While having an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM), it dawned on me in the middle of the session, – that this healing modality might not be considered by some as normal!
I lay there imagining what someone might think if they burst in on my session. Considering our modern day society, I feel many of us would agree that a woman massaging another woman’s breast tissue – even performed gently with no sexual connotations –may not be considered as ‘normal’. And so, because the outcome of every single Esoteric Breast Massage I have ever had has always been exquisitely supportive and has felt like I was giving myself the gift of clarity and wisdom, a truly self-loving experience in many ways, I began to ponder on what actually is ‘normal’.
The Oxford dictionary defines normal as being that which “conforms to a standard: usual, typical or expected.” (1)
But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?
What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking. It is normal to see a fist fight outside a pub at midnight. It is typical to drink alcohol every day of the week. It is expected for many Muslim women to wear a veil over their face. It is normal to see men and or women sleeping around; it is typical for people to expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems; it is expected that mothers put their children first, before themselves. And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.
What this very basic insight highlights is that these are behaviours that not everyone does or would even consider doing themselves, yet they are ordinary, commonplace and quite conventional actions for some people.
So the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody. And yet in our society we accept and even champion behaviours based on what we deem is normal.
How does something become normal in society? New behaviours are performed by a group of people and when enough people are exhibiting that behaviour, it can then be accepted. It doesn’t even have to be the majority who either exhibit the behaviour or who accept it. However, it is considered normal because it is a behaviour that is typical or expected by a particular group. Once behaviour is repeated, it easily achieves the ‘normal’ tag.
Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?
To get away with a behaviour that says if enough people do it, then by virtue of the numbers of people doing it, that then can become the new normal. But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?
Is ‘normal’ what we should be aspiring to?
If we are so fixated on being normal so we can judge others and ourselves and establish where we fit into society, then it is most decidedly time to create a new normal. Yes, the world dictates what is normal, but should it be this way? Should the world be allowed to name, assess, criticize, judge, disapprove and then condemn so-called normal behaviours?
Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal?
What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?
What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.
Written from living the inspirational teachings of Universal Medicine, Serge Benhayon and Esoteric Breast Massage practitioners worldwide.
By Suzanne Anderssen, Brisbane, Australia
References:
(1) http://www.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/english/normal
Further Reading:
Change your Life
Society’s Truth-Tellers Will Always Challenge The Status Quo
Words on Serge Benhayon 
Words have always been taken away from the energetic truth as those who have controlled at present as in the past do not want the truth to be shared openly.
Having An Esoteric Breast Massage has always been very restoring and healing for me, to reconnect with my natural tenderness and beauty as a woman. So in appearance may seems it’s not normal, but to me it is. Not common perhaps but something that I deeply appreciate.
I agree with you Inma that having an Esoteric Breast Massage is very restoring for a woman’s body. Actually it is not the breast that receives the massage but the areas around the breast, so we could say it is a chest massage because the actual breast is not touched at all. The EBM gives a woman the opportunity to stop just for a moment to just be with themselves which women don’t usually find the time to do during the day because women are constantly fed the ideals and beliefs that they have to put others first before themselves, so there is never enough time in the day seemingly for women to stop and just have some time to be.
Thank you Suzanne. Your sharing says to me ‘Live your way’ free of pictures and rules about how your life should or shouldn’t be. ‘Embrace your beauty, connect with your sensitivity and listen within what’s your normal’.
Judging, gossiping and critizising others on media has become normal simply because everyone seems having the right to do it. But to me this is not a respecful way of being with each other, it shouldn’t be normal, even the majority is considering as normal the possibility of talking about someone in a critical mode or throwing false accusations, creating stories without cheking first if it’s true or not… Feels like we have forgotten that we are brothers and sisters, who deep down inside we carry a beingness that is so sensitive and loving by nature. If we have came so far this means we have lost the true connection with ourselves and each other, which is there to be restored and lived for all again.
Our ‘normal’ is where it is at as a result of us being shut down to a true value, a standard that we originally belonged to, but instead numbing ourselves and lowering our standard to say ‘yes’ with no discernment. I feel ‘being open’ is sometimes reinterpreted to mean ‘anything goes’ – and that ‘anything’ can include being totally judgemental and annihilating of others.
“It is normal to see men and or women sleeping around; it is typical for people to expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems; it is expected that mothers put their children first, before themselves. And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.” Oh my when you put it like this it is easy to see how warped this life is.
“Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” Its not only possible it is true – we have as a society and as race got it very wrong.
When the earth was flat that was considered normal and some still believe in the earth being flat, go figure? All the Esoteric modalities are practical tool for our healing and will one day be considered natural and or normal.
Gregbarnes888 not only was the earth considered flat it was considered that anyone who spoke out and suggested or proved that the earth wasn’t flat was ridiculed and put under constraint. In the same way that it was heresy to say that the earth revolved around the sun. It’s the same energy being used today to control and manipulate humanity as it was hundreds of years ago by the establishment that we have allowed to become out of control.
Thank you Mary as it is important to expose the lies and corruption, as it is running amuck at the moment with governments and health officials being a big part of this flawed system along with the sheep that follow them.
The fact of normal and not normal is a funny concept to consider – as Suzanne has shared in this blog we make normal that which happens a lot around us, rather than that which is natural to us. How much have we bastardised the word normal to mean something it is not?
In conventional massage, breast massage has existed for a long time, and in some cultures massaging the breasts is a normal part of any massage you receive. Massage schools have taught breast massage to their students throughout the world, so in fact, massaging breasts is not that uncommon. However, there are differences between the esoteric breast massage (EBM) and conventionally taught breast massage. EBMs are only ever performed by women for women where as conventional breast massage is performed by any sex. In the EBMs there is a deep respect offered and a care and an established relationship of trust before any touch of the body and breasts is done for there is an understanding of this modality and how it can support a woman to return to her true sense of nurturing of herself and also an understanding of how incredibly sensitive this part of a woman’s body is, and in addition there is the physical support of very delicately increasing blood and lymph flow in order to clear any congestion. In conventional massage the focus is purely on the physiological aspects, and the breasts are just massaged with no prior preparation or building of a trustful relationship. So though we may choose to see EBMs as not normal, in fact the ‘not normal part’ is the extra respect care and deep healing that is offered, rather than it being the massage of the breasts that appears ‘abnormal’. In my experience, EBM’s have been super supportive for me in re-connecting to myself as a woman and the power I hold within. Perhaps this is why some people are seeking to shut this modality down – for otherwise women would have the choice to be truly empowered.
Exactly Henrietta, your comment is spot on, thank you.
The fact that deep respect, care and healing are not considered normal is a massive indictment on how we live and what we choose to live by.
After reading this I’m really inspired to bring a new normal into my life that isn’t based on what I see around me but what I feel within me, using what I feel to discern how I need to live. I’ve tried to copy others to fit in all my life. Comparing myself to another is an open invitation for self-doubt and a gaping lack of appreciation for myself and for others because I’m too busy being jealous or preoccupied with how I’ve not made choices I’d like to. When I feel the loveliness that is me (perhaps some days it feels a little buried under stuff I’ve taken on) I get to appreciate and move in that appreciation.
Normal is judged on what is most common and that is our downfall. In a world where authenticity and standing out from the crowd is attacked and ridiculed it is difficult to see that sometimes the things that are less common are actually more natural and “normal” for us.
The reproduction of what’s normal is widely followed by the defence of what’s normal.
‘And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.’ Because we have normalised abuse it is certainly not normal to express how amazing we are and if we do people are rather incredulous! Yet if we were to appreciate ourselves and each other in our essence and unique expression we would see that indeed we are all amazing. Every day I deal with kids who are crushed because no one confirms them in their awesomeness and the fall out on society in terms of mental health issues is extreme. It would serve us well to accept our innate worth and then express it.
Thank you Suzanne for sharing your experience with pondering about the word normal. Such a pondering should be normal for us because otherwise most of us would live in a way that is not supporting at all what on the long run would lead into increasing illness and disease rates.
We are in truth not happy with the normal we have created and that alone shows that we know of a normal that is truly normal for ourselves.
I know what you mean Esther, the normal we have in today’s society is actually harming us because it is full of abuse that takes us away from a true way of living.
When you look out into the world and see the mess we are in, it is definitely time for a new normal.
Hear hear it sure is time for a new normal and one that comes from how we feel from the inside first and what this is communicating in our bodies. It sure is a process of stripping away the pictures, ideals and beliefs of what we have been sold to be ‘our’ normal. Finding what feels true within has been hands down the most normal thing I have ever experienced.
What is labeled as normal in society does not mean it is loving, safe, healthy or allowing for growth and learning. If our normal supports our essence to be expressed in all that we do then we need to claim it as our normal and in that others get to see a different normal which is not governed by popularity or numbers.
Our normal has to come from how we live, which means everyone’s normal will actually be different.
What if what we consider “normal” is absolute abuse? The only way to find out is to listen to our bodies because our body knows truth.
Absolutely Elizabeth, and I reckon we have arrived at our current societal normal that is filled with so much abuse because we have been ignoring our body and become driven by our mind.
People can be very invested in their version of normal, even whole countries can, when across the ocean in other places the normals are quite different. Yet we can believe that our normal is a set truth when it’s can be very far from it.
When normality and amazingness are interchangeable words, abnormal stings. Yet, in times when normality and amazingness are way too apart, anything that may help to bring them closer is a tremendous gain. That is in short what EBM offers.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” Yes. The current ‘normal’ is certainly not evolutionary – but steeped in distraction and comfort – and accepted by many – including myself very often. Time to wake up.
It’s a great line from the blog Sue, I can feel it also asking me to make this my normal or everyday standard.
If we accept normal to be what society dictates as being acceptable then maybe it is time for society to deeply look at where normal is taking us.
Well said Sally, I agree, a complete living quality audit is needed on what we perceive as societies normality.
Yes our normal needs to be assessed from our body because then we can take responsibility for the body we have and not blame fate or someone else when we get sick or don’t like the outcomes.
Yes – our body tells us what feels right for us – individually. But how often we override what it is telling us – to our own detriment.
Serge Benhayon presents a way of living that is an inspiration to make living truth and love a normal way of being.
In a world where we have lost touch with what sacredness, true intimacy and connection is we instead have bastardised the divinity of these qualities by sexualising them all so our considered ‘normal’ is one of abuse. If we are to look around with absolute honesty, it is evident that our ‘normal’ in every aspect of life are degrees of abuse that we allow and tolerate. Yet are these truly representing who we are in essence, do these standards signify the sacredness we are in essence, the true intimacy and connection we can live for ourselves and with others? It is time that we begin to turn within to be governed by love, by what it true, and allow this to set the standards of what will truly supports us to live who we are and evolve.
“Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” – I would say a resounding yes.I know I do in parts of my life. Wanting to check out of an evening because I have worked hard that day and I deserve it, that is considered normal as so many of us do it, but there is no much tension in my body when I do that and I actually feel more tired from checking out.
Going along with the crowd, but not standing in the knowing of who we are, what are we following?
So by changing the meaning of the word normal we have been getting away with things that are in truth not normal for us at all. Then we find ourselves in this big confusion as all we do is normal right, yet how do we then explain so many people are getting ill and are burnt out? We might think it is our fault but what if it started with one change of meaning of a word?
Yes totally agree Lieke – if ‘normal’ represented what is true then our current ‘normal’ would most definitely be a massive lie.
Good point! I mean we are ticking all the boxes of normal and good so why are we getting sick? Time to revisit that word and wonder if perhaps we have fallen for the reinterpretation rather than assessing for ourselves.
Indeed something being called normal isn’t necessarily indicative of it’s worth or value to our society, that is something to keep discerning.
If normal is what “conforms to a standard: usual, typical or expected” then we need to define what that standard is. By design, we are love and truth-full, but most of us do not live that and our ‘normal’ comes from a set of learned behaviour and cultivated personality to survive in the world.
I think it’s really important to recognise that just because something isn’t common practice or in the majority it doesn’t automatically mean that it isn’t true – for that is something for us all to discern from within ourselves rather than just attributing truth to what is ‘normal’.
Yes otherwise we can get on a bandwagon and condemn, damn or discount without discernment.
It will be normal one day for women to receive the esoteric breast massage as part of their rhythm and routine of care and nurturing their being. It will be normal to take care of your body so you can be in your full power.
It’s crazy that what is actually normal, ie living in a loving and committed way is actually alien to us. What kind of normal have we accepted and endorsed?
Agreed Meg time for us to re-start the very concept of normal and embrace the fullness that life actually has to offer.
Exactly – while we accept the current normal we are actually missing out on the amazing opportunities life offers us every single day.
Yes Suzanne, we are needing to set the standard, based on what is normal : respect and decency for every single one human being. We need no accolades, simply stand all for what is true and not go below that. No matter the courage we need to have.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” To make normal the deep inner connection we have with ourselves that makes us more accepting of others, is something I aspire to be.
The word normal comes with the idea that everybody is doing it, and if that is the case, then it must be right, so many things in this day and age have become normalised, such as abuse, greed, hatred, which have become so much more wide spread in our communities that little is done about it. The world is needing a new normal and when more and more people are connecting to their inner hearts and living from this love, which is our true normal, human society will one day be transformed.
What is normal is what feels true inside my body. Whether it fits into the picture of society or not, it does not matter. When we practice in reliving truth as our normal, we are saying no to fitting in, and practicing being a part of the world without needing to compromise what we know to be true.
What is normal is what feels true inside my body. Whether it fits into the picture of society or not, it does not matter. When we practice in reliving truth as our normal, we are saying no to fitting in, and practicing being a part of the world without needing to compromise what we know to be true.
I’ve said this before and will keep repeating it – its not what is normal that is important (look at where that is getting us), its about feeling what is natural and then making that our normal – no matter what others are doing around us.
To set the records for where it always has been truly about — our normal should be absolute truth. Honesty is key and one of the first steps. The rest follows thereafter. We set this new standard.
Making love our new normal is key. The more we make honouring ourselves, honouring what we are feeling, putting quality first etc.. all as ‘normal’ everyday things the less emphasis we put on them and so the less pressure or need to feel we have to perform. So they just become a part of life but not one that fits into life as we have known it but rather sets the foundation for life as we know it could and can be just have chosen not to live it. And it starts with the basics by making what we know is normal and letting everything else unfold.
In society today just how normal is the normal we accept as normal… this is making me really consider how much we have compromised our standards to lower them to create a new reduced normal.
A reduced normal that only invites us to be more of who we are not. Now that is real corruption before any physical exsistence.
We have even accepted that this is normal, to keep redefining words to suit the way we are living and perceiving things at the time. Words have a vibrational quality. I see it in the sound wave formation when I record people talking. As with everything in life, there is a true vibration or quality to a word, then there is everything else.
I totally agree Suzanne. Our current view of what ‘normal’ is seems to be that of behaviours in which abuse and disregard for one another are included. As such we are completely diminishing the possibility of living our true potential from the true commonality we are all equally connected to, that is our love within. Living with love is our true ‘normal’ and is possible to live in every aspect of our lives by each and every one of us. It is time to stand up for a new normal, one that inspires us all to live the greatness of who we are, together.
“But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?” – Absolutely I would say it does and even if with just one person what we consider to be normal or expected can change over time, according to how we perceive the world through any beliefs or ideals we may hold. So who is ‘right’ or what is true? What if there is an innate inability in all of us to sense or know from our body the quality behind anything, so rather than judging something by comparing it to a belief or ideal we feel instead what is there and if it correlates with our whole body or not…
Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” Great question! So are we all using the ‘normal card’, to stay in our comforts and indulgences because everybody else is? The other question that could be asked is, when do we take responsibility for our lives, for our choices? Do we wait till life delivers a wake up call in the form of something that turns your world upside down, as illness and disease tend to do. And then wonder why is this happening to me, but for years you have ignored the call to make small changes. I have come to understand that we do not ever get away with anything, what we put out is what we get back.
Yes indeed – time for a new normal where women have a modality that deeply supports them to re-claim the delicate and sacred beings that they are.
How constricted are we by what other people might think? Years ago massage was not seen with the sexual connotations it now has, so why don’t we ask why we have made everything sexual rather than blame a modality that is incredible healing to the connective tissue as well as the wellbeing of the person receiving the treatment.
To say that that what is normal is what is evolutionary for us, that is a great bar on what normal can be, something which support us to be more of who we are.
It would be great to have a quality standard applied to what we allow as normal, and one that means every choice is about a constant expansion and deepening of ourselves would make for a distinct raising in the shockingly low standards we accept today.
Unless we set standards and uphold them then what we consider normal will keep dropping.
Well said! we need to set the standard of what is normal and honour what we feel inside not continue to benchmark our normal with what everyone else is doing which might well be living a zombie way of life.
Yes agreed Elizabeth. We need to keep living and expressing what we know is true. It is interesting to observe that when a higher standard of living is offered or reflected, one that represents our true potential and that serves to pull us up or support our evolution, we seem to reject it, condemn it or resist it in any way so as not to step out of the comfort and live with greater responsibility. Yet our bodies cannot tolerate this resistance forever and we are clearly showing signs of this through our collective worsening health and well-being, and equally seen through our worsening abusive behaviours.
Thank you Suzanne, for it shows us the lack of truth in our world..where we have put our needs before truth. Hence, when such truth is brought back into our humanity — this amazing Esoteric Breast Massage Modality, the reaction to it not being ‘normal’ shows us the lack of truth we have accepted.. Thank you for sharing this with us.
To me we simply call something normal because we do not want to be honest with ourselves and truly feel what this ‘normal’ means and does to us. Ín general this normal is not as innocent as we think it is, the things we call normal because they appear in our societies are abusive by nature and not only to the persons directly involved but to to all of us as bystanders that continue to allow this to happen over and over again. Our normal has a consequence, and we can everyday read about the atrocities that are the result of this ‘normal’. Our normal we erroneously try to protect or find safety in because it is the way we know life to be.
We accept behaviour because we do not collectively act in saying that it is not acceptable. It is from the separation we live in that we are not able to make this collective statement because in this separation we are able to hold on to our own ideals and beliefs and in that separation we think that we are not bound by the universal laws we in truth all are deeply connected with.
When we allow those outside ‘norms’ to dictate how we are, it’s a sure sign we’ve lost our way in who we are. We all know a decency, a respect for ourselves and for others and somehow we’ve allowed that to be short changed and we’ve accepted and tolerated behaviour which we know is not right and so long as it doesn’t impact us, we turn a blind eye. We’ve become small and make it about us alone, our tribe, our family, ourselves and in loosing the connection to the bigness of who we all are, we allow the smallness … for we are big, and we all know that if something happens to any one of us all of us are impacted in some way … this is normal and not something we currently live but something we will live again one day. And our way there is for each of us to look at our normals and consider does this normal support all of us, nurture all of us and allow the expression of the love we are?
What is normal is what is being accepted by the mass majority. This only means it is something most people agree with. It does not ever mean it is the best, appropriate, responsible, honest, true, healthy, wise way. It does though reflect, where we are at collectively as people.
I can agree with that diningwithoneandwithlove, that what we call our normal today is because we collectively are choosing this to be our normal, not realising what us accepting this normal is bringing to us as individuals and our society at large. You only have to look into a newspaper to read about what living this irresponsible way brings to us on a daily basis.
Yes, we only have the normal we have from watching how others have lived and how others have responded to how they lived. It has all been from looking outside. When the blinkers are taken off and you can feel the Love that is offered from your body constantly there is a new way to move, eat, think and this is offered as a reflection without words, so others can see there is another way should they also choose to make their own bodies the marker of truth that it has and will always be.
It is true, we don’t need to scratch too far below the surface to see what we have taken as ‘normal’ is not conducive to a healthy body and psychology. It misses the key aspects of why we are here and the connection that is available to us all, the marker of all truth – the love within our body.
The normal we aspire to should never be a decline of what we deep down know to be true but should always meet our deepest standards and allow us to expand from there, setting a new normal with every breath we take.
Most of what the world considers as ‘normal’ is not at all normal but actually abusive: how have we ended up with a world so full of abuse that killing each other in wars is ‘normal’? We might think we’re far away from where the wars are happening but if we look more closely we see the abuses we live with and perpetuate in a daily basis, within ourselves and one another- those small and everyday ways that we think and speak about ourselves that aren’t loving, but ‘normal’ and that contribute to the ‘normal’ of our world on a much grander scale. It starts with us and the standards of normal that we set for ourselves.
I do not live like everyone else in many aspects. It is tough on me, if I see myself as the “unnormal” . The more you claim and live what is true in an absoluteness, it won´t look “unnormal” as the truth will never truly appear like that. No matter how much someone would fight it or question it, it is undoubtable.
I enjoy the process of claiming. It is a progression for me. Every step is appreciated and never rushed, to allow my body to feel the embodiment.
Interesting to look at what principles have to be ticked so that society announce something as “normal”. Would it be something, that asks for more responsibility and supports evolution and growth out of the lineal way of life or would something be claimed as normal be something that asks us NOT to reflect on already existing systems, behaviours, calling for more responsibility or scrutinize if we are truly healthy and happy as human beings?!
It appears that so many follow along with what they believe is normal without even discerning whether this normal could be harming to them. It’s the case of ‘everyone’s doing it so I had better join in otherwise I’ll stick out for not doing so’. There are so many so-called normals, several of which you have quoted, that many in society have seemingly blindly accepted, where in truth they are so far away from it. Yes, it is definitely “time for a new normal” and we are the ones to claim it as the truth for us.
That is a great link Doug, thank you.
Accepting the accepted ‘normal’ we are often accepting the lowest common denominator and by doing so we choose irresponsibility.
Is it not disconcerting to consider that for a woman to have her breasts massaged in a sexual way by another woman or a man are considered normal and expected – whereas for a woman to massage another woman’s breasts without an ounce of sexual intent is not? It is telling of how far we strayed from the pristineness we ought to live and relate to each there with, that an act of such deep respect and care for the woman is handed over to the sceptical and ludicrous view. It is an indictment of the gross disrespect and abuse of woman what we have allowed to be ‘normal’ – tragically so.
Katerina, your comment stopped me in my tracks for it is so true.
“What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behavior.” a great call here, to re-define normal to being something that is true and inline with what is supportive for all, not a way that happens to be common.
It is so time for a new normal, time for a new but old movement that brings back truth, love and joy as being the normal.
And if we are truly ready to understand our selves our normal continues to change, deepen and as this happens, we adjust. What do we adjust to? To living from what we have felt is the next level of normal for ourselves. A very intimate journey each can only make for themselves.
Not everything is everyone’s cup of tea, I couldn’t think of anything worse than a deep tissue massage but others love them. I don’t judge them and it would be great if that was a two way street in life. Unfortunately in the age of the digital era people seem to becoming less open and more derisive and dismissive of anything that doesn’t fit into their realm of thinking. Strange really as you would have thought it would broaden our horizon’s but rather we are narrower in our thinking much as it was in wartime Europe under Nazi rule. The more accepting and understanding of ourselves we become the more we will be able to accept others.
When one’s ‘normal’ steps out of the comfortable box, it exposes all the comfort we have chosen for many a life.
Yes and this new normal is actually not new but going back to what was probably the true meaning of the word ages ago, meaning what is true for is normal and everything else we do however often it is, cannot be normal for us as long as we are doing things that are not true for us, thus not normal.
What is currently normal in society is not what is natural for us. So naturally it’s normal that we want to make a change and choose what is true. Embracing our oddness, uniqueness and difference then is the key to showing it’s normal to be natural within. Thank you Suzanne for this direction you’re sharing.
When we look at society it has always altered what is normal to suit what level of disregard it is in. If we took it to what should be truly normal we would feel how wayward we have become.
I can very much relate to this and am stepping away from pleasing others to being love which often may not please. But I know that there are people who have needed to observe others to trust that the loveliness they present is genuine and won’t be whipped away suddenly. I know I’m very much learning to trust and surrender again. People require as much reflection of love they need in order to trust connecting to love again.
Being abusive online is now so common it’s expected as a normal experience of internet usage – whether one is observer of this or the target, the message is there’s not much that can be done about how people interact and we have just got to get more resilient. But this is only allowing of more abuse in our lives, more of what isn’t love or loving. and, I can see this clearly in me- if I let one bit slide it’s easy to go on a downhill tumble where my ‘normal’ becomes what my body is shouting to stop. It really is time to make our normal in tune with what is natural in our bodies to live.
Big YES! We cap ourselves so badly when we conform to someone else’s picture of normal. We have to embrace what our foundations are and what brings us to an ease within our body and be prepared to live that in full so others can see that is normal even if it stands out.
Is there really such a thing as “normal” and is what’s normal for me what’s normal for you? And is even my normal fixed? What if everyday we could take it to the next level and so that way our normal is constantly expanding.
What is normal differs from one person to another, and it keeps changing as we change – many years ago, drinking alcohol every day and smoking cigarette used to be my normal. It is totally personal and subjective. I guess we each move on at our own pace and attune ourselves to what agrees with every fibre of our own being.
Instead of being recipients of life like a post box receiving a bunch of junk mail, what would it be like if we got on the front foot and opened our door and took action to initiate what we feel is needed in the world today? Would we then be resentful victims of circumstance? Or be free in our heart because we have activated our part? Your words here Suzanne show me how I can make my new normal about initiating what I know is right instead of waiting for life’s circumstances to hand it on a plate to me.
There is nothing normal about having the rates of illness and disease that we now have so definitely it is time for a new normal
A brilliant blog Suzanne exposing what we accept as ‘normal in society that is often very harming and damaging to our health and well being. It is crazy to think that when you begin to love yourself and become more honouring of yourself you are seen as being different and not ‘normal’, time for a new ‘normal’ and to raise the current standard of living because abusive behaviours are rising everywhere in society.
What does normal really mean? it has been so misused and bastardised, because we chose to live so far from the truth. We use right and wrong as a marker for what is normal instead of feeling what we know to be true. I agree Suzanne, it is definitely time for a new normal.
” What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?
What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour. ” Wonderful Suzanne this should be on the crib of ever child, and their bedroom.
Thank you John. With every child raised with this in mind, no child would need to change themselves in order to “fit in”.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” Spot on, what if normal is simply being true to how we feel? What if normal is never letting the truth go unspoken? What if normal is not allowing one iota of abuse?
As I make different choices in my life and re-connect with my body as never before, the deeper level of awareness and delicateness within myself and with others IS the ‘new-normal’ now.A far cry from the tom-boy image of my teens and conforming to what felt normal to everyone in order to fit in.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”
Me too Stephanie, it is a far cry from what I would have called normal and that teaches me that there is a well, an untapped resource that is waiting for me to re-discover. It is a well of love which is still, and at ease with no tension. Brought into activity it is joyful, playful, there is a flow and an ease even in unpleasant or difficult situations. Without questioning our ‘normal’ we don’t see or feel the well we are missing.
Who knew a word could hide so much and yet normal is one of those words. Is there a ‘normal’ institute or who are what heads up the definition of what is normal. We have made normal that broad and unclear that it’s normal to be confused in the fact of what normal is. It’s a word that isn’t truly needed as there are no grey areas in life, it either is or it is not and then from there life is a very personal experience that is about how you are and how this ‘how’ impacts all that is around you. Let’s not look for the comfort of normal as this has parts hidden from us, let’s bring back things to their true origins.
It is just in our movements each and every day, how we are with ourselves and each other, that is what I am trialling at the moment, bringing a loving discipline to myself each day, without perfection, to change how I feel and what I allow in each day. Not dying on the sword with myself if I am not perfect in my thoughts, feelings and actions throughout the day, but being clear with myself, moving in a way that is in the knowing of who I am and where I am from, this is feeling very loving and very supportive for myself.
We have to be able to differentiate clearly between something that may not be conventional, with something that is not normal. Conventional or unconventional has to do with accepted social conventions. Normal has an aspect to it as well, but it is also about the body. What is normal or abnormal is something we have to start feeling with the body because the concept of normality is something innate to us. Conventions are always constructions (creations).
“Normal” definitely does not equate to something being true for us! And it can be a convenient label we use to justify doing something (or not doing something) rather than being honest with ourself about whether it really feels true to us or not…
Yes… What is normal, so to speak, has certainly changed… And this defining factor in society has definitely not reflected an evolution.
We are typically quick to judge something at face value without considering the actual quality of the expression. Quality is everything and everybody wants quality of life, hence this ought to be our marker of a true society not behaviour.
It could be considered a dangerous word in how it’s used because of the very fact it doesn’t define the quality of what is being done. Normal merely requires enough people to do something for a period of time for it to be considered normal. It’s no surprise in a world that lifts doing in a way that actually brings the quality we live in down. For me we need to throw the way we use normal out and bring back a level of care that looks directly at quality, a true quality. If the quality doesn’t hit the mark then we should hold to the point we are at and not walk further into doing more. All of us need to question normal as what is deemed normal now wasn’t accepted by generations from the past and we can’t just keep moving normal around to suit the time and date we appear in now.
As more and more people are inspired to choose a more loving way to live then The Way of The Livingness as presented and lived by Serge Benhayon will become normal.
Thank you Suzanne I agree time for a new normal, ” what if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings? ” All would expand from this true normal.
Yesterday I was talking to a nurse whose job it is to do health checks on as many people as possible in the local area. She told me that it is now normal that the children she tests have diabetes and quite often their parents too. She feels that the increase in sugar consumption especially in energy drinks is the major contributor.
That’s certainly an example of a ‘normal’ that we don’t want to be normal and there is a danger of it just being ‘how it is’ rather than us stopping to truly question what is going on, on every level, that this is happening…
Great blog Suzanne, I agree that ‘normal’ is associated with everyone else actually doing something, it’s becoming an acceptable norm that teenagers will either experiment with drugs, or become regular users, as with alcohol, yet if we start to be honest about what this does to the body would we really accept it as the norm or educate our children differently from our own reflections, and responsibility to ourselves and society.
The super-gentle touch experienced in the Esoteric Breast Massage, and the depth of sacredness this profound therapy conveys to the women who receive it, should be our absolute normal. The fact that it isn’t, and is even questioned by some, is in truth deeply abnormal. We live, in general and overall, nowhere near the level of delicateness and honouring on offer to us though the EBM, accepting levels of decency far below that which is available to us – accepting abuse.
So much of what we have normalised is, frankly, unacceptable when considered in the light of human decency and respect. But, because we have turned a blind eye to the unacceptable, and accepted what is thrust on us in terms of ideals and beliefs, we’ve made these things very ‘every day’. It takes a certain clarity to start to question that which we have accepted as part of the landscape of ordinary life.
Are some of these things ‘normal’ or have we just become de-sensitised to them? There needs to be some very honest discussion around the things that we are accepting as normal and reflection on why we are holding back from speaking up about what is true.
That’s very cool .. I am certainly up for that being a new normal.
First off great to have a discussion about what is normal? And yes who decides this is normal? I also feel this goes hand in hand with what do we tolerate and also what do we as society demand. For instance if we are so low and exhausted and depressed with our life that we feel it is acceptable to drink alcohol every single day after work instead of looking at why we are low, exhausted, depressed or stressed we have instead, as a society, demanded having alcohol to avoid feeling as normal. With regards to breast massage I put my hands up to say years ago I would have found this to be a bit weird. However, since this time when Universal Medicine first mentioned the new modality Esoteric Breast Massage because I knew of the utmost integrity (both physically and energetically) Universal Medicine holds, lives, presents and teaches, especially when with a client and because the reason for this modality had been given (the rise in breast cancer, the disconnection women have from this area of their body and that once re-connected to offers a true healing for us) I knew this was an absolute blessing for all women. And it is. Practiced only by women on women where the practitioners genuinely live by an truly inspiring code of ethics and practice as stipulated in the Esoteric Practitioners Association I now feel completely different about this. But only with this specific Esoteric Breast Massage modality, not all breasts massages, because I know of the absolute truth and integrity of this modality and the true healing it offers a woman as I have have felt this in EBM sessions.
Yes – Suzanne, and what came up when reading this is how we are never ever to wait for a person or majority to live what is actually normal – but living what is truly normal myself first, the rest will follow..
Oooh, beautifully put Danna. Something I will say to my daughter as she moves into the teenage years, seeing things that confuse her and might make her want to copy, to be seen as ‘normal’. But we are not to wait for the rest of the world to catch up to true normal, but rather live it first and be the start.
Exactly well shared, and yes we need that reflection very much as teenagers – one of truth and encouraging our young to be in authority of what they truly want in life. Yes- Making the very start yourself.
Suzanne, your piece reminds me that our idea of normal is not always true and depends on the day, the crowd and the context, in most cases it is what is accepted at that moment in society is just that, an accepted norm, but it doesn’t ask the deeper question of what in fact is true and how it feels and that’s one for all of us to ask as many accepted norms do not in fact support us, so it comes back to us and our bodies and feeling what truly supports us.
Your blog has me pondering on how we can use the word ‘normal’ to keep ourselves less and sit in comfort. It’s seems to give us an end result, that if we hit it we say, that’s enough I’ve made it to normal, job done. A place of comfort that we don’t need to look beyond.
In this world that we have all created is it not time that we all got honest about what is actually normal?
Powerful blog – Yes it is time for a new normal. A new livingness. A new, totally new, view on life and on our human existence. A fresh mind. And so we need a clear body. How? By starting to be honest about the small and large things in life that you possibly have preferred to not see or act on.
How can we go ‘back to normal’ when normal is so far away from the truth of who we are. Today, it’s normal to not be in connection with your soul. Today, it’s normal to believe that we each don’t have an equal and very active relationship with God. Our current normal is so unnatural.
You are so spot on with what you have shared Suzanne. It’s all our own creation to what we choose to put in the ‘normal’ box. We could really call it the ‘safe’ box.
There is something very safe about being ‘normal’, about conforming and fitting in. We don’t get targeted, burnt at the stake, vilified. Yet it is sometimes not ‘true’ for us and therefore we crumble a little on the inside every day, till we have some very loud mental and or physical health conditions that we cannot ignore any more. Then we are presented with a new ‘normal’ to consider.
I would even say we crumble not only a little but very much on the inside. But to not feel that constant crumble the rewards of the “normal” satisfies and numbs us enough, that we don´t feel the crumble anymore. Question remains: “To what compromise and prize and does the “normal” truly makes us happy?”
What is normal? Thank you Suzanne, I had to think about conversations I sometimes can have with parents about their teenagers and how everything teenagers do is seen as ‘normal’ because that’s what teenagers do. When I share with them that it does not have to be this way and how we don’t want to see the harm when we tolerate something that is not normal at all but devastating to everyone involved.
It is crazy how normal is based on what the masses are doing, and not based on the true feelings within us.
Yes we use that phrase a lot in life, what is normal? are we normal? but what does that actually mean? We strive to be ‘normal’, but what is it that we are striving for? To fit in with societal norms, or gender norms, there is so many ideals and beliefs that are associated with being ‘normal’ that it just sets us up for failure and feelings of not ever measuring up, instead, knowing and understanding that we are always unfolding, learning and growing.
The sad fact and what you have exposed here Suzanne is women being deeply intimate with each other in the most precious and pure ways, not in any way sexualised, simply women supporting each other to truly shine – is not normal in our current say. What is normal is comparison, jealousy and competition. The Esoteric Breast Massage takes us back to a time where women lived in the intimacy of sisterhood and brotherhood without the evils of jealousy and comparison coming in the way. And so each woman came to know herself for who she truly is – Godly. It is through each other that we remember this, connect to this and inspire one another – and this is what the Esoteric Breast Massage brings, straight from heaven itself.
‘Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something’. Absolutely…It’s like saying a teenager acting out and being impossible to handle is normal simply because they are 15. It’s an excuse we rely on so we don’t actually have to look at what might be causing the teenager to feel all the angst and anxiety they are expressing through their actions, because it’s actually not normal at all, we’ve just decided it is.
I was very intrigued by the difference between what is natural and what is normal. Normal is a trend of behaviour that we see all around us, but there is no gauge as to the health or quality of that behaviour. Now consider natural… its something that we feel inside of us first, and does not assess whether everyone else is doing it or not. It just fits, it works and its something that can be connected. Forget normal, I choose what feels natural.
When we are very young, we know love, we know truth and we live from that knowing until we look around and realise this isn’t ‘normal’, so then we turn away from this knowing and try to fit in with what we see around us. Given this it makes sense then that we desperately try to attach ourselves to something that is considered normal, because we have abandoned our connection to the one thing that is truly normal – ourselves –
and feel at sea. However if we reconnect, anything we do, say, think, feel, speak….etc. from and in connection to ourselves, our essence, who we really are, is then normal. It may not be common or usual, but it is us – it is our normal and therefore is normal.
I agree, we have made normal into something that we follow because many are doing it, instead of the knowing from within what feels natural to us.
Great observation of what we consider normal, I remember the first Esoteric Breast Massage I had, I also reflected after the session in fact, that people might not consider it normal, during and before something within me knew that it was supportive and healing. And it was deeply. Yes, I agree we need to redefine our own normal, when we look around in life, there is so much crazy stuff going on that people call normal, just because a lot of people do it…time to reflect on our ideas of normal.
A great question Suzanne, what is normal, and that what is a normal behaviour is that then actually acceptable to the nature of us human beings. The normal as it is now defined does only look to the mass behaviour as being normal but if that mass behaviour is harming to us all we must give normal a complete different definition and not as something we have accepted as being to the norm for how we are allowed to behave ourselves.
It’s definitely time for a new normal – the current normal has not been working for a long time, we’re getting sicker, unhappier, more abusive. We need to scrap everything and start again.
Absolutely agree that we need a new normal. The insidiousness of our current normal is so concerning considering how abusive those scenarios you describe are. And yet it is so acceptably normal to live where you are constantly dulling yourself with food and alcohol. So much so that when you stop doing those things society can very much shun you! Crazy that living well can then be considered an attack on the norm and thus a natural unhealthy reaction to squash that oddity. But the more people begin to see there is another way to live life that is about love and care for self at a very fine level the more it will become normal – it will take some time but eventually life on the planet will be lived much more harmoniously.
I love that you have questioned normal for something not necessarily worth aspiring to unless it is what we establish for ourselves based on what is true for us regardless of other people. This is where so many of us go wrong because just because it’s considered normal doesn’t make it okay.
Indeed Samantha, anything we consider as being normal we have to look at is as being a behaviour that is in many but that will not say that it is acceptable to the nature of our people, it only in a way shows the waywardness our societies are in.
I would say that we do feel that doctors should fix our medical problems and that it is their responsibility to do so not ours. We seem to have given up taking care of ourselves and have given that over to the medical profession while we can carry on indulging in all the activities that can damage our bodies or consume food and drink that can be equally damaging. We have got so used to the technical advance of medicine we rely on that rather than taking care of ourselves.
As long as we continue to define ourselves by comparing ourselves to the world outside of us and how we measure up to those around us, we will continue to buy into the lie of ‘normal’.
At present what is accepted as normal is the lowest common denominator, how uninspiring is that?
It’s true that what we can do because it is considered ‘normal’ or ‘acceptable’ can be very damaging and yet not questioned because many are doing it.. And yet there are things which are truly supportive and healing for us and they can be attacked and denigrated because they are not the ‘norm’ so to speak! Time to make energetic discernment our new normal and not just be creatures of habit…
It seems to me that many people are seeking more and more extreme ways to stimulate their senses, many of them not very loving but because more people are doing so it became the norm. But surely this is not in any way something we should be guided by. Perhaps we should return our attention to ‘common sense’ rather than what is perceived as normal, for common sense has a true and unchanging essence. Common sense may not sound particularly exciting but we need to understand where our motivation for excitement and excessive stimulation comes from before we judge it as such. We may find that returning to common sense is actually a very beautiful way of being.
Very well said richardmills363, thank you.
I like this definition of new normal – have you written into the Oxford dictionary yet?
Can I do that??? If so, then yes, I think I will.
Yes, we give far too much power away to the so called normalcies of life and never do we question or feel into, is this true or is this even serving? Of course when we don’t question, it is serving us all as it gives up an excuse to be irresponsible and not step up or make a change.
Suzanne, your list of what we accept as ‘normal’ is really quite alarming. But sadly it is true, that the more these things become commonplace, the more they are accepted as simply being ‘part of life’. Then the focus seems to be on finding an overall solution, rather than introducing an understanding of why someone might get involved in such behaviour. How different would it be if we all lived knowing and appreciating our own amazingness, and that this was our normal. Our society would look and be very different to how is does today.
Thank you Suzane, for bringing light and exposing the lie of what we call normal, it is only through our connection and appreciation of who we are that we can withstand the resistance of those who indulge in ill behaviours and comfort and who defend what we call normal in society and reflect another way to live based on love and respect for all.
When society or a number of people listens and follows their inner heart that which we once thought was normal eg.drinking alcohol becomes abnormal likewise if we choose to not listen to our innermost and give energy to abusive, ill-behaviours which today are relatively uncommon, they then become extreme and classed as normal. So our normal can change depending on how many there is carrying out the behaviour; the choice is ours.
What I feel is important is that we have no judgement towards another and their choices but allow them to be. We do not know what has led someone to their current situation and choices and it is not for us to judge. When we do judge we lose the understanding and impose our beliefs and pictures onto others.
So true Suzanne, just because something is declared to be normal, it doesnt make it ok or desirable of any of us. As a society we have slipped so far from appreciation of true wellbeing, that being chronically ill, having rude teenagers live under our roofs, not being energised when we wake up etc – all these things that are experienced by so much of the population until we clearly are shown otherwise -and- also appreciate the opportunity to redefine how we want our usual life to be.
“Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” Maybe we could consider that by using the word ‘normal,’ we are stopping our own learning and feelings of what is true? Could it be that the only real way to find out what is supportive and normal for each person is to experience it first hand before any ideas or true feelings can be made.
The fact that we all have the notion that we might need a new definition for the word normal indicates to me that we as a society are way off where we actually should be. The violence and abusive acts that present themselves on a daily basis have become normal, but in fact are not. We better could say that they are an often happening event in our daily lives, but are not normal but completely against our natural origin that is love. Love is our normal and everything that waivers from that we should call not normal, but a waywardness of human behavior.
What if the word ‘normal’ was replaced with ‘irresponsible’… it would make a lot more sense that way.
If normal is defined by something being repeated then I would say that perhaps we use the term normal to avoid using another word – ingrained, to cover up the fact that we have certain behaviours that we can get stuck in which are usually based on how we perceive the world.
I agree that change is needed Suzanne. And as has been mentioned what is normal for one may not be normal for another, person, community or country. Where does it end and perhaps it comes back to what is harmless or harmful.
‘If we are so fixated on being normal so we can judge others and ourselves and establish where we fit into society, then it is most decidedly time to create a new normal.’ How limiting and even imprisoning this subscription to ‘normal’ is. It is giving in to mass rule and not considering what is truly healthy and life giving to society and not recognising that we have the power to change the status quo, up the standards and give us all a much more fulfilling life.
Everyday we have the opportunity to redefine a new normal and take it to another level, the question is what are we doing with this precious time of ours?! And will we choose to keep defining a new normal, or keep perpetuating the harmful normal we have now across the whole world? Every day we choose the quality of the world we live in.
We are all in essence love. Love is the unifying quality of our Soul, of which we all are. As such being moved by love is what is truly normal. Yet we have allowed ourselves to be moved by lovelessness, and it is this that we today assume, settle for and accept is normal. I agree Suzanne, time to return to a true normal is in order, and it begins with our choosing to be moved by the love we are within.
