The other morning I woke up feeling very vulnerable – I was tearful, head-achy and I felt fragile and sensitive to anything that was being said to me. The smallest comment would bring me to tears.
The night before I had attended an Esoteric Yoga session and the presenter did say that we may feel quite vulnerable in the first two weeks. I really did not believe her as I was feeling pretty good at the session, but here I am now – feeling vulnerable.
I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” as I have done many times in the past: but today I decided to allow this vulnerability to be there and to deeply feel it.
I became aware of the many behaviours I could have gone into to reduce this vulnerability, to bury it back down again, and I felt pretty stunned with all the ways I had been doing this, until now:
- Eating often and really wanting sweet things and nuts
- Looking for distractions – making an excuse to go to the supermarket even though it could wait
- Taking the dog for a walk when someone else could do this
- Denying that anything is wrong when asked by my family and not asking for any support or help
- Snapping and reacting to comments that family members innocently make
- Turning the radio on to listen to the news in the car rather than just being with me
- Itching to go out somewhere – the idea of shopping felt good
- Busying myself with housework which I felt just had to get done
- Feeling like I am a “martyr” having to do all these things and indulging in this
- Choosing to write an assignment for my study that could wait as it was not due in for another week.
What a list! And all this to stop me from feeling my vulnerability, and because I was overriding what I felt, all the hurts would get buried in my body again.
I pondered on the things I could do instead; things that would support me and help me to explore what is underneath my vulnerability.
I could:
- Stop and just feel, to spend time with me
- Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body
- Share with my family how I am truly feeling and delegate the housework tasks
- Listen to one of the many supportive recordings from Universal Medicine
- Read some excerpts from the Purple Books, written by Serge Benhayon
- Meditate and come back to the Gentle Breath
- Dress in clothes which make me feel gorgeous and feminine
- Spend time on my hair and makeup
- Have an Esoteric Healing Session
- Take myself for a gentle walk
- Write a blog!
Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?
What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.
When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.
I appreciate the continual support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and from Jeanette Macdonald (my Esoteric Practitioner), who always inspire me to be all that I am every day and to accept that my vulnerability is an essential part of being me.
By Anne Hishon, a delicious woman, partner, mother, Registered Nurse, New Zealand
Related Reading:
Vulnerability: Opening the way for Healthier Relationships
A Vulnerable Moment
Vulnerability is ‘In’
Words on Serge Benhayon 
Anne what you have shared is very interesting as I have just spent a weekend with like minded people exploring the possibilities of love what it truly means and how we can avoid it and thereby stunt our evolution back to the universe. When I got home I wanted to go out for a walk as I felt unsettled but instead just stayed with the unsettlement in my body. This showed me I wanted to distract myself by going for a walk to stop myself from feeling the gift that had been on offer the entire weekend. The offer to love ourselves deeply because we actually deserve it and by loving ourselves we naturally love others it has a snowball affect.
A few weeks ago due to something that happened I felt very vulnerable and fragile and I choose to just be with this, not go into thoughts, not go into reactions and not to go into what ifs but to know that I am loved, held and even though I felt I was in the unknown it was to trust, stay with me (be present in my body) and know things would unfold. This was a great lesson for me and I stayed with this feeling at work, at home and anywhere I was. Something I appreciated then and also now. It showed me that this is actually easy to do and when I allowed myself to just be I was also more allowing, open and loving with others.
I recently was quite exhausted and unwell and I felt a discomfort around it, I couldn’t put my finger on what was needed, it was like I had this block in me and then I realised what I was feeling was quite vulnerable, once I surrendered to it I felt much better, I just allowed myself to be in it and for the vulnerability to be there and understand why I felt that way. It was kind of a revelation because I’ve never pinpointed feeling vulnerable so exactly, even though I’d say it’s often there. I’m now actually looking forward to exploring it more. Great topic Anne, thank you.
So much can be learnt from listening to our bodies, and thus re-imprinting how we can parent ourselves, and deepens our relationship[p with those things that are true in our lives.
This is such s great conversation, vulnerability has such a bad rap, yet we need the support to reclaim this valuable human experience and begin to remain open to ourselves, and love and support how sensitive we are. It’s been great to read this again today and take another look at how I’m truly feeling and if I’m judging feeling vulnerable and trying to avoid it.
giving a whole different meaning to ‘being vulnerable’ ❤️ in other words be open to what we are feeling, allow ourselves to feel this and listen to what is needed to support ourselves in these moments ✨ Being vulnerable is accepting and appreciating our sensitivity.
And thus being open and letting people in, or in other words, being intimate with others as intimacy and appreciation go hand in hand.
Sometimes we may not like what we are feeling, but what I find is that allowing myself space to really feel whatever is going on is the quickest way out, and it often brings about an amazing healing and insight that is just priceless.
Allowing our sensitivities as you have shared Anne, allows us to deeply heal, so we can set a deeper platform of Love that allows us to deepen into this relationship we are having with Love or our Soul-full-essences or True purpose through our connection.
Vulnerability for me was being weak. It took a while to experience that being vulnerable meant to except my feelings and not to deny it. That was a very powerful revelation for me.
Anne I can so relate to what you are saying, the other morning I woke up feeling very vulnerable and teary. It’s lovely to come back to this part of me and know that I’m at last dropping the guard of protection I have been living with; by being afraid to show the world who I truly am. It’s not until I started to feel my vulnerability and sensitivity that I realised how closed off to life I have been.
We are all tender beyond belief and yet we’re all clanking around in suits of armour, bows and shields at the ready.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” Choosing to feel one’s feelings with complete honesty without judgment leads to the understanding of the cause of the hurts and thereby the way to resolve them.
This, jstewart51, has been a great learning for me too. To be able to look at my hurts with honesty starts the process of healing them and then we feel lighter in our bodies and more joyful because we are not carrying around all the unwanted baggage of life that we were not able to deal with at the time.
Yes, although the weighing scales may not show a difference, however, I have been quite amazed how much lighter I feel having healed unresolved hurts.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” So true Anne. When we heal our hurts we are more available for ourselves but for others too. We bring less baggage to our relationships.
Absolutely Sue, be open to others is the start of our True appreciation, which is post Joy!
At first, allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable takes some doing because we are so used to numbing it to the point of extinction but there does come a time when the numbing no longer works. As the author has pointed out it is part of our natural expression.
All too often we will find something to do that fills a space that otherwise would offer us so much in terms of our connection to what we are truly feeling. Taking these moments to just be still and feel what is there for us to feel are worth their weight in gold.
I was taught to do exactly that – keep busy – in order not to feel my feelings – at boarding school. Its taking a lifetime to override that pattern and to allow myself to stop and feel what’s there to be felt.
I very much needed to read this blog today feeling vulnerable myself. I can appreciate that my distractions are lessening and I know it’s not worth it to bury my feelings.
An easy way, or should I say hard way, to stop me from feeling vulnerable is to move in a way that is hard and abrupt, not giving myself space to truly heal.
We tend to hurt ourselves to feel invulnerable. We tend to prefer this instead of making vulnerability part of our movements.
Being committed to a programme of a healing modality can bring about all kinds of thing. It’s wonderful when we can feel the practitioner’s support throughout and we feel empowered to stay with whatever the process we might find ourselves in, and accept and embrace what is being offered to us in full.
When we are raw and vulnerable a different kind of beauty can be observed which is very exquisite.
It may at times feel uncomfortable but the preciousness I feel when I allow the vulnerability and rawness to just be is indeed exquisite.
I felt this beauty after surgery a few years ago now, but gradually I chose to allow old patterns take over again. A new year and time to continue to address this. allowing myself to feel vulnerable, especially when others are around.
I had always thought vulnerability was a weakness and I now realise that there is a great strength and power in feeling our vulnerability.
There is a huge surrender on offer when we are feeling vulnerable. So often we push through or feel that it’s consuming our life – but what if it is the stop moment offered by the body to stop, ponder and let go. Truly effortless is we allow and trust the body is supporting us.
In the same way that we respond to a vulnerable newborn child and feel to nurture and cherish them, so too when we feel our own vulnerability is a time to nurture and cherish ourselves.
So many beautiful ways to be with ourselves in our vulnerability, allowing accepting and appreciating what is there on offer to feel the truth of who we are more deeply.
Thank you Anne, for you expressing your truth and vulnerability is an example of how we can live and stand for ourselves in life that is supportive, enriching and deeply loving, to us and everyone around us. It is through our living way that we can touch the heart of mankind.
We are used to walking around in layers of protection that bloats and distorts our presence – all to stop us feeling our fragility and vulnerability which are actually our strengths.
Beautiful for its incredible to feel the love we can set our standard when we allow true support for taking care of who we are.
It is actually fundamental to allow ourselves to feel what we feel and express our feelings. And this is not just to show or share about our issues or hurts, daring to be transparent and feeling and expressing our power is what it is actually about.
“Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” Anne thank you again for this blog, another supportive read for me and an opportunity to examine my patterns of how I avoid or respond to how I feel.
Honouring how we feel is essential for us to deepen our connection to who we are, all that we are in essence. As when we allow ourselves to be open and honest with how we feel, heal and let go of our hurts, we create space for greater love to be that which moves us.
Exploring my vulnerability and taking responsibility for my feelings and my reactions, if I get through it, connects me to a deeper love in my body — vulnerability is a path to love.
Those days can be precious as we can allow ourselves those days when they come, just to feel what’s going on, rather than to ‘soldier on’ and to fight how we are feeling. Feeling vulnerable is not a bad thing at all. It’s a time when we can really let others in too.
Vulnerability is something I still go “Ahhhh” at when it comes along, I love it because I feel this opening up but I do resist it as well, because I can feel how open and transparent I am – it reminds me of being a child and my old hurts sometimes come up way and I freak out. However all said it is amazing to keep going there because I feel more amazing now then I ever have, and learning to be with the vulnerability is part of of this change in how I feel.
It’s a great comment Samantha, and I was appreciating your reminder that the reason for feeling so amazing is because of the amount of hurts we let go of, a great inspiration to stay with things and feel, heal, and let go.
Honouring and expressing how we feel is so important. I had a moment on the weekend when I really allowed myself to feel what was going on for me at the time and I just needed to cry. Once I allowed myself to do that, my whole body felt lighter and at ease again and I realised that normally I would suppress or push these feelings down and this makes me hardened and guarded with others. It is very liberating to allow ourselves to feel things and allow others to see what we are feeling.
I love that you shared this Andrew, it is so true, we need to let it out if it is there to feel and not suppress it. We so often try and be tough, both men and women, but we loose out on our sensitivity and true sweet relationships when we do this.
Beautiful, being ourselves; being vulnerable, open, truthful and inspiring is what we naturally are when we breathe in connection to who we are – truly Godly.
I appreciate having access today to all the healing ways from Universal Medicine to feel us deeply and to heal the hurts and wounds that were buried in our body for so long. Learning to be there in my vulnerable moments is a work in progress for me but so loving and profound.
I love this, how we can embrace vulnerability and how in fact if we don’t we just push those hurts we’re feeling back into the body, often deeper and we don’t address them. There is such a great understanding here that when our hurts are felt, they’re there for us to heal and if we honour and accept this we open the space to feeling so much more. So today as I feel vulnerable and hurt I can be with it without needing a distraction or a task to stop feeling, I can just be with it and feel all there is to feel.
Vulnerability, is so beautifully real, it takes us to the depths of our being where we are deeply loved and supported.
Beautiful Jill, that is very true, thank you.
And is a silent invitation for others to also go to the depths of their being.
How often do we allow ourselves to feel what is going in our bodies? Truly and deeply. Becoming friends with your body and letting it have its say, is one of the bestest things you can ever do 🙂
Thank you Anne, it’s been so supportive to read this again today. I’ve been noticing that sometimes when I’m not feeling so great I seem to resist doing what I know will support me, but I hadn’t realised that at those times I’m feeling quite vulnerable underneath the resistance, and need some extra tender loving care.
Me too Melinda, I had no idea that my distractions were a way to not feel my vulnerability and instead of trying to distract myself to actually bring a more loving and understanding focus to what is occurring rather than dismissing my feelings by using a distraction.
Thanks Mary, there can be such a sense of “wrongness” or failure to not coping, human life as it currently is seems to say “keep up appearances” and not be open, real or vulnerable at all costs. I feel what we are learning in a way is to re-parent ourselves by allowing our sensitive inner self to express how we feel freely, and be there to support ourselves with love and care as it comes up.
To allow ourselves to be vulnerable can be an incredibly uncomfortable feeling, one that I too used to run away from in a myriad of behaviours similar to yours Anne. But that was a waste of time as they were still waiting for me once I had stopped running. Having learned that feeling uncomfortable is a message that I am actually getting close to the healing that is waiting, I now don’t run – well most of the time. I simply allow myself to honestly feel all that is coming to the surface and get myself out of the way of what comes next.
I wonder if the Esoteric Yoga presenter saying you may feel vulnerable was all that was needed to give you permission to feel vulnerable, something we don’t normally allow in ourselves. It’s like having a parent who holds us and says its ok to cry, rather than telling us to pull ourselves together.
There is a point where we feel out of sorts, so we turn to the things like watching videos or eating junk food, in fact, any number of things. Then there is the next moment when we can consider what supports us and then choose – we always have a choice.
It really is a choice, whatever we choose in terms of moving with love or moving away from love, all of our next moves are then in place.
I know the tendency to want to change how I feel too especially when I feel tired, vulnerable or sore in my body. It is great that you bring this up because I always feel these feelings as ‘there is something wrong’ instead of seeing it could be just an indication of what I might have done in the day was a bit much or that something is coming up to be healed – a much gentler way to be with these feelings. Also I noticed that when I stop and feel what I am feeling, often the feeling goes away quickly, but when I am trying to eat it away or distract myself the feeling is gone for a bit but back quickly more intense than before!
You describe beautifully the many things we use to distract ourselves to not feel what we are feeling, and we have made vulnerability a bad thing, all the while being fragile and sensitive allows us to feel and see what is really going on.
When you think about it being vulnerable being a weakness is such a strange misconception as it takes a lot of strength and courage to stay open and show all that we feel even when we may feel not so great in that moment.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.”
very profound Anne, everyday we are offered an opportunity to deal with hurts or to carrying on ignoring them burying them deeper only to go out more aggressively later.
Allowing ourselves to feel our own vulnerability and then allowing others to see it, is such a blessing for everyone. So many of us go through life trying to look like we have it all sorted when in reality we are needing help but afraid to ask in case it makes us look weak (which we think is a bad thing). How amazing then if someone we know, who has been playing this game too, drops the mask and shows us their vulnerability, their fragility and asks for help. Life-changing.
I love your list of way to explore vulnerability Anne. There are so many ways we can support our evolving awareness of who we are and expand the joy innate in us all.
Hey Anne , well done honouring your vulnerability that day and you even got to write the blog! And I am very glad you did as it is a very inspiring blog.
It can be very challenging to stay with those feelings of vulnerability without resorting to the many ways Anne has mentioned that we use to numb and distract ourselves. But it is certainly worth it to allow ourselves to fully feel, as there is a strength and power in it as it provides a greater awareness of how life works and how we can heal our hurts as well.
It feels very nurturing to be able to accept ourselves unconditionally, no matter how we might be feeling, wherever we might be at.
Children respond when we allow ourselves to feel the vulnerability. Feeling hurt my youngest son stretched his arms out to give me a hug and continued throughout the day giving me hugs when he felt to. He was aware of a situation that had arisen earlier for me to feel and as I took myself off to rest it wasn’t long before he came to check on me to see if I was ok. When we allow our vulnerability to be felt and seen and welcome love into our lives the support is there and sometimes in ways that we would least expect.
Vulnerability is a part of being real, however we are not really encouraged to be real at all. It starts with the simple things like being asked “How are you?”, and saying “I’m fine” when we are not. I had a recent conversation with someone who asked me how I was so I talked about some health issues, these weren’t negatives as I am doing really well but I noticed how switched off the person was when the conversation had something in it that was real, and didn’t tick the box of a picture of life. I don’t find it a surprise that we can’t be real with ourselves, not being real or our true selves wherever we are in life is very pervasive.
We are inundated with the opportunities to bury our feelings, to smother, cover, squash, bury the way we feel… So to actually make the choice to stay and feel is extraordinary.
We have patterns of dealing with our vulnerabilities and our hurts, they are tried and tested and yet they take us further away from our delicate, delicious, strong and discerning self which leaves us more vulnerable to being hurt than ever! How illogical is our logic?!
Feeling vulnerable tends to be an emotion we’ll avoid at all costs to protect ourselves from unresolved hurts we’ve harboured often for considerable periods. When we do allow ourselves to go there and to feel that vulnerability, it offers us deeper insight and understanding into what’s behind the desire to protect and it’s in this understanding that we can begin to reconfigure the past and heal the hurts.
I’m finding that in those moments of feeling raw and vulnerable, our bodies are calling us to deepen. To deepen in the love we have for ourselves so that this becomes our true protection as it were – and not the guards we so often carry.
Yes when we let ourselves feel vulnerable we gain a deeper intimacy with ourselves and also often with others too.
That’s a beautiful way to express vulnerability Katerina, as a call from our body to be more loving with ourselves and attend to how we are truly feeling.
Vulnerability has often been seen as a weakness, but honouring our vulnerability is key to deepening the relationship with ourselves and feeling the power that this brings.
Anne this is such a strong and foundational piece for life. I appreciated this line today “Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” It’s a great question, there are many ways to explore how we feel and support ourselves to stay with the vulnerability – thank you for the inspiration.
I work with a gorgeous woman who doesn’t hold back her vulnerability. When she expresses from there and stays with it, I have to feel everything. And I mean everything. There is nothing that does not get exposed when someone is steady in their vulnerability – what a power it is.
When I don’t make what I feel ‘wrong’ but simply observe, I allow a flow. I give myself permission to be exactly where I am, and then from there my next decision is not difficult or tainted with self-judgement.
Its in our movements that we can choose the space to expand and feel who we are and see how any movement during our day can nurture our being to be a wellbeing.
Recently I felt vulnerable and I clocked that I thought something was wrong with me whenever I felt this way. It’s still a work in progress but there is definitely much more surrender now to vulnerability instead of fighting it.
I reckon that would be common Nikki, and also feeling embarrassed, ashamed, or that it is weak, etc, instead of allowing the vulnerability to simply be there and explore it as a natural part of ourselves and life.
Sometimes I have mixed up feeling vulnerable and feeling flat. Feeling flat has a heaviness to it and the thoughts that go with it can be quite self depricating, feeling vulnerable opens you up to more connection and allows you the space to notice how you feel and honour this more- there is a lightness to it.
Vulnerability is not the weakness we have made it out to be, but an offering from the body to pay attention to how we are feeling, and honour that in our own way.
What these vulnerable moments show us is how very sensitive we are and that it is ok to be that perceptive, that is actually who we are. We are very delicate beings.
absolutely Esther, all the distractions are for us to not acknowledge out sensitivity whereas this can be our greatest strength.
A great sharing Anne thank you, When I allow my self to feel my vulnerability I have a sense of feeling into the depth of the true and real me where supporting myself with tender loving care is my natural way, it opens me up to a deeper sensitivity also to those around me.
Being vulnerable makes us accessible which is a rare quality in our current world. Most of us live in a way that makes us ‘off limits’ even to those that we are in supposed ‘close’ relationships with.
A beautiful realisation that feeling our vulnerability is a strength and a choice to be aware of what we put in the way of knowing who we are.
We have been conditioned to manage life very well in order to avoid feeling vulnerable, which is the very thing if embraced that will allow us the opportunity to develop our sensitivity which is our greatest asset in order to live life observing and not absorbing what is around us.
Vulnerability is something I very rarely allow myself to feel, so I know very clearly the ways to avoid it that Anne has shared. I can however sense that there is a depth of strength and steadiness lying inside, and it is underneath a layer of holding, allowing my self to feel my vulnerability, I know it is the way to access, and claim this deeper steadiness.
This is a great example of how each moment brings us a choice to what we say yes to. Although we keep going in any scenario, what we say yes to has a clear impact in our body and present and future movements.
I see the vulnerability as a strength also, it allows us to feel our true sensitivity and all that surrounds us on a deeper level. I am finding this brings a greater appreciation and understanding of others and all of life.
It is lovely you felt to share this Anne, as there is something in it for everyone. Vulnerability asks us to go deeper with ourselves and that is beautiful to feel and very empowering.
When we choose not to bury our feelings but instead truly honour them then we are giving ourselves some of the greatest medicine possible.
Yes and this simple yet powerful medicine comes with steps – clocking we are having a feeling is a step that requires a relationship with the body and awareness. It is well worth dating ourselves again to build this level of relationship which is – as you so rightly point out ‘the greatest medicine possible’.
Feeling vulnerable allows for a stop moment but because we interpret it as something negative and bothersome, we easily and habitually override it and go into a doing mode of some kind – anything to not feel vulnerable.
That’s the thing there are so many ways to avoid ourselves and we’ve become very good at doing so, indeed we excel at it, but where in fact does it get us and is it worth it? Have spent a lot of time doing so I’d say no, and I know when I just stop, let myself be and just be honest about how I feel and what is going on, there is a freedom and a space I feel, and I am far from any stress or distraction I feel.
I can relate to this a lot. In fact just this morning and the last few days I’ve been feeling vulnerable and the thoughts of wanting to escape it have been very much in my face. I find this happens right before some big changes are about to occur, as if my whole body is in preparation mode and hence the discomfort and wanting to crawl into a hole and hide. Simply being aware of it helps take the edge off, because I’m then reminded that changes are never a bad thing, they just require some adjusting.
To feel vulnerable is an opportunity to surrender to the support we are offered by God. To feel the support that is offered way beyond what we can physically see and yet there is a physical outplay of that support in our physical bodies.
The body is constantly communicating with us. Being honest with how I am feeling and what it is sharing is the first step back to healing the body and coming back to me. The body also confirms where I am at by the delicacy felt in the body especially in my arms and the warmth radiating from my heart.
I spent many years showing my confidence outwardly but never any sign of vulnerability because it was always classed as a weakness, through Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I have found that to not show your vulnerability is to not be honest or true to ourselves, and when I learnt that vulnerability was actually a strength it changed everything, because to feel vulnerable means we are listening to our body.
There are always distractions placed for us, but are they worth it? Me thinks not when one looks at what is possible in this life of ours.
When we remove our guards and allow ourselves to feel vulnerable we think we are defenseless and are going to get hurt, but the truth is we are able to feel everything as it is without any filter, imperfections and all.
And to do that is the greatest form of protection possible.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” So true Anne – and our hurts can build up inside us and erupt at a later date. Expressing how we feel at the time is very important – even writing a diary if we feel we can’t talk with anyone at the time.
There are many things we can do to support us when we feel hurt. Calling a friend or expressing how I feel to another is also one activity that supports me. I used to find it difficult to phone as I would much rather share with a family member but this is beginning to change as I learn to discern what truly supports me in that particular moment.
A very timely blog for me Anne, I have been super vulnerable the last few days. Just as you have shared my usual tendency is to distract and check out from all I am feeling. I’ve noticed I have an expectation that I should always be ‘on’, things like being clear, all seeing, not emotional the list goes on. This time round in my vulnerable state I have tried to observe myself and renounce old patterns of distraction. Seeing that distractions are not a true way to heal and knowing I have a choice in every moment to chose the healing path instead of the path of distraction which is the path of creation.
We often see vulnerability as a weakness, and therefore either hide it, or we just don’t let ourselves go there yet when we truly feel that vulnerability it can be a strength because it lets us feel what’s really going on, and exposes a great deal to us, that needs to be re-imprinted.
Vulnerability is the new black.
We are so used to going into our known patterns that we do not even question them. What you show us here is that it is possible to go, or rather feel, beyond these patterns and that there is something beautiful to explore.
Why do I need to go into the avoidance of my feelings when I have so much support in my life to accept them? When first having sessions with Universal Medicine practitioners I used to believe that the session room was the only safe place to be vulnerable and fragile. But reading this today that ability to feel safe and be fragile isn’t in a room but in how I am with myself. Thats pretty cool.
Thank you Anne, I appreciated your words about vulnerability actually supporting us to return to ourselves and to heal, as opposed to it feeling like something we need to resist or cover up.
when one has spent their life hardening themselves to the world of feelings, then vulnerability is an essential first step towards reclaiming one’s sensitivity.
Ooooh, I know this one well Anne. Busying myself so that I don’t have a moment to spare to remember that I have a body that is attached to my head and that within that body there is a gentleness and vulnerability that at times feels easily hurt by what is going on around me. So the tactic is to cram as much on my plate as possible to make sure I have no time to feel any of it. It doesn’t end well!!
I love to read this awesome blog again and re-read all the ways we try and not feel vulnerable, and yet as you stated which really resonated with me today; ‘ is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me’. This is just gold.
I used to feel vulnerability was my greatest weakness I am now embracing my vulnerability as a great strength and how this acceptance of myself allows me to nurture and support this beautiful quality in others.
Why are we so afraid of being vulnerable? For me I felt to show my vulnerability I will just get crushed, that was my old belief. Thankfully that old belief no longer holds true in my body. When I allow myself to feel vulnerable is when I feel the most delicate, tender and raw and in this space so much grace can flow through me which always supports my next movements.
Yes, feeling vulnerable is an unsettling feeling that we rarely allow ourselves to just be with. Yet the growth that comes from allowing it has blown me away, it is a great healing and means more awareness about the situations that might have made us feel like we couldn’t cope but find we actually can with much more confidence than we thought.
What you have expressed here Anne is a great inspiration, thank you;
“What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me”.
With vulnerability comes a tremendous level of openness, it is exquisite in fact and absolutely natural.. moments of vulnerability not only remind us of who we are, but also show us how much we have conditioned ourselves to harden and live life in protection. In such moments there is much to learn from one’s body.
So many of us are guilty of turning to our own version of the former list to run, hide or bury what surfaces that makes us feel uncomfortable but we often forget what rises is a gift offered to support us to address what is there for us to clear, leaving more space for us to be ourselves, free of the imposts we have taken on in life. It is deeply honouring to go to the resources we have that will support us in those moments to feel and heal what is there.
Vulnerability is a state we often run from as it implies weakness. Alternately we can see it as a message from our body to deepen our care and love of self.
So beautiful to read this morning Anne, exactly what I needed to read, as I am experiencing me looking for distractions this week I do now recognize what I was avoiding and that is to go deeper and accept to live that vulnerability deep within and to not rum away from that but instead to live it and to give it a well deserved place in my every day living.
I appreciate reading this today. I know that burying my feelings doesn’t work and when I do stop and feel them it takes moments to clear and leave my body. Compared to the days/weeks it takes to clear out everything I bring into my body to squash the feelings (foods, anxiety and raciness etc.) honouring my vulnerability does feel simpler these days and this blog was great to come back to and appreciate this fact.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” When we accept everything about ourselves including our vulnerable moments which are part of our expression, we allow the space in our body to reconnect to who we are.
To me, and many of us I would guess, the word vulnerability has always had connotations of weakness, a feeling that life is just way too hard and you simply don’t want to know the feelings that are bubbling under the surface; we will do anything to keep them from bubbling any further. But as I feel you discovered Anne, to do so is very harmful to our health and well-being and that by allowing ourselves to acknowledge our vulnerability we are opening a doorway to healing whatever lies behind this most natural of feelings.
I like feeling vulnerability, it can be scary at times, but I feel far more real, honest, in my body and humbled by this not putting on a front that everything is okay or I am somewhere I am not.
Vulnerability is a sign that our fortifications have been dismantled and without a shield of armour, we are left to feel all there is to feel and not be scared by it. The world is in great need of the love we each are and now is the time to open ourselves back up and share the essence of who we are with the world and not retreat from our expression of this love.
Denying my fragility and vulnerability has been an ingrained pattern to not feel my hurts and thus overriding and not honouring my feelings. This has truly hurt my body, it became hard and also a lot of frustration was there (to be felt). By being honest about how I feel, I honour my sensitive body and I can let go what is not supporting me in truth.
I have found then when I deny my fragility and vulnerability I go into a hardness or fight mode. It feels far healthier to admit to feeling delicate and fragile than anything else… I am however discovering the strength in delicacy and vulnerability as from here I can get more honest and open.
There are so many points that are being shared here Anne that are a great tool box for others to refer to. It is so interesting to note how we all have our own versions that we turn to when fragility or vulnerability are becoming a focal point in our day. It does leave room to ponder on how we can get up tight over a period of time to feel this way when the body offers us so much healing in the process. I know that when I have felt this way and honoured this, it has felt very uncomfortable. The willingness to just let it be and not let the famous override button take over to take back supposed control has made the long term healing that more powerful and a great foundation to return to. Thank you for writing about much needed topic for discussion for all.
I was really inspired by a colleague yesterday who was sharing how vulnerable they felt about a situation. They didn’t bury what they were feeling but expressed it in full and the thoughts they were having. This allowed them the space to not go down with the thoughts but to stay open to what they were feeling and ask for support- it was very beautiful.
Beautiful Anne, sharing your vulnerability now, is making me feel the vulnerability inside me and how often indeed I have pushed that aside, not paying attention to what I was feeling and so needing.. But when I read this, I start to feel how all of that was my choice, and that this vulnerability is still me (Inside me) and that i can allow it all out, and as you say: allow, accept and appreciate all I am, all I got and all that I bring.. Beautiful inspiration!
To be vulnerable always had a feeling of being weak when the idea was to be strong, and just get on with life, this is all a denial of who we are at these times where if we allow it we can feel the delicate sensitivity that is a very real part of us.
Allowing ourselves the space to stop and feel our vulnerability and all that may be coming up in our bodies also offers us a new movement and a change in our old patterns of distraction. These opportunities shows us that there is another way to be and to choose things that not only support our healing but enable us to grow and learn constantly.
The list of things we do to not feel could go on, for mile upon mile. The more I consider what you have offered Anne, the more I can see we have a lifestyle all geared around a kind of permanent distraction from reality. This makes me wonder, just how powerful is it when we let life be just ‘as it is’, surrender and accept the feeling we have. To be honest this is something I have rarely tried, but now having read your words, I am truly inspired.
Allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable at first can be quite scary and something we are not well practiced at because we are taught to suck it up and get on with it, without getting the opportunity to express how we truly feel about a situation. Unfortunately we operate from the other end of the spectrum whereby it is seen as being weak to be vulnerable.
The more that I allow myself to be vulnerable the more I relish it. Being vulnerable for me now feels like I’m immersed in Me.
It’s amazing how we can move away from our true feelings by just moving our body, taking a drink, having something to eat or whatever. The beauty is it takes the same movement towards ourselves to allow our true feelings space, allowing them rather than blocking them out. Our true feelings may have us feel vulnerable especially because we are not used to this way of responding. When we allow these feelings it is a gesture towards ourselves to deepen the holding and care that we have for ourselves so our self worth and esteem grow as we value what is really going on for us. This allows trust in ourselves to grow and an appreciation too as we allow a greater honesty and intimacy with ourselves. Others feel this too and often respond with an openness which is surprising and delightful at the same time.
From very small we are taught to get on with it, soldier on and put on a brave face. We become so good at this by the time we are adults that we can actually fool ourselves (especially by being distracted or numb to what we actually feel). It seems scary to be vulnerable but it actually feels lovely to be honest that that is how you feel and to realise how aware and sensitive you are.
Anne thank you for sharing, as I look back at how many times I have got myself busy so I don’t stop to feel how vulnerable I am feeling, this was an old pattern of mine. Now I am more aware and so I will do things that support me, listening to audios by Serge Benhayon or reading his books. Sometimes just sitting and connecting to my own breath.
I love coming back to these words of wisdom. I am feeling quite vulnerable this morning and noticed how I bring in hardness to not feel it. I am grateful that I can feel that and I realise how hardness feels quite yuckky in my body. And to think it used to be the norm. Reading this has given me an opportunity to appreciate how far I have come. Thank you (and me).
Vulnerability is a great strength – yet how this has been presented in society as anything but.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to surrender to the love we are and to open ourselves up without fear of reprisal, persecution or slight is a needed way forward for humanity. A key no less to unlock the self-made prisons we hide behind rather than openly love and let live.
It is true that many of us often avoid our vulnerability. Yet as you have exposed Anne, so much lies in that space when we allow ourselves to go there.
It is interesting to observe how we as a society have accepted the consciousness that being vulnerable is something that is bad, weak, and unwanted, and so we automatically discount this part of ourselves by overriding, numbing and shutting off what we are actually feeling. Yet in-truth this part of ourselves cannot be silenced as it part of who we are. In embracing our vulnerability, our sensitivity we are embracing more of who we naturally are and as such the great power that comes though honouring who we are, all of who we are.
Looking at your list of what you could do to support yourself – which I also recognise as my tools as well, I am so filled with appreciation how much we have been given to support ourselves and how simple it all really is, it’s just so very simply about coming back to connect with the core of who we are and there are many, many ways to do it – and it totally is our choice.
Anne vulnerability is seen as a real weakness across society yet what I feel reading your blog is how incredible the strength of vulnerability actually is, that its very much the truth of how we often feel about situations and within ourselves yet we hardly ever allow ourselves to feel and explore it. Certainly something for us to all explore and for me as I feel vulnerable today I will let myself explore this further
We often have a picture of what vulnerable looks like. It brings to mind, weakness, powerless, a walk over etc etc. What truly is vulnerability and what does it look like? Is it anything more than an openness to feel all that is there for you to feel and see. Like many things in this world once I held a picture of what something looks like this never allowed me to truly see it. Vulnerability is a strength, an all knowing and a true way for us to live and yet at times we avoid it and then some. I read this other article which also touches into and the effect is has in our relationships, http://www.unimedliving.com/relationships/building-relationships/evolving-relationships/vulnerability-opening-the-way-for-healthier-relationships.html We need to question the pictures we hold over things and in that question keep opening up to the possibility that the world isn’t run from Monday to Sunday.
There is a reservoir of Gold awaiting our return when we allow ourselves to be Vulnerable and honour our inner-most Truth.
Beautifully stated Deborah. I read this as a ‘reservoir of God’ ☺ which is also very true for such a Kingdom and all its riches lays within us and is accessible to us once we let down the walls we erected to keep us ‘safe’ but in-truth just locked us out from such glory.
I had never consciously appreciate this reservoir – and yes I read as God too! I hadn’t appreciated that support, that love, and that feeling of connection to the love we are from, till I allowed myself to stay with that feeling of vulnerability and felt the strength in it. I can see that I have only just scratched the surface and each day am open to what this feeling brings.
It is quite incredible to list and see just how many ways we have in order to bury those feelings and angsts that come up for us… This in itself offers an insight into our habits and behaviours that we can learn to recognise about ourselves.
I love the rawness of the vulnerability you describe and find it quite incredible how many ways we come up with and ruses we throw at it – and all that so we don’t feel vulnerable. It seems like the default position is to bury it as quickly as possible.
The perspective or angle of how we look and consider something will always determine what truth we choose to see.
It is interesting how we can give our feelings words which are in a sense incorrect, for example I was feeling ill and told myself I didn’t want to be pathetic, but when I shared this with another, it was pointed out to me that maybe I was feeling vulnerable, and to allow myself to feel that. To allow ourselves to feel our vulnerability is not weak, and certainly not pathetic but very honouring of one’s self.
I am finding that the more I connect and care for myself the greater the opportunities arise for me to connect and explore my relationships with others. There is a deeper intimacy that is coming through for myself and with others too. That is the magic of allowing ourselves to be exactly as we are and enjoying and learning in every moment.
The list of things to do and the list of things we do to distract and disconnect from ourselves and the world around us can often be one in the same.
Stop and feel, spend time with me; such a simple yet powerful message. Your blog Anne is a lovely reminder to stop and feel what is happening in my body, to read the messages it is conveying and to respond with love and tenderness.
Esoteric yoga brings opportunities to shift the way we are moving. It is up to us to move with our body in whatever way it may inspire to, or to move against it.
Anne, ‘vulnerability as part of our expression’, yes it is, and this is not something I’ve truly embraced or considered, I’ve see vulnerability as something to get through not embrace, so your sharing today has given me a valuable insight as to how I am and how I can embrace more of how I express.
Been having a little experiment with myself of late by stopping and feeling my vulnerability, and at first I felt quite freaked out and wanted to fall back into my usual stoic behaviour where nothing can possibly hurt me, but we all know that is just another way not to feel. What I came to feel is that there is a moment before we choose what behaviour to go into in order not to face what is coming up, where we can stop and just feel without wanting an answer.
Since knowing Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have a different understanding of the word ‘vulnerable’ I used to see it as being weak and not a good thing. However, I now know the truth that in surrendering to our vulnerability it is actually a strength and not a weakness. But even though this is something I know what I can see is how these need to be discussed and debated with others, particularly the young people I work with so this is definitely something for me to explore/work with further. Ultimately I feel it is about honouring how we are feeling instead of burying or denying it.
Allowing ourselves the space to feel vulnerable is super supportive and can be challenging at times as we are inclined to go to our default behaviours in order not to feel the discomfort that is coming up, I find the more I allow myself to feel this the more I get to know the level of sensitivity there is in my body and get to truly appreciate it in full.
Its funny – if I am teary or upset it would never occur to see myself as vulnerable. The presentation you offer here is that having a time where you don’t feel quite yourself does not make you broken, or less than, but rather offers an opportunity for inner reflection and perhaps even allowing support!
Recently I felt really vulnerable because something had come up for me to look at, I sat with the uncomfortable feeling and chose to express it to someone. When I did everything shifted and it was gone, no longer there in me. I find vulnerability is supportive in evolution.
It seems that all of these go to solutions to not feel our vulnerability only makes the tension worse, and delays what there is to be communicated by the body for our own benefit, and yet we fight it.
“What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” These words are gold Anne and so worth a repeat read – many times. How amazing to be able to acknowledge and accept our vulnerability and to be with it, instead of burying it and suffering in many other ways. Self honesty is definitely the most healing choice when it comes to feeling vulnerable.
Our vulnerability is a breath of fresh air in which to allow our lungs to fill with our true self and let all that is not of this love be expired out. By avoiding the blessing on offer during such moments we take great gulps of an air that does naught to support this process and indeed further buries the poison deep in our body.
Perfect timing! I couldn’t figure out what was going on but your list of coping mechanisms/numbing techniques spoke volumes to me. What I love about our bodies is they never abandon us, they never give up and walk away from us from there frustration that we don’t listen. They remain steady, calling us back with subtle and not so subtle indicators till we are ready to listen.
When I ignore or override how I am truly feeling it is as if I am inviting resentment and frustration into my body. This is not good for me or those around me. As you say Anne a much better option is to go with my feelings . . . being honest and accepting of just how I may be feeling at the time.
Gosh I think everyone of us could relate to that list you shared in things you caught yourself doing so as not to feel vulnerable …. so how much do we not want to feel!!!!! I used to see vulnerability as being ‘weak’ now I actually see it as being a strength as the more we surrender to who we truly are the more we can love and be love, this alone is a huge strength.
When we run away from our vulnerability we are only running away from ourselves and a chance to connect more deeply with what is true and live from the love inherent in that.
There is such a natural deep well of innate intelligence and wisdom in our bodies just waiting for the invitation to come to the surface, to be felt and expressed in all it’s glory. Yes there is a little or lot of dross in the way of hurts on the surface, just enough to try and reflect us away from truly re-connecting back to us. However if we lovingly stay with the vulnerability and similar feelings we will release the hurts, sadness and emotional pulls that try and send us to distraction rather than clarity.
For Men, the art of allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable and then to be even sharing that vulnerability is quite precious, and is to be nurtured
The more we connect to ourselves the greater our ability to connect with others.
‘Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?’ That is a great question Anne. Why do we go to such lengths to avoid feeling vulnerable? Is it because there is actually great strength in vulnerability?
I love the way you set all else aside and allowed the vulnerability to just be there Anne. That takes more than a little courage and commitment.
When I feel vulnerable and allow myself to honour it, I find that it is very natural part of deepening my connection to myself and others. When I surrender to however I am feeling this experience becomes more and more graceful rather than the struggle and fight I have also experienced which comes when I resist the natural pull to let go and go deeper.
Such a powerful message for me here Anne, thank you for presenting it;
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense”.
However uneasy it may feel, allowing to feel that vulnerability offers the opportunity to heal and evolve.
It is interesting that when we hold an infant in our arms and feel the vulnerability we are tender and nurturing of this precious being but we learn not to hold our own precious being with the same tender nurturing. The choice is always there for us to feel the beauty and preciousness of our own vulnerability.
Very interesting to read this blog again and discover that I may have changed lanes but I am still running on the same ‘avoiding feeling vunerable’ track. Big note to self – surrender, surrender, surrender!
That’s a great point about what happens when we bury our hurts to get on with the day…we lose the opportunity to heal it, and so up it comes down the track again. There are so many things to clear from our bodies that where we can, it would be great to embrace the process.
I have had a week of feeling vulnerable and fragile but for most of it keeping myself busy with chores and tasks to not feel it, but after talking with a friend and realising that there was so much to appreciate even feeling this and I started then to feel what was there. Resisting or burying only exhausts the body and keeps it locked in for longer. For me, listening to my body and following what it feels to do has been an enormous support during this time.
A very poignant question Anne; “Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?”
Indeed why do I? Slowly but steadily I am learning to acknowledge, feel, appreciate and accept my vulnerabilities, what a blessing.
It has taken a while and still a work in progress, but the more I allow myself to feel vulnerable and fragile and not fight it or manage it the more I can truly value my sensitivity and tenderness as a man.
What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me. Anne, this Is something I am slowly surrendering into more and more, and sometimes it is harder than others as my head too takes me into thinking of all sorts of distractions. But when I have allowed myself to just be with whatever I’m feeling, it’s such an amazing feeling in my body and it’s like your getting to know a part of you that has been speaking to you for some time but you made yourself too distracted to hear it.
How often do we feel vulnerable and /or not so well in the morning but push it aside to start our day? It is what we have learned to do, that everything, like starting our day and get it done and over with, is more important than tending and listening to what is next for us. And this might be sometimes just a few moments longer laying with oneself in bed or sitting on the edge of the bed before I put my feet on the ground so I can start my day with the me in full instead of half-heartedly rolling into the day.
I should also mention — the emotionality is us simply freaking out and resisting what our bodies are so lovingly communicating to us.
True Katerina, our emotions are simply a reaction to what we are feeling, a suppression. The key is to stay with what we can feel, what is coming up to be addressed and not to dive headfirst into any emotion that may arise in order to hijack this deeply healing experience.
Absolutely – our many ways to deviate and avoid the Truth on offer and to delay deepening our lived Love
There is enormous grace and power in the allowance of the vulnerability when it arises. And in those uneasy moments when we feel ourselves irritated, distracted, teary and emotional, it’s such an opportunity to deepen our relationship with ourselves. Our body is lovingly communicating, asking us to deepen and feel more of the exquisiteness we are.
Beautifully expressed Anne, there are many way to avoid feeling vulnerable as you have so lovingly pointed out. Embracing and allowing all our feelings to just be supports us to let go of unwanted behaviours or patterns, feeling vulnerable is not a sign of weakness at all, rather it has a power and strength to it that is deeply healing in many ways.
I have come to understand that vulnerability is not something to cower from, hide or prevent.
There is strength in being vulnerable, in being totally open, transparent and all-feeling.
The key word is feeling no doubt and it extends further than the word vulnerability. The feelings of tiredness, exhausted, vulnerable or frustrated are all calls from the body to come back to its natural state that is far from what we are feeling at the present moment. A reminder of the incredible work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine in bringing this understanding that for so long has been buried or stubbornly ignored.
Our first reaction to feeling vulnerable is usually to push it away so we can ‘get on with life’. It’s funny that we think that we can’t be in life and feel this way. We didn’t have any problem with it as kids, able to feel sad or vulnerable in one moment, then joyfully playing the next. It seems we learn to have a lot of self-judgment around feeling this way.
Sometimes I wonder if we need to hear that we have permission from others to feel vulnerable. To go from feeling ‘pretty good’ to vulnerable overnight suggests the vulnerability was always sitting there, waiting to be expressed. By speaking about it, the yoga simply brought awareness to a feeling that was already there.
So much to ponder on and live as I expand my Livingness as a exposed, vulnerable and tender man, who has many lessons to learn in this life.
Great point Mary, as I read this I feel the truth of how the smallest thing can disconnect me! Even more powerful than my movements is the energy I align to before the movement is made. So the question arose in me how power-full is the energy I align to before it delivers my movements?
Love what you have written here Adam… I’m sitting here feeling vulnerable this morning and rather than avoid it or close myself up to it, I find myself embracing it and all that it can show me.
I can over ride the feeling of vulnerability, because I want to get something done, or not feel what is coming up for me. However when I have allowed it to be what it is, I always feel this expansion in my body and a gorgeous delicateness and openness to life, love and others.
Vulnerability is not a state of being to be discounted, for if we can get used to feeling vulnerable it stops us going into the hardened state of being that we might instead choose to get us through life. And you may say – what is wrong with that? It works…but does it? Show me a person hardened to life and I will show you someone frustrated, angry, bitter, short, and tough. And whilst they may appear to be immune to being hurt, they are equally immune to feeling the love of the world. And I for one would rather be so delicate as to feel the discomfort of a paper cut and be open to the magnificence of love in all its glory than be immune to a bullet but yet feel nothing else as a result.
Reading this, I’m struck by how often I look for the exit rather than just allowing myself to feel vulnerable. Even though I know there is nothing more precious or gorgeous than that sensitive inner most of mine… when I feel it deeply and how at odds the choices I am making are.
I can relate to feeling like this and I can say I have done all the things in the first list to avoid feeling that vulnerability….especially the one where you snap at everyone that comes near you! HA!! so funny how sensitive we are and the BAM – take that innocent bystander!
I used to feel quite irritated when I felt more sensitive than usual, I saw it as a weakness. These days I am more practiced at allowing myself the time and space I need to be more gentle with myself. One thing that stood out on your list, was dressing in clothes that make you feel gorgeous…This is something I could play with, as I often relate comfortable ‘bummy’ clothes to times of feeling vulnerable…but on reflection, I feel that that might sometimes be an invitation to hide or feel down on myself when in truth there is nothing to feel down about.
Most people, if not all in my experience are deeply sensitive, even though there may be a reaction to feeling so much. Allowing a stop, and re connection to the body can expose what is underneath the reaction.
It is only when I have been more present with myself and given myself space that I can allow myself to feel any vulnerability that may be present, as otherwise, my head is constantly trying to tell me I need to be doing something, otherwise the day/time is wasted.
An addiction is always a reaction against what we are feeling but choose not to feel. Choosing to be aware of what we are feeling and what we do to try to override that which we are feeling is a great step forward.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ I always tried to hide my vulnerability feeling it as a weakness, something I needed to overcome. Now it just like you say it is helping me finding my way back to me and it is for me to learn and accept how tender and fragile I am and how this is a strength in ourselves.
