One day at work I noticed my colleague handing a spoon to a gentleman he used to work with. The gentleman had just made the comment that he wanted to eat his yoghurt whilst grabbing it from another room, and from that my colleague handed him the spoon without the required “Can I have one please?”
Right now you’re probably like… “So, what’s the big deal?” And really, there is no big deal, it was just beautiful to register the act, and it got me thinking about love and the loving gestures we show one another. He was so natural with it, and it was clear to see that it is a normal part of how we can be with each other – caring for each other.
For me, this was a clear example of how love can be shown and displayed in the most simple of ways that are truly caring. Most of the time love is displayed by grand gestures or special moments – buying expensive things and making a big fuss over anniversaries, birthdays etc. Sort of like it’s a part-time gig, not an everyday commitment. Though, love is an everyday thing, you can’t turn it on or off, it can’t be revved up for the bedroom or even contained to repeating the words “I love you”.
It’s not too often that I see two people spending valuable time together, doing things with each other lovingly, paying attention to detail with each other and simply being with each other. When I picture a couple I see a man sitting on the couch watching TV and the woman off doing what needs to be done to keep up appearances (I think I need to update my mental picture library… maybe just throw it away altogether.)
Thanks to the inspiration of Universal Medicine though, what I have learnt and have come to cherish about love is that it is so simple and ordinary.
It’s in the everyday things we do with another: like saying hello, walking through the door, a gentle touch as we pass, or handing over a spoon. It’s truly caring for another person, feeling what is needed for them and doing it. Sharing yourself and how you feel without reservation in whatever way you deem fit.
I have learnt that it requires no selfishness and the ability to get yourself out of the way; not to disregard yourself and put others first, but have your own stuff sorted and cared for first. For some this may be the basics – food, eat, sleep – for others this may be something else. When you do have your own stuff sorted you have the space to be able to be with someone in a truly loving and caring way.
You can’t love another until you love yourself after all. I used to hate this saying, but it makes sense, as if you don’t even know what love is for yourself, how can you offer it to another?
by E, Brisbane