The Power of Healing Our Hurts

Growing up as a boy I know the feeling of being judged for something that I am.

From the age of 8, when I first heard of the possibility that two men could live together as a couple and love each other just like Mum and Dad did, it was then I knew that I would one day be living as a gay man. Very innocently I told a friend this. Weeks later I discovered that being ‘gay’ was seen as a bad thing by the majority of people, and that this word could be used as a weapon. I simply couldn’t understand how loving another man could not be right! And how could a word that described such a beautiful thing be used to hurt another?

Since I could not change my natural expression, I learned to hide my innocence and began to judge and condemn my own expression. I developed a pattern of contracting away from who I truly was and started to express less of me, even pretending to fall in love with girls and so on.

All this manipulation was part of a game to adapt to what the world asked of me, not understanding that I was not truly connecting to people but to the falsity they themselves presented with. Lies connecting to lies. Not very pleasant!

But underneath this hurt of being bullied for an expression that I couldn’t in truth change, was another, even deeper hurt.

Years later in sessions with Esoteric Healing practitioners, I was able to feel the pain of not being met in the joy I carried as a baby. I was able to feel an immense sadness about the fact that not everybody around me was able to feel the same joy. To cope with this sadness I hardened and numbed my body in anger and frustration, and in reaction, lost trust in everybody and closed myself down. On this foundation of contraction all the misery and loneliness of my teenage years was then built.

I had a lot of support from family, friends, therapists, esoteric practitioners and finally Serge Benhayon to find the root cause of the hurt I was carrying in my body.

This was a process of stepping up and opening my eyes again to what is truly going on in the world. Through healing the hurts I am now able to start calling out what is not love in my own body – and equally so, what is not love in the world around me. This not only supports my well-being, but also serves all who I am in contact with – my family, friends, clients and the community.

For two years now I have not once been bullied because of being gay. And I now openly express love with my partner, walking hand in hand in the streets or sharing a kiss or a post on social media.

This for me is a miracle and most definitely a result of having cleared the hurt I carried, by learning to love and accept all that I am and by simply making a choice to let the world in, and to live the true me.

Living as a gay man and facing the difficulties this comes with in our current society, was simply God’s tool to awaken me. It was then I realised that until bullying in all forms completely ceases in this world, it is only then can we truly celebrate.

By Felix Schumacher, Complementary Therapies Practitioner, Hamburg

Related Reading:
~ Loving Daily Choices and Healing Hurts
~ Relationships – Why we should come Clean about our Deepest Hurts
~ We are Not our Hurts

1,560 thoughts on “The Power of Healing Our Hurts

  1. Thank you Felix for a beautiful sharing, something that we all must learn to do if we are to live the joy that naturally lives within ” learning to love and accept all that I am and by simply making a choice to let the world in, and to live the true me.”

  2. Our hurts can affect the choices we make and we can judge people based on what has happened to us in the past. This has been my experience, but I can see how unfair it is and how it leads to people not being accepted for who they are.

  3. Made me smile to read this today just after the Australian public has voted solidly in support of gay marriage. Love is Love – nothing to do with gender.

  4. Life never deals us more than we can handle. This is beautiful confirmation of your expressing the love that you are in the face of great adversity, Felix.

  5. Recently Australia voted Yes to support gay marriages, I found it very hard to believe in this day and age that we even had to vote for the same rights as heterosexual couples, love is love and is not limited to man/woman relationships only.

    1. It needs couples like Felix and his partner and myself and my partner to reflect to the world that love is genderless. No matter if you are heterosexual or homosexual. The more couples step into their responsibility and live their purpose and true love, the more people will get reflected this unchangeable fact and truth.

  6. Love is love . . . we are love . . .man and man . . woman and man . . . woman and woman. Each and everyone of us is equal in our essence.

  7. Felix, this is a gorgeous sharing. And I must say that the impositions of society are not supportive, but worse yet is when we take these on board and judge ourselves by these false standards. Thankfully you have come through that now and are free to be you and express all of you, and glow for it too. And in this you stand as a living breathing and vital and shining role model for others around. Thank you!

  8. Love just is. It has nothing to do with gender, age, shape or size. Love is unconditional in its holding and its beholding. When we embrace this we can also be there to reflect that to others.

  9. This is a beautiful example of transforming a personal hurt into a revelation and genuine care that is relevant for all of us and inclusive of everyone equally.