Gorgeous to read this and feel all the ways we are choosing to override our vulnerability. While it is an asset to feel this deeply and appreciate our deep sensitivity.
The eating often and really wanting sweet things and nuts, is a biggie for me when I am feeling very tender, very vulnerable and very with myself and is something I am becoming so much more of. And lets face it, food is always such a quick and accessible way to numb what we are feeling especially when it has been our long time habit…..
I am so pleased you chose the latter suggestions Anne, to stop and feel you, and write a blog, otherwise the support of your words for others to consider doing the same would not be there! I have put up a ‘big front’ pretending I was okay for a while now, many lifetimes (probably), but as you say, unless we allow ourselves to feel and accept our vulnerabilities then we will continue to distract ourselves from our true feelings and not evolve through them.
Anne – thank you for this gorgeous reminder that it is ok to feel vulnerable and fragile and that some days are just like that. I had a day yesterday when I was feeling rather flat – and instead of trying to shake it off and just soldier on, I let myself just accept that I was feeling a little flat, and this made me realise the number of expectations I had placed upon myself and because I was not achieving them I was then left to feel ‘flat’ – what a great way to realise that some days I may not be as productive than others, but that is OK, and I am not lesser for a reduced productivity! Not long after this, I felt myself feeling much more myself and most importantly just appreciating myself on all levels.
Anne your blog is a precious reminder that vulnerability is an opportunity to deeply allow ourselves to feel what is there to be felt, and there are many tools we can use to support us to go deeper at these times. I now embrace these moments, whereas once I would have used food and activity to override my fragility.
It is beautiful to come back to this sharing Anne. Our society is heavily invested in the consciousness that vulnerability is a sign of weakness, that this is something we do not want to feel, or more to the point admit to feeling. Yet anytime we shut ourselves down to feeling what our bodies are relaying to us, we miss out big time on opportunity to deepen our connection to and relationship with the eternal love we are. Our bodies are Divinely designed to embody love and as such guide us to heal, let go of that which is not love, and evolve back to living the majesty that we naturally are in essence.
Thank you Anne, I always love reading this. Feeling vulnerable is the bridge to feeling stillness and sacredness inside my body.
Thank you Anne for writing such simple truth about everyday life and the choices we make. Lets go for it, and lets be honest , so we can let go of pain and feel who we are instead.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” What I have been closely monitoring is the ways I have been burying how I am truly feeling is by numbing my body with food, food that has sugar, carbohydrates in some form, so it makes me tired and not feel. Its been so unreal how I have been going for these foods, when really food is not important to me and I can easily go without food all day.
Men especially are targeted very early in life with the paradigms that vulnerability is not acceptable… And from what we are reading it feels like that this is across all the genders… It is essential and of course liberating, to feel, understand and experience what happens when we do allow ourselves to feel vulnerable, and the reconnection that is possible when we do let go this deeply.
What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me. We have so much support to help us find ourselves, and I have discovered that self support, that is when we take care of our own needs, so much more support becomes available.
“Denying that anything is wrong when asked by my family and not asking for any support or help.” I can relate to this Anne and how guarded and hard I feel in my body because I’m not able yet to allow myself to be raw, open, and fragile around others. This is when I am at my most defensive and protected, which really only adds to the pain I feel.
Totally agree with you Anne and it shows that we quite often go around with a tenseness in our bodies that we are not actually aware of.
I am just feeling rather fragile and vulnerable this morning and it is as a result of having had a session with an esoteric practitioner recently. It’s like at night I dream all the things that are coming up to be cleared, leaving me feeling like I have been reliving those situations again. I clearly appreciate this is the opportunity to clear past hurts and claim my full authority in my body, and choose clearly the quality I express and move in. Your blog is a guide in supporting my return, thank you Anne.
‘When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.’ Well said Anne. And it makes me realise how many opportunities we are given and pass up on. I can also see how I can collude with others sometimes by going along with what they are saying or be influenced by their words and then lose sight of my own inner feeling and knowing. Deferring to another person in this way can be a form of abdicating true responsibility and not being in life in full.
I can relate to this, “Eating often and really wanting sweet things and nuts” for me it is to take me away from stillness.
‘I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” Was it actually your body telling you this? Or your head?
It’s actually okay to feel me.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable allows us to really start to feel what is true and what is not true not only in our daily lives but in the world around us.
I am remembered once again just how simple the choice is to reconnect to ourselves, our bodies, our inner hearts, our truth.. No matter what the situation there are always ways to support living such a connection.
Reading this is a great reminder to sit and feel what it is that’s bothering us, instead of eating or distracting ourselves into not feeling. As I was reading this I could feel that I have been deeply hurt by the way people around me are treating each other and how this effects us all, even when we try to pretend otherwise.
I love this sentence – ‘When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.’ this is such a great way to look at it, if we’re feeling something unpleasant or that we’d rather not be feeling it’s an opportunity to address it and never experience it again.
Vulnerability is commonly and mistakenly thought of as a weakness when it is in fact a great opportunity to stop and feel what is below the surface.
‘Stop and just feel, to spend time with me’ this is, when called for, one of the most beautiful and healing things we can do for our selves, our body and other people.
Allowing vulnerability is delicious, if not always comfortable. I awoke feeling vulnerable today, and just couldn’t make myself tackle the tasks I had set myself. I am feeling nurtured at the end of the day, and have appreciated the gentleness with which i have treated myself and the absence of self critical talk.
You just inspired me to connect more deeply to my own vulnerability Anne. Knowing that it is always there just beneath the surface and that we determine the thickness of that ‘surface’ by either ignoring and burying how we feel or allowing the truth of what we feel to be there, accepting and observing it without judgement. ‘Better out than in’ as they say.
Allowing ourselves to feel what ever is going on is an honouring process. I am enjoying not criticising myself or making my feelings wrong or right, by simply observing them and acknowledging they are there. I am noting that things don’t go away because you ignore them, so better to deal with then as they arise. Allowing them to be is a great place to start.
“Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?”
Great question Anne; why indeed would we bury these true feelings when we know the harm buried feelings and emotions cause. Slowly but surely I am learning to deeply feel whatever there is to be felt without wallowing or indulging.
Supermarket shopping trends are changing dramatically where people now shop a few days a week buying smaller amounts. I wonder if this reflects the desire to have more distractions in life?
Thank you Anne. I’ve realised recently that one of my ways to stop feeling my vulnerability is to smile and lift myself up, elevate myself, just enough to over ride, and another one is to bring in a thought that will shut me off what I am about to feel. Yet staying with it and feeling the vulnerability and what’s behind it like a hurt is very honouring, empowering and deeply healing, bringing a deeper connection to myself.
In the past I too have just “Pushed on through” the feelings of vulnerability, brushing them aside to get on with my day. I can see now how this does not serve me, but only buries this issue deeper and it surfaces again down the track bigger than ever! Reading your sharing Anne reminds me to honour that vulnerability and allow myself to be with it and heal it in the moment.
Through expressing our vulnerability with others we will re-build the much needed trust between us, and return the quality of transparency as our normal way of being, which then allows us to all walk knowing who we are, and knowing that we are all the same in Love. We then will see that we all have hurts and we all want more than anything to return to live in harmony with the Love that we know and feel is naturally within us all.
Our vulnerability when embraced and explored, lights a way for us to return and deepen our connection to our Soul, through healing the hurts and the pain we hold onto which keep us from living in full the grace-full power of all that we are in essence.
It is actually very eye opening when we realise just how much protection and hardness we invest in to get through life. Not just in the big situations but even how we at times approach the everyday things to avoid feeling or sharing our vulnerability. We have been led to believe that this is a sign of weakness and expressing our sensitivities has been shunned as a weak behaviour trait in our society. We are told to toughen up, harden up, get over it and get on with it. These beliefs and pictures all serve only to keep us from connecting to, honoring and expressing the truth of who we are and what we are feeling from within. As in truth, it is in this connection where our true power lies.
It reminds me of the difficult times my husband must of gone through when as a woman in my twenties I would cover my upsets and often reply “no, nothing is wrong”. Then as I developed honesty the emotions would be worn like a proverbial heart on my sleeve. Now I opt most often for looking at what really is going on for myself and bringing greater awareness to a situation.
When we override with any one of those myriad of ways you list, we suppress what is there to be felt and learned from. It gets pushed to the side but only to wait in line to be clocked again and acted upon.
It is amazing the myriad of things we can find to stop us from feeling vulnerable, I know I could add a few extra ones to your list Anne. When I allow myself to feel vulnerable it is so real and tangible, it is actually an amazing place to be yet being vulnerable is something that I have avoided for most of my life.
I now have an appreciation for the feelings that my body presents, and that feeling of vulnerability is a sure sign I have a buried an issue or hurt and my body knows that I am open to clear and I trust the process.
I was in a situation recently where I felt to walk away, but had obligations to continue a journey with an old friend, it was really uncomfortable to feel the anger and hostility that were couched in niceness and concern. The gentle breath and staying vulnerable and observing was the way I got to hold myself, and all the time not taking on the underlying energy or absorbing it. It was a revelation for me to appreciate that I will not choose to embody anything less, staying tender and connected, I could see it for what it was.
“Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body”- This is huge and we don’t want to stop, feel and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, as we see it as a sign of weakness. But by being honest, allowing ourselves to feel fragile and expressing from here we are letting others in. Acceptance and awareness are the key factors, instead of pushing down what our body is trying to communicate with us, because we don’t want to take more responsibility for our choices.
It is interesting to observe the skills we develop in order to not be transparent and embrace our own fragility in life, accepting where we are at in our own evolution is important as it takes comparison out of the equation and also offers us the opportunity to let go and surrender to divinity.
Learning to trust myself enough to feel vulnerable has been a powerful step towards letting go of my hurts and learning to love myself deeply.
This is GOLD Anne, ‘Stop and just feel, to spend time with me’. I remember as a child I sometimes didn’t want to stop and feel because it felt all too much and this continued right up to adulthood. I also have been appreciating the times when I have allowed myself to stop and feel. It was these moments that brought much clarity, understanding a love to what was going on for me at the time. But now, I realise how supporting this is and to continue to take time to stop and feel is hugely supportive in every way.
Feeling vulnerable and being with myself is exactly what I am trying to do. There is so much I have to be getting on with, but I just cannot bring myself to it. “Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body” – this feels to be the key for me and I am going to just do that. Thank you, Anne.
‘ my vulnerability is an essential part of being me.’ so many of us have hardened to get things done and when we become aware of this habit and how it feels in the body it really is not pleasant. It feels so disrespectful to oneself. Allowing space to feel our vulnerability gives us an opening to a deeper relationship[with ourselves] and in this way we can be more for others too.
I feel that I’m quite hard on myself when I’m feeling vulnerable, as if I shouldn’t be feeling it (I’m sure the word “weak” is in there as a judgement!). The more I push away from being tender with my vulnerability, the more I snap at others and judge myself for not being ok, and then push myself to cope. Anne it is such an important conversation to have about vulnerability, thank you.
Love this – I have the same list of things I will do to stop that uncomfortable feeling yet there is so much gold in my vulnerability when I allow it – a doorway into a very gorgeous me that is always waiting to get some airtime!
Overriding our hurts and not accepting and feeling our vulnerability is so damaging to our bodies and our ourselves. Your blog powerful illustrates this Anne and I appreciate the gentle reminder.
Vulnerability is the key that unlocks us. If we go through the door then the richness of our true nature emerges.
Once we understand that so many of our activities are simply us keeping busy so as to avoid feeling what’s really happening in our inner world, we have the possibility of starting to enjoy the inner world, the doorway of which is stillness.
By whose definition and influence have we become so adept at avoiding ourselves and all that we feel? It’s a question worth asking, for in what you’ve shared Anne, rests the key to true self-knowledge, and the healing of all the parts of us that we have shut down, closed off and buried within.
Only through this can we come to live in harmony with each other. With millennia of conflict has not got us anywhere, the societal ‘shut down’ on being truly vulnerable clearly isn’t working. With Grace, we can bust the mold, all of us, and truly begin to heal…
This is a beautiful blog on acceptance, and stopping the over-ride of what we feel and the multi-faceted beings that we are.
Anne I love this question that you have asked…”Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” I feel you have asked this question not just for yourself, but for the many. I heard someone share yesterday on an experience that they had and it was lovely to feel her honesty, how she allowed herself to be vulnerable and how no-one reacted to this in a ‘negative’ way. What she brought was understanding to those around her, but at the same time she stood her ground for what was absolutely true for her. This is really inspiring me to let go of the facade that everything is ok when it really isn’t and sharing me in a way where I am deeply communicating me and what I am feeling inside, rather than what is simply going on in my head (which is never the truth anyhow).
Being vulnerable for me has been related to as something that cannot work in the everyday world, that what we are feeling is just passed by or ignored with no time to acknowledge them. But that is the very point because human life en mass has been designed that way, to ignore what we are sensitive to. Your list here Anne shows that we don’t have to keep our feelings bottled up and then go off into a corner to release them or use vices to release the pressure of holding everything inside. We can choose to honour our feelings throughout the day or wherever we are. Thank you.
A timely read, recently I had been getting into something I had been putting off. I did have warning bells that my sudden ‘inspiration’ wasn’t coming from honouring what I felt to do but was about avoiding how I was feeling about my relationship. I had fooled myself because instead of eating to numb myself I got productive however, it was still the same energy of avoiding feeling what was going on.
Having held the belief that showing sensitivity and vulnerability is seen as a weakness, is something that held me in protection and stopped me from the true power it is. When we allow this deeply sensitive aspect of ourselves to speak it allows amazing unfoldment in our relationships with self and others too. Expressing our vulnerability is a catalyst for change that I would love to see more of today.
Every time I’m feeling vulnerable now I embrace it. I let my self cry unashamedly if tears appear and I allow myself permission to go there, wherever that may be, to go to a much deeper level than I have allowed myself before, and within no time I feel the absolute power and strength from within which I have allowed to come forth as a result.
I attended a funeral yesterday and listened to a father talk about dreading the day, he wanted to honour his son and make him proud. He was burying his baby son. He stood in front of us all with his heart wide open sharing his grief and remembering the joy that his baby boy had brought to all who met him and his enormous love for his sweet little man who left too soon. In the rawness of the moment, he held nothing back, allowing himself to be completely open and vulnerable, sharing so tenderly. It was an exquisitely beautiful eulogy on the saddest of days.
Being vulnerable has such a bad wrap for the fear of being attacked and humiliated. I shared something recently on social media about vulnerability and the response was quite varied. I have to say my experience of being open and honest with how I am feeling about something has been nothing but supportive. On occasion there has been a reaction, but it’s been important to see it as just that and not get caught up in trying to change the way someone has chosen to be. For it’s their reaction and not mine. The more I am vulnerable, the more I am able to let go and let people in and it’s a not scary at all.
I have found that living in constant appreciation for everything around me and aware of the quality of my movements has made it easier not to oscillate from living in my essence every time I feel vulnerable and honour and embrace that opportunity to evolve as the true man that I am.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense”. This sentence really resonates with me Anne; slowly and steadily I am learning not to bury my true feelings. Thank you for the gentle reminder.
“Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body”. There were times I have felt I was like a fish on the end of a line fighting to get free. Struggling to get away from feeling what I was feeling. When that happens the hook gets more firmly embedded and there is no getting away and despite the many ploys tried, the hook is still there and the ever tightening line. This is the tension we feel when we don’t allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in our body. Stopping to do so is life saving I have found.
Discovering at first with gentle tentative steps that feeling vulnerable didn’t mean the sky would fall in, more and more I am welcoming and open to this when I feel it. It doesn’t mean I have to analysis and dissect it, it is simply an invitation to take care of me very lovingly and gently, being totally supportive and nurturing. Staying connected to my body and what it is truly requiring, as you offer Anne, simple acts that don’t distract. If there is something that comes clear about the vulnerable feelings awesome because I’m in an open gentleness to understand and observe, but it may just require me to simple be me feeling vulnerable.
Feeling vulnerable is so very powerful, for me the vulnerability I feel opens my heart to so many ways to support and care tenderly for my body. Each level of vulnerability calls for a deeper connection. In the deepening connection, there is always great support, it is here, I feel, that our true power comes from.
I was pondering about vulnerability on reading this blog and a few comments linking it to hurts but maybe it is the not allowing our natural vulnerability that hurts us.
It is quite interesting to ponder this word vulner-ability or the ability to be vulnerable. What would the opposite be? To be hard, closed and shut down and of course all the things you list. Seems like behaving in those not-able-to-be-vulnerable ways would actually leave us a lot more vulnerable (in the sense of likely to being hurt) than being vulnerable. Maybe we have misinterpreted this word by connecting it to being hurt?
It seems that we will do anything to override feeling vulnerable and to allow everything there is to be felt, but isn’t showing our vulnerability more honest than trying to cover up what we are feeling, and lets face it even if someone is trying their best to hide what they are feeling we still feel it. So lying to ourselves and others is actually a waste in opportunity to feel what’s really going on and to learn from it.
That is a very good question Anne, Why would I bury how I truly feel if there are so many healing ways to explore what is really going on, whether it be vulnerability or anything else like anger, sadness or even anxiousness. Burying anything in the body is never a good option.
One thing that would have stopped me in the past from allowing myself to feel and show my vulnerability was a image I held that it was a weakness to show any instability, I definitely had an image and allowing my sensitivities to be exposed wasn’t allowed. Now I see it as part of my natural expression and the depth of allowing my true feelings to be honoured and honestly shared.
Feeling vulnerable is a tender moment I allow, as with it I know there is a clearing or learning to be revealed. It’s different with the past I would slam on the brakes and go in a different direction but now I see and allow the full outplay because I know the healing is wanting to be exposed and I welcome the shift.
Yesterday I had an awesome experience – many may call it awful – but I had to give a presentation and I was feeling super sensitive. Normally I would have sorted myself out and put on a smiley face and try to pretend all was okay. Yesterday however I allowed myself the grace to accept where I was at and surrender to all that I was feeling. I ended up in tears whilst presenting, but not pathetic, sorry for myself tears, and I could still feel how I was holding everyone in my love at the same time. I didn’t push to try and speak or fill the time, and what everyone got was a very true and honest, non imposing and clear me. A reflection that we don’t always have to perform to the pictures in our heads.
This one is massive – “Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body”. We fight fight fight this one so much but it means our body has to cope with what is happening in itself AND it has to cope with the energy of fighting and resisting. It is crazy town when you think about it but it is the way many of us live. Thank God for Universal Medicine who is supporting us to return to being with our bodies and discovering how exquisite that can be – in amongst the momentums of not wanting to be in the body!
I’m in the process of allowing my vulnerability to be expressed, and by doing so, I feel my body more relaxed, alive, present. When I listen to my body I have much more clarity and I have the opportunity of going deeper. This brings to me great healing as well as strenghtening my connection to my purpose. I simply love the feeling of coming home when I feel vulnerable…
This is lovely Anne – ” …to accept that my vulnerability is an essential part of being me.” I feel we all can connect to that and work on this becoming an accepted part of us all too.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” – And not only does it not make sense, all the following hurts just get piled on top and then the original hurt is really hard to get to because we have stuffed all the other hurts over it, making the healing process a much longer journey.
And the worst thing is just like you said, all the hurts stay in the body and do not get expressed, can’t heal and when the next one comes it just compounds. What a rollercoaster…much better to stay connected, acknowledge what is being felt and express what needs expressing so issues can heal.
Your list of how to not feel your vulnerability is surely one many can relate to, I know I used to do quite a few of those things too, and sometimes when I am not quite with myself, I still can drop into one or the other of those things, mainly going for a walk in avoidance. Thankfully through the work with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine these times have become less and less.
When we have spent a life not wanting to feel what hurts us, vulnerability is a hugely important stepping stone to allowing ourselves to yet again feel all there is to feel – for to learn to feel again is to feel everything. You cannot choose what you want to feel, for that is the pathway to illusion, and this is why learning to be comfortable with feeling vulnerable is so important to reawakening one’s sensitivity.
“Denying that anything is wrong when asked by my family and not asking for any support or help.” I so can relate to this, when I use to feel vulnerable, I use to hide myself in my room and not want to talk to anymore, I felt by talking to someone they would feel I am weak. So I would often cry behind closed doors. I struggled to share my feelings with people. This changed as I started to make loving choices for myself, that allowed me to open up, be honest and express what I was feeling.
Reading this I’m feeling how I can have a more loving relationship with myself and vulnerability. As I am opening to expressing more I am noticing I’m making mistakes which would have me run back home and hide under the duvet. I can feel very exposed and I can give myself a hard time but I’m looking at how I can support myself in life and being gentler, more loving in my movements so it doesn’t feel like I’m being brought up like a soldier with no space to be.
I agree it doesn’t make sense to choose to miss an opportunity to heal the hurts that are in my body. Choosing to delay the inevitable healing of these hurts often involves situations that aren’t so graceful the more I stubbornly try to ignore them.
I was pondering on the feeling of fragility this morning. I have noticed that when I express and share more of myself and my love it leaves me feeling quite open, raw and fragile, like I have ventured into a place I am not so familiar with. And that it is about me accepting that this is who I am, more so than making it about others accepting me.
I came back to this blog again because I find the vulnerability is actually bottomless. It isn’t something we just tick off our list, it continues to evolve as we discover ways we hide it, distract from it. I found myself indulging in patterns that I thought were long gone and looking back I can see I was offered another layer that I didn’t want to see. Not because it was full of drama, just because the not feeling was more familiar. A good lesson.
When someone lives from a place that shows the world that it’s ok to be vulnerable and to be in the world open to what we feel it is deeply inspiring. When we shut off from our feelings we become lost and thats when the issues arise. Taking that stop moment to register what is going on in the body allows us to understand life rather than withdraw from it. Thank you Anne for the reminder that being with our vulnerability is a greatly supportive way to be in life.
I find when I finally do surrender and stop to feel what’s going on it’s never as overwhelming as I’ve convinced myself it will be.
I find the more I appreciate my own qualities and the reflection that I bring to others the easier it is to accept and surrender to being vulnerable, so there is no resistance going there just an embracing of the delicateness of who I am.
It’s extraordinary how being vulnerable has become a ‘bad’ thing and not something we want to experience. When we start to look after ourselves more deeply, and begin to express how we feel and communicate this to others, our honesty cannot help but bring up a feeling of vulnerability and it is within this that the strength and potential for change lies. There is a power here waiting for us to let more love and truth into the world or shrink from that responsibility and let things go on the way they have been before. There is so much giving up energy and it’s opposite, forceful energy, that to find true evolutionary choices is rare and yet they are there waiting for us all the time.
Anne your awesome blog is such an inspiration to say yes to vulnerability. “What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.”
In my experience too our sensitivity is actually really valuable and something to be aware of and pay attention to. It doesn’t mean that we are weak or sissy but in fact more aware of all that is going on in life and more open to being connected with what is really needed in any situation.
Allowing yourself to feel vulnerable can be very confronting, but its so worth it as it offers the opportunity to heal.
Delicious Anne thank you for reminding me of the many opportunities I have to heal past hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body.
Thank you Anne for writing it out so clearly, I can identify with most of the avoidance tactics. Yet when we stop and feel, how great is that, to discover a new way of being with ourselves.
I am not always so keen on feeling vulnerable, mainly because I somehow think that it will stop me from being able to do all the things I have to do in my busy days. But I realise now that vulnerability does not mean incapable, or incompetent. Nor does it mean lazy or useless. Vulnerable is a state of being as we do what needs to be done, vulnerability in itself is not something that we do.
Anne, it appears to me that almost everything you list to distract, or reduce you from feeling your vulnerability is pretty much the norm for most of the world’s population! How vulnerable they must be feeling right now to continue to numb and distract themselves from feeling themselves, when what they truly miss IS themselves in the first place. This is where Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon comes in, they reflect to the world that it is okay to feel vulnerable and accept that we are all sensitive and divinely beautiful and offers everyday, practical ways to bring us back to the connection with ourselves by being honest and making self-loving choices. Thank you Universal Medicine for being a mirror to the world, and thank you Anne for allowing your vulnerability and giving us a snapshot of how not to bury our hurts and thus delay our evolution back to who we truly are further.
I realised that I really didn’t know what ‘vulnerability’ was until I allowed myself to feel it. Much maligned and even treated as a weakness, vulnerability is actually an enormous strength that opens up a wealth of awareness and sensitivity, and helped me get much more honest about my life.
No coincidence that I stopped to read this blog today. I’m feeling very vulnerable and tears as a result of taking something on from another that was not mine to take. The reaction to doing so was filled with resentment and anger, which now I have let go of is exposing the sadness I am feeling. I was going to eat to numb what I’ve been feeling but had just said no to myself on the snacking front. This blog feels so supportive right at this moment when I feel so raw. Thank you.
Expressing your rawness and allowing another to see your vulnerability takes a certain amount of inner-strength, thank you Lucy for sharing your tender moment and well done for not snacking! I’m learning this one myself pretty quickly at the moment because once I realised just how much I was dulling my own awareness by snacking or overeating I promised myself that I would never go back, as I not only owe it to myself, I owe it to the rest of humanity, as it is through our reflection that they will return to their own awareness of themselves at a deeper level too.
Embracing how we are feeling and not burying it is good medicine.
Feeling vulnerable is so lovely and tender and precious, like a very fine, sweet smelling rose petal, interesting isn’t it that many of us shy away from our exquisiteness.
Feeling vulnerable is a pretty unique state of being. It is a bit like a fragile rose petal open to caress and to be caressed.
In order to not feel our vulnerability, we have to choose something else in each moment to take us away, as you describe Anne. However to feel it only requires one choice – surrender.
I love this title Anne ‘Feeling vulnerable, feeling me’. I know there have been many times when I have ignored my feelings only to find myself eating to completely numb myself from what I am feeling. As your blog so beautifully shares, accepting our vulnerability provides the space for healing any hurts that we may have. When I embrace this feeling I notice the power and strength that comes with this choice.
We all are capable of feeling energy at all times, so it makes sense that instead of pretending and burying what we are feeling to embrace it and allow ourselves to go there for all to see and feel. Being transparent is us saying yes to the wonders of the universe and to offer that delicate reflection to others.
I can relate to the list of distractions you have used previously and reading them now can see that many of them would be considered as ‘normal’ things to do so can easily be missed as markers to show that something’s ‘up’. As I get to know myself and behaviours more I can see why I choose what I do at times rather than just taking the time to stop and feel and be me and allow the vulnerability. Thank you Anne for these great practical markers.
Thank you Anne for a great blog, in reading all the ways you have listed, that we can use to not feel our vulnerability, it makes it very clear to me the way I avoid this feeling, when in fact this can be a time of deep nurturing and healing when we consider the support your second list offers to us, as the way to go.
A great blog to re-read Anne – thank you.
Esoteric yoga always brings such an honesty to how I’m feeling – it can either bring me to a stop and to realise I’m super tired or feeling something else, or it can confirm how amazing I’m feeling, but either way, there is no hiding, that’s one of the things I love about it.
This was a great blog for me to read this morning, as when I woke this morning and felt how I felt and how knackered I was, I choose to roll over and get a bit more sleep and not override what I was feeling. I have been working physically hard for a couple of weeks but have also let the exercise I do to support my work slip.I feel so much better for honouring how I felt instead of pushing through and sticking to my normal routine.
It’s so easy to go into old patterns of behaviour when we don’t feel great. I love your alternative list. Allowing ourselves to feel, and then forming new self loving habits are very supportive and stop us from burying what’s there to be felt and dealt with. I enjoy writing so am inspired to use the idea of writing a blog to allow me to express.
I can really relate to your list of distractions/diversions Anne and not choosing to just be with what is there to be felt. I can use the excuse that these things need to be done or go into what is there to be felt but then chop it off before I have fully felt it, convincing myself, that’s enough and time to get on with things. When I have allowed myself the space to just be with whatever is there, it’s such a lovely feeling inside my body of just letting go and being with what I am feeling with no judgement or need to change anything.
Vulnerability can certainly be scary and your list of avoidance behaviours is impressive; it takes a big turnaround to let ourselves feel it and the real strength that it actually is.
Thank you Anne. great reminder to feel my feelings rather than go for food or to the distraction of shopping!
I am discovering so many versions of vulnerability as I allow myself to feel more. It always surprises me that what we often view as vulnerability is not so at all, but still a defence against accepting what is honest and true. That seems to me to be a ultimate meaning, when we are honest and accept and express the truth of how we feel, then we expose ourselves and so make ourselves vulnerable to attack. Only then are we protecting ourselves, for there is no room in us to let any attack hurt us, so full are we of honesty and truth, there is nothing to lose as we know it all.
I have recently had an experience where I could feel that I was not allowing myself to be vulnerable around some close friends of mine – that I was holding myself back from the true intimacy of sharing that at times I felt the need for a cuddle, or a loving touch and that in admitting that it wasn’t a weakness or failure but a part of life.
Being able to truly surrender and just feel or observe what is happening in our body rather than burying it or indulging in it, can mean we allow ourselves a chance to connect with the image that is holding the emotion in place and in that surrender there is an opportunity for healing.
Your blog Anne, is another support for me in embracing my vulnerability with an open heart. Thank you.
I love coming back to this blog as it is very simple but full of wisdom, and makes sense. Everything written I can relate to, especially the burying my feelings by snacking on nuts and over eating. I have never considered being vulnerable as being a good thing, until now that is and that it does have a purpose to remind us to come back to ourselves with even more tenderness and care.
“Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” Working with young children, yesterday I was asked “are you ok?’ by one of them and easily in that moment I answered “actually I am feeling a little delicate today, thank you for asking” The reply was a simple ‘oh’. For me though it was great just to express this and not need any ‘fix it’ or solution. Thank you Anne I will ponder more on why I usually try to hide this vulnerability.
Gorgeous ways to stay connected! If we were to make a list of the things we do on a daily basis to get rid of our vulnerability, it would be… quite long, hey?
Finding my way back to me, open, vulnerable, taking down those walls I built to keep out the hurt of the world. Yet those walls kept me from me and anyone else I wanted to let in. What a paradox! Now I’m coming back, coming home, romancing myself back. All those things I imagined that I could have with another, all that longing, intimacy, warmth, all that, I can have for myself, from myself, because I am prepared to feel vulnerable. I am prepared to feel all of it to come back to me, you, all of us.
Anne I can really relate with what you are sharing regarding vulnerability. In the past if I was feeling vulnerable I would lose myself in emotions, think ‘poor me’, reach for chocolate, ice cream or alcohol, be sulky or just want to shut myself away from everyone .. and those are only some of the things! What I feel now is completely the opposite. In fact you have summed by saying ‘Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?’ Since knowing Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine my life is much more solid, steady and consistent .. I decided to get off of the crazy roller coaster I was living and so now the very few times I do feel vulnerable to the point of being teary I love myself more, stop, allow myself to feel what I am feeling, make nourishing foods for me and let it pass. Not only that I have a deeper understanding about vulnerability, it is not a ‘bad’ thing but instead just asks us to honour ourselves and the preciousness we all truly are. I am learning such a different and more loving way to live and it feels pretty good.
Perfect timing to read this blog. Vulnerability can make me run to the hills. Not so much now. Vulnerability, fragility, tenderness – these are all strengths that I am learning to open my heart and arms to. Thanks for your very lovely blog.
I love returning to this blog as it shows that vulnerability is something to embrace and to deeply cherish. It is a letting go of control and an invitation to being more open to what life presents to us. When I feel vulnerable, it is like is can feel everything so much better and more clear, because I allow myself to be more open.
“Share with my family how I am truly feeling and delegate the housework tasks” As a mother of 3 children i have spent quite a few years playing super woman, but today I can feel the absolute power of honesty in allowing my children to see my vulnerability, to talk to them openly about how i am feeling, in turn this gives them the opportunity to express how they feel and learn to honour vulnerability.
Anne its very inspiring to feel the permission you gave yourself to allow your vulnerability to be, I know i am still running with a long held belief that vulnerability is weakness and therefore just as you have expressed i will find ways to avoid it or go into self criticism and make it a reason to give up.
It is gorgeous to be reminded of the power there is in vulnerability and in staying with what it offers you rather than to run away or bury what you are feeling, so that you can truly take advantage of the healing opportunity it provides. A beautiful support back to you indeed.
It is interesting to pay attention to the way we create complication and distractions in our lives as a way to avoid vulnerability and being transparent in life, this is hard work compared to when we choose to build a foundation based on appreciation and acceptance of who we are where we can easily surrender to what is without leaving our loving nature.
When I re-read your blog today Anne, I could feel when we allow, accept and appreciate what is there to be felt in our body we get in contact with our innocence, like a child. No resistance just being in the moment, just being you.
Anne I love the fact that you have consciously clarified a whole list of supportive ways you can take care of yourself when all does not seem well. These support structures are so useful. I have found however much I tell myself that the feelings I call uncomfortable are there to support me heal and grow, the greatest make-or-break of whether I stay with it and embrace what is there to face are the support structures I have already in place.
Vulnerability is such a misunderstood idea, and this goes a long way towards bringing more understanding to it. What struck me upon re-reading this blog was to what lengths we will go to in order to avoid feeling, not just feeling vulnerable, but feeling anything. The great irony being that we cannot ever stop feeling, but we still will put a huge amount of effort to not feel things that might acknowledge that things are not quite right. Those are the most important things to feel, because in that feeling we are then able to recognise that there is a choice that can be made to make a difference in the way we live.
I am always amazed at what is waiting stored in my body for me to explore and understand and bring to life.
There is a surrender needed to be vulnerable, letting go of any expectation, defensiveness and just allowing the vulnerability to ‘be’.
So often we choose to run away from feelings such as vulnerability as if they are big ugly monsters to be avoided at all costs. Yet the truth is, we have so much support around us that when we choose to stop and connect and feel, we can surrender in the knowing we are held in love. It is so worth allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable.
Vulnerability can be such a scary monster, to be avoided at all costs when in truth it is so very close and deeply connected to our essence and our natural tenderness.
Anne, this is awesome! What a beautiful reflection your blog is for me today, I have just finished an esoteric yoga session, and the level of stillness I went to was amazing, I allowed myself to feel my gentleness and fragility, which for someone who has doggedly held on to hardness is felt as a true gift to myself. Acknowledging that we are all fragile, and that it is okay to feel vulnerable, as you have shared, is the way to heal, and I too have found that the many ways that you share to come back to our bodies do work, it is just not getting caught up in the momentum of doing and making space to allow them. I have found that more aware we become, and this comes with making these self loving choices, the more we notice the signs our body is giving us to stop and slow down, and if we ignore them, we do so at our peril, because it just shouts louder and louder until we get it, unfortunately that ‘getting it’ maybe an accident, or worse, illness and disease. And that means leaving that ‘next assignment’, until your kidneys stop hurting, I know because I’ve just done that one myself!
Sometimes I can feel the guardedness in my own or another’s voice. It’s as if we are waiting for a sign that it is ok to continue, this person is not going to hurt us and all will be well. Putting this much responsibility for our own sense of well being and worth on another person is crazy as is not being able to express how we feel, however if this is an old ingrained habit it may take a while to erase and be totally free from. Understanding this is a process and being kind and love with ourselves in the process helps us stay committed.
Anne it is beautiful to read your awareness of looking after yourself as you feel vulnerable. We all feel vulnerable at one time or another and I for sure clock it in myself. Often I will let it be felt for a few moments but rarely do I fully acknowledge it as I could. Therefore it was great to read the lists of ways you choose to support yourself, it is brilliant that there are so many ways that we can do this now and no need at all to feel lost with it.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body”- Yes, Anne – as I was reading your wonderful article which I could totally relate to, I was feeling my shoulders tightening, chest constricting and I felt really uncomfortable. But I choose to surrender to this, and was able to feel the emotion held in my body stopping me from truly appreciating and loving myself.
It feels like life is super simple, every moment we can choose to deepen the love in our lives, be more respectful, change old patterns, find a new way to do things, express more, deepen our commitment, take much more care over our lives, or we can choose the opposite, distract ourselves, eat food that’s not right, and harbour resentments and frustrations. Every choice is black and white – what kind of life do you want and what do you stand for?
So true Anne – “When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” It stays in the body and it can stay there for a long time and fester and the more things stay there the more they compound, becoming even harder to let go of. By connecting to how we truly feel and then choose wisely how we will go about what we can feel much healing can take place in such a short time…
I love your second list Anne, it shows just how much we have in our lives to support us in our vulnerability.
In today’s world we view feeling vulnerable as a liability, as a weakness that leaves us defenseless and helpless. But what if feeling our vulnerability actually opens the door to us learning to appreciate and embrace a delicateness and a tenderness from within that bridges us to a lightness of being in which our true innate sensitivity and wisdom can be lovingly expressed.
I have been feeling vulnerable today after a big Esoteric Healing session yesterday. Feeling into it, there is a sense of the vulnerability holding me and supporting me to allow what is clearing from that session to do so with an ease, no fight or resistance. It feels beautiful and even though my day hasn’t gone the way I ‘thought’ it should, my body tells me tonight that it was perfect in its unfolding.
Vulnerability can make you feel open and raw and can be somewhat scary, but in the process of staying open, over time, you end up realising that things actually can’t hurt you.
Choosing vulnerability over hardness opens us up to intimacy.
When I choose to override my vulnerability there is an initial sense of relief but it is now always followed immediately by a sadness that I have chosen to not feel and thus missed a precious opportunity to heal. Feeling this missed opportunity has been a great support in stopping my pattern of reaching for the nuts or sugar at those vulnerable times and so more and more I am valuing the exquisite strength in being vulnerable.
“Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” – this is an important question for all of us to ask Anne. On the other side of our vulnerability is a strength in knowing that, things people do can hurt, but nothing can extinguish the beauty that is there.
I agree Anne, in allowing ourselves to feel what is really being felt within there is an opportunity to not continue to bury our hurts.
I have done the excessive eating and distracting to avoid stopping and feeling the sadness that is rising up to be healed so many times I have lost count!
Feeling a loving connection with ourselves tends to bring a clearing. Love tends to expose all that does not reflect its true quality and hence brings things up for healing.
When I accept the process as an act of love, I am more willing to allow the evolution and clearing that can result from dealing with my hurts rather burying them back in my body for another day.
It is so very interesting to discover and watch the behaviours we go into to not feel our vulnerability, but in truth it is only through allowing and feeling our vulnerability that we can come to a deeper understanding and clarity in the situation that triggered the hurt, bringing a deep level of healing and awareness to ourselves.
A beautiful reminder Anne to look out for the distractions that stop us from feeling what is really going on for us – I can recognise many of the things you have listed and sometimes it can take me a while to realise that they are actually distractions. It’s such a beautiful thing to be able to stop and honour that vulnerability and bring a new level of honesty and awareness to our body.
Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability? Allowing the vulnerability to be there and not bury it down, is allowing all of us to be just as we are, that in itself shows true honesty for how we are feeling. I really enjoy writing how I feel in a nightly journal. it really brings awareness to the fine details of my day.
Feeling into the depths of our vulnerability, the truth of the situation seen without the filter and control of our own hurt becomes much clearer, a power and strength arise from what is a deeper awareness felt.
It is amazing how many ways we devise to shut the door on our vulnerability. The very door which says “this way to the inner heart, to who you truly are”.
I could really relate to what you were sharing around “I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” this is a real pressure we put on ourselves, to not allow ourselves to truly feel vulnerable. It is so ingrained in us to not stop and feel that vulnerability, to soldier on, to ‘get over it’ or ‘push through’. It is so very easy to get caught up in what we need to do, versus, stopping and feeling what is there to be felt.
So true, Reagan. We can be so focussed on the doing and not the being that we often let these beautiful opportunities of vulnerabllity slip by .
Thank you Anne, it is not always something we want to feel , that is vulnerability. It seems to me that I feel out of control, so the next step to allowing myself to feel vulnerability is to recognize that in fact it is a great learning tool, and nothing to feel embarrassed about but perfectly normal. As you say Anne, vulnerability is a strength.
Great blog Anne, I can so relate to all the ways you sum up to not feel the vulnerability that so naturally is there. It is about allowing ourself the healing that is there for us to occur, and not hold onto all the beliefs that we came to see, one poignant here is being strong and able to cope with everything. Which is such an illusion.
It is amazing how many ways we know to distract ourselves when we don’t want to feel something. I can relate to your list of distractions very well. The moment I eat something at the wrong time, I have numbed myself and I’m left with a bloated belly. To feel our body all the time and to make decisions based on our body, are really the key to evolve to the real being we are.
I agree Alexander, we are very good at running away from feeling our vulnerability and being transparent with the world when in fact embracing our fragility and vulnerability is our greatest gateway to the universe.
When we feel vulnerable we think we are weak and that we could be attacked but the truth is that in this state we are more honestly aware of ourselves and often feel our hurts more keenly – so we avoid feeling vulnerable to avoid feeling our hurts and, as you say Anne, “When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body” – allowing our vulnerability is a necessary step in healing ourselves.
Yes, Sandra we avoid feeling our hurts in so many ways but feeling our vulnerability allows us a true way to heal rather than the many ways we may dull ourselves so we do not feel at all.
Anne, reading your blog I am struck by how we can use things that generally are great for us to distract ourselves and not feel what is there to be felt. Doing housework, for example, is very good for us but if we use it to dull down our awareness and avoid what we are feeling then it is actually harming in that moment. We have to constantly respond to what is before us and not come from any pre-conceived ideas or images.
I woke up this morning after a very physically, hard on my body day’s work yesterday and I must say feeling a bit vulnerable, so reading this blog Anne was a good tonic and I shall put into practice some of the wisdom you have shared.
‘When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.’ – Anne this is so true for many of us who choose to bury how we feel and not deal with it. I was one who thought it better to hide how I felt, not be a nuisance to others, keep the peace – but actually in all of this I was not being honest with myself – so I was a master at avoiding what was going on. To now be able to talk about and express where I am at without indulging in it but simply observing, also means I am a much more foundational support for others
‘When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.’ And we start to build up the protective layers that become our own personal fortress.
Attempting to stay open and let my partner or family see me as vulnerable makes me realise i have not lived this honesty in my life in the past, a very stiff upper lip english attitude doesn’t allow for that ‘weakness’. So your blog is very pertinent for lots of people to read Anne, and it’s quite awful how I can relate to nearly every thing on your list of distractions. Focussing on the list of things to support us is the way forwards, and they truly do, thank you.
“What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” I love this line Anne because it is so true. Prior to Universal Medicine I would have never have allowed myself to feel my vulnerability…..after all it is a sign of weakness… and so I covered it up by burying it, harden to it, I would do anything other than allow myself to feel it. At first it felt uncomfortable to feel how vulnerable I actually was, but now I welcome it, it helps me understand me, and why I would react in certain ways.
And it is equally important for other people when we show how vulnerable we are and not overriding or pretending that everything is fine.
Today i realized at work that there is something wrong i didn’t feel so open and sharing with my team. Talking to my partner i realized that i felt hurt in the last team meeting by a comment of someone. I did not allow myself to feel the hurt I until I spoke with my partner. I was very open in the last team meeting and sharing what magic I had experienced and that the comment was a reaction on what I have said. The title of this blogs really is the key “feeling vulnerable-feeling me”. As long as we harden and protect we cannot feel the beauty of who we are. Only when we open up like a flower and show our graceful being we can feel who we are and we will be surprised to understand that being sensitive is not weak. With feeling vulnerable there comes a deep strength and power something you cannot find in any self development book or course but once you start feeling and look within.
This is a beautiful sharing, Janina and shows how easy it is to go into protection when we are affected by reaction. There is great strength in vulnerability.
There is great strength in vulnerability. This is so true Anne,and don’t you just love its power that lies in the grace and preciousness within that. This then brings you to fragility, every woman’s truest most delicate, abiding essence.
That is beautiful, Janina. What I am finding is that when I feel into my hurt, it used to be more like ‘let’s find the culprit’ and there was no real sense of responsibility and I often ended up with even more/deeper ‘issues’, but now it feels more like seeing where love got misplaced and simply replace it back again.
I would not have believed that sensitivity was a strength several years ago, to me it was something I had no desire to feel. Now, I love to connect to my sensitive, sweet and precious self, it’s so much fun.
Not healing our hurts certainly does not make sense. Also the list you compiled to explore what is underneath your vulnerabilities is awesome. I am inspired to develop a list to support me express my vulnerabilities, thus supporting me to evolve. Thank you Anne.
It’s brilliant to get from your blog that sensitivity is in fact a strength – something that allows us to feel exactly what’s going on.
You are right Susan – we seem to be very good at almost numbing our bodies so we do not feel what is there to feel. But all this means is that we are not living in a way that support us. We can look at the world and think it distressing that 1 in 2 get cancer, that lifestyle illness and disease are on the rise – but our true responsibility start s with simply listening – choosing not to be numb. And what have we to loose? Not much in my eyes.
Such great points you make Anne. What we do to stop ourselves from feeling is huge. And when we allow that beautiful vulnerability to be there, our sensitivity and acute awareness, life really starts to blossom.
Thanks for sharing this Anne. It is lovely to feel vulnerability as a strength and not to ignore, harden up or push through this. Like all things that we feel throughout our life, I have found that when I take the time to stop and feel the depth of these feelings and what lies beneath, there is such a healing and learning opportunity.
A timely reread for me. “…these vulnerable moments are part of my expression…they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” Allowing the vulnerability, the fragility, is all part of expressing me, therefore worthy of every moment taken to enjoy this for what it truly is.
It’s such a great blog Anne, I’ve really enjoyed my read again today, it’s very simple, honest and down to earth. I’ve also avoided vulnerability in my life, but when I allow me to truly feel what is going on inside me it actually feels pretty good because I feel reconnected to me. Most of my life I’ve struggled to hold back what feels like an avalanche of feelings, not realising I’ve cut the connection to myself by not allowing my own vulnerability.
Melinda, most people don’t realise that “I’ve cut the connection to myself by not allowing my own vulnerability.” and we create a vicious cycle, for the less connected we are, the more vulnerable we feel . . .
So very true Melinda, I can feel how much I don’t express still from my vulnerability, especially at work. Not allowing myself to express if something is too complex or challenging. I have a tendency to harden, get reactive with those around me, instead of being able to surrender, to express what is truly going on for me. So very timely reminder to allow myself to be vulnerable!
Absolutely Anne, the Livingness deepens our connection to our inner-most and what you have written in your second list brings a confirmation of the simple daily rhythms that is part of the Livingness as presented by Serge Benhayon.
Yes, Greg, I think that our daily rhythms are what really support us when we are feeling vulnerable. They bring us back to ourselves – it’s like coming back to home base!
Absolutely Anne, loving rhythms are game changers!
