Does Growing up Sheltered Protect you from the World?

A lot of parents wish to protect their children from the harshness of the world and from the very confronting and mean behaviour that children especially encounter in high school. However, does sheltering your child truly protect them from what is going on in the world?

In my own experience I would answer this question with a clear No.

I had a very sheltered childhood. I was sent to an alternative schooling system and my mother created this big bubble around us, making sure we did not get into contact with rude people or get into any harsh situations, and that she was always there to protect us. Of course this bubble was not perfect and we could see through it. Behind those ‘beautiful’ bubble walls there was a different world out there, however, we did not belong to it – so we thought – feeling somehow removed, aloof and that we were not participating in it.

In this way we were raised in the feeling that we were special but also different from anyone else, which separated us from others and gave us a feeling of superiority, of not really belonging to the world.

When I left school I was very lost and in no way equipped to deal with life. In fact I was not really willing to participate in life – I had no sense of what profession or work I wanted to learn. The truth is my whole childhood world turned around on me. There was always my mother there to do it for me, which left me completely self-centred with no sense for other people’s needs and not even remotely feeling that I might contribute to making life more beautiful and worth living for everyone on this planet.

There was no gratitude for my mother either; I hated her efforts and had no appreciation for her willingness to go out of her way to be there for us.

The interesting part is that my sisters and I had nightmares all through our childhood.

We would spend half the night in our parents’ bed, and even later on when we were older we would creep into each other’s bed for support. I remember waking up lots of nights terrified and we all had the same sense of something evil being in our room: sometimes I was too scared to jump out of bed as I had to pass this evil ‘thing’ on my way out. Once I gathered enough courage I would run as fast as I could to the safety of my parents’ bed.

For someone living such a protected and sheltered life, it makes you wonder where these nightmares were coming from and where the feeling of someone evil out there to come and get you derived from. It really makes no sense and shows that I did not feel very safe and protected at all.

As the nightmares in my childhood show, I had no sense of being equipped to deal with threatening situations, however I had a clear sense that bad and threatening things existed and all I could do is be scared of it behind my bubble wall that obviously did not make me feel safe at all.

The bubble may have attempted to shield me from the harshness but it also had the effect of cutting me off from interacting with the world, from experiencing the abundant flavours and colours that make life so full and rich.

Interestingly I was not happy living behind these thick walls of protection, but I did not question it until one day I met Serge Benhayon, who reflected to me that there is a different way of being, a way that has now brought so much more joy into my life.

So very clearly, for me the sheltered life did not work out well. It took a lot of work on myself, cutting through the arrogance, the judgement and hardness that was like a shield around me, to recover the beautiful, loving and caring woman I am.

My life and my views are greatly inspired by Serge Benhayon. He changed my outlook on life and encouraged me to participate in the world in a playful and joyful way, inspiring me to come out of my self-created bubble that now, looking back, was like a very isolated prison cell – it felt somewhat safe but wasn’t true at all.

By J.A., Germany

Related Reading:
~ From Suffering from Withdrawals – to Healthy Relationships and True Intimacy
~ From Being a Lonely Rider to Opening up for People
~ “Expression is Everything” – How I Feel About Myself, the World and Other People

1,928 thoughts on “Does Growing up Sheltered Protect you from the World?

  1. It’s true that we all like to feel safe, but the truth is there is much on offer to learn about ourselves, and what we have within us, if we learn to deal with and handle situations. We have incredible qualities and resources within, but we may not learn to access these and know our full potential without circumstances asking us to be more of ourselves (by way of response) than we already are.

  2. There is this illusion that we are somehow separate from the world and can pick and choose only the bits that suit us- but no, we are in this all together and the reality is such because of us.

  3. People need to hear the truth because somewhere in us it resonates and this then has the potential to activate what we already know.

  4. Growing up sheltered means our world is usually very small. That can be very nice or particularly bad as there is no escape. In any case it leaves us unprepared once we are grown up.

    1. So true Doug. This exposes how harmful it can be to impose on others and try to protect them. When we come from protection is it from love or from fear? In my experience, anything that is impulse by fear leads to harm and stunts our evolution.

  5. When we hide away our mind imagines all the scary things ‘out there’ but if we face the challenges we meet then we find that we are amazing and can deal with whatever is in front of us.

  6. I tried to protect my children from the perceived evils in the world out there, thinking that this was a loving thing to do, but this protection did not at all prepare them to understand how to cope with life in general. I have since come to understand that there is no love in protection.

    1. Wow, Jill thank you for sharing. It is super supportive for us to read this because most of us tend to want to protect the people we love but when we understand that protection is actually not loving then it is clear to see how harmful this can be.

