In what Quality do we do Christmas?

There are many beliefs and traditions about the way that Christmas pans out each year and for most it is either one of the most stimulating and looked forward to celebrations, or it is one of the most dreaded times of the year – for many different reasons. The lead-up to Christmas, the actual day and the days that follow can leave us utterly exhausted, emotional, or stressed out!

We need to wonder if this is the quality we really want to be in for our Christmas period? Have we lost sight that some of the reasons for celebrating Christmas could also be to focus on winding down after our year, celebrating family and enjoying quality time connecting together?

Christmas time can mean feeling a lot of pressure & expectations:

  • Preparing tirelessly for one day of the year.
  • Just how much money do we have to spend?
  • Feeling obliged to be everywhere at once.
  • Wondering if we will upset someone through the choices we make?

And the Big One:

  • How much food do we really need to eat?

This last year I experienced a different Christmas. My boyfriend and I decided not to stress about gifts but to go shopping together as a team and enjoy the process of buying a few things that we each really wanted. We arrived on the morning after the shops had pulled an ‘open all-nighter’ and what we observed was total mayhem and madness!

We saw people rushing around dragging trolleys, lemons and lettuces flying across the floor and more bloodshot eyes and emotionally strung out people rushing about in one place than at any other time of the year!

Is it possible there is another quality we can choose to be in over the Christmas period – a way that is even possible to be in all year round?

Within our family we have pondered on what Christmas could be like if we choose, wherever possible, to not get caught up in the hype of celebrating the Christmas that is highly promoted through advertising and in the shopping centres themselves.

What we discovered was:

  • When we shop as a team, or as an individual, with a set purpose to be present in our moments and enjoy the process, we don’t get caught up in the disgruntled or racy behaviour of others.
  • We don’t become distracted by the loud music or the shiny and glitzy decorations and we can make clear choices to buy gifts that feel just right.
  • We can use the opportunity to connect with the sales assistants, checkout operators and even some of our fellow shoppers too, in a calm and enjoyable manner.
  • We can choose the right amount of food, similar to the way in which we may aim to eat every day, making things more about the space we are holding all together whilst keeping our bodies feeling light.

When we choose to live in the quality of being that we live in throughout the year during this Christmas period, we can make our being together and our connections the natural focus.

This last year, over the Christmas period, we had the chance to celebrate all that we had come to learn throughout the year and we brought in a new family tradition to share our appreciation of each other with each other (wrapped up like bonbons!), whilst seeding forth more of the quality of being and togetherness we want for our year ahead.

If next Christmas you don’t wish to get caught up in the Christmas hype, stuff yourself silly with food but you would rather like to make your presence the best present of all for yourself and others, take a tip from this blog and make it about the quality you choose to connect to and live for yourself.

The awesome part being that you don’t have to wait until next Christmas, you can begin making it about your everyday Livingness every day!

In appreciation of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting the possibility that December can be a month for celebrating a whole twelve months of loving family relationships, and for it not to be just reserved for one day of Christmas celebrations. The quality presentations of The Way of The Livingness have influenced the way I live every day of the year, including over the Christmas holiday period.

By Cherise Holt, 32, Nurse, Australia

Related Reading:
What is the Livingness?
What I Love about Christmas
Exposing the Christmas Trap

938 thoughts on “In what Quality do we do Christmas?

  1. Totally agree Cherise, all that effort for one day is craziness… my family has gradually dropped many of the so-called traditions around food and presents, but I still notice a greater effort made for this day than most others aside from a birthday. Seeing the day as no different to any other is still a way off I think, but I certainly appreciate the glimpse you offer into what it could be like.

  2. Reading this blog and the comments has made me stop and appreciate how differently I approach Christmas these days compared to how I used to and how differently I feel at the end of it. This Christmas has been the least stressful and tense one ever for me, and now after the event I feel great and not the usual tiredness or heaviness or disappointment or sadness that can come at this time for various reasons. I really appreciated the stop, the rest and the quality time with people.

  3. You’ve made a good call on Christmas celebrations Cherise, its about celebrating the connection we have with people close to us, and that connection being there all year round.

  4. In my work, we always close down for at least 2 weeks. I used to ‘complain’ about using some of my annual leave for this, but in recent years, and more so this year, I’ve come to appreciate this time to use it to rest, spend more time with people in my life and to reflect on the year I’ve had.

  5. The choices we make throughout the year reflect the way in which we spend Christmas. No amount of food, alcohol, presents or spending time with others is going to change things; in fact Christmas can be very exposing if we choose to see and want to make changes that will support us.

  6. A great conversation Nicole to have. For it is worth considering the purpose of this day, the energy we invest in and the quality in which we move with through this time of the year. Are we celebrating a day together with our families, in honor of who we all are, or are we just going through the motions, so to speak, because it is what happens at this time of year as dictated by society? As this day currently comes around once a year, imagine if we chose to come together as a family/friends to simply support and inspire each other to consolidate and confirm the love we are, appreciate the choice we have made through the year that has supported us to learn and grow, look at what we can let go of that which no longer serves. A Christmas shared with the kind of presence that is truly priceless, as we are come together in honor of being more of who we are.

