Most of us learned the idiom “Don’t judge a book by its cover” when we were in primary school. The premise is that we cannot assess someone or something’s worth by what it looks like on the outside. I understood this in theory but found it difficult to apply in life the majority of the time: I had this tendency to look out into the world and measure people up, assessing their worth on their outer cover, so to speak.
Last month I had an experience that confirmed to me how much Serge Benhayon’s collections of books have supported me to become more open and real with people.
I was on a plane sitting next to a man aged about 30 years who had tattoos all over his body except for his face and head. In the past I would have immediately judged his outer appearance and interpreted that his inked body made him a threat of some sort. These thoughts would then affect my physiology and trigger a fight or flight response resulting in the hardening of my body as a way to protect myself to counter the perceived threat.
As I sat there I pondered on this situation. “Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?” The answer was almost immediate – I could feel that he was just like me. Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.
So I made a choice to breathe very gently and re-connect to my body. I felt the hardness that I had gone into when I sat down melt away the more I surrendered to the feeling of connection within my body. As I breathed gently I remembered a Universal Medicine presentation that I had attended where Serge Benhayon and the scientist Dianne Trussell spoke about the particles of the body and how we are all made up of the same particles and that all our particles are interconnected.
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
|
As we sat in silence I contemplated on the Oneness between us and in the next moment the plane jostled us with turbulence and I bumped into his arm. I apologised and he smiled and we started chatting. I told him my name and he told me his, we spoke about if we were travelling home or going away. He had been at a tattoo conference so I asked him about his tattoos without judgement but with curiosity. He told me about his first and favourite one. I asked why he had got his first tattoo and he spoke freely about a traumatic experience that had occurred years earlier that prompted him to get his very first one.
As I sat there I felt there was an openness in my heart, a hum of energy between us. I felt like we were being held in this bubble of warmth where no judgement could be. I kept confirming that we were both the same and it felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from.
When he asked if I had any tattoos I replied that I had never felt drawn to get one. There was no judgement in my reply, no arrogance that I was better than him because I didn’t have tattoos but an understanding that we each make choices every day of our lives. I asked if he had ever considered how making the choice to get a tattoo all those years ago had begun a journey where his body was now covered. He laughed and said he worked in the tattoo industry too and that he hadn’t thought about it in this way but could see what I was saying. We continued to chat openly throughout the plane ride.
As we disembarked the plane I said goodbye and thanked him for the conversation. He smiled warmly and said “It was nice to meet you.” I could feel there was a tenderness within him that he kept hidden away and that his tattoos offered him a shield to keep people at a distance. I took a moment to appreciate that by being connected to myself, I was able to be open and the real me with him.
This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.
By Bianca Barban, Registered Nurse, Melbourne, Australia|
(1) Esoteric Teachings and Revelations – A New Study for Mankind by Serge Benhayon
Related Reading:
– Shopping in Singapore: Reflections on Racism and a New (make-up) Foundation
– The Weapon of Arrogance – Discharging Separation
– Separateness or Connection
Words on Serge Benhayon 
So much focus can be given to the outer cover that our core gets put to the back of our attention. Problem is it can’t stay there once we’ve reconnected to it.
The grace and inner-beauty that we all share can be felt at any time when we simply connected to our essences / Soul as you have shared Bianca, and then we are open to discuss openly with anyone as an equal.
Serge Benhayon has shown the world that there is a way to live in harmony with ourselves first and this then naturally expands out to all others. From this way of living it is possible to see that people are very sensitive beings and that we react to our sensitivity in many different ways. We live in a world where we are not encouraged to be sensitive with each other, quite the opposite. When we look beyond the tattoos or someone who is carrying a lot of weight we can see just how sensitive they are and what it is they are using to protect themselves against the slings and arrows of life that we throw at each other constantly because we are in disharmony with ourselves and all others. Is it possible that if we adopted a more harmonious way of living we would not have to live behind the walls of protection we put up to keep everyone out?
It’s lovely to be able to identify and drop beliefs that get in the way of just being with people. We are all the same, and just as you’ve shared we make different choices and come in different packages with how we look, but the sameness is much greater than any perceived differences. When we can drop beliefs and judgements, and receive people beyond appearances from a connection from our heart, relationships can then have a foundation of simplicity. People really appreciate it too, as subtle and as hidden as it often is, judgement is something we all can feel and it’s very unsupportive.
It is the truth of who we are that we are all absolute equal. Even just by logic that we are made of the same particles alone, this is a fact that many, if not all, can agree with. And what I can feel is how we fight with this innateness. And even that fight itself is the cause of much struggle and misery we experience as human being, we continue. Even when I am being shown something/someone I feel inspired by, I know there is something that is not quite fully embracing what is in front of me – in case it reminds me of who and what I truly am, that something blocks out the impact of full reflection, so I stay less, or become elevated in inflated arrogance – either way, no access to the absolute equalness. And in that game, I am equally blocking off the reflection that I am here to offer through my body.
Fumiyo what you have written is so true, that we fight our innateness and life can become a struggle and a misery even when we are shown something/someone that we feel deeply inspired by there is a holding back. There is something within us that fights our own beauty and sensitivity, this energy gets so riled that it seems to redouble the attack and it will resort to anything to stop us from reclaiming ourselves in the fullness of who we truly are. This alone proves to me that there are unseen forces that will stop at nothing to make sure the balance of life is in their favour and that no one leaves their domain without a massive fight, which is one sided because this force has never incarnated and so holds all the cards as it reads us and we have given up reading energy, so in many ways we are at their mercy. But the force shows no mercy as we witness on a daily basis.
This is such a timely read as it has been in my awareness that how it is not my everyday truth that I see everyone as my absolute equal and hold no judgment. I was clocking myself how judgement comes in immediately and I am already hard in my posture and on the inside, but truth is I am already out for judgement to be there. I am learning how deeply we surrender ourselves to connect and be the truth of who we are, is what determines how we experience the world around us and its people.
I sat across from a man recently who was covered in tattoos all you could initially see where his tattoos not the man himself I felt them as a defence he had put up to keep people out. Even though the markings were quite aggressive actually he was very sensitive as a man and it felt to me away he had covered himself in tattoos as a warning similar to how the wasp has warning colours to warn everyone to keep away because he didn’t want people to feel his sensitivity to the world.
Thanks Mary, I can relate to your comment, in the area I live in I see a lot of people with tattoos and I often notice how incredibly sensitive the person is under them. What I have learnt from the support I have received from Universal Medicine is that self love really helps me with my own sensitivity, yet it’s not a common thing we are shown in life to be self loving, or to honour how sensitive we are.
Our spirit loves to feel different from everyone else as it thrives on the idea of individuality, however, this making oneself different and desire to be separate is in truth a facade, for on the inside there is no separation, and the more we fight it then the more it creates a feeling of a rift (even though there is none) and many complications can ensue from this.
Outside appearances are not necessarily a reflection of what is happening on the inside especially when we consider the enormous amount of projection that we are capable of doing (how we project out onto the world that what we want to see rather than that what is truly there). For example someone might appear angry or stern from the outside, but on the inside they are simply observing and taking in what is happening around. Or as Bianca has shared in this blog, the way someone might tatoo themselves, dress themselves or have a beard or not is all about outer appearances, which of course reflect choices a person has made, but in the end the same red blood runs through our veins and the core or essence of the person is the same as everyone else’s, and this we cannot forget.
Bianca – this is a beautiful sharing and one that confirms that you certainly cannot judge a book by its cover!
It’s hard to explain the different ways we change through the years as we deepen our connection to ourselves with the support of the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon. It’s only by reading this blog this morning that I have felt a deeper shift has taken place almost while I slept.
I can feel that I am accessing myself from a deeper level of innermost and it feels divine. And something that is worth sharing with the world as I know this is how we can all be living with out the anxiety and the nervous tension that has us reaching for some sort of simulation or buzz which keeps us disconnected to this feeling of deep serenity that is on offer.
I enjoyed rereading this as it is always a great reminder to see that no matter what people present to the world as being their outer we are all the same on the inside.
“Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.” How beautiful would it be if being like this would be our normal way of being together with others. I am sure our world would look and feel very differently today.
If we were all raised to know that “we are all made up of the same particles and that all our particles are interconnected” I am sure we would grow up not feeling separate to anyone but all part of the same big glorious family of humanity. We may all look different in a myriad of ways, but it is our uniqueness we bring to the world, a uniqueness to be celebrated, not judged.
Gorgeous Ingrid, this is spot on as we all have specific qualities that we bring to inspire others, and yet at the core we are all the same!
And it is in the process of being inspired by another that we are raised up, not to be a carbon copy of them, but to be the grandest version of our authentic self.
It feels Ingrid as though you are describing something like a diamond that is cut with many facets each facet catches the light and we see a different colour but its still the same diamond.
Such a very beautiful analogy Mary, and one that feels so true.
We pick up so much from a person when we meet them and people we meet for the first time we are sometimes more open with because there is nothing from former meetings that either of us are bringing to the equation – or so it seems. Being open and willing to converse allows for so much more possibility for connection and growth and often we can learn a lot from a very short encounter.
I love how you say there was “an understanding that we each make choices every day of our lives” and that there need not be any judgment just more understanding of our own choices and others.
Men have a lot to teach the world about tenderness. And we in the world need to support them to bring that out.
I agree Linda, we are all deeply sensitive beings but we often hide this with a facade that depicts the complete opposite of sensitivity. It is easy to fall for this facade if we are not open to being love and connecting to the being behind the façade. How often does this play out in our society?
Our sight, the ability to see is a gift but how often do we misuse this, to judge something or someone? Along with all our senses, how often do we misuse them too, to harm instead of to serve and heal?
Yes, beautifully said Chan and something to contemplate more often, how do I use my senses, truly for the all to support and have us all grow or by judging and thus reducing the beauty and grandness that is fully there.
Beautifully expressed Chan. Our senses are there as our guides in life, and if we were to allow ourselves to be open and honest with what they are telling and showing us, I am sure our lives would flow much more easily than they often do. So why is it, that we choose to misuse them? Something well worth pondering on.
I love the magic of God, when you asked ‘what am I here to learn’ and a little later the plane jolted and offered you both an opportunity to come together.
There was an article in the press recently about a man who is heavily tattooed and the article implied that because of this the local community had asked the authorities to take away his daughter and put her into care. I watched an interview with this man and it was absolutely clear to me that he was incredibly sensitive that he loved his daughter and she loved him and to take his child away from him just because he was covered in tattoos and the locals didn’t want the child to grow up believing that it’s okay to tattoo her body seemed ludicrous to me. The father gave his reasons for his tattoos that he was unable to deal with his daughters illness and sought relief from the stress and tension of what his family was going through to the point where it had become an addiction so he was being very honest. I sincerely hope that the family was allowed to stay together and that his local community where able to see past the tattoos to the very sensitive sweet man beneath them.
I agree Mary it is sad that we so easily judge a book by its cover and don’t look inside to see the worthiness of each page. the man was honest upfront, and opened up to why he got tattoos, as a way of coping with his daughter’s illness and yet he is being judged purely on his outer appearance. I sincerely hope that the authorities saw sense and were willing to look past his tattoos.
We cannot assess the worth of anyone if we are not deeply connected to ourselves and allowed to be moved by such impress.
I love how our daily life can reveal so much to us when we are open to learning.
Imagine how much love and richness we close ourselves and everyone else off to with our protection and preconceived ideas. If we need protection from anything it is from our own defences!
Each interaction in anyone day is a point of evolution, if we’re open to see the opportunity.
To reject anyone, believing them to be less or more, is to reject an aspect of ourselves.
Reading this reminds me how there is an opportunity to learn and be more love in every situation in life that we meet if we are willing and open to it…
We are offered many opportunities to connect with strangers and when we drop any judgment by coming from our essence we realise that we are all the same maybe on different journeys and different choices but there is something greater that connects us all.
Thank you Bianca for sharing your experience, it is a lovely reminder of the commonality of us all, our tenderness and is a beautiful lived example of the quote from Serge Benhayon, “BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
Yes all together we make one – a beautiful quote and imagine if we all together lived that. I was just considering how strange that when we are all one we can at times be so hurtful to another equal one, but then considering how people can be so self-abusive you can see how they can abuse others. One day that true living connection of love and oneness will be there again for all but it seems it is still quite a while away for many!
A beautiful example of how, underneath our skin, we are actually all the same. We are beings who feel the same feelings as another; we feel hurt, we feel sad, we feel joyful and we have also grown all manner of ‘shells’ to hide away in to keep us safe from what may come our way. But if we are able to confirm and claim who we truly are and that we are part of one big family, humanity, then there is no need for any shell of protection, as opening ourselves up to each other is the most natural and wonderful thing to do.
Thank you Bianca for so beautifully sharing how it is the oneness which we all belong to that we are first, and that this quality is always present and felt as such when we open our hearts to its truth within ourselves as we then can naturally feel it is equally so with all others.
“Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.” I love the magic of God that offered a jolt from the plane to open the conversation.
I really love this. How we can see our bodies as isolated collections of the identical particles but just in different configuration and movement makes absolute sense that we are One that includes every single one of us.
Everyone we meet gives us a reflection of what there is to learn about this life.
Beautiful Bianca, what you offered this gentleman was also the opportunity to feel we are all the same and all connected.
The beauty of us evolving is that it creates space between you and I.
How often do we judge someone based on his outer appearance and miss the opportunity to truly connect and feel the oneness we are in together?
We miss out on so much Annelies. Even if someone is outrightly protective on the outside and being hard or trying to keep people out, if we just be ourselves I’ve found 9 times out of 10 they melt and can’t help but show you who they are.
This is such a beautiful blog Bianca, showing us how we can meet each other with zero judgement and a warm connection. Also, very awesome to appreciate that there is something for us to learn from meeting different people throughout our day.
Yes true Chan – without holding pictures we then are open to receive and read the truth and from there respond with the love that we all deserve to be met with. Be it a confirmation or a loving pull-up, love always offers us the opportunity to deepen our connection to truth in order to live the greater love that we all equally are.
Beautiful Bianca, I really enjoyed reading your experience with this lovely man. It is not so common seeing people who didn’t met before sharing with each other so openly, with such an ease and respect. Your sharing invites me to let go this unnecesary protection that I’ve put sometimes in myself by being with other people when their behaviours or physical appearance didn’t fit in my ideas about how others should or shouldn’t be. True is when we surrender to the body we know how innately precious we all are, regardless of what we do or the choices we make in life. This surrender is gold to accept and embrace ourselves and others in the same way.
Our body works amazingly as a whole and yet it is so common for us diminish it or take it for granted. Sadly it is seen as normal using it for our interests and pleasures and with that we ignore the precious vehicle that we carry with us for our whole life. Our body certainly is an incredible example of oneness, a very precise and precious design that unifies us as human beings.
By judging someone what is the potential that is lost?
A huge one Suse. I’ve lost precious moments of sharing with amazing people by putting in me a wall of protection because a judgment. Today I know by myself that any judgment is not true as within us lies an inmensity of wisdom, joy and pure love to be shared. It’s a fact that we are here interconnected and today I love meeting others for the very first time and feeling them inside like a part of my family. It is something new that I’m enjoying very much.
To be open to people regardless of what they look like is so huge. We invest heavily in pictures and what the physical things in life look like – but really underneath we are all from the same source.
Yes, I agree HM, being open to people is so important, we miss out on so much when we close ourselves off to people based on their looks. This is not loving or evolving, it keeps us in separation and far, far away from Oneness.
I like how you said to yourself – “what is here for me to learn” and all that opened up from that genuine enquiry.
Asking ‘what am I here to learn’ takes away the arrogance and judgement and asks us to feel the person for who they truly are.
So true Alison, it does take away the arrogance and judgement. I was with a big group of people yesterday and I noticed as people came into the room how this was playing out. I was noticing if I was open and loving towards them even if I didn’t get up to meet them personally or was I feeling arrogant and judgement?
We are in a bubble of oneness and therefore everything we do, say and think has an effect in the bubble that can be felt by others in the bubble. Even writing that, knowing I know it, reminds me of the deep level of responsibility we each have for what we bring to the bubble. I would not want others to have to clear up my mess just because I want to be irresponsible.
I love that you asked yourself – ‘what am I here to learn’ – this is just gorgeous and reflects how we always have an opportunity to be open and not make it about us or judgment at any moment.
No, because we all have something to learn out of every situation. There are subtleties that we live with and take as our normal that, once exposed, we often wonder how and why we didn’t spot them before. That simple question offers an opportunity to consider our behaviour afresh.
Nothing says ‘ I love you’ more than seeing a person for who they are beneath their exterior and into their core, their being and giving them the grace to express from there and not be held or judged by any condition or label.
I love the saying never judge a book by its cover because it is essentially true.
The way we look, the way we dress, our behaviours… all of it. What is it designed to do? Are we putting up a front to protect us from what has hurt us in the past, a shop window that only those that we invite in, or perhaps those with a similar taste (protection mechanism) will even consider entering? But behind these facades there is the same gorgeous essence…
When we let go our prejudices and just allow ourselves to be with our bodies in meeting another, there’s a space and you have interactions as described here … we all make different choices but underneath it all, we’re all the same, from the same oneness.
I met with someone today to talk about ‘diversity,’ knowing its time to question the language of diversity and invite conversations on oneness.
When particles meet particles and recognise each other as from the same quality it transcends any visual or belief based differences we may think we have.
It all begins within with a choice to judge another or remain open and connect.
We are inescapably unified by love, the innate quality of our being, and as you have shared the more we live in connection to this quality for ourselves first the more we are open to see and feel how this innate quality is equal in us all, whether it is lived or not.
I love the logic of considering us all part of the same whole, it makes so much sense that the moment I consider us all to be individuals or different there is immediate tension.
Interest is an engagement with life. With interest and curiosity we start committing our awareness back to places and people we have shut out with judgement. As the truth is we can nominate the behavior or energy that is not true but it’s not about alienating people.
So simple to connect to people when we come with an open heart.
Yes, very true Simon – it then actually feels quite natural and fulfilling.
A deeply beautiful sharing Bianca, thank you, reminding me of the deep love and tenderness that resides within each person, no matter what the outward covering may be. ‘This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.’
At an airport recently I met a woman who shared that she arranged Stag and Hen party weekends. She said from experience she was always cautious about speaking of this as so many people went into major reaction. We had an interesting conversation about her business and she said it was easy to speak of it as she felt no judgement from me.
Meeting people with an equal-ness, opens the way to true connection and communication without any judgement being present.
Learning to connect with people’s essence first rather than reacting from a pre-judgment is a door to true equality.
And isn’t judgement a conversation killer. Not only is there the arrogance of our own that means we are not trying to connect in the first place.. but the other person can feel it a mile off and it feels awful.
And true e-quality is the quality of energy we bring to another. Do we offer love and acceptance or judgment and reaction?
I am beginning to understand just how much we distract ourselves from our true purpose which is to evolve and leave this plane of life as we should not be here in the first place. I was with a group of people that were invited to a party on a film set which was a replica of a street in NY. It was all very real but at the same time completely false, and for me it summed up our lives, they seem so very real to us and yet it is a false way of being because we are not evolving.
I love how the turning point was when you asked “what am I here to learn?” Six words that can completely transform your day from one of resistance and struggle to opening up a new way forward.
When I remember to remind myself that every moment is a moment to learn, life feels, and is, more expansive and I keep surprising myself with what I learn.
I agree, when I ask “what can I learn” puts a totally different perspective on life, it’s no longer about a “good” or a “bad” day but a process of exploration and unfolding.
“It was nice to meet you.” There is a lot in those words when they are genuinely meant, because when we are truly met our whole world expands.
I am reminded of one of my very first Liviness 1 workshops – back then it was called heart chakra 1 – where we were to stand opposite another person. One of us was asked to remember a situation where they were angry while the other was asked to connect to their own essence first and then to the essence of the other. I was the first person and found it life changing to experience that it was impossible for me to stay angry or even stick to the story that made me angry. So basically I could not stay in my reaction. How powerful is connection when we are willing to meet the other for who they are instead of reacting to the reaction they may be in!
Wow, that sounds like something we should all be taught in school. We would then have a very clear understanding of the power of observing and not absorbing other people’s dramas.
The moment there is a connection to our oneness, the silliness of judgment and comparison is revealed, as we are all the same, and we all have the same reasons for not living it – being hurt – it is only the way in which we protect ourselves that differs. But one way is no better or worse then another, it is all coming from the same source of energy.
I wonder Bianca if by having the tattoos people can actual hide behind them as when you see someone with tattoos it is the first thing you see, it’s like a distraction away from the person.
What a beautiful example of every day life and its reflection(s) showing us that we are all One and the same, from the same source made = love. No matter how hard we try to not be that.
It’s quite common for people to get tattoos after having experienced some deep emotional hurt, such as a death or trauma. It must be a way to cope with whatever has gone on or a way to bury the pain.
This is a huge reminder for everyone
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
[Esoteric Teachings and Revelations pg. 410 (1)]
It is far too easy to forget that together we make up the whole as we have made our lives all about security and self identification and what we can get out of life on a personal level. Rather than what we can do together. Is it possible that thousands of years ago people were living in brotherhood and this enabled them to build the Pyramids? And is it possible that with all the modern technology we have at our disposal today we cannot build the Pyramids to the exactness of all those years ago because we live in separation to each other and made life all about self.
There is no question that we have lost something along the way, and far from being a mystery, we just have to look at the state of the world to see some obvious pointers of where we could begin putting it back together.
When ever we take the opportunity to connect and honestly interact, there is one more bridge built over the Gulf of separation that dictates so often the errant path of humanity.
Connecting to the essence of people is so vital, because we may construct an outer mask to fit in or cope, it might be toughness, sadness, success, withdrawal, wearing expensive brand names or wearing rags. This is not who we actually are, as we are all this same equal beautiful essence within, each with its unique expression.
Opening up and expressing openly to another, so we then get a chance to have an open discussion, which is so simple and everyone is open too. Then because everyone has a different reflection that is unique, we get to expand our awareness, and when we are openly connected to our essence as you have shared Bianca, magic happens.
It’s interesting to me that the gentleman you met Bianca had his first tattoo after a traumatic experience. In one way it could be seen as a way to try to establish some control after having this experience however the tattoo is a permanent reminder of that trauma and never lets the person let go of it. It keeps the trauma alive in the body, hence the need for more tattoos to try to feel in control. A vicious cycle that results in a tender, hurt man covered in tattoos, all of which are a constant reminder of the trauma he experienced and a guarantee that he will not take responsibility for life, let it go and heal.
I heard of a woman who tattoos breast surgery scars for people so they can “see something beautiful in the place of something that was traumatising for them”. This was a real good opportunity for me to learn what people perceive they need to deal with a traumatic situation – it may not be what I would do, it may even have other consequences later in life, but for that moment, they feel that this will ease their pain.
I adore the connections we can all make with each other in spontaneous moments. Planes and other modes of community transport are perfect places for those meetings and give us an opportunity to have a conversation with people we might not come into contact with in our daily life. By embracing every conversation, we embrace how we are all the same underneath the outside differences.
Brotherhood is something that we all crave, that connection that reflects back to us that we are not separate, and indeed when truly felt it reflects back to us that the space that is in between us all is actually filled with love.
Oneness is very precious to me but like the writer, the reality can be different at times, as what I see is constantly telling me we are separate. What has really supported this to change has been Esoteric Yoga, as I get to feel myself not as a separate entity but part of everything. I have also found through the Ageless Wisdom teachings and Sacred Esoteric Healing that I am much more likely to feel a person’s essence before I see the exterior.
Everything that happens is a learning opportunity. When we let ourselves be open to greater awareness so much can be shown to us and much healing can take place. Thank you for this lovely example.
Our outer does reflect the choices we make and have made. It is very beautiful when we can be totally open to see others’ choices and show ours at the same time and there’s no judgment or tension whatsoever.
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
[Esoteric Teachings and Revelations pg. 410 (1)] What a beautiful quote and we can try to not feel we are one but it will never last when we drop our shields of protection ( and we all have chosen another form).
We can change, dress or hold our body in a way that says backoff, don’t come near me or don’t hurt me, and if we only listen to that message then we miss out on really seeing the person before us. When we connect to our essence we can’t help but feel others.
Great point Aimee, this highlights to me how we can easily be fooled if we rely solely on our sight but if we use our ability to connect and read energy, then we are less likely to miss out on a true connection and seeing people in their essence.
Absolutely Chanly, like when we refer to someone who has a big tough looking exterior as a teddy bear… as we know that the exterior is just a front as the sweetness from within can not but sweep out and touch us in some way.
What a gorgeous sharing of oneness and one superb quote – that we all make up a part of each other. The world is so much smaller than separation allows us to believe. And what I also love about this sharing is how you asked ‘what is here for me to learn’ – That is so loving and observant.
I love how we are continually being offered these golden moments in time, moments when we can make the choice to connect to another and in the process learn so much about ourselves. But if we make the choice to judge the ‘book’ in front of us by its cover we will never get to read the wisdom that lays within.
Yes, I agree Ingrid. We miss out on so much when we choose to be judgemental instead of being open, appreciative, loving and willing to learn. What we miss out on is true connection, because being judgemental cuts off any form of connection and opportunities to deepen our relationship.
We have created so many shields to get through life that it is sometimes hard to see the real person behind them. But there is a way and that way you describe beautifully. When we connect back to our heart and live from it we can see with ease through all these layers and can always feel and see the truth and beauty of another.
Absolutely gorgeous, to feel that deep inner oneness we can feel feel with everyone when connected to Soul.
It’s a beautiful moment to appreciate when we start to see people for soul first, when we start to open up to more love and drop our guard of protection.
There isn’t anyone who when we connect to them is not someone we would not want to know. This is at least my experience.
Heather I was just thinking the same thing myself. We can hold back from connecting with others for whatever reasons we choose to protect ourselves from our hurts, but whenever I let down my guard and connect with those around me, they are all amazing, beautiful people.
‘This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.’ So true Bianca, when we drop any judgment we may hold towards another it allows the space for a beautiful connection.
I have noticed many of the tough outer images can be a protection for the sensitive being within. It is lovely to read how your openness and acceptance allowed for a true connection between you.
Being open with everyone I meet is a work in progress, but I still catch myself judging others. My self too.
We are all work in progress Debra and the more open we are of this fact with each other the more empowered we all feel.
As I read this it supported me to reflect on how much I hold back in relationships, I generally read the other person and wait for them to open up before I will go there. In reading this it has brought more awareness to how I don’t want to do this, how I just want to embrace others more without first assessing whether it is ‘safe’ or if I will be hurt.
There is a real joy to be had in connecting with people without judgement and preconceptions. The beauty of the Oneness is in us all.
If we were able to approach every single person that we met with an open heart we may be surprised at what comes next. We all have different degrees of protection built from the hurts that we carry and often we project these hurts on to another, expecting that we will be hurt again. If we allowed ourselves to see beneath these layers of protection to the beautiful essence of the person then we would finally be able to see that in our essence we are all the same.
When we don’t connect to the sameness within another basically anything goes such as judgment, abuse, struggle, dismissiveness etc. Only true connection allows us to feel we are all the same in essence and totally equal to one another and that any ‘difference’ is on the outside not truly from within.
” never judge a book by its cover ” Its funny reading this in that it suggests its ok to judge.
Even on the telephone with a call centre when you have a problem with some product or service in life, there is an opportunity to be at one with the person. To treat them as if they were in person standing beside you rather than miles away on a phone. Oneness cuts through distance and offers harmony between two people.
When we meet another with an open heart, we know there is an absolute oneness within us all void of judgement or comparison just the surrendering to that which is divine.
Oneness is a movement that we initiate by virtue of connecting with ourselves.
I love the succinct way you have put this Eduardo. The key is about first connecting to ourselves.
That’s a great point Linda. The funny (not) thing is that people often like or even chose to give their breath taken away. We have phrases such as breathtaking to represent something lovely but there is nothing lovely at all about losing connection to our breath quite the opposite. Same happens when we get all engaged and excited watching TV or playing a computer game – all these things change our breath and in that giving away of power we get drained and affected and then wonder why we are exhausted and crave sugar!
If we don’t discern energetically we can very easily be fooled. Relying on our eyes is a great way to be fooled. It works both ways we often judge tough looking people as being aggressive whereas they are super sensitive and tender and we can judge nice and good people as being loving whereas they can be quite the opposite. Things are very often not what they may superficially appear to be.
I love this blog, as it shows that if we get judgment out of the way, there is always something to learn from another.
This is a beautiful blog that reveals how simple it is to be with another in harmony rather than discord..
“What is here for me to learn?” Beautiful and in being open to the oneness with this man you offered him the opportunity to reflect on his choices.
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
[Esoteric Teachings and Revelations pg. 410 (1)] . It is so wonderful Bianca that you had the opportunity and took the opportunity to live the truth of the statement of ” BROTHERHOOD ” what a blessing for us all thank you.
What I am discovering more and more as we appreciate who we are in essence we then begin to see how much we learn and appreciate from others and it then confirms that each and every person confirms something held within us too, showing the great learning on offer in reflection.
It’s interesting that many people will choose to get ‘inked’ after or during a traumatic experience – but why would you want that embedded into your body as a mark to remind you of trauma? It’s like cementing the energy further into the body.
Thank you Bianca, it is super healing when we can see another as a son of God, for in truth we are and we can feel that there are no differences between us when we choose to connect from the heart.
We are all naturally connected, and it was beautiful to feel how open you were to start a conversation with no judgment on another’s choices, accepting another’s choices allows us the space to truly interact with others.
I love it when I can feel through what someone is presenting on the outside to their exquisite essence which is absolutely equal to mine and everyone elses. In those moments I feel the interconnectedness of all of us and how we are a small but equal part to all the other parts within the vastness of the universe, the body of God, we all live within.
“Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us”, gosh I love this Bianca. Imagine a world where people look to what connected them and not what divided them, it would be a very different place for sure.
Such a beautiful story and illustration of oneness in action… thank you Bianca.
I think it’s great how you clocked the judgement that had come up and let it go not just in your mind but from your whole body as well, and by re-establishing that true connection with you then it was easy to be truly open with another.
When we start to understand what brotherhood is all about, we can see that nothing happens just as a coincidence but all our interactions are presented as an opportunity for us to be more loving and understanding with one another as it is only then that we know we are all the same and belong to the same oneness of the all.
It’s interesting that so many people choose dark images for their tattoos – skulls, daggers, sexist depictions of women and worse – and it’s interesting to ponder why this might be so. Not that a so-called ‘pretty’ tattoo is necessarily any ‘better’, but there is definitely a whole genre of tattoo imagery that is disturbing. In a way, it’s a bit like plastering your home with evil posters and wallpaper – it’s certainly expressing something that’s guaranteed to keep others away, and the poster-paperer’s natural light hidden.
There is nothing like a random encounter in a confined space to enable us to choose whether to truly connect with the ‘other brother’ beside us or not. So lovely Bianca that you did, and then shared your experience with us all here – thank you.
I certainly have judged those who have chosen to have a tattoo. Very often it has been the tattoo/image that I have judged and not necessarily a tattoo. I would react to the energy finding it offensive yet on the inside i knew it was not who they were. Judging creates separation; it is a destructive and forceful energy that if not called out deepens the segregation amongst us.
When we only assess another on the outer cover of what we see we totally miss all the pages of wisdom on the inside.
I love that we all have different covers and live different pages and chapters of our lives but in essence we all come to the same ending’s just it different stages and with different scenario’s. Life is so universally beautiful and yet we are all similar from within.
What a beautiful sharing, it is a great example that experiencing oneness can be very simple, connecting and very beautiful.
That’s simply beautiful. I love how so many of us employ devices to keep people at arms length but underneath it all we just want someone to talk to us and treat us like we are their equal and to meet us for who we are. We’re a stubborn species!
It is so important to energetically read and discern every situation regardless of what our five senses are telling us we perceive.
Imagine for a moment how it would feel to walk into an airport waiting lounge and everyone in there was choosing to simply be in their bodies, present and simply themselves. The conversations would be many, heartfelt, genuine and caring. Could all of our fears and protections be holding us back from moments of such joy?
These are the moments that life is about – when we can drop all our guards and show someone both who we are and who they are.
When we connect to the Oneness that is, without fail vibrating in every particle of the Universe then we are given everything that we need, every meeting, every relationship and every message is there loud and clear to confirm where we come from and that we are all indeed equal. That this Oneness has a quality that is beyond our imaginations and as powerful as God who created us.
I know there have been so many times in my life when I have realised that a judgement I have made on someone was not only unfair on my part, but also completely incorrect. Through experience I have become much wiser these days in spotting when those judgments come in and not playing ball with them. The result of this has been much more healthy relationships and deeper levels of connection with everyone I meet, which feels great for connection and true intimacy is what we all want in life.
Lovely story about human life and how deep down we are all one humanity and that we all respond to being connected to and met as an equal.
Yeah – true. You get such an amazing sense that we are all in this together from this blog.
I know it’s not the way we look but what’s inside that counts but I also know how hard it can be to not let what I visually see dictate the way I receive what I am seeing if my body is shut down and not being a part of me to experience that encounter and it is so easy to go into a learned pattern of judgment based on our past experience as well. And we miss out on connecting with others in essence as you have shared here so beautifully.
Beautiful to read of your sharing oneness on your journey, Bianca. We can meet people on public transport we would never come across in our day-to-day living. “This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.”
The returning to the stillness and ease of our own breath connects us back to the one i.e ourselves and from here we are given the opportunity to hold all others with this same connection. The true beauty of one connection to self holds all others just from the stillness and holding of ourselves. This feels so exquisite and shows that no matter what our outer layer looks like our inner essence is one and the same.
You call the tattoos the “outer cover’ and yes, they are nothing but that – just as religion, culture, skin colour and all the other differences we care to mention and champion are. None of it touches our core and the true source of our beingness.
Oneness is a whole being experience. It registers the deep connection we all have. It also confirms that we cannot choose the territory of oneness, since it does not have limits and nothing true escapes it. It is a movement of deep re-connection.
Knowing we all share particles and are part of the one debases so many of the issues we have with each other. It’s kind of crazy really if we are all one to have an issue with another person, as the reality is we are having and creating an issue with ourselves and everyone else.
Yes it is simple really; our issues are our own creation. A great truth to remember.
This is so true Fiona. Someone said to me today that they are not a people person…. and many of us then back off and go away. More to the point it is about us not enjoying or being open with ourselves first.
I love how in holding our own connection to who we are we are holding all others in this movement too. Thank you Bianca.
A truly beautiful article to read and one that reminds us all of the beauty of communication in connection… free of anything that can taint the ability to see and feel we are all the same underneath whatever protective layers and choices we have chosen to cover ourselves with.
You confirm that we are all One with each other Bianca. All one family, equal Sons of God.
I love how confirming who we are by re-connecting to our breath within our bodies confirms one and all. It shows how equally interconnected we truly are and that there is always something for us to learn in any given moment we so choose. Thank you Bianca.
Thank you Bianca – that is truly felt within, Oneness is in all the same, and only disconnection from this place can cause thoughts and emotions of not belonging to that Oneness, but nothing more.. Even if we might at times feel not the same as another – we carry in depth the same particles (cells) as them, if we want it or not. And so, we are inescapable from this Oneness.
A beautiful example that the outer can not truly hide the inner, we are always able to see the true person behind all the layers of protection.
Lets face it most of us are wearing the world and our reactions to it on our face and on our bodies, and we can change so much and when its from the inside out it shines out our eyes.
I love how well you describe the physiological impact on our bodies when we feel threatened in some way. Really helps to visualise our bodies contracting/tensing up. I’m becoming quite sensitive to when I do this, and more recently noticing it is happening a lot as I’m getting used to a new area and the roads are very long and windy with high speed limits. Turning corners I feel my whole body harden/bracing myself….and then it stays like that when it’s over before I realise what’s happened – and then let go.
Straight to the soul Bianca, this is a beautiful blog demonstrating that if we move with our particles and not our minds we know that we are all made of the same.
