Inspired by Universal Medicine… Just Being Me

I am beginning to realise how powerful it is just being me by connecting to the quality of who I am within.  I have spent most of my 60 plus years of life living from my head and thinking I needed to constantly be available for everyone else. My way of doing this was by trying to fix things for everybody, often because I felt responsible for what others did or didn’t do.

I used to suggest solutions to problems or issues and steer people to what I thought would be solving the problem without really connecting to what would be truly supportive for that person to gain a new understanding for themselves as to why the issue was happening in the first place.

I have learnt that if I just stay with my body and myself and observe without the need to fix a situation, this allows more space for people to be responsible for their own lives, without my being attached to any outcomes.

I now know that the way to live my life is by just being me – and that is all that is needed.

 

This change in my approach started over three years ago when I began to re-connect to the truth of who we all are, as presented by Universal Medicine and in the book The Way It Is by Serge Benhayon. I had been searching for this truth all my life but had focussed on solutions to life’s issues instead of realising that the truth of everything is inside us all – in our inner-heart, our inner knowing through being with our bodies instead of being in our heads. In other words – JUST BEING who we truly are.

Over the last three years I have changed my behaviours because I am learning to keep re-connecting to the quality of my presence in my body – by being present with myself – and I am finding that this allows others to also be with themselves. I have found that I am not responsible for anyone else’s life and this fact alone means that I now have less stress and a more joyful life.

An example of this was demonstrated to me through a woman whom I had been visiting in a nursing home for some time and I was very close to. Previously I had tried to help by endeavouring to solve her problems as I felt responsible in some way – that’s the way my mind worked.

After attending a Universal Medicine retreat I became aware that to assist this woman the only thing I could do was to just be me. When I visited her and I stayed present with myself more consciously, just being me, then things started to change for both of us; her whole demeanour began to alter and her face looked soft, serene and pain-free. As I continued just being me and not falling into any old ‘doing’ or ‘fixing’ patterns, our relationship opened up and I began to feel a beautiful closeness and a deeper connection with her.

As I became more open to accepting her as she was, then magically there didn’t seem to be any problems to solve. I continued to take care of her daily needs but I did it with more love because I stayed present with myself and I found that I could now visit without becoming tired and drained.

I have realised that when I try to fix others people’s problems I am giving my energy away to something that I have no control over and hence I can become quite exhausted.

 

This woman has given me a wonderful gift: the opportunity to learn that I am enough just being myself – around her, and around everybody.

I reflect upon how all areas of my life are changing when I allow myself to just be myself and stay in my body. The power of that connection is all that is required and by accepting, loving and appreciating who I am, my relationships with people have changed for the better.

How I have learned to do this is to consciously breathe my own gentle breath that connects all of me to my body (bringing my head in line with what my body is doing) so that I can feel what I am doing and be present in every moment with whatever action I am undertaking. As I exhale I feel the rhythm of my breath as it flows through me, allowing further surrendering in my body. I now know that everything is part of the unfolding nature of life and the way this happens is by me just being in my body, trusting the process of life instead of trying to fix everything for everyone, and that is all that I need to do… just being me… simple!

Inspired by Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine.

By Susan Wilson, Albury

Related Reading:
Using The Gentle Breath Meditation To Connect
Connection, Choice & Energy: Are You the Pilot or is Autopilot Running You?
The Beauty in Being Completely Honest and Just Being Me

1,022 thoughts on “Inspired by Universal Medicine… Just Being Me

  1. I used to be a real fixer in life and became quite exhausted by it as it didn’t get me anywhere – plus also very frustrated! Fixing I know now, is not the answer, but breathing my own breath is. Changing my breath has been life changing. Fixing was a mind set for sure but the great thing about the gentle breath is that is aligns the mind to the body, to the gentleness that is being presented through the breath. No need to fix, just breath my own breath and connect to others in this way. A simple yet very profound lesson learnt and a work in progress also.

  2. Hear hear Susan to all you have shared. I too have spent a lifetime trying to fix other people’s problems, until the exhaustion caught up with me and I realised that by absorbing it all, I had come up with a convenient way to hold back the full and true expression of me, in the sense that if we fill ourselves full of the woes of another, and immerse ourselves in ‘fixing’, we do not have to stop and feel what is needing to be addressed within us. In short, rescuing others becomes an abandonment of ourselves. Also I finally learnt that as much as you may want to help another 1. You can only help those who want to help themselves and 2. You cannot learn another’s lesson for them. Sometimes to best support another we need to stand back and observe while at the same time bring our full expression to the moment, simply by the being present in the truest sense, both with us and