  7. Now this is a pre-Christmas classic: “We saw people rushing around dragging trolleys, lemons and lettuces flying across the floor and more bloodshot eyes and emotionally strung out people rushing about in one place than at any other time of the year!” What happens? The shops are closed for one day, one single day on Christmas Day, and everybody starts behaving as though a famine was about to break out and no more goods ever be available – surely it must be time to stop and consider that there is a different way to do Christmas, as described in your blog.

  8. The quality that we do something in is hugely important and has far reaching effects. For example, if we walk into work in a grumpy mood this can affect the mood of the workplace and the people in the workplace for the rest of the day

  9. When we ‘share our appreciation of each other with each other’ not only at Christmas but in our everyday everyone lights up.

  10. Valentines Day, Christmas, New Years or birthday celebrations they all bring with them an imprint and a foundation that to me isn’t true. But the beautiful thing is when we recognise that we can bring our own flavour and purpose to the day or event, knowingly claiming what a day celebrating Christ means to us, not following what everyone else chooses to do. Thank you Cherise for this heart felt present.

  11. I have been consciously working on my relationship with Christmas, I used to get very emotional and worn out with it all, lots of intense stuff had occurred over the years and each year, I held my breath to see how it would go. And so I began to work on the ability I approached Christmas in, and it has been steadily becoming lighter and more accepting of it being that it will be, less pictures of how it should be. It is will worth considering that we can change our perspective on Christmas as we can anything else in life.

  12. I have been feeling the a tension in myself these past couple of years, the pull to align to ‘family tradition’ versus what I feel within, which is, that christmas is just another day, that there is so much attention, time and misspent energy given to this one day. There is such a pressure on families these days to provide presents to children, many of which they don’t really need. All to keep up appearances and to align to what is the latest fad. Then people spending a day with family that they typically don’t like and fights ensue. Which is really showing the state of where family life is at and how they haven’t lived in a way during the year with each other that fosters love, acceptance and understanding. This pattern of behaviour doesn’t feel true or loving.

  13. It is quite showing how we are living mostly as humanity when the way we celebrate a day like Christmas leaves us so exhausted and stressed. I love your proposal to change the way we live and celebrate to be more honouring of our bodies.

  14. Last Christmas I asked myself about the allure of all the tempting, colourful and tasty food that is on offer and realised that it was a substitute for being connected to the ‘deliciousness’ within me. As Cherise shares here, our innate deliciousness is an all year round feast not just a short-term affair. In my experience, reconnecting to our inner truth reduces the desire for foods that are not truly supportive of our wellbeing and are therefore not self-loving.

  15. What a great question, the quality of christmas has become disgraceful. It isn’t about love or family, coming together to share time and space with one another. It has become ugly, busy shopping where people lose any semblance of decency or humanity. Its all about self and getting what you need, not thinking about others. It is all about getting the latest craze for kids whether you can afford it or not. What if we let go of all the empty giving and just felt ok about sharing time and love. This would be challenging for some, but well worth a try.

  16. ‘Phew – thank God that is over – now I can get back to normal life’ – this seems to be a common Christmas refrain. But is this the actual reality of life? Your words here Cherise emphasise to me that we live the same intense and driven way, every day, just to a slightly lesser degree. We rush around completing tasks without joy all with the end goal that we will have ‘a good time’. What would life be like I wonder, if we flipped this approach around, and made every move we make enjoyable? Then perhaps we would finally see we are a big gift to this world – precious as any pearl you could buy, or any sparkling star on a tree.

  17. Christmas is a time for families to get together and enjoy each others company, but so much hype, and rushing about for just one day can destroy the quality of this coming together. What if we stopped this madness that society places upon us, realising that we are not going to starve if we don’t bring home a trolly load of food all for one day, and instead of a bundle load of presents, we can bring the real present of us being lovingly present with each other, what a difference that day would bring.

  18. We can chip away at this well before Christmas and you don’t need wait for ‘the day’. I would say this same thing another way, “Is it possible there is another quality we can choose to be in over the Christmas period – a way that is even possible to be in all year round?” and say it, “Is it possible there is another quality we can choose to be in all year round – a way that will bring the same quality guaranteed to the Christmas period” As we all saying Christmas is the end of a year and so what does it truly show us? A time to celebrate yes and equally reflect on what is coming to a close, what have we been choosing all year that now is under the spotlight at the end. If we truly want a ‘different’ Christmas then start doing the little things well before.

  19. Its like we live the year in such a rush and momentum and then we expect Christmas to be a bit of a relief period yet we forget that the momentum doesn’t just stop it comes with us. We can’t expect a day to deliver us something it is more how we go about it and how we choose to be with that.

