The Power of Healing Our Hurts

Growing up as a boy I know the feeling of being judged for something that I am.

From the age of 8, when I first heard of the possibility that two men could live together as a couple and love each other just like Mum and Dad did, it was then I knew that I would one day be living as a gay man. Very innocently I told a friend this. Weeks later I discovered that being ‘gay’ was seen as a bad thing by the majority of people, and that this word could be used as a weapon. I simply couldn’t understand how loving another man could not be right! And how could a word that described such a beautiful thing be used to hurt another?

Since I could not change my natural expression, I learned to hide my innocence and began to judge and condemn my own expression. I developed a pattern of contracting away from who I truly was and started to express less of me, even pretending to fall in love with girls and so on.

All this manipulation was part of a game to adapt to what the world asked of me, not understanding that I was not truly connecting to people but to the falsity they themselves presented with. Lies connecting to lies. Not very pleasant!

But underneath this hurt of being bullied for an expression that I couldn’t in truth change, was another, even deeper hurt.

Years later in sessions with Esoteric Healing practitioners, I was able to feel the pain of not being met in the joy I carried as a baby. I was able to feel an immense sadness about the fact that not everybody around me was able to feel the same joy. To cope with this sadness I hardened and numbed my body in anger and frustration, and in reaction, lost trust in everybody and closed myself down. On this foundation of contraction all the misery and loneliness of my teenage years was then built.

I had a lot of support from family, friends, therapists, esoteric practitioners and finally Serge Benhayon to find the root cause of the hurt I was carrying in my body.

This was a process of stepping up and opening my eyes again to what is truly going on in the world. Through healing the hurts I am now able to start calling out what is not love in my own body – and equally so, what is not love in the world around me. This not only supports my well-being, but also serves all who I am in contact with – my family, friends, clients and the community.

For two years now I have not once been bullied because of being gay. And I now openly express love with my partner, walking hand in hand in the streets or sharing a kiss or a post on social media.

This for me is a miracle and most definitely a result of having cleared the hurt I carried, by learning to love and accept all that I am and by simply making a choice to let the world in, and to live the true me.

Living as a gay man and facing the difficulties this comes with in our current society, was simply God’s tool to awaken me. It was then I realised that until bullying in all forms completely ceases in this world, it is only then can we truly celebrate.

By Felix Schumacher, Complementary Therapies Practitioner, Hamburg

Related Reading:
~ Loving Daily Choices and Healing Hurts
~ Relationships – Why we should come Clean about our Deepest Hurts
~ We are Not our Hurts

1,444 thoughts on “The Power of Healing Our Hurts

  1. It is so true that it is only when we heal our hurts that we can become aware of all that is not love in our own body and thus around us. The world is blessed that you have been so committed to dealing with your hurts and are now expressing openly as a gay man and reflecting that to all around you.So needed in a world where there may be less open homophobia etc but where there is still a lot of discrimination towards anyone who is deemed to be ‘different’.

  2. ‘Living as a gay man and facing the difficulties this comes with in our current society, was simply God’s tool to awaken me.’ Such an awesome attitude when so many see any difference they have as a burden and something that has been inflicted on them rather than embracing it as you have and stepping up to that responsibility.

  3. I have changed in the way I express myself, no longer do I hold back who I am, as I once did, I used to get comments and insults of the sexual kind from men, walking by, on the street etcetera, that has not happened for over 5 years, I can feel that the way I hold myself has supported this change to occur.

  4. Felix, this is really interesting that the bullying has stopped because of you claiming and accepting who you are, ‘by learning to love and accept all that I am and by simply making a choice to let the world in, and to live the true me.’ We cannot change the outside world and so it is by living who we truly are and not holding back that can make change in the world – very inspiring Felix, thank you.

  5. All over the world people are being bullied, intimidated, abused and even killed for not fitting with whatever the image of ‘normal’ is. But as you have shared our image of ‘normal’ is based on the hurts we have had from when we were very tiny. So the pictures are somehow going to be skewed one way or the other into what we want to see rather than what is truly present.

  6. Healing our hurts feels amazing. This is something I am learning. And you don’t have to spend thousands of pounds not years in a therapy room wallowing over stuff to do so, many can be cleared in a split second simply by nominating the hurt.

