needed just full expression of that love.
Deepening my honesty and sharing this with others leads me to a door where I can unlock a freedom within.
Thank you for sharing your experiences with being ‘Good’ and doing God’s work. Growing up I always knew God but then came along the school, parent and Sunday School version of God, which really confused me. Here all of a sudden was someone who I should hide from and this worried me, having a person who would punish me and knew all of my ill thoughts and behaviours, which just created an anxiousness. It’s easy to see how this relationship built on lies can easily distort our innate knowing of who and what God is.
“And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” Dropping all the pressures we perceive from family, society, our expectations etc. to be or achieve something and just being IS such freedom.
If everybody would be raw and uncut, we would have less issues in this world.
How many of us get caught in the web of being/doing ‘good’ with little or no regard for ourselves. In this process of choosing to place what we think we should do or how we should be for others we are not even considering how this may be affecting our own self, or how very restricted and confined this way of living is, or in fact how we even don’t truly know ourselves and how lost we are. Once we begin to stop hiding and start being open and our true selves with others we begin to know ourselves on a far deeper level too and as you express Jill, it’s so freeing to simply accept that by being our self we are indeed enough; in fact we are amazing.
Tonight I was talking to a dear friend of mine and I felt angry about something (people drinking alcohol). What I could feel is that the anger was there because I find it difficult that a) people drink alcohol when there are children around and b) to start the conversation with people on why they do so, even when the damage is explained to them. What I realised is how I’ve ‘shut my mouth’. Whereas I’m realising now that I too am allowed to say what I feel to say – even if people might not like it or react. Raw and uncut and maybe sometimes not the most friendly when it’s communicated for the first time. Thank you Jill once again.
If we compare ourselves to others, it is little wonder we develop apologetic patterns, dismissal, pleasing behaviour and critical self assessment. Surrendering to our innate wisdom, beauty and power is deeply healing and is possible when we connect and return to our own breath and body and stop focusing on everyone else’s rhythms and choices.
It strikes me how much energy we can put into holding ourselves small or in putting out a facade rather than genuinely being open and allowing ourselves to be seen. And how beautiful it is when someone is truly accepting of themself and how that supports others to feel more at ease and naturally open too.
When we set ourselves free from the tensions that we place onto ourselves in the name of God or whatever, our bodies fire up and it is such a joy to move our bodies when we are actually present with them. There really is nothing like it.
It is as though we decide at a certain point in life that in order to fit in and be accepted, we need to deny the true part of ourselves, the part that knows and can feel what is of truth and what is not.
Raw and uncut – is the natural way of being ourselves…its seems raw when we strip back a way of living that was false. If we were to live naturally who we are – raw and uncut would not be known.
“What freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.”… I can feel from your words how freeing that feels! I am not quite there yet on having let go of the perfection stakes but I can sense what that might be like through your writing!
‘So what did not fit in with the ‘picture’ of ‘good’ did not even exist in my line of sight;…’ This is super interesting to contemplate just how many situations in life we apply a picture to which forms an ideal which we seek to achieve. All from a point outside of ourselves.
Perfectionism is one of the greatest blights upon humanity’s life. So many of us adopted it as an ideal and got duped into forever striving for perfection on a planet where this cannot work. We chose to get really precise about ‘creating’ things and events and forgot about the freedom of simply being who we are in everything we do. Like all ideals perfectionism spells ‘death’. As you say Jill: ‘I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.’
Jill, your blog is utterly beautiful, I love this, ‘I wanted to hide no more, I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok.’This is so supportive to read, this gives me permission to simply be me, that I do not need to try or be a certain way, that I am I am enough – very powerful!
Allowing ourselves to feel all that is there, without cutting out the pieces that we think are ‘not good’ is one of the biggest gifts we can offer ourselves as it is paramount to our healing process and our return to soul.
Connection is the new black, to let someone see who you truly are is very sexy.
This blog is just magical! love your movie analogy with cutting out the bits and only leaving the “good” bits. This is so accurate. It’s as if we are only showing people what we want them to see, but it is all there anyway.
Yes, we delude ourselves believing that we can hide parts of ourselves from others but can only do this for so long before we realise it does not work. Far better to ‘come clean’ – raw -from the beginning.
I can also relate to how empty and in denial I was in the past and also very angry as I held the belief that God had abandoned me….truth was I had abandoned myself and shut out his love, which made my life very complicated and hard. It is a work in progress but I am slowly learning to love myself and to allow myself to express my innate gentleness and divineness. That said, the hardness and the trying to get it right still tries to hold me back.
In my late twenties or early thirties I was sold a version of God I felt was false, it was a version of God that was the same as you have described, ‘one who judges and condemns, with no love or compassion for the fragility of my being.’ To me this didn’t make any sense because I knew in my heart that this was not the God that I know. God is all loving, nonjudgmental and doesn’t punish us. Also I knew that a true religion would not divide or separate humanity but is here to unite us and inspire us to return to harmony. At the time I couldn’t see any of the world religions reflecting what I so deeply felt. Years later, I came to The Way of The Livingness, a religion that celebrates God and who we are in truth.
Living “raw and uncut” in full transparency with no protection is such a great place to be. It enables another to be this also, which then allows for a deeper intimacy in relationships.
I can relate to ‘being good’ in the name of God which led me to always do for others without any real “me” in it. Thank you for your honest sharing and revealing what true service is really about.
It is a beautiful thing to be able to be in the presence of others and not hide our vulnerability. It is so often seen as a weakness, but it is actually quite the opposite. It takes strength to allow ourselves to be seen in this way.
Jill I feel that a lot of the consciousness that surrounds many so called ‘spiritual disciplines’ have the notion of ‘dissolving the self’ in order to reach a perceived elevated state. But what I have come to feel from my involvement with Universal Medicine is that the more I focus on myself the more I not only commit to others but the more I commit to God.
Jill ‘hiding’ is something that most of us have done for eons. We think that we are being ‘us’ and expressing the truth but that is not the truth. The reason why we don’t realise this is because very few people are not in hiding, therefore ‘hiding’ mascarades itself
Jill ‘hiding’ is something that most of us have done for eons. We think that we are being ‘us’ and expressing the truth but this is not the truth. The reason why we don’t realise this is because very few people are not in hiding, therefore ‘hiding’ mascarades itself as truth, when in reality it’s just a sham.
“… life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart …” And the presentations and workshops that Serge Benhayon presents takes us straight back here immediately, reconnecting us with our wise, warm internal essence and hence returns us to our core Truth. And once we feel this within our selves again then we are empowered to realise and unpick all those ideals and beliefs that we clung to in the past as the poor substitutes for our Divinity that they are.
When we have an opportunity to take time to stand close with a friend, looking into their eyes, we can feel and see the absolute beauty that is there before us.
Totally raw and uncut is the only way I can see my life moving forward from now on. Forever I have made out that, that is where I’m coming from but still too afraid of stepping on someones toes or saying the wrong thing but if it is done with gentleness, tenderness and fragility it can’t go too badly wrong can it?
Yes Kevin and a lovely reminder for me today that;’ if it is done with gentleness, tenderness and fragility it can’t go too badly wrong can it?’ And also we are not asked to be perfect……but I can feel my body asking me to be present!
Yesterday a lady whom I know held my hand as she felt it was on the cool side. I immediately went into observing myself while at the same time feeling the lady. Initially I was ok but then I found myself wanting to withdraw. I didn’t, I carried on observing as I surrendered and let go. Moments like this are missed if we choose to hold to on to our hurts but allowing others into our hearts brings about such beauty and intimacy in our relationships.
Raw and uncut, without needing to protect with religion and ideals and beliefs, just naked and raw and vulnerable. This is an ongoing process for me as well, to let go of everything I am aware of which does hinder truth and love coming through my body.
This blog describes so clearly to me that being or doing the ‘good’ is not true to us at all as it comes from a lack of self worth and from living in disregard with who we truly are. We are in essence precious and tender beings in constant connection with the higher order we belong to, the order of the Universe. Of course living in denial and in ignorance of this fact does give us the feeling that we have to do something ‘good’ to make us feel better, but in truth does not serve anybody and only takes us further away from our path of return.
Thank you for your contribution and your candour. What I feel it shows is that subscribing to ‘good’ in its many forms becomes a veritable prison.
Thank you Jill for this powerful reminder that whenever we are being our true selves in full, expressing the Light of our Soul, we are in connection to our Divinity and as such serving God.
Living who we are, without protection is a work in progress for me. I didn’t even realise what protection I was carrying. I didn’t realise that the ways I had developed of speaking with people and dealing with the world were developed to keep the world, people and eventually the real me, at bay. There is such lightness in letting this go. Lightness and joy filter back into our lives when we are ourselves.
We have a world full of many ‘pious’ and ‘righteous’ people, but we have very little love, harmony and brotherhood. These virtues are clearly not the answer, but are rather that shadow you mention that holds us back from the truth.
“uncut” to be really transparent and open, to create a true and deeper connection in all our relationships.
Reflecting on your opening words Jill it’s interesting to note how most of us can only stand so much intimacy before we withdraw – and some of us can’t stand it at all! Oh to get to a place where we are 100% OK with being 100% open. This would be a beautiful and revelatory place to be.
This is so true Victoria, I notice this about myself. There have been times where I felt myself withdraw when I felt too much intimacy with another person. But now, I am learning to be more and more open to allow intimacy to develop and deepen because it is our natural way and also I could feel the tension in my body whenever I resisted intimacy..
Being good and right – this is a great topic to expose what goes on when you subscribe to the theory that we should be good and do the right thing (or always be right!). It feels to me like they are cloaks that we wear upon us that ultimately do hide our true self. Because it is an idea/an ideal and belief that we take on and then somehow try to live out. We strive for it. But when we remove the cloaks and allow our natural self to come out. the irony is there is much more ‘good’ in there than trying to be ‘good’.
Sarah I love this as its also been my experience, whenever I am caught in good or bad nothing is true, yet when I let go of both life really opens up and I feel far more at ease with myself.
Looking deeply into somebody’s eyes is something I still am to ‘get used’ to. I feel so much love if I truly connect that I alsmost instantly ‘freak out’ and disconnect. As if I’m not allowed to truly see them. Even though it’s absolutely gorgeous and beautiful to receive the true beauty and love of somebody. Being intimate requires a solid choice as far as I understand for now.
