We’re All Married to Everyone

Have you ever noticed how couples who have broken up often continue to behave and fight the way they did while married? Even for years or decades after separating or divorcing?

The same could be said for siblings, friends, teachers, students, workmates and business contacts who come into conflict and part company because of it. Or even public figures like politicians and celebrities who we choose to dislike for whatever reason. Sometimes the participants (even the unwitting ones) in these conflicted relationships who have moved apart may not even communicate directly at all, but the hostility, jealousy, frustration, judgment, etc., goes on and on within each person… like a festering splinter…

The issues don’t go away, no matter what we imagine our relationships to now be or not be. We can split up, run away, cut the other person out, speak badly of them ‘forever’, but until the issues are cleared and healed, they will go on affecting the current life and relationships of each person.

Eventually the only answer is for the two people to come to understand and accept each other, allowing each other to be whom and where they are. The love they once shared can transform into a truer, greater love that can go on even if they seldom or never see or communicate with each other.

Is it possible that what’s revealed by looking at this two-person relationship example, when you extend it to all the relationships we have throughout our entire lives, is that in effect we are all ‘married’ to everyone else?

They say “six degrees of separation”, meaning everyone in the world knows everyone through only six people, but this is merely referring to the temporal, physical connections between people, like knowing them personally. However, if we factor in the recent discoveries of modern science (which increasingly accords with what Ancient Wisdom has known for millennia), we are in fact all connected whether we know each other personally or not.

Each human body has many trillions of cells that must be connected physically (directly and indirectly) and energetically, cooperating in harmony for that human body to exist and function correctly. When they don’t, we can end up with cancer and other illnesses and diseases. Similarly, each human body is one of 7 billion cells in the body of a greater organism, Humanity.

And just like the cells in our bodies, we as cells in that greater body of Humanity have the job of connecting and cooperating so that the whole can function. We are in an absolute sense, married to everyone!

Could it be that many of our relationships, not just marriages, are more about comfort and convenience than committing to quality and responsibility in loving, truthful interaction? If so, might this be why the difficulties go on between some couples even after separating? The marriage and the divorce are only points along the way in a relationship that goes on infinitely longer than those socially recognised points. The same could be said for many other types of relationships.

What do you think the world would be like if we understood ourselves as equally responsible parts of a whole and began to re-define the way we relate to others? If we took on board the ‘married to everyone’ principle and made all our relationships – be they with family, friends, partners or work colleagues – equally precious and worth the effort at all stages along the way?

Inspired by the Benhayon family who constantly offer the reflection of commitment to quality in relationship.

By Dianne Trussell

Related Reading:
How we Start Relationships
Relationships – A Never Ending Journey
Expressing Love to All, Equally So

1,561 thoughts on “We’re All Married to Everyone

    1. That’s a great point Eduardo, but we are under the illusion that those issues will go away with that person, but experience has shown us that we find another with similar issues, and equally, so our own issues come to the surface to be dealt with. Perfect really, it just shows there is no point in avoiding the reflections we give to each other.

  1. We are all the same on the inside and no one is in fact closer to us than anyone else is – we might try to make it so by subscribing to bloodlines, ancestry and family bonds but they are but outer structures that we erect for apparent security and familiarity.

  2. In truth we are all “equally responsible parts of the whole” if we choose not to be , we would need to work harder as when meet another as an equal there is a familiarity and flow to everyting we do.

  3. “And just like the cells in our bodies, we as cells in that greater body of Humanity have the job of connecting and cooperating so that the whole can function.” This is a beautiful understanding and sharing that we are all a part of a greater all that calls us to live in harmony with all.

  4. What I am aware of is that all my relationships are the same, as in what I bring to one person will be there between me and another equally so. As such when I shift in my relationship with my partner for example, deepening our love the connection between me and my work colleagues for example shifts as well. We can’t love one person and not others, everyone gets the same treatment when it comes to energetic quality even if the actions may differ.

  5. The notion of blood family and blood relations, ‘blood being thicker than water’, are perfect constructs to keep us in the false belief that there are certain people in this world – a very very small number – that we can express love towards, while the rest of humanity are not really a part of our ‘sphere’. How very wrong and deluded we make ourselves in believing such a thing….

  6. The wisdom of the Ageless Teachings removes all barriers to thinking we are separate, or better, or worse than one another. What could be more foundational than that when considering our relationships.

  7. We communicate with each other so much more than we realise yet rarely do we stop and take note of what is going on between us, we get caught in the surface level interactions when there is so much more at play.