  7. The repercussions of holding a hurt and conversely of freeing ourselves from that hurt are far beyond what we can imagine. Anything we let go of reveals another layer of treasure and brings us closer to our essence, the purity of who we are.

  8. Great sharing Felix. Our not expressing in full who we are, indeed creates the opening for other people to judge on whatever piece of us that they deem is not perfect. Our “holes” attract the force through people which is then judging, criticizing, blaming etc us.

    1. The holes are what can often lead us to doubt rather than celebrate the quality of truth that we are chasing to live in a world that often hides or masks goodness in order to keep the status quo.

  9. I love coming back to this blog as it so clearly showcases that importance of healing ones hurts, what the impacts are around doing this and how much healing our hurts can have such a positive impact on so many areas of our life.

  10. A touching story of what we are aware of from a very young age but for whatever reason we choose to internalise it and only let out what we think the world needs to see or is asking for. As the article is saying as soon as you choose this it brings with it a certain view of the world that you think is true, after all you are seeing it in front of your face. What if your choice acts as a magnet though and attracts certain situations to you in a way to have you open to the face of what you are carrying. This article presents how what we choose then brings to us that choice in reflection to either confirm the truth or to bring you to the truth. When you make life a dedication to what is being reflected to you then you can see why things are like they are on another level. If we keep playing into the world a part of us, a make up of what we think it wants then our reflection will be for us to heal or open that up. What goes on in front of our face is never good and bad, it’s truth or not and so it is up to us to move ourselves to a place that we are able to let go of what isn’t true or working and confirm the truth and appreciate what that brings. No one ever said things aren’t going to hurt but it is always how we are after that point, how we return to our true natural being that is a key. If we allow things to change us then that is our part to feel and see why because we always have a choice in there.

  11. It is a sad fact in life that we do not truly connect to people but to the lies and facades they present themselves with and settle for this level of relationship… but we deny ourselves the true beauty and depth that is possible when we choose to step outside of the game, address our hurts and protections and offer a truth in connection and reflection the world is craving.

    1. Sure Jenny, the bullying is like the prison guard who tries to keep us imprisoned in a lesser way of being and until the bullying is not there anymore we all will have to live with the result of this ill expression in people.

  12. I’ve always admired gay men and women who have decided to express themselves openly for it is most certainly not always a popular choice to do so. Though you have to wonder how we have as a society come to denigrate the kind of beautiful and natural expression such as that felt by an 8 year old boy.

  13. “Until bullying in all forms completely ceases in this world, it is only then can we truly celebrate.” Indeed Felix, although it is sad to realise this quote in full it is a reality in our societies we have to become aware of and take with us in our lives and present this truth wherever we go.

  14. It is only until we are willing to accept that which has happened in the past that we can let go of hurts which have tainted our relationships with others and break down the protection in our bodies to emanate the true love that we are.

  15. It is sometimes dumbfounding to see the hate that comes at people who are gay, is it the fact they are considered “different”. Perhaps it is that it is a threat to the created normality that many reside in, nothing can threaten this. It is a blight on our civilisation that we see people so hurt that they can’t accept another in whatever sexuality they are born with.

  16. It’s interesting how being and living joyfully creates so much reaction and at times attack in and from others because they are miserable.

    1. When true love is lived, regardless of the male or female aspect in a relationship, it acts as a powerful reflection for all those around and does then make itself a target of attack for those who do not want to be reminded of what they have yet to live or have turned their back on.

  17. This is a beautiful confirmation of the power of healing our hurts and the miracles that this choice can bring.

  18. We often wait for others to draw us out or prove that they can be trusted, however it takes our willingness to heal our hurts and not condemn the whole of humanity for what a few have done.

  19. Until we commit to start to heal our own hurts, we don’t recognise and and so don’t call out abuse on a wider scale. If there’s no self-love within, and we live with self criticism and abuse, then there’s no marker of what love is, in or outside of the body.

  20. Felix, this is so beautiful to read. I have read your blog previously but was drawn to reading it again today, and I can say your tenderness and your sensitivity are palpable in the blog – and I could not agree more with what you said at the start: “how could a word that described such a beautiful thing be used to hurt another?” – though today I do understand how this happens, and at the same time I also know how far away this is from our true nature.

