Making Space

Recently I was moving house and the first thing I needed to do was get rid of stuff I didn’t use anymore – no startling revelations here! I had accumulated a lot of things that I ‘paid good money for’ that I was reluctant to get rid of because I knew how much they cost me and I wasn’t going to get back anything like what I paid for them, so they just cluttered up my living space. As this was a process, it was difficult to be aware of how this gradual encroachment was affecting me, however it became clear soon enough.

The first item I decided I could safely sell and not feel that I was throwing money away was a set of mag wheels I had bought for my previous car. They had been sitting in my hallway, brand new, still in boxes for about 18 months, never went on the car, never got used. I placed a free ad and got a call later that day. The next day I delivered them to the lucky guy and the deal was done.

I came home and stood in front of this distinctive space that had been filled with the 4 boxes for so long and what I could feel was actually more space within my body.

This feeling was a revelation. What was this space in me, which had been apparently filled up with those shiny mag wheels?

I started to realise that, like all of the other unnecessary possessions I owned, I had used them in the past to ‘fill’ myself up so that I didn’t have to feel the emptiness inside – that emptiness that comes from not being all of who I truly am. This feeling of emptiness is a tension, angst and an ongoing anxiousness that is masked with keeping busy or, as in my case, filling that emptiness with stuff. The new feeling of more space in my body is warm; I feel expanded, centred, not needing to do or be anything other than just breathe and be me.

So here was an opportunity to live more of who I am, looking after myself with all the care that I innately know how to do. All of the little decisions around food, what time I go to bed, how early I get up in the morning, how I drive, how I interact with others, how I allow myself to be seen, how I express, how accepting I am of other people, in fact, my every movement. This awareness of being more of who I truly am is a work in progress, as I let go of expectations of perfection.

Part of this is the understanding that it is my resistance to living responsibly that has delayed the action of allowing all of who I am to be a part of all that I do.

What also became clear was that I now had a new relationship with letting go of my unnecessary possessions. With the understanding of the space created within, how much I got for these unwanted items became an irrelevant detail; the feeling inside my body was more valuable to me than any amount of extra dollars I imagined I would get in some perfect selling scenario.

I have since thrown away, donated to charity and sold a lot of stuff that no longer was of any use to me – some absolute bargains there! It would be great to say that this process is finished, but some things are taking a little longer to let go of and I get the feeling that, as I evolve, there will be things that I use now, or feel I need now, that will become something to let go of at some point in the future. Therefore, letting go of unwanted physical possessions or old, unnecessary ways of being will be a process that continues for a little while yet.

There is no doubt, that to become more of who we truly are is a process of what we let go of, not what we add, as has been explained by Serge Benhayon on numerous occasions. I will always appreciate what has been reawakened within me from Serge’s presentations.

By Mark Payne

Related Reading:
Clearing Out Clutter – The Room at the Back of the House
Bringing Sunshine inside my Basement by De-cluttering

1,315 thoughts on “Making Space

  1. Part of this is the understanding that it is my resistance to living responsibly that has delayed the action of allowing all of who I am to be a part of all that I do. Not choosing to be more responsible in our lives, does not inspire us to commit to true quality in what we do, as the focus is generally on getting a job done and not about the quality we do the thing in. This takes a dedicated commitment to truly being with ourselves in all that we do as best as we can, and you reflect that commitment very beautifully here Mark.

  2. I love clearing through things in my home, even if it’s just a drawer or smallish area at a time. The renewed order and space makes a difference to how I feel and the clarity that I have too.

  3. Our inner and outer world are a reflection of each other. When we make space in our outer world, we feel this in our inner world. As does when we make space in our inner world we naturally want to make space in our outer world.

  4. I love coming back to this blog as I love clearing out regularly, and simplifying my life – it is refreshing to not need to have too many belongings around me – and spacious.

