The Power of STOP

Today I experienced the power of STOP.

Lately I’ve had to deal with a situation where opposing views started to become evident, things seemed unfair and mentalities got narrow, and we were suddenly immersed in a scenario that I like to call “reason fights reason and reason proves wrong to reason.” Anger and frustration kicked in, leading soon after to unwanted consequences for all people and relationships involved.

I felt the pull to stop and I was able to easily let go of my need to feed the discussion any further – which was already turning into an argument. I felt how the other person thanked me deeply for that. We both surrendered and it felt great in our bodies and also in the space we were sharing.

I don´t always choose to stop and I´ve seen many people that find it difficult too, as for example, in our day to day life: 

  • When we open our eyes in the morning, we don´t really stop before jumping out of bed. There is already a cascade of thoughts rushing us through our day ahead.

  • When we greet others, we rarely stop to connect to them by looking in their eyes and having a feel for who they are.

  • During busy days we don`t even stop to eat properly, but do so in anxiousness and in a rush.

  • We don´t stop between activities or when we feel tired because there is always so much to do next and we need to get everything done.

  • We get annoyed with other people that walk slower, or who are taking longer to pay in the queue. We rarely stop our irritation and keep projecting frustration onto their backs.

  • We don´t stop arguing because we don´t want people to take us for fools, and we have a need to put forward our point, avoiding at all cost the possibility of being hurt or humiliated.

  • We act in debilitating and sabotaging ways because we are unable to stop our negative thoughts and criticism.

The list goes on and we live in this non-stop vicious cycle of doing and demonstrating that we all have a place in this world through motion, being right and proving our worth through achieving and succeeding.

No wonder why, after so much motion, drive to attain, need to compete and defend our hurts, we people find it difficult to stop.

We are definitely immersed in a momentum that we have constantly fed with impetus, push, drive, force and attack.

  • Are we so addicted to the high we get from drama and upheaval?

  • Is our need to always sort things out first so insidious, no matter what state of being we are in?

  • Why do we want to make sure people never take us wrong or blame us; why do we need to get our point across and have the last word?

  • Could it be that on a deeper level we are invested in a goal outside of us, as a way to not feel the amount of self-loathing we carry and how little appreciation we have for ourselves for just being who we are?

Why is it that we find it so hard to surrender and become humble, and much easier to be pushy and disputatious? Why is it that we find it almost impossible and even disempowering to stop?

In my personal experience for example, many times I have found it almost impossible to stop and just recently I have accepted that one of my most painful characteristics was to be `driven´. It has been a way of doing things and going through life in total disregard of my body and others. It has been a poison to my body, and this drive has spoiled several new and old relationships. It has achieved nothing but ephemeral victories that have left me isolated, deeply anxious and disconnected.

Thanks to Serge Benhayon I have been able to introduce a very supportive quality as an antidote to this way of being, and that is gentleness. Gentleness as a bridge to find, feel, accept and experience my beautiful stillness within.

It is this quality that is really missing in today´s society because we don´t really appreciate stillness as much as motion, so we haven´t created that bridge and connection to that place within us – and mainly because we feel incapable to stop.

Why not start by considering the possibility that ‘to stop’ is actually not as difficult as it seems? STOP is a simple, resounding, punchy and powerful expression to bear in mind. It can be both a firm and gentle choice we can make wherever, whenever, as it has no prior requirements, no need to prove anything first or go through struggle, or even use strong will, fall into humiliation, or feel guilty.

If we only experienced more often how deeply empowering, corrective and simple it really is, many conflicts, separations, illnesses, arguments, and spoiled relationships could all be avoided, just by choosing ‘stop’ in an instant and pulling back. It is the door to surrendering which gives us the immediate possibility to feel gentleness in our bodies again.

The more we try it and choose to stop again and again, the more we will get to see the illusion we have created when trying to find our identity, worth and salvation in motion and turmoil. We all come from stillness, harmony and love, and it gets quite easy with time to stop, especially when we start realising that the entire universe really supports us to STOP!

I love the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom brought by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. With deep appreciation and joy for these teachings.

By Luz Helena Hincapié, Bogotá, Colombia

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1,335 thoughts on “The Power of STOP

  1. Love re-reading this blog and enjoying the confirmation my body is bringing me since being more aware of making space for ‘stop’ moments in my day.

  2. Is it possible that the foods we eat and what we drink fuels the constant drive in our bodies so it is very difficult to actually stop and is this game the astral plays with us because by keeping ourselves in constant motion we are so very far away from the stillness we actually come from.

  3. It is true that we have a huge imbalance between stillness and motion as you have shared – we are far too much in motion which then becomes drive. In many cases we have also lost track of what true stillness is for it is not about stopping or not moving. You can walk and move quite fast in stillness and equally lie in bed and be very racy.

  4. Marcia Owen is currently running a sitting yoga series which is all about the STOP and is a great support for anyone who would like to feel the power of this simple moment . Marcia runs these on an ongoing basis.

  5. Whilst I may have lived according to your “we do this and that list” that rarely applies to me anymore except one of those…. I still have trouble with people walking slowly in front of me and am generally not a fan of queues!