Powerful blog Suzanne and a confirmation to read as when I read this I totally agreed and thought ‘finally someone who say it the way it is!’. If we think about it, isn’t it strange how a street fight can be seen as normal, or robbery can be seen as normal or common yet taking care of yourself fully is seen as abnormal. This alone already shows something needs to change about how we use the word normal.
Nothing in our daily lives and world at large will change until we challenge and truly assess what we call normal to expose what is abnormal.
I wonder what our ‘normal’ will look like in 2000 years, it seems like normal changes with the times and the fashions rather than remaining a steady constant: what if we only considered love and the truth as normal, sure the scenery may change and situations may be different but the principles of love and truth would always be the same.
hmmmm this is extraordinarily real , and I would say normal – this conversation is real and to the depth of normalness we can come back to. As you reveal, it is so prevalent what exist in the ideals and beliefs in our world, yet something else might be actually truly normal. This sentence reveals as such:’ What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking. It is normal to see a fist fight outside a pub at midnight. It is typical to drink alcohol every day of the week. It is expected for many Muslim women to wear a veil over their face. It is normal to see men and or women sleeping around; it is typical for people to expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems; it is expected that mothers put their children first, before themselves. And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.’ I can only agree. We should set our minds up to 0% again and change our visions.
Haha – imagine a total mind reset – I wonder what would come next?
When I read the definition of normal I could feel just how constraining the word is, with no consideration for each of our unique expressions. Time to take the word normal out of its box, untie its shackles and see it in its grandness.
“Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal?” I respond with a resounding yes. It was normal for the world to believe the world was flat, normal for people to think earth was the centre of the universe. Our definition of normal thus changes as the old ‘normal’ becomes outdated. Is it normal for a good percentage of the world’s people today to be obese? it would seem that each of us can say what is normal for us as individuals – but where is truth in all this?
I was just sharing with a work colleague what the Esoteric Breast Massage was today, I was explaining how we as women have really lost touch with how we feel as women, to feel our tenderness and that in the past I didn’t even know what that was, tenderness, least of all treat myself with that quality. She agreed with me and was very interested, I actually did say, we need to redefine a ‘new normal’, so great timing for me to reread this great blog.
In the same way that looking after oneself is not considered ‘normal’, and too often misinterpreted as being selfish… a long hard look at what we consider as being normal is well overdue.
It is normal to express the love that we are and it is abnormal to express anything less. We have reinterpreted and thus greatly polluted the word ‘normal’ to mean ‘that which the masses are doing’ so as to afford us an excuse for our chosen and collective waywardness that has seen us withdrawing from and expressing far less that the great love we in-truth all are.
So true how careless we have been in the way we use our language and accepting what is not natural to us by applying a term ‘normal’.
Indeed, the very word normal has given us the justification to validate anything that is accepted by the many.
Note that I self accepted even if they don’t agree with it themselves.
” And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.” . . . this is sadly true and what a shame but we can turn this around by truly celebrating and appreciating ourselves and others at every opportunity.
Normal is usually based on what the masses are doing. When that becomes skewed what is truly normal can seem so not-normal.
I agree ‘To get away with a behaviour that says if enough people do it, then by virtue of the numbers of people doing it, that then can become the new normal’ it seems currently this is happening a lot within our world, behaviours that are abusive, unloving or disconnecting say someone texting other people while out for a meal, or even things like war have become normal because we have accepted it. As soon as we do not start accepting something it can no longer be normal, so ultimately all that is happening in the world right now is our responsibility. Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have raised the bar on what normal is making this about transparency, truth, love, commitment to life and responsibility to name a few.
Plus transcending normal is so much fun!
‘I lay there imagining what someone might think if they burst in on my session.’ If this were to happen, it would totally expose where the other person was at. In other words, someone having issues with true intimacy, which is free of sexual undercurrents or agenda’s, may react to the scene of a very sacred healing session going on and label it something it is not. As I said, it would expose where that person is at.
What the majority think is normal can be a prison if we allow it to be so. We can feel the unspoken and spoon pressure to confirm to not rock the boat….do we not. Walking with a knowing of our heart our body in connection allows us to walk with our own truth. It is the only way to walk with the universal flow but against the prevailing tide.
Absolutely spot on Suzanne! We so need to redefine the word normal. For example, my normal is waking up almost daily with stiff muscles in my neck, shoulders and back. I highly doubt this is normal for everyone. Normal for someone else might be that they wake up and eat cereal for breakfast, for me this is not my normal as I barely even eat breakfast, let alone cereal. So we don’t even have to look very far to notice that we each have a different normal. So why on earth do we paint so much with the same brush?! So much worth changing here…
Reading through your list of what is considered ‘normal’ in the world today simply highlighted to me how many behaviours in the world today are accepted as normal and questioned by very few. Why is that we blindly accept these ‘normals’ when there is probably part of us that knows that they are anything but? Perhaps it is because we don’t like to rock the boat, stand out in a crowd or be accused of being weird, but maybe questioning is what is really necessary so we can begin to let go of these potentially destructive behaviours that are holding us back from truly living life that way it could be.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”
Great definition of normal Suzanne; it certainly is time for a new normal with your definition as its foundation.
It sure is time to question what is considered ‘normal’ – and why we use this word with things that are done often and not necessarily what is true. Taking the label off things allows us to see them as either healing or harming, true or untrue. A much more honest way to ‘classify’ the world.
How did smoking . . . blowing smoke out of your body like a dragon . . . become normal or drinking alcohol, a beverage that is a know poison in your body! This has to be true as it just doesn’t make sense . . . “New behaviours are performed by a group of people and when enough people are exhibiting that behaviour, it can then be accepted” . . . as normal.
Even if we are open to what you present Suzanne, it still seems so tempting to define and hold ourselves in regards to what we think ‘normal’ is. It is like we have something in our head saying ‘don’t go too far from the group, don’t stand out too far or you’ll have no friends’. Yet you can see from what you say, how this holds us all back and limits us in so many ways. I’ve had enough of seeing life as a game I need to play to be safe, instead of knowing it will take its own shape when I let myself be free to play and express in every way.
I am with you Suzanne as I am declaring a new normal as being . . ” . . . what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings . .”
Normal today is about repetition, if a behaviour is repeated it becomes known and the outcome is more or less assured. It allows us to maintain and secure the expectations we have of life. But if I were to feel what is normal for my body often the movements may look repetitive but the quality doesn’t have an end picture but changes frequently if not every time, it deepens. And this freaks out the part of me that wants to know what life will look like but feels truly normal to the feeling part of me.
We’re in trouble as a society when what we consider as normal is in fact the polar opposite of normal, and not only is our current normal the polar opposite, it’s also often self abusive. For example, every scientist in the world knows that alcohol is a poison, however if you DON’T drink, you’re considered un-normal.
The way we accept normal is very exposing of how unwell society has become. And I agree Meg, it also exposes the complacency we have around self-abuse and the fact that we champion what actually harms us. This is so NOT normal.
Complacency is the perfect word, we have absolutely no problem with abusing ourselves and others, which is pretty concerning, and definitely not normal. Yet we all call it normal every single day.
We have accepted normal without question, we get used to what’s being heard and reported as the new status quo….. When in fact there is a point when we accept it because we feel powerless to change it. We have lost the ability to know our own power in saying NO to the imposed normal. In fact nothing is normal to a body of Love, that responds to the movement that impulses it, and that can be different all the time with lives lived powerfully with no compromise and certainly not ‘normal’ but extraordinarily beautiful in their simplicity.
Like a scientist who has been studying a single subject for 60 years, we seem to be somewhat addicted to proving our theory right, to solving the situation, and winning the prestigious prize. But no part of us is willing to admit, that the whole approach just might be flawed, and that this philosophy is actually barking up the wrong tree. Just imagine what would happen if we had the trust in our convictions to set aside our definitions of ‘normal’ once and for all, and truly examine who we are? Well, then we may be surprised and find we are free at last. This process of truly questioning everything we think we know, is to me the true science of life, the art of letting go. Thank you Suzanne.
Thank you Suzanne, beautiful expose on the norm we have accepted.
Suzanne, I love your dissection of normal, and there is something apt in what you offer here, that often the fact that others do it, or that we present our normal as being done by others which can be an alert to say that perhaps that ‘normal’ we’re championing may not be truth. Truth just is, it requires no championing, and it’s known in our bodies and that is normal.
Since choosing to listen to my body what is normal for me keeps being adjusted to allow for an ongoing dialogue of what is required at different times.
Stress and exhaustion is at epidemic proportions but is definitely not normal for our bodies and has long-term effects if not addressed but those who are choosing to live in ways that address these ‘normal’ plagues of our times are vilified because others label it as ‘abnormal’ which is defined as ‘deviating from what is normal or usual, typically in a way that is undesirable or worrying’. It feels like normal is used as an excuse for people continuing with behaviours that they know are not supportive but are choosing not to address so that anyone making different choices tends to be attacked to prevent them being exposed.
It would appear that the meaning and/or understanding of normal is ever changing like the shifting sands.
Our perception of normal has been corrupted by our minds from existing in separation to our body and Soul. Our true normal is ‘all’ that is impulsed through our connection to Soul, as our Soul represents the commonality of us all, the truth of who we are. So in separation to our Soul, our minds operate under the illusion that it has created driving us to seek and settle for a false sense of belonging that we think is only found in the world outside of ourselves. It is when we turn within that we will then return to living what our true all-encompassing ‘normal’ is.
Well said Suzanne and very true, what’s considered normal in society is actually far from normal for me. Everything that’s accepted as normal in society such as sugar, caffeine, drinking large amounts of alcohol and overeating are incredibly harming on the body – when we take the steps to become more responsible we then begin to question all these norms that are in fact creating a lot of misery and illness and disease.
What you are talking about Suzanne is the complete hypocrisy of a society that screams at something it does not understand for fear it might be abusive, but is happy to accept the abuse we see and witness everyday as being normal. Don’t question why we legalise alcohol but frown upon other drugs. Don’t question why we accept verbal abuse in the workplace and at home, but not in a public setting. Don’t question the prolific nature of porn and its widespread distribution across the internet. But the moment someone mentions breasts and massage in the same sentence – well, just wait for the onslaught of outrage and fear, and all before single moments has been taken to even understand what has been presented, or what it might be presented for.
Adam, you bring the common sense that would bring many pillars of society down.
But that the crux, of how easily and flimsy our ‘normal’ can be deconstructed.
Surely if normal is suppose to be associated with natural, normal could never be associated with flimsy because nothing that is natural is easily diminished.
Your blog Suzanne certainly questions what is normal and how limiting, comforting and capping living to what is considered normal is. It is definitely time for humanity to re-define what is normal; a normal that supports true purpose, love joy, harmony and brotherhood.
Doing what is normal is one way to keep ourselves in comfort and we can justify it because everyone else is doing the same. This is just another way for us to give away our power and our self responsibility.
The idea of what is considered normal in society is not a reliable gauge in life. Normal changes with the times and as you suggest here Suzanne, with what a certain proportion of people are doing. Is it normal these days to take drugs? Do we all want to take drugs to be normal then? When I was growing up, people having Chemotherapy for cancer was rare. Today I hear people chatting about having ‘chemo’ like it is an everyday ‘normal’ occurrence. To me, we must take our normal from our bodies, from the inner wisdom we all have within. To feel self-love could be our normal. To live in harmony could be normal. What do we choose?
Wow Suzanne, this is pretty revealing. do we class something as being normal so we can fit in and not stand up for who we truly are. Being normal gives us justification to do something even if it is harmful . That is pretty ridiculous- we definitely need a new normal definition!
What is currently considered normal in society does not necessarily mean it is normal. We just need to look at our food and drink intake. We carry on as if it is normal to drink alcohol, drink caffeine, eat copious amounts of sugar yet all the time our bodies are screaming at us this is NOT normal. Our bodies respond to the EBM as it knows and can feel the healing impact. What is normal or not should come from our own bodies not our mind that can easily be swayed by opinion and judgement.
When I was young, my dad and I used to sing when we were walking somewhere together. When someone was approaching us I would stop. He told me that it was ok to be singing, it was joyful and a nice thing for people to hear. It wasn’t normal though. I fell into what was expected and stopped doing many things I loved because of what was considered normal.
The other day at work, two of the young men who work in the kitchen came into work singing together. It was very sweet and I loved hearing it.
Why do we suffocate joy because to show it is not normal? From now on I will be creating my own new normal.
Time for a new normal indeed Suzanne. It is interesting observing how many people aspire to being ‘normal’, to fit in and be liked by others. I have been doing this most my life, it is in recent years that I have started to find my new normal. One that is not about fitting in or pleasing others but about love and truth. This new normal is actually very normal.
‘What if what is truly normal is what…feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?’ – this is a huge question to consider when I look at what ‘normal’ is and know that a lot of what is normal is either good or bad – but what an opportunity to ask ‘is it true’ – to me that is a way of changing what society has encouraged normal to be.
It is normal…or simply something we have gotten used to….which then allows another normal to be established
“Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” – totally. Just because something happens more often than not, just because the majority are choosing – we seem to be letting our standard slide downwards in many areas of our life, and by calling them ‘normal’ we are giving ourselves false assurance that we are doing ok.
We lose our discernment of what is true and what is not true when we accept the abnormal as normal.
We can justify the many things that we do that we call normal to avoid what we truly yearn for, and that is the connection to ourselves through our body. I have had many EBM’s and for me, they are a perfectly normal way to re-connect to my body because it is my body that speaks the truth and not my head, which will tell me that having an EBM is a bit ‘out there’, when I know that normal for me is feeling vibrant, alive and tingling all over, and this is nearer the truth for me than constantly doing the ‘normal’ things that keep me in my head.
When we accept things as either being ‘normal’ or abnormal are we not missing what is actually being offered to us, if we were to truly understand how divisive ‘normal’ can be when we use it to justify or excuse something.
Awesome blog Suzanne. We get hung up in being ‘normal’ because we want to fit in and be accepted and it is ‘normal’ to abuse ourselves in order to achieve this goal. If we redefine normal to be what is harmonious and natural for us then we can lead the way back to who we naturally are.
So true Suzanne… ”who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?” It has become clear to me over the years that much of what becomes considered normal is just what we have come to rely on to get through life. Drinking alcohol, eating junky food that does not support us, our multitude of ‘normal’ activities and behaviours that pass the time, distract and numb us from what we don’t like in life… etc.
Saying that something is normal can often seem like it is being used as a ‘get-out-of-jail-free’ card (I can put my hand up for this too). A bit of a flippant way of dismissing any question that there may be something for us to look at and change in our behaviour or the way that we are living.
“Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” I would answer this great question Suzanne with a resounding yes. It is like we accept something as normal because others are doing it, so we begin to live it, get comfortable with it and then don’t even question if it is actually was normal in the first place, as if we were to be faced with the actual truth of the situation we might have to change ourselves, our behaviours, and that for a lot of people is simply in the too hard basket; a well used basket (of excuses) where there is no room left for a “new normal”.
Suzanne it is certainly time for a new normal, and a wise wakeup that because something is normal does not make it true or loving yet somehow we accept it. Likewise something that is not considered “normal” may infact be very natural, loving and deeply healing. My wife had a series of esoteric breast massages and the changes in her, her connection to herself and way she deepened the care she held herself in was beautiful to feel.
Time to question what we accept as normal. Just because something is the common experience of many does not make it a truth.
Normal is so individual or what a select majority may consider expected, and if we as you suggest Suzanne, take normal to be what feels true for us and our bodies then it brings a whole other angle to it. If we take normal to be care of ourselves and by example others then we open up a whole new spectrum of what is normal, for in essence this is saying that we connect to and feel our bodies and live from that connection rather than accepting what might be dictated to us from the outside which does not feel or ring true.
Its great to read a blog like this which asks us to consider that ‘normal’ is perhaps not normal at all but in fact in some cases truly harmful.
Thank you Suzanne Anderssen for shedding a true light on the word normal and how we have used it – in contrary to what it actually means.
The word “normal” is a word that is regularly, grossly and irresponsibly used to appear to make acceptable harmful and unloving behaviour.
We willingly talk about our many addictions to drugs, food, nicotine, and caffeine, but what if this idea of ‘normality’ is the biggest one? Don’t we hide in the shade of tradition and what we even did just last week and is it possible that this traps us deeply inside and underneath? Life is constantly evolving and so are we, so does it really make sense for us to define truth and our health by what it is common to see? Thank you Suzanne for highlighting this here for us to see.
Just because we accept something as normal does not necessarily make it true.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” That is the only ‘normal’ that exists is what I become aware of and is deeply honouring of who we are.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”
This would be awesome Suzanne, let’s keep putting it out there, quietly and loudly.
What is accepted as ‘normal’ is not truly true or natural in most instances, be that drinking alcohol, punching another up, swearing or loveless behaviour. We have made things ‘normal’ because the majority comply, even if it goes against everything we innately know and are.
Oh goodness the Oxford dictionary has it spot on when it describes normal as conforming. ‘The Oxford dictionary defines normal as being that which “conforms to a standard: usual, typical or expected’ So this highlights ‘normal’ is not in fact ‘normal’ it is just everyone conforming to the same thing whether this is self-loving or not! We definitely need to question life, what we conform to and where this came from more, something Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are brilliant at doing.
Connecting to our bodies and what we feel to be true and moving in a way that supports our expression is a way to break the momentum of what society deems as ‘normal,’ and brings us back to our own rhythm and way which is truly amazing and much needed today.
‘And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.’ In the Netherlands we have a saying that goes like this; Just behave normal, then it’s already crazy enough. So, to express I am amazing is definitely not done, but better to be crazy and amazing than normal and dreary.
What we have accepted as normal is in fact far from normal if normal was set by the standard of that which we are. We have made abnormal normal and this is very telling of where we are as a society and as humanity. It is indeed time for a new normal, one that is based on the inner truth of who we are.
Sadly in the world, integrity, honesty, truth, responsibility, true love and true joy are really not a part of what society calls normal, this is our new normal in the living of this in our daily lives and little by little this reflection of the true normal goes out into the world.
We could be perfectly ‘normal’ but so unwell at the same time, if we fall for the trick of being ‘normal’ or thinking we are right because we have means to justify what we do.. then we could be way off track.
It certainly is time for a new normal, a new normal based on truth; thank you for highlighting this Suzanne.
The general normal seems to be increasingly more accepting of behaviour that is more extreme – drug abuse, pornography, terrorism, lower quality of health, corruption and the list goes on. Definitely time to change our understanding of ‘normal’ from the one defined by the numbers of people doing something to what is is naturally harmonious.
Perhaps we could make that which is truly healing the new definition of normal.
Such a good point about our normalising of behaviours that hurt us, isn’t it crazy that a treatment that supports women as the Esoteric Breast Massage does can be vilified and ridiculed yet a fight outside a pub by men who have drunk a poison all evening is accepted as perfectly normal, even seen as just some people letting off steam. Our definitions of normality are undoubtedly worth reassessing as we see a huge rise in ill health across the globe.
It’s interesting to read a comment from an Australian about Tall Poppy Syndrome. We also have the same in the UK whereby it is very rare to openly and truly compliment someone (and I mean without a personal agenda attached). We’d rather just cut down another than take responsibility for the fact that we don’t feel that love for ourselves.
Gosh – how many people have been crushed by the word ‘normal’? It is pure poison, because it entraps us in our ill choices even though we absolutely know them to not be the truth. It is a blanket under which we hide. It is a form of abuse with which we attack. It is a method of delay which we all use. Definitely time to reclaim ‘normal’.
Because something is normal or traditional does not make it true.
What we deem a ‘normal’ way to live is not always what is a true way to live. So how do we tell the difference? Deep in the heart of every human being lives a truth that is true and a being that knows how to live it. But we have spent thousands of years masking this truth with layers of behaviours, images, thoughts, beliefs and ideals that are not true at all as well as developing a way to move; in hardness, emotion and reaction etc. that keeps us in separation to the truth we carry within. Thus, sadly it is the ‘not truth’ that becomes the familiar way to be and because everyone else is doing it, it also becomes the common expression. This then affords us the excuse to live a vastly reduced version of ourselves and call it ‘normal’ when in-truth there is nothing normal about living less than the love that we are, it is merely common.
‘Time for a new normal’ – well said Suzanne. This ‘new’ normal being a return to our very ancient and ageless past as we live the future once again.
As is shared here, ‘normal’ is perceived as being what is common practice, even if it is harmful. That does not feel normal to me but in fact abnormal. As you say, Suzanne, “Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal?” And surely that normal is what is harmonious, loving and enhancing for the body?
Doctors refer to the concept of normal all the time; blood tests are normal, ultrasounds are normal, often because they have seen that before. Yes it is a good starting point to determine whether there is cause of concern or not, but it feels very limiting to me, to be considered normal or ab-normal as the case may be, based on what has been noticed in one’s lifetime before.
I corrected my doctor the other day, saying let’s use ‘usual range’ instead of normal, as there are many whose results live outside the ‘usual range’ but whose to say that’s not ‘normal’??
Suzanne,
The word normal really is quite a horrible word, as it comes with many connotations, restrictions and expectations.
What if we took it from our vocabulary all together, and spoke instead of grace, honour, understanding and inclusiveness. Sharing our lives with people, and sharing their lives with them. Each of us being ourselves, as we are, in truth. Here we would find humans-being and there would be no normal insight.
I like what you are saying Leigh, the connotation of normal is restrictive, ironic in that the activities we deem normal these days are what are commonplace, done by many.
Living by the impulse of the soul should and will be the new normal
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” Truly normal would also include what is evolutionary for humanity, so if our actions and choices aren’t supportive of everyone equally this would be a great indicator that it shouldn’t be ‘passed off’ as normal.
I love this. Normal is what is true for us, it is that which honours us, nurtures us, supports us to evolve. If others view that as ‘not normal’ then to be perfectly frank, that’s their problem – they’re just jealous!
Beautiful Suzanne, simply because we have twisted and twirled truth upside down – and made it our own version, and so what is normal is what is accepted by society- yet it does not hold this true meaning of what normal is. And so, we have made things be accepted as normal whilst actually they are harming and unreal (not supporting us as a humanity). So; like this blog is showing us – we have to feel what is our true normal and re-do the old.
What is considered normal nowadays is huge numbers of people suffering from exhaustion, diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular disease, autoimmune disease and the lists goes on. This is not normal so I totally agree with you when you say we need a new normal. The EBM has supports hundreds of women to re-connect back to themselves and her own body. That to me is a normal worth having.
It’s great how you expose that there are many things we brush off or just accept as the way life is that if really felt stands out as being very abnormal and not in line with our true nature. When we label harmful things as normal it’s like we’re ignoring them and allowing them to fester and grow, at least if we acknowledge that they’re not okay then there is an opening for change.
When we normalise something it gets us off the hook so to speak as it can make something that is harmful all of a sudden okay – that does not make sense and yet we eagerly embrace something on the grounds that it is normal. An example is drinking alcohol – this is a poison which we see the harmful effects of every day but we continue to drink because it is normal to do this.
I love what you have exposed here Suzanne; wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was no normal, only a ‘normal’ (coming from our inner wisdom) that was individual and expressed by each and every one of us;
“What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour”.
It is amazing in our society that if something is viewed as normal then it is okay. But this is such a fallacy as how can drinking lots of alcohol be okay, but many consider that it is. How can running our bodies to the ground while running a marathon be okay but many consider that it is. How can having loads of sugar in our diet be okay but many consider that it is. It is time that we stopped using “normal” as being the marker for how we live!
If we are all unique, have our own natural abilities and qualities, listen to what our own bodies are telling us and live from our inner hearts then life will open up to us, but in different ways, uniquely our own, so can there be a so called ‘normal’? Or perhaps living from our body and our inner heart will become the norm and each and everybody’s way of expressing their truth will be accepted as part of their unique way of being, allowing everyone to blossom in their own way with each and everyone appreciating and accepting everyone’s differences.
I love it Suzanne that you were dealing in your lovely blog with what normal really means – that is indeed not a normal thing to do! It is very interesting what you have revealed and it is really time that we as a society get this deeper understanding that what is normal for us is in truth not normal at all.
If only we provide a space within us to be able to observe people and feel the underlying energy behind what they say and do, then what is normal never need sway or influence us or really even concern us.
Gosh, very true Suzanne. We accept something as ‘normal’ when we stop seeing how abnormal the behaviour is; and that it doesn’t make sense; and, doesn’t have to be that way.
Abuse is one thing we accept – perhaps because we feel we can’t change it. We accept jealousy and backstabbing as normal. We accept corruption in the world and the media as normal.
And yet, when presented with something that is pure, that is the real deal – why is it that it is questioned? Have we become so accustomed to the lies and being surrounded by what is not our true nature, that we then have difficulty accepting what is true and is in fact very normal?
Love it Suzanne, thank you for a brilliant blog that exposes that the normal we have come to accept is actually so very far-removed from normal.
We often think we would stand out if we let ourselves be instead of being ‘normal’ as defined by the society and it would disturb others – I wonder if that is really true. What if everyone of us being who we are? Maybe we should all try this one day to see if we really don’t like that.
Judging by what’s happening in the world it has become the norm to treat yourself in total disregard and as a result illness, disease, addiction and general social unrest is at epidemic proportions. As you have said Suzanne time for a new normal.
‘But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us? – Many people may describe something they do or the way they are as normal even if it is something personal to them i.e. that is normal for me or I normally get up at 8am. This highlights the question that is there a ‘normal’? What if every person lived from the truth that they feel in their body about how to live, what to eat, when felt right to go to bed, constantly allowing the body to choose. Living this way we may observe that what is deeply innate in all of us is the same. The word normal has been manipulated and abused. Much is done in the name of normal that allows for ways of living that are harmful. It is time we challenged what is seen and accepted as normal and invite others to check-in more to what feels true.
On that note and just pondering for a moment what we might look and be like if we were confirmed and appreciated at every turn… and I think immediately of the Benhayon family. Every one of them is amazing in their own right, completely different in their qualities and skills and more significantly each of them with an unshakeable confidence and knowing of who they are and what they contribute to the world. One look at any of them is enough to know that there is a different way to live that allows something incredible to be felt by all around them. It is most definitely time to re-define normal…
‘It is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are…’! It’s so true Suzanne, we have become so accustomed to putting ourselves down that it’s considered normal, and often I suspect that’s so we can do so before another does it for us. Australia in particular is known for it’s ‘Tall Poppy Syndrome’ however I have no doubt it also occurs in most populations around the world in one way or another.
When you stop and consider it, normal has to be individual, so yes, defining a new normal for ourselves is what is needed. In terms of living in a world with other people, normal is really about being loving, respectful and causing no harm to others, and certainly is a new normal considering all the abuse, war, slavery, corruption, etc in the world today. To keep it simple, make living in love and truth the new normal.
The word normal has been twisted to mean ‘common’. There are many behaviours which are now considerably common but when you look at them, are far from normal, if normal is taking care of oneself and of others.
it’s a great question, what is normal? It’s what we have accepted in life that keep us in comfort, doesn’t rock the boat and keeps us in a state where we no longer grow into who we truly are. I’m with you Suzanne, time for a new ‘normal’.
Absolutely Emily, it’s called hereditary, where members of a family, often generations, have the same illness, so it becomes ‘normal’ and accepted and nobody bothers to question or look deeper into to the illness or it’s possible causes, only looking at alleviating the symptoms but never the behaviour or emotional habits that are learned from one family member to another that may lie behind the repeating of the illness.
An awesome blog exposing normal Suzanne. “But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?” It does, so how can there be a normal? And if normal is made up of a large group doing it, that doesn’t mean that the normal is good for us or let alone truthful. What if the group of people have the same illness? Then that illness would we seen as normal, as in some cases it already is.
Thanks Simon. My daughter questioned what’s normal food the other day. It seems that having a lunchbox filled with biscuits, packets of roll-ups, muffins,chips, rice-wheels…, sandwich, a ‘treat’, a carton of juice and a piece of fruit is normal these days. It’s impossible to go unnoticed by the crowd if you don’t follow this ‘normal’. This so-called normal food is giving permission for kids to eat damaging food – the ingredients on the back of a ‘treat in packaging’ should be enough to scare anyone! And I agree, the wake up is coming, if it’s not already here for many.
I was deeply impressed by this blog the first time I read it. Since then I have been reconsidering how normal gives permission for us all to live in a way that is quite clearly damaging us. Its unsustainable and you just have to listen to the radio for five minutes to hear how the NHS is not keeping up, the Prison service is failing, Aged Care is straining under increasing pressure and not going to be able to deliver. Yet we carry on with how we are living because it is ‘normal’. There is going to be an awful wake up call from this.
The lowering of standards in all areas of life is where humanity as a whole finds itself at this moment in time, and even though the majority of society sees, feels, and is aware on some level of this decline it is accepted because it is so wide spread, and therefore has become ‘normal’ and acceptable. Only through taking a stand in one’s own life, and not settling for less than love and respect in all situations can we expect this love and respect to become the norm in our everyday life.
I knew someone who’s normal way of feeling was actually a body living with 3 blocked heart arteries which led to a quadruple heart bypass surgery. The slow decline into ill health meant this person thought the symptoms were just a ‘normal part of life’. I think you’ve nailed it Rosemaryliebe, that it is a lowering of standards and again majority counts for far more than we realise.
I love this. Breaking down and being discerning with what is normal. ‘Normal’ it seems as you have shared are behaviours that are ingrained but currently as it is in society mainly are unloving, on automatic pilot and not truly nurturing. Years ago when I was a massage therapist a women came in and asked if I massaged the breasts as well in the massages as she wanted hers massaged. I was shocked, had never heard of this before and politely said no I didn’t include the breasts in the massage. Fast forward a few years and during a Sacred Esoteric Healing course it was shared that a new modality would be coming out, Esoteric Breast Massage. The concept was shared, why it has been brought out (because there was a need for it with women), the integrity was shared both energetically and physically of how the female practitioner would carry this out and the deep healing it would bring for women. While listening I could feel the deep healing of this modality immediately within my body and part of me saying ‘thank God’ and what it would bring for many many women. So yes time to heal and let go of unloving ingrained behaviours and bring a new ‘normal’.
What if normal came from a quality rather than a task? because as I’ve seen and experienced from Universal Medicine is that our quality can be equal but how we reach that quality can outwardly appear different. There has been such a focus on normal being everyone moving the same in order to be accepted and when we go out of these limited parameters (such as going to bed early) there is something that gets riled up within us for going against the accepted movements in life – even more so I am discovering when we bring the quality of how we move into the equation. Universal Medicine has presented that the quality we move with in life can be felt in our bodies and that it is this quality that makes greater waves than what we can visually see.
There really is no set way of normalcy for all. We each have our own unique rhythm’s, movements and expressions which ultimately hold our own way of being. These may be normal for us but everyone else may be different in terms of their own normal. It all comes from the truth of our bodies and how it feels is its own uniquely normal rhythm.
To simply be the woman I am, everyday with less of the boxes, expectations, picture of what I should ideally be, is very freeing, it opens up a whole new world.
“‘Normal’ is such an insidious concept when it’s used to override what we know it true form inside ourselves”. I love this Melinda, it is a very powerful and empowers us to be true to what we feel inside.
What you share is so true Suzanne. What is totally normal for me may be something that others consider completely abnormal. Either way we all have the free will to choose our own version of what normal is to us based on our own life experience. But most importantly, we need to learn to accept and respect each others normal without judgment or imposition and this is something I am definitely work in progress on.
The comfort and safety of being ‘normal’ are actually not comfortable or safe really when you consider the high rates of illness and disease escalation – we can find a new ‘normal’ for ourselves as we bring in appreciation and self-care to our day.
Living in constant appreciation of beauty and love of life, our bodies and the universe is an important part of our rhythm as the more we do it the more it becomes a normal way of being.
In todays society it is ‘normal’ to have breast cancer, or a bad knee, or an abusive relationship. In the past it was certainly NOT normal to live this way. We need to start calling our state of well being NOT normal in relation to what it truly means to be well because not doing so is allowing the ill to run further.
I work to be in service for the whole – what an incredibly beautiful way to view working.
“What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.” I totally agree with this sentence Suzanne, and it is also living in the knowingness that the more we do this the more people are going to react as most people do not like change or something that challenges their comforts in life. So holding and expressing truth and love is important as it helps us to feel the power and responsibility of our reflection.
If our normal is able to lift and inspire another and to initiate their normal to become more powerful, loving and more truthful, then so be it.
I can’t help but think how strange it is that some might think that having an EBM is strange. We nurture other areas of our bodies with massage etc why not our breasts which are the ultimate nurturing area themselves. To me it is common sense and loving to honour my body in such a way. The greater awareness of my body and my health as a result of this lovely modality is very beneficial.
That is really true, I once had those thoughts too. But when realizing now, I now know , by virtue of those EBM sessions, that those thoughts weren’t mine, and that this ideal ‘of thinking EBM is strange’ was purely because I had denied my connection to myself for so long.. This made an opening to allow those thoughts in, which at that time felt real, but when I feel them now, they are nothing more than a lie.
“usual, typical or expected”. I loved how you brought an awareness to these words. It has inspired me to look at what I consider normal today that others may not, and vice versa. How can there be a normal when you consider the hugely diverse billions who live on this planet.
Very well asked question Suzanne: But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?” And so it does not make sense to set a normal. And so we should all have the free choice to see what is normal and have no judgement if that is any different for someone else.
What comes up when that is written, is that we have accepted a version of life, by our own creation, that is not true or real. Over that we have made a mask that this is normal, a normal way of being, whilst we know that it is loveless and has not the full power we actually are made from.
We get so used to feeling a certain quality in our body, it can seem like there is no other possibility. But when you talk about normal Suzanne, it helps me see that what I have been considering as my ‘normal’ way of being, is actually not helping me. Just because it is typical or happened many times before is no reason to continue on blindly. I no longer settle for feeling hard and cold in my body – today I know I can live with warmth, connectedness and amazing quality. This is my new normal and why stop there, when we can continue to deepen everywhere?
The ‘normal’ that is reflected by Serge Benhayon and his family is very different to that of the general public. However, in truth it is the true normal as everything that he and they do is chosen in order to be harmonious with the body. Consequently it is in reality the true norm.
Love the title Suzanne, we have been led astray by using the word normal as a marker to compare what we think is acceptable, based on our ideals and beliefs and how we have been brought up. Normal is someone’s perception of how they should be and this can quite often vary from person to person. I know when I use the word normal it feels like I am capping something and confining it into a box that I have classed as being acceptable and within the parameters that I would like it to be.
Yes Alison and what comes into mind is also that we are used to do that – and that it is actually a form of control to do this. This has nothing to do with what is truly normal, but actually ranking our expectations and perceptions of what we can see, hear or feel. Time to get honest about this, and truly understand what normal is about. Possibly not the current Oxford definition.
The normal that is not serving us, in fact is lying to us, is so deeply entrenched in religion, culture, society, education… I have to honestly ask myself why I allow the world we have created to lie to me. Why is it that we put effort into maintaining an ill normal and bring up solutions after solutions whilst the ill normal naturally tends to fall apart.
People are challenged when something doesn’t come under the umbrella of what they perceive to be normal. Yet when we are truly honest with ourselves are our lives really supported by being normal?
You make a great point Sally just because something is considered normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy for us or supportive to living a fulfilled life. When we consider all the things we do on a daily basis which are accepted as being normal, it doesn’t bear thinking of.
It is amazing that when it comes to normal around breasts it very much centred around sexuality. It is considered in some circumstances more acceptable to have a cleavage and hot pants but feeding a child is considered as offensive. We are out of balance. To set the record straight feeding a child only stimulated the flow of milk nothing else!! It was in my experience and enormous commitment and quiet hard work, at times it was painful and challenging.
It’s crazy that in our society just by putting the words Breast and Massage together that many people would jump to the conclusion that it must be something sexual or ‘abnormal’. Surely what’s not normal is to relegate a women’s breasts to the realms of just being about sex or feeding babies?
The new normal is like making love. There is no need of wanting anything from the other person other than both to just be themselves and be devoid of any expected outcomes.
Because something is normal does not necessarily mean that it is true.
I love how you’re debunking the word ‘normal’ Suzanne and exploring what does it really mean?! It’s a term that can be used with a lot judgment and derision from having a locked mindset about how things should be rather than feeling the truth of any situation from our heart.
Indeed ‘normal’ is easily used to judge and to deride, to make what is common, but not necessarily the real truth of every situation, okay.
I can feel how I have used my ‘normal’ against others’ to judge myself/them.
Using word ‘normal’ in the way we have been doing – to mean a chosen way by the majority – is beginning to feel like a step-down. It feels like it comes with this sense of declaring ‘This is it!’ and imposing on those who are not in agreement, and it is bound to cause disagreement and leaves a gaping hole for separation, compromise and degrading. What if it simply meant what was innate, what was true, what was love and stayed at that?
I love your great new normal and it costs simply a moment of self-appreciation.
The old normal was always a line drawn in the sand that could be changed any time by a wave, but we would build walls to protect it. Today with the electronic, I want it now world… the new normal has become the hummingbird, constantly moving and changing. In the process of trying to keep up where are we? Open to what is being shown to us or still trying to build new walls?
We often do things that we consider normal because others are doing it, without much consideration of how it is affecting our lives. When – “What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings? ” This then can become our new normal.
Normalcy caps us. It stops us being open to change and justifies our comfort. When we consider the state of humanity and the rates of illness and disease, being open to change is very very important.
Thanks Joshua, you bring in something to consider here, that the high rates of illness and disease need to be looked at with fresh eyes, to be open to seeing how and why it can be that medicine goes from strength to strength and yet there is more sickness than ever. Why are we so afraid of standing out?
It is comfortable to be in our pains and hurts than it is to feel the confronting truth about what is really going on. Perhaps we are afraid of standing out because of the reactions and retaliations from most who want to remain in comfort?
Being normal is a label that stops us from discovering new ways to look at life. This in turn doesn’t allow for the freedom to expand and make new choices to support us moving forward.
Normally is a safety.. A comfort that acts as an excuse for us to not deal with our issues.
How many times do we do things that are considered ‘normal’ without thinking any further about what is happening! It is easy to go with the flow and assume that it is fine because everyone else also seems to be going along the same track. It takes courage to pull up, take stock and realise that we may need to change course, sometimes quite drastically, but it’s what is needed if we are to address the current chaos in this world.
Our normal could really be the level of comfort we have chosen to become comfortably numb in, which is in fact a prison of our own making. There is a choice in every moment to entrench the comfort or to respond to the call to be more true to who we are.
So true Annie, well said. Normal can definitely feel overly comfortable. Ouch.
Yeh, I am all for a new definition of normal. Currently I would not be considered normal – going to bed early, getting up early, living in a self-caring and loving way, considering the gentleness of my movement each moment, feeling what my body needs to eat and when, not consuming alcohol/drugs/caffeine/sugar etc. It is definitely time to re-define normal and ‘return’ to basics and the truth of who we are. Thanks Suzanne.
Yes ch1956, is it not alarming that parents are encouraging their kids who don’t feel like drinking alcohol, pushing them into it, because they are worried their children are going to be social outcasts if they don’t drink. It seems that ‘normal’ needs to be revisited.
I have seen this as well, Annie and find it quite shocking. Parents are encouraging their teenagers to drink alcohol because they see it as normal to do so and say that this helps to prepare them for exposure to alcohol later. But what if parents are wanting their children to drink because it makes the parents feel that their drinking is normal and okay! Normal does not always equate to safe and acceptable behaviour and often justifies certain behaviours to continue .
If everyone in the world was crazy… except you, who would be the crazy one? The world is slowly moving that way for what is normal. Do we in-join with the crazy’s for the easy life… or do we do something crazy and be ourselves.
beautifully said sjmatsonuk – i have often wondered if the whole world was crazy or was it me… and in the old days would have resigned myself to joining in or running and hiding out away from it — now I see the world in its craziness, and let it be, staying in the world, but staying true to myself.
Well said sjmatsonuk. I’m with you, and going crazy by being myself! It is absurd isn’t it, that what is accepted as normal in today’s society, is so far from removed what is truly normal.
What the majority of society may consider normal clearly doesn’t work, our rates of illness, disease and social disorder is continually escalating, however the opposite is happening with people involved with Universal Medicine.
What you say is true Joe and should be making headlines around the world.
There was recently a study that was released saying 9 out of 10 illnesses were caused by life style choices… and this is the normal people are accepting! As you have said Joe about the people involved with Universal Medicine and how we are living our own new normal. We may only be the 1 out 10 right now… but we are just waiting to the rest to catch up.
Absolutely true Joe and people are starting to clock and notice many of those people inspired to make positive changes because of Universal Medicine, and to begin living a new normal for themselves.
We can hide behind the normal. It is a safety. And something is deeply flawed with our definition if what it means to be normal now in our world today can actually be less healthy and well than what it may have been even 50 years ago. The number of illnesses and diseases are a clear indicator of that.
I have at times wondered whether this thing called ‘normal’ is nothing but a compromise and a foul one at that, settling for the lowest common denominator lest anybody get disturbed or a feather be ruffled.
This line here resonates quite deeply; something is considered normal because it is a behaviour that is typical or expected by a particular group or person. Many times we have let our behaviours rule us, being determined by them and not who we actually are.
“But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?” This is so true Suzanne; you have asked very relevant and interesting questions for us to ponder.
Normal should be what feels natural and supportive to the body not necessarily what the majority of the population are doing.
I have lived a ‘normal’ life, normal in just like everybody else. Did it feel normal? No not at all, it were unspoken rules we have to obey to keep our society going, to fit in and not stand on anyone’s toes. Living naturally is my new normal and I do not know where it is going to but it feels perfectly normal to me.
My upbringing was ‘normal’ too. But I’m looking at it now filled with unspoken questions on why it was done this way and why that way; I just accepted it. Like everyone else is doing. These days, I’m asking the questions now, usually they’re to myself to come up with the answer and it’s working really well!
Why do we need a “normal” we can hide behind instead of relying on our own feelings and observation and stand up for what we know is true?
The word normal seems to be that which is accepted by a majority therefore it is then easy to justify any behaviour, whatever it is. Just yesterday I commented to a work colleague about how I felt uncomfortable about a behaviour in the staffroom. To which the reply was ‘well it’s the same everywhere’. Since when does this give us permission to not question what is gonig on? I find if I question if something is natural I can connect to something deeper within myself or another that says a clear Yes or No. Normal gives a ‘yes but everyone does it..’ answer whereas Natural gives a ‘yes I understand whats being said..’
People often refer to what’s normal as those things that don’t challenge them and ask them to look deeper or feel the truth in their body.
Normal is simply what we are comfortable and familiar with or can intellectually understand regardless of its capacity to be harming or beneficial to our wellbeing and that of others.
Suzanne in your blog you invite us to look at what is being accepted as “normal” in regards to what brings harmony and healing opposed to those things that are quite obviously out of alignment and naturally not very “normal”.
Let’s look at animals as an example; it’s not normal to see a dog on anxiety medication, however soon as so many dogs are feeling out of balance and not ‘normal” the anxiety medication may be used and accepted as normal practice rather than a wake up call that energetically something is not really right, and not very “normal”. This practice becomes then “normalized” and people become comfortable and stop questioning the reason for the imbalance, happy to dull symptoms rather than see what is so obviously abnormal right in front of them.
Yes it’s wise to question the “normal” in your life !
Thanks Nicole, it is very interesting what you wrote about medicating dogs. The same goes for ageing humans – it is considered normal to be on some form of medication once in your 50s. It’s like many people consider the fact medications are available nowadays and consider this to be evolution instead of wondering why is it that relatively young people are needing medication to feel better. Wise indeed to question ‘normal’.
