In what Quality do we do Christmas?

There are many beliefs and traditions about the way that Christmas pans out each year and for most it is either one of the most stimulating and looked forward to celebrations, or it is one of the most dreaded times of the year – for many different reasons. The lead-up to Christmas, the actual day and the days that follow can leave us utterly exhausted, emotional, or stressed out!

We need to wonder if this is the quality we really want to be in for our Christmas period? Have we lost sight that some of the reasons for celebrating Christmas could also be to focus on winding down after our year, celebrating family and enjoying quality time connecting together?

Christmas time can mean feeling a lot of pressure & expectations:

  • Preparing tirelessly for one day of the year.
  • Just how much money do we have to spend?
  • Feeling obliged to be everywhere at once.
  • Wondering if we will upset someone through the choices we make?

And the Big One:

  • How much food do we really need to eat?

This last year I experienced a different Christmas. My boyfriend and I decided not to stress about gifts but to go shopping together as a team and enjoy the process of buying a few things that we each really wanted. We arrived on the morning after the shops had pulled an ‘open all-nighter’ and what we observed was total mayhem and madness!

We saw people rushing around dragging trolleys, lemons and lettuces flying across the floor and more bloodshot eyes and emotionally strung out people rushing about in one place than at any other time of the year!

Is it possible there is another quality we can choose to be in over the Christmas period – a way that is even possible to be in all year round?

Within our family we have pondered on what Christmas could be like if we choose, wherever possible, to not get caught up in the hype of celebrating the Christmas that is highly promoted through advertising and in the shopping centres themselves.

What we discovered was:

  • When we shop as a team, or as an individual, with a set purpose to be present in our moments and enjoy the process, we don’t get caught up in the disgruntled or racy behaviour of others.
  • We don’t become distracted by the loud music or the shiny and glitzy decorations and we can make clear choices to buy gifts that feel just right.
  • We can use the opportunity to connect with the sales assistants, checkout operators and even some of our fellow shoppers too, in a calm and enjoyable manner.
  • We can choose the right amount of food, similar to the way in which we may aim to eat every day, making things more about the space we are holding all together whilst keeping our bodies feeling light.

When we choose to live in the quality of being that we live in throughout the year during this Christmas period, we can make our being together and our connections the natural focus.

This last year, over the Christmas period, we had the chance to celebrate all that we had come to learn throughout the year and we brought in a new family tradition to share our appreciation of each other with each other (wrapped up like bonbons!), whilst seeding forth more of the quality of being and togetherness we want for our year ahead.

If next Christmas you don’t wish to get caught up in the Christmas hype, stuff yourself silly with food but you would rather like to make your presence the best present of all for yourself and others, take a tip from this blog and make it about the quality you choose to connect to and live for yourself.

The awesome part being that you don’t have to wait until next Christmas, you can begin making it about your everyday Livingness every day!

In appreciation of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for presenting the possibility that December can be a month for celebrating a whole twelve months of loving family relationships, and for it not to be just reserved for one day of Christmas celebrations. The quality presentations of The Way of The Livingness have influenced the way I live every day of the year, including over the Christmas holiday period.

By Cherise Holt, 32, Nurse, Australia

Related Reading:
What is the Livingness?
What I Love about Christmas
Exposing the Christmas Trap

1,005 thoughts on “In what Quality do we do Christmas?

  1. I love the tradition you brought in of sharing your appreciation for one another – it’s a simple thing but one that can really leave a lasting impression and support each other a lot.

  2. Christmas is a funny one, and some of the traditions have no true purpose or meaning in our modern lives. It is great to hear you are bringing in some of your own traditions now that truly serve! As a family, we have a little tradition, driving around Christmas eve looking at all the lights that people put up on their houses. The reason I love our little town tour is you can feel in the summer air a real old school sense of family and community. In everyday life, we all tend to hide in our little lives and houses, politely ignoring each other, whereas at this time of year, most families sit out front of their houses on camp chairs waving to the cars driving by, people are on the street talking to neighbours and everyone feels open and safe with one another. Obviously, we do not need lights on our houses to be this way with one another and one day, hopefully we will not just leave this community openness to a week in December.

    1. We are stuck in the mindset that we need to save certain things for special occasions and thus have nominated certain days or moments for it. But as you point out Sarah, we can always be open and loving, with everyone and everywhere, all the time.

    2. So gorgeously observed Sarah. I love the community feel that Christmas brings out in neighbourhoods too. Perhaps it is the people in those houses that are the lights we are truly there to connect with. If we connect to others with an open heart we shine and there’s no big electricity bill to pay 😊 now thats bound to be a winning lights display any day of the year.

  3. It’s so lovely to feel the difference when we make everyday just as valuable as the next and that Christmas doesn’t need to be stressful and tense if we choose to move in a way that supports our bodies. The quality of our movements really can make a great difference to any day of our lives and it can also be a true celebration of who we are too.

  4. I try to avoid the supermarkets around Christmas, because its so crowded and the queues are extra long. The Reality is the shops are only closed for 1 day and that’s Christmas day, but we stock up like they are going to be shut for weeks. I am very grateful for online shopping at this time of year.