Thank you Anne, I can relate to the list that you mentioned of all the ways I too go into, to avoid feeling my vulnerability. I love your to do list of all the ways for healing and exploring deeply the wisdom the body is offering at that time. It simply is a choice .
This is quite revealing Jill. I have a huge list of activities that I go into whenever there is something I don’t want to feel, be that vulnerability or any other sense. I am clocking these activities now so that when I go into one of these I can assess whether there is something I am avoiding or whether the activity is true to be doing.
Lee, it’s true that we may not be doing an activity as an avoidance and it is important to clock when we are and when we aren’t.
There is a beauty in letting others see when we feeling vulnerable or even hurt and to share it with another and not simply to override or go into protection or hardness. Only when we stay open and vulnerable we can develop more intimacy in relationships.
Absolutely and so true Janina. There is nothing more beautiful than to allow ourselves to feel vulnerable especially with others. It offers a depth to life and our relationships that we might have not felt before.
I agree Lieke “It offers a depth to life and our relationships that we might have not felt before.” A depth we all long for ….
True vulnerability allows for a deeper understanding of each other and it is very powerful in learning to live a deeper level of love with each other and hence with all in life.
I totally agree, Janina. When we share our vulnerability with another the intimacy that is offered is very special and breaks down so many barriers which we have put in place over many years and lifetimes.
Yes Anne, it’s true that if one person allows themselves to feel vulnerable, other people do not feel any threat from them and can more likely open up to actually being how they are with no pretence or overriding.
Absolutely Anne, allowing our vulnerability to shine offers a great reflection and honesty in our relationships. There is much more openness too which builds a greater depth of intimacy, which is greatly needed with all of our connections.
Thanks Janina for the highlight of intimacy. I agree when vulnerability is surrendered to then the connection between people can deepen and intimacy can then be felt from our hearts. We more naturally understand each other and offer space for trust and love to unfold. This is for all relationships – all our connections with everyone.
Sharing in vulnerability is a great way to encourage true intimacy because we are not hiding anything about ourselves. By allowing ourselves to be vulnerable with others we offer a very real exchange because we are sharing the whole of ourselves and not the edited version.
I am very inspired by people who do not hold back to express their depth of tenderness and sensitivity in what ever they do and therefore inspire me to also deepen my own sensitivity and not measure it…
So true Janina. There is an honesty and truth to sharing all of this and it is first established with ourselves by not denying these feelings.
After reading all these inspiring comments i just went for a walk. Choosing the feel my whole body and honoring my tenderness with every step i take. When i returned and met my partner i was much more open and when there was some tension in the way we spoke with another I nominated it and said i feel very tender and not honored when we talk to each other like this. Then i was able to also feel him more. Beautiful to experience it supports another to be open and vulnerable…
This is so true and it offers such a beautiful appreciation of ourselves too when we feel what this vulnerabilty brings.
When we share our vulnerability with another it also gives them an opportunity to feel their own vulnerability as well.
Thank you Anne, it is lovely to come back to this blog and to feel the more I embrace my vulnerability the more I surrender to the divinity of the universe.
I’m experiencing a moment where I’ve brought in a forced stop, which is opening up my choice to feel the vulnerability that is with-in me. Re-reading this blog is very supportive to give myself permission to feel what is with-in to be felt and not push through. It is a stop to be fully appreciated.
Re-reading this blog is great as it directly relates to my own relationship with my sensitivity. I have found it amazing just how much I do to block this and yet I know I am still only scratching the surface.
Before I found Universal medicine I would be aware of having up and down times, and ways I would cope with these times, but I wouldn’t have a handle on what was really going on and I while I knew of things that would make me feel better I had no practical list like you describe Anne of things that would bring me back to a more centred state. That is the difference now, there are so many things that are there that support me to be less racy, less moody, more engaged in life and enthused to live it. That for me is the difference Universal Medicine made, simple presentations of a wisdom that I knew but had shut down to living.
Thank you Anne, your list made me feel into at least one thing that I could do to change my life so it would become more evolutionary. As I pondered on the answer it became very clear to open my heart and let all humanity in, by simply making that choice in every movement starting with my breath.
Such a beautiful sharing of vulnerability, in its simplicity and vulnerability which deepens our connection with ourselves, to be tender and caring towards ourselves, in ways that are supportive…this allows the vulnerability to transform into a loving quality.
Reading a blog about vulnerability has made me more aware of my body and where it is holding hardness – how lovely to be offered this moment to check and feel where I am at.
This blog has a simple but very significant message to convey, it plants a seed for whoever reads it to ponder further what vulnerability means and how we support ourselves to not let things fester and stagnate.
I can feel this too, Deanne. There are so many possible moments of vulnerability in our daily living but often we are quick to hide them but once the seed is planted our awareness deepens and we no longer want to hide anymore.
Yes, Anne, how lovely and powerful would it be if we were not quick to hide our vulnerability but gave ourselves and each other space to express in truth?
So some of the ways I felt to put on my list are – how I move, moving with tenderness and awareness of my body, keeping objects in order around me especially as part of my evening wind down rhythm, exercising daily, being prepared and organized so I can nourish my body with the food I need when I require it, accepting what is there to be felt rather than avoiding it.
Deanne, movement for me too is a massive way to come back to myself, especially walking and the way I touch or hold something. It begins to remind me of how delicate and tender I am, and the true qualities I naturally possess.
Your list of ways to come back to yourself made me wonder what my ways would be. Something that feels important is to have ways of being and things that I do that support my presence and quality that are a normal part of my day. I know the tremendous power of all the Universal Medicine therapies is priceless but I can’t always stop to do Esoteric Yoga or have a healing session, even in the middle of the working day it is often not possible to go out for a walk. It is worth giving space to….
Anne, my list of ways to bury has a similar flavour to yours and reading this I was aware I have not just done this for most of my life time and time again I have done this also life after life. So how grand and magnificent is love, to continually present these opportunities to return to ourselves despite constantly and insistently refusing the healing?
Vulnerability is an important and inevitable thing to feel when we have spent so long guarded and numb to what we feel. Suddenly the flood gates open on our awareness and sensitivity and it can be a little overwhelming at times, thus why we feel vulnerable. But the only reason we truly feel vulnerable, or awkward, is because we are not used to acknowledging just how much we feel, and just how sensitive we are. Eventually, as we get used to feeling more, the feeling of vulnerability passes, and we get used to feeling and embracing the true delicacy of our being.
This is exquisitely true: ‘the feeling of vulnerability passes, and we get used to feeling and embracing the true delicacy of our being.’
Nice additions to the blog, the idea that our vulnerability is not a permanent state but an adjustment to a denial we have lived, makes sense to me.
To understand vulnerability this way brings a much greater awareness to the situations in which we feel that way. To see it as part of the inevitable process of reconnecting to the absolute tender and delicate beings we are shifts the perspective away from the negative and towards the positive.
Love it “What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.“ Everything we are feeling supports us to learn and expand also “vulnerable moments“ and it is only because our society did not support us as children to be vulnerable that we harden and toughen up and push us through our lives. But this is not our natural way and as a result we have so much illness and dis-ease.
Today i came back from an Chakra Puncture session with my practioner. Through what he shared with me i focus more on feeling my heart and staying in touch to feel other people, leaving my heart open no matter if people are around me or not. I was very touched by feeling so much love in my heart and how sensitive i am feeling when i am connected to my own heart. It was new and i focused more on feeling today my body and observing and less playing roles i tend to play or wanting attention from people. Beautiful to experience that to be sensitive and not to override supports us very much in our daily activity as it enables us to feel much more what is going on within and all around.
Thank you Anne perfect to read your blog again and asked myself : “Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?“
“What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” This is beautiful for it is impossible to run away from what and how we are feeling. We can choose to bury the hurt through ignorance but the feeling is still there and will always remain in our body until the day arises when we let it go. Accepting our vulnerable moments as part of our expression brings about another piece to the jigsaw in our responsibility to accept ourselves in full. Thank you Anne for sharing.
In the past I have found it very challenging to accept my vulnerability especially when I was unwell. I didn’t want to own up to the fact that I felt fragile and tearful so I would push through pretending I was okay ending up much worse and having to rely on another for support. These days most of the time I listen and honour myself in expressing how I am feeling and I am not afraid to ask for another’s help. I am developing an awareness to speak up sooner rather than later and in doing so I am finding any illness eg. a cold subsides almost immediately and I am left with a sense of appreciation for myself.
I can relate to this, Caroline. Sometimes I still find it hard to admit that I might be “sick” or to truly nourish myself because of this. I am learning to love and appreciate this vulnerability in myself and that it is the healing that i am needing at that time.
Re-reading this blog, gave me the chance, the choice to stop and feel. it wasn’t vulnerability but there was still a ‘to do list’ running. This is such an important reminder that we can race ahead of what we feel at our own expense.
Joel, I really struggle to let my “to do” lists go and probably need to rename them “possibly might get done lists”! I can really feel the rush to get my lists completed and in doing this I am also blocking vulnerable moments.
Joel that “to do list” that you speak about is something that I certainly ran my life by, it’s easy to get caught back up in that process, as somehow we can feel in control of life by having a list. Whilst the list is not the issue, racing ahead certainly is! Thanks for the reminder.
another thing struck off the todo list 😉
Joel I’ve noticed that massively this week, if you let the rhythm of the world inside you it’s impossible to feel the depth of vulnerability and sacredness we hold inside us – and when you stop there is still that to do list, or that motion running. It’s been a massive reflection on the importance of not taking on the stresses of what needs to be done, as nothing is worth loosing the quality of life for!
Anne I love your list of nourishing things, it’s amazing how well time can be spent when we commit to living a more living life.
Yes and it shows there are ways we can support ourselves to be held in the vulnerability rather than take ourselves away from it. We still need to live the day, but it’s the quality we live the day….
I agree – there are always ways we can support ourselves in any situation, it’s simply down to the choices made day to day.
There are so many opportunities to heal old ways of being held in the body when we give our selves the grace of feeling the vulnerability that comes up. It can be a very healing moment and can pass through very simply if it isn’t resisted or shutdown (again).
I agree, Linda. I can feel the vulnerability in children but it gets quickly squashed and is not appreciated. It is no wonder that as adults we do everything to avoid feeling it. It feels so loving to be able to express my vulnerability again.
“…vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me…” it’s a big turnaround to trust that these vulnerable moments are actually there to support me but it is true, the healing from allowing this can be quite amazing this is also because I’ve allowed myself to feel a deeper part of the love that I am.
Anne I had an experience yesterday where I skipped over how I felt about something, the result I woke up feeling a tight stomach and anxious. A simple reflection on this made me appreciate that whilst I don’t need to fix every situation if I don’t allow myself to feel and clock it, then I bury it
Anne, it’s great to read your blog, this feels very supportive ‘Share with my family how I am truly feeling and delegate the housework tasks’, often I just keep going even though I maybe feeling fragile and vulnerable and wanting to simply stop and rest, I am aware that if I do keep going and not ask for help then the way I am doing housework tasks feels very bitter and resentful, when I do ask for help it feels amazing to honour myself.
Feeling our vulnerability and feeling who we truly are is a beautiful gift to our very livingness our strength and the beauty of who we are. Thank you Anne.
Learning to live embracing your sensitivity while also embracing life, and feeling every little thing that is happening is an art. But ultimately I find that embracing my sensitivity is a great strength, and allows me to simply and sweetly be who I am.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ And they bring such a real and delicious part of me.
Thank you for writing this blog, Anne. I can feel how I have suppressed my feelings and how that was generating all kinds of pent-up emotions, creating ill-behaviours in relationships. Allowing (not indulging) really feels to be the key for me.
Beautiful Fumiyo, not feeling ends up becoming brewing emotions and tensions, and controlling us in ways we may not even be aware of, to feel our vulnerability and bring light to our feelings within opens us up more and changes to a loving quality inside of us, takes us closer to our hearts. Not feeling is like fortresses around our inner heart. There is a delicacy in feeling, it is to the emotions, which come from avoiding feeling the deeper truths within us.
Anne this is a great question “Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” It is also a very practical question which takes us away from the panic or distress of feeling vulnerable which can feel overwhelming, to realising we are not alone, and help is at hand. There is always support available beginning with our most powerful supporter – ourselves.
I think for me to accept that it is okay to feel vulnerable and that it is actually healing, has allowed me to stay with my vulnerable moments rather than finding ways to escape them. We are our own best support – so true Melinda.
Thanks for all you have shared here Anne, I can relate more deeply with each read, and it feels vitally important for humanity to reconnect to and explore feeling vulnerable. These days we are not just closed to each other, we are actually closed to ourselves. When we need to express how we feel we can shut down to ourselves effectively saying “I don’t want to hear this” and when we feel scared or anxious etc we turn away from ourselves and engage in distraction in an attempt to ignore it. I know we would not do this to children, but instead we would try to be open, offer understanding, listen and care. Realising that we may not offer this same care to ourselves when we feel vulnerable and need support is a big wake up call.
So true, Melinda. What we often will do lovingly for another we do not do for ourselves. Feeling our vulnerability is such a beautiful connection to self.
“I woke up feeling very vulnerable – I was tearful, head-achy and I felt fragile and sensitive to anything that was being said to me. The smallest comment would bring me to tears.” This can allow a deep healing inside us as we allow ourselves to truly feel from our essence and the true healing can begin. Thank you for a beautiful blog .
Once upon a time I used to use any manner of things to not feel things, especially feeling vulnerable for what sort of a man would feel such things? I have learnt over the years at Universal Medicine that it’s quite all right to feel and in actual fact it is far more manly to face up to what we feel instead burying or hiding from it, especially feeling vulnerable.
I love your remark kevmchardy that it is actually manly for a guy to let himself feel what is there to be felt. I could not agree more.
A totally different way of life for men to express and to live, Kevin. The imprint that you and many other men are making now is tender, divine and so openly loving. Being around men who are so tender and vulnerable helps me to look at the areas of hardness still in my body so your reflection is healing in so many ways.
Thank you Kevin, it is truly lovely to feel what you are sharing.
Kevin yes, it’s actually manly to face up to what we feel, hurts and all, to allow our vulnerability, thank you for expressing this, it’s setting a new way for all men to express the natural tenderness they are.
It is truly gorgeous kevmchardy, to hear a man being so honest about how he’s feeling, and deeply inspiring. “…it is far more manly to face up to what we feel instead of burying or hiding from it, especially feeling vulnerable”. Thank you for allowing yourself to feel your vulnerability and sharing your own experience of it.
Agreed Kevin, as men it is a huge thing to embrace our vulnerability as we have this image that is a weakness in itself, like you I have found that the more I embrace my sensitivity and delicacy as a man the more I can let go of the hardness and protection that I have lived with and enjoy the feeling of gentleness and love in my body.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” This is so true Anne, the times when I receive the most healing is when I allow my vulnerability and sensitivity to remain instead of rushing into one of your things on your list. Pushing down and ignoring what we are feeling and not expressing this is the reason we carry our hurts for life time after lifetime. If we allow our hurts to remain at the forefront, while this can at times be uncomfortable it is far better than burying and never dealing with them, for they will always resurface again anyway.
Over the past weekI have been feeling vulnerable, tearful and sensitive. However instead of burying these feeling I have allowed myself to deeply feel this vulnerability, thus allowing true healing and learning. Thank you Anne for lovingly sharing your experiences.
I love that Anne “my vulnerability is an essential part of being me.” it is something I am learning to accept and allow.
Me too Vanessa and when I do allow it it’s as if the Universe welcomes me and I feel more open and more love.
Yes, Vanessa and Elaine – and when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable our bodies do not harden, our body particles flow more easily and the healing energy of the universe brings a greater harmony to our bodies.
Yes Elaine and Vanessa. I too am allowing myself to feel my vulnerability more and more, and the more I surrender to it, the more I realise that I have all the support that is needed. The revelation is that I am letting go of the control that I have used to protect myself, which in truth hasn’t protected me, but just made me harden and closed off from people.
It makes sense Vanessa that “my vulnerability is an essential part of being me” because it allows us to be the whole person, not the edited version.
Me too Vanessa and in the accepting and allowing I am getting to feel how childlike and sweet being vulnerable actually is. I am also noticing how others are touched by it.
This is true. Recently I dared to speak my true feelings to someone and felt very vulnerable. This person responded with such care and true concern I was bowled over and our relationship from being very rocky has become a lot steadier with a stronger foundation of love.
For me it is the same Vanessa – every day I can deepen my relationship to myself and my body. In the past I didn’t like to feel the vulnerable parts of myself, but now I can realise, that the vulnerable parts can lead me to who I truly am – love.
”When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal” Anne I felt to comment on what you raise here as it’s something I’ve ran from all my life, as a deeply sensitive man I know I feel many things. I often skip over what I feel and try and come up with a justification in my mind. Yet in what you share it shows that it’s only when we allow ourselves to honestly feel whatever it may be that we can heal. Thank you for sharing your experience of this.
That trap of justifying and ignoring what we feel is a slippery slope for anyone who relies solely on their mind to get through life, and it is one that I know well. It is just another barrier erected between other people and the immensity of what we each have to offer the world.
Beautiful David, skipping over what I have felt has left me exhausted simply because I didn’t want to see and accept the mess we are in. I too would come up with excuses to justify in the hope the tension in my body would go away but this was only making things worse. Finding ways as in Anne’s list to support me to feel is supporting me enormously.
Yes, David, skipping over what we feel and justifying why we do that, is such an accepted way for us to be. But as you so rightly say, it is only by allowing oursleves to truly feel what we are trying to avoid feeling, that we are able to heal and let go of our old hurts that so often are what hold us back from being all of who we are.
Thank you Anne Hishon, I could feel in your blog this morning how I do not allow my vulnerability and shut it out, I then end up shutting out another person because in truth I am no longer myself.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable often goes against everything that we have learned in life about how to take care of yourself. Being truly vulnerable is being completely open to the world, not knowing what necessarily comes next, not having answers prepared, not knowing how to fix anything. But allowing ourself to feel that state means that we are given the choice to accept ourselves just as we are, and in that lies true openness to others and to all that we are capable of.
Naren, you capture what it is to be vulnerable beautifully and it’s something many of us are re-acquainting ourselves with, and it’s so true the world encourages us to completely deny this and yet it’s such a key aspect of us, such a gift and one that gives the ultimate freedom of feeling us and the world and being all of who we are there; it involves letting go control and expectations and being open to the world, something I am learning to embrace a little more each day.
The expectations thing is a huge one, and is directly related to making sure we are not feeling vulnerable. They are a way to keep the world under control and to shield ourselves from the potentially hurtful world. The truth is though, that expectations are a surefire way to feel the continuous hurt of being let down on a regular basis.
Ouch Naren, I’d never truly allowed myself to see that expectations compound hurt and ensure we stayed trapped in it, rather than allowing the vulnerability which offers us freedom from hurt ultimately, the one thing we want.
It is a paradox that we choose to blind ourselves to, although it is pretty clear to see. Instead we choose to defend and justify our expectations, compounding the hurt even further with the defence of the indefensible.
I love what you write here Naren. “….allowing ourself to feel that state (of vulnerability) means that we are given the choice to accept ourselves just as we are, and in that lies true openness to others and to all that we are capable of.” And accpetance of simply being who we are is the key here, as it is only when we start behaving in ways that we ‘think’ we should and trying to fix things, rather than doing what feels true to us in that moment, that life gets complex and disharmonious.
So very true, Sandra. It is so important – and can be a real challenge – to trust in ourselves and what is before us to be the right impulse at the time it presents itself, not what we want or think should be the way things ought to be.
Anne, I love that you’ve written this blog. You highlight something key how we can so easily walk away from our vulnerabilities and in doing so miss an opportunity to heal. Our vulnerabilities offer a stop to look at how we are and maybe end an old way of being that no longer serves – an opening to another more true or real way of being us in the world, to deepen our relationship with ourselves and the world.
So true, Monica. Sometimes it feels easier to walk away and carry on with life, covering up the feelings and vulnerabilities which are being offered. I guess this is the key- feeling vulnerable is no accident but is a gift from our body and then we make our choice.
We all have learned to toughen up in a world which is not supporting to be tender and vulnerable, We have missed out as a society big time! Time to come back to our very essence we could feel as children and to learn that to be sensitive, vulnerable, tender and loving is what we are all longing for to experience because only then we open up and can experience intimacy with ourselves and others.
True Janina society has missed out big time with all of us putting on a front and protecting ourselves! Our bodies sure do show us how it is hurting us with disease at crazy high levels in all areas. It is time to return to living with our essence instead of covering it up and pretending/denying we are divine.
Yes the world misses out when we hide and try to protect our vulnerability. ‘It is time to return to living with our essence instead of covering it up and pretending/denying we are divine.’
Monica reading another blog on appreciation makes me realise that its important to appreciate my vulnerabilities.
Yes David, we cannot ever have enough appreciation.
It is not always so easy to feel vulnerable in scary situations, like when you are faced with the possibility of loosing someone that you love, it can bring up a lot of emotions that have been buried inside, and being vulnerable with these can feel insurmountable. However, once the emotions have been felt and allowed the space to clear from your body, there can follow a sense of lightness and grace and strength and durability that perhaps was not there before, even though there can also be a deeply felt vulnerability too. This shows us that the two can go hand-in-hand very simply and without too much commotion. Vulnerability and strength are like two strings of the same instrument and together they make a beautiful sound, and that sound is ultimately at the core of who you are.
Beautiful Shami, I love what you say here: ‘Vulnerability and strength are like two strings of the same instrument and together they make a beautiful sound, and that sound is ultimately at the core of who you are.’
It is so true what you are saying – to allow vulnerability gives us true strength. In this state eveything is allowed in our body, nothing is overriden and we are standing fully present with our whole being in the world.
When you have a child, you are taught how vulnerable they are, to disease, to danger, even to temperature. And this can become a point of great stress for parents. So if we are all introduced in to the world with this kind of thinking, is it any wonder that vulnerability can be seen as not only a weakness but a threat, and that it is not generally appreciated for the quality that it can bring to adult life.
That is an interesting point Shami about infants and how we are with them, it is a set up that we are all colluding with which means we protect ourselves from young to ward off danger from others and the environment, when what we need to do is stay connected and open hearted.
Yes Shami, you make an interesting point here. We often go into fear and protection worrying for the young and elderly yet if only we could see that accepting the vulnerability is part of the healing process.
This is so true Shami. I can remember how anxious I became when I had my first child, because she was so vulnerable, and I naturally wanted to do everything that I could to protect her. But as you say, a child will learn that very quickly, being vulnerable will compromise them in some way and be felt as a weakness and something to be afraid of. It is no wonder we all grow up wanting to protect ourselves from this, rather than embracing the true quality that feeling vulnerable can bring us all.
Anne your blog is very timely for me to read. Yesterday I awoke feeling raw and vulnerable, and went to work as usual, but it was super busy and I went into function mode, but was clearly not with myself. It was an awful day, I became frustrated and reactive and I came home exhausted and not willing to draw on my ‘supportive list’ at all. Thank goodness for esoteric yoga this morning, and the space of a weekend to feel what needs to be felt and heal.
It is so normal to override what we are feeling and go into drive, it is automatic for most of us. It isn’t that we need to take the day off work but rather how we are in the day staying open, vulnerable, fragile, how we move in the day that will either keep us connected or not.
Agreed Vanessa going into drive is almost a default program for most people, they are in it before they know it so bringing our awareness to deepen our connection with our bodies and appreciating the delicacy and flow of our movements is a way to break that momentum that has been running us for eons.
Hartanne60 thanks for sharing in such an honest way, this is very similar to some of my horror days! I hadn’t realised I may just be fighting allowing myself to be fragile and vulnerable. I do feel there is a level of judgment within myself to even go there because of beliefs I’ve failed by being vulnerable and not living up to some ideal of perfection. It’s interesting that I feel that success is having no issues and to be sailing along, and having feelings and being sensitive is some kind of failure. All the pictures I carry don’t even allow me to be human.
“Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” Anne the very fact we consider being vulnerable to be a weakness must play a big part in the fact that we often choose to suppress and deny our vulnerability rather than explore and appreciate it.
This is so true, David. Even though I can feel the healing in being vulnerable, at times I am aware of an urge to suppress it as somewhere deep down I have taken on the belief that to be vulnerable is a sign of weakness. Thank goodness I recognise this now and can re-imprint this very old pattern.
Vulnerability is such a key ingredient in healing. I’ve treated it like it was such a dirty word in the past but now i’m more allowing and responsive to this tenderness which always brings an internal wash through my body which feels really cleansing when I am in the flow with it.
Gorgeous Shelley – I like what you write here about tenderness being an internal wash through the body. Lovely.
I love your comment here Shelley. I too have been very dismissive of allowing myself to feel vulnerable, and for so many years have found a way to ‘cover up’ what I was truly feeling inside by outwardly appearing to be calm and in complete control of my life. But who was I trying to fool other than myself? I am now allowing myself to feel the vulnerability when it comes up to be felt rather than disregarding myself for my past choices. And the more I am able to do this, the more I can feel my own tenderness, and it is truly gorgeous to feel.
Very true Shelley – our body can’t heal, when the body is hard and contracted. Vulnerability allows the energy in our body, to flow again and our body has to chance to reconfigure itself.
Your blog made me wonder Anne, what is it about vulnerability that we do not like. To many, it is a form of weakness, of nakedness and perhaps rawness. Yet underneath all of that is a beautiful sense of openness, realness and loveliness as there is a deeper feeling of who we truly are inside us. Vulnerability is definitely a worthwhile feeling to embrace even if it is not always the most comfortable at first to accept.
I think we feel so exposed in how we have not lived Josh, that it is painful to feel the vulnerability in this. I wonder if vulnerability is a reflection of our past choices where we may have lived in a less than loving way or in total disregard. This is painful to feel and acknowledge.
Yes absolutely Anne. Vulnerability feels like the rawness of not having lived the love we innately are.
I can relate to this. This is when I feel the rawness in its natural state. A deep knowing there is more beauty and love than that which I have chosen to live. I am learning to honour and cherish this vulnerability, it is in fact a very supportive tool.
True Joshua, at times vulnerability feels very raw, we know the love so well although we have chosen to not live this for a long time. Our bodies know exactly how to heal our hurts as Anne has so beautifully described.
Absolutely it is very painful to feel and acknowledge how far we travel from who we truly are and how we act in much less loving ways than we can allow.
It’s also exposing the true person, the real self which may not meet up to all the “should’s” we carry about ourselves based on ideals and beliefs. We’ve spent so much time constructing versions of ourselves which are not true, the face we present to the world so to speak, and when the real self emerges in all its vulnerability we may not even feel comfortable with who we are or where we are at.
This makes a lot of sense Anne as I can relate to feeling vulnerable after past choices have been in disregard of myself and also the unwillingness to feel those choices. There’s a disappointment and a lack of acceptance but reminding myself that I am learning, that its okay and to let go of those choices, supports me to move on.
Absolutely Joshua. There is real beauty, openness and honesty with vulnerability. Relationships in which we are open and share this vulnerability are so powerful, and we can allow all to see this vulnerability.
I would say being truly vulnerable in our relationships is one of the keys to being truly loving in them as it allows for understanding and holding
I so appreciate this blog and comments. It is exactly where I am at in the present time, and so such a support, thank you.
Reading your blog Anne I realised I used to have only one list to operate from when I felt vulnerable – my ‘numb out’ list. It is great to take a moment and appreciate the very long ‘love to do’ list I now have and use instead.
I love the ‘love to do list’…..it feels much nicer in your body when you read it so just imagine when you actually do it!
Absolutely Sarah. In one we get a momentary ‘high’ or ‘numb out’ followed, often swiftly, by a drop, whilst the other brings an opportunity to connect to ourselves and feel that our vulnerability is in fact beautiful and well worth exploring.
This is confirming for me to read and feel Jane. To accept moments of vulnerability as moments to learn and as possibilities to let go of ‘just’ another hurt, pattern, belief and / or ideal. I sense the Grace in this and in making this step, movement I can feel the completely different relationship I would have with life. There will be much more ‘presents’ given by life, rather than having lots of fights with life or people in life. I’d love to surrender to this. And in writing this comment I can feel allready the shift. Thank you.
True Sarah, I also love the simplicity of it all and the ways I can choose to bring more awareness to my body that will allow me to feel what’s there to be felt without leaving the tenderness and delicateness within me.
Great point Floris that the vulnerability gives us the power back to ourselves and not to the hurt or pattern. With vulnerability – our true feeling – we allow ourselves a stop moment to simply feel and express, and not continue to shut down to ourselves and let the patterns run us.
Ha, yes Sarah, absolutely. I loved the list and felt inspired to do more.
I too can feel and have been more aware very recently of the list of ways to use to fight and resist my loveliness but coming back to this blog brings around again the fact that yes that list may be there but there is another way. Resistance and struggle are not the only choices available to us.
Love this Leigh ‘Resistance and struggle are not the only choices available to us.’ Both can stand out as ‘biggies’ because we know them intimately and their familiarity means they are so easy to choose. There is a much more loving choice always there waiting patiently for us to say yes to and the more we do this, the less the resistance and struggle can come in.
I’ve found that being vulnerable makes us more approachable, others respond when we drop our protection and let them in.
I can relate to this, Alexis. My son shared something about me, with me recently and I felt totally exposed and vulnerable. Deep down I could feel the healing that was possible but I could also feel the resistance in me to what he was saying. I chose to feel my vulnerability and the associated healing that comes with that.
That is lovely Anne, a real healing and very inspiring.
That is beautiful Anne, dropping our guards allows to let go more layers of that which does not belong to the love that we are.
Anne, reading your title again today ‘Feeling vulnerable-feeling me’ really sums up how I felt the other day. I was feeling so incredible vulnerable and stripped back but I was also feeling so incredibly me.
That is true Alexis, as I was reading your comment I was feeling how I am much closer to the real me when I am stripped back (as you say) and vulnerable, then when I have my walls and protection up.
So true Anna. Protection and hardness are the opposite to vulnerability. With the protection and hardness it feels like the first thing we protect ourselves from is feeling the real us – if we aren’t connected to who we really are, then no one else will be able to connect to the truth of us either.
I have noticed how I eat certain things to not feel my vulnerability. But not only to not feel my vulnerability but also my tenderness and delicateness. Eating light allows for my body to truly connect to these qualities that we all carry inside us.
I too have felt that I have eaten to not feel my vulnerability and possibly my tenderness and delicateness but I have not fully accepted this fact. I am going to take this awareness with me the next time I feel the urge to eat something I know is deliberately numbing not to feel my body.
Yes, and that is what is needed, to just bring the awareness and observe. What is supporting me at the moment is that with some friends, we are on a program where we observe our food intake and we have all committed to not eat certain foods, as in snacking. Beautiful experiment and with the support of others it is going really well. I am really breaking through lifelong patterns of dulling myself with food and even after three days now, I can feel the difference as I feel so much more, even my smell has become stronger!
After reading your comment Mariette, I feel to go deeper in my relationship with food; to take note of the food and also the quantity of food I eat during the day. Snacking is definitely something I need to look at and also at the time of day I want to do this. I am inspired to put myself on a program too!
Awesome, keep me posted, I love having the support from people around me and sharing about it. We all have our own way of snacking and our own relationship with food. What I notice now is that is am not strict anymore or that it is coming from my head. I can really feel that I am doing this program as a support for myself and that I am ready to go a level deeper. And I keep it light, I have skipped the word ‘bashing’ from the dictionary ( :
That is great to point out; the control we can go into that comes from our mind that determines the outcome of our relationship with food. I have gone into this form of control so many times. Food then becomes an unhealthy focus instead of something to enjoy… it is certainly something I am observing.
Awesome, whenever I have put myself on a program I have been keen to begin with, sometimes getting serious about it and at times seeing it as a burden. This is a great reminder for me to keep things light, to enjoy the program, accept each moment as it arises and to always remember that there’s no such thing as perfection. Thank you for your support Mariette.
No perfection, I had some tortilla chips (with some great guacamole) yesterday evening during a birthday party and hey, I was fully aware of it and I made the choice myself. No bashing and today is a brand new day!
That is how I too live my life now. I allow myself to feel the disappointment and then I make a choice to move on. Since I began the program only three days ago there have been some changes. I decided to focus on cutting out the snacking in between meals and this has had an impact on my energy levels and I feel so much lighter. I did eat some nuts last night, too many and I knew what I was doing but I’m certainly not going to be hard on myself for eating them. I am becoming much more aware of the moments where I feel to snack but by simply saying ‘No’ as I know my body doesn’t need it, it quickly passes. The evenings I have found in the past to be the most challenging part of the day so this is certainly something to work on.
Now you inspire me Caroline, so beautiful to read and to appreciate also how we all inspire each other, even though we are in different parts of the world. It just shows the importance of being out there and share ourselves. I had a dinner date last Saturday and we talked about food and he shared about his addiction for crisps. I had no reaction or judgement at all, I told him about the food program I am on and how much I am addicted to nuts and peanuts and what it does to me not having them now for 10 days. It makes me realize that we ALL have food issues…
I can relate to this Mariette. All too often I have been going to eat something when I start to feel vulnerable, delicate or tender. However I am also noticing that I do not need to eat as much as I thought I did, and it is happening without even trying. It is amazing how much more we can feel when we eat light and is really showing me how I can numb myself with food.
Me too Sandra, since some time now I have put myself on a program regarding food and I don’t eat any nuts and peanuts (was quite an addiction of mine). The changes are huge! I feel so much lighter, my bowels are very happy and I am also experiencing that I don’t need that much food and that this also has to do with my cycle. Learning every day about it.
Yes, realising that we don’t need so much food to get us through the day is an absolute revelation to me too. We can get so caught up in the habitual pattern of eating because it is ‘time to have a meal’, whereas if we simply stopped and felt if our bodies really needed food at that moment, we would soon realise that we don’t need nearly as much ‘fuel’ as we think we do. And as you say Mariette, our bodies are much happier as a result!
The other day I had my dinner at 05:30 and I had thoughts like: mmm, that is quite early, normally I never eat that early etc. But It felt so wonderful to just honor that it was time to have dinner, not from the clock but from my body. It just shows how conditioned I am when it comes to food. For the body there is no clock, there is only this moment and in that moment, it lets me know what is going on and what is needed.
Cutting down on snacking especially eating nuts, having only a handful a day is supporting my body enormously. My abdomen doesn’t feel uncomfortable when I wake in the mornings which is probably the most obvious. I noticed last night that a thought crossed my mind tempting me to eat some nuts when I got home as I was travelling home after picking my daughter up from dance. The thought didn’t have the same impact on me as it had done before I started the program; I felt I was much more detached from it! This kind of surprised me. It goes to show we are far more powerful than what we realise.
I know these thoughts…I have sometimes thoughts like oh I want some almonds, this is so boring. But I can just observe…..yesterday I was a bit tired and then there are also more thoughts about nuts etc. But like you share, we are far more powerful than we can ever imagine.
Accepting another’s food choice I have difficulty. I have come up with rules which didn’t work. I am learning to accept my husband’s food choices without judgement buying and cooking food which he asks for. With our children I find it more difficult. There has been and still is but to a much lesser degree a tendency to want to control what they eat. We do talk about food and the choices we make and how food affects our body but I am not consistent with this. This is a beautiful reminder to bring more awareness about the food we eat and to ask them questions bringing it back to how the food feels in their body.
This is very true Sandra, the more I listen to my body the less food I want to eat. A belief of mine which I recently became aware of was ‘If I don’t eat now I will be hungry later and therefore I will want to overeat’ so in order for this not to happen I would eat something which my body didn’t want just in case I would want to overeat later! I am coming to realise that most of the time I am eating too much at meal times but by simply becoming aware of this I can begin to make changes primarily in my day and how I am choosing to live.
I love what Mariette has shared about when we can get bored, thoughts of wanting to eat can enter. I have noticed this too so now when the feeling of boredom arises I call it out and come back to me… I am so much more than what I am actually doing.
I know this well Mariette using food to not feel so raw and delicate.
I realise more and more as well, that eating light is the key to feel my lightness, my tenderness as well. The moment I eat very heavy, e.g. meat at the wrong time, I lose my delicate feeling in my body.
This is a very powerful contribution, thank you Anne. Incredible how hard we will try to deny and push under our very best and innermost qualities as though they were vices to be avoided at any cost. Your writing gives me a taste of how delicious and natural our vulnerability actually is.
‘When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.’
Anne, your blog has inspired me more so this morning. Another commenter wrote it as her ‘go to place’ supporting her to surrender and this is the same for me. Yesterday I was feeling the same as you describe, incredibly vulnerable and teary. I was able for the most part to stay with it and deepen my understanding of what it was about….when I did this eventually it became clearer, and I still managed to care for me through out this.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.”- So true Anne.
Once buried they will reappear at a later date and the body will need to be louder to get your attention to stop and feel.
I too have entertained so many distractions to avoid feeling vulnerable. Quite shocking to read my own list! Yet allowing those feelings brings me to my very core and the very essence of me, open and loving.
I get an enormous sense of how powerful we actually are without the usual protection and guardedness that we surround ourselves with and show towards others lest they hurt us.
Letting myself feel vulnerable is also something I can run a million miles from, yet when I let myself drop and feel it there is a sweetness to feeling vulnerable, and this feeling is quite exquisite.
I can really relate to this, Toni. Yesterday my son presented me with something which was very challenging for me to stay open to and I could feel my fragility in the truth he was expressing. My first inclination was to hide and put the barriers up but I chose not to and the fragility I felt allowed me to feel the truth that was being expressed.
Yes Anne it can be incredibly challenging to stay open when feeling vulnerable, our reaction, through years of habit and fear of being hurt is to instantly harden or distract ourselves, but in allowing ourselves to feel the truth, firstly we see the pain we expect is not so excruciating, and the depth of understanding that comes through allowing fragility is invaluable.
I love this Brendan, simple and true, ‘Revealing my vulnerability around others is such a great antidote to pretending we are tough and invincible.’
Thank you Anne for a great blog, I have throughout my life shut the door to feeling vulnerable as it was perceived by me as a weakness, but now I understand it to be a strength. “What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.”
Re-reading this blog I stopped when reading “What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.”.
This feels very Wise and True to me. I can feel for myself how I’ve tried a life long to control and avoid these moments of vulnerability. I wanted to be strong, to care for others, to show (in Truth, prove) my worth. Rather than accepting my vulnerability and that I need support too, just as anyone else. I’m not untouchable and everybody sees that, the only one who’s got difficulties admitting that was (and is) me. I lived a long time the illussion that I could ‘learn’ life from knowledge, from changing behaviour. Where now I am in the vulnerable process of accepting that the only way to ‘learn’ life is through living it – which means feeling it. Myself, others and the world around me. Allowing myself to feel hurt, to feel vulnerable, to feel the (sad) choices that I’ve made. Simple to write, not so simple for me to put them into daily practice yet. Allthough I’m learning…
Floris , thank you for expressing this so beautifully. I wonder if it is harder for men to show their vulnerability to the world as feeling vulnerable is often perceived as being a weakness. Feeling vulnerable is a strength in us which helps us go deeper in our understanding of ourselves and then we are able to reflect this understanding back into the world.
Thank you Anne, I don’t know if it’s harder. I see a lot of women struggling to show their sadness as well. Reading both comments I could feel that showing my vulnerability to another human being – is the most difficult. As if I am lesser in that moment. I talked to a friend this week and we shared how lovely it would be to just cuddle or crawl into somebody’s arm (and cry) and feeling held. Just as children do. I can feel that by opening this up, it’s already bringing me a new level of intimacy and vulnerability. Crying with others, admitting stubbornness is still difficult, although I’ve experienced how lovely and freeing it is, when I just let go – surrender.
Thank you Floris for expressing so beautifully and openly. I can relate to much that you have written, and I just loved the following sentence, as it helped me to realise that I have to allow myself to truly FEEL life. “Now I am in the vulnerable process of accepting that the only way to ‘learn’ life is through living it – which means feeling it”.
Thank you for your beautiful openness in sharing the above Rosemary. It can not be repeated enough, life is to be felt in every way. I can’t hear this enough. It’s beautiful. And very necesarry to share along each other as it’s so needed to confirm and remind ourselves and each other that life is indeed to be felt.
Yes Floris it is beautiful, life is to be felt in every way, once so scary for me I am now allowing myself to feel deeply, and in doing so confirming to and reminding others that life is indeed to be felt.
The world that’s opening up and revealing itself is absolutely fabulous and literally of a different planet Rosemary. I am learning to more and more listen to both my own body as well as to other people’s bodies first, before I listen to what they’re actually verbally expressing. This is often completely different. Fascinating and very inspiring to experience and deepen. Our bodies do communcate so much and always from honesty, humbleness and clarity. All we are to do, is… listening. That’s all we’ve got to do. How simple can it be?
I agree, all we are to do is listen….It couldn’t be simpler Floris. And the beauty of your inspiring writing is that I get to share in the love and joy that you are experiencing and expressing as life opens and reveals itself so beautifully to you. It’s exquisite….thank you.
It’s amazing Rosemary. I’m realising that the Joy and Togetherness is growing rapidly by us expressing from our hearts. This feel so yummy, very expansive and in union. As if we’re living together, yet geographicaly not at all. Fascinating and an inspiration to go deeper and deeper.
Time and space does not exist when people are expressing from the heart, it can be felt and shared as if the person were right next to you, yes Floris, it truly is beautiful and expansive, the more we allow ourselves to feel the Love and Joy the more it will grow and deepen.
When life is felt = lived with an open heart, there are no barriers. Everything is crystal clear. Whenever I’m in this space I am feeling the enormous Love that I’m held in, and also the enormous Love we are and so are responsible for. The strength when being together in this space is what we’re here developing Rosemary. It is Beautiful and very Natural as well. Thank you for sharing you with me so we’re able to move forward – evolve – together. Which in fact is going backwards in time, letting go of the layers we once took on.
Floris that which we are sharing is so naturally beautiful, when I read your comments I feel an aliveness and a deep smile in every cell of my body, the love that you are connects so with the love I am, a love which is one and encompasses all, and once again I am aware of being with you-evolving together.
I’ve been craving for this Love all my life and now realising that it’s actually right there in front of me. It’s up to me to let Love in, to truly feel whatever is expressed towards me and feel whether it is Love or not. This is the only way to distinquish love from not love. I’ve tried to not see what is going on in life and live a loving life at the same time. Which is utter illusion. The Oneness that we share is the Oneness we all belong to. And the only way to feel that belonging is to open up and surrender to it. What a wonderful science and gift.
“I’ve tried to not see what is going on in life and live a loving life at the same time.” I know this only too well Floris as I lived this utter illusion also. To open and surrender to the love we are allows us to feel the Oneness…the Oneness we all belong to. The gift is the love we have been craving all our lives is right there within ourselves, with us constantly and not reliant on anyone else…..the more we feel it in ourselves the more we feel it around us and in others. I agree a wonderful science and a wonderful gift.
Thank you Rosemary for sharing your experiences, evolvement and Wisdom. What I deeply realise from your sharing is that the key to a loving life is surrendering to ourselves and to God. Letting go of the false ideals and beliefs that we don’t belong, that we’re not loved, that we’re alone, etc. Recently I’ve been wondering and pondering how it’s possible to walk through life, feeleing the magnificence all around me, yet trying to pretend that I don’t belong. This is exposing the arrogance and stubbornness in me. Avoiding the pain that is there and in Truth can’t be escaped. The pain of having chosen to disconnect from all the magnificence I am.
Yes Floris that is a big one, feeling the deep pain and sadness at realising we chose to turn away from our own magnificence, the deepest pain and sadness of all, and something we all have to face at some point.
And also not meeting others in their Grandness, but in fact meeting them in their contracted state which is actually confirming that this is the ‘normal’ way of living life. That the contracted state is the only way to live life. So not only are we missing out on ourselves and others, but also do we add to a world where we accept as living in a conctracted way is ‘normal’. Ouch.
Along with vulnerability is the sister fragility. I have learnt to take note when feeling either of this incredible feelings as they support me to remember the delicate and deeply sensitive person I truly am.
Kathryn, I love the feeling of fragility as well and have pondered the difference between vulnerability and fragility. It probably does not matter as they both are such delicate and healing forms of expression and open the door for us to go deeper in our bodies.
Gorgeous Kathryn, I hadn’t seen it that way as I still sometimes struggle with feeling both of these, though this is changing. Tell me more.
We are souls living in physical bodies and the way we have set up the world does not honour this. It’s harsh out there so feeling vulnerable occasionally makes a lot of sense. To honour this is to honour one of the many delicate ways we exist. It is critical to our evolution.
Yes it does make complete sense.
Anne, I can very much relate to what you have written here, ‘I became aware of the many behaviours I could have gone into to reduce this vulnerability, to bury it back down again, and I felt pretty stunned with all the ways I had been doing this’, I experienced this recently too, after a sacred movement class that I attend I felt how very tender my arms are, my elbows and arms felt achy and I became aware of how hard I had been with my arms, in the days that followed I felt an exquisite feeling of tenderness, fragility and delicateness and felt very vulnerable, it was a beautiful feeling as I was feeling how my arms actually truly are, I noticed when I tried to do something in a hard or rushed way that this hurt and did not feel true and so I came back to the sensitivity in my arms and honoured this, it has been lovely to allow myself to feel this and not try and just ‘get on with it’ and override what I feel.
“Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body”, when I started to appreciate, accept and allow this into my life, I could feel the huge changes in my body. My body started to soften up, my connection to my feelings deepened., I was able to feel and allow the vulnerability that I was feeling.
And these changes can be visibly seen by others, it is very inspiring to watch someone who is truly letting themselves feel vulnerable.
A beautiful sharing, Amita. Feeling our vulnerability allows our body to express more fully with us.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ I, and probably most of us have learned it the other way around, being tough and to just go on with doing whatever we do is the way out and just like you Anne I can feel the more I embrace what is there to feel in my body gives me an opportunity to get to know myself even more. It is to allow ourselves to go deeper that is required and to support each other in this is a natural way of living.
Yes, Annelies, we are not encouraged to feel our vulnerability but to carry on in the “doing” of everything. When I find myself in this pattern I pull myself back with a walk and allow the vulnerability to be present, to be felt.
Feeling vulnerable is actually a feeling I’m really embracing and appreciating. This feeling shows me that it is an opportunity to choose to be with me, to connect to my movements with a deeper care and presence, to slow things down a little and that there is no need to push myself. One gentle breath at a time is enough and all that is required of me any one moment. Then I am with all of me in the next moment. There is a very lovely rhythmic flow that is happening and feeling vulnerable is a feeling that is accepted and appreciated for what it is and therefore doesn’t turn into some mental construct and tension in my body.
I also have my habits to avoid feeling vulnerable and one of them is to start planning things in the future. I have been feeling vulnerable for some days now and I am really observing myself with this. the beauty is, I have had such intimate conversations with people so the impact is enormous. Vulnerability is something to celebrate and cherish and not to be put off and avoided.