You raise some great points Nicole, especially your point around what most people refer to as normal……those things that don’t challenge them…absolutely. Anyone or anything that steps outside of the ‘norm’ can indeed be questioned, vilified, outcast sometimes, just because it can make others feel uncomfortable. For me, it feels good to be outside the norm or what others see as normal. I too feel it is wise to question what is ‘normal’!
Anything that doesn’t fit with other people’s “idea” of being normal creates such tension that even the tension is seen as being normal, being normal in society today you lose your way in life, it’s a great set up having all these lost souls
Yes to not drink coffee and alcohol makes me abnormal in comparison to the majority of what people consider “normal” in our society. Mmmm where did we loose the “normal” ??
I come to this conclusion too Doug; that if I judge, criticise, or resist another, then there must be something about the choices that I am making that I know on some level (when I decide to be really honest) are not true or supportive or even kind for me and I want other(s) to make such unloving choices too so I don’t have to feel alone in my disregard.
And yet, by seeing another as inspiration, this judgemental, critical, self loathing, imposing process need not ever be played out.
What two consenting adults do behind closed doors is nobody’s business but their own. Being different is being special, diversity is not depravity, it’s the way of life.
Lovingly expressed Doug – you are right, normal is very often considered as what everybody is doing. But this doesn’t have to be true at all. It is always about the true purpose and the true purpose shows us, what is truly normal and what not.
I agree Suzanne, we do use ‘normal’ to get away with things and to keep us stimulated. New normals have to be invented to keep us entertained, all the while we are drifting away from what we deep down know to be truly normal.
“But this is normal“ is the ultimate excuse of our days. It seems to free us of any responsibility and even if we only see one person doing a certain thing we pretend it to be normal if this definition suits us. Why do we want to hide behind what others do instead taking responsibility, making our own choices and claiming them.
Wow so there is actually no ‘normal’ that everyone does we have ‘group normal’ depending on where we live, our culture and perhaps financial status and age. Love the new normal we can all choose.
I hadn’t thought of it like this Judykarenyoung, that we have a group normal that is dependant on a bunch of status quo’s. To me this further emphasises how dysfunctional the current definition and concept of normal is.
That makes sense Judy. Having group normal is what we all tend to follow, it feels comfortable so we see it is normal by everything we see around us. but the reality is it may not be normal to others.
I used to find ‘normal’ used to go hand in hand with trying. Until Universal Medicine I never knew what ‘normal’ for me meant (or that there even was such a thing). I used to find being normal stressful and exhausting as I attempted to play ball with so many different ideas of ‘normal’. Normal changes so much and tends to be dependant on what others are doing or saying. But what about learning what is normal for us based on how we feel? These days it is normal for my hands to be warm, to not be afraid to point out a tone of voice that feels ‘off’ or disturbing. These normals do not make me feel stressed or exhausted, only when I go against them in favour of an outer ‘normal’. I for one am up for redefining normal as the ‘what everyone else is doing ‘normal’ doesn’t work.
Great point, “normal” is the way we hide and enjoin with the group, instead of standing up for and living the truth and reflecting this to all.
What’s dangerous about “normals” is that they become familiar and feel “safe” in that familiarity, they may even be defended or repeatedly turned to as go-to behaviours even when they are overtly harmful.
The beauty of normality is yet to be built and each of us carries this beauty. Expressing it will unfold the true normal.
Re reading this blog was great. As a school teacher I see many students normalise very hurtful and unhealthy behaviours. At my school for some it is normal to be nasty and bully, even their friends, normal to send a provocative and sexual text to someone, normal eat a block of chocolate for lunch. There are very few reflections at the school where a new way, a loving healthy way is normal. Many students think I’m lying when I say I don’t drink alcohol and think I’m boring because of this. I feel it’s no surprise that this has unfolded. The burst of fast food businesses on every corner and a race of people completely exhausted are going to reach for things that can prevent them from truly feeling what is going on. Humanity looks like they will need to get very ill and sick before the tide turns and people choose another way forward with what is considered normal.
I find it strange that we have accepted that the norm or what is normal is decided by a consensus of opinion or repeated events and or behaviour and not from a feeling of connection to what we know to be true from inside us.
What is strange Michael is people do get the feeling that something isn’t quite right or normal, however this feeling is overridden. This is in part due to the sheer number of people choosing unloving actions. I always knew it wasn’t right to drink or smoke but overrode this feeling. When the need to numb something exists, then no matter how abnormal the behaviour is, we humans continue to normalise these choices and comfort ourselves by seeing so many others making the same choice. We need to work on self love and care and then all the unloving choices wouldn’t take hold in our life.
You are absolutely right Tracy – I spent years overriding what I knew to be true and going with what I knew not to be. I also found that I made more and more of the unloving choices, almost to persuade myself that they were ok and were normal – to override the knowing. The moment I starting making loving choices in regard of me the other choices were very clear to see.
Last night I was out for a meeting and celebration dinner for work. All my work colleagues were drinking alcohol, eating highly rich foods full of sugar, gluten and dairy, also our beverages containing caffeine. Reflecting on the evening I am offering the fact that – what if I am the ‘Normal’? – choosing sparkling water, caffeine free drink, low sugar, gluten free and dairy free options………..and waking this morning with clarity and vitality to honour all the interactions and requirements today will bring? It is said that the other 15 people are normal. How can this possibly be? As you have said Suzanne – ‘What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour’. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve experienced this every Professional Development evening at my school. There was a plethora of unhealthy foods to choose from and coffee, biscuits and cakes. There were some fruit platters but predominately all very unhealthy options. If only healthy options were offered people wouldn’t have so much temptation around them. I’ve even gone hungry some evenings as only lollies were offered. It feels where ever we go now the option to be incredibly unhealthy is right at our finger tips and it can become a task just to find a healthy option. I’ve had friends wanting to be healthy but say it’s so hard to find a place that sells healthy food and slip back into easy fast food choices. Children at my school have many unhealthy foods sold to them and they feel these foods are normal and good for them. When I explain they are very unhealthy they don’t seem to care and think you only live once. We need a new normal around food, humanity has really lost the truth about what food is all about.
Great suggestion – that normal is what we feel within – and not something that lots of people need to be doing before we give ourselves permission. Your examples of what we accept as normal expose the fact that our current way of living – as we ingest poison and consider it leisure activity, or see violence as common, or holding back our expression as a woman as ‘being a good wife’ – is in fact strange and not supporting our well-being. I love that what is ‘normal’ is what we feel within – from our inner-wisdom.
Imagine if our normal was felt from within first and not overridden, wouldn’t the world be a magical place.
Normal is what we make of it. It is time to find a different approach to normal, one without competitiveness, comparison or seperation, a simple and loving normal. One that comes from what we feel deep inside and one that we can trust as it comes from ourselves and not from some predefined rules. A normal that leaves space for everyone to be themselves and express what they have to share and contribute – this is truly normal.
I love how you have exposed the concept of what is normal Suzanne, thank you.
I agree there can be no set criteria for what is normal; however there can be a way of living that is true. A truth that brings us to love, joy, harmony and stillness, a new “normal”.
It seems that it is normal not to shine, to feel gorgeous, or even to be fulfilled. Many have a dream of winning the lottery or sitting under a palm tree in paradise or simply seeking something that is not who they are and never feeling contented. A whole life can go by in a flash if we accept this way of being called ‘normal life’.
The sentence “It seems that it is normal not to shine, to feel gorgeous, or even to be fulfilled”, is very confronting Matthew. This is what I see around me and it makes me more dedicated to show another way.
We are living within a group of people who are learning to live a new way of normal, which is not really new but very old, one of love harmony joy stillness and truth, setting a marker in the world for what life is truly about.
Hiding behind the shield of “normal“ we constantly do things that do not only not support us or others, but cause harm to everyone and anything. Why is it so difficult to stop this pattern?
Because behind every un-loving, un-supportive new normal for everyone is the belief they are not enough and so the search outside of themselves begins or continues. It is this focus on what’s outside that leads to new benchmarks for what is normal being made. Starting with making a few choices that we do to love ourselves will in turn lead to realising that what we have inside ourselves cannot be beaten by what we create outside of ourselves, and voila, there is no normal anymore, just honouring of ourselves in each moment.
Hi Suzanne, what you have written here is so true, we accept something as ‘normal’ based on what we see in the world whether that be within family, friends or the world at large rather than feel what is true within us and actually claiming for ourselves that the feeling of love is totally normal, living it as ‘our new normal’ regardless of what the world considers ‘normal’ to be and showing the world actually there is another way to live.
Already at a young age we see children trying to fit in to the supposed ‘normal’ losing much of their natural expression along the way. It’s time to teach our kids that they define themselves what is normal for them or to say more accurately what is true for them.
It is horrible to watch 8 year old kids already living without connection to their natural expression. Perhaps when they’re at home that connection might still be there, but at school, it has been squashed out of so many already. Perhaps why the bus drivers find the trip home from school so much more raucous and rude than the drive into school, many of the kids have gone crazy and are showing off, creating personas to get the attention they missed at school. It is seen as normal behaviour because it’s frequent behaviour, but it’s not based on my definition.
Very true Suzanne, I see the friends of my son, eight year old boys, act very different at our house or theirs than they do at school to just fit in. If we really allow ourselves to feel the sadness of this we can start supporting them by acknowledging what’s going on in schools and make an effort to change things around. It is crazy we accept the way things are and the way kids behave in response to this as normal.
Suzanne I can assure you the behaviours I see every day at a Secondary School are far from normal but because more extreme behaviours are being displayed even the minor behaviours that aren’t normal are being over looked. There are many sayings too that protect children and accept the behaviour, such as, boys will be boys, or they’re only young they don’t know any better. When you speak with a student one on one they fully know that what they didn’t wasn’t right or normal, but when they are in that momentum they find it hard to stop. We need more people reflecting a loving way. This is going to take some time as many are choosing unhealthy and unloving choices and the next generation have lost the connection within due to technology and are tempted by unhealthy food where ever they go.
I work with babies and very young children and the striving to fit in to their family starts very very early on. I see the ‘terrible twos’ as reflecting an inner battle between wanting to express naturally and the pressure to contort their little selves to conform to family ‘norms’ and withstand energetic family / societal dynamics. SAD!
Yes that is terrible – I call this the “fit in” disease. Unfortunately there are not many true role models out there, from which the kids could learn it differently. It is so important to encourage the children to feel and to live what they feel.
The “fit in” disease…that is actually a good name Alexander1207 as it certainly causes us a great deal of dis-ease.
In a world that at times seems completely bonkers, ‘Normal and Normality’ seem like safe havens where one can retreat to and feel comfortable and not threatened. I suspect that we feel that this is because we are ‘with our own kind’. This congregating together and huddling under the banner of ‘Normality’ would be fine if it weren’t for the fact that certain qualities and behaviours that are prevalent here, aren’t particularly admirable to say the least; they are merely accepted as being mainstream, what the majority does, based upon history and convention. Thus, domestic violence, the irrepressible allure of alcohol and outbursts of aggression are deemed ‘Normal’ depending upon the circumstances. Your timely blog Suzanne, raises the question of changing our perception of ‘Normal’ so that it embraces and takes account of our true inner-selves, and our evolution towards where we once were. It seems clear to me, that this worthy goal has to be achieved before this word ‘Normal’ can be completely rehabilitated.
Jonathan so true. “Normal” is the group we align to to justify and bury deeper the truth we have just overridden.
When I hear the word normal, I think dense and mundane. This is because of the way we have used the word in all it’s limitations. There is no universality to this word in the way it is currently used and therefore it really is void of meaning. I might be going out on a limb here but it seems that until it becomes a common truth for all, then there really is no such thing as ‘normal’.
Interesting point Sara, a common truth for all we could call normal (the norm for all).
I feel the need to upgrade my ‘normal’ regularly, making the concept of ‘normal’ very mutable, transient and evolutionary. This is quite the opposite to the traditional interpretation of something ‘normal’ being steady, something culturally accepted by the majority over long periods of time.
A great observation that our ‘normal’ is forever evolving and therefore very interesting!
‘What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?’ Thank you Suzanne, beautifully said.
I so agree Suzanne when you say – “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.” And it feels so totally normal when we stay connected to ourselves and just live it without having an attachment to that we are living it, it is just the way it is, even in the face of any adversary comments or remarks.
I love this blog Suzanne. There is so much that it asks us to ponder about the quality normal and the effect it has on us when we aspire to it. What if normal was measured internally, against our inner feelings and our sense of who we are, rather than outside of us against what everyone else is doing? That would turn human life as it is currently lived on its head. If we pitch what we do against how it affects us at the most subtle level in our bodies, then we start to sense what normal truly means. In my life it was normal to run myself ragged, be anxious and not sleep. When I compared myself to other people, well I was ‘normal’ – lots of people I knew were the same. When I finally stopped to feel what it doing to me….not normal. Actually it was abusive. We need a new normal, and new measuring stick of what normal is. In my life it is not what makes me confirm and it is not what makes me feel good, it is what feels true.
That is the key Rachel, “normal is what feels true”. Therefore we must learn to discern what is truth by how something feels in our bodies. The ability to discern truth in our bodies is a science and practice gifted to us by Serge Benhayon, and what a precious game-changing gift it has been for me!
Suzanne I was drawn back to reread your blog today. When we use the word ‘Normal’ these days it means we just accept it, and don’t take any responsibility for it, what if ‘Normal’ meant taking responsibility, and only accepting it if it was truth.
What does normal actually mean anyway? Normal in what respects and by who’s measure? Better to go with our bodies that know exactly what we need at any time from the point of view of feeling healthy or not, and not some agreed upon or settled for scale or measure of something, after all, it is our bodies and if we stop and listen to it, will know exactly what is needed.
I agree Julie, our bodies must be the final arbiter of our needs and not simply conforming to a word of doubtful credentials.
The new normal should be everyone expressing their uniqueness which means there really is no such thing as being ‘normal’. It would hopefully be the end of comparison as we would all just focus on being ourselves. How freeing is that?
Great point Katinka, this uniqueness that we are really is just the confirmation that there is no truth in ‘normal’. Wouldn’t it be incredible if we all dropped the need to be something and embraced the uniqueness and as you say it would be impossible to have comparison which in itself would be such a healing on its own.
I am all for dropping the need to be something Natalie and I am learning to live this way more and more. This is so beneficial to how I feel and how I now commit to life for bringing all of me is truly delightful.
Unlike the freedom offered by living and expressing the unique qualities of our essence, ‘normal’ has a feeling of imposing a ‘should’ onto people and regardless of our nature we are supposed to squeeze ourselves in to fit. This makes us doubt that first feeling we get and override that with what is expected.
I agree Katinka and Natalie, we are all a unique part of the puzzle and put together we make the whole. If we copy behavior because we think that is normal or do not show all of what we bring then we will never know our unique contribution to the bigger picture.
Being true to yourself defines ‘normal’ as highly subjective Diana1975 which is quite contrary to our current understanding. How lovely though and I quite agree. I think we need to contact the Oxford dictionary quick and let them know that ‘normal’ needs a new definition.
I agree jeannettegold a new definition is absolutely needed!
So true Katinka. The acceptance that we all have our own unique blend of qualities that have been heavily influenced by our life experiences is essential to understanding one another and eradicating the evil shadow of comparison and jealously that presently destroys far too many relationships unnecessarily.
I like the rawness and reality of what you share here Suse “..the evil shadow of comparison and jealousy that presently destroys far too many relationships unnecessarily”. This has been going on for ages, it is time for change as it is so destructive.
My kids and I love being playful and we often celebrate that there is nothing ‘normal’ about us!
It is real freedom and truly a joy to live in that way Katinka.
A great demonstration of the negative connotation of the word ‘Normal’ Katinka.
I love this blog. It exposes the inaccuracies of our so called “normal” societal life so easily. Normal is surely for each person to choose, rather than a picture to be aligned to.
The word normal itself is so limiting. The level of normal in the world is a level that has dropped so low that it’s unbearable to belong to that perceived level of normal. If I were to speak about a way of describing my normal, I would have to use a different set of words. It isn’t my normal as such but my way that comes from feelings and impulses and clear body signals of what feels right or doesn’t. A great blog and conversation, thanks Suzanne.
So true Shannon! The word ‘Normal’ seems to have tumbled into a gaping chasm and lies battered at the base, while we regard it from higher up the mountain with a mixture of incomprehension and sadness.
It seems like “normal” is the excuse we use to live in self abuse, indulgence, and to be abusive to others.
Yep it’s definitely one big fat cop out an excuse that has ran it’s course.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine re-define ‘normal’ all of the time. Or should I say that they remind us of what life was once like and thus how far away from normal we have become.
Sally living normally is now at odds with living naturally.
In so many ways and on so many levels this is true Melinda, well said.
What we as a society define and accept as ‘normal’ simply mirrors the level of lovelessness we have allowed. Loveless behaviours remain unquestioned and are considered normal simply because the majority does them. However, if we lifted the bar to considering ‘normal’ being loving with ourselves and others, honouring of our body, speaking our truth and living in a way that truly contributes to our evolution and that of others, then we would realise that what we conveniently called was normal is in truth very abnormal. And thus, is it time for a new normal? Indeed. And, the new normal is a way of living which stems from our inner-heart and the true intelligence we find in it.
GD, I think that you have made a very good point when you say that Lovelessness is considered ‘Normal’ and this is the heart of the problem.
If we would only but feel the ‘new normal’ around us when we are in nature, then we would feel what is on offer. The stillness becomes stiller and stiller everyday. We – Human Being – are fighting that Stillness inside us. And in fighting it, we have to work very hard to deny that we are actually all deeply Loving and Caring beings. Life would be way more simple – also for myself – if we would all align to the energy that is on offer. This is not new, but the Stillness around us, makes it much much easier to connect to it and stay connected.
Suzanne – you raise here a lot of important questions and a lot of things I or we can pounder on. My feeling is as well, we can use “normal” as a super excuse not to step up or not to take responsibility in life. Thanks for exposing this.
‘it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.’ An unfortunate fact.
After reading this blog again, I realise how quickly and easily something becomes seen as normal. But what is truly normal is only what we feel to be right and helping us grow.
Very true Suzanne that when we say “it’s just normal” about something which is not true, there is the need to have the word “Normal” as protection to get away from and not take responsibility to what we know is true in the deepest of our hearts. Holding onto what the world has defined normal to be at present (which is absolutely not natural and not true in most aspects) is finding an excuse to not connecting to truth. “See the whole world is also not connecting to truth, so I can do the same.” This behavior is not only stubborn but selfish and arrogant for deny it we can choose to, but truth is known equally within us all.
When I had my first EBM, I felt how absolutely natural this is! I absolutely loved and welcomed feeling the connection with myself and the practitioner supported me in deepening this connection.
So what feels natural to the whole of my being has always come before what is called normal. Normal as defined in the present day world most of the time, does not feel normal at all.
What feels natural is how I now express my normal to be and the more of us express this way, the new but actually in-truth, old, normal of what is true, returns.
The definition of ‘normal’ is something that will change according to whether we choose to live by what we know to be true from within – which is the truth and truly normal, or what we are willing to allow the world outside of us to dictate as normal and thus be subject to the fluctuations of the day. Normal – from the knowing within is never changing, always consistent and loving of who we are and others. ‘Normal’ by definition from the outside world will always be subject to change on the whim of others and according to the level of de-sensitization that is occurring. There is nothing normal about ‘Normal’.
This was great to read and highlighted a recent experience, I returned recently from living for a month in tiny cabin with 4 other women, something mentioned quite a lot at the beginning of the month was “your not normal” and I was thinking ” I’m so normal it’s not funny ” it really shows us how we perceive normal to be end of the month I wasn’t normal just a little different.
When I read the title of this blog I began to reflect on my ‘normal.’
At 14 it was normal for me to be smoking cigarettes and drinking alcohol. Most of my friends smoked and all drank alcohol, as well as our parents, siblings, friends of our parents, neighbours, etc.
Fast forward and I’m now 51. Normal for me is I don’t drink or smoke, but plenty of my friends, our parents, siblings, friends of our parents, neighbours, etc. do.
They view me as ‘different’ and some have pointed out that it’s not ‘normal’ for me to not drink.
Normal is a word that has lost meaning for me over the years as I realised that dependent on where you were born, how you were raised, religious beliefs you hold and choices made each of us can and do have a different opinion on what is normal.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”
Now that’s a normal I can live with!
Great blog thank you Suzanne.
You’re welcome Julie. Just like religious beliefs are learned, so too are ‘normal’ behaviours, using the currently accepted definition.
When I started to practice the Gentle Breath Meditation and I felt that warm connection with myself I knew instantly this was normal and everything I had been living up until that point wasn’t. The normal I thought was true was no where near the new normal I could now feel in my body. It is time for a new normal, and feeling the difference between the two was crucial in making this change.
Yes SusanG, feeling what so-called normal does to us is crucial to be able to make a different choice.
What is considered normal at any point in time by society is a great indicator of where humanity is at. What is normal (usual synonym of what is ok) varies over time. What is interesting is that we get some comfort in the fact that we do something ‘normal’ because it makes us feel that we belong with other people. Or, just to show how deep this all goes, when you are thinking to openly break a norm, you can feel already what you are against and the social reprobation that will come with it. What is normal orders life for and against. Yet, what if what orders life is also bad for us? What if it harms us when it gets to health and well-being? In relation to that, the way forward is not to be against what is normal (e.g., go to the doctor), but to offer an alternative to it that you can decide whether to keep or not simply based on what it does to your body. The Esoteric Breast Massage may not be ‘normal’ this time around. It is not against any norm though. It exists only because women need it to be able to feel what ‘normal’ does to them and to be able to make better choices.
What a fantastic sentence Eduardo, “…It (EBM) exists only because women need it to be able to feel what ‘normal’ does to them and to be able to make better choices.”
‘Normal’ is indeed making millions if not billions of people’s bodies and lives a mess. Why indeed is it championed???
It really does not even need to be quoted as normal or not normal. It just is what is is. A nurturing technique to support the body. If it feels right then why do we have to justify it. It is not imposing or harming another. How did loving your body become such a heated topic.
Sounds to me as though the only abnormal is the way society neglects their body.
“While having an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM), it dawned on me in the middle of the session, – that this healing modality might not be considered by some as normal!”. Sad but True. In general, we’ve lost so much connection with our bodies that most of the people in the world do a lot if not everything to avoid feeling their bodies, let alone accepting the fact that it is Our bodies that reveal to us the way back to Ourselves. A massage is for many many people quite scary, too much, too intimate. A hug is already often received sceptically. I’ve read and heard – as a man – a lot around Women receiving EBM’s and without a doubt they’ve all shared how they benefit profoundly from it. How can it be different as it is done with so much care and love. One day this will be considered normal just as walking or going to work. Until that day there will be different opinions if this is normal or not. It’s up to every one to decide whether something is normal or not. Taking care of yourself to me is now very normal where once upon a time I did everything I could to not feel and not be with my body.
“…A hug is already often received sceptically….” Isn’t it? Already many of us have made hugging people not-normal. It makes a mockery out of the concept of normality when this is considered.
Absolutely Lee Poole, it is most definitely time for a new normal as the old normal is definitely not a true marker or healthy point of reference when you look at the world and its occcupants in their current wayward state of being.
“Is ‘normal’ what we should be aspiring to?” Awesome question Suzanne, and considering what is now ‘normal’ – obesity, depression, anxiety, drug use, violence, unloving relationship – I don’t want to be ‘normal’. It is most definitely time for a new normal.
Lee, I am with you, I definitely “don’t want to be ‘normal’”, and certainly not what is considered ‘normal’ for a 72 year old woman in today’s society. Hence with a few other like-minded elders who have now made the Way of the Livingness their way, we will soon publish our stories to show that there is another way to age, which is for us considered ‘normal’. As students of the Livingness, lets all start redefining ‘normal’ by loudly proclaiming what is ‘normal’ for us. Suzanne is spot on when she says “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal”.
A very interesting subject Suzanne. Like so many words, ‘normal’ seems to have been hi-jacked by those who wish to use it as a stick to attack what they regard as ‘deviant’ behaviour. It seems to define a narrow area within which people are forbidden to make contact with their inner-selves!
I love this blog and in revisiting it I realise that, who is to say what is normal and what is not? Is drinking between 4-8 cups of coffee a day normal? It’s not only acceptable, but has become the ‘norm’, similar with the amount of abuse that occurs due to alcohol and drugs.
So when a woman chooses to do something nurturing for herself like the Esoteric Breast Massage, quite frankly I would consider that much more normal than the person who is running off enormous amounts of nervous energy to the point where they are so completely exhausted they cannot get out of bed until they have their coffee… This is so not normal! The modalities coming out of Esoteric Women’s Health are the most profoundly healing and honouring modalities I have ever experienced. They connect me to myself where I can create the space I need to make choices each day to consider and care for myself. It leaves me feeling beautiful and wanting to look after myself. I know which ‘Normal’ I’d prefer!
Thank you Donna for sharing your experience. I agree the modalities of Esoteric Women’s Health are most profoundly healing and honouring modalities and have truly supported me to develop a deeply caring and honest relationship with myself.
You bring up a great point Suzanne about how we have decided as a society on what we want to be normal so it means we can get away with not having to be responsible for our actions. This irresponsibility has created a world that has hatred, violence, abuse, bullying and much much more. It’s time to say no to this way of normal and start choosing a normal that we know we deserve.
The new true normal for the world feels amazing and it would be really beautiful to feel true love and appreciation for ourselves and others from everyone . Now this could be the real normal for the world and us all to aspire to and claim. Beautiful and inspirational thank you.
I love what is exposed here about normal being something we have come to accept rather that what is true. It is crazy to think that normal might not necessarily be right. ‘it is normal to see people get drunk in clubs’, ‘it is normal for that boss to belittle workers’, ‘it is normal for people to be obese now’. Just because something is normal does not make it OK. Universal Medicine may not be ‘normal’, but it is true to the core and has inspired hundreds of people to consider their choices.
Well said hvmorden, there is a big difference between what is said to be normal and what is actually true. It feels like these things become ‘normal’ in society as an excuse and means to not really deal with their deep hurts and take responsibility. Serge Benhayon is a person who lives, walks and talks truth and I really respect that.
Thank you Donna. Abnormal vs. normal feels the same as good vs. bad – both ways to measure is something is acceptable or not, but both avoid looking at what is true. If we can be more honest about what we feel as individuals, then the world wouldn’t be split into these above categories, because it would only be measured on a case of what feels true. Arguably we would see huge shift in things like ‘being nice = good’, ‘religion = bad’, ‘being insecure = normal’, ‘being totally open = abnormal’ ; there are cases indeed where we have got it all backwards to indeed not feel what is truly there to feel and hence get to the truth rather than a society norm.
Yesterday in the news it was made known that diabetes, mainly type two, which is down to obesity and unhealthy diet has gone up by 60% in the UK in the past ten years. Is this now considered normal?
There are a lot of people nowadays considering ‘everything’ normal. As life is just the way it is. Of course a 60% growth in 10 years is absurd, really. The pressure on our Health systems is immense. It shouldn’t be that way. And it doesn’t have to be that way. Together we’ve got to raise the bar to different ‘normals’. Normals where it is normal to be vital, joyful and caring towards others. In my own experience I can tell it’s not always easy to be confronted with ourselves, but life’s getting a one unified purpose and it gets it’s meaning back. Living and working together, slowly or rapidly letting go of what we’ve accepted as us, but which in Truth is not us.
Normal is used often in a judgemental way; some people comment with; this is not normal how you eat, that can’t taste good. I am asking them are the chemicals, artificial flavours and sugars which are in the processed food at our supermarkets, the normal? Do we accept this poison as normal, served on a silver tablet – looking good and colourful.
This is very true Monika, we often hear the word normal being used as a value judgment, for example if you are “normal” then you are an acceptable member of society. To see through the ridiculousness of something being considered “normal” we only have to look back into the recent past to understand that what we once considered was normal may now be considered totally barbaric. The concept of “normal” is forever changing and hence is not an accurate measure of what is true and correct. For me the Esoteric Breast Massage is a true modality as it deeply supports women to nurture, care for and honor themselves.
What we call “normal” has become a sliding scale, and it only seems to slide down into more desperate forms of behaviour. While we have this sort of “normal” as our greatest aspiration, it places terrible pressure on people to conform. Our eyes become acclimatised to the drunken brawling, the hypocrisies, the culturally endorsed expectations (that aren’t working) to such a point that we cannot see them for what they are. What also becomes normal is the pervasive misery. We medicate either by ourselves or with prescription solutions.
It is not until you see a person living with abundant joy and health that that “normal” is placed in its proper context, becoming very abnormal indeed.
Like so many others who have commented here, I shall continue with the healing sessions that some may call abnormal, but I know are the most normal thing in the world.
I did research a bit about the word normal and found that is derived from the word ‘normalis’, what means ‘done with a goniometer’. The goniometer is a symbol for ‘law and humaneness’. If living after the universal laws and in respect of humanity is normal – I am in. But we bastardized the word to become: ‘what everyone does’. Imagine if we have done that with many words…No wonder that we are so lost. Thank God for Universal Medicine and their modalities which are supporting us to find our way back to the true ‘Normal’!
That is so interesting Sandra…law and humaneness. There is so little that is humane about the crushing qualities of the “normal” that is currently socially endorsed. It squeezes the life out of us brutally, to ensure we do not rock the boat.
Well I am all for rocking that boat, and shaking the comfort out of everyone until they are willing to embrace a true normal.
As much I would love to rock a boat with you Rachel (!) – do I feel it the other way around: We are on the boat of return (to who we truly are) but how we live -against the laws and humaneness- is rocking this boat hardly, so it does lurching crazily. It is time to bring us back on track.
This is quite interesting Sandra! I was just feeling that we are placing way too much emphasis on the word normal. It is a word that allows us to feel accepted or not, instead embracing what is True for us. Being normal is one thing, and clearly being True is another in our society as it stands. Slowly our planet will come to its own new normal as we finally get ourselves out of the way of what is true and loving for all. In the mean time, I’m happy to be on the edge of the norm, as long as I am me in Full.
Great research Sandra, yes we are blessed to know the true ‘Normal’, we all and everyone knows this inside their heart.
We accept something as normal simply because it suits our choice to stay in comfort and not rock the boat, because if we speak up we think we will be disliked or alienated. Which may be the case as reflections are hard to face at times. But history has shown that accepting things as normal and turning a blind eye, have evolved us to be a much lesser race of beings, just shuffling by in our own little comfortable worlds when deep inside, we naturally care deeply for humanity, as catastrophe and world disasters constantly show. It seems long overdue that we should be asking, is this normal, is this true and start to be truly responsible for our world and the choices we are making.
Beautiful topic Suzanne with such an amazing inspiration and reflection complementary healing modalities, true loving way of living all shown to us by Serge Benahyon and Universal Medicine it is definitely time to re imprint what is normal and what is not. Living with true health joy and vitality is definitely normal as is living from truth and love responsibility and integrity. The new normal is here for us all very real and the acceptance of normal needs to be revalued.Thank you.
Yes Suzanne, the repetition of certain actions and behaviours is now what we deem to be ‘normal’ – it’s familiar, accessible, safe and known. We hide in numbers and let other people’s ideals and beliefs about life lead the way, often overriding what we feel to be true. I feel like the idea of being normal is actually everyone looking for unity and equality, and all we have to do is connect to the Godliness within to know and feel we are all that.
‘What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking.’ … I agree and this ‘normal’ that we have come to know is so far away from who we truly are. So when people do speak up and question what this normal is about and actually live something that is truly loving, often we as a society don’t like it…. mainly because we have been exposed for how we have been living and what we have accepted as normal.
Yes it’s quite true the ‘normals’ in life like drinking alcohol, going to bed late and eating loads of carbohydrates like bread and chips and cakes and biscuits, eating sweets, drinking cups of coffee and tea with milk from cows – rushing around like there’s no tomorrow- this is how I used to be too. And I can remember a time when I was young that if you had suggested another woman massaging my breasts for health reasons I would have been highly suspicious. The truth is living outside these norms has given me a life that has so much more quality in every way and having Esoteric Breast Massages by a qualified practitioner has allowed me to find out more of who I am underneath all the impositions that have kept me away from knowing who I truly am.
Because we have made our normal way of living more like an existence, anything that bucks this trend is seen as ‘abnormal.’ Take for instance not drinking alcohol, this is mostly met with shock and disbelief. People tend not to like this choice because it challenges their own view of normal.
I like how you write Susan, when we expose the normal people do not like it, and mostly are going into defensiveness. It also can be taken as a chance for the true version of normal.
yes I agree, it allows space for a new choice to be made and once made, our normal is different to what it was before. Normal does not necessarily mean True though, it is just what we have become used to.
I agree Gill, Normal has gone pear-shaped and it is time to establish a new normal, I loved Suzanne’s definition.
This is such a big topic, which is very important. It is crazy to see that what the masses do is often seen as normal because of the number of people, and not the quality of the act or behaviour. I can feel when I look at the things I deem normal, and truly feel what the quality of these things are, I can scrape a lot off the ‘normal’ list.
You raise a very pertinent question “why is it definitely not normal for us to express how amazing we are”, one that we all might consider why it is that we hold ourselves less than our true potential in just about every aspect of our lives – not from a performance point of view but rather the knowing of who we truly are and what life on earth really is all about.
Thankfully for me, Universal Medicine is presenting what feels to be the absolute truth that I am able to choose to live differently to the past with greater understanding of who I truly am – an absolute timeless normal.
Hmmm – why is that? I do indeed have to ask myself this question … and then begin to understand that all these not normal “normals’ perhaps stem from this first anomaly.
Such a great point Suzanne, “Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” I know I have certainly lived in a less than loving way and felt that it was OK because everyone around me was also doing the same thing. I’m all for a ‘new normal’ and basing it on what feels true instead of ‘what-everyone-else-is-doing’!
Great point Melissa. I can very easily fall into this. If everyone is acting in a certain way I can find myself joining in and aligning to this and not respecting and honouring what I know to be true for myself. My ‘normal’ may be different from theirs, so it’s worth taking the time to acknowledge this and make the effort to do what is right for me.
I went to a wedding party last night and my cousin asked me to dance with him. I was reluctant and my body was saying no but I ended up on the dance floor. I danced but I allowed myself to feel and observe what was going on within my body, something I had not done before. In the past I would n’t have hesitated as I loved to join in and dancing was my thing. So when he asked me to dance a second time, later on in the evening I said no – I couldn’t put my body through it a second time! It made me realise the number of times that I have not questioned myself whether it was true to me when I have been in a situation like this example above and other situations, all because I had considered it to be normal.
Normal is one of the great retarders of human evolution. It tells us what we can or should do to be part of society, but can create an invisible ceiling that doesn’t allow for us to think or act beyond that. The give away that normal is not normal for me is that it is different for everyone and that it changes over time. It is just like beliefs in that way. We can be adamant the world is flat one day and then be adamant it is round the next. The only answer seems to be to know what is true within ourselves and be true to that.
Thank you for outing the word’ normal’ Suzanne it has been a word we have used to try to cover up so many things that are not normal at all.
I so agree alisonmoir – in nearly every conversation the comparison to what one does is ‘ but that’s normal, everyone does that’. Definitely time to change the marker for a true normal.
That is so true Alison. I can also feel how we can deny or override what we feel in order to fit into others ‘normal.’ Thank you Suzanne – let’s accept what is normal for us and celebrate it.
Looking at what was considered normal 50 years ago and what is considered normal today is very different should make us think about how true and lasting the normal of the times we live in is. Why not simply define normal from what we feel is true deep inside ourselves?
Perfect Michael – normal ‘in truth’ can only ever come from when we connect and deeply feel within what is normal for our bodies and our selves.
Yeah – there is this ever changing measure of what is acceptable and along with that an endless contradictory list of should and shouldn’t … when will we start to listen to our real inner wisdom which gives the straight message for what is and isn’t true (the one we knew when we were very young)?
Gosh what a relief it is to make my own choices in life, not those of some fanciful “normal society”. I remember going to the UK from Australia in the 1980’s and noticing how you could identify an Australian simply by the sunglasses they wore. Brits typically didn’t wear sunglasses in those days, but Australians wore a particular brand that made them easy to pick. It is astonishing how much we let the societal norms influence our choices, and cloud who we really are.
It’s true Michael, we are changing the standard of normal all the time. There is no consistency. Defining normal from what we feel is true deep inside ourselves sounds like a mighty fine and very sensible idea to me:)
I agree Michael. I suggest that normal is a poor marker. What we should be looking at is what is true and what is not true. What feels true to us then becomes our normal.
If you really begin to consider this concept of ‘normal’ it is quite crazy really. When I was growing up I considered it normal that in our family we screamed and yelled at each other. I stayed at other peoples’ homes that did not behave this way and considered them abnormal. This is just one example of how we deem behaviours normal so as to excuse them and not take responsibility for them.
Yes Marylouisemyers ‘…we deem behaviours normal so as to excuse them and not take responsibility for them’.
The repetition of unloving and harmful behaviour towards ourselves and one another is considered normal by virtue of everyone accepting that norm. This is why it is important to stand up for truth and the love we know we are. We are changing the standard normal and showing that responsibility is actually a gorgeous and expansive tool to understand the joys of life.
It seems the more we get used to something, the more we numb our sensitivity to it and eventually consider it ‘normal’. Overriding my innate sensitivity once seemed like the only way to survive in a world full of harshness, conflict and competition. These days – with the support of Universal Medicine, Esoteric Medicine and Serge Benhayon – I’m re-developing that sensitivity all the time and discovering that this is what normal is.
Normal should be an ‘alarming’ word – for what one considers normal, can often be deeply harming and not acknowledged as such.
My family normal was no hugging and no expressions of love. That is no longer my normal world, or what I would ever want it to be.
Using the standard for what society deem “normal” outlined above – it would be “normal” to be a cyber-abuser and or be abused, “normal” to experience sexually predatory behaviour or be a predator, “normal” to scam and defraud vulnerable members of the community. These behaviours are most definitely not normal even though many many people engage in them. That would be agreed by most if not all.
What then of the behaviours which are less extreme and more accepted – its ‘normal’ to ingest poison and call it beer, wine and soft drink. “Normal” to consume junk food and pretend it provides cost effective nourishment. “Normal” to drive oneself to burnout and exhaustion in the name of productivity ….
I wholeheartedly agree with you Suzanne – we’ve got normal (conveniently or not so depending on the scale) all wrong!
Quite right Helen. We’re all quite used to the concept of cyber bullying, or more specifically cyber abuse, because according to the Oxford dictionary, it is normal. Seriously?? We’ve got it all wrong.
Well said Helen. We become so used to behaviors ‘becoming normal’, that not only do we accept them we stop speaking up and saying no, not okay. Bullying has become so normal, we no longer expect the bully to change we have a complacency that accepts that at some point in our life we will be bullied so it is the target of the crime that now has to accept it as “it is normal”. This is not normal, and goes against our very nature, it is not normal to abuse each other, yet it has become “normal”. Crazy but true.
Ah what a great point you make Helen. Should eating junk food to the point where our bodies are deformed with the impact of the huge amounts of sugar and fat be considered normal? And should the fact that it is considered normal make it okay to do it? It is like saying everyone else jumped off the cliff so I did it (as my mother used to say). But seriously it’s time we all question what is normal, and with the support of Universal Medicine that is exactly what I have done.
This is a great article Suzanne, ‘What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.’ I was listening to some children I know that eat a healthy diet telling me how the other children at school would laugh at and talk about their packed lunches saying that they were weird because they ate things like salads and soups and all the other children ate what was considered ‘normal’ which was sandwiches and chocolate bars, I felt how crazy it is that healthy food is considered weird and not ‘normal’ at school. What was lovely was that this did not affect these children, they continued to eat their healthy food as for them this was ‘normal’ and over time the comments from the other children stopped as they got used to their friend’s healthy lunches.
This proves that ‘normal’ is a measurement : the quantity of people doing the behaviour and for how long they will do it before it then becomes okay, or ‘normal now’. Why don’t we just cut out the middle bit; the bit where those behaving contrary to the masses are ridiculed, and go straight to the end result, where we all accept people’s choices and let them be.
We cannot compare what is normal because each and every person has had his or her own unique existence. Yes, there may be similarities, but comparing our ‘normal’ and copying is a step in the wrong direction.
Yes Matthew, we cannot compare ourselves to each other – we may have a unique existence but we are all exactly the same in essence. To express and live from the place is our Livingness, in my opinion this is the ‘normal’ or standard that we are longing for.
Matthew I love how simple it really is that we are all unique, with our own expressions. It makes no sense as you say for us all to be doing the same thing. In this motion we become totally disconnected to who we are and out of touch for what it is that feels right for us. All doing the same thing is not way forward, I agree.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”- I totally agree with you Suzanne.
If more people stand and speak from truth then this creates a beautiful ripple effect whereby what is not truth stands out like a sore thumb.
I feel what we/society have accepted as normal is quite warped. Great examples you’ve shared with us Suzanne and I agree it is time to set the new normal. I am in training to start making my normal to be: expressing love and truth consistently. To have no comparison or the need for recognition. To receive everyone with the openness of my heart. To choose to stay connected, open even in situation of disharmony from others. To move with a deep connection to God. To express who I am completely in full.
I agree chanley88, it is challenging but also fun to set new standards concerning the normal. Your blog is very inspiring to read Suzanne as it motivates me to go on and make it normal to be loving, caring and honest with myself.
That is a great ‘new normal’: expressing love and truth consistently – and you are right when you say that what is accepted as ‘normal’ in society is very warped, to say the least, as that ‘normal’ includes going to war, torture, slavery, abuse, eating and drinking stuff that doesn’t agree with us etc etc. It is definitely time for a new ‘normal’ that is in line with what is natural.
Well said Gabriele, the current way of living and the things we consider normal is acutally disturbing. I agree that war, torture, slavery, abuse, eating and drinking stuff is far beyond what our natural state of beings are designed to be. This is not normal and the more we call it for what it is the more chance we will build new levels of what is normal and truly acceptable to live together in harmony and united.
I love what you have written here, how amazing would it be if we were taught those things in school. That you are successful, when you express love and truth consistently, to have no comparison or need for recognition, to receive everyone with openness in your heart and choose to stay connected. We certainly would have a very different world. I love these!! Very inspiring.
Great blog on what we call normal. Simple examples like believing the world was flat was normal, until we discovered it wasn’t. That means what is considered normal is constantly changing. One thing I would like to see become normal is people genuinely realising and celebrating how amazing they are.
Exactly Debra…’the world is flat’ would have been a normal perception once upon a time.
How beautiful ” one thing I like to see normal is people genuinely realising and celebrating how amazing they are. ”
This feels great!
Debra I agree this would be so cool to see as normal. To actually realise that we are incredible and to celebrate this for ourselves and to be able to do this in front of others without being judged or criticized for it. To start to feel that we are truly amazing and to look after and care for ourselves in such a way that is cherishing what we are is totally worth celebrating and for it to be normal.
Oh that is so beautiful Debra – ” I would like to see become normal is people genuinely realising and celebrating how amazing they are.” ALL relationships will change and ALL meetings between people would be so joyful.
What a brilliant blog about the word normal and all the comments bring it alive in so many ways and are great to read also from what you have brought up Suzanne, amazing and so true. Everyone’s perspective of what is normal is different and we can be so swayed by this . Offering truth to normal is the way to go. Let’s re-imprint the word normal for humanity.
Agree Tricia, “Let’s re-imprint the word normal for humanity” in all areas of life. What is ‘normal’ is what is natural and innate in the body when we are connected to love. Humanity has strayed far from this – the tide needs to turn and blogs such as Suzanne’s are paving the way.