  10. It is amazing how you could change from feeling totally crushed by the bullying that does happen around gay couples to feeling able to express yourself freely in your relationship. It shows that even though the world around us might not change, if we ourselves change, life can be totally different. And it is the only way to change as claiming love ourselves is the only way to inspire the world to do the same.

  11. By healing our hurts and accepting the love we truly are, we open ourselves up to see what’s truly going on in the world in which we live today. We see that the cruelty, the acts of aggression and the often unspeakable abuse is pervasive in a society that has lost its connection to this universal love each of us has within. Which is why we are so often holding back from deepening in our love, or even considering it is is possible. Love brings the responsibility of seeing what is not love right before us.

  12. Getting to the root cause of our hurts is not something that is necessarily encouraged ,and when it is, it is often to lay the finger of blame on our childhhod, other people, what happened to us at some stage of our lives, when circumstances were too much for us and we never got over it. This can be a dead end street unless we begin to take responsibility for how we behaved and to allow ourselves the space to change that, understanding the innate power and glory, innocence and joy, that we hold within and, with the support of others, the capacity we have to reconnect to that

  13. Everything is energy- clearing our hurts does have the effect, that situation won´t occur anymore- in your case the bullying. Isn´t that amazing and a proper proof, that everything is connected in this world. You don´t need the challenge anymore because you embraced your responsibility and solidly live it. An amazing example how reflecting and healing on our hurts does have the ripple effect in the outside. Everything is there to support us- even if it is something unpleasant confronting us.

    1. Yes Steffie, we need to understand that living with hurts, which we all do, is limiting us in our ability to live our essence in full and it is our responsibility to heal those hurts, one by one to do so.

  14. It’s interesting to ponder on bullying and why it happens. Really, what is the problem if two men chose to live together and be in an intimate relationship? Why should this be a concern to anyone but the two men in the relationship, yet it commonly is. The same applies for any sort of bullying – why does it happen? What triggers others to act in such a way and why are they triggered? Perhaps this is from hurts that are unhealed too.

  15. The bullying may not stop but because we have healed our hurts, it no longer affects us. If we are not feeding it from our end, it loses power until it can no longer be sustained. All emotions and destructive behaviours are the same – so it’s only our reactions (which come from out hurts) that give them power and keep them alive. It takes two to tango, so if there’s only one doing the tangoing (bullying etc.), it falls apart.

  16. I think of the young children in my life that I know of aged eight and how they already know what is true for them, there is an inner knowing and a joy carried in their bodies of knowing this truth, it is when we get older and start to feel the pressure around us that as children we can lose that all knowingness.

  17. While we think we are okay, all the little nudges we get in life that divert us from living who we are are not that innocent as in fact they do hurt us on a fundamental level as we are not appreciated for what we in essence bring to this world.

  18. How often do we hide who we are when we know if will be judged and not accepted? This is illness just waiting to happen because it is a denial of what we feel and from that moment on everything is fake or forced for the approval of others. Thank you for your sharing.

  19. This is a beautiful blog Felix, the theme here of allowing oneself to be adored and celebrating this, letting it be seen and felt. Basically showing the world the purity and sweetness of love is something I have struggled with as a heterosexual woman. The world is so fast paced, people are under financial strain and are not educated to deal with life and all the challenges that present in relationships – including the rise in illnesses. Among all business where is the space to stop and just feel and appreciate a loving moment? It feels like a big deal when we allow such expression in public because it is so against the grain of the ‘society’ we have created. This isn’t just about kissing or being in a relationship, it’s about letting the world see and feel the divinity that lives within each and everyone of us.

  20. May this be the same for all people everywhere within the world ‘For two years now I have not once been bullied because of being gay. And I now openly express love with my partner, walking hand in hand in the streets or sharing a kiss or a post on social media.’

  21. ‘Through healing the hurts I am now able to start calling out what is not love in my own body – and equally so, what is not love in the world around me.’ Healing our hurts and letting go of protection – very beautiful Felix.

  22. ” All this manipulation was part of a game to adapt to what the world asked of me,” Is it not amazing the amount of work and effort we put into being who we are not just to keep the world happy and keep ourselves in misery.

  23. Love is love. It has no borders or boundaries. It is we who seek to stamp a divide where otherwise there is only the Oneness we each in essence are.