    1. I can also report that not living in this driven way you have exposed not only brings much more joy and quality to life it is also much more productive.

  6. So why is it that most of us find it so hard to stop when our bodies are begging us to do so? Is it possible that we don’t stop because in the stillness that comes from the stop we cannot ignore how tired we are, how driven we feel and how our body is asking for another way of living? I know that was why I found it hard to stop but I now know that stopping is the most valuable gift I can give to myself as with it comes the space to take the time to simply be with me and to feel how I am in that moment in time.

  7. Stopping enables us to address the energy we have been choosing and brings the opportunity to change the quality of our choices to be far more loving ones.

  8. I smiled reading this line “reason fights reason and reason proves wrong to reason.” , that so aptly describes the spin we get into and a stop, a surrender takes us out of this, otherwise we stay in perpetual motion without engaging the stillness offered to us by life.

  9. When we choose to stop, particularly in the middle of a busy day, it takes a few moments to reconnect back to ourselves but the difference in the quality of the next part of the day can change exponentially.

  10. Having stop moments throughout the day gives us the opportunity to recharge and connect with ourselves. I often find that when I stop and take those moments for myself, my energy levels are higher than when I push through and ignore those golden opportunities.

  11. Gentleness is a very supportive way to be in life as it doesn’t let you get caught in the behaviours that are harming for you and other people around you. The need to be right feels hard and horrible in contrast to gentleness.

      1. Our Souls are never lost. Our Soul is always available in its absolute fullness it is just us that checks out at times.

      2. Agreed Nicola, our Souls are never lost, it is us who have lost sight of our Souls! So is it possible that one of the magic moments in life is when we understand what you have shared and start our path of return to our Soul.

  12. The space offered by a pause, a stop to reconnect to the body allows us to feel and see more clearly the broader perspective. It also affects the quality we then take to every movement thereafter.

  13. I love having these moments in life where I pause and appreciate the quality that connection brings.. to us all. The impact the quality of our movements have on all around us is powerful and affects the quality we live with.

  14. I usually associate drive with getting things done and it is often sold as a positive trait and surrender is often associated with powerlessness. Your post shows me that there is no good and no love in drive. When we are driven it’s worth considering exactly what we are being driven by. I’m certain my soul would not choose to engage in the driven behaviours you mention here.

  15. How powerful these moments of choosing to stop are. Something was said today in a conversation where I felt my body tensing and my mind wanting to topple over into reaction and let loose on the other person as they stomped off out of the room. The choice between the stop moment or to launch in was a fraction of a second – the choice was to feel what the reaction had caused in my body, change my movements and cut the mental energy that was wanting to run amok. The contraction soon changed and my body felt harmonious once more and was able to hold myself and the other with love of who they are. This has been possible from being deeply inspired at presentations by Serge Benhayon and knowing there is always another way.

  16. This is a perfect description of an argument, where views become very narrowed, opposing and there is an energetic locking of horns to see who will be victorious. How inspiring to actually stop and pull back from engaging in all the heated emotions, where nothing can be resolved.

  17. One could say it’s not so much a stop moment but a connect moment. A moment we feel the stillness that resides within, and reminds us we are not of the constant motion we have said yes to for many a day but from a far grander space full of stillness.

  18. Beautifully expressed Luz, it’s like we have been in a pool going around and around the same way for so long it keeps carrying us when we stop running. It’s a slow movement to our true pace that allows space and many moments of stop, but the movement back is so worth the many steps.

  19. Yes, I agree Luz it is great to call ourselves to a stop so we can regather and reconnect and arrest the energy we have been operating in that has taken us away from ourself.

  20. “Is our need to always sort things out first so insidious, no matter what state of being we are in?”- This sentence I can certainly relate to in the way that many times while in an argument or a disagreement with someone I would want to just push through and work to resolve it as I could not stand the thought of having someone not like me or just the feeling of conflict in general. It was unacceptable to me, and I can now feel how much I used to force an issue and go overboard in trying to work it out to regain a sense of harmony in the relationship. However, because I was driven to do this out of my own lack of self-love and appreciation and while in an emotionally charged or reactive state, there was literally no chance for any true resolution or healing and it would many times result in making a mountain out of a mole hill and worsening the situation than if I would have merely let it go and STOPPED as Luz Helena has described here in this blog.

  21. ” we were suddenly immersed in a scenario that I like to call “reason fights reason and reason proves wrong to reason.”
    I love this , I can see it, one head talking to another head with out an ounce of love.

  22. Sometimes to stop can feel very uncomfortable in the body as we are met with the energy of drive we have been living in. To actually stop though allows a space to re-connect and reestablish a rhythm that supports our bodies. I have found Esoteric Yoga beautifully supports this process. http://www.esotericyoga.com/

  23. A ‘stop’ gives us a moment to pause and re-connect with ourselves, and as you say, ” It is the door to surrendering which gives us the immediate possibility to feel gentleness in our bodies again.” These moments are precious and affect the quality of our next movement.

  24. The stop you speak of seems like you are saying – take a moment to reconnect to you. Eventually those moments flow into a greater presence of you in all you do.