It feels wonderful to expose what we assume from the word ‘normal’. Everyone is totally unique so we all have a different kind of ‘normal’, and it is ridiculous to assume that everyone will want the same things, wear the same clothes, be the same height, etc etc. What is ‘normal’ in one country or culture is not ‘normal’ in another. Anything that is different to us is going to seem strange to start with, but does not mean that it is ‘abnormal’. All it takes is an open mind and an open heart to appreciate our differences and our different choices in life.
I agree Rebecca, it is so important for us all to celebrate each others strengths and differences, that we all have our own ‘normal’ which is unique and it is in having and living with an open heart that we find the understanding and love for ourselves and each others ‘normal’.
I love this “all it takes is an open mind and an open heart to appreciate our differences and different choices in life” Wonderful, thank you for expressing.
Yes Jane you make a good point. Asking whether something “feels true” should be the benchmark for calling anything normal. Coming to Australia and marrying in a very different culture has stretched the boundaries of what I used to consider normal. Embracing differences, so long as they feel true to me, has been made easier by reading the many blogs offered by the students of Universal Medicine.
Yes Rebecca an open mind and an open heart offers so many beautiful opportunities for growth and connection to others. A real win, win for everybody.
“All it takes is an open mind and an open heart to appreciate our differences and our different choices in life” – wise words Rebecca and it is a great reminder for me to feel more deeply into this truth.
Even fashion is such a statement that we should all look similar, wear the same styles at the same time, almost be some sort of doll. Normal for me is wearing clothes I love, and that express who I am.
Wouldn’t it be great if it were to become the new normal to honour and respect our bodies as our own and learn to connect and nurture them deeply as women.
Yes absolutely. If we did that it would be felt by everyone surrounding us.
Yes and not just as women, this goes for the men too.
The great thing is Jenny that we can make that our new normal, it is simply by choosing to live supporting ourselves and our bodies. Our bodies always tell us what is true or not by its responses to how we are moving, what we are eating, what emotions we are expressing with etc. Our bodies can show us what is normal and loving and caring for us. At the end of the day “Normal” comes down to what we choose for ourselves.
It would be amazing, a whole entire world of everyone connected to, honouring and nurturing their bodies. This way of living has been re-introduced by Serge Benhayon through Universal Medicine, and now, for me, my normal IS the ‘Way of the Livingness’. In time, as Universal Medicine grows and this ‘Way’ of living expands out, then humanity will realise that this is the normal way to live for men and women everywhere, and the truth has been inside our bodies all the time and not OUT THERE somewhere.
Yeah that would be something Jenny. Instead of one group of people considering a member of their team to be odd because they always went to bed really early, didn’t drink any alcohol, ate really healthily and didn’t play sport because they hated competing against their friends, imagine if the situation was reversed… where one person in the group was considered not normal because they always went to bed really late, drank copious amounts of alcohol, ate junk food all the time and aggressively played sport just for the pleasure of beating another person – imagine if the normal was to say, ‘gee is that person all right they seem to be on a path of self-destruction’…
One day this will be the case.
When it’s written like you have written it Dean,
“…where one person in the group was considered not normal because they always went to bed really late, drank copious amounts of alcohol, ate junk food all the time and aggressively played sport just for the pleasure of beating another person – imagine if the normal was to say, ‘gee is that person all right they seem to be on a path of self-destruction’…”
It tells me we have got the terminology and the concept of what’s seen and accepted as okay upside down. At the moment, for us to question if a person is alright, they need to be virtually knocking on death’s door, so to speak. This is not how it should be.
‘Knocking on death’s door’. Love it Suzanne… and that’s actually about where things are really at in society.
This is a very important topic that you present here Suzanne and the points you raise should be ones that are commonly and regularly discussed. We need to step-up and live what is ‘truly normal’ so that it becomes “the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.”
I agree Jonathan, we can definitely step up and choose a ‘New Normal’. This is already happening and it’s apparent in the amazing people I have met at Universal Medicine. I am choosing the ‘New Normal’ through the teachings and wisdom of The Way of the Livingness and Universal Medicine.
I couldn’t agree with you more chanly88 and Jonathan- it is “definitely time to step up and choose a ” New normal” as seen and lived by so many people who attend Universal medicine, and students of ‘The Way of the Livingness’ from all over the world.
I wonder some times just how far our benchmark of ‘normal’ has slipped well below what is truly natural. Often I look back at nature and watch it’s glorious harmony and flow, then look at us as people and notice how disharmonious we are even finding difficulty in the tiniest of interaction, a conversation, a group meeting or project. So yes there is definitely a large gap to close between where we currently stand and our natural way.
Beautifully said Dean – yes there is a large gap to close indeed. My feeling is that is why we crave nature so much because it connects us to a much more natural and flowing way to be that we live so little in our daily lives. Thank God for Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon for re-connecting us to a ‘new normal’ and then it is up to each and everyone of us to live that in our own ways.
I wonder too sometimes how far we are from what is truly normal, with all the suffering and misery that is present in the world I often wonder if we are too far away from what is really normal and true brotherhood on earth to even be able to accurately imagine what normal really is. Because I know for sure normal is not abuse, it’s not slavery, it’s not people trafficking, it’s not illness and disease and it’s not suicide being a commonality.
I whole-heartedly agree Meg. True ‘normal’ is most certainly not the things you describe. No way — The slavery, the people trafficking and the suicide so common throughout societies of our world are not normal. They are the result of a severe global drift away from our basic human principals; to love and respect one another and support each other to grow and evolve. These principals may seem out of reach in today’s world social climate but they are not, in fact they still live deep within every human being — by design.
We just need wake them up again, turn them on and get back into life about being a one brotherhood again. This is not idealism nor even optimism, it is simply our future.
Great take on this Dean – a huge gap we are yet to bridge back to natural flowing beautiful us.
Dean I like here how you point out the distinction between natural and normal because I suspect for most people they equate normal with natural. But as Suzanne has made clear in her examples normal is a long way from natural because it is defined by certain groups of people at certain times. I feel the new normal is then much closer to the natural harmony and rhythm observed in nature.
I love what you share here Dean and it leaves me thinking, why would we need a normal or even a new normal if we can just connect to a natural way of being?
Yeah fantastic point Diana, ‘why need a new normal if we can just connect to a natural way of being?’
It kind of reminds me of modern science which every few years puts out a new understanding on an old topic only then to adjust it every few years to reflect the latest ‘research’… one year caffeine is good for the body, next year it’s bad, next year new ‘evidence emerges’ to prove it’s good again. This isn’t science. That’s just a new normal.
What is natural is an absolute and never changes. If I drink alcohol once a week without fail, rain, hail or shine, no matter whether it’s 500 BC, 1512AD or this year, it’s always going to be a poison in the body especially for the liver for that is exactly what it is a poison. No amount of new science or new normal is going to change the fact of what is natural and what is not.
So when you say ‘why need a new normal’ Diana I feel you inadvertently also expose the approach of modern science itself!
I whole heartedly agree. There are so many accepted norms in this world that truly don’t feel right. From the explosion of tattoos to organised marriages, infidelity, teenage alcohol and drug use, aggressive and violent sports etc. Many things are simply accepted as the norm given that so many have made the choice to be involved in those activities. I too have been hugely supported and nurtured by the EBM healing modality. It has been instrumental in unblocking some deep patterns and behaviours. The world needs many new norms and the acceptance of the current norms needs to be closely studied and exposed as not being loving or true.
A good question Suzanne: Why do we accept things as normal just because others do them? – overriding our own feelings along the way. Should not what we feel and know from deep within ourselves be the best reference for what is really normal for us?
If normal is defined by a group of people all accepting and partaking in the same thing then the Esoteric Breast Massage is definitely a new normal way of life to many many women. Due to the fact that it is extremely supportive for women to have and connecting to themselves in a much deeper way is very empowering and super healing. This is my new normal and has been for over 7 years.
This so nails it : “So the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody.” I have come to accept that my normal differs from a lot of other ‘normals’ and through this acceptance, it feels perfectly fine to be with and live my normal just what it is – normal for me.
Normal is simply common, even if it is common to only a few, as you wrote Suzanne. Knowing what is normal can only come from a connection to what is equally the essence in all of us – love, harmony, delicateness, honesty, preciousness, to name a few. Many thanks to Serge Benhayon for living what is normal.
Being consistent in what we choose allows us to create a new normal – a way of being in the world which feels steady and true and on which all the other “normals” cannot impose.
The dictionary definition does not offer that normal be a down play of who we can be, living our true potential, yet that is how it has come to be used. In society we expect only one person or a few can be exceptional. Yet at some point that exceptional level of awareness or capability may become the norm. Perhaps if we all allowed for this and even encouraged it in each other, there would be a community supporting each other to all become exceptional together.
Great blog Suzanne! Having lived in many towns I have always found one of the things I have had to get used to in any new place is what is considered the local equivalent of ‘normal’. Since attending Universal Medicine I have grown in confidence to know and live what is my ‘normal’ day to day life, regardless of how far this is away from how many in society live.
Great blog asking many pertinent questions Suzanne. It strikes me that we choose our particular ‘normals’ from a wide range of loveless ‘normals’ then we cling to our norms and ridicule those of others.
The operative word here is ‘choose’. We choose what norm suits us and think that’s that. Sometimes we jump norms from one to another seeking a better one and then rubbishing the one we just deserted. But deep within many of us feel we are in joyless rut within various aspects of our lives but do not know where to find a norm that offers a completely new way forward.
Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine have taught me how to deeply connect to myself and feel my own truth, to say no to harmful options and yes to loving ones and in so doing adopt a new way of living, a new norm that is mine. Not only is it mine, but many others have already opted for this way and it is has been incredibly liberating and successful for enough people to consider this a new norm.
The best news is it is on offer for all who choose it.
‘Normality’ is subjective, it is based on the most prolific behaviour. So it holds no moral grounds nor is necessarily based on any sort of integrity or truth.
Well said Jenny James!
Dear Suzanne very interesting points and yes it is quite shocking what is considered normal and what is not and I definitely agree that it is time for a new normal where expressing how amazing we are is normal. If everything what is considered as normal nowadays, which is actually not, can be seen as such again and our expression of self love and feeling is the new normal again – what a turnaround!!! Yeah we can start with this within ourselves being aware and reconnect to this, expose etc. Thank You for this great blog and sharing…so worth pondering on. With love Nadine.
Thank you Suzanne, “Is ‘normal’ what we should be aspiring to?” – No, I do not feel we should be aspiring for a stuck point/ way of being. We need to be continuously evolving and expressing who we are, and be open to change.
The fact the Universal Medicine has won People’s Choice of the Year award two years running says that there is definitely a new normal coming into play and making itself felt – across the globe.
When people have noticed that I don’t drink alcohol, they often comment that I’m so ‘good’ choosing not to drink. It has nothing to do with being ‘good’, but all to do with how amazing I feel in my body as a result of not drinking. Not a hard choice. The mere acknowledgement of my choice being ‘good’ shows that we do know we shouldn’t be drinking, it is not something that enhances our health and vitality, rather the opposite. So, this comment is, perhaps, an acknowledgment that eliminating alcohol from our diet is what should be normal but the choices being made to stay in comfort weigh so heavily on so many that it is a medication of choice. How ‘normal’ is that?
‘But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?’ Yes, and from country to country. Many ‘freedoms’ that women see as normal here in Australia would be against the law and punishable in some other countries. That’s pretty shocking. I love what you share here Suzanne that we are using ‘normal’ to get away with abhorrent behaviours. Yes, it is definitely time to take a close look at how we are living and a new ‘norm’ based on living from our inner hearts and taking responsibility for how we are living would actually be serving humanity, bringing us all closer together to live harmoniously with love and respect for each other. How awesome would that be.
Suzanne, it’s so true that ‘What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.’
It reminds me of teenagers especially who stereo-typically choose to do what is expected/asked of them by their peers because they believe they gain favour from their peers by doing so. But actually the ones who stand true to what is true for them and don’t drink, smoke etc who are most respected.
Great point Karin. Do we not say to our teenagers: just because everyone seems to do it – makes it not right to do so. Integrity is not built on “what everyone does”.
To re-define normal it feels to me that we need to get off using this term anyway. What does normal mean? It is a quote to be able to compare or judge. If the normal would be to not have right and wrong, not have “normal” as a definition for something: then I would feel a re-definition did make it.
Like you Suzanne, “every single Esoteric Breast Massage I have ever had has always been exquisitely supportive and has felt like I was giving myself the gift of clarity and wisdom”. It is a very powerful modality, especially so for woman who have spent a lifetime burying their femaleness and lost touch with their sacredness as I had done until into my early sixties. This has gradually started to change since meeting Serge Benhayon who inspired me to make different choices, and seeing esoteric practitioners for various sessions include Esoteric Breast Massage. Once experienced, receiving an esoteric breast massage became a normal part of my healing regime.
The way my family and I live may not seem that normal to many people around me, however I know that what they do recognize is that their abnormal lives very naturally in us, and therefore provides an opportunity for us all to question what truly forms our interpretation of normal.
I love your closing sentence Suzanne – “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.” This is so true and will be totally awesome when everyone can feel this as their truth.
Thank you Suzanne for highlighting something that can insidiously affect us all when we either want to fit into someone else’s version of normal – or do quite the opposite by rebelling against the world’s version of normal. Either way we are not feeling what is true for us as we are just looking outside of ourselves for a confirmation. When we go to our innermost feelings we will be able to connect to a way of life that is truly loving – and this is then our ‘normal’ and we will no longer have a need to conform to anything else.
Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something? What a great question! Something to ponder deeply.
Timeline – Ancient Rome – NORMAL = watching people get slaughtered by wild animals as a sport.
Timeline – 1930-50’s – NORMAL = doctors smoking and talking about its health benefits
NORMAL can be a very dangerous place to hide, as it can have little correlation to truth.
Joel, I like your timeline examples.. and indeed, ‘NORMAL can be a very dangerous place to hide, as it can have little correlation to truth.’
Perfect Joel. Slam dunk.
Thank you Suzanne for opening up this examination of the word ‘normal’ and how we use it. It’s really interesting to consider it and what it can mean to different people. It seems to be often used just to describe the most common way of doing something or most common belief about something. Just because something is common though doesn’t necessarily mean it has anything to do with the truth!
I absolutely agree with you Suzanne. The majority of our society have aligned to a normal that is set by outside beliefs or ideals. I am quite clear on my own ‘normal’, but still got enormous difficulties to trust me in the world surrounded by people who have different ‘normals’. I’ve always wanted a ‘normal’ of harmony. Where everybody’s at peace with themselves and others. But I do see now that this is an ideal that has little to nothing to do with the reality of Human life right now. And meanwhile I can continue living my normal – including listening to my body – and also adapting to other people’s normals or I can choose to allow the tensions between the 2 normals. I can feel there’s tension in me and it’s also work in progress. As you’re stating so Beautifully: “What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”.
It is seemingly ridiculous that something that is supportive and an amazing healing can be considered weird and abnormal, where as things that are not healthy and poison the body are completely normal and socially acceptable.
“To get away with a behaviour that says if enough people do it, then by virtue of the numbers of people doing it, that then can become the new normal” – I see this happening all the time Suzanne. Someone wanting to drink alcohol at 9am in the morning because they are on an airplane and encouraging the people around them to do the same so that it is “normal”. Sharing junk food around so it can feel “normal” because everyone is having it. Cheating or breaking road rules because “everyone does it” so it is acceptable as “normal”. It is interesting that these things don’t feel normal or true but we can try to “get away with” these behaviors if we can get enough people to join in whith us. Definitely time for a new normal.
I agree with you Suzanne it is time for a new normal, one that it not based on what we are used to say is normal but one we feel from our essence and live accordingly. Thank you for your very clear way of expressing and yes the Esoteric Breast Massage is definitely part of the new normal for women.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”-
Yes, Suzanne it is definitely time for a new normal to become the norm.
Hmm, normal as what we expect, thank you Suzanne. Currently I am working with a hydrotherapist and have caught myself several times expecting a certain movement to hurt. When I stop, clear my mind and start again, it actually doesn’t. So I am questioning which expectations of what I have judged as ‘normal’ I hold in other parts of my life and what those expectations are creating.
I love how you have brought the word normal up for discussion Suzanne and I hope I live to see the day where great modalities like EBM’s, connective tissue therapy and massage to name a few, and anything else that is deeply healing including what we eat, to the quality of our sleep becomes the new normal for all of mankind without people thinking it abnormal or strange and trying to brand it cultish.
I too love those moments when I am writing something and the right word pops in to use and I have never known it before. At times I have to double check its meaning even though it feels true.
I did not deem the Esoteric Breast Massage as ‘normal’ when it was first introduced to me. Having been an Esoteric Breast Massage Practitioner for 10 years now and witnessing first hand the immense healing that has occurred for women I see it as a very ‘normal’ and necessary modality that I would recommend women to have on a regular basis as part of their health regime.
Having an Esoteric Breast Massage these days is now a normal part of my self care and I love my normal!
What is deemed ‘normal’ is tainted from concepts, ideals and beliefs rather than feeling from the body what is true or not.
Hear hear – exactly. thank you for putting it so clearly.
What this blogs makes me feel is that how deeply harming and sad it is for people to accept things that are seen as normal, be it abuse, caffeine consumption, lack of self nurturing, self care, alcohol, staying up late, food intake, being in relationships that aren’t truly loving, not communicating or saying how they feel etc. There’s no one person to blame, or mission to be made, for me it highlights the importance of listening to your body and what you feel. And that’s okay, it’s not about what anyone else says, If other people get it and are inspired great, if they don’t that’s cool too. But it takes the pressure of it being a crusade.
Suzanne a great article that brings up much to ponder on. The ‘normal’ tag seems to then exclude the questioning of that particular behaviour as what people often think is ‘well there’s a lot of people doing it and so it must be normal and therefore ok’. It is normal and therefore ok in many people’s opinion to drink so much alcohol that they vomit. In my experience this behaviour gets applauded more than it does questioned. Recently I saw two people on different television shows talking about being so drunk that they lost control of their bowels. Is this the new normal ?
When you put it like that Alexis, it is ludicrous that ‘normal’ might be used for ‘sh*tting one’s pants’. As most humans communicate through the spoken language only, we have only words to express what we really mean. Therefore we need to be getting the true meaning correct and choosing our words carefully to truly communicate what we mean. Until normal is understood properly, perhaps we should not use it??
We can hide from taking responsibility for any decisions with thinking that a behaviour is ‘normal’ so it’s ok. Others do it too, so I don’t have to look and feel whether it’s right or not. Normal changes as we change, and I am very aware that how I live my normal life now may not be how others view their normal lives. I’ve found it important to be aware that we are always making conscious choices with everything we do daily.
The current “normal” is a concept based on following the majority. There is no true choice in giving our power away to do what everyone else is to fit in. We can see the effects of “normal” in issues like diet and eating patterns (obesity, ill health), alcohol consumption, and even past issues like racism during slavery. In this respect, “normal” is the permission slip to accept all kinds of harm to the self and others. We can get lost in the details of what is or is not currently “normal” but the truth is the concept itself does not work because we use it to not feel what is going on and be responsible with ourselves and others. Relying on “normal” is a form of checking out.
When a woman breastfeeding in public receives anger, or a woman deeply caring for her wellbeing and breasts in an EBM is considered weird, but the public sexualisation of breasts in all forms of media and daily life (in full view of children) is “normal” and defended, then a new “normal” is certainly needed.
The word normal for me describes a particular behaviour, way of being, personality, or trait that is a constant part of the way that we live and it is relative to the way we are. For example if I was to eat breakfast at 7am everyday then that is normal. However what I noticed often gets misinterpreted is the belief that normal has something to do with the way that others behave, and because of that we try to incorporate it into our lives, and use it as excuse for the way we are living so for example if everyone else in the world eats breakfast at 8am then I might change my eating time to 8am because that is “normal” however that is not normal because my body naturally wants to eat at 7am, and therefore there is an imbalance in my body that if not addressed could turn into a form illness or disease. This is not quite on the large scale of unnatural behaviours that we are now seeing in this world such as over abuse of alcohol and therefore the consequences of having such an unnatural behaviour in the body could only be far more severe.
I like what you reveal here Oliver. While you write your example here is not on a large scale of unnatural behaviours, what if the large scale behaviours we now see such as increasing suicides, obesity, heart disease to name but a few, are a direct consequence of not honouring of ourselves on a very basic, foundational scale, like eating when our body tells us? What if it is the very simple, easy choices that start us on the path of feeling for ourselves what is Our normal that will make a difference to what we see that shocks us in our world?
Your point is simple and very clear Oliver. If we adjust to what is seen as normal we deny our truth. Denying our truth is a choice and a step towards an imbalance in our bodies… this is a great place to stop and ask ourselves “do I choose to take a step away from my truth to fit into another’s or do I choose to step into my truth and lovingly support me in that truth, that will in turn lovingly support me back.” Which brings me immediately to know that I don’t need to step towards another’s truth to feel normal, because it only takes me more steps away from myself in search for something I actually have within in the first place.
That’s a great example Oliver of how we can live from the outside in rather than from our inside out when we take on another’s ‘normal’, rather than staying with what feels true to us. I really appreciate the presentations that Serge Benhayon has given and gives on living from our innermost and the joy and health that this brings.
I like how you have expressed, “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.” It’s being able to stand for ourselves in absolute self-regard, what is right for us, regardless of what anyone else thinks and says.
Yes rachelmurtagh1, not drinking for me is normal, however whenever I go out socialising it is considered very abnormal and always raises many questions, curiosity and lots of people trying to cajole me into having a drink. Very interesting.
The more I live lovingly with responsibility, honouring and rhythms to support me, the way of the livingness the more normal it is and the more abnormal I see the rest of the world with its illness and disease, indulging, eating habits, suffering and abusive relationships. Thank you Suzanne for sharing this great blog and all it reveals is brilliant.
Tricia, this has also been my experience. Once I started to make more loving choices for self and towards others, that is, I started to live the Way of the Livingness, it was life changing as my wellbeing improved beyond measure. It was as though after 60 years I was living as the true me. As you say, “the more I live . . . .way of the livingness, the more normal it is”. What is not ‘normal’ are the rising rates of illness, disease and suicides, and the indulgence, suffering and abusive relationships that plague society today. That society labels these as ‘normal’ exposes how far lost socity has become!
I agree tricianicholson, people’s eating habits, indulging and the increase in illness and disease, along with abusive relationships, none of these things feel normal, yet many see them as normal or do not choose to question the ‘norm’. There’s an opportunity to deeply appreciate ourselves, having made choices to take responsibility, honour rhythms that support and be more loving. This feels great to be the new normal.
So true Tricia, the more we live in a loving and responsible way, the more normal it becomes for ourselves and starts highlighting all the things that are not true.
Great article Suzanne. I love how you break down the ridiculousness of what we accept in society as ‘normal’ or accepted behaviour. It makes no sense to do something just because another does and not feeling what is right for us as individuals. I love your description of a true new normal ‘What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?’
Annemarie yes although I agree that it seems ridiculous now to consider what is deemed as normal in our society when we are in the fold of mainstream thoughts and behaviours it feels somehow impossible or fraught with danger to not do what is the norm. People who don’t do what is considered normal stand out and there’s something about standing out that makes us shudder. So we tow the line, we do what our group considers normal and so we perpetuate the activity of normal. It is only since doing the workshops with Universal Medicine that I have been able to step out of that way of being and have some clarity of thought for myself.
Thank you Suzanne for pointing out this incredible important topic of what is normal. I agree with you if everyone connected to their essence first then we would all have the same normal as we all have the same essence within us we just have our own expression in it. How different would life be, less illness and diseases, we would eat healthy for what our body can digest and create vitality with, we would not allow bullying and abusive behaviours with another, workplaces would be harmonious and super productive, our communication with each other would be supportive and always together growing and evolving, our next generation would be an amazing result from how we have lived our essence and truth. What a world to return to.
Absolutely Monika.. There are a shockingly large amount of different ‘normals’ in our society – Everyone seems to have a different idea of how to live and what they should be doing in their life. This has indeed created a lot of separation and individuality in the world; something quite harmful.
Wow this article is very inspiring and pointing out that what we have accepted being normal as society. I love the straight to the point style that you write, and this needs to be heard in the world.
With EBM I had the most healing experiences. This is the normal for me and many others and the number will grow.
If we took your blog into practice and started living our lives in a way that let go of everything that we know of to date as normal and start fresh with what we can feel and know to be true to our normal (which can vary in some way to others) then we are learning to live by listening to our inner essences. If everyone connected to their essence first then we would all have the same normal as we all have the same essence within us we just have our own expression in it.
Wow Natalie I was hit between the eyes whilst reading your comment by how the word ‘normal’ has led us sheep-like into the most ridiculous ways of living life. We’ve been bamboozled big time by that seemingly benign little word. What we eat, drink, when we sleep, the alcohol we drink, the drugs we take, the way we work, the way we are in relationships, the way we walk, the way we talk, heavens! it’s not a benign word at all, in fact the way that we match our behaviour to it, it’s a sleeping evil tyrant that has us not only repeating past patterns of behaviour but keeps us steadily accepting new ‘normals’ that are getting incrementally worse. Holy schmolly it’s a rort!
Kapow! beautifully said Natalie Hawthorne.
This is awesome Natalie – it shows just how much we have been conditioned into thinking and living what is considered ‘normal’ and at the expense of our inner essence.
This makes me wonder whether ‘normal’ has just become a handy label which separates what a majority of people do or condone as opposed to what a minority do not – with all the prejudices and entrenched beliefs that this entails. After all, it it is not that long ago in our history that the earth was assumed to be flat and that the sun was supposed to be revolving around the earth. Until, of course, it was ‘un-normally’ pointed out, something that had incidentally been known throughout the ages, that the earth is round and that it itself revolves around the sun. What is normal here? Is it normal to clobber an organisation or an individual who are simply ahead of their time?
It seems that it is normal Gabriele to clobber an organisation or person who is ahead of their time, as the history books show. Didn’t all the great prophets have this dilemma as well as renowned scientists and artists in different eras? What if a new normal was set here in the current age, when someone like Serge Benhayon is presenting out of the box we took a moment to listen and not react and make a quiet choice if it is for us or not, in which case gracefully walk away without attack.
Gabriele that is a very good example you gave about “normal” and the absurdity about it. This example alone is something to ponder on deeply but we chose to ignore such an incident because it is easier and much more comfortable for us to forget it. Thank you for reminding us.
Yes, I agree with you esteraltmiks, thank you all for remembering that there is a different normal to life, I am thankful to know you all – people who are not giving in to the wrong normal, but standing out because we are living the true normal, from our inner essence as indicator for truth which everyone has access to inside themselves. The standard of normal that everyone knows and has, just forgotten how to light it up so it can be felt and seen again. With our light we can help to see and feel it again, the light that we have inside our inner heart. Simple and worth to have a new look, as humanity is at a point where too much is going wrong – it is time to wake up and to listen to our own indicator of truth that lays within us all, waiting to unite as the one truth.
Great point, Gabriele, with regards to the belief about the earth being flat, and how we persecute those who are are dedicated to bringing us to the next point of our collective evolution by questioning what we have accepted as the norms.
Spot on, I love the example with the flat world. Ignorance and arrogance helped to keep this lie going on for a long time. Thanks to Copernicus who was allowed to speak up and to go for his truth and trusting into what he knew is right.
Those who present the next point of our human understanding or evolution are often persecuted throughout time. Yet at the time this happens we as humanity don’t see this as history repeating. It is only once the next point is accepted that we look back at what we have done and question why we persecuted the bringers of the point of evolution.
The point you have raised Gabrielle brings into question the credentials of the word normal. It seems to be, or have become, a byword for all that is unchallenging, lazy, safe, unadventurous, and even deceitful….the list goes on. It has always taken a brave soul to challenge ‘conventional wisdom’, even if it said ‘wisdom’ is to all intents and purposes fairly barking!
Great point Jane! Do we use ‘normal’ to stay safe and stable but in the back to avoid evolving?
Most definitely Jane, what you say here, our ‘normals’ will evolve too. The power of our so called, new normal is irrefutable and eventually will become, just, what is, and also evolve as you say, and become the next, what is at that time.
Very well said Gabriele, I have found that Universal Medicine is the only business and organisation that I have found that has promoted us to constantly evolve, not just in a particular skill-set but in relation to ourselves and others, because of this it seems that students from Universal Medicine and Universal Medicine itself is being bashed and attempted to be brought down only through the tension of being ahead of it’s time and promoting a way of living that does not accept standing still so to speak.
To me it comes back to an individual feeling the tension of not choosing something more supportive for themselves that makes them want to lash out at those who do choose more lovingly. This tension stops most from accepting what they deem -un-normal behaviour (as it is uncommon), in fact the non-acceptance is more in the form of ridicule and attack of the pioneers. Perhaps what is needed is every one of us looking more closely at the relationship that we have with the initial tension.
Such a great point indeed Sandra. It is easy to observe how often “normal” is used as a convenient way to stay safe, comfortable and avoid self-responsibility, growth of awareness. This is so anti evolution and as irresponsible and saddening.
Gabriele I feel it’s normal to be suspicious of anything that isn’t deemed normal.
I agree Gabriele. “Normal” is often used as a form of conformity to not challenge the status quo, to not question if there is another way.
Yes Lee Poole and Gabriele, like ‘good’, ‘normal’ as we use it today, is not universal in its truth; whenever there is not this universality of meaning in a word, there is variation in which to become instead something ‘suitable’ according to who or what we are assuming as our ‘normal’ (or good) benchmark. It’s such a squeezed version. And whenever we’re squeezed, we are only harmed.
“Do we use ‘normal’ to stay safe and stable but in the back to avoid evolving?” – I feel that this is most definitely true. “Normal” is a way to hide.
Brilliantly said Gabriele. All under the guise of “normal behaviour”.
You make a fantastic point here Gabriele and it is so clearly explained and obvious that this is the case. It will be understood and will become the normal as it is starting today when you look at the student body and how it is constantly expanding and growing. With people from all over the world that have come to Universal Medicine and realised that there is another way that we can be living and are willing to make the changes. Thank goodness that Universal Medicine is ahead of the times but really what is being presented is coming from the Ageless wisdom and it is timeless.
The might of organised religion will continue to gather dust as it clings to its involutionary doctrines – meanwhile those ahead of their time and devoted to humanities’ evolution will be ridiculed & dismissed until man’s entrenched suffering can no longer deny the consistency of the truth before them.
Great point Jane, it’s like we want to feel that we’ve got it all figured out and therefore everything should pretty much stay the same i.e. ‘normal’ and yet this is forgetting the fact that the world is constantly changing.
Today my six year old son asked me what a NORMAL car looked like? He pointed to a beaten up nisan micra. The absurdity of the word NORMAL really came home to me, as you have expressed Suzanne “the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody.”
Lucindag funnily enough the absurdity of the word ‘normal’ didn’t hit home for me until I read your comment and then I truly felt how we each have our own perception of the word normal. It would be fascinating if we could put each others goggles on and have a look through to see what each others idea of normal was.
I agree Alexis I hadn’t considered it in that way at all. Great observation and prompting from your wise son Lucindag.
So just how deep does this ‘normal’ thing go? Clearly society is filled with these norms… normal car, normal job, normal family, normal conversation… yet if these things are all based on varying and differing perceptions then how are we to arrive at something we can ALL say is true? We need to question our norms as much is being hidden and misrepresented by their existence remaining unchallenged.
I keep hearing this word now as well .. or it could be that I am just more aware of it. The other day speaking with two young girls they were saying how they weren’t normal, when I asked them what normal meant to them they just said you know ‘normal’! It seems to me normal means different things to different people so really there is no normal. It is a word that is used to blanket cover over everything and not go deeper to what is really going on.
What a great example your young son brought up with his question. It really showed the absurdity of the word NORMAL. Absolutely agree, there is no true normal, it is different for everyone. The owner of the beaten up car might have regarded it as quite normal to have, and maybe love, that car. That car may have had many memories for him. Who knows?
Haha so true lucindag. What does a “normal” car look like? And if we found one, would we want it? Normal can be an absurd concept. It feels like looking around at everyone else before you do anything to ensure that it is “safe” to do it rather than just expressing what is true for you.
Yes this is what we do consistently. I see it in school with my students also. This concept of “safe” seems like a great excuse to hold ourselves back from truly expressing in fullness our true uniqueness.
It seems to me like normal is something that sometimes we crave to be and sometimes we wish to distance ourselves from. As in, we want to be normal in society and not stand out, yet we don’t want to be bland so we want to be different and not conform, as many teenagers do yet in doing so actually most often do conform. We all crave a level of individuality, yet maybe this need to be different does not allow us to see how similar we all are, and that within that similarity is as much individuality as anyone could possible need. The key ingredient is of course love, for we are love and feel we are loved then we have no need to worry about normal, we just are who we are.
What a fantastic example. Perhaps if we lost the word normal much would change. By never truly challenging this creeping existence of the word into all walks of life we never address what is going on. However I’m sure that even with the eradication of the word, we would use other means (pun intended) to measure their worth or value against another. Perhaps instead we could be teaching appreciation?
Great point you make here Kristy about the normalisation of violence and killing in children’s video games. Then we complain about how violent some of our young people are and don’t bother to make the connection.
Great comment Kristy! I was staying at a friend’s house and one morning I could hear from another room her 6 year old calling out ‘Kill, Killl, Kill’. I realised he must be playing a game on the phone or the computer. It dawned on me that it has become accepted and normal to let our children play these violent games, this interaction is now called ‘playing’. Pretty shocking when I stop to consider what we are teaching our children. Because this is what a majority of us are choosing, it seems to then make it OK. My feeling is choosing to accept less as normal is harmful to us and to humanity. Whatever we choose, we are agreeing with and giving our power to. Just because everyone else is choosing to align to something it doesn’t mean we have to comply. We can each make our own choices and we can stop to really ask ourselves what are we really choosing to say yes to here? It’s a great wake up call to assess what is really going on and is this what we really want to live with, this current accepted ‘normal’?
Reading this blog I’m reminded that what we like to call ‘normal’ is really based on perception, just as Dean writes, and all about how we choose to see things. Totally individualised and yet deep down we can’t deny that we know what is true (and normal) – and it all stems from love and brotherhood.
This is so true Kristy, not only have we used the word ‘normal’ as a way of accepting abusive behaviours because everyone is doing them, but also using the word as a measure to compare ourselves and/or others from.
The Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM) is an amazing healing modality. So often women’s breasts can get marginalised into just being thought of as objects for sex or feeding babies. The EBM supports women to know that their breasts are far more than just objects and assists with healing all the ill energy, from past hurts, ideals and impositions, that we can hold in this area.
I love your last statement Suzanne ; “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.” This is where it’s at and something we all together can aspire to, starting with the little things in life and expanding from there.
If the unloving choices we make as a human race are deemed normal, the truly horrific atrocities that are reported in the daily news are not seen for their true horribleness and the tragic reflection of our complicit silence. There are people who do care and are making changes and speaking up. There is a groundswell that will one day change the tide and the responsibility lies with each of us to no longer accept the untruthful normal.
Yes! Time for a new NORMAL!
Lets go for ‘it is normal to care for myself, normal to have a deep respect & accepting for another and normal to support each other in developing’. Lets go for ‘it is normal to live a life of Integrity’.
I’m having fun with my new normal’s’ when chatting to people. They may think what I do or don’t do is not their normal but I’m holding my normal as so absolutely normal that I can feel the truth of what I say be heard and felt without an ounce of imposition making anyone uncomfortable
So true, defining normal by what we feel is true, go with it and stand up for it – not calibrating to the outside any more, but starting to live a life of freedom and responsibility.
There is that quote that says truth will first be ridiculed then fought then accepted. The version of what we call ‘normal’ today does not include things that are different – until perception slowly alters allowing it to be accepted. E.g. sugar is as harmful as a drug. As long as people look to be a part of a group for their own fulfilment and security, the ‘normal’ will be the excuse that we use to live in the comforts of our denial.
Absolutely Jinya. Fitting into ‘normal’ in today’s sense we can remain in comfort and stay small rather than feel our own inner amazing ‘normal’ and shine from there.
Great blog Suzanne. Judgment of another based on what another believes is a normal highway to separation. Just because another doesn’t meet a normal standard set by someone else, or a system, they can be made to feel less. If support and nurturing were to replace judgement, humanity would be in a very different place.
Suzanne thank you for defining normal as not normal, It has always bugged me how people justify themselves by saying that something is ‘normal’ yet what of the consequences of this ‘normal’ behaviour. What if we had no normal only truth.
I love this, that we can actually decide what our normal is and not continue to feed the harsh way of what society (being us) has created our normal to be. If we follow like blind sheep this normal accepted way that is creating havoc all over the world things are only going to get worse. To stop and question what this normal is and call it for what it is and follow what we know to be normal from our inner knowing is it possible that things will start to change?
Isn’t it utterly ridiculous that we allow others to determine our normal by comparing it to theirs?
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” I love this line Suzanne. As a student of the Livingness I find myself living a ‘new normal’ and it may be that people react to me for not confirming their normal, I feel a lot better honouring mine.
It is never a statement I am trying to make, I am just honouring what feels good for me. I have done this throughout my life, even as a teenager and young adult with the choices I made to not drink alcohol because I simply did not like what it did to me, to not party till the sun came up, to go to bed when I felt tired even if that was way earlier than the people around me.
It is great to show our normal to others, reflecting another choice that can be made, giving them permission to make their own choice, giving them the freedom to choose from their heart.
Katinka I made those choices since a young age too, to not drink alcohol, smoke or party, and to go to bed early. Only ‘let it rip’ and tried being ‘bad’ for a short while in my forties; that didn’t work out. Of course my lifetime of mostly healthy choices got me classed as ‘not normal’ in the opinions of others, however I’m very glad I stuck to what I knew to be truly normal and left the others to their own ways. Years down the track, the results show. If I could meet some of those people from my past now, I’ll bet they’d ask me to share with them what I’ve been doing to stay so vibrant, youthful and into life!
There’s still a long way to go before we learn what ‘normal’ truly means. If we stay with women’s health on a worldwide scale, in European countries the period of a woman is a quite ‘normal’ happening and there are all kind of sanitary articles which support through the period. In other countries like for, example in some parts of India, women even feel ashamed to have bleeding and they do not have any sanitary articles but re-use old cotton shreds which they hide from their husbands. This poor standard is the cause of serious infections and illness. The only way to change this is true Health Education and a break through old cultural or religious consciousness. So you see, for being open to EBM, women and society have also to go through some evolutionary process until it is considered as normal.
Yes, I really like that Suzanne, normal is what feels right for you, by you, on the inside.
I remember well as a child how I was told at times to ‘act normal’ or to ‘do normal’. What I can see now that when we say this to others, it comes from a reaction within ourselves. When somebody in your eyes is not acting normal, it just shows where we carry a strong belief or ideal of how something ‘should be’. For me when I heard about the esoteric breast massage for the first time, I had this strong reaction and I was also thinking no way, that is not normal. But this had all to do with me and nothing with the esoteric breast massage. Nowadays I love them and I very much enjoy having a session. It’s actually very normal, or should I say, natural for me.
To have a healthy sense of what is natural should be the normal, not the other way round when we try to make the socially agreed on normal natural for us but basically abusing our body and being.
Absolutely spot-on Alex! What is Natural should be normal NOT what is normal should be natural.
It’s interesting I overheard on a radio this evening that a recent case in the news around an organised sexual abuse ring and parties, that the children had come to be abused so often that they thought this was normal. We are so far off in life to our true normal when we allow things like this to happen and thought of as normal. This is far from our true norm.
Normal is defined by what a large group of people or things are doing. Never does true come into it. It is true and loving to be doing those things. How does normal mean as you said harming others or oneself. Would it be normal if all our animals lived like this “normal” destroying their life.
Why is something loving and supportive deemed abnormal. It shows how far away from normal we really are.
I tried to be normal once: i felt horrible as I was always looking at the external markers to measure how I was performing relative to them. I found it a horrible way to try and live a life and I won’t be doing it again.
I now perceive normality to be an avoidance of working towards a one unified truth: something that truly brings people together under inspiration and love, not by a mental construct of a “norm.”
When a one unified truth is the normal we have heaven on earth. Let´s go there.
This is a great blog Suzanne and inspired me to look more closely about what some people call normal. Thank you for sharing.
You are very correct Suzanne in showing that what is taken as normal is in fact an excuse to not take responsibility. I am in full agreement with you that it is time to establish a true normal, which is to “feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings”.
I like that Jonathon a true normal.
Absolutely, Jonathan. What could be more normal than that which is evolutionary!
A ‘true normal’ not just a ‘new normal’. I like it 🙂
Hello Suzanne Anderssen and thank you for writing this great blog, I appreciate it. From where I stand this certainly appears the case, “Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” From what I see around me people are crying out to return to a way of living they remember as being ‘better’ than we live now. Most remember the old corner store, the neighbours that shopped for each other etc. This is no longer ‘normal’ as we have online shopping and home delivery. It feels like we have moved away from something that was very dear to us and we continually use ‘normal’ to move further away. We should check the ‘norm’ and if it doesn’t feel right then we don’t necessarily resist it but stand up and live what we feel is normal. Universal Medicine and the Teachings of The Ageless Wisdom are returning us to a ‘normal’ that we have long since stepped away from and that is what I live, thank you again Suzanne.
I loved reading your comment Raymond and I see the same. In our quest to fill the emptiness we feel inside, this feeling of something not being right or missing, we are trying to better and are creating different ways all the time. But in moving forward we are actually moving away from ourselves and each other more and more. We are more disconnected then ever and yet call it progress. The only way back is inwards but we seem to be avoiding it, at literally, all costs. That is at the cost of our relationships, our health and our wellbeing.
Hello Carolien Braakenburg thank you and I agree with what you are saying, “We are more disconnected than ever and yet call it progress.” and the fall out from that as you say again “That is at the cost of our relationships, our health and our wellbeing.”. Thank you again Carolien.
Hear! Hear! Ray, “We should check the ‘norm’ and if it doesn’t feel right then we don’t necessarily resist it but stand up and live what we feel is normal”. Thank you for your wisdom. Resistance is not the way, it is just another ill-energy in the body. When we live in a loving way that is normal and natural for us as presented by the Ageless Wisdom, there is no resistance and others are inspired to also start to make different choices in their lives and to live a more loving way.
Thank you Anne McRitchie and I agree about “Resistance is not the way”. It seems like we have a belief that if we see something that is not ‘it’ then the opposite must be the one but this is not always the case. As you offer Anne the Teaching of The Ageless Wisdom from Universal Medicine have been a key to me, in not going with the normal but also in not going with the resistance. I have found where I stand and now live from that point for all to see. Thank you.
‘If we are so fixated on having a normal so we can judge others and ourselves and establish where we fit into society, then it is most decidedly time to create a new normal.’
Suzanne I love that you’ve pointed this out. It’s got me acknowledging that often people feel entitled to judge another based on another person not adhering to another’s self-perceived norms.
What is true for me may not be true for another aside, this judgement is helpful to no-one. The person who is judging another can be kept locked in the arrogance of being right when actually they may need to continuously refine their norm according to what is true to their body; or it may cause the other person to react and defend their behaviours without pausing to ponder whether their behaviours are truly serving them; and, without doubt, it’ll put up a barrier between people so that no-one is offering a supportive hand of understanding.