Jill your elaboration of what ‘uncut’ meant, unravelled something in me, how we segment our lives and do not allow ourselves to see so many details that we think are unworthy. Embracing all of who we are allows us to let go of the image of perfection, one easily renounced in words, but not so easily in truth.
Being ‘raw and uncut’ brings an honesty and a transparency to our lives – we become honest with ourselves and with each other which brings a deeper level of connection in all our relationships.
That false notion of a God who ‘judges and condemns’ rules many people’s lives until we give up choosing to be a victim. Once we start to love and appreciate ourselves we cannot help but connect with God who “holds me in absolute love”.
Our pictures of perfection stifle us… they sabotage us from being who we truly are – that expansive and all inclusive harmony that creates brotherhood. Our images set us up to fail because we constantly strive for the ‘perfect’ when there is no perfection in this world… everything is as it should be to reflect back to us the way we are living.
Jill, your blog really spoke to me as I have similar patterns of editing myself to fit a picture of how I should be to please others. It’s tiring to try and sustain it and it keeps me from being in the fullness of who I am. I like your title “Raw and Uncut” lovely to just allow ourselves to be without monitoring every move. “What freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.”
Jill what you have shared is ‘raw and uncut’, what a powerful, gorgeous, truth woman you are, cutting back who you are not and how you constructed yourself. This is something many of us have done, constructed ourselves under different banners, and your banner was the one of ‘good’. It is so stifling. I too had the ‘good’ one so what you have share has resonated. I no longer live like that, i live who i am, and it is very honouring, and my whole life has changed. It is such a celebration to bring you into the world, into your life, into your relationships. Life becomes about love, truth and joy!
It is extraordinary the different ways in which we all protect ourselves from the harshness of the world.
The ‘good and the right’ which you have described so well Jill, is one of the major ones which many of us adopt as a shield. There are others like the ‘bad and the wrong’!! But it makes one ask the question that, when so many seem to adopt these particular patterns which aren’t ourselves, what is the origin of if these patterns and where do they come from? Once this is known then we can work our way out of the paper bag!
Standing true in who we are is simple living, without effort, angst or the tension of needing to reinvent or represent ourselves to the world and be other than our natural expression.
Life is simple, with respect very simple. How we are at any point is the sum total of how we have been prior to that point. We can put on a polished performance but in the end we can’t deny the truth of how we have lived up to any point. So if we truly want things to change then the power is to change or develop a way to live that consistently has and holds you in it. That would mean at any moment there is no need to solve the problem in front of you but merely keep confirming you have you there. In other words connect to how you feel, not thinking or letting yourself drift off somewhere else just stay with yourself in the moment. The more moments you have you in the less room there is for anything else and that way when you walk to any moment you have everything you need because you have you. We don’t realise that by dividing ourselves up like we do we are actually hurting ourselves. Just stop and look at any point where your thoughts are, if they’re not actually with or about what you are doing then this is already a division. The more time you spend in one place the more this quality will support you and everything around you.
I love the transparency of this. I am discovering, both with myself and with others that when someone is raw and uncut, it is very hard to hold them in anything but love. Vulnerability is a beautiful thing and is a great strength.
‘I was born into this world with a disease called Neurofibromatosis – it was very mild and not picked up until my sixties – which I feel was the result of a complete denial of my light, the truth of who I am deep within and where I truly come from.’ I love that you are introducing the fact of re-incarnation here and that our conditions can stem from the same choices made over many life times. How awesome to know that after a pattern of many lives we can finally choose to bust out of the momentum we have chosen to be in. This blog is testament to the fact that we can choose to develop our awareness and start to see our patterns for what they are and to understand why we have made them without judgement – to move on and let them go.
With reading this I can feel the lack of transparency I live by. It’s like I consciously live putting my good face to the camera and edit out the parts that go on in private, whether in my head or house. However, these parts are never edited out but felt by all especially me and result in my apologetic way. Being honest with myself about them, asking what is beneath these behaviours/ thoughts/anxieties/ distractions I indulge in. When I come to a deeper understanding of myself and make choices in keeping with who I truly am, accept the responsibility inherent in being here I then can come from inside out and not focus on what’s outside, how I wish to be perceived and received.
I love it when just the right words are found to help cut a pattern or a cycle that we have held onto or hidden behind. I have learned that those words are very individual and specific but once they are found it is like placing a key in lock. We are unique in our expression and that uniqueness holds a magic that is needed in the world.
To allow others to see who we are and let go of needing to live up to whatever picture we might have of how we ‘should be’ is a super powerful way to live – not only does it affect ourselves and our wellbeing but it affects everyone else and allows them to just be themselves as well.
It’s funny how we feel we have to apologise for the way we live, as if others can be offended by us being who we are. Sadly, many of us have an image of the perfect us which is completely unattainable. Instead we need to accept who we are, what we are and where we are at. Not only accept, but appreciate. There’s a bit of a conflict because there is always a feeling that we should be doing more, but in truth it is less about the doing, but more about be-ing. We measure ourselves by what we do but it is our energetic quality that matters.
This blog is a breath of fresh air. I know that I have bemoaned the mistakes and challenges I have been faced with in life. I am starting to feel that perhaps this was simply my way of denying responsibility for what I have chosen and created. When I go a step further and try to cut the mistakes out altogether I miss out on the blessing of the correction that is offered.
We grow up so connected to our inner world, then over time learn how to live less and less from this. We learn to perform and compete. We learn to act from our thoughts and not what is felt in our bodies. Until we get to a point where we miss feeling whole, complete and the enjoyment of our own natural quality and choose to bring it back into our everyday.
Being wrong can be one of the most liberating moments in a person’s life.
In our current world we are not encouraged to be ‘raw and uncut’ – we are conditioned to be a certain way, to see things a certain way, to turn a blind eye to things that don’t fit the picture. And yet inside we hide in agony the parts of us that are not accepted to be shown on the outside, the parts of us that we learn to pretend very well that they no longer exist, until the day comes when we just have to let them out, have to let ourselves be ‘raw and uncut’. Jill, this is very powerful and beautiful what you have shared here, and really gorgeously inspiring! Thank you!
Hmm, there have been many edits on the cutting room floor of my life, me cutting me out of the picture time and again if I didnt measure up to how I, or my perception of how the world, thought I should behave. It is a great relief to just ‘be’ and cut out the ‘have’. Being raw and uncut, me, ‘warts and all’ certainly has its vulnerable moments but the result as you share speaks for itself – freedom.
Being good is a facade that can be incarcerating, even though on the outside it fits the part. Being raw does not make life comfortable for you or for others, but it is a state of being that at least allows things to be seen, and in doing so, presents the opportunity for things to be dealt with. But as for a person who spends their life being “good”, how can you possibly convince them that they are angry or frustrated, when they cannot even admit it themselves, for fear that it may not be seen to be good.
Such a way of being is an imprisonment that ultimately prevents one from knowing their true selves, and yet it is a state of being that we champion and praise. Oh, she is so lovely and nice – would not harm a fly. And that is all well and good, but I would venture that whilst such a person may exhibit such acceptable virtues, they are a million miles from what is actually true love. And I say this not as a judgement, but the fact is that as a human race we have been fooled as to what true love actually entails. Likewise, we have been fooled by benevolence as being indicative of our highest capacity for good. And so long as we put our spare change to charity, as long as we look the part, then never do we question that there might be more to life – a deeper connection from which what we call decency and good is but the lowest bar of our true nature. In fact good, does not even come into it. For love can be “tough”, so to speak. Love can make one do things that on the surface may seem harsh, or unjust. If one subscribes to being “good”, however, one is incapable of undertaking or even understanding such actions that sometimes are necessary for what one could term “the higher good”, if you like. Only it is not really the higher good to which I infer, but rather our true divine nature. For when one starts to ponder on our true nature, when one starts to connect to the divinity that is inherently within, and here I refer to a state of being that is eternal, and not constrained by physical life, then one starts to understand life in a completely different context, and that includes the revelation that what we call good or benevolence is actually not even close to representing the true capacity for love that resides within us all.
Adam, such beautiful words, that do so capture and deepen on another level what Jill has so gorgeously shared. Blogs like the one Jill has written with such candid openness are ones that open up the conversation, allowing people to share what has been hidden in little pockets and allow us to ponder on the things we deem as being ‘normal’ and ‘good’ in our society that might actually be, as you have said above Adam, a simple facade to distract us and direct us away from the true issue at hand.
You make a clear distinction here about what appears good and ticks the box and allows us to play it safe in the game of society, versus what is true love which is far more powerful and exposing than the greatest ‘good’ we may come across. Love simply is. Where as ‘good’ tries hard, all of the time. It tries hard to pretend that it is love, when it falls short by miles. The power or one breath of love can obliterate a thousand years of ‘good’ which goes to show that good actually holds no substance or truth.
Ahhh Adam you have nailed it so beautifully. Being ‘Good’ looks so great and ticks all the boxes, but in truth it traps us and everyone else in living a fraction of the love and glory that is our true expression.
Beautiful Jill and so real ” whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty”
I love feeling this raw and uncut way of being and so completely different true and freeing from the doing good way we are taught and teach in life.
How very beautiful Jill that you were able to finally come to a place where you were “able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” These words feel so very precious to me, words that speak the truth of where you now find yourself; with the most gorgeous you.
Being wrong is awesome – when allowed and embraced. It is a door to connection, humility, allowing support, intimacy, tenderness, deeper relationships and fragility. All gorgeous things. We should all allow, embrace and welcome being wrong – my feeling is that we’d get to true brotherhood a whole lot quicker.
Very true. I love what you are saying here ottobathurst.
I received powerful messages as a child to be good and to please others, behaviours modelled on my late mother’s – a serial do-gooder. As a child I was encouraged to do good for others, in the name of religion and my gender and it became something I did for recognition, reward and acceptance. But it was a false ‘good’ because in doing good for others, I completely erased myself and considered that I was someone of little importance. This distortion continued well into mid-life and I’ve only recently re-claimed myself fully, learned I love and give to myself as equally as I give to others.
When I allow this rawness within myself I feel so vulnerable, but it is this vulnerability that I need to accept, embrace and share with the world.
“Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” How wonderful that you have come to understand that you are so much more Jill, and able to let go of the things that were keeping you from being all of who you are. It is quite alarming when we start to realise how much we do this in life, and that it is generally our accepted way of being.