Thank you Mariette. Vulnerability is to be celebrated. It calls us to go deeper.
Yes, it does call us to go deeper. For me having those vulnerable moments, sometimes days, I know I am being asked to go deeper and to truly honour myself.
Thank you ladies, a call to go deeper and the same for me Mariette, I tend to push through when I am feeling vulnerable, try to cover it up so to speak, but really I just need to honour it. This blog and comments are a real blessing for me this morning.
Being vulnerable, open and innocent is very powerful. I gave a workshop for women yesterday evening and I felt very much like this. It felt a bit awkward in the beginning as I was like: can I be like this? Yes, I can and it allows other women to be the same. We don’t have to be hard and protected, that is a way we have lived for so long but we can make another choice.
Thank you Mariette, I am just starting to really open myself up to others around me in this way. It does feel a little uncomfortable I will have to admit, and I too presented a small workshop the other day and felt the same. But instead of going hard and presenting from my knowledge (as I have always done in the past), I allowed myself to stay tender, and what happened was extraordinary, if not just for me to remain in that way. I am learning to stay with my tenderness instead of moving through my day hard and protected, and I can feel there are deeper layers to go to here. I so appreciate this conversation.
Esoteric Yoga is so gentle and so powerful, it shifts particles. I have also felt deeply vulnerable through practicing it, the stillness that can be felt and connected with is awesome. Esoteric Modalities offer so much for humanity to heal, live and express.
Thank you Samantha, you have inspired me to really let myself go there in my next yoga session and to just be with the vulnerability as it arises.
Vulnerability, a word which often has its meaning besmirched, tarnished. I spent a life time ‘thinking’ it was a weakness and now I am am understanding it to be a strength. To feel is to know.
This is a revelation, it challenges what many of us chose to do when we are feeling vulnerable “When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” I am learning to stay with these feelings, they do allow me to uncover and expose issues that can be healed. I also have many ways of blocking this healing, through not wanting to feel vulnerable. What I am learning is that, surrendering to feeling what there is to feel allows for my awareness concerning life and myself to deepen, this can only and does offer a great support and foundation from which to live every day.
There is power in these words “I could” and the power is that it is always a choice. We are responsible for the way we live and be.
Thank you for sharing your experience, it is a great reminder that the power of these modalities should never be underestimated.
The list of distractions you’ve shared Anne are so normal! They are not far out or obvious ways to numb and dull our feelings; like doing alcohol or drugs – cleaning the house or yelling at the children are just normal everyday things that most wouldn’t bat an eyelid at the fact that these activities can be done in a way that dishonors our vulnerability and clairsentience.
Yes Rachael, for me food on this list is a big one. When something is there that I don’t want to acknowledge food is often the first thing I go to to find comfort in.
When I read this blog I feel a subtleness in my body letting go of trying to control how I am – I feel my body surrender to whatever is there and a call to observe what comes up or gets in the way of that. It’s a very beautiful blog Anne – my go to place to remind myself that surrender is the key.
Lovely to share, thank you Rachael Evans, I agree a great support and reminder that surrender is the key to heal and to know and express our true selves.
I agree Samantha, that surrendering deeply is the way to true healing. Through this we are aware that we feel everything.
Hi Anne, I can really relate to your going for things to push the vulnerable feelings aside, I have done this for aeons and still sometimes resist and am challenged when I’m feeling vulnerable. Thank you for openly sharing your experience.
It has been the society norm for so long, Anna, that we avoid our vulnerability and “push on”. For me it feels so loving to be able to openly feel and express my vulnerability with my friends and family, but like you at times I do feel resistance. At least I am aware of my resistance now and can work with that.
I love how you support yourself here Anne ‘At least I am aware of my resistance now and can work with that.’ Very loving words to offer yourself.
Ah, that champion of “getting on with it” rears its head again. When reading your blog Anne, I could feel all those times I felt vulnerable and out of kilter and thought “I have to feel better than this, I have to shake it off.” Because it’s not convenient and I don’t enjoy the feeling. All those times I missed an opportunity and buried this back in my body rather than feeling what there is to feel and being honest with myself and my body. I thought I was doing the right thing, soldering on, getting things done, being the strong one.
This, I discovered, did not serve me, as what is there to be felt does not go away and builds for another time.
How beautiful it is to lovingly allow what needs to be felt – to be – to stay with it, to loving allow the fragility and vulnerability, to be absolutely truthful with my body and to put me first.
What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me. I am still learning this Anne, as allowing myself to be vulnerable doesn’t always come easy for me. I can drop into an old pattern of soldier on or only allow myself to feel some of it then think, “good, now that’s done and dusted I can move on” which only prolongs what will come around yet again.
I just love how beautifully supportive this sentence is, ‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ Inspires deeper loving acceptance of oneself.
The difference between the two lists – one to bury who you are and the other to deepen your connection feel SO different! I know the former well and am appreciating all the little lies that I choose and go for – like well, I’m getting this job done so I can rest later knowing that actually I’m burying an issue whilst pretending I’m being good for doing a job that is there to do. The other list feels so expansive, like all the other things, if the are needing to be done, will have their moment when it’s time.
I’ve been looking at my day in general especially around when I get home after work. Some days I have created and collected a few emotions along the way and rather than delve into numbing behaviours like TV, food or stressing about how much there is to do, today I went for a gentle walk and came back to myself, letting go of the day’s stuff.
The more we allow ourselves to go deeper into what we are feeling the more powerful the healing. The alternative is to bury the feelings again but they will resurface and are often stronger. I have also found the esoteric yoga sessions are very powerful in what they can expose and in such a gentle way.
It just makes so much sense to face up to and feel things so we don’t bury them in our bodies. The lists you have written are so very common on how we deal or don’t deal with the way we feel. And if we don’t truly look at and honour how we feel now it is always going to come back and bite us in the future.
Absolutely Kevin – the bite back is imminent, we cannot escape our choices.
I loved the lists you wrote Anne that either bury or support feeling the vulnerability, its inspired me to take a deeper and more honest look at the behaviors and distractions that I choose to not feel vulnerable or raw, and try to stay in control, or look like I have it all together. Having lists like this clearly show the what supports one and what does not, with no grey areas, and no perfection or judgement if we choose to do things that don’t support us, but simply an observation and awareness of our patterns and choices.
So true, Thomas. Sometimes I feel we do not appreciate the many things that are here to support us in our vulnerable moments-gifts from heaven!
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” When put so clearly as you have here Anne, why would we choose to ever bury, numb or distract ourselves from what we are feeling, as in fact we cannot get rid of unwanted emotions or feelings in this way, only bury them deeper in our bodies, where they stagnate and fester until such time they show up again in a physical symptom that then is more complicated to deal with and undo. It therefore much wiser and more self loving to allow ourselves to feel what is there to be felt there and then in the moment it is presenting itself, and it can pass through pretty quickly in most instances.
“What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.”
Super awesome realisation Anne thank you for sharing it, rather than us pushing away the fragility and uncomfortable feelings that come with vulnerability, to see it as part of the expression of who we are, bringing us back home to our bodies and true selves without the layers of protection, and ideas and pictures of how we should function in the world.
So gorgeous to consider how vulnerability “…bringing us back home to our bodies and true selves without the layers of protection,” I really got a feeling of how I have layered myself with this protection in a bid to not get hurt, but I still have been hurt. Feeling what there is to feel enables us to know that we are not our hurts and that something much grander, divine and beautiful is the foundation of who we truly.
Great comment Samantha, we try to rid ourselves of our hurts but they do not go away, they simply get covered up for a time. Feeling vulnerable is the antidote to burying hurts and a huge gift we can give ourselves.
That is so true Samantha, when we allow ourselves to feel our hurts we realise we are not our hurts, and that in truth they cannot touch us.
“I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” as I have done many times in the past: but today I decided to allow this vulnerability to be there and to deeply feel it.” What an honouring decision you made Anne, for me it feels courageous when we choose to allow ourselves to stay in the vulnerability and not try to fix it, or cover it up, and many things are revealed to us in this open vulnerable state.
Vulnerability is an expression of truth from our bodies and that is super powerful for all.
I have learnt from a very young age that I needed to hide my vulnerability because I did not know how to be this way in the world, people would react to it and I would end up feeling guilty for being that way so chose to live a life of being hard and tough. This did not work too well as I lost myself in the process as I identified with the hard persona as who I was. I am slowly starting to allow those vulnerable feelings to emerge even though at times I slip into old patterns I know I am developing a foundation of love that will support me.
Feeling vulnerability does not feel great, but this is mostly because when we allow ourselves to feel vulnerable, we allow ourselves to feel the consequences of how we get affected by the world. In other words, we get honest with how things affect us. And therefore, we start to appreciate more just how delicate we are, and how much care we need and deserve – starting with self care. We are not designed to be as robust as we think. The human body is much more fragile than we give it credit.
I agree Adam. I felt very annoyed and frustrated today and realised I needed to stop, have a bath with plenty of lavender oil and a strong cup of chamomile tea. It was during this time of nurturing that I was able to deeply reflect and get really honest with myself, and therefore came to an understanding of why I was feeling that way. It really helped a lot.
So often, Kate, we choose to not stop and take care of ourselves. I can feel the healing for you in actually making the choice to stop and feel your vulnerability under the frustration which manifested.
Yes that’s the thing Kate, taking the time to stop, care for ourselves, and make the space to reflect, feel and be honest.
True Adam ‘we are not designed to be as robust as we think’.The human body is much more fragile than we give it credit.’ Changing our way how we treat the body 24/7 is super important. The body so needs our loving attention instead of the disregard that is very common in our daily life.
Hear hear Adam, it is a whole new way of feeling and getting around on the world when we allow ourselves to feel just how sensitive and delicate we are. It exposes the world we have created and how far we have wondered from our true nature.
Carolien, I know it was a typo, and you meant to say “how far we have WANDERED from our true nature, instead of “wondered” yet I cannot let pass on this magic moment. For it is in our enamoured wonderment for a world that exists outside of ourselves that we found ourselves separated from our true nature in the first place.
I love that Adam both the play with words and your comment as it is true the world around us has been so enticing we traded the whole we hold within for the fragments that we are chasing after.
True Adam, I used to think that by not being vulnerable and feeling everything was the only way to be in the world without getting hurt. I realise now that the effect was opposite and that the more I distracted myself instead of dealing with things as they arise, the deeper down the hurts were pushed.
Wow reading this blog was like it had been written about me, I can totally relate to this. Recently I’ve been feeling that the tension of the vulnerability and feeling our hurts actually begins to feel worse the more I try to avoid feeling the vulnerability by going into any behaviour. It’s like the behaviour ‘works’ to numb me only very briefly, then the tension is felt in full strength almost immediately which then leads to the choice again of whether feeling the vulnerability or choosing something again to not go there. The more I don’t go there the worse I feel because I actually miss myself. Really the way out of it has been to not focus on the tension but instead to focus on my relationship with myself, how lovely this is and how lovely I am, then I won’t want to leave this and I’m empowered to look at the tension or hurts that come up when feeling vulnerable.
Reading your article makes me aware that in the past I have hidden my vulnerability, trying to squash it down by; overeating; doing things in a hard way; dressing in masculine clothes; saying that im ok and not allowing support, more and more i am feeling my fragility and it feels beautiful to start allowing this to be seen and not see it as a weakness.
Yes I agree Rebecca and in this we allow a greater connection not only to ourselves but those around us, this connection calls us to a deeper level of honesty and in turn calls us to the absolute truth of who we are.
“Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” Now I no longer bury my feelings I allow them to come to surface so I can deal with them, the more they come to surface, the more healing takes as I get to explore my vulnerability.
I agree Brendan and it is also very freeing of the roles and patterns we otherwise go into that are hard work to keep up and in the end hurt more for not being ourselves in the first place then anything anyone else could do to us.
I have a little pink heart post it note over my desk that reads ” Let your vulnerability be your strength.” Its something I look at a lot and allow myself to know that being vulnerable is our way to connect to all. There is so much learning that can be shared from vulnerability and the honesty it shares.
‘There is so much learning that can be shared from vulnerability and the honesty it shares.’ Yes, Kelly so true when we are vulnerable and do not keep up any appearance there is an honesty and from my experience people are opening up when I allow myself to be vulnerable.
Thank you Anne for sharing this with everyone. I had a realisation the other day about the word ‘Stoic’ – some months back an Esoteric Practitioner said that I was stoic when a close family member died and at the time I thought what a strange word, not really sure what it meant. And then the word presented itself again the other day, so I looked it up and what I found is that it means ‘One who is seemingly indifferent to or unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure, or pain’, – this to me is just another way in which we avoid feeling vulnerable by denying ourselves to feel the pain, but it also filters the joy. It’s a way of telling the world you haven’t affected me and I am not going to let you see that I am hurt.
The more I allow myself to be vulnerable (work in progress), I feel the more I can see that being stoic keeps us in a cage of our own making.
Julie, I can relate to being stoic as I have been described as this in the past. Being stoic certainly is a way of hiding and also gets lots of positive affirmation from others. Feeling my vulnerability has certainly stopped me from hiding and I love the tenderness it allows me to feel.
I also found that being stoic was a way to keep people out and left me feeling very isolated and alone.
Awesome sharing Anne. It has allowed me to ponder on all the ways I too have tried to bury my vulnerability believing that I need to soldier on. This choice or response actually buries the issue even deeper into the body and doesn’t allow for a deeper awareness about my livingness or life choices which then deepens my connection to my true essence.
Gorgeous sharing Anne. You remind me that no matter how we feel we always have a choice. We can allow more truth and love by our choices or shut down further and lock emotions into our bodies – it is up to us.
So true, Leonne. When we surrender to the feeling of vulnerability we allow ourselves to go deeper – it is about what we are choosing.
So true this is what I have been experiencing. I have been able to go deeper in my connection as I have allowed myself to surrender to the feeling of vulnerability.
Absolutely Anne, it is all about what we are choosing.
And locking emotions into the body just hurts even more…
It’s really amazing when we realise the effort we all put into not feeling our feelings. We spend the greater part of our lives this way when in truth if we were open to feeling them in the first place we would make the space within our bodies and lives to be so much greater and grander. By not feeling we are not only minimising ourselves but the whole of humanity as we contract and repress what it is that we can offer the world and to fully play our part and to take responsibility.
This is beautiful, Susan. When we don’t feel our feelings we are so locked away that very few people can reach us and we choose to not be accessible to others. To acknowledge the feelings in our body is so amazing and opens us up to feeling how amazing we are and the amazingness held in others.
This is very true Anne, ‘When we don’t feel our feelings we are so locked away that very few people can reach us and we choose to not be accessible to others.’ I certainly recognise this pattern that I have now chosen to let go of, and so am allowing, learning and choosing to connect and be accessible to other people in a far more intimate way.
Thank you Anne for allowing us to share your feelings of vulnerability. I feel it is something I talk about but do not allow myself to feel – I go into hardness and distract myself rather than seeing my vulnerability as a moment to spend time getting to know myself and ‘feeling me’.
I have found this as well – shirking away from vulnerability and doing all and sundry to not feel and acknowledge it rather than feel what is there to feel and enjoy it for the immense strength that it truly is.
Anne, this is a great blog for me to come back to at this point. I have loads to do, but I did a good walk this morning and it has become a very warm day. But can I concentrate on doing what really needs to be done? No, I have been doing lots of other little things, but in between been nibbling away at various little bits of food, e.g. just a few cherries, anything to distract myself from the responsibility I know I have to do just a few things that are really required. It is amazing how I can lose myself. I see now that I am feeling vulnerable in the body, lots to be done over the next few days, and the anxiousness crept in. But here I am at last back finishing off my comments for the day and back on track at last. I can thank you for your blog in helping me come back to myself and my responsibility. All it took was to come fully back to myself, let myself feel the vulnerability, and know all will be okay, all I need to do is gently work through the details that need attending to and I now trust that all well be well.
Thank you Beverley… up until I read your comment I hadn’t fully clocked that I am actually feeling vulnerable in my body, this realisation alone allows me to feel that simply being honest about the way I feel allows me to to begin healing.
Honesty is a great point to start healing – sometimes it takes a lot of courage to be honest.
Yes it does Abby and yesterday I chose not to be honest and feel what was going on so I buried and ate like there was going to be no food left in the world! And then I read this line today…”when I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” It so does not make sense when you really think about it.
I agree Sarah, ‘when I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense,’ definitely does not make sense when I am choosing to heal my hurts.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ That is beautiful Anne and I subscribe to every word.
Gorgeous Katinka, I love how you hold Anne in your response. Your appreciation is very beautiful.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me’. This is a massive lesson that I feel I shall take heed of. Looking at these moments, as being part of ones expression is something I hadn’t considered before. I can feel how squashing them and denying them is the same as squashing our joy as both are equal in expression.
I too had never before considered these vulnerable moments as being part of one’s expression, thank you for pointing out that. I also feel they are sometimes giving us a message, as to how we may need to be very tender with ourselves, for example when we are physically tired, but have to go on to do some things. The key then is to be extra gentle with ourselves, move extremely gently in all that we need to do, be vigilant not to be getting into any drive or anxiousness, which I realise I had let happen to me a little earlier today.
When I go into drive I feel that with it comes hardness and feels forced. I realise that drive takes a lot of energy to be in and while in it is a missed opportunity and a distraction away from feeling vulnerable.
Good point Kim, I never thought of our vulnerable moments as being part of our expression and that if we squash them it is the same as squashing our joy.
It is so beautiful to look at vulnerability in this way. Sure it is going against the grain, but it is as I see it, an opportunity for us to open up and feel so much more of what is going on. And after decades of being shown that shutting down and numbing out is the way to get by, I welcome sensitivity with open arms 🙂
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me’. I love this sentence from Anne’s blog, it helps to remind me that being vulnerable is really a gift to be embraced.
I also had not considered vulnerable moments as part of our expression, with equal value and need to be expressed as joy or love, thank you for your comment Kim.
To allow our vulnerability is not a weakness as is often falsely presented but in fact a strength.
Hear hear Nicola and one day the we humans will all understand.
Absolutely Katinka de Lannnoy, one day we humans will all understand that we don’t need to protect ourselves, we will let down the walls, let love in and see ourselves much more clearly and truly.
Katinka and Julie, my whole body opened up reading your words here. One day this will all be true, but for now, it is enough just to work on this for myself – letting down all the guards, letting go all the judgments, allowing my tender self to be my strength in the world. Beautiful thank you.
And with reading your words my body relaxes Anna, focussing on me and my process of letting down the guards, letting people in, living from the tenderness and preciousness I am as a woman. Very powerful Anna and how lovely to share this process with other women like yourself.
Yes, I feel the blessing also Katinka xo
I have always in the past felt being vulnerable was a weakness but over time and understanding that this is one of our natural expressions and since embracing it, which to be honest still feels pretty new, feels very empowering. Like I am not trying to hide something but accepting that this is a precious part of who I am.
It feels very new to me to feel vulnerable and even if it is the most natural thing I am, I chose another form of being, I chose hardness in the past. The vulnerability feels totally different to what I have expected. It feels empowering and in the end I feel joyful.
Yes, Natalie, I feel that our vulnerability is such a supportive tool for us to have in our daily living as it truly supports the connections we have to ourselves and others.
I am learning to be in my vulnerability as well Natalie and can relate to what you share, it feels kind of naked and unprotected at first but I am learning that the protection I had in covering up my vulnerability was false and that in being fully within myself is what is truly empowering.
I can relate to this too Natalie, that allowing myself to feel vulnerable and not being afraid or anxious that others can see or feel it is a fairly new thing. In the past I would adopt the ‘stiff upper lip’ approach and be very good at convincing others I was ok, when actually I really wasn’t. There is such a beautiful tenderness and delicacy in allowing our vulnerability to be seen and felt.
When we are vulnerable we are much more open and can share with the world how we truly are – instead of the ‘hi how are you good thanks’ which gives us no insights into how we truly are.
Beautiful comment Natalie, it is the same for me. I am still learning to be comfortable really surrendering when I’m feeling vulnerable. That it’s actually not weak, it’s real and human.
This is something I can relate to, being vulnerable isn’t weak it is a strength in that it gives us the opportunity to be feeling everything, and being honest about what is doing with us.
Even i have understood that to be vulnerable is indeed a strength in my life. I still measure protection or measure the level of vulnerability. This is great to nominate and to give myself the permission to stop overriding myself and how i feel in a situation.
Yes Natalie being vulnerable still feels very new to me too even though it has been there all along. We sometimes choose to hide the very part of us that holds such power. Once vulnerability is felt there is no denying the strength it holds and the connection in all relationships deepens too.
Carolien, I love how you say it feels kind of naked and unprotected, as that is exactly what it is, naked in that we are no longer covering up, and unprotected as we should be in our natural state, and yet these things we are uncomfortable with. We think we will get hurt or crushed if we allow ourselves to live this way, but the truth is that putting up the guards, the protection, that is the most harming thing that could happen to us.
I love that ‘not trying to hide’ and the true power it brings, and that is definitely what I would like to choose for me more instead of hardening and protecting.
I agree Nicola, Vulnerability is a huge strength is allows us to feel what is going on both for us and around us. It is a level of sensitivity we all know as children but dismiss as we grow thinking it is a weakness.
Very true James, and actually it does feel very beautiful to allow ourselves to feel fragile and vulnerable, even though I have struggled with it myself, there are few things more powerful than witnessing someone expressing from such a place, or being there ourselves.
It is crazy how we struggle with being vulnerable. For me I see we do because it opposes the picture(s) we have about how we should look and act like. So the more we let go of the ideals and beliefs about how we should be, the more we can embrace our vulnerability unencumbered by outer forces!
Beautiful James, and there’s something also there for me around needing to protect the preciousness I feel inside of me. But the vulnerability actually leads us to this, and thus why it is as you say crazy.
That’s so true, it gives us the opportunity to feel all that is going on, it is a learning to get comfortable with, and to get to know what to do with all we feel. But as you say we had it as a child, it is an innate quality of us. Not weak but an enormous strength.
And that is one of the things I love about vulnerability Benkt, is how it allows us to be super sensitive and aware of our surrounding and what is going on, rather than simply taking everything that comes at face value. It allows us to feel deeper, to feel and understand why things are happening.
I agree James there is a belief in our society that we have to protect ourselves from other people and best don’t express or show who we are. But if we accept this way of living we stay separated from another and accept a loveless way of living.
And the cycle continues Janina until we just go for it and say here I am. But not in a flippant way, rather a this is me without the need to hold anything back or be anything other than the love that we are.
Thank you Anne and Nicola, absolutely being “vulnerable” and open allows us to feel everything that is happening around us. So a life of feeling the “vulnerability” is a natural state of being because it opens us up to being more, by allowing the love of the soul as a true Son of God!
I agree Greg, when we shut down or deny our vulnerability and innate tenderness, we also shut down and close off our ability to feel and register everything and every-body or every-ones body around us, therefore vulnerability is not a weakness as we have been misled to believe but an incredible strength and power, like and in-built radar that guides and supports us through life reading and feeling the truth of all situations we encounter.
Thank you Thomas spot on being able to feel and not absorb goes hand in hand with our true power!
Yes Greg and it opens up for us to “allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body” as opposed to fighting it.
Yes Thomas, ‘vulnerability is not a weakness as we have been misled to believe but an incredible strength and power’, allowing my vulnerability is still something I am learning to fully embrace more.
Beautifully expressed Greg, vulnerability is not a weakness but our greatest strength. This is something that I am learning day by day.
I have found this too Nicola it takes a lot of strength and courage to be fully open and show all that I am, to allow myself to feel all there is to feel and to dare to truly let people in.
Well said and very beautiful and inspiring for me in this moment Carolien, thank you.
It is an ongoing learning and opening for me as well Anna and I am learning it is all about how much I am surrendering within myself.
Beautiful comment Carolien and I agree with you and Nicola, it does take a lot of strength and courage to fully open. I held a fear in me that if I opened myself to the pain and hurt I felt I would be engulfed by it, that somehow I wouldn’t survive it , but not allowing myself to feel the pain stopped me from feeling the love also, allowing myself to feel all there is to feel and dare to let people in is continuing journey for me.
I can relate to that Rosemary, I know many others who would too. It is as if we have locked down our hurts like wild animals that would, if given any room, jump out and attack us. We spend so much effort and energy on keeping it buried and often do not even realise it any more. The trouble is to keep it buried we need to stop feeling and in not feeling we will – as you say- miss out completely on that ocean of love we hold within.
Great comment Carolien, letting people in is key and is something I am still working with, but it does seem as though there are so many mis-conceptions of what it means to be vulnerable that we avoid it at all costs.
I love that comment coming from a man Steve as the misconceptions may even be greater and stronger for your gender. A man that is willing to be tender and vulnerable is the most beautiful thing to experience.
Great comment Carolien, letting people in is key and is something I am still working with, but it does seem as though there are so many mis-conceptions of what it means to be vulnerable that we avoid it at all costs.
Very true Nicola – the word vulnerability has come to have such connotations that we assume a related weakness. In feeling the true quality of vulnerability the opposite is known.
I second that – vulnerability certainly feels scary at first and even way into it, but it means that we don’t carry a fortress around with us and that we can feel a lot more. Vulnerability is a true and much underestimated strength.
I agree Gabriele and your comment had me ponder the following. We have two forms of expression – our Soul which expresses love and truth and our spirit which expresses all that is not of love and truth. Our spirit does not feel comfortable in vulnerability preferring the comfort and illusion of control. When we express Soulfully we are naturally open, vulnerable, powerful and connected to all. This form of expression feels like a threat to the spirit and weakens its grip over us.
I love this, Gabriele- ” Vulnerability is a true and much underestimated strength”. Imagine how amazing the world would be if this level of understanding was the norm and we were all free to express our vulnerabilities to each other.
Beautiful Gabriele. “Vulnerability is a true and much underestimated strength.” Allowing myself to surrender to my own vulnerability is something still quite new for me but I know that holding back this part of my expression and way of being is protecting such tenderness that deserves to be free. Thank you.
A strength that, in my case, needed learning but it is extremely worthwhile to learn as your awareness increases so much.
I agree – vulnerability is an enormous strength because it doesn’t keep people out by building thick walls around itself.
beautiful sharing Jane thank you, i feel for many the ‘stif upper lip’ and pushing through is the only way they know as stopping and feeling is not in our way of being any more and crying is still stigmatised as being weak and powerless There is immense power in being willing and able to connect to how we feel exactly in any situation and it will show us how to deal with it. We are sensitive beings, maybe it is time to really accept this.
I have noticed that the more I am in my power the more I am connected to my vulnerability.
I woke feeling vulnerable today and had plans for the day. But I could not keep going I had to stop, have a big cry, rest my body and resist the urge to eat all day long….. I snuggles under a blanket and cuddled up to myself for the day.
For some reason we have taught ourselves to avoid feeling vulnerable at all costs and to battle on, and yet deep down we know when we are just putting on a brave face and pretending everything is ok. When we ask someone if they are ok, we have already felt that they are not and the majority of us answer with a ‘I’m fine thanks’ or something along those lines. How many of us actually admit something is going on with us in those moments when someone asks us? I know I tell myself that the explanation would be too long to explain or I don’t want to go into it right now.
This is a great blog to return to Anne, when I can feel I’m doing a couple of things on your list. When I’ve been over eating, my awareness has been more raised to.. why am I doing this now? It’s usually because something has happened that I didn’t want to feel and that’s my pattern of protection. Going to that place and feeling my vulnerability stops the pattern.
I love the practise of Esoteric Yoga and how it offers the space to deeply connect and feel the depth of sensitvity that I hold within myself as a woman. The depth in which I allow myself to go in the practise of Esoteric Yoga offers me a reference point in my body of the possibility of being open and vulnerable more of the time and offering this expression of me to the world knowing that this is really me.
Our vulnerability is such a valuable aspect to ourselves and yet it is suppressed and seen as a weakness. Our vulnerability allows us to be open to the world without any walls, and without guarding ourselves against attack. In doing so, we are able to allow the fullness of our love to be felt by all, and to feel the fullness of the world coming back to us. Without it, we are only allowing a portion of what is actually available to us all.
Naren, I am just realising and feeling the many layers I have used to cover over my vulnerabilities and how the world is not always getting the real and total “me”.
It is something that I too feel myself opening up to more and more. It is definitely not easy, and requires letting go of a lot of old notions of what the consequences of vulnerability are, but what I have been discovering is just how much more at ease I am just letting myself be letting myself be seen in all my vulnerability.
Reading this blog and comments I realize that yesterday I felt vulnerable. I knew I felt something and I knew what I was choosing as the antidote and the antidote was to avoid what was there to be felt. Now I can feel it was as simple as feeling vulnerable and as simple as sitting with myself lovingly to feel this. Feeling vulnerable is not scary or the boogey man unless I choose to shut it down.
Yes Sandra. I always saw being vulnerable as a negative thing, but in truth it holds the true power of who we are and without it we could not feel the awe and magic that we are .
I love your honesty, Shirley-Ann. It is so healing to be able to stay with this vulnerability as opposed to finding things to “do” which bury what you are truly feeling.
I have a tendency to wipe away feeling of fragility and vulnerability with going into hardness, eating or activity but really we are all missing out if we override them because we are not really open to connect with ourselves and others.
Janina, the ways of going into hardness have been so normalised for us in our society that we do not even think about them so we need to appreciate ourselves when we have an awareness of these things because that is huge!
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” This is a great reminder Anne thank you.
Anne I was watching a film recently about the abuse by priests in the catholic church, the extent of the abuse (based on true story) was horrific. The more I let myself connect with how I felt the more I quickly wanted to cover up those feelings, the feelings of what I really feel about what is going on. It just reminded me of your blog and how we can turn to things like food (as I did) or others to stop feeling how we feel.
Reading your blog Anne really supported me in feeling my own vulnerability this morning. For me it is allowing and sitting with whatever comes up; feeling and healing the hurts.
Thank you for this lovely gentle loving reminder.
Nothing can hurt us when we open our hearts and fully express our love and truth from our bodies.
This is very true Margaret, and this is worth remembering when we feel vulnerable.
When feeling vulnerable I actually love the feeling of simply lying down with all of me and feel all of me. I can feel my body come to life as I let go of the thinking and re-connect to feeling. What is next usually presents very quickly and simply and there is always the lovely feeling of being with me.
I find that I can go into self judgement to not feel vulnerable, and give myself a hard time about not getting it right or simply not getting something. I am slowly learning to allow myself to just be with whatever I am feeling and not judge it or go hard and just bringing it back to feeling my body and confirming my love.
Julie, we often get the biggest learnings from our mistakes and the things we could have done better so I truly appreciate them!
Yes Anne, thank-you, I am starting to remember at those times, that there is actually nothing wrong with me essentially, I just may have not chosen love to guide my choices at times but nevertheless, it is an opportunity to re-imprint and choose differently.
Allowing myself the space to just feel and then appreciate the enormity of what it is that I can feel, if I allow myself and I’m honest.
I have found taking the time to allow myself the space to feel and appreciate everything I can feel and be honest with myself about what I’m feeling is always a positive even if it starts off a negative feeling in my body it’s an opportunity to process a hurt and that’s something to appreciate and celebrate.
By not giving ourselves the time and space attention to notice how we feel we are completely dishonouring what is happening no wonder we end up confused.
I have also been feeling more vulnerable the last couple of days and it is interesting to see what kind of things I do to escape this vulnerability. What I am learning is how powerful it is to just express it and also when we feel hurt. There are many moments during the day for instance that I feel like snacking, in order to not feel. Great to observe and great choice to not buy the snacks…..
Today at work one of my male colleagues felt really vulnerable and what struck me was how he felt so ashamed about it. How awful is it that we consider vulnerability something to be ashamed of?
That teary, head-achy, vulnerable feeling is often how I feel just before my period, and your lists could equally be mine! Thanks Anne, after reading this, I am more aware of my patterns and can make shifts in my choices, as I actually really like feeling vulnerable.
It is amazing how quickly I can dismiss what is going on in my body and go into doing things or justifying away what my reaction of feeling was – I making a much bigger commitment to stop and connect to what it is I have felt.
Recently I found myself not able to appreciate myself, judging how hard I was feeling, realizing how much I do ‘wrong’. Then I chose to take a bath and had a moment of feeling my sweetness where I kissed my arm. It was like a lighted up path in the dark appeared and it was my choice to follow this path or stay in the dark. I was not sure what the path with lead me to, but I know the darkness and what it offers: numbness. And I have to say, this feels sometimes quite attractive to me, as it is well known and like ‘being safe’…
Anyway, I chose the little lighted pathway and felt into my arm, I just kissed and I started to feel tenderness, vulnerability and sensitivity. And I realized that I did shut down my awareness and feelings because what I felt around me the last two days and how I reacted to it was uncomfortable and challenging. And so I realized that I did what I did because of not appreciate my enormous beauty (sensitivity, tenderness, sweetness). By choosing to become aware again and to appreciate my tenderness I am also reconnecting to my power and strength. Taking responsibility.
Yes, sometimes it is hard to see and feel what is going on – but by leaving me and what I feel (to not feel it anymore) – I also leave my power behind and also the enormous support that is around me.
So I agree from my head – feeling my vulnerability is key, is my lighted up path.
This is such an honest and tender sharing, Sandra. Feeling vulnerability is choice we make or else we bury the hardness into our bodies. It is awesome that you chose the “lighted path”.
Yes Anne, to bury things we do not like to deal with into our body seams so easy, so why not doing so? But it is like it is with everything we want to avoid or hide, some day it will resurface, come up or discovered again and in the meantime this ‘thing’ did become not nicer, if you understand what I mean…’things’, I found, will not die in their rejection, but grow!
And thank you Shirley-Ann for your lovely and tender sharing. Feels like we come more close together, feeling, allowing and sharing our vulnerability is lifting up some walls between us. I (or better: my walls) melt even more by your words…
“Dress in clothes which make me feel gorgeous and feminine”. It’s interesting how we dress can actually support our body and confirm our expression, in terms of how we move and feel. I had never considered this before I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. Yes dressing in clothes to keep me warm, but not to support and confirm our natural divine qualities, such as delicateness, grace, love and power – and light that we bring.
I feel this is such an important point to make “Share with my family how I am feeling” as so many families across the world, do not really speak, there may be pleasantries or even abuse behind closed doors, but even in our own homes, with those we are supposedly closest to and have spent a lifetime with, we can walk around with a wall of protection up, holding on to so much stuff, like we don’t know them. How much simpler, easier and natural would it be if we open up, not dumping our stuff, but genially sharing with and appreciating them.
If our car was showing signs of something not working properly be it little or big, or running as smoothly as we know it to be, would we not take it straight to a garage, rather than run it to the ground? Why do we listen to the intrinsicalities of our car and not our body?
“because I was overriding what I felt, all the hurts would get buried in my body again.” I can confirm this is true, there have been times things have come up that I have not wanted to feel. In some form or another I have pushed them back down, be it by eating when I am not hungry, busying myself, or not allowing myself time to stop and feel. No matter how much I push them away, the same emotions, hurts come up again, usually stronger each time, even if only a day or two after to be healed. Just goes to show how deeply loving God, our body and Soul are, that they keep presenting things to us, that do not belong to us to clear. Much simpler and more loving to gently take care of ourselves.
“I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” . I can so relate to that Anne, I realise now that was how I always dealt with any feeling of vulnerability in the past, I just had to prove to myself that I was not vulnerable, went into drive mode and went on to do something that required more effort. Crazy, but I just never wanted to let myself feel that I may be weak in some way, which is what I used to regard vulnerability as. Now I just cannot do that, I have come to realise that it is beautiful to be able to feel into my vulnerability, realise that it is not a weakness, but a beautiful part of my true being. Not that I always let myself fully feel it, I can still sometimes put the feeling aside gently and go on with things that need doing. But maybe I should be using these occasions for a short ‘stop’ time to really let myself feel the vulnerability.
I can relate to pushing through not wanting to fell my vulnerability I still do it occasionally and have noted how exhausting it is to override and push on driving myself to ignore my feelings. When I stop and feel vulnerable feel the hurt attached it is actually a beautiful and powerful feeling.
Reading this again it’s like vulnerability is a part of us saying or calling out for a spring clean. Like a friend helping us out by pointing out all the old hurts that no longer fit us so we should just chuck it out and ask our inner-heart and bodies what would be better suited for us now. It’s not pleasant to feel all the ugly things we are still attached to but I am left now wondering what would happen if this relationship with vulnerability was deepened as explained above. Thank you Anne.
There is no point ignoring our hurts as we know eventually they come back around to be addressed once more. Better to feel what
is there and clear it then and there.
I agree, it seems to be so much more easy and comfortable to bury our hurts, but in the end of the day we are depressed. It might be a challenge to feel them but by staying open towards ourselves and by not controlling and letting the process unfold itself we can receive healings where we feel joyous and light afterwards.
Anne your blog has been resonating with me as yesterday I went to go to the shopping centre for some groceries, then your blog came to mind – do I really need to go now or am I avoiding something? It was the latter so I did what I was avoiding and am going to the shops today. The world did not end ;-). Thank you.
Sarah I love how you have shared this. Going to the shopping centre can seem to have such purpose, but if it isn’t at the right time it can be a complete distraction. And this is just one example of how this plays out.
Reading your sharing Anne is just one healing for me. I was basically running away from myself for so many years, because I didn’t want to feel my vulnerability. You share so beautifully, how we can encounter the vulnerability in us – exactly the opposite of running away – vulnerability is the gateway to us, to connect to us in a deeper way and to deal with our hurts.
A truly beautiful sharing Anne, thank you, I am starting to take notice when I am feeling Vulnerable, and not override the feeling with going into doing to escape feeling the depth of what is being revealed to me.
One of the greatest vulnerabilities in being a human being that is more than flesh and bones, is we go through life in a world where protection has been made normal. Communication stays on the surface dressed with niceties and harmfully defined as professionalism, or laced with emotions and control and falsely labelled as authority. We are walking and talking like the living dead, we are living without truly living, most of the world is going through this every day, it is deeply disturbing — truly allowing ourselves to feel the connection with everyone else, how can we not feel vulnerable every single day? Feeling vulnerability brings us the choice to observe and not absorb all that is felt, and this is something that Universal Medicine has supported me deeply in developing, in which I truly appreciate.
Adele you raise a great truth here – if we deeply connect to all those around us how can we not feel vulnerable. Life feels much more real when we begin to connect with others more deeply.
Agreed Brendan, allowing ourselves to being vulnerable and in our tenderness definitely goes against the trend of what it is to be a man nowadays but it is our responsibility that even in the face of this rejection we still offer the reflection that is so needed for others to feel the power of embracing the true nature of who we are.
When I reread your blog this morning Anne I could feel the true importance of these vulnerable moments I recognise I have in life. They are opportunities for me to connect with who I truly am and I can now also feel the strong relation there is with allowing these feelings to be there and to support these by nurturing them with a loving support and, with the rediscovery of the underlying qualities in me that want to be lived again.
I love what you are sharing here, Nico. Vulnerability is the gateway to healing our hurts which have often covered up and buried deeper more of our beautiful inner qualities. It is magic to feel these again as we have lived them before.
So true Anne, we have lived these divine inner qualities before and the rediscovering of these is such a liberation to our bodies as it frees open a way of living that is that much more natural to us.
Being in my true power is not about growing a thicker skin so I would be invincible. I would be even more sensitive, fragile and vulnerable.
I love what you have shared Fumiyo – “Being in my true power is not about growing a thicker skin so I would be invincible . . . ” Sadly this is the common meaning about being strong – how wrong we are!
Absolutely it takes true power to allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Yes, it does, Abby. It takes true power to claim ourselves, as we are, to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, showing our fragility and in so doing we offer the most amazing reflection to others.
I know this, Jane, to harden and then there seems to be a feeling of being powerful, which is not true, it is just a numbing. How different what you experienced to stay connected to what in truth you were feeling, a hurt or a pain, which brought tears into your eyes. A totally different approach and a way to claim one’s own power of sensitivity.
Allowing ourself to feel vulnerable or fragile and to feel if we’re hurt doesn’t mean that we have to get stuck or indulge in it. As you say Anne, being aware of our hurts can actually support us to let go of them and to take more responsibility for how we are in life.
That is also how it feels for me Fiona, it is about taking responsibility for our lives, and running away from vulnerability is not really a responsible way of living especially when we consider that our hurts are preventing us of living our lives to their full potential with all the unique qualities that we could put in service for our societies.
I so agree with you, Fiona and Nico, that giving oneself permission to feel our hurts but not indulging in them is actually a supportive and loving thing to do for oneself. If we don’t we have to go into defense to ‘protect’ ourselves from feeling the hurt while feeling it enables us to deal with it, learn from it and move on in life.
So true Jonathan, in fact because we are building more love in our bodies, the hurts that we hold will not be able to be maintained and will surface for us to be dealt with, e.g acknowledge for what they are and discarded and move on in life from there. But when we avoid going there and protect our hurts, our evolution will stop as in fact there is no place for holding onto those hurts where we are returning to and those held onto hurts are the barricades that will stop us from moving on in life.
When I bury down what I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body. With that knowing now I bring so much understanding for myself and the processing of old hurts can occur and allowing to be vulnerable.
I just allowed myself the same today. Instead of pretending that everything was o.k., I felt into what was disturbing and hurting me and thereby could not only see my part in that, but also relax with regard to what disturbed me. Know it was not anymore wanting a change that would pamper my hurts, but I am looking forward to finding a solution that will suit and benefit everyone involved.
Yesterday I had a day where I allowed myself to honour what hurt me, this allowed me to be far more real and present in my body, rather than escaping into my head and pretending every thing is okay. Which it is, but in the sense of actually just letting myself feel – rather than trying to escape.
“Pretending everything is okay” is really about to bury things in our bodies. Instead of feeling everything what has to be felt, in order to heal our hurts and to claim what we really are – love.
I often have felt and still do at times that it’s not okay to feel all this ‘ bad’ stuff so to speak, and there’s another lie to highlight in itself, how we see feeling certain things as bad, such as sadness and how much things can hurt to feel. In doing this I am basically overriding my sensitivity, avoiding going deeper and feeling more of me, It’s actually more than okay to say that hurts, as it supports us to honour our feelings and confirm what we know is not truly loving, or loving. I also often feel that I have to be a certain way, smiling and joyful all the time, when sometimes I feel tired and quiet, in doing this I override my innate fragility, and everything that’s actually being felt and shared from my body.
To honour how we feel, allows for simplicity, reality and truth. It’s much more real and far less escapist even if it’s not how we perceived ourselves to be. We can set ourselves up – thinking or having this picture in our head of how we think we should be, which is very damaging, as it’s basically saying we are not good enough. It is constantly asking us to live in our heads, in judgement, drive or need to be more, – instead of realising we are already everything we need to be. This can be a difficult one to get our heads around if we have grown up believing we have to achieve, be in drive mood, seeking recognition or acceptance. The simplicity each day of honouring our feelings and our body is way more than enough, in fact it is the key to a life truly lived in harmony.
For me honouring myself means registering and expressing how I feel as to not allow things to fester.
Today I have woken up feeling vulnerable and under the weather. I took part in my first sacred movement group this week and I can feel that it is bringing stuff up in my body to clear. I woke up with a hot flush like my body was releasing something. My whole body is aching and feeling sickly. I know today I just need to be very gentle and honouring my feelings and not override and go into the doing.
I know exactly what you are talking about, as I felt the same after the sacred movement group, it is such a deep opening and therefore clearing that can happen once we allow ourselves to feel these feelings that are there wanting to be felt and not numbed away.
I love doing attending an occasional sacred movement group, yes, it can often result in me feeling very vulnerable for a day or so afterwards, it helps me feel so much more deeply what is going on in my body, and if I honour that, I can feel much that the movement helps to bring up for me to acknowledge.
Lovely that you honoured that feeling, Amita, and just needed to be very gentle with yourself and not override the feeling of vulnerability. It is so, so easy to override and go into the doing in that situation.
I had a similar experience the other day as I had a full on situation at work and I just knew to be extra gentle with myself instead of overriding what I was feeling. It’s a total different way of being than my old pattern of burying my hurts with food.
The more I let my body lead, the less I have to think about letting it.
This cuts through another misbelief of mine: that life is a struggle. The more I let go, the simpler and clearer everything becomes.
And so it is, Matilda, I have the same experiences since simplifying my life, how easy it all becomes. Letting life be and feeling me within it all as the absolute divine part of the all.
I love your expression here Monica especially where you say about letting life be, such an honouring way to be with ourselves and others.
Vulnerability was something I always buried deep down in my body as I found a feeling like this not supportive. It took me a while to understand that this is not a bad feeling and that it is worthwhile to feel it – therefore I only can agree to what you have shared in your awesome blog Anne: “When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” YES it just does not make sense at all!
Vulnerability is indeed ‘not a bad feeling’ – when I know what brings me down or hurts me, I can face it and from my body I will know for the next time, what I want to allow and what not. And it doesn’t matter if I do this to me or another person.
A wise comment Sonja – thank you. It is always good to know what brings me down or hurts me as with this knowing I can choose to do it differently – that is really the true power of vulnerability.
This is so important to feel Sonja and Esther, that in not allowing ourselves to feel our own vulnerability and so bury our hurts deeper, we then override others and take advantage of their vulnerability which causes more hurt and damage. We all have responsibility here to feel what we are feeling and to be clairsentient to the energy of others. Contrast the hard, protective and damaging way with the exquisite beauty of feeling our own and someone else’s delicateness, and we can feel how that melts the protection in both and brings about a loving connection that can expand and be lived.
I have found many vulnerable moments to be the catalyst for great learning.
Ariana it was Serge Benhayon who showed me as well that being vulnerable is the strongest protection ever.
I know that every time I allow myself to feel my vulnerability I open my heart a little more and others feel it, and I know also that when others allow me to feel their vulnerability my heart opens towards them, for I can feel all that they are and all they have been concealing. It is being super honest without blame.
Beautiful Joan – choosing to stay open when feeling vulnerable is something I have struggled with – an old pattern of closing down sneaks in. Your comment and this blog is showing that shutting down shuts others out and me in, and by remaining open lets me out and invites people in. I know which I would like in my life – Thank you.
Thank you for reminding me once again ch1956, and bringing me back to this excellent blog about vulnerability. Recently I have been more aware of suddenly realising that something I am feeling is actually vulnerability when I had not previously recognised it as such, and then I have shut down and closed myself off. Sometimes after an event I exclaim to myself, “Of course, that was vulnerability!” Taking time to be present with all of myself and feel what is going on and then naming it honestly brings about a very different response, one that allows an openness of heart. Also there is a big stumbling block of belief about it being shameful and weak to be vulnerable, whereas if we remain connected to the heart it is the most powerful energy in the world, and recently I have felt this joyful, beautiful state more often.
