The drive to work is a time to be with me, to reflect, to ponder the day ahead, and to feel. It is just 20 minutes and 9 miles long but traverses country lanes, passes green fields and purple heathland, through a tiny village with just a few houses, a church and a school, and then vast gated estates of grand mansions, whose staff are just arriving for work. Further down the road there is a golf course to one side and stables to the other. Then, about a mile from the office there is a major acute care hospital, with comings and goings of a variety of vehicles of different colours, shapes and sizes – and where, inevitably, there can be a build-up of traffic.
Like me, others are on their daily commute and there can be a sense of ‘driven-ness’ in the air. Some seem to need to get where they are going as quickly as possible and yet, when there is a surrender to the inevitable process of queuing, there can even be a feeling of harmony as drivers allow someone into or out of a junction – a flow which suddenly feels very different to the preceding rush. There are occasional waves and nods of gratitude as one acknowledges the other for facilitating this flow, allowing them to get on with their journey.
One day, this momentary harmony was disturbed as a driver pulled out of the junction without any regard for others, overtaking a line of traffic, pushing in at the roundabout a few metres ahead and leaving a trail of frustration – if not anger – in his wake. Whilst we may encounter selfish and thoughtless drivers many times in our day, for some reason this occasion felt particularly offensive. Silly, maybe, to allow myself to be bothered by something so trivial, but the truth is, it did upset me – and the feeling stayed with me.
Perhaps it is obvious to state that experiencing the apparent disregard of another is unpleasant. It surely is so, but my usual attempts to accept the situation – to rationalise things and to simply let it go – did not work. There was something deeper to be seen here and something more profound to be understood.
Pondering this seemingly trivial incident and what felt like my disproportionate reaction to it, led me to a deeper understanding of what happens in such moments. The event itself was just one of many that could have offered this awareness. In fact any situation where one person behaves without regard for others, speaks ill of them, or treats them without respect would do just as well.
What was within me to be felt and appreciated was that such acts are a betrayal of the deep sense of connectedness we all know in our hearts. In this essential unity, we all know the equalness that we come from, where no one is any greater than any other, and that there is a very deep and true connection between us all – without exception. This event was not just someone behaving selfishly and ignoring the common courtesies that most of us choose to live by, it was a denial of something truly sacrosanct – the unified Oneness we all come from.
This may seem rather extreme when we deal with such events every day – but are we simply ignoring or denying that depth of feeling we all have for each other? When I came to this realisation it all made sense. This was not an over-reaction on my part at all. I was registering the deep ‘offence’ towards this innateness within me and within all of us.
As if this were not revelation enough for one apparently minor incident, I soon became aware of something even deeper. It would be easy to accept the awareness I had already seen – the realisation that we are deeply connected to each other – and leave it at that.
But there was something more significant to acknowledge, something far less comfortable than pointing out the apparent failings of another.
I had to see that I was not living from this place of true connection with others either.
I was happy to point out that the actions of others dishonour this unity we all share, but less happy to see that I too am part of that picture. I had to come to accept that the hurt I was feeling was not just about the actions of another, but also about my own self-serving behaviours.
The deeper truth is that the situation offered me a reflection of my own disconnection from that place of unity within – the source of my true hurt.
Is it possible that in our understandable desire to avoid feeling hurt, we are missing something of enormous value? None of us like to feel hurt and it seems to make perfect sense to protect ourselves from it. But what if our hurts are in truth revealing something even more important – something not to protect ourselves from, but something that we should seek to understand?
There is an assumption that the source of our hurts must be avoided – as if they are to be feared – but what if hurt is in fact showing us that the reason we are feeling this pain is because we are living in denial of our true nature, that essential unity and connection with each other? Our hurt might just be pointing out something innate and deeply joy-full within us and something that we can choose to reconnect with.
Recently, as I have come to embrace this connection with others more fully, there have been a couple of those familiar instances where I have met another for the first time and there is a strong sense of ‘knowing them’. Complete strangers look at me and they ‘swear’ they know me from somewhere. “Did you ever work at…?” or “Have you ever been to….?” they ask. I don’t feel a need to answer because I know exactly what they are truly feeling and saying… “I know you on a deeper level, in that place where we are all connected. Yes, I know you… really I do.”
Such happenings are another confirmation to me of the very same essence. When another acts in the absolute betrayal of our innate connection, it touches a hurt on a deep and almost unfathomable level. When we recognise an apparent stranger in this way, it is there again – not so hurtful this time – but a feeling that we are deeply known to each other.
Serge Benhayon has been sharing and presenting the wisdom of this ‘unified Oneness’ for many years now. As I open myself up ever more to what Serge so consistently offers, I find myself feeling this ever deepening connection with myself, with others and with something greater that unifies us all. Even in a queue of traffic.
By Richard Mills, Another Forever Student