Do good or be true to yourself? When the choice is made to be true to ourselves there really is no going back to a way of life that restricts and imprisons us..
‘Good’ and ‘Bad’, ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ are such strong ideals to firstly become aware of and secondly dissemble. Bringing our awareness to just how much we limit our selves through these ideals is enormous Jill and very needed, because it is evident with the way our world is at present with rising rates of illness, disease and war that these ideals have not and do not serve us in any way what so ever. Allowing our selves to open up to the world of ‘Truth’ and ‘Responsibility’ shines a whole new light on these ideals. When we are given the opportunity to re-build an inner respect not based on judgment and ‘right/wrong’ but rich in acceptance and appreciation of who we naturally are empowers us to dismantle many false expectations and behaviours that have kept us trapped in the ‘good/bad’ reactions and habits that erode our self respect and our relationships. We are not bad people and God does not judge us. However we are governed by attitudes that are not in alignment with God’s innate and unquestionable love, so consequently we are not expressing all our God given beauty. I am in constant appreciation of how the Universal Medicine workshops constantly bring us home to our truth and encourage us all the way to simply and lovingly be All of who we are, learning to see errors as choices and consequences as learning, opening our hearts once more to our ever expanding journey of re-discovering our immense glory that embraces truth and responsibility and extends way beyond the crippling beliefs of ‘good’ and ‘bad’.
I think it’s important to be very real and honest, for example to be able to say yeah you know what I do feel a sadness, and that’s okay, instead we often try to mask it with fine everything’s okay, this for me doesn’t give an opportunity to deal with and feel what’s going on – it’s almost saying it’s not okay to feel all this stuff and be as sensitive as we are.
All of this time on earth, we need well have been taught of true living in connection with ‘God’ rather than living the tenets of ‘Good’.
Good never got us anywhere and never will – In fact Good has taken us far from our true essence,
It is so great to get to a place in our lives where we just feel comfortable in our own skin and accept ourselves as we are. We need to look at how we are living that accepting ourselves is just not the norm.
It has been quite a journey from deciding that nothing more matters than truth and where it has got me to. That decision was crucial.
It’s excruciatingly crushing, isn’t it… the notions of being ‘good’ and ‘right’, needing to be ‘perfect’ – and based upon whose ideal we must ask…
These are beliefs we have been stigmatised by catholicism in particular, asking us to align to a notion of God that simply does not fit the God I know within my heart also Jill. What you have raised here is hugely significant for us all, for these notions still permeate our societies at such deep levels. Every step we take out of this stranglehold is to be celebrated, and deeply so – as we embrace again the love that we are, and the true love of God that would never hold us as such miserable creatures whatsoever. A brilliant expose.
What a powerful sharing… I am sure Jill, that most if not all can relate to the knowing within that alerts us to our own holding back, our hiding of who we are – and that, what we actually want is to be so ‘raw and uncut’, that is, to truly be ourselves. How truly beautiful, poignant and at once empowering, that you allow yourself to feel all of this, and open yourself up to simply being you.
Thank-you so much for writing this.
Raw and uncut, what a wonderful reminder of how doing and being good does not serve us, in fact it contracts and diminishes us. I love what you have expressed here Jill;
“I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.”
Yes Shirl Scott I enjoyed reading this part as well. When we allow the fragility and vulnerability to come through there is an ease in which the body can surrender and trust that all that is needed next to support us is right there at our very feet.
I am drawn back to this blog Jill because I can feel how from such a young age we are taught to abandon our true impulses and take up and on what others tell us is ‘really true’, what is right or wrong. It is important that we invite and allow children (and adults) to fully express what is felt because it is only in this process that truth is revealed. It does not need to wait for 60 years to be revealed!
‘I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.’ I love the way you have written this Jill, straight from your voice – I can feel the fresh air, the new life, the sun coming out from behind the clouds, and the amazing expansion in it! Thank you for sharing your experience with us all.
‘During my life I was always apologising, saying sorry for this or that; even if it wasn’t my fault so to speak, it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air’. I too have done this Jill. One of the greatest liberations that has come from the inspiration of the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom through Serge Benhayon has been the claiming of myself for who I really am – the beauty, the power, the fun,the love, the true intelligence, someone knowing their own worth along with a foundation of humbleness that is not apologetic but knows that we are but vessels for God . . . or not.
I too spent much of my life sold on the notion that being good and right was the way to be. Letting go of these ideas and beliefs frees us to be exactly as we are authentically real and honest, which is a beautiful way to be. Thank you Jill.
No apologies or excuses… just truth… and an expression of that in everything you do.
I also remember having this strong feeling of needing to be good when I was younger but soon realised even when I did what I thought would meet these expectations that in fact I felt much worse, actually losing touch with who I am.
It’s very fascinating to observe how many versions of something pure we can create to make it appear less than all its fullness and glory, one being God, ourselves and other people. It is becoming more and more apparent to me that we all are truly incredibly, beautiful, powerful and divine beings as truly reflected by God. Why do we feel the need to pull in something else to dull down the innate truth? Strange is human nature, the animal kingdom doesn’t do this – this is a living reflection of the divineness of the universe we have all around us – just in case we need reminding.
“During my life I was always apologising, saying sorry for this or that; even if it wasn’t my fault so to speak, it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air.” This is something that I see and feel a lot with people suffering with, it just shows us how we are brought up in separation to our innate divinity! I love that the path back is to go within and connect to what lies within.
Jill I can so relate to what you have shared. We self create our own perfect, then try and live up to it, which is impossible when the perfect we have set, was set not to be obtainable in the first place. A continual movement that guaranties failure.
We are so often sold the picture that ‘good’ and ‘right’ are to be championed and an ideal that we try to live up to but in truth when practised keep us far away from who we are. No amount of ‘good’ will ever take us closer to God. Only truth is the leading light on that path.
How gorgeous to read! Allowing myself to be raw and uncut… No, I can’t, of course I can. In the denial is a lot of panic I can feel and in the confirmation that I can is a trust, a knowing, a wisdom. Of course I can. Being honest and able to laugh about myself is a strength that I’m slowly building, re-introducing back into my life. Raw and uncut. Simple, seemingly too simple, yet enormous freeing. Thank you Jill.
There is a beauty when a person allows their vulnerability and rawness to show through…to let ourselves be seen as we are. There is a sweet openness that allows others to do the same.
Yes, it can be surprisingly difficult in the beginning but it is gorgeous with a bit of practice, especially if we receive loving feedback.
The game of good and nice is only able to be played if we look with our eyes only. Our feelings always tell us that there is much more going on.
Very true vicky, when we let ourselves feel when someone or ourselves are “being good and nice” it is clear that the actions are missing love in them and in my experience are empty and meaningless even though I would have often defended them as being full of meaning.
Being perfect is such a big thing to many many people. I know it is for me and your sharing really made me aware of those parts I don’t show to everyone, that I cut out in the editing process only because I want to be seen a certain way (unconsciously). So great to be aware of – I can just be myself.
We all appreciate having people in our lives that we feel we can just be ourselves with.. do we ever consider being ourselves with those who are not comfortable with it?
I love the clarity which you reached following your stay and discussion with your friend. “I want to be raw and uncut.” …. to hide no more, to choose to be seen just as we are, no apologies, knowing we are enough, and that we are perfectly okay …imagine if this relationship with life and others was taught and encouraged, what joy, vitality, openness and brotherhood we would have among people.
doing good, being good can be such an easy way to avoid being true and doing what is true.
This is beautiful, “I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok, in the knowing that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.”
Jill, this is absolutely gorgeous, so raw and uncut and such a precious and complete delivery of your truth, my truth, our truth. It has brought tears to my eyes from the beauty of what you have expressed and in reading this blog it was like I heard you speaking it out loud in your gorgeous voice. This is a blog I will read and re-read, and re-read again. Thank you Jill for sharing the gorgeous spark that you are!
I love how you are claiming this Jill “I want to be raw and uncut.” So often in my life I have edited out the bits that do not fit in with the image I am trying to present or what I believed others expected of me but of course they felt all of this and it has impacted hugely on the quality of relationships I have had for much of my life.
Jill, I too was motivated by the concept of benevolence. It seemed to me to be the most noble way to live, getting what I perceived to be ‘me’ out of the way, so that I could support others. However in getting myself out of the way, all that I actually took to others, was a collection of beliefs all contained within an exhausted body. Yes, in a rather mechanical way, I did help others but energetically I was not helping any way whatsoever, as I was presenting yet another person who was simply ‘not there’. It is only by being ‘there’ that we can truly offer another a reflection of the way out of this maze that we have constructed.
‘Good’ and ‘right’ are like the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood. ‘My Grandma what big teeth you have !
Jill with your honest sharing and deep understanding you allow the reader to really feel first the empty you in the beginning of your article and then the gloriously full and expanded you in the latter part of your life; that in itself is remarkable because the reader understands what you are sharing from the knowing of their body, rather than the thoughts in their head. It is from the knowing in our bodies that we support others to evolve.
I love what you’ve shared about being ‘uncut’, like an old film without any editing or special effects, as it’s so true that we spend a lot of time ‘perfecting’ our image and editing what we show of ourselves to the world in order to look a certain way that we feel will be accepted by society.
To me, uncut means totally transparent. There isn’t one single part of me that I am going to edit out of view, that I’m going to cut out and hide somewhere. In the old days when films were shot on film (rather than digital) editing was done on film stock so they’d be miles and miles of film all lying around in the edit suite. And they had ‘edit bins’, which were big canvas sacks into which all the discarded bits of the movie were thrown. Huge bags of images that the world would never see. Uncut to me means that those bags are empty. Everything is on view, for all.
I have had a similar experience where I sense a deep connection and level of intimacy with someone and then some thought pops in to tell me that this is awkward or not the norm socially, and I start to doubt it and tense up, which of course decreases the level of connection possible.
Jill when you share “I have come to know that I am not what I do” you bring something up for so many people across the world. The identification of who we are by what we do was perhaps one of my biggest downfalls, I lived my life based on a constant doing to get recognised whilst all along I simply could have allowed myself to be me.
“…to feel without judgement…” This is so crucial, otherwise I will immediately close the door on whatever I am feeling and retreat back in to the denial, numbing or distraction that I have been hiding in for so long. I am re-parenting myself, re-treating myself with tenderness, re-connecting with a fragility that I have denied for so long. All of which allows me “to feel without judgement.”
