Feeling Vulnerable – Feeling Me

The other morning I woke up feeling very vulnerable – I was tearful, head-achy and I felt fragile and sensitive to anything that was being said to me. The smallest comment would bring me to tears.

The night before I had attended an Esoteric Yoga session and the presenter did say that we may feel quite vulnerable in the first two weeks. I really did not believe her as I was feeling pretty good at the session, but here I am now – feeling vulnerable.

I was aware of something in my body telling me to “get rid of it,” to put this vulnerability aside and “get on with your day,” as I have done many times in the past: but today I decided to allow this vulnerability to be there and to deeply feel it.

I became aware of the many behaviours I could have gone into to reduce this vulnerability, to bury it back down again, and I felt pretty stunned with all the ways I had been doing this, until now:

  • Eating often and really wanting sweet things and nuts
  • Looking for distractions – making an excuse to go to the supermarket even though it could wait
  • Taking the dog for a walk when someone else could do this
  • Denying that anything is wrong when asked by my family and not asking for any support or help
  • Snapping and reacting to comments that family members innocently make
  • Turning the radio on to listen to the news in the car rather than just being with me
  • Itching to go out somewhere – the idea of shopping felt good
  • Busying myself with housework which I felt just had to get done
  • Feeling like I am a “martyr” having to do all these things and indulging in this
  • Choosing to write an assignment for my study that could wait as it was not due in for another week.

What a list! And all this to stop me from feeling my vulnerability, and because I was overriding what I felt, all the hurts would get buried in my body again.

I pondered on the things I could do instead; things that would support me and help me to explore what is underneath my vulnerability.

I could:

  • Stop and just feel, to spend time with me
  • Allow, appreciate and accept what is happening in my body
  • Share with my family how I am truly feeling and delegate the housework tasks
  • Listen to one of the many supportive recordings from Universal Medicine
  • Read some excerpts from the Purple Books, written by Serge Benhayon
  • Meditate and come back to the Gentle Breath
  • Dress in clothes which make me feel gorgeous and feminine
  • Spend time on my hair and makeup
  • Have an Esoteric Healing Session
  • Take myself for a gentle walk
  • Write a blog!

Why would I choose to bury how I am truly feeling when there are so many healing ways for me to feel and explore my vulnerability?

What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.

When I make a choice to bury how I am truly feeling, I miss an opportunity to heal the hurts/wounds that are sitting in my body and that just does not make sense.

I appreciate the continual support from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine and from Jeanette Macdonald (my Esoteric Practitioner), who always inspire me to be all that I am every day and to accept that my vulnerability is an essential part of being me.

By Anne Hishon, a delicious woman, partner, mother, Registered Nurse, New Zealand

Related Reading:
Vulnerability: Opening the way for Healthier Relationships
A Vulnerable Moment
Vulnerability is ‘In’

1,635 thoughts on “Feeling Vulnerable – Feeling Me

  1. There is a reservoir of Gold awaiting our return when we allow ourselves to be Vulnerable and honour our inner-most Truth.

    1. Beautifully stated Deborah. I read this as a ‘reservoir of God’ ☺ which is also very true for such a Kingdom and all its riches lays within us and is accessible to us once we let down the walls we erected to keep us ‘safe’ but in-truth just locked us out from such glory.

  2. We often have a picture of what vulnerable looks like. It brings to mind, weakness, powerless, a walk over etc etc. What truly is vulnerability and what does it look like? Is it anything more than an openness to feel all that is there for you to feel and see. Like many things in this world once I held a picture of what something looks like this never allowed me to truly see it. Vulnerability is a strength, an all knowing and a true way for us to live and yet at times we avoid it and then some. I read this other article which also touches into and the effect is has in our relationships, http://www.unimedliving.com/relationships/building-relationships/evolving-relationships/vulnerability-opening-the-way-for-healthier-relationships.html We need to question the pictures we hold over things and in that question keep opening up to the possibility that the world isn’t run from Monday to Sunday.

  3. I am finding Anne that there is actual strength in being vulnerable, it amazes me that I can actually write this because I would have poo hoed this idea up until recently. But by allowing myself to feel more of me I have dropped the idea that being vulnerable is being a sissy, this was a carry over from childhood, where you had to act tough even if you didn’t feel it, there was no room for sissies in our family. Actually allowing myself to be vulnerable seems to allow a power to come through me that gives me a strength of purpose, which has been lacking in my life.

  4. Anne vulnerability is seen as a real weakness across society yet what I feel reading your blog is how incredible the strength of vulnerability actually is, that its very much the truth of how we often feel about situations and within ourselves yet we hardly ever allow ourselves to feel and explore it. Certainly something for us to all explore and for me as I feel vulnerable today I will let myself explore this further

  5. Looking at your list of what you could do to support yourself – which I also recognise as my tools as well, I am so filled with appreciation how much we have been given to support ourselves and how simple it all really is, it’s just so very simply about coming back to connect with the core of who we are and there are many, many ways to do it – and it totally is our choice.