  5. Re-reading your blog makes me aware of the importance and delicate relationship between the inner and the outer. That it’s not about ‘healing’ the inside (making it more Spacious by adding Love), but that applying the Spaciousness in Life is also important. So being and doing have a profound relationship with each other. Which for me is hugely important as for a long time I thought that life was only about the ‘being’. Or at times, only about the outer. More and more I’m realising and accepting that life is about both. A delicate dance between the two. More Spaciousness as a result.

  6. There are often many patterns of behaviour that we hold onto even when we have realised that they don’t serve us. They are held in the body as a fall back and we can easily resort to them instead of clocking- they never worked- we can let go of them.

  7. “What also became clear was that I now had a new relationship with letting go of my unnecessary possessions.” – and not only possessions but I feel sure this will have an impact of how you are able to ‘let things go’ in life generally – patterns of behaviour, habits, etc that are holding you back on being more of who you are. The letting go of possessions and the ease with which we can do this feels symbolic of how we let go to our ways of being that do not serve us.

  8. I cannot stand clutter or mess because it affects how I feel and how I am, and the way I describe it is that it is like a noise to me that jars, not dissimilar to fingers being scrapped down a blackboard! At home, I notice it more intricately because I don’t live in a mess, and when there is a pile of papers or something else that clutters or messes up the space, it is like a distraction every time I walk past it.

  9. “I started to realise that, like all of the other unnecessary possessions I owned, I had used them in the past to ‘fill’ myself up so that I didn’t have to feel the emptiness inside – that emptiness that comes from not being all of who I truly am.” What an amazing reflection Mark, and one that all too often we avoid. We love to fill our home with possessions, and although of course we do need some things in our homes, but all too often we have many things that are simply a way of filling up space, and actually take much more of our time to clean around and organise. A simple clean space in your home reflects a simple clean space in your body. There is much to learn from this, thank you.

  10. When ever things are changing, in other words my movements and way of living changes, I feel the need to clear out cupboards or move things in the house, my house is a reflection of what I live and giving it an update is creating space in and outside.

  11. “that to become more of who we truly are is a process of what we let go of, not what we add”, I love this, it is so contrary to what we think life is about. We learn that we have to become somebody, we work so we can afford things, our whole life is geared towards gaining/possessing more and yet this is just a filling of the space that we do not claim as our own – that we are already complete but simply do not live in full.

  12. Perfect day to read this – just cleared out a room in the house and the space and warm sense it has given all of our family is clearly felt. Letting go of ‘stuff’ allows us to know we are always enough and only need what we need. Great blog, thanks Mark.

  13. “I will always appreciate what has been reawakened within me from Serge’s presentations.” I also feel this deep appreciation for Serge Benhayon’s presentations Mark.

  14. Love the feeling of spaciousness that you describe Mark. When this is chosen to be a familiar quality, life indeed becomes very clear and very simple.

  15. how true that we mask what is giving us tension with lots of things to do, to avoid stopping and feeling! The thing is though, whenever we do stop there is always a feeling of appreciation, because we see how clearing out something has benefited us. Why do we seek constant motion then?

  16. Our home is our sanctuary – to expand on this saying for me is our home can support us so much to go about our daily lives. We all kinda know that but how often do we check in and see what is in our home and is it supporting us? Usually that process is around moving house or a spring clean….but we can actually bring that into our lives at any time and create this space for ourselves and set ourselves up in a loving supportive home.

  17. Its amazing the little attachments we can have to these items even though we do not truly need them any more. It feels like we hold onto them because it is us holding onto the past, an energy or way of being we have not truly cleared and are ready to move on from.

  18. Awesome to hear of you making that step into living a more spacious life Mark. That really is highlighting that you are prepared to be more responsible and live in a way that is simpler and offers greater space to enable greater awareness within your life. It’s a great example and as you say there is always room to go further and deeper with that, so it feels a bit like we are unpicking ourselves from the ideology of collecting “stuff” as an expression of wealth…

  19. Mark, this is very interesting, ‘that to become more of who we truly are is a process of what we let go of, not what we add’, this shows the simplicity of being who we truly are, that it is already all within us and that there is no need to go searching for who we are outside of ourselves – very beautiful.