Jill, this feels lovely to read, ‘And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever’, I can feel my body let go and be at ease when I read this, how gorgeous to let go of all of the trying and thinking that I am not good enough, how beautiful to simply be.
It is interesting how much we try to hide parts of ourselves, particularly the bits we think we are ashamed of – and we think no-one else knows about them but, even though we may not share these bits with words, our bodies carry truth and everyone can feel all of us, including the secret part. This is the joy of understanding that life is all about energy and expression – we are expressing all the time and anyone who is sensitive enough can read all of us, so what’s the point of hiding anything? Why are we not fully open? The hiding does more harm to ourselves than the exposure of our truth.
I can relate to what you write Jill as I moulded myself into a person that fitted a certain picture and it was and still is a long journey to undo this and re-discover who I truly am underneath all this masks – beautiful, fragile and exquisite woman that I love spending time with.
Jill, I really love reading this article, I can relate to this, ‘I have come across people in my life that I have felt drawn to, simply because of their openness, their realness, showing the rawness in just being who they are, no apologies no excuses’ I have been very inspired by meeting people like this too, they offer a great reflection of being honest and true, this is something
I realised yesterday how often I don’t live me, in the sense of I live from what I think I should be doing, or what I should be saying, look like, the way i should behave, what I should be eating – living from my head, instead of feeling what I feel to so, say, eat etc. In this it creates a barrier, stops people getting to see the real me, and keeps me separate. How many of us, if we are really truthful do this though? It is an exhausting way to live, but also a precise game we play to stop us being connected and evolving.
“During my life I was always apologising, saying sorry for this or that; even if it wasn’t my fault so to speak, it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air.” Been there, done that, got the T-shirt! And what a horrible energy to manifest in the world, there is nothing more off putting that someone who is apologising for their existence and everyone else’s at the same time! What an awesome transformation Jill to be able to observe this within your self and really deal with it, not just cover it up but completely eradicate it in favour of allowing all of you to be seen, felt and heard in the world, no apology necessary.
Living and endeavouring to fulfill a belief is like wearing blinkers.
It’s interesting how we ‘re-interpret’ ourselves and what we innately feel to be true, as per your example Jill of your approach to the question of how best to serve God. So, rather than shine your light to offer a godly beacon for humanity, you dulled and hid in being the ‘good girl’… as so many of us did and continue to do. In this space we are like nuns, cloistered away.
I love raw and uncut, whether it be music, film or where a person is coming from. It doesn’t make sense when we love someone because they are raw, honest and come from a truthful way of living but we don’t live that way ourselves because we are too busy being good or nice or trying to get it right or something.
When we are born, we are clay figures that can be allowed to creative ourselves or be moulded by the world around us. There is a reason why militaries around the world and throughout time have trained young men to fight because the clay is still malleable. Religions have done the same thing. We have spent lifetimes being controlled by beliefs and castes created by others. There is a new revolution coming of people that are finding themselves and in-joying the freshness of being raw and real… I am glad to be one of the many to send out reflections to all that wish to see, hear and speak.
To live with fragility as a strength – not as a weakness – is indeed a great point we can all go back to!
The effect of living to be ‘good’ and to live up to such an ideal is such a great imposition on who we are. It draws focus away from our true essence to aspire to be something other than who we are. It is a tenet expose by established religion and goes part and parcel with shame, guilt and apology for not living up to what is false to begin with. Thank God for The Way of the Livingness – True Religion on earth that confirms that connection to who we are in essence and Living this in the world is the way onward for us all.
The true energetic definition of evil is anything that separates or keep us away from God / our Soul / our Essence – this is well described in Unimedpedia Evil: http://www.unimedliving.com/unimedpedia/word-index/unimedpedia-evil.html. Reading how you always felt that pull to serve and be with God, but how that got completely bastardised into the reinterpreted version of good, nice and right which have nothing to do with truth or love is a great example of the evil that is always there steering or nudging us away from our pure, true, imperfect, uncut selves.
Love the raw and uncut statement, especially describing living life without editing segments. Self acceptance is the greatest tool of ‘editing’, as with this process, the body can naturally ‘let go’ . Letting go of self-judgment, hiding or critical analysis allows for a greater relationship with oneself which then everyone can see.
I love your words Jill, ‘I want to be raw and uncut’ (and this implies ‘and I am willing to feel the raw and uncut world just as it is’). You say ‘The uncut part was interesting, it was like a movie going through the editing process where the story would be reviewed and little by little the undesirable parts or the parts that did not fit into what the movie wanted to convey, were cut out.’ You are exactly describing fakery of creation here, the world that we have faked and created on earth – the lies, the hypocrisy, the wanting to be seen as ‘good’ when in fact we are not living love. This is brilliant to expose.
Lyndy you are spot on – Jill’s use of words is so very powerful and the way she has delivered her message is certainly one that cleaves through any miasma of falseness, exposing every inch we attempt to hide from others, and this is done with such a beautiful holding of the beauty that we all are. There is so much of us that seeks to hide our imperfections, whereas God never hides this, He only ever focuses and celebrates the beauty and the glory that we are, and this is what Jill is reminding us of in such a powerful yet delicate way. Thank you Lyndy, and thank you Jill!
I love the way you say Henrietta that God only focuses on and celebrates our beauty and glory! That is so true. So why would we choose to focus on the imperfections? We can observe them, see them, and bring our love to bear upon them!
How many of us need to be ‘ourselves un-plugged’ – or ‘raw and and un-cut’ as you say Jill? I also feel we all live an inauthentic version of ourselves, in whatever way we do that and coming back to the truth of ourselves is an incredible healing.
It is a common (and not natural) trait to make ourselves wrong in situations. Its not about ‘being right’ but learning to hold ourselves in life and learn without this extra self defeating aspect.
Looking deeply into another’s eyes is a powerful experience. We are either able to reciprocate with the same openness and intimacy, or we want to look away, how we respond or react is one of those moments that can teach us heaps about ourselves. Love what you share about your learning Jill.
Raw and uncut, we need more of this in the world, everywhere. As you say, we are not perfect nor is life about perfection and the more we allow ourselves to share how we truly are and feel the more we can learn from each other.
If we present ourselves raw and uncut we are giving the real version of who we are, what are the reasons not to, well I would perceive them to be a fear of ridicule or judgement or possibly even of standing out and being magnificent – too much for some to bear. But if we step around those fears then we actually free ourselves from the confines of worrying about not being good enough and actually live our lives how we are meant to. Recently I was asked to consider what it is I really enjoy doing, the things I don’t do because of the mould of being a man I shape myself in, it is a really interesting process to look at life and things such as the way I dress or move and how they are not always reflecting myself in how they are done.
I have met many people in life that I have felt drawn to, and one of them was Serge Benhayon. He lives his life dedicated to humanity, and is totally transparent, he is someone who I would say is not ‘nice’ or ‘good’, but real, honest and true, and like God, doesn’t pander to our needs but reflects his love unconditionally and without favour to everyone equally.
What a place to arrive at Jill, to feel safety in your own body warts and all, no longer fearful of what others may think. It’s a great place to be.
Me too Jill; I used to feel apologetic for existing but I can not keep hiding any more. I work everyday to catch myself and stop my receding into the shadows (purely by habit), and I am coming “..out of the shadows into the light” as the song goes.
I remind myself that ‘I am not doing anything wrong, I am OK just as I am, imperfections in tact. I have tons of beauty and love to share’ and, more and more, I know it is true and it feels amazing to take my place in the world.
It is extremely ironic and exposing of religion not being true religion, when we are taught to sacrifice ourselves and hide our light, the light that makes us amazing, the very light that is one and the same as Gods light… I know now that that is exactly what we are here to share, not to crush; the face of God on Earth.
When I see the rawness and openness in another I love it yet it is not what i always choose for myself to share with another. Why hold back? Offering each other transparency is a great way forward for humanity.
I realise more and more that the only way we can hide from the world is to hide from ourselves.
Thank you, Jill. I can really relate to the essence being bound up with ideals and beliefs which prevent true expression of the preciousness that is intrinsically there, bursting to come out and be shared with the world. It creates so much tension in the body to live less than our glory.
Great observations. We often do not think there is more than one version of God we may be holding that, when truth considered, cannot be the same God! God cannot be love and hate!
Very interesting that you mention it was as if a shadow passed through you and you felt like you were going further back into hiding, I wonder how much of our lives we live in this state but have gotten so used to it we don’t question any more.
As ‘Raw’ as a baby’s bottom and as uncut as an umbilical cord, this in the first 2 trimesters is how new I feel after reading your amazing blog Jill. It is time for me to rid myself of the nappy rash and cut the umbilical cord so the true connection to my soul can be restored. Thanks to the presentations by Serge Benhayon, life has shifted for me away from beating myself up so I can start to claim myself as a Son of God as my Livingness.
Thank you Jill, for exposing the evil of ‘good’ and how it plays out. It feels like it sucks the vitality out of a person and asks them to fit into a box, a category of ‘good’ and has certain images around it as to what that looks like. In other words, being ‘good’ feels like a prison to me, as there is no space to express the imperfectness of who we are and reduces us to a behaviour.
‘Raw and uncut’ I love it Jill, Vulnerable and open,no mask …just as we are…. and appreciating all that we are.
Being good and right are such conciseness breakers aren’t they? We have all been brought up with the ideal of ‘being good,’ that to break this seems a bit of a conundrum and a tangle. Being true compared to being good is something I am learning.
Yes so trapped. because the good never asks us to question if we are being true or not.
The similar thoughts that I wasn’t ever good enough, no matter what I did used to rule me Jill. As you say, the fact that anyone who thinks God has to forgive them means we are always on the wrong foot. Hiding from ourselves seems such a strange thing that we can do, but we do it. This is inspiring for us all to find the raw uncut version of ourselves from deep within.
Thank you Jill. I have begun to realise that I hide a lot of myself from the world, in fact, I hide a lot of myself from myself. It sounds ridiculous because it is but I can see that I use food and rushing to dull my awareness constantly. Raw and uncut. This feels beautiful and very freeing.
I can feel how often I moderate so much of my life, including when I write on here as I resist showing the world the raw and uncut version of me. I can so often edit what I write (which can be a good thing with typos etc.,) but in doing so I also realise that I am edititing me out of it in order to present a different version of me which I feel the world wants to see.