This is so gorgeous. To be so open with another allows them to feel safe so they can drop down their guard. Tattoos can so often act like a warning sign “Danger – Keep Away” but in this case, by not reacting to them in this way and just being with the man himself, in his tenderness and equalness, it’s clear he melted and was able to let you in too. Pretty life-changing I’d say.
To me, tattoos feel like a common ground – something that people can have in common, talk about, compare etc. They make people feel like they belong to something and are not alone in their pain and or suffering. But, if we were more connected to and felt the oneness we are all from and part of, would we need an external common ground to feel like we belong? No, because we all belong to each other and the universe.
It is very beautiful and valuable to look beyond the outer shields people put up and see that underneath we are all very beautiful people.
I have found myself being judgemental concerning Tattoos and not understanding why anyone would spoil their bodies with images, some not so pleasant. I have also had to appreciate that many truly lovely human beings that I know have the odd one or more. I realized that I too was sitting in judgement and recognising that the choice is theirs what they do!
Without the cover we are all the same so to judge another by their cover is essentially judging yourself. And isn’t that the nub of it? While we judge ourselves we will continue to be blind to the equality of us all and continue to judge others as harshly as we judge ourselves. So step one is to start to say no to the internal judge. It has no place in equality.
We often observe others and judge them, rather than observe ourselves and judgements we hold about others. Remaining open and connecting with everyone confirms brotherhood.
I’ve often heard that expression too Bianca ‘never judge a book by it’s cover’ and yet we frequently do, but as you show here, if we stay connected to ourselves and allow ourselves to look beyond the cover we discover that underneath we are all the same. We might vary on the outside and in the choices we’ve made but underneath we are all lovely and really life is about living in a way that allows all of us to express in this way with each other. And it starts with us, staying and feeling in our bodies and being as open as we can be, then we allow the space to the joy and miracle of truly meeting another.
There are so many ways to cover ourselves up and hide and it is so important to understand that and allow ourselves to feel and see what is underneath otherwise we will be with each other from surface to surface but never really connecting with the true self deep within.
I love this exchange. I often need to have a conversation with myself when I feel I have gone in to judgement from a persons appearance as I know beneath that lies a warm and open person who has simply made a different choice to me, but is still just the same as me, I also love when the stereotype gets debunked.
Gorgeous to read Bianca, thank you for sharing, We know what lies within the inner heart of every man woman and child, it is the outer covering that often we allow to block this from our view.
In order to experience true brotherhood in life, we must be able to build true connections with one another first that reflects the oneness that we are from.
Imagine forgetting your name, who you are and where you live. I’ve read some stories about people where this happens in life. They wander about lost, till they get a clue, often with damaging results. But is this so different to us, when we talk, speak and move about without the understanding that we are all one? On the surface of life we have created an idea that we are all split up, but my experience and body have consistently reminded me that this is not true. Thank you Bianca, for reminding us all to come back to the ‘we’ and no longer buy into the the ‘I’.
Yes Oneness Bianca, showing us that Oneness is no way idealistic, belief-wise, or structural.. It is an innate source of brotherhood and love we come from. I am holding this deep sense within my own body, and I know everyone does too, or at least has access to it, once he or she chooses it so again.
Serge Benhayon is truly inspirational! I have never seen him cast judgement on anyone, for when on the receiving end of judgement it feels quite capping, and he knows that all are equal and when we feel there is no judgement there is space to unfold in our own time.
I truly enjoyed re-reading this today, it felt like a reminder that when I am tired and on my way home later at night than usual, I can isolate myself and feel like I need to protect myself, when in fact all that does is feed the separation energy and most likely make me even more tired and fear-full, which is such a disservice to all the people I meet on my way home.
In every moment and every experience, we have there is the opportunity to learn.
Letting go of judgement and just allowing ourselves to meet another and connect to their essence brings out the beauty of who they truly are confirming we are all sons of God deep down within our hearts.
If I think like ‘Have a man covered with tattoos sitting next to me for the entire length of a flight, have a conversation, be open, and do not hold any judgment’ – it sounds like an impossible task, but here it was actually made possible by a very simple choice to just connect with yourself. And I particularly love that you asked yourself why you are having this experience – not from a point of being a victim of a situation, but as a student of life, taking responsibility.
“What is here for me to learn?” This is a question that I regularly ask myself, especially if I am in a situation that I feel I am about to react to, and probably in the process make it worse. When I take the time to stop and ask this question it offers me the opportunity to truly read the situation, not just what the “cover of the book” is showing me but what is being held inside. As a result I have come to learn and see so much more than what I believed I was being presented with in the first moment.
It is enlightening and humbling to realise that in essence we are all love, constellated from the same equal quality of light that is ever-present within every one of us. For then we can see that all that is present in our world today including the way we choose to live, the state of our bodies, our behaviours is a direct result of a quality of energy that is of this love, or in separation to this love. Yet regardless of our choices, we remain equal in essence and through our connection to our love within, we can never truly judge or compare ourselves to another.
The magic connection of the heart and when we connect to it in full amazing openness, experiences and learning’s occur. Thank you Bianca.
Does the idiom come for the word idiot? Could be possible because most idioms do make much sense.
Lovely to re-visit this blog again, and could feel that our lives are enriched by these interactions with others when a connection has been made – in these moments you can feel that there is no such thing as a stranger.
There is nothing more delightful than someone being themselves with you, in that spacious, open and playful kind of way, much like how young children are. Very beautiful to see.
“I could feel there was a tenderness within him that he kept hidden away and that his tattoos offered him a shield to keep people at a distance. I took a moment to appreciate that by being connected to myself, I was able to be open and the real me with him.” Beautiful Bianca. No judgement – just understanding coming from connection – oneness.
That’s pretty cool. We don’t realise, or perhaps it is that we don’t quite appreciate, just how crippling not being able to speak up is and how much physical harm it can do.
That is a wonderful blog, and such a simple lesson for us all. I would add, don’t judge a person based on their outside behaviour either – if we connect to who a person is and take a moment to understand why they are behaving the way they are it can lead to magic happening.
Beautiful Lucy for we have no idea of the steps a person has walked to get to where they are today to create the person that stands before us.
Absolutely! We may judge and say there is no excuse, but there is always a reason and if we make space to consider the reasons we stop judging the person and rather see it as a behaviour needed to deal with a situation or series of situations they don’t yet feel equipped to manage.
Oneness does feel like being held in a ‘warm bubble’. There is absolute ease between people when there is a sense of oneness, as there are no barriers and no differences. The magical thing is that not everyone needs to be consciously aware of the oneness. As in this case, it only takes one person to choose oneness and the other person responds, as it is our natural state of being. We know our oneness inside out and that in truth there is no separation.
Just asking yourself why you are in a certain situation and what there is to learn, feels amazing in the body, as it creates an openness and willingness to explore the deeper aspect of life. This openness then allows magic to occur, rather than living life in a 2 dimensional way.
I have always enjoyed travelling because of the opportunities to meet people that I would never normally interact with and the more I choose to remain open, the more I am able to experience the oneness that exists between us all.
Thank you for the honesty of your sharing Bianca and it has supported me to accept that there are still many situations in my life where I initially go into judgement even if I am more quickly able to let go of it now and being faced with a heavily tattooed individual is definitely an example of where I tend to harden my body against the perceived threat. Awesome that you clocked your judgement and in making a conscious decision to stay open were given the opportunity to get past the outer shell and feel the intermingling of your particles.
It is interesting how much we use what we choose to use to avoid opening up with someone else. In that, anything goes. This is the default option. Renouncing it has to be an explicit one though.
I have had similar experiences through my life, I once picked up a hitchhiker on an impulse and when he opened the door I thought I had made a huge mistake, he was covered in tattoos and looked somewhat like I would imagine an axe murderer to look like. Anyway he turned out to be a lovely fella and I bumped into him a couple of times after that. If we could only drop these barriers that we put up by judging books by their covers and get on with the fact that we are one and we are here to learn to be just that.
Every moment is an opportunity for us to be more of who we are, more loving, more understanding, more expressive and encompassing of everything, it just takes a willingness to let go of images about others and life and embrace the evolution at offer for us all.
Its just brilliant when we approach the world from a questioning, an openness for how we can learn and what the next step is here to teach us. So vastly different than from the overwhelm, the exhaustion or the pulling away from people and situations when they are precisely what we need to learn next.
When a joy it is to chat and meet people as equals. Life has become so simple ever since I eliminated judgement of others. Being in a place that has allowed me to reconnect to my inner essence or child like joy has come about because I have listened to and studied the presentations by Serge Benhayon.
We are constantly being offered moments of evolution; some are plain to see and others not so obvious but always it is a choice as to whether we see them or not.
It is such a relief to let down the guards and connect to one another from that essence within. The warmth that then is shared is lighting up our hearts and do remind us that we are one, regardless of our skin colour, race, nationality, language, political party, level of education, position in society, rich or poor. All the outer in fact does not matter and is only there because we once have chosen to separate from one other in the experiment to creating our own creation separated from the creation of God we are part of.
I heard of a scheme airlines or travel companies were thinking of trialling whereby you can list your likes and be placed next to someone of similar interests so you have interesting conversation and company on long haul flights. Maybe however we are actually able to talk to anyone and it is really about how open we are to having the connection and the conversation with what we see as a total stranger, but a stranger who shares a commonality we rarely accept is there.
No tattoo or piercing or way of clothing or anything can change the fact that inside we are all the same and that we love connecting to each other.
Beautiful Bianca, this being shared and said it is very visible that openness is the key to every lack of connection – so we can heal. When we drop down our guards and truly open ourselves up let go of anything that is in the way of our connection with Oneness.
So with that presented we can in a way assume that we are all made up from the same particles and therefore we are all part of one big body. That could explain why we like to be close to people and why we like to be touched gently by someone. The particles says yeah hello, I know you, but the person might get a little shy and not follow the impulse to touch someone or to make contact, physically or not. There’s a lot revealed in your blog, I like it.
I do agree Matts, we do like to be together whenever we admit it or not, it is at least something I love.
Can’t help but being reminded of being in rush hour in the Stockholm subway. No room to not be close to people there and I love it.
When we connect to our essence (who we are), judgement and comparison dissipates and we are left feeling open, more loving and more compassionate which allows us to truly connect with others.
Realising that we are made up from the same stuff (particles) is quite humbling. How can there be any racism or divisiveness then? Crazy isn’t it. We only look skin deep and quite often judge people by the surface level. I feel we do this because we fear being naked and raw with others, showing them all of who we are. Great though if we do and show people that it’s actually safer to be open than guarded.
That beautiful quote from Serge Benhayon sums up for me what brotherhood truly is, and in a world where we are living anything but this, it needs to be written on huge billboards in every public place possible so that one day humanity may begin to choose to live in this most natural and harmonious way.
it felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from. Thank-you Bianca, particles are becoming a focus in my life at the moment so I needed to read this line.
Skin is just an outer layer and we are all in fact the same underneath, it is just our choices that make us different and this is a very inspiring sharing of how we can speak to others with no judgement, and without reaction. That is pretty powerful and I am sure that guy felt the equality between you which he might not get all the time.
Sure HM, as there is no judgement in our hearts it is a blessing when we are able to connect on that deeper level, from heart to heart so to say, because that is what really matters and does make our lives purposeful.
It’s only when we separate from knowing we are all one, that we are fed thoughts of judgement and that is all an illusion. It’s the experience you shared Bianca that has us stop and accept the quality and essence we all share, just different expressions.
I love these meetings as they bring in a spherical appreciation of us all in the world, and remind us we are not alone or separate, we are all from the one source.
Very true, We have a ‘convenient’ memory when it comes to this sort of stuff!
Ultimately we’re all the same, we’ve just made different choices. Your lack of judgement here is amazing, it’s really become obvious to me recently that when you judge someone you actually HOLD them in the pattern or behaviour or choices they’ve made, rather than offering them inspiration to make a true change.
So true Meg – Judging someone is cementing the patterns of behaviours of which they have chosen to partake.
Cementing is a great word to describe this process, we also simply do not put enough importance on the fact that what we hold someone in or judge them by actually really physically effects them. We must understand it, because we know how it feels when we’re being judged, but despite this judgement is still massive and rife in the world.
A reminder for me , Bianca, that there is no love or oneness in judgement and judgement stifles connection.
I love that we are all interconnected and made of love and particles, just like the stars that fill the night sky.
I agree, Linda, a beautiful confirmation that when we drop our pre-conceived expectations and protections a whole new world, the ‘true world’ of oneness, opens up for us
Getting behind the masks and shields we put up to hide and/or protect our tenderness is such a beautiful experience.
When we do connect to that innate inner knowing that is within all of us, it’s like being handed an extraordinary key of perception that gives us immediate insight into all around us, and of course in ourselves
Reading your blog makes one stop and reflect on how many opportunities we have allowed to pass by because we have allowed judgement to undermine us.
‘It felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from’. I loved this line, it’s exactly what happens when we hold another as equal
This is a great example Bianca of not allowing any judgments to cloud the beautiful interactions we can have with others.
Interestingly I find that I am less affected by a heavily tattooed or scary looking person than I am by someone who is super good looking. I might also respond differently to a man who is very tall and strong looking compared to one who is very short and small. It is quite interesting to observe how we are affected by appearances and how differently we might respond if we met people with our eyes closed to the physical but open to the energetic.
Another beautiful lived example of how, when we are connected to ourselves we are naturally connected to everyone; it is as if our particles merge with another’s particles so there is no space, no walls, and no judgement between us. Now imagine if the whole world lived in this way, the way of true brotherhood.
Day in day out throughout history we are being sent messages to look within as there is more to us than what we see. Yet day in and day out throughout history we are ignoring the truth of these messages to the point where we are existing in utter discord, corruption and bastardisation of the Love we all are within, and all are here to live together. The hum of our particles when they move in harmony with the oneness of Love, is the absolute confirmation that we are all connected and in fact the truth that in essence, together we are one. This is what we are here to live.
As they say, appearances can be deceiving.
Beautiful, Bianca, underneath we are all the same – love.
Yes, indeed – the eyes can easily be deceived by appearances but the heart knows.
Beautiful Bianca, it shows us that in love there is no judgement. And that we all know that, and have that tenderness within.
This is a beautiful example of the interconnectedness of us all – which ok, most of us choose not to feel most of the time, but wow! how gorgeous it is when we do. I’d have loved to have had that conversation and wonder whether if in the same situation I would have opened up. Mmmmm..
What a gorgeous encounter Coleen, showing we are all the same, we are all One, when we let down our guard and barriers. I may not have tattoos but if my stance is guarded and protected then this is still a message to keep people out, no different to the guy you met with the tattoos. What I love is that rather than judge him you stopped and felt into why you were sitting next to him, and then like magic the plane jolted you both into conversation.
I recently watched a series that interviewed people and asked them what race or culture they identified with. They then showed them their DNA profile, which in every case showed that every human being actually carries the genetic information for every other single race – proving that we are more connected that we sometimes like to think.
We put covers on books to protect them. Perhaps we do the same with ourselves?
ha ha very good but it does not work. The best protection is to remove all protection and see things as they truly are.
When we all have our separate, individual body and personality, it can be hard to see that we are actually all connected and absolutely equal, and “All together, we make One”. Our forms can be all different, but our essence remains the same. Just different configurations, but the same particles.
How many loving and tender connections do we miss out on in with others because we are judging them or they are judging us….
I agree that yes indeed we are all one and the same within.
Every moment offers us an opportunity to evolve, to be less judgemental and instead be more loving, more understanding with others around us. Thank you Bianca.
I love these connections we can have in every moment when we are open to the one unified truth we all hold and that is love. Thank you Bianca.
Sometimes we need those bumps to get us going in the right direction. In this case a lovely chat with a tattooed stranger to shattering beliefs and ideals that were being carried.
This is a lovely blog Bianca. I can still judge people and sometimes feel that same tension and hardening rising in myself based on how someone looks. That judging puts a barrier between us that then means I can miss out on connecting with them. These days I am more open and recognise it’s when I’m disconnected to myself that these thoughts can come in.
Yes I agree Bianca, when we stay open to everyone their essence is felt, it’s their choice to connect or not but usually it’s a melting point where we easily come together. I work in retail and I learnt very early on ‘ to never judge a book by its cover’ and to connect with every one equally as we are all have our individual expression but we are all God’s reflections.
A beautiful blog, of how a willingness to be open and aware can lead to amazing interactions with people when we don’t instantly judge them based on all our preconceptions.
Bianca – I love how you kept confirming that we are all made up of the same particles. If we bring it back to our essence then we can have no judgement. Simply the communication between each other that is equal. And the way you responded to his question of if you had any tattoos felt really non-imposing and what a blessing for him to feel that.
I could come back and read this blog so many times because I love reading about the connection you had, it’s heartwarming. I also love your honesty at the beginning ‘I had this tendency to look out into the world and measure people up, assessing their worth on their outer cover, so to speak.’ it helped me reflect how many times I have done this in my life with others and more importantly .. why? The why would be I judge others because in that moment I am not connected to the love and truth I am so there is an emptiness and gap for this judgement to come in. I love seeing people unfold and be. Last week I had the privilege of doing some intense work with a group of young people. The boys chose values that meant something to them and wrote about love, beauty and responsibility … I was completely blown away by what they had shared, it was inspiring and beautifull. It broke all barriers of what we perceive boys to be. If we judge people by how we ‘see’ them or what their physical presents we don’t get the true blessing of actually getting to know them and what they bring.
Bianca, what an amazing confirmation of how we are all the same, and how it’s about staying connected and allowing ourselves to feel that. I love what you write about your own choices ‘There was no judgement in my reply, no arrogance that I was better than him because I didn’t have tattoos but an understanding that we each make choices every day of our lives.’ and the key take-away I get from this is understanding that no matter where another is at, how they look etc. we each make choices and it’s not about being better than another but about being with them and allowing ourselves to feel and understand that we are the same but our choices may be different but no matter what no one of us is less than another, and no one of us is not capable of being love in any given moment.
The job title, the clothing, the car or even where we live will never determine the connection and therefore love we choose to hold within us.
If we judge another we are judging ourselves and all others.
I love the absolute magic of constellations that place people, objects, nature, happenings and everything in perfect order for ALL to evolve.
I have just recently became aware of how easy it can be to encase fellow human beings with my opinions, concepts and preconceived ideas and how forceful and imposing that actually is.
I can relate to this article – it is often something we don’t want to talk about as it may be considered rude however, how people hold and present themselves does send out messages to others. I have had experiences where I have felt a little scared by the outer presence of a bikie and what his physical posture and dress communicated to me. I have also done the same – I used to carry a lot of extra weight as a form of protection to turn people away from me and to not have them come too close. When someone shared this with me it was actually very beautiful as it came from a great care and I could feel that they had bothered to see beyond the outer facade I presented to more of how I truly was – this was the start of learning to let this outer image go.
This quote is one of the most beautiful quotes from Serge Benhayon (and there are many). If we really considered this as a truth then experiences like you have shared will be our everyday.
I love the bit about the plane jostled you together. I am a film and TV director – if I ever put that moment into one of my stories, it would be derided as cheesy or cliche! Nothing cliche about God’s work!!
Bigotry, prejudice, and fear of others has never left us, it just shifts from one group to the other, and it will never go until we address the issues of oneness and brotherhood within ourselves. In the recent media it’s all about fearing Muslims and gay marriage and the perceived threats around those differences, but as those fears dissipate the same energy will just point at another new group. Until we individually take responsibility to embrace oneness and brotherhood (so much better than “tolerance”) the issues we have with those supposedly different to us will remain. And while I’m on the subject – how long has it been since we have had a truly inspirational political leader who embodies the qualities of truth and brotherhood? When Politicians use fear of groups like gays and Muslims as part of their own political agenda and the public is swayed by this, we become more deeply entrenched in fear and xenophobia, instead of living in respect, decency and openness.
I reckon we all miss that Oneness. There is such a simplicity to simply being together as one, as opposed to all the complication, stress, fear, and anxiety focusing on perceived outer differences creates.
It’s great that you shared this so honestly, I think throughout our days we can all have different reactions like this and certain things that trigger a certain response in us. Planes are definitely a place that can bring up a lot for people. You can feel people sitting there looking up to see who will be sitting next to them and hoping it’s not someone who will trigger them. The openness you describe is a great lesson.
Our perceptions of people can be flawed through ideals and beliefs that we hold but it’s great how you show Bianca that we can be aware of them and not let them run us, by choosing to be more aware of ourselves and any reaction we may be having and taking responsibility for how we are with others.
This is so beautiful to read after a statistic I heard today made a few days ago about there being a 400% rise in racism in the UK since the vote to leave the EU. The quote from ‘Teachings and Revelations’ and your sharing really brings home the truth we are all one – not people merely standing side by side but actually being a part of each other. We can only pretend to we are separate. How beautiful to feel this. Racism is nonsensical, as is competition, jealousy and doing things just for ones own self-interest – all so harming and keeping us from seeing the oneness we belong to.
“As I breathed gently I remembered a Universal Medicine presentation that I had attended where Serge Benhayon and the scientist Dianne Trussell spoke about the particles of the body and how we are all made up of the same particles and that all our particles are interconnected.” So therefore if we are all interconnected in this way, to then judge and reject another means we are essentially doing the same to ourselves.
It is such an awesome experience when we can let go of images, expectations we have about others and how they need to be or look and just appreciate their unique qualities for it is when we do this that we realise there is so much love and beauty all around us.
I can feel the level of responsibility we all hold to live in a certain way that reflects the true nature of who we are, this can simply be done by letting people in and by our movements and gestures so they get to feel their love within.
The behaviors we can go into based on how a person looks are insidious and most often people don’t even realise they are there. The more we connect with people to their inner-most the more the outer means nothing.
This is beautiful Bianca, there are so many ways that we judge by the cover a person uses. But as you share, no matter the cover, inside is a tender, beautiful person, and it takes only a commitment to be fully present in our bodies to feel this.
I love this blog and a timely read at a time where it is clear to see we have all yet fully get the truth of ultimately we are all one regardless of gender, creed, race, colour ….. It would be great if we all asked ourselves this question and came to the same conclusion 💕 ‘Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?” The answer was almost immediate – I could feel that he was just like me. Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.’
Wow, what a beautiful happening you have shared here with us. Thank – you Bianca, reading this has touched me deeply and I’m looking forward to today in a new light.
I have read this blog before and it is beautiful to read again. When we make judgements on another it is something we use to keep ourselves separate. Whatever the reason for the judgement, whether we want to feel we are better than another or something else, all it does is keeps us away from brotherhood.
This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all. In light of the recent Brexit vote we all desperately need to be reminded of this. The UK has been for many years a highly successful multinational country where all walks of life and nationalities merge together and thrive off each others uniqueness. Separation and isolation is not the answer – we are all one and the same and until we start to embrace this we will continue to have conflicts throughout the world.
Bianca, reading this blog has reminded me to find more time for reading Serge’s collection of purple books. They are the only books that I have ever read that allows my body to surrender whilst reading them. A perfect way to wind down the day.
What this oneness also brings is an equalness because if we are all one, then we are all equal. There can be no top one and middle one and bottom one, we are all one. We make different choices – as you say – and one may know more about a certain topic than another – one could be more learned than another – one may be more playful or in protection than other – the list can go on. But we are all equal and your interaction is a beaut example of when we allow both ourselves and each other to be just that.
We are one, and feeling that truly instead of as a theory is one of the most evolutionary moments in ones life.
I am often judgemental and it is a totally unnecessary deviation from understanding and love, which is only showing me that I still hold myself in both judgement and lovelessness. I love that the medicine from Universal Medicine is to love yourself, take responsibility and do that every day at every minute!
Like Monica shared the recent events in the UK have shown how we are all contributing to the separation and judgement we see now on free fall. It is ugly and it is what we need to deal with as it is an illusion of an issue as we are all one.
I was on the tube recently after a livingness one and instead of going into my normal protection sitting on the tube I decided to do an exercise where you stand opposite someone, close your eyes, let go of the fact it is a man or woman and then surrender, drop your protection. I instantly felt the guy opposite me who was overweight and tired looking essence, I felt him to be the energetic being he was and was pulled towards him as I was at the course the previous weekend. It was fascinating to me that we are all the same underneath all the disguises we wear.
The connection you describe is a real confirmation of our shared human-ness, regardless of outer appearances and contrary to any judgments and opinions we might secretly, or not so secretly, harbour.
“Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?” – such an important question to ask. There are 7 billion plus of us here on this planet, and the number of people we never meet far outweighs than the ones we do meet, yet I know sometimes I reacted to some people and wished I had never had to meet them – and in retrospect, I feel that we have something to offer to each other just by being ourselves, and when we close our heart and stop being ourselves because of the images and beliefs we hold onto, friction arises, and we miss the opportunity to appreciate the constellation.
I read this today from the UK Bianca where many are getting caught in who belongs here and who has the right to be here and how we are with the wider world, and underneath it all we are all the same, yet right now we are sitting in difference and judgement (many of us) and coming to understand what it truly means to say we are all in it together. I’ve always had an understanding of this, but this recent experience is allowing me to peel back layers and understand that at time in my own body and I’ve been interacting with people I’ve been setting myself apart, and how in doing so I contribute to the separation I see all around me right. And reading today how you stopped and allowed yourself to feel and connect to someone nearby, to feel and understand that no matter how they look underneath we are all the same is a great reminder of the power we all carry, and how we have a choice to stay connected to ourselves and others to celebrate the oneness we’re all from or to separate and divide. I know when I do the latter I become small, and I shut off from the world and right now more than ever I have a greater understanding that this does not work, we are all a one brotherhood, and we need to actively live it everywhere and with everybody.
Whatever is on the skin, we are all the same underneath. Something worth deeply pondering on the day that the UK chooses to leave the EU – primarily on the back of the immigration debate.
The breath of our inner connection is what binds us to the all and confirms that we are all one. A beautiful blog I love to return to over and over again. Thank you Bianca.
“As I breathed gently I remembered a Universal Medicine presentation that I had attended where Serge Benhayon and the scientist Dianne Trussell spoke about the particles of the body and how we are all made up of the same particles and that all our particles are interconnected.” I was at this presentation and what an astonishing revelation to realise how interconnected we are and that we really are all one, that we are all sharing each others particles. Try as we might to believe that we are all individuals – it simply isn’t so!!
It is so lovely to connect… To connect in general, to connect with individuals, it is as if connection is a very very important part of being human… Which is of course reasonable because we are all connected whether we like it or not. ☺
I loved reading this again. It made me aware of how much I have changed and how less judgmental I am than I used to be and at the same time areas in my life where I still judge. It is beautiful to feel the unfoldment and your blog, Bianca, it is great confirmation that if we stay open, are real with people and face our prejudices then our connection with ‘oneness’ deepens.
“Last month I had an experience that confirmed to me how much Serge Benhayon’s collections of books have supported me to become more open and real with people.”
Reading this made me stop and appreciate, yet again, just how much everything that I have learned from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has supported me to be more of who I truly am. I still have my ‘L’s’ on but without a doubt, hands down (and firmly on the wheel, of course), this is the only way to travel.
I had always thought that I understood the meaning of the words ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ and they have remained firmly embedded in the back of mind. It was not until I became a student of Universal Medicine that I truly got a sense of how damaging judgement really is to all parties concerned – there is no such thing as ‘safe prosecution’. Any form of judgement immediately creates division which results in our separating from ourselves and whoever is standing in the harsh glare of our judgement. When we connect to our oneness judgement does not get a look in – there is no space for it and it simply disappears!
Reading the books of Serge Benhayon and following courses with Universal Medicine has made such a difference with how I am with people, it feels although I was friendly I was not really connecting with the other person, just protecting myself from what maybe could come towards me and in that judging the other. To let our judgements go and just see everyone as equal gives space to feel what is true, what is Oneness.
This blog presents a beautiful reflection for us all to see and feel. We are all the same within our hearts. No amount of tattoos or even makeup can change that.
I just love these words Bianca, how you describe that there was: “a hum of energy between us”. As I read these words I could feel this hum right through me, and it had me smiling as I had the distinct feeling that the hum is the way our particles “talk” to each other.
‘I kept confirming that we were both the same and it felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from.’ Thank you for such a simple yet powerful reminder Bianca. I know the more I remain open and accepting of others the interactions I can have with strangers are truly beautiful, it seems everyone is craving connection and when we offer this to another it is greatly appreciated.
Given the opportunity… It is inspiring how people can actually open up and share more of what they truly are… They simply need a reflection, as Bianca says, of an open heart.
Thank you Bianca for such a beautiful blog that clearly illustrates the potential we can miss out on when we judge a book by its cover. When we judge a person by how they look on the outside we can totally miss out on what lies within which in essence is a unique collection of qualities that equally makes another as divine as ourselves. I am learning more and more each day that when we close ourselves off to what lays behind the outer cover of anything we can totally miss the opportunity to open those pages of immense joy and potential for learning about not only yourself, but all others equally.
That is just beautiful Bianca, very lovely to read, and so honest. I like how it does not matter what choices we make in our lives, we all have particles that belong to One. Thank you Bianca and Serge Benhayon. Serge I love your books.
When judgement drops and openness is present, miracles of love and God can occur. Thank you for sharing such a miracle.
What an amazing connection Bianca, the opportunities we get when we choose to stay open and connected to ourselves and others are incredible. Everything we experience is an opportunity for us to learn and expand, no matter what our experience may be, everything presented to us allows us to choose to either evolve or resist it. To allow ourselves to stay open, this easily connects us to people and to feel that we are indeed all the same regardless of outer appearances, we all come from the same source.
We all need a little more understanding of each other, firstly that we all make different choices for whatever reasons and secondly we are all the same gentle, tender human beings under whatever rough exteriors we may try to portray. It’s great this chance meeting proves exactly that.
It is wonderful reading this blog again. I find although I am so much more open and accepting of people than I used to be, there are so many layers and it is always gorgeous to catch and drop the guard. And reminders such as this blog and the comments are very welcome. How amazing would it be for us all to return to once more experience the whole of humanity as one big family.
Yesterday I had an encounter at work with a customer who was unhappy about a product and all of a sudden I could feel anxiety and tension throughout my body, within moments of concentrating on my breathing I could feel a wave of steadiness come over me and by simply looking the customer in the eye and holding my connection. What I felt to be quite a hard and stressful ordeal simply melted away and the customers manner completely turned around. Connection is the key and reading your words Bianca confirms that for me this morning thank you.
Bianca, this is such a great blog. What you share proves that we are inherently all the same and that to remain connected to ourselves instead of shutting down opens the way for a deeply beautiful connection being developed with others no matter who they are or how they present. Love the Serge Benhayon quote too.
When you really stop and consider it, deep down we all know there are no coincidences in life and as you shared in your blog Bianca every single interaction we have with another graces us with the potential for learning. So, when you have a person in front of you that you are refusing to read you can totally miss out on the potential wisdom and understanding your meeting each other can bring to both of you equally and even the potential ripple effect this interaction has with the world around you.
Beautifully said Suse, absolutely agree. We are constantly presented with many, many opportunities to learn and grow every day. By appreciating our every interaction is an opportunity for learning, sharing and evolution, this will change how we meet and greet. We have to harden our body to not connect with others and therefore miss out on this incredible opportunity. By choosing to be open, express who we are and by embracing and accepting people for who they are, we get to experience brotherhood by coming together as equals.
This is a great blog for me to read today Alex, as I felt judgment coming up for me, I could feel the holding back, the withdrawing and the separation this brings to my body, my soul and to everyone. I am reminded, what is it that I am not wanting to see, that in my own life, I am not living what is being reflected to me. It is a beautiful learning, an opportunity to step up, and be more of me.
There is a real simplicity to oneness when we break it down to particles and the vastness that we all belong to. As we go into the microcosm of life, our country, religion, skin colour, gender etc – there seems to be more and more reason to focus on differences. In this, perhaps science offers more to religion and brotherhood than once thought.
I love returning to this gorgeous blog Bianca as it reminds us all that when we are connected to ourselves in full we reach all others equally so. Connections are always there to show us a grand reflection of learning in all moments we care to see them.
Beautiful sharing Bianca – I’ve made many judgements on people and situations and now I’m always shown the ‘more’ that is there where I wasn’t willing to see truly – I’m grateful for this.
It was certainly no coincidence that I returned to this blog today. A few days ago when I stopped to have a rest on a long drive a man came over to my car and asked if I had $2 so he could buy some bread. The way he was dressed showed that he was covered in tattoos. In the past I would have felt very uncomfortable, dismissed him very quickly and driven off, but this day I felt to take the time to talk. In the next 15 minutes in response to the many questions I asked him he shared what had brought him to this point in his life and one of the most definitive answers was that he wished that he had never got the tattoos. When we parted there was a light in his eyes that had begun to shine, and he felt lighter and more himself than he had been when he first spoke. It was an amazing and very humbling experience, and instead of leaving me feeling shut down it had opened me up to the fact that we are one in brotherhood, it is simply the choices we make that lead us into separating from ourselves and each other; and that there is always another choice to be made in every moment.
Wow – Ingrid what a humbling and powerful sharing you experienced by talking to the man instead of brushing him off. I have done this on many past occasions coming from judgement, which has then resulted in me going into protection. I can feel now that we are all part of the one brotherhood.
I love connecting with people, especially ‘strangers’ and having these moments of shared connection. It makes my heart warm, my body jig and my face smile.
Thank you Bianca for a truly beautiful sharing, of our oneness with us, and the man on your journey.
This interaction that you shared is beautiful and shows how we are all same. Whilst reading I couldn’t help but see that the man got his first tattoo after a traumatic experience. It shows how we react and do things instead of knowing where we can go to truly heal events, hurts and experiences that have happened to us. That is why Universal Medicine and Sacred a Esoteric Healing modalities are so important and very much needed; it offers us a way to truly heal all of this.
Confirming that we are all one brings a very spherical way to look at the world. Which feels very spacious and full of opportunities to learn and grow. Thank you Bianca.
Every time we interact with another person, and we are connected to that wonderful stillness that is at the core of everyone’s drive and hunger, whether they are aware of it or not, then that person has the chance to feel , for themselves, that beautiful lightness of being.
“Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?” It’s so amazing that in every meeting we can find some learning and something or someone to be appreciative of. Thank you for sharing how this happened for you on your plane ride.
And if we all approached and appreciated life from why am I having this particular experience, what is here for me to learn would not all the people of this world have a very different understanding of each other which would in turn allow it to be a very different place to live?
Yes Suse, this is true. I have been in a difficult situation for some years now and realise that however much I might feel that I understand the situation I can still get hooked in to some aspect and lose my centre. Being able to hold the big picture is vital and stand in and express the truth and not be swayed by other people’s reactions, staying sensitive to all that is being expressed and holding love for all, actually holding and deepening my love for myself is paramount and something I need to address. Thank you for inspiring deeper reflection.
It feels like not only do some seek tattoos as a shield but also as proof that they are not as truly sensitive as they are through enduring the repeated pain-full process of having a tattoos.
‘This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all’. When I read this sentence today I realised that when I have had similar moments in my day I have not stopped and truly appreciated the magic of them. Your blog has offered a wonderful opportunity for reflection and appreciation.
We are all part of the greatest jigsaw puzzle ever created. We all have an important part to play. Every piece is required. There is always the one last piece that is required to complete the puzzle… are you the one? Yes, because we all have the ability to be the one.
“I took a moment to appreciate that by being connected to myself, I was able to be open and the real me with him.” I love this Bianca. When we are connected to ourselves we are connected to all wth openness and honesty. This is where equality for lies. Living connected to us connects all.
‘I took a moment to appreciate that by being connected to myself, I was able to be open and the real me with him’. Great line Bianca, I find that when we are accepting and connected to ourselves we can accept and connect with others, for the beauty in all is then easy to see.
I agree Linda, the trick is to deal with any reaction that is there, be honest about it and be open to change.
When we stop judging each other then our hearts open and we are free to express from the love within us and begin to feel our connection together at a deeper level, as so beautifully expressed in your blog Bianca.