  8. Yes the hurts don’t go away just because we stop seeing someone, yet we have a tendency to ‘get on with life’ without realising that nothing has really changed. Unfortunately if we don’t deal with the hurts we carry them to our next relationship (and all our relationships)…

  9. ‘What do you think the world would be like if we understood ourselves as equally responsible parts of a whole and began to re-define the way we relate to others?’ That would be something worth committing to and would change everything. A world where brotherhood is a priority.

  10. “What do you think the world would be like if we understood ourselves as equally responsible parts of a whole and began to re-define the way we relate to others?” as others have shared this quote stands out to me, its super powerful in the fact it turns on its head everything we know about society, life and brings us to working together as one.

  11. When I first read the title to this article I thought, ‘what?’. After reading it I support and appreciate what has been said and how true it is. The connection we have with everything is resoundingly there and yet we can choose to live within this connection in such away that you can say it’s not true. It may sound like I am twisting this around but I am speaking from how my life is gone and to the fact that all along I could sense that something wasn’t right but I went on anyway, the same way. Even after relationship and relationship a similar pattern emerged that made me go from it was them to it was me to I don’t know what it is and why, why, why is it happening to me. Only when I honoured more the feelings that were already there do I start to make sense of what had been happening all along. Allowing ourselves to see all that this connection is and brings is one of the parts of making sense of all that we are feeling.

  12. So true Dianne, many leave relationships in reaction and blame only to find they are in another relationship reflecting the same issues and at times this can even be worse. To address our hurts and begin to let them go is key to transforming our relationships and making them more true.

  13. The idea that we can reserve hate for one person is a strange concept. What we fail to realise is that no matter what attention we give someone, be it positive or negative, it is not that different. They are still getting something out of the relationship. Would it not be easier to have understanding for all? Even your perceived enemies? I play along at times with pretending I don’t like people but it really is just energy, underneath all of it, we are all the same essence.

  14. I can learn to live in this way, I am married and it is a commitment to the relationship’s evolution, there is no reason it should be any different for any other relationship.

  15. What you present here Dianna makes so much sense. When I take your example from the cells in the human body that from not working in harmony together illness and disease is created, so to I can observe illness and disease in our societies by the way we are living together in all the atrocities, like wars, murder, cyber crime, (cyber) bullying, corruption and greed to name some, that take place and in truth are disruptive in our evolution back to Soul, the true essence of our being which will be restored when we all will live in harmony with one another again.

  16. I love that idea that we are an intrinsic part of a larger 7bn body called Humanity. Were we to truly live in accord with this, then we would choose to be more harmonious and interconnected, equally responsible for the whole and our part in it. This should catch on – after all, it’s seeing life simply in fractal form. One human body makes up one Humanity body. Genius.

  17. “Is it possible that what’s revealed by looking at this two-person relationship example, when you extend it to all the relationships we have throughout our entire lives, is that in effect we are all ‘married’ to everyone else?” a great point as in effect I now understand or at least start to understand how we are in relationship with everyone else in the world, all the time, therefore whilst we may have closer relationships with a few people the quality we have to be in relationship with everyone should be the same.

  18. Just to know that we are all connected energetically all of the time, and the phone and the internet are just temporal versions of our connection would offer us a greater understanding of why we often feel something long before it is expressed, and why we have a feeling when someone is sick or not quite right. If we were to honour those initial feelings and not brush them aside or override them we would begin to realise there is so much more to life than the temporal physical world we live in at present.

  19. That is why I always was running away from getting married. To get married I have to feel that I marry with everybody and so does my partner. If that is not there there is no use for a marriage, then it is more a contract of comfort, fulfilling each others needs. Marriage is the confirmation of two people who built love together in honoring for the whole word to feel that love they built together, no one left out.

  20. I have noticed the more I let go of protection and allow myself to feel the connection that we all can live there is an opportunity to feel how connected we all are.

  21. I love this: ‘And just like the cells in our bodies, we as cells in that greater body of Humanity have the job of connecting and cooperating so that the whole can function.’ We know this is the case for great teamwork to get a job over the line. If there is disharmony and aggravation this does affect the end-result.
    Humanity itself has a huuuuuge project – to return back to the love it is and comes from. Which it – we – will do very very easily when we realise we are all in this together. One humanity, one brotherhood, one family.

  22. This really exposes how we the humans are behaving like cancerous cells in the gigantic body of Universe in the way we have been carrying on. And it is amazing how our own each physical body keeps showing us the mechanics of how different components have their own unique way, doing whatever they are to do, and together generate and maintain a form of life. We are unfathomably magnificent.

  23. This is so awesome to feel Diane, that we are all connected as one. This makes me wonder how crazy is it that we tend to think we are all separate and not connected, and look where this way of thinking as got us collectively?

  24. The quality of our relationships makes up a huge part of the quality of our life, and I agree if we put our commitment and dedication into making every relationship amazing our life would flourish. I can’t help but feel there’s so much to gain, learn and cherish from really giving our relationships everything, and so much to miss out on by not.