‘Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.’ It feels almost impossible to imagine how life would be if I fully surrendered and let go of all that I clutch onto in life so tightly. It is this gripping on that keeps me in the belief that I need to be doing in order to hang on to what I have got. What would happen if I let go of all of this, if I let go of everything material and emotional in full. I have this sense that an enormous amount of space and freedoms would open up for me and those around me to step right into. So I know the truth, what holds me back from living it?
Oh Jill, this is beautiful sharing – thank you for expressing all you did here. And this feels so awesome -“And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” – Yes, and how much lighter life becomes when we step into this freedom right?
Jill how beautiful it is to get to know you, the real you and all you have shared about your life. When we are transparent and just let everyone see and know all of ourselves, it offers an opportunity to truly connect to and learn from one another. The true connection we experience when we are transparent and share all of ourselves is a healing in itself.
Thank you Jill for writing this blog, I can often put on a front and say everything’s okay, when it’s not – for example not allowing myself to feel a hurt, a sadness a situation or discussion with a person may bring up. And instead harden up, I feel a certain extent of it, but not let myself be super fragile and say you know what that hurt, it makes me sad and feel it. And allow others to feel me in this way.
It is amazing how much we deny our true selves in the name of ”good’.and how dishonest this is. Throughout my life I tried hard to be good, yet all this did was make me tired, grumpy and disconnected to my true self and everyone else, so no one really got to know who the real me was….including myself. I like you Jill would admire those that could be themselves and not worry what others thought, but felt that I couldn’t be like this. I now know that this comes down to how honest I am willing to be. Raw and uncut is a much more interesting and honest and joyful way to live.
Whose perfect are we trying to follow anyway?
Great question Otto. And I appreciate you putting out into this world something ‘relatable to’; media with realness in it, what a concept.
I feel we all so so sick of not finding ourselves in the sanitized mirrors of the world.
Any one can dig deep and choose to come out of hiding… but there is a lot of water under this bridge and role models, examples and permission to be raw and uncut, like Jill and your movies, are needed too and a great service to us all.
As a film-maker I related very strongly to what you are saying about cutting out the bits. Interestingly I often try to keep little moments like these in my films; that extra few seconds on an actor’s face, the slight bump in the camera movement, a fleeting glance from someone, focussing on the person listening rather than the person talking. There are all sorts of examples of this in some of the stuff that I have done and the reason I mention it is that one of the most common things that people say about the films that I make is that they feel very real, very true, very connectable-to. We are not perfect. There is no right and wrong. Thus a film that, even in the smallest way, can show this immediately has a stronger connection from the sanitised ‘perfect’ version that most films, and you, were presenting. Raw and uncut. Love it.
“And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” Indeed Jill, the freedom afforded by consistent self appreciation and understanding is a gargantuan gift; more so because it is realised through our own choices.
It is incredible how much emphasis we put on being ‘good’ over and above doing what feels true to ourselves. I spent much of my life doing the same thing, so that I would be accepted and approved of by others, but so much of the time it just felt false and that I wasn’t doing things because I really felt the impulse to, but was doing them for others. It really is an exhausting way to live, and no one gets to see you as you really are. What I realise now is how much everyone misses out, including ourselves, on the true beauty and glory of who we truly are!
A very honest blog Jill and so revealing! I have in the past not considered myself as worthy or important and therefore put others and their needs or wants before myself. How lovely now to know that I am worthy and deserve my place in the world, all thanks to Universal Medicine and the teachings of the Ancient Wisdom by Serge Benhayon and his wonderful example of a life truly lived in Love.
There is nothing more exposing than someone who looks at you being totally open and transparent. If we are hiding anything at all we will not want to accept this reflection.
I didn’t see a lot of raw and uncut around me growing up, so when I saw it I judged it and believed that it was a failure to show it. I avoided showing my true feelings at all costs and instead did the good and nice most my life to hide. It is completely exhausting keeping up a facade that is not who we are and pushing down everything that doesn’t fit the nice image. I’ve been inspired by those that do not hold back showing all they are to also open up and be real and honest with others.
‘This was my life, literally cut to pieces with all the parts that made me real and a part of this world, cut out, discarded unacknowledged. Why? Because they did not fit the picture of the ‘good’ and the ‘right,’’ Isn’t it gobsmacking, when we get down to the nitty gritty the number we really do on ourselves to fit in, be accepted and liked or to fit in to an image we have bought into. I can so relate to what you are sharing!
“it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air.” I can so relate to that Jill for years I apologised for everything and anything, if I felt pain of another I would take it on, it has taken a while to learn to observe and not absorb.
Why is it normal that almost no human being on earth is consistently joyful? Are we all following the false ideal of perfection in some way or another?
I can really feel the depth in the words ‘I didn’t want a me’ – and how, certainly in my experience, traditional christianity has supported the view that we ‘put others first’ and negate any sense of self. But without self-love I felt hollow and empty and actually very miserable. It was only when I chose to become ever more loving with myself that I knew I had something truly wholesome to offer the world – and that this very same choice is available to us all equally.
The freedom to just be who we are, without any need for trying is indeed a liberation.
Thank you Jill and what an immensely deceitful prison you have freed your self from. Bad is evidently bad, its far easier for us to see its pitfalls and avoid them and easy to spot whether others have become embroiled in its energy. However the ‘good and the right’ are far more subtle and like you say, sold to us as God’s work at the expense of who we truly are, a huge sticky fly paper that keeps us stuck on a picture of perfection that is unattainable and hence cripples our connection with our Divinity. Enter Universal Medicine and the importance of honesty, truth and connection, connection with the divine within us and within one another; an irrefutable knowing that our worth does not rely on what we do but is an integral quality within us waiting to be re-connected to, honoured and expressed, raw, uncut and refreshingly honest.
Thank you Jill for exposing how the good and nice is just an ideal and belief we latch onto and then run our lives by believing that we are doing life in the right way and that somehow we will get our reward – in this case the best that can be achieved is recognition, and that also feels empty and short lived.
After reading your blog Jill I have realised that when I try to be something the world has asked me to be, even if it is portrayed as good or competent or useful, rather than simply who I am , which includes an acceptance of where I am currently at in my life, then there is an anxiety or uneasiness in my body. Performing rather than being real is very exhausting.
I have certainly fallen for the good and nice at times in my life. Living this way takes up a lot of energy and is draining.
I find the analogy of editing a film for how we view ourselves in life very powerful and descriptive. It is a great way of ilustrating how we develop a dis-honest and judgmental picture of ourselves, of others and of life.
‘It was interesting to see the path I took as a young child of wanting to serve God. I grew up with the idea that self-sacrifice for the good of others was ‘good,’ with none of ‘me’. this is interesting in itself as the old institutional religions often instill the ideal of selflessness in those who attend their assemblies when in fact this keeps us from developing the self-loving relationship which leads us to knowing God from within us.
Allowing ‘yourself’ to be seen and felt by another also allows you to see and feel the other; there is a science here to be understood and applied, the science of truly meeting and seeing each other for who we are and obviously there is no need to wait for the other to do the first step, it is all up to us to initiate what we all long for – intimacy, being met, being who we are with one another – and it is done by giving ourselves the permission to be open, raw and uncut.
Real and raw without perfection just being ourselves, says it all.
“And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” Jill I only can agree as all the perfection is so exhausting and if I am honest also a bit boring.
As you say Jill, if we cut our life in pieces our true selves will never be revealed, not only not to ourselves but also not to all others we meet..
I always feel that I am quite an open person but when I look deeply into another’s eyes I often feel exposed as well, Jill, and I quickly look away not able to be with that level of exposure. This very simple connection says it all.
Thank you, Jill, for this beautiful blog and for your openness, which is deeply appreciated. I can so relate to everything that you have shared here. I too let myself be fooled by thinking that being good and nice made you a better person. This could not be further from the truth. All it does is make us self-loathe more because we all know at a deeper level within ourselves that it is not about being good or nice but about being true to ourselves.
This is beautiful Jill, the raw and uncut version is the one that is the true us, the one that is all feeling, all knowing.
No matter how much and what type of polish we layer upon ourselves – underneath we are all raw and uncut.
Love that Tamara 🙂 raw and uncut indeed – so precious!
The words raw and uncut remind me of stones, stones that are raw, uncut and shaped by the natural forces of nature always feel as beautiful as the polished and professionally cut stones, the most amazing actually is not the end result but the process of how stones can be shaped by nature and how this process can sometimes turn stones into polished diamonds. The power in the process is deeply beautiful. This reminds me of people too, with the honesty of being raw and accepting of the process of life, the beauty in that is immense.
Awesome Jill, I can relate to so much of what you have expressed here, especially the metaphor of cutting out the parts that are not ‘good’ or ‘right’. Much to ponder in this for me as I break down my defensive protection more and more. Thank you.
How wonderful it is to let go of all those good and righteous ideas about how we should be and how we should behave or go about life. There is underneath all that a simplicity, a raw and uncut version waiting to celebrate.
What stands out for me is the fact that the picture of ‘Good’ and ‘Right’ is not our own but one that is fed to us from outside of us and to add confusion this picture is graded and rewarded depending on the requirements set up by others – these requirements can be changed without warning and thus always making us believe we are less. Your expanding light is gorgeous Jill and can be felt through the unfolding of your honest and loving blog. Thank you.
Jill thank you so much for writing about this. I have spent my life trying to be perfect and not need a thing, separating myself off from people in the process. So it’s amazing to consider accepting myself and living honouring what is true without criticism.
I can so relate to this Karin, I have done the same, trying to not need anything, being tough on the outside, showing a strength when I felt the total opposite – none of that worked of course. These days it is so gorgeous to just be who I am, feeling much more connected to myself and to others without the need to be ‘approved’ , but being in acceptance and living what is to be expressed, al the while knowing there is so much more…
No need for perfection, just the acceptance of all that we are. This one took me most of my life and meeting Serge Benhayon to work through, and it can still pop up every now and then. And you are so right about how it frees you up inside when you can let it go, leaving you in your divine rawness and truth.
This is so beautifully shared. The richness of you Jill is truly Divine. Living who we are, from the light of our inner-heart, in connection to our Soul is far more powerful, real and purposeful, and in-truth beyond comparison to illusion of the ideals and pictures we think will identify who we are but really only keep us reduced, lessened, diminished and in separation from all that we are here to live.
