Feeling Vulnerable – Feeling Me

The other morning I woke up feeling very vulnerable – I was tearful, head-achy and I felt fragile and sensitive to anything that was being said to me. The smallest comment would bring me to tears.

The night before I had attended an Esoteric Yoga session and the presenter did say that we may feel quite vulnerable in the first two weeks. I really did not believe her as I was feeling pretty good at the session, but here I am now – feeling vulnerable.

I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” as I have done many times in the past: but today I decided to allow this vulnerability to be there and to deeply feel it.

I became aware of the many behaviours I could have gone into to reduce this vulnerability, to bury it back down again, and I felt pretty stunned with all the ways I had been doing this, until now:

  • Eating often and really wanting sweet things and nuts
  • Looking for distractions – making an excuse to go to the supermarket even though it could wait
  • Taking the dog for a walk when someone else could do this
  • Denying that anything is wrong when asked by my family and not asking for any support or help
  • Snapping and reacting to comments that family members innocently make
  • Turning the radio on to listen to the news in the car rather than just being with me
  • Itching to go out somewhere – the idea of shopping felt good
  • Busying myself with housework which I felt just had to get done
  • Feeling like I am a “martyr” having to do all these things and indulging in this
  • Choosing to write an assignment for my study that could wait as it was not due in for another week.

What a list! And all this to stop me from feeling my vulnerability, and because I was overriding what I felt, all the hurts would get buried in my body again.

I pondered on the things I could do instead; things that would support me and help me to explore what is underneath my vulnerability.

I could:

  • Stop and just feel, to spend time with me
  • Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body
  • Share with my family how I am truly feeling and delegate the housework tasks
  • Listen to one of the many supportive recordings from Universal Medicine
  • Read some excerpts from the Purple Books, written by Serge Benhayon
  • Meditate and come back to the Gentle Breath
  • Dress in clothes which make me feel gorgeous and feminine
  • Spend time on my hair and makeup
  • Have an Esoteric Healing Session
  • Take myself for a gentle walk
  • Write a blog!

Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?

What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.

When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.

I appreciate the continual support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and from Jeanette Macdonald (my Esoteric Practitioner), who always inspire me to be all that I am every day and to accept that my vulnerability is an essential part of being me.

By Anne Hishon, a delicious woman, partner, mother, Registered Nurse, New Zealand

Related Reading:
Vulnerability: Opening the way for Healthier Relationships
A Vulnerable Moment
Vulnerability is ‘In’

1,696 thoughts on “Feeling Vulnerable – Feeling Me

  1. When we remove our guards and allow ourselves to feel vulnerable we think we are defenseless and are going to get hurt, but the truth is we are able to feel everything as it is without any filter, imperfections and all.

  2. There are always distractions placed for us, but are they worth it? Me thinks not when one looks at what is possible in this life of ours.

  3. I spent many years showing my confidence outwardly but never any sign of vulnerability because it was always classed as a weakness, through Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I have found that to not show your vulnerability is to not be honest or true to ourselves, and when I learnt that vulnerability was actually a strength it changed everything, because to feel vulnerable means we are listening to our body.

  4. The body is constantly communicating with us. Being honest with how I am feeling and what it is sharing is the first step back to healing the body and coming back to me. The body also confirms where I am at by the delicacy felt in the body especially in my arms and the warmth radiating from my heart.

  5. To feel vulnerable is an opportunity to surrender to the support we are offered by God. To feel the support that is offered way beyond what we can physically see and yet there is a physical outplay of that support in our physical bodies.

  6. I can relate to this a lot. In fact just this morning and the last few days I’ve been feeling vulnerable and the thoughts of wanting to escape it have been very much in my face. I find this happens right before some big changes are about to occur, as if my whole body is in preparation mode and hence the discomfort and wanting to crawl into a hole and hide. Simply being aware of it helps take the edge off, because I’m then reminded that changes are never a bad thing, they just require some adjusting.

  7. That’s the thing there are so many ways to avoid ourselves and we’ve become very good at doing so, indeed we excel at it, but where in fact does it get us and is it worth it? Have spent a lot of time doing so I’d say no, and I know when I just stop, let myself be and just be honest about how I feel and what is going on, there is a freedom and a space I feel, and I am far from any stress or distraction I feel.

