Revelations from a Journey to Work

The drive to work is a time to be with me, to reflect, to ponder the day ahead, and to feel. It is just 20 minutes and 9 miles long but traverses country lanes, passes green fields and purple heathland, through a tiny village with just a few houses, a church and a school, and then vast gated estates of grand mansions, whose staff are just arriving for work. Further down the road there is a golf course to one side and stables to the other. Then, about a mile from the office there is a major acute care hospital, with comings and goings of a variety of vehicles of different colours, shapes and sizes – and where, inevitably, there can be a build-up of traffic.

Like me, others are on their daily commute and there can be a sense of ‘driven-ness’ in the air. Some seem to need to get where they are going as quickly as possible and yet, when there is a surrender to the inevitable process of queuing, there can even be a feeling of harmony as drivers allow someone into or out of a junction – a flow which suddenly feels very different to the preceding rush. There are occasional waves and nods of gratitude as one acknowledges the other for facilitating this flow, allowing them to get on with their journey.

One day, this momentary harmony was disturbed as a driver pulled out of the junction without any regard for others, overtaking a line of traffic, pushing in at the roundabout a few metres ahead and leaving a trail of frustration – if not anger – in his wake. Whilst we may encounter selfish and thoughtless drivers many times in our day, for some reason this occasion felt particularly offensive. Silly, maybe, to allow myself to be bothered by something so trivial, but the truth is, it did upset me – and the feeling stayed with me.

Perhaps it is obvious to state that experiencing the apparent disregard of another is unpleasant. It surely is so, but my usual attempts to accept the situation – to rationalise things and to simply let it go – did not work. There was something deeper to be seen here and something more profound to be understood.

Pondering this seemingly trivial incident and what felt like my disproportionate reaction to it, led me to a deeper understanding of what happens in such moments. The event itself was just one of many that could have offered this awareness. In fact any situation where one person behaves without regard for others, speaks ill of them, or treats them without respect would do just as well.

What was within me to be felt and appreciated was that such acts are a betrayal of the deep sense of connectedness we all know in our hearts. In this essential unity, we all know the equalness that we come from, where no one is any greater than any other, and that there is a very deep and true connection between us all – without exception. This event was not just someone behaving selfishly and ignoring the common courtesies that most of us choose to live by, it was a denial of something truly sacrosanct – the unified Oneness we all come from.

This may seem rather extreme when we deal with such events every day – but are we simply ignoring or denying that depth of feeling we all have for each other? When I came to this realisation it all made sense. This was not an over-reaction on my part at all. I was registering the deep ‘offence’ towards this innateness within me and within all of us.

As if this were not revelation enough for one apparently minor incident, I soon became aware of something even deeper. It would be easy to accept the awareness I had already seen – the realisation that we are deeply connected to each other – and leave it at that.

But there was something more significant to acknowledge, something far less comfortable than pointing out the apparent failings of another.

I had to see that I was not living from this place of true connection with others either.

I was happy to point out that the actions of others dishonour this unity we all share, but less happy to see that I too am part of that picture. I had to come to accept that the hurt I was feeling was not just about the actions of another, but also about my own self-serving behaviours.

The deeper truth is that the situation offered me a reflection of my own disconnection from that place of unity within – the source of my true hurt.

Is it possible that in our understandable desire to avoid feeling hurt, we are missing something of enormous value? None of us like to feel hurt and it seems to make perfect sense to protect ourselves from it. But what if our hurts are in truth revealing something even more important – something not to protect ourselves from, but something that we should seek to understand?

There is an assumption that the source of our hurts must be avoided – as if they are to be feared – but what if hurt is in fact showing us that the reason we are feeling this pain is because we are living in denial of our true nature, that essential unity and connection with each other? Our hurt might just be pointing out something innate and deeply joy-full within us and something that we can choose to reconnect with.

Recently, as I have come to embrace this connection with others more fully, there have been a couple of those familiar instances where I have met another for the first time and there is a strong sense of ‘knowing them’. Complete strangers look at me and they ‘swear’ they know me from somewhere. “Did you ever work at…?” or “Have you ever been to….?” they ask. I don’t feel a need to answer because I know exactly what they are truly feeling and saying… “I know you on a deeper level, in that place where we are all connected. Yes, I know you… really I do.”

Such happenings are another confirmation to me of the very same essence. When another acts in the absolute betrayal of our innate connection, it touches a hurt on a deep and almost unfathomable level. When we recognise an apparent stranger in this way, it is there again – not so hurtful this time – but a feeling that we are deeply known to each other.

Serge Benhayon has been sharing and presenting the wisdom of this ‘unified Oneness’ for many years now. As I open myself up ever more to what Serge so consistently offers, I find myself feeling this ever deepening connection with myself, with others and with something greater that unifies us all. Even in a queue of traffic.