  5. I love Christmas in our house. My son joyfully finds things around the house to wrap up and writes himself loving notes on what he does wrap up. It’s super gorgeous and a heap of fun to observe.

  6. In coming up to the period of Christmas this is a great question to ask ourselves .. however I feel it is a great question to ask ourselves no matter what time of the year we are in ‘in what quality do we live?’. As the quality in how we live with ourselves and with everyone is everything.

  7. There can be a lot going on over the Christmas period but I am finding that the key is to hold steady like any other busy time of the year and not allow myself to fall and get wrapped up in it. When I make my life about purpose and hold this I am less likely to get distracted. Naturally I get pulled from time to time but usually this is nothing but an offering to not hold back and speak up.

  8. Its coming to that silly time of year again where we have those awful Xmas songs playing and Santa pops up in unexpected places.We are stagnant with the same old traditions, Xmas has passed its sell by date.

  9. With Christmas happening in a month it is interesting to feel the rush and stress people are already going into and the massive amount of spending and indulging that occurs this time of year. I agree Cherise, if we focussed on the quality I am sure many would feel the joy this can bring to not only one day of the year, but to our lives everyday.

    1. Yes give it another week and the Easter Bunny will hop out. I don’t “do” Christmas, Easter or any of these days – I enjoy every day – much more fun why limit myself to one day 🙂

  10. Cherise a timely blog for me to stumble upon and reflect that it’s not what we do but the quality in the way in which we do things that matter most, to make a single event the answer to the rest of the ‘down times’ was something I thought worked, but today and looking back I see the value and importance of consistency.

  11. I’m so pleased I have finally seen the light when it comes to Christmas. I no longer feel that need to over indulge and go crazy because it is the 25th of December. When I finally stepped back and observed Christmas from the outside, I realised just how much pressure everyone is put under, to not only have a great day, but to have enough food (for weeks), to please people with presents, to make sure everyone else is having a great time, to mediate family craziness etc etc. It’s so intense…and none of it, NONE of it is aimed at simply connecting with the people you perhaps haven’t seem since the year before, in a true way I mean. Now, the pressure for me and my family has gone. We attempt to get the 4 of us together and do something simple, and it’s no big deal, it’s just like any other day.

    1. It is intense Elodie, but it is our choice to engage with that intensity or not. It’ll be interesting for me this year as I will be with my immediate family at Christmas for the first time in 29 years. I’m really looking forward to us all being together, and will keep reminding myself that any intensity there may be is all of our own creation.

  12. Yes, back to that mad time of year when Christmas is anything but appreciation and more of a chore, an obligation, a formula, an illusion. So your blog is a timely reminder of the opportunity to introduce to it an appreciation of the people in our lives, a true reflection on the nature of our relationships and on the quality of ourselves in them. What if though, we could break the seasonal cycle of good will to all men and make that an everyday responsibility? How different might the world look from this one shift in commitment?

  13. Yes huge appreciation to Serge Benhayon for presenting the one life – bringing our quality to everything, everyone and every moment – best present (presence) ever.

  14. It’s so much easier and healthier when we pause and choose to not to do the hype of Christmas or get involved in the palatable stress. This has been our choice now as a family for ten years, and it is definitely the healthiest option of what’s on offer.

  15. It feels like the majority of us don’t seem to realise there’s another way to be at Christmas. It’s a vast machine with a momentum that can seem unstoppable, when in reality we have a constant choice as to whether we will step off or not.

  16. What a blessing to be reminded of the potential for a time of year to be about the polar opposite of what it has been set up to be! Appreciation for who we have in our lives, for what we bring to the world and how we can do that every day not just one day of the year. The space and grace to let each other shine.

  17. I am really looking forward to having some time at Christmas to spend with my family and build on our relationships. For me this stop to reconnect with myself and others and rest is what Christmas is all about.

  18. I love the idea of sharing our appreciation for each other rather than presents. Any time of year is great for this…. though I do enjoy gathering at Christmas and being together with family and friends.

  19. I have been pondering lately on my quality and what I choose. There is a sense of knowing my true quality inside out, a feeling inside that is very real and present. What I am discovering is that it takes a loving committment to actually allow this quality to move my body. The ease of movement and feeling of grace that exudes from a body lived in this way is a gift to humanity. Christmas is all wrapped up in hype, where we have forgotten the very reason Christmas is celebrated. To celebrate the son of God – that we all are.

  20. What if we kept christmas really simple? Christmas is coming up now and I see it as an opportunity to deeply rest, rejunvenate and enjoy spending time with people and prepare for what’s ahead.

  21. After Christmas being such a huge focus in my life for many years, and often not in an enjoyable way, it is so refreshing to view it as just another day of the year; a day to be celebrated just like all the others. With the true meaning of Christmas having been well and truly lost under the mountains of discarded paper and disappointing presents how wonderful it would be to bring the celebrations back to being about people and to simply being with those we treasure and love having in our lives.

