The Act of Love

One day at work I noticed my colleague handing a spoon to a gentleman he used to work with. The gentleman had just made the comment that he wanted to eat his yoghurt whilst grabbing it from another room, and from that my colleague handed him the spoon without the required “Can I have one please?”

Right now you’re probably like… “So, what’s the big deal?” And really, there is no big deal, it was just beautiful to register the act, and it got me thinking about love and the loving gestures we show one another. He was so natural with it, and it was clear to see that it is a normal part of how we can be with each other – caring for each other.

For me, this was a clear example of how love can be shown and displayed in the most simple of ways that are truly caring. Most of the time love is displayed by grand gestures or special moments – buying expensive things and making a big fuss over anniversaries, birthdays etc. Sort of like it’s a part-time gig, not an everyday commitment. Though, love is an everyday thing, you can’t turn it on or off, it can’t be revved up for the bedroom or even contained to repeating the words “I love you”.

It’s not too often that I see two people spending valuable time together, doing things with each other lovingly, paying attention to detail with each other and simply being with each other. When I picture a couple I see a man sitting on the couch watching TV and the woman off doing what needs to be done to keep up appearances (I think I need to update my mental picture library… maybe just throw it away altogether.)

Thanks to the inspiration of Universal Medicine though, what I have learnt and have come to cherish about love is that it is so simple and ordinary.

It’s in the everyday things we do with another: like saying hello, walking through the door, a gentle touch as we pass, or handing over a spoon. It’s truly caring for another person, feeling what is needed for them and doing it. Sharing yourself and how you feel without reservation in whatever way you deem fit.

I have learnt that it requires no selfishness and the ability to get yourself out of the way; not to disregard yourself and put others first, but have your own stuff sorted and cared for first. For some this may be the basics – food, eat, sleep – for others this may be something else. When you do have your own stuff sorted you have the space to be able to be with someone in a truly loving and caring way.

You can’t love another until you love yourself after all. I used to hate this saying, but it makes sense, as if you don’t even know what love is for yourself, how can you offer it to another?

Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, where I get to see loving gestures between people every day.

by E, Brisbane

Related Reading:
Expressing Love: I Love You
The Grandness of our own Love
Expressing Love to All, Equally So

1,793 thoughts on “The Act of Love

  1. I am in a new relationship and it is these small gestures shown by my partner that help build trust and intimacy in the relationship. It is very beautiful and honouring to receive when someone notices those small things and attends to them- you feel the care they are expressing.

  2. I love the simplicity of your words: Basically, have your own stuff sorted and you are not in the way of truly being loving with people. With self in the way everything gets complicated.

    1. There is always more and more room to sort your stuff and once there is a flow and system that holds a steady foundation what is offered to another is nothing short of an abundance of love to share.

  3. The naturalness of this gesture reveals our true nature. The simplicity of love comes through in taking care of ourselves in a loving way.

  4. I used to hate this saying as well – “You can’t love another until you love yourself after all.” – it used to drive me bonkers!!! And now that I am too starting to love myself and realise that I am love (as we all are), I can see the absolute truth of this statement and that I was resisting the opportunity to bring love to myself as I was too focused on being hard on myself.

  5. Thanks E, it’s the everyday moments where love is expressed that makes life a true joy. The grand gestures actually fall flat compared to the day to day living of love, even in the most mundane moments.

  6. The unconditional love we hold for ourselves in living our daily lives holds so much because it encapsulates everyone around us in that love too. The simple moments of our days can be a movement of love anytime of day and its 100% free.

  7. Until we are able to energetically discern what truth is we will understand that the words ” I love you” have been highly bastardised in our society and mean nothing unless they come from our connection to an open heart.

  8. It’s being open to these gestures no matter how small, and which at the time may seem quite insignificant but they are not. Once we realise that the way someone expresses love may be different from ours and delivered in an unexpected gesture, then we can appreciate what we have.

  9. Yes, I agree – Serge Benhayon lives his life in full with even the smallest of gestures, the way he connects and speaks with another, even in the way he moves is always reflecting a depth of unfathomable love that inspires beyond measure.
    “Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, where I get to see loving gestures between people every day”.

  10. “Sharing yourself and how you feel without reservation” or fear of rejection – is something I am learning and if I am honest it’s a scary process, that brings up a lot of vulnerability.

  11. How can we possibly know or offer something to someone when we don’t truly know ourselves? It seems almost common sense for whatever we are doing to be in respect of what we have first known ourselves. We are naturally caring, it’s almost our default if you like and yet this isn’t the first thing we choose. Meaning we have put many things on top of how we care for ourselves and so when the choice or opportunity is offered to us to bring our care, it’s covered or protected and we offer people the layer of protection first. It’s great to see what may look like random acts of care and yet they appear random only out of us consistently bringing what is on top of what is true. The more we offer ourselves the truth of who we are, the easier it is for it to be present when faced by others, it’s natural because of how we live, how we are with ourselves in each moment.

  12. This blog reminds me of someone I know that walks with such grace and so very naturally, but is totally unaware of this, so I clocked it and said to them, you really have the most graceful walk and way you move. They said to me, no I don’t, my partner doesn’t tell me that, and I said, that’s because they are not really seeing you, but trust me, you move with such grace and care. This brought a smile to their face and so every time I see them I say, graceful woman walking, which lightens them up.