  8. Feeling vulnerable allows for a stop moment but because we interpret it as something negative and bothersome, we easily and habitually override it and go into a doing mode of some kind – anything to not feel vulnerable.

    1. I see the vulnerability as a strength also, it allows us to feel our true sensitivity and all that surrounds us on a deeper level. I am finding this brings a greater appreciation and understanding of others and all of life.

  9. When we choose not to bury our feelings but instead truly honour them then we are giving ourselves some of the greatest medicine possible.

    1. Yes and this simple yet powerful medicine comes with steps – clocking we are having a feeling is a step that requires a relationship with the body and awareness. It is well worth dating ourselves again to build this level of relationship which is – as you so rightly point out ‘the greatest medicine possible’.

  10. It is lovely you felt to share this Anne, as there is something in it for everyone. Vulnerability asks us to go deeper with ourselves and that is beautiful to feel and very empowering.

  11. This is a great example of how each moment brings us a choice to what we say yes to. Although we keep going in any scenario, what we say yes to has a clear impact in our body and present and future movements.

  12. Vulnerability is something I very rarely allow myself to feel, so I know very clearly the ways to avoid it that Anne has shared. I can however sense that there is a depth of strength and steadiness lying inside, and it is underneath a layer of holding, allowing my self to feel my vulnerability, I know it is the way to access, and claim this deeper steadiness.

  13. We have been conditioned to manage life very well in order to avoid feeling vulnerable, which is the very thing if embraced that will allow us the opportunity to develop our sensitivity which is our greatest asset in order to live life observing and not absorbing what is around us.

  14. A beautiful realisation that feeling our vulnerability is a strength and a choice to be aware of what we put in the way of knowing who we are.

  15. Catching ourselves going into the many behaviours that we use as a distraction to not feel how we are feeling in our body, opens our awareness to start to address and let go of the hurts we have buried that cap our true expression and being ourselves.

  16. A great sharing Anne thank you, When I allow my self to feel my vulnerability I have a sense of feeling into the depth of the true and real me where supporting myself with tender loving care is my natural way, it opens me up to a deeper sensitivity also to those around me.

  17. What these vulnerable moments show us is how very sensitive we are and that it is ok to be that perceptive, that is actually who we are. We are very delicate beings.

  18. Vulnerability is not the weakness we have made it out to be, but an offering from the body to pay attention to how we are feeling, and honour that in our own way.

  19. Sometimes I have mixed up feeling vulnerable and feeling flat. Feeling flat has a heaviness to it and the thoughts that go with it can be quite self depricating, feeling vulnerable opens you up to more connection and allows you the space to notice how you feel and honour this more- there is a lightness to it.

  20. Recently I felt vulnerable and I clocked that I thought something was wrong with me whenever I felt this way. It’s still a work in progress but there is definitely much more surrender now to vulnerability instead of fighting it.

    1. I reckon that would be common Nikki, and also feeling embarrassed, ashamed, or that it is weak, etc, instead of allowing the vulnerability to simply be there and explore it as a natural part of ourselves and life.

  21. Its in our movements that we can choose the space to expand and feel who we are and see how any movement during our day can nurture our being to be a wellbeing.

  22. When I don’t make what I feel ‘wrong’ but simply observe, I allow a flow. I give myself permission to be exactly where I am, and then from there my next decision is not difficult or tainted with self-judgement.

  23. I work with a gorgeous woman who doesn’t hold back her vulnerability. When she expresses from there and stays with it, I have to feel everything. And I mean everything. There is nothing that does not get exposed when someone is steady in their vulnerability – what a power it is.

  24. Anne this is such a strong and foundational piece for life. I appreciated this line today “Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?” It’s a great question, there are many ways to explore how we feel and support ourselves to stay with the vulnerability – thank you for the inspiration.

  25. Vulnerability has often been seen as a weakness, but honouring our vulnerability is key to deepening the relationship with ourselves and feeling the power that this brings.

  26. I’m finding that in those moments of feeling raw and vulnerable, our bodies are calling us to deepen. To deepen in the love we have for ourselves so that this becomes our true protection as it were – and not the guards we so often carry.

    1. Yes when we let ourselves feel vulnerable we gain a deeper intimacy with ourselves and also often with others too.

    2. That’s a beautiful way to express vulnerability Katerina, as a call from our body to be more loving with ourselves and attend to how we are truly feeling.