  7. JA if you had not have found Serge and the work he offers through Universal Medicine you could have lived your whole life within the confines of how your upbringing influenced you. It’s the same for me also, it’s inconceivable where my life would be now without the support of Universal Medicine, and I’m sure it’s the same for many others. No matter what our backgrounds, issues, traumas, etc, we have all been able to resurrect ourselves out of our histories to live the true fullness of our essence, our true selves, and feel healthier, more vital, and more committed to life. Serge and Universal Medicine are the real deal.

  8. Being arrogant, aloof and judgemental is not only cold towards others but builds a coldness inside of us that is the opposite of our innately warm, open and loving nature. Fortunately that inner fire is never totally extinguished and so we can always come back to re-connect with and let it out when we are inspired to do so.

  9. To talk to kids about what happens in the world, what they feel and the energy they see and feel is so important. I am raising 2 children, and they are so aware of so much more than the physical – so it is important to honour that and help them understand all the world is so that they can make their own choices.

  10. Protecting children from the world is like keeping them in a glasshouse and when they leave that protected environment, as surely they eventually will, it will be like taking the plant from the glasshouse and plantint it out in the time of frosts.

  11. Sheltering ourselves from the world doesn’t work, what works is being open and willing to respond to everything that comes our way.

    1. I agree Elizabeth, if we hide and protect ourselves and others from the world, we are delaying what there is for us to learn and grow. It could have detrimental effects on us if we avoid embracing our evolution and when I look around, I can see how protection is affecting humanity and where we are heading.

  12. Protecting ourselves, and other people, just doesn’t work: we can feel what’s really going on beyond the bubble of seeming protection, but keeping ourselves away from it means that we don’t deal with how we feel about it, and don’t learn how to be out in the world without taking it all on. Keeping ourselves ‘protected’ is really just isolating ourselves.

  13. The reality of human life today can be harsh but if we are overprotected we may not develop the necessary skills to resolve the challenges today’s world poses.

  14. Our connection to who we are in essence, our Soul, is everything we need to live the confidence and joy of who we are in the world. This way of being is innate in us from the moment we are born, and in fact we mostly as children are led and learn how to live dishonouring this connection, leaving us with little sense of knowing all that we are and what it is to live guided by our Soul. Reconnect to this quality that is ever-present and we soon can feel the empowerment of love and its beautiful ways.

    1. Your comment reminds me that parenting can be about bringing out the fullness of a child’s essence and supporting them to rely on that in the way they respond to the world – essentially to be their whole and sensitive selves expressing all of their innate qualities. Children are equal beings just in smaller bodies. If we try to control the outer life for kids it doesn’t really work, because the focus is not on their essence but on protection from challenges and difficulties. The human race is very out of touch with how much there is within us.

  15. There comes a point when we all have to learn to stand on our own two feet, it makes sense to me that we teach our kids this earlier rather than let them wait until they are adults to discover their own strength and begin to build their own foundations.

  16. Real life is not just love, there is a lot of evil on our planet. Each and everyone of us needs to learn how to deal with those energies and only through brotherhood we can make it work. Being extremely protected creates separation from our own knowing of truth and from everyone else. It is our responsibility as parents to support our children in how to handle life also by reflecting this in how we live.

  17. I have been learning from my daughter that she needs to be in the world to understand it and then make different choices. She will grow up with so many reflections around her, and so i see my role as helping her understand everything and then she is free to choose.

  18. “Behind those ‘beautiful’ bubble walls there was a different world out there, however, we did not belong to it – so we thought – feeling somehow removed, aloof and that we were not participating in it.” – This is the problem, we are born to be connected and interacting with all of the world in an open way without holding back and without protection. By putting a child in a ‘bubble’ and thinking that you are doing them a great service it is actually doing the opposite, creating a situation where the child does not have a chance to learn from the world and from people in all kinds of life situations and breeds an arrogance that they are above or better than other people, instead of equal to everyone.

  19. Very interesting final sentence there – how our protected lives behind the wall might feel safe, but are in fact a prison that stops us from being a part of the all that we are absolutely designed to be a part of. How can we be all the love we naturally are if we are cut off from expressing it to everyone and in everything?

  20. Raising children, by whatever means, to feel that they are special or different in some way or other sews the seeds of separation within them, and this may very well hinder them from expressing and experiencing the joy of living in brotherhood.

  21. Parents think they are doing the best for their children by protecting them from the harshness of life but at some stage these children have to grow up and become adults, but have not had the opportunity to learn and put into practice the basic skills to handle life. True love is never about protection but observing and allowing so that children can learn for themselves how to be in life.

  22. “Does Growing up Sheltered Protect you from the World?” From my experience the answer is absolutely no. We need to be prepared to see all the corruption that is occurring in the world because it is only when we see it can we renounce it.

  23. Safety and protection are the ways we use when we are separated from ourselves and from each other, keeping us isolated and unable to fully function in the world with people. There is a whole new world to discover out there when we connect to the love that we are and then share our love with everyone.

  24. It is absolutely No, it does not. It continues to feed the illusion of the way we live in creation and that we can help others with this behaviour. The only person we can sort out is ourselves.