By Richard Mills, Another Forever Student

Related Reading:
Separateness or Connection
How a Smart Phone Brought Me Back to Connection — a Story on Selfies
Crying out for connection: technology and us

1,029 thoughts on “Revelations from a Journey to Work

  1. How you use your drive to work time has a huge impact on how it leaves you feeling. It can be used to feel the day ahead, have quiet time with yourself and enjoy feeling your body as you drive. Or it can be a time of stress, running over all the to-do lists of the day and be quite draining if you are in the dread of the day ahead.

  2. Having no expectations of return….and truly not feeling any hurt or rejection…. is always a great one to practice. I found some more tendrils the other day – and it was beautiful to expose.

    1. Expectations on others and ourselves is a poison that leaves us crippled in our expression when the body is speaking loudly to what we know – no room for expectation but the celebration of how exceptional we are!

  3. “But what if our hurts are in truth revealing something even more important – something not to protect ourselves from, but something that we should seek to understand?”

    This turns everything on its head Richard, our current understanding of healing, psychology, counselling, and ice-cream sales would go down for sure, if we were to embrace and learn from our hurts.

    1. It is very interesting and revealing to notice a reaction – and rather than doing something to change how we feel – to go deeper into our reaction and see what is really there. When I do this I always find that there is another level of truth to be rediscovered – something I would not have seen had I used my habitual ways of dealing with reactions like distracting myself in some way.

  4. Richard your writing is beautiful, please keep contributing blogs. Richard it’s true that it is easy to point out the way others are hurtful, but the true hurt may be the many times we ourselves have not been living from the love and truth we know innately, for the purpose of brotherhood and evolution. And, I like the way you have used hurts as a signpost for there being a deeper quality or expression of soul to bring forward and live from again.

  5. I love coming back to your blog Richard, it is such a beautiful and gentle reflection; a lesson for us all. I also really appreciate your honesty in going to the deeper truth;
    “The deeper truth is that the situation offered me a reflection of my own disconnection from that place of unity within – the source of my true hurt”.

  6. Richard I loved this part you wrote ‘The deeper truth is that the situation offered me a reflection of my own disconnection from that place of unity within – the source of my true hurt.’ It was a great reminder for me how we see others’ behaviour as a blatant disrespect for others, and yet each time there is a message there for us to look at our own disregard and separation of others too.

    1. There is understanding in this awareness – and with understanding there is more openness and love for others and hence less reason to be judgmental.

  7. I am learning to see that whenever I have a temptation to try to fix myself, there is an opportunity presenting itself. I find that trying to fix is adding something to the issue when what is really required is to deepen ever more into who I truly am.

  8. I love the honesty that you share here Richard, where you share the more uncomfortable or confronting part about realising that what really irked you was realising the consequences of what happens when you disconnect or disregard others… And not that there’s any self-bashing or judgement needed but just a reflection and appreciation of the difference we all make to one another by the way that we live.

    1. I had a realisation this week that I was wearing what I described to myself as a ‘cloak of dismissiveness’ – and this was, understandably, affecting my relationships especially at work. The change having become aware of it is remarkable. The energetic foundation of these relationships has shifted, I am more open as are ‘they’ – and new connections are being built. It was humbling to have to admit and much pride had to be swallowed – but it is worth every moment.

  9. I love how whenever we are hurt it always reveals to us that we do know love…for if we didn’t we wouldn’t be bothered by people not being loving.

  10. Richard I love the gentleness in the flow of how you write. I am slowly starting to realise the true power of reflections. What I am working with at the moment is, what is at play when I suddenly find myself judging another and what I am discovering is, that I am being asked to reflect on where, how and the reasons why I judge myself in order to bring awareness, understanding and healing to my own lack of self worth issues..

    1. And I love the fact that it is so natural for you to be working with your awareness Elizabeth. It is such a rewarding way to be – and has transformed my life for sure.

  11. It is quite natural to register behaviours that is not loving as we all know what love is. It does feel awful that we can lack decency and respect for each other and we all feel this.

    1. It’s true Victoria. We do register it all. Even if it sounds or looks okay we know exactly how we are being treated or are treating others.

  12. I love exploring the one life teaching – the fact that everything affects everything – it brings a great value and purpose to tasks that I would previously have considered mundane. With a sense that the quality with which I hang up the laundry, for example, will impact the way I speak to the next person I see, being present, responsible and in awe of life makes total sense.

  13. It changes the whole game of life to realise that our hurts are there for us to bring understanding to something either about ourselves, others or the world around us so we can let them go and subsequently grow from the experience.

  14. What I like from this blog is that shows that we can have the most deep realisations whenever, wherever and whoever we are with. It’s just our opening and honesty to see our part in every situation, what makes it possible.

  15. I love driving to and from work, I find it very supportive and preparatory for my day. It is a great opportunity to check in with myself and reflect on how I am feeling, and I take this awareness to the rest of my day.