This is beautifull Joan.
I have just realised Vicky, that when I give way and choose food that my body is really not asking for, but which I think it needs, I am covering up a moment of vulnerability. The vulnerability is a feeling I have when I have exposed myself in some way, and sometimes it is in a healing session when a layer of protection is lifted away, and that exquisite preciousness of the love and tenderness I am is revealed. The food becomes a substitute because the truth of who I am often feels so tender that I run away. Whereas, if I open my heart to it, it expands me and the food is no longer an issue, I am bigger than it in all my vulnerability.
These words are such a beautiful reminder Joan: ” every time I allow myself to feel my vulnerability I open my heart a little more and others feel it”; words to take with us always as the healing from expressing our vulnerability is not solely for us, but for all those we come in contact. To be able to share your vulnerability offers others the most glorious reflection as to the possibility of a more open and honest way of being.
Yes, and by openly accepting your own vulnerability it allows others to do the same. It fosters a humbleness and is a great tonic for arrogance.
I love this article. I love the ongoing opportunities to explore my vulnerability and fragility. When I stop grabbing things off the first list to avoid feeling, and choose something from the second list, I am aware of a vastness and depth of understanding and relationship with myself (and therefore others and the world) which is really inspiring.
I have also noticed this, Matilda. Allowing vulnerability in allows us to feel much much more and much more deeply and our awareness of ourselves and our relationship to the world expands.
I totally agree Anne that “vulnerability allows us to feel much more”; much more than we have been letting ourselves feel up to a certain point in time. I can feel that when I allow myself to truly feel my vulnerability I open a doorway for the world to see all of me, not just the carefully selected parts of me that I have let them see previously.
It’s true vulnerability opens the door to inspiration.
Yes Abby, and it helps us to explore what is underneath the vulnerability.
Great point Monica. Exploring what is underneath the vulnerability is a great way to get to know and understand ourselves more deeply.
A beautiful comment Abby. It is a rare thing to see the words vulnerability and inspiration in the same sentence but this is so true.
What a beautiful combo Abby. Vulnerability and inspiration working together to get a deeper understanding of ourselves. Love it.
I have felt this too Matilda – I am constantly amazed at the power of understanding. Once I have found understanding so many so called issues simply melt away but as you have said the key is to remain in vulnerability and not to jump ship because of what may feel like stormy seas.
I like that, Michael and Matilda, ” the key is to remain in vulnerability and not to jump ship because of what may feel like stormy seas.” I still tend to do this at times, I can still reach for something from the first list when I start to feel the ‘stormy seas’. A little fear there still?
I love the analogy you have shared Michael.
I know this feeling.. the most common ways for me to jump ship is by numbing the discomfort of rough seas with too much food or food that my body struggles to digest.
Yes, the old jumping ship, better to run than to deal with it. I thought it was taking the higher ground and not rocking the boat but it is an absolute abdication of responsibility to all parties involved. The suck eggs moment comes when the same situation comes up in a different disguise offering us yet another opportunity to stay, not jump ship and free ourselves through simply understanding our part and our healing.
This is great Michael – the jumping ship includes all the methods (and more) in the first list. So whenever we are tempted by this list we know a surrender and deeper understanding are what is needed.
So well said Matilda. The first list keeps you on the top level, rushing around but the second list, allows you to drop and explore more than just the top level – it feels much more roomy, vast as you say, and you can see much more and gain great insights.
I agree Matilda, feeling the vulnerability is an opportunity to go deeper and a gift from the body for more understanding, not only of ourselves but of others also.
Giving ourselves permission to feel our vulnerability makes us more ‘accessible’ for others …… we stop pretending, and allow ourselves to be where we are at, in that moment, dropping the protection and allowing our fragility to be felt …. which is the most exquisite reflection for another.
Yes Matilda, I am finding this too, and what a list the second one is. It feels gorgeous and tender just reading it, whereas the first list feels quite hard and abrupt. The difference is striking and goes to show how by choosing to do something from either one of these lists, imparts the energy of what we are doing to how we are doing it and also to who is involved with what we are doing. It highlights the responsibility we have with everything that we do.
I feel how true your words are Matilda and I am ready for the vastness and depth of my understanding and relationship with myself.
This understanding is so key Matilda. I had been in denial about the vulnerability in my body today up until now as I can see I have judged myself for ‘ending up like this’. It is far more loving and responsible to simply feel what is going on and support myself back to harmony in my body and I need to bring understanding to myself to do that.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, helps us deepen and drop into fragility.
This is a very powerful process, as when we allow ourselves to be fragile and vulnerable we choose to feel everything and hence are able to honour ourselves to the nth degree.
It’s true Abby, often what we do is ‘keeping push through’ as the phrase goes to avoid feeling things that may or have hurt us. Another phrase that comes to mind which is commonly used is “I’m fine”. Whilst all the time, deep down or not so deep down as may be the case, we are feeling everything, every tiny detail going on around us, and may not want to admit just how much it hurts us.
So true Abby and it is such a joy to treat ourselves with all the delicateness that we deserve.
Absolutely true Abby. Allowing ourselves to feel our own fragility is deeply honouring of ourselves as it does mean we are able to feel absolutely everything that is going on around us.
Yes, Abby, our vulnerability and fragility are gifts from our inner heart and offer us a way back to the divinity we are.
Timely read this morning Anne, having had a reaction to a situation at work. Although it feels awful in the body it does give me the opportunity to feel into what’s behind the reaction and to be even more loving towards myself.
I am appreciating reading this blog today Anne, thank you. I am feeling rather vulnerable today. I took my children to their new school today and my little ones first day of prep. I can relate to your list and such supportive suggestions here.
‘We no longer need protection, just a commitment to feel.’ – It is indeed remarkable when we know we have spent our entire life doing the opposite.
I love choosing to stop and feel. Allowing my body to find its rhythm through connection, then feeling the thoughts that are there. There is so much that wants to come out, or through me.
‘True courage’ indeed, for a man to express himself and how he feels concerning his vulnerability. The origin of the word I found in the dictionary some time ago, to live from the inner feelings, heart, as couer in French. A gorgeous word courage, to live from the heart, rather than all misrepresentations of the word. This leads me to consider how I have viewed vulnerability within myself and how I have attempted to be strong, in control, fearless, and there has been a protection, hardness and force with it, which are now being let go of… A truly courageous woman is being revealed, vulnerability is truly powerful. And the power and connection available between men and woman as they claim their ‘true’ vulnerability and courage, is awesome to consider.
This is so true,…”When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body…” I know some times I have felt I am failing, hanging on to what I think is strong and sorted…when I begin to feel vulnerable, what a trick to play on myself, it s an opportunity to heal, thank you for sharing your experiences.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” Thank you for blog Anne. Perfect timing for me to read. I am just observing many ways to override the tender and sweet woman that I am. Especially dulling down with food but also going into hardness with myself and with others. Overriding and pushing my body. As you say this does not make sense as I love feeing my body and it is about learning, like you described, to find ways to lovingly support ourselves in moments when we feel vulnerable.
Honouring our vulnerability, what a simple yet powerful message. I am learning to feel and honour my vulnerability thus allowing others in..
Thank you Anne for sharing your vulnerability.
The more we let the world in and take down the walls of protection, the deeper the vulnerability we feel of all the horrors humanity has said yes to and have made normal; and the deeper this vulnerability is felt the further we cannot hold back in expressing the love that we are in being fully open and transparent in truth.
Very true, it is part of feeling all that we are able to feel, the awakening of what has been chosen by ourselves and humanity. I am beginning to learn that the more I feel and observe, the ‘not Love’, the more I understand it and view it all rather than get caught up emotionally in it.
I absolutely love your sharing here Adele, much lived wisdom expressed. Thank-you.
What I love about this blog is how through being open to feeling vulnerable, Anne is actually able to build closer relationships with her family. This to me is very beautiful and a great lesson to learn from. Thank you Anne for a great blog.
I have noticed ,Shami, that when I allow others to feel my vulnerability the tenderness and love that is there for me is amazing. I have not always allowed myself to be this as have put the guard up and carried on being the one in control and capable- that feels so yuk now! The latter ensures that a deeper connection with family and friends is forever lost.
The lists you present could be used to block, or embrace anything we feel whether it be sadness, anger or as you are writing about vulnerability. I often have reduced, ignored or suppressed how I truly feel, with the things in your first list so as not to appear vulnerable .
Hear hear Brendan – this comment needs to be spread wide and far.
Thank you for sharing Brendan!
Being able to feel one’s vulnerability brings about a real honesty and allowing in our lives. This allows us to feel more love and know who we are and makes every moment a learning and an opportunity to grow.
I find that when I am feeling vulnerable, I am actually feeling more of what is going on around me, and also more from the deepening connection to my body, often what it is truly asking me to change. From my deeper understanding of feeling vulnerable I am now able to see how it is a strength, rather than a weakness.
I love your love list too Anne. This list would have been unheard of before Universal Medicine, I would have pushed myself in striving to get things done, rather than stop and feel my vulnerability. The interesting thing is I actually enjoy feeling my vulnerability and sensitivity now, because it often highlights something I have been unaware of about myself and it gives me an opportunity to see why I am feeling vulnerable at that particular moment.
– I find it interesting that we are not brought up to recognise our hurts and to express them and to allow for a healing to take place. Instead we are taught to toughen up and that it is the way of life to be strong and not vulnerable. In this complete shut down and contraction of who we are we loose connection with ourselves and with others. This is the madness that we are currently living in. Serge Benhayon is breaking all boundaries and is presenting the Ageless Wisdom with the key foundation that we are Love and designed to be this Love. I am deeply thankful that I was introduced to Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and letting go of all the hard layers of protection and connecting to who I truly am is coming with much ease even if it can be uncomfortable at times.
I love your ‘love list’ of things to support you in your vulnerability Anne – they feel wonderful. I would certainly say yes please to any one of those choices.
The more I allow myself to feel vulnerable, the more I allow myself to feel the beauty within.
Beautiful Anne, this first list could be applied to anything we feel, like feeling tired, upset, unmet. It was timely to read this as only this week I noted that when I’m tired I want to reach for food even though I know doing anything on your second list would support me far better. A quick fix or honouring me? I know what is going to support me in the long run! In that moment I didn’t want to feel what I’d created and honour what my body was telling me, making what I was doing or had to do more important than who I am however that may look. Ouch, such control! Great to see this clearly exposed so next time I can make a more loving choice. Thank you for sharing about your vulnerability, going with what is really a blessing if we honour it for the magic that then plays out around as others help out and step in is precious.
Learning to see all the behaviour we use to hide our vulnerability assists us greatly in unveiling the layers of protection we carry.
Whenever I get caught up in what’s been going on its only as I allow myself to feel my vulnerability do I start to come back to my true nature. I really enjoy hearing about, sharing, talking, reading and exploring the topic of vulnerability as the more I do the more I understand the strength it provides.
The repetition of unwanted behaviours has been written about in many books and often phrased as ‘bad’ and ‘good’ habits, psychologists dedicate themselves to this and patients sometimes have years of therapy to treat this. I read my fair share of these books and attended courses but none brought me back to myself in a deeply fulfilling way as Serge Benhayon’s presentations, books and healing therapies have done and this is largely because the support on offer is not trying to change the unwanted behaviours but address the hurts and the disconnection that both facilitate and fuel the hurts to be there at all.
I can relate to your blog Anne. Recently I saw how I was using behaviours to avoid feeling and that it takes a commitment to stay and feel all there is to be felt and not look to distract and numb, as you listed, there can be obvious behaviours like eating as well as a host of more deceptive tactics like doing one thing we know needs to be done when we really need to be focused on another or are using the activity to avoid stopping and feeling. There is something lovely in your choice to be vulnerable instead, it opens us up to be more open and honest with ourselves and to take a step towards and not further away from ourselves.
This blog exposes to me the disservice I do myself and humanity every time I override the feeling of vulnerability or any other disharmonious feeling I feel in my body with a coping mechanism that buries further the hurt that is bubbling up to be released from my body. When I stop and feel my vulnerabilities I am able to release the hurt that is underneath the feeling and embrace and reconnect on a deeper level with the essence of who I truly am.
I love being vulnerable however, the thing that takes me out of this feeling is the hurt that is there that has not yet been let go. Being vulnerable is such a sacred part of me that I think needs to be protected, or the false illusion that I have to be there for another, when vulnerability as you say Anne is an opportunity to explore those deep sensation of feelings and stay open to be seen by the world.
I can recollect on many moments with groups of people and a joke has been directed at me that is supposed to be funny but is loaded with intent to attack the vulnerability that I am. I find the best way to do deal with this is to stay with my vulnerability and respond with my first feeling.
Exquisite Rik- that by staying with your vulnerability you are able to respond rather than react by shrinking or defending against the assault.
I have come to enjoy being vulnerable over time as I have observed how tender, how real and raw I feel – which just feels yummy….as I am feeling more of me. And I can feel the absolute strength in your words Rik when you describe how you stay with your vulnerability and respond with your first feeling….
Rik that is beautiful – and a great reminder that an ‘innocent’ joke may come loaded with the exact opposite and our body knows.
I have received and delivered many of those one-liners – the ‘cut downs’ thinly veiled as humour. They are designed to toughen us up and avoid living our vulnerability – which is, of course, where our true power lies.
Last few days I have been feeling vulnerable not knowing why or what for. It’s been pretty hard to not override it and numb it with something else. I like what is shared to sit with myself and feel, just accept and appreciate, try the gentle breath exercise. There are so many things we can do, if we just stop and connect.
Yes, and the more we do this without an agenda about getting somewhere (solving the feeling, working out all the whys and hows), the more we feel our place and purpose in life.
“I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” as I have done many times in the past” Yes I know that one too. It feels actually quite abusive to be with myself in that way, I would not say that either to a little child feeling vulnerable. When I do stop and feel this vulnerability it is beautiful and always a doorway to a deeper level of love for and with myself.
You are so right, Lieke -we often dismiss the vulnerability in children as if it is a weakness so it is no wonder that as adults we have problems accepting and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable.
I love what you have said about how we would not talk with a child who is feeling vulnerable. This feels so lovely to treat ourselves the same way we would treat a child that is feeling this way.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ And there we have it. The vulnerability is there to support us not there to deny us what we deserve. It’s time to claim the delicate signals that actually lead us deeply into self acceptance. They are friend not foe.
Thank you Anne, for sharing with us how embracing our vulnerability offers us a healing for our bodies and souls and a deep self-connection of who we are.
Feeling Vulnerable – Feeling Me the title certainly says it all.
Re-reading you list of loving supports Anne, I realized I’m actually developing a deep appreciation for the moments I feel vulnerable. When I feel vulnerable I am choosing to give myself permission to be with myself to slow everything else down and connect deeply with me in whatever way feels appropriate at the time.
It’s space for me to really appreciate being and feeling me.
The title is so apt Anne: Feeling Vulnerable, Feeling More Of Me…
Reading your blog Anne, reminds me of the many times I have felt super vulnerable and actually how delicious this felt, in that I felt very open and I felt very safe, and that I could trust myself because I was feeling more of me.
Well said jacqmcfadden04 – I too feel that an important part of letting ourselves be vulnerable has a lot to do with learning to truly trust ourselves again, knowing that most of us have been abusive towards ourselves, even the slightest expectation or judgment on ourselves is felt by the body as abuse. We have fallen for the illusion to see vulnerability as something ‘weak’, something that needs to be ‘fixed’ or hidden away.
Anne, I can very much relate to your list of ways to avoid feeling vulnerable, as I have done them all myself!
I have felt that if I stay busy, doing things – even if they are not the things that are truly needed in that moment – then it’s easier to ignore what I don’t want to feel.
And there is a fine line between allowing myself to deeply feel what is there – no matter what it is – and indulging in feeling fragile instead of choosing the behaviors (such as in your second list) that help me come back to myself. A line I am learning to navigate.
I agree Julie, it is great to learn ones own list – how to distract and how to come back, when your feeling and when your indulging. I have found sometimes it good to just let myself be with how I feel, and know that it will pass and its not me.
Great sharing Anne and I am appreciating what kind of a nurse you can be – all those illnesses not helped by people holding hurts inside and to have someone who truly understands this and is connected and clear in their nursing work (any work!) is such an asset to the health industry.
I agree Simon. What a blessing Anne is to be nursing with such understanding and awareness.
Anne you are a gift to the Health Industry.
One of the deepest vulnerabilities is to feel evolution being unappreciated and unaccepted in a world where comfort is made to be normal. Vulnerabilities though always open up more evolution for ourselves too, to accept deeper of how the world chooses, and in strengthening the connection with ourselves.
Being and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable always opens up more evolution for ourselves…. and supports strengthening the connection with ourselves. Absolutely true Adele and I will take your wise words into my day!
Anne I love your list of things you do to support yourself to feel that vulnerability, some of them I follow and have noticed how much they support me, but I can see there is room for more time to stop and feel, and connect with that vulnerability and what underlies it all. As an aside, I love the new understanding I have gained over the past three years of the link between fragility and true strength in our bodies.
‘I love the new understanding I have gained over the past three years of the link between fragility and true strength in our bodies.’ Beautiful Stephen G – confirming the fact that men and women are equally vulnerable, we just need to acknowledge it and allow the true power that lies in connecting to what is really going on on the inside.
As a man I have realised that this vulnerability brings up weakness and ‘not man enough’ stuff from times past – exposing really that our body naturally has times it wants to deeply share something and we stretch ourselves so far in the other direction we miss the golden opportunity available to truly heal and step into more of ourselves. Beautifully written Anne.
Thank you, Anne. It is important to feel and acknowledge all the foundational things we have in place to support us when we feel vulnerable.
And slowly allow ourselves to get used to feeling vulnerable again as there is much healing that occurs when we drop into this quality.
Thank you for this reminder Robyn to simply drop into our vulnerability. There is such a sweetness there and a knowing that in this place we are always supported.
Yes, we are absolutely supported when we allow ourselves to simply surrender to what already lives deep within us, and vulnerability I feel is part of the surrendering process.
‘vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ For much of my life I believed vulnerability was wrong and something to be avoided. Connecting to my vulnerable self (late in life) and sharing this with another, was a huge release and turning point that allowed me to really feel me and find a way back to myself again.
I know I can protect myself when feeling vulnerable, which really doesn’t support myself or allow anyone else to support me. It’s the old manly protection mechanism. Often just acknowledging this feeling really helps it to move out and through my body.
Yes Matthew and it really is an old paradigm isn’t it, and it serves no one… It is really time for us to let go and feel that vulnerability, and to feel the strength that comes with it.
It’s interesting how easy we can slip into avoiding vulnerability and it often goes unnoticed, by which time we have layered it with something making it harder to realise that it is there. Like you said Chris, an old embedded paradigm, it’s time to go.
An old habit of mine too Matthew, was to shut myself down so that I did not have to feel how unsafe and vulnerable I felt, thinking I was protecting myself which only served to bury all my piles of hurts. Now I can feel so much more of me when I am feeling tenderly vunerable and at the same time I feel deeply held.
Matthew I do the same being a women, go into protection when feeling vulnerable, which why it’s something I really need to work on and feel to release it from my body.
You’re not alone – I have found that I released some layers and then under this assumption that it is all clear but there is still an underlying protection that pops up. Feeling this protection and when we turn this switch on and then off is craziness, but it is like it is a default mode that I am happy to comply with. Only later have I really felt the enormous impact it has on me and others when I choose to be this irresponsible. Feeling vulnerable in the process has definitely got me feeling another level of who I truly am.
In the past the word vulnerable meant weak and weak meant unsafe and that way of thinking created situations that proved exactly that to me time and time again. By not feeling my vulnerabilities thinking I could push through anything and anyone with a hard, tough exterior shut down to the world and my true self my life was cold and empty. Since I have come to the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine I have learnt to re-connect with my body and feel my deep hurts dissolve allowing me to feel the beautiful warmth and strength the amazing light innocent feeling of complete safety in feeling vulnerable and the joy and grace the releasing of my hurts it brings to my life.
And the beauty is that underneath all of our ‘protection’ is our natural vulnerability. So what exactly are we protecting ourselves from? For me, it seems we are only stopping ourselves from feeling ourselves.
So what are we protecting ourselves from indeed Robyn, a great question because as you say, underneath all of our protection, is our natural vulnerability, and the power and freedom that it brings.
And in order to connect to this we first need to realise that it is us who is the way and no one else, therefore taking responsibility for how we have allowed ourselves to live and presenting ourselves with the opportunity to live differently – more connected, more vulnerable.
As a man being vulnerable is the greatest way of being in touch with my tenderness and love within me. thank you Anne, for sharing the many ways I can support myself in order to stop oscillating and express the love that I am.
‘As a man being vulnerable is the greatest way of being in touch with my tenderness and love within me.’ I love this Francisco – so simple and so true.
Yes Franscisco I treasure vulnerability, and I love bringing that vulnerability combined with strength out into the world, because then it offers the opportunity for other men to feel that within themselves… And this does feel lovely.
I love your revelation – being vulnerable is a great way of being in touch with my tenderness.
Thank you Anne, you have exposed many of the ways we tend to manage life in order to not feel what’s there to be felt, embracing our vulnerability is a powerful thing as it allows us to be the tender and delicate beings that we are bringing more intimacy to our relationships with all.
My feeling is that the more we spend time listening to how our body feels (as in the esoteric yoga class you were in Anne) the more open we become to feeling all that is there to feel, and that can feel very vulnerable. In my experience that feeling is very ‘raw’ because of all the years I had spent doing all the distractins and numbing techniques that Anne listed here.
This is true for me too michaelgoodhart30. I feel very ‘raw’ when I feel vulnerable and most of the time uncomfortable as well, because of having lived so many years in numbness and avoidance of this enormously healing quality.
Yes absolutely to that feeling of rawness but along with it comes a wave of support and knowing that in the letting go I am letting myself be held.
In such a situation, when I feel “raw”, the main challenge for me is, not to judge what I feel. I often do this, but it is so important to feel without judging. The key is really to accept, to observe and feel what is underneath that “rawness”.
What I have come to learn is how I label certain feelings as good and others as bad. The bad ones I pretend are not there and avoid feeling. Recently through a Women’s Esoteric Yoga program I have allowed myself to embrace and acknowledge more of what I am feeling. It has changed so much in my life that I may write my own blog about it. One benefit has been far less complication as I simply am honest about what I am feeling. Thanks for your inspiring blog Anne.
I agree Deborah about choosing the simplicity of what is before me and yes that includes feeling it. But allowing myself to feel supports much quicker clarity and this says a clear no to complication.
Oh yes Debra – ‘the good’ and ‘the bad’ are very relatable ideals I have had. Now I am open to see the ‘bad’ ones as an opportunity to go deeper with myself, knowing they will offer learning and understanding as opposed to seeing it as a failure or something that needs to be brushed under the carpet.
I too can relate to the labeling of good and bad feelings Eva. This also tends to go hand in hand with feeling ‘strong’ with the good feelings and ‘weaker’ when feeling the so called bad feelings. I too am learning that the ‘bad’ ones are an invitation to go deeper – that there is more love to be expressed. I have to bring much understanding and be very delicate with myself as I take these steps.
Feeling vulnerable was something I would avoid at all costs. I can relate to many things on your first list as ways to distract myself from acknowledging it. But that’s all it is, a distraction, and in order to keep avoiding feeling, you need to keep up the distractions. Hard work.
Me too Deborah.. One can’t control life in vulnerability.
I actually enjoy the feeling of vulnerability. It really is a time to stop. I seem to make it okay to stop when I am feeling vulnerable, however I aim to make this part of my rhythm even when not feeling this way.
I am learning to let myself feel how much I love and respect vulnerability and fragility. It is like a dog rolling over to expose their tummy – I know there is huge power in that open-ness as a ‘melter’ of hardened behaviours, both for the person ‘rolling over’ and for those around.
This is so affirming to read, Anne. I loved your last line, “to accept that my vulnerability is an essential part of being me.” It can be very challenging to simply be with it. As a master avoider myself, it’s like I’m prolonging the agony yet I actually enjoy in a mischievious way, my ‘control’ over when and how I choose to feel my vulnerability. It’s like some part of me knows the truth that is awaiting me if I just stop to be with it, but wants to sabotage this awareness and as you say, bury it deeper into my body. The whole scenario is completely ridiculous and I appreciate your insights in how to be allowing, appreciating and accepting of our vulnerability.
Brilliantly honest and exposing Peta – I recognise that game playing myself. I relate to that part of me as my spirit – the part that loves to manipulate, be in control and be mischievous, as you say. The part that is 10 foot tall and thinks it is invincible! Fortunately, the more I align to my soul – the part of me that is connected to my body, to my divinity and something a whole lot more grounded – the more I can be real about what is going on. I love the practicality and realness of the soul: the spirit loves grandiosity and drama and generally leads us up the garden path, and worse.
Victoria, me too, I also love the practicality of the soul. The spirit is very complicated and looks for anything which supports it to detract. The result is that this costs an enormous amount of energy. The soul is so simple and clear and straight.
Aha, I feel you have uncovered another layer of avoidance for me Peta, where I am hanging on to identification by now allowing my vulnerability to unfold and take me deeper – as you say masters at avoiding the obvious and employ so many tactics to maintain our sense of comfort and not reaching out beyond the familiar.
So, a path of ever increasing complication and struggle or a path of ever increasing simplicity and flow… this focuses my attention and puts a spotlight on the madness of any indecision.
I giggled with joy when I read your description of yourself as a ‘delicious woman.’ How lovely to feel that way about yourself!
I found it quite interesting that you have acknowledged these feelings you had as vulnerability, as opposed to getting caught up in wondering what may be wrong with you or the world today for you to be feeling tearful and sensitive etc. I think I can learn to treat myself with tenderness when I feel similarly. I appreciate you sharing your insight, thank you 🙂
I loved that description too Monica – utterly gorgeous. And what you have added is super-important. It has to be made absolutely OK to be vulnerable. Soldiering on, overriding, numbing, pretending, whatever it is we do to not feel vulnerable doesn’t work. Sooner or later what we are denying will show up somewhere, somehow in the body as a condition, illness or depression or similar. As Serge Benhayon has presented on many occasions, the body is the marker of all truth.
I love this blog, it encourages me to claim the sensitivity of my body and allow myself to feel my vulnerability. I remembered it yesterday when walking in the woods and an Alsatian dog came up to me barking. After re-homing a very difficult dog and two hip replacements I became very frightened of any large dog that approached me. Yesterday I saw the dog coming and consciously felt my vulnerability, and stood waiting. The feeling of power was amazing, and all was well. In the end it allowed me to stroke it. When Serge Benhayon walks by me I can always feel his humbleness, his vulnerability, and the power of his presence.
What an awesome demonstration of the power of vulnerability! Thank you for sharing this very potent example, it proves what I have wondered – whether if in the face of a potential attack it was possible to stand very still in one’s fragility and come through unscathed. And yes – thank you for naming vulnerability as one of Serge Benhayon’s qualities. I hadn’t quite identified that but I can feel exactly what you mean.
I agree, Joan, When Serge Benhayon walks by I feel his vulnerability and sensitivity as a strength and power.
When people are vulnerable they offer others an amazing grace which brings out our great care for one another. This is what I love about hospitals.
Gorgeous kerstinsalzer15 and Abby. There is an immense grace that comes when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, as there is no fight or opposition to being open and learning what it is we are being offered in that moment.
Wow, Joan, you have not only shared the power of vulnerability but also the resounding ripple effects of stillness.
Beautiful Anne you share such a gift of simply listening to ourselves and allowing ourselves to feel everything and learn from it by our choices . Honouring our vulnerability is so precious and loving and brings a truth and gentleness to our expression, movements and choices with everyone also.
I feel that too – it is deeply feminine. Yet having just said that, I can feel this same opportunity exists for men, to allow in the same kind of vulnerability as a mark of the sensitive beings they truly are.
I agree tricianicholson, when I am feeling vulnerable I am open to feeling on a much deeper level. For me, with vulnerability also comes a humbleness, which allows me to be more real, and the healing that comes from this is usually quite profound.
How very exposing to read all the avoidance tactics that, like you, I have employed just to not feel my vulnerability. I can see that I use the words ‘vulnerable’ to describe how I am feeling without giving myself the time to really feel in any depth the feeling that I am describing. I am not allowing myself to just be with me and begin to heal the hurts and this is where you are offering us all an opportunity to change and unfold, and that is truly beautiful.
Yes Susan Lee, like you I too am learning to stay with feeling vulnerable and allowing that natural way with what is there to be felt in full, that way I’m honouring how I feel and being very gentle and loving with myself and not dismissing any part of the healing process.
Susan, it is very healing to feel vulnerability as a gift for us to feel deeper into our hurts and sadnesses, rather than a sign of “weakness” which many may consider this to be.
As well as being able to feel more of ourselves through vulnerability, as I find the more vulnerable I feel the easier it is for me to surrender.
Yes Anne, I agree, by feeling our vulnerability we can heal our hurts, and therefore be more of who we are and then reflect this to others.
Ha ha I agree Susan, a familiar list for me too! Yet what Anne describes is gorgeous so in truth there is nothing to be afraid of, only more to be.
That’s a great point Susan, saying to ourselves I feel vulnerable but without feeling into why is missing a great opportunity for us to go deeper and evolve from a buried hurt. Feeling our vulnerability does seem to lead to a deeper understanding about ourselves and how lost humanity is.
Susan, you remind me on – running away from our hurts is not an option. It is so important to feel, what is in our body and to start to take responsibility for that.
I love, Anne, how you list the supportive things you can do to stay open and vulnerable rather than react or shutdown.
The ability to know and feel we are feeling vulnerable is a mile stone in its self from where we have been.
Yesterday I was reminded that I can be vulnerable rather than stop myself from feeling discomfort. Someone reminded me “this is what love is”. Just allowing ourselves to be where we are at without judgment. It was lovely to allow the tears to flow.
This is great Anne: accepting that “my vulnerability is an essential part of being me”. This blog is very supportive as we often try to numb our feelings but simply allowing is very powerful and healing indeed.
Absolutely Brendan – a healing for not only us but anybody that bears witness to such beauty.
A very simple call to feel what is there to feel, at all times. For me, I can ride on feeling great and clear for a while, like smooth sailing and enjoying feeling my body etc. Yet when the time comes to deepen this feeling or look at something presented for the next step, I can freak out and loose balance by choosing to go into patterns of distraction and comfort. Feels like what I’m doing is getting comfortable in the ‘good’ feeling where I could be appreciating it, my work for getting there and allowing myself to know there is more. The challenges and trying times that life presents are not bad things, they can teach us more about ourselves.
Vulnerability is one of those things that I have conditioned myself into thinking is a “bad” thing. Blocking it out and overriding it is much easier than allowing myself to feel it. However, more and more so I am embracing it and surrendering to it. It is still new territory but it’s not so scary and I can feel how much love I have in my life and how tender I am.
True Nikki. We see it as bad but allowing vulnerability is simply opening our heart to ourselves.
Beautifully said Annie.
I too have been feeling more of my vulnerability and what I then do to override it. It could be eating or rushing, but either way it allows me not to feel it. Both of these ‘cover ups’ have effects on my body that I must observe. The smallest of actions to take me away from what my body is truly feeling, means my body has to compensate in some way. No wonder we can end up exhausted or run down – if we do not honour our bodies they need to go to so much more effort just to stay ‘afloat’.
I agree – so often we battle with ourselves, trying not to stop long enough to feel.
Absolutely Ariana, vulnerability is a strength, and beautifully powerful in our surrender to it.
Enjoying vulnerability is a new found freedom – and my body loves it!
Allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable is a moment of grace – the choice to surrender and heal or protect and continue to carry the hurt.
Exactly Shelley, if we open up to feel everything by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, we get access to our hurts and can truly heal them. Otherwise the hurts stay out of our reach behind a wall of protection, which does not protect us from anything at all, though we pretend it out of fear of showing our vulnerability.
Love the simplicity of what you present here Shelley.
And what I’m finding is that to hold the protection is hard work and detrimental to our bodies, whereas to surrender is so allowing of grace…no effort required and so very healing.
Very beautifully said Shelley… “a moment of grace” offering us a choice to heal or hold on to a hurt.
Love this, Carmel – “So much better to appreciate what we have rather than what we have not done.” I think you are onto something there…
Maybe appreciating our vulnerable moments is one of these things we should be doing a lot more of.
Today when I allowed myself to feel me, there was an exquisite feeling of stillness. It didn’t last very long, but it was definitely there and now I have a marker of how it feels to let go of judgement, self doubt, control, distraction etc etc. So much better to appreciate what we have rather than what we have not done.
This is gorgeous, Carmel. These moments are precious and when added to other moments stillness emanates.
“So much better to appreciate what we have rather than what we have not done.” A great point Carmel…we tend to focus more on what we haven’t done, rather than what we have and who we truly are….as what we do is not who we are.
This is so true Paula, ‘we tend to focus more on what we haven’t done, rather than what we have and who we truly are….as what we do is not who we are.’ Focussing on what we have and who we are makes life so much simple and enjoyable, allowing us to appreciate ourselves and others rather than being in comparison and jealousy.
What you help me see Anne is that when I try to remove or get away from my vulnerability – I just get away from me. It’s like we have been given a super-power but because we keep running away from the uncomfortable initial feelings, we continue to think it weak and see ourselves as small. The very opposite of the truth – that with this vulnerability lives our strength and the grandness of us all.
Beautifully said, Joseph. Here’s to unleashing our super-powers…
Feeling something new is always quite discomforting. Understanding that it is just something we have not chosen to feel so far, helps me understand that it’s ok, I do not need to try and control or change it, and that soon these feelings will seem ‘normal’ and I will feel much better having truly dealt with everything from the real me.
Yes Joseph. It is liking running from ourselves, from our love and tenderness.
Our vulnerability is one of our greatest strengths, for in it lays the power of our love. It is our ability to feel all that there is to feel, without buying into the belief that it needs to be shut down and not felt. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is saying yes to love and from here we allow the Grandness of life to infuse every particle of our being. As you so gorgeously state Anne: “…these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” There is much we can use on our path back to love.
A beautifully expressed sharing Anne, and Liane, your words here, Our vulnerability is one of our greatest strengths, for in it lays the power of our love. I really felt the truth of those words, and how, of course there is strength in vulnerability and fragility, they are the steps that bring us back to our own power, our love. It makes sense why the spirit would not wish to go there.
Absolutely it is our responsibility to feel every thing that our life or Livingness gives us as tools to heal!
A gorgeous summary and expansion Liane – which helped me feel that it’s all there for us to use on our path back to love. Even the events in life, or feelings in our bodies are all there to support our evolution back to claiming ourselves as the true Sons of God. It is only our reactions to such feelings that shift our perspective into thinking something is not good or not welcoming to feel, yes it can be uncomfortable to feel something’s but just the knowing that everything is there for us to evolve is reason enough to simply feel.
I can totally relate to this too Jane. I used to make myself very busy to distract myself from feeling my hurts. The list on this blog is really exposing and also reveals how we are very similar in the ways we hide or distract our feelings.
What a gorgeous blog Anne, I was able to feel your vulnerability and therefore reminded of it in myself. The key is to not block how we feel but to honour our feelings and take things gently to support us to heal and work things out. Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience.
“…these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” How gorgeous Anne…our current way of living suggests to toughen up, hide our feelings, whereas there is so much power in feeling what is there to be felt, so much we can learn and grow from when we connect to our bodies and feel what is truly going on within.
I can really relate to this blog. One of my strongest false persona’s is the ‘I’m alright’ one, that doesn’t allow me or anyone else to feel my vulnerability. It was funny reading the list of things you can do to support yourself when you feel vulnerable, as I was realising just yesterday that there is so much we can do. For me it is reconnecting and being gentle with my body. There are so many lovely ways to do this and they instantly bring a tenderness back to the way I am with myself.
I agree Anne, the Ageless Wisdom, Universal Medicine and Esoteric Healing are immense support and inspiration.
Every time I see the title another thing pops up. I’m so in awe with this blog. It’s like an age old longing to allow being truly vulnerable. I am in the process of allowing myself to feel how I’ve chosen to protect me to the outside world. How afraid I am and have been. And by admitting this I also feel that I have a different option, to let go of the hurts that are underneath the fear. I am feeling and choosing more and more often to not just feel the fear but to actually open up to what is underneath the fear. My fear is in the end just a way of coping with something that hurts. Rather then a True solution. In that I am becoming much more still, sweet and tender. There’s enormous power in this which I’ve tried to hide for a long long time. How liberating would it be if I would not have to choose protection each and every day? And what if we would all choose this way of being with ourselves and each other? Wouldn’t the world than be much more loving and a lovely place to be in?
Floris, what a beautiful and insightful response. The loving awareness you now bring to yourself is gorgeous and I think you echo what many of us feel and the fear you talk of I think relates to men particularly. “I am becoming much more still, sweet and tender” – this is certainly felt in the quality of your writing. Learning to let go of our hurts to me is a miraculous thing given how so caught up we are in them and it is also a miraculous thing when we watch the love and tenderness that unfolds as a result.
Thank you Michelle, your comment is very confirming. It is truly lovely to feel how you truly feel the unfoldment of both me and others! Although sometimes I feel that I react when I’m being confronted with being seen, this is actually what I am longing for. Being seen by myself and others. And of course, if I choose to be more me, others will notice if they choose to see and/or feel that.
And I do agree that this theme is huge for men. I’m only recently aware of how many times we’re actually sharing words where as at our body is sharing a completely different story. We’re using multiple excuses and reasons to get what we want, rather than just being vulnerable and share that we love to be heard, seen, touched, listened to, etc. We love that. But are ‘too afraid’ that we’re gonna be rejected. It requires a lot of ‘guts’ to truly let go the guard and change our patterns and behaviours. Where it is at the same time so absolutely lovely to feel every man’s care, love, loyalty, fragility, etc. How great would it be if we would start sharing this along men and not only with the women in our lives?
Once again Floris – truly gorgeous! What you are sharing here is a blog in itself and would go a long way in supporting other men. As a man if you allow yourself to be vulnerable and be at ease with that, allow yourself to be tender and be at ease with that, allow yourself to be open but be at ease with that, you are showing the rest of the world, and men in particular, that there is nothing to fear but fear itself! There is so much to gain by simply allowing who we are to shine through – the sweetness and tenderness you talk of in the previous comment are just a couple of examples.
It’s True Michelle, I’m realising more and more the power and responsibility of the True role model that I am, along with many man I know. Showing our vulnerabilities as well as our power is still huge for Men. I love to have such a great supporter as you are Michelle. I can feel how I absolutely LOVE it – am smiling as I’m typing it – and finally letting it in. It is truly Gorgeous to be connected to all these qualities within me. I still really have to choose the vulnerability. It’s still often that I feel myself contracting, hardening and getting frustrated. An example was tonight where I felt rejected and felt myself wanting to run away, blaming the other, feeling alone, etc. Then I chose to go to the toilet and allowed myself to feel the sadness. Let it out, went back and shared some more sadness with the 2 others. And after that I could connect to what happened to the one ‘rejecting me’. And ‘of course’, she didn’t… There was something that she was struggling with, also feeling vulnerable about it and when I connected to it, she could (also) let go. How amazing this power of allowing feeling vulnerable.
The awareness and realisations we can get to when we are just open to allowing ourselves to feel what is there to be felt are enormous and can break through such strongly held onto hurts, ideals and beliefs. What you are sharing here Floris is exactly what I have been doing to support myself in letting go. In so doing we also get to have more understanding for others and get to support them too. This is the lovely thing about it – when we heal ourselves we are also offering that to others. To me this feels normal and beautifully gentle without an ounce of of recognition in it – just a quiet, joyful and harmonious knowing – a wisdom that comes from our living experience and innate love.
What I love to experience and confirm more and more is that in each and every moment I do have a choice to stay with me and share my vulnerability or to close off and to disappear in my head. Not long ago this happens ‘automatically’. As if there was no choice. Now I can see myself choosing the hardness or not. More and more often I choose to stay open and share what’s going on, even if it is something painful. This feels very liberating and much more real, than acting like I’m untouchable.
This is a super blog. “When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” True words of wisdom! thank you.
Michelle I love the line you’ve highlighted as it shows one of the things we avoid most yet the gift that can ultimately support us to heal.
I can so relate to this one through personal experience. Traditionally, although I would not have called myself this I now know I was a burier! Any time I felt hurt, not knowing where to go with it I would literally swallow it and carry on, building layer upon layer of them and going harder and harder and more resentful and bitter (all buried of course and un-admitted – denial can be a powerful thing!) Learning to acknowledge that I am feeling hurt and expressing it in the moment has taken quite a few years to learn and it is something which continues to unfold for me, but I am starting to get the knack of it and know that when I truly honour how I am feeling I can either let the hurt go immediately or allow myself to be in the awareness of it, without judgment, allowing events to unfold so that I can ultimately let go of it.
It is no wonder we struggle with this allowing of our vulnerability. We are taught from an early age, ‘don’t cry’, ‘suck it up’, etc. Nowhere are we taught to stop and feel first and foremost. We would save the NHS hundreds upon thousands upon millions of pounds if we stopped burying what we feel and actually learnt to deal with our feelings and issues as and when they came up.
This is gorgeous to read Anne. I can see that vulnerable moments can provide opportunities for me to step up the love in my relationship with myself.
I agree, reading this blog has completely changed my perspective of being fragile.
Beautifully simple, Anne, a real testament to the power of letting ourselves be vulnerable and staying true to what we feel.
Feeling vulnerable is a great window into the true power that lays waiting beneath it.
I love it when we get to a place within ourselves and we can feel the vulnerability and instead of going into shame or defiance and hiding it by being tough you simply allow yourself to feel how humbling it is to be vulnerable and let yourself go with it. The more I feel this the more I can sense there is much to let go of and to just be me.
I agree Natalie there is actually a very sweet and loving surrender that is there just waiting to be part of our feeling vulnerable.
Feeling vulnerable is something I’m discovering more and more appreciation for.
It is like feeling sensitive, a perfectly natural feeling to have and truly appreciate for the awareness it offers. It’s not something to be avoided as a label or judgment that there is something wrong with me, like knowing I’m sensitive -I treat feeling vulnerable as a gift.
i love what you share here Sandra. I am learning too more and more that allowing myself to feel vulnerable is no bad thing. It supports me to allow what is in my body to feel, so I can let it go. It also supports others, giving them permission to feel what is going on for them too. I feel it is a bit of an eye opener if you are someone who buries your feelings with lots of distractions and hardness to come across someone who simply allows themselves to be with how they are feeling with no shame around it or any hiding with it. The honesty is refreshingly healing.
I love what you’ve shared Sandra, this really is a awesome way to appreciate our vulnerability.
It’s interesting that as you say Sandra feeling vulnerable is a perfectly natural feeling yet for so many of us we shy away from feeling it and think that something is wrong with us for feeling vulnerable. If we bring our children up where we encourage vulnerability, then this will change the face of how humanity perceives it.
Indeed Donna not only may we change our view on how we perceive or judge feeling vulnerable, we may also put a stop to having so many reactions or ways to protect ourselves from others and life.
Anne being vulnerable and expressing how you were feeling and accepting support felt so much more gentle, loving and open, compared to suppressing how you were feeling. Feeling the discomfort of vulnerability in your body is way more evolving than being comfortable and ignoring your body.
I love how exposing this blog is for me. Vulnerability is not something I have been that open to in life, protecting and trying to control has been the number one strategy. However those moments when I have allowed the vulnerability to be, when I have been more committed to exploring and unfolding with the moment, there have been tears not just because of the vulnerability but because of the joy and heightened awareness of the beauty within myself and others. Making friends with vulnerability allows me to take my foot off the brakes in life and open up to the flow and expansion that is forever beckoning, and this I could certainly do more of.
Me too Golnaz, very well said. A beautiful reminder for me here to let go and experience my vulnerability, to allow openness and expansion more and more into my life.
Great to put those two adjectives together Brendan as it shows us that there is actually nothing to be avoided (see Anne’s (very typical!) list of distractions) other than healing.
Yes I find it interesting that with all the distractions and numbing nothing changes except for building layer upon layer of hurts that only have to be felt into sooner or later to come off. The clogging in one lifetime could be pretty extreme! Far more expedient to allow the fragility in the first place and to deal with what hurts on the spot…
Well said michelle819, a beautiful reminder for when we feel the old pattern surface of wanting to avoid our vulnerability.
Feeling our vulnerability is so much more loving than putting up our protection.
I agree Jane. For me to squash my vulnerability I have to create a hardness in my body, become busy and keep everyone at arms length so I can ‘control’ the situation. The last time I felt vulnerable I openly expressed this to my family and allowed them to support me. The love in our relationship has grown more and everyone in the family can feel it.
I so relate to that too lindellparlour. In fact becoming ‘busy’ particularly around my family is now like an alarm bell asking me to stop and feel my body.
Absolutely Jane and yet for so many years I had the picture that protection was getting me some where. It took until Universal Medicine for me to realise that protection simply keeps me in my hardened state and stops me from feeling and buries my hurts deeper.
True Susan – being vulnerable feels very real, because it is who we are underneath the layers of protection.
Having spent most of my life avoiding feeling vulnerable – stuffing tears back down, numbing myself with food, I am coming to terms with the fact that it’s OK to feel. A moment of discomfort and then a release, and a feeling of deep connection to the true me. Wow. Instead of beating myself up for my lack of attention I am celebrating the moments when I clock a thought that doesn’t belong and can then look underneath to see and feel what I was avoiding.
“I woke up feeling very vulnerable – I was tearful, head-achy and I felt fragile and sensitive to anything that was being said to me. The smallest comment would bring me to tears.” I had this experience this week, normally I would override and get on with my day to then later feel really awful. But this time I stopped and gave myself space to connect with me. I went to work but was very gentle and also had an early night. This allowed me to connect to my sensitivity and appreciate. What I realised that it was not a weakness to feel vulnerable or sensitive.
Beautifully expressed, Amita. It is so nurturing to not discount these moments but to connect with them and support yourself when feeling this way and this allows a deeper connection to yourself.
Beautiful Anne, it’s amazing how we can so easily bury our vulnerability, and the millions of ways we can do this. Looking at society in general we are masters of hiding our vulnerability, maybe that is why we have such disharmony and illness and disease rates because when we hide our truth we create great harm.
Feeling vulnerable does not necessarily have to equate with being pathetic or holding yourself as a victim of life. You have well shown Anne how through allowing ourselves to connect with our fragility or vulnerability we give ourselves the opportunity to deal with and heal any hurts that we may be carrying, and in that take greater responsibility for how we are in the world.