Karin, this makes me think of teenagers and how they compromise themselves constantly to do the “normal” thing and to fit in. Normal to many teenagers means self abuse through porn, drugs, alcohol, late nights, relating to each other through abusive language and not eating properly – the list could go on. When many teenagers refuse to partake in the above they can feel pressured or judged by their peer group feeling unpopular often leaving them sad or isolated. The fact that it seems the vast majority are doing this does not make it “normal” is just makes everyone self abusive but it is up to us as adults to change what is normal as a perception. Many of these behaviours come from the fact that we have “normalised” them. Alcohol consumption is a great example. When children watch adults getting drunk or drinking regularly – to them that is how things are done. We can’t then turn around in horror and say that drinking is now getting more extreme when we set that foundation in the first place.
The one thing that I can remember about being in my teens Michelle, was that one’s ‘elders and betters’ simply weren’t!
They were a huge let-down!
There you were, young and fresh and wet behind the ears and absolutely desperate for an adult to set you an example and none of them did! They all seemed to behave so badly in my experience, that it seemed to fall upon us, the youth, to address this. However, I have the older generation to thank for the fact that I never became a smoker. Green fingernailed adults, who coughed and wheezed every time they laughed, combined with that musty smell that always accompanied them, was enough for me! Somehow though, I didn’t manage to resist the ‘charms’ of alcohol, in spite of a whole gallery of wizened and aged alcoholics being paraded before me on a regular basis! Most of my friends were similarly affected by the repellent nature of the older generation and we all ended up, so we thought, going our own way, being our own person. Unfortunately, not many of us became parents and so were never in the position to pass on the benefit of our ‘wisdom’ !
I love how you share here Jonathan. You paint a picture of being around some very heavy smokers and drinkers growing up. It is sadly ironic that the generation who are supposed to be setting the example often in fact don’t so that the one coming though feels directionless and in reaction to what they are seeing and feeling. it is sad that as youths we really do know better but are unable to hold true to what we know because we lack that sense of self worth and eventually choose to disconnect.
This is a really interesting point that you raise Suzanne – “the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody”. How then can we strive to be normal and try to conform to that, when in fact there is no real ‘normal’, due to everyone’s differing perceptions of it, as well as the forever changing state of the ‘norm’, as different people start to accept/reject different practices in daily life. For example, years ago it would be normal to smoke, and only now are people starting to see it as not so normal, even though all along it has damaged our health.
What you demonstrate here Jessica is the ephemeral nature of ‘normal’. Every generation and social grouping has its own idea of what constitutes ‘normal’. Fashions change in our behaviour and habits and yesterday’s normal, as you show with the smoking example, becomes today’s abnormal, today’s oddity. With this in mind perhaps we should relieve the word ‘normal’ of some of its responsibility by using it less and less, until we as a society regain our way, our direction, perhaps the precise moment when everybody becomes a student of the esoteric will be the right moment to reinstate and rehabilitate the word ‘normal’ to mean that which is the truth for all of us.
A great question you ask Suzanne – ‘are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?’ In lessening ourselves to fit with what is the norm actually says I accept you keeping yourself small as it gives me permission to not be all I can be too – that is most definitely abnormal to who we innately are.
What is perceived as ‘normal’ is actually really quite harming as it stops us from listening to and honouring our bodies. I just had a thought of families where children are given certain foods and drinks because it is ‘normal’ enabling them to override and ignore what their body is telling them from a young age. I love what you have shared Suzanne and the comments, revelations and discussions that have come from this.
What could be more normal than having an Esoteric Breast Massage if such a modality helped restore a woman’s natural love, self-worth and confidence in herself.
How deeply honouring of women you are in your expression Dean – thank you – this is deeply felt.
It used to be normal for me to drink, smoke and take drugs on a daily basis, My new normal is so far from this with eating what feels right, early nights with nothing harmful.This is considered abnormal by my old mates who still do what I used to, but one day I think we will all wake unto the fact it is pretty abnormal to harm ourselves when there is clearly a better, more loving choice.
That’s incredible Kev – how you have changed your own normals, and not waited for society and others to change theirs. What an inspiration.
I remember growing up and a favorite saying from my mother was ‘So, if everyone was jumping off a bridge would you do it’ was the usual reply I got for having done something that I justified by saying everyone else was doing it. Times change the meaning of normal changes all the time… people now pay others to tie a large bungee strap to them, and then jump willingly off bridges…and it is normal.
As the Esoteric Breast Massage supports me to bring the whole of myself back to its naturally harmonious state, I have experienced a ‘new normal’ each time as my body and being resonates, deepening my relationship with harmony more and more.
Love what you are saying here Jenny – I agree, if we are open to listening to what our body is telling us and truly honour our own innate wisdom, we will by nature experience a ’new normal’ in all that we do. This is how we can keep developing and choose not to stay in the old patterns.
Thank you for this insightful blog. Considering this topic I realise that I have now many moments that the expected ‘norms’ have been surpassed and the response has been a delight, an appreciation and an inspiration. However I have also noticed that at times when the ‘norm’ has been surpassed, there is an outrage and a complaint about it – and that is usually because some aspect of the comfortable life which we know deep down is not okay is being shown up and we are asked to be more responsible when we would rather not even look at it thank you. I like your definition of ‘normal’:“What is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings”. If we honour ourselves with this normal, there would be no reason to react to others also honouring themselves.
I heard a talk on changing societal values in each century, and it transpired that before the middle of the nineteenth century, when there were a greater number of people with physical disabilities who weren’t hidden away but lived their lives alongside everyone else, abnormal was accepted as normal and equal, it was all part of everyday human life and accepted, and there were plenty of eccentrics too who were accepted as such and valued for their contribution to society, However, someone, I can’t remember who, brought in the concept and coined the word normal to mean something specific, that is the majority view and way of living. From then on there was a split, and gradually the disabled were marginalised and separated, and the eccentrics considered weird, with great loss to the richness of all our lives.
This is really interesting Joan. It makes sense that ‘normal’ should include everybody, even those with abnormalities, and that whatever ones ‘normal’ happens to be this is considered ‘normal’ in society.
That’s interesting joanchristinecalder, it let’s us see how ‘normal’ is a constantly changing parameter, that ‘normal’ is not/has not been a consistent and known way of being for all, but a shifting idea depending on what that time/epoch may decide. Whereas in truth Normal is our God given, natural state of being.
This is very interesting joanchristinecalder as it describes the way that we seem to have lost the ‘inclusiveness’ in our approach to society. I remember hearing that former female prime minister of ours denying the existence of society, and feeling how wrong that statement was. As you say the richness in society comes from the sheer diversity of the lives of the population.
I just realised on reading your comment Jonathan, that a more diverse society probably encourages greater understanding, –if we are willing to see it, — that we are all the same inside and equal. When we meet people so different from us and with different customs and life style, we have to make the effort to feel and understand them, rather than being able to stay with the comfort of the normality of all being the same, (on the outside). It is all about the inside where we all meet, the other is all trappings, and do they trap us! It’s about time for a change, and Serge Benhayon brings us that opportunity.
Really interesting joanchristinecalder what you’ve shared with us about societal values of ‘norma’l back in the nineteenth century and I love what you say “It is all about the inside where we meet. The other is all trappings”. If we look and feel beyond the difference of another, their culture, customs, nationality, life style, beliefs, disability, upbringing etc, everything that is ‘believed’ to shape who we are, then we can’t miss the commonality, the familiarity and the equality we have with all. It’s a known.
Yes Elizabeth, I feel we do all know it, but are too stuck in our comfort zones and afraid to admit it. I feel fear of survival has a lot to do with it, as I observe the common reaction to immigration in the UK. How amazing if those who reject the incomers were to open their arms and embrace their coming as a benefit to everyone, and then the whole of the community would be enriched, and they would probably find that the threat was not so huge after all, in fact, things could evolve for the better.
Suzanne, I love how you have highlighted examples of what we call normal that are horrific, degrading and harmful, as it exposes what we have blindly accepted without question if it does not seemingly affect us in our daily lives. But we need to wake up to the fact that it does indeed affect us all.
Suzanne thanks for your beautiful blog, it raises a few important questions – you are right, we are using ‘normal’ as a way to get off the hook and to be seen as being good enough, when actually we know that we are nowhere near honesty or truth. Instead we can excuse ourselves and go ‘but everybody does the same’. I know up until I met Serge Benhayon and really started to understand the consequences of my choices and how it affects the whole, I would always hide behind that sentence. For me it was perfectly ‘normal’ to live behind a facade and not let anyone see who I truly am.
There is absolutely nothing ‘normal’ in this world outside of being the true me within it.
Kylie, I love the simplicity of your powerful and true statement – thank you.
Wow Kylie, what a powerful statement – cutting straight to the truth. And I agree 100%, ‘There is absolutely nothing ‘normal’ in this world outside of being the true me within it.’
Thanks Suzanne for reminding me so beautifully to let my normal be the normal I live by, and let my normal grow and expand all the time as I want to live by my normal of right now!
With up to 80% of the top 5 illness & diseases being lifestyle choices you raise a very valid point for us all to address as a society. It makes common sense for what we consider ‘normal’ to be on par with a healthy life.. but sadly this is not the case. Obesity is more prevalent than ever before – is this because what we think is ‘normal’ food is actually not normal in our bodies?
Domestic violence, sexual abuse, cancer, bullying, war & economic disasters have all become pretty ‘normal’ events – what is it about the way we are living and interacting with each other that allows this to be the case.
Abby you share in your comment that: “With up to 80% of the top 5 illness & diseases being lifestyle choices” Wow – I was not aware of that. It is strange that we as human beings are not asking ourselves why is it so – perhaps it is because this number was not printed on our front page newspaper and therefore like me the others don’t know how serious our health situation actually is.
Very good point Abby – even though lifestyle induced illness and disease is absolutely through the roof… We still haven’t changed our societal ideas of what is and isn’t ‘normal’. 80% is a HUGE figure, and I’m sure thousands or more people are aware of how their lifestyle affects their wellbeing, but everyday millions of cigarettes are being smoked and thousands of gallons of alcohol are drunk – both habits can have life threatening side affects BUT BECAUSE THEY ARE NORMAL WE CONTINUE DOING THEM.
How is it that we can accept things as normal when they are not at all loving to the body? If enough people do it then it must be okay cause it’s normal. And if you don’t do it you are often considered abnormal or even a bit weird. Even if we establish a new normal would there still be that division between normal and abnormal which separates us into two camps?
Great point, Sandra: we have set things up to separate ourselves from each other in terms of what we accept normality to be, this, in spite of the clearly demonstrated fact that just about anything can be considered as normal, irrespective of its other attributes. Choosing not to accept a particular group’s concepts of normality results in the labelling of abnormality and history is liberally littered with heinous tales of what happens to people who wear the tag of abnormality.
That is a distinctly different construct to that of a ‘one unified truth.’
Do we accept normality as an excuse to avoid the consideration of the possibility of a one unified truth?
Perhaps the word ‘Normal’ is just no longer relevant due to the fact that the ‘normal’ or common practices of such a large number of people, have in effect devalued or downgraded the word.
Imagine a few hundred years ago in some distant and remote civilisations where cannibalism was rife, it would have been considered perfectly ‘normal’ to the indigenous population to eat human flesh. In the nineteenth century it was ‘normal’ for young children to work long hours in dangerous factories. Social reform and change have swept away many things that were unacceptable and the word ‘normal’ is scribed on shifting sands, and as such it can not be used to describe an ideal or paradigm as it is simply too tainted with its past. It seems to be the fate of certain words to be simply shunted into some disused siding somewhere, where they can no longer wreak havoc with our language, and I suspect that before long, ‘normal’ will be joining them.
I totally agree it is time to re establish a new normal. Letting go of the ‘should be’s’ to fit in and letting myself simply be who I am and allowing this as my normal has been a extraordinary process, one that I continually am shedding more of all these ideals and beliefs of what I have held onto thinking they were what made me who I am. The EBM has been the most supportive modality I have ever known with assisting me to drop and connect to the sweet, delicate, tender and sacred woman that I am.
I feel that many of my family and friends are starting to express that what they experience as normal isn’t good enough. I’m frequently surprised in catching up with family and friends I haven’t seen for a while, who have gained greater awareness about specific aspects of their life. They actually are not OK with their current health any more, but, seldom know how to go about creating that sustained changed or improvement. It’s time to ‘up’ normal; everyone deserves an awesome normal.
I love your comment Oliver, especially this part: “Everyone deserves an awesome normal.” We all do, so let’s up the normal with ourselves which then can reflect to others and offer an impulse to up theirs and then it can be a massive ripple effect eventually …
Agreed Karina. I’m in a context right now where I’m viewed as the odd one, This comment was made within earshot ‘I’m done with skinny! I’m not sure if it was made with reference to me, but I happen to be small in size. Apart from children, I’m the only one drinking water and tea and declining alcohol. I’m having fun with it as my niece tempts me with dairy and sugary desserts, we joke about all the different ways she has of persuasion and I have of declining. I’m enjoying the playfulness. As I up my normal, I stay true to me and show another way.
Oliver so very true. What friends, including myself, once considered normal and therefore acceptable no longer fullfils. Existing with life long medical conditions only to manage them is normal for many people yet now more and more are looking to change that. The problem is where do you turn when the normal is so far from truth? With few options the disillusion sets in. As you say if we “up” the normal to and “awesome normal” then everyone wins. I certainly appreciate deeply what Serge Benhayon has presented as I now know I’ve allowed myself to be sold a very poor version of life – even though its normal. The more we live and express an “awesome normal” the more things will change.
I like that Oliver, “it is time to ‘up’ normal: everyone deserves an awesome normal.” Your expression is so fresh and full of the wisdom you choose to live from. A great example of a new normal, which is living and expressing from the wisdom that lives inside us.
Well Said Oliver and Suzanne,
Normal doesn’t mean it is ‘the way,’ it only indicates that a majority of people are doing it. Here the power of language is highlighted as, people structure whole lives around this word thinking it is the way to be – and yet, ‘normal’ can be a harming choice practiced by many people.
Perhaps instead of ‘normal’ we need to be using language like ‘a supportive way of being ‘a true way of living’ or ‘allowing me to live my potential.’
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”-
Yes, I definitely agree it’s time for a new normal.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”-
Yes, I definitely agree Suzanne- time to consider a new normal.
This whole idea of what is normal is so interesting. It is all wrapped up in what is considered “good” or “bad” or “right” and “wrong”. Yesterday I was having a conversation with some people and they were telling me about how difficult it was for them to give up some foods that were really affecting their body. They spoke about how it is “normal” to disregard their body so that they could feel a moment of pleasure in their mouth when they ate something that they know was going to affect them. They could all feel that being “normal” in this instance was total disregard and actually abusive towards themselves.
So true Elizabeth. It’s like we use the word ‘normal’ to let ourselves off the hook for knowingly making choices that hurt ourselves and others.
I agree Jinya, when we label something as being “normal” we can use it to be completely irresponsible. If something is “normal” then we don’t have to challenge it and we become very disempowered which of course feeds the irresponsibility. We can go around and around in circles for eons like this until someone speaks up and says “hang on, this is not normal”.
To the point Elizabeth, you had me smile with this comment ’We can go around and around in circles for eons like this until someone speaks up and says “hang on, this is not normal”.’ – that is exactly what we as a humanity have done – for eons! Serge Benhayon inspires us to look at our choices and the consequenses of them – it ALL comes down to choices. If we want the world to change it will only happen by change of choices – that makes everyone equally responsible.
Yes very true Elizabeth; being disregarding to our bodies has unfortunately become a normal. I can relate to what you shared – I still eat some foods that I know are disregarding to my body, but when I don’t eat them I feel slightly abnormal, and sometimes crave them and reintroduce them back into my diet. Not eating them though, from experience, makes me feel very light and pretty cool actually!
This is true Elizabeth, being ‘normal’ is wrapped up with being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ or ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, but what is the meaning behind these words? people are constantly telling my young son to ‘be good’, this always feels odd to both of us as he is just being himself, so for someone to say ‘be good’ doesn’t really make sense, it’s like they are saying, don’t be yourself, be polite and nice instead, it feels like we want children to ‘be normal’ as well and this must be confusing, it seems that we are saying, be the same as everyone else, not different, do not stand out.
I agree Rebecca, if we were all asked to be more responsible for what we put out there and to consider the purpose & truth of what we say – then expressions such as “be good” would have no place in our communication.
Great point Elizabeth in that what has been accepted as ‘normal’ in most cases is actually quite harmful, especially when it comes to our bodies.
Hello Vicky Cooke and I agree. It is also interesting how ‘we’ all just accept ‘normal’ as well. Like if somebody somewhere considers something as normal to the mainstream of society then it must be ok. We give own our feelings and decision making over to something else. It is kind of strange when you look at it differently, who decides the normal and what is the quality of that decision? You can only do what you feel to be true for you and the way things are anything ‘normal’ should be considered deeply before just going along with it.
I know these arguments, Elizabeth. I have the feeling the so called normal is used to protect them not having to see what is truly going on and how harmful their own and other behaviors and choices are.
In time there will be a new normal.
Absoutely Nicholas Bason – in time there will be a new normal and that normal will be founded in love and honouring the essence of who we are.
I found my body greeting your comment with a super gentle out breath, and brief closing of my eyes. My body said, ‘ oh yes’. And, the that new normal you speak of, it will also be a very old, very familiar normal.
I feel that in time there will be a true normal, because the normal that we are all going back to is the truth we all strayed from. It is the normal according to the harmony and homeostasis that our bodies are designed to be in. In the years to come, normal will be synonymous with natural.
Well said Jinya and I completely agree. The normal we refer to now is a reinterpretation of the truth- it is normal, more as a what is common practice. Normal in truth for me is what is natural, supportive and harmonious to our bodies and the whole of society as one.
Agree Jinya, and ‘normal’ will also be synonymous with Truth. . .
An ever evolving new normal.
An interesting article Suzanne. First thing I did was look up normal in the dictionary. A right angle or a square. Back in the sixties we called anyone who didn’t like the new popular music a square, like old fashioned, in a sort of derogatory way.
In Australia back in the day when I had a TV there was a character called nearly normal Norm who sat in a reclining chair in front of the TV watching sport, do you remember him.
I would prefer to be associated with new, fresh, unusual, innovatory , unconventional…..I didn’t come to Universal Medicine because I wanted to be normal.
Ha, reading your comment Nicholas Bason has made me laugh, particularly at the memory of Norm, yes I remember him from the 80’s. What Universal Medicine presents may not seem normal to many people but that is because humanity is so so lost. Going to bed early and getting a good nights sleep, eating gluten and dairy free, self-care, self-love, loving relationships, this is my normal. This is the way of the future because what is considered normal today certainly isn’t working.
This is the whole key here Donna, and that it seems we as a humanity are not yet being really honest about, and that is the fact that ‘if’ we are stating and defending our behaviours as ‘normal’ (i.e. acceptable), then why do we have an increase in illness, disease and a decline in general health and well-being… which points to the fact that we certainly can’t claim that what most of what is considered ‘normal’ is currently working!
Normal is going with or accepting what’s offered rather than staying true to yourself. Someone I met recently shared an interesting example of this. What is normal for her is to not take sugar or gluten or coffee. Visiting a 90 year old relative she was faced with a choice: Accept offers of home made cake and coffee or decline them. She accepted both because she felt it would be impolite to refuse as her aunt had taken so much trouble to make them. Driving home she felt drowsy (effects of sugar and gluten) was forced to stop the car to prevent herself from falling asleep at the wheel. She put herself at risk rather than risk offending another. Pressure to conform is often ones we place on ourselves.
When we conform and accept things which are ‘normal’ for another, though we may feel the opposite of that, this cannot be of any good. Mostly we want to avoid a reaction or discussion. But at the end we have to deal with what we did not want from the very begining. This makes no sense.
Yes so true Sonja, there is no escaping it. Just because something is normal does not make it right, just common. The more we learn to uphold what feels true for us, the more we challenge the concepts of ‘normal’ and it does mean unsettling people and questioning accepted behaviours but it is what we need to do, otherwise it turns into a problem that just festers and grows and is much worse to deal with in the long run.
Absolutely Sonja, and very often the want to avoid something is that we even pretend we do not realize that we are circling around a potential confrontation. Saving our own skin and accepting lies and irresponsibility for this without hesitating a moment. Can that be normal?
Sonja I agree – it makes no sense. But at the end of the day we all need to ask ourselves to what extent we are all playing this game.
A great point Kehinde and this is really important to explore as we can accept this to such a point that they have become our ‘norm’, which is highlighted in your example. We really have much work to do in this world to fully claim ourselves back again in all situations.
Hi Kehinde2012 – I feel your words so apt “Normal is going with or accepting what’s offered rather than staying true to yourself.” wow! This I feel is quite a strong statement, however, it seems to hold a lot of weight when struggling with ‘offending’ or ‘hurting a close friends’/relatives’ feelings. What an absolute curse to have the belief that we are not worthy enough to actually say something to the effect “mother dear, suzy dear friend, john or william – look I have found that by eating that or drinking that I have found I feel …..this way or that and I have chosen not to drink that/eat that any more – my body just can’t take it any longer like it/I used to in the past”. I know from my own experience that while travelling, e.g. ship cruising, out with family or whatever, I have been on the receiving end of comments about the head chef just jumping off the end of the ship etc., These accusations of not ‘being normal’ now don’t affect me like they used to and I rarely find myself defending my choices or reacting, but just smiling and staying present in my joy of knowing I have listened to my body. That was not always the case when some I knew well upon hearing of the Esoteric Breast Massage went immediately into judgment, chose to not listen to their hearts, but to descend into a place of unjust accusations that one can only imagine – and at that time, a few years ago I was the one then who was offended, upset and in disbelief that people that knew me well could so easily express lies and innuendoes without any research or exploration as to what the E.B.M. actually afforded the caring women who chose that modality as a form of accessing the deep and loving attributes of this Esoteric Modality. So yes, it seems we have to ride freely on the top of this gargantuan wave called ‘normal’ according to the majority of the world, become one with the wave like a seagull having a rest in the ocean, not take a tumble but be true to ourselves until ‘true truth’ becomes the ‘normal’.
Roberta, I love how you have expessed this, especially your advice to handle constant accusations of not being normal by becoming “one with the wave like a seagull having a rest in the ocean, not take a tumble but be true to ourselves until ‘true truth’ becomes the ‘normal’. That makes absolute sense, there is no point in becoming defensive, it just adds to the argumentive energy.
It’s lovely to read the sentence you’ve picked out – feels very poignant. I am sometimes surprised how unhealthy “normal” actually is yet how much effort we can put into holding onto a way of living that has been “normal”. As soon as we choose a true and healthy way of living the accusations of not being normal come in. In simple terms we have normal all wrong and in the current way we live, it’s certainly not healthy to be “normal”. Time indeed for a new normal.
Hi Roberta, fear of offending those close to us is something I recognise too, learning to speak truthfully helps to keep things simple and we all evolve. Many years ago, I learned a lesson from a late friend of mine when she stopped smoking without telling me, only declining all offers of cigarettes, until I twigged. I was so inspired, within months I stopped smoking too. The lesson learned is not to say too much about the whys and wherefore of what I choose to eat or do. Just get on with it. Someone said to me yesterday as she prepared lunch for us both “you eat strange” I was able to say, “eating what makes me feel good is normal for me, there are just some foods I choose not to eat” and I explained again what these were. I am tested and tempted daily to eat foods that are not healthy or good for my body. I love what you say “become one with the wave like a seagull having a rest in the ocean, not take a tumble but be true to ourselves”. Food is also used to manipulate and control and when you stay true to yourself, people lose the hook they need to pander, soften, or get you on side.
What a great learning this person had, kehinde2012, it does not pay to make all our decisions with a view to not offending people. I find I am often queried by people as to why I can’t just eat something (that I do not eat at all now) just eat a little bit occasionally. I used to receive quite a deal of judgment in this respect. I just reply that I have experienced a long time back when I ate 1/3 of a small gluten free florentine biscuit, which I later discovered had condensed milk in it, and then was violently ill that night. It is hard for them to argue about this then. I know what I can and can’t eat. The body certainly tells me. It may not be ‘normal’ in their eyes, but it is honouring myself and my body.
By accepting the cake and not speaking truthfully to her aunt, she denied herself and her aunt the opportunity to evolve.
Can the question ‘What is normal?’ ever be answered? The debate would have to start with: to what degree of the population do we need to include when deciding if something is the norm. I don’t believe we could ever come up with a definition of ‘normal’ that would be water-tight. Does running with the masses make something normal or is it what one does individually every day that makes it be their normal? I agree, Suzanne, your blog has so much wisdom in it when you say. “Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal? What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?’ I know I have developed a new normal for me, in many aspects of the way I live, but it certainly isn’t normal for my next door neighbour to live in the same way…..What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.
Good point ruthanderssen007 .. contemplating further what normal really is. It could be normal for someone to eat gluten, dairy and wheat free while for another it could be normal to smoke. I think you are right we tend to define ‘normal’ by the masses .. how many people do it. What if we change the word normal to accept, it could be normal for a person to beat their partner but should it be accepted? The more people speak up about something the bigger action it can have. So with the Esoteric Breast Massage modality maybe it is nothing to do with normal but more about women accepting there is a deeper level of self-love, healing and nurturing we can go to.
Well said Vicky and Ruth. Accepting that people choose ways of being and living that support themselves, or not as the case may be, as being a very normal way, paves the way for things like the Esoteric Breast Massage modality – and many other complementary medicine treatments – to become normal and accepted. As this happens, more people have access to those treatments as they become mainstream, not because they are normalised.
Vicky I love what you have presented here, when you look at the word normal it is so loosely defined by what equates what ever it is that is considered normal. You are absolutely right in saying that we accept what ever it is as being ok, even when it is not because the masses have not questioned it as it not being acceptable. The EBM offers us Women an opportunity to accept and embrace that yes there is a much deeper level of self-love and self-nurturing that we can embrace. That we are actually worth taking the time to do this and connect to this level of intimacy with ourselves. For me the EBM is so normal that I now have adopted it has my daily practice with myself and am in training to be a practitioner in this exquisite modality.
It is a great point Ruth and Vicky I like the way you have expanded this, as it is a very important part of what is taking place in this world. To just be ourselves and accept ourselves as women is enormous and the Esoteric Breast Massage has been the modality that has had the biggest effect on my relationship with myself. It is without question an amazing way to really connect deeper with ourselves as women.
Our normal comes down to our own perception. If we are hanging out with a bunch of people who drink alcohol for fun, we think that this is normal. If we choose to hang out with people who self-care and look after themselves we think that this is normal until the world tries to tell us otherwise. Having done both, I know which is my preference and what is my normal. If others don’t see this as normal, well that is their issue. Perhaps one day they will.
Thanks Jane, you say it very clearly; that whatever the type of normal it is, there is still the matter of truth. That can’t be challenged, like it or not.
A great comment, ruthanderssen007, especially where you say “What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” To me that is the crux of what I now would regard as normal for me anyway. That may not be normal for many others, but it is what really relates to me. I agree with you that we cannot really come up with a definition of normal that would relate to everyone. We all seem to regard normal as something different to what others claim to be so.
We eventually need to get beyond the question of whether something is normal or not and consider it from a place of whether it is true or not. Cigarette smoking for example is normal for a lot of people yet the body of someone who smokes knows that it is not a true thing to do. Our body knows what is true and what is not, we just have to listen to it.
And another question is . . .
Are we using the word ‘normal’ correctly in this context? Normal seems to be used instead of ‘common’.
Absolutely agree, johanna08smith, I feel people are misusing the word ‘normal’ and really mean the word ‘common’. There is no way that I want to be the same as all those whose actions are ‘common’ to everyone. I have no wish to live the way that the majority of people in this world live. It is very clear that is not working.
I see things go on in time that become normal because that is what everyone is doing but they are not normal, in fact some things I see are far from normal. I do not want to ever forget that what I know to be true from within is normal for me and even this has a tendency to shift and change.
Every word a gem, ruthanderssen007,anything that feels right in my body has to be my ‘normal’ and that can change from day to day as I evolve and deepen my love. What was ‘normal’ last week, or even yesterday, may not be so today. I have found a great freedom in letting go of the need to tick boxes and act normally.
So have I, catherine, I too find that my so-called ‘normal’ changes over time as I change day to day as I myself evolve. I agree, there is much freedom in this, but also a deep responsibility is felt.
This is a great way to put it Jane. There is truth and there is not. It really is as simple as that.
Great to bring Truth into it Jane that starts to change everything and really expose the word ‘normal’ for what it is. I just read a story of a young woman who would get drunk and sleep with men, often in dangerous situations because it was seen as ‘normal’ for her age to do that, and also so her friends felt ‘comfortable’ around her. That is not ‘normal’ but seriously unloving and disregarding. Truth needs to be brought in with no holding back to blast these absolutely crazy ideals and beliefs we have completely out of the water, and Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are just the people that have started to do that. Thank Goodness.
This is great Jane, I believe normal is different for other people as normal doesn’t relate to the way society behave but rather what is a natural way of living at that moment in time, however we often perceive normal to be the way that society behaves and therefore change away from our natural way of being. We often forget that the normal way of being for us is not a quality that is forever unchanged and what was normal a year ago may no longer be normal for us now
We rely on ‘normalcy’ to justify our actions when we are not connecting to the innateness we are, and therefore the gorgeous uniqueness that we bring. Once we see that we are all different in so many ways, for a very divine purpose then there can be no normal, as we do not need it.
Beautifully put Amelia, it is not about whether what we do is normal but rather what is our divine purpose. This is a much grander approach to life and so liberating!
Amelia this is a very profound truth. One I can feel brings me to understand people more when they are uncomfortable with something different and new to them. It feels like they are defending their perspective on life when the ‘that’s not normal’ phrase is evoked. The next time I hear this phrase used I’ll be able to feel more of what is going on for them and they are really saying “please don’t challenge my safe environment”. I’ll also recognize that I don’t need to justify what is normal for me.
Normal’ becomes the scapegoat or the flock of sheep to hide within. If we are to connect deeply to ourselves and live the innate wisdom that we naturally are there will be no need remaining to look outside of ourselves or to remain in the paddock of our choosing.
I like your last line particularly. I am starting to really come to terms with that and have set about creating a ‘new normal’ that is for me and I am lessening the need to justify it to others when it is quite different to theirs. It takes courage to ‘go against the norm’ but I am choosing to do that – to go to bed when I am tired and at a regular (early) time, to choose to eat foods and drink liquids that are supportive (and not in perfection as I often slip on that one) and to choose self-love and self-responsibility over my heads wants and needs.
So beautifully said, Amelia. Normalcy is something that we need from others to confirm that we are ok in the world. If we are connected to ourself, we have no need for that confirmation from anyone other than ourselves.
Absolutely Amelia that is an awesome observation that brings a great awareness about why we even need the term “normal” .
Absolutely agree with you Doug, and Amelia of course. So-called normal is different for everyone and as you say “if we were all being our true selves, normalcy would be completely and totally redundant”.
Absolutely Doug & Amelia, Normal, is loaded with expectations which are designed to keep you away from being present with yourself.
How wonderful Doug, to feel that we can choose not to be ‘normal’ or as normal appears to be at present – and as you say “normalcy would be completey and totally redundant.” – now I feel that would truly be a cause for celebration. How amazing the feeing would be if the common denominator was ‘Love’ and we walked, lived and breathed this awareness, knowing that we were alive and living in a field of oneness within the energy of God and the universe.
Yes Amelia, there can be no measuring normal when there is in its place equalness felt and lived to know the divineness, oneness and purpose you speak of.
What a great observation Suzanne giving much to consider. How easy it is to follow the accepted normal when really the true normal is known from our own inner knowing. My experience of normal has changed a lot from listening to how I feel.
This is such a revolutionary blog Suzanne thank you It is definitely time to develop a new true definition of what is normal.The excepted normal is becoming more and more abnormal to who we really are and in truth we all know this but are settling for less and less of ourselves and life and comfortable ways we are adopting. Illness and disease as normal is just one example of this as is cyber bullying and the abuse of others both in school and everywhere. This is definitely not normal or acceptable and bringing true honouring of ourselves and others needs to be brought back as the true normal for us all with a deep love and respect as a caring way of living.
Great point tricianicholson. Why is it we do not challenge what is considered normal especially when those things are harming us all on every level?
I love this Suzanne. ‘ What Is Normal For Us’ is how normal should be defined. I know very well what is normal for me and my family and how that normal supports us to deepen who we are and our relationships with each other in a way our old version of normal could not.
Very well put Penny. ‘What Is Normal For Us’ is to follow our inner hearts, and not what society dictates and innately we know this to be the truth.
What is “normal” is directly linked to and dependent on the ideals and beliefs of our cultures and religions. Nothing more, nothing less. And this “normal” is an imposition on our bodies and it can be toxic and it can hurt us. What if “normal” is actually what we deeply feel as true for us with great respect and love for others. Then “normal” becomes an inspiration for Humanity. Beautiful blog Suzanne, thank you.
Our ‘normal’ has become a little ‘screwed up’ – the next time you’re in a cafe observe how many people are communicating with their phone rather than the person they are with! Does this behaviour “conform to a standard and is it usual, typical, expected” – yes it seems so. Time for change.
We have made so many things normal that we would be shocked if we saw it 25 years ago. I notice that if I don’t speak up to what is going on in the world, it becomes the new normal. For instance it has become our new normal to see young kids taking and selling drugs at school and for people to have multiple body tattoos and large ear piercings but it is anything far from it. Everyone has a choice but if I don’t express what feels true, it feels that I am accepting something much lesser than who we are.
Wow Suzanne thank you so much for your amazing blog. There was a time in my life where I hate normal “things” because this was for me like living in a prison and so I did everything what was not normal until I found out that this became also a normal way to be! That was a funny insight and since that time I don’t care about the word “normal” anymore – I just allow myself to feel what is true or loving and definitely not harming for me in every moment of my life and that is how I live today and if this is normal – perfect.
Great sharing, esteraltmiks, of how we eventually find a way of being that feels true to ourselves, and then this is all that matters.
Hear, hear Suzanne! We each have our own normal based on what feels right and true within each of us, not how many people are enacting the same behaviour.
What is normal that’s a good question? Before universal medicine I never felt normal and wasn’t sure what that was or what is would feel like. I guess I’ve always had a bit of a rebellious streak but have usually flown under the radar in doing whatever I want when it comes to society’s acceptable and unacceptable norms. It is time to fully claim myself every minute of every day that is the only way to make truth normal. The new normal is the absolute truth of Universal Medicine.
This is a really good question ‘How does something become normal in society?’ As you have said ‘New behaviours are performed by a group of people and when enough people are exhibiting that behaviour, it can then be accepted.’ Many things that are now acceptable in society are shocking; either that or they are just ignored; so the behaviours or patterns never change, but get worse. What we need to do is raise the bar on normal .. this is something that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine are committed in doing, making self-loving and taking responsibility for our choices and actions normal (amongst many other awesome things).
Thanks Suzanne for your fab blog…you’ve lifted the lid on a topic that will create a lot of discussion…much needed discussion to question what is normal and what most definitely isn’t.
Smoking was considered normal. Its normal that we over eat till we are bloated and sluggish. Fighting with our partners, yelling at each other. Sitting around and watching a large square screen that has the mindless meanderings of reality TV is considered normal. For the vast majority of people in the modern western world every social interaction involves a poison that alters our state of being? And yet connecting deeply to who we really are and nurturing and caring for ourselves – strange. That is weird. I think you’re right. We do have it wrong.
Maybe, we have to stop looking on the outside for what is normal and instead only connect inside and each know that that is the only normal for us.
simplesimon888 I’m with you on this one – society as a whole does have it wrong. I recall a few years ago the fact that among my group of friends we would all think the other was not being “normal” or was a bore if they didn’t; stay out all night, get super drunk so they could not do anything properly and then feel shocking the next day. That was my version of normal back then – something that everyone accepted. So when, as you say, we set a level of normal as connecting, honouring, nurturing ourselves and it’s considered strange – there is certainly something wrong.
The more I consider what is deemed normal in today’s world, the crazier it seems to me. Poisons to the body and behaviours are used all day every day at work, home and everywhere so as to not feel the tension of living such a long way from our divine essence.
Normal should be waking up and feeling alive and vital.
Speaking openly and honestly with everyone we know and meet
Truly caring for our bodies and honouring our relationship with them.
Truly expressing ourselves with love in all that we do.
Well we have begun. And one day all this will be normal.
You say….
‘What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?’ Spot on Suzanne. Normal is to Evolve. 🙂 🙂
Suzanne, I could not agree more that it is time for a new normal. How many times do we hear that it is normal for teenagers to be withdrawn, grumpy or moody and go out partying and drinking? Is it normal, or is it just that so many of them are struggling that they all follow suit in behaviour. Something done by many does not make it normal, it makes it a concerning trend that needs addressing and the question asked ‘Why are so many behaving in a way that is not loving or supportive in any way’.
This is a great question Sandra, ‘How many times do we hear that it is normal for teenagers to be withdrawn, grumpy or moody and go out partying and drinking? Is it normal’, I agree this needs addressing, how can this behaviour be ‘normal’, it is self-destructive and clearly something is wrong if young men and women are abusing themselves and acting in this way.
And it doesn’t stop with teenagers. I saw a report recently stating that there is a high incidence of people over 50 who are drinking way more alcohol than the recommended daily amount (which in truth is zero, but by ‘normal’ standards is something like 2 drinks a day). So drinking heavily in your later years is also considered normal when we absolutely know it is not.
“But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?” Great question. I think this question gets talked about on a certain level but more of waffling kinda talk, not a real let’s get serious about what is normal and why are we following the ‘norm’. It took me lot of courage and commitment to go against the norm and choose for myself what my normal is and is it serving me and people around me but gosh I am glad I have.
Suzanne, three days ago I had my first Esoteric Breast massage for several years and not only did the experience feel very ‘normal’ but I was reminded that it is one of the most nurturing of modalities. Although, I had missed them for some time, like you I can attest that “the outcome of every single Esoteric Breast Massage . . . has always been exquisitely supportive and has felt like I was giving myself the gift of clarity and wisdom, a truly self-loving experience in many ways” and one which every woman would benefit from.
I’ve recently been doing a week’s work experience in a hospital, and something I find fascinating is how common and ‘normal’ things like heart attacks, tumours, cysts, dementia, diabetes etc. are becoming. Dying naturally from old age isn’t considered a totally usual death anymore.. What was once very unusual – diseases, major injuries etc. – has taken its place. This is just another example of how the word ‘normal’ has been used in a way it was never meant to. Disease and ill health should never be dismissed and go unquestioned.
We have all got caught up in our lives by copying and following others and because there are more people doing the same, it becomes normal. We have failed to connect and feel the truth and know that there is no such thing as normal. Normal is constantly evolving, what is normal today will be different tomorrow.
Normal is also applied to the majority of the population – medical tests may be inside or outside the ‘normal’ range so if you are outside you are considered not well, but the ‘normal’ is based on averages. Mostly a useful guideline, but it could well be ‘normal’ for someone to be outside the range because that’s simply the way their body works. I agree with the comments about alcohol consumption, or consumption of any drinks other than water – water is what our bodies need – that is normal, but our taste buds have dictated that additives make the water easier to drink. Granted in days of old, it was probably healthier to drink a brew than the available water because of pollution, but these days there is no need – I find it extraordinary that now mineral water is being flavoured with sugary fruit, as is much of our food being flavoured with added sugar – sugar is becoming ‘normal’ and yet it’s making us ill. It doesn’t make sense.
I hear this bandied around in my workplace, in the public and in our media, that word “normal”.. It is almost always attached to something that is actually abusive to our bodies and society as a whole but nonetheless, Suzanne as you say, championed. The scariest part of this is there is absolutely no reasoning on some such topics, people are attached to their so-called “normal” activities albeit they are harmful and of no real benefit to their health and wellbeing.
‘Normal’ I have come to understand is one of the most misconstrued words there is. We accept as normal that which the masses are doing and as you and others say – it is mostly ill behaviours. So normal – means ‘that which is the norm for most’ … which then leads us to see and understand that humanity at large is in fact very ill given all the widespread ill-behaviours.
What I have done since I started studying with Universal Medicine, is looking at what is natural to me. So now for me normal is what is natural to my body and being … a re-connecting and a discovery, an unfolding and peeling away of that which is not natural, something I have adopted often without first checking if this is actually true for me. And most interestingly it seems what I have re-connected to is also normal and natural for many others… a way of living that nurtures our being as opposed to bringing deep ill-health and destruction.
My feeling is the people that are choosing more responsibility, more love/ self care, a deeper level of commitment to themselves and others are simply going to have to be out in front for a while before everybody else catches up. World wide people are suffering from illness, disease, struggling with depression, anxiety and much much more. All of this is normal though… Its only a matter of time before people start noticing that within this community there is many golden tips to unlocking a huge part of this puzzle.
The way we chose to live and be with ourselves or not in each moment dictates what happens next. The true medicine that everyone is searching for is universal and that medicine is our choices, each and everyone one of us has the ability to bring self healing.
I am pro-main stream medicine and I am not a flighty or airy fairy person but what society will one day come to see is the EBM and other modalities founded by Serge Benhayon will not only save the health care system huge amounts of money but will support world wide to prevent illness and disease before it has a chance to occurs. I am happy for people to think I am strange or ‘not normal’, in fact it is a compliment, normal doesn’t work, lets face it, if it did then the world would work. So I say if its ‘normal’ then we need to question it…..as the world as it is today needs some serious changes in order to continue to function…
let alone evolve and thrive.
‘Normal’ to me is synonymous with ‘Comfortable’.
It would seem comfortable to run with the crowd, be a sheep and majority rules (though in my experience this causes much discomfort if we were to be very honest). ‘Normal’ is often used to bully our way, influence another, rule over, undermine, dominate, calculate and deceive.
Being ‘normal’ asks nothing of us – we may hide, cower and vanish, be dull or mute or not even ourselves…yet it robs us of everything Grand and True.
‘And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are’. Absolutely agree Suzanne, that it is time for a new normal here! I find when I express this, how amazing I am, people are shocked, and some don’t like it at all. However, I am starting to learn to not worry about the response, but just claim it anyway. Great blog.
The way we use the word ‘normal’ is actually a cause of illness. It’s like a virus, because when one person does something and another observes them doing it, then joins in, then another joins – soon you have mass population calling something normal. So what is the only thing that’s going to kill this virus that has so many of us slave to its justification – “It’s normal!” There is no magic pill. The consumption of alcohol is considered normal because the majority of people require it to get through the day or wind down at night. It will be a slow turning of the tide as more and more us stop being complicit to the spreading of the virus.
With the incidents of breast cancer, women’s gynecological issues, painful periods etc on the increase does it not make sense to listen to women all over the world who can attest to the benefits of the Esoteric Breast Massage and bring about a “new norm”, one where women’s experiences are listened to.
Succinctly put Elizabeth. It pays absolutely no one IN TRUTH to go on as we have been doing. To listen to what is truly going on has to be a great and very honest platform to start from.
I had a conversation just last week with a good friend who has 3 daughters. I was telling him about the Women in Livingness event coming up for him to share with his daughters, and just mentioned that period problems alone are not normal and the event is a huge support for all women. He looked at me stunned and said ‘but don’t all women get period pain, isn’t it just normal?’. This is the degree of what’s considered normal now…so many women experiencing symptoms around their periods that it is seen as normal when it is most definitely not normal…it is our body’s way of letting us know that we are not living in line with our essence as a woman.