  16. ‘Our hurt might just be pointing out something innate and deeply joy-full within us and something that we can choose to reconnect with.’ Beautiful Richard, when put like this who would not want to let go of their hurts and choose to see the deeper truth that is underneath our reactions.

  17. I love what you have shared here Richard and it offers us all an opportunity to reflect and connect to how we react in certain situations and to then look deeper and be more aware of why we have certain behaviours and or beliefs in life. Every moment we are connected and aware we have a greater opportunity to deepen our understanding of our relationship with self and then our relationship with the all. Very cool thank you.

  18. Great blog Richard, “I had to see that I was not living from this place of true connection with others either.” I particularly loved your statement here, that as you were feeling the frustration with the driver, and understood why, but you still continued to look and feel deeper, which was your place in the picture also.

    1. There is in my experience a temptation to settle for the first ‘reading’ of a situation…but if we continue to pay attention, there is often a deeper ‘revelation’ to be seen too. Perhaps there are other levels too, as we continue to evolve our awareness. The key I find is to stay open.

  19. Loved to reread your blog again Richard. We can get agitated about what is a happening to us, but could it be that we have a part in this as well? It always is that way, and then we react or we can see this moment that offers us the possibility to evolve.

  20. This is great Richard. Just when you think you’ve understood we’re all connected, and that we’re all part of this bigger picture, something happens that triggers a hurt and instantly we go to blame the other person or situation, and forget our part. This has happened to me recently and I’m being forced to go back to the bigger picture and remember that I have a role to play here and that it is my responsibility to surrender to that.

    1. When this happens I find it is really good to appreciate that we haven’t gone back to square one but that we have evolved along the way. Eventually I trust we will overcome the root of our hurts completely and know that we can be free of them forever.

  21. When we live in protection of our hurts we are actually defending the very thing that keeps us disconnected from the innateness of our being and it is a being that is naturally joy-full. We need to ask ourselves some serious questions about this – or alternatively, just stop doing it!

  22. We cannot take lightly what we feel are deep offenses to our innateness and hence of something we know is totally true. It does not mean to react but to allow ourselves how much it truly hurts our hearts.

    1. And it is great to feel when we, ourselves, act in a very disconnected way to feel how much that hurts us. We don t even need someone from outside, it does hurt, when we don´t move in accordance to the love that we all innately are.

  23. “But what if our hurts are in truth revealing something even more important – something not to protect ourselves from, but something that we should seek to understand?” This is a great point Richard. When we observe and have understanding – with ourselves as well as others – everything can become a reflection for our evolution.

  24. I like what you are offering here. Driving yesterday 6 hours on the motorway in review I have to say, that I did not act in a oneness all the time…I like to put more awareness on the fact when I am driving selfish now, because I know the situations very well, when I feel frustrated, when someone drives in a separative way. Changing my own ways of driving will help me to not react in these situations.

    1. Changing our movements helps us to not react.. I know that when I feel frustrated and want to numb myself, it’s because I’ve lost the connection to what and how I can feel – I might have pushed it and am feeling tired, groggy or irritated. I can either choose to stay in that, by getting annoyed that I feel like that, or move differently, knowing that those feelings aren’t who I am and I have a choice to perpetuate feelings or lovingly let them go.

  25. These moments in time, when we are offered such a clear reflection of where we are in our lives, are so very precious and potentially life-changing. Unfortunately, at times we are in such a hurry and we miss the reflection, or in other cases the reflection is simply way too uncomfortable to acknowledge so we choose to ignore the lesson on offer; it is always our choice as to what comes next.

  26. It’s interesting how in a a particular area there is a general ‘flow’ or vibe that is governing the area, and in another the traffic is different, the people interact differently – it’s very telling about the fact that there is consciousness before physicality, always.

  27. I often feel that hurt in exclusivity with others, but in fact it’s that I feel my own ways of being exclusive, that I keep people out and so it’s deeply exposing when I feel others do this too. How dare they do what I do, and show me up! Yes all of this comes from a deep knowing that we are indeed all from the same source and that we all deep down know that, and in fact I can now see those hurts as a pointer to say you can live more the truth you know here.

  28. The other day a lady pulled out in front of me and I had to break hard, I was annoyed with her and beeped my horn, I felt justified to let her know that what she did was dangerous. After my initial reaction I could feel that it was not necessary and my beeping the horn felt like a further separation.The more I drove behind the lady the more I was able to bring an understanding to the situation and it no longer played out as it can so often do, if I remain with the right or wrong of the actions of another.

  29. It is inspiring that you did not just stop after reading why it offended you so much but that you then went to feel, even though it was uncomfortable for you, how you have lived a similar thing to what you did not like. To me, when we do this .. be truly honest and willing to look at ourselves and how we are living that is when true healing begins.