It is interesting that when we apologise all the time we are in fact apologising for even being here. What a dis-service this is not only to ourselves but to everybody that we come into contact with. How much more could we offer another if we were always fully present, and never held back on expressing the truth.
Absolutely beautiful Jill Steiner. When we hide we become a separate part to the all and whole we belong to. To be seen in full we are a part of the whole, a support for others to see and feel they too are a part of the whole.
I love it when I meet people who are raw and uncut. I love the realness and often feel short changed when I get the mask or the polite version. Give me the real deal any day!
We divide our lives into parts, only allowing certain people to see what we feel safe to share, but if we were a lighthouse hiding any part of our light, ships would founder on the rocks. The sun does not hide its light, it is always there despite the clouds that get in the way. So is our light always there and we can choose to dull it or let it shine in full for the benefit of all humanity.
“And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.” There is no greater or truer freedom.
Love this line; “the God who touches my heart and holds me in absolute love” no need for perfection, just the acceptance of all that we are.
Yes an absolutely golden line.
‘“I want to be raw and uncut.” They were such powerful words for me, I wanted to hide no more, I wanted all of me seen just as I am, no apologies, this was me, I am enough, and I am ok.’ These words reflect your power and the relationship you now have chosen with God. Inspiring to read Jill and I can relate to so much of what you have shared. How we use the reinterpreted religion to hide although we know deep inside the truth of our being.
Jill thank you I love the feeling of your sharing raw and uncut. This resonates with me as well for I too am feeling more and more the solidness of being me, not needing to be good when visible or disappearing into the background. Your last sentence has the joy of allowing this truth to shine through and be lived in full.
Thank you Jill for explaining so well and simply what life is about and the mistruths we have been told but that are not real. And that there exist people who are real and uncut. Time to appreciate them and enfold that same knowing of truth and clarity in ourselves and express it – real , raw and uncut.
I can relate very much to what you’ve shared Jill, being willing to be seen in full, for all our faults and imperfections can feel vulnerable and exposing. It can also feel incredibly freeing to let go the need to be seen as perfect, and in doing so, letting people in and allowing an intimacy that is otherwise stultified. There is evolution in that for all involved, not to mention much deeper and supportive relationships.
Raw, uncut, real, seen. Loved.
The rights and wrongs keep us from knowing truth more then anything else, they are deeply ingrained and often unconscious and thus insidiously pose themselves as trust, but they are contributing more to separation and conflict than any obvious evil does. There is much for us to learn, expose and bring to awareness before we can consider ourselves to be free of these false ideals and beliefs.
I too have been inspired by those who come with warts and all. It’s refreshing, and such an invitation to also express who I am as I am without the rose tinted glasses.
Yes me too – warts and all, it’s real and in sharing we can all heal together.
I love the real and the honest too. And the healing together from there.
Brilliant blog Jill, thank you for sharing your return to God. It is so interesting the images we take on and how they affect our life and decisions, and they can often be very crippling. We lose sight and connection to who we are when we allow these images of who we should be rule us, this takes us further away from connecting to our essence. The same with our connection with God, there are so many versions of God out there, who he is and what he does. SO by stripping away these layers of images, allows us to feel for ourselves what is true and what is not. We innately already know who we are and who God is, all loving and all knowing of the divine wisdom that resides in every part of our body.
So beautifully expressed Chan. Thank you !!!
I remember those people who demanded I be good. Most of them used it as a crude way to control me ‘being good is doing what *I* tell you to do”, other people just felt wrong, as their ‘good’ did not feel true.
A beautiful blog. The last paragraph could be a song.
I agree Christoph 🙂
Isn’t it fascinating that our quest for what is supposedly ‘good’ and ‘righteous’ comes so often with the sacrifice of ourselves? Are we not included in our picture of the good of the world?
Yes we are left completely out of it. Just running ourself to the bone at the expense of others. But really it is exposed when we ask ‘what quality are the others truly getting when we are forgetting ourselves and running ourself ragged?’
Being good and nice can appear to be the ‘perfect picture’ from the outside. However when we go beyond the surface there can also be deep deception, manipulation and anger behind the front of being nice.
I totally agree Vicky. I find that deception and manipulation iced over with niceness is more harming and evil than someone being obviously abrupt for example. At least the abruptness is not a trick or secretly wanting something from you or playing games with you.
The perfect picture though is very far from the true picture and this is the big number one give away. As we all know when something feels true without any strings at all.
Being raw and uncut as you share here is beautiful and comes with an intimacy so familiar and known within us when we allow ourselves to feel it. I love your sharing and can relate to so much and the simplicity of knowing God and living with him is all it takes. Amazingly honest and real thank you for the reminder of what life is all about being in connection to who we are.
Thank you Jill, a beautiful sharing and one that I can very much relate to. Not that I was good in the way you were but in becoming aware of just how much I have edited and making the choice to be uncut. Those monkeys are not wise at all but totally irresponsible in holding back, checking out not seeing and expressing truth.
Jill – it’s awesome what you share here about coming across people who are honest and real and relatable – I too was drawn to these people as they reflected what I was shying away from. But when we claim this in ourselves – everything can change and we realise we are only different by our choices
What a lovely raw and open blog Jill. And one I can so relate to. I have been feeling lately the general background uneasiness in my body that is present whenever I try and go for being right or perfect and don’t allow myself to just be me and to be seen as me including my imperfections.
Just the concept of surrendering to my body and what it Is communicating to me, not having to do anything about it, brings tears of relief to my eyes. I have lived in reaction to the world and what l think I need to do about it. I feel like I have been fighting with myself to do what I think is right. It took 50 years of this before my body finally said stop, I have had enough.
Thank you Simple-Living Global and Universal Medicine for supporting me to get back to myself. Now I can truly give back and really make a difference in the world just by being me. Amazing!
Thank you Jill Steiner for sharing your experience of being “good”. I too have hidden behind this word in order to not stand out. I hid the laughter, joy and deeply loving approach I had with people that took many years of peeling away the religious ideas and guilt of not being perfect all the time. The work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine was paramount in helping me work through the layers of goodness that took a lot of time to heal and still at times appear for me to go deeper into appreciating what I have to offer the world and realising that it is nothing else but JUST ME!
I recognise that feeling of suddenly realising I am being intimate with someone, completely open and exposed and then pulling back thinking I have gone too far – feeling embarrassed even. For me I have felt that it originates in a belief that I do not deserve to have that level of intimacy and depth of relationship with another. This is of course absolute rubbish but until fairly recently it has run riot within my life. What this does in reality is constantly demanding of others to prove that they love me before I will open up and be love in return. It’s conditional and means that relationships are always having to start again instead of building on the foundation or marker that was reached the last time we met.
We have sold each other a lot of untruths about what love and life is. The interpretation of ‘ good’ I feel has to be one of the most insidious ones. What an amazing realisation that in this ideal we negate so much of what is really true and amazing about ourselves.
Ahh Jill I know this pattern so well. More and more I am realizing, besides the fact that we are all wonderful reflections in each other’s lives which means when I hide parts of me those around me miss out on what could be the invaluable to them, I also shoot myself in the foot. Because I can not build on what is true when I have not set a foundation with it, and I can not correct what is untrue when I have not allowed it to be out in the open and receive the correction needed. It is a lose lose all around.
“Since I have come to know that I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am in my inner heart, I am, piece by piece, able to cut the ties that have bound my beautiful precious being from living the realness of who I truly am.” This is beautiful Jill! What a turn around and how easily we all fall for the good and right in the belief that it is true, without picking up that it takes us away from ourselves.
I had a friend who deeply inspired me because she allowed herself to feel and express everything. I found this very inspiring, I want to come back to that and allow myself to show and feel more of my fragility too.
No more niceness and playing roles is what I read dear Jill. It exposed how I still try to fit into a picture. Keeping the illusion alive that one day I will fit the picture, I will be loved, liked, adored etc. It would be amazingly freeing and joyful to just be me, just be the man I am. With all his imperfections, but more so with the amazing love, tenderness, wisdom etc. I (be)hold. I am before I do. Whatever I do. I am. Who am I is something that I can feel needs more attention. Not giving it attention is a lack of appreciation. I can already feel how lovely and empowering it is to really feel who I am and what I bring. That I do matter, that I am important, hugely so.
“Whatsoever is good true and holy, think on these things.” One could think these really sounds ‘good’ and the ‘right’ thing to do in a world that is very much in need of change for the true good, but interesting how the words do not truly convey to live in such a way that what is of TRUE good and HOLY but rather mislead towards a way of thinking how to live what is considered to be good and hence producing an ideal one needs to live up to instead of igniting to in full one´s own divine light to shine and inspire.
Yes I agree Alex the word ‘HOLY’ has come to mean right and good which means a judgement when my feeling is perhaps it’s original meaning might be closer to ‘WHOLY’ meaning bringing all of us to life in every moment, and when we are living who we really are, there is no trying. we can make mistakes but never actually be wrong.
Yes, well put Andrew, it is about becoming ‘wholy’ and thus live and express from that which is truly holy for all of us to become whole once again.
And PS Jill, about the ‘raw and uncut’, no ‘cooking the books’ to prevent a false figures and results, no pleasing everyone with the smooth and the slick, no numbing of the edges so that you can no longer feel, but a courageous open-ness that allows the volume of God’s true love to pour through you.
‘Looking back now, from where I am today. I just shake my head at how empty and in denial I was to have taken this on and all in the name of God. But what God?’ – A great expose Jill, at how lost we can get in the dogmas and belief systems of the many world religions – when true religion simply encourages and supports you to re-connect to your true self, your soul. A place where there is no requirement of being ‘good’ or ‘right’.
I love this blog Jill – raw and uncut, no editing, no choosing what fits the controlled picture, no cooking into a mash, just all of you, all of the radiant beautiful you which is so bright that any imperfections just fall away for the nothingness that they are.
Good allows us to hide behind the illusion that we are serving humanity. It’s great to read your story and remind myself of this fact.
There is a great release from the effort of needing to be in the pretence of being something or someone else in a way that is not true. Exposing all of you is gorgeous Jill, the evil of good and right stops us blossoming from who we truly are and what we truly feel. You going for it inspires others to do the same.