  6. It is interesting to observe how we as a society have accepted the consciousness that being vulnerable is something that is bad, weak, and unwanted, and so we automatically discount this part of ourselves by overriding, numbing and shutting off what we are actually feeling. Yet in-truth this part of ourselves cannot be silenced as it part of who we are. In embracing our vulnerability, our sensitivity we are embracing more of who we naturally are and as such the great power that comes though honouring who we are, all of who we are.

  7. It is true that many of us often avoid our vulnerability. Yet as you have exposed Anne, so much lies in that space when we allow ourselves to go there.

  8. Vulnerability is a great strength – yet how this has been presented in society as anything but.
    Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to surrender to the love we are and to open ourselves up without fear of reprisal, persecution or slight is a needed way forward for humanity. A key no less to unlock the self-made prisons we hide behind rather than openly love and let live.

  9. I love coming back to these words of wisdom. I am feeling quite vulnerable this morning and noticed how I bring in hardness to not feel it. I am grateful that I can feel that and I realise how hardness feels quite yuckky in my body. And to think it used to be the norm. Reading this has given me an opportunity to appreciate how far I have come. Thank you (and me).

  10. Anne thank you for sharing, as I look back at how many times I have got myself busy so I don’t stop to feel how vulnerable I am feeling, this was an old pattern of mine. Now I am more aware and so I will do things that support me, listening to audios by Serge Benhayon or reading his books. Sometimes just sitting and connecting to my own breath.

  11. From very small we are taught to get on with it, soldier on and put on a brave face. We become so good at this by the time we are adults that we can actually fool ourselves (especially by being distracted or numb to what we actually feel). It seems scary to be vulnerable but it actually feels lovely to be honest that that is how you feel and to realise how aware and sensitive you are.

  12. It’s amazing how we can move away from our true feelings by just moving our body, taking a drink, having something to eat or whatever. The beauty is it takes the same movement towards ourselves to allow our true feelings space, allowing them rather than blocking them out. Our true feelings may have us feel vulnerable especially because we are not used to this way of responding. When we allow these feelings it is a gesture towards ourselves to deepen the holding and care that we have for ourselves so our self worth and esteem grow as we value what is really going on for us. This allows trust in ourselves to grow and an appreciation too as we allow a greater honesty and intimacy with ourselves. Others feel this too and often respond with an openness which is surprising and delightful at the same time.

  13. Allowing ourselves to feel vulnerable at first can be quite scary and something we are not well practiced at because we are taught to suck it up and get on with it, without getting the opportunity to express how we truly feel about a situation. Unfortunately we operate from the other end of the spectrum whereby it is seen as being weak to be vulnerable.

  14. The list of things we do to not feel could go on, for mile upon mile. The more I consider what you have offered Anne, the more I can see we have a lifestyle all geared around a kind of permanent distraction from reality. This makes me wonder, just how powerful is it when we let life be just ‘as it is’, surrender and accept the feeling we have. To be honest this is something I have rarely tried, but now having read your words, I am truly inspired.

  15. Allowing ourselves the space to stop and feel our vulnerability and all that may be coming up in our bodies also offers us a new movement and a change in our old patterns of distraction. These opportunities shows us that there is another way to be and to choose things that not only support our healing but enable us to grow and learn constantly.

  16. To be vulnerable always had a feeling of being weak when the idea was to be strong, and just get on with life, this is all a denial of who we are at these times where if we allow it we can feel the delicate sensitivity that is a very real part of us.

  17. Beautiful Anne, sharing your vulnerability now, is making me feel the vulnerability inside me and how often indeed I have pushed that aside, not paying attention to what I was feeling and so needing.. But when I read this, I start to feel how all of that was my choice, and that this vulnerability is still me (Inside me) and that i can allow it all out, and as you say: allow, accept and appreciate all I am, all I got and all that I bring.. Beautiful inspiration!

  18. I was really inspired by a colleague yesterday who was sharing how vulnerable they felt about a situation. They didn’t bury what they were feeling but expressed it in full and the thoughts they were having. This allowed them the space to not go down with the thoughts but to stay open to what they were feeling and ask for support- it was very beautiful.

  19. There are so many points that are being shared here Anne that are a great tool box for others to refer to. It is so interesting to note how we all have our own versions that we turn to when fragility or vulnerability are becoming a focal point in our day. It does leave room to ponder on how we can get up tight over a period of time to feel this way when the body offers us so much healing in the process. I know that when I have felt this way and honoured this, it has felt very uncomfortable. The willingness to just let it be and not let the famous override button take over to take back supposed control has made the long term healing that more powerful and a great foundation to return to. Thank you for writing about much needed topic for discussion for all.

  20. I have found then when I deny my fragility and vulnerability I go into a hardness or fight mode. It feels far healthier to admit to feeling delicate and fragile than anything else… I am however discovering the strength in delicacy and vulnerability as from here I can get more honest and open.