Anne, I find that this is a big one for me, ‘Denying that anything is wrong when asked by my family and not asking for any support or help’, I have noticed in the past how I have stopped myself from feeling vulnerable by not admitting that I am, this felt very hard and meant that I was not truly being myself with family and friends because I was pretending everything was ok when it wasn’t, it felt like a pride that I could not show that I was vulnerable, I am changing this now and am much more honest, it feels lovely when I do open up and ask for help, it feels very natural to support each other and not be ‘soldiering on’ alone.
That’s a great point Rebecca. We have this belief that being vulnerable means you’re a ‘sitting duck’ or the weakest one in the pack. It has a sting of isolation about it, but when you accept you feel vulnerable and ask for support, it’s actually creating a connection with others. This is something we naturally do – we offer support to others when they are feeling vulnerable. It’s the responsibility of the person experiencing this vulnerability to either accept the support or deny the support and keep everyone separate.
This has also been my experience lindellparlour. I expect to be judged or criticised when feeling vulnerable, but without fail, I actually get support from simply sharing and letting others in.
I like the point you make about creating connection with others. This is so true.
I agree lindellparlour – showing our vulnerability is opening up for a deeper connection with others and my experience is that if I allow myself to be vulnerable I do not need to ask for support, but that support is being offered.
It’s kind of a part of our sixth sense. We can pick up easily when someone needs support and we naturally offer it without any hesitation.
I can very much relate to that, Rebecca. I recently found myself not wanting to say to my family how tired I really was and how I truly felt at the end of a working day. For me, it was about not wanting them to worry or sympathise – but feeling deeply, I could see how I was the one who was already imposing on them with this anticipated/imagined worry that may or may not come about. And how that might be already stopping them from allowing themselves to be vulnerable.
It’s interesting how housework is something we do to avoid something. I often do it to procrastinate doing something else.
Housework is one of those seemingly tedious tasks that in reality is quite magical simply because of how good it can feel once it’s done. Our home is potentially the place where almost everything about us can be workshopped and developed… so keeping it clean and tidy is a very healthy thing to do.
I love this, Dean & Jinya, because it is so true. How we are in our home is the foundation we take out into the world.
Interesting point Jinya, it always depends on the quality or intention we have in doing a certain task. On one hand it may be an avoidance of something we dont wish to deal with or on the other hand it could be a very supportive thing to do housework as it provides a supportive foundation for our bodies.
I love who you share here, Ariana. To see vulnerability as a gift is truly accepting and making a choice to go deeper.
One aspect of feeling vulnerable may be watching our thoughts and whenever a thought that makes that being vulnerable ‘a bad thing’ to notice whether that thought is true or just another false image.
Yes Christoph, I have to watch when I am feeling vulnerable that I don’t judge it so then cut it short and not get the true healing moment.
So gorgeous Anne, love your honesty in your first list, found myself relating to quite a few of those distractions (!) Awesome admission for growth. And your learning here is completely invaluable – “What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me” – and there is nothing more beautiful than to be back home.
“Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body” this seems like a perfect highlight. We feel so many things and a lot happens in our body. Not making this wrong, and just being able to accept it, would make life so much easier.
Accept the ‘bad’ as well as the ‘good’ and we can begin to work with the ‘bad’ and heal it. In the past I felt that I had to sweep the ‘bad’ under the carpet (or bury it under layers or protection!) but it is not until we truly feel the ‘bad’ that we can let go of it and move on. And yes, how simple life would be, and could be if we acknowledge that what our bodies are telling us is the truth and work with it and not against it.
True Sandra, if we work with it and not against it so much can happen. The ‘bad’ is also not really ‘bad’, but something we can simply learn from. Change the what is not loving by recognizing it into what is loving.
Allow, appreciate and accept. Three very magic words.
It is the opposite to which so many of us have been taught, “allow appreciate and accept what is happening in my body”. It seems that we have glorified how the mind can over ride what is the body’s natural order, for a short time anyway.
I have recognized that so much Jenny- how we champion drowning out what our body is telling us. Sport and exercise is one where listening to how the body is, is not to be allowed, or accepted.
A gorgeous and insightful blog Anne – you say ‘What a list! And all this to stop me from feeling my vulnerability, and because I was overriding what I felt, all the hurts would get buried in my body again.’ – these lines alone describes why mankind is at constant war.
Vulnerability can be uncomfortable because our choices are there to be felt. Yet when we surrender to allowing this and feeling beyond the hurt, there is the gateway to us feeling so much more of ourselves. This is very beautiful.
Oh yes Ariana, especially as a man you think you have to be tough, cool or nothing can touch you. Like if you were not human but made from asteroids.
In my teenage years I felt inside very vulnerable but couldn´t show this. So instead I used to do a lot of sports to not feel the pain. But now my body shows everything. So I can start to reconfigure my body back into his natural sensitivity.
Thanks Anne for the great article and the honesty that comes from and within it.
In my vulnerability I feel, that I am a living and highly sensitive being instead of a non feeling machine
Absolutely Katie. When we feel something – sad, frustrated, upset, worried etc., there are so many different things we have on hand to turn to in order to bury the feeling and not look at it. These distractions do not support us to move forward in any way. It’s actually very liberating and freeing to look at issues as they arise, rather than bury and cause a build up!
I am constantly finding this blog a rich and deep source of inspiration – thank you!
I have come to a place where I no longer avoid feeling vulnerable, in fact there is a freedom and a sense of surrender in it that I deeply appreciate.
Isn’t there Alexis. Choosing to surrender to our inner selves and own wise counsel is hugely freeing and empowering.
I love your comment Alexis – I can feel just how constricting it is for us to have to constantly hide or protect our vulnerability and our true essence.
Feeling vulnerable is definitely a step back towards the deepest part of us.
It is the gateway into the Kingdom within and hence why we tremble at the threshold, for we know the nature of that which we leave behind when we do so and it is all that has given us comfort in the past. Feeling vulnerable is a sign that we have left our comfort zone and are ready for the next step in our evolution.
It certainly is and I can see how it has started to change the way I am living my life. Letting go of all those expectations that I have put on myself and in then a complete hardness and front is put on to make this happen. All the while leaving the true essence of being able to feel vulnerable and to feel safe doing so. This has been liberating for me and can feel there is much more I can allow with this too.
Yes, gorgeously said Alexis. I too am embracing vulnerability.
When I allow myself to feel vulnerable, I have found this to be true as well Alexis.
Ariana if, as you suggest the sentence ‘Vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me” were to actually be placed in sporting venues and if sports men and women were actually able to adhere to it then sport as we know it would disintegrate ! Not only does sport ignore vulnerability but it actually thrives on kicking vulnerability in the teeth !
Anne thank you, I can very much relate to your list of behaviours to reduce vulnerability… it is definitely something I have not felt comfortable to feel very often, let alone show others. A beautiful sharing that reminds me there is something about vulnerability that allows others to relate and to see more of us… there needs to be more of it without a doubt… note to self here 🙂
Jenny what I feel here too is that by allowing ourselves to show our vulnerability for ourself and others we take down the picture we want to show the world of how we think we have to be. With that step we are living more of who we are and everyone is blessed by that.
Yes David… everyone is blessed by that. Without fail the notable moments of connection with others occur when I am most open, not attempting to be seen in a particular way. It brings out something equally gorgeous in others, and the moments this is shared are gold.
I agree David everyone is blessed when we live more of who we naturally are. For me it feels like my family are waiting to see more of me as they can already feel and see the loving potential within me. They are patiently waiting for me to see the same thing.
Agree David, by taking down the picture of how we want the world to see us we allow more true intimacy in our interactions with others and that is worth celebrating.
Yes David, simply put, we are being more honest, and that opens the door for others to be honest too. Definitely a blessing, where we can all start to take down our guards and just allow ourselves to be.
Thank you for sharing this reflection on vulnerability Anne. I have found that when I am feeling vulnerable that I too can create a list to avoid the feeling, however, when I surrender to the feeling of vulnerability and truly accept it the way forward becomes clear. For me, accepting the vulnerability is the most healing aspect.
So true Ariana, I remember you sharing a comment that there are not enough corn chips to fill that hole and I often hear that when I am shovelling in something to not feel what is there to be felt and I realise it will never be enough. Surrendering to what is there is the key – and to do so with no judgement of what comes up.
Beautifully said Ariana. Yes there is no amount of food big enough to avoid feeling – though I have tried piling abuse on top of the vulnerability to hide it -this hurts and needs constant application. However, when I am feeling vulnerable and I honour this, I get to appreciate what a precious gift it truly is.
And how deeply precious we all are equally, this certainly needs to be presented and re-developed in schools and education so that all Boy & Girls – Men & Women can reconnect to this simple truth.
“Accepting feeling and the simplicity of feeling vulnerable is giving ourselves the most precious gift.” And there is a surrender that happens when we allow ourselves this precious gift. We are no longer fighting who we innately are, and life has an ease and flow that is naturally there.
I agree Lee. If I get onto doing things to avoid or distract myself from feeling vulnerable, it feels like a huge thing to do to let myself feel vulnerable. But when I accept that this is how I feel, it no longer feels too big to deal with. In fact it feels lovely and brings such tenderness to my body, to accept this as part of me.
The power of acceptance..
I’d like to remember this comment next time I’m trying to fill a hole with food 🙂
Well said Ariana, going for the snacks is one of my patterns also. But these days even the act of eating to avoid feeling has become old and boring, and is a way of putting off the inevitable.
So true, Ariana, and because the feelings we are avoiding don’t go away, we need to keep eating which then causes complication with weight and health.
I know for me there is such a strong temptation at times to put my hurts on hold in order to get on with what has to be done in daily life. I have done this sometimes for weeks, months years… it brings into question the purpose of life. Is life simply to do things and get things done and be busy until we die? Or is life about developing who we are and our awareness of our divinity?
Andrewmooney26 I love your response, as I can absolutely relate to putting hurts on hold or chopping them off before I have truly allowed and felt them, just so I can move onto the next thing that needs to be done. And then there’s your beautifully timed reminder, that life is about developing who we are and our awareness of our divinity. Your expression here is truly appreciated.
I agree Julie. When I feel ‘doing things’ or developing my knowing of divinity through my body and lived ways, there is no comparison. I find people who are dying often have this clarity and perspective. It is not the things they have done that matter but the love and connections they have made that count.
So true Julie, Andrew’s comment is such a great reminder that we are not ever truly moving on if we do not deal with what has been felt in the moment. It will only return to be felt and dealt with in another moment in the future, so in fact it is a delay to overlook our hurts in order to get down what is there to be done.
Awesome comment, andrewmooney26. A brilliant, brilliant question: is life about getting things done, or is it about developing who we are and awareness of our divinity? And what I am finding is that the more I develop the awareness of who I truly am, the getting things done part naturally happens – as who we truly are inevitably includes everything and everyone else and there is responsibility that needs to be accepted as we go. It really is a question of what is driving us.
Yes Fumiyo, are we driving with ideals and beliefs of how we should be in this world or are we in the understanding that we are here to evolve and that being part of everyday society is to be who we truly are first and foremost and the rest comes after.
Great observation Fumiyo. There seems to be a belief that the two are mutually exclusive. But we can be developing our awareness through feeling and at times being vulnerable and still be doing what needs to be done in life.
It is a great question. I notice when I am in drive I can do many many things but it comes by being in a state of disconnection and busyness. When I choose to be with me and let go of what I want to get done not only do I get the joy of being with me, what actually gets done is quite remarkable – so much so it doesn’t make logical sense.
I like your comment Andrew how we can spend a whole lifetime doing things for others and completely missing the true reason we are here.
There is something really special about staying with our hurts, this gives me space to understand them and the more I understand them the more they release and I am left with a deeper love for myself and all others.
I wouldn’t so much say “stay with my hurts” although I know what you mean. I have been finding that when hurts come up for review I have the choice as to what I will do with them. I can either bury them (but that seems silly since they bothered to come all the way out for me to look at) or I can take a look at them. But by taking a look at them I don’t necessarily need to stay with them. I can review them, recognise that they are not me and let them go. I don’t need to stay with them as the simple truth is they are not me.
Yes Abby – there is a claiming of what is going on and thus greater awareness of who we truly are. Recently I have realised that the more I expand by clocking what I am feeling and claiming the truth – the more the outer world shrinks in it’s power over me.
Great points andrewmooney26. There is a pull sometimes to ignore, bury and/or deny our hurts and pains as I know for a fact that nearly every time they get brought up, it can be exposing of the way I choose to live as being their very root cause – simply just not being me.
I love the simplicity here Joshua, it is in those moments when we have the choice to feel or dull/distract. And if we choose the dull/distract then we will find ourselves being offered the choice to feel – over and over again, until we do.
Rather than the choice ‘to do’ all the time, the choice to develop ourselves and our connection with divinity offers so much grace, joy and beauty – when this is felt, the choice becomes a no-brainer.
I love your question Andrew. I see a picture of us as human being running around and doing, doing, doing and it looks sometimes really like that. It is a great question because without being settled inside the doing can be very hard and a struggle. When I make it about developing who I am and my divinity there comes a spark of joy to life that makes everything flow more. It simply just does not make sense to make life all about the doing.
A great question Andrew and one for us all to ponder deeply no matter where we have got to in our daily life. This is a huge step for mankind to consider, however a very necessary one.
Great comment Andrew, ‘Is life simply to do things and get things done and be busy until we die? Or is life about developing who we are and our awareness of our divinity?’ Wow I can really feel how being busy until we die is common, that life can be about getting through the day and coping with everything that happens and that developing who we are is rarely taken into consideration, it almost feels as if there is not enough time for this with our busy lives. Much to ponder on here.
I find being vulnerable may have little to do with my hurts – I am simply open and not used to being this open and noticing things I didn’t notice before and this can be very uncomfortable.
I agree. Vulnerability for me is when I am surrendered and open. I allow myself to feel what is around me, which may be hurts or it may also be huge amounts of love.
Good point Christoph vulnerability is not just about hurts it is about embracing our incredible energetic awareness and sensitivity. Sometimes we freak out at our amazingness or when we are shown immense love by someone else! I find that if I leave anything undealt with emotionally then it slows the process down and makes me fear my awareness. Currently the world is not 100% loving so there will always be things that ‘hurt’ us but if I remain open, surrendered and vulnerable then I find I am less likely to hang on to these hurts and less likely to fear being open and vulnerable and fully aware of everything in the next moment or situation I find myself in.
Yes Doug, and if we buy into the drive, we actually miss out on connecting – not only to the purpose of life, but to the gorgeous qualities that we bring, that are not any more or less because of what we “do” or achieve.
Absolutely, it’s a lose-lose situation.
It is to feel but also to get on with it. It is also to get on with it but also to feel. A bit like using both feet when walking. We get much further.
This is such a great question andrewmooney, and one that makes us stop and really ponder on. I for one have been caught up in the ‘being busy to get things done’ while overriding the call to develop the divine being that I am. That is changing, thanks to the teachings of Serge Benhayon, who is consistently and lovingly asking us to be more.
In getting caught up in the doing of life and using my drive to get things done, I have at times missed totally the purpose in life and it has always been at my own and others expense.
This is huge Doug and we are then left with the need for recognition rather then true connection. A game we choose to play over and over again.
Absolutely Doug it is one big set up that perpetuates itself as you have described so well. There have been many times when I have been in a situation just content being me and have felt a strong urge to do something to prove my worth in some way. It’s like my presence or expressing from who I am is not enough and I have to do something special to make others notice that I am amazing. Our whole world is run on recognition but it does not have to be this way.
Andrew you beautifully describe what we have made life about. We keep ourselves busy all the time so we do not have to look at the things that actually need tending to, the relationships with ourselves and others and living more of that what truly resides within us instead of burying it deeper with every distraction at hand.
I love the final question in your comment Andrew. Many of us question the meaning of life, but still continue with our mission to be busy getting things done. This blog and all the comments bring up lots for us to ponder on.
Andrew your comment is so to the point – ‘to put my hurts on hold’ – this is exactly what we are doing, and not only that, the world around us is expecting us to do it. To get on with things and deal with the stuff when it is more appropriate, just not now…
aaghhh is all I have to say! No not really, Andrew I know this one all too well, using busyness to avoid stillness, feeling and in truth taking responsibility.
I know vulnerability and sensitivity are often seen as a great weakness but as described in this blog they are great strengths. There is true power in developing our energetic awareness.
No wonder men run a mile from vulnerability and sensitivity, we are caught in the bubble of always showing our strong side, regardless of how much pain one is in.
I know Matthew and it is crazy because by going hard and pretending we are actually not sensitive (even though we do feel every gesture, look, action and word) we actually give up our power and our ability to be fully aware of what is before us. So then we struggle more to cope with life and this feeds the coping strategies of hardness and protection even more. It is a viscous cycle that can only be broken by honouring our fragility, sensitivity and vulnerability.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ It is lovely to accept that when we are feeling vulnerable we have an opportunity to heal the hurts that we hold.
This blog has come into my conversations with people this week. It is one of those ones that stays with you and that is useful to come back to over and over. Many people are appreciating the powerful simplicity of this blog. Thank you Anne.
“Being vulnerable AND showing this can cause a reaction that will knock us back to no more wanting to be vulnerable” – that’s what I could have said yesterday in a situation. It isn’t always easy to live it – but always worth it! That’s my result!
Vulnerable moments are there to support me. I had never allowed that to be true for me in my thinking before and yet my experience over the past few years has shown how very true it is. Allowing myself this vulnerability and staying deeply honest when I feel it in relationship to others and expressing to the best of my ability is life changing and love changing.
‘When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body’. We can become aware of our choices not to feel which affects the quality of our life.
Great reminder. I had such a moment yesterday. After a long day I came home clearly not hungry, but I started to take some snacks and watch a series. I observed myself, but did not stop. Instead I went on with what I was doing. In hindsight, and actually in the moment itself, I could feel I was dulling myself. I am having a ‘hard time’ being and staying with the grandness, stillness and lightness which I am experiencing within me. And to be even more honest to feel the hurt of the many years where I have dulled and numbed all of that. So next time, I will go with your way: stop, connect to my breath, my body and feel what there is to feel.
There are so many seemingly ‘good’ things that need to be done but if we do not do these things in the right timing or coming from a true impulse then that are just that…a distraction and we are not listening to what the call is.
Thanks Anne, I felt you exposed some behaviours I have in the examples you gave. It’s great to shine a light on the things we do that doesn’t truly work.
What you have expressed here, Floris is truly beautiful. Thank you.
In stillness we have the space to feel our vulnerability, it’s no wonder we avoid it.
Yes Donna spot on, in stillness we feel everything, including our vulnerability… it does make perfect sense we avoid it, however in avoiding it we also avoid feeling who we truly are, the grandness, beauty, harmony, the love… and put like that makes no sense at all!
Our body is continually offering us opportunities to heal our hurts. I am just realising how often I choose to ignore these opportunities unless they stop me dead in my tracks and instead find myself eating or indulging in one of my many other time wasting distractions. Having pondered on your story I recognise my pattern of switching from task to task but not completing anything when there is something bubbling up inside me rather than sitting and feeling and allowing the hurt to fully surface.
I used to see vulnerability as either being weak, or being susceptible to being hurt but now that has completely changed. From experience I know allowing ourselves to honour what we are feeling including vulnerable, fragile and sweet is actually a strength and empowering. I am seeing more and more how we live in a ‘toughen up’ world, especially with teenage girls. I now know completely differently though, that it is actually harder living the ‘toughen up’ act instead of allowing our vulnerability.
In a world that is harsh and hard at times, it is easy to see vulnerability and sensitivity as weaknesses. However it is through these that we develop our energetic awareness. When we become more energetically aware we can observe and read life much more clearly and not take on the emotions of situations and other people. Therefore vulnerability is a great strength and asset to have in life.
I love how you bring in the bigger picture here Vicky. Now we’ve felt and, or are learning that it is actually okay and very natural to be vulnerable, we are to also inspire others to allow their vulnerability as well. In whatever way’s possible. Living as a role model is such an important thing here, this tells more than 1000 words. If truth is shown, in whatever way, people connect and will remember. If they like it or not in that instant doens’t matter. They do remember.
Allowing vulnerability is the opposite of going into doing. So stillness is the key. No distraction just pure being.
Ah yes Ariana we have gone to extremes to make sure those vulnerable moments do not surface. And yet they still do and we are blessed, because they are the moments that show our true self underneath all the hardness and control we have invested in building our world.
It’s such a joy to read of being vulnerable as it reflects and confirms to me that this is ‘normal’ to feel this at times. For a long time I had the picture of having to be always Love. Whatever that may be, but vulnerability was definitely not in the box. Let alone showing my vulnerability to others. At times I did, but in general I found it very difficult. Today I talked to a friend of mine and when she asked me how I was, I started crying. How liberating to allow myself to just express whatever was there to express. And what a blessing and support to be held by my friend. No words needed, just silence. Thank you, this blog is super confirming and has inspired to grow my acceptance of my own vulnerability.
I feel your love Floris, when you speak about being vulnerable…it also shows us the truth about the moment, when we think we are love, but in truth we are hurt. The acceptance of being hurt, leads to the true healing by our inner love
When reading your beautiful comment and confirmation of my Love I could see myself going into “what did I do?”. Where as when I stopped this and started to feel again, I could feel how naturally my Love actually is and how beautiful when this is let in by someone. I feel honoured in that Stefan. Thank you. This is something that I’m not used to feel between men. Maybe because men find it difficult, maybe because I’ve not allowed myself to feel it. Or both…
Anne, I can so relate to your list of distractions that you have shared that you use to avoid feelings that may come up in your body. I have used so many of them, together with a few more of my own. A big one for me is to have a quick snack. All so I do not feel. How crazy is that? I am beginning to learn to appreciate and let myself feel when I have feelings of vulnerability come up, learning to give myself the space to truly feel it and accept that I am vulnerable. Thank you for your list of ‘go to’s’ that you find support you to let yourself feel your vulnerability. I will print those out for daily reference and add a few of my own as a reminder.
Yes so true Beverley, we can go to such extreme lengths to avoid our feelings, I am sure we can all add our own distractions to Anne’s list. I too find Anne’s ‘go to’ list very inspirational and lovely to hear more from others to as to how we support ourselves to feel our vulnerability. It is such an essential quality to honour.
Beautifully said Susan “There is no guard of protection, so it feels very real to be vulnerable.” As Matthew Brown shares above, we are taught to present our best side and effectively not be who we are in full. We judge vulnerabilities as a weakness and assume that others will too. We also have ideals of how we should be, so we reject how we actually are. All of this simply gets in the way of being our real selves.
One of the things that has been getting in the way of my connecting to my vulnerability is the pattern of putting others first. I’m still not stopping to take a moment for me, being so caught up in being there for others.
I love that Ariana, definitely should be advertised everywhere, especially sports stadiums, I expect there would be mixed responses, but all would feel the truth of it.
We make it seem so easy to distract ourselves from feeling, and we can think it so hard to allow ourselves to feel, and yet it is actually the opposite. It is actually easy to allow ourselves to feel, and we make it complicated and hard when we distract ourselves from that.
I could relate to so many things on your list of things done to avoid feeling your vulnerability! I noted more this week and how it really affects my body. I’m making a solid commitment to make choices honouring of my vulnerability and sensitivity, as this reflection is so very needed, as it is for my body also.
Indeed Amelia – it is very revealing when we open up to honestly look at the choices we make to avoid feeling vulnerable.
A beautiful sharing Anne, and a great reminder of how easy it is to override or bury our feelings of vulnerability, rather than truly honouring them as a valuable aspect of who we are. As you say, “…vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me..”
Thank you Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine for giving me permission to feel my vulnerability. I have been feeling so many feelings that I was not allowing myself to feel. I have wanted to feel these feelings for so long. Thank you Bina Pattel for supporting me in this process.
Vulnerability is my focus in life too… How automatically we behave and don’t allow to feel what is really going on. A great sum up of all the avoiding strategies. Thank you!
These lists seem to be a common theme – we put ourselves under so much pressure and yet how often do we construct a list like the second one… all the things that help to reconnect us and feel fully ourselves again?
Oh Simon, rarely. And if we have one, how easily we slip things off it. We slip things off that are good for us. Crazy paradoxicality.
Good point Simon, you have made me realise that I am far quicker compiling a list of things that need to be done, rather than a list of things that support me to be me.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” That is a powerful expose of the pattern that gets played out for all of us, time and again. We are of course given another opportunity to address the issue as we go round and round and it comes up again. So the question is how long are we going to delay?
This involves a huge learning in trust and letting go. After the initial anxiousness, I can feel a substance that grows out of sticking to what is true, instead of hanging onto something that might look good on the surface, like being in control.
One of the most common behaviours I can use to distract myself from feeling vulnerable is to indulge myself with food.
The two lists you have provided here of your behaviours and choices appeared to me like a pros and cons list. With these pros and cons, how could we not want to choose our vulnerability. 🙂
‘And all this to stop me from feeling my vulnerability,’ There is so much we all do in life to avoid feeling this. As I learn to allow myself to feel this vulnerability I am seeing it as a doorway to deeper wisdom, for in the vulnerability I see the next true step, instead of another of the many side steps taken to avoid responsibility.
Lovely to read your blog Anne and feel how heavy, constraining and numbing those first choices are in contrast to the loving spaciousness created by your choices in the second ones.
Anne I’ve been allowing myself to feel more the fragility and rawness of situations and my body compared to how I think I should be. It’s far simpler and I’ve noticed has meant in those times there is no self critique and frustration that otherwise takes over. Honouring what we feel, something to be fostered from young.
I love the simplicity and clarity in this article. It has been a support and a reminder for me since first reading it. Thank you.
Thank you Anne, Your blog just hit the spot this morning. I am printing it off to take to work!
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ What a beautiful reminder Anne that acceptance of our vulnerability supports us on our return to our true selves. I am familiar with most of the avoidance activities on your first list and love your second list of supportive choices for me to come back to next time I feel the urge to override/squash my vulnerability. Thank you for sharing.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me. When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.’ -– Feeling just how beautiful vulnerable moments can be.
What would be, if there’d not only be moments of vulnerability, but a life led by vulnerability. We always think we then would cry all the time or would feel weak.
What I realized is that it is an allowance to feel everything what is there in that moment. That ‘s it … No weakness or pathetic behaviour..
It is such a gift when others share their vulnerability Anne, I feel a deeper acceptance for myself and old patterns. We are all so much the same, all vulnerable, delicate and fragile at times, and how tender we can be when we let go of ‘how I should be’. Thank you for choosing to write this nurturing blog.
I agree Bernadette – when we share from that space we are being open and honest and everyone around us can feel that, and respects that. It’s a reminder for me that there is also that fragility within me, if I but take a moment to feel it.
That’s true, whenever someone shows their vulnerability I melt in me too… How beautiful to remind each other with this.
This is true Steffi, when someone shows their vulnerability, i love them more, and often a deeper connection is made because of this rawness of truth being shown. It is precious and inviting. The issue I’ve experienced myself is that of being concerned with what others might think, as if vulnerability is to ‘lose the plot’ because of a picture or ideal about a perceived position of strength, or wisdom no longer being there i.e. that there’s a failing of us with them…..Which means that vulnerability and the resulting preciousness cannot be there. When we deeply accept who we are, lose the tiring perfection, all there is, is everything to be loved.
I know exactly what you are talking about- the picture we created about ourself what we want to be fulfilled keeps us trapped in these separative behaviours. To stay cool and tough is nothing but separation in us and to another – actually reflecting: it is ok to not show yourself in full.
Yes Bernadette sharing our vulnerabilities holds such honesty and inspiration. It allows us to see the equality of love we all are within.
We dislike feeling vulnerable because at that point we can feel the ill momentum of what we have allowed to enter our body. And that does not always feel great.
I can feel this too, Adam. Vulnerability is a bridge to clearing some of this ill momentum if we allow it to be in its expression.
Ouch, but very true. So when we avoid our vulnerability, we are not wanting to take responsibility for our past choices, not willing to be entirely honest with ourselves.
Yep…honesty should not be a big ask but it is. It may be because we are afraid of people’s reactions but that can’t be the whole story because we are not even honest with ourselves. Perhaps, as Adam and you have said here, the honesty is hard because we have to accept responsibility that we have made a choice to go with a momentum that has clearly harmed our bodies.
Absolutely, the moment I allow vulnerability I feel instantly how much I went against me before and how much I missed ME.
That is a big ‘ouch’, Adam, but thank you for expressing it. It is the big truth, yes, “we can feel the ill momentum of what we have allowed to enter our body”. I can attest, that does not always feel great and how often we quickly distract ourselves so we do not have to feel it. It is time to let myself really feel that vulnerability, actually when I do give it the time, it is a lovely feeling, I feel more of my own essence.
Moments of feeling vulnerable are in fact the beautiful moments in our life where we connect deeply with our being and I too find them challenging in the beginning. You describe so beautiful Anne what these moments actually bring to us, as they are great moments to heal any hurt that surfaces and to show us the way back to where we come from, a vital and joyful life and in connection with the all.
Beautifully expressed, Nico, yes, “they are great moments to heal any hurt that surfaces and to show us the way back to where we come from, a vital and joyful life and in connection with the all.” A great support for me to let myself really feel these feelings of vulnerability which I am becoming more aware of this past year. A great opportunity to me to heal more of my long-hidden hurts.
I too have discovered how important it is to honour myself when I feel vulnerable. It is easy to shut down, I have been an expert at this. Now I am in the process of mastering honouring me all the time especially when I feel vulnerable. Expressing this to the world and allowing others to see that I am feeling vulnerable has been hard for me but has in fact been beautiful, allowing for deeper, loving and caring relationships and connections in my life.
The fact is just being a human being we get to feel vulnerability every single day, and we have the opportunity daily to go deeper into our own depth of connection and power, indeed how powerful is that?
Super powerful!
Wow seeing vulnerability as an deeper connection to our power, this does feel super powerful. I am getting to understand that vulnerability is our heightened sensitivity and fragility, rather than going into reaction just allow the body to feel and go deeper.
Amita- I too can really feel how powerful claiming our vulnerability is by surrendering our body and letting ourselves go deeper in connection to our soul, and not choosing reaction instead.
Absolutely, we could indeed expand and expand every day… Actually not logical at all, that we avoid this expansion and deepening by distracting us with doing, pressure, recognition, toughness… The list goes on and on…
Enormously powerful, Adele, how simply put, thank you for the reminder that “we have the opportunity daily to go deeper into our own depth of connection and power”. Beautiful. Yes, it is so important for me to feel my vulnerability every single day. No more hardening so I do not feel it.
Adele, that’s true. We get the opportunity to feel our vulnerability every single day. It is not something which only happens on special occasions. Thank you for pointing this out, as I just got aware of it.
Absolutely Adele, we do feel the vulnerability every single day but we do not acknowledge it, we see it as the enemy. When we stop brushing it under the carpet and start seeing it as an asset to go deeper in our own connection to ourselves and to truth, it is truly powerful.
“I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” as I have done many times in the past: but today I decided to allow this vulnerability to be there and to deeply feel it.” I can particularly relate to this feeling of vulnerability this morning. I can feel that there was part of me that went into the “got to get up and get on with things”. However this morning I decided to go back to bed and feel what was there in my body and myself to be vulnerable. Within choosing that I felt a clearing in my body and another layer of healing. There is so much to be said for honouring our vulnerability.
I agree Donna. For a long time I would fight against my vulnerability, feeling I had got something wrong and this would then take me further down the road of self destruction. Anne has shown here there is true power in accepting our vulnerability and allowing it to support us in healing our hurts.
Love what you are saying here Donna, a healing can really be that simple.
Allowing myself to be vulnerable is allowing myself to truly be, no ideals, no beliefs, no should dos or could dos, just a deeply honest awareness of where I am truly at. This is very empowering and very liberating. Nothing at all like what I ‘thought’ being vulnerable was.
It is actually very empowering and liberating to allow oneself to feel one’s vulnerability. It is actually the very opposite of what we might have in memory, as it is a moment in absolute truth.
that is a good point Jenny we do have ideals about what it means to be vulnerable and to be honest mine were mostly not pretty pictures but ones labelled ‘pathetic’ ‘sad’ ‘weak’. Rather than actually being present and allowing yourself to feel what you feel. I think what is significant is when we start to feel there can be a fear that we will be the feeling for ever or it will be too much feeling but what I have noticed is if I let myself feel it in full it passes quite quickly much less energy required than keep pushing the feeling down!
“Nothing at all like what I ‘thought’ being vulnerable was.” Great point Jenny. Most see vulnerable as weak. But there is a power in just letting yourself be. People feel and respond to this.
I agree Emily, people do naturally feel and respond to our vulnerability. Which makes me wonder why we have this image of weakness when it comes to feeling vulnerable.
An awesome blog Anne, one I’m sure many could relate to. I have to often remind myself when I am going into usual distracting behaviours that not feeling the vulnerability hurts my body and me more than simply allowing myself to feel what is there to be felt and healed. It is a great reminder to come back to all the tools we have been presented with over the years by Universal Medicine and to trust and accept that feeling vulnerable is part of the healing process to reconnecting back to our true essence. What is not love must come out of the body and this can at times be difficult, but it is well worth the process when you come through and feel all of the real you.
Our true feelings always come from our entire body, and not Just our heads.
Lovely blog which shows how complicated or how simple life can be depending on our choices.
Super well said Abby. How can we only listen to the part when there’s a whole?
We are taught to ‘get on with it’ and shrug off any feeling that doesn’t present our best side and even move on without even considering why we feel a certain way. Every one of these feelings is a beautiful message very worthy of being with, no matter what it is, they come from us so why ignore them.
I agree, by moving on before actually considering why we feel a certain way, or giving ourselves the space to feel it, is it any wonder we often find ourselves emotional and overwhelmed, needing a break from life or those check out times, because there is so much we are feeling but not looking at.
There is a huge difference between registering you are hurt and feeling the fact you are hurt. When I feel the fact I am hurt every part of me wants to support myself to heal.
I agree Abby, when you actually feel the fact you are hurt by something it gives you the opportunity and space to do something about it
Rebecca, this is so true. I am well known for saying “It’s fine” but in truth many times it’s not fine. The honesty is coming about by giving myself space to feel what I feel, rather than continually pushing down and over-stepping what’s coming up.
I agree – and I experienced this this morning when I had a dream that left me feeling off, and instead of pushing it to one side I honoured my feeling and went to find my mum to talk about it.
This is so true Matthew, ‘We are taught to ‘get on with it’ and shrug off any feeling that doesn’t present our best side and even move on without even considering why we feel a certain way’, I hear this all the time, ‘get on with it’, it feels the same as ‘toughen up’ to me, it’s like saying just ignore what you are feeling and pretend everything is ok, I see this at my local school, it’s very much about getting on with it and not allowing children the space to be vulnerable and fragile and to talk about how they are feeling.
The “getting on with it” is a mask that many of us learn from a very young age. A mask that we choose in order to hide and protect ourselves from feeling the hurt of what is there in the first place. Being vulnerable is the key to peeling off the mask and showing ourselves in full.
I was certainly brought up to ‘get on with it’, so I learned very early to ignore those feelings that came to me which I now realise were my body’s way of sending me beautiful messages about how I could/should be looking after myself. It was an era where it was selfish to think about yourself, women especially were expected to put others before themselves. The past few years for me have been a complete re-learning of how tenderly to treat my body as it is a vehicle for my own connection to divinity. It is made of all the particles of the divine and it is my responsibility to truly look after and nurture it for its true purpose.
I can feel how in the past I have been very sensitive, so I made the choice from a young age to shut down because it was easier for me to deal with. We do promote that self care is selfish, but more and more I ask why. Because if I am not content in myself, if I am not full of appreciation for myself, then I will be the first to look for other people to make me happy or fill me with what I am missing. So it now makes sense that to self care is not selfish, it is actually a celebration of who we are which in turn allows us to celebrate others without imposing.
I love this Beverly “the past few years for me have been a complete re-learning of how tenderly to treat my body as it is a vehicle for my own connection to divinity. It is made of all the particles of the divine and it is my responsibility to truly look after and nurture it for its true purpose.” that is a wholly different way to look at the body and its purpose, and the responsibility is to not keep dumping into the body.
I can relate to what you said Beverley as I was also brought up to ‘get on with it’ and not make a fuss. Interestingly, I noticed the first list that Anne wrote had me nodding like the Churchill dog on the car adverts and it highlighted for me how easy it is to go for distraction rather than staying with the uncomfortable feelings. I now know that by opening a purple book written by Serge Benhayon, my body relaxes into the deep innate knowing that by going within, the answers rise to the surface and that there is no need to go anywhere outside of myself.
So when we push through in the mere function of life, we are ignoring our connection to divinity.
Great point Matthew, if these feelings present there is absolutely a message in it for us. It is no wonder life becomes so hard and complicated when we become caught in the belief that we have to ‘push through’ or ‘get on with life’ rather than honouring and feeling what is there in the body to be felt and healed.
Well said Jade. And we a taught this from a very young age. It’s interesting that we have to be taught this though – meaning toughening up or pushing through is not a natural way to deal with how we are feeling.
Yes great point Matthew, we rarely allow ourselves or others to embrace vulnerability unless they are sick but that is so far down the track. Whenever I have had back pain and I am forced to be more aware of my own fragility I treat myself with so much more tenderness. I share how I am feeling more, I dress myself with more care, the difference is an enormous, or at least it used to be enormous. Blogs like this one have really supported me to not take pain as part of life but as a living conversation with my body. One I can learn from, so that perhaps I maintain the level of care and support for myself as normal…till I am offered another opportunity to see there may be more. No more getting on with it.
I totally agree with you Matthew, we are taught to shrug things off and get on with it – whilst reading your comment it reminded me of a situation at work which has become very drawn out and complicated, but it did give me a moment to stop and feel why and where the complication is coming from. Situations which become complicated are also dismissed as not important, but without stopping and feeling what is there to see we just seem to ramble from one complication to another.
You’ve really nailed it here Matthew – no wonder self worth issues are sky high, we have incessantly repeated to our bodies that it is giving us the wrong signal… when in fact the body can never give us the wrong signal, it is delivering the truth of what is going on in our bodies, it being vulnerability, resistance, openness or any other feeling.
This blog just highlights to me how complicated we choose to make life – when it’s simple.
I agree Susan. I have a pattern to avoid feeling me in reacting constantly, especially like Anne is sharing to comments or behaviours from family members or friends. It is a learning not to react but stay truthful with me.
Beautiful gyllianrae! Life is so simple when we allow it and accept what is there. Why do we make it so complicated? For me, when I make things complicated it is because I don’t want to accept the ease that is available. I think that life has to be a struggle or difficult so I make it that way until I realise what I have done and then allow my life to flow again without the complication.
Well said Gyl. We go into so much that we really don’t need to. All to keep us preoccupied with anything but what we are feeling.
Dear Anne, this is one of the most simple yet profound and beautiful blogs I have ever read. The impact it has had on me today has been immense. It made me instantly stop, switch off my computer and feel me – I let myself feel everything, the sadness, vulnerability, fragility, and also appreciate how delicate and precious I am. By allowing myself to feel all if this, and honouring it, the solidness, presence and clarity in my body is immense.
‘We always have a choice’ This makes me feel joy, it’s one of the most beautiful things to live.
“We always have a choice” has become a favorite well used phrase for me too gyllianrae having spent much of my life thinking that I didn’t have any choice at all. How wrong I was, and how common it is that most do not know this simple truth. Once you wake to the fact of choice nothing is ever the same again and there is much joy and beauty in living according to that knowing.
I became aware of the many behaviours I could have gone into to reduce this vulnerability, to bury it back down again”, for example
Denying that anything is wrong when asked by my family and not asking for any support or help” I would do this all the time, to then bottle things up inside me to explode at a later date. I always felt I had to be strong and vulnerability was for weak people.
Life is really really simple – like really simple when we stop and feel. Its amazing and actually saddening just how far we go with all the crazy and ridiculous complications we call in to avoid being ourselves.
And also how exhausting this is.
As someone who has been ‘miss independent’ most of my life, exploring vulnerability or allowing myself to be vulnerable has and still does not come easy. Especially when it comes to asking others for support. But the truth is that we see so much more within ourselves when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable – rather than living up to an image that ‘it’s all ok’ and because of that we are much more open to understanding ourselves and others.
“Stop and just feel” – Just in these four words you have offered the world the answer to everything.
Strange as it may seem to our everyday way of thinking, we do feel more ourselves when we feel vulnerable. Feeling vulnerable doesn’t mean that we put ourselves into situations where we are deliberately harmed, but it’s a vulnerability re feeling raw and exposed in the complete honesty of what we’re feeling.
Thank you shevonsimon, for making this clear to me, as we think being vulnerable is equivalent with being weak and prone to abuse, but the fact is that when we feel vulnerable we connect to the rawness of our essence, which is who we truly are and which is that powerful that we do not have to be afraid of being abused in any way, shape or form.
Thank you Anne for a lovely blog, making the choice to allow the vulnerability to be there and to feel deeper into the hurts so they can be felt and cleared. I too override these feelings at times, and fall into the old pattern of just getting on with it, not honouring where the body is at.
Thank you Anne, letting go of the protection in our bodies and embracing our fragility is not an easy task if you have made life about survival or bettering oneself. Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable helps us to understand our own delicacy and true nature of our being.
It isn’t easy especially when the body goes into almost natural behaviours of protection that we sometimes don’t even know are happening. Deepening a connection with our body allows us to feel more of what is truly going on and helps us to stop the distracting behaviours that harden us to what is there to be healed.
I get a picture from your words Anne, that our vulnerability is like a gift to us. Yet so often we throw the present out and find issue with the wrapping paper. Your account and simple lists are inspiring me to accept the beauty of my vulnerability.
That’s true Joseph as our vulnerability exposes false layers in how we have been living. A question that I has just come up for me as a write this is, so what would happen if I simply allowed myself to be that?
Love the picture of unwrapping my vulnerability and appreciating the gift I have been given, thanks for sharing Joseph.
Love it Joseph, it is a gift, we just don’t realise that it is.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable is honouring where we are at to give us the gracious space of connecting deeper to our love within.
Anne, I love how your article clearly shows that we always have a choice to be responsible for what we are feeling and work with it or deny what we are feeling and miss an opportunity for healing. The choice is always ours.
Dear Anne, this is so lovely and supportive 🙂 I guess the nut eating that happens recently quite a lot may have to do exactly with this…thank You for inspiring me and I will explore now my vulnerability, too.
We are constantly shown by media and society that somehow a stop moment, to feel vulnerable is a weakness and total no no. And yet in our fragility and vulnerability there is a lot to be learn about ourselves.
Being tough means being confined to the cage of our own walls of protection, being vulnerable allows us to roam freely.
I love your words here Michael where you say, being vulnerable allows us to roam freely. It does indeed, and can help us to deepen into fragility.
I agree Michael there is so much space with vulnerability. We have somewhere we can choose to go and explore possibilities and choices, the freedom in our bodies is tangible. Protection for me means contraction in my body, tightness and tension and this gives me no scope for movement except to feel more of the same and then my body and my mind start to ache.
Very true Sandra. The outplay that happens with tension and pain in the body far exceeds the pain and discomfort of feeling a moment of vulnerability. It is a hard momentum to break but one that can truly set the body and mind free of unloving thoughts and behaviours.
Being vulnerable was never really appreciated in my family. We were taught to harden ourselves against life’s difficulties. So to understand that vulnerability is a healthy part of my expression feels true. lt makes sense to me. lt always felt out of balance for me to supress this aspect of my nature.
Anne I love your list of the things that can support us to feel rather than bury. We can be aware of the times when we go into activities to push away the feelings that are surfacing – so what I love is that you introduce these moments as ‘opportunities to heal the hurts/wounds’ that are sitting in the body.. to bear this in mind also is a huge support in that moment where the choice to be vulnerable or not, arises.
I agree rosannabianchini, it’s great to see these written down, I know myself that I can often choose to not take responsibility for the fact I know I am doing them.But when seeing them written down in front of me there was no hiding.
Great point Gyl, that seeing them written is more tangible – which highlights the mind’s ability to be dishonest!
Great point gyllianrae, that seeing them written is more tangible – which highlights the mind’s ability to be dishonest!
I love what you have shared here Anne. Today I allowed myself to be vulnerable too, and with it came the desire to hide and bury but the healing from choosing to honour that vulnerability and hurt was huge. It was amazing as through feeling this vulnerability I felt myself begin to feel more deeply the beauty and truth of me. As you share our vulnerability can be key to allowing us to come back to ourselves.
This blog is a beautiful reminder of the fact that we always have a choice how we respond to life. We can ignore our feelings and bury them deeper by entertaining distractions, or we can stop and feel and support ourselves in any of the loving ways you have mentioned. The key is to be aware of which path we are choosing.
‘The key is to be aware of which path we are choosing.’ So true Rebecca and I love how this blog offers so many practical suggestions about how we can support ourselves lovingly.
Yes, this is so true, Rebecca, that we always have a choice and feeling our vulnerability allows us to feel and be aware of our choices and which path we are choosing.
Great blog Anne, vulnerability is very interesting as you have shared. It is as if we have to make a concerted effort to not feel it as we have so many tools in place to avoid it. Every time I feel like eating something when I am not hungry I ask myself. . ‘What is it that you do not want to feel?’ This has been quite remarkable as I have learned so much more about myself applying this simple line of questioning.
Thank you Anne for writing this blog, a subject I have been looking at recently. With all the support that is there around and from within, reacting to what we feel is not necessary anymore. We don’t even have to go far and wide to find such support as our choices that are with us everyday in every moment are there for us to react or respond and in this we can show others that vulnerability can be related to in such a way that isn’t constantly like sitting on a pressure cooker.
It is beautiful to feel you honouring your vulnerability by simply allowing your self to feel it Anne and a lovely reflection for us all.Thank you a great sharing and I am learning to appreciate feeling my own vulnerability also and honouring this.
‘Stop and just feel, to spend time with me’ is my gift for today
Great sharing Anne, so many of us, me included, seek and have sought distraction when I felt very raw and vulnerable. Usually this is when I think what I am feeling is too much and I cannot cope. But in that moment when I say no to the food/distraction immediately I get to see a deeper level of the picture and so get a more fuller understanding and so do not worry about being able to deal with it or not. I have found it is much better to be aware of everything that is going on than not to be, even if I may not always want to see what I see!
This is very revealing Anne. When I put feeling vulnerable in the ‘weak’ bracket I try to find ways to ‘snap out of it’ but when I allow vulnerability to be an honest acceptance of how I am feeling underneath the layers of protection it comes with a strength in the delicacy of who I am and asking me to be very tender with me.
I know this of me too Mary. There is a marked difference between the two ways of looking at feeling vulnerable and the outplays of both couldn’t be more different. When I allow and surrender the vulnerability actually serves as a support system for me which is truly beautiful.