  24. It is interesting that when you cleared the hurt, you were able to express the love for your partner more openly. Bullying is a problem in our society but it starts in our homes and my first experience of it was with my siblings. We can also fall into the trap of bullying ourselves, with the self-talk in the mirror or unrealistic expectations. You are leading the way with love and it sounds like you are wanting to celebrate fully, only when all forms of bullying cease to be.

  25. Two days ago I felt a hurt in my body and cried. I also felt something come up that I had been burying because I was ashamed to feel it. I nominated the bullying sometimes very subtle which has been occurring in my life for a long time. To call it out for what it was and is has been an incredibly gift of love towards myself and others. I am becoming aware of the abuse I have allowed into my life in protection of myself fooled by thinking I was protecting another or others. I am being constantly reminded of the fact that it is through self love I am taking responsibility for my part in the world.

  26. This makes me realise what I consider as my ‘hurts’ are nothing compared to the pain of not living what we truly are. So painful that we even create other hurts not to feel THE pain. Maybe that is the whole point of creation – not to feel the pain, to stay looking away from what we have stepped away from.

  27. We seem as a human race afraid to look at our hurts for many reasons and use many methods to do that…such as ‘keeping up a stiff upper lip’, ‘soldiering on’ or hardening ourselves as to not to feel. I feel reading this blog today, it is what is holding us back the most.

  28. ” I simply couldn’t understand how loving another man could not be right! ”
    Its funny really the reason you could not understand it , for loving anyone will always be right.

  29. ‘I realised that until bullying in all forms completely ceases in this world, it is only then can we truly celebrate.’ – hear hear to that Felix, bullying and abuse is where we have got as being our normal and our accepted way of acting in this world. We all deeply know that is not our truth and we deserve nothing but love. So yes I fully agree we all, every single one of us in society needs to call out the abuse for what it is and say no this is not acceptable anymore. Then we can Celebrate.

  30. Love how you are claiming yourself and the truth of your expression Felix. I have found in my experience gay men to have a very beautiful and gorgeous knowing of the inner sensitivity and delicate nature which are the expressions of a true man that are rarely seen in this world today.

    1. Indeed, we are all a balance of maleness and femaleness but the world has shaped us to be predominantly maleness at the expense of the femaleness. Gay men help us to see how out of balance we men are.

  31. A beautiful sharing Felix, healing our hurts is absolutely life changing, imagine the healing others also receive when we choose love over our hurts.

  32. Most Children are incredibly wise and in touch with who they are and what they feel. As we grow up we sell out to everything that we knew was false all along. It’s powerful to observe this without judgement and return to the wise being we are.

  33. There is nothing unnatural about genuinely loving another person – it is innately natural regardless of gender. Beautiful to read how you healed the hurt of being rejected for something totally natural and true to your expression.

  34. ‘This for me is a miracle and most definitely a result of having cleared the hurt I carried, by learning to love and accept all that I am and by simply making a choice to let the world in, and to live the true me.’ This is profoundly inspiring! There’s a science to this that’s rarely spoken about: – that we attract situations that give us the opportunity to heal our hurts and learn from our mistakes etc. I love how you’ve claimed your new experiences of being out in the world in expression of who you are. What comes up is how fearful I am of doing so. The not so innocent expression of saying ‘touch wood’ when expressing something positive to prevent its immediate demise is a superstition that I still entertain. Rather than take responsibility for how I live consistently, I can be fearful of unknown forces. Reading this shows me I can deal with my hurts and not be bullied by forces coming through people in the form of abuse.

  35. When we embrace who we are, we come out naturally, seeing that in others and share and express from there – life is much more flowing when you connect to who you truly are.

  36. When I was growing up the word gay didn’t exist so far as I am aware with regard to sexuality and the words that were used were all hard and ugly words. I don’t recall ever hearing or reading anything that supported the idea that it was perfectly natural to love someone of the same sex. Everyone seemed to be united in thinking it to be a terrible and unnatural thing and I was no different. So no one wanted to admit to being homosexual understandably since doing so would lead to judgement and condemnation. You would lose your job and your status in society. This is one small but perhaps isolated way in which the world has changed for the better since those days.

  37. Living in a world of pretense is a very painful and lonely place to be. And in my experience, it is living the lie that causes the pain simply because we are going against everything that within we know to be true but fearful of bringing out into the world for fear of the consequences. To let go of the pretense releases the self-imposed shackles and so life can be lived in full once again.

  38. It is sad that we do not see the responsibility we have to speak up when we see something is not right till that ‘not right’ becomes personal. Perhaps one day we will see it is all personal.

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