I have gone through the same thought process and came up with the following: that there is a difference between the word ‘normal’ as in what the current norm is within a group or society and ‘natural’ as in what my body expresses as supportive. It helps me in my expression when speaking about things you address in your blog. And interesting conversations come up with others…… ‘It can be considered normal, but hey is it natural…?’
This is such a great blog and made me consider how I have held back at times for fear of not being normal ie conforming to what the world thinks normal should be. How freeing and so much more fun it is when we drop other’s ideal of normal and own and express from our own inner normal. Brilliant!
This is all so true Suzanne what a great offering on honouring ourselves and all we feel instead of doubting ourselves and following what is so called normal.The new normal of what we know to be true and feel brings such a joy and expansiveness and allows us to simply be who we truly are. I love the new normal from our knowing, bring it on and it will be the new way forward in life. Thank you for this beautiful sharing.
This is such a great article Suzanne and really makes me ponder on what is considered ‘normal’, there are so many things in society that are accepted as ‘normal’ that really do not feel right, such as alcohol, smoking, drinking coffee, recreational drugs, fizzy drinks full of sugar, sweets, the list goes on and is more common and ‘normal’ for people to have these things than to not have them, people are often surprised when I say I don’t drink alcohol and that I don’t eat sugar.
That’s because we, who did experience this healing technique have to talk about Esoteric Breast Massage and our benefit of it all over. We have the responsibility to make it to ‘a normal’, so every women gets this amazing opportunity to heal and develop from here.
Exactly Sandra, when the naturally normal is pointed out enough times it will become normal and natural for more and more of us.
Yes rosannabianchini – let the ‘natural normal’ become the ‘temporal normal’.
Our version of normal has changed hugely from 50 years ago and so our ‘normal’ has become a constantly changing accepted reality but it is no where near our Truth.
Yes, what we call normal changes through the eras, fashions and trends but has so far missed the mark when it comes to being about living our truth.
Great blog Suzanne! It seems to me that the word ‘normal’ is used to justify so much ‘abnormal’ behaviour that, rather like the people that hide behind it, it has lost its way. People seem to need some sort of yardstick to indicate to them the boundaries of behaviour that they must not overstep, upon pain of being shunned by others. It seems to be one of those words like ‘average’ , which we all know to be virtually meaningless in its application but which people seem to rely upon to keep them on track and heading in vaguely the right direction. I can’t imagine people ‘aspiring’ to normality, it’s just a sort of ‘default position’ that says ‘here you are safe and can’t be challenged’. Because it is driven by numbers, rather like ‘average’ it has developed a bogus significance and is little more than ‘common practice’, or what the majority does. Evolution is slow and painful, but I am heartened by a simple example. Not very many years ago, It was considered absolutely normal to smoke. In fact, in a well known wartime newsreel scene, a wounded soldier on a stretcher has a cigarette shoved into his mouth as ‘first aid’. Nowadays, the few smokers that still hang on to their habit, can be seen gathered in small groups on the pavement, like some social outcasts who are banished and out of favour; their idea of normality having long passed into history as wisdom and common sense have dictated the ‘new normal’.
Great point Jonathan, doctors use to actually smoke whilst treating their patients and that was normal. With the strict smoking laws these days and as you pointed out smokers have become outcasts gathering on corners of the street, it strange to think how recently we accepted it to be everywhere as a society.
Excellent and very true blog Suzanne, ‘what is normal for us, needs to become the new normal’, this feels amazing. As I connect more deeply to my body and feel the truth it delivers as to where I’m at, I know this to be true and that becomes my new normal, this is much more real and true than an external source of a perceived normal.
Such a great blog. What you say here is very true to me: “Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” I sometimes did things that if I am honest did not feel right to do, but under the guise of ‘it’s normal’ I did it anyway. Like trying to smoke a cigarette when I was in my teenage years, not something I would ever want to do but because it is deemed ‘normal’ for teenagers to explore I tried it. (No recommendation, could not stop coughing!) I love the new normal: feeling what is true from your body and that what I feel is normal. Thank you Suzanne.
We all know the normal meaning of the word technology today. It is the mountain of electronic wizardry that seems we can’t live without. The word is Greek in origin and first used 400 years ago; it was the branch of knowledge that dealt with the creation and use of technical means and their interrelation with life, society, and the environment, drawing upon such subjects as industrial arts, engineering, applied science, and pure science. What was the word for this definition when they built the pyramids? It is interesting that the meaning of words changes vastly, but the essence of who and what we are inside has never changed, have we just forgotten that essence, have we replaced it by the new technology…. has this become the new normal?
Normal is the repetition of things no matter if these behaviors are supportive or harming. These is a great article Suzanne, to expose the senselessness of the word normal when in truth normal should be what feels true and loving in our bodies.
At times people around me have questioned the ‘normality’ of something I choose to either partake in or express, and my answer has often been ‘it may not be normal, but it is natural’ and I usually follow that with some of the countless examples, as you have included above, of behaviours that are normal yet obviously harming.
Now I have a new answer ‘I am co-creating a new normal’ 😜
I find it really profound that truth is normal and you can see what is not normal, but the people who “think” their normal cannot see truth so easily.
Really thought-provoking, Suzanne. It got me thinking about coffee. How its very presence in our lives has proliferated like a virulent disease across our towns, street corners, bookshops and libraries. An intravenal pit-stop equivalent in workplaces, colleges, airports, stations, cinemas and theatres. In fact, it’s absolutely everywhere – apart from public conveniences, but that’s just a matter of time. Seems coffee is the new water. We just can’t live without it, when in truth our bodies have to put up with it, process it, crave it, withdraw from it and recover from it. That to me, is anything but normal.
Great point, Cathy. We have to ask ourselves how consuming toxic substances has become acceptable in society never mind being the norm.
It is incredible isn’t it Cathy, how coffee consumption has gone through the roof…and you can buy a coffee just about anywhere now. The question I ask is ‘why?’. Why has coffee consumption gone up? Why is it that just about everyone is holding a takeaway cup as they walk into work, or it’s the first thing they do when they get there? If everyone was shooting heroine or sniffing cocaine (or whatever they do with it!) – would we just roll over and accept that as the new normal?
Great point about coffee Cathy. Most of my life through the 80’s and early 90’s before the coffee boom took over was going to the pub, it was the place you went to meet friends, lunch times evenings after work….that was normal and no one really questioned it. As the coffee houses started to emerge this became the new norm….coffee was better than alcohol and I know from my point of view and many of my friends it satisfied my sugar craving and taste buds more than alcohol and was not a driving hazard. Coffee has taken over from alcohol as the mid day and now anytime drink. I work in a supermarket where they give away free coffee with a loyalty card and you can see people waiting in the queue getting agitated because they are wanting their fix no different to alcohol drugs or cigarettes.
I’ve just flown eight hours across the Atlantic, inflight hot drinks were offered but only in ready prepared flasks of tea and coffee, no third option given, a norm I believe. I had planned ahead, took herbal teas bags with me and asked for plain hot water which was brought by cabin crew who had to make a special journey down the aisle to collect. I also took my own food. This assured my body was supported throughout the journey and did not feel drained when I landed.
The point about coffee is so true Cathy, and from this stems our exhaustion, which for many of us we accept as normal, I know I used to. The thing with coffee like any harming substance is that we often feel even worse when we stop which makes it that much harder to make the leap to do so. Yet the awareness should be there for all of us, that being exhausted is not a normal state and no-one should just willingly accept this.
To add to that Cathy I find it so interesting that when you ask why do they drink coffee they say “I love the taste”. The new normal has not much honesty or truth.
At work these days, I am the ‘not normal one’ when it comes to coffee…just about everyone drinks it. But what strikes me is that I see people who exercise a lot and consider themselves fit and healthy, but they consume coffee, coke, chips, sweets, etc and justify it to themselves because of how much they exercise. So it is based purely on what they look like – they’re not overweight, sometimes muscular and are ‘fit’ but they often have injuries, don’t sleep well, get sick frequently, etc. This is all considered normal by them and those around them.
Suzanne you raise an interesting line of enquiry about what we describe as normal. How quickly that changes – the society of my childhood to now are worlds apart, and I have witnessed how the needs of business have shaped our perception of normal also with aggressive marketing and selective provision of goods. Government policy, immigration etc all play their role. However there is I believe truth that can be felt by all, and I feel that esoteric modalities offer us an opportunity to connect to what feels true from deep within us. EBM is an amazing modality which has assisted me to connect more deeply with myself as a woman and change my own perception of normal. When I read the blogs like these it becomes very clear that there is a common thread that shows a new normal is emerging, one that results from a life lived in connection to the innerheart.
Time to hit the ‘reset’ button on normal – Thanks Suzanne great blog, the responsibility in holding a new normal can be heaps of fun – the greatest campaign on earth – as simple as living it. Sharing the livingness of being who we are – Nurturing, loving, joyful – yum!
Ok, normal can only be one thing and that is living as a man or a woman and living in connection and expression of the soul, anything less is abnormal. How this looks for each person may be different. We have gradually accepted so much less than this that the bar has constantly shifted downwards. It is up to me (and us as a collective group of people) to bring normal back, and express this as a truth.
I love this Matthew. I often hear my children saying to me ‘Mum, thats not normal’, an example of this might be if I am singing joyfully in the car aloud and people can see me and they are embarrassed, or if their school lunch box is filled with healthy supportive foods rather then processed packets. I say back to them, ‘what if this is normal and everybody else has got it wrong!’.
This is a conversation I have had with my daughter too Anna. Her lunchbox is a great example of this also. While my daughters may not be normal in the sense of what everyone else is eating, all her friends want what she has & I am often asked to make more or pack more for them! It seems that while she feels it is not ‘normal’ they think it is all great. Guess they like our normal!
Well said Matthew, living in connection and expression with the soul is such a normal way to be. Our true way that feels so ‘normal’.
Absolutely Elizabeth and Matthew, normal is living here on earth in connection and expression of our soul, anything less than that is abnormal.
It’s a great point that you’ve made Suzanne and Liane about how we can use calling something ‘normal’ as an excuse to not really look at what we are doing and its actual consequences.
Well said Doug, “…what we call normal has no roots or stability but is more akin to which way the wind blows. It has no truth in it. …”
Normal has no truth in it, and yet we get away with so much by something being ‘normal’. It’s almost like it is a legal term.
This is just so awesome, I can not help but giggle along the way. I felt everything you say, and I can just feel how I have been holding it back, and now when you express it , it comes out. Something what I have been feeling all along.. I love to actually not fit in , and actually be everything what is seemingly normal (expected) etc. This article makes something free within me, I no longer need to be normal, but actually be all of me – which is normal:) (just maybe a different version of the current ‘normal’). I agree Time For a New Normal.
“the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody”. I agree totally here, Suzanne. The normal of each society in the world will be different, depending on the ideals and beliefs held within that society. And similarly with each subgroup of our own society. e.g. for teenagers, they may have what they regard as their normal. So it is ridiculous to label any particular behaviour as normal really, it is a moveable label. Yet, it is now used as a cop-out for people to excuse what is often inexcusable behaviour.
I would rather not use that term at all, to me the only real truth is what I feel from my own innermost. From there, I can access the only truth of how I am in any moment. When I live from that truth, I know I am going to be totally supportive of myself in all that I do and say, and also of all others I am in contact with.
It is really great to have ‘normal’ exposed for what it has been, an excuse to do anything, regardless of the consequences.
Suzanne your blog brings a great truth to light, I feel it definitely is a way that we sit in comfort and not listen to our own ‘normal which we all innately know.
Yes I have definitely thought this is all not what is considered normal as I am having an Esoteric Breast Massage. I’ve thought about what would people think and thought, yes but you know what, I’ve never had such profound clarity and connection with myself through other modalities in the same way so I’m going to make this a normal support I give myself. If i let other people’s judgements’ encroach on my choice to access something that is so supportive for me then I’ll never make being supportive of myself normal.
Karin, when I first started having Esoteric Breast Massages the effects were so profound that I told everyone that I was having these as I felt it was normal to share. I felt such deep benefit from receiving these massages that I wanted others to have the opportunity to experience the same. This was my normal and I didn’t care what others thought.
Good for you Donna and yes it is absolutely normal to treat yourself to an Esoteric Breast Massage – they are very healing and extremely supportive for ALL the women I have every met who have had one.
Donna your comment has highlighted to me how I often only share things with people of a personal nature when I think they won’t reject me – and not from actually they could really benefit from hearing this. I can see how self serving this is. I feel there is great scope to build my foundation with me so that I am not unduly wobbled by what other’s think when I do share as this is very restrictive and imprisoning. Thank you.
That’s so beautiful Donna, that you chose to share something that had been such a profound experience for you, irrespective of what others may think or how they may react. The love you have for others is so strong it outweighed any feelings to protect yourself from judgement.
This is an important point you make Karin and I just like Donna would tell others about Esoteric Breast Massages no matter how they responded as I too found them to be so profound. When I finally came across something that felt absolute it was hard to keep this to yourself and I naturally want to share this with the world.
Karin you mention that you have ‘never had such profound clarity and connection’ with yourself through other modalities. Well clearly there is something incredible about the Esoteric Breast massage that the whole world needs to know about. I know they have helped my wife immensely.
Its interesting that we tell our kids not to follow the crowd – if one person jumps off a cliff doesn’t mean you have to, and yet as we grow up we do just that – if 10 people have jumped off the cliff then it must be okay to do! Our definition of normal is simply the majority, but that doesn’t make it okay.
This shows just that to some point during our life we give away our responsibility to feel what is true and what is not. Adapting something as normal just because the majority does it – makes the world less truthful and harder to live in.
Perfectly put Sonja, it makes those who instinctively know what is truth very unsure of themselves, when that truth is not lived in the world.
I love your example with the cliff jumping – this is a very good example how crazy it is to make what the majority do as a definition of normal.
I agree – and it is such a sneaky way of separating people – what the majority are doing changes continuously and so therefor so does what is normal – everyone wants to fit the normal and so we are on a constant merry go round of being in on the normal.
This blog is brilliant, just brilliant. What I realised as I read it is that I have not been sufficiently willing to speak up for what is truly normal. I have held back, or apologised a bit when speaking about what I know to be true when I think that it might be considered a bit odd by others. This stops what is truly normal being accepted as normal and known as truth by others.
I agree with you Catherine, if we embrace how we live as our normal eventually it will become the norm for others also. Lets face it people have whole heartedly embraced drinking alcohol and look how normal that has become – maybe it is time to question more of these things we see as normal.
‘Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?’ This is a powerful question Suzanne and it let’s us off the hook of responsibility. We need look no further than to say – ‘everyone does it’, ‘it’s what we do’, ‘it’s alway been done this way’. We don’t stop and feel the truth of what is presented and claim responsibility for our choices. This relates to every aspect of life. Thank you for raising the question of ‘what is normal?
Ahhh normal. It is important in some contexts – like the ‘normal range’ for blood tests. But when we use it to judge or be hard on ourselves or others then really it serves no purpose. I have tried to be normal in many ways, and this just does not work for me. I know best how to live from my inner essence and that is just whatever it is, with no reference to another.
When people don’t want to know the truth or are challenged to look at their own lives, then they will do anything to make something normal abnormal and convince the majority that it’s wrong.
I am always slightly aghast as to what we as a society perceive as ‘normal’ and you have exposed it so well here Suzanne; we use ‘normal’ when really we mean ‘typical’ and we use ‘normal’ as an excuse to not take responsibility; ‘everyone else is doing it so why can’t I? It’s normal therefor don’t ask me to look beneath the surface’. By this decree it is therefor normal to be: exhausted, overworked, stressed, depressed, despondent, need alcohol to relax, need coffee to wake up, have fights with our partners, parents, friends, colleagues, live for the weekend because we have lost the joy in the every day, watch copious amounts of TV to numb and distract ourselves from how all this makes us feel, become addicted to sugar, porn, drama and on and on and on and all ‘ok’ and ‘perfectly fine’ because it’s ‘normal’ – when it is not.
True normal is simply love – to feel it and live it in such a way that we are able to feel free and not imprisoned in our bodies without want nor need for stimulants, distractions, uppers, downers, ‘you name it we have a pill/product for it’ various assorted other Band-Aids for the misery we feel when we are not being our normal selves – love.
Liane, it feels like you have captured the essence of a life lived as an existence waiting for the misery to end in the first part of this post. I could feel the drain and sickness in it. So true that love and it’s true expression is the antidote to the ‘sheep mentality’ leading down the path of darkness.
I love this, Liane. You have really called out the typical attitude of the majority which has created such loveless norms that we all accept – “everyone else is doing it so why can’t I?” How irresponsible can we be to allow this mindset to continue, and thank heavens for Universal Medicine and their relentless dedication to addressing the impending catastrophe of modern day life that we have created.
The list of ‘typical’ behaviour that so many are trapped in is certainly not the true normal which as you so rightly say is simply love Liane. They are simply coping mechanisms for the many lost souls who have sold out to an existence where they have lost their connection to their inner essence and thus what feels true to them and the courage to go against the ‘norm’ of society as it currently is.
I look forward to the day when not drinking alcohol is normal. To see how trapped humanity is by this socially acceptable normal is a huge travesty.
So true Simone. We are trapped as a society when we accept an ill condition or behaviour as being normal. We are in effect saying YES to having it and accepting it is a ‘normal’ part of our lives.
I will never forget how the media refused to correct its malicious and incorrect statement that Serge Benhayon trained his sons to do Esoteric Breast Massage. It was a deliberate ploy to sensationalise a massage technique that is in truth steeped in etiquette to ensure it is not bastardised in any way shape of form. This includes the fact that NO man can EVER become an Esoteric Breast practitioner. Like many therapies that by necessity come within close proximity of sensitive regions of the body, there are strict protocols to ensure that the client-practitioner relationship is maintained and not abused. Esoteric Breast Massage enables a woman to get in contact with her breasts in a very physical way that allows her to become intimately aware of even the smallest changes in this delicate area of the body. Given the prevalence of breast cancer and the importance of early detection, I find it hard to see why anyone would not see this as an extremely important service – provided it is done with impeccable integrity and concern for the client – which of course it is, as the testimonials of countless women attest to.
Great questions Suzanne. I recall when ‘road rage’ was presented on National television as a new horrifying act by thoughtless people and now ‘road rage’ is not mentioned as it has become accepted as something that happens that we have no control over and what was once abnormal has become normal.
The way we have used the word ‘normal’ is bad medicine! It has justified so much behaviour that is unloving and unkind. It’s normal for a Dad to hardly see his kids because he is off being the provider. It’s normal for women to feel uneasy when walking alone in public at night. We all know they shouldn’t be normal, but they are the norm. So what’s going to need to change? Perhaps what each one of us accepts and allows dictates what ‘normal’ normally defines.
I like the line ‘what is normal for us needs to become the new normal’ Suzanne. It’s so true, instead of being fed what is considered normal, how about we use our own barometer? What is commonly being considered ‘normal’ in today’s society is anything but, and if we continue to be complacent about it, ‘normal’ will degenerate further. I think normal needs new standards! Let’s raise the bar.
I am with you Jo. Time we reclaimed ‘normal’ before it degenerates further, ‘normal’ being that which is ‘natural’ to the body and what the body itself would chose could it talk! Yes. Lets raise the bar by developing a true connection with our body and then listening to what it has to say. . .
This is an important blog Suzanne. The pressure to conform to the ‘norm’ is dangerous in our society and it is vital that this is addressed. How many young people get into taking drugs because of this? Time for us to start listening to our bodies and find what is ‘natural’ within rather than what is perceived to be ‘normal’ without.
Awesome Ariana “we build a normal that is full of love,” Now that’s a normal that is truly supportive for all.
This is a brilliant question, “Who ever said normal was what actually serves us?”
Your examples of normal clearly do not serve us. This leaves much food for thought. And definitely a new definition of normal is needed.
Could it be- Normal is that which actually serves and supports every human being in their evolutionary steps moving forward.
‘Normal is that which actually serves and supports every human being in their evolutionary steps moving forward’ – A big YES to that Irena.. And the key bit being that it serves and supports EVERYONE.. Anything that does not do that should be questioned and altered.
Yes Irena Haze, agree with you fully on this. Let’s set our New Normal (NN) based on what truly serves and supports us !
Love what you have shared Ariana. I love the new normal and it is definitely built on honouring my own love, commitment and responsibility. That’s a pretty amazing normal for me.
What has become normal for me these days is way different to the way I was living 15 years ago. The increased respect I have for myself is a huge change as is the responsibility I take in all that I do. Also in the past I would have never spent money on anything that would have been considered self nurturing and now I do.
Normal is one of those terms that covers what most people do and doesn’t necessarily mean what is in everybody’s best interests. Normal for the individual is what they are used to, not necessarily a good thing. Each of us needs to look at the things we have accepted in our lives and consider whether it serves us or whether we perhaps need a new normal.
I certainly agree, Amanda, my so-called normal has changed enormously in the past 9 years since I met Serge Benhayon and attended Universal Medicine presentations. I never used moisturizers, particularly not on the whole of my body, but now I just love doing that every morning after my shower. And I was so proud of not wasting my money on make up (other than a little lippy) and all those other things that other women spent on. As far as having a manicure occasionally, nothing was further from my mind. My level of self-care has changed dramatically as my level of self-love has grown.
As you say, Amanda, normal is what we are used to, and for me, I definitely have a new normal now, and I am sure it will change evermore.
‘Normal’ can be tied up with so much expectation, right/wrong, good/bad, acceptance/nonacceptance of self and others, rules and regulation it becomes confusing to what it actually is or means other than a word with the capacity to discriminate. I think I’ll remove it from my value system.
I agree Lizkhalu, I have found that ‘normal’ comes with so many ideals and beliefs it is why one normal can be so different to another’s.
What a brilliant piece Suzanne that exposes the way we use extremes to justify the less extreme and what is so called ‘normal’ but actually only COMMON actually shifts incrementally and sometimes exponentially ever downward into behaviours that are less and less loving or decent. Point in case being the ‘normalisation’ (in truth ‘commonisation’) of porn into our everyday lives and family homes – children’s music videos, films and billions of google searches every day – and the extremes of porn sinking to new levels of depravity.
When we see how the mechanism works there becomes a huge and clear need and burning purpose for a new normal – and the scope for that also to shift ever unfolding, but into more and more loving ways to be with ourselves in life. Sure it will stand out – but only as to a beacon in the dark exposing the abnormality of the commonly put up with loveless lives we have got used to through rarely if ever seeing another lived way. Time to turn the tide and offer a choice to not give up and go along with what feels so far from okay, and from ‘normal’.
It’s amazing where we get to when we begin to question the meaning of words we use ever so flippantly. Absolutely, everybody’s normal is different…although I suspect that if we were all a little more in tune with our bodies and our feelings, we might find that a lot of people would be experiencing the same kind of a normal, as in a natural way of being kind of normal.
What’s considered these days as ‘normal’ is actually ‘abnormal’. What is truly normal is our extra-ordinariness, our connection to ourselves and the way in which we express and conduct ourselves from this connection.
Suzanne what a powerful and brilliant article! You have nailed with your comment “What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking”. As societies we see these things so often that instead of saying that those behaviours are not ok – we look to something else like 5 cups of coffee a day to keep us going, so as not to feel we have been part of the dysfunctional behaviours we now face in our society. Yet to do something truly loving and nurturing for yourself, like the Esoteric Breast Massage is considered weird and ‘off the planet’! Having been through the Esoteric Breast Massage program I can say it is the most non-sexual thing I have ever done. What I did feel though was a true tenderness and depth of stillness within myself that I cherish. It’s my compass and an ever deepening guide for me to learn from.
It certainly is time to re-write the dictionary and develop a new normal, one that honours true growth and evolution of humanity.
Thank you for sharing this Suzanne. What I see around me in society every day that is accepted as “normal” is road rage, people unhappy with their work, partners or life, obesity, mindless consumption of so called “entertainment”, war and conflict, discrimination against race and gender and the list could go on. If this is what is considered “normal” then it is definitely time for a new normal.
When you break it down like this Suzanne, normal has just become another way of saying ‘that is a repeated behaviour’. The word normal is like a cover up, a way we can lie to ourselves and ignore what is actually going on.
Is it really about what is normal or should we ask ourselves: is it true?
Great blog Suzanne and great question ‘What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” Love that you have brought this subject to light so that it’s something we can start discussing.
Your dictionary definition says it all….that which “conforms to a standard: usual, typical or expected.”… so once any type of abuse, war, atrocity become typical or expected it become the accepted normal… that’s NOT normal.
Suzanne great blog. – “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.” said perfectly. I think we band common and normal together too much… Some behaviours might be common, but they aren’t normal. I love how you proposed that normal might just be something we feel inside us for ourselves. What’s normal for us, without the imposition on what is common for society.
There is no such thing as ‘normal’. All we are doing by labelling something as normal is giving ourselves a means by which to compare or judge ourselves or others against. It’s a convenient way or ostracising those who do not fit in to what is considered normal and instils fear, criticism and judgement on those who choose to break out of the confines of ‘normal’.
Here here Suzanne! Indeed ‘normal’ has become something done by the majority or a lot of people… I can name loads of things done by millions of people worldwide that certainly shouldn’t be considered normal… Violence, sexual abuse, smoking, self harm etc.. All forms of abuse that are still accepted to a degree, otherwise we wouldn’t still have this much of them happening. We do need to redefine what normal means, and what can actually fall under that umbrella.
So true- we don’t even have a true definition of normal and perhaps here lies part of the reason we have a twisted sense of ‘normal’. Suzanne you explore this so well and as you point out many things are ‘usual’, ‘typical’ and ‘expected’ but this seems like a diminutive definition. By this dictionary definition we rob ourselves of a normal that can be ever evolving and also very practical. What if we understood the human body with a broad range of normal and outside of this many of the small warnings signs and symptoms are understood and are heeded as the precursors for disease they are?
I know what feels normal to me and that definitely does not include any form of abuse or lovlessness. If we get honest about what is going on in the world today with wars and poverty, homelessness, out of control illness disease it is pretty easy to conclude that humanity needs a new normal. In almost every aspect the old norm, is not working in our favour!
Just love what you share here Suzanne, such a great question ‘What IS normal’ and why are we all mindlessly accepting that ‘how the majority behave’ sets the norm for the rest of us. As the way we are living clearly isn’t working.
‘What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.’ Well said …. it’s up to us to deeply feel into our own rhythm and be impulsed to live from there, which will in turn be in harmony with all those choosing to do the same around us.
I agree, normal has become a word that allows both the abuse of ourselves and the abuse of others – I would way rather redefine normal to be love, responsibility and commitment.
Yes Meg and Ariana, it has become so normal to accept abuse in a job, a marriage, in our day to day living that we are unable to see how much we abuse ourselves or allow others to be abusive towards us. I would love to see saying no to abuse and yes to love as humanity’s new normal.
It’s amazing if you start to say no to abuse in one area of your life, the abuse in other areas becomes so obvious, and much easier to say no to.
I must have raised some eyebrows when I mentioned having had an EBM, especially with some friends but others have been quite interested to know more and trial it for themselves after having had Breast Surgery, they felt this may be a very nurturing and supportive thing to do. I have not had an EBM for some time but I would like to do so again soon.
Thank you Suzanne. I love the question “Is it possible we have it all wrong?” Just imagine, all this time, all the trying to “be normal” and yet we may very well have gotten it all wrong! What if this insistence on being normal is actually a disease that we live with, that the whole of society buys into? What if we lived true to ourselves, what would be normal then? I too choose to have Esoteric Breast Massages because they support me to deeply connect with myself as a woman. Honouring the woman that I am is normal for me now and what is no longer normal for me is to live in a way that is not supportive for my body and being.
Well said, Elizabeth. What could indeed be more normal than listening to your body and honouring the way you feel inside? How the basic loving principles of caring for ourselves have become anything other than the most natural thing in the world is beyond me.
I agree Janet, how has looking after ourselves and each other from a loving and truthful foundation become abnormal? How did overriding the body become normal? We are re-writing the history books with our take on what is normal – starting with the simplicity of self-love!
Your comment about honouring yourself as a woman is normal for you is very inspiring Elizabeth. Its lovely to hear that your normal is now about supporting your body and being.
I love this question “Is it possible we have it all wrong?” my answer would be yes. It’s funny as I was on a bus the other day when the bus conductor was blown away by the fact I don’t drink – she thought that was weird. But in fact I choose to not drink because I feel amazing for not drinking. I want to feel, to be vital, to deal with my issues, to not numb and dull myself, I also do not want to harm or poison my body, this is my normal.
Gosh Gyl – Imagine – we are living at a juncture in time where we have allowed taking poison (yes lets not beat around the bush – a classified poison that is processed by the body as a poison) to become so absolutely common (and even a key feature of most ‘celebrations’) we end up erroneously calling it ‘normal’.
I can see a cartoon where everyone is sipping on bottles with the skull and cross bones poison symbol – not batting an eye lid as though it’s totally fine, not noticing the very clear symbol on the bottles – but the one in a thousand that is not is finger pointed to be called weird…hmmm might be that we went a bit off track somewhere along the way. Time for a new normal? – I’m very sure our bodies would say so – imagine if vitality and even harmony was our new marker of basic normality (albeit super uncommon with burn out off the grid and conflict in our bodies and between peoples ever growing) – Imagine if we let our bodies tell us if anything was less than that, – we would have a new normal that would soon develop into something even more amazing till normal becomes common and we know we are naturally from divinity and are to treat ourselves and each other with precious care and redevelop this in our daily lives.
Yes, Elizabeth: What if this insistence on being normal is actually a disease that we live with, that the whole of society buys into? Absolutely. So, it raises eyebrows if we as women decide to have Esoteric Breast Massages, a very sacred modality, performed by very special, highly trained and deeply caring women – for women? But in contrast it’s ‘normal’ that many people use their phones for porn, even young people send selfies of their private body parts to their current partner, and on the list goes. This confirms to me the first sentence above. What is normal about this level of disregard?
Elizabeth it’s very profound what you ask; “What if this insistence on being normal is actually a disease that we live with, that the whole of society buys into?” These things that society buys into that create harm in any way should come with a health warning. “This product is damaging please choose again” would be a brilliant label to add to every harmful product and activity. They do it for cigarettes … why not introduce this to other products?
Elizabeth since reading about “a new normal” its struck me how many different things there are that we call normal but are harmful to us. Furthermore that desire to be normal to fit in is certainly a disease (great way to put it) as by that very action we abandon what we feel is true for us and join a group. I recall being at school and trying to fit in and be normal, in the process I had to adopt certain practices and ignore what I felt. What I’ve come to understand is that normal does not mean true at this point in time. Therefore its up to us to build a new normal that is true. For instance eating healthy food is not normal but its certainly known to be true and supportive for the body.
I like your thought, Elizabeth, that society buys into the idea of having to be normal like a disease we live with. I guess I have never really felt I was ‘normal’, always felt I did not fit into what others felt I should be and do. I always felt different, sensitive, caring, wondered why I was here on this earth etc. So for many years I tried to fit in, but that feeling never really went away, until I met Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, and met lots of others who felt the same as I did. What a relief it was at last for me to feel that I actually fit with other like-minded people. And now I know that it goes much much deeper than that, to my connection with my Soul.
So regarding normal as a disease, that keeps us from truly connecting with ourselves seems now to be a very interesting way of regarding it. Something that is there deliberately to keep us from knowing ourselves.
It really is time isn’t it that we looked at this word, ‘normal’ and our desire to fit in with groups of people who may be doing something that is actually self-harming. Your list, “It is normal to see a fist fight outside a pub at midnight. It is typical to drink alcohol every day of the week…” really highlights the behaviours we have come to accept as normal but need to take a re-look into.
Yes there are so many abnormal Norms! Even Norm himself if you remember “Life be in it” ads on Australian TV in the 80s (easy to find on Youtube) educating the public about obesity was considered a norm of sorts – over weight, too much beer, not enough exercise and typical of the Australian male of the day. 30 years on sadly obesity is higher than it ever was.
Just because everybody does something, doesn’t mean its good for you, and just because not many people do something, also doesn’t mean that it’s not good for you.
I can share personally and first hand that the EBM has been an incredible support for my wife in her own personal growth and development. The only thing about EBMs is that relatively few people have experienced just how extraordinary a modality of health it is.
Thank you Suzanne and Dean, Norm was a ‘take off’, or playing to society as a war against being a lounge lizard – as with all wars no one ever wins. We accept or align to what we feel is normal for us at any given time. What Serge Benhayon presents now seems completely normal. Or should I say the truth that Serge presents feels true in my body!
What is normal is very personal. What is normal for this moment can be completely different in a different time for the same person. Therefore what is normal cannot be stagnant, as we are all forever changing and evolving. And as our choices are different, what is normal for someone at one point in time, also can be completely different to another. So the word normal however way we feel it, does not point to one thing and one thing only, it is impossible.
What is deemed as ‘normal’ today is accepting living less than our potential, personally and as a whole society.
Well said Karoline
Yes, we live less than who we truly are; and that’s normal. It’s normal to live self-abusive, like drinking alcohol, eating foods that don’t really agree with us. But it’s not normal to receive a beautiful modality, the Esoteric Breast Massage, which is so healing and nurturing. Loving ourselves is not normal, and so on.
So true Karoline, and it all comes back to what we choose to accept, and it seems that most are accepting: “less than our potential”. It’s time to stop accepting the perceived normal, and only accept what we know to be true. We always have a choice!
Yes, well said Karoline. Why have we accepted living less than our potential for so long? What is it we are saying yes to when we say no to living in our fullness and accepting this as normal?
Normal is how we come into the world; soft, sweet, tender, still, playful and absolutely oozing with love. Living less than this is ‘typical’ but never is it normal. That we think living tough, depressed, exhausted, defensive, nervous and angry is ‘normal’, shows just how far from true normal we have actually drifted.
Normal goes back to NORM – and my dictionary say it means: ‘the general accepted way of living together in society.’
So WE set up what is the norm, what is called normal by what we are accepting.
So it is the responsibility of all of us to face what is called normal this days -but not feel normal at all- because we accepted it.
And I agree: It’s time for a new normal – time to make true choices of what I am willing to accept – and what not.
So true Sandra, what we accept we become – so it’s time time to unreservedly accept making true and loving choices as being the way we choose to live and to not accept the abuses in society being passed off as normal.
Great call Sandra, we complain about things we don’t like, but we have set them up to be that way. So we have allowed what is normal to be accepted and there is no one else to blame.
Very true Gyl. It’s certainly not pleasant to feel that we are responsible for the mess we are in. However, it’s now about how we want to move forward from here. If we want to return to a way of living that reflects who we truly are, the more we choose to live in that way now, with consistency, we will inspire others to look at how they are living and in time, make different choices.
It seems that we have accepted abuse as the norm. Accepting things as normal even though they don’t feel right for us and for the society we live in also puts a muzzle on anyone speaking up within that group. It’s crazy and quite insidious … Reminds me of the story where the emperor had no clothes!
This is true Suzanne. We do find ourselves feeling under pressure to involve ourselves in something that is ‘normal’ even though it may not feel right for us. It goes against any natural feeling that we may have that is screaming ‘no’, but because it is seen as ‘normal’ by most we do it anyway against our better judgement.
For me it looks like that we – with every little lie, with every fake smile, with every dishonesty, every moment we do look away when we see, hear or feel an abuse – we confirming it, accepting it and so create a ‘new normal’. This can be an abuse of words, relationships,….can be everything. So I have to stop to confirm others in their lies – even that’s maybe uncomfortable. And I feel inspired here to go not into a fight when someone does not confirm with me – let’s check it and have a go for the truth. Truth is more important than being comfortable. Because the truth is connecting us all and the ‘false normals’ bringing us just separation. Confirming is not Connection.
What should be normal is what feels right to us and not follow what others are doing just because they are doing it and everyone else thinks its normal…
exactly alexandremed and what if normal was feeling amazing!
Gyl it is crazy when we feel amazing we can be hesitant to say so yet we have accepted it as ‘normal’ to say ‘I’m not too bad’, or ‘I’m OK but I need a coffee’. If it was normal to feel and express how amazing we are the world would be a very different place.
There is even a funny thing going on in Facebook to help foreigners like me understand the British when they talk, for instance when they say: “not too shabby” they really mean “the best in my life” or “it was not too bad” they mean “absolutely awesome” I found it hilarious because it does happen, and although it is funny, it also shows how it is better to water things down, or not be too excited in case it does not last, or it disappears…keep it cool, don´t be emotional, but at the same time, play it down, that is THE NORMAL. Well, I want to be able to say out loud how great the EBM is, what an amazing feeling I have when I am connected to my essence, that there is no substance or experience in the world that can compare or even get close to that, so I won´t say it´s just nice. I will say it is absolutely divinely amazingly awesome.:)
Beautiful …. what if ‘normal’ was the way we are ‘meant’ to be living. How we were created to be …. tender, loving souls, deeply connected to our inner hearts and each other, joyfully living in harmony. That IS possible, it’s just a choice away, for everyone.
I totally agree, the normal is based on numbers and sometimes is the opposite of what is true, loving and caring. We need to say it and not accept those things as normal. And also be brave to stand for what we know is true and loving even if it does not “look” normal, like an EBM. Thank you. Enough of conforming and accepting things that don´t agree with our essence of love. Just because many people do it.
It is true Julia, it is always going to be about what feels true coming from our bodies and not from our heads or what others say. Having had many EBM’s I can definitly say that they are without question an amazing way of understanding ourselves on a deeper level as well as nurturing our bodies on a deeper level.
Thanks Suzanne for pondering on what “normal” is. When I was a student although it was “normal” for everyone around me to get drunk all of the time it was not something that I felt I wanted to do as I didn’t drink, and although this aspect of our culture is considered “normal” it is not something I have ever felt comfortable with. At the time my normal was not to drink, as indeed it is now, and it did feel like I was the only person not doing it. However the ostracisation as a result was very difficult for me to handle, especially at the age of 18. At the time although it was very clear to me that drinking was self abusive I did not have that foundation of self love that could withstand the back lash and so got quite depressed. I can quite understand how many people resort to those behaviours that don’t feel quite “normal” to themselves simply to fit in, or to not stand out. It takes a self assuredness, an inner strength, an understanding and a complete lack of judgement of others to honour our normal and to live uncompromisingly with our truth. As I get older and have developed more self love and have let go of many of my hurts I am finding that this is much easier to do and am finding that many are looking at my normal and are becoming inspired by it.
Michelle, I was one of those teenager that believed to take drugs, drink alcohol and smoke cigarettes was rebelling against a norm, only to find that I was really conforming to the so called ‘norm’ of teenage rebellious behaviour. I was not able to stand apart, I wanted to fit in. True non-conformity (the new normal) comes from within. Setting my own markers, feeling what is right for me, taking care of my body standing apart if need be. There can be a tension, when others struggle to understand why I’ve made the choices I have.
It is interesting how we accept things as ‘normal’ including abuse, because we often know no different. It is only when we begin to truly feel our bodies that we become aware of the uncomfortableness of what is going on. Then it is our choice to stand up and speak out and do something about it, or to accept and carry on living with that abuse.
I agree Carmel, it is amazing to feel the levels of abuse we allow, take part in and accept. I am discovering more and more subtle forms of abuse everyday, by myself and others. For example, comments, sarcastic remarks, little put downs, this can happen in family circles or with friends and we accept this as normal, a joke, just a bit of fun, but it’s not. It’s deeply harming and it hurts. Even when people laugh at it, and say they are not bothered you can often see their body physically change, there can be a tension, their body hardens like they are protecting themselves. And how often do we abuse ourselves in passing remarks, nothings such as our appearance or negative thoughts, even stressing and rushing. What I have also noticed is this can happen when I write, by adding in little words like “but or just’ at times is a way of putting myself down. I for one, am standing up to say no to abuse on any level to myself and others.
Yes, Carmel, it is interesting that people accept things as ‘normal’ including abuse, because they know no different. That can be seen in certain communities where domestic abuse is absolutely rife. It is so common that it is accepted within that society that it is ‘normal’ for a man to beat his wife. Until these people see that other people do not live like that, and that there is another way to be living, they will know no better. It is only when they do see others living lovingly in their relationships, that they will no longer say yes to that abuse.
Carmel what you have shared here is the next step. Yes there is so much that is considered ‘normal’ but when we connect with our bodies and stand and say
‘enough is enough’ regardless of what others are doing we can change the cycle of abuse.
Normal is not necessarily okay.
So simple isn’t it really and there is not much more that needs to be said other then how important we are and how by making these choices we get to really enjoy ourselves on a much deeper level. So how can that not be the simple ‘normal’ truth for each of us?
This is so true Suzanne, ‘in our society we accept and even champion behaviours based on what we deem is normal.’ It feels like there is so much trying to fit into the ‘normal’, even though it may not feel right, rather than standing for truth and not being afraid to stand out and be different.I spent so many years overriding and compromising what I felt to fit in, and I still didn’t feel like I fitted in, what a waste of time and energy. It feels so much more lovely to walk my path and follow what feels true for me, even if it is not considered ‘normal’ by society.
Great angle to come at normal Suzanne, for a start we should be the judge of our own normal and do what feels right for us. Many times in the past I have been lead astray by the normal of others, down a path that took me a long time to return from. The new normal needs to be a true way of living that doesn’t harm ourselves or others in any way. I saw a very fit healthy looking young woman the other day smoking an E-pipe, one of these electronic vapour devices that replace cigarettes or the pipe to get nicotine into the blood stream. To me this looked totally abnormal, but to her friends it seemed to be totally common place.Each to their own I suppose, but are these contraptions any better for you than real cigarettes?
I find there are many activities and leisure pursuits that have been deemed normal but if we were to step back and look at it they might not seem so normal after all. Whenever I stop and observe sport, really look at what I am watching I can see how abnormal it is to do that to our bodies and to another. The same with cigarettes or alcohol, when examined from the outside looking in it all seems a bit crazy, the abuse that we allow our bodies to take. All in the name or entertainment health and pleasure!
I agree with your words Kevmchardy, it seems that to “be the judge of our own normal” is of high value as if we are listening to our body, hearing the wisdom from within and not allowing the mind to quickly and loudly over-ride our innate wisdom we are making a choice and an innately aware and known choice.
It seems that life offers many and varied choices for ones who choose not to be connected to their innateness, their true tenderness or deep love and thence find themselves in a mire of mind driven directives to appear to either ‘fit in’ with the crowd’s latest fad, or from the other end of the scale to ‘stand out’ for their ‘extreme’ decision to do or be in some way.
So what is ‘normal’ is a good question. It seems to me that many may think from the mind that what is ‘normal’ is when more and more people are ‘doing it’ whether it be as a result of a misguided choice from the information available, or from a choice to want to ‘fit in’ thus being imprinted with the thought that it must be okay/normal. LIfe I have found becomes more ‘normal’/’simple’ when one re-connects to the inner stillness of the body and discovers that there is a deep connection with our innate knowing. That is where I have found my well of ‘normal-ness’ that I can delve into for what feels normal to me.
Harmlessness springs to mind kevmchardy. When having EBMs I get to see and really really note how harmlessness feels. The practioners are so delicate in their touch, that it is not possible for there to be even a hint of harshness that won’t be felt in that moment. This then gives me a real marker that I can take into the world of what is possible by human beings to not harm. Of course I then see people behaving ‘normally’ and with that is harshness and harm in spades. But I at the very least know and feel deeply another way of being that I know is possible for every single human to live too. And thus as you write, “…The new normal – a true way of living that doesn’t harm ourselves or others in any way….”
