Have you ever noticed how couples who have broken up often continue to behave and fight the way they did while married? Even for years or decades after separating or divorcing?
The same could be said for siblings, friends, teachers, students, workmates and business contacts who come into conflict and part company because of it. Or even public figures like politicians and celebrities who we choose to dislike for whatever reason. Sometimes the participants (even the unwitting ones) in these conflicted relationships who have moved apart may not even communicate directly at all, but the hostility, jealousy, frustration, judgment, etc., goes on and on within each person… like a festering splinter…
The issues don’t go away, no matter what we imagine our relationships to now be or not be. We can split up, run away, cut the other person out, speak badly of them ‘forever’, but until the issues are cleared and healed, they will go on affecting the current life and relationships of each person.
Eventually the only answer is for the two people to come to understand and accept each other, allowing each other to be whom and where they are. The love they once shared can transform into a truer, greater love that can go on even if they seldom or never see or communicate with each other.
Is it possible that what’s revealed by looking at this two-person relationship example, when you extend it to all the relationships we have throughout our entire lives, is that in effect we are all ‘married’ to everyone else?
They say “six degrees of separation”, meaning everyone in the world knows everyone through only six people, but this is merely referring to the temporal, physical connections between people, like knowing them personally. However, if we factor in the recent discoveries of modern science (which increasingly accords with what Ancient Wisdom has known for millennia), we are in fact all connected whether we know each other personally or not.
Each human body has many trillions of cells that must be connected physically (directly and indirectly) and energetically, cooperating in harmony for that human body to exist and function correctly. When they don’t, we can end up with cancer and other illnesses and diseases. Similarly, each human body is one of 7 billion cells in the body of a greater organism, Humanity.
And just like the cells in our bodies, we as cells in that greater body of Humanity have the job of connecting and cooperating so that the whole can function. We are in an absolute sense, married to everyone!
Could it be that many of our relationships, not just marriages, are more about comfort and convenience than committing to quality and responsibility in loving, truthful interaction? If so, might this be why the difficulties go on between some couples even after separating? The marriage and the divorce are only points along the way in a relationship that goes on infinitely longer than those socially recognised points. The same could be said for many other types of relationships.
What do you think the world would be like if we understood ourselves as equally responsible parts of a whole and began to re-define the way we relate to others? If we took on board the ‘married to everyone’ principle and made all our relationships – be they with family, friends, partners or work colleagues – equally precious and worth the effort at all stages along the way?
Inspired by the Benhayon family who constantly offer the reflection of commitment to quality in relationship.
By Dianne Trussell