  21. ‘But underneath this hurt of being bullied for an expression that I couldn’t in truth change, was another, even deeper hurt.’ Bullying is very insidious and incessant in this world – and is something we should not be shaped by – but instead something we expose as being weak by revealing the real power of our truth.

  22. We all have difficulties to face in life, no one gets away with a life of no issues, not even the wealthy, healthy or celebrities. The funny thing is it is those so called issues that offers us evolution and growth, should we choose to approach it that way.

    1. Sure Heather, it is in fact all of our own making, the issues in life and how we use these to keep us small and in a lesser state of being. Not until we are willing to see this, can we see that the so called issues are our own making to keep ourselves in this lesser state and therefore, when rightly understood, also the doorway back to who we naturally are.

  23. ” It was then I realised that until bullying in all forms completely ceases in this world, it is only then can we truly celebrate.” And this will be a celebration we all will never forget as then we will be living from our natural essence in full acceptance, not only from all people around us, but most importantly fully accepted and appreciated by ourselves firstly and foremost.

  24. A great inspiration you are Felix for following your true feelings, many in society feel the judgment they may get and the backlash for speaking and claiming their truth and feel pressured to conform.
    Every time someone stands in their own truth no matter what that truth may be heaven rejoices, and people around get inspired to also speak and honour their truth.

  25. Beautiful and inspirational with such love and truth Felix an amazing sharing of the importance and necessity of healing our hurts to be able to live and express fully all we are in our truth . Only this can bring about an end to bullying as a culture so ingrained in our society.

  26. We are so hung up as a society on the ‘war on gender’ (sexism, homophobia and the like) that we use this to avoid what is truly being asked of us when we share ourselves with others within a relationship, be it romantic or otherwise, and that is to show the other the fullness of who we are – complete transparency with no walls left to hide behind. This is a work in process for us all but the more we ‘go there’ in terms of letting each other back in, the more we make it safe for others to follow. In- truth we are One but for so long we have lived in separation to this union it can initially seem a daunting thing to come home to the love that we are.

  27. When we heal what has been hurting us, we literally allow the space again for the love that we have to bring the understanding to what we can now let ourselves see, and read. We see the brutality, the bullying that is rife, and we can call out the abuse with the authority now of the knowing of what this is, the evil that is wielded. Whereas when we come from our hurts we cannot see. It is our pain that is calling out the wrong-doing, but as it is from the reaction it has no authority and thus changes nothing. The power of healing our hurts is that it is then that we make a difference. Healing our hurts is absolute responsibility.

  28. I’m not going to lie I carry so many hurts around in my body – it’s exhausting and very very heavy – trying to work out from my how to let them go doesn’t work either – everything is pointing to – no matter how much I try to resist and avoid it taking much deeper care and love of myself and my body. From here I feel things will be much clearer – living in reaction to the world, or trying to fight it, and or other peoples choices doesn’t help anybody.

  29. To heal our hurts allows us to receive life with a fresh perspective and to not taint life with our projected pictures and needs. Healing our hurts enables us to deeply accept life and all others for where they are at and to remain strong in our own rhythm and presence always.

  30. When we are able to call out what is not love in ourselves we are able to build a true foundation of love that supports us to hold a steadiness within and quality that reflects a true way of being.

  31. “All this manipulation was part of a game to adapt to what the world asked of me, not understanding that I was not truly connecting to people but to the falsity they themselves presented with” – wow. So true, we react to others’ reaction and that is often what we choose to base our relationship with them on, and not their true essence, and by doing that, we are leaving our essence too.

  32. What is described here so clearly is the point that we withdraw and separate from who we truly is a choice from which can take a very long time to revisit.

  33. To judge another for who they are tells us that the person who is judging is actually judging themselves first and foremost. We can only judge if there is a lack of acceptance.

  34. It is so interesting isn’t it that the world responds to how we are feeling about ourselves, in the fact you had fully accepted your expression and was letting people in so no longer are your jeered at by strangers etc. Of course this does not always play out but generally we are creating the world we live in, from our perceptions we create our reality.

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