  25. It’s really about truth and not safety as you note here … and closing ourselves off from others and the world will not bring us truth.

  26. It is interesting that you experienced nightmares even though you were ‘protected’ – this shows that everything is energy, and that we cannot protect another on a physical or energetic level. What a huge exposing this is and one where you are now able to be in the world as all of who you are, and reflect this to others instead of holding back protecting them.

  27. “Behind those ‘beautiful’ bubble walls there was a different world out there, however, we did not belong to it – so we thought – feeling somehow removed, aloof and that we were not participating in it.” Protecting children in this way simply creates separation between others.

  28. We have to be very careful that we are not protecting our children from learning and growing as this is what we are here to do

  29. There is a form of ignorance in thinking hiding one from the word is going to protect them. It’s almost setting them up to be exposed and harmed by what you are hiding them from, leaving them unequipped to deal with what lays ahead. I also think how is one meant to change what we are hiding from if we are not being part of it? Should we not change it from within, just as we would ourselves.

  30. My question would be can we shelter our children from the real world? I would say (especially with social media now) No. However, we can support and teach our children as well as being a role model to them through how we are and how we live including what do we tolerate, ignore and accept in the world and this is where I feel we are really falling down because if we were TRULY doing this there would not be a feeling of wanting to shelter or protect them from the real world. One person can make huge changes but greater change comes from greater numbers when many are standing up against abuse and choosing to live from decency and respect for both ourselves and others.

  31. We might think we can protect our children from the ‘harsh’ world, but when we do so are we then not living in the illusion that we can withdraw ourselves from the reality of life and create our own safe heaven while this heaven still is in the same reality we fear to face?

  32. We genuinely want to support our kids and protect them from the harshness of the world, but as you rightly point out, J.A., putting them in a bubble does not support them to handle life and interact with it on a sure footing.

  33. When we get out into the world we often find our anxiety will go, its when we keep ourselves hidden away the shadows feel more powerful than what they are.

    1. Beautifully said Sam, while we might think we are safe in protecting ourselves from the ‘harsh’ world and to withdraw ourselves from its activity, we are imprisoning ourselves by our own mind and in that state easily being hurt by what the reality of life is bringing to us on a daily basis.

  34. After being home for a while because of being ill I could feel I had become much more sensitive to the world which is great, to feel more of what is going on yet I could also feel that I could not stay home forever and that part of regaining strength is in going back into life, being with people and learning again. It brings a lot to our life to be with other people and in society, and bring our own contribution to the whole.

  35. We can never truly protect ourselves or others by avoiding difficult situations or people because it can be a form of control that simply leads to anxiousness and very little protection.

  36. ‘There was always my mother there to do it for me, which left me completely self-centred with no sense for other people’s needs and not even remotely feeling that I might contribute to making life more beautiful and worth living for everyone on this planet.’ I find this a very interesting observation. Even very small children who have only been walking for a short time like to help around the house. They want to do what we are doing and share in the chores but do we let them? We are more than likely thinking that it is too complicated and we are in too much of a hurry but this can be precious play time where we get our washing done in the process.

  37. One of the most revealing aspects of what Serge Benhayon is presenting to humanity is that we must not hide ourselves away, that it is in the thick of it all where the work is done now.

    1. Love it Chris – time for everyone to roll up their sleeves and get stuck into life, no holding back, no special corners or protected bubbles… just all the love we have for every situation and person we find ourselves with. Super super simple.

    2. So true Chris for it is only in ‘the thick of things’ and dealing with what is not working that things will change because it will not happen on its own or by accident.

  38. The reason children today have a poor immune system is because they have never had a dirt pie. By living in their clean little bubble the body has never had to build itself up. Kids that have grown up on farms are less likely to have alleges and other diseases, that indoor kids are defenseless against. When I grew up, parents would have chicken pox party’s when someone in the neighbourhood had it, they would have a play day so all could get infected, because it is has high risk of complications if caught when an adult.

  39. ” However, does sheltering your child truly protect them from what is going on in the world? ”
    I would also answer no, for like the Budda we all have to understand all aspects of life, to know the purpose of living.

  40. What I have noticed is that whatever the consciousness that we are raised with, often people either accept this and it becomes their way too or they react to it and live a picture that is totally opposite of this, but underneath they often haven’t changed the energy and are still then affected by the old and this is then in the new way they have taken on.

  41. I can relate to being sheltered from many of life’s harsh realities as a child and the painful separation from others that it actually causes. As an old saying says ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’.
    “The bubble may have attempted to shield me from the harshness but it also had the effect of cutting me off from interacting with the world, from experiencing the abundant flavours and colours that make life so full and rich”.

  42. I wonder how being sheltered or not sheltered compares to whether there was love or not? I didn’t want to be sheltered and was lucky – I wasn’t limited, but love?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.