  20. “I had accumulated a lot of things that I ‘paid good money for’ that I was reluctant to get rid of because I knew how much they cost me and I wasn’t going to get back anything like what I paid for them, so they just cluttered up my living space.” Ahhh I know that one so well. And when it is coupled with a ‘what if I might need it again’ the shutters seem to come down and everything stagnates. It is interesting that usually I would happily be prepared to pay much more than the said amount to get extra space in my home, or pay for sessions so I can have that extra inner openness which getting rid of the clutter would offer me. Shows those hurdles are well worth facing and healing.

  21. Letting go of stuff, or ideals, or attachments is very cathartic, and I find as I grow there is much in my life I no longer need. When I let it go, there is more space for that which is now needed.

  22. Beautiful words, Mark – “There is no doubt, that to become more of who we truly are is a process of what we let go of, not what we add”. The idea of surrendering and becoming more of who we truly are is still something that I have to keep coming back to as a focus, as I have spent so much of my life trying to be something I am not, striving, struggling and achieving. Life is becoming so much simpler and less exhausting now…

  23. You have made a great connection with the body and making space Mark, something I am only beginning to truly appreciate. If our homes reflect our bodies, then it is a constant work in progress. Leaking taps and doors that do not close properly now call for more attention than ever before!

  24. I’ve definitely had the same feeling – how refreshing it is to let something go that I have been holding on to for weeks, months, or years… just in case. Love the extra piece you have added here in showing how in some way the unattended item has been cluttering up the feeling of space within us.

  25. How many people have hallways in themselves that are stacked high with boxes of unwanted or needed ideals and beliefs? We all have moments from the past that we hang onto, most have the horrible string of emotion tied to them. Most of these past moments are there just to cloud our view of what is real. When we have a real spring cleaning on ourselves and the baggage, we have dragged around for years the light within us returns.

  26. ‘This feeling of emptiness is a tension, angst and an ongoing anxiousness that is masked with keeping busy.’ And what do we oh so often want to do at these times – we want to eat, or any other form of distraction we can find to take us away from what is true – when all is needed is to re-connect to who we are.

  27. “There is no doubt, that to become more of who we truly are is a process of what we let go of”, this is so true when we let go things we no longer need we create space for new.

  28. “What also became clear was that I now had a new relationship with letting go of my unnecessary possessions. With the understanding of the space created within, how much I got for these unwanted items became an irrelevant detail; the feeling inside my body was more valuable to me than any amount of extra dollars I imagined I would get in some perfect selling scenario.” It is interesting that as soon as we put a monetary value onto something, how constricting this feels in the body especially if we stubbornly hold onto expecting a certain price. Connecting things to space and the spaciousness in our body brings a totally different concept and understanding to our possessions and their true value. Freeing up space to be more of who we are, is a great reminder when we get caught up in holding onto something that no longer serves us.

  29. ‘So here was an opportunity to live more of who I am, looking after myself with all the care that I innately know how to do.’
    We all know innately what our body needs and we communicate nonstop with our body. It is just our ignorance and the overriding of the true impulses of our body which hinder that we connect to it in full. Otherwise most of us would be vital, vibrant and healthy.

  30. Moving or clearing out a space provides such a good opportunity to clear out anything that we have been holding onto that is not needed at present. How much do we hold onto for the ‘just in case’ all of which take up precious space and creating clutter. Our homes can support us on a deeper level when this extra support is offered when we revaluate what is needed in the now and simply honour when we are holding onto things for the ‘just in case’ that are not actually needed.

  31. As you brought it in this blog Mark makes it is actually so simple. When we consider why we need to gather stuff around us and question ourselves if it serves and supports us in our everyday living or do we need it to fill up an emptiness that we feel inside because we are not full and sufficient on our own. I know I had the tendency to buy something for myself almost any week, it felt as a building a tension that was relieved at the moment I bought what I thought I needed so much, but as always, at the end I could do easily without as it did not serve me at all, but as you say, only filled up my house and physical space, and did not give me the fulfillment I was looking for. Therefore to me it is important to let go of these ‘possessions’ as they are withholding me from moving on.