The title for your blog Anne ” Feeling Vulnerable, Feelin me” resonates in me such a sensititivity to my vulnerability, so lovely to feel and acknowledge, thank you.
Our old ways of dealing with things so that we can get on with it, no longer hold the sway that they did. What were we trying to get on with anyway? It is so important to not bury the sadness that we feel, or any other feelings. We don’t have to indulge in any emotion about this, just feel it, understand what it is and appreciate that we are healing those hurts that we have carried for so long.
I love the simplicity of your comment Amanda, ‘It is so important to not bury the sadness that we feel, or any other feelings. We don’t have to indulge in any emotion about this, just feel it, understand what it is and appreciate that we are healing those hurts that we have carried for so long.’ This makes complete sense and feels like a much wiser and more honouring way to deal with our sadness rather than overeating or distracting ourselves to not feel it.
It often seems like our feelings are deemed as unimportant when compared with “getting things done”, and especially if what we feel that day is interfering with doing those things, they can be considered a nuisance. We seem to be so geared to measuring our worth and the worth of others by what they do and not who we or they are. This rejection alone creates a pain in our lives and is something that we then have to heal. There is no strength in carrying our hurts around like some kind of badge of honour, nor in burying them so we can show a brave face to the world.
“There is no strength in carrying our hurts around like some kind of badge of honour, nor in burying them so we can show a brave face to the world.” That is a brilliant way of describing what has become to be the norm Naren, and both ways are evasions and unwillingness to feel what is really going on and just creates more pain and distress and builds up more protection. Whereas the way the Way of the Livingness offers, as expressed by Anne, is clear, simple, real, and exposes the truth for us to feel. This brings healing and a new way of being of joy in self and in life, and supports everyone else in a loving way, instead of a reacting to either the badge of honour or the burying with either antagonism or sympathy.
Yes, Joan. There is a way laid out for us to feel life in a way which not only supports ourselves, but is so very supportive to those around us. That includes everyone from our family and partner, to the person at the checkout. No one is left out when we act from what is felt.
‘There is no strength in carrying our hurts around like some kind of badge of honour, nor in burying them so we can show a brave face to the world.’ This is a great point Naren, we have learnt to hide our true feelings and see it as ’brave’ to deny what our bodies are telling us.
We often seem to revel in celebrating the abuse we put ourselves though, somehow convincing ourselves that by overriding what our bodies are telling us, we have somehow mastered it and are not its “slave”. It is crazy.
“What are we trying to get on with anyway?” Excellent question Amanda Woodmansey. That pulled me up having been a very ‘get on with it ” person. Something to ponder on today.
Anne great blog! With many habits, patterns, ideals and beliefs to be looked at and relationships like with my old friend comfort to be cleared. It’s a joy to know the indicators we receive, like feeling vulnerable are one of the tools for us to learn from.
I have been a master of numbing my feeling so fast that I could barely catch myself doing it, it was such an ingrained pattern. With me bringing more awareness to my body I am able to catch myself checking out shutting down which was my old pattern. By bringing myself back and taking responsibility for what I am feeling more and more all of the time I am able to be more present with myself and heal my hurts rather than avoid them.
What a beautiful and sensitive blog… “When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body..” This does respond in me while reading deeply. It is always a step of free will and the focus on love. Knowing that it is even more hurtful to keep on burying these hurts than to face them and let them go.
So true Christina, it is so more hurtful to keep burying these hurts than to face them and let them go. In starting to understand how life is so much about cycles (24 hours, weeks, months, years) and it is not this straight line where you bury something at one point and walk straight away – that everything comes around again and again – has supported me to address things and not leave them buried.
“Everything comes around again..” – until we get it: that’s what my mom used to say. And get it feels like: face it, feel it: and let go. Well said*
Face it. Feel it . Let go. I like it, Thank you.
Sounds like a very powerful yoga, what I know from Esoteric Yoga is that it is like no other. It is not about pushing, striving or body postures but really gently and lovingly supports us to reconnect with our bodies and honour ourselves more. The slightest movements are very profound. I would love to hear how this unfolds for you.
Thank you Anne for your blog, I love your list of ways to support yourself, very inspiring.
Oh, I can relate to that list of ways to avoid feeling things! It does seem sometimes that due to something feeling uncomfortable, the decision to bury it under some kind of distraction is the easier choice than to just let myself feel what is actually going on. Regardless of the lack of logic behind that since what is buried will just sit and wait for me to get around to dealing with it, slowly festering and becoming a much bigger and more complicated issue than it was had I dealt with it. We do like to make things complicated for ourselves sometimes!
But the simple and supportive choices that we can make in these situations, even when dealing with old issues and hurts, are actually just as easy to make and are the way that we are able to bring to life the changes that we often crave in our lives.
Thank you for this beautiful blog Anne which I could relate to so much. When I felt the understanding that vulnerability was a strength and not something to be dismissed and squashed, my whole life changed and I felt that I was being myself – my tender precious self – for the first time since childhood. Like a new born deer I felt wobbly on my feet at first as I had prided myself so much on being really functional and tough – however the strength, flow and confidence that I now feel through allowing my vulnerability is so amazing and I know there is more to deepen and feel each day.
It is such a switch to embrace vulnerability as a strength and let go of the front of toughness and resilience. I can relate to the flow of confidence that you describe Sarah when I allow my vulnerability.
Great comments Jenny and Sarah, As I am starting this process of vulnerability and can’t believe I would walk away from something so precious I am seeing how easy it is to put the armour back on when life gets intense, so I am keeping things super simple and simply working on surrendering throughout my day.
I find it amazing that feelings that have been relegated to weakness are actually our strengths when honoured and embraced in truth.
I have found that too Sarah – through allowing myself a greater honesty with what I feel and accepting a greater sensitivity I actually feel stronger and more confident.
Sarah you have described this so well, I love the new born deer bit, it feels exactly like that. Who would have thought that vulnerability is actually a wonderful gift which opens the way to true strength.
Those lists could be handy hanging up on the pantry door :-).
Yes very handy on mine too Jeanette.
“… vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” I have found accepting my vulnerability a hugely liberating realisation as not only is it supportive in my healing but also in lessening my reaction to go into anxiousness.
Anne when I read “I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” I agree when put so simply and clearly it does not make sense to miss an opportunity to heal. I can feel that in the past I have separated my hurts and wounds into two different categories and ‘treated’ them differently. With surface wounds and physical hurts or aches I would seek some form of medical attention be it a band aid, antiseptic, visit to the doctor or other medical practitioner, dentist or who ever was the professional or wise council that I feel is the most suitable for the required treatment. I have introduced awareness and understanding to care for all my hurts and wounds with equal loving, tender responsibility.
Thank you Anne. It was great to reflect on my own way that I deflect feeling my vulnerability, and I certainly have been feeling this of late. I know I can be this way, and still feel so supported, but it is a process of developing trust that it is ok to be this way in the world. Crazy isn’t it, that we don’t even feel ok to be in our most natural state in the world? We really need to reflect on the world that is being created, by us as human beings, when this is the case.
This is huge Amelia and a very important point made, and yes it is crazy however it has become the ‘norm’ and because of this it is therefore not normal when we are vulnerable so the more we develop this ourselves the more the world will have reflections of what we have walked away from.
Thanks for this point Amelia – I too feel that developing trust is key, and first and foremost learning to trust ourselves and our own choices i.e. the way we choose to treat ourselves.
It takes courage and commitment to allow ourselves to feel our every move and not just stop at joy.
Your blog made me feel how many times we don’t allow ‘bad’ feelings to be ok. How there is a drive in us to squash them and make us feel what we are not, instead of allowing all to be a richness that is us.
I can relate to this kimweston2. Accepting that being vulnerable, fragile and delicate is equally a part of me as is the beauty, power and joy is a process and indeed it does allow the full “richness that is us”. Appreciating this part of us and allowing ourselves to be seen in this way actually shows it’s own strength and power.
‘Allowing ourselves to be seen in this way actually shows it’s own strength and power’. I love this Simone, it’s shows how we have bastardised feelings into being something negative instead of seeing them as a strength and power.
Squashing anything keeps them intact, just hidden; facing and dealing with things allows them to truly be gone, kimweston2 you are spot on, it all comes back to self-honesty.
We can go to so much effort in at attempt not to ‘feel bad’ and boy oh boy does this use up some energy. I have done this so much in the past. By surrendering to what is there and allowing ourselves to be vulnerable it creates space in our body and an opportunity to let go.
Anne you point out the fork in the road I often feel. The moment I can choose love or disregard for ourselves. Your list of distractions could have been mine and many times that list I have used this list. The more I choose the later list I’m finding the more that list is getting used. It’s like I’m getting to know the list, the more I know it the more I have trust that it’s a friend and not a foe.
I know that “fork in the road” all too well kimweston2, and the choices that present themselves at that moment, the moment as you say “I can choose love or disregard”. To finally know that at every fork there is a choice, and that choice is mine, has been life changing.
I have found it life changing too Ingrid, it brings total responsibility back to us for our lives, and every fork that comes before us.
There is huge power in the moment that we have an ‘awareness of choice’. It is both smaller than a moment and as vast as the universe.
I love that bernadetteglass, ‘it is both smaller than a moment and as vast as the universe’. So true, it can be a very powerful snippet time.
I am learning again to appreciate that we are part of the everything so everything, absolutely everything we do, think and feel matters enormously despite us not being conscious of this enormity.
Absolutely, we are all learning again the immense responsibility we hold in all we do.
“Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” Building relationships with our feelings like tension, anger, overwhelm, sadness, frustration, sensitivity are all indicators of something to be looked at and honoured. It’s our bodies way of communicating, we have been taught to put these feelings aside and override these messages as ‘ not happy or positive thoughts’ but it’s part of the whole to be deeply considered and from there an opportunity to heal and clear, not dismissed, shut out and masked with false smile which only builds the hurts we then carry.
Awesome point merrileepettinato. We are a whole. To return to being whole, we have to accept all the parts, every single one of them.
It is amazing the lengths we go to to override the wisdom that our bodies are continuously giving us. We may succeed in masking the symptoms that then arise, but the chances are that eventually we will get stopped in our tracks by illness, disease or injury. How much simpler and wiser would it be to actually listen in the first place!
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense” And it does not make sense to me either, Anne. Yet so often I still do this. It is crazy. What a wonderful opportunity it is to heal those hurts that still lurk in my body, so why do I do this, what am I afraid of? Much for me to consider here.
I agree Beverley and Anne, it doesn’t make sense to not want to heal or look at what’s trying to come to the surface. Especially when we know how different we feel when something is truly dealt with.
I loved this article and its deep delicacy!
Absolutely Karoline, I related to this article deeply and was touched also by the delicacy of the relationship with herself that Anne described.
Me too
Allowing vulnerability is a powerful process…
‘Allowing vulnerability is a powerful process…’ I agree Karoline, which in turn means that everything that we don’t allow results in us bringing in a force against ourselves. We are building a road block in the middle of our bodies by attempting to not allow what is actually already there.
Love it Karoline and Alexis.
Beautifully expressed Alexis. I am realising more and more how hard the resistance to vulnerability makes me and my body. It is such a defensive ‘road block’ and the force necessary to sustain it is harmful physically and in relationship with others.
It is definitely a process, with consistent commitment to honouring ones sensitivity feeling vulnerable becomes more and more natural.
Interesting isn’t it how it is something so natural but from young we deny and push it down to the extent that it becomes unnatural and we need to then let go of the layers and masks to allow it to be felt and expressed once more.
We often put up so much protection and defence and we may not realise it and yet underneath that most yearn to feel connection and to just be ourselves. To be open and feel our fragility can leave us feeling raw and sensitive, but at least it is real.
Maybe it is because we know that we may feel raw, fragile and very exposed if we let go of our wall of protection, that we hold on to the wall for so long. The wall becomes so familiar that the thought of it gone is too scary. Taking that first step and allowing yourself to feel your vulnerability, the rawness is, in my experience, the first step to truly healing.
I can relate here and as the majority of the world does not live in the raw, fragile way it becomes easier to think that it is normal to be hard. But on the contrary it is more that we are just not living from our natural selves.
It’s so crazy really how we cling to our baseless ‘fear of the unknown’. When we truly connect deep inside ourselves we know that we actually do know.
Oh yeah Shevon – I know this behaviour only too well. It’s time to make changes and as you say “To be open and feel our fragility can leave us feeling raw and sensitive, but at least it is real.”
Yes Anne, the key is when we do feel vulnerable, allow it and SUPPORT ourselves. Reading this, I can’t wait to feel vulnerable so I can be this without wanting to run the other way! Inspiring to be vulnerable.
Your gorgeous Karoline – it is beautiful to feel open to our vulnerability and actually want to embrace it lovingly rather than block or numb it by hardening against our natural expressions.
Never thought of it that way !
Yes Karoline – I have realised that in the past I ‘feared’ being vulnerable because I had created in my mind a false picture of what this looks like with a whole story attached to it. What you have offered here and that Anne has identified is that there is an amazing beauty and strength that unfolds, just like the rose brings such beauty, tenderness and inspiration. Great discussion thank you 🙂
So true ch1965 The pictures we create to manage life keep us from the very place that we need to be – in vulnerability we are sensitive and open.
The false picture is the one that we tell ourselves.. lying to ourselves about how we are truly living. When the vulnerability is allowed, we then have a marker for what is really going on, the choices we have been making up to that point and so we get an opportunity to choose differently.
I second that Karoline. There is so much to appreciate in life, having opportunities daily in feeling vulnerable, how blessed we are to have these opportunities to self-initiate.
I agree Karoline – ‘allow the tenderness and support ourselves’ – for me it has also been a lot about allowing others to support me, learning not to see it as a defeat to not always deal with the things entirely on my own.
This is a beautiful sharing written in the delicacy of vulnerability. I too have known myself to react to vulnerability, I want to pull the walls of protection up…but over time allowing myself to feel vulnerable more and more, and letting it do its work, something happens in this healing, I start to feel full, solid, and expansive, more of me and this is exactly what happens. As I allow the vulnerability to do its healing, then more of me is there at the end of it…like the delicacy of an opening rose in all it’s vulnerability and once it blooms in full, it is magnificence in its own quality!
Karoline, that reaction to vulnerability is so common in many of us, I know I’ve had and still can. It takes some getting used to, to embrace the vulnerability and understand and know our strength in that, I know when I do it there is a greater depth and quality to my connection with me and the world.
Yes I always felt vulnerability to be something that I want to push down and deny and often numb with food, I saw it as a sign of weakness, now I see it as something empowering.
Each time I learn to let go and just allow myself to feel and not try and stop it or push it away, I feel more myself and more empowered, and as I feel and allow the vulnerability I feel more of everything else too, it’s like I’ve turned up the lights in all areas by allowing myself to feel that spot in the corner I’d been ignoring.
Beautifully said Monicag2 and Karoline.
If vulnerability opens us to a greater depth and quality of connection, a true power we carry within ourselves, when we avoid or react to vulnerability are we then avoiding to being in our true power and taking more responsibility to reflecting our gorgeous light? I know I do that when I put up protection when feeling hurt, and the response that comes back from very honest and hence supportive people for my evolution around me, is a strong reaction that says “that is not you! I know who you are, so stop pretending.”
Adele, this opens out our responsibility, and we know exactly what to do to avoid feeling our own power and responsibility and yet as you say others reflect to us beautifully, this is not you, we know who you are. So I can feel how that vulnerability is about being willing to feel everything and to deepen it and allow what needs to be said to arise – there is less control with this, and much more openness.
Yes a feeling that I have needed to embrace too, rather than steel myself against. And what a great learning that has been. In fact strength and power are what I feel more and more, as I let my protection down and allow myself to be vulnerable.
Gorgeous Karoline – it’s amazing to feel what is there for us in support when we do not react to what we feel but instead have acceptance and understanding.
This is exquisite Karoline and so beautifully illustrates the power of vulnerability. To allow ourselves to feel vulnerable is healing and reflects so beautifully that life is not about perfection but about returning to the truth of who we are, and that is precious, powerful and truly magnificent.
Karoline, this is a beautiful description of something l feel l know very little about. l am inspired to feel vulnerability with such depth and detail. lt feels like l haven’t really acknowledged it or appreciated it to this degree.
I love your honesty Irena and I have similar feelings. What came to me when I was appreciating your honesty is that it is not really true – you are, in fact, sharing your vulnerability right here and now!
“I too have known myself to react to vulnerability, I want to pull the walls of protection up…but over time allowing myself to feel vulnerable more and more, and letting it do its work, something happens in this healing, I start to feel full, solid, and expansive, more of me and this is exactly what happens. As I allow the vulnerability to do its healing, then more of me is there at the end of it”. I know this also Karoline. We can so readily resist feeling what is there to be felt and try to control situations, rather than surrendering deeply to what is before us. When we do surrender, we find that all the support that we need is there to hold and guide us through whatever situation we find ourselves in.
Very true Sandra, and building this trust comes with acting out what you have expressed. I can feel how long I have held protection for in life with people close to me as well as people not close. So understanding that there is not need for protection whatsoever in itself is huge and so as I work on letting go of the armour I had become accustomed to carrying around I am finding it amazing how different my experience is in life and with others.
Yes Aminatumi, it is truly amazing what can happen when we take off that suit of armour! What a difference it makes not only to our lives, but to others as well.
Simply beautiful Karoline. The expression here of yours and Alison’s is such a blessing and inspiration for me and all women. I feel like I am in the ‘baby steps’ of learning about true vulnerability and what a support these sharings are. The comments are delicate and the image of the rose is so holding and supportive of this discussion. Thank you.
Beautiful Karoline, so it seems as if by allowing ourselves to be vulnerable we actually allow ourselves to become steadier, more embodied of who we are, less reactive to the world. The vulnerability I have felt is a response to undealt with issues, so by allowing myself to feel that makes it much easier to move on and not be affected by it in the future. The power of nominating how we really feel is so strong, it is a shame we are encouraged to bury our feelings by the constructs of our “polite”, reserved society. It seems far simpler to walk around like an open book instead of masking what is really going on.
Great examples of the way we allow the energy coming through us to drive our body, situations and attacks on others all in order to avoid feeling and allowing what is being communicated from the body. Your simple list of the ways to re-connect to yourself and to disrupt the ‘contraction and control’ from out side of yourself are practical and easy to use to re-connect. Thanks Anne
Anne, your list of what you could do to support yourself when vulnerable offers so many ways we can nurture ourselves. They are all very simple too so really we have no excuse not to do them for ourselves, but how often do we avoid nurturing ourselves in preference to ‘doing’?
What a beautiful, powerful and very needed blog. Thank you Anne. I love you writing blogs when feeling vulnerable:-). It’s lovely to read such a confirmation from the other part of the world. I too am learning to be fragile. Which in fact is actually very lovely, allthough difficult at times. I’m so used to not cry, feeling my hurts. Stubborn to show my vulnerability. And in this adding to the strong beliefs that we can’t be vulnerable and that we are alone… Where really, it’s not true at all. There’s so incredible much support to let go of this pattern. And the wonderful ‘bonus’ is that the more I dare to be vulnerable, the more I feel which in turn leads to much more stability and confidence being with me. Knowing that I can handle whatever comes my way. I haven’t mastered this yet, but feel already this happening.
The more I dare to be vulnerable, the more I feel which in turn leads to much more stability and confidence being with me.
Thank-you for this timely reminder Floris. It makes so much sense that you would feel much more stable and confident within yourself if you just let yourself be vulnerable as there is no need at that moment just an allowance of how you feel. There is great power in surrendering to the truth and just letting you be you within it.
Dear Julie, I feel so different when allowing myself to feel vulnerable. There’s no need to be different than I am when I’m connected to this natural feeling inside. The only way to surrender to this feeling is when I’m connected to my body and feel it inside. Then I feel naturally confident which to me is very rich.
Love and totally relate to your sharing Floris. Another beautiful reminder to regularly spring clean our cupboard full of ideals and beliefs.
Yes Tamara, there’s a lot of work to do in ‘my cupboard’ too. Every day I’m shown countless possibilities to clean up that which is in the way to live a loving life. In the last months I’ve become aware how much control I’m holding and that control comes from ideals and beliefs. And of course, if I hold on to them, I’ve got the perfect excuse not to move anywhere and stay where I’m at. Incredibly irresponsible, yet this behaviour is quite common in the world.
I am learning more and more to appreciate the truth that is often exposed by my body when I offer it a large dose of love, tenderness and allowing. If I have been exhausting myself yet running on nervous energy or on frustration, I often end up feeling just how exhausted I am, if there have been ignoring how I have been feeling, I often end up feeling it all deep and raw, if I have been distracting myself away from issues that have been coming up, my body tends to display the impact of the issue loud and clear. I know these ‘vulnerable’ moments are points of great healing and evolving – so why not live in a way that such a quality of living becomes normal? Living in a way that I do not avoid anything that my Soul and my body is revealing and there is no need for a catch up later? Thank you for the list of many ways in which we tend to go the opposite direction.
This is a very deeply inspiring blog, thank you Anne.
It has been an amazing experience for me to realize that when I was pretending to do things for me I in fact was just numbing away feelings and that in fact I have avoided spending time just with me at all costs. Looking back I can say that it was the fear of having to take responsibility for what I would have observed, had I once stopped, stepped back and honestly looked at how I was living my life.
I love all your points on the lists – Food is such a good one to go for – to numb how we are actually feeling. This is a continual development that we can have fun with while exploring. To be curious as to why we do it and not beat ourselves up when we have gone somewhere we know is not supporting us.
Agree Natalie – very exposing list, i could see a few things in there I do as well…the biggest for me is I have reacted to being vulnerable, I fight it, try to change it…now I see it, feel it, and sometimes takes a commitment to stay with it, knowing at the end, as the healing is happening, I will come out of it being more of me, as the healing gets rid of that which has held me back.
We have become experts and masking and hiding our vulnerability and then once we understand this then the healing can begin, as you have shared so honestly and beautifully in your blog – love the list.
Wow Anne, I can so relate to both your lists, and the first one particularly I could add more…it is very revealing to see all these things that seem so small at the time, but when written down really pull you up and make you stop. Your list of ways in which you now truly take care of yourself, and in doing so truly take care of others is inspiring and to be deeply appreciated. There are many of us who also have these tools now, thanks to the inspirational work of Serge Benhayon, and we can so quickly come back to ourselves if we choose.
When I’m feeling that sense of vulnerability, I too find it very supportive to dress in something that is gorgeous and feminine, Anne.
I find that allowing that depth of fragility is an indescribable beauty. It’s graceful to feel this way – no need to walk protection or turn to defense.
Gives real detail to how we can distract ourselves not to feel what is really going on for us.
This one caught my eye this morning: ‘Turning the radio on to listen to the news in the car rather than just being with me’ I often think, ‘Oh I need to check what’s happening in the world, listen to the news’ but of course any programme about news is based on what the presenters want us to know, it doesn’t cover everything, whereas when we stop and feel – we can feel everything. The ‘News’ is simply a distraction.
Thank you Anne, I could definitely relate to so many of the “distractions” you listed as ways to bury your vulnerability. But your second list of ways to support yourself when feeling vulnerable made perfect sense – it is so crazy that we choose to bury or distract ourselves when we feel vulnerable, rather than allowing ourselves to be honest about what we are feeling, give ourselves the space to feel how we need to support ourselves and then embrace the opportunity to deal with whatever has unsettled us in the first place. We either choose to bury or to expand and grow.
“Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” – a great question indeed. It is pure gold to allow ourselves to feel our vulnerability.
There is an absolute beauty in allowing ourselves to feel what is there to be felt.
Gorgeous Elizabeth…thank you for the reminder. Your comment really stood out for me this morning…I can feel the grace, surrender and healing that comes from allowing ourselves to truly feel, as opposed to the harm of hardening on our bodies under the guise of so called protection!
Indeed Elizabeth’s comment is so powerful yet simple “feel what is there to be felt”.
Anne the title of your blog stood out differently to me today ‘feeling vulnerable-feeling me’, it struck me how when we don’t allow ourselves to feel an emotion (whatever that is) then we don’t allow ourselves to feel us in that moment. I know it sounds simple but it just stood out to me. I also then pondered on how many people are constantly peddling hard not to feel something that is buried within and spend years doing this or even a lifetime and so then that means not feeling themselves for all of that time.
This blog is a gorgeous reminder of why we might want to feel! I have returned to this myself lately, dropping the need for stimulation through food to really feel what is underneath. The stimulation or distraction is simply a delay in feeling what is there to be felt to enable our own healing. You are right. It does not make sense to deny ourselves this?
It is interesting that both vulnerability and sensitivity are 2 words that we try to avoid and look at them as being negative, yet both offer us an opportunity to stop and listen to our feelings. Rather than avoid them now I embrace them both knowing they offer an opportunity to stop and honour what I am feeling rather than brush them aside or bury them.
Esoteric Yoga is a beautiful modality in that it connects us to our body in such a physical way. It leaves a true marker of where we have been and gently exposes us to the harm we have been living in, teaching us that there is no need for thinking or achieving only holding in love.
Esoteric Yoga has shown me how much protection I live in, but how simple it is to not choose that.
I love the list of things you can do to support yourself to feel the vulnerability your body is showing you rather than what we so often do to bury and hide it instead and in doing so override what our bodies are wanting us to address. It absolutely makes no sense to deny the opportunity to heal when it only hurts us to avoid what is there.
Thank you Anne this is such a beautiful sharing. And thank you for choosing to deal with whatever it was that was coming up for you instead of burying it. From you taking responsibility we all got to benefit. Very inspiring.
You certainly are a delicious woman Anne, I appreciate your love and dedication to being all you can be of yourself, I love this blog.
I’ve become and continue to develop my awareness of the things I can do to numb or bury what I’m feeling. Even if I don’t fully get what it is that I don’t want to feel immediately it helps to just recognise the destructive behaviour and say no to that.
“I became aware of the many behaviours I could have gone into to reduce this vulnerability” this line really stood out for me, it makes me think of a person running along the street, like they are trying to run away from something, but it’s actually always with them, it never going to go away, until they stop, and see in fact there is nothing to run away from, but simply returning to the love that’s already within them.
There’s so much more to this line “the many behaviours I could have gone into to reduce this vulnerability” – for me, they all add up to avoiding stillness, my absolute knowing and responsibility.
I agree Gyl…”the many behaviours’ are a great distraction, keeping us busy which is the exact opposite to the stillness we naturally are. And in that distraction we don’t have to deal with or be responsible for how we are truly living our lives in that moment.
Beautiful Anne, your list of ways to distract and then ways to support yourself are so beautiful. What an amazing moment that is when you make the choice to stay with the vulnerability and accept that as an essential part of your expression and that it is okay to feel so fragile. Very beautiful and a blog that brings immeasurable support to us all to stay connected to our fragility and nurture it everyday.
Indeed this is a powerful blog in highlighting what we do to distract from our hurts and ways to be with and appreciate our vulnerability, so supportive and practical.
I love both your lists. So true Anne. The stopping and feeling suggestion is so valuable.
Anne, I can really relate to your list of things that stop you feeling your vulnerability, eating if I feel upset or feel some tension rather than allowing myself to feel vulnerable is a big one for me, its almost an auto-pilot response, i have been doing it for so long. I love the simplicity of what you have written that supports you, ‘Stop and just feel, to spend time with me’ – very beautiful and something for me to ponder on.
I was driving home yesterday after a full on day at work and I went to put the radio on which I never do, and having read this blog in the morning I was reminded that I was looking for distraction and avoiding feeling, which in this case was the tension in my body.
How beautiful Julie. I read these blog site because they are full of great reminders. When I leave the house I am bombarded with business at work and billboards and advertising everywhere all designed to distract me from myself. Reading these blogs brings the strength of inspiration to my life as I read people very committed to life and exploring every aspect BIG and small in detail.
Thank you Anne for sharing this blog. Your list is showing that there is so much to support ourselves to be in these vulnerable moments where we can feel to the bones where we are coming from and what we have chosen instead. To me these moment are so precious as what it brings is like a stairway to heaven.
A lot of those behaviours sound familiar to me – eating often, snapping, busying myself with the computer, itching to shop and as you say all this to stop me from feeling my vulnerability. I shall ponder on the things I can do instead. Thank you Anne.
Yes Lynda, Anne’s article is super-supportive in that she reminds us that there are plenty of things we can choose to support ourselves, rather than going for our familiar behaviours.
Anne, thank you so much for this amazing blog. And it is amazing just how relevant it is to how I am feeling the past hour or so. Yes, I am feeling so very vulnerable and when I felt into that vulnerability just a short time ago, I could feel just how absolutely tired that I am at this moment. I seem to have been very busy the past few days, had thought I was going well, BUT there is my body showing me just how I am going. It is so incredible isn’t it, that when I need a little wake up, there is your blog waiting for a much more considered read for me. Yes, I feel exposed now as well as vulnerable and tired. Time for me to really listen much more to my body.
Thank you, Anne. Looking at your lists, I could feel how self-loathing is interlinked with our unwillingness to feel all of us (which would inevitably include vulnerability), and how we medicate ourselves because of that choice.
With your blog inspiration Anne, I felt into everything that I feel vulnerable about in daily life, and discovered when I allow myself the space to feel deeper, there are so many things I feel vulnerable about, and I am sure more with unfold after unveiling these the first round. Sharing what we feel vulnerable in life, breaks down the protection that vulnerability is something “bad” and that we have to at all cost hide it, which is very harmful to us and to the world.
A master in vulnerability is a master of life, in that we accept all that life bings—all our choices creating all that we see and have to take responsibility for, as with that, all that we are unfolding the future to be in the world. This would be an awesome class to have in school.
Adele that’s a ‘ stop’ and reflect line ‘A master of vulnerability is a master in life’ I feel it’s the indicator from the body that a deeper sensitivity is there to be explored, which would have an impact on the way we respond.
I love the list of simple choices we can make to support ourselves to stay with and appreciate what we feel naturally.
I agree Michael, there are so many things we can do that take us away from who we are so seeing a list that reminds us of all the loving and empowering things we can do is a great confirmation of our choices.
Yes seeing a list of the distractions makes it so simple and clear. It confirms our deepening awareness and the changes we have chosen to make to life more honest by honouring our feelings.
Thank you Anne and Michael, I agree, if we focus on what is there to help and bring us back to being the Son of God then the other list becomes a fading memory, a thing of the past!
Anne thank you for what you have shared. It’s been very supportive for me to help me understand why I go into behaviours I actually don’t enjoy or like the feel of, yet at times feel compulsed to do them. I am definitely running from feeling what I need to and maintaining a dishonest way of living. If I wasn’t putting so much pressure on myself to be a certain way, I may not be reacting to what’s there to feel, because it would not be “wrong” but just “the way it is”.
So true, Melinda. Feeling vulnerable can be a scary place and we just want to block it out with the behaviours but to actually be with the feeling allows a deepening to our inner heart and this is gorgeous. A work in progress for me too!
Awesome Sandra – everyone benefits from your self-healing session. Enjoy bringing all of you to your new relationship- vulnerability, fragility, preciousness and delicateness included!
Yes I know this one too Anne – the simplicity of Esoteric Yoga certainly belies the profound changes it can bring through being present and more aware of the body and connecting to the stillness within.
“The night before I had attended an Esoteric Yoga session and the presenter did say that we may feel quite vulnerable in the first two weeks”.
I love how you describe vulnerable moments as those which ‘help me find my way back to me.’ If I’ve been denying myself these moments and over riding them with doing, getting emotional all sorts then I end up feeling numb and lost and I get panicky like I’m out at sea with no way home and anything can happen. So yes vulnerable moments are beautiful opportunities to navigate my way back home. And though they may feel a little tricky I know if I stay with those moments I end up on solid dry land.
It’s true. Sometimes it gets pretty stormy. I avoid feeling vulnerable because I interpret it as having no control and that makes me afraid of what might happen. But the truth is, even if I am in the illusion of thinking I am in control, I still don’t know what is going to happen so all I’m doing is missing out on the honesty of feeling where I am at and from where I could grow.
Jinya, I like how you have brought that illusion of thinking we are in control into the discussion. I feel that all my resistance to really looking at why I have these feelings of vulnerability lately, is due to my still lurking need to be in control of things. That is an old, old pattern that I have used for all this lifetime, and probably much longer. This is a pattern that I really want to get out of now, I feel a big change coming up, as I learn to really let go, and surrender to what is going to happen, if I just learn to really trust, then I know in my heart that all will be well. It takes so much effort to be in resistance, so why do I do it?
Very true Beverley. The keyword is surrender. Something I have resisted doing with great effort. When I surrender it really does feel like a letting go of everything I hold onto and it feels a bit scary at first, kind of like free falling and not knowing if there’s a crash mat at the bottom.
True Jinya, through letting go of our perceived control and allowing ourselves to feel what is truly going on we allow a space for growth and understanding.
“And though they may feel a little tricky I know if I stay with those moments I end up on solid dry land.” Karin, I love how you expressed that last line, and love how you relate how you feel you are ‘way out at sea and no way home’, when you are denying your feelings of vulnerability. I can really relate to what you are describing here, and feel that really describes how I feel when I am trying to stop myself feel my vulnerability. It is time for me to let go and let myself feel my vulnerability, which I can sense at times is just there under the surface for me quite a lot lately, and I have been trying to ignore it. Thank you for your helpful little description here, I am out to land on solid dry land, I am sick of being lost at sea.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.” The choices you spell out here are quite simple: to either heal the hurts or allow them to be buried deeper and ignored.
Definitely Annie, and each time an issue rises to our attention it’s important to remember that it is an opportunity to HEAL it for the future, or we can choose to react and bury it again.
Absolutely Ariana – we would be constantly moving up and evolving by building platforms and foundations, rather than digging ourselves holes whenever we make mistakes.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body ….” It’s quite ironic that our first reaction is to bury the feelings believing we are protecting and being kind to ourselves.
This behaviour only hurts us further, yet it is commonplace. I am so grateful to Universal Medicine for presenting the truth that each moment is an opportunity to evolve and that actually taking the time to feel everything only serves us all.
I agree Jonathan Stewart, it is ironic that we do the opposite of what will truly support us to heal and grow. And yet our bodies never stop offering us the choice – vulnerability and feeling or protection and numbness.
So true, it never ceases to surprise me how willing we are to not feel what is there to feel and how many ruses we can come up with to avoid feeling what is really go on.
I’m always amazed too Gabriele when I discover yet another moment that I have manage not to feel. We go to great effort to not go to hurt.
“…our first reaction is to bury the feelings believing we are protecting and being kind to ourselves” – yep, super ironic Jonathan!
I agree Jonathan, it seems to be an automatic reaction to protect rather than to feel what is happening, allowing those feelings to be there, whatever they are, and letting go and healing.
I am coming to realise just how harming those layers of protection are – they are so hardening on the body and affect us more than we realise until illness/disease come knocking on the door!
I agree Jonathan, the very thing we do, believing we are protecting ourselves, actually buries and deepens the hurt in our bodies, adding to the heaviness already held within from years of accumulated pain and hurt. It is only through allowing vulnerability can we begin to heal.
How twisted are the messages we have had regarding vulnerability, tension even anger, for example. As you say Jonathan to suppress and avoid these vital messages from the body is to not heal our hurts, it just complicates and compounds the issue which then gets stored in the body. And there we have the beginnings of illness and disease.
Thank you Anne and Jonathan! Absolutely, feeling and being open to allow the vulnerability, which is then open us so we can begin our own healing.
There’s much wisdom presented in this blog. We are anything but brought up to consider that ‘vulnerable moments are part of my expression…there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.’ No indeed. Instead, all those moments when we run away from our true feelings, we’re in fact denying ourselves a real opportunity to heal deep hurts. Therefore it’s a no-brainer that feeling my vulnerability – when it happens – becomes ‘an essential part of being me’, not something to bury further in the body or to check out from.
You have just brought me up short and exposed just what I did today Anne, as after a sacred movement session last night, when I went to a deeper place in my woman’s self than ever before, I have spent today trying to deny my vulnerability and fragility with quite a lot of success. You have helped me to realise and feel what I was doing and why, I tried to keep going and ended up in a checked out sleep that felt really unloving, despite continually telling myself what was happening. However you have made it very clear how we can support ourselves and now I am more open and willing to listen to my feelings and let them be felt. Thank you.
Thank you Anne for sharing your vulnerability. I loved the list of things you identified you could do to support yourself to feel what was beneath the rawness of the vulnerability. That’s very empowering.
It is so valuable to have the link between our hurts and vulnerability highlighted as we so often stay focused on trying to stop the distractions rather than appreciating our vulnerability and listening for its messages.
Feeling vulnerable along with pretty much every other feeling is something I avoided most of my life seeing it as a weakness and there was no way I was going to be seen as or feel weak. That would be unsafe for me. These days the majority of the time I choose to be present in my body and feel my feeling, I treasure every opportunity that presents through feeling any disharmony in my body knowing it is a hurt surfacing to be felt and released allowing me a deeper stillness and connection with myself.
It is very freeing when you get to this place, Margaret. Surrendering to your hurts and accepting the associated feelings is the only way to deepen the connection to you.
Oh Anne, Surrender and Acceptance are two words that really resonate for me to be working on. It is amazing just how difficult it can be to really surrender, which is why I tend to not want to look at why I seldom want to look at any feelings of vulnerability that come up. And then, when I feel what is the hurt underlying my vulnerability, it is so important for me to not beat myself up about anything, but to just accept what is there for me to see. Thank you for bringing in that word surrender, it feels very important for me, why am I so scared of it?. Am I wanting still to be in control?
Your “things that would support me and help me to explore what is underneath my vulnerability” feel very loving and nurturing Anne. They are very inspiring to read, and would be a great reminder to have on my wall for those moments when vulnerability arises, or any time I feel myself over-riding my feelings! Thank you for your inspiration.
A great idea Paula, I will print off that list of things that will help and support me to investigate what is underneath my vulnerability. I had not thought of this in this case, but yes, it would be very helpful to me. I am still so loathe to let myself feel my vulnerability, it is time to really work on why this is so.
A lovely blog Anne. And so so relatable. How often do we try to numb what we are feeling? I love your list of practical examples of how you may choose to check in or out to your body – this is really helpful.
Oh boy. That list – I run through it ALL the time! I am forever on the quest to find something to do. I’m forever amazed at just how similar we all are. Each unique in our expression, but the same none the less.
I have fought allowing myself to feel vulnerable for so many years of my life as I believed it was a sign of weakness and so I overrode this feeling and shut down this part of myself by keeping busy. I have since learned that I was actually shutting down a big and beautiful part of myself. I discovered that when we allow ourselves to feel and be vulnerable we are then able to embrace the delicate, sweet and tender qualities that we so naturally are. With this I have developed a deeper connection to who I truly am, to an exquisite richness and a graceful strength, knowing that this fullness is same within us all. Through choosing to be with our stillness we are choosing to be in connection with who we are, where who we are not is clearly known as is what is needed next to support ourselves to heal and continue deepening our connection to ourselves through which we then live our fullness in the world.
Beautiful Anne – There was a time I would go straight into my head and start to justify, analyse, blame and create stories about what I was feeling – the thinking part of me thought that it knew all the answers and what was best. I now know that the true wisdom and answers can be found in the body and that all I need to do is acknowledge what is happening and to allow it to be there, gently and lovingly holding myself until it passes. The presentations of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have opened up a whole new way of Being that brings surrendering, appreciation and confirmation of the love that I truly am.
When we listen to and allow ourselves to be in our own rhythm, that is, what is precisely right and true for us in any moment; we allow the openness of what is there to be felt to just arrive at our feet and ditch the old way of thinking or preempting what life is going to be next. It’s like an unending, exquisite cloud of grace that we hold ourselves in.
So simple and beautiful Anne, to actually honour how you are feeling. We are so used to pushing our feelings aside or burying them with myriad distractions, but to stop and honour how we are feeling is personal evolution, and everyone around us benefits at the same time. Thank you.
Anne Hishon, delicious woman, thank you for unraveling and uncovering a whole new world for us to live in when we do not shut down our vulnerability and delicateness.
A truly inspiring read Anne. I have so often covered up how I have felt and just moved into my day, pushing the feelings aside. I have also felt others just need to get on with it too and not pander to these feelings. But I an learning that those feelings are there for healing those hurts that I have just pushed down and clearing them, not to pile up for some future return that may result in illness. I love your second list of ways to acknowledge this vulnerability, and I will take on board your wisdom. Thank you.
On reading your blog I had such an image of a beautiful lake in a mountain somewhere and we have the choice to surrender to being in the water and allow us to feel what is there and be with the divine nature of the lake….or to jump up on top of the lake and paddle, jetski, boat, swim – anything to keep super busy and not actually be in the lake. I also felt myself drop into my body (or the lake!) – thank you for sharing this with us.
What a perfect blog for me this morning Anne as I am feeling quite vulnerable as I enter into a new relationship after many years as a single woman. Your list of ‘things to do’ to avoid feeling this is a great reminder, as I can use any or all of these at different times. But this morning, I gave myself space to have a self-healing session and to feel the exquisite delicateness that partners the vulnerability.
” feel the exquisite delicateness that partners the vulnerability.” So beautifully said Sandra, and the awareness of our exquisite delicateness allows us to be with our vulnerability in a much more real and empowered place.
I attended a festival on the weekend and was feeling vulnerable, as you have described it here Anne. I have also disliked this feeling equating it to being weak and a failure. A friend came and asked me how I was feeling at the festival. I burst into tears. Without reacting, he said that I felt beautiful and delicate. He suggested that it might be okay to feel this way and that perhaps I could develop a relationship with this part of myself. That evening I came home and cried and cried. It was a challenge to allow myself to do this, but my partner reminded me how amazing it was that I was choosing to feel my tears rather than avoid them by watching television and eating chips as I did in the past. In this, there was a lot to appreciate in the choices I am now making for myself and how these choices are reflected in how amazing my body feels – even when vulnerable.
Would we even have ill behaviours if we allowed ourselves to listen to our bodies and honour what we feel?
Simone your comment just melted me. It’s a beautiful reminder of how healing and lovely it is for all of us when we are real, no matter what that realness is – crying or joyful.
Beautiful Anne. Vulnerability is definitely something that I have avoided feeling. Looking at your list of ways to avoid feeling vulnerable I recognise when I have used behaviours, activities and momentum to not feel things. When I stop and feel the fullness of what is there, it reveals to me my next step in unfolding or next way forward.
Same here Lee. I avoid it, yet feel it all the time, and part of why I avoid it is because of how it is perceived by others, usually I feel people’s judgement around me feeling vulnerable, that I’m weak and fragile (in a negative sense). This has me go into protection mode and harden up, which doesn’t work for me of course, because I ignore me.
Snap Lee… I also looked at Anne’s list of ‘get of of jail’ tricks and could tick many of them, all to avoid feeling what is going on. Doesn’t need analysis, judgement or expectation, just being willing not to deny what is already there and not going away…crazy.
Sometimes we can get a bit stuck with issues we are avoiding but thanks Lee for the reminder there is a next way forward.
Vulnerability allows us to feel the delicateness and preciousness and fine details of who we truly are.
And yet there is such a strong societal belief that being vulnerable is to be weak – how wrong is that belief, and what a set-up! As you share Anne there is so much healing in feeling our vulnerability – for ourselves and for others. Perhaps if we were all to truly feel our vulnerability there would be no war in this world, no fighting, no struggle…just the gorgeous delicateness of who we all are.
Anne thank for you choosing to write a blog, a very loving, gentle yet powerful one that I’m very appreciative for. The lists you share are fantastic to read in print. Many a time there have been thoughts, concepts and mental lists but reading them in print is allowing me to feel them in my body. And this is exactly where I need to feel my choices from because this is what makes my choices true and come to life for me. Otherwise they stay as thoughts in my head and we go around the same old again without actually doing anything different.
I love the simplicity and honesty you have written with Anne, and I can certainly relate to the many distractions that come in the way of letting myself feel what is really going on for me when I am processing something. It is funny how these days, if I notice myself being a little grumpy or on edge then I know straight away this is not because of something from the outside, rather it is about me processing something – so now I allow that little bit of a space and speak up about it too to my loved ones, work through it bit by bit and allow myself to be honest and vulnerable and to recognise where I might have allowed myself to be fooled into thinking that a particular course of action was the way to go. Key is in letting myself feel how I might have made a mistake, and how I have let myself be fooled knowing better, and best of all owning up to the mistake whilst not putting myself down for it! This is the honesty and the part where we bare ourselves – scary to do but so healing!
Thank you Henrietta – I can relate to all you say here. Bringing a stop moment to observe the distractions and the processing changes everything.
Stop moments do change everything Stephanie – this is such a valuable point!
There is such a strong belief in society that vulnerability is a weakness and therefore must never be shown let alone felt, but in fact what you present here Anne is the power of vulnerability, and the amazing healing that can come from allowing ourselves to truly feel what vulnerability means for us and how it plays out in our lives….and this in turn supports others to also do the same if they so choose.
True Paula, vulnerability has certainly been labelled as a weakness and yet it is actually a very tender and loving feeling in the body. Allowing ourselves to truly feel vulnerability and to acknowledge what is going on for us is actually exquisite. It is wonderful to expose and share this with humanity.
“When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body…” It is so common, and perhaps one could even say it is perceived as ‘normal’ these days for people to avoid and over-ride their feelings by being busy, ticking all the task boxes which is meant to confirm we are ok even when those feelings are still churning around inside us…so when all the distractions/tasks are done, we are left with how our body truly feels – there is no ignoring it in the end.
it is just a matter of how long you want to delay feeling it… and how much poison you want to accumulate along the way by not listening to how you feel.
True Paula. If we take all the distractions away we are left to feel what is really going on.
I can very much relate to what you share here Anne – I too am learning “to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” For too long have I been trying to be strong, feeling alone and going into hardness to ‘get things done’ – all imagined layers of protection but in truth those layers were only a distraction to not feel the gorgeous, sensitive and vulnerable, loving woman I am.
Today I have been feeling quite vulnerable, I had a esoteric healing session this morning, and then I decided to leave work early to be with myself and allow myself to feel what might be coming up. It’s not often I allow myself to connect to my vulnerability, so it has been great to just feel this and also to appreciate myself .
Our idea of strength seems to be so closely linked to imperviously pushing through. This allows us to maintain control, but as you so specifically show Anne, it is really only a burying and not a strength at all. The permission you give yourself to nurture and accept is where our true vitality lies.
Yes Joseph I agree and have existed many years believing that pushing through life was the way to appear strong, yet all the while burying hurts and so not living in truth who I am. I realised and could feel how my avoidance of honoring how I felt was not a strength but in fact my weakness as through all the pushing and whatever I thought I achieved I still felt a lacking in some way. This all changed when I began to choose to be honest with and honor how I was feeling. I have since discovered that true strength comes from the quality of the connection that I have with myself and my truth within.