It’s like if what we present is so ‘good’ and we place ‘good’ as the best place to be then why so many edits, cuts and omissions? That is something I have always felt refreshing about Serge Benhayon in that nothing is rehearsed or edited. It is what it is and that rawness and openness is far more healing and inspiring than trying to tailor myself into having to be a certain way. Often what I perceive to be good comes with a complicated and constantly changing manner (and definition of that good) to achieve said good.
Being open and accepting of all of us helps to bring a lightness to any issues we may have I find – rather than locking into the thinking we have to be perfect which can magnify the issue rather than help resolve it.
Intimacy with others. It can’t be there until we have intimacy with ourselves. This is a wonderful part of the relationship with myself that I am exploring and enjoying. Thank you for sharing so honestly Jill.
I also love the ‘raw and uncut’ words which came to you after your night’s sleep here. I have also been aware recently of the ‘processing’ that I attempt to put life through before deciding how I will be with it. The feeling of just being who we are with life as it is without having to try to change either feels amazing – no apologies.
The title of your blog is great Jill. It is definitely freeing to live in away where we don’t edit bits of ourselves out or calibrate our behaviour to what we think will be most acceptable. We have these ideas of what we imagine will please others, whilst rarely considering what will feel best for ourselves.
Raw and uncut, now this is the way to be. Love it. So very refreshing for how most of us go through life trying to appear more and more polished and less and less real. Quite amazing to turn that around and live life with real reality.
No perfection required because we are already enough – the need to do good, to be good is instilled in us from a very early age as we desperately try to find what we think is love in approval from others, not realising that we are already love and all we need to do is connect deep inside and it’s there.
It’s a big moment when we realise that we are enough and that we don’t have to do or be anything other than ourselves. Being hooked into the ideals and beliefs of being good, right, polite, nice plus many others, only serves to keep our true selves hidden.
How beautiful Jill, to live a raw and uncut life. This feels like being true to who we really are.
When we allow ourselves to be seen for who we are ‘raw and uncut’ it feels so natural and easy, the moment I put on my shield of protection and hide, I noticed a closing in and a hardening that is exhausting.
Isn’t this what we all crave? An intimacy that allows us to be totally ourselves? There are many times when I have found myself in similar situations and drawn away or held back. It is also for fear of what others may think. Embracing intimacy requires us to be totally open and transparent. We can embrace it and open up, or shrink away.
I really enjoyed reading this Jill, I can relate as for me knowing I was just born to express Divinity, to live with the breath of God in and through me and yet to have switched off, denied myself from this has proven rather painful. Yet exposing this and the ways in which I did deny my true and raw self has been a process of great humbleness and appreciation. The more I allow myself to be seen ‘raw and uncut’ the more I realise that this is the most loving way to live, it doesn’t come with the pain or protectiveness that holding back does and thus is a more simple way to be. The appreciation is then really lived and felt for oneself and all others too.
I love what you have shared Jill. I was reflecting back on my earlier life and rather than being “good” I reacted a lot to what I was seeing around me and sought a life of seeking recognition through the things that I did such as travel, study particular courses, the music I listened to etc. But similar in the sense of avoiding my own connection with myself in an attempt to fit in, in my own way – which is what we are all doing. Its beautiful though what we realise about ourselves when we do connect.
Raw and uncut can only contain all that we are! The truth will always stand on a solid foundation that is unshakable that is always just a choice away.
There is nothing more turning on and not in a sexual way, than someone being real. This is very rare in this world. No falseness, no trying to be nice,, no ticking boxes or saying or doing what we think we should do, for me it all feels false and doesn’t inspire, it creates separation and the idea of someone being better or less than another, whereas when someone is absolutely real and honest this is an absolute joy to feel, my whole body expands, gets goosebumps and the joy I feel is immense, there is an equalness. It inspires me to be me.
This is beautiful Jill. The truth of this is felt in full in my body.
“Not the true God that I have come to now know, the God who touches my heart and holds me in absolute love, but a false God – one who judges and condemns, with no love or compassion for the fragility of my being”.
This theme of apologising for everything, even breathing was well known to me prior to hearing Serge Benhayon presenting a workshop in 2008. The beliefs and ideals we carry imprison us deeply, making anxiousness and separation appear a ‘normal’ way of being. Only the reflection of one who is living true and naturally (Serge) brings the key for us to unlock this self-made prison and to reclaim breathing our own breath once more. The Gentle Breath Meditation provides this bridge to heal this separation. http://www.unimedliving.com/meditation/free
“During my life I was always apologising, saying sorry for this or that; even if it wasn’t my fault so to speak, it was like I was apologising for even being here on earth and breathing air”.
“I can now allow myself to feel that whatever comes up for me, that it is ok.” it is who we are that is important- our beingness and the quality in which we do things, rather than how much we achieve. To feel we are enough is an amazing place to get to and to then deepen in our quality and love.
I can relate to the wanting to be good and seen as being perfect and not wanting to get it wrong Jill. I feel it is something that many of us carry that stems back to the religious beliefs we have taken on and carried around with us even though in this life we may have had very little to do with religion. It has taken me quite along time to shake off the need to be good but it is worth the journey because being raw and uncut version of me is more open and real.
Thank you, Jill, for sharing how you have come to accept yourself as you are, giving yourself permission to be ‘raw and uncut’ and relinquishing the need to live up to anything. I can feel the release in my body when I too let go of the ‘shoulds’, as it puts me back in touch with a true connection with myself and our ever-loving God.
I love the honesty in your blog Jill, there is much to relate to from my own personal experience – it is healing to read your words as I continue to explore living in a ‘raw and uncut’ way.
Jill, this is a great article. I can so relate to what you have written in this article about being ‘good’ and ‘right’ and I can feel how limiting this is, that it is not then about living the true us because it’s about never upsetting anyone, saying yes to what people want and putting others before ourselves. I love the living ‘raw and uncut’, accepting ourselves for who we are and where we are at and not expecting ourselves to be perfect – this feels true and real and honest.
If we are able to connect to our true selves all is taken care of and being raw and uncut is a sure fire way of exposing what is not true. I’ve also done the nice and the good thing and it never really gets you anywhere and people see it as a chance to walk all over you and that never feels good or nice.
The boundaries that we set up around us – are quite ridiculous. For me it was a game I played: I set up boundaries, a frame of rights and wrongs that I modeled myself into and then spent my free time to undo these boundaries to feel better, just to find myself with a new set of rights and wrongs, an eternal loop? Only until meeting Serge Benhayon. He cut right through this illusion and offered a free choice to step out of this loop.
I can relate to your description of ‘uncut’ and what that meant for you as it represented a shift from editing out parts of your life that didn’t fit the script you had in your head. There can be no true intimacy when we hold back aspects of ourselves from others. I recently found myself revealing the uncut version of my life with a friend. I shared things about myself held back and hidden for years without feeling any shame or regret on choices made earlier in my life. My openness led to more intimacy in our relationship and gave me a great feeling of release.
‘And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever’. I feel I need this constant reminder that I don’t need to be perfect in my expression as I can still beat myself up when I feel I have made a mistake ….. and I do need to be more playful to help remove any residue of seriousness that still hangs around me.
Hi Jill. I feel the beauty and the loveliness of you emanating through the energy of your words in your blog. I could feel the joy of you when you spoke of the discarding of old ideals and belief patterns. How inspirational are you in your expression. Gorgeous.
Many women who carry a lack of self-worth and self-love, myself included are always apologising for everything, even for breathing and taking up space. From the baby steps of self-care I have learned to love myself and appreciate myself in the knowing that I am enough just as I am.
Jill this sharing brought a shadow of how I too was living before I met Serge Benhayon and listened to presentations with Universal Medicine. I deeply appreciate the choice I have “to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before. And oh, what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.”
Thanks Jill, I love that at 60 you can have a realisation that is one of grandness that is Raw and Uncut. I certainly have tip toed around – doing ‘right’ and ‘good’ all the while playing in the shadows of who I truly am – (at 14 I wanted to be a priest). I accept me as a work in progress but one that I love greater connection can occur with all of us at any stage of this life. Raw and Uncut – I still protect myself from that, but can now open my connection with God.
Good is such a trap since it sets us on the road to perfection and of course we are not perfect, so when we do blip we can beat ourselves up and so we push back towards good. And in all this there is little raw and uncut, just a fitting into some ideal of what we should be, and a denying of who we are.
Accepting and appreciating the essence I am, has been the best home coming. Discarding all the false images has released me to enjoy the natural expression that is simply who I am. The transparency allows others to see the light within, which is in us all equally, raw and uncut so we get to the truth of who we are.
I do not want to be good, good has not gotten me anywhere in terms of evolution. Good may buy me to a certain extent, comfort; but this comfort has to be dealt with like everything else, and the stress that comes then is totally uncomfortable.
In the past I have reacted immensely towards the word “sorry”, as the energy that I have used this word in is one which I am apologetic for being here. Now I do not have this reaction anymore, as when I say “sorry” it is humbling and a deep respect expressed towards someone because I deeply respect myself and every part of me wants to be here.
Learning to live a “me”, just as I am, is a process. I began to question what is truly supportive for me, and allowing myself the space to just express that. I am learning to say “no” to all that does not support me and that I am not a lesser person when I say that, in fact, quite the contrary. Thank you Jill for the support.
I love your sharing Jill, thank you, and particularly, this statement stood out… “I am not what I do, that life is not about the good and the right but about a connection to who I truly am…”
I can recognise that feeling of unworthiness even to be here on this planet, that I need to do ‘good’ to be accepted as there is something fundamentally wrong with me – with this, I created a dead-end for myself not to be who/what I was, while desperately trying to find a way out to be free. I now realise that we do know exactly who we are, therefore know exactly what to do in order not to be who we are, and it is a choice as it has always been about how much we are willing to surrender to that truth of who we truly are.
Raw and uncut are powerful words and instantly they speak of the pure essence that you are and how open, loving and expansive this is. We all know what is true and no matter what is happening in life there is always the pull to re-connect to the pureness we know our hearts to be. This is a beautiful blog, with your honesty inviting each of us to check-in and challenge the aspects of our lives where we allow ‘good’ and ‘right’ to undermine what is true.
The picture of perfection only serves us to remain in a life of pictures and therefore not committed to bringing the truth of who we are to each moment of life.
So beautiful Jill, We put so many false ideals and beliefs against God, mostly because we judge ourselves. I love what you share because it is clear that the patterns and choices we make in life, how we feel when talking in conversations and moving with ourselves can come from self love or self emptiness.