  27. Feeling vulnerable tends to be an emotion we’ll avoid at all costs to protect ourselves from unresolved hurts we’ve harboured often for considerable periods. When we do allow ourselves to go there and to feel that vulnerability, it offers us deeper insight and understanding into what’s behind the desire to protect and it’s in this understanding that we can begin to reconfigure the past and heal the hurts.

  28. We have patterns of dealing with our vulnerabilities and our hurts, they are tried and tested and yet they take us further away from our delicate, delicious, strong and discerning self which leaves us more vulnerable to being hurt than ever! How illogical is our logic?!

  29. We are inundated with the opportunities to bury our feelings, to smother, cover, squash, bury the way we feel… So to actually make the choice to stay and feel is extraordinary.

  30. Vulnerability is a part of being real, however we are not really encouraged to be real at all. It starts with the simple things like being asked “How are you?”, and saying “I’m fine” when we are not. I had a recent conversation with someone who asked me how I was so I talked about some health issues, these weren’t negatives as I am doing really well but I noticed how switched off the person was when the conversation had something in it that was real, and didn’t tick the box of a picture of life. I don’t find it a surprise that we can’t be real with ourselves, not being real or our true selves wherever we are in life is very pervasive.

  31. Children respond when we allow ourselves to feel the vulnerability. Feeling hurt my youngest son stretched his arms out to give me a hug and continued throughout the day giving me hugs when he felt to. He was aware of a situation that had arisen earlier for me to feel and as I took myself off to rest it wasn’t long before he came to check on me to see if I was ok. When we allow our vulnerability to be felt and seen and welcome love into our lives the support is there and sometimes in ways that we would least expect.

  32. It feels very nurturing to be able to accept ourselves unconditionally, no matter how we might be feeling, wherever we might be at.

  33. It can be very challenging to stay with those feelings of vulnerability without resorting to the many ways Anne has mentioned that we use to numb and distract ourselves. But it is certainly worth it to allow ourselves to fully feel, as there is a strength and power in it as it provides a greater awareness of how life works and how we can heal our hurts as well.

  34. Hey Anne , well done honouring your vulnerability that day and you even got to write the blog! And I am very glad you did as it is a very inspiring blog.

  35. I love your list of way to explore vulnerability Anne. There are so many ways we can support our evolving awareness of who we are and expand the joy innate in us all.

  36. Allowing ourselves to feel our own vulnerability and then allowing others to see it, is such a blessing for everyone. So many of us go through life trying to look like we have it all sorted when in reality we are needing help but afraid to ask in case it makes us look weak (which we think is a bad thing). How amazing then if someone we know, who has been playing this game too, drops the mask and shows us their vulnerability, their fragility and asks for help. Life-changing.

  37. “When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.”
    very profound Anne, everyday we are offered an opportunity to deal with hurts or to carrying on ignoring them burying them deeper only to go out more aggressively later.

  38. When you think about it being vulnerable being a weakness is such a strange misconception as it takes a lot of strength and courage to stay open and show all that we feel even when we may feel not so great in that moment.

  39. You describe beautifully the many things we use to distract ourselves to not feel what we are feeling, and we have made vulnerability a bad thing, all the while being fragile and sensitive allows us to feel and see what is really going on.

  40. I know the tendency to want to change how I feel too especially when I feel tired, vulnerable or sore in my body. It is great that you bring this up because I always feel these feelings as ‘there is something wrong’ instead of seeing it could be just an indication of what I might have done in the day was a bit much or that something is coming up to be healed – a much gentler way to be with these feelings. Also I noticed that when I stop and feel what I am feeling, often the feeling goes away quickly, but when I am trying to eat it away or distract myself the feeling is gone for a bit but back quickly more intense than before!

  41. I agree Anne, our vulnerability is an essential part of being ourselves and in not overriding these feelings when they arise we discover far more about our true selves to enable us to deepen our love and true expression.

  42. There is a point where we feel out of sorts, so we turn to the things like watching videos or eating junk food, in fact, any number of things. Then there is the next moment when we can consider what supports us and then choose – we always have a choice.

  43. I wonder if the Esoteric Yoga presenter saying you may feel vulnerable was all that was needed to give you permission to feel vulnerable, something we don’t normally allow in ourselves. It’s like having a parent who holds us and says its ok to cry, rather than telling us to pull ourselves together.

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