  25. A very wise woman posed a question to me a while ago ‘what if I was to be with every-one the same as I would be with God’. … mmm…. Haven’t quite got there yet but it deeply inspired me to see every-one as God and to treat them equally.

    1. Wow, Mary-Louise, I love what you shared too. This is something I haven’t yet embraced and I too am inspired to start, and from this there is an opportunity for every relationship to be totally divine.

  26. ‘commitment to quality in relationship.’ This of course starts with ourselves and as we develop that relationship all others follow suit. A deep honouring is required.If I were to truly deeply honour myself what would that look like? How would I dress what would i eat and drink? How would I answer my e:mails and my phone? How would I be in life?

  27. Without the others we cannot evolve. Relationships reflect everything in our lives- it does start with the one with ourselves. When do we treat ourselves less? Only then you can treat someone else lesser than another.

  28. Makes absolutes sense to me. Are we harmonious cells in the body of humanity, or are we ignoring the whole we are innately part of and ploughing our own individual path creating disharmony? What a great question.

    1. Yes, a great question indeed Richard. When I look at the current state of our world, I can see that humanity is very much living in separation and in disharmony. And, this question you’ve raised is definitely needed to start the conversation and bring more awareness to what is currently happening to humanity as a whole.

  29. Is it possible that when we are in a relationship, we are also in relationship with the whole of humanity? I am beginning to understand the quality and depth of my relationships impacts on the rest of humanity. This just brings a whole new level of responsibility and how I am with others in all my relationships.

  30. What if we take every person’s behavior which disturbs us as a reflection to look into what that is in us.
    What if we deepen that relationship with ourselves and accept all people as beautiful masters on our way in return.

  31. Your blog reminds me that no relationship ever really begins or ends. We are all in relationship with everyone all the time. This is amazing to me as there have been many times when I’ve missed someone in my life or mourned a relationship when it was ‘over’ all while I continued to be in relationship (albeit a different expression of it). If I’m in relationship with everyone then every relationship stems from my relationship with me.

    1. Awesome Leonne, this is a beautiful and expansive way to understand relationships. I now understand that we are constantly in relationship with ourselves and with everyone on this planet. Even though we may not be physically with everyone but energetically we can’t escape the fact that we are always in relationship with the whole of humanity, with the universe and with God.

  32. To understand our choices and process of living life we need to constantly deepen our connection to the divine. For we are divine, and when we connect we can not help but feel that. It is the love that we are missing and hence the lacking ingredient in our current lives, where if connected to so much more is understood and truly felt and known.

  33. And even when we cut off or seperate from another we think that we are leaving them behind but in truth we are merely burying it but the tension is still in our bodies and even if we don’t see them it is with us in everything until it is healed.

  34. At the basis of every disharmony in a relationship or even after a relationship is ‘severed’, it is our own issues that need to be exposed and healed to deepen the relationship with ourselves first and foremost and then bring this fullness to every other relationship. Work in progress!

  35. This is a great way to look at humanity and our responsibility in relationships. That until things are truly cleared, we continue to carry the imprint of tension. Thank you Dianne for sharing this and bringing a greater understanding of relationships.

  36. Yes true, even if we divorce someone but don’t deal with the issues that where there we are still in the dynamic of the relationship and it is affecting us even if we don’t see the person.

  37. Love it Diane, what you are sharing is something like what Plato said and that was our children should be raised by another family so we would learn to get on with everyone not just those within our family. We would become one-unified-universal-family!

  38. This is a great reminder, that regardless of the fact someone may no longer be physically in our lives, if we do not deal with any ‘issues’ we may have had with that person they will continue to affect both of our lives and beyond. Such a deep healing is avaialbe to everyone when we are willing to let go of our hurts.

  39. Whether we accept it or not everyone and everything in this universe is connected. It would serve us all greatly if we were to accept this fact.

  40. “And just like the cells in our bodies, we as cells in that greater body of Humanity have the job of connecting and cooperating so that the whole can function. We are in an absolute sense, married to everyone!” This makes so much sense, we still see ourselves as individuals doing our own thing when in fact we are here to learn to work together harmoniously in everything we do.

  41. That is true. Sometimes the fights after the breakup can be humongous as there can be years or decades of accumulated frustration or anger and the one who got their way in the past may be at the receiving end of much of it.

  42. Until we see the reflection from someone who is aware of, and living as part of a far greater and grander way of life, in alignment with the rhythms and cycles of the Universe, it is impossible to be aware of ourselves as multidimensional beings and that everything affects everything energetically worldwide. Re-wakening to this consciousness is key to human beings living together as if married to everyone.

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