  20. You know being present for shopping isn’t just for Christmas and something I definitely need to learn and master consistently. Sometimes I will be really present, in my body and clear and other times in a bit of a rush and checked out (not completely present with my body and what I am doing). Yep and I agree let’s make it about love and relations the whole of the year and not just for one day of the year!!!! .. Christmas and as you say this starts with how we live.

  21. I love the concept of life being about a quality that can be celebrated and appreciated on an everyday basis rather than one that requires any special day or effort…. therefore making each day consistently beautiful rather than just a few.

  22. Cherise, this is a great question; ‘Have we lost sight that some of the reasons for celebrating Christmas could also be to focus on winding down after our year, celebrating family and enjoying quality time connecting together?’ I love this, I feel my body let go and feel at ease with Christmas when it is about celebrating family and connecting with each other, I also love that it can be a celebration of the previous 12 months; a time for reflection and evolution for the next year to come – very beautiful and very different to all of the usual ideals and beliefs around Christmas that do not feel loving.

  23. Everyday is a celebration, and to think it should be ‘special’ for just one day of the year is complete illusion.
    Everyday is an opportunity to appreciate and love more those around us and in our lives.

  24. I love this blog – I’m about to host a big party for my fourtieth and feel everything you shared Cherise is invaluable advice. It’s not about the pictures of how ‘it should be’ I have in my head, but making everything I do loving and from my heart in the first place. Each gesture, plate and decoration builds on top of an other, and everyone I let in to be a part of the team increases and enlarges the power of what we all bring.

  25. Equally what quality do we do birthdays, engagement parties, weddings or any so-called celebration> And on that note, in what quality do we ‘wind down’ from a hard week’s work, or from a stressful job we’ve just finished? When we realise that the quality we live in moment to moment is what gives us true satisfaction in life, we will stop harming ourselves in the name of celebrations.

  26. Thanks Cherise, it is a great opportunity to be honest and ponder on what quality we do anything, for if there is an inconsistency in the way we hold ourselves it is just another excuse that allows disregard and indulgence into our lives creating more harm than we ever want to admit.

  27. This is a great question – “How much food do we really need to eat?” Currently we seem to be obsessed with food but what is behind this? Why do we feel the need to eat more and more? Could it be because we are craving something that we think food will give us but never will? What we are craving is ourselves, a connection with who we truly are. The more we connect with ourselves the more we know exactly what to eat and how much to eat.

  28. I love the ‘wrapped bombons of appreciation’ idea. This is something that I will take for my family Christmas, along with the other one tips. Very inspiring!

  29. We have accepted Christmas is a time to indulge and eat and drink as much as we like but why do we do this? It is interesting that Christmas is about family, a time to be with family and so maybe we eat to dull ourselves so much so that we don’t have to feel the reality of where families are.

  30. Year on year I have been feeling the emptiness of christmas, it is really all about madness and chaos these days, what a difference christmas would be if we were to make it about connection, make it about love and not about presents.

  31. Great blog Cherise, appreciating ourselves and others is so important, we never do enough of it, and when you appreciate someone it is often the greatest gift because it makes them feel their own worth. Families so often try to score points off one another and when we do the opposite and support one another we change the dynamics of the family to appreciate each other in everything they do.

  32. I find December to be a quiet month. So many people are caught up in the hype and lead up to Christmas and if you are not part of that, things can be fairly quiet. I love it as I take the time to catch up on things and take some small breaks with my family. It is as though we are on the outside of a momentum that has gripped society and it is all very calm from where we stand.

  33. ‘How much food do we really need to eat?’ This is a great question one that we need to ask our self daily. We need to truly listen to our body and adjust the amount we eat according to what is actually needed, not from what we desire to numb or distract us away from ourselves.

  34. That haste and bustle that catches hold of people and drives them forward during the Christmas rush can be like a blur – likewise on the actual day. What we need to ask ourselves honestly is how enjoyable is anything when we are constantly rushing in fast forward?

  35. “How much food do we really need to eat?” This is a really great question. Very rarely do we stop to consider the answer to this question because we do not want to know that we mostly eat for comfort rather than to sustain life. Eating for comfort ensures that we will overeat.

  36. Christmas or any other celebration means nothing to me unless I feel the connection to myself and to others. Whatever is going on around me it cannot be greater than the connection to myself even though I allow myself to slip from time to time. I have always known this truth often being called a party pooper but today I have the tools so that I can enjoy whatever the celebration is through the quality of the connection to myself.

  37. ” …… to make your presence the best present of all for yourself and others, take a tip from this blog and make it about the quality you choose to connect to and live for yourself…….” So true Cherise and we can choose to live this every day, as you say.

  38. When we put an expectation onto something we set ourselves up for disappointment and stress and Christmas is definitely one where the pictures that show how this day could be and or should be are manifold. So good to take a step back and allow ourselves to go by what we feel – really feel, and not what we think and feel obliged to do.

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