The word control stands out to me in your comment Joseph. I can relate to wanting to get things done on a physical level and not wanting to feel weak both physically and emotionally. Pushing through ignoring my feelings to stop, not wanting to feel out of control and feel, when clearing letting go of control would support me to re-connect to my true self by feeling and letting go of the underlying hurts I often struggle so hard to bury and push through.
It is true Joseph, force or a one-pointed pushing through do not feel like true strength, but this is how most of the world do life, when I push through even in little things in daily life, most of the times I will get hurt, showing me how pushing is not supportive. Surrendering to vulnerability instead feels like there a connecting and expanding happening, we are connected by tenderness, which we may not think is strong, but in truth, is.
When somebody shows their vulnerability, they are actually saying: hey, I am not perfect, I don’t know everything, this is what there is right now and I am learning, every day. How beautiful is that….?
Very beautiful and oh so real!
The world is determined by what we do and the beingness is mostly ignored. We can only be in our vulnerability and fragility if we live from the being and not the doing. To nurture the body is a great way to connect to our vulnerability and fragility and to feel the beauty of living from the beingness.
I like this sharing very much Anne and can relate to the various techniques to overwrite vulnerability like panic-stricken. And so accepting all the side-effects of these actions just to not feel the vulnerability and hurt. For me it is a work in progress and there are times, I am able to honor my vulnerability deeply. When I am doing this, everything changes. From my way of eating, feeling myself and others, the nervous tension loosens and I feel the contact to myself much deeper. I feel my preciousness and interconnection. It is like allowing vulnerability and every feeling it brings, reveals a treasure behind it and that’s my true beauty. It is amazing. Nevertheless a true learning to not try to run away from the panic-moment of first feeling vulnerability. Thank you very much for this reminder Anne and for this wonderful line: “What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.”
Thanks for this beautiful blog Anne, and the reminder that as a result of choosing not to override our feelings of vulnerability, we can connect more deeply to our inner tenderness.
Yes Peter, when we choose not to override our feelings, our ability to deepen our connection to love and our inner self opens up. Our qualities such as tenderness have been buried for so long, and to stop and acknowledge how we are feeling gives us access to the loving nurturing qualities that are innate is us all.
I learned to cover up my vulnerability when at boarding school many years ago, yet just went and cried alone. It is amazing how that went so deep that although it is now safe to express I can still find myself hiding my vulnerability as if it were something to be ashamed of. Great to have that exposed today, thank you Anne.
Great blog. It takes me too a concerted effort to allow myself to go the whole hog and feel my vulnerability at times, to not override it with any or all of your list! What I have learnt though is that being vulnerable is not a weakness it is a deeply beautiful and healing quality for everyone including myself.
I feel blessed that you allowed your vulnerability to surface and be truly felt – and consequently write the blog Anne. I find I often talk about my vulnerability at sessions but do not allow others to see and feel it – I hide it away inside and the only one I am fooling is myself. I now feel more open to allowing the world to see my vulnerability.
When the world seems to be reeling from so much violence – accepting our’s and other’s vulnerability and understanding that it has an important part in our lives seems like a crucial lesson for humanity.
True nicolesjardin, it is the masks we put on to hide our vulnerability that contributes towards separation from each other. We can only be violent towards others if we are very separated and detached from ourselves and all.
Seeing and feeling every thing that is going on with in me and around me is an ongoing deepening the more I stay present with my self
Beautifully expressed marylouisemyers – with which we are blessed with more of your Divine presence and wisdom. Thank you.
Thank you Anne for this beautiful blog. I can relate to what you are sharing about feeling vulnerable. I can feel how I favor feeling full of energy and almost wanting to make a little jump of enjoying life over feeling fragile and vulnerable. Yet I can feel now in a day where I have honored my tenderness and delicacy how much much I feel and how exquisite this is. It feels powerful too but in a very different way. I kind of like feeling like this, it feels gorgeous.
Allowing myself to feel vulnerable is only just starting to peep out a little now and then and although I am appreciating this new level of awareness I can’t say it feels gorgeous – YET! Ever unfolding.
Anne choosing not to over-ride this fragility that you woke with but instead allow yourself to feel deeply are small steps towards giant shifts in our awareness.
Lucindag this is a quote! Awesome – I love it! So true that the more deeply we allow ourselves to feel the fragility, the grander the steps are in opening up our awareness.
‘…small steps towards giant shifts in our awareness’ – this feels so expansive lucindag. We may not realise just how big the shifts in our awareness are from these tiny steps until we stop and appreciate every single tiny step taken.
Very powerful and inspiring words Lucindag
Thanks, Anne, a beautiful reminder to stop and allow ourselves to feel what is going on in our bodies – I too often reach for the nuts . . .
Anne I can totally relate to all the behaviours you list to avoid avoid feeling vulnerable. And yet when I do allow myself to feel and express my vulnerability I feel so much more alive, tender and an intimacy with others.
I agree, there is a real intimacy and tenderness experienced with allowing vulnerability that is healing for everyone.
Anne, as you simply said we have a choice to bury and protect or allow it to be there and be seen. Men are very good, actually masters at ignoring these feelings, even though it is pretty obvious they are hiding them as it plays itself out in many ways.
Agreed Matthew, however, in my experience, women are masters at ignoring these feelings also.
Vulnerability is generally labelled as a weakness, but what I have experienced that the more I let go of my protective shields and let others see who I really am in all my vulnerability and delicateness, the stronger I am, because I can feel that this is me that I am living and not just a play that I am staging up.
Yes Michael – it is a very effective trap that most of us get caught by. It takes strength and courage to be authentic – openly sharing our vulnerability and delicateness.
So true Michael that the more we let go of our protection the more we are ourselves. I too have discovered how this connection to ourselves, our heart and our Love within is our greatest strength.
A very timely reminder Anne of how important it is to stop and simply be with ourselves, to honour how we are feeling. Every time we do this it is gold, it is us saying I am absolutely worthy of feeling everything there is to feel and to let go of hurts that do not belong to me. There is so much power in making that choice.
I have a similar relationship with feeling vulnerable, on one hand I love letting go of the way I control myself to just push through the day, and on the other it can feel so unfamiliar being vulnerable that I often find myself overeating or making myself busy to avoid embracing this feeling more deeply.
I can relate Abby. I find I can go to a certain level and then when I’m asked to go deeper I find it more challenging… While at the same time I feel the gorgeousness that’s there when I do really honour my vulnerability. I find the deeper I’m being called to go, the more absolute I’m being asked to be in knowing and embodying a full honouring of me and of everything I feel.
In reading this blog Anne I felt such a warmth and tenderness expressed from the vulnerability experienced and the beauty that reveals itself from this surrendering.
Which is what is felt from within when we honour how we feel and let ourselves surrender to our vulnerability, our body becomes more and more tender and our hearts emanate the love and warmth we are connecting to, and that is then what we reflect to others. That yummy tenderness and warmth.
Marcia and Katerina, I love the way you have shared about the yummy tenderness and warmth we experience when we allow the vulnerability. Although it is not a consistent choice for me yet and like the early part of Anne’s article I often go straight to ways of controlling the vulnerability, whenever I do surrender to it, I actually feel like I am seeing more of my true self and tender and beautiful inside.
This is gorgeous Marcia and Katerina. As when we do surrender to all of who we are in essence, the fullness of Love that is there to be embraced is purely Divine.
Love that Katerina, so beautifully expressed. I have been feeling vulnerable this morning, and as I let myself feel that, and read the comments, I can feel that love and warmth you are referring to, it is building in my body, very yummy. It is so great isn’t it, letting ourselves feel the vulnerability. And our willingness to do this allows others to also feel their vulnerability and not try to hide it.
Beautifully expressed Marcia and Katerina, the more we allow ourselves to be vulnerable the more tenderness we naturally allow in our bodies and that is huge as it is through tenderness that we know own divinity and connection to God.
Thank you for sharing Anne – the perfect blog to read on this particular morning! Over the last two and a half weeks I’ve been down with a cough and sore throat, and over the weekend I was even more sick with an infected eye and sinus problems – so overall have been feeling very vulnerable! I can absolutely relate to what you shared about avoiding vulnerability – a particular favourite of mine from your list was about snapping and reacting to family or friends’ comments, this is something I do a lot (!), and is very effective in it’s automatic shut-down of sensitivity and launch into hardness/protection. Your list of things to do to HONOUR the feelings of vulnerability was really helpful, and I will join you in working on accepting this! 🙂
This inspires me to make the world more real by being real. Thank you, Anne!
Thank you felixschumacher8. When we hide our vulnerability, what we are putting up is a fake front that no one can get through, this is actually not only hurtful to ourselves, but to everyone that we meet-as we are meeting the world in emptiness and this hurts them as well. The world continuing to meet each other in emptiness and not connection, big ouch.
By allowing yourself to feel what is there at that point in time you find the key back to yourself and to expansion. Without the awareness of what is there to feel I can’t expand. Like this dropping into my body and accepting allows me to connect to more of myself. It also brings me straight back to my connection with everyone and everything in the Universe, to God and the omnipotent love each of us is.
Monika R I love your comment -‘ It also brings me straight back to my connection with everyone and everything in the Universe, to God and the omnipotent love each of us is.’ – so beautifully said. The choice to be with our vulnerability is a choice to be with All that we are, the All that we are in connection with and the All that we are from. A choice to be in the Oneness of our Divinity.
Beautifully put: “A choice to be in the Oneness of our Divinity.”
The surrender to this oneness is the gateway back to heaven.
I understand what you mean Anne when you say that if you ignore or bury the vulnerability that negates the opportunity to be aware of and heal the hurt that your feeling. And it doesn’t have to take long to let it go once we allow ourselves to realise what we’re holding onto.
Indeed Fiona, many avoid going there because they are wary of opening up a pandora’s box of hurts, yet this is where many become stuck, for understanding that all this creation is not actually part of us makes it infinitely easier to heal.
Beautifully expressed lucindag. Once we can understand that all that our hurts are there because we have created them, it becomes so much simpler to let them go and also to accept why others react in the way that they do.
Awesome lucindag. Accepting our vulnerability actually brings us back to joy; holding back in feeling that we are vulnerable locks us in debilitating emotions such as anger and grief.
It is easy to underestimate the power of being vulnerable, it opens us up to so much more of what is going on in our body and in our life. Society has shown us that it does not have time for vulnerability….., if we show our sensitivities and our tenderness we will end up feeling hurt so it is better to over ride or cover up what we have just felt. Now rather than berating myself for feeling vulnerable I stop and honour it and accept that that is how I am feeling and then decide whether it is something that needs to be expressed or it is something for me to honour and accept that this is what I am feeling right now.
One of the best distractions to feeling deep hurts is eating. Something I have started doing recently when my hunger comes on is instead of going straight for the food I allow myself to surrender to whats really going on by feeling into my body. More often than not a bit of emotion will release, often sadness at the moment, and then the hunger goes, as does the sadness and its back to being me again 🙂
Beautifully said Eleanor eating is the most subtle way to distract ourselves and the so called “normal” eating rhythm of three meals a day with the additional morning and afternoon snack is exactly set up to always have a new reason to put something into our bodies to not feel what is going on.
Considering the amount of food that is consumed around the world it would be a very easy bet to say there is a lot that does not want to be felt. Not only that the interest in food is escalating, more programs and books than ever before. We could almost say we know exactly what we are doing, no mistake we call it ‘comfort’ food yet we never ask why we need comforting – yet simply by the name we know exactly what we are doing. I love that wherever we look there is always a reflection offering us a point of evolution, even in the name comfort food, every time we say it we are offered the reflection to ask more.
That’s a great point Laura and meanwhile in one part of the world we are killing ourselves with comfort food, in other parts of the world people are starving as they don’t even have access to basic food supplies. And the food companies are doing massive advertising and distribution of this so called comfort food in nutritiously deprived areas of the world, so that we have now for example in the area of Chiapas in Mexico obesity combined with malnutrition due to people accessing easier fancy comfort food and drinks instead of truly nutritious food. The whole purpose of comfort food is to get us addicted, not being able to prepare healthy and nutritious food anymore and with this being totally dependent clients of those products, living in a body that is numb and lethargic. Well done business with not an ounce of responsibility.
What I realized is that food covers me up and I go into a hardness that does not let me feel my vulnerability and fragility. I used to have a big full meal in the morning and it was my most important meal as I woke up hungry every morning. With the time I realized that after breakfast I went into a drive and push and that with eating my level of sensitivity changed. So I decided not to have breakfast anymore and eat later during the morning or not at all until lunch and it was amazing how I got to experience my delicacy and sweetness, no drive or push, just lightness and a very exquisite fragility. Very beautiful to feel.
Isn’t it interesting how our ‘normal’ behaviours are actually those that take us away from our most natural, and delicate state of being.
Very beautiful rachelandras. When we allow vulnerability to be deeply felt within us, what we also feel is a deep tenderness, and we will carry ourselves with the most precious care, and it is this preciousness that we then move on in life with.
Thank you rachelandras, you have alerted me to something that I need to look at. Yes, I too use food to cover me up so I don’t feel my vulnerability and fragility, and also tiredness and exhaustion. I have lately dropped my evening meal, so as to not be eating close to bedtime. But I am eating more at breakfast now, then having my main meal in the middle of the afternoon. I will be feeling into my need for the larger cooked breakfast, I am sensing I am using that as a cover up that is not the best way to be approaching this. I think I am hungry in the morning, but is that the truth? What is underlying that? I may need to eat much less in the early morning, and need to really feel into what the body requires.
“Stocking up” is a big belief and goes with anxiousness. I sometimes have it when I have a big day ahead, that I think I need to eat more to be able to get through the day, or I get tense about not having something to eat when “needing” it. This tension makes me already hungry as I don’t want to feel what is truly going on and then when I decide to “stock up” I feel tired and dense and realize that it is not true. The less food the more clarity during the day and then a good full early dinner, that is what works for me.
Great Beverly, I love to experiment lovingly with my body and feel what is really needed, as my body can communicate very strongly something that is not truly supporting. I can feel when this happens my body is like demanding, craving, urging and it feels very disturbing and very right in my face and I get pressured into pleasing it. These, for me, are messages that are not true and carry something deeper that my body is communicating to me and I stop then, have a glass of water and feel into whats truly going on. When my body is still, harmonious, feels light, delicate, tender and I can express from my fragility and vulnerability I feel at ease and know that I am in line with my body. Hunger feels then very different and I know what to eat.
This is a beautiful example of how we can take responsibility for ourselves Eleanor, and to not allow our emotions to get the better of us. So long as we are willing to surrender to what we really feel, our body will support us to do what is really needed. Thank you for sharing your experience.
That’s a great observation, Eleanor. And I love your sharing, Rachel. Recently I have been going through oscillation of not feeling the need to eat, and overeating. I feel there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to handle the level of clarity it brings when my body is well looked after and honoured, so it reaches out for food to offset that. The word responsibility has been ringing in my ears.
Yes Eleanor, food and shopping have been the best distractions for me to not surrender and feel any hurts that might be presenting in life. The more awareness I bring to situations by being present in my body and reading how things play out the less the need to manage life and just feel whatever is there to be felt.
Anne this blog is gorgeous in the way it brings a very different view of the quality of vulnerability as something to be enjoyed and celebrated.
A very inspiring read. Thank you :).
Allowing ourselves to feel our vulnerability and fragility is a strength and yes, to be celebrated as such. When I feel this, I feel my delicateness and preciousness to another level.
I agree Sandra – saying yes to delicateness and preciousness is simply amazing. Barriers of protection are impossible to keep in place and hide behind.
One of my natural strengths in life has been being able to show my vulnerability. But with that I have had a lot of shame and discomfort about not being able to hold back that fragile part of me, feeling it as a weakness. So I would try and hold back tears (often without success), and put on a brave face, and would often harden up in protection. Through attending Universal Medicine events I am now starting to treasure the vulnerable part of me that reflects to other people that by feeling what is there we can get to a deeper knowing of who we really are.
Beautiful Eleanor, you aptly describe how sweet and sensitive we all are.
I know I have forgotten how sensitive I am, as its always been easier for me to put on a protection look or hardened look. Forgetting actually it’s ok for me to connect to my vulnerability and feel how sensitive I am. Something which is now coming to surface for me and I am working with.
Our sensitivity is our super power and need not be protected, for it melts the hardest of hearts to return to their original nature – LOVE.
Eleanor it is truly gorgeous when someone shares their vulnerability, and it makes space for others to feel their vulnerability too.
It does hartanne60, when we open the door to ourselves to feel the vulnerability that is there, others naturally feel safe to do the same. It’s actually a wonderful gift to ourselves and to others.
Absolutely hartanne60, being who we truly are, in our vulnerability or power, allows others to feel the truth of themselves and becomes a beautiful way forward for all.
In overriding my vulnerability in the past, this has led to a hardness in my body which feels rigid and cold, the purity of my vulnerability is then loaded with the sadness of choosing to toughen up. When we are prepared to face our choices honestly it can be very confronting, allowing ourselves to sit with the vulnerability rather than dampen it a work in progress.
This is beautiful Eleanor… “by feeling what is there we can get to a deeper knowing of who we really are…”
… we often don’t want to feel what is there because it brings up hurts that have been buried in our bodies, but allowing ourselves to feel them, and sometimes it is not pleasant, we can let them go and begin to re-connect to ourselves at a deeper level. There is always more to uncover, and I too am thankful to Universal Medicine for introducing to me something that I already knew deep inside, that I, and that means we, are all truly divine and glorious beings living inside a physical body that should be honoured and treasured because it is through this body that we will come back to our true selves.
Yes Sandra, our physical body is very much part of our life and needs to be fully included, not used as a supplement. I have always used my body for the sake of my mind, I made choices from beliefs but never from my heart – I did not even know how to, until such time as I met Serge Benhayon where I learned how to feel what it is to be in my body and really connect to what I feel instead of think.. well it has been an amazing experiment since then, seemingly I have a heart that inner-ly speaks to me and knows how to make choices, so my head is more dismissed than ever before! You must think, oh well, how are you going to make smart choices then? And not hurt yourself?.. Well you must experience feeling this.. but I have come to understand that my heart knows way more how to care for my body than my head… Interesting and there is so much more to discover, what I never got from my mind!
“I too am thankful to Universal Medicine for introducing to me something that I already knew deep inside, that I, and that means we, are all truly divine and glorious beings living inside a physical body that should be honoured and treasured because it is through this body that we will come back to our true selves.” Thank you sandrahenden, for reminding me of this, yes I must honour and treasure my body that contains a divine and glorious being, it is up to me to look after it and to listen to its messages much more deeply than I have lately. The above from you is so beautiful, and is a wake up call to me.
Thank you Eleanor- I have found that sharing my vulnerability with others has allowed a deepening in my relationships with myself and others.
Very true Anne, we harden up in the illusion that we are protecting ourselves when really we are hurting ourselves beyond measure and shutting out those that can support. A game that is being beautifully exposed by all the amazing sharings. Vulnerability, fragility is actually super powerful and the safest space there is, not to mention opens us all back up to remembering we are all one. Whereas hardness keeps us in separation that further confirms we are not all one. Crazy but true.
Eleanor, I can so relate. I always saw my vulnerability and sensitivity as embarrassing and a weakness. I worked hard at hardening up. I can now feel how detrimental this was to my well-being – both physically and energetically. I can’t say that I always welcome feeling vulnerable now (I still sometimes think it it inconvenient), but I appreciate the opportunity it gives me to be gentle and delicate with myself and go deeper with what there is to learn.
What a beautiful strength to have and live. Being vulnerable allows people to just melt and drop the guards and protection.
Said like that Annie it is irresponsible to harden up, it not only effects us it also effects all those around us. Great sharing thank you.
So true Annie. Being vulnerable, without protection, allows others to drop their protection and be open.
Eleanor I love the phrasing you use to treasure your vulnerability. We all have this vulnerability and it is a treasure worth sharing.
Thank you Anne, I totally relate to your first list but also to your second. Each I time I choose and develop ways to truly support myself the easier it is to accept those times I feel vulnerable and through acceptance I have found true healing can occur.
Developing ways to support myself while feeling vulnerable has been an absolute strength for me too katechorley. This means that I no longer have to harden and protect myself when feeling vulnerable but rather, surrender and support myself.
We are masters at detecting wrong and covering it straight away with such a subtitle that we may not even realise what happened. We are still to be fully aware of the nano-movements we do inside the body to counter whatever we need. And, we have to be aware of how not covering it up may change the whole game.
Yes covering up things like vulnerability is something I know well and yes it happens almost without a thought. I am learning now that feeling what ever is coming up and letting it be is very beautiful to do and leaves me feeling more vital than when I override and try to hide my vulnerability which is mostly exhausting!
Exhausting… and unsuccessful, as we can never really cover up our vulnerability at all, we can only pretend to.
And once we pretend we got nothing!
I too know covering up vulnerability, tiredness, and even exhaustion, very well Lieke, it is awful how we look for something to override what the body is telling us. We are so in the pattern of soldiering on when tired, that we do not even realise we are actually tired. And when it comes to vulnerability well, we have so many things to distract us with, as Anne has so ably listed in her blog. It is time for me to let myself feel my vulnerability, which is quite strong at the moment, and let it be as it is, with no effort to cover it up. Actually, I feel so much better, though very vulnerable, in just admitting that is how I feel at the moment. I now have no judgment, just knowing that I need to be very gentle with myself at the moment.
Lieke, I definitely use a lot of energy to overthink things, to worry about my place in the world, how I am seen, to mask my true feelings and vulnerability, and pretend I don’t feel things when in fact I am feeling constantly, all the time.
Agree Lieke, trying to hide our vulnerability is exhausting and taxing on our bodies as we have to rely on behaviours to manage life that are not very supportive at all.
Indeed Eduardo, how the game would change if we acknowledged how our bodies truly felt and not override them with distractions. Sometimes these choices to override are subtle and sometimes not so subtle, either way, like you rightly say, we are masters at it, which means that we DO all read energy and we are just choosing to not be true to ourselves. It only makes sense because I can understand we don’t want to feel our pain and hurts but it doesn’t make sense that we make these choices to continue to keep ourselves small when in reality there is a grandness inside us that is just yearning to come out, it is just a matter of allowing it.
Yes, agreed Eduardo – covering vulnerability up can happen in a flash. My parents were uncomfortable with vulnerability themselves so certainly didn’t know how to support it in their children so it was ignored and I learned to just bury and hide it and get on with things. This blog has caused me to stop and consider how much I am still over riding vulnerability which is brilliant as I have now become aware of something that has slipped from view but is certainly relevant in my life right now.
I love how this works, another person’s sharing is another’s learning and so on we go, reflecting and supporting each other along the way as we all evolve back to where we once came.
So true Eduardo. I often cannot predict from my mind what will flow when I am open and honest with all that is there and how this will change the game. I have found that when I am open to feeling everything, even the vulnerability, magic happens.
It has all been my experience Lee that when I allow myself to feel all of me, vulnerability included, and all that is going on around me, magic happens.
Eduardo your last sentence is massive – ‘And, we have to be aware of how not covering it up may change the whole game.’ – If we really stopped and digested this it would touch a nerve or two. A whole game changer is getting to a place where we are getting honest and saying that the way we are living currently is not working. This is what is propelling the cover up, its like it started so long ago, the covering up and not allowing our sensitivity that the snow ball effect has got us to a point where we are now.
Yes beautifully said Natalie. It is like a vicious cycle! We cover up what we feel is not ok to show in the world, which then shows others that it is not ok to be that in the world too. And so on, but if we would stop and let ourselves be all that we are feeling, others get this reflection too and have to opportunity to let themselves be all they are as well. This shows how the way humanity is, is created by us all. So we can also all make the change.
Yes, often I am scared of how much I do feel and live a lot of my life fingers crossed I don’t get upset over things. I know that being with me and not abandoning myself in moments of vulnerbility is how I learn to trust and love the gift of senistivity.
Yes Eduardo “We are still to be fully aware of the nano-movements we do inside the body to counter whatever we need.” When we override what we feel life quickens and there is no space to stop and feel what is truly going on so the nano-movements as you say have no space to be felt. Connecting to our innate stillness aids our ability to feel these nano-movements with grace and appreciation.
It’s true Eduardo – it happens so quickly and so automatically that at times we think we don’t even register what we’ve done but the truth is we do. Being more aware and responsible and not covering it up would definitely be a game changer.
Anne – thank you for your sharing. I loved reading all the ways we can deny what we are feeling or confirm it. I have certainly tried both and I can say that confirming it, whilst it might be a little uncomfortable initially, is so honouring of the body and allows that sensitivity to really shine through – which is beautiful in itself.
Yes there is a deep level of acceptance needed for what might make us feel uncomfortable, but the fact is if we in that moment choose to numb it out, then the moment will always come around again..and again…and again. Until perhaps we decide to honour what we feel and realise that everyone will experience this tension as it is simply a step to supporting us to get back to who we are.
Thank you Anne for this lovely blog, which I am sure many people can relate to. Appearing to be vulnerable is regarded as a weakness in most of society. In the UK there is pride in having a stiff upper lip and soldiering on whatever. In actual fact, I think there is a great strength in showing the world the gentle, fragile beings that we are, as we allow ourselves to feel the built up emotions and pain in our body, so to reveal the beauty of our true selves.
A beautiful and delicate sharing of allowing oneself to feel and be with ones own vulnerability. There is a deep surrender I feel in my body when I read your blog Anne because I can also feel all the time I go into being something, even a small holding, to “get on with my day” instead of honouring the delicate, but powerful, feeling inside.
Anne I appreciate how you describe feeling vulnerable and choosing to remain connected to your body and let yourself feel it, what a very precious choice to make. We do not have to have an answer or do something to make ourselves better all the time. Learning to connect and trust that connection to our bodies is a huge step towards self healing and returning to love.
‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me’ that, Anne, is a line that has the power to change the world. If we substituted the words ‘vulnerable moments’ for any of the countless combinations of emotions that we try and turn away from then we would find our way back home in no time.
Beautiful Anne. Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. It is real and very easy to relate to. Feeling vulnerable and transparently sharing with others, especially in my closer relationships at the moment is something I am exploring. It is very interesting what comes up for us to feel and the choices that then present themselves following this. Being vulnerable is a beautiful strength, I feel.
Yes, how much we have, and possibly still do, run away from ourselves and our true feelings. There is much to unlearn and much to align to, as your lists clearly show.
Anne, I am very familiar with your list of distractions which take you away from feeling your vulnerability. What I find so interesting is how quickly we can reach for these things and how we can use them one after the other just to be sure we do not feel what is really going on. I have been feeling quite vulnerable recently and rather than feel I have made absolutely sure I numb myself by having a decaf coffee and eating sugar all day. Today is a new day and I’m inspired to allow and feel what is going on.
This is great to read Anne, in particular, ‘I decided to allow this vulnerability to be there and to deeply feel it.’ This is lovely, I had this experience recently where I got quite ill and all I wanted to do was rest, resting was not something that I was used to, I was used to being busy, pushing through, helping others, not showing any vulnerability, but I felt so poorly that I had no choice but to rest and accept help, I felt really sensitive to everything – smells, sounds, comments people made and I honoured how I was feeling and expressed this, not thinking that I was being weak and pathetic by doing this, it felt really lovely to honour myself in this way and allow myself to be vulnerable.
A delicious blog from a ‘delicious woman’ Anne Hishon, thank you. Awesome to see vulnerability as something to be embraced rather than avoided and evaded. Much to ponder.
Thank you Anne, delicious woman, for this gorgeous sharing on you and your vulnerability, one I can so easily relate to, as I know many others will as well. How sad it is that we have never been raised to understand what vulnerability truly is instead being taught that it is to be weak, pathetic and definitely not a state of being to share with anyone. So we harden, toughen up, put on a happy face etc, burying this feeling of vulnerability within our body as it waits to be acknowledged and allowed to be expressed and seen. To honour that we are feeling vulnerable offers us the precious space to begin to heal.
An amazing sharing here Anne which made me look at how often I still find something to do or eat instead of facing up to what I feel. I was one of the millions of people around the world yesterday that felt the sadness of David Bowie passing, with knowing all that I know I knew it was silly to be sad but I just had to accept that I was and feel it instead of going into an old pattern like having a cigarette or a beer or something so I don’t have to feel at all.
Good job kevmchardy… We just feel what we feel. The old ways of coping with that sadness simply become more obvious and we get a chance to see a pattern and either choose the same or different. No drama.
Are we all not just like a raw egg in its shell? Forever trying to protect ourselves from anything that could hurt us. The energy out there is always available for us to choose to let it in… and effect us like an egg in a microwave. Or feel how being fragile is one of the amazing things that is a part of us.
What a great metaphor the raw egg is Steve. We can choose to be ‘hard boiled’ or vulnerable in accepting our natural way.
Burying how I feel in activities such as eating, tv or my laptop is an ingrained behaviour that I really got to feel goes on a lot just through the reflection of reading this blog. I really find it amazing how much my honesty with these behaviours has grown in the years since I first started listening to Universal Medicine presentations. It is great to read your experiences Anne and feel that depth of self appreciation come through at the end.
The power of vulnerability is something many of us are learning to embrace like you Anne. I love the way I feel and the softness in my body when I allow myself to feel the vulnerability that may be arising. There can also be the pull to ignore these feelings, and just ‘get on with it’ without regard for them. I find I can still do everything I need to but the sense of vulnerability reminds me to bring a greater gentleness to what I do.
Thank you Anne for sharing your lists and I am sure many people could relate to them. What I have come to realise after 10 years of making choices that truly support my body is that there is always more and this is not about perfection or setting any goals.
I have an inbuilt strong marker that tells me instantly when something is not feeling right and because I don’t know how to hold back what I am feeling, I just say it and share it – usually to my partner or close friends. You could say I am lucky but it is not luck, it is a way of being and living that comes from my commitment to live life based on the teachings of Serge Benhayon.
So for example, I do put the radio on and listen to the news everyday as I like to keep my finger on the pulse and know what on earth is going on out there. However, I do not leave me and get caught up in whatever the news is. I have the ability now to remain detached and nothing is a big deal. I KNOW for a fact that the radio does not change the quality of me being me in that moment so I no longer need to avoid putting the radio on.
Great Anne, how you have pointed out that it is really a matter of choice to deepen the quality we feel in ourselves or to avoid truly feeling what is going on by all kind of behaviours that does not support us at all. Recently I became aware that I am choosing anxiousness to avoid feeling vulnerable and now when I surrender to this vulnerability which is underneath my anxiousness I can connect to the love within me and it allows me to feel spacious again.
Thank you Anne for such a beautiful look at feeling vulnerable and the blessing it can offer us to heal and connect with what is coming up. This year was the first time I connected with feeling vulnerable and what it actually was for me. I had believed in the past that to feel vulnerable it was a deflated fragile state and I needed to shut off or have time out from every day activities. When I allowed myself to feel vulnerable, I had more clarity, understanding, felt strong and claimed in myself and looked at what was coming up with a grace and gentleness… like wrapping my arms around the situation and holding myself and everyone else with love.
Only too often I know that I feel awkward when feeling vulnerable basically thinking I would need to present an always-being-okay-version of myself to not be seen as weak and avoiding the rejection I am expecting for not living up to the ideal I identified with. Truth is it doesn´t work anyway, really, I am not loved for any ideal but only for being me and by honouring where I am at I allow myself to be more and more of me, as vulnerability is only temporary and when understood and approached in the right way it is a gateway to sensitivity, tenderness, self-love, love, connectedness, Soul.
I can relate to the distractions that you have noted to not feel vulnerable and the options you have mentioned to help with the vulnerable feelings are very helpfull especially Serge’s books
I love your lists Anne and can relate to the points that you make. I love the distinction between the two lists, the first one is about ‘doing’ and the second one about ‘being’. ‘Doing’ keeps us distracted and our hurts buried, ‘being’ offers the space for us to heal and evolve.
Thank you Anne, this is a great article to reflect on my ways of avoiding feeling vulnerable, there are so many. While when I allow myself to feel vulnerable and raw, there is a great openness, that is allowing me to feel all there is and let go of the hurts that come up.
Thank you, Anne, for bringing it back to the everyday simplicity of caring for ourselves. There is no need for complications, stories and complexities that just serve to take us away from us.
How vulnerable and how truly precious to feel this vulnerability. This is a lovely sharing.
It is hard to be feeling vulnerable in the world, especially at work. This is definitely a work in progress for me, how to support myself through however I’m feeling when in intense situations that are asking a lot of me. My pattern has been to go into my protective behaviours. This is something I am committed to unraveling as the world needs to know that there is another way, that it is ok to feel and express sensitivity.
Beautiful Anne, I am learning the very same thing. Especially with food, how I use it to distract myself away from what I am feeling. I am playing with letting myself be hungry for a while and not straight away satisfying the desire to eat. Letting myself feel lighter and seeing what feelings are there. I have been surprised to find that I actually get tired in the day and that I can give myself permission to rest a little while rather than seeking the energy from food or drinks – this one is taking quite a while to really learn, I saw this pattern in myself some years ago but am only now giving myself the space to nurture myself like this.
Anne, thank you this has come at an opportune moment for me and I will allow vulnerability to play out so I can come back to me.
What a beautiful sharing Anne, you got my head nodding yes to so many of your distractions. I am learning though, to surrender more during those times that my body is telling me that I really do need to just be with myself for a while, and if I don’t listen my body or my surroundings lets me know every time.
You have made it crystal clear Anne the choices we forever have in life to support us to be with ourselves or to take us away and not be with ourselves at all. There is simply nothing in life that does not fall into either of these two categories.
It’s so true Anne that from our vulnerability our true strength is revealed. Beautiful you chose to recognise and be with your vulnerable moment through which uncovered much to be appreciated, thank you for sharing it.
Great point Giselle, and could it be our true strength that we fear and therefore seek to numb ourselves instead of embracing the opportunity to evolve?
From my experience Kate I would have to resoundingly say YES. As unfathomable as that can sometimes feel, peeling back the layers as to why I wouldn’t choose to stand in all that I am I find only that it is that I am afraid to (for reasons I am yet to uncover).
Letting go of that put on tough exterior and being willing to accept my vulnerability has been a big step forward for me also Anne. But in the past few days I have been feeling quite unwell and really realising the importance of accepting my vulnerability and from that the self-care and nurturing I need to give myself, instead of putting myself aside thinking that I can wait until I have done this or that task which now by being honest with myself can see I have used as a distraction or an avoidance of choosing to feel and deal with my lack of self-worth issues that I have accepted as me in the past.
Deidremedbury, I can feel your vulnerability as you share here. What a gift to yourself and all of us as we learn to embrace our fragility and rid ourselves of the that which has eroded our feelings of being worthy when in truth we hold the magnificence of the universe in every single cell in our bodies!
Anne, thank you for sharing such honesty about what it’s like to be vulnerable and not see it as a weakness but a strength.
For in claiming it we are honouring our body, and in sharing it openly with others we allow them in.
It is so true Anne, when we feel vulnerable there can be an automatic panic about how we will be able to function with that vulnerability. In the end, by trying to squash that feeling all we end up actually doing is functioning and existing, not really living in the way I personally now know is possible. When I accept that there are days that I will feel more fragile and vulnerable than others, and days where I will need more support than others, then I do not have so much tension about how I will cope. I know that it is what it is, it is as a result of something I have changed and if I am tender with myself it will ease. In time. I find that I resist vulnerable days less and, because I have felt that in myself, I can be a support to others who are feeling that for the first time. That is what we can all do through the inspiration of your blog and bringing that into our own lives.
So true Lucy the power of reflection from how you choose to live can indeed inspire others to drop into their vulnerability and to also know it is more than just okay to do this, it is an opportunity to heal.
Yes Aimee, being a role model for ‘allowing vulnerability’ in the context of supporting ourselves and others to accept and embrace what fragility can teach us, is much needed in our harsh and judgemental world.
It so is Bernadette, many who are not doing well or struggling with life are very reluctant to share with others and often hide it, in fear of being judged.
Beautiful Lucy, if we all could see and feel that being vulnerable is actually fine and not something to be afraid of we could then carry ourselves gracefully through these more challenging times.
I love that word Katechorley ‘gracefully’ it says so much. The grace means there is no need for it to be any different and feels like a walk with buddies.
This is truly beautiful Anne and what a reflection, a gift to all, a demonstration of ‘another way’ of being. Thank you for sharing with me how your vulnerability is a precious experience in supporting you and all of us on our journey back to our true selves…..
I agree Bernadette, I am certainly inspired to be far more loving with myself at these times as well.
It matters very much how we do things when we are vulnerable, when we are open.
People used to tell me how lovely I was when I was vulnerable, and it would usually be a time when I was quite raw, so I didn’t enjoy the thought of being like this all the time. But now I can see that being vulnerable is not something that leaves me exposed to harm, but just the opposite, it brings me an inner strength that means I need no protection.
Beautiful Heather, it like a tussle with our bodies, for many of us when we are feeling vulnerability the body has a protection autopilot which hardens ups and closes off. Bringing greater awareness to details like the quality of our breath, then we can begin to reset our movements to allow and open up for whatever is there to come up.
Anne, I could have written your list of things to do to avoid being and feeling my vulnerability, it’s amazing the things I will find to do at the time to avoid it and yet when I stop and truly feel it, and give myself the space to support myself with it, everything changes, so you reminded me to keep feeling, and drop any ideas of where I think I should be. Those ideas we have are often straight jackets we put on to avoid feeling all of us.
Beautiful piece of writing, yet all spoken from a woman of love and stillness. Thank you for sharing about your experience with vulnerability – this has given me a more wider space to stop, feel and actually connect to being my vulnerable self – without using distractions to override it. Just as you said, is one of the things on the list! Key here: to allow what is underneath our behaviours and protections and discover and explore.
Anne what you have shared here has resonated with me deeply. I too like to find things to do that will distract me from feeling. For me its really about stopping and appreciating just how I am feeling and to not push it down, but to allow it to be. That is truly something to appreciate and to see the strength in our vulnerability is truly amazing.
I wonder if the strength is in the vulnerability as such as we can indulge in it as well and be pathetic, or if the strength is in the way we choose to be with ourselves when we feel vulnerable, just as you describe: stopping, appreciating, allowing to be. In honouring and accepting where we are at we allow ourselves to be, and I feel our strength is in the ‘space to be’ as here we have access to all of us that is so much more than just the vulnerability.
I can relate to the ‘space to be’ you write about, Alex. With our focus on preventing to not feel something we only take a small part of ourselves into consideration or allow into our awareness. The space to be opens up the ‘all’.
So well expressed: “…we only take a small part of ourselves into consideration…” and in doing so we identify with a lesser or limited version of who we are (and often judge) or even with something we are not at all and keep ourselves disconnected from who we are in truth.
True, it is a perfect set-up to keep ourselves disconnected from the amazing, innate divine beings we are, and we fall for it and buy into it.
Yes, well said Alex and Monika R. When we avoid or focus on preventing a feeling we give it such power. Standing in the fullness of who we are is an entirely different relationship with it in truth.
Surrendering to our vulnerability isn’t encouraged in our societies, as we grow up, and has the connotations of being weak…. but that’s a bastardisation of the truth of vulnerability. When we let ourselves be just where we’re at we allow a deepening of ourselves, a deeper connection to our innate power, which we can then embody and bring in to our daily life with a gorgeous smile on our face that says yes, this is me and here I am.
Your comment Katerina brings a gorgeous smile on my face. So true that when we allow ourselves to feel where we are at, we surrender to our innate power without any doubt because it is just who we are.
Katerina, I love how you had described allowing yourself to be seen through surrendering to your vulnerability. From what you have written I can feel what a beautiful and empowering process it is to honour what is going on from ourselves and live from that rawness. I can feel how enjoyable it is when we allow ourselves to be seen in full, so all this begs the question, why don’t I do it?
Yes, the truth is our vulnerability clearly shows our divinity, and therefore how incredibly powerful we are.
Anne, a beautiful offering you have given of how to honour what we are truly feeling. To ‘allow, appreciate and accept’ the vulnerability you were feeling and to also be aware of the ways to override what was felt by going into default patterns is very honest. There are truly so many supportive choices that can be made to allow the space to explore what lies beneath the vulnerable feelings, bringing healing and understanding. Thank you.
I am slowly learning the power of surrendering to vulnerability. These opportunties are constellations for a time to re-connect deeper, and in fact, in our vulnerability when we can still hold ourselves with the deepest tenderness, we surrender to all that is. There is nothing forceful about this, there is no picture to follow, but there is a power felt, in that every movement and gesture, we can feel how delicate and precious we are. In acceptance of our vulnerability, the power is to live life without any preconceived pictures of how we are to be, but to re-discover with every choice we make.
Beautifully said Adele. “In acceptance of our vulnerability, the power is to live life without any preconceived pictures of how we are to be, but to re-discover with every choice we make”.
“there is no picture to follow” true surrender is free falling into absoluteness.
What a great blog, I had never really thought about vulnerability. But having read your blog I can relate to a lot of the behaviours when I was feeling vulnerable, but not recognising that’s what they where. Now I have this awareness, I will keep an eye on theses feelings so I can allow myself time to connect to these moments and myself some space.
I loved reading this blog as I could feel the lightness that also came with being vulnerable. Often when we talk about being vulnerable it can have a negative or heavy connotation to it, with what you have shared I can feel the lightness and letting go that comes with the vulnerability.
Its a great point Kristy, when we don’t see vulnerability as something weak, we can appreciate the power and strength that comes from honouring how we feel.
That is how I understand it as well that the strength comes from honouring, accepting and understanding ourselves no matter how we feel, and vulnerability as such is not good or bad, weak or strong but it is what we feel at times. The strength is in the choice of how we are with ourselves in every moment.
I agree Kristy, there is a judgement about being weak if we allow our vulnerability to show, but what comes across in Anne’s blog is a person who is giving herself an opportunity to honour what her body is telling her – awesome.
Great point, Kristy, everything we let (our) light shine on get the opportunity to transfer into love.
Agree Kristy, I can see how this plays out for men as often we refer to being vulnerable as a weakness or unacceptable behaviour so we don’t go there and seldom see it for the strength that it is as we get to present to others and ourselves the real deal of who we are – and that is worth it!
Often after having Esoteric Healing Sessions or Esoteric Yoga etc, I have also felt very vulnerable and raw when facing the reality of the world. Esoteric sessions offer us a space to reconnect to US, come back to ourselves and start to accept and flow with the stillness that is naturally living within. Returning to normal life after this has sometimes been a shock, the world is full of busyness, emotions, reactions and disharmony and these things can be acutely felt immediately after Esoteric sessions. The Esoteric offers us awareness and a foundation for living in stillness, so that we can maintain a feeling of inner harmony while living amongst the busy world.
The power in vulnerability is something not often understood, but in allowing the vulnerability an honouring of self appears, and what follows is a fresh way of living.
I can relate to that harry, it is as if the ‘volume’ has increased when we step out of the door after an Esoteric Healing -Yoga session. it seems more intense but actually we are more open and clear to feel what ever there is.
Thank you Anne, it is indeed a peculiar thing when we start to address our behaviours and see how certain behaviours we have been choosing to avoid feeling vulnerable or sensitive, or even just feeling at all. Even the things like ‘snapping’ at a family member, these are all too common but when they are really looked at, there is something going on underneath that we don’t want to expose. Loved the simplicity of your blog.
I love what you have shared here Anne it is very true for me to want to do anything but be vulnerable.
It is amazing how long the list is of what we can come up with to not feel. And the effort and energy this costs is big! A simple ‘yes’ makes a whole lot of difference.
It is lovely to hear and feel you honouring your vulnerability, I could also feel how this gave me permission to feel mine. I feel this is really important what you have shared ‘When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.’ It is so true if we bury a feeling we miss an opportunity to heal, I know what I would rather have .. an opportunity to heal. Sometimes, even though this is what I truly want I forget, or override it with the busyness of the day; that is why it is great to have modalities like Esoteric a Yoga that support us and remind us to come back to who we are.
Great point Vicky “It is so true if we bury a feeling we miss an opportunity to heal, I know what I would rather have .. an opportunity to heal”. If we are not choosing to heal we go into harm by forcing or imposing onto our body a cover up what it is we are feeling. Another great blog for all to learn from.
Absolutely gorgeous post Anne. I am familiar with all the choices you list here, the nurturing and the not so nurturing. I love the way you point out that numbing our vulnerability only leads to burying our hurts. In my experience these hurts don’t take long to rear their heads again. It makes so much more sense to feel the hurts and allow space for them to clear. I always thought this was difficult to do, however, your simple lists show how simple and easy it is to address hurts. I will be revisiting this blog often.
I agree Leonne, and the world does not support this way of living not in our education systems or often in our parenting, family up bringing, and certainly not in our work places so this is an huge step away from what is considered the normal way to do things. But the shifts here are enormous and something I will continue to develop.
It does make sense Leonne, “It makes so much more sense to feel the hurts and allow space for them to clear”. With the support of a loving esoteric practitioner also can help with the space to support you to see that hurt is not you.
This is a lovely reminder of the power of vulnerability, Anne. It has taken me years to allow myself to be truly vulnerable because I did not feel equipped to handle the level of openness that comes with it. Nowadays this is becoming a very known way of being for me and the openness that I feel on a daily basis is humbling as who I truly am pours out so much less encumbered. This has brought new life and depth to the connections I have with people, which confirms how truly healing being vulnerable actually is and how much this is needed in the world today.
I agree Robyn, and this is a hugely supporting way to live. I am still developing my relationship with being vulnerable and when I really allow this I am astounded of how beautiful I am and how simple things really are. It is an enormous healing for our bodies to really let go and just be while feeling everything there is to feel.
Yes, Aminatumi, being vulnerable allows us to feel more clearly the real beauty of who we are. When I am vulnerable or I feel another in vulnerability I just melt. There is something very innocent and touching about being vulnerable that I am only just allowing myself to feel and explore.
I concur Amina, it is one of the feelings I adore the most is to be vulnerable. It is very healing to feel all that is there in the body.
Indeed Robyn as we appreciate all that we bring to the table, the connection within our relationships becomes deeply confirming.
Yes, lucindag, and this feels deeply glorious.
I could really relate to this Anne… In the past, whenever I was feeling hurt and / or vulnerable, I would have gone straight away into trying to bury this and distract myself with any variety of activites and behaviours (including blaming others!), however I am now finding when I connect back to simply feeling where my body is at, and being open to explore what might be coming up for me (and that I perhaps want to avoid) – in other words, allowing myself to feel fragile and allowing and accepting the support from others – the easier it is to look at and / or let go of whatever it is that I am feeling vulnerable about. So I found this a gorgeous reminder today of the power and freedom of feeling our vulnerability!