  21. There are indeed many ways to bury feeling vulnerable. But actually it is a really great feeling. But to allow that, and accept it, especially that it is part of being a man, is the way forward. If we fully accept that vulnerability is part of our essence, then we will do anything to bury this lovely feeling.

  22. Denying my fragility and vulnerability has been an ingrained pattern to not feel my hurts and thus overriding and not honouring my feelings. This has truly hurt my body, it became hard and also a lot of frustration was there (to be felt). By being honest about how I feel, I honour my sensitive body and I can let go what is not supporting me in truth.

  23. Vulnerability is a sign that our fortifications have been dismantled and without a shield of armour, we are left to feel all there is to feel and not be scared by it. The world is in great need of the love we each are and now is the time to open ourselves back up and share the essence of who we are with the world and not retreat from our expression of this love.

  24. I like feeling vulnerability, it can be scary at times, but I feel far more real, honest, in my body and humbled by this not putting on a front that everything is okay or I am somewhere I am not.

  25. To me, and many of us I would guess, the word vulnerability has always had connotations of weakness, a feeling that life is just way too hard and you simply don’t want to know the feelings that are bubbling under the surface; we will do anything to keep them from bubbling any further. But as I feel you discovered Anne, to do so is very harmful to our health and well-being and that by allowing ourselves to acknowledge our vulnerability we are opening a doorway to healing whatever lies behind this most natural of feelings.

  26. With vulnerability there’s a rawness and a realness that comes with it, an admission and a surrender to being human, and to being part of the whole – a knowing that we’re all together in this.

  27. ‘What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me.” When we accept everything about ourselves including our vulnerable moments which are part of our expression, we allow the space in our body to reconnect to who we are.

  28. I appreciate reading this today. I know that burying my feelings doesn’t work and when I do stop and feel them it takes moments to clear and leave my body. Compared to the days/weeks it takes to clear out everything I bring into my body to squash the feelings (foods, anxiety and raciness etc.) honouring my vulnerability does feel simpler these days and this blog was great to come back to and appreciate this fact.

  29. So beautiful to read this morning Anne, exactly what I needed to read, as I am experiencing me looking for distractions this week I do now recognize what I was avoiding and that is to go deeper and accept to live that vulnerability deep within and to not rum away from that but instead to live it and to give it a well deserved place in my every day living.

  30. Vulnerability is a state we often run from as it implies weakness. Alternately we can see it as a message from our body to deepen our care and love of self.

  31. So many of us are guilty of turning to our own version of the former list to run, hide or bury what surfaces that makes us feel uncomfortable but we often forget what rises is a gift offered to support us to address what is there for us to clear, leaving more space for us to be ourselves, free of the imposts we have taken on in life. It is deeply honouring to go to the resources we have that will support us in those moments to feel and heal what is there.

  32. With vulnerability comes a tremendous level of openness, it is exquisite in fact and absolutely natural.. moments of vulnerability not only remind us of who we are, but also show us how much we have conditioned ourselves to harden and live life in protection. In such moments there is much to learn from one’s body.

  33. What you have expressed here Anne is a great inspiration, thank you;
    “What I am learning is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me”.

  34. Yes, feeling vulnerable is an unsettling feeling that we rarely allow ourselves to just be with. Yet the growth that comes from allowing it has blown me away, it is a great healing and means more awareness about the situations that might have made us feel like we couldn’t cope but find we actually can with much more confidence than we thought.

  35. I remember doing a Esoteric Yoga session in which at the end of the session I felt soooo sensitive that all sound and talking around me was like hurting my cells. Slowly after I kind of adjusted to my old way of being with all this. This is; less connected with my body, to be less aware by hardening my movements. This we adjust naturally not to feel the painful feelings. But the way back to ourselves is clear. It is to be in our body and surrender to all that love in which we can hold all what is not love.

  36. Why are we so afraid of being vulnerable? For me I felt to show my vulnerability I will just get crushed, that was my old belief. Thankfully that old belief no longer holds true in my body. When I allow myself to feel vulnerable is when I feel the most delicate, tender and raw and in this space so much grace can flow through me which always supports my next movements.

  37. I used to feel vulnerability was my greatest weakness I am now embracing my vulnerability as a great strength and how this acceptance of myself allows me to nurture and support this beautiful quality in others.

  38. I love to read this awesome blog again and re-read all the ways we try and not feel vulnerable, and yet as you stated which really resonated with me today; ‘ is to accept that these vulnerable moments are part of my expression and that they are there to support me and to help me find my way back to me’. This is just gold.

  39. Ooooh, I know this one well Anne. Busying myself so that I don’t have a moment to spare to remember that I have a body that is attached to my head and that within that body there is a gentleness and vulnerability that at times feels easily hurt by what is going on around me. So the tactic is to cram as much on my plate as possible to make sure I have no time to feel any of it. It doesn’t end well!!

  40. As you have beautifully shared Anne, feeling vulnerable is part of our expression and the more we accept that the more we are able to deepen our relationship with ourselves and to learn from feeling what our body is communicating to us.

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