  13. Such a wise insight that we need to sort our own stuff first, so that we are able to be open and loving with others. And then love is felt through every movement, every action, every word. Fireworks and a grand gesture is not necessary, the most simple, delicate and tender gesture says it all.

    1. True – we have become so caught up in the ‘fireworks’ (the drama of it all) that we have seemingly forgotten that the flame of love that burns deep within our heart is all that is needed to help reignite the same flame within another by virtue of its glow in every simple gesture we make.

      1. Exactly – a fiery spark that ignites and dances in the joy of sharing itself. A flame that burns eternally and is always there and always here it is just us that is at times absent.

  14. Love is an emanation from the inner heart and can be a simple everyday gesture shared with oneself as well as with another. To allow our love to flow unhindered, all that is necessary is for us to deal with and let go of our hurts.

  15. I can see what the big deal is about this act of handing over a spoon (although it shouldn’t be). There is so much disconnection and self-interest in the world that this act stands out as being extraordinary. Often we are so caught up in our own stuff that we can’t see what’s going on around us or feel what is needed next. The passing of the spoon is a moment of grace and flow, where things are as they as are intended to be – with order, connection and harmony. These moments are to be deeply appreciated.

  16. A simple movement and act of love is so powerful for the receiver as well as the giver. The example you have shared with us E is just that, a simple act of love which we can choose to give and receive in every moment.

  17. There is so much individualism that something small like passing a spoon stands out. Observing the Benhayon family has changed the way I see supporting another, truly feeling where another is at and supporting with what is needed at that time… no more and no less.

  18. There are so many pictures that get in the way of truly supporting others, so many ways we think it needs to be when in fact these have nothing to do with supporting others.

  19. As you say love is “so simple and ordinary’ and forever present, but in general, we as human beings have not come to understand this truth. We have complicated it, put conditions on it, demanded it and then wondered why it is so very elusive, whereas all that is needed is for us is to be it; be love.

  20. One of the most tainted and abused words, falsely expressed by so many, it is gorgeous to see it expressed in its truth as a normal and everyday act… for that is what is possible in every action should we let go of polluting everything we do with all that is not from our true essence.

  21. Love is a quality expressed from the inner heart and is a joyful and uplifting experience both for the giver and receiver.

  22. I cannot see a way we can love another more than we love ourselves. We can think we can because we want it to be the case, but we can’t because we wont know how tender, caring and kind it is possible to be. When we feel on ourselves what those things feel like we can then share it at a whole different way. Try it and see, then it becomes a physical experience and not a mental construct.

  23. I have learnt that love isn’t an end point or goal it is a moveable and ever growing feast that needs attending to and nurturing that includes our relationship with ourselves and with others.

  24. Hello E, let me share with you a simple loving gesture, I hardly use my office desk now preferring instead to use the kitchen table to work so that I can look out onto the garden. But when I submit my expenses I need to go to the office desk to use the scanner. My daughter had been staying with me for a few days and she had left a little note there and it was waiting for me to find it. This loving gesture touched my heart deeply just a simple few lines but the love that she holds for me is unquestionable. Which shows me that we leave behind an energy that is either healing or harming we cannot see it but we can definitely feel it. And it was /is a huge lesson for me because then I have to take responsibility for the way I am as I go about my day, what energy am I in healing or harming. Imagine if we were all to re-awaken our awareness to energy and how it flows what a different world we would live in.

  25. True love is the essence of who we are and as such it is an expression that comes from deep within our heart and extends out to all others in all that we do. There is no measure to love but we do tend to fall by placing a measure on it; loving one person more than another, expecting accolades in return, placing conditions on it (“I’ll only love you if ….you love me in return… do this for me, etc. etc.) and by this we pollute our otherwise godly expression and reduce it down to a merely trickle of what is truly on offer if we just stay true to who we are.

  26. The consistency of love in the body (love from within) changes everything, the way we care for ourselves, and the way we are with others.

  27. I love, love it so awesome and what we all long for and already are. Love can be very firm and Truth is an expression of love so it can often say things we might not want to hear if we are not being truthfull. There is no good or nice in Love and zero emotion. It holds all as equal and is who we all are at essence which is why we all know what is not love.

  28. As the old saying goes, ‘It is the little things that make the world go round’. How amazing the world would be if all the ‘little things’ had the quality of love?

    1. Yes Linda, and this takes me to the question: Why do we use to complicate something that is essentially simple? Why do we avoid to surrender? In my experience, when I surrender to love, truth is transparently revealed. But sometimes I only want the feeling that love brings to me, avoiding the truth that comes with it. When I try to negotiate and separate what is naturally united, I get lost and I lose what I was looking for. This is why honesty is always the bridge to come back to me, to come back to the love that I am.

  29. Having your own stuff sorted so that you can get yourself out of the way is a powerful and wise lesson E, thank you.

  30. Our perceptions about self-care and it’s true value have been seriously distorted by the belief that to self-care is to be self-ish. This is a consciousness that circulates and is well entrenched, particularly in the current older generations, which the younger ones have unfortunately taken on board also. It is imperative that we break it down and restore a true relationship with ourselves, one that places our own wellbeing at the top of the list, in order to then take care of others with that same quality.

  31. Love is in the detail – it is all those little things that make up the whole. When we pay attention to the detail, everything else takes care of itself.

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