    1. I agree Vicky. We have to be humble and really honest with ourselves to facilitate true healing. It isn’t always easy but eventually I feel we can make friends with being humbled in the awareness that it offers us a new and more transparent place of self-awareness to live from.

  30. “a flow which suddenly feels very different to the preceding rush” When we are aware of an inconsiderate and disruptive movement it is because we know the true flow of love.

  31. When driving to Somerset today there was this huge vista of spaciousness around the most gorgeous rolling hills spread before me with sunlight dappling their surfaces with light and shade. I suddenly felt the space before me as if it was in my body and there was no separation between the two. Absolutely beautiful to feel this unfettered spaciousness within.

    1. When we allow ourselves to feel and sense what is around us, our interconnectedness with everything becomes apparent. Beautifully said Stephanie.

  32. Our smallest movements have an impact on others, we are all deeply sensitive and when we don’t honour this, it hurts. There is much to be learnt from honouring our sensitivity and learning to express what we feel.

  33. Very insightful Richard, thank you for sharing. Reading this has hit a nerve with regards to my own judgments on how others should behave as adults within the classroom setting, as an adult learner, and what occurred to me was the total lack of acceptance I have had towards people being what I judge as rude and inconsiderate to others.

  34. This is very beautiful what you are sharing here Richard. It shows the deep connection to truth that we have and how very much we actually care.

  35. A great article Richard, so much for us to become aware of in another’s actions and our own reactions to what we are witnessing, at our deepest level we are all one, and this is why we so deeply feel.

  36. Richard, I agree that these seemingly small and regular everyday events that we call life are pointing to the huge disharmony we have allowed ourselves to accept. And then taking it deeper to ask ourselves how are we living. Your blog provides a lot to ponder on.

  37. I love the way you describe how people think they know you from somewhere. I get that all the time and like how you have explained it as us recognizing we are one.

  38. True we can get offended by others and not be willing to see we disturb the potential of harmony around us and with us. Looking at our own responsibility allows us to really change things rather than blaming others.

      1. Absolutely agree- taking responsibility in a way not including any other person whilst we talk about an incident is a true evolution booster. It is not easy, I can tell, but the only way to free ourselves from “right and wrong” ” because of you” and having excuses to not be in our power.

  39. I love the description of your drive to work – you can feel how much you appreciate it and enjoy that space with yourself. My commute to work is a minute’s walk out my back gate. Even though it is short, I can either check out, act as if I’m already at my desk dealing with what needs to happen there, think about what I’m cooking for dinner or a conversation I had yesterday, plan ahead for the day and arrive at work not really knowing how my feet got there other than one in front of the other. Or I can appreciate my garden along the way, feel how I place my feet, listen to the birds, enjoy whatever the weather is doing… be super present and aware of what is going on within and around me and arrive at work full.

  40. Developing a deeper connection with one’s own body supports us to feel and understand what we’re reacting to and why. If we’re totally numb to what we’re feeling, the reactions go on anyway, unnoticed and undealt with. Learning to be okay with whatever we’re reacting to, to see it in full, to see the pictures we’re holding onto of how we want things to be, starts to slowly melt away the reactions: there are no reactions when we’ve let go of all the pictures and understand life as one continuous movement of deepening awareness and unfoldment, everything in its own time and space.

  41. I find that when I am prepared for my journey i.e make sure I have packed my bag, leave enough time to get to my destination without rush, fill up my drink bottle etc, I feel at ease and enjoy driving in my car and allowing the flow of my rhythm guide me to my destination. If I am in a rush my rhythm goes out the window and I feel really tense in the car too. Taking a moment to return to my breathing and the flow of my own breath helps me stay on track and enjoy my journey too.

  42. This is a great insight to have. “I was happy to point out that the actions of others dishonour this unity we all share, but less happy to see that I too am part of that picture. “Imagine if we took responsibility for all our reactions in life and the understanding and awareness this would naturally bring.

  43. How ingrained is the behaviour in many of us, when we react instantly and look out for the outside to be possibly being responsible for having the reaction.The stories we create to have the justification to react are hilarious. What if every moment is a heavenly moment to be used to either grow or for denying the wisdom that is actually being represented in the reaction/ moment. Even and maybe especially these moments, where it is harder to cope with lies. So much to look at- because it shows something in you that still needs healing. Imagine everyone would live with that level of responsibility?!

  44. I often have moments of looking at people and feeling I know them on a much deeper level. I also seem to be able to talk to a shop keeper like they are my close friend or family. When someone steps out of this naturally oneness, in the way you describe above, it is obvious in a way, isn’t it? What I find tricky or odd is when someone appearss to be doing all the right things but is actually choosing to check out. At least with the careless driver, everyone was able to see what they are choosing but with the box ticker, it is much more insidious, for to the untrained eye they are not doing anything.

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