‘what freedom to just be, with no perfection needed whatsoever.’, absolutely, Jill, something to truly celebrate, the liberation of beauty-full you. You already have everything that you need in this life, the exquisite essence of you.
Thank you, Jill for your expose in sharing how destructive and divisive it is to hold ourselves to pictures of ‘how we should be’, particularly in ‘the name of God’, as though it is then sanctioned as being true.
Dear Jill,
A beautiful blog, you share the key ingredient needed in today’s world, for until we acknowledge the truth of every part of our lives and own all we have lived, it is easy to ignore and condemn ourselves, instead of stopping and choosing to truly change our behaviors, and enjoy living how deep down we really want to live.
If we have one aim as an individual and as humanity, it should be about living unbound by any ideals or imposed restrictions of who we are, and in that it means enjoying the things we truly love to do, be that how we dress, the way we move, dance, express our feelings, anything and everything, none of this should be curtailed by the idea that as a man or a woman, a boy or a girl we have to fit anyone else’s standpoint. When we live as we want to naturally live, then there is surely nothing more beautiful to behold.
That moment when speaking with your friend was a choice to go deeper within yourself and be more transparent, or to run back to what you’ve known and to hide. And by choosing to go deeper, it’s allowed you to see all that you’ve shared – thank you.
Your blog Jill exposes the evil of doing ‘good’, which is a blight on the majority of humanity, as we are misled since young to believe that we will be accepted, recognised and OK in ourselves if we follow the doing good path in whatever guise this may be — institutionalised religion, charity work etc. The evil is that it takes us on such an illusionary path where we think we’re closer to who we are as a result of our ‘good deeds’ when all along we are being eaten up from the inside while our true foundation and connection to our inner essence is eroding more and more each day.
Thank you Jill for sharing your story of wanting to be ‘raw and uncut’. How exposing it is to see the truth of what we have been told about our relationship with God and his judgmental view of us. What a straightjacket this has put so many people into, either to be good or to feel bad about not being good! If God is love, then there can be no judgment, only his deep holding, love and acceptance of us. And since God is within, then this is what we have to offer ourselves. A beautiful sharing from your heart, Jill, thank you.
I can feel the beauty in our letting ourselves be seen in full, but know all too well that there is a lot to let go. This doesn’t have to be a big chore, as it is all a choice we make, we can let go of old ways.
I like this part about having a picture for what is good, and having remorse when not able to fulfil that image. What is interesting is how we all must have our own and different pictures of good that we each are trying to live up to. So there can be no One Whole Truth that holds us all equally. And so perhaps this is one of the deepest forms of divisive separative behaviours that we have – to strive for good.
It is really important what you have shared Jill about being uncut. I feel we all tend to cut out or reject the parts of ourselves that we find undesirable or don’t fit the picture of who we think we should be. For instance the man who rejects the sweetness and gentleness he knew himself to be as a boy but sees this as a weakness or something wrong with him. Without all of our pieces, we feel incomplete and are constantly at war with our nature. It brings absolute ease and joy to allow yourself to be whole again and accept who you are is perfect for what the world needs.
They are profound moments when the soul steps in so clearly and re-aligns us back to our natural way of being. They are felt so strongly in the body, and leave a calling card that we can refer back to anytime, to be inspired to not only connect to our truth but take steps each day to make it our everyday way of being.
After reading your blog Jill, I was reflecting on the times through my life where I have also ‘taken on’ very unnatural idealistic ways of being, because I thought this was the way to truth. Having released myself from these false ideals, I now live with a love and joy that is very natural, and confirming of the truth.
The imprisonment of ideals and beliefs keeps us locked up in our own bodies. And those around religion and God give us so many false ways of thinking about ourselves and about life. So beautiful Jill, to read how your relationship with God unfolded back into a true one that allows you to just be you.
Thank you for your deeply honest revelations Jill
‘Raw and uncut’, I love that.Thank you for your honesty. Jill, your writing and experience exposes the untruth or evil (separation) of ideals and beliefs we adopt from institutionalised religion. It keeps us less than, when in truth we are equal in the light of God.
A beautiful unfolding of that which is true intimacy and vulnerability shared here Jill. Thank you for showing us that vulnerability is allowing ourselves to be completely at one with all through our honesty and fragility without perfection.
It is interesting that you speak about the body Jill as it is in our bodies that we hold everything. Every time that we want to protect ourselves from anything or anyone and we shut-down or withdraw it’s our bodies that we do it with, hence illness and disease starts to occur. When we keep doing this in reaction to every incident, over time of course this will wear on the body and is also the reason why mental health conditions exist – it’s not all in the mind as we are told. Being open, raw, sensitive and uncut is our true nature and to not live this hurts us a lot. My experience is that most people crave wanting to live this way, but many of us can’t get past our hurts to live as we truly are. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine show us all that it is possible to heal those hurts and live in a Raw and Uncut way.
We are here to hold in reverence the Kingdom of God that is found deep within us all and not to worship the image of a ‘God’ we are fed that influences us to perform in a certain way that is counter to the love we are. Jill, I know you to be a light that burns so bright, no apology is needed for the reflection you offer. I can understand how you ended up playing the game of ‘good’ and ‘right’ but I must say that ‘raw and uncut’ suits you so much more. More please x
Being raw and uncut is about being honest and transparent… we all think we can hide but we all also know how much we feel and see going on for people all of the time – it may not be spoken about but we definitely clock it, and in this way nothing is ever hidden! How confirming would it be of us all if we were transparent all of the time, and honestly shared how we feel and what is going on for us – in this way we confirm ourselves, and confirm what another is feeling, which is truly honouring of everyone… and the world we live in would be a very different place if this was how we chose to be with each other.
“that I now have a choice in that moment to feel without judgment the fragility and vulnerability, the rawness in my body, with an honesty that I had not allowed myself to feel before.” This is a loving work in progress for me. Sometimes I choose to feel without all that you say and other times I choose to differently and choose a food or emotion to bury what is coming up. One choice frees me whilst another makes me heavier. I too am working towards allowing myself to feel the fragility and vulnerability, more and more,
We can run ourselves ragged with all the effort required in trying to be perfect – trying to live up to an image we have created, something that isn’t true so we will never meet that ‘perfection’ anyway. And in this, it is all about what we ‘do’ rather than the quality we bring, how we choose to ‘be’ in the world and in what we do.
Hear hear. As Serge Benhayon has said before, we are human beings not human doings.
I know whenever I hide myself away it is because I am afraid to get hurt but until we learn to trust once more and allow a certain level of vulnerability we will continue to be cut off from ourselves and others.
When you were talking about your relationship with ‘God” not your current one but your past one, I had a line come into to me that I wanted to share with you. “Wow, that was an unhealthy relationship, destructive and self condemning.” I had never thought of our relationship with God as just like any other, its not that God was treating you badly but more that you were using God to treat yourself poorly. When you realised that ‘good’ and ‘right’ weren’t it, everything changed for you, just beautiful.
Hello Jill and I can very much relate. Growing up it was about being ‘good’ and doing the right thing all the time. As I grew it was striving to be perfect and I remember after nearly every conversation, everyday at work, every dinner, night out or interaction I would critique myself and then practice would I should have said. I don’t think I ever got through one conversation without not liking something I said. So there was always a pressure for perfection. It was a huge pressure and at times even though it didn’t make sense or wouldn’t work it was like the only answer I had. Growing up this was hidden in what I learnt about God and that if I did certain things or acted in a certain way then everything was going to be ok. At no stage was I told to just be myself, on the contrary I was told the opposite. Enter Universal Medicine and my life turn upside down and not that this was done by anyone it was just that the way I was being was completely opposite to how I was. I had a memory in me that knew everything I was choosing wasn’t it and that the only way to God was through my relationship with myself. I had tried to attain a relationship with God through good and right and it had failed time and time again. God is within and Universal Medicine simply dusted me off and turned me around to return to what I already knew.
Jill, I too chose to live trying to be and do good, right from my early school years as I thought myself not intelligent, but knew I could do those things and be really good at it which I was. It wasn’t until I was older that I delved into intelligence and what I thought it would give me. Allowing ourselves the space to be totally honest with how we feel and what is going on for us, is a gift indeed. Thank-you for sharing this Jill.
Oh my goodness! This is a great read as I felt the unraveling of the straight-jacket you were held in earlier in your life Jill and yaaay, a celebration of the freedom of you being you in the last line of your blog. Its obvious we are never too old.
You mentioned the intimacy you shared with your friend in the hallway, I can tell how beautifull this moment must have been for you both as how you write and what you have shared is being intimate with every single person that reads this. It’s very lovely to feel maybe you should change raw and uncut to divinely open✨
That is beautiful Jill. When we know who we are, we know it is not about what we do as inside we are already everything. The next step is living the wisdom of this knowing and the absolute joy that this brings.
Casting out the shadows and allowing ourselves to feel whatever comes up for us is a very grand step on the path of returning to who we truly are. The rawness and openness you talk about is what I would call being transparent, and from someone who has for many years buried themselves behind a layer of protection, being transparent can be a challenge but a choice so worth taking as it is the only way to return to a true way of being and living with a level of intimacy with ourselves and others.
Your beautifully honest words Jill: “I want to be raw and uncut.” touched a place deep within me and brought up a great sadness along with a few tears. This really surprised me and I had to stop for a moment and ask why. I haven’t got the answer yet but I know that I will, so thank you for sharing this, and offering me, and I am sure many others, the opportunity to heal something that is ready to be uncovered and to be healed
When I see a film, I love those that feel like everyday life, when I hear a song I adore hearing it unrehearsed and live with no sound effects. When I see a photo I am touched by the ones that come straight out of the box with no touching up or computer editing applied. What your words are reflecting to me here Jill, is I appreciate and deeply enjoy the quirks and unusual parts to you and I, these things that we often think of as weak or wrong are actually the key part of our song. So long may we all share with each other, all day long with no apologies for who we are.
Wow. This. is. awesome. So beautifully said, Joseph.
Being open and real is such a key element to having a true relationship with another. We all know this to be true but how often do we let ourselves be open to another with such vulnerability and fragility? We may think that the way to heal our woes is through combating the dramas and issues in life, but I would say that one of the most important elements in all of this is how open we are to expressing such vulnerability and fragility with ourselves and with others.