Yes Suzanne it is definitely time for a new ‘normal’ where we each take responsibility for feeling what is right, true and evolutionary for ourselves and reflect that to the world. This would not only re-define the word but change the current justification of behaviour that is ‘common’ or ‘typical’ as being ‘normal’ and therefore somehow acceptable.
What is normal anyway? I am finding in my life that I can only live that which feels right for me, and I am finding what is right for me is constantly open to change, and as I honour that in myself I naturally also honour that in others, so if we each live that which feels right to us and allow others to also live this, making changes when needed, then there can be no normal, unless of course totally honouring and living that which feels right for ourselves and allowing change in all our ways, ideas, thoughts and beliefs is the new normal.
Beautiful Rosemary. Consistently living that which feels true to us. I am open to this being the new normal.
Yes Lee and Rosemary – and so the new normal changes all the time as we evolve.
I’m right there with you Lee and Rosemary…I love the definition of the new normal.
Very true, at this stage I’m not entirely sure what normal is. If we define it by what naturally works for us. But I feel ‘normal’ is the process of refining and discovery of what is naturally us.
This questioning of what is normal, is long overdue on the planet, indeed does the word itself need to be re-defined, as today what is ‘normal’ is often the averagely acceptable. Really appreciated your article Suzanne, thank you.
Yes so true Catherine. And for me what is ‘averagely acceptable’ is just not acceptable at all.
For example –
Young children watching rated M Movies is considered ‘normal’
Pornography – considered normal
Multiple coffees a day – considered normal
The list goes on…
There are so many levels to this.
Time to redefine this word NORMAL.
What you say Rosemary feels so true – what is normal for us may not be what is normal for the rest of the world. However, what is important is to honour what feels right for us in the moment – trusting our own innate feelings that confirm us and expand our understanding of life and not conform to someone else’s understanding of life just to fit in.
You’re living the new normal Rosemary!
It’s certainly true Suzanne that receiving a breast massage is not something that is seen as ‘normal’ in our world at the moment. It is something that would more likely create alarm in most people. The breasts have been over sexualised, therefore most people will be suspicious of this modality, but the integrity, love and care that is lived by the practitioners and brought to the sessions is absolutely outstanding. The sessions offer so much invaluable healing it is a shame if many are missing out because of judgement. It would be amazing if in the future this level of healing is accepted as normal.
I’m all for breasts coming back to the woman’s body and being a part of the whole body, instead of being singled out for attention. As Serge Benhayon presents we can never look at any one part of life, the whole life must always be considered. Plato said it this way too. Approaching our body in this way, it is easier to feel how supportive an esoteric breast massage is for the whole women, her being, her emotions, her inner most feelings; it was never created to be about the breasts, but rather to allow a woman’s inner feelings to rise up to the surface because that delicate nurturing centre had been activated. EBMs might be uncommon or unusual for some, but the deep level of healing possible is something that cannot be held back from all women and therefore men in turn, as we all benefit from another’s level of wellbeing.
A great blog, Suzanne. Such an interesting word – normal. It is true what we observe as our society’s normal is not always supporting/serving us for true good; and I also agree that ‘normal’ differs from one person to another. What I feel I need to be careful about is not to rob ourselves of potential true goodness by calling something ‘normal’ just because there are many people who subscribe to that choice, and settle for a reduced version of what we are and what we deserve to have.
Yes I agree Fumiyo the word normal can mean that many people expect a situation or assume something to be acceptable just because others are doing it.
Reducing ourselves to the ‘Norm’ should not be normal.
‘Normal’ has been for a long time a get out of jail free card. It has become the standardized number one excuse for just about anything we have not wanted to take ownership for in our lives. By the simple, at times automatic act of expressing that your actions are normal, for doing anything that would not feel right in your body if you felt into it… is becoming the new normal!
I use to be paranoid about telling people what EBM stands for but over the years I have been sharing more of my experiences with other woman as I could avoid it no longer for many reasons.
EBM changed my life and it is not fair to keep that secret from anyone, let alone the amount of woman struggling with the demands from society these days.
I must admit that the modality sounded freaky deaky to me at first but I can honestly say it is nothing like you imagine. Only the palm of the hand is being used and there is mostly anticlockwise circles under your arms in your lymphatic area or around the outside of your breast (no weird nipple action)
I was struggling with breast feeding at the time I had my first EBM and was dealing with a very painful mastitis. Had I not had the support of the EBMs I think I may have fallen into post natal depression. The women that practice remind you of true woman health care, like midwifes and nurses might have been from an old village. I continued to get EBMs long after breast feeding was over and they supported with lots of changes such as periods becoming lighter and more enjoyable along with learning how to track my cycle. I am a huge advocate of this modality and love the fact that you are busting the whole, is it normal or not, thing straight out of the water. You simply never get touched like that, it opens you up to the delicate woman you are at the same time as realising all the hardness that you have carried.There is nothing strange in it, it is the most professional and caring environment that I have ever been in.
A gorgeous comment sarahraynebaldwin, thank you. You made a valid point, “…You simply never get touched like that,…”
It’s a touch like stroking a sleeping butterfly’s wing, and I am that butterfly. I don’t think I have ever been treated so so delicately in my life by anyone, having my EBMs have been a brand new marker of what respect, integrity, and harmlessness is. Without having had these esoteric breast massages, I wouldn’t have been able to write Time for a New Normal – I would still be caught up looking at what everyone else was doing, measuring and gauging myself against others, justifying my chosen behaviours, justifying other’s behaviours, protecting myself from people etc etc I don’t want these behaviours to be the norm for me nor anybody else, that’s for sure.
Suzanne great discussion on what is ‘Normal’. What I have come to realise like yourself is that I totally got sucked into and lived my life on ‘fitting in’ with what everyone else was doing and that became my normal. Until the first workshop with Universal Medicine presented by Serge Benhayon I went to started to crack through this way of thinking and opened up the possibility that perhaps this wasn’t really the truth of life. I have come to love my New Normal by listening to myself and feeling what it is within me, not caring what others think and accepting that my New Normal is actually very easy and effortless.
Recently I was with a friend and I questioned him about the fact that his teenage kids were going out each weekend, partying, drinking, staying up all night and sleeping all day. His response was “Oh that’s normal for kids their age.” I could tell it suited him to deem their behaviour ‘normal’ as otherwise he would have to take responsibility for what was going on and find out why they were abusing themselves all weekend. He was too absorbed in his own life and did not want to be bothered with them. I feel much of society has a similar attitude to this friend – if we deem it ‘normal’ then you don’t have to address the issue.
A lot of what kids are doing these days is considered normal. Somehow we have managed to get science to write a study that confirms teenagers need to sleep in late for their physiology! Could this just suit the parents? Perhaps having their teens sleep in might be considered reward for their years of getting up early to babies and toddlers, and parents are happy to be ‘getting their life back’. For now it suits them to not have to take any responsibility and address the issue as you say. It would be interesting to see if your response to his, “Oh that’s normal for kids their age.”, was perhaps “No, that’s common for kids their age, but not normal”, what then would the response have been?
I agree with your comment Brendan, regarding the major religions which society regards as being a normal part of life. To me, their history of violence and corruption is certainly not normal, but seems to be brushed aside by so many because they have existed for so long. This would also apply to the dogmas that are so often required to be believed to be regarded as one of ‘them’. Some of these religions are extremely controlling, but this is accepted as you say, because “they are common or have been around for a long time.”
Joy is one of the most natural feelings within the body—yet it is one of the most resisted feelings we live. Expressing joy then becomes something very awkward and unnatural in our world. Sadness is heralded as beautiful and exquisite in movies and popular culture. When someone lives joy, it becomes an exposing reflection of our choices to not be in joy, we can either choose to reflect this and choose differently, or find fault in the person which joy is expressed, the same joy that we all have.
Frequently what the world reflects to me is, 1) It is not normal to be feeling at all; 2) It is not normal to be feeling uncomfortable in a lot of things which are said and reflected in the world that do not feel loving, what is normal is to numb and accept; 3) It is not normal to be feeling all that is not loving in the world and then expressing it.
If the above is all not normal, why is the body feeling deeply depressed and anxious when I try to live in what is considered “normal” by everyone? And if most people are living according to this arbitrary normal just because most people make it to be, because it feels safe and is a protection, then my question would be, could this be what is contributing to the increasing levels of anxiety and depression in the world?
” While having an Esoteric Breast Massage (EBM), it dawned on me in the middle of the session, – that this healing modality might not be considered by some as normal!” I agree Suzanne, there are many who would not regard having an EBM was normal, and when I first heard this, then new, modality had become available, I admit I was very hesitant to have one, it did seem a bit strange. And being a very private person, it took me a while to try having a session. Yes, there was information that explained all about the EBM that was extremely helpful. When I did venture forth, all my misgivings were forgotten. At my first session, I was treated with an amazing level of loving integrity, and I absolutely enjoyed the very beginning of feeling own breasts. I had for much of my life shut down to my own femaleness and over a number of years of having regular EBM’s, I have come to really feel the beautiful woman that I now know I truly am. I would recommend this modality for any grown woman of any age, it is absolutely life transforming to feel yourself as a true delicate woman.
Dear Suzanne,
I have always kept normal and natural separate, aware that ‘normal’ in society today simply means commonplace. I love that you have brought normal back into the realms of a something that feels true and, when considered, serves a bigger picture than our individuated own? Thank you.
A great point to consider Brendan. Maybe we ‘need’ the normal, something to fit into, because we are not seeing how natural it is to be ourselves and live this to the full thereby downgrading who we are to be ‘normal’.
Thank you Suzanne for bringing awareness to what we perceive as normal and a fresh perspective to the meaning of that word.
How our ‘normal’ behaviours in society have been downgraded over the years. Alcohol, drug and pornography use is greater and beginning at younger and younger ages. Even in health it is considered ‘normal’ to age with multiple conditions. What are we settling for and accepting if we consider that this is ‘normal’ and what is to be expected? It’s a sad indictment on how we are living if this is our norm and tending to ourselves in a way that is nurturing and supportive is not. Time to change.
Normal is a powerful word used in our society because somehow when we say this behaviour or that is normal, it makes it okay. As you state Suzanne ‘But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?’
Just because something is deemed as ‘normal’ does not mean it is necessarily a ‘good’ thing that serves anyone. Yet if something that is a ‘good’ thing and serves ourselves and others, but is not perceived as ‘normal’ it is judged because it is not known, it’s new, and unfamiliar. The question I would ask in relation to what’s normal, is how does this behaviour serve myself and others in our society?
If we accept what is currently considered as normal in our society we are in deep trouble. It really just gives us an excuse not to be responsible for the ill choices we are making or have accepted. Thank you for your article Suzanne, which proposes a redefining of ‘normal’ – a healthier sustainable normal, based on what is true, not familiar.
Yes Victoria ‘If we accept what is currently considered as normal in our society we are in deep trouble.’
Just because an action/behaviours etc are deemed as ‘normal’ does not mean it is serving for us or our society as a whole…The standards of normal these days actually support us to live less than our potential. Our normal today does not encourage or inspire our personal and as a whole society to develop to a potential of greatness. In short we accept less and that is ‘normal’.
Yes Karoline, imagine if we accepted that what was ‘normal’ was for us all to live in full glorious expression, from the love we are… now that would change a few things very naturally.
True Victoria.
And I thank God that I am not ‘normal’. I used to try and pretend to be ‘normal’ and it only got me into trouble. Since Universal Medicine has been a part of my life, I am definitely even further from ‘normal’ but closer than ever to my ‘true normal’ which feels like a super normal way of living that is more amazing every day.
Funny I don’t think I was ever tagged as ‘normal’ in the past, I was perceived as a bit ‘different’ (a bit deep and meaningful :)), I purposely reacted to the so called norm – I was in reaction to the untruth of what was often considered normal. This ‘true normal’ expressed on this blog, one that lives with a great respect of ourselves and others, is a normal that would naturally support us all.
Brendan, I love how you have clarified the difference between the two words ‘natural’ and ‘normal’ – and it seems to me as you have described, these two words are miles apart in their true meanings. Very insight-full – thank you.
Super blog Suzanne, what I could feel was that ‘normal’ we tag as normal (!) holds such restriction, feels uniform, plain, even with dullness, and is a form of measurement in accordance to the numbers of people who verify it as being so. The normal you so well describe here feels lightness and the complete reverse with your words: “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour” – Normal then is just our Truth, and honouring this.
Normal becomes just our truth. I shall write in to Oxford Dictionary and propose this 🙂
Love your article Suzanne, yes definitely time for a new normal I agree.
Most of what we have accepted as normal in society is actually abnormal. It is we though who have accepted less and created the ‘normal’ tags and it is we who can also begin to change that. As we allow ourselves to truly feel and be more aware it is very clear what is normal would be that which supports us and all. Much of what was normal in the past is not normal now, so our ‘normal’ is ever changing as we are but does not necessarily represent the truth.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”
I agree with all you have said here, Victoria, what is truly “normal would be that which supports us and all”. And that ‘normal’ is constantly changing as we ourselves evolve.
Brilliant blog. Who defines normal? I get what you are saying about the Esoteric Breast Massage modality. This modality is not about breasts being the physical object but more energetically what women hold that isn’t truly them within that area of the body. EBM’s are carried out by highly trained female practioners that hold both physical and energetic integrity in very high regard. I have found them so supportive, been able to let go of things I have been holding onto that aren’t loving, feel more connected to my body and with myself as a woman, care for myself more and my heart is open to others whereas before I would be very guarded.
Great piece Suzanne, and the question you ask is pertinent, what if we use the norms around us in society to justify behaviour that doesn’t truly support or evolve us – super true and one I can feel needs more unraveling. Thanks for shining a spotlight on how we allow ourselves to buy into ‘normal’.
Thanks monicag2. Norms of society are based on comparison. That’s the next word that needs unravelling…
Love your blog Suzanne. I recall thinking the same thing when I had my first EBM but going back a step, when I first heard about the modality I thought “I’m not sure about this – it sounds a bit weird to me – certainly not ‘normal’. Your exposé on the meaning of ‘normal’ is brilliant and yes, it certainly is ‘Time for a New Normal’
Having experienced the exquisite healing that is offered through Esoteric Breast Massages there is no doubt that if women around the world were given the same opportunity to experience this modality, there would be a new normal out there in the way that women started to deeply honour their bodies and themselves… which would be really beautiful to see.
I agree with you Samantha. There would be women everywhere talking about their esoteric breast massage like it was a new pair of well designed, classy shoes they just bought for half price! But with way more benefits 🙂
It is a slippery slope when we base what is normal on what we see a majority of people doing – take fashion for example leading to anorexia or a sport leading to feeling aches and pain for a few days afterwards or a massage leading to bruising as not just normal, but a good massage. This slippery slope has allowed true health and wellbeing to shift from feeling joyful and amazing to just not being sick so often, or that the pain killers work. We have allowed cancer to get to a level where it is normal to know someone with cancer. I appreciate this blog supporting people to rethink what is normal in our world.
I agree Brendan, ‘what may be considered ‘normal’ or familiar is not necessarily natural at all. There is a harmony in what is natural and it is in respect to what is truly supportive to our bodies, our relationship with others and the environment we live in.
The word ‘common’ is a better fit for the majority of society’s behaviours. Many of these behaviours are certainly not normal and definitely not natural.
Eg. If I was in a suburb where every house on the block did drugs or alcohol on a daily basis, then this behaviour is common for this area- it is not normal and it is definitely not natural.
For me normal is what is true and natural for us. It is normal to feel how lovely we are, it is normal to self care and to honour our feelings, it is normal to express our truth, it is normal to be caring and considerate to self and others. These are normal and natural and hold everyone equally for who they truly are.
‘normal is what is true and natural for us’. I love what you have expressed here Johanna.
What is normal? Is it something that is done consistently and everyone gets use to seeing it and knowing it happens and accepts it, as they feel they can’t change it? Like how you described a pub fight, yeah that happens, we expect it, its normal. How someone lives regarding drinking alcohol every day or with every meal. Or for some living in a loving way supporting ourselves with food and amazing healing modalities like Esoteric breast massage. I know which normal I choose.Thank you Suzanne,
Suzanne, this is a fabulous blog. I have always thought that we as society do not use this word ‘normal’ correctly. I feel people tend to use the word normal instead of the word ‘common’.
You are completely correct in asking this question.
‘But doesn’t what is usual, typical or expected, change from person to person?’
And you are right, it does.
Indeed johanna.
Good call, Suzanne. I’ve been horrified when commenting to a friend about their behaviour – in one case, having multiple sexual affairs behind their partner’s back. Their response was: “Everyone else does it.”. And my response was: “Well lots of people commit murder and rape but that doesn’t mean it’s OK just because other people do it.” Silence. That’s an extreme example but it does highlight how easily we can just assume that behaviours are ‘normal’ because other people do them. It’s an unspoken collusion. Why aren’t we feeling into every behaviour to check whether it in fact fits with what we know ought to be normal, that is, true? And as you say, why are we not expressing our normal everyday amazingness?
I agree Dianne that ‘It’s an unspoken collusion’ used to justify behaviour that people know is not right. The more people start to express their own amazingness the more this will become the ‘new normal’ and the less other people will be able to justify behaviour that is not loving to themselves or others.
Good point, Helen. When loving amazingness is expressed by many, the ones who are still in the ‘old normal’ will stand out like sore thumbs and feel themselves wanting to join the truth.
it is indeed an unspoken collusion used to justify what is deeply known irresponsible behaviour, and behaviour we do not want to be accountable for. We want someone else to blame, anyone but ourselves, and so here comes ‘Normal’ and the notion ‘everyone else is doing it’. Cop out.
I love the way you have discerned the difference between normality and natural-ness, Brendan. It really demonstrates how externally imposed our concepts of ‘normality’ are, since they rarely feel completely natural. Thank you.
It is unnatural to be normal … It takes away our choice in each moment to choose for ourselves our way forward, it’s disempowering why would we do that? We would rather turn a blind eye and go with the flow than be responsible for ourselves and in turn reflect responsibility to others … and if we did that would have us engaging in life at a deeper level, revealing our inner choices and our innate knowing would be more real and transparent and shock horror! – Accountable…
“So the definition of what is normal cannot therefore be normal as there actually is no set normal for everybody.” So beautifully, quirkily and succinctly expressed, Suzanne. Normality in statistical terms is based solely on the graphed bell curve, with the middle 80% under the curve representing what is done, said or believed by the majority. Interestingly, the 10% at either end of the bell curve are also related to he 80% majority – just slightly less than or more than in their expression of that particular normality. Hence, we are all expected to relate to what is normal – or to Society’s norms, in one way or another. But these bell curves keep shifting.
Even more importantly, what if the foundation for this normality is false? This is exposed when we encounter something different (like EB ) which is unusual but so self evidently true. Continuing to uproot false foundations is where I see the re defining, or even complete divesting of, ‘normal’ will occur.
Thank you Brendan. Your comments here are a perfect complement to Suzanne’s article exploring normal. Natural for me is my connection to what I feel when I am still and allow my truth to emerge, not just going along or not because it is common as you say, or in reaction.
Thank you Suzanne, it’s a great point you make ‘Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?’ – if everyone else is doing it, is that ample justification for us to do something that we know does not support us? Or conversely, to hold back from doing, being or expressing in a certain way because it is different to what we see around us. It is actually incredibly liberating to take the focus away from what is different to the norm, and instead bring focus to what feels true.
Brendan, you make a powerful and valid point in recognising major religions as being considered normal despite the fact that people have been and still are being murdered, bullied and abused in the name of religion. There is a sense somehow that because it’s in the name of religion, it’s justified, albeit not ever excused.
Yes Brendan and Suzanne, another reason why we really need to look at how we define and accept ‘normal’.
Completely agree Brendon, I really like your take on what is ‘normal’ and what is ‘natural’ – two very different sides of the coin and often with very different outcomes. If we reviewed what our normal is, and reassessed it I wonder if we would stop and realise that our normal has often become an irresponsible choice and no longer a natural one.
Thank you Suzanne for sharing these great exposing words and the apathy we allow our self to be held in. You are so right new normals are created daily by numbers not truths. When we are willing to be responsible and make our choices all about a quality then we will have a true new normal, up until then its living on a treadmill not allowing to feel what pain these so called norms are doing to our body .
When kids and teens are growing up, they look to what their older peers and adults are doing. If the peers and adults do not take responsibility with their own behaviour to create a “normal” that is respectful and supportive for everyone, then “the normals” we have will likely always be harmful to some degree. What’s normal may only change for the good of society when we each as individuals take responsibility with our own lives to show everyone what is acceptable or not – for the all.
This is brilliant. When we look at some of the horrific behaviours that occur and are accepted as normal it is like we are saying that it’s okay, even if we don’t truly feel that. A lot of behaviours that don’t support equality for example are accepted as normal. ‘The norm’ can gives us an excuse to not be responsible (after all everybody else is doing it so it must be normal). Is it possible that by feeling and taking responsibility for our own way of being could be the beginning of a new normal? “What if what is truly normal is what we feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings”?
Normal is a concept that has kept humanity trapped and separate from truth for eons as it is very often used as an excuse to not call out that which is disharmonious or harming.
Exactly Tim, it has kept us afraid to stand up and be our true selves. If we are not “normal” we will stand out and be seen, I think we have all experienced that, at one time or another. While there is still a need to be accepted by others, to stand out can be excruciating. In other times and places being “different” was enough to bring about death, so yes we have been trapped for many eons, but truly only by ourselves.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom Rosemary: “…yes we have been trapped for many eons, but truly only by ourselves…” Signing up to conform, compete, compare, fit in, be liked is our downfall. Who are we then, if we do all this? Our true selves will disappear.
Fantastic points, Suzanne! We use ‘normal’ as a convenient excuse to be irresponsible from an early age. I hear my children plea “but everyone is …..” and I remember doing the same growing up. ‘It’ might be the opposite to what feels right or may be against our personal values, but if everyone is doing it, then it is okay to do the same. Ridiculous!
Absolutely Carmin, ridiculous! Just because we have been doing it one way for aeons doesn’t mean to say that is right or true, it just means we have been giving ourselves away and not living in our true power and conforming to what society dictates, which boils down to keeping ourselves small and living in tension and comfort. If we can give ourselves permission to step outside of the box of what society believes to be normal, then we’re on our way to claiming our true nature, which in reality never left us in the first place, we left it!
I agree!
Yes Carmin, it really plays on the ideal of ‘not wanting to be left out or different’. If we all made honouring ourselves normal, no one would ever feel left out or separate.
Great Blog Suzanne. Very exposing of the way we allow our language and meaning to be formed. Instead of accepting ‘Normal’ by the standard of the majority – lets ‘own’ the ‘normal’ we feel within us and live that. The world has not known ‘Normal’ as lived by Serge Benhayon and the students of the Livingness for many life times. It is time we started to claim the ‘The way of the Livingness’ as normal.
Hear hear ch1956, “…lets ‘own’ the ‘normal’ we feel within us and live that…”
I can admit it did take me some time to come round to actually booking myself in for a EBM, but I am so glad I got over the resistance, as it has proven to be one of the most supportive and loving treatments I have ever experienced and so revealing of the ways in which we as women treat ourselves, harshly or otherwise. One day EBM’s will be the norm and seen for what they are, a healing gift from God.
This is a great blog, I particularly like the question posed: “Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?”
Norms are just group consciousnesses to my mind, that many cling to our of need for acceptance. Most are prisms of belief in many ways that must be obliterated for true change to take place in the world. Not all norms are bad and that’s just my opinion, but imagine a society where no-one was held by strong customs and norms who could instead do and be loving people, impulsed from their soul?
The norm we need is to be impulsed from our soul, thank you Oliver.
Thank you for exposing the ideas we hold about being “normal” Suzanne. Recently, I have been feeling how “normal” it is to be “nice” to people, rather than actually saying and doing what I feel is true and the best thing to do at that time. But this does not feel normal! It feels like something I have done for a long time, but it is actually starting to make me feel horrible in my body – my body reacts like it has eaten some food that has gone off. The more I spot the behaviour I thought was “normal” the easier it is to see the ideal and recognise what is truly normal.
Great points to make Suzanne. It is crazy what is considered norm even if it is killing us as a society. Why is it normal that people drink alcohol when all the evidence points to the fact that it is a poison in the system and all incidences that occur when people are under the influence are things that in their right mind they would never dream of doing? Why is it normal to drink coffee instead of feeling just how tired you are? Why it is normal to run ourselves to the ground and not take care of ourselves as the precious human beings we are? At what point did it become normal to abuse our self on a daily basis by thought and deed? The mind boggles when you ponder on what is considered normal.
The mind does indeed boggle kathleenbaldwin when pondering on what’s become normal. This conversation needs to be become mainstream.
This blog supports listening to and following the truth as we feel it to be from our connection to our breath and body. It highlights how we are so often seeking to be accepted and placing this ahead of what we feel to be true and that which evolves us.
Brilliant Suzanne. “What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” – This is a normal I want to be a part of! Until then, I’ll keep feeling inside myself as to what feels right, regardless of if it is considered ‘normal’ or not. It is my everyday normal 🙂
Everyday should be the time for a new normal – that should be normal! 🙂
Yes Felix, Yes Yes 🙂
Thank you Suzanne for this dedicated undressing of what normal has come to be. I love how you show underneath our behaviours there is a feeling sense of life we all have, that is actually normal. Imagine what our world would like if we all honoured our feelings, normally.
Suzanne I love your new normal. I’m all in for new normal, that is what feels normal for my body and me. My new normal has been taking shape with how I care for myself. Knowing that my body loves tender nurturing caring both physically and energetically. Harshness is becoming a thing of the past. What I nourish my body with is what supports me to feel vital. This is a fantastic new normal and no one could sell me the idea that I’m strange because I don’t comply with society’s version of normal, which means complying to an authority outside of myself.
Indeed Sandra, society’s normal means complying with an authority outside of ourselves, comparing ourselves. We tell our kids not to compare their drawing with another kid’s and yet we adults are doing it all the time with our approval of being okay with normal. I shake my head at this.
Hear, Hear Ariana. This is certainly the new normal that needs to replace the old. Let us all replace abuse in all it forms with tenderness. What a normal that will be!
I love what you’ve said here Suzanne, thank you for expertly debunking the way we often use the word ‘normal’. This is such a great question to ask – “But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?”
Agreed such a succinct question to ask and really within the question is the answer. There are so many things we consider normal these days, it’s as if as soon as something is common, it is deemed normal and therefore okay – so we now live in a world where we accept so many ills that simply are not serving us.
Profound Suzanne. The sense I arrived at as I was reading this awesome exposure was despite the crazy ‘norms’ that exist, the hesitation we have to stand out from these ‘norms’, in fear of being judged or cast out. For example when I first stopped drinking, or the reaction I feel when I decline a food because I can’t eat sugar. The underlying fear of being cast-out underpins some of people’s unwillingness to stand by their own ‘normal’ choices. Awesome, awesome article.
Yes ginadunlop, I have noticed that when I say I don’t drink alcohol, it provokes many reactions. It’s not the norm to not drink, but its my normal because it feels great. I have also been nervous about having to justify myself in the past so I’ve accepted a drink, to avoid all the fuss, then just held it in my hand all night and not drunk it. These days it doesn’t bother me that I stick out as not being ‘normal.’
Thank you ginadunlop for saying it here, so simply: “…despite the crazy ‘norms’ that exist, the hesitation we have to stand out from these ‘norms’…”
We compare and compete to be normal; what a mistake that is.
Suzanne you ask some great questions here. Our world and our fellow human beings are in the most terrible mess, exhausted, stressed and getting sicker every day. Living this so called ‘normal’ way is simply not working, so it’s up to everyone one of us to change the societal norm by claiming what it true in ourselves and living it as our normal no matter what reactions come our way. Thank God what is ‘normal’ is possible to change or I’d still be drinking alcohol to make others feel comfortable or rushing about my day when clearly my body never liked either of them. Loving and nurturing myself is now my normal way and as that continues to deepen and unfold, what is normal to me does too.
Gorgeous Suzanne, I love your blog exposing everything about how we have seen ‘normal’ in our societies and what our actual potential of normalcy really is. Normal is exactly what feels right and true for me and my own body and I love this! I discovered long ago that I wasn’t ‘normal’ amongst my certain groups too but this was just in comparison of what is thought to be normal. What if when we all live true to our own normal, we actually bring true brotherhood and equality to each other as we lie our true talents and share the gifts of our own way of living?
‘Normal is exactly what feels right and true for me and my own body’, I love this, especially when that ‘normal’ as defined the majority of the time is whatever the majority of people are doing.
Of course cheriseholt, the word normal in the dictionary only exists because of COMPARISON. Take out the measuring against what others are doing and there is No Normal.
Awesome way that you Suzanne have pulled apart the meaning of normal. It is so interesting to ponder on all that you have shared here – what is normal for one may not be normal for another. Having grown up and lived in many different countries, we got to see fast that what was normal for us was not necessarily normal for others. This was instrumental for us as a family to develop openness and understanding. It also taught us how to ‘adopt’ “normal” behaviours in order to be accepted by others – some of these ‘normal’ behaviours are culture related too, whilst other ‘normal’ behaviours have a religious connotation. But we can even bring it down to the most simplest of examples: For as long as I can remember, my husband and I have always eaten a cooked breakfast, no matter how early in the morning. One morning, a few years ago, we had a friend drop by to pick up something, and he happened to walk in on us eating breakfast – he asked us what the occasion was? It took us a little while to get what he meant, but we soon realised that it was not the norm for him to have cooked breakfast! We just answered, the occasion is that it is Wednesday (it just happened to be Wednesday that day) and we just smiled. What he got to feel that day was how normal it is for us to take the time to prepare and eat a wonderful warm breakfast, a normal way to support ourselves at the beginning of the day.
That’s a lovely example Henrietta and leaves me to ponder the many self nurturing and self loving ways that have become normal for so many students of Universal Medicine and how these ways are becoming so normal and natural it is consequently challenging norms and creating new ones.
I like normal being to develop openness and understanding. And I like the way your cooked breakfast was so normal too 🙂
I definitely agree 100% to what you are saying!!!The only one who decides what is normal, is me and my feeling to what is true.
It seems that we have mistaken the word “majority” for normal.
Normal tends to make us dull and unaware, often we just take it as it is without considering it further, probably we even don´t want to be bothered to discern – hence no responsibility and no action is necessary, it is comfortable. Or this variation, the so-called normal is actually a very supportive and thoughtful thing but as we take it for normal we don´t appreciate it anymore and therefore often don´t develop it further, hence comfort again. Normal seems to be the opposite of aware. So what about a normal that doesn´t dull us but keeps us attentive, broad-minded and open for learning and developing our level of love, wisdom and care? How would that look like?
Alex I like the way you have gone deeper with the meaning of normal and likened it to being unaware and just going along with the majority. And that even with a new supportive and thoughtful normal we can become complacent with it. One thing that comes to mind is falling in love and making an effort with your partner to be be loving and connected, and then after a while taking that person for granted and not bothering with those loving gestures like you used to. It can be applied to so many things we take for granted.
Yes, very good example. Even when we tend to take a person for granted with the best most caring and loving behaviours and settle with these very high standards as normal, we still would stagnate and not develop further hence limit our awareness and the potential for even a grander version of love and care.
Yes Alex, I’m all for that: “…a normal that doesn´t dull us but keeps us attentive, broad-minded and open for learning and developing our level of love, wisdom and care…”
Since I was a teenager I have tried to be as normal as possible. I used to watch TV and scour magazines looking for what was normal so I could make sure I adhered. After attending Universal Medicine workshops, and receiving Esoteric Healing techniques, I now am free to choose what is normal for me, and what a relief that is.
“…free to choose what is normal for me…” The way forward Heather 🙂
Whilst these examples may be considered normal by society, the body never considers them normal. Take tenderness – that is normal for the body.
Beautiful blog Suzanne that offers much to reflect upon. If we are living in a way that is in connection with ourselves, then all of what we do is “normal”. When living this way, we are truly listening to ourselves. How could we do anything that would be not “normal” even if we had never done such a thing before? Once upon a time I had never taken the care I now do with my body. But even the first time that I stopped and changed the way I treated myself, this was so incredibly normal for me.
Great blog Suzanne. The new ‘normal’ needs to be based on Truth and Love, and not something that people can use to protect them from not taking responsibility for their choices.
Where do these pictures of what is ‘normal’ come from? Actual personal life experience or judgements and hearsay from others or groups? For example I like to sit in the shower rather than trying to pretend I am a flamingo while washing each foot. This is ‘normal’ for me because this is what I feel to do and I have no issue with this but I have gotten ‘that’s odd’ comment before and thus (until now) was not a behaviour I would openly claim to do. What is the attraction towards being in a group? What is wrong with claiming and not holding back our feelings and true behaviours as they are?
there is definitely an avoiding in responsibility in living that which is true in the things that are considered normal, no one will call it out so there is nothing to take responsibility for. And I totally agree that there is a big opportunity to feel what is true for me and consider that normal.
The way you express truth Suzanne is an example for what the world should take on as normal. Thank you for this great sharing.
Agree Diana, what you share here so joyfully Suzanne is how normal and natural it is to stand up and shine, and call out what is true.and say ‘hey! Do you really want to settle for something less than what is true as normal?”
Standing up like this should be the most normal thing in the world.
Well said Katerina, calling out what is true should be the most normal thing in the world.
I agree diana1975 – what Suzanne has shared is incredibly powerful.
Wonderful blog, Suzanne. My normal of today is very different to my normal of five years ago. What each of us accepts as normal is someone else’s abnormal. Just because we see behaviours out on the street that are harmful, is this normal? Yet we seem to accept it as such. It is like the acceptance that people are getting fatter, so the goal posts have been changed, in order to make a fatter person on a graph today appear less obese. So is obesity ( and other behaviours and addictions) becoming a new normal for some?
Thank you Suzanne for sharing. It is something I often consider and have considered ‘what is normal?’, after all most of my life I have tried to fit in and be normal. But this fitting in and being normal has been contra to what I have felt on the inside, it is the normal set from the outside, set by society – they way I should look, speak, dress, act, etc.. But what if, as this blog has raised, what if none of that was actually normal and what is normal is how is was feeling from the inside before I looked outward and tried to fit in. What if I was already being normal before I tried to be normal?!
It’s interesting James as I was reading your comment I thought…and who determines what normal is? It’s like it becomes a collection of our own experiences that we calibrate to try and work out the world.
I would add Jennifer that what is ‘normal’ is a collection of our own experiences in relation to others in the world and how they respond or react to us. And what is ‘normal’ becomes what is accepted and acceptable to others, rather than what is actually true.
I love this Suzanne, thank you. I know how often I used the excuse of ‘it’s normal’ either in my head or out loud to justify a behaviour that I knew wasn’t quite right, but I could ‘get away’ with it because so many others did. For example binge drinking as a teenager was seriously self-abusive, and even though a loud part of me did NOT want to do it – the ‘normal’ still had a say.
It’s such a great point you make ‘But who ever said ‘normal’ was what actually serves us, is what is true for us, or is even what is good for us?’ If what is ‘normal’ in society is truly serving us – we would have a completely different world – not one that is struggling on so many levels and with increasing illness and disease. Perhaps it is what we currently consider ‘normal’ that is making us sick and keeping us from the true normal we all deserve.
Well said Kylie, we shrug our shoulders and dismiss ourselves in saying ‘oh well, that behaviour is normal’. ‘Who am I to change this “normal”?’ That would mean I’m not normal — that I would stand out like a sore thumb!’ So normal in its current accepted definition is to blend in, go with the collective trend regardless whether this trend is truly beneficial or not. It’s about playing it safe and staying under the radar. In doing so, we condone abusive behaviour passing on the message that it is normal to more and more of us, when it is anything but truly normal. It is a lesser way of being that we’ve settled for.
I love how you have taken the time to define or redefine normal. The dictionary definition of usual, typical or expected, took me a little by surprise as I would consider what is normal for me now was not what was normal for me 2 years ago. Changing the norm in my life has meant an incredible increase in the quality of my vitality, health and relationships. My kids are always lamenting that they wish we were normal and I remember saying the same to my parents. My life does not fit in with what the statistics would consider typical or normal or average.
So common for kids to not want to stand out nicolesjardin, hence saying they wish they were ‘normal’. What if we asked kids to define what normal actually is, perhaps tonight’s dinner table conversation…
I agree Suzanne it would be more accurate to replace the word normal with majority or familiar.
Absolutely Abby. It’s interesting that for the most part the world’s ‘majority of familiar’ is actually quite an abusive way of living. It is modalities like the Esoteric Breast Massage that completely turn this on its head and re-introduce nurturing as our normal and most familiar way of being.
Wow Suzanne – love this blog! Everybody needs to read this.. We have lost our way on what normal is and how you have explained it. This also exposes our lack of responsibility in honouring ourselves – “being normal”. I personally felt this today at work where I was not being honest with my work colleagues. Things got out of hand suddenly and I was the centre of blame. What I learnt was I was not being the normal me (like I am at home and with my friends) and speaking what I felt in the office. Only until I was honest there was understanding and a sense of harmony again. The conversation before that was “not normal” and not really needed. It created tension and drama. Normal for me is expressing and not holding back the best way I can.
Rik I love how you said that you weren’t being the normal you at work, recognising that you were not yourself. Maybe this is how we approach what is normal? Because really how can we determine that for anyone else.
Suzanne your article really calls for true action and a true normal.
I remember there was a time when I TRIED VERY HARD NOT TO BE NORMAL and now like you Suzanne I am living the new normal. Making it normal to love ourselves deeply and others the same. Making true family normal and nurturing one self normal. Making living love normal and power and glory normal. This is the true normal 🙂
Simone, your comment makes a great magnet! Perhaps we could move on from the quip, “Keep Calm and Carry On” and have it now say, “I Love Myself Deeply and This Is The New Normal” or “Living Love is The New Normal” !!
What it also highlights is the extent we have an issue with our bodies, and sexualising parts of them. That getting a massage or treatment for your breasts could by many be seen as not normal. Why if there is tension or disconnection etc held in any part of our body, would we not seek to get support and care for it. I know for one I can hold as much tension across my chest, and disconnection from my breasts as I do in say my shoulders or my back. People would not hesitate to see a practitioner for a sore back, so why if we feel something is not in harmony with our breasts, not get support? Given that breast cancer is on the rise with around 50,000 new diagnosis’s every year in the UK alone – is this not in itself a sign that there is something very huge and out of harmony in our relationships with our breasts?
Absolutely gylrae. I am encouraging my young child to not see any part of her body as less than any other; there are no ‘unmentionables’ of the body. In this way, I hope there will be no parts of the body that are forgotten or dismissed, when in fact, the body can only operate as one whole being. Thank you for highlighting this so clearly.
Hear, hear Gyl…love the honesty and realness you bring to this topic – something seriously worth considering by all.
This is a great point gylrae, the extent with which we have sexualised parts of our bodies and also the lack of acceptance of them.
Developing a relationship with our breasts is a beautiful way to re-connect to the deeper care and nurturing that will truly support our bodies. Esoteric Breast Massage as Suzanne has shared is an exquisite support and truly self-loving offering clarity and wisdom.
Very well said Suzanne, what is in fact normal, for me this word conjures up accepting so called normal ‘drinking alcohol, going to the pub on a saturday night, eating sweet foods, family fights, pushing through the day, not taking deep care of our bodies, only looking after ourselves when we are really ill etc ‘ – as a way of accepting less, not taking responsibility for what we deeply know within our bodies is not okay. It’s a way to cruise and ignore the truth. if I just go along with everyone else I don’t have to stand out, feel the truth or feel all the unloving and abusive choices I and others make. Indeed what if normal was to deeply love, take care for and cherish ourselves, to live a life full of joy and vitality, to have harmonious and joyful relationships, and to listen to our bodies. Boy oh boy, if this was accepted by all as normal then the abuse we choose for ourselves and impose on others would stick out like a sore thumb immediately. People would be accountable for any kind of disharmony.
Beautifully put gylrae, “…It’s a way to cruise and ignore the truth. if I just go along with everyone else I don’t have to stand out…”
If it’s standing out that is the problem, one will only have to ‘stand out’ for a short while before everyone else catches on to the new way and we will then all walk together! But if there’s no one willing to stand out, I think we have a problem.
My daughter had her 6th birthday party on the weekend and we provided very healthy snacks on the food table, not at all what you would see at a ‘normal’ children’s birthday party. The adults were so surprised and appreciated that we did things a bit differently. One of the mums told me the next day that her mum was waiting for them to come home from the party and had expected that the child would come home all racy and ‘climbing’ the walls as that was ‘normal’ for children to come home from a party that way. We were so thrilled that she got to see another way.
How awesome Heidi. What you have shown here is that it is easy to create a new normal way of behaving; one that people actually love to see and will get behind it.
How simple and practical it can be to present new ‘normals’. Thank you, Heidi.
Thank you Suzanne for exposing that what we deem is normal in our society is actually quite abnormal when we think about it, with what we are doing. The examples you have given about what we deem is ‘usual’, ‘typical’ or ‘expected’ have been a real eye opener. What are we accepting as a way of being? I appreciate Universal Medicine for presenting that there is another way.
Yes, it is a great idea to require ‘normal’ to also be harmonious, true and possibly even loving. Otherwise it should not be ‘normal’.
Yes! The ruling for normal needs to change .. and I fully support the work of Esoteric Breast Massage as a modality as it is the most honouring and supporting thing in the world.
Here here Natasha! To honour and to support is what needs to be normal.
Honouring and Supporing and truly cherishing the body that we walk around in everyday. The thing thats goes everywhere with us. People say that cigarettes are people best friend because they can take them anywhere but our bodies are the things that are with us all the time, day and night, moment to moment. We should treat each of our bodies with the utmost beauty and respect. EBM are one of the most honouring modalities that really support and encourage this.
The standard of life and what is considered normal in so many parts of life has slipped dramatically. It wasn’t until I met Serge Benhayon that I realised my marker of normal was so wrong on every level in pretty much every aspect of my life, including work, study, relationships, family, money, charity, exercise and so on and so on. I am deeply appreciative of being shown how to connect to my true normal, which is actually very natural.
I love your expose of what society thinks is normal, it is so true and kind of shocking. Awesome to highlight it, and get us all to think.. What is normal? I totally agree, It is time for a New Normal.
It seems at times that ‘normal’ has become a swear word, a casual term that divides one set of people from another, the ‘normal’ from the ‘unusual’ or ‘abnormal’, when all it signifies is a large enough number of people doing or accepting the same thing, regardless of whether this thing is true or not true. And thus, it is now normal to do pornography, swear, go to war, be very overweight, have diabetes, binge drink etc etc. It really doesn’t make any sense at all.
Really there is no such thing as ‘normal’. It is all relative to what is accepted by the most amount of people.
I love this Suzanne. The word ‘normal’ has always irked me. I remember feeling this as a child and getting frustrated always asking ‘Who’s normal is it?’ ‘Who makes up what normal is?’ I love your definition, where normal is marked by an inner knowing of what is true and encompasses the all.
Normal. You have posed some excellent points in this blog, Suzanne. I have been feeling that my normal has certainly changed dramatically since I began listening to the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom that Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine share. My normal used to be panic, anxiety, keeping people at a distance because I didn’t trust myself to be able to handle letting people get close to me, ignoring my body and generally being in existence and survival mode. Nowadays my normal has changed dramatically to going about my day with a loveliness about me, feeling settled within me, taking loving care of myself by what I feed myself and my sleeping patterns, along with being able to let people get close to me and enjoying sharing my life and my space with people, by trusting myself which builds stronger and stronger every day.