  25. These are great questions you ask because if we can’t feel ok and enough when we stop and just feel ourselves what foundation are we actually living from?

  26. It is easy to see how excessive motion builds a momentum that makes it more hard for us to stop and take stock of our situation, to bring ourselves back to connection and awareness and to no longer drive our sensitive body into disregard.

    1. Yes, is this what we are avoiding with the constant drive so many of us are in? To feel all we are aware of, and the deep connection within. It can also be difficult to ‘stop’ when we are fueled with stimulants like coffee and sugar too. If we removed these we would have to admit how exhausted we are.

  27. I agree – a stop is very powerful. It is an offering of space. It allows us to see, feel and collect ourselves. It is a possibility for us to change the energy that we are caught in, and obviously the energy we are running with doesn’t want us to go there and we often find it hard to stop as it keeps feeding us.

  28. It is very empowering that we bring our communication to a stop on the moment we become aware that we landed in a discussion and it becomes about who knows best etc. This is an ill energy to communicate in and is a poison for our body. Every time we stop ourselves on those moments we get offered the space to let go this behavior and that gives space for love. Then we feel what needs to be said instead of bringing our point. Then we have a much bigger change, the other can really hear us.

  29. It is essential that we stop, it is built into our lives, into our breath, is built into everything, and if we choose to override this natural rhythm then life will restore balance unto us.

  30. There is a huge avoidance of the stop because in the stop we would feel everything we are avoiding – in the stop we cannot but feel that the way we are living is a lie.

  31. I love this blog as it raises a lot. Society is in constant motion and so are we as mankind. The more we stop and take a moment to connect to our body during the day, the easier it will get to stop and observe, when something is happening that is challenging for us. I speak out of my own experience. I used to have a strong hook going into right or wrong or involving myself into discussion, which was very draining and hardening my body straight away. Since I do connect to the space around me, meaning, not acting and moving from my brain, my whole daily lifeflow changed.

  32. “many times I have found it almost impossible to stop and just recently I have accepted that one of my most painful characteristics was to be `driven´”. I can totally relate to this, and much of what else you share with us. I too am learning to build in more and more stop moments and lessening the drive. My body does such a little dance when I do that. It likes to stop and it loves less drive.

  33. Love the title ‘Power of STOP’ because we don’t always see it as being powerful but often as a weakness. When we stop and really look at what needs to be seen, quite often it will expose our lack of responsibility and care. To over ride this we seek to be right which may seem like a victory at the time but as you say is short lived and achieves nothing, and we spiral into confusion, isolation, desolation and separation all because we are not willing to stop and be honest at what is really going on.

  34. I love the word ‘ephemeral’ in this blog. How much value do we place on being right rather than being who we are? Being right is a short term ‘victory’ over another – but is it really worth damaging a relationship for? Are our connections with others not more precious than the momentary ‘stroke’ of recognition we get from being right?

    1. That´s a great question you are raising here Richard. The choice is accepting and saying YES to LOVE to ourselves and in effect to another in these moments or saying YES to supremacy and separation. I will remind myself of this, next time a situation will challenge this choice.

  35. Without this stop you are sharing about, we live our lives in complete forgetfulness of who we are. And hence the emptiness that is dominant, and the longing for something outside of us to satiate this tugging emptiness that we feel. In those moments of stop, if we make it about coming back to the rhythm of our own breath, we then start to connect to our inner stillness… and we then realise that those stop moments are the beginning of the activation of our power.

    1. Absolutely- nothing in the outside can actually make you satisfied or happy, when you live your life from this source or “power”. The focus is actually constantly in the outside to fill the gap, between the disconnection within you.

  36. This blog is very confirming for me as I was just pondering on how driven I can be through my day and in my parenting at times, instead of allowing things to flow and unfold I can often be in control and can feel how imposing this can be on my body, I am now feeling inspired to be open to having more stop moments included as part of my daily rhythm – thank you for the awesome reminder.

  37. Queuing is an activity I now use to have a stop moment. Instead of getting frustrated I use the time to focus on my breathing and how I am standing.

  38. It is good to read this as often we can go into right and wrong and in this we cut off from others even if we prove to be right. What you share is true, that the truth is to remain open.

  39. After reading this blog yesterday, I was reminded to create more frequent stop moments in my day. I know how beneficial I find stop moments to be and yet I still forget to stop when I get caught up in rushing to tick things off my list and get them done. The thing I find with stop moments is they create space which then enables me to complete tasks without feeling exhausted at the end of them.

  40. Beautifully said, thank you kellyzarb. And if we choose to hold back that’s also fine for it shows us where we are at and allows us to deepen the love that we have for ourselves and the grace to move forward from there.

  41. It’s these stop moments where we see the power of true connection within the honesty of our movements and it is from here we can either choose to meet and hold another or hold back. To choose honesty and appreciate the pause shared brings our connections to another level and that is the simplicity of feeling our stop moments and surrendering to all that is shared.

  42. Our unwillingness to stop comes from not wanting to feel the momentum we have been living in. Hence to stop requires an honesty to feel whatever is there to be felt, and this is often a bitter pill we choose to avoid.

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