  32. During certain times of the year, i feel the urge to get rid of things, do a tidy up, clean through and sort out, especially with clothes and food cupboards. It feels so clear and sharp afterwards and although I may not always know precisely what it is I am discarding, or what’s coming next into the new space, I do have a sense of its newness … which always feels amazing and confirming for where I’m at in life, ready for the next step. Hanging on slows us down, letting go advances.

  33. “There is no doubt, that to become more of who we truly are is a process of what we let go of, not what we add” – love this Mark, as we have it as the reverse with material things, items, acquisitions, when it’s actually about discarding stuff that has been spiced with ideals we think ‘make us’, in order to feel that sense of freeness and spaciousness you speak of and share.

  34. You have enacted something very wise by not basing a decision on what dollar value you will lose but rather the value and clarity you would gain. Great practical blog/sharing.

  35. Just looking at the title word in this blog ‘space’ brings a sense of responsibility for what and how we are inhabiting our surrounds with and how that might possibly effect all of us. What if the space around us just appeared to be separate but in reality it was more like a swimming pool that we are all in, we might be more conscious about our stuff if we were basically sharing a space with our neighbours.

  36. ‘the feeling inside my body was more valuable to me than any amount of extra dollars I imagined I would get in some perfect selling scenario.’
    This is gold Mark. What price can we possibly put on spaciousness?

    1. I love this comment Kylie and yes, I have been holding onto things to sell, instead of just letting them go! I related to this following quote too as it sums up where I currently find myself as I sort through my rooms!
      ‘Also It would be great to say that this process is finished but some things are taking a little longer to let go of and I get the feeling that, as I evolve, there will be things that I use now, or feel I need now, that will become something to let go of at some point in the future’ – all a work in progress for me but I know it feels great when I look back at a clear room and the feeling that I get from how it is without the energy of all the old stuff.

    2. Kylie thanks for repeating that invaluable line ‘the feeling inside my body was more valuable to me than any amount of extra dollars I imagined I would get in some perfect selling scenario’, it caused me to consider how last night I did not value the space within my body when I over ate. What I lost in space (and I don’t mean an empty stomach) was not compensated for one iota by the extra time I spent tasting the food in my mouth.

  37. I can stand in front of a great expanse of space, with all the sea and the sky in front of me, and still feel crowded and troubled in my mind. Space, therefore, is clearly not something we can attain from the world around us, it is perhaps more a state of being, or a perspective.

  38. “What also became clear was that I now had a new relationship with letting go of my unnecessary possessions. With the understanding of the space created within, how much I got for these unwanted items became an irrelevant detail; the feeling inside my body was more valuable to me than any amount of extra dollars I imagined I would get in some perfect selling scenario.” This is really inspiring as I have two bags of things I feel I should sell for reasons mentioned at the beginning of your blog but the more you connected with the value created in your body by being free of unwanted possessions became more important than the price you sold them for, love it, can feel a big clearing out coming on.

  39. Filling up the space around us is a great way for us to hide. Take that away and there is space to be all who we are. We can then choose what we fill that space up with – either ourselves, or stuff. The stuff can also be internal stuff – we can bring emotions and drama to fill it up which serve equally well as clutter.

  40. I love this Mark. Our houses reflect our bodies. I find that if I have recently stepped up how I am living or when I return from a course or workshop, I then need to adjust my home. If our house does not evolve with us then it can drag us back to where we were and keep us there.

  41. This is so true: “There is no doubt, that to become more of who we truly are is a process of what we let go of, not what we add, as has been explained by Serge Benhayon on numerous occasions.” The more we let go of stuff, outside and in, the more we get to feel our truly beautiful selves.

  42. Our bodies work in much the same way deal with the beliefs that no longer support us then there is room for something else.

  43. There have been a few things I have been considering getting rid of from my home.. this blog has sealed the deal for me.. It is time to pass them on.

  44. The energetic ties we create can be found in many places – this morning I found that by clearing out old receipts from my wallet I also experinced a feeling of more space.

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