Judging people just on their looks is like living in a library and never learning to read!
It certainly is Steve, beautifully said! All of our lives experiences are logged into our own unique books of wisdom that lay within, a wisdom that can provide great understandings of not only others but ourselves equally. Not to truly reading, appreciating and learning from the wisdom of the pages that lie within us all equally is one of our greatest shames and something as a society we must collectively remind each other of and return to.
Beautiful Bianca. There is so much stigma, judgement and mythology around tattoos that it is easy to forget that there is a tender person underneath it all. How gorgeous to connect in full to the person and not allow a bunch of beliefs to hold you back.
Oneness and brotherhood sounds like an oxymoron. With the exception of identical twins, we are all unique on the outside. We are more like water; we can be hard and cold, hot and steamy, most times invisible but always present. In the end we all return to our natural state and are all the same and indistinguishable from all others… like brotherhood!
Thank you Bianca, I loved your story of a true brotherhood sharing, how amazing that our particles know no bounds but the freedom to be interconnected with everything.
I agree Jill, it makes me so joyful that our particles are interconnected, no-one is left out, pure togetherness, it’s just amazing to ponder on this.
So true Elizabeth – in every moment we can learn something about life. And in every moment we can make the choice to take more responsibility for our life and for the people around us. It is time to step up, the hiding is over.
When two people really meet each other, without any expectations, just openness and the willingness to connect to the heart of another person, that is just wonderful. As you say, on the inside, we all the same – love and we can’t appreciate ourselves and others enough. We are divine.
I had a most timely lesson about the evil of judgment recently when a very big and heavily tattooed man came walking towards me in the supermarket. It was only the tiniest sliver of judgment that tried to sneak in before I clocked it and stopped it going any further; but it didn’t matter that it was only tiny; it felt horrible in my body. All I wanted to do then was to be able to look in this man’s eyes, but he went off down another aisle, and at that moment I felt that I had missed out on a very important opportunity for me to grow. I continued shopping and a few minutes later as I looked up from a shelf there was this man walking straight at me, and as he came closer he smiled, and it was the biggest, warmest and heart melting smile. Appreciating the opportunity I had been offered in that moment I smiled back – with all of me. Continuing to smile he walked on past, leaving me with a lesson I will never forget, one that I am so much richer and wiser for learning: don’t judge any “book” by its cover as within the pages there just may be a message that will change your life forever.
I have to get there. I admit. Sensitive as I am, every time someone with a tattoo walks towards me I can feel the true intensity of the wave of energy coming my way which is pretty much felt by my body. I still have to learn not to absorb energy so sometimes I just do not know what to do with my body. So, next time, I will try surrendering and see what happens. Thank you for the sharing Bianca.
These tender moments are the points in our everyday lives when we can feel the connection, the oneness and the brotherhood, and as we start to recognize this sense of oneness and let go of the separation both within ourselves and with out, these moments start to become more and more in fact, they become connected.
We are like drops of oil in boiling water until the water stops boiling and calms down we are all pulled together once again.
A beautiful example of brotherhood, equality and oneness Bianca. Thank you for sharing your experience and confirmation.
We are all one, one brotherhood but how we usually treat each other is far from this. If only we could all see what you saw in this guy, drop the judgements the comparisons and realise that anything less than love only adds to the world’s troubles.
Absolutely agree kevmchardy, anything less than love harms us all.
Absolutely true kevmchardy, the way we judge and compare ourselves with each other and see each culture or even nation as separate and distinct from each other completely destabilises and feeds the world troubles no end. If we all saw and felt each other and ourselves with the love and unity as Bianca does our world would be not only totally transformed but totally revitalised with the wisdom of understanding and acceptance that underneath it all we are all innately equal and one.
It is interesting how we train ourselves to look only on the outside and then make up a story about someone without actually knowing them. For instance when I see women with tattoos I instantly think ‘That must of hurt’ and then make a judgement based on that, but when I see a man that thought isn’t there, maybe because I expect a man to be hard enough not to feel the pain.
Very true Julie – when we start to understand where that our reactions to people come from hurts we carry and our judgements from comparison we can begin to let go and to feel what the truth of a situation or person is. So often it is very different to outside appearances as the purpose of these is often to disguise or protect another with similar past hurts.
“Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?” What an open and beautiful question Bianca because we always have the opportunity to learn and by asking you are confirming you are a student of the livingness.
It’s great what you can feel coming from a piece of writing, thank you for sharing your story. I’ve found that when I meet someone, I look at their eyes and meet them there. It can be easy to look someone up and down, check out the clothes, their hairstyle, shoes, bag and what someone says and then make a judgment, which is the way I feel we are assessed a lot of the time and the way I fell for before universal medicine. This way always ended up being tainted because the behaviour can be different to how they looked, which is where expectations can cause problems.
Bianca you wrote “What is here for me to learn?” Since coming to the work of Universal Medicine I try going beyond the facade that people show the world although at times I find it challenging. I have constructed a wall of shyness and detachment around me so people would leave me alone when in fact connection is what I crave. Sometimes a simple heart felt smile is all it takes to crumble the wall of protection we surround ourselves with.
Bianca, you questioned why you found yourself sitting next to this man – this is so cool. No reaction or desire to control, but a simple acceptance of a situation as an opportunity for evolution. Very inspiring.
“Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.” What a beautiful opportunity indeed to uncover the truth and loveliness within us all with such honesty. Thank you Bianca.
Kelly, Bianca the saying “never judge a book by its cover” has taken a whole new depth for me since reading this blog. There is a true beauty, tenderness, grace, fragility, power and strength in us all. No matter what we put on the outside.
After reading this blog before I have realised that I do judge people from the cover at times. At the other hand I have the ability to see beauty in everyone and Iove all equally if I choose. Interesting that I don’t always choose this. My first feeling is that sometimes I come from an investment and I can see at this very moment that life looses it’s magic when I do that.
Yes Katinka, it’s interesting how we all equally have “the ability to see beauty in everyone and love all equally” – yet for various reasons or in certain situations we choose to switch this off, and boy oh boy does life lose its magic when we choose that!
I find that I can’t maintain seeing all as equal as yet either Katinka, I’m finding the more I hold myself as equal the more I see the all is equal. I can see that many of my judgments come from protection. If I judge them and box them. then I keep them separate.
This blog has deepened the contacts and letting go of judgments when meeting people. I start to see and feel more and more through the outer layers that people put out. They use certain expressions such as tattoos almost to be seen so we can connect to the loneliness inside. I’ve come across many people that have tattoos but from whom I feel that they are actually very loving and humble on the inside. To me this is very different that judging in my head that people who have tattoos are not loving. A big one so I would not have to feel and could feed the lies to my own perception / ideals / beliefs in the world. Because in fact, we all are loving beings. But in order to see and feel that I have to love myself first.
Imagine the beautiful interactions we are be missing out on if we label and put each other in boxes. We are all the same in essence regardless of our chosen outer image. This is a heart-warming story Bianca, to be aware of ‘judging the book by its cover.’
There is much to learn from your blog Bianca. The big thing that I got from the blog is just how hard we all try to protect ourselves from others when really all we want to do is connect. This is a huge game that we play until we reach breaking point when we have something happen to us and we suddenly find that we need others.
What I love about this Bianca is that you were open to looking at what your issue with judging a book by its cover was. You wondered why you were sat next to this man and were open enough to explore this. From this openness a beautiful connection and insight was realised. Thank you for sharing this inspiring story.
I have explored something today. How much I can judge myself as well by my cover! When I didn’t do things right or not on time or maybe feeling “wrongly dressed” for a certain event etc.: the acceptance and openness for others starts with me first. When I allow myself to just be – it is an easy way down to bring it to the ones around.
Ah yes christinahecke, I know this one too! If we judge ourselves and are harsh and critical, we cannot just switch this off when it comes to those around us. So it makes absolute sense to allow ourselves to be, for then we can allow others this same grace also 🙂
That’s true Hannah! It feels this is the only true way. Anything else would be in a pleasing quality or being nice. Which is just as equally judging another – quality wise.
I had a wonderful moment at work on Friday when we had a ‘scare to show you care’ charity event. Someone in a very evil looking outfit complete with black gown, wart covered mask and gloves stepped out in front of me. I did not know who it was and despite the vision before me was not alarmed. We had a short conversation before he commented on how I had not been scared. I realised that I had felt his lovely gentle essence and his sense of fun before I took in his very scary costume. Even though my colleague was disappointed I had not been scared it was great to share with him he could not hide his lovely self behind a scary costume.
What a lovely confirmation Jane, that when we allow ourselves to truly feel we can sense the true nature of others beyond the exterior.
Let’s observe what is the ‘sameness’ and honour that “Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.” We know there are differences but how deep do they truly go?
I like this Davidsonsamantha, it only goes as deep as we allow the illusion to be
Last Friday I looked someone in the eyes from connecting to my heart and I saw beauty instantly. This to me confirms the Oneness we innately are and where we come from. Working together as One to constantly evolve, grow, expand. I can also feel the closeness this brings and this is something that still freaks me out. From physical distance I start to feel how much people around me actually love and appreciate me. They might not say it in words (of course they don’t, because chances are big that I choose to not trust it and close off…) but sure they let it be felt. I’ve been the one all my life along and maybe for lifetimes that chose to not feel how much I’m loved and how much I care and love myself. This is changing. Slowly but change it will!
Emotions, reactions, and a push to make life about the self all create separation from ourselves and thus from the brotherhood that can otherwise be there. This is huge to consider, when we realise just how much emotions and reactions are the accepted norm of human life.
Beautifully said Mary. Your words echo my experiences too. If I had not come across the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, I would not have been aware just how life really can work when we make it about love and not emotion
I totally agree Joshua. Judging another can lock you into only feeling the particular emotion or reaction which you are judging that person from – so you miss out on all other qualities that lay within them and thus your potential to connect with them. How many potential opportunities of connection with others have we lost in the past to judgment? How many more do we need to miss out on before we realise we truly are all equal and interconnected.
Well said Suse. And with each lost opportunity to truly connect with another is not just a opportunity we personally choose to miss out on, but so too is that same opportunity an opportunity lost for us, another and ultimately for us all.
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.” [Esoteric Teachings and Revelations, by Serge Benhayon pg. 410 (1)] A powerful quote indeed, we do all come from the same source and if we can live each day knowing this we can not help but love all equally.
True Donna, and additional to that: when we feel that others do not sense oneness in the same way, that we basically are one, we have two choices: hold them with love and communicate that or react to the rejection. And not only observe the hurt as such but keep it on or keep projecting it on humanity.
Bianca I was reflecting yesterday that when I walk down the road it is so easy to judge, be impressed by, sympathise with the picture that each person puts out. The homeless person, the businessperson – all these characters that we often take at face value rather than connecting with and feeling the person, then why they have their particular brand/image they have chosen. Certainly something that I am going to practice as it will no doubt open up my eyes to a far deeper connection and truth with everyone.
Yes David, all these ‘Images’ separate us from the truth of who we are and the beautiful reflections offered to us by others. Images are imprints we carry and never question. They quickly come in faster than we realise. It is time to live from our sense of truth that comes from within and to discard all images that arise in order to keep us separate.
I love it how God and the universe constellate situations to give us an opportunity to heal something that we need to look at in our self.
So true Fiona, and what a gracious way to look at everything that comes our way. If we approached life in this way, as an opportunity to heal our own separative ways there is no room for finger pointing.
Absolutely Fiona, and the awesome thing is if we miss the opportunity, it’s bound to come around again.
Yes Fiona, there is always new opportunities to heal and learn in all facets of life. What’s also great is if we are not aware at the time of the opportunity there will always be others.
The tenderness, love and warm you offered your fellow traveller is awesome Bianca; such a blessing for you both.
A beautiful reflection of brotherhood
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One”.
You never know what the next person will bring when we come into contact with them. If you held yourself tight Bianca you would not of had the experience to have surrendered and met a beautiful person sitting next to you. What you shared is a beautiful lesson for all. Thank you
True Natalie, and the man would not have had the experience of meeting the beautiful person sitting next to him. How much we miss out on by not letting people in!
So true Sandra – it seems like such a little thing at times, but it is always a doubling up of a positive or negative. Either we both (all of us really) expand or we both contract. All from a simple decision to be open and loving or not.
True Sandra, it’s a lose-lose when we don’t let others in – we all miss out on the connection and the potential to grow, learn and appreciate each other – and even just simply enjoy each others’ company.
What a beautiful reminder of what is possible if we stay open to all in the knowing that we are all the same.
Yes and it allows the arrogance of being ‘better’ than someone else because you choose something different to fall away. A lovely reminder to focus on what binds us and not what separates us. As it is much greater than we think.
Being able to see past the outer façade and through to the real person in front of you, comes naturally when we are with ourselves and feeling our own loveliness as you so beautifully did Bianca. What a rich and gorgeous encounter was had for both of you, and in a way that should naturally be for all.
Agreed Julie. The connection that allows us to see all as equals is not a complex way of living – but we certainly work hard at making it that way!
Good work Bianca, irrespective of skin colour or what’s on your skin we are all equally the same.
Beautifully said Joe and 100% true.
What I love about this blog Bianca is that it stems back to one thing and that’s no matter what we have on the outside we are all the same within and that’s what makes us one. Our particles are definitely all interconnected with love.
Yes Kelly it is so true what you say, we are all the same on the inside irrespective of the colour of our skin or what we have done to decorate it to make us supposedly ‘different’ from everyone else. There is no denying that “our particles are definitely all interconnected with love”.
Yes Kelly, we are all interconnected and we all come from the same source and will return to it.
Yes Lee, we are all varying expressions of the same source.
Absolutely we are all the same, connected to the same one source no matter what our outer appearance is there is no denying we have the same red blood running through us all and we will all return to that same source again.
What you share is so true Kelly. The outside of what we see of another is just a visual effect, a visual effect that can trick us into thinking that someone’s exterior is actually them when it’s not and never will be an accurate reflection of the wisdom and oneness that lays within us all equally.
I have come realise, the more decorated the person the more they are hiding….this is the investment in another outer image so we don’t see the natural person within. It actually only takes connection to feel beneath the outer layer and yes they are just the same…
Is this not a judgement too? What I love about what Bianca has shared is that she felt her own judgement, protection and hardness towards this man and then realised that this was her issue and opened herself to the possibility that we are all the same. All of us have issues or carry hurts, some are more visible than others.
Indeed, Lee. In a way, someone who carries their hurts so visibly is being more honest that they are hurt than the majority of us who bury our pain beneath a smile and the quiet judgement of another.
I love how students of the Way of the Livingness are doing this all around the world…..taking responsibility for their part of the oneness.
Reading this brought a smile to my face Bianca that we can share beautiful connections with anyone at anytime. This line stood out for me -‘ I kept confirming that we were both the same and it felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from.’ -Such a gorgeous reminder to take into my day thank you.
Gorgeous to read “As I sat there I felt there was an openness in my heart, a hum of energy between us.” I can feel this quality and it feels natural and the way to express with each other. There is a sense of space and expansion when there is more love in the room, when more love is shared and appreciated, the hum of love….
Another aspect of Brotherhood is that it holds all in equalness and we have responsibility for holding that equalness with all others, and for helping everyone to come to the same level of love that they equally are. So if we hold a single person greater or lesser than ourselves then we have lost equalness and have instantly capped ourselves, and all others, as we are allowing something which is not true to gain traction. This then brings in the potential for greater harm to follow – and all manner of humanity’s ills – contraction, diminishing, hurt, vengeance, control, corruption and illusion to thrive.
I love Serge’s quote on Brotherhood – “Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One”. It encompasses our every responsibility to ourselves and equally to all others to be loving and true. – The all requires all of us to be the all and will not be so until we bring all of us to it.
I had an appointment with someone at the bank and it turned out to be a man with tattoos on his arms. His right arm had a thin line design that was very spacious unlike any other tattoo I had seen. I was surprised when a thought came in that ‘it was a shame he had felt he had to do this to himself’ and I wondered about mentioning it however I chose not to. He was such a lovely guy and helped me enormously, not only in my banking but also in seeing how I can distance myself from others through the judgements I make – if only for a few seconds.
Feeling this oneness that we are all from really does take any judgment or criticism out of the picture. It allows us to have greater understanding for all, including ourselves and how we are in each moment. We can never, in truth, be better than someone or they less. If we are feeling this then we are in separation to the oneness and brotherhood that is naturally there for us to live. Thank you Bianca for this blog, I feel like I’m able to go deeper with this each time I read it.
In the past, I spent so much time rehearsing something that I wanted to say to my then partner when there was something that I was having trouble telling him. So much nervous tension and anxiety around getting it right so that he would get what I wanted to say. Every time without fail, I would end up saying what I had basically rehearsed and got my point across, and yet still felt totally empty after. That trying to get it right and making it all about the words with no me in it, left both of us disrespected and held as less.
So often in the past I would worry about meeting people and how the conversation would go. Thanks to the teachings of Universal Medicine I have learned what it means to connect to myself first. This makes all the difference for all else naturally flows from there and the connection I have with others allows space for conversation to open up with no tension or push.
Serge Benhayons books are more than just words on paper. There is great healing in every sentence.
“I took a moment to appreciate that by being connected to myself, I was able to be open and the real me with him.” recently I have been much more open with people and when I open up as to what is going on for me they often respond likewise and we learn things about each other we never would have known previously. Connection – yes – first with myself and then with others, not to mention God! We are all one.
I loved this Bianca, because how many of us have or still do ‘judge a book by its cover?’, we make snap judgements all the time. Yet you have beautifully illustrated the power of connection, connection with you first, which created the space for you to be in connection with this gentle-man. What a gorgeous experience it sounds like you had, confirming that it is all about connection and therefore allowing the space for ‘oneness’.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover” – a saying that I also grew up with yet also didn’t apply. Many people I know say this yet at the same time all judge others and themselves by how they look, what they wear – with this we’re all missing out on the oneness that is innately within us all. It’s only been through Universal Medicine that I’ve let go of many of the layers that stopped me seeing everyone as equal.
We also judge ourselves in the same way, making sure we look the part, have the right job, car etc. Making sure we fit in and don’t stand out as the amazing people we are.
This is a re-read for me but I enjoyed it none the less. It really shows how easy it is to miss out on opportunities such as you have shared Bianca, if we judge each other by our outer appearance. What strikes me is how quick, almost instantly a judgement of another can come in and then there is less likelihood of a connection – it’s lovely to read that on this occasion you were aware enough to discard that judgement.
Lovely Bianca that was such a great joy to read your blog because it reminds me on similar experiences I made. I love to talk to people because often they had such interesting things to talk about. I love to be in contact with them and to feel how our connection went deeper if we talk longer. Sitting in a plane is always a good opportunity for me to get in such a beautiful contact. And yes I agree it is also the best opportunity to not judge them or me.
I love that Estheraltmiks and I agree when we are truly open with another the most amazing conversation can arise, I too love the contact and connection with others no matter what the subject of conversation is or even if it is a short little something, in for example the supermarket.
I agree Carolien, I have found that people respond unexpectedly when I am open, smiling or saying hello to me at times when I least expect it.
Judgment of any sort, no matter how tiny, separates and divides humanity. There is not a place for it but unfortunately it exists and is rife within society. But when we give ourselves a moment to look and feel within the body of those around, we are in fact the same, it’s just the outer shell is different. For this thought and feeling to lead is a testament to the quality of the Livingness of the person and a dedication to brotherhood.
Connecting to our tenderness, allows others to connect to theirs simply by way of reflection. When we are all able to connect to our tenderness, there is no way to be but ultimately and completely loving. Love is the antidote to our ills, so more and more people connecting to their tenderness, and communicating from this, allows more love and less ill in this world.
“Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.” It was beautiful that you saw the situation as an opportunity, rather than casting judgement as so often happens.
Seeing opportunities to connect is so key. We rush around so much in life caught up in what it is that we need to do, where and when, as opposed to the opportunity for connection that this allows. When we lift our head up from our own bubble, we can see and feel all those around us, and how amazing we each are. How could we then not want to connect!
Today I experienced something very revealing, healing and confirming. Whilst talking to a friend I could feel how she’s surrounded and held by Love from both masters and angels. It was so beautiful to feel how we’re held in Love, even in our most difficult moments or periods in our lives. The Oneness got today an extra dimension. The Oneness with the Loving world all around us. We are indeed held and guided. Beautiful. To never be forgotten and be inspired by.
When we can open up with love and equalness with others, no matter what their appearance, and can feel safe to openly share a part of who they are, these can be magical moments of connectedness.
It’s very important to see beyond what a person presents to the world. Not always but often the more bizarre the appearance the more deeply hurt they are or the more they’re trying to protect themselves.
Responsibility and true joy is what I feel when I feel I am part of the whole that makes us one.
I love looking in people’s eyes instead of looking at their outer appearance or focusing on their hardness, emotional state or protection shield. It is a very simple thing to do and it brings moments of magic when the other allows the connection to be too.
A beautiful example of brotherhood and how the choice you made to stay connected allowed the other person in and there was no ‘hard work’ to be done, simply to confirm the oneness that you felt instantly and to honor that between you – how glorious.
Letting others in by being open just feels right! Being open doesn’t cost anything and there is no effort required. It takes fewer muscles to smile than it does to frown… so we put more effort into not smiling? Is it the same for letting others in? It is time to let go and just be… the world and you will gain by the lack of effort.
So true Elizabeth, this question is a lovely contrast to the way people normally react to a situation that is not to our liking. By staying humble and open we can receive the blessing of a constellated moment where we might otherwise have been blind and deaf to what was there for us to learn.
I just caught myself reflecting about a train journey home today and how I judged people I was sitting with on how they looked and how they felt. I realised I did not give them a chance in allowing them to just be and can also see how making assumptions about another has absolutely nothing to do with that person but is instead about me putting up a guard of protection to others and not allowing me to just be! A cool learning 💕
Sometimes I catch myself as well, that I don’t think lovingly about another person. In these moments I have to remind myself, that we are all the same on the inside, very precious beings and pure love.
The more open we are to people the more we allow ourselves to read the totality of what is going on and not just the part that we think might hurt us.
True Adam, it’s this partial reading governed by our hurts that blinds us and stops us seeing the whole picture. The more we understand ourselves and others the less we are affected by reaction.
It’s so true, unless we read the whole book how can we possibly get the full story. Of what use is a book that remains tightly closed? If we ourselves are open books others too feel free reveal their contents. The more open we are the more we can read between the lines and understand the true depth and similarity behind every story.
Given the fact that we are made of the same particles and are totally interconnected on a particle level, literally exchanging particles with everything and everyone we share space with, it is really incongruous that we have mentally separated from this fact and focused on the superficial differences. What I am realising is that when connected to the heart the differences dissolve and the connectedness is felt, and the more I dwell in my heart the more the oneness becomes the norm.
Lovely hartanne60 – the particles and the understanding how they function makes all the difference and it makes it ludicrous to separate and focus, like you said, on the superficial differences we have with people. Staying connected to ourselves and knowing that particles communicate with each other makes the oneness with others so much more the normal way to be.
It’s funny how we can be so quick to judge another by what we think we see and make that the total summing up of the person from that. Then totally missing the divine being right there in front of us.
Julie, that’s a very apt expression: ‘the total summing up of a person’ – it’s such a mental computation that puts them in a box, closes the lid and often throws away the key. It can cause longterm rifts between people and certainly dismisses strangers at a glance – there’s the ‘in crowd’ and the others. No room for the divine when the mind rules the show.
So true Sandra Newland, when we bring in anything other than the fact that we are all equally amazing and divine, it’s like dropping a single drop of dye in water, it colours everything from there on.
How many times have we all misjudged someone from what we saw? We would with just a look, decide what we were seeing and put them in a box and move on and dismiss them? Ten years ago I went to a lecture of someone who a friend recommended that I go and see who he said was amazing… that was the only information I had. I arrived early on the day of the presentation and there were a few people there milling around and what I have seen and put in the box was the janitor setting up chairs in the back of the hall. When it was time for the presentation to start the janitor took the stage and introduced himself and Serge Banhayon.
I had the same experience sjmatsonuk, when I first came to Universal Medicine. I remember noticing how present the man was when he set up the chairs, so in a way I wasn’t surprised that he took the stage and I was immediately open to Serge Benhayon because he was like one of us, in no way setting himself up as anyone special, yet from what he said it was clear to me that he was connecting to a great wisdom and intelligence and I have since realised that we all can connect to this if that is our purpose.
How lovely and amazing it is to feel totally understood and appreciated for exactly who we are as we are. What an incredibly loving gift you gave this person, armor or not you didn’t choose to be kept out, but stayed with yourself and his armor came down.
Thank you for this great reflection of life and the oneness we all are so beautifully opened up to see for us all. Everything presented to us is for our learning and it is beautiful when seen this way. This is a gift even when we may not see it as that until we do as things always come around and around for us to learn from in our cycles of life. This is an amazing awareness for us all to learn and a great example thank you Bianca for sharing this.
Great example of how we are all the same within, regardless of our looks and demeanour.
I agree Floris van de Schot- when I am openhearted and with myself I am able to ‘receive’ others with my eyes. Through the connection from the inner heart, the oneness of who we are is confirmed. But when I choose to see outwardly with my eyes first, and allow thoughts from my head to rule instead, what I see is the outer differences first. This causes judgement , comparison and jealousy to occur.
I am noticing that I’ve got hundreds of beliefs to ‘look’ at people to convince to myself the differences between the other and me. Because this is what it is, being constantly distracted and very busy with keeping the world as I chose the world to see, as it is. Rather than ‘receiving’ people and feeling their incredible Love first. More and more often I am chosing to feel that Love and in fact dare to see how Precious we all are. In that Love I feel the Oneness. If I’m one with me, that is connected to my heart, I can feel that Oneness in and with others. And if I’m not, I can’t.
Well said Floris, only when I hold myself first in love, then I can hold other people in love as well.
Thank you Alexander for confirming this. How could it be any different. Why isn’t this our core subject in life, both in our educational system as well as in our workplaces! The Love inside us is so precious that it should be celebrated and honoured in every way we can. Only this way we can restore brotherhood on earth. And it all starts with holding my own love for myself.
This was such a beautiful encounter for you to share with us, I love the wisdom of your words, in asking, what is here for me to learn, and us also. Thank you Bianca.
What a simple, beautiful story of connection Bianca. This demonstrates the oneness in all and that this experience can be shared between complete strangers if we are open to it and let down the protection and hardness we often hold.
There is nothing more beautiful than the love and tenderness that can be found in another’s eyes when judgement is let go of and we just connect. I love this blog Bianca.
The more I let down my shields of protection and approach others just like I am, they do not feel the urge to protect themselves and a real connection is what can follow from this – letting us feel, that we are indeed equal.
It is strange isn’t it, that we do judge each other by our looks, appearances, masks. When if we do connect to what is within us all, we know that we are all the same, tender loving beings.
So true Lisa. Each time we judge another too we are missing an opportunity to connect.
Bianca, I love how you saw this moment as an opportunity to learn something about yourself and the world. It is a very enriching thing to do, to see every moment as an invitation for us to learn, heal and grow.
It reminds me how judgmental I’ve been-and still sometimes am- toward other people. But more and more I learn that we are the same and Divine by nature – and I laugh every time when my fantasy about another person explodes as a soup bubble.
Wonderful elenalight I was blown away by your expression when your fantasy about another person explodes as a soup bubble. I had to laugh too and will now think of it in the moment if I will be judgmental!
Yes elenalight I am sure most of us can relate to having had some judgments of others, we are all products of certain conditioning and it is not until we see through the separation this causes, that we can see more clearly what is before us. As I have let myself into my own heart, I find that others are in there too…we are all in this joyful ‘soup’ together.
I have found over time I have come to bring this oneness into my work environment. I used to put bosses above me and when I have had a team of people that I was managing I would think I was higher. After understanding and embracing equalness and a Oneness I can still oversee people but coming from a place where I don’t put myself above them. It’s about learning from each other and working together then Harmony is able to flow.
A great question to ask ourselves Elizabeth, ‘“what is here for me to learn?”
This is a lovely article and experience Bianca, I know I could have easily gone into judging ‘the book by its cover’ in the situation you described. I love how you let go of any judgement, and just connected with the person as an equal and fellow brother, what a beautiful and healing experience.
It is amazing what the true meaning of brotherhood is, yet we/the world have disconnected to this so deeply, that it is not even a consideration in daily life. Yet Serge Benhayon brings back the truth in what is possible to live. That there is a responsibility in brotherhood, and that it is for each of us to recognise this, and by virtue of that, brotherhood would be at our fore.
Arianne that’s very true, we have had the reminder that this in fact is our natural state, reawakening this within brings the responsibility to each other back … Brotherhood.
A few times I experienced some interaction with someone that I thought would never approach me. I had judged them as too important, to high-flying for wanting to talk to me. It is just another facet of judging a book by its cover. I had pre-determined that an exchange was not possible based on perception of being small in comparison to those other persons. We often do ourselves a great disservice by judging someone based on past experiences or prejudices. Everyone is here to teach us something about ourselves, let’s open our heart to all.
Here, here Patricia. And often those ‘high-flyers’ also lack confidence and are so appreciative to be able to have a heart-felt conversation without feeling they need to live up to the image imposed on them.
Agreed Elizabeth. It is one I now frequently ask of myself. It would change so much about the way we live if we all asked this question, even if we started with asking it just once a day!
The sheer simplicity of holding conversation with no judgement and complete equality is something so very profound, something that when we get to experience gives us the opportunity to communicate in a completely different way.
Here here Oliver – the feeling of connecting with a so called ‘stranger’ is so uplifting and confirming of the fact that we are all in this together, making the whole.
Agreed Oliver. What you are describing here is communication on an entirely different level to most peoples’ current everyday experience. This equality is something we all know within and has the power to cut through separation straight to the heart of the matter. Well expressed.
I agree Oliver – what you share is profound. It is such a different way of communicating and connecting with someone when we open up from our hearts and not our limited thoughts and judgments.
To look past the skin and appearance of another and open your heart to genuinely connect with them is an awesome thing. In my life I have also been really self conscious of how people see me but from re-connecting to me and loving and caring for myself this has now fallen away.
Vicky it’s lovely what you’ve written. I too used to be really self-conscious and now I love meeting people and sharing the truth we are all one. Makes for some very heart-warming moments.
I feel the same Karin – it is so lovely to meet people and share in the way that encompasses everyone, and the responses are beautiful too.
It is beautifully confirming to re-read this and feel how powerful it is to let people fully in, warts and all as they say with no judgement whatsoever. It is a quality of living that is super rich and feels very very joyful to not feel we have to hide any part of our fullness and love from anyone!
Yes so true Joshua, and I also find that I love talking and connecting with people whatever their outer appearance might be. It leaves me very rich and joyful indeed.
I agree Lieke and being open and letting everyone in is a life changer!
So true, Joshua. when I feel any judgment coming into my body I always come back to me and feel that we all have the same inner essence and connection to God no matter how we may appear on the outside.
Judgement is so so tiny compared to feeling the true love that is inside us.
I agree Joshua, fully letting people in brings the depth of love that we all are to the surface and for us all to enjoy.
Joshua so true, it is amazing to feel how powerful it is to let people in fully, with no judgement. Experiencing that oneness and joy is super beautiful. If I feel any judgment coming up, I bring it back to myself first why is this feeling coming up, it gives me the moment to ponder deeper in myself.
Its true Amita, if we feel judgement even in the slightest, it is a reflection on ourselves and an aspect of how we are living that is not loving.
Yes Josh living in this quality is ‘super rich and feel very very joyful’. I’m finding people are drawn to this richness especially when we give it freely.
Bianca, I had a similar experience a few weeks ago were a lady came into work looking for swimmers. We walked around for a while looking and talking. When we got to the counter at the end and I was putting her purchase through. We had a moment were we are looking into each others eyes and there was a sparkle between us that I felt go all through my body. She then smiled at me and told me I had a beautiful smile. It wasn’t the smile that she felt that was beautiful it was the connection that she felt between us. It was a exquisite moment.
It is so lovely to share these moments of connection with so called strangers. It always shows me that, at our essence, we are all connected and are all the same.
Yes Lee I too love those moments with so called strangers who in the next breath are intimately sharing their deep dark secrets and the love and connection between you is like you have known each other forever.
I agree Lee, sometimes I feel the moments of connection with ‘strangers’ are very powerful as reveal the connection alone without the effects of an acquired prior knowledge of the person or past interaction with them. Just knowing them through the simple connection which lives between us all.
That is such a great revelation, Denise, “It wasn’t the smile that she felt that was beautiful it was the connection that she felt between us.” The connection is what allows us to bring out the real gorgeousness within ourselves and recognise it in each other.
I too have similar experiences with ‘so called’ strangers, moments where it is just our essence that is speaking, uncomplicated, simple and truly loving, they can be fleeting or with someone I do know. But equally they are very beautiful.
A Beautiful moment Denise and much like Bianca’s, which speaks of the power that being all of the love we are, free from any pre-misconceptions or judgements, allowing for the connection between two souls. As we enter our day today and everyday with this same love and openness to all that presents, there will be a trail of loving encounters emanating and expanding our world.
What a beautiful moment Denise. I have had moments like this too when I am connected and feeling vibrant and joyful. There was that very beautiful, intimate connection with the eyes first, and then there was a smile, or even a nod, because it is so true, it is the connection that is felt, and that feeling brings so much joy as there is a realisation of oneness with everyone, and that just feels gorgeous.
Denise I have come to realise, given the opportunity we all love to be met in full… It’s rare now that I don’t get to meet a fellow brother, there is always that sense that there is no separation we are definitely all one and no matter who I meet the connection is magic and sometimes it’s just a smile.
Denise, thanks for sharing this exquisite moment with us. To clock these very precious moments is so important. It is time to celebrate our grandness and the love we have for another.
How much do we miss out if we never get past the cover page because of a projection we cast on – when there’s a full volume of book to be cherished inside.
This is so profound if only we all truly connect to this truth how different would the world be “BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”. There is so much being shared in the beautiful quote and for all to deeply ponder in. The true connection to this would seriously change the world.
Yes indeed, well said Amita. This is Love in action – world changing stuff!
Bianca your blog is so deeply needed across the world. For it is these surface differences that spark divisions, city wars, gangs, separation and in general are used in some way to discriminate between people. What Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon present is shown here to clearly be an answer to so much of a separation that abounds our planet. Your choice and responsibility to commit and feel each person in their equality of the essence they are is an inspiration for all.
Bianca this is such a great example of connecting to someone and seeing past their outward appearance. All too often our judgements are there straight away and instantly get in the way of having a deeper connection with a person we haven’t met before, but with understanding we can see how people change their appearance as a protection.
I love talking to people in the street, maybe in the park or on a bench in the high street, window cleaners, if a lady looks beautiful in an outfit – there are so many opportunities to talk to people and a friend once asked me, ‘how do you talk to people so easily’ and I replied ‘I talk to them as if I know them already, as though we were already friends’.
Amazing Bianca, what a profound way of looking at feeling disconnected to people, are we actually just disconnected to ourselves first, and therefore not able to feel others?
Oliver you make a good point here, “are we actually just disconnected to ourselves first, and therefore not able to feel others.” It feels that many of us walk around with our hurts and issues, numbing ourselves from feeling and therefore there is no connection with self and hence there will definitely be no connection with others. We definitely need to work on self connection to truly connect with others.
I know what you mean Bianca, about measuring others by our own standards. I have spent a lifetime measuring MYSELF by others standards, therefore not ever living in the fullness of who I am but choosing to hide and play small. It wasn’t until I came across Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I realised that underneath we are all equal, so comparison is ridiculous, it was only based on my lack of self worth and low self esteem, not to mention not an ounce of self love, but that is ridiculous too and such a waste of time and energy. I no longer choose to accept the fact that I am less than anyone else as that is dishonouring to the Son of God that I know I am. I am not perfect, but I do know the truth of who I am, thanks to the Teachings of the Ageless Wisdom. Thank you for sharing and reiterating what we already know deep inside, that we are all The One and part of the whole.