Suzanne, you are so right in the fact that normal is a very personal experience and cannot be measured from one person to another. Thank you for sharing this most important blog that allows us all to explore what ‘normal’ really is or could be within our society.
Turning on it’s head what is normal or the perceived normal. This shake up has been needed for sometime now so thank you Suzanne for expressing it so.
“Is it not time to develop a new normal? A true definition of what is normal?” Very inspiring to read Suzanne!
‘Normal’ has a lot to answer for Suzanne! Or is it us, people who have accepted whatever normal is as normal that have all the answering to do … I think the latter!
Maybe what’s normal are all the things we don’t really like but ultimately couldn’t be bothered changing … Coz there’s a lot of normal things in this world that sure ain’t natural.
Its funny what we accept as normal and will try so hard to fit into the normal category so that we don’t stand out or appear peculiar. For me now, my comfort and what self loving choices I need to make for myself, far outweighs what another might say or think.
The definition of normal to me is “acceptable”. There are many behaviours that were once not acceptable that now are and hence they become “normal”. I look forward to the day when Esoteric Breast Massage becomes normal too!
Very awesome topic for consideration, yes what is normal? A lot of ‘normal’ behaviour is actually, in truth very abnormal and the funny thing is we all actually know this! It is normal to be deeply loving with our fellow brothers and sisters, and to deeply love ourselves without reservation. The time has come for us to get back to being normal again.
Suzanne this is brilliant… and applies to so many aspects of life. In the last 10 years of paying more attention to the state of people’s lives and health, it has become normal to accept relationships that are decidedly unsatisfying and disharmonious, health that is so far from vital and truly well that pretty much the only condition that precludes an expression of ‘I am healthy’ is if one has Cancer, and the way in which we run our lives in general, in constant stress and push to get things done, have all become ‘normal’. As you so aptly point out, these are only considered normal because they have become typical. At this rate, another 20 years along, and the only criteria for calling ourselves ‘healthy’ will be that we are breathing!
We are most definitely in need of a new normal!!
Thank you Suzanne, it is true how so many ways of behaving and living have been accepted as ‘normal’ even though these ways are hurting our bodies, relationships and health and well being. With illness and disease rates, depression, suicide and relationship issues all rising it does bring questions as to what we should be accepting as normal. However reading this allowed me to stop and appreciate how more and more in life, with the teachings of the Ageless Wisdom, I am learning to live in a way that feels natural to me so therefore what feels natural as in the time I sleep and rise, what I eat, how I use my time and more all seems natural and normal and though these choices may not fit in with how many others live I know and can feel in myself that I am living in a less abusive way towards myself and others as any abuse is most definitely not ‘normal’.
Suzanne, what a great thought-provoking and inspiring writing about ‘normal’ and whether these ideals and beliefs truly serve our well-being or not. As I have made more self loving choices for myself through more body awareness, that which is ‘new normal’ is more opening me to another depth and quality in my daily life which I could have only dreamed of before attending Serge Benhayon’s presentations.
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”
Normal is our fellow human beings saying to us: “this is how you avoid jealousy”.
Wow Suzanne my head is spinning (in a good way) with the great discussion here; I love how you propose that Normal For Us is the new black (or orange or whatever it is these days), and the subsequent feeling of empowerment that comes from this – let’s go girl!
“What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?”
Definitely agree with you Suzanne- it’s time to claim what feels right in our body as normal and not feel compelled to follow the status quo so as to not stand out or be challenged.
Great points about the need for a new definition of normal! We have to redefine normal not as something everybody does regardless of its harm that it is doing, but as something that actually serves us in our evolution as a human race. Normal can only be what brings us true wellbeing and unites us, never something that separates us.
This is great Rachel, true normal would only ever unite us. Anything other than that goes against our true nature.
I loved the way you have written this piece Suzanne as it presented so clearly the way we currently define normal and how limiting this can be. Choosing to live from our truth and “What is Normal For Us needs to become the new normal, regardless of whether we’re the only ones doing it and whether it is typical or expected behaviour.” Now this is the kind of normal I choose to be living!
Normal has to come from your own body, not from anyone telling you what is or is not normal. I would also put out there that normal is an ever shifting terrain which we have the opportunity to develop as we so choose.
Love what you have written Suzanne, it reminds me of how in a naturopathic clinic session I have many clients who say that they have been told that their blood tests show that everything is ‘normal’ but they don’t feel normal and what is normal for them is to feel vital rather than lethargic.
In clinic I have many female clients who say they have sore lumpy or tender breasts but they thought that it was just ‘normal’. Wow, how can painful or lumpy breasts be normal just because it is a common complaint and that they were told that the lumps were nothing to worry about and that it is a ‘normal’ part of hormone shifts. What many consider to be normal is just plain NOT normal at all.
Normal to many can be what the majority of people have, just like for many it is normal to have high blood pressure or diabetes, because so many these days have it.
But in reference to the EBM’s, I know for myself that I always thought that my breasts were ‘normal’ as I have never had any breast tenderness or lumps, but when allowed to feel the depth of tenderness of an esoteric breast massage, I can also feel that at times, my breasts don’t feel ‘normal’ as I have been holding the energy of supporting and nurturing others but not so much myself.
With the loving support of the session, I have come to realise for myself that my breasts are not just something to wash in the morning, feed my children when they are babies or just there to be fondled during love making, but they are also MY breasts to love and nurture like the rest of my body and life. I can now feel how lovely it is to wash my breasts delicately and lovingly and then followed by loving moisturisation to every part of my body not just my breasts. From the EBM sessions, I have come to realise that it is NORMAL to love all of me with tenderness and love.
Suzanne what a great way to present normal. Normal not based on what everyone else is doing but based on what is normal for me. Made me ponder, it is not normal for me to drink even though it is normal for most, it is not normal for me to stay up to midnight, even though it is normal for many, it is not normal for me to participate in online gaming, even though is is normal for most. So am I abnormal because I don’t do any of these things. Nope I am just being my normal self. Thank you Suzanne for another great piece of writing.
I find it interesting and very powerful that you use the example of a fist fight outside a pub, you could also add to this self harming, and cyber abuse, these have become normal and would be deemed less controversial than the EBM therapy you describe. Our biggest issues in society is standing by and allowing that which is normal but actually harming to be so accepted. Our acceptance gauge has to change if we are to make our societies a place where we can all feel safe and respected, we are a long way from this place at the moment.
Normal is a very interesting word, one that can divide people and make so many feel unhappy with themselves. So much of our lives are spent trying to be normal, to appear like everyone else – don’t do or say that, do this or say this instead. Drink this, eat that, dress like this and you will be ‘normal’. But how much of ourselves do we need to leave behind to fit ourselves into the perimeters of normal, and who was it that decided them?
Just because something is common place, familiar and perhaps even comfortable – doesn’t make it normal. But I guess that all depends on where one sets the standard at … we need to set the standard at vital, joy filled, loving, harmonious and true, and then check how much of what we mostly consider normal fits – not much of it by my reckoning.
Thank you Suzanne for this thought-provoking blog. I resonated with what you said and especially when you said what is considered normal can also be quite shocking! Yes and ‘normal’ changes over time, what we have got used to today, for example with regard to the semi-pornographic and outright pornographic content freely available through TV and other media outlets, would have been considered shocking in the early sixties and earlier. ‘Normal’ can often be what we have become numb to.
I make a lot of choices in my life that, by others, are not seen as normal. Over the years I have learned that if something feels true to me, regardless if this is not seen as normal, that I make the choice anyway. My body is the only one that can tell me honestly what feels true or not, it is not busy with the normality of things.
Your new description for normal jumped out to me as true Suzanne, “What if what is truly normal is what we quietly (or sometimes, actually very loudly) feel inside ourselves that feels right, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings?” I’ve often been met with ‘ your behaviour is not normal’. and I’ve replied that it’s normal for me because It’s what I do consistently on a daily basis.
A lovely account of what is ‘normal’, or ‘not normal’, Suzanne. Growing up, as kids, we would ask our parents to be allowed to do something “because everyone else did”. Just because “everyone else” did something, doesn’t make it true, healthy, wise or smart. Rather the opposite most of the times. Usual, typical or expected doesn’t mean true, and I’d rather aspire to true to me than to everyone else’s thought of normal. It’s definitely time to develop a new normal, Suzanne!
The Esoteric Breast Massage has been my normal for as long as it has been around – six years, maybe? Like Suzanne, I find it exquisitely supportive and increasingly, reflective of my gorgeousness as a woman. Making this aspect of it normal has been the real challenge (being OK with a female practitioner touching my breast was the much easier part) and is, I suspect, what really gets under the skins of those who object to it. What it says and offers is a reflection that is too much for most to bear. It’s easier to denigrate it than wrestle with the truth of how we really feel about ourselves.
Agree Victoria. The number of ill-behaviours and anti-social activities that are now considered ‘normal’ is alarming to say the least. It is definitely time to redefine what is ‘normal’ or rather what is ‘natural’ once emotions, ideals and beliefs have been discarded…
‘Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?’ The answer to this great question Suzanne must be yes, yes and yes! For a long time we normalised domestic violence, and in some cultures it is still ‘the norm’. But I suspect every human, perpetrators included, knows the truth of the matter deep down. And so it is with everything we do that harms us or others but attempt to shrug off.
I would add to this Victoria that we use the so called ‘normal’ to stay comfortable. Nothing gets challenged just like you say even domestic violence is considered normal. Hello, this is so not how we are to be with each other.
This is a very powerful question, ‘are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?’ We can use what is normal to define what is an allowable way of living and therefore hold back or hide away the absolute beauty, joy and natural wisdom that we are and for so many different reasons. To step outside of what is the perceived normal can mean stepping out to be a moderated version of oneself and this to me isn’t normal.
Great point Victoria. So much of how we live is now regarded as ‘normal’ that we fail to see the significance of the choices we are making, just because it’s what everyone else does.
I agree Victoria, every time I hear the word ‘normal’ it tells me that it is time to look a bit deeper, ask more questions, feel what’s really going on. I hear it a lot in the doctor’s surgery, how its normal to have x, y and z, its a normal part of growing old or being a woman. Rather than look at something that is becoming common place and asking what is happening here, we shrug our shoulders and say its okay, because this seems to be happening to everyone else too. ‘Normal’ is numbing us to the truth, so it is most definitely time to establish a new ‘normal’, a normal that keeps us well, vital, alive and aware, so we can challenge what is common place and dismantle what clearly does not work for us.
There is a beauty in the philosophical way that you write Suzanne. Thank you for this offering , as it would be great if writings like these that challenge the status quo became the new normal for us all.
It is great that you have brought this topic up, Suzanne, as I have also considered what a member of the public would think of the EBM modality out of context. The EBM has had to break through to become the new normal because it is so vitally important that women have access to it – to heal the hardness, contraction, judgement, protection etc that we carry in our breasts that prevent us from emanating the warmth and love that we naturally have.
Beautiful Janet as we are here to be so much more than what is considered normal. ‘Within the woman is the rhythm of life.
She, being who she really is, holds the key to the world’s balance.’ ~ Serge Benhayon
Janet, I agree with what you say, that EBM should be considered as normal. From my own experience and the testimonial of hundreds of women, this healing modality is vitally important to a woman’s health.
It feels to me the ‘new normal’ has already been grounded in so many ways; that is so many thousands of people from around the world are choosing to commit to a life of ‘simplicity’, through self-care and self-appreciation…. which then thousands more (families and friends, colleagues) get this reflection and permission to choose also this new way of living….
That is a great awareness you raise here Jacqueline, and also the appreciation for all the people who are living and grounding a ‘new normal’ of living a loving and simple life.
As you express, Suzanne, ‘normal’ becomes whenever or whatever is practiced by a mass of people even if that ‘normal’ is actually harmful. By doing so all sorts of inappropriate behaviour, if not accepted or condoned, is allowed and is no longer generally disapproved off. It is time to no longer stay silent but to stand up and express that what in truth is normal is fact that which is enhancing, nurturing and loving.
Well said Jonathan, this is exactly what we all need to do.
Exactly Jonathan.
Normal is such a subjective word that means very different things to different people and cultures, yet it is used many times to accept or reject people based on this artificially created subjective even biased standard of behaviour. What if instead there was a natural innate way of being and living that is the same for everyone and would actually unite humanity, not divide it?
That is such a great point andrewmooney26 – the made up versions of normal have definitely been used to separate us – separate us from ourselves by creating an ideal that conflicts with what we innately know to be true and once we are no longer us, we can’t connect with the greater one: humanity and the universe.
Good point Simone. Not only do so called ‘norms’ separate us as one human family but they also lead us up the proverbial garden path and so separate us from our natural essence or way of being.
This is a very powerful article Suzanne and one that I can very much relate to as I become more and more aware of how we are worldwide and have allowed the most unacceptable behaviours to become normal and, sometimes worse, we actually champion them as being good. Take sport for example and more specifically rugby, here we have a sport that allows each other to very heavily physically hurt each other and in many cases cause major injuries and we see this as normal and worse we say that it is a great sport. This is just one example of what is taking place in the world and high-lights the absolute importance of claiming what we feel is normal or should be deemed as normal.
Good point Amina, who on earth decided sport could be normal? I can remember thinking as I was growing up – why is half the news on TV dedicated to sport? And why is sport mainly grown men fighting each other,? – As this is how it appeared to me as a child as everyone involved always looked so angry and were often yelling abuse at each other. Why is it normal when as you say so many have been seriously and permanently injured in the process? And Esoteric Breast Massage gets heavy press as it is considered not normal when it is extremely beneficial not only for the woman receiving it but also for every one who is in relationship with that woman.
There is the old saying that one person’s terrorist is someone else’s freedom fighter. Everyone has a different view on what is normal. Just because we get used to hearing about extreme behaviours being labelled as normal for a particular group we must never allow them to become normal – even for them. We have a responsibility to set the bar for what is normal and, as you say Suzanne, this has to be lived and expressed from within us and reflected out in all that we are, do and say.
Thank you Suzanne and this is a topic close to my heart too. I agree entirely, we look at the behaviour going on around us and say that it is ‘normal’ but in my view using that word is the biggest excuse going. We used to dismiss behaviour, actions and outcomes that we truly do not want to take responsibility for. Its normal to see a group of teenagers drunk in the streets in the early hours of Saturday morning. Its normal that they get into fights, end up in Accident and Emergency and cause a lot of disruption and harm, both to themselves and others. We shrug our shoulders and say its normal when we really should be saying “what is going on here that such gorgeous young people should be harming themselves like this, because this is not healthy or loving.” We have grown to accept a much lower standard of behaviour in our societies, in our homes and within ourselves, we say its normal because everyone is doing it. Where we use the word ‘normal’ should we be saying ‘common’? While it is common to get drunk, it is not a healthy and loving action towards ourselves. We most definitely need to establish a new normal, a normal where it is unheard of to consume any poison, out of the question to hit another person, yell or shout at them, quite un-thinkable to be anything else other than truly respectful to all we meet and that includes ourselves.
Great blog. I feel the word normal has been misused, it has been used to get away with things, even though we know things have not felt right. But because it’s been done or seen to be done a few times its normal. The word normal needs to be redefined like you say with what feels normal inside of one’s own body.
‘Gosh – everybody does it’ – that’s a good excuse isn’t it? But just because ‘everybody does it’, it is not right to do. We would not say it is ‘normal’ to kill or abuse people – even that is happening a lot in this world every second. So where is the difference?
I like how you pointed it out Suzanne: “Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” – it really looks like it, hey?
What if NORMAL would be defined as acting & living in full Integrity? This would provide an incentive.
I had a conversation with a friend today and was shocked at what she shared in relation to a sexual experience she had. In a nutshell she was abused or her comment was “we had 50 shades of grey sex” and even though she didn’t want to she did it anyway because 50 shades of grey is the new normal apparently for what is expected when having sex. How on earth is this anywhere near normal!
Yes, the definition for normal that we currently have seems to be more of a definition for ‘frequent’ or ‘popular’. These words seem to fit the definition rather than the word normal.
Yes robynjones11. It is seeming like we do things because it is popular of frequent behaviour, not because it is truly normal.
It does seem like it Sandra – most definitely. We use it when we want an excuse and as a seemingly easy way to not stand up for what we are actually feeling in our body. It seems such a crazy thing to do, but I know I still do this too. So why would we deny ourselves expressing our truth? Is it because we are scared of standing out? Because we don’t want to feel what others may think of us if we do stand for truth? Something for me to ponder on. Thank you Sandra!
Yes absolutely Sandra, it would seem that we need to be able to redefine normal completely, as the potential of our human expression, and not what has become our often woefully lesser versions.
Beautifully said Jenny, making what’s normal actually be ‘…the potential of our human expression…’
This is one very strong and wonderful blog. Questioning the ‘norm’ is such an important issue to raise. Thank you.
This is very true!
Normal is a perceived idea that differs from person to person.
A ‘normal’ I’ve been playing with is how it feels in my body.
No really I mean it! it is a subtle feeling of whether something feels true or not. I’m still experimenting but it seems to be working.
I’ll give an example:
I had the opportunity to be a tutor, yet every part of me was telling me not to. Yet I had lots of signs making it very easy to enrol and be hired for the job.
I respected this feeling and enquired with past tutors. They gave me very strong feedback how they didn’t enjoy doing it for very valid reasons. I felt that my initial feeling was confirmed. This is but one example as this happens to me daily and more often or not there is a event confirming whether I made the right decision or not.
I can so relate to this Luke. I am experimenting with exactly the same thing. If I have to make a choice I ask myself: ‘How does it feel in my body?’, and I am starting to adhere to these feelings and like you, it always makes sense in the end. Before I would go over all pros and cons in my head but would be doubting for ages and feeling like I really did not know what was true. Now with learning to listen to my body I do know what is true. Making this my normal is a great idea.
It really makes life so much simpler. I will look forward to continue to develop this aspect of my life with great joy.
Absolutely so much simpler. I too love developing this aspect and quality in myself, it is just what I was looking for – a marker of what is true and what is not.
Love what you are sharing here Suzanne. I recently attended a Garden Fete and on approaching the tea stall I asked if they had a herbal tea and the answer was ‘yes’ and then the next person served asked for a normal tea. I realised that for me herbal tea was normal and for the other person tea with milk was normal. We were both in ‘our normal’ but very different within it so this again shows how normal cannot really be defined as a general comment for all. In this instance I felt as though I was the not normal person as I was in the minority of the herbal tea drinkers but it could easily have been the other way around.
It used to be that staying out late and drinking alcohol was my normal, but now my normal is a herbal tea and early night, so normal has had many faces within my own life too. Interesting?
Hi Suzanne, I love this blog and the new normal! Being Amazing is the new normal, choosing a diet which supports my body is the new normal and no more excuses for doing something everyone does and considers normal when it simply isn’t healthy! Thank you
Suzanne an absolute corker sharing.
I definitely have never lived what is considered normal so am very open to considering a new normal that comes from what we feel not what we all are going along with.
“…what we are all going along with.” This feels like a more accurate description or definition of normal. Even though just because the majority may be doing it does not make it normal! We really have got things upside down in our society when it comes to understanding what normal really is. And this is part of what this thought provoking blog brings to us.
Yes – that’s a more realistic definition of normal, Sharon – “what we are all going along with.” It encapsulates how we just do it because its there, with little, or no, forethought, critical analysis, or even honesty, actually.
This is a good phrase Sharon, “…what we are all going along with”. Would we jump off a bridge if someone else did it first? Depends how high the bridge is, you might say. SO this then proves that there is a feeling that is felt first, before the activity is performed, as to whether jumping is right for you or not. There is a height of the bridge that makes it feel okay to take the jump, and that height will be different for everyone. What if for every single choice we considered first how we felt about it, ie how high is that particular ‘bridge’, and then made a choice as to how we would proceed. This could be the new normal, not whether we jumped or not.
This is an awesome blog Suzanne, and the way you describe with real examples what ‘normal’ is : “What we do because we are told it is ‘normal’ can be quite shocking. It is normal to see a fist fight outside a pub at midnight. It is typical to drink alcohol every day of the week. It is expected for many Muslim women to wear a veil over their face. It is normal to see men and or women sleeping around; it is typical for people to expect the doctor to always be able to fix their medical problems; it is expected that mothers put their children first, before themselves. And it is definitely not normal to express how amazing we are.” When reading it like this, none of it makes sense, does it. Lets all become really ‘abnormal’ and express daily how amazing we all are!
This is brilliant Suzanne so clear concise and very real. The world and what is normal definitely needs to be readdressed from the comfort of acceptance of what normal really is.We have definitely become very accepting of things that are not loving for us by others doing it and therefore it is ok and accepted and this really needs to change as your examples speak loudly of.I love the knowing that we can create the new normal for ourselves and claim it for how it feels inside, feels true and is evolutionary in our growth as human beings. The new normal is definitely being readdressed for mankind with the inspiration from Serge Benhayon, his family and Universal Medicine.
Well said tricianicholson, “…The new normal is definitely being readdressed for mankind with the inspiration from Serge Benhayon, his family and Universal Medicine.”
Thank you Suzanne, what I most love about this blog is that perhaps there are many many people all over the world who conform to what is expected of them but still do not feel normal in doing it. That there is still always something inside that feels different. Personally, for me that extra something inside is the truth of who I am, learning to be expressed regardless of what is expected of me. And it feels liberating but not in a reactive way, just simple and all inclusive because I know that everyone has the same inner spark waiting to be let out.
I suspect you’re quite right Shami, that there are many people conforming even though it doesn’t feel right for them. Why would this be such common practice I wonder? What is it about conforming even when it’s not what we want to do?
A great article Suzanne. As a young woman growing up everyone around me, me included were drinking huge amounts of alcohol, so much so that we would usually end up barely able to stand or communicate at the end of a night out and feel awful the next day or two, this was our ‘normal’ because everyone seemed to be doing it, this really does not feel normal to me now, now my ‘normal’ is taking care of myself, going to bed when I’m tired, eating foods that nourish me and saying no if something does not feel right, I love my new ‘normal’ and feel so much more well as a result.
That’s the amazing thing! our normal changes and evolves ALL of the time. What if evolution was normal? and what if that meant having a relationship with an ever evolving way of living, one not restricted by the ideals and beliefs of others, society or how we have previously thought things should be. I love my new ‘normal’ in every moment that it presents!
Rebecca I love that you have pointed out that our normal changes as we change. When I was young it was very ‘normal’ to smoke pot every single day. It was not uncommon to wake yourself up in the middle of the night to have a bong…. just to make sure we did not sober up in our sleep. Another normal practice was to drain the black tar out of the bong, dry it off and re-smoke it.Only when we couldn’t our hands on any more weed but normal.
When I recall this I could be talking about a different person, it honestly disgusts me but everyone in my high school did that and in fact in all the neighbouring public schools too. It was a full-time occupation getting stoned and staying stoned. I can’t even stand the smell of cigarette smoke now, it makes me sick. I love the fact I have changed so dramatically thanks to Universal Medicine and my ‘normal’ has changed along with it.
Suzanne great question and declaration, it is certainly time for a new normal. What I can see with normal is how it keeps us trapped, keeps us living or doing things in a certain way because they are normal even if its harmful. We don’t get challenged if we live the “normal” life and do “normal” things. Yet in some parts of the world daily Gun fighting is normal. People being killed is “normal” or eating food that is known to kill us is “normal”. We all know this yet because its “normal” we allow it to continue. However as you’ve shared if we set a new meaning and level of what normal is then perhaps we can start to truly change.
Hi Suzanne – I love what you are sharing here in terms of what we have come to accept as normal. You are right that something socially acceptable does not mean it is OK. We have strayed so far from the integrity of our actions that if enough people are doing something that has no love in it – ie smoking, then we accept it in society. So here is to making self care as the new normal which I feel a big part of this is claiming it no matter what. .
Well said Suzanne. I know that my ‘normal’ is definitely not the usual ‘normal’ for most people. I have tried to fit in for years by denying this and pretending that my normal is the same as everyone else’s normal. This has felt awful and it felt like I was living a lie. It feels amazing to finally claim what my ‘normal’ is without shame or embarrassment, just simply sharing what is true and normal for me. I have been surprised that if I express and claim this as factual without the expectation that I will be rejected or ridiculed, people usually accept it and some actually feel inspired.
From a young age I was called “weird,” because I chose to do things differently and live the way I felt too. But now I feel a lot more comfortable in how I choose to live and I am not embarrassed to live this way because honestly it feels amazing and when you feel amazing it shows and others do notice and will ask questions. I’m happy to share how I live and inspire others. I appreciate and love my so called “weirdness,” as my true normal.
About ten or so years ago, a new style of teen came about, called Emos (short for emotional I think). The style was for teenagers to wear all black or purple, lots of thick makeup, chunky shoes, interesting hair dos etc. I think this might have been called the ‘gothic look’ when I was a teen. Anyway, it kind of just appeared out of nowhere and many people followed this trend. It didn’t take too long for Emos to be normal, accepted.
My point is that humans are quite able to accept weird trends, quite quickly too, and see nothing wrong with it. So if it’s so easy to start a new normal way of being, then there is the real possibility that normalising self love can happen too.
I agree Rebecca Turner I have tried and been successful, to fit in everywhere I saw was “it” at the time. How ignorant and naive I was too actually accepting being me. Like you said Rebecca when you do fully commit to you life is easier and more gentler because you are in control.
It’s so true Suzanne that we often accept what is familiar or known to many as the ‘norm’ however this does not automatically mean that it is true or even right for us as individuals. When evaluating some of my beliefs that I have accepted as society’s normal I have found that maybe that they really do not hold true for me any more and are at my or another’s expense.
“It’s so true Suzanne that we often accept what is familiar or known to many as the ‘norm’ however this does not automatically mean that it is true or even right for us as individuals.” Great point, Jenny.
Great point Jenny, taking the concepts that Suzanne’s blog has exposed around the concept ‘normal’ and applying them practically to your own personal experiences is an awesome tip, I might do the same.
Modalities such as the Esoteric Breast Massage, may be little know or practiced currently but if the women attending these sessions are seen to be taking greater responsibility for their wellbeing with the support of a massage, that helps foster a deeper relationship with self nurturing. In a world that estimates another 60,290 new cases of breast cancer in 2015, it would be wise indeed for this to become a new normal.
‘the outcome of every single Esoteric Breast Massage I have ever had has always been exquisitely supportive and has felt like I was giving myself the gift of clarity and wisdom’ I can honestly say this is my experience also. At my first EBM I felt a little apprehensive as I had never experienced anything like this at all. But with the care of a very professional, respectful EPA registered Esoteric Practitioner, it opened up a whole new level of healing for me and as you say – ‘the gift of clarity and wisdom’, from within myself.
EBMs certainly may not be seen as normal, but that does not mean that they aren’t deeply healing. In fact if they became normal, the relationship that women had with their bodies would transform the appalling norm of self loathing and lack of self worth that women currently live with into a normal actually worth aspiring to have.
We live in a world that bases everything around what is normal and what is not normal and if someone steps away from ‘normal’ it is noticed and often ridiculed. I go to a meeting once a month and the building we sit in is old and not very warm and the chairs are metal and uncomfortable and cold, so I take a cushion to sit on. Every time I take it there is a comment by almost everyone making fun of my cushion because I am doing something that no one else does, so I am seen as not being normal. There was a time in my life when I would have stopped taking the cushion feeling I was out of place and not conforming to what others wanted, now being warm is way more important to me than any comment that is trying to say I am not normal.
I do that too Alison. I have a cushion on my chair at work and if I am cold I have a blanket on my knees, and I have had the fun taken out of me for wearing my fingerless gloves whilst typing to keep my hands warm. At the end of the day if we don’t show the world what ‘self love’ is, they’re not going to get it.
The word ‘normal’ implies something that is common practice, widely accepted…but doesn’t it show that this word needs redefinition or reuse, if Friday night fisticuffs outside the pub are ‘normal’.
What ‘normal’ really should be described as is complacency. As a society we have accepted so much that is harmful to us as normal, personally and as a group, because we have been complacent in how we have felt about certain behaviours as well as how we treat each other. It really is time for a new normal. One filled with Truth, Love & Brotherhood.
Complacency is a great word, for it has allowed the parameters of normal to not be challenged regardless of how harmful that behaviour may be.
So true Samantha, complacency is a great word, as it exposes the lack of commitment we have had as a society, and personally, to truly addressing what we need to address in so many areas of life.
The trouble is that everyone has their own definition of ‘normal’. My ‘normal’ is to go to bed early, get up early, eat foods that nourish me and that are good for my body, take care of myself, speak truth and express in a way that is loving. I’m not perfect but to me, this IS the ‘normal’ way to be and why would I choose to conform to what is ‘perceived’ to be ‘normal’ when the ‘normal’ doesn’t appear to be making the world happy, joyful or harmonious.
Thanks for your amazing blog Suzanne. There are so many things in your blog to ponder on. The “normal” from yesterday doesn’t have to be the “normal” of today – I can always refine my food patterns, my work patterns, how I walk, talk, my rhythm and so on…
Great point Alex this certainly has everything changing on a daily basis.
Beautifully said Alexander. What is normal for me today needn’t be normal for me next week if I choose to refine how I live to best support me where I’m at.
Yes that is one of the (many) things I have loved connecting to as a student of Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine. That ‘normal’ can change every day. What I did/ate yesterday may not my way forward the next day. This concept gives us great freedom to live each day as is needed as opposed to what is normal.
Suzanne your blog makes me want to stand up and applaud! I have been pondering on ‘what is normal and why is it so’ since my early teenage years and I came to the conclusion that normal basically is the best excuse in the world to live irresponsibly. I have always been amazed at how much abuse, ignorance, disregard and separation we have allowed under the guise of ‘it’s normal’ or ‘this is how it has always been’. It has seemed to me that normal is nothing more than an agreement between a large group of people to not take away each others excuse to not think for themselves, to not honestly and responsibly discern their choices and to never simply stop and think twice about what it is they are doing or saying.
Yes! it is time for a new normal and I wholeheartedly agree that the new normal should be about what our body and our hearts are communicating.
‘the new normal should be about what our body and our hearts are communicating.’, I agree, and since it appears that we all have our own sense of what normal is, individually or in groups, it makes sense that we can if we want, make this our new normal, who knows, others might want to join in. I’m in!
I’m in too Lisa 🙂
Well said Carolien. Being normal is an excuse. Everything we do there is a “normal way” to do it or it has somewhere being “accepted” by the larger group. If you do not follow this norm you stand out and expose everybody’s else’s irresponsible choice for choosing that norm. Is that why we choose the accepted norm?
And there we have it, an ad to put on the back of cinema toilet doors (so to speak): Being Normal Is An Excuse.
Choosing to make decisions for yourself may mean you stand out from the crowd, but looking around me, is that really that bad?
Great comment Rik – it is absolutely an excuse to hide in the crowd not exposing anothers irresponsibility or even our own.
I can relate to what you share Carolien, normal has definitely felt like an agreement, a very subtle one, and certainly a very seclusive and divisive one as in my experience when you don’t feel part of that ‘norm’ you can feel very very different from others.
That is so true Joshua, it is a perfect set up as we all want love and want to belong so if we shunt people for not enjoining the normal we protect our ‘normal’ irresponsible ways. Not only do we create pressure to enjoin but if people are strong and choose their own way we can criticise and attack them for doing so.
And do so we do even if they are living something that may be True and Loving
Well said Carolien. It is an excuse to not take responsibility. For example, regularly getting drunk on a Friday night is, for many, considered normal. But the body does not consider this normal and will let you know what it has to say about it. All of this is overridden. The responsibility to oneself and to one’s body is ignored – still felt, but ignored. Normal? It’s a strange kind of normal to me. The body knows “normal” when it feels it.
Hear, hear, Carolien! ‘Normality’ is an easy shortcut in life. It is the word that we can go to so that we do not have to take responsibility for ourselves or the world we are a part of. This is an awesome blog which is shining a light upon the facets of our lives that we have decided no longer require attention, that no longer matter, because that part is considered done and dusted in the realm of ‘normal’.
The truth that we do not want to deal with is the fact that every part of our lives matters, there is no single tiny part that does not affect us in some way. By classifying any part of life under the banner of ‘normal’ we are effectively choosing to say ‘I do not care about how I choose to live my life’.
Well said Naren, I can feel this too the ‘done and dusted part’ so we do not have to put effort into considering and discerning if what we are handed down is actually love and truth. Its a big ouch to expose how this is not caring about life.
So beautifully put Naren, “…shining a light upon the facets of our lives that we have decided no longer require attention, that no longer matter, because that part is considered done and dusted in the realm of ‘normal’…” Thank you for continuing to shine a light with your wisdom here.
And to highlight:
The truth that we do not want to deal with is the fact that every part of our lives matters, there is no single tiny part that does not affect us in some way.
We wish this weren’t the case, but it is.
Good call Suzanne. What stood out for me in the dictionary definition of normal was the word ‘conforms.’ I am a non-confirmist, choosing to live only what is true for me. This is the new normal: taking gentle loving care of myself and all life, not responding to the dictates of wider society, not living a life of self neglect and disregard, but equal to all.
I agree, we use normal to excuse our behaviour and not having to look at what is really going on. With normalising everything we create many conditions that we then accept as normal and take this normal as a standard which then we have to live and deal with. But it keeps us small and makes us smaller by every new normal that we create bringing us further and further away from what normal most naturally is for us.
Great observation Suzanne. “Once behaviour is repeated, it easily achieves the ‘normal’ tag.” The presentations and teachings of Serge Benhayon inspire all of us to change our normal behaviour to being self-loving, compassionate, awaken the awareness of our innate sixth sense and to know what is true and what is not.
And I would imagine each one of us would want self-loving, compassionate and aware to be our consistent way if we all were ever asked. We have so much weird-normal that it makes it very difficult for all to see that it’s even possible.
This is awesome Suzanne. We’ve collectively as a human race accepted so much that is not loving as normal. We’ve accepted settling for so much less than we are and we deserve as a human race that is innately meant to live harmoniously. But that’s not regarded as normal — wars and conflicts are and tensions that rage. As you say it’s time to lay down a new normal.
Hi Suzanne, thank you for this blog. It is amazing how our ‘normal’ can change over time. I used to eat a Twix bar everyday for morning tea, that was normal for me, until my body went no, no more, that Twix bar feels yucky inside me now. I stopped then and there and never had another one again. I have many more ‘new normals’ and have found that it is usually my body that first alerts me to a time for change. This can be in many areas, not just food 🙂
What a great definition for the new normal. We have all started with it but we bought into the world’s ‘normal’ at some point and forgot that quiet little voice inside of us.
Somewhere I stopped listening to my quiet little voice inside too sjmatsonuk.
Considering what is considered normal in the UK, I have no aspirations to fit in and be normal. It actually makes me feel quite sad to consider what is normal here in the UK. I feel much more normal in myself when I live what is probably considered not normal -not drinking alcohol, being considerate about what I eat, going to bed early and waking up very early, basically actually looking after myself (and not just talking about it).
I’m just imagining what our society would be like if it was normal to look after ourselves and each other very deeply… what would normal health look like? -perhaps diabetes wouldn’t be through the roof? What would normal relationships look like? Maybe men & women would understand each other? There is so much normal that just doesn’t work or support anyone…
What you have written here Suzanne, defines an integral part to the religious way I and many others live, the Way of the Livingness. For in not blindly accepting what we are ‘told’ is normal, in feeling and constantly bringing awareness to all aspects of our lives and living ourselves, there can be no ‘fixed way’ – there is only an unfolding way of deepening connection with the true beauty of our divine essence, and learning how to honour this in our daily lives and the choices that we make.
So redefining ‘normal’ will redefine the word ‘religion’ as we know it currently.
Religion = The Way of the Livingness = feeling for ourselves what we need = The new Normal
I like that 🙂
That’s it for me Suzanne. The Way of the Livingness is at once a deeply personal and all-encompassing way of living, in which there is no ‘fixed point’ of ‘normal’ – for in honouring such a depth of connection with ourselves and God, our relationship with all aspects of our lives is something that ever-deepens. To rest on the laurels of what we have societally said is ‘normal’ and ‘ok’ – when in many instances it is clearly not ok – does not inspire me to live a full and rich life whatsoever.
The ‘new and true normal’ is something that evolves and is never, ever stagnant.
Love this Suzanne. Clearly, what’s been deemed and accepted as ‘normal’ and ‘typical’ encompasses vast swathes of human behaviour, intent and thought that is undeniably harmful to our wellbeing, our bodies and our relationships – both with ourselves and with all others on this planet.
What is considered ‘normal’ most definitely deserves re-defining, with no complacency allowed in the process. For once we have discovered a ‘new normal’ for ourselves – in terms of self-care, say what we eat for example, it cannot be a ‘fixed point’. Our bodies are ever-changing, as we potentially are also.
Thanks for a great blog – much ‘conversation’ to be opened up from this for sure…
Agreed Victoria. The new normal needs to be what is felt to support and serve me at that particular point in time. This process of feeling what it is in each moment that is right for us individually is what is needed to be normal.
This is a great conversation to bring up Suzanne, as I too have had the same experience during an EBM treatment. There are so many society ‘norms’ that impose boundaries on what is ‘acceptable’ or ‘normal’ or ‘shoulds’ and ‘shouldn’t’. A women’s breasts are a part of her own body, not up for public opinion to consider what is ‘normal’ to do with them. How is it ok, even accepted as normal, for them to be a sexualized object instead of a having a deeply nurturing and respectful treatment, that offers so much healing to the breast tissue? How is it that since having EBM’s I have almost no tender breast lumps in my breast tissue these days compared to how many tender lumps I used to have? This modality certainly must have positive long term impact on women’s breast health. Maybe, because its so common these days for women to experience tender breasts, that this has become ‘normal’?. The new normal, in my opinion and experience, is reversing this accepted ‘normal’ by improving breast health with Esoteric Breast Massage. EBM’s are most definitely true medicine for a woman by restoring connection to, and developing an intimate relationship with self nurturing, self love and self care. Esoteric Breast Massage is the emerging new normal for women, as it addresses many of the core issues that contribute and impact on women’s health in our communities. And surely, improvements of women’s breast health has to be a benefit to public health.
I love ‘your’ new normal Suzanne! I am feeling now how exhausting it is trying to keep up with ‘normal’ so called behaviours. Who sets the bar of what is normal and who is in that range and who is not? I know I have set imaginary ‘normal’ bars for myself, and when I try to meet them I feel enormous pressure as the status quo of that ‘normal’ changes continually. This is changing as I call out these societal normals and allow myself to discover my natural normals.
Suzanne your blog raises a very interesting point. “Is it possible we have it all wrong? Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” I agree with this point. By buying into ‘well that is normal’ we can easily not take full responsibility for our actions because the rest of society isn’t choosing to do that either. It is almost like a get out of jail card. But the more that we stop pulling this card and we choose to live fully as the Sons of God, this then can become the new normal which paves the way for a whole and true way of living.
Letting stuff become normalised feeds our irresponsibility. It brings to mind something adults would often say when I was a kid: “If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you too?”
Beautiful blog Suzanne Anderssen, who defines the normal and it should be me defining my normal and to not accept something to be normal because it is accepted as such by some or a majority in our societies. I can feel the power of this as when I claim my normal, then I am accepting me in full appreciation of myself and will be able to see the truth of what is presented to me in our nowadays society.
Absolutely – just because something is labelled normal does not mean it needs to be accepted as such, we can define our own normal and live according to what is true to us rather than what is imposed upon us as if that normal needs to be aspired to.
I can now see that calling something normal, which for me is quite static, is in fact ignoring the fact that we are evolving back to where we original come from and that in that there is no normal to aim for as we are for ever evolving to a greater awareness and greater way of being which is not a static at all.
Great article Suzanne. Defining something as ‘normal’ feels to me a cop out to avoid looking at the reality of how we’re living and behaving. It’s a way of dismissing our concerns. If enough people are doing it then it’s okay – it’s normal – and we can tell ourselves we’re just the same as everyone else. It’s normal to be aggressive, rude, disregarding of ourselves and others. Conflict is normal. Relationship breakdown and divorce are normal. Depression is expected at some stage in life and therefore normal. Viiolence is typical. Kids’ binge drinking is typical. Alzheimer’s is fast becoming what we expect in old age. Obesity and diabetes will be considered normal before too long. Why do we accept this lowered state of health and living? If we can bundle all these things together into a package called normal, then we can stop feeling so concerned about the reality of what we’re seeing and don’t have to take responsibility for our health, how we’re living, or the state of the world. We disturb the status quo when we don’t fit into these norms and are likely to be derided for it. Could good health, vitality and living gently, lovingly and harmoniously become normal? I’m with you. It’s time for a new normal. Bring it on!
Thank you Judy for adding to the never ending list of what’s normal, but not really: conflict, relationship breakdown, violence, binge drinking, depression, obesity, diabetes…These things should never be deemed normal and the label normal serves only to keep so many entrapped in the perils called life.
“Are we using ‘normal’ as a definition to allow ourselves to get away with something?” Great question Suzanne and one that has certainly got me thinking, that the fact that something is considered normal is such a ready excuse for many shocking behaviours. We as a society have accepted so much as normal when it is actually so far away from it, like the drunken behaviours of people in hospital emergency units on a Saturday night. To accept that this is normal is appalling, but because it happens so often, many do. I’m with you here 100% Suzanne, it’s time for a new definition of normal.
You’re absolutely right, normal is defined by what is accepted and that a majority of people are doing it. If everyone was doing drugs wouldn’t that be normal? You hit the nail on the head when you said that normal doesn’t mean what is serving us. If our approach was to allow normal things to be what is serving us truthfully then there would be a very different version of normal, it would be completely different.
It is a great point – you just have to look at the world today to recognise what is normal is certainly not working for us and yet we continue to champion it and strive to be it as if it is.
Normal has a tremendously powerful grip on our way of thinking. The examples you have given Suzanne are really important to stop and consider. The reason for this is that once something becomes “normal” we also become blind to it – we just don’t see that it is happening and the consequences of it. Alcohol fuelled fist-fights are normalised because they are just what happens when young men and women drink too much. It is only when there is a spate of deaths or total and permanent disabilities that we wake up and say hold on…something is wrong here. Note the word spate was very deliberately chosen because the occasional deaths still do not challenge the normality of this kind of violence. Only 5 or 6 deaths in quick succession have the power to break the stranglehold that ‘normal’ applies to our minds. There are so many activities that have become normalised simply by way of commonality and sheer repetition….too often they are harming and abusive to self or others.
Conversely there are many beautiful, healing and evolutionary things in this world that have been pushed to the fringe because they are not ‘normal’. Perhaps very few people participate in them, or those things are not publicly discussed. While we have a way of thinking that is dominated by normal, and equates what is normal to that which is common, then those things have a great deal of difficulty receiving a fair hearing. The Esoteric Breast Massage fits that criteria -it is not commonly practiced so it is not normal by that usual definition. The fact that it supports a woman’s to restore her connection to her body, brings her back to who she truly is i.e.: truly normal does give rise to the understanding that we need a new normal – one that is very real and not just based on numbers that make no sense to human life.
So true Dr Rachel, that once something becomes normal we seem to be blind to it. It escapes our attention and focus, we move onto other things, always looking for the next controversy. It should not be normal that this is can even occur.
Well said Suzanne, it is definitely time for a new normal! A normal that is based on truth and love and that considers all, which currently is in stark contrast to what we currently accept as ‘typical or expected’ behaviour, and what is ofter referred to as the ‘norm’.