    1. If we used this time in December to reflect we would find that there is much to celebrate in how we have been with ourselves and others and how we can be for the year following. But celebrate through the expression of appreciation and the quality in which we are living in.

  22. It is easy to get caught up in the idea of Christmas, what we think how these days need to be. What you show here is that we can make it a time to the rhythm and likes that suit us and do not have to oblige to all that is on offer. After all we as a society/societies determine what is on offer in the world. And why not make it a time of cherishing and caring deeply for ourselves and take this quality into our everyday all year round.

    1. Actually what you say Esther is that what we see in our societies and what is on offer is actually because we are creating all of this together. So this means we can change this by changing our attitude and intention toward Christmas and make it about relationships with ourselves and others first and all what comes after that will be in service of these relationships.

  23. A beautiful reflection on what December really is here to celebrate. A whole month of how we have been in all relationships all year, a time to be with and celebrate family and friends. As well as reflect on what has been for the upcoming year.

  24. I find Christmas a huge amount of fun – for me it’s a day when everyone comes together in some way. My son takes care of a Christmas tree which he loves to set up and look at the pretty lights. I buy him a present. We plan a meal with friends which is something we do regularly anyway…none of it needs to be stressful. We don’t need to push ourselves beyond our means and buy presents we can’t afford. We can come together for fun, which we can do any day of the year, but why not do it on a day that has been designated for that?

  25. The joy of Christmas is when families take the time to come together to enjoy and appreciate each other, looking back on this past year and appreciating how far we have come and what has been offered to us, sharing our deepening love of self and all those around us.

    1. Having this purpose I would go absolutely pro Christmas, but actually people who come together like that, eat so much, that they are physically though together but energetically disconnected from each other. Like many things in life, our mind loves reward. Food is one tool to reward- the effect of reward is though, that we stay in the cycle of disconnection to ourselves, as we constantly need and seek it again and again from the outside.

  26. It is important to understand that our bodies do not need that special food or extra ordinarily desert but more profoundly are served by a warm and deepening relationship with everybody we are with.

    1. Christmas is called the celebration of Love in german. For me everyday is a celebration of love and if not- I look at what came in between, that the normal was disturbed or avoided.

  27. There is a different way … it’s possible to truly appreciate and celebrate each other at Christmas or indeed any other time without the stress and craziness that Christmas has been for many of us. It is about quality first and how we are in us and by extension with others, and we can do this in any moment no matter what has gone before.

  28. The frantic pace of activity before and during the Christmas period combined with all the ideas and beliefs that society subscribes to leaves its protagonists, people like you and me, exhausted, disillusioned and even angry. Why then do we do it over and over again rather than making some sane and sensible choices for a change?

  29. Why does Christmas actually truly exist? Everything you say is true- is it not just a further disconnecting event we placed as humanity to not truly surrender to who we are and actually use the time to appreciate at the end of the cycle/ year ?

  30. Christmas has come and gone for another year and most people that I speak with are glad that it is over. People set themselves up to have a magical Christmas and yet this rarely occurs because people do not realise that it is how we live throughout the year that affects how we are at Christmas.

  31. Everywhere we go, we are constantly reminded of what time of year it is – be it Christmas, New Year, Valentine, Easter whatever that is and the push seems to be getting stronger for us to be a certain way and do certain things but those cycles are not natural to us, they are man-made stimulus and we are only reacting to them. What if we can learn to live according to the cycle that is innate to us, regardless of whatever the world tells us?

  32. The quality we do Christmas in shows in how we feel after – I have met so many people who are still recovering from New year and Christmas because of the late night, entertainment, bad food and alcohol – time to ask is it really worth it.

  33. For me christmas always had to do with the Christ Energy. To connect with that and to be with others in that connection.
    Since I study with Universal medicine this connection I feel more and more in my daily life.
    A gift from heaven to celebrate with Christmas with a beautiful cream white candle on the table feeling the beauty within and around us.

  34. This year I had such an enjoyable Christmas spending it with family and friends who I deeply treasure. It took me time to adjust to accepting all that was on offer in terms of the depth of love that was there and the connections with each other. It is so very different to what I experienced growing up where there were often a lot of unsaid tensions on Christmas day between family members.

  35. Beautiful Cherise. There seems to be a holiday season advertised at the shops every day of the year these days, Christmas, New Year Valentine’s Day, Chinese New Year Easter, mother’s day, Father’s Day and everything in between. The marketing is relentless.

    At the same time we are bombarded with advertisements that tell us how we can look better (clothes/makeup), feel better (painkillers) or at least numb the pain (donuts, alcohol). Hmmm doesn’t feel great at all.

    Your words remind me that we can observe all of this without being sucked in to it and when we do it’s better than the best Christmas.

  36. When Christmas is over we can then ask ourselves “in what quality do we do everything in our lives, because it is the quality that we do things in that matters.

  37. The same could be said of birthdays, valentine’s day, anniversary’s, easter and so on. The traditions we follow may not be true for us, and there is no reason for us to follow them like we have blinkers on, but we can instead be open to a deeper understanding of cultural and religious events.

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