Bianca, what you have written here is confirmation of the fact that our seeming differences are literally only skin deep.
I love this Bianca this is exactly what we have to do to reach out to humanity. Feel our bodies and know that we are the same, realize any protection we may have will disconnect us and ironically do nothing to protect us. We all love to be met without judgment and Bianca has shared a great example of what can happen when there is absolutely none of it.
Bianca what I love more than anything is the healing and learnings we can have with everyone around us. There is always more to uncover.
Bianca what you write on here is the lifeblood of humanity – our openess with each other supports us to feel that we are all connected – deeply so.
Bianca, when we confirm what unities us, and stay open and connected to us and everyone there’s space for magic, for a true connection. And really all that truly divides us are the choices we make.
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.” I am going to enjoy feeling this as I live in each day. To truly feel that we all have something to contribute to each other and see and feel this rather than shutting people out.
Bianca I purposefully ear marked your blog to read while sitting on a plane recently. I was sitting next to my husband but made a choice inspired by your blog to stay connected to myself during the flight and not check out with food, TV or sleeping. This decision gave my husband and I time to begin our time away talking with each other, sharing whatever it was we were feeling and cuddling up to one another. At times during the flight I could then feel when I wanted to tense up, shut down or switch off and it was during these times that I surrendered more to myself so as to stay with me and not only my husband but everyone on the plane.
Beautiful piece of writing Bianca which confirms how we are given opportunities to connect with others in love and without any judgement and when we do the tenderness between us cannot fail to be felt.
Bianca, I too have often met people on planes who in the usual course of my day I would never cross paths with or if I did I would judge them as someone I would prefer not to engage with. However, when sitting next to a stranger for an extended time such as on a plane, conversing with the passenger next to me has shown me that under the outer layer, we are indeed all the same. As you say, these experiences confirm “without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all”.
It’s a science in itself how expressing Truth actually expands the one who’s expressing and everyone or everything around that one. True expressions are just so amazing, that it is hard to describe in words. It is like Heaven lands on earth everytime I express Truth. And I found because it feels so lovely, it’s worth it to keep building these expressions. Confirming and celebrating that I am indeed from Heaven.
Beautifully expressed Floris. I know what you mean that ‘…Heaven lands on earth every time I express Truth’. The connection is pure and the body knows it is one with all. It is in this connection that I feel the expansion. It feels like this is when the whole universe expands because we are giving ourselves to it, becoming one with it. To do otherwise takes effort, hardness and protection.
True Floris – the expression of truth brings with it a wonderful feeling of expansion – and how different this feels from the way we have habitually expressed in life! Heavenly indeed.
Floris what you share is beautiful, expressing In our truth there is great expansion felt. I can relate to what you say heaven lands on earth, yes it’s hard to explain the feeling but definetly worth to keep building on expressions.
Often, tattoos can be designed in a way that it puts people off. However the person wearing them will still be love in their essence and it will be their choice to remain in that love or to separate from it.
People make all sorts of choices for all sorts of reasons that at the time make total sense to them. Tattoos are just one of those choices abet with a very permanent visual reminder for all to see. I have never met anyone that got their first tattoo for the hell of it, and more importantly there is usually an underlying hurt or emotion attached to each and every tattoo they have – a hurt or emotion that often may well still remain unresolved even after the tattoo is permanently inked on. In fact I wonder if some tattoos for some may well be a constant reminder of what they have not yet fully resolved, let go of and healed.
Never judge a book by its cover- such an important truth. From the connection of our hearts we are all equal and the same.
When we are connected and coming from our essence, everyone is seen for who they truly are and there is nothing in between, just love.
“As I sat there I felt there was an openness in my heart, a hum of energy between us. I felt like we were being held in this bubble of warmth where no judgement could be. I kept confirming that we were both the same and it felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from.” Bianca this statement is so beautiful, your experience has helped me to more deeply understand the power of true surrender. Thank you for presenting the depth of intimacy and connection possible when love, unity and equality are our true intent.
There is this saying: “It takes one to know one.” To know myself in oneness means to know everyone to be the same. Me in separation and therefore ideas, beliefs and judgements will allow me only to see that much as defined by the ideals I hold.
Wise words Alex. Bianca has touched on the truth that we all must come to – that we ARE all one; our particles interchange and we are only separated by our choices to champion individualism. Crazy when we see how destructive it is.
This story highlights the power of thought and energy. One can manufacture our own shield to protect ourselves and keep others out, the other slices straight to the core of who we are, which, is that we are the same on the inside, no matter what the outside looks like.
This blog does show the power of thought and energy. We have a choice then, protection and contract, hold back, or just being the love we are.
I get the potential and power in holding another in equality, it is possible to live like this in everything we do and with whom ever we meet. I have had similar moments as you describe, where I have felt a resistance, protection or tension and worked through it so that I meet another with equality and love, the response is often heart felt and we enjoy a true connection. Working through why we may feel this protection and letting go of it feels so lovely. ‘Brotherhood’ feels true, we compliment each other so beautifully, there is no need for competition or defence, we all have something that is the same and yet unique to share, we are all part of the whole, a ‘oneness’.
Thank you Bianca, for sharing such a beautiful experience, of meeting another person without judgment but from the essence of who you are, and feeling their essence and the feeling of oneness it brings.
Bianca I love this story. Thank you for reminding me that “tattoos offer a place to hide to keep people at a distance”. So many people have tattoos these days. It won’t be long before I see someone with a tattoo, your story will remind me that we are all the same.
To live like you have described here Bianca is to live heaven on earth.
Absolutely agree Elizabeth, a place where there are no ideals or beliefs imposed on others only the true reflection of who we are.
Yes, totally agree with you Elizabeth, to live feeling the oneness within ourselves and each other is heaven.
Our natural tendency is to be drawn to other people when we are more connected with our own bodies as the love we feel for ourselves at those times, just naturally wants to be shared with others. And there is no need to go into any sort of protection because your own love is supporting you, so you’re free to share that love with another, as you so beautifully did Bianca.
Bianca, thank-you for your openness and honesty in sharing this story. You have touched upon the ‘beholding’ nature of love – where we cannot but recognise all others as the same. This is something I continue to be inspired by through Serge Benhayon and the light in which he holds all, every day of my life.
And I deeply appreciate the honesty here in your sharing of the immediate hardening and perhaps recoil that you felt initially with the ‘tattoo covered man’. Clearly you knew that to recoil wasn’t true – and so steadied yourself in your body to support what was and is true, i.e. that we are all intimately connected.
There is a great learning in this – for we may find ourselves reacting and recoiling from others for all sorts of reasons, yet via a choice to be present and connected with ourselves and our bodies, and open our hearts, such patterns of protection (that we may not even know the root cause of) may start to dissolve.
Love, truly, is greater than anything that separates us. And every step to re-connect to love is to be celebrated.
What you share is really lovely Victoria, it is a step by step choice of connecting to our own hearts and opening up from there.
Yes, that’s how it can be can’t it Sandra. No perfection (nor need for it), but honesty, self-reflection and a willingness to open our hearts and let people in.
Have to wonder, just who is ‘healing’ who, if we find ourselves aware of a wall we have up towards another…
I really enjoyed how there was no expectation of what the interaction was going to be like, just the focus on staying connected with self and openness with another with no judgement.
I love this sentence ‘I felt like we were being held in this bubble of warmth where no judgement could be.’ This is the magic that happens when we are willing to open our hearts to let others in.
This is such a greater reminder that we are not who we appear to be, but we are so much more. It’s so easy to judge people for their appearance and surface behaviours. I’m learning to really see people for who they are and not what they look like, what they wear or how they talk etc.
I love reading this Bianca, of your openness to another person and the reminder of the sameness between each and every one of us.
Bianca- Your experience with a stranger with tattoos on a plane was so beautiful to read- reminding us all that from deep within we are all the same.
And what a confirmation. We ARE all ONE and it is simply our choices (being disconnected from ourselves and therefore in disconnect with others which leaves space for all the judgments) that set the foundation for how we interact with and meet others. I love the fact that you could feel the warning flag of ‘judging a book by its cover’ and by simply not playing that game a whole new set of opportunities and learning opened up. Super simple, powerful and inspiring. Thank you, Bianca.
Oh yes mathildaclark, I agree. The blog of Bianca is such a confirmation that we are all one, and that what plays outside is often not the truth, more perhaps a wall of protection. Truth is that we are one and are not separated in any way. The separation just takes place in our heads and minds.
Being disconnected from ourselves already means that we are connected to something else we are not and that what we are not is separation by definition.
it is truly amazing what we can discover when we don’t judge or making stories in our mind about people and instead simply letting them in and stay open.
Bianca your blog has been so incredibly supportive in everyday life thank you. Every time I have the grace of meeting some one that is to my conditioning a little different I remember your blog. That is that regardless of how their external appearance has been formed that we are all at our essence divine beings and I only need this truth to be present between us. It feels so much more loving to allow them to be whom they are with out my thoughts assuming anything.
You raise an important point here Sandra in allowing others to be, then there is no need to control, manipulate or protect ourselves from others.
It is a beautiful blog which I want to remember when I meet someone ‘different’. It reminds me that I don’t need to focus on the differences between us as they are insignificant in relation to the connection and oneness we actually share.
“This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.” The oneness is truly beautiful to feel, and it is with everybody, and it indeed takes the courage to truly open up, without judgement to yourself and the other, than it is possible to truly connect with all of the amazing people that we are.
Beautiful Benkt and I agree.
The interconnectedness of particles is a fascinating subject and one that I find surrenders my body whenever I allow myself to feel how we are all one. Perhaps over time science will spend more energy exploring this topic that Dianne Trussel and Serge Benhayon have already shared and bring a greater understanding to humanity. In the meantime we can all be as open and loving and sharing as you were Bianca in your conversation with the man with the tattoos.
Really powerful to read this and how we can hold back the expressive connective true nature of ourselves through the judgement of people and their covers. I have sat side by side with many people and have automatically chosen my own protection over connection, what you have presented Bianca is so lovely to feel – what am I here to learn? Very powerful.
Bianca this is so very very beautiful. The loveliness bought a tear to my eye and I also felt the sadness in me for all the times I have judged another and my self for what is on the outside. Thank you for this timely reminder of how precious we all are inside.
I love what you have shared here Bianca: ‘Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.’ We can be very quick to judge someone by the way they look and fit them into a stereotype. But by doing this we can miss out on so many opportunities, the main one being connecting deeply with someone who in essence is exactly the same as the rest of us. If we start to see beyond the outer layers, and connect first with this essence then we cannot but truly meet them.
Yes, I love what Bianca and yourself have shared, and, ‘This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.’
Oneness; undeniably we feel it, if we allow it.
Great Comment Oliver – I feel we only don’t allow it because of the pain we feel from leaving it, but this oneness is always there so our pain is an illusion.
An illusion chosen and being held on to until we choose otherwise.
To be offered oneness is inspiring that choice.
There is divine beauty in brotherhood, there is true love in brotherhood, there is truth, joy and stillness. When we drop our masks, drop our judgements and allow ourselves to be with a wide open heart to all, the world is a very different place.
“What we put out, we receive back” ….. the more of ourselves we lovingly share with the world, the more love we receive back from those around us. Sounds so simple and yet somehow we’ve made it so complicated.
As we build a body of love and connection, trust and transparency develop, and then we can bring our true loving selves to the world, and as Bianca experienced, just by our presence we can heal.
There is nothing more to be done, than being ourselves to the best of our abilities. Simple as that.
The conversation; the questions you were able to ask and the answers you received could have only been asked with innocence and answered from honesty because you really did drop all judgement Bianca. Not just a thought to ‘not judge’ as this would have still been felt. How free we leave ourselves and others when from our bodies we feel our connection and sameness with another. I am stunned by this story, perhaps because it holds a beauty and love between strangers that is too seldom.
You’re right, Deanne, there is a big difference between saying to yourself “I am not going to judge this person even though they…” or instead simply opening yourself up to feeling someone’s essence first and foremost when you meet. I agree that Bianca’s story is a beautiful one.
Yes, great distinction Deanne and janetwilliams06.
I loved reading your blog Bianca you describe the beauty of the connection we can have with others when we let go of judgement so well.
I love the fact that innately we are all one, and therefore when we speak to a stranger we can connect to that oneness and it is a confirmation of this. There are in fact no strangers.
To know that we are all connected from the same source, love, is immense. That beneath all the layers we accumulate we all in our essence look and feel the same is a beautiful thing. We are one and the same, yet each with different qualities to bring to the world.
Yes it is quite divine and really refreshing to know that and to learn to live it.
Very true Rebecca. And if we throw re-incarnation into the mix, it does explain how when we meet certain people, there is already an effortless connection.
So true, when we want to, we have the ability to connect with a stranger and be with them like they were a dear friend. We have that ability available to us all of the time, it’s just a matter of whether we choose to use it or not.
Dear friend this is beautiful and true.
Dean this touches on the truth about love, if we recognize love as a state of being, a beholding light then we will love everyone equally whether we have just met them or not. Love meets love, first and foremost. It is something I am learning more and more.
When we connect with others, with the knowingness that we are all God’s children, all part of the same, very large family, there will be a warmth and tenderness in our connection with them. If I give myself permission to hold that awareness in my heart, it feels like energetically I’m giving that person a hug, I may have never set eyes on them before, but I am showing the same warmth and love that I would to any other.
that’s so true Alison what a beautiful comment.
Love that Alison, then from that “knowingness that we are all God’s children, all part of the same very large family”can develop such a huge feeling of love within for all of humanity. That is indeed how Serge Benhayon relates to all of humanity, with such a huge love. All he does is for humanity, and he is helping us build our ability to also be able to help humanity realise that we are all truly one great family.
Beautifully said Alison, we are all one family.
I love this too Rebecca. It is a fact there are no strangers. How different our world will be as this veil is lifted from humanity. We are one family.
When we see the world like this we can feel a stronger sense of brotherhood with all.
So true Rebecca. The separateness we create with people we don’t know or understand seems to be a form of protection or a way of holding onto some belief or ideal of how we should be.
A beautiful declaration of the truth of Brotherhood Rebecca. Thank-you.
‘There are in fact no strangers’…how gloriously true Rebecca, well said.
Sometimes it seems that I cannot reach that oneness in another or that the other is not replying from that place inside, nevertheless I can be and express from the oneness in me without expecting the other to do the same. Oneness and the space for free choice offered and no matter how that choice looks like, oneness was felt.
Rebecca, the same with me. Sometimes I let myself be distracted by the behaviour or the look of a person, but innately we are all one and surrendering to this truth is magic.
So true Rebecca and there are many moments each day in which we can connect in this way.
Rebecca that is beautiful, to know we are all connected to the same source, the same love, the same oneness. Then how can anyone be strangers, there are no strangers. We are forever all connecting to the oneness, when we start to accept this as humanity how beautiful it will be.
Knowing that I am one with everyone is true for me, but I do find it puzzling that I still sometimes choose to shy away from people whilst all the time wanting that connection that I miss. I do find this happens a lot, people choosing to keep themselves to themselves, which really is only a reflection of how far we strayed from that connection with our true selves, because with that connection there is no separation, and the natural inclination is to draw closer to people to connect to another facet of the whole that is the human race.
I feel the same Linda, when I feel connected with myself, everyone and everything is a part of that connection and in this way Life becomes One and we are all One with it. It is when I feel this that I can feel how precious Life is.
Gosh judgment feels awful doesn’t it? Building an appreciation of myself and dealing with my own hurts is a way to foster that connection and address the judgment.
I like the truth: Never judge a book by its cover. The more I love people, the more I’m able to look through the mask of a person and see exact the same beauty, love and tenderness in everybody, no matter which face they show to the world. That is just wonderful.
I am also finding the truth as you have shown Alexander. What treasures lie just below the books cover is all gold, just waiting to be re-discovered.
Yes Alexander, well said.
When we begin to understand that were are all the same, and that we all find different ways of surviving life, or addressing our needs, there is no judgement because another has simply chosen a different way from us.
I had a similar experience on a plane trip recently with a woman who I would have thought I’d had little in common with. We ended up having a great conversation about women, work, stress, cancer and more. Bianca your description of the warmth that is generated in the moments we open up to someone unexpected (or maybe someone expected too) is spot on. Crisis is a great leveller too – when something goes wrong we drop the protection and band together. A car crashed not far from our place last night and a number of us from different houses leapt into action to see how we could help. I love that we can do that!
This is a terrific sharing Bianca. I know if I’m feeling a little wary of someone, that actually opening up a conversation with them takes away the fear I was feeling, I have found the fear of the unknown is often all it is that causes me to draw back into myself or put a wall up. It is wonderful how the teachings of Serge Benhayon have changed so many of our lives and the way we relate to one another.
We have the opportunity, whenever we choose not to judge, but just to be, to heal just by our presence, our ability to listen, and to speak from our hearts.
Stunning contribution cjames2012, there is a deep stillness in the the quality you are presenting here.
Tattoos have become a very prevalent part of our society, and mean many things to people that get them. It does make me really curious too, having never wanted one myself, how and why this form of expression comes about for another. Allowing these sorts of open discussions with people we may not ordinarily is something I am finding opens me up so much more to the world, and feeling the love that is in each of us – equally so. Thank you for this piece Bianca, it is really beautiful to feel this interaction you’ve had.
On the tattoo front Amelia I can share that the (by today’s standards!) modest one tattoo I have/had came about by me seeking something outside myself. The flower motif I chose was placed on my left wrist so I could visually reference it and remind myself I was a woman – for I knew I didn’t know what it really was to be a woman. Now it was true I wasn’t living anything close to being the true woman so that part had a kind of honesty to it, but really, I could have found the answer without the tattoo. And that is of course what I ultimately did once I discovered Universal Medicine in general and Esoteric Women’s Health in particular. If only I’d been patient and waited a few years the tattoo would not have been necessary at all.
Learning to feel first and not judge by what we see is a gift beyond all as it reveals the oneness and love we all are and allows us to live with a harmony joy and true livingness.The teachings of Serge Benhayon and the ancient wisdom simply reconnect us with our knowing and truth inside as the love we all are and are a gift to humanity.
Thank you, Bianca. This blog has helped me to look at the judgements I still put on others because they look or act a certain way, but it is a very powerful and timely reflection of the judgements I still have about myself, which then spill out into my relationships with others and the world in general.
Yes judgement – of ourselves, of others – seems to play a huge part in all our lives. I was just imaging God, and perhaps other like beings, who don’t judge but simply love. What a marvellous and all-encompassing freedom of expression to aspire to. “Love does not judge, it loves” – I think that’s an accurate referencing of the saying by Serge Benhayon that captures the gorgeous magnanimity that is love without judgement.
Judgement keeps us wholly separate and living an existence. So often it is not until a disaster strikes, bringing together people from all ages, nationalities & walks of life that people remove these guards of protection and our oneness returns.
A beautiful and very touching story Bianca. The way you shared your experience with such a depth of humbleness, understanding and love has been nothing short of amazing. A glorious illustration of true brotherhood – now that’s true Art!
I love that Tamara – The Art of Brotherhood
When you are fully connected to yourself, you totally feel that truth, that we are all one and we are connected. It’s like there are no lines or borders and there is just this beautiful flow between everyone.
It’s so very true, when we get caught up in judging others by their “covers” we miss out on connecting to the simple truth that we are all a part of the One.
Yep Hannah but sometimes you can trick yourself into thinking that if someone behaviours badly enough that judging them is ‘warranted’. I am realising now that there is no good enough reason to judge another because if we do fall into this judgment, we are essentially separating from the oness that we are with everyone. Serge Benhayon has been presenting it for 12 years now but it’s so true, observe but not absorb these things as they come up.
In other words we can’t be Judgy Judgstien!
Totally agree Sarah – Judgy Judgstein ends up feeling very alone and separate from others – and those judgy ways can make others feel the same.
So true Hannah and I am glad you have brought up how others are also affected by the Judge Judy factor. I must say I am getting way better at living theses concepts in my daily life but when I do slip up I sadly I fall into judgment of the people closest to me. Observing it though, when I look deeper it exposes something key about my relationship with myself.
So true Sarah, often we are so quick to judge because we are reacting to the reflection in others of what we have not accepted in ourselves.
Beautifully said I endeavour to connect to this wisdom in the more challenging moments of reaction.
It is awesome and healing when we surrender and let go of ideals and beliefs we hold about others and bring understanding of why they do what they do or choose to look the way they do only then we can experience living in true brotherhood.
Wonderful Bianca. I am always so glad when people look past my outer appearance and address me as a loved and known being, whether on a plane, in a shop, or at a Unimed course. You can sometimes feel it when someone holds your appearance or something they have heard about you against you and it is a little saddening if they can’t make the leap to our intrinsic oneness!
Lyndy, up until reading your comment I hadn’t actually considered how it felt for me to be judged, I had placed all the emphasis on me judging others but now I am feeling all of the times that I have felt an energetic stutter, block or loaded moment when someone has had a thought about who I am rather than felt our collective Oneness. The fact that we all do this is hardly surprising as up until now the world has operated under the illusion of separateness. It will take a very long time to return to our innate knowing that we are all One but because that is actually who we already are then it’s only a matter of time.
We like to think that we are ‘different’ from others but ultimately we are not – It is only the outside shell that masks and protects. You might say we wear our heart on our sleeve, as we show everything. Judging others is a poison that keeps us away from knowing that truly we are all one.
So true Jenny James, and judging others is also a poison that keeps us away from knowing who we truly are, because every judgement separates me from my essence where I am the same with others. So judging someone else (or myself) hurts everyone and uprights a lie.
Absolutely Stephanie, it is completely a trick to keep us looking at, and judging others, keeping us away from any self reflection and most importantly our beautiful inner essence.
I was instantly drawn to read this blog the moment I felt the title – ‘Oneness – A Confirmation from within’ – it feels so clear that this resonates with everyone deep inside.
So true Michael… and I wonder why it is that so many of us live out our lives not letting each other in. I am sure that if we were to live in brotherhood, we would see a drastic drop in many illnesses.
Michael yes I feel it resonates with everyone deep inside, “openness” of humanity. That’s what we are all here to do,, become one with all.
“I could feel there was a tenderness within him that he kept hidden away and that his tattoos offered him a shield to keep people at a distance.” How many shields so many of us use to keep ourselves apart from others, be it tattoos, alcohol, drugs or the many personal habits such as comparing ourselves to others and either elevating or reducing ourselves. Gorgeous to read of your connection Bianca – to yourself and thus to the man on the plane.
And the weight of our shields can become such a heavy burden – it makes no sense at all as to why would we not choose to discard them.
So true Tamara – yet I – we – think they can protect us, which is so far from the truth. As Serge Benhayon has presented, being open and transparent is the way to go.
I love the interactions we can have with strangers. When we allow ourselves to open up without judgement and connect with people it is totally wonderful to feel the oneness and the fact that we are all one and the same. For this reason it is always worth taking time to connect with people and making space for interactions. We are giving ourselves a gift as well as the other person.
I’ve had some great interactions with people on trains recently Rebecca. There seems to be a common bond among travellers that allows them to ‘open up’ and share all sorts of stories and experiences.
Absolutely Rebecca, I love taking the time to connect to people and have a chat about whatever comes up. It does not matter if you have met the person before or not. And what I experience, just like you share, that it is a gift for both parties.I always hear or learn something new or I get reflected something to ponder on.
Thank you, Bianca. Those moments – such as when you chose to connect to yourself and open up to feeling the essence of the man next to you – are super powerful, and this is how we can make a difference, choosing love one moment at a time. It’s as simple as that, and amazing to hear what came out of the experience thereafter.
Its a great vignette – that the tattoos are there to ward people off so you feel to stay away. But actually it is just a means of him protecting himself, and then once you get beyond this layer it shows there is the tenderness deep inside us all.
I have been noticing the difference in the quality of connections and conversations with people since I have been dropping my judgements. I know it has stemmed from appreciating myself thus letting go of self judgement. I love that moment when I am with another and when, in the past, I would have judged, now I see and appreciate them for who they are and we have a great connection and a loving conversation. Judgement is very anti-evolutionary.
I can deeply relate to what you’ve experienced. Since I’ve dropped my judgement. The sad part was to feel that opening up to people, I might not have before or I hesitate to get in contact with – it is nearly always a surprise how wonderful and amazing these people are. And it always left a feeling of shame that I had not held them equal before, because I had let myself being fooled by the look or other prejudices.
This is an amazing quality that you have discovered marylouisemyers and I shall try to remember it the next time I encounter someone with Tattoos/body piercing/green hair etc….etc….. . I still find myself using that ‘rush to judgement’ feeling as a sort of shield to protect myself from the perceived visual attack upon my senses. More work needed in this department I feel.
When it comes to old people we may only see the outside – a grey or white haired person who walks slowly or who is ill, and it is easy to forget they have had a full life and were not always old. We may see someone driving too fast and judge them, not knowing they are on their way to hospital as they just received bad news about a close relative. We don’t always know why people do what they do or why they are as they are and we make judgements based on what we think might be the reason, in other words, we make up stories about people, instead of feeling who they truly are.
This is so perceptive Carmel! We make snap judgments about people, based upon observing them for a brief few seconds and our own prejudices, which may be a very long way from the truth.
Thank you for sharing your experience on the plane Bianca, I can apply your loving approach to everyone I walk past who has obvious external guards, as well as those who feel closed or fearful, we just have to keep our hearts open, as you have written, we are all the same in our essence.
This blog is very sweet Bianca, it reminds us all that there is no need to ‘try’ and do something or ‘be’ something other than yourself. If everybody in the world contacted themselves like you have done on the plane it would be a very different place we would all live in. Super inspiring little article.
There should be lessons in school on being yourself, and giving up any trying to be anyone else!
I totally agree Heather but for now we ‘teach’ this and be this in the way we live and then all children that we come across feel the power/choice and have an opportunity to claim that for themselves, which is a great start.
There is something special about two people enjoying each others company without the need for appearances to dictate the social etiquette. And this is given to us very well here in this blog, which has already helped me to move myself out of the way, to be less judging and more open to letting people in.
Bianca your sharing supported me with a deeper connection to a customer. I could feel the pull to be distracted by their facial piercing. Sure I know this is to be around and seen very often in many people in many places, but very rare amongst the usual customers I see. So I stayed with myself and opened up to the person connecting to our true purpose of meeting. It had nothing to do with personal appearance; it never does but can be used as a major or minor distraction away from connection from either the chooser and or the observer.
Your words here Bianca sum up into one how this superiority has seeped into our life. But it has no place at all. We are all equal and equally beautiful in our path back to love.
Gosh we wear a lot of guards! This blog has made me ponder on all the different methods we use so as to not show the light and love we naturally are. There are many suits that we step into as a form of distraction away from the power we are – rather than being in our nakedness uninhibited and in the joy of who we are….like when we were kids.
A humbling and loving experience that confirms how tender and loving we all are in our oneness.
Hello Marcia Owen and I agree. It is great to look at both sides in this, as in the tattoo is the guard from one but ‘we’ buy into the guard by not connecting or seeing the person beyond the guard. The game of life almost, someone put’s out something and the other person reacts and does what the ‘put out’ say’s. But who’s fault is it, who’s to blame? We would usually look at who started it, so in this case we would go to the tattoo. But as we can see at any time we all have the power to put a ‘stop’ to this game of ‘keep away’ that goes on, and connect. We all have the responsibility and at any moment ‘we’ can change any situation with a simple connection and from that simple connection the whole game is turned on it’s head. Thank you Marcia.
It is very humbling every time I have an idea of who a stranger is, and then in the moment they speak, and share who they are, everything changes. It’s such a lesson in surrendering any judgments.
It shows just how much we are all the same and that we all offer an expression of wisdom.
When we are able to drop the judgement we may have on somebody, because of their outer appearance in this case, tattoos, it then sets the course to be able to do this with all others, and as we do, the blessing is two-fold.
Beautiful jacqmcfadden – Judgement is so very isolating – keeping us separate, different, distant from our fellow brothers. Until we drop the judgement not only do we miss out on truly connecting with others, but we also miss out on the reflection they offer us. I am constantly learning so much from those around me as I recognise similar qualities and behaviours to my own playing out in different situations.
I am aware that the way someone looks definitely influences the way I initially feel about someone but less now than before. I became aware of the fact that I made up all kind of stories about people in my mind just because I was afraid to let people in. My instinctive reaction was to reject them before they could reject me. Life has become so wonderful since I have opened my heart to everyone. Now and again I pull up the shield again but these days I can immediately feel what I and the people I meet are missing out on.
There is a deep hurt that I don’t feel the oneness in humanity. This hurt has been the reason why I have shied away from community and brotherhood. If I am not a part of it, it cannot hurt me if it disappears. It’s a very effective form of protection, but it ultimately makes me live separate and isolated from any deep human contact. The only way for us all to get back to feeling a oneness is to open up and let people in. In letting people in, the hurt is healed. Win win!
Jinya yes it’s about opening up and letting people in. It is about living in brotherhood and a true loving community. This way we can all start to feel a oneness.
It is so true Jinya that “the only way for us all to get back to feeling a oneness is to open up and let people in”. Letting people in is the ultimate form of protection as when we truly let people in we can but feel their divinity first and there is no judgement, just appreciation and the acceptance that they may not always choose to express from divinity – that is their choice and we are not hurt if we appreciate and accept where they are at.
I can really understand what you say here Jinya, and when confronted with self-mutilation, I can almost feel the pain that it seems to represent, especially body piercing. I would love to know why these ‘fashions’ have proliferated the way they have, for example, I don’t remember anyone in the nineteen fifties or early sixties with tattoos or body piercing, other than sailors with whom it appeared to be some sort of rite of passage. The period I’m referring to, was one of great austerity, when perhaps people were concerned more with putting some food into their stomachs than the frivolities of self- decoration and attention seeking via extreme forms of self-mutilation.
We may all look so very different on the outside but peel back our skin, tattoos and all, and we are exactly the same. To judge another is actually to judge ourselves, and how harming is that? For you to not go into judgment but to open your heart to this man was a hugely healing moment for both of you and I am sure that the experience of this beautiful connection that you shared Bianca, will stay with him for a long time to come..
“I could feel there was a tenderness within him that he kept hidden away and that his tattoos offered him a shield to keep people at a distance.” This sentence resonated strongly with me as I realised how often I can pre-judge people from their appearance. How you have expressed here is such a strong reminder to me to not judge by appearances. Thank you.
I worked on a few different construction sites over the years, mostly with men, tattoos and piercings what I found which was super sweet was that 9 times out 10 these big burly men were really so gentle and tender just ready to melt away that exterior that’s ever so thin, goes to show we all crave the one thing to be met and loved
That’s gorgeous Jaime; you really can’t judge anyone by their covers – even the biggest, ‘burliest’ men can be super sweet. Exteriors aren’t everything!
Internet dating is turned on its head by realising the way a person looks doesn’t define who they are.
I agree Jaime we all crave the one thing, to be met and loved. Even the most hardened criminals respond to being met and loved if we let them in, save a few unfortunate souls who have never been loved at all. These are the hardest to love but the ones who need our love most of all.
Having just spent 6 months working with a team on a building project, I totally get this. Such sweet, respectful, gentle and tender men presenting themselves in outer shells that scare most people off…
“it was nice to meet you”…I love the encounters with so called strangers, a moment of connection that feels eternal. This proves how connected we are to everyone if we allow it to be.
If we really embraced oneness our world would change overnight because we would suddenly see that we are all the same.
Yes Elizabeth we are all the same -one can feel that when conversation strikes up between oneself and a ‘stranger’. There is a core knowingness that we are one family and a love that would do exactly for them as for close kin (in the context of the situation of course).
As each person chooses to see themselves as an equal member of humanity, an example for all others is present, and so the oneness can develop on the planet.
This made me giggle and sit up straight, Elizabeth, it is that simple and it is within our reach right now and for everyone that does open up and embrace the connectivity and oneness we are, there is an invitation to another to do the same.
Bianca good on you for being so aware of outer judgements, dropping them and coming back into your heart so you could open to another person. Love does bring us back to knowing oneness…. and staying aware of oneness helps us come back to love.
So true Dianne – if we judge someone else we simply confirm their protection. If we stay open, its amazing how easily the walls of protection crumble and expose the sweet and tender person within us all.
Hear hear Dianne!
Hi Bianca, an interesting theme and I so agree with you and respect you for accepting your tattooed neighbour in the seat next to you and letting him in.
I would have done the same. If we can accept people for who they are and let them in as equals we can always find something good in them.
Something to deeply appreciate Nicholas, accepting people for who they are. I know for me there has been acceptance of people as they are but letting them in was not always as easy. And I realise also that I don’t have difficulty accepting people’s choices of religion, politics, outer appearance, etc. but I do have trouble accepting people who may be less than kind to me. I am learning though to not take this personally and understand that what they project to me is not about me but about them, so I can stay open and loving regardless.
That’s it isn’t it Katinka – back to not taking things personally – makes such a huge difference when we can do that and just accept that the other person is in some upheaval themselves.
Like you Katinka, I have trouble accepting people who are less kind to me, and one thing that upsets me most is lack of consideration. I am beginning to let this go and not take it personally anymore, but seeing it as a reflection that maybe I am not being considerate to myself, that way when something happens ‘to me’ I can look at it and ponder on what it may be showing me about my own behaviour.
Isn’t that great Sandrahenden. Whatever happens ‘to me’, I know it only does to reflect something to me. This is magic and it makes me feel safe and held.
Hi Katinka, You don’t need to let anyone in who is less than polite to you but it is great that you stay open and loving regardless.
Yes, Nicholas, nowadays I too would have done the same. But the memory of riding a journey like that in shut-down isolation is all too fresh and real – a great reminder of my responsibility and the power of choice.
Wow Bianca, your honesty and openness is amazing. Your blog shows how easy it is for us to judge others and therefore shut people out, it is a form of protection. When we let go of our protection we realise that everyone is the same, we are all alike in the sense that we are all made of the same configuration and particles. We are all equally loving and tender but how much we share that is governed by our choice to be open or to hide who we are.
We let the sight win, not what we feel first, ways before we look at things or people. It’s a condition we need to learn to reconfigure.
I seem to have many of these critical moments in my day when I have the choice to play out old patterns of being separate from every one else, and therefore pitched against in some way, OR melted into my connected-ness with all others and appreciative of the part I play in the whole. The latter is always the choice that confirms me and the true meaning of life.
“I could feel there was a tenderness within him that he kept hidden away and that his tattoos offered him a shield to keep people at a distance.” This sentence opened my eyes Bianca. I could feel that people with tattoos send out this message to keep a distance and I usually stayed in the distance and had like you described many reasons to react.
What a beautiful story you have shared to open yourself and feel one with this man in the airplane.
Janina what if we are all doing things to keep others out, yet the truth is the very last thing we want is to be disconnected to people? This shows not only how I take these surface differences and shut others out but that I have my own surface differences, issues or situations that I too use to distance myself. One big game where everyone loses. What a gift to be constantly reminded of the greatness and love we all equally are through the work of Serge Benhayon and the Hierarchy.
Well said David..
Janina what came to me whilst reading your comment was how pivotal it was that Bianca opened herself up to the man that she was sitting next to. We are doing this constantly with everyone. Energetically we are saying ‘no, I’m not letting you in’ or ‘yes, in you come’ which of course also means that we are also saying either ‘I’m not coming out’ or ‘here I come’. Roll on the day when we all collectively cheer ‘in you come and out I go’. Party time !
If we say “no” to another person and having judgement or what ever reasons the person feels this on a energetic level, even it is non verbal.
Well said, Janina! We find ourselves fooled by the look of others – we judge the book by its cover. No matter if we talk about tattoos, skincolour or style. The heart doesn’t know this difference. It only can feel love or not love.
The expansion in your heart is very beautiful Bianca. I too have recently experienced this at the Sacred Esoteric Healing Level 5 presented by Serge Benhayon. This expansion was for me a feeling of completely opening my heart, allowing people in as my family, it was a feeling of oneness with everything, everyone and with God. I know I can choose to connect to myself and with others in this way, having experienced this expansion clearly shows me how contracted I have previously been living. It is an amazing marker for me to return to knowing that I have connect to this openness and surrender once, I can do it again and again to experience and live true Brotherhood.
Chan it’s interesting when you say “allowing people in as my family”. I see many people in the world sad because they do not get on with their families, there is conflict, or they have broken off contact with their parents or siblings. And yet if we could realize that all people are our family, we would never have to be sad or alone – love is everywhere, if only we open to truly ‘letting people in’ and connecting to them.
True Diane, expanding the meaning of family to be inclusive and not exclusive is the way. This is being played out right now before our eyes. Europe, the world and each one of us is being challenged to open its doors and hearts to refugees and migrants, and see them as our brothers and sisters.
This is exquisite Bianca. It is so beautiful to read, staying open, allowing people in, to trust and to surrender is absolutely incredible way to be. To be completely yourself is all so natural, yet so many of us are too afraid to be just that. Very inspiring, to read that it is super important to have quality time with ourselves too, to connect to who we are.
Bianca, I love these stories whereby being open we can connect to people who in the normal course of our day we would never cross paths with. Like you, I love connecting to people I meet by ‘chance’ who “in the past I would have immediately judged his outer appearance” and only engaged with them if I felt comfortable. Now like you, when I encounter any stranger, I take advantage of the “opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like”. These experiences confirm without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.
This is so true Anne and Shirley-Ann, there are no chance meetings and no coincidences, just opportunities to learn and grow through just holding ourselves in Love without judgement. And this means with no judgement of ourselves as well as others.
Yes it is really beautiful, Bianca and Anne, to experience a deep connection with someone on a plane especially when it is something not expected, but just happens spontaneously. On my last plane flight home three of us sitting in a row had the most amazing conversation and connection together – a 50 year old Austrian cake-decorator going to a conference , a 42 year old construction worker with his own company, and me. We talked deeply about integrity, relationships between people at work, corruption in industry and many other interesting things. We just loved talking together and couldn’t believe it when we landed. the young construction worker said it was one of the best flights he’d ever had, and the quickest. We all hugged each other before we parted – the ever-lasting human family of love.
When we live with our heart open we can experience these connections all of the time whether that be in person, over the phone or via email. We are constantly communicating and expressing and the quality that we do this in determines our relationship with others whether we know them or not. After all we all do truly know each other because we all come from the same source.
I have had similar experiences talking with people I have just met and what you have shared here is a perfect example of how people regardless of what they do for a living and where they are from, all have the same experience of life and can connect to each other, without prejudice or judgement.
When I allow myself to be open with people, it always amazes me how my initial perceptions, from my old way of living, can be so ‘off’. I just love the way situations can gently unfold and the most gorgeous connections can be made and felt.
Anne I know what you mean. I am honoured and privileged to work with people in their own homes and value my job because it takes me to places I’ve never been to before and connects me with amazing people ordinarily I would not have met. For years I’ve known that, regardless of outer appearances, age, race, income, status, ability or disability, we come from a single source and as human beings we experience very similar life events and challenges. I am now living and witnessing this first hand and appreciating all that connects, not separates us.
Judging people diminishes people and life into the absolutes of good and bad. In the polarity, there’s no room for love or truth. There’s no space to see the bigger picture. I find that when I let go of judgments I am freeing myself of the ideals that have me locked up in this polarity and I am able to accept myself and others as much more than the outcomes of our choices.
Totally agree Jinya – when we choose to judge others we are essentially choosing to shut out the possibility of love, truth and connection – with ourselves and all around us.
Good point Jinya. Our judgements reveal more about us than they do about anyone else. I love your point ‘in the polarity, there’s no room for love or truth’. A poor exchange in my experience.
Such an important reminder that we all come from the same oneness, despite our skin colour, race, religion or talents. And if we judge another from their outer appearance or from what they do or earn, we can miss connecting to such beautiful qualities that exist within us all – tenderness, divine beauty, love, joy.
So beautifully expressed lorettarapp and I agree that when we judge a person from the outside we are in danger of missing out on a priceless opportunity to see the beauty that awaits on the inside, and we will be the poorer for it.
That’s so true! We also miss out on everything because I know if I’m in judgement of myself or anyone I am feeling pretty rubbish about the world, feeling like I need to protect myself from others and miss out on how tender and delicate and divine we all are.
You have mentioned the obvious things that can differentiate us, and then there is the tattoo’s, but we also use hair cuts, clothing, piercing.. even dentistry (!) to portray an image that can either be accepted or rejected. But deep down, we are all the same, all hardwired for connection and gorgeous on the inside.
Indeed, all gorgeous on the inside just waiting to open up and share ourselves openly with others and let others in too.
We look different, each and every person on the planet, but we all have blood, a heart, skin and so on. Our DNA tells us we are the same, but our eyes tell us we are different. This conundrum has fostered comparison for aeons, thankfully Universal Medicine is offering an understanding of true equality.
We need to learn to ‘see’ people from our hearts, then we recognise instantly that we are all the same.
Yes absolutely the biggest appreciation for Universal Medicine and how they are leading the way, breaking beliefs and these very old consciousness that we are different to each other. To be reminded that we are indeed all exactly the same, red blood and all. This immutable fact that we are all connected and this Oneness is un-avoidable.
I could use a permanent intravenous application of equality but for now the good old choice-making must do. Actually, it is the choice that brings back the empowerment of being equal and hold each other as equal brother, the choice to see equalness first and foremost.
Bianca I just re-read the title of your blog again ‘Oneness, a confirmation from within’ and immediately felt how different it is when we talk from our minds about other nationalities being the same as us. We often mean well when we say how other people are ‘just like us and we commonly say ‘they bleed the same colour blood’ but even this lacks the depth of knowing from the body that we are all the one interconnected mass of God and that there is actually nothing, as in no-thing that is not of God’s body.
A Beautiful response Alexis – the fact that someone may say ‘just like us’ exposes first that there must be the consideration of difference. I love the fact that absolutely everything and everyone is a reflection of what is within us all and that nothing is an accident but are letters of love from God. This Blog by Bianca encapsulates this perfectly.
Yes, ‘Just like us” a bit like the statement “Some of my best friends are black/gay/old/insert category here”. There’s already a separation inherent in both, and a presentation of a rationale.
Well said Alexis. It is true that physically we are all the same inside, and things such as culture, race, sex are all superficial trimmings. But the vastness of what oneness actually means is often minimised to this physical level. Oneness means there is no separation, that all that is held within the universe is constantly flowing through us.
I lived in Italy for about three months with an Italian lady who spoke NO English. I spoke VERY little Italian, however, it was amazing how effectively we could converse with each other and trust me when I say this had very little to do with my language skills! I found once I let go of the anxiety I felt at not really understanding the words, I just tried to sense what was being expressed to me. It’s amazing how much can be shared between two people who don’t speak the same language when there is an openness and desire to do so. The key is for us to want to connect with the other person.
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
This is beautiful and a great slice of humble pie!
This is beautiful and reminds me of the analogy of stardust…. That literally we are created from matter from this Earth, when we die our ashes dissolve back into the Earth, the same if we are buried. Each time one is born another body is created from the surrounding matter. So in effect we are all made of the same substance.
Yes we are. And it’s fascinating to then consider what it is then that makes us ‘same same but different’. I suspect it’s our soul, expressing our individual essence, together forming the whole, one soul.
I love this comment Abby – Stardust indeed for we are from the stars and it is to the stars we will return.
It is true Michelle to be in Brotherhood, humbleness is top of the list, without humbleness it is so easy to become judgemental. I know there have been times when I have made an assessment of someone and judged myself to be better than them in some way, and how ugly this feels now. To know we are all equal, is the first step towards brotherhood and to a harmonious way of living.
I feel the arrogance that comes with judgment is just another form of protection. This protection that I’ve used for much of my life is a very selfish way to live. I am not at risk from arrest or execution, there aren’t the same threats today that I may have felt lifetimes ago, so to hang on to the fear of what may happen is really just an excuse to hide.
I think there is hardly a person on this earth who does not judge others. The thing is to realise this and to don’t give it a go, but rather get aware where it comes from and to remember the oneness we are. To allow to feel the essence of the other and connect to that.
I can feel in my body Alisonmoir, the words in your last sentence and I repeat “To know we are all equal, is the first step towards brotherhood and to a harmonious way of living.” Such a reminder – thank you.
Humbleness is something which the church teaches but was living the opposite. So in my mind there was always a wrong picture. I thought I would need to keep me small in order to be humble. Actually humbleness is the opposite, I only can be humble when I am equal with each other. In this I feel harmony and joy.
I feel that to let go of judgement of others we have to let go of judgement of ourselves. If we can heal that one then Brotherhood is a given.
I loved this quote as well Michelle – We can’t deny what is here being asked of us, to simply surrender and be the Oneness that we are. This reminder of what is actually at play is massive because having this as our foundation means everything we do and say affects absolutely every single one of us including all matter in life. We can’t avoid this irrefutable fact. No more turning a blind eye and thinking no one can see, it is all felt. I Love this fact. Oneness is the All Encompassing Love that I have known yet not lived all of the time. When I connect to this it feels beyond amazing that I don’t want it any other way or anything less in my life.
Great point Natalie. Embracing our innate oneness would mean no more playing small, as though we don’t count, as I like to say we are all an equal part of humanity, not a fraction of it.
I agree, Sandrahenden, to let go of judgment, we must let go of the need we have for people to be a certain way, including ourselves. I felt a gorgeous drop in my body as I wrote this, like a sigh of relief.
I agree Michelle. If we can accept this and not dismiss it out of hand then there is a lot to consider in this simple statement.
I agree Michelle, and a great incentive to act in a caring a respectful way to other people – although it sounds common sense in practice it is often not the case, and yet who gains from it? The other person feels upset by the way they are treated and/or talked to and you are left missing out on what could have been an amazing connection.
I like the fact, that when I look into somebody’s eyes, he can see himself in my eyes and vice versa. We are reflections / mirrors to each other, that is just wonderful.
I use a training video segment on a course I present called ‘Unconscious Bias.’ It explores bias and prejudice and the reasons why we treat people differently because of who they are, how they look or speak. In it, Professor Richard Gregory a experimental psychologist uses the ‘“hollow face illusion”, where the hollow inside of a mask with concave features is seen to be a face with convex features, the brain refuses to see the mask as hollow because it is familiar with faces and considers the possibility highly unlikely’ (i). The professor concludes that the mind is wired to see things in a way it always has, even when it has evidence to the contrary. Knowing that we are particles and equal is not the same as living it. Our brain’s entrenched ways of ‘seeing’ people, based on attitudes formed very early on by family, education, social class, religions, culture, and media, blocks true connection because we perceive them to be different from ourselves. Breaking free of this separate and limited view of the world is true education and the primary goal of humanity.
(i) Daily Telegraph Obituary 25 May 2010
And of course, only with soul connection do we override the illusions of the brain.
When we remove all the rubbish we have collected during this life of all the judgments, beliefs, stereotypes and lies about others that we have taken as truths. All of this rubbish makes us look like a child’s sucker that was stuck to a blanket… all fluffy and furry with all of these beliefs of others clouding our view other others. How amazing is it to have the clarity to open every book and discover something new every time.
It is true that we know the theory of not judging a book by its cover but the practice of this falls short most of the time. Our eyes take in what we see, filter the information and make a judgment. Whereas when we feel and stay open, we can feel any outer false layers but also the beauty of the loveliness that is common to us all. Feeling the sharing of our particles immediately expands not only my perception but the way my body feels too. This feels like the truth of who we are.
Oneness is something that I have been craving since I was a young girl, I always had many friends from all sorts of different groups. No one was more and no one was less. Much later on in life I still have this as my core make up and it wasn’t until I was introduced to Serge Benhayon where this was confirmed and lived. I got to understand truly what the ultimate Oneness is about and have been embodying this further day by day. Letting go of any judgment, comparison and jealousy as all of those interfere and has the opposite effect of what it is that I am naturally from and designed to be.
To uncover the tenderness that lies within each and every person is akin to discovering the most precious jewel on the planet.
As love is nothing personalized it can be chosen by everyone as an expression. And when we meet someone who is just as oneself choosing love as the energy to live upon, there is an openness from the heart immediately connecting us. That’s when we feel oneness and have a chance to connect no matter what age, race, gender or outlook we might have or meet.
It is interesting how we have formed a view of the world and those in it from our experiences and also by what we have been told or what we have read and also by how people have been stereotyped in movies and the media. When we put that aside and challenge it, we find that we are more similar than different and all our shields to keep the world out because of our hurts, are just that, something we have put on, not something that is actually a part of us at all.
The minute I feel myself judging another person I know I have to bring it back to me because I have judged myself first or gone into comparison, comparing the person to some picture or benchmark I have created in my mind. I feel I am fairly open and real with people and on my travels meet a lot of people from all walks of life. I connect first with the authentic person underneath the roiled up body, tattoo cover body, scabbed up drug affected body with no judgment just awareness. I love connecting with these people and feeling their essence they are no different to everyone else. I actually find it more difficult to connect with some academics than the everyday person because I go into some sort of protection around them and judge myself as less. Sounds like I got work to do.
I love your comment Margaret and feel the true joy of simply meeting and connecting with others. As you say, in our essence we are not different to anyone else and it is our own judgements that create that separation. I see I have work to do too!!
I loved reading, ‘I kept confirming that we were both the same and it felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from.’ This is a true science. There is no luck involved. This is something we can rely on and trust.
I agree Karin, true science, the truth of which we can all feel.
I had a very beautiful experience last night, where I gave myself permission to be me and allowed the love I felt for someone to just be, with no expectations. Instead of the protection that had been there previously, creating a tension, a hardness, it felt so amazing, as though we were both swimming together, no tension, both equally held and suspended in a sea of love. I found myself freely talking about things that would previously have caused the other person to shut down and react. It was magical and so simple. Our particles were humming together in harmony.
“I took a moment to appreciate that by being connected to myself, I was able to be open and the real me with him”, and also how beautiful that with your openness he felt he could be open and have that connection with you as well Bianca
When we see ourselves as all part of the one divine whole, there can be no judgment as divinity is equal within us all. If I find myself in judgment now I get myself to stop and actually feel what I am reacting to. I am discovering more and more that judgment for me can be a ‘go to’ reaction for something that I am deeply feeling. Instead of jumping to the reaction and harshness, I allow myself to truly observe and feel. This allows that person to be free in their choices, and me in mine. It allows me to not hold onto or carry protection about how the world is, or the harming choices that are being made by those around me.
Beautiful Amelia, I too can relate to this. I have struggled all of my life with what I feel when I truly, deeply feel all that goes on around me. By reacting I created a whirlwind of something else to take the edge off of that which I was feeling in the first place, but in that I ended up creating a mess for myself, another distraction. However I have learnt that all that I felt did not go away, it just got buried beneath the layers I put on top. I am learning that to allow myself to truly feel what’s going on is a much more loving and supportive choice than any other avoidance technique I’ve used before.
Beautiful Bianca, I loved reading this. We so often let judgement, due to ideals and beliefs we carry, cause a sense of separation or that ‘us and them’ feeling. This is simply an illusion that is not true at all. We carry hurts and we respond in different ways to this but never can we leave the oneness we are from, just make it seem like we are. It makes so much more sense to surrender to the truth we all know and live from that until one day the fact that we are one becomes glaringly obvious.
I love reading this blog. It so captures the truth of brotherhood and how we are all one and the same even if we live in different bodies and have made different choices. There is so much love and beauty to be shared between us.
This blog shows that judgment towards another is a killer for a true heartfelt connection. In each meeting with another we have an opportunity to meet ourselves, whether it is a tender heart meeting another tender heart or a shield meeting another protective layer. Let people in, everyone, that is what I take from this blog.
Absolutely Caroline Reineke, let people in, they can’t truly hurt us, only our lack of self love, appreciation and understanding can hurt us, as in doing that, we are denying the very thing we are. Love.
Yes, well said Caroline…’let people in, everyone…’
What a lovely reflection of brotherhood Bianca. To hold all equally in love without judgement is the key to our evolution.
I love how you allowed yourself to look beyond the surface Bianca and remained connected to yourself not choosing to stay with the initial fear to contract, but rather to feel your inner connection that so natural encompasses those around us.
Bianca, the openenss in you, which was supported by the books of Serge Benhayon, is deeply felt. I also love to read in his books and experience how in reading them makes me more aware and open as well.
Yes, that tender openness is clearly felt and so beautiful.
Bianca, this is very very sweet. The sweetness of two people connecting from themselves, feeling safe that they can be open…safe because there is no judgement, or comparison but an acceptance of the fact that beyond the ‘cover of the book’ there is more, our depth, our sweetness, our warmth, who we are!
Judgement only serves to embed and confirm our own ill-concieved perception of the world, and thus it is the padlock on the door to our own prison.
Awesome picture you paint, Adam, for what it is: something we do to lock ourselves in whilst keeping others on the outside.
In equal-ness we can drop the need for others to be something they are not and also the need to be seen or met for who we are. In equality we know ourselves to be equal to all and that the Kingdom of God lives inside each and everyone of us. Equality eliminates comparison, jealousy and competition with a harmony in knowing we all breathe the breath of God and have unique ways of expressing this on earth.
Great comment Rachael. Comparison, jealousy and competition are certainly evils that really hurt, hurt because we are leaving the truth of our equality and oneness.
Great to read your article Bianca, I can relate to what you have written here about Serge Benhayons books, that they ‘have supported me to become more open and real with people.’ I have noticed this from attending Universal Medicine courses that I am much more open with people, less judgmental and enjoy people so much more.
I agree Rebecca, the teachings of Serge Benhayon have brought to light that allowing and letting people is the foundation of living a joyful life.
When we see and accept others for who they are and the choices they choose to make – we too accept our own. It feels so freeing to read your experience Bianca as you were not bound by the ideals or beliefs that could have easily imprisoned your approach to this man. You let them go, with full knowing that those thoughts are there but is still up to us to choose. Instead we can choose openness and see what the lesson or message is from God.
I met a tattooist the other week (who was not covered in tattoos) through an acquaintance who had already ‘seen through’ the tattooist’s front. He was such a softie and was actually someone with not a lot of self confidence … it was like he had developed a ‘macho’ persona to get through life, yet he was a very gentle man. It seems that mature-age bikies can also be the same way, developing a man’s man image because their true tenderness has not been honoured or supported by society. I can really relate to the sentence: “I could feel there was a tenderness within him that he kept hidden away and that his tattoos offered him a shield to keep people at a distance.”
Reading this blog and the comments thereafter is the perfect way to start this new working week and to go and ‘blast’ – lovingly of course – my work colleagues with the heightened awareness of the oneness we all share. Awesome.
What a beautiful experience Bianca, thank you for sharing it here. As the blog concluded I felt this strong sense that this man had used tattoos to outwardly manifest the deep need he felt to protect himself against the world – creating a shield as you say. How many of us do this, viewing the world and our fellow human beings as hostile – when in truth they are just like us? I know I do!
In some ways curiosity can allow us to open to another person without the judgement but just a way to bring more understanding and acceptance of others. Your curiosity offered you an opportunity for you to connect with someone Bianca that you might not have otherwise come to have a really lovely moment with.
I find this to be true Elizabeth, for most of my life I was a person who would have an already made up mind about things and wanted to have it all controlled as I deemed it ‘ought to be’ – I would get super judgmental if anyone behaved contra to what I thought was the ‘right way’. Now I know there is a huge difference between the two energies that run (a) a ‘drive to control’ and ‘judgmental if anyone goes against that’ (b) openness, understanding and acceptance. How lovely it is to be interested and curious instead of closing off with a judgment.
I love reading about how we all share the same particles. It makes a nonsense of any form of discrimination in the world. Thankyou for sharing Bianca.
If we are all sharing the same particles then to discriminate against another means first discriminating against oneself, to be fearful or segregate another means to be fearful or segregate oneself. As you say Sueq2012, the way many act makes no sense at all and the fact we share the same particles wipes out all forms of discrimination worldwide.
I love that too Sueq2012, we all share the same particles and those particles belong to God, I don’t know anything that’s better than feeling and knowing this as my Truth.
Bianca, this blog is inspiring. I have most certainly hardened my body and gone into protection when I have been around another covered in tattoos. I have felt threatened and instead of allowing myself to feel, I would have ran a mile. This blog has certainly got me to observe myself more deeply the next time I come across another heavily covered in tatoos.
What a beautiful sharing Bianca, I can feel the sacredness and love of the moment you shared with a stranger, who does not feel like a stranger because you were open to feel his essence which is exactly the same as yours.
Beautiful Katinka, we are only strangers when we meet each other from the surface, from the ‘cover of the book’…but when we open the pages of the book, within we are all the same, love.
I was working at the airport where hundreds of people were passing and I was face to face with a lot of our customers. All of these people felt like family and I really enjoyed meeting them and loving them. No different than loving my children, family and friends. How rich are we and never alone when we allow ourselves to connect and feel we are all Sons of the same God.
Judging others feels to me a bit like what throwing Christians to the lions used to be, a way to entertain ourselves and not deal with our own hurts. The more we deal with our own hurts, the less we judge others and ourselves.
Absolutely Elizabeth. The more I let go of my hurts and in doing so let go of the protection, the more open and loving I am with myself and others. I have much more of an understanding and accepting of an another rather than be hard and judgmental.
Ouch! Very accurate Elizabeth – judging others does indeed have similarities to that because the concept is the same; laugh and seek entertainment at the expense of others and their dignity. If you really feel just how sinister judgement can be, it is quite horrendous and diminishing. Similarly jealousy and comparison are very evil in their separation, being the antithesis of brotherhood and oneness.
Great point Elizabeth Dolan – casting judgment onto others is a venomous distraction to not feel the tension we are in. Judgment is also a marker for me to alert that I am not in my body or present with what I am doing – once I allow space to clock this whatever needs to be felt is there and can dissolve with awareness.
Well said Elizabeth, about judgement. Judgement destroys human connections, even our connection to ourselves…and very true ‘..we deal with our own hurts, the less we judge….”
Very true Elizabeth, when we start to honestly observe ourselves, we will see that all that is difficult in our lives is created by ourselves. Therefor there is no sense in judging other or ourselves, but what will work is simply choosing to live differently. Living in a way that does support us and by that everyone else.
This is a brilliant comment Elizabeth, very true. To me judgement is a form of protection so it makes sense that if we are deeply hurt or are choosing to carry our hurts then we start to build layers of protection to keep people out, so we don’t feel hurt again. By judging others, it keeps them at a distance, it simply doesn’t allow people to connect. In truth, this form of protection hurts us more than the potential hurt that someone else can inflict upon us. If we are completely open and fully connected to who we are (our essence), it is extremely difficult to be hurt by other person. When we are deeply connected to our essence we can clearly see that the people who are deeply hurt are simply protecting themselves, therefore their ill behaviours are a form of protection, to push you away. They are simply firing all forms of protection before you can get too close them. If we allow ourselves to see past their choice for protection, inside they are exactly the same as us, exquisite, tender, loving and beautiful. Protection is an invisible wall that keeps us all separate.
Very good point Elizabeth Dolan. What is underneath our desire to entertain ourselves – a desire which is hugely prevalent in our world today? I think you have hit the nail on the head here!
This connection started with your willingness to explore why you were sitting next to someone who was tattooed from neck to toe rather than pull back from the experience and what it was going to teach you – thank you for the insights gained and shared.
This is such a great point you highlight Gabriele, ‘the willingness to explore why we find ourselves where we are at, rather than pull away.’ This is the point for us to open our hearts to connect to the person and situation.
It’s so true that when we meet people in equalness with the love that we are, they almost always respond with the same warmth. It is like a light goes on in their heart, lighting up their whole face with the recognition of a fellow brother. Truly gorgeous, and thank you Universal Medicine for showing the way.
This is so true Jo. I attended a Women’s forum in London yesterday and while on the train coming home I fell asleep. The ticket collector as passing allowed me to carry on sleeping and didn’t wake me. I woke up, could see him further down the carriage and called him over to check my ticket. I thanked him for not waking me and he responded “You looked like sleeping beauty!.” It was a magical moment.
Oh that’s so gorgeous Caroline – and in the beautiful space you were in after the women’s forum you would have looked like sleeping beauty! Blessing all around you and acknowledged by the ticket collector 🙂
This is such a lovely expression Jo and I feel that light shining through here, It is totally true and I am with you here – thank you Universal Medicine for showing the way, it is brightly lit!
We all crave to be met on a soul level as Bianca has shown us yet we put out a false image of ourselves based on protection.
So perhaps the turbulence in the plane that triggered the conversation was the catalyst for a true opening for the tattooed man who met an other human being on a very different level.
Bianca, this is such a significant sharing – thank you. I love how beautifully you describe the enormous difference it is to put all judgments or expectations aside to just meet someone and truly letting them in without any kind of filter to ‘protect’ yourself as opposed to the hardness and separativeness we put out when we have any sort of judgment. Oneness indeed.
I wonder if the tattooed guy on the plane had ever before experienced someone meeting him with oneness instead of judgment.
Simply gorgeous Bianca – I often feel this way when I have to deal with demanding or upset customers – the more connected to myself in that moment they too can melt and we can just be ourselves in the Oneness.
Thank you Bianca for a great blog. By having ideals and beliefs with how someone should look on the outside we form constructs as to what type of person they are and whether or not they are acceptable to us. This way feels very complicated with so much calculation for just meeting new people. If we have the understanding that we are all equal and one of the same then we will naturally be open and loving to all. So much simpler.
Esoteric Healing and the teachings of Universal Medicine have supported me to develop a connection with myself and a greater ability to let people in. When I truly meet anyone in a loving and equal way I feel 99% people respond with the same warmth. The world would be a different place if we all lived from here.
I agree Danielle, when I meet people with love and affection that what I receive in return… and so I open up and love people even more and so it keeps going.
Absolutely susanG, truly meeting a person in a loving way for who they are inspires them to do the same.
Whenever I connect with someone in this way I realise it is the connection that is super important and comes first, the topic we talk about takes second place.
Yes Jane, connection comes first for me when I’m with people, there is a magic that happens in the most simplest of ways, we meet another beyond the cover, and we are no longer strangers, but known. In this place, how can we hurt each other, why would we want too. We could live in a world of making it about connection rather that judging a book by its cover. It would bring humanity so much closer together.
I am deeply touched by your sharing Bianca. When we do connect to the oneness that we are all a part of, we can see that it is simply does not make sense to judge or shut down to another. As we are only essentially doing this to ourselves first, separating from the oneness that we all naturally are a part of. And in doing so miss that opportunity to evolve, deepen and confirm our sense of oneness within and with each other.
Yes definitely Carola. Judgement is the easiest, most effective way to shut off from brotherhood and allow in separation. Why would we ever judge someone if we truly understood that they are just the same as us, and have simply chosen differently resulting in the state of their body and where they are today?
Such a simple and lovely story. It reminds me of something I learned at a Universal Medicine workshop: The world is full of people who just want to connect with each other – but everyone is to afraid to be the first one to open up and make the first move. So we all end up just keeping ourselves that little bit apart. If we are prepared to be the first ones to offer our openness – we give others permission to do the same and it changes the entire way we relate to each other as human beings.
Simple and Beautiful.
Being open and letting people in is a glorious loving feeling which connects us all that we come into contact with. This way of living does not leave anyone out. I agree Simon, simple and beautiful.
I have had plenty of experience of that moment where it is possible to connect with someone but it requires one to make the first move and open up the conversation. On reflection some of my most fun and open conversations have been with people I have only just met. Every meeting is an opportunity to learn and understand others more and this is a choice we always have available to us, to let others in or not.
True Stephen, the moment we step back and wait for another to make the first move, we have separated and judged.
So true Simon what you say that if we are prepared to be the first ones to offer our openness then we give others permission to do the same. I do my best to keep my heart open to anyone and everyone and always stick my understanding hat on which means “no need to judge Bina, you don’t know where they are coming from, what choices they have made, how their past was”.
This open-ness guarantees I do not have a hard chest and my breathing is not restricted because I have not kept away a tiny bit. I am there in full, in your face beaming and strutting my stuff and I really don’t care who it is as I feel we are ALL one and the same.
I have my own style which never changes no matter who it is and this came 5 years ago from a Serge Benhayon one day workshop where he talked about giving ourself permission just to be the “real you”. Well I did and the freedom I felt inside my body just from this simple permission business is ground breaking.
And there is always a more deeper level of love and openness we can go to. I have seen that I stay at a plateau ‘thinking’ I am open when in fact there is a whole other side of Love I am missing out on because I haven’t been prepared to go truly deeper with both myself and others. Time to stop skimming the surface!
That is a stunning approach to life Simon and a cute thing to remember. I have found this to be true. As a society we often blame each other for being ‘disconnected’ but if you start opening up there are few people in this world that will reject or say no to this, as it feel loverly to relate in this way.
Thank you Bianca. We are indeed all the same on the inside, everyone one of us wants to be loved, to belong and not to be judged.
You nailed it Elizabeth.
Elizabeth I love the simplicity of this – and it is so true, everyone of us are the same on the inside and we don’t naturally come with a long list of needs, just the innate longing to be part of the Brotherhood that we all know so well and long to return to.
This blog was exactly what I needed to read thank you Bianca. What resonated with me was not so the tattoos and how common they are now, and to watch all my friends I used to hang with go crazy with them not long after the year 2000, but was how that man constellated to meet you. Presently for me wherever I look and people I meet it’s asking me from the reflection to go deeper with something. It’s remarkable to note that it’s not the ‘one person with tattoos’ – it’s everyone. I cannot escape what I have to do or just avoid that ‘one person’. It’s beautiful to have this opportunity and reflection constantly until I let go of that issue and to appreciate more of me. I only have one thing to focus on – this takes away being busy in the mind and stressed with life, and brings my responsibility back to me and what is true.
I agree Rik, thank you. I notice that there are certain people I tend to avoid, subtly. To truly evolve it’s important to let everybody in – equally, and then deal with whatever that may bring up for us.
Beautifully put Rik. It’s about everyone and being open with everyone. If/when I find myself not as open with someone then it is a great opportunity to look deeper as to why I have gone into protection; an opportunity to reveal the hurt that is keeping me closed down and to clear it.
Bianca this is gorgeous. Through your lovely openness you gave someone equally as lovely to express in the same way. I can feel the expansion this meeting held for the two of you and this opens me up more too. Thank you.
Yes there is a real openness and expansive feeling in this blog that is there for us all. Thank you for this comment michelle819 – it brings forth in me even more appreciation for what is presented here and on this site ‘Words on Serge Benhayon.’
I agree Michelle, just reading about this beautiful openness that Bianca shared I can feel myself open up more too, letting go of more subtle ways judgement can creep in.
What I love about this blog is that it confirms that when we open up to another and allow ourselves to be vulnerable in this, the connection made is warm and gorgeous. I had two lovely encounters with strangers today where I simply opened up to communication and allowed myself to be vulnerable. What this did in each instance was to melt the people I was talking to and there was a joy in this as I was melted in my turn by them. I simply love people – it beats me why I don’t do this consistently!!!
What a genuine and beautifully natural connection you experienced with your decorated friend, Bianca. Moving away from a potentially threatening and judgemental situation to contemplating the particles of each you, and their interrelatedness, is quite a quantum leap to make! How lovely that you experienced each other’s tenderness as result.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful story about openness and about letting people in. Very touching. But at the same time very natural. In essence we ARE all open and accepting of others, it’s just that we may have lost it on the way. It’s a matter of connecting back to who we truly are, like you did, then the lovely naturalness and openness toward people comes back as if the connection was always there.
A true point Nathaliesterk, and talking of the connection in this way clearly shows us that it is always there we just have ideals and beliefs that get in the way of such a connection being normal.
Nathaliesterk you have shared a key word which I love, “….very natural” Yes it is very natural and we’ve all felt this when we are open and connect with another!
I think bottom line, if we keep holding onto judgements we will never understand each other and never truly grow and evolve as people.
I agree Dean, and if we continue to judge ourselves, we can never not judge others.
I am beginning to understand that in order for me to stop judging people, I need to let go of my need for them to be a certain way. I am only just becoming aware of how deeply entrenched this has been for me. Much to work on here.
Well said Alison – judgement is almost like a form of control, wanting or believing people should be a certain way rather than seeing and accepting people for who they really are.
This is so very important, Rebecca. I know that I am my biggest target for judgement, and that any judgement that I lay upon another has started as a judgement of myself first. Therefore, to address the harm I am doing to others by judging them, I must address how I am harming myself through holding myself to expectations and ideals that are unachievable, and then judging myself for not reaching them.
There is a vital key to this: self-acceptance!
I agree Naren – our expectations of ourselves can be crippling, stripping the enjoyment of life away by thinking it has to look a certain way. I know, for example, that I can have a productive day and yet feel like I have not accomplished enough because I am judging my work based on an expectation. As you say, self-acceptance is the only remedy.
Very true Rebecca..
Oh yeah, the unreasonable or unachievable expectation followed by the judgement that comes from not meeting the expectation, been there many times!
By holding onto the judgement of others we are holding onto the attachments or expectations of the way people should be restricting ourselves to connecting with everyone.
Annebroadbent58 this is so true how much doe we need from others that we are not willing to give to ourselves? And then when they do not give it to us when and how we need them to we judge them and have another reason to not let people in.
Love what you have all shared here. It’s so true, I know I have always had very high expectations of myself, there has been a harshness to the way I judge myself and (I am feeling myself cringe as I write this), I then hold others ransom to these same expectations. Yuk. Self appreciation, self appreciation, self appreciation ….
Yep, nailed it Dean. And who wants to live like that?
Exactly, we don´t want to live permanently in the judgement as it separates us from our natural way of being, it is such a restriction, but we all know the innocence of being full and not needing anyone to be anything for us, that innocence of a child that lets people be, and is fresh in every meeting with everybody.
Agree Sara! Every connection we have with people is an opportunity to let go and just be, allowing them to be where they are, without judgements.
hear hear Dean, and as much as we think that we have let go of it there is some old ingrained beliefs that keeps holding onto the judgement. If we didn’t go into comparison then there would be no need for judgement – it is like we go into the judgement to make ourselves feel better because we are not content within ourselves.
True Dean, starting too look behind judgements coming from us or others and allowing to feel where they come from which is mostly a once experienced hurts – allows us to heal them and make the way free for coming together again as equal.
It comes also back to that classic quote by Serge Benhayon, doesn’t it to “observe and not absorb”. The more we allow ourselves to sit back and watch a situation without getting too involved or invested in what we are seeing, the more we see it for what it really is and therefore understand it far more clearly.
Simple and true Dean, thank you.
You are so right Dean this is the bottom line. There is something about the word “understanding” that hits a chord for me. If we choose to develop understanding about ourselves this will automatically give us the ability to understand others and therefore support us to not judge and if we do, we can bring an understanding as to why because it really does come down to choice.
As a race of beings if we are to evolve then judgements have to go and its like a game and no one actually wins.
Yeah Bina, I agree it is so worth spending the time to really get to know and understand ourselves – to go deeper than our judgements and how we think we are supposed to be.
Once we can get a grasp on what really makes us tick and why we have done things in a certain not-so-good way in life, we then truly start to transform and live and that magic word “understanding” begins to have a miraculous healing effect on one and all.
Absolutely Dean, and it begins with letting go of judgement of ourselves, as it is only in truly loving and understanding ourselves can we extend that to another.
Yes Rosemary, it highlights just how so very important having a healthy relationship with ourselves and our level of esteem is.
Whenever I am aware that I am judging another, I have noticed that quite often it is because I am judging myself. The more I develop an openness and acceptance in the relationship with myself, the more I share these qualities in my relationships with others. Thank you for sharing your wisdom here Bianca.
I have found this too Simone but lately even more so I realise that I used judgement as a form of protection, as if I did not trust myself to be able to deal with whatever the other person was inuring or living that was not from their essence. For a long time what I did was say no to people instead of only to the energy that they use to protect themselves. Now I realise that instead of saying no to something I can say yes to all the beauty that I can feel in them first and foremost.
Carolien that is such a freeing way of being to know that everybody is an equal Son of God but that at times we allow an energy that is not us to come through us. What tends to happen is that we get completely stuck in the perception that it is the person that we do not like or that is making life difficult for us. When we have it in our minds that we have a problem with a person rather than have it in our bodies that they are our Brother then it keeps the situation perpetuating and often in stale mate. Stale being the key word !
I totally agree, Carolien and Simone. I’ve noticed that when there is an opportunity for me to step up and claim myself, I can lack the confidence in myself to embrace it. Instead, I may go into protection first and judge others for not stepping in. I’m actually using that as a distraction to avoid having to choose to bring more light, or not.
Yes I definitely recognise that I use judgement as a form of protection to not feel what I see reflected to me that I haven’t fully resolved. It is here that I struggle to see beyond what isn’t from a person’s essence. I want to avoid being shown there is more work to be done.
Conversely I could feel how lovely a person was and so accepted all that wasn’t loving too. But choosing to come from my essence and dealing with my hurts allows me to see the bigger picture and say yes to them and no to what’s not love.
Yes, I agree Simone and Carolien, I have realised this too of late. In recent experience I was always feeling judged by a particular person. When I read what was going on, I realised that it was easier for them to judge me because then they didn’t have to let me in, it was a means of protection for them. With that understanding, it became much easier to accept the judgement that was coming towards me. It also led me to focus on appreciating myself more and let go of judgements that I was having on myself.
Alexis I was struck by the sentence ‘the person we do not like or is making life difficult for us’ how easily can we blame another for our own creations and how easily do we resent the reflections being offered to us.
Beautiful Carolien, very well said.
That’s great, Carolien, to clarify that saying no just to the energy that someone uses to ‘protect’ themselves allows the possibility of still truly connecting with them and not ‘buying into’ the other story. It can sidestep the behaviour that a person usually expresses and allow a meaningful conversation, much more satisfying all round.
Gorgeous Carolien, so beautiful that you have been able to depersonalise the way people are at times and see beyond to the essence that eternally lays within. We never have to reject the person, just say no to the behaviour if it is anyway harming.
Such valuable comments have been generated from your posts Carolien and Simone. And I too am another that has used judgments as a form of protection. A way to keep others at bay so I don’t have to feel their true essence, and in turn have more connection. Which all seems a bit crazy once we feel how good it is to be all that we are see that greatness in another.
So simple isn’t it! Are we feeling and connecting with the person or their behaviour? In essence, we are all love so there is nothing to protect from. The behaviour is not them anyway so if we do not engage with it, or allow it to sway us it has nowhere to go and then, we have nothing to protect ourselves from.
It is rare to look at the reflection a dislike of another offers us but it is true that the dislike is a confirmation of our own choices and energetic configuration. Rather than say I don’t like that guy I can now say, why am I feeling so strongly about this, what lies underneath the feelings I haven’t dealt with.
This is very true, Carolien. Being able to clock when someone is not speaking or acting themselves, and therefore are letting something else come through them (be that an old hurt, or anything like that) allows us to still see them as the person they are, instead of reacting to what they are saying or getting angry with them, etc. This does not mean that people are not responsible for what they say, but the judgement simply is not there.
I also realised that my judgment can come from an ideal or belief of what I want another or a situation to be. If it does not match up I feel ‘threatened’ as I know deep within my ideal will potentially get me hurt. The other day I spontaneously expressed my love for my partner in a way I had never done and I realised I kept my love back because i could feel his protection. Then in no longer holding it back I could feel the love within me and from that I felt very strongly that what another does or chooses is not what hurts me most, it is me holding back all that I am.
That is a gem right there, we judge others because first we judge ourselves! It all comes back to us. So what would it be like if we loved and accepted ourselves completely and deeply?
That is a gem Vicky, we would never feel the need to judge another.
When we are reacting to something, it’s showing us that there is something in us that we are reacting to that we have not yet resolved. It’s so much easier to blame someone else and to choose not to take responsibility, but then we’re choosing again, not to bring resolution. Instead, if we look at the situation as an opportunity to grow, to step up, what a healing that would be. A true gift for all involved.
It would be something very special Vicky.
Great realisation Simone: “Whenever I am aware that I am judging another, I have noticed that quite often it is because I am judging myself.” It really comes down to comparison then doesn’t it, as we have to apply a certain measure to judge another as well as ourselves. And comparison doesn’t get us anywhere at all.
Well said Simone and a great point. I also only find myself judging another when something is going on for me and I am not feeling great. The more I allow myself to feel my body and how it is the more attuned to it I become and so the less reactive and judgmental I am towards others. After all none of us are perfect and all have a lot to learn and naturally so we are all at different places. So instead of being jealous or judging others I now can observe others and learn from them and what they are doing.
That’s true James. What has been amazing for me has been to appreciate myself and what I bring, then also appreciating others in the same way. I enjoy my relationships with others and the reflections they provide as opportunities for learning.
I really love how the freedom of life without judgement can lead to the most exceptional of situations.
Very true Shami. When we let go of the judgments we become a magnet for amazing meetings and opportunities.
Yes Jinya and Shami, what struck me was the openness that was there in Bianca when she chose to not make judgements. I feel the openness that is the invitation to these amazing meetings and opportunities.
Agreed Shami and conversely how when we remain judgmental and idiocentric then life stays very limited. Life responds to us, it literally reflects ourselves back to us.
So true Shami, it is what makes life magical and fun. I love how Bianca could immediately feel her body open up again when she recognised that she was hardening up and being judgemental. What a blessing we bring to one another when we decide to let go of judgement and be inquisitive instead, it brings such an innocent, sweet and playful quality to any interaction.
This is so true Rowenakstewart, ‘What a blessing we bring to one another when we decide to let go of judgement and be inquisitive instead, it brings such an innocent, sweet and playful quality to any interaction.’ If I am judgmental of someone then I can feel that my body becomes rigid and there is no connection between myself and the person I am with, whereas if let go of this judgement and am inquisitive my body feels relaxed and open and I can feel a connection, joy and understanding with the person that I am with – very different experiences.
This is great Shami and something to practice on a regular basis, the word freedom really sticks out here as being free of judgment is a revelation in itself.
We stop seeing people as they “ought to be” – then we can see just how lovely they truly are. The tattoos are just the merest layer less than a millimetre thick, over the surface of a person who is doing their best in life.
I love the very real magic that happens when we see the beauty that is right in front of our eyes – whatever package it is presented in.
Thank you Dr Rachel Mascord BDS, that was so beautiful expressed.
That is beautifully said, Shami!
Simply beautiful Bianca, thank you, a gorgeous reminder to not judge a book by it’s cover, or tattoo or hair style etc…
Great blog Bianca and what a subject to talk about. I got my first full on judgements cleared out when I started working inside a prison and tattoos just happen to be the norm as does shouting, swearing and smoking. What is incredible really is that with hundreds of testimonials from our inmates, there was a thread running through them which said “she does not judge”.
I reckon it got knocked out of me and I developed an understanding and this is what has helped me enormously with my work and my life. However, I am human and I am not perfect but I am now so aware of judgements that I catch myself or I will cut a conversation and bring understanding where someone is full on judging another. My take is “you don’t know their past, you don’t know all the choices they made, you don’t know why they are like they are, so come on, have understanding and stop judging”. Its no different to what I would say to myself.
The fact is I couldn’t do the work I do if I was judging as it just would not work and as you say Bianca my body would feel the hardness from the judgement. A powerfull insight Bianca – thank you so much.
Bina, thank you for sharing your observation of judgment and the examples to do with your work. What a gift to people who are in a system that fundamentally judges and treats them as the label “criminal’ because they made a choice to act in that way, but you are able to go past that and see who they are deep down, which allows them perhaps for the first time in a long while to see that side of themselves too. We are such powerful reflections for one another, and when we sense someone is seeing and responding to a deeper version within us that perhaps we are not even aware of it is a real blessing. I know this because even living a life that is generally considered ‘normal’, having such experience from many people at Universal Medicine, particularly from Serge Benhayon, has had a profound impact on my life.
It took me actually a long time to find a connection to Serge’s books. But recently, especially his latest book “time, space and all of us”, I really enjoy reading it, I feel the amazing energy within the book and the book reminds me of my power within. That is just wonderful.
I did ponder on this and found it interesting that we found so many ways to cover ourselves, to hide behind masks of niceness, strength or hardness or what ever – but are all longing for a open meeting, longing for being seen, longing for a true connection. We are longing for it – but do not act in a way to support it…the other should start, then I would trust and let go of my shields and so on. But if everyone waits for the other to start – nothing will change, what we are longing for will not happen. You brought the openness in the relationship Bianca and got the benefit of this act of love. Thank you for sharing this.
Beautiful sharing of oneness, Bianca, I really enjoyed reading about your encounter in the airplane. I always love meeting people one would never really get to talk to in life, when ending up sitting next to them, and I always enjoy finding out about a different way of living, but at the same time finding the common ground, which is inevitably there as well.
Our view of the world is always tainted by our perceptions of what might hurt us.
What a beautiful meeting Bianca, for both of you. ‘Judging a book by its cover’ doesn’t allow us to see the amazing qualities in each other and as you felt Bianca so clearly, how our bodies become hard and literally show when we close down from another. Such a powerful reminder, thank you.
Love it Bianca, no matter how we appear on the outside we are all the same on the inside and this story is a beautiful confirmation of the oneness and connection that is possible for us all.
What I love about this story Bianca, apart from the oneness you felt with this man, was the amazing constellation that brought you two together to sit next to each other on the plane. You were presented with an opportunity to be open and learn and you accepted it, as did he, rather than just sitting next to each other in silence. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank-you for sharing this Bianca, very beautiful when we allow ourselves to drop any pre conceived thoughts and let another in, in full.
Powerful blog Bianca. It occurred to me only this morning that (as I had previously been so ‘stuck’ in a pattern of feeling less than and victimised in a ‘poor me’ ‘it’s harder for me’ mentality!) that it would be felt as equally as hurtful for the person who is judged by the tattooed guy as being a ‘snob’ or ‘pompous’ etc. I feel (although my body isn’t covered in tattoos – that I have related, or, rather identified myself with the ‘under-dog’ or the ‘hard-done by’ person, such as, perhaps, the guy covered in tattoos).
Now I can feel that it is equally as harmful from either side of the fence if there is judgement…which simply separates us from living as the one brotherhood of man we Truly are – Ridiculous! And, your openness and willingness to go there proves that it only takes One to make a change & build that bridge accross judgements and identities! Love it, and appreciate you Bianca, for being willing to be one of the Ones.
Great point Pernillahorne. I never realised how insidious it was to play the victim, or how even only ever so slightly this thread of thought could run and play havoc through the body, and with people’s lives. It can be very manipulative and persuasive leaving nobody in a position to move truly forward, just trapped in a time warp so to speak.
I learnt this idiom at school ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ but I found it so easy to do in subtle thoughts and wasn’t honest with myself about what I was thinking. I still do this with people’s appearance and then I end up having a conversation with them and go away thinking I was completely wrong with my judgement – they ended up being a lovely person to talk to. I now recognise that this is what it is showing me.
The incredible thing was that the way I used to react to and be judgmental of people was so normal for me that I did not recognise it as such. The inspiration from Serge Benhayon in this regard has been a real gift for me. It is a blessing to have greater love and tenderness within me and to feel more connection with others. Now this is a ‘normal’ worth having.
Yes Golnaz and Doug, I realise how judgemental I used to be, and it’s so freeing to let that go, more and more. Understanding that we are all the same, just making different choices, choices mostly based on our hurts, to seemingly ‘protect’ ourselves, underneath we are and want the same; same particles! Denying this connection between us all is actually hurting us the most.
“What is here for me to learn?” I am finding this such a great question to ask myself when I find myself in an unexpected situation and to also endeavour to ask it consistently throughout my day. By doing so I keep being amazed by what I am learning. I do not remember any particular earth-shaking discoveries but feel that my life in general is deepening along with my sense of appreciation for my life, and that means, growing all the time.
Totally beautiful and inspiring blog Bianca and I love the quotation from Serge Benhayon on oneness “BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
Yes I connected to that too Tricia, in fact every time I open this blog it opens exactly at that sentence – ““BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.” A beautiful sign to remember this every moment of every day.
What you shared Bianca, is not only about the tatoos, in the same way we can judge people with different cultures, colour, religion, nationality until the moment we recognise that we are the same beyond all this which seems to make us different. But we are not. And an open hearted approach towards each others allows the walls to tumble down.
That’s so beautiful Bianca. I love the way you described how you held this man in complete equality and then to feel the power of your openness in the way you connected.. both allowing the shields to go down.
Bianca I love this blog and have read it twice now. This time what struck me particularly was the quote you use… “BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
[Esoteric Teachings and Revelations pg. 410 (1)]”
Such a beautiful way to understand oneness and something that will stay with me now. It celebrates our differences while at the same time our oneness… truly divine!
I agree Jenny, that is such a beautiful quote. I will remember that too: “Brotherhood: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.” Serge Benhayon.
I love the quote you shared Bianca on Brotherhood. I feel this is the only time when making it personal serves us all.
The openness between two strangers with commitment to have no judgment brings tears to my eyes. What a well of love is offered here for anyone to connect to and take into their own lives.
I love this blog and it really exposes the depth of connection we miss out on when we align to schools of thought that allow us to think that at our core we are anything but innately caring and deeply loving human beings – such as racism.
Bianca this is a great blog. I know I can go into judgment based on appearance. I am finding how limiting it is and how I reduce my opportunities to simply connect with other human beings. Thank you for sharing how you simply allowed yourself and the man next to you to simply be.
Me too Debra. This blog highlights the same for me, how I lose out on connection with others due to judgement when connection with others is in fact what I love.
On an airplane journey recently I sat next to a young woman, travelling with her father to the US. Half-way through the journey, I opened up a conversation with her, she was from Vienna, we connected and shared stories. On the return journey, I sat next to a man, did not open up, and neither did he. The quality of the journey was different, we remained as islands, separate and enclosed in our own worlds.
Thanks Bianca for sharing with us on how to be open and accepting of everyone we meet.
It is when our life can truly become miraculous as we honor every interaction as equally important.
It does’t always work, but a lot of the time the more open I can be, the more of an open response I get from people. Time and again people have surprised me at how open they can be. All you need is a good icebreaker, like the turbulence turned out to be and you realise, we are just made of the same particles after all.
Yes couldn’t agree more Kevmchardy, it is generally directly related I find. If someone is closed or off hand with me these days, it is a signal to check where l’m at, and it is rarely the case that I am truly open and they are choosing not to be. It very much confirms the fact we all want love and to be met.
We can learn so much from nature, dogs only see black and white and live in a world of gray. How much of our world would judgment of others be stripped if that was the way we viewed our world? But we do see the world in the rainbow of colours that we are meant to see it. We have the choice to fully embrace everyone and the tapestry they present and their part of making the our world an amazing place to be… or view like the dog and live in a world of grayness.
Bianca I had some tears come up when reading your experience, the harshness and coldness of being judgemental really keeps us in separation. Oneness is what we all seek deep down and this is what I could connect to so strongly and have craved for a very long time. This is such a great reminder to remain open and be the love that we are with all that I meet.
Beautiful Bianca, your willingness to stay open and non judgemental in that situation is an example of how we all have to be, for the benefit of humanity
At their core, and not so far from the surface, everyone is amazing. Everyone is tender, loving and gorgeous. The behaviours we choose, the personas we adopt and the way we configure our physical appearance are all methods we use to protect ourselves in the world or not feel how hurt we have been by the world in the past. None of these things are truly us.
I agree Katemaroney1, there are so many ways in which we can keep others at a distance, all in the attempt to shield ourselves from being hurt.
Thank you Bianca. I too have observed myself be more open with others since connecting with the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. This remains work in progress…. I love how you speak of the particles we are all made up of belonging to a oneness. This is so simple and makes so much sense.
Susan I have felt the same with myself, when I reflect back the level of arrogance, judgement and criticism I had for others was staggering. Underneath that though I held the same judgements against myself. What I’ve found with Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon’s constant support is the more I am accepting and deeply loving with myself the more open, loving I am with others. It’s an ever deepening experience.
I have also felt this Susan, ‘I too have observed myself be more open with others since connecting with the work of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine’, I have noticed how much more I enjoy people now, that I am in much less judgment and enjoy connecting with people that I meet rather than just being friendly with close friends and family, I can feel how we are all family not just with those that we are related to.
I agree Susan. It is a great reminder for us all to take ourselves deeper into our life experience through deeper commitment to ourselves. This then serves all others.
How beautiful Bianca. By being able to stay with our own innate loveliness and judge no one, we open life up to experiences like you had on the plane. This was a great interaction for both of you, yet if there had been any judgement, the plane ride could have been awkward and uncomfortable, missing entirely the always there opportunity to connect with our brothers.
We are all the same, we have blood, we have skin and we have a heart. The outer look, the life choices, the essence of us may all be different, but still we are all the same. What an awesome example of that dictum in day to day life.
Thanks for sharing your experience; indeed we are all one, no matter the outer contrasts that are a plenty.
I love how you can see beyond the tatoos and actually connect to the real person inside with no judgment or critique. Proves that people with tatoos aren’t scary, it is just the generalization of them.
We don’t know what has led to people to making certain choices in their lives, we often don’t know why WE have made some choices in our own lives, so to allow ourselves to judge someone by their appearance, is somewhat hypocritical. However, we do it and this is something I have done a lot in my life. The really interesting thing is, the people who I’ve often felt I will never be able to get along with turn out to become very close friends, it took me a while to learn this lesson! I found it so inspiring that you chose to surrender to your body, deepening the connection to you, holding this tender man in so much love. What an amazing flight that turned out to be.
I love the quote you shared on Brotherhood – what a lovely reminder that we are all connected.
A beautiful sharing Bianca thank you. Planes are a great place to connect and talk with someone, and I feel it is no coincidence that we sit next to the person we do. Once I was flying home to Auckland from a Universal Medicine workshop and I spoke with a gentle man next to me on all things related to love, god, and what was going on in his life. The conversation was deeply connecting and real and it was beautiful to speak with a stranger so honestly and openly with also no guard or protection
It’s funny that when we are in such close proximity to others, it does not always result in conversation. I say this because I have travelled on many planes, but have never ended up chatting to the person next to me. I might see how I am the next time I’m on a plane.
Debra I thought as I read your comment about how hard we have to fight to stay apart from one another. Here we all are, the one united body of God. We are all made up of the same particles as each other and of God. The division between us is purely illusional and yet we can sit next to another aspect of ourselves on a plane, forced to almost touch at the elbows and thigh and yet we can go for 24 hours and not acknowledge this other part of ourselves. Crazy isn’t it !
Debra, I am having a little chuckle at a memory, after reading the comment below by Alexis in relation to no ‘conversation’ even when elbows are touching – even more tricky when the mammoth gentleman on the left has his elbow under ones’ left breast into ones’ ribs – what conversation then!? I was not in awareness of ‘particles being shared’ as such, I was in total nonacceptance, irritation, frustration even entering ‘code red’ among other things and we never booked a seat in the middle of the plane again, being a much more loving and tender choice for us to make I feel.
Bianca this is so beautiful. There are no borders between us and them, there is only us.
Imagine if the world agreed with this statement, that there is “only us”. There would be no war, Syrians would not be fleeing their country, Israel would not be perpetually on guard, and America would not have race issues. There is an example like these for every pocket of the world. Even in idyllic Fiji, the latest coup is often on the horizon. When there is “only us”, we are without doubt in knowledge that regardless of looks, culture and religion, we are all fundamentally equal.
Don’t judge a book by its cover. Absolutely. At times even when I don’t think I do this I can see I do this on a really subtle level … and it is not very nice. Writing this I can also see how this judgement comes from the mind and can be influenced by an outside energy but when we are connected to our heart there is no room for this energy to come in or for this to happen.
It’s crazy to assume that all people that have tattoo’s are bad however when you get a tattoo the energy of the tattooist comes along with it. So it is always a good idea to discern the energy of the tattooist first and acknowledge the energy but don’t absorb it.
I agree Nicholas, as with a lot of things in life, it goes back to those ideals and beliefs that were ingrained during childhood – for me, some were stronger than others. It’s up to us all as individuals to always bring understanding to other people’s choices, without judgment. It has nothing to do with us how other people choose to be in life, how they choose to present themselves, but how we choose to be is completely our responsibility.
I know that despite what I tell myself, and it takes a huge amount of honesty, I often judge a book by it’s cover. Whether the cover is appealing or not so appealing, it can often be my first stop and it takes a little while for me to read beyond. Feeling what is beyond the cover is now something I’m trying to practice more.
This is exquisite Bianca. I am so moved by your tender sharing. Thank You.
What a beautiful blog of an everyday experience that demonstrates what magic is possible in the world when we choose to connect with ourselves and then another and allow the oneness to be felt.
We are always presented with a choice of either identifying with our hurts and going into protection with ideas and beliefs of how others should be or to connect with the love that we are and meeting others with the same oneness that we come from.
So could it be that we judge others so we don’t have to feel our hurts and the protection we are in? It may seem easier pointing the finger at another but it actually hurts our bodies more because we are denying ourselves the truth with what is really going on inside ourselves.
Very true Vicky. It is much easier to put up a barrier or judge a person as a layer of protection than to be open and deal with the hurts we may have. However, as you say, this protection is actually more harming to us.
How judgement stops the flow of love immediately. How beautiful that we can change the way we might have been before and open ourselves to the love and beauty that lies within- under the cover so to speak. a lovely sharing. Thank you Bianca.
Judgement is not normal, and yet it barricades us from what we all truly want – love.
Very true elainearthey – as long as we stay open we are able to connect and we are able to reflect to each other what we really are – love.
Yes Elaine it’s the openness to all that brings beautiful heartfelt connections and we learn so much from being connected to others in this way.
Bianca, this is a lovely sharing of bringing understanding and acceptance of others for what they do with no judgement at all, and letting them in and feel that we are the same no matter what we might look on the outer. Thank you.
A beautiful encounter Bianca and on which we could all experience every day if we took the opportunity “ to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his/her outer cover looked like” before we engaged with anyone. If everyone did the same, it would change the face of humanity overnight!
So true Anne, this could be our experience every day if we took the opportunity to connect to all people and let them in and appreciate who they are regardless of how they might be presenting.
Allowing the man to feel your gentleness and for him to be met without judgement was beautiful for him to experience.
Yes. A true healing for him and a lovely confirmation for Bianca of her true power.
It is also so very interesting to hear someone’s life story. How touching that he was willing to share his path. That attests to the lack of judgment that was present, for none of us would be so at ease if we felt we were being judged.
That’s true Heather – and I am sure there are many of us that have been surprised by the ease in which a total stranger will share their current dilemma/life story etc. – no matter their supposed rank as seen by society –
I experienced a similar moment with a man wearing the most stripes in charge of a ship over a morning cuppa a couple of years ago. I have found in those moments the presence of Love is very evident – no room for judgment or opinions at all, just total unity in healing.
I agree Peter, ‘Allowing the man to feel your gentleness and for him to be met without judgement was beautiful for him to experience.’ So simple and yet so powerful. More and more i am living my natural gentleness and this allows me to just be me and others to just be them without criticism and judgement, it feels beautiful and very simple and loving to be this way with myself and others.
So true Peter. How often do we wait until it is ‘safe’ or for the other to show their vulnerability first before we are willing to be seen. We have many opportunities in a day to connect like Bianca has shared so it is a wonderful reminder that we can connect this naturally to people every day.
True Peter. Such an enormous healing for them both…and something we all have the opportunity to experience every single day
The magical super powers of particle recognition. This is an amazing science. By being connected and well loved, the particles of another recognise themselves and are offered a choice to expand. Your meeting this gentleman Bianca moved particles like never before and offered healing at that very moment. Your meeting was in energetic awareness of oneness, very powerful and very beautiful.
Totally beautiful and inspiring- I agree Matthew. Can see the importance of simply chatting with people but care not matter what the topic is, it is the connection and another feeling truly accepted and met in that connection. Oneness indeed.
A whole new level of conversation, Johanna – no trying to impress, simply allowing the connection to be made.
Well said Johanna08smith, great point, to be open and willing to talk about any topic, whatever is needed in that moment to connect with another equal brother.
Indeed Matthew, the action that Bianca allowed for made sure that there was no space whatsoever for anything other than absolute true connection and this would have felt very confirming and palpable within the body.
I love science Matthew and so expressing our oneness on a particle level really floats my boat. When you put it like that, it makes so much sense to me. We are all made of the same particles, so of course they will recognise each other. Its a great way to explain the feeling of being connected.
Mathew your description of the alchemy that is going on between people when we connect and reignite brotherhood is why I love being with people. To feel this occurring right in front of my eyes is nothing short of a miracle and constantly confirms the magic of the universe at play.
I love the insight and understanding you bring here, Matthew. The absolute magic of our universe, explained in such detail here, just blows me away ….. so incredibly beautiful.
So well said Matthew. It is exactly that energetic awareness of how we meet people that is so important, and gives this opportunity for another to have an experience of oneness that they may never have had before. It is a beautiful and inspiring blog.
So true Matthew. I was appreciating the beautiful constellation of events that brought Bianca and this man to be sitting together next to each other on a plane and connecting at a particle level. Amazing!
Such a bigger picture when we bring it back to “The magical super powers of particle recognition.”
A beautiful way of confirming what happens when we connect with others Matthew. We give others an opportunity to expand simply because of the choices we have made. We don’t have to do or say anything in particular, just simply connect.
So beautifully said Matthew. They do seem like “magical super powers” because this knowledge and understanding has been kept hidden and out of view for too long. Understanding the universe through particles should be normal and in mainstream teachings.
Simply awesome Matthew Brown, thank you.
Dear Bianca this is so lovely and thank you for sharing this I am still working on that, too because it is so true and so lovely to feel if I am welcoming, open and loving and treated as you did it with him, but so hurting when it is the opposite and I feel judged.
I agree to be at the end of receiving someone being short, abrupt and hard doesn’t feel great at all. The complete opposite to being open honest and caring. To be met with Love and Openness just makes me want to melt and be the same.
Such a beautiful understanding Bianca that we are all one and the same. The outward appearance cannot marr the deep connection we all share, as you clearly articulated with your explanation of particles. When this connection is made, brotherhood is felt and someone’s spark of who they truly are is ignited for them to connect with. What more could you ask in life, than to initiate true brotherhood?
I love the clarity and depth of your expression Gina, it expands my understanding.
I work in an environment were the people that I meet come in a variety of expressions. At first I felt an us and them, and after a while I could see that they are no different to me. I now love everyone that comes in to the office or I speak with on the phone. That’s healing for all of us. I love this blog Bianca you allowed your heart to be open and met each other regardless of the image he created, beautiful.
What a beautiful blog Bianca, and so resonant about recognising how we are all the same under our skin … what an great aeroplane trip!
Bianca, this is a lovely example of how when we open up to someone they can drop their protection too and what a wonderful thing for this man to feel so totally accepted. Your recognition of his tenderness may have allowed him to feel it himself. And his presence offered you this realization which you might have missed had you judged him in any way. That’s a pretty good exchange.
Thank you Bianca your blog is such a beautiful confirmation of the oneness that exists between us all.
The toughest people I have met, in the most vulnerable positions are just like a young child wanting connection, reassurance and to be met for who they are not judged for their behaviour or exterior. A lovely blog.
I have seen the toughest of men melt and the hardest of women open up when they are simply met for who they are. So true Lucy, underneath it all, it is this connection that we all want.
It’s usually the scariest looking men that are most protective of themselves. in life. Through muscle building, shaved heads, multiple piercings and tattoos, they put on the disguise that says ‘back off’. They can be violent, but can also be softies under the hardness.
I love your blog here Bianca…particles as one.
Bianca, I appreciate your open sharing about your journey from being judgmental to now understanding the oneness you have with every person you meet.
“I kept confirming that we were both the same and it felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from” ~ beautiful Bianca
I find it can be very hard not to recoil when around someone with lots of tattoos, I can admit to there being a judgement there as it makes me wonder why they would want to cover their beautiful skin with something that doesn’t feel that great. However I can see my own faults in these judgements and that in itself is great to admit to and try and learn from. I know it is the energy emanating from the tattoo I dislike and not the person themselves and being open as Bianca was can allow for a lot of appreciation of the person hiding behind the body art.
When you know you are the One, at one with all, you never need to prove that you are the one at all.
Love this Liane, one and all:)
That is one heck of a quote Liane. Something I need to hear right now too – it confirms and exposes all at once. How glorious.
I love this Liane, and it is so true. When there is a realisation that we are indeed all ‘the one’, it removes all ‘trying’ and proving ourselves as more or better as there is no need. I find that I am left with a deep surrender and a ease within my body, walk, speak.
🙂
I love this Liane
“I kept confirming that we were both the same and it felt like our particles were recognising the Oneness we are from’.
What a gem for all our daily interactions, to break down all those barriers we put in the way of connection. I am on a plane tomorrow and I will take this with me, Bianca.
Hi Bianca thank you for sharing this beautiful simple blog of yours, and yes what a confirmation all we have to do is connect with our divinity and feel that in our body and we connect to every one and every thing, one great constellation of love.
One of the greatest gifts I have received from Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine has been the start of my tentative journey of re-opening my heart. I treasure the ability to be open to other people regardless of what games and deterring exterior they present, and to feel and know the gorgeous shared love and equality that is at our innermost. I may struggle with it at times, but I now know the possibility and am free to choose to find my way back to it. The recognition of this divinity and connection within us all, at times brings tears to my eyes.
Lovely expression Golnaz, and I can so relate to what you share here. I feel the truth in that at times we may find it easier than others, yet the beauty lies in that we are always free to choose anew.
I agree Elaine, the knowing we have a choice to be in connection with the Divine beings that we are is an absolute blessing that Serge has offered us. As you say it’s a constant choice and sometimes I let the outside interfere with my connection to the innermost but it never leaves, it is always there ready and willing to be ignited.
Thanks Bianca this is a beautiful sharing. What an amazing blessing for the two of you to have shared. It’s incredible what is possible when we get ourselves out of the way and allow the Oneness that we are to be our natural impulse.
What a gorgeous blog and a great reminder that the simplicity of re-connecting and focusing on our breath brings not just a one-ness with ourself, but can allow one-ness with everyone else.
Yes, we have no idea how and when we might inspire others – but the more we connect to ourselves and just simply be the more we can simply be with others as they are without wanting them to be any different.
A beautiful sharing Bianca, it’s amazing how at our core no matter what our appearance or the protective shield we carry or wield we are all the same.
What amazes me Greg, is that we cannot all see this and that we have to build these shields to protect ourselves from our equal brothers and then we fear these ‘others’ or compare ourselves to them or judge them – crazy!
Thank you for sharing this quote Bianca, this is so very beautiful, ‘“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
[Esoteric Teachings and Revelations pg. 410 (1)]’ Wow, reading this makes me realise how we as human beings have separated ourselves from each other in so many ways, making ourselves different from one another with culture, religion, identifying with a certain group and yet in truth we are all the same and are all one – how gorgeous.
This quote stood out for me too Rebecca, just so simple so obvious and yet we need reminding.
Bianca your beautiful blog confirms the truth that ‘there is no love in judgement’. When judgement slips in, love slips out. Your impulse to breathe gently and connect to yourself brought you closer to god and your fellow passenger.
‘When judgement slips in, love slips out. ‘, this is so simply beautiful and so simply true Kehinde, and this blog shows how it can be that easy, to let love slip back in again.
Oh I love this Kehinde – “When judgement slips in, love slips out.” I love even more if we turn that sentence into: ‘When judgement slips out, Love slips in!” So easy to remember and take into every day with us, and what a difference that can make every moment, as we saw in Bianca’s lovely sharing.
A very lovely story that you have shared Bianca. Gives me inspiration to be more open in my everyday life.
Bianca thank you for sharing your confirmation of our oneness and the beautiful exchange that opened up with your fellow passenger. The shield of his tattoos was very visible but so often our shields are less obvious but still prevent us from accessing the amazing depths of our interconnectivity. I am so grateful for all that Serge Benhayon presents that has offered me the opportunity to explore this.
I love this story – especially the bit about the plane jogging you in to his arm. (If that exact moment was in a movie, it would be laughed off as a cheesy coincidence!). So amazing for him to be met with that total lack of judgement and, I imagine, such a release of tension for you to be able to connect with him without and pre-conceptions of fear. Massive for both of you. I have this image of the whole of the rest of the passengers being plugged in to their headphones, hidden behind their eye patches and fermenting in the wake of lethargic-making food…whilst somewhere in some row, is this glow of connection. Ace. It’s also a powerful wrist-slap to me for all the times that I have shut myself off to the possibility of those connections, when amongst strangers. I’m on a plane this Wednesday. I will keep your story in mind and keep myself open.
It is so easy to make snap judgements about people and come up with a feasible reason why we shouldn’t talk to them or give them a wide birth, but how many times in our lives have we brushed that thought aside and spoken to them anyway only to find that they are exactly like us. This is a prime example of how our judgements can be wrong.
I completely agree Julie – we often miss out on meeting absolutely gorgeous people we are constellated to connect to because of our judgements and because we don’t read beneath the surface. Equally many times we allow ourselves to be fooled by seemingly nice and good people who really are not at all offering what they appear to be presenting!
I agree Julie, it is so easy to make snap judgements – and judgements hold us separated from feeling the truth and love of equality.
Bianca after reading your blog and then walking through the streets of Manchester I noticed how different it can be without immediately judging everyone. In the past when I would walk past “homeless” people I would either tense up to try and avoid being asked for money, like tensing up helps, or feel awkward or sympathetic in someway. On this occasion a man walked past me with his bed in his arms as I looked at a restaurant menu. We said hello and I felt him as an equal, he didn’t want anything from me and it made me reconsider just how without words we miss out on so many true connections with ourself and others through judgement. It’s like there is a whole new world out there that we can open up to when we don’t judge a book by its cover in the true sense of it.
“Don’t judge a book by its cover”. Such an important lesson for us to learn – but I know I do have an impression – however fleeting – the minute I meet someone. I am now learning to clock when I am in judgement, but am also learning that if I am judging myself then I am more likely to also judge others. One to watch.
Life on earth offers to us so many ways to see us as separated – be it in our ‘covers’, opinions or what ever. How amazing is it to not get fooled by that. But the truth is: we are one, joining the same particles…just beautiful. Thank you Bianca.
Bianca, I am struck how simple it is, when we let go of self and choose to break with long held patterns. Protection and judgement keep humanity separate and looking down. Connection to our breath and an awareness of the bigger picture – allow evolution to unfold.
There is such power in surrender and such grace is just viewing everything in life as a constellation designed to support us and others back to ourselves. Bianca by seeing the situation you described in this blog as an opportunity to evolve rather than an inconvenience or a threat you were open to that beautiful opportunity to unfold. Inspirational.
A great example here of what can happen if we let go of our protection and let people in. Perhaps ‘letting people in’ allows those particles to flow freely between two people?
Good question Andrewmoney26, I believe the particles flow from the consciousness of all of humanity and they are constantly changing all the time for everyone and although by letting your neighbour in they will trill to a sweeter frequency it won’t be for you and your neighbour alone, it will be for all of humanity.
I love that you were able to share an openness with this man when the reason he got his tattoos was to keep people away. It shows what lack of judgement can do.
I can only confirm what you are saying Bianca – Serge Benhayon’s books also support me to become more open and real with people. Only in the last few weeks I was able to open up more to his books, before that it was very difficult for me.
That is great to hear Alex and a real confirmation of what true healing and true evolution really is. I can also very much relate here and on many levels I can see that life is an opportunity to work on all the areas we know we are not bringing our all. These books will continue to support us all in this process.
Such a beautiful loving exchange you experienced Bianca, confirming that underneath our shields- whether it is us tightening our bodies to not feel another, or cover our bodies in tattoos to keep others at a distance ,we are yearn for intimacy and come from love.
Bianca when I read that utterly amazing quote “BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One” it stood out so clearly that what we then do to another we also do to ourselves. When we attack another we are attacking ourselves and when we lift another up, so too do we lift ourselves up.
Bianca you have so nailed our armored society. The ease that our armor can melt another armor is always amazing.
“Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?” By being open and asking what was the opportunity here, you gave yourself and your fellow passenger such a beautiful opportunity for tenderness, understanding and connection Bianca. It is no coincidence that we are bumped into another, when we are ready for the next moment of expansion. I love how you took the knowledge about particles into a lived knowingness.
I agree Bernadette and also enjoyed how Bianca was open to connect to who was sitting next to her and asked the question what is here for me to learn. I used to do that a lot and still do. More recently I have also become aware that often people are next to me not because there is something for me to learn but because there is something for me to share or for them to experience. Of course any experience is always two way and it is a beautiful thing when an opportunity opens up to meet another in the brotherhood and equality Bianca has described.
When we are connected with ourselves we do not have to be guarded and can be open to anyone we meet. It is beautiful how you describe, Bianca that by being you you have allowed him to let go of his guards too and to show the tenderness that he is too, equally so. What a blessing this must have been for him as the tattoos shows to me clearly that they serve as a guard, a protection to keep any intimacy miles away.
I agree Nico – and building on that, just because someone has tattoos does not mean they are the only one to keep their guards up. I know that it is just as easy, tattoos or not, to shut people out even by the slightest movement. We have become so versed in this.
But to let people in, well, that is something we can constantly develop.
I totally agree with you hvmordan, that we all carry guards, having tattoos or not. Only the person with a tattoo is more open and firm in his or her expression of this. Letting people in is the only way to go and is something we all have to develop. For me I found that letting people in is not always that easy, and this is mainly because I am not open and honest with myself in the first place because of myself feeling not worthy as a result of taking on pictures that were given to me to consider. The pictures that were presented to me to show me how I should behave and be in any circumstance in my life. Becoming honest with myself and to surrender to who I truly am is the only way to let go of these pictures and to restore the true me, in which I naturally can open my heart and let people in.
Very true, Nico. We have the ability to give people space to let go of their guards and open up… It is their choice in the end whether or not they do so, but we can treat them with absolute love and give them the needed platform.
Bianca your tenderness, love, and willingness to see all as equal was felt while I read your blog. I had a conversation this morning about how we can judge someone for their action but forget to look at the whole story of how they came to that choice. Just as you showed to this man, you looked back to his story without judgment and understood his story to find the tender man underneath, beautiful.
I so enjoyed reading about your plane trip, Bianca, and the not so random encounter you had. I could feel the gentleness in the man you met as I read about your experience. By you allowing yourself to be so open and loving, it enabled him to feel safe enough to open his heart to you. It was very beautiful to read and such an awesome reminder for me to always be open to letting others in.
How awesome it must have felt for you and this man that the two of you could connect without judgement. It is a great example for everyone. And if it is the case that this man has tattoos to keep people at a distance then imagine how healing it is to meet someone who didn’t reject him and confirmed his hurts but simply accepts and saw him for who he truly is.
“Here was an opportunity for me to feel the sameness between us and to be open no matter what his outer cover looked like.” This is a great reminder for us all Bianca that it doesn’t matter who we are with as inside our particles are all the same and constantly interchanging with everyone else’s. In effect, we are one with everybody. Your blog is a beautiful reminder of this.
In the glory of god we are one, in the living stillness of all things we are one and the same, we are gods children.
No one more and no one less, nobody higher and none lower.
When I feel this in my body, all the protection and hardness and judgement leaves my body when I meet another person, and what a heavenly meeting it is.
Beautifully said Thomas. When I read your comment, all of the hardness left my body. It is amazing we carry around all our hurts, how much they weigh on us and how much they stop us from feeling the oneness. When we choose to not carry them, and make a choice to let things be as they are without judging or imposing expectation on the situation or person, what a heavenly meeting it is indeed.
What a beautiful confirmation Bianca, when a chat on a plane with a fellow passenger it confirms “our oneness that exists between us” despite the extremes to be seen as individual.
It’s so easy to go into judgement rather than accepting one another as who they are no matter what the ‘cover’ looks like.
This is such a beautiful true story Bianca, underneath the toughest and hardest exteriors is a person crying out for love and understanding, when they feel the genuine love they don’t need the protection so they drop it. In doing so they reveal their true loving self and it is obvious the tough exterior is just a false suit of armor to shield them from hurt. When we meet people without judgment they get to feel themselves which is much needed in our armored society. Thank you Bianca for proving that this is not a theory, but a practical and touching way for humanity.
I really like how you have summed it up Bernard, it is right on – thank you for expressing,
I agree, Bernard you’ve taken the conversation to a whole new level with what you’ve shared here. I certainly know having been met without any judgement by Serge Benhayon and the esoteric practitioners from Universal Medicine, has allowed masses of layers of protection to come off.
People become so hurt when they feel judged, and what we often dismiss is how sensitive we all are, and how we feel so much even if it is left unsaid. So when we come across someone who doesn’t judge us it is a huge healing, we feel met the way we long to be and it’s a natural process for the protection to come off.
Bernard, I love this, “When we meet people without judgment they get to feel themselves which is much needed in our armored society.” Very rarely are we given, or allow ourselves, the opportunity to truly feel ourselves. Any such opportunity is a blessing and should be embraced whole heartedly, for the sake of us all.
And the ripples of your actions Bianca will be felt way, way, way beyond the time and space of that conversation.
That is so true Otto. Our love given freely reaches out into the world in ways we could never imagine.
Yes, they will be. One interaction like that can leave a deep imprint. When I was a teenager and facing a long flight home after a traumatic event I sat next to a middle aged man who sat and listened to me while I poured out all my hurt and sadness. He listened with such care and showed me much love simply by holding the space while I expressed. 20 years later I can still remember that man.
My body got ripples (well goose bumps) just reading your comment Otto. So true – the effects of these moments is way beyond our comprehension.
Yes, Ottobathurst the effect will be felt by so many other people as well. We never just interact with one person. We always interact with everybody close to that person, both physically and emotionally.
Super cute nikkimckee. Proof that there is so much gold out there in the world. So much love and brotherhood busting to get out of the locked cages in which our armour keeps it. All we gotta do is open ourselves up to it, drop the guards, and it will come flooding out…and in….
sarahflenley, Monika R – your comments have made me ponder it even deeper. Because it’s not just that moment. It will be taken on to all the people that he will then go and connect with and on and on. Rippling throughout humanity. That is how powerful these initial ‘splashes’ are. It’s like the good version of a highly contagious disease!
Your comment says it all Bernard. Never be fooled by what our eyes are looking for, but allow ourselves to feel the essence of the other, who is just like us, wanting to be love(d).
Yes Bernard, and the simple way to be less judgmental with others is to not be judgmental with ourselves. This has been an eye opener for me, and the knock on effect of being more loving towards me has been very life changing. How I treat others is a reflection of how I treat myself.
Bianca, that was just beautiful to read. Such a healing to simply read this and feel how we don’t have to be guarded and no need to judge ourselves or another, and how when we are simply ourselves and open, we let others around us be themselves too.
Absolutely agree, Katerina, “we don’t have to be guarded and no need to judge ourselves or another”. I admit that I have been very judgmental when seeing a person covered with tattoos, have felt very uncomfortable and want to get away from it. Bianca has completely challenged that for me, how wonderful to let that go and be open to just being connected to myself and looking at that other person and feeling him/her from that space. It is then that we see what is truly there, often a very sensitive person who has put up their guard (the tattoos) to protect him/herself. What a wonderful healing that is for both when we then connect from what we truly are.
That is true. Some people have to go to great lengths to not feel their very strong sensitivity and when they come across somebody who is able to feel their sensitivity, then quite a lot can happen.
Yes, I completely agree. Time and time again, I have observed how people who present themselves as tough are often extremely sensitive and have developed what can at times appear to be an off-putting outer appearance as a form of protection simply because they are so sensitive. Many very big scary looking men or women are really very sweet and sensitive. I remember once when I was 15 years old working in a toy shop and a HUGE muscly man came in and asked in a tiny little voice how much the teddy bear cost.
This has been my experience too Christoph. I find it especially true working with children. The ones who have the toughest exteriors are often the most fragile and sensitive.
Absolutely, I am feeling this so much more everyday!
“We let others around us be themselves too”. Judgment puts people in a box and it can be hugely challenging for another to get out of the box you put them in. When we don’t do that, there is all the space in the world for them to be who they are. That is freedom.
So True Katerina, we can be so quick to judge when we are only using our eyes versus connecting to another and from that connection knowing that we are all one and the same.
Great point you make here Vanessa. When we only use our eyes we are very limited. To be open and allow ourselves to feel, then allows us to feel others. I am finding the less preoccupied and more present with myself I am, the more I can feel what is going on.
I agree Katerina with your comment to Bianca beautiful blog , “…let others around us be themselves too.” It seems it has been such a learned reaction over many lives perhaps to ‘gird our loins’ so to speak, and put up the shield of protection.
One has to wonder how old this fear-full behaviour pattern is that we may still harbour, but now, as a result of the Agless Wisdom Teachings at the presentations of Universal Medicine, we are reminded we have always had a choice as to our responses, a loving choice as opposed to a reaction that seems to be ingrained maybe from neither trusting or loving ourselves as a result of the past disconnection from our loving heart. I thank God for Serge Benhayon who shares with us that there is another way.
Hi Bianca. I have just finished reading another blog called ‘The Magic of God in our everyday livingness’ and I feel what has happened here is exactly as God’s planned it. The moment you had re-connected to your body and settle into yourself the turbulence jostled the plane giving you the opportunity to connect to the person sitting next to you and a moment of healing took place – ‘Divine Timing’. Thank you.
Awesome Bianca, I love how you kept connecting to the fact you and the man sitting next to you were in essence the same and how that supported you not to feel any judgement.
Yes, it makes me realise how I too can do this more often in my life.
Bianca what you have shared here is so important. Even though most have heard the saying…”don’t judge a book by it’s cover”, in fact it’s what we do to some extent, perhaps not judging in appearances or skin colour, but often in other ways too. What you have shown us is how not true this is and how we have only reached this point because we have separated from the connection with ourselves, with our love, a love that we are all from and all are.
This is true Jennifer. We do judge and it almost happens immediately before we know it’s happening.
So True! When we separate from ourselves it’s like severing any connection possible with anyone else. Could we be separated first and that is why the judgements arise to justify the painful feeling we have as a result of doing this? It makes coming back to our essence so much more important.
Beautiful Jennifer. What we do is judge people by their choices (and our own), and in doing so we pretty much dismiss people. It is such an amazing learning, one I’m still very much in the process of, to connect with someone for who they are and not judge them for their behaviours and choices. It’s no less discriminatory, indeed supremacist, than judging another for the colour of their skin.
Completely true Katerina re your reference to supremacist behaviour – this is what judging carries the air of. It’s sharp to reflect on but essential to register this, thank you.
So interesting Bianca that we often judge or feel that we need to protect ourselves from men who are heavily tattooed, when, as in the story that you shared, it may be them who is trying to protect or hide themselves from the world. In not judging a book by its cover we are open to seeing the truth, oneness and equality in all.
Bianca, thank you for sharing this experience about your encounter with the stranger yet a friend, with tattoos. It has been so helpful to read your blog and remind myself of the fact that we are all the same within, no matter what is happening on the outside. Our choices should never be judged – judgement itself shows a lack of understanding and a lack of willingness to feel the all. I am far from perfect as I do find myself judging others at times, but reading this article was a perfect reminder that there is no need for this, that judgement just gets in the way of a beautiful friendship.
Boy oh Boy Bianca, this is a hugely healing article for the whole world and how amazing to have this man whom you do not know have this experience with you. I have had a few similar experiences so I can relate hugely here and I feel that Serge Benhayon’s presentation on this is a revelation, I have been inspired here to write about some of my experiences.
I met a man on a plane flying to London while standing in queue for the toilet he was covered in tattoos, even his face. Because of my lack of judgement we entered into a deep conversation quite quickly, turned out he knew Serge Benhayon (what are the odds?) but had been judged for his tattoos by another student and this lead him to have his reservations about the work. Our connection re-imprinted his experience of the work and we were both blessed by our interaction. He was a very gentle man.
What a beautiful healing for you both Bianca. Not ‘judging a book by its cover’ can be a big hurdle to overcome, or it can simply be letting down our guard by remaining open hearted and choosing to let the other person in, knowing that we are all truly equal. Brotherhood in action.
Bianca what a truly tender sharing of the oneness we are all from. How much more harmony there would be in the world if we were able to appreciate the tenderness within others and see beyond the outer cover.
When I’m in my heart there’s only Oneness. And when I look to people from my heart, I see only but Love. Whatever else there might be, doesn’t not even close the Love that I feel. I can also see 🙂 that I’m still working on choosing to live life from my heart as a constant. Your blog is a Great reminder!
I had a similar experience today at work, where I had a chat with a colleague of mine. He shared that he was going to leave at 3pm to go drinking in the pub and then to a soccer game in the evening. I could feel that I just stayed open, even though I don’t drink alcohol and have no interest in soccer, I just connected with him and could feel a lot of love for him. Normally I would go into a judgement and also an arrogance of feeling better because I don’t make these choices. I am learning more and more how horrible it feels to place somebody above you or to place yourself above somebody else.
Thank you Mariette for mentioning this, I have noticed the same thing too. What I have also noticed when I go into judgment is an instant defence from the other person, which is no surprise really. That’s the beauty of what Bianca has shared with us. When there is no judgment here is only openness as shown by the connection and then honest conversation she had with her neighbour on the plane and the equalise between them.
I agree Mariette, it really is awful and I’m noticing this myself more and more. I’m also realising that we do this out of our own hurts and protection. That ‘you might hurt me’ so I’m going to stay away and separate and put myself above, or perhaps below you — depending on the situation and the person. When we are open we just let everyone in and realise we are all the same, tender and lovely human beings on the inside, regardless of the choices we have made.
Hi Mariette, yes, it comes in so quickly and can enter in the smallest of things, yours is an example of this, and I have many examples also. Like when others eat something that you wouldn’t choose to eat and there is some sort of feeling of being better than, or it can be the other way around. Judgment and all the beliefs and ideals it is based on separates.
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
[Esoteric Teachings and Revelations pg. 410 (1)]
This is beautiful, and makes me realise the responsibility of my part of the whole that we all are.
Everyday I meet all sorts of people with all sorts of covers but like you shared here Bianca when I drop my own covers (often clocking a tension in my body) I open up to others and them to me. Those judgements have no footing when we choose to let go of the guards. Guards that create more harm than they prevent!
Thanks for sharing your experience Bianca. The beautiful connection you had with this man was the result of your openness to feel the oneness between you, rather than allowing judgement to influence you.
I was not even aware of how much I judged others and myself before I came to Universal Medicine. I did not see it as being judgmental, I saw it as having high standards and was proud of it. When I met Serge Benhayon I was struck with how different I felt around him, but I could still not pin point why. He did not play any games, he did not ask anything of me, did not look to me for any agreement or praise, he did not look down or look up or look at me in any way than an equal, absolutely loved and completely honoured. There was a glint in his eyes as if he is looking at the most precious thing in the world and listened to every word I said as if it is the most important word ever uttered. It brings tears to my eyes to remember that experience. I was offered a reflection of love, appreciation and grace at a level that I had never offered myself. Since then because of the consistency of love I have witnessed in Serge Benhayon, I have learned to start to relate to myself in the same way. And that has given me the foundation to start relating to others in that way too. And THIS is how all the ills in the world start to turn around.
Beautiful Golnaz , thank you. Very precious to feel where and how our true love is reflected to all as shared with All by Serge Benhayon. Yes it turns our lives around and we have the same opportunity with all me meet to share the same depth of true love by connecting to everyone’s essence.
Such wisdom Golnaz! You have put your finger on precisely how the cause and effect of individual statements of attention-seeking play out. I too have pre-Serge and post- Serge experiences. Pre-Serge, I would have been very dismissive about fashion in general and self-mutilation in particular……”The doodlings of a lost and decadent society where footballers have become role models”, “The self-indulgence of trying to be more lower class by an insecure middle class” ….etc..etc…Then along comes Serge and serves up a marvellously refreshing dose of reality, which makes a nonsense of all our preconceptions. It’s not just the simplicity and clarity that impresses so much as the way he clearly lives and is at one with everything he says and delivers. The very idea that you and I are just the same underneath as a fully illustrated, inked and pierced humanoid would have been totally impossible and far too revolutionary for our forbears to accept! Once people start to accept this huge truth that we all share the same particles, the need for extreme forms of self-expression and behaviour will gradually become irrelevant, and as you say THIS is how the ills in the world start to turn around.
I loved reading this, Bianca. It was such a confirmation of what we all truly are: a brotherhood. We have different ways of living, but the truth of the matter is that we are all trying to figure out what we are doing, and use different means to protect ourselves from being hurt. It could be judgement, it could be tattoos, but neither define who we are. By the simple choice of connecting with one another that becomes abundantly clear.
Wow Naren, you’ve just added another gorgeous building block to what is being delivered here. You are so right, it doesn’t matter whether it’s judgement, tattoos or protection general. If we choose to be in connection with ourselves and then open and connected to the other person, we see right through whatever is there and connect to the sweetness that’s there within.
Connection is such a powerful choice, Katerina. It is so simple too! Start with yourself, and the rest becomes easy!
So often we can judge a person on their appearance, I know I have and still can do at times, which in my experience is a reflection of how much I judge myself. Recently, I walked past a man with lots of tattoos crouching down in a supermarket, for a split second I made a judgement on him because of his tattoos, (total arrogance and my own reaction) then stopped and said no, as soon as I did, I got to feel him and how sweet he was.
Some of the sweetest and most open people I know don’t ‘look’ the part. I guess this confirms that we need to feel first before look.
I agree Anna, Though what I am really learning is that as soon as I judge another then I lock them in this belief that’s who they are whether it’s how they look or a behaviour the express, which isn’t them. It all comes from my head. By doing this I do not or am not allowing them the space to grow or change – I don’t even need to say anything.
Actually saying it comes from my head – it’s not the truth it’s a lack of self responsibility for I can easily choose not to judge another and by this not be so harsh or judgmental on myself.
There are moments for example at the shops or at the park when I might have an opportunity to cross paths with someone I am familiar with, they are not necessarily people I would have the opportunity to have a lot of contact with. This morning I found myself dodging someone wanting to take an alternative route around the park, because I couldn’t be bothered getting caught up with talking to someone. So I stopped myself and asked what is really playing out here? I am judging someone and defining what contact I would have with them based on how I felt I needed to be. Rather than just accepting them and myself for where I was.
This is a very beautiful encounter. It melts me and reminds me of our full power.
This is gorgeous Felixschumacher8, a reminder again of the power of an open heart.
If we could all be a little more like you Bianca the world instantly be a truly greater place to be.
In an instant Dean this is true. Even the slightest shift in intention for all would see mass change.
A very beautiful sharing Bianca Barban, thank you.
Often we can be quick to judge people because of the way they look. In the past I have judged people for their life choices rather than connecting with the essence and feeling what is under their exterior. I know I have certainly made some poor choices in my life and am learning not to beat myself up for making them. The more I connect with my authentic self and learn to love myself the less I judge myself and others.
Me too Margaret, the more I deeply appreciate myself and see and know my value the more I see this in another first. Thank god, as there is so much wasted energy in judgement.
Being able to be with another without any judgement is an awesome feeling. It opens up so much and I know the other person really responds. People just want to connect and when judgement is felt it’s definitely not a welcoming feeling.
What a gorgeous moment shared between the two of you – and to think this would have been a missed opportunity had you chosen to hide away in previous judgements. I have also had the same experience from reading the purple books written by Serge Benhayon – they have presented to me so much understand about life and humanity. Every word is delivered with so much love and beholding of all. In fact I am getting teary just feeling how much I have appreciated this quality in these books. They have and continue to be an immense inspiration.
Thank you for sharing your experience, its amazing what we can achieve when we chose not to judge a person by their appearance or choices – it opens us up for the opportunity to connect to who the person actually is and realise that they are the same as us. In my town we have a lot of very heavily tattooed people, and what I have found is that they are some of the sweetest people, who use tattoos to protect themselves in the same way a person might use anger to keep people away.
I agree with your insight Rebecca, I have felt the same thing, that often it is the sweetest and most sensitive amongst us that use tattoos or perhaps excess weight to protect themselves and keep people at a distance. How lovely to read Bianca’s detailed story of her expansion past the conditioned reaction to this protection into a beautiful experience of oneness.
I agree Josephine – when a person is very sensitive and sweet, they often feel it necessary to protect that part of them from the world, where it is not honoured and can feel like a weakness if that person is not supported to stay open. There are so many things you can turn to to dull it down, like lots of sugar, coffee, tattoos, excess weight. And yet when we look past these things and continue to meet a person no matter what, to see that they are sweet and sensitive and that it is okay to be those things. If we do that, then people will learn that it is okay to just be themselves and that no protection is required.
Bianca this is a beautiful reminder that we are all connected and that it is by connecting with each other we find the most tender joy – even if outer appearances may seem to be saying ‘back off’!
Bianca what a beautiful healing this meeting was for both you and this man. I guess he would have felt seen for just himself as a person rather than a tattooed man. We use can use tattoos and such to cover who we truly are and to distract people from the inner beauty we are. I feel he was given the opportunity to be seen in this way by you.
This is a truly awesome sharing Bianca. Thank you. I could feel that there was absolutely no judgement but only a holding, acceptance and warmth of your exchange. I have learnt that it’s about connection from this blog. Thanks again.
Bianca I never considered tattoos as a shield to keep people at arms length. I’m a shocker for judging heavily tattooed people. I guess the shield works for me as I do keep my distance but now since reading your blog you have given me the opportunity to drop my perception of these people and go beyond the shield and meet the person, after all they are my brothers.
Bianca, this is inspiring, I can hear my mother’s words of criticism with regard to tattoos and realise that I have taken on her opinions instead of listening to my own – how gorgeous that you were able to feel the essence of this man and connect with his tenderness.
Yes I agree Carmel, sometimes if we are not careful (or better said aware) we let other people’s opinions get in us, without feeling if they are true or not, it is like a giving up on ourselves, letting others decide what is good, or maybe laziness to stop and feel.
I adore this Bianca. Thank you for reminding us that there can be a oneness between each and every one of us when we make the choice to allow the connection and appreciate the expansion that ensues. Everyone is tender inside. What a blessing moment for both of you.
I love your blog Bianca, a beautiful reminder that in the inner heart we are all one and the same. Thank you for sharing your lovely experience.
Isn’t it amazing that life presents situations that we can learn to read deeper and evolve from. An awesome way of confirming our oneness.
Beautifully said Tracey. Every person we meet is another opportunity to feel our deep connection with one another and the choice we all have to express more love and evolve.
Bianca what you have shared is very powerful indeed. It breaks through the segregation and separation that image and looks set up. The norm is for us to see, to judge and then react and all of that happens in a matter of seconds. How powerful then to choose to feel that we and all others are part of the same cloth. One huge patchwork quilt made up of millions of squares that all bleed into one another, no real separation at all.
Beautiful image Alexis, we are all together, we have an impact on each other, we are part of the same cloth.
Thank you Bianca, I enjoyed reading the step-by-step process of you coming back to love. By ‘slowing it down’ you have offered us a moment’s grace to pause and understand exactly what can come into place to trip us up. It also highlights for me that in every moment there is only ever one choice: to be love, or to be what is not.
Yes Liane, the beauty in this piece of writing is extraordinary. Each step made, either a step towards love and a deeper connection with ourselves and with others or we can make it a step away from that.
Bianca offers us the opportunity to be more responsible for the footprint that is left behind in our wake. She offers a blueprint for how we can make it a divine one.
I really like the very clear way of explaining the physiological pathway of hardening in the body. First the judgement of his outer appearance, then the perceived threat and how that thought triggers a fight or flight response (adrenaline) and how that hardens the arteries and the muscles (as it does). And also how you then chose to reconnect and breathe gently and you were back to being yourself with him and had a beautiful connection.
Thank you juliamanbos for your expansion on this – making it simple on a physiological level and very simple to understand.
And this allowed the hearts of each to connect- who they are inside. This is far more powerful and an amazing sharing.
Yes I agree too Julia. It was great to read in detail about her bodily response and how she felt it so clearly. I also loved reading about how she sat and felt her body, became aware of the hardness and so did some gentle breaths and then let her body relaxed. It’s amazing how in tune we can be with our bodies.
Yes Emily, because then once we have chosen to feel the body we can connect to us and then to them, instead of the usual (that I have done many times) of overriding what the body feels, overriding the judgment and hardening and then just being NICE! That´s it. Nice is a reaction and no one likes to connect to nice…while if we come back to our bodies we not only become honest and have the choice to reconnect, but give that opportunity to others, beautiful!
Yes and the opportunity for connection could so easily have been missed through judging thoughts and staying in protection. Bianca what you have written is truly inspiring.
We are One, until we choose to separate and then we are two, looking back at each other saying ‘who are you?’ as if the boundary of our skin could mask the unity pulsing within.
That’s really beautiful Liane.
Wow! Liane that is awesome and so true. I love it.
Yes true. We can either look at one another from separation or look and be with one another from connection. It really is that simple.
This is such an inspiring blog.
Whoa Liane. That was so amazing to read. That is officially my quote of the day and I am seriously going to keep it around for an awesome reminder. Really want to post it on Facebook actually haha.
Thank you Liane for this deeply touching compliment to Bianca’s blog.
So simple yet so true Liane, we are all essentially one. If you take away skin colour, nationality, clothes, etc.. we are all the same. It is crazy really then how we allow our eyes to fool us into thinking we are somehow different or separate.
Love can not die – I love your words connecting immediately everyone at a time. Very gorgeous.
Our judgment is a shield used to prevent us going deeper in understanding that we are each a Son of God and in that love, nothing need come between us.
I still remember to this day the first time I became aware that the thought that I allowed to come though was in judgment of another. It was a moment when I came to know something about myself and welcomed the beautiful moment of healing it offered. Reflecting on this now, feels like it was the beginning of my seeing others as they are – just like me. It has taken much longer to own how closed I was to others but that is changing. Thank you Bianca for sharing this experience, your honesty and the power of choice are evidence of the truth that we are all connected – we are all one. Everything has meaning and as you became aware of, offers a beautiful reflection to you.
This is a beautiful testimony Bianca of the fact that we all have the same essence no matter what we look like on the outside. To relate to people with this knowing can certainly be life changing as you have shared in this blog. Well done and thank you for sharing your experience with us all.
I agree Robynjones11, and we only have to look deep into each others eyes to know this one essence.
A deep look into the eyes is always a great way to see beyond the cover. Great point, Anna McCormack.
Very true Anna. The saying ‘the eyes are the window to the soul’ is so true and can be felt in this blog, your comment and life every day.
Bianca what a beautiful story to share, I would have been in the same situation at the start – judging because of the tattoos yet how arrogant and unloving is that. What’s clear in reading your story is that if we judge another we first disconnect from ourselves. Not only do they miss out on meeting us but we miss out on being us in the first place.
Plus it also confirms their hurt that they have been protecting. So no one is a winner when we disconnect from ourselves and others.
That is so true Lindellparlour. We are all constantly feeling if we are truly being met and seen for who we are. What a different experience we offer when we confirm rather than judge another. Feeling the effect this has on people is worth gold to me.
I totally agree Vicky. Meeting people with no judgement and allowing them to be who they naturally are and seeing them feel this in their own body is like you said gold.
When we drop judgment, jealousy and comparison, it’s incredible to find that pretty much every single person we meet has their own interesting and amazing story to tell. I love to people watch, and recently I was in New York (which is FULL of people!) and it was pretty cool to observe and take in the diversity, different cultures and variety of people walking the streets. It definitely gave me the same feeling of ‘brotherhood’ you talked about.
Me too. This sharing was brotherhood all over. Meeting another and listening to them from their experiences and life- without judgement. It was also awesome how Bianca was aware of her original reactions.
Completely agree Susie. When we drop judgement it’s so easy to tell that everyone of us is the same- just as awesome and amazing. We can learn so much from each other.
Absolutely Emily. And the thing that goes hand in hand with judgement is comparison and jealousy – they can be killers when it comes to opening up to people and learning from one another!
Super killers. I know my whole life is geared towards not wanting to feel jealousy- its an awful thing to feel. It is hard to be inspired by those around you if your mind is clouded by jealousy and comparing yourself. We’d be constantly inspired if judgement wasn’t around.
Me too Emily, and I notice this behaviour in a lot of people – the shutting down and minimalising of people’s beauty and power to avoid the intense force of jealousy they can sense would come their way if they ‘let it all out’ so to speak.
Yea true Susie. Most of us are doing it and we are all afraid of it. It’s interesting, maybe cause we know we do it to others and so can expect the same treatment back?
I love people watching also Susie, and feeling behind the picture, what is it that has made them who they are in that moment.
The oneness of us all , beautiful sharing Bianca so real and so true. Thank you for this sharing of the love we all are embracing, holding, magical and powerful in sharing this with another as a reflection and the light you are.
That is awesome Bianca, thank you for sharing. So often we can be so quick to judge someone because of the way they look. It is as if we are judging their past choices and not seeing their natural divine essence, which we all equally have. I certainly have made some horrendous choices this life and some great choices. So who am I to judge someone else. It reminds me a presentation Serge Benhayon gave when he said something along the lines that overweight people were often really sensitive, I then had a very overweight lady come into work and instead of allowing thoughts of wow she is morbidly obese, how could she have let herself get to that size etc.. to come in with the thoughts of judgement, I simply felt wow she is super sensitive. When we spoke I honoured this and it changed everything. It allowed her gorgeousness to come through and none of the judgmental thoughts could come in.
Beautiful James, your experience also is very touching and just confirming that within we are all one and the same.
This is very poignant, James to feel how present you were with this lady so none of those reactive and judgemental thoughts could enter. How lovely that your holding of her in this space of love allowed her innate gorgeousness to shine through. It feels like a true healing to me.
Great point James. When we let go of our judgements and open up to really letting ourselves be with a person without the judgement, we can then have understanding of the choices that we have made rather than holding them as less because of those choices. We then feel the oneness.
I agree Donna, it is amazing quite how much our judgments can get in the way of truly appreciating and actually being with other people.
This is great James, changing our judgements/perceptions changes our reality.
Thank you for reminding us of our interconnectedness and to never discount feeling connection, but to acknowledge and appreciate it. And I agree it all came back to you choosing to be connected with yourself first. What a beautiful learning of what we otherwise miss out on when we judge, react and harden. Connection is there when we so choose.
Just as I don’t like to be judged by how I look or what I wear… If I honor myself in that I can easily have access to honor others on the same level which is appreciation and respect for who we are: by our choices.
I like this Christinahecke, to go by how you would want others to treat you – in honour of who you are and not in judgement. The old saying – do unto others….
A beautiful blog Bianca, thank you. What I particularly loved about your sharing was that you came from a place of curiosity not judgement. This is such a valuable lesson for us all.
What a blessing and awesome connection for you both.
Well said Shirl.
That is awesome- I really love your sharing. What it does, if we just meet people without no judgement.. Truly beautiful how you could meet this man and how much you met yourself in this.
That is a gorgeous observation steffihenn – in meeting another, we meet ourselves.
Yes, that’s very true, our reaction to everyone we meet is a reflection of ourselves and how we are living. Any judgement shows us our own self critique and so every meeting offers us an opportunity to appreciate ourselves and all others more.
So true, we can meet another without judgement unless we are willing to drop the judgement of ourselves….so yes…to meet another we meet ourselves
So true that we meet ourselves when we meet another. And how exposing that any judgment we place on another is a reflection of the judgements we place on ourselves. A lot to ponder on in this blog.
Great comment Steffi, short and powerful….to simply meet people without judgement. This is definitely something I am working on, and the more I let go of my opinions, needs, biases etc, the more warmth and openness I feel in my relationships and connections with others.
When we meet people with no judgement, a lot less energy is consumed by both parties as we don’t spend / waste time and energy going through the judgement dance and we can simply be ourselves with each other.
I totally agree Steffihenn, how powerful it is to meet another with love. The old adage “As within so without” really does apply; how we are with ourselves has a knock on effect with how we are with others.
Thanks for this posting. I can relate to your tattoo experience. I too met someone a while ago who came to help me with some heavy gardening needed. On first meeting I could see he was a big muscly man, heavily tattooed and with an earring in one ear, reminding me of a merchant seamen, not someone with whom I would immediately feel comfortable with. Yet he is the most beautiful man with such a big heart. This experience really brought home to me the fact that you cant judge someone by their outward appearance. We are indeed all equal. It’s what is in our hearts that is truly important.
Bianca I loved reading your blog and how instantly we can judge outer appearances and then run with a story in our minds to confirm what we see, hardening our body in the process. It is something I used to do all the time (and can still catch myself doing) and how separative this feels now. I love the magical moment when the plane jolts you into bumping into his arm and how this brought you both together, we are always being supported to make brotherhood our natural way of living.
Lovely point to pick up on Alisonmoir, it is funny how we can literally be bumped together so we break down our self imposed barriers and connect with people. How often do we find that behind all the harsh exteriors and scary disguises lies a very tender gentle human being. Being able to read beneath the cover is definitely a worthwhile occupation!
“…we are always being supported to make brotherhood our natural way of living” Gold alisonmoir! – I can feel that this is absolutely true which makes it even crazier that we live in a world where abuse is rife. Your words remind me that brotherhood and equality are inevitable no matter how impossible that may seem at times.
I was deeply touched when I read this blog, it is absolutely divine in its simplicity and purpose. I was there, observing the meeting between you guys ad I felt the brotherhood. With all that is occurring in the world concerning separation and what people see as difference it is so important to connect with what is the same which is actually a great deal. We are all connected, we can feel it is hen we allow ourselves to, what impacts on another impacts on us and so when we connect the beauty and love felt in that, is felt by all.
Beautiful comment Samantha. To connect in the oneness rather than seeing the differences and going into protection.
So true Samantha. There is much more about each of us that is the same than there is that is different. It seems that the 2% that is different stands out so much more that we cannot see the 98% that is the same. I will endeavor to feel the oneness first before noticing the differences and build my connections with people from this.
Thank you for such a beautiful comment Samantha. Everything is felt by all, all the time, we are continually impacting each other, when we realise this choosing love is the only choice.
Thank you Bianca and Samantha, I agree, when we open up to anyone we all end up being deeply connected.
It does seem that initially on meeting someone who has a lot of tattoos my first reaction is to give that person a wide berth, and up until recently it never occurred to me that it was just another way to add a layer of protection and keep people out. This blog is a great example of how looks can be deceiving.
Absolutely Bianca and Julie, I agree, life is full of such sayings, e.g. ‘you have never walked in my shoes’, and ‘you can’t see the woods for the trees’. All these sayings take us away from allowing ourselves to feel first!
I loved reading your article Bianca, how beautiful to feel this oneness and to not be in judgement by this man’s outer appearance. I can feel how sometimes I can harden my body in protection, which then stops any connection with people and so does not work, it is lovely that you stayed open and connected in this way with him – very beautiful.
Gorgeous explanation Rebecca of how our hardening stops the possibly for connection.
So true Rebecca. For me it feels like the judgment comes first, which then leads to the feeling that I need to protect myself which results in a hardening and closing down. This then impacts on any further interaction as the barrier to openness that I have put up first has to be removed before a connection can be established. All this is based on the way a person looks and happens in a fraction of a second and then seems to take a long time to break down. Much simpler to remain open and non-judgmental from the outset.
Explained beautifully Lee, building a foundation of love and equality I find helps me see and feel when this judgment happens. The more I build this, the more I feel how far from love that feeling of hardness and judgment is, which then becomes easier to come back to love.
Yes, Rebecca, I have been guilty of hardening my body in protection when I am near a person who is heavily tattooed. It was a beautiful example Bianca has shared here of what we can discover when we stay open and connected and then connect with that tattooed person. So often under all the protection of the tattoos is a very sensitive beautiful person who has been hiding him/herself.
I can very much relate to this protection mechanism. I used to walk around with a solid, impenetrable armor around me. I did not use tattoos but I used to snub people, not really letting them come close.
This protection mechanism still plays out on more subtle levels today as you describe here in your blog. It is great to increase our awareness of it and make the choice to let go of this hardness as it does not serve anyone. Thank you Bianca for starting this discussion.
Bianca I loved reading your blog, and upon reading the last line “This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.” I could really feel your whole experience warm through my body, the absolute importance of understanding and appreciating the equality and oneness of us all, which embraces and holds another and that unifies us all completely.
This is a very interesting study Bianca, of how we relate to each other as equal fellow humans. Appearances are something we rely on heavily when we make contact and communicate, and when one encounters self-mutilation of some sort or another, whether it be tattooing or metal body piercing, we can almost feel the ‘pain’ of it and that is possibly what triggers the fight or flight response. Perhaps it is this feeling that demonstrates beyond all else that we are all interconnected? To actually overcome our initial prejudices, as you did, demonstrates love in action, and all the external distractions quickly become invisible. I wonder if and how a blind person might feel self-mutilation in others during a similar sort of encounter?
Great experience and sharing Bianca 🙂 I have found myself in this situation many times and have found it is an opportunity too to break down the beliefs I can hold around others. I used to work in a coffee shop and a guy would come in covered in tattoos up his neck and head and with facial piercings. He looked pretty scary but when I came to serve him he could barely look me in the eye as I took his order and was very softly spoken. I soon realised he was super sensitive and it was important to stay open, treat him as an equal and speak with him no matter how he looked.
Most days of the week when I travel home on the train there is this thin young man with a shaved head dressed for office work, always wearing a long sleeve shirt and wearing his headphones that gets on the same last car as I do. In the summer on hot days he rolls up his sleeves on the platform waiting for the train and displays a real jungle full of colours and creatures up both arms. One day he was wearing a thin white shirt and you could just make out that his back and chest were also well inked. I have had the urge to talk to him and ask about his ink… but he is never with out his headphones. It is evident he hides his inked arms at work. I feels like he is silently shouting stay away. I will catch him one day when he is not plugged in to find who is under the ink.
To be able to stay open to people who perhaps make us feel threatened is something I am going to work on from now on. I recently confronted a dog walker who’s dog had done its business on a lawn that I had to mow. He aggressively denied it was his dog that had done it and I started to feel quite threatened. He was obviously a body builder and he had tattoos all up his face and he had a huge dog. I suddenly realised how afraid of life this guy must have been to have to have all these things to keep people at bay and look so menacing. Underneath he was just like me but it was hard for me to see this at the time as I looked into the coldness of his eyes.
So true Bianca. I have a particular memory when I chose not to be put off by the outer appearances and discovered a connection and oneness. I was leading a conservation work party with a group of young men doing Community Service – one step away from being sent to prison. I worked beside them and talked to each one and one young lad had piercings all over his face and hair in dreadlocks and couldn’t look me in the face. Gradually as the day wore on and we worked together he began to open up and shared his story and I realised we were both the same but had made different choices in life.
I loved reading this Bianca as it was a confirmation of a similar event that I experienced some months ago while walking to work in the morning. I was just about to pass the driveway to the headquarters of a well known gang, only 200m from work, when a man in gang regalia walked out in front of me. For a split second I felt my step slow as if to walk behind him but then received the strongest impulse to step forward to walk next to him. As I turned towards him and said good morning I received the most beautiful, open smile back from him. We walked together so easily talking about the weather and the breakfast he was heading out to buy and as I got to my office door he once again gave me his beautiful smile and wished me a wonderful day. At that moment I could feel no difference between us, just two people who has just shared a most gentle and natural connection. And as with your beautiful moment: “This experience confirmed without a doubt the oneness that exists between us all.”
I love how you say that it is not about judging another person but about understanding that we each make choices every day of our lives. This feels important not only relating to another person but also towards oneself. I know for me I can judge myself about a choice or choices I have made instead of coming from a living understanding of myself.
Bianca, You are absolutely gorgeous and I soo loved what you have shared in this blog. This is super powerful and immensely healing…and just as a last little note, I love that you used the word ‘curious’ too, it is one of my favourite words lately as I feel the power it has to diffuse possibly tumultuous situations by keeping us open. Well Done!
Thank you Bianca I have had the same experience sitting next to someone and making the choice to open up to them even though outwardly very different looking. It changed the whole atmosphere and even those around us became more chatty and it showed how we are all truly connected. Great to take this into other activities even when not so confined in a seat on a plane!
I find it fascinating that many of the lines like “don’t judge a book by its cover” etc that we have learned are very largely NOT lives by people everyday. You have shared a great example of a living wisdom.
This is absolutely Gorgeous Bianca, loved the whole blog. And what I have really learned from this is the power in speaking lovingly and equally with another person, feeling the warm hum and oneness as you have described. If it was me I knew I would have been hesitant to say I have no tattoos and that I have never considered it. But what I have learned form this is that without judging, or comparing ourselves we can relate equally and not even compare physical features, but rather see the being underneath and realise that life is full of choices.
Bianca I loved reading your blog and the reminder that we are indeed all one. The judgements that we hold keep us feeling separate and magic can happen when we drop those judgements, reconnect and feel the beauty of ourselves and that same beauty in another.
I also have a tendency to ‘judge a book by its cover’. Not only people, but places, landscapes, voices, etc. What I am learning to do is to feel, feel the truth. Something may look or sound beautiful, but be devoid of love and this can be felt. Something may not look or sound ‘perfect’ but the warmth and love emanating from it can be truly healing. This is a work in progress for me, but I am learning to see (pun intended) how I can be deceived by my eyes and ears if I am not present and willing to feel all that is there to feel.
I so agree Carmin, what you are saying here shows how important our sixth sense – the feeling energy sense is. It completely changes our perspective.
Thank you very much Bianca for this beautiful sharing. It is really hard not to judge myself and others from the choices we make and how we look to the outside world if I am not connected with myself and the grandness of who we truly are. As I write, I am beginning to feel how using only 5 senses is really just sensory, and never is feeling, nor allowing us to appreciate anything and anyone in its fullness. I fall into this very often, and I can totally relate to the hardness you described and I understand how this has prevented me from enjoying what the world has been offering me. Thank you, Bianca.
When we make life about the visual impressions that our eyeballs receive then we are always at the mercy of the very surface of things. We avoid the gentle man who is hiding behind tats and tough “don’t mess with me walk”. We fall for the slick person, all polished and shiny with the nice hair and good teeth, but what lies underneath? Perhaps it is equally beautiful but perhaps it is not.
I am blessed to have a job that allows me to get to know people, to become acquainted with those I might otherwise avoid if I allowed my judgments to get in the way. I have ever been surprised and humbled by the beauty in people.
I still work on my tendency to judge, so sneaky and subtle that it stills claims me at times – makes me a slave to my eyeballs rather than my knowing and open heart.
My job offers the same blessing just because of the amount of people I get to know very closely in a very short time. It is always a teaching and a beauty to feel, how I sometimes get tricked by the look of people. That allows me to deepen love.
I love what you share in your blog Bianca, as it is so true that we do indeed judge others by their appearance, and have this whole scenario going on in our heads around what we think we are seeing about them. And it’s not just strangers that we do this with, as we can do this with those close to us but in a more subtle and definitely more righteous way and judge them for the choices they are making in their lives, forgetting that inside they are just as we are, gorgeous and equal in every way.
Lovely to read your story Bianca reminding us of the magic that happens when we are open and willing to connect to others.
Don’t you just LOVE Brotherhood (!!!!) Great relatable example with those we meet who might be inked, and our reactions towards this. Nowadays inking happens at the corporate personnel level with many Directors (and other senior levels) having tattoos, showing through clothing. Just goes to show that the level of protection we reside behind is title, position, profession and job-less – the biker or sailor the same as the chief executive, HR, or investment banker.
So true Zofia, it is interesting to observe how everyone has their own way of protecting themselves and how when looked at from an energetic point of view there is no real difference between one form of protection and another, because it is all the same energetically.
Brotherhood is achieved when we can let go of all these forms of protection and do what Bianca shares here so beautifully – that is to let each other in.
This is so lovely I could feel my heart opening and letting go as I was reading, thank you. And I loved this ‘As I sat there I pondered on this situation. “Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?” The answer was almost immediate – I could feel that he was just like me.’ We are indeed all One 💖
Hello Bianca Barban, I love this and such a great message for us all. The old saying “never judge a book by it’s cover” I must say I used to use it as just that, a saying. Now and as you describe it is a way to live and being open with everyone you meet no matter what their colour. We are all just people and as you have quoted from Serge Benhayon “BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
[Esoteric Teachings and Revelations pg. 410 (1)].
When we judge appearances it’s like we’re projecting something onto someone, a pre-conceived picture of how they are or the situation is (regardless of if it is true or not), whereas understanding brings an openness and equality.
Judgement really gets in the way of us actually seeing the other person for who they are. Therefore as you say, ‘…it’s like we’re projecting something onto someone, a pre-conceived picture of how they are or the situation is (regardless of if it is true or not)…”
It’s beautiful when we transcend the details of life to simply go to the heart of the person and connect. We all have things we do to build up a wall against one another, and different details about the surface of human beings that bother us. Yet, there is this commonality, we are all human beings with human experiences – we can definitely relate. What was great Bianca was the level of detail you felt in your body, the hardening that signalled a reaction inside yourself which you then chose to explore leading to this wonderful interaction.
I went to the dry cleaners yesterday to drop off my husband’s shirts. My husband has made a lovely connection with the man, who runs the business. Now I could have slipped in and out, without saying anything to him apart from a hello. However I decided to introduce myself and explained that I was Lee’s wife. His face immediately lit up and he started talking about Lee and asking where he was and asking how he was etc. Our exchange over the counter lasted a few more minutes than was necessary but it felt lovely to have opened up to each other. I can see why Lee loves taking his ironing and dry cleaning to this particular business.
This was just gorgeous to read. I could feel the connection between you both. I also loved how in the very beginning you asked yourself what could you learn from this?
Bianca that is such a great story – so beautiful to feel the loveliness of the connection between you instead of a wall and all the judgements that build it.
Such confirmation here of how we being with ourselves changes what can unfold with others and not underestimating this. So noteworthy the conversation was able to touch on the trigger for the first tattoo, the honest response and the healing that is on offer for all when we really do embrace our oneness and shared particles.
But what if we lived in such a way that we are always open to people, not on such a hair-trigger to judge? That truly is our innate state, and one in which we are not so readily fooled. There is pure gold in so many people, yet it does not always shine the way we think it should. When we are judgemental we miss the opportunity to see and feel their true nature. There is also a lot of of glitter and sparkle out there that can draw us in, yet underneath it all there is very little by way of true substance. When we are closed to people we can get drawn in by the sparkles and miss the hollowness. This is not judgement, rather real discernment and we are all capable of this understanding.
I love how you asked yourself “Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?” This is such a beautiful question to ask when we find ourselves in a situation that we perceive as less than ideal.
I asked myself this question, though after the fact, when meeting with someone and the answer, though too late for that meeting, is supporting me in many other similar meetings and knocking out some long- held judgments based on past hurts which I’m bringing a grander awareness to. And, upon writing this, an awareness that I could go much deeper still.
Thank you Bianca. I very much appreciate the opportunity to read about your experience. This blog allows me to appreciate how much the presentations given by Serge Benhayon have supported me to feel the true essence of myself and others.
Bianca you are simply gorgeous, as too is the man in your story. What I love about your experience is that by feeling your body and noting whether it felt hard or surrendered you were able to know whether you were being hard and protected or judgmental yourself or simply allowing your own fragility and therefore meeting another person with this same quality. This is a true testament to life being about connection with ourselves and then with others. When we begin with ourselves, we can’t help but feel the one source of love we are all from.
Bianca, such a great experiment you did, to see that we are all the same, and if we keep affirming that we allow the space for the openness you show here and the connection you had because of it. There’s such a joy to connecting to us which than allows us to connect to others and to understand that no matter what they present, they are just like us.
Bianca this is such a lovely blog. I love that when we open our hearts we feel the truth that we are indeed all one. I love it when I’m able to observe judgments because then I can choose love instead so not give them any credence. Becoming more aware of what judgments and being righteous feels like is great as they instantly take me away from love.
I love the way you took this opportunity to connect with a fellow passenger without letting any prejudices or reservations come in; after all, we are all the same within and it is great to remember this always.
Often the hardest of exteriors covers the most sensitive delicate beauty. Love has a way of breaking through all our shields.
Bianca, what a beautiful exchange of love and understanding you have shared with us. I am truly inspired by your own tenderness and willingness to be open. What you said about our particles and our oneness is a great confirmation of true brotherhood – truly inspiring! Thank you for sharing this.
How often am I in situations where I am in close proximity with strangers and I make an immediate judgment based on my own level of perceived needed protection? I have even felt myself doing this ‘protection game’ when around people I know, colleagues and even family. I love how relatable this blog is and how easy it is to make the choice not to play the game but to stay open and free to experiencing what is there on offer.
I remember clearly the incredible Universal Medicine presentation where they talked about the particles in our body and the interconnectedness of them. The separation we see is only through our perception. How beautiful for this man to sit next to you and feel not only that he was not judged for his appearance but that you silently communicated that oneness to him through your understanding and appreciation of that being the truth.
Particles can certainly be the invisible healers.
hi Bianca, I have a bank manager with tattoo sleeves and large ear piercings and at first I found it hard to concentrate on what she was saying as I was too busy looking at them. But after a few minutes I realised I was putting her looks before the conversation and once I started to connect with her she started talking to me about her tattoos etc I found she was a lovely sensitive person and I now enjoy meeting her and don’t ‘see’ the tattoos anymore.
Catching myself having a thought arise in judgment towards others and I laugh with the response—hey that’s not from me! For the true me knows and breathes Equality. The more I feel the connection (Oneness) with myself, the less room there is for these thoughts to invade, and Oneness is then lived more consistently with others.
Bianca, I love the point you made about curiosity. I always find humanity to be amazingly interesting, curiosity and wonder floods my cells when I meet people, as we can be expressing in such diverse ways and I feel much closer to everyone when there is understanding in how they express and why they choose the way they express, as this allows myself then a deeper understanding of us as well.
Brotherhood: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One. I love this definition of brotherhood, as it is exactly how it is known within the body. Everyone of us is unique in our expression, but we are equal in our expression, and only when we are expressing together in Unity, will humanity be.
Once I pulled up at a petrol station and there was a bikey gang hanging out at the pumps, at the entrance of the shop and basically all around. They were a scary looking crew and well, we all know what violent shenanigans they get up to. I felt trepidation to leave the car so I sat there looking at them. Like you Bianca, I was no longer fearful, no longer judging them, just curious about them. In this non-judgemental, non-protective state I started feeling the deep sadness in one of them, the young lost soul who was happy to belong to a group in another, murder in another, anger in the next and so on. I kept observing and eventually the loveliest thing occurred. I could feel the beauty in them. They were gorgeous men deep down inside, they were equal in essence to all others and I could feel the warm Oneness in me just as you describe Bianca. It’s true we are all One, we are just behaving as if we are not because things have happened to us and we have forgotten!
I have had the absolute honour of treating such men that seem to be so tough and brutalised. When they lie down in the dental chair, they are tender as little boys and just as needing of care and gentleness. If I fell for the exterior that need could be overlooked altogether. Sometimes they are brought undone by shame at their intense fear, but never are they judged for that. We are all made of the same tissues, sensitised by the same nervous system…all from the same particles.
Who would have thought how equalising dentistry is, and how revealing of the fact that we are one.
The truth that we are all One is everywhere Rachel, even dentistry lol! it is just hard to remember when everything in our education system is designed to promote individualism through comparison and competition. One of the greatest gifts Serge Benhayon delivers is the Wisdom of Oneness and the tools that help us feel this truth for ourselves.
Beautiful to feel the truth in your sharing dentistryinharmony, “We are all made of the same tissues, sensitised by the same nervous system…all from the same particles.” How fortunate your clients are to be met with such love and understanding.
I love what you are both sharing here Jeanettegold and Rachel. We all have opportunities everyday such as these in our work in seemingly everyday moments. Our choice to observe really allows us to see the truth of a situation, a person so that we see we are not the facades that we put up. We are all equally tender and sensitive as each other, which is very beautiful.
Yes and lately this is really hitting home for me with some people I am working with who are very orthodox religious. Through spending extended periods of time with them in their home I have realised that I harbour a significant issue with religions, all of them, because of the vast past devastation they have reeked, and that which they continue to do if we are honest about it. My clients are silently calling me back to a higher level of non-judgemental, more unconditional acceptance of others and their choices but also, and more importantly in this case to connect to and communicate with their equal essence. When I do this there are, temporarily, no religious barriers, just Oneness, and it’s miraculous the progress we make during these times.
Imagine if we could see the play of our particles, the energy that is dancing between us as we go through our day. We are actually communicating in this way in every moment, it is amazing to feel that, and also to consider the quality of what we are communicating. Love the quote here…
“BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.”
[Esoteric Teachings and Revelations pg. 410 (1)]
Bianca, you have broken down yet another barrier we perceive is there between us and another person. Such a beautiful experience to go way out to the big scientific truth where no tattoo or other self identifying markers exists and we recognise each other for our oneness. Brotherhood understood! Thank you.
A very inspiring sharing Bianca – thank you. We can be very quick to judge others by how they look, how they present to the world, but most of the time what is presented is just a protection covering a past hurt, and not the true person. And our judgement is often a distraction from feeling and or dealing with our own past hurts, and what is going on inside for us too.
Great point, we are super fast in judging and critizing others instead of feeling what we are avoiding to look at. It shows as well how judging we are towards ourselves first…
Yes Paula, judgement is a form of comfort that distracts us from living all that we are.
Great Truth spoken fionacochran01, ouch!
… Or distracts us from feeling how terrible it is to not be living all that we are.
What a great experience. I like how you stopped yourself from being swayed by the tattooed cover through checking your descent into judgment and instead connecting to you. Life has a habit of flowing and opening up possibilities when we stop ourselves from judging and instead see people as a product of their choices.
Great point you make Cathy Hackett, very true that the experiences or situations we find ourselves do seem to be designed to present 2 choices: – to either ingrain the ill way of being or 2. an opportunity to review and dissolve something as Bianca’s story shows. Always are we being rhythmically moved in free-will back to Oneness. Beautiful.
Great story Bianca! I have had so many similar experiences like this. Everyone is really after just one thing – to connect with others, even when they do all that they can to protect themselves from people. I have done, in fact I still do it. I have no tatoos, but my energy can often be read by someone else that screams ‘ back off, I’m not interested, leave me alone’. Really all I’m craving in those moments is to connect with another and be reminded that everything is ok.
That is gorgeous Elodie and so true – the tattoo shield is the same as the invisible ‘back off’ shield I use to keep others at a distance.
Elodie the crazy thing is we are all already connected to each other. We all already have an intimate connection built on love, it’s just that we all work incredibly hard all of the time to make it feel like we don’t. We are craving what we already have, it’s madness.
A beautiful confirmation of our oneness Bianca. It is amazing the many and varied ways we can build layers of protection, while all we truly want is to connect with each other.
I agree Victoria. And whilst most of the World ‘plays ball’ with the protection, you have shown another way Bianca – one that calls us all back to the oneness we crave.
The gentle breath is such the antidote to hardness. It is a miracle that you can do for free at any time. It melts you and then allows you to be open to the magic of connection and the magic of oneness. Thank you for sharing such an inspiring story.
This is a beautiful example of how we are always connected through that what we all are. I love you example and can feel with me connecting more to my body, I have much more loving connections with people without any judgement possible, just connecting and sharing what is there to be said. Very beautiful, thank you Bianca.
How have we come to this place between us as people where judgement is something we have to actually work to not do. This is something I experience as well and see others struggle with it too. It is this embedded behaviour. I love that there are people out in the world who genuinely do not judge, this must be the beginning of the end for judgment.
This is really lovely Bianca, a little something for all of us I think. I can feel how much I have judged others on their appearance and also how much I have missed out on. Being able to feel how everyone is equal and connect with that truth, allows what is there and as you have written, the outer appearance is not always a mirror image of what is within.
Bianca what you have shared has touched me deeply as I would have also avoided connecting with someone i had assessed or judged as being scary. You have offered a deepening that we always have a choose to make life about connection and the understanding we are all the same within us no matter what we look like or how we are behaving.
“There was no judgement in my reply, no arrogance that I was better than him because I didn’t have tatoos but an understanding that we each make choices everyday of our lifes.” How often do we instantly judge one another because of our “covers”.
This is such a beautiful sharing!
what a great experience that you have shared here Bianca. The beautiful resonates of being all connected and all the same underneath our exterior coats, in all their difference in appearances. It is lovely to be able to connect without any feeling of separation as for in truth, like you share, we are all of the same quality and are equal in brotherhood.
This is awesome Bianca and made me well up with tears reading it. When we are open to all no matter what the world opens up in amazingly beautiful ways and I love that. When we let everyone in its like a beautiful domino effect of connections comes forth. I love that.
So beautiful Bianca, what a gift. I too am finding that the more I connect with myself, the more my judgements about other people are dissolving. We use so many things to shield ourselves from people, tattoos and body piercing being two good examples. But when we choose to we can go so much deeper than the cover and discover that underneath the armour is a really tender, gorgeous person that is just the same as us.
The teaching of don’t judge a book by its cover I feel talks about how we put our perceptions onto people based on our life experiences and that these might not be the truth of the situation. That the eyes that we are seeing with might have a filter over them based on our hurts and this doesn’t allow us to truly see what is there. The teachings of Universal Medicine have supported me to see how I can judge or be guarded with people based on my past hurts and experiences.
Thank you Bianca – this is a lovely lesson on how to override judgement by simply connecting to the body. Apart from providing you with an opportunity to engage with another person, you discovered more about this person and why he had a tattoo in the first place. Who knows what affect you may have had on his day.
I recall a quote on the lines of, ‘when I hear another’s story, how can I not help but love them’. It seems this was the case on your journey.
Gorgeous Bianca, thank you for sharing this story, beautifully reminding me that in one choice so much can open up for us when that choice is to stay connected to our bodies. Equally with the choice to disconnect we miss the opportunity to evolve that awaits us in each moment.
It is so easy to get into judgements and expectations by what we see on the surface. Thank you for sharing, Bianca, how you did not allow your pre-judgements rule and instead to open your heart. It is so amazing when we do that.
Bianca, I love that you were fully present in the moment and chose to look at how you were reacting, or being in the situation. That you reconnected to your gentle breath and body and that this opened up the possibility of true connection between you. I am finding this more and more in many situations in life. The World is opening up from once me being very separate from it all, from my own reaction to life and yes, there is no difference between every single one of us. At our essence we are one and the same.
Bianca, I can appreciate the point you are making here. I have always been quick to judge others, actually taking a pride in the way I thought I could quickly and accurately read others just by their appearance, behaviour or what they said. Sometimes I assessed someone as being better than me and sometimes less than me. There was a pecking order and in my mind I could put some on a pedestal as way above me or be quite scathing with others. Of course all of this was based on outer perceptions and what I didn’t realise was just how toxic it was to my body and the flow of energy between myself and the other person. There was definitely no meeting the other with an understanding of the basic equality between us. As I have been working on re-connecting to my own sense of self worth and love, the way I interact with others has changed. The capacity to be open to and with others has opened up some incredible moments that I would otherwise has missed, not to mention being much easier on my body.
Same here Helen, I too would have judged and realise now with what I have read, that we actually miss out on the person for who they truly are when we come with all of our defences. The opportunity to hold another in love is lost and there is no brotherhood in that. Such a gorgeous blog that Bianca has presented.
Your words remind me Bianca how ‘we are all one’ is a phrase that is easily said, but a deeply divine and beautiful thing to actually live and feel in our body.
Bianca, there is something about this blog that sits very well with me; it is heartwarming. I can feel the brotherhood, the oneness, the vulnerability, the tenderness … it brings tears to my eyes because I can feel inside how much love I have for humanity. A gorgeous encounter indeed.
Bianca this sharing is so beautiful and tender and also exquisitely powerful. What a great reminder “our particles are all one”. Even the tiniest amount of harshness at self or another has all the same cause and affect. We are all so precious no matter what. I love the bit where a little turbulence got you connecting … what a great sense of humor the divine has.
What a beautiful sharing Bianca. I can also relate to what you share. For many years I use to judge people for their outer cover and I had people judge me. Like you, having the understanding now that we are all equal in particles, I am more open. Now if I feel a hardening, I stop and feel what I am being shown. This really opens up what is being presented and allows space for open communication. I find we under estimate that everyone is tender and loving and under the hard exterior. Due to different choices, our paths are different
This is so beautiful to feel and read Bianca and such a great reminder that inside, we are all the same, and that our outer presentation is a result of our individual choices.
Bianca thank you for this gorgeous reminder of our oneness and how when we judge there is no chance for us to feel this. The openness and sincere interest and curiosity you shared with him feels beautiful and very inspiring. No wonder his tenderness became visible in that moment for you offered him a moment of being absolutely left to be as you were being connected to your essence.
I agreed Carolien, its made me realise just how much I keep people out through judgement and just how much I am missing out on them. The hardness and protection of judgement acts as a deterrent whereas our tenderness, connection and openness brings back the oneness we are all craving. Very beautiful.
I feel the same Donna, I have used knowledge and judgement as a protection against what I think will hurt me but what I really am shutting out is the love and beauty that can be seen and felt in every single person. I have spent much time protecting me from all I did not want to feel but the less pleasant feelings are small compared to the gorgeousness of our essences.
I can absolutely relate to what you are sharing. When I work on set shooting there are with every movie so many different people, hard working men, tattooed – hair and make-up stylists very exalting. And it is a great pleasure to meet every one of them in their quality. It is always bringing something new into my or their life and the base we share is the oneness from the heart. I love it!
Bianca, I loved the words ‘the sameness between him and me’ How beautiful when we start off with feeling this sameness first instead of the differences?
This is a beautiful sharing how we constantly put each other into boxes by the judgement and value we give to the external appearance of a person. Knowing that we are all one, it is quite shocking to realize how much effort we put into creating constantly separation by identifying ourselves as individuals with this absurd need to be different. What a waste of energy!
Such a waste of energy Rachel, to fight something that does not exist or deliberately create barriers to continue the separation. When I feel this, I feel how exhausting it is because it goes against what is our true nature!!
It is truly joyous when we connect to others without any judgement getting in the way and just being and sharing ourselves…. every-one gets a blessing; the blessing of connection.
This is such a magic moment Bianca and one that all of us can experience if we choose to be fully connected to ourselves, thus more open to others and without judgment. I could feel true brotherhood in my heart as I read what you have shared . Thank you.
I agree, Anne. The key is to be fully connected with ourselves when interacting with another. From there, no judgment can come into the interaction, so that the feeling of that oneness that we truly are can come through. That is true brotherhood.
What a beautiful confirming Blog Bianca of the oneness of all of us. A real joy to feel the gift of simply being ourselves in our fullness without judgement.That conversation on the airplane feels so lovely and makes being who we all are, the oneness of our particles, make sense. Allowing another the space to open up and express truly is a gift as you found and brings a real joy inside to experience this.
The Truth Has Been Spoken – thank you Bianca Barban as in Truth no matter what we look like we ARE One and the same. You write about this experience so eloquently. You were both clearly blessed to have sat next to each other that day and it may have been a life-changing moment for both of you.
This is beautiful Bianca, a true confirmation that we are all one. I often have a feeling that something is going to happen and then it does, another confirmation that everything is energy and we are all connected by this web, or sea of light particles, awesome! Thank you for sharing your journey on the plane and making the choice to open yourself up to love without judgement.
Wow Bianca, the openess you describe in feeling we are all the same is as an equaliser and makes everyday life such a joy. It makes such a difference in my body when i come from ‘we are all the same’ or from ‘my choice are better than yours, look at you”. When I let go of the judgements my body is very grateful to me for choosing the connection.
Super cool Bianca and very inspiring to read your blog. Thank you.
“As we disembarked the plane I said goodbye and thanked him for the conversation. He smiled warmly and said “It was nice to meet you.” I could feel there was a tenderness within him that he kept hidden away and that his tattoos offered him a shield to keep people at a distance. I took a moment to appreciate that by being connected to myself, I was able to be open and the real me with him.”. How Full of Grace this moment was. I could feel how you held the Man in Love and Warmth and how the two of you were indeed One. I also see and feel more and more that people are so hurt that they use all different sort of vices to numb and / or distract themselves. This is opening my heart more and more and I am realising and starting to be more honest how judgemental and hard I’ve been all my life. And how people – including myself – are actually CRAVING for Love. There is much said in silence. Thank you Bianca. On different levels for me very healing. As a Man and as a Human Being experiencing difficulties in this hard world.
Bianca, thank you for sharing this, the warmth and equalness is absolutely felt.
How amazing to be aware of the judgement and hardness you went into but by your own loving choice to reconnect back to you, your breath, your body you were easily able to connect with this tender man and be in the oneness. “BROTHERHOOD: Others make a part of you, you make a part of them. All together, we make One.” Beautiful Serge Benhayon quote, I’d not read that before, it’s gorgeous. I love the moment of healing we are constantly offered if we’re open to them. I’m greatly inspired reading this, thank you for sharing Bianca.
Wow Bianca, thank you for making this oneness graspable by sharing your experiences. Isn’t it strange how many amazing stories we miss because we rejected the covers?
Well said Michael. So true. And in saying that, it makes me realise how many times I have rejected myself and missed out on being able to share who I am with another because of my lack of willingness to be open.
I think you nailed it Michael, in saying Bianca has made this oneness ‘graspable’. So much so I shall put this blog on Facebook because I know so many people will get it and be able to take something for themselves out of it.
“Isn’t it strange how many amazing stories we miss because we rejected the covers?” – What a beautiful line Michael! It is strange indeed, and quite sad to reflect on what we have missed while falling for the separation of “difference”.
This experience feels so open and free and confirming of how powerful it is to let EVERYONE in. No protection, no guards, we are all the same and reflect a beautiful expression of beauty and Love that shows a different expression of the same Love from God. This is amazing to appreciate and experience!
This is so gorgeous to read Biance and so timely as I had a similar experience not that long ago. Feeling that we are all the same inside is the most beautiful thing I know. I have been living very protected for a long time but I am now more and more getting to know and accept myself which helps me enormously with connecting with others without a guard. Like you said: “I took a moment to appreciate that by being connected to myself, I was able to be open and the real me with him.”
Thank you Bianca, I love how you replied that you did not have tattoos and that there was no judgement in it or you feeling better. There is no such thing as being better, it is like you say, that we all make different choices and all those choices make up for where we are now in life. With or without tattoos, we are all the same.
So true Mariette, when we buy into the illusion of “better”, we simply keep ourselves further apart from everyone – making it harder to truly connect. Missing this connection we then have to strive to fill this space, usually with something else intended to make us feel “better”. Allowing ourselves to see that we are all the same, simply making different choices brings this crazy cycle of “better” to an end.
Absolutely Hannah, the feeling of better or thinking that somebody else knows better or is ‘more’ is very dis-empowering. I can see how often I have given my power away, just because I think that somebody else is better or more evolved than me. I am learning that I always have to feel for myself first and also to trust myself more. When that feeling of better is there, it creates a distance and like you say, there is no true connection. It also shows that when I think others are better, there are also moments that I feel better. It plays out in both ways.
Bianca, what a lovely sharing of how we can connect with others. I smiled when I read that when you were contemplating the oneness between you, there was turbulence and a physical connection that led to a deeper communication. Don’t you just love the way connection works?
I liked this too catherine, the magic of oneness in motion! Imagine if we always saw the situation we ‘happened’ to find ourselves in actually something we needed to learn something from, asking ourselves the same question as Bianca did, ““Why was I sitting next to this man? What is here for me to learn?”” We’re forever being put into situations that we can learn from, what a great philosophy of life.
Tattoos, body piercings, unusual hair styles, (shapes and colours), are no different from the tight perm, the blue rinse, the heavily applied make-up, the attachments to style of dress, all are a layer of protection that give the signal “keep away”, except for those who are part of that group. The “wearers” probably do not know consciously the message they are putting out. I am aware of all these differing groups moving through life in their own separate streams, and yet, as you discovered Bianca, in your beautiful exchange with your fellow traveler, we are all one, and there is always a place we can meet and communicate, our inner hearts. Then the outer “garments ” are not important, and lose their threat. How judgment tarnishes that bright light of Love, yet Love lived and expressed can bring it to nought.
Oh Joan that is just beautiful – “How judgment tarnishes that bright light of Love, yet Love lived and expressed can bring it to nought.” – and so very true. Thank you!
Hello Joan Calder, I agree and some “layers of protection” are more obvious than others. So the tattoos etc are easy to see but others of us use more hidden forms, being nice, quiet, good looking etc or titles can also be used. Some of us wear our protection on the outside to keep others away but others are more subtle. All protection and truly no different. But truly connect with yourself and others and ‘truly’ there is no difference. I loved this blog, thank you Joan and Bianca.
Wow thats such a great reminder that we are the same. No one is different no matter what the appearance or shield or protection that’s put up. Great observation Bianca
To begin to see ourselves as one humanity, all part of the same, would stop so many world problems. In hardening and shutting our selves off from others and what is going on lets these separate ways of being fester and become the crisis we now face. I love how simple it can be though, as with Biancas tale.
Simplicity indeed Laura. Imagine if every one of those people on the plane were having beautiful and meaningful conversations with their fellow travellers too? What would that plane have felt like to be in? Very special I think.
So beautiful Bianca, it is so true once we meet ourselves we meet others and from there on our love will grow ~ this reminds me of true brotherhood, a brotherhood that is for all.
Bianca thank you, I love what you’ve shared and particularly the process you took yourself through to feel the sameness between you both… very inspiring and very helpful!
Yes I agree Jenny and Bianca. The process of recognising you hardened your body and then took steps to stop that and reconnect and become gentle again is very inspiring, a ‘how-to’ guide for travellers!
Yes love it Suzanne… a ‘how-to’ guide for travelling through life actually.
That’s fantastic Jenny and Suzanne, and just having the awareness you can choose to surrender to the oneness is all that is really needed. It is then your choice always the more awareness you have.
And when you allow yourself to feel the connection there is with everything around you this gives the other person the freedom from having to perform by the outer cover(s) they have gotten themselves into. Thanks for your sharing Bianca.
I learnt a lot from this story. I have been in the very situation where I have avoided another based on their appearances. And likewise, I have dressed or even looked at someone a certain way to keep them from trying to talk to me. It is fascinating how we can manipulate our bodies to prevent getting close to people. But as is so truly described here, appearances are skin deep, and underneath we are all the same.
Simple science at play. Thank you Bianca for sharing our oneness.
Underneath everything we are ‘all’ always the same, and when we are aware, accept and appreciate this, and begin to work and live together in the knowingness of this, our current world as we know it, cannot help but change to reflect this unity.
So well said, and the best part of the connection for me is the level of tenderness and sweetness that is received when we do truly connect to others in and from this way of equalness.
Lovely story Bianca, how often do we shut people out because of how they look and sometimes how they feel. I love how you have felt beyond the outer and connected to something deeper in all of us
How often do we feel the shutting out or closed body language of another person and then make a choice to hold our own openness back too. When we do this no one is presented the opportunity to know the true connection that is already possible.
Yes, it’s very common and quicker than we think and register we have judged someone Joel. I find it’s takes a lot more commitment and responsibility to stay with me and keep my thoughts abound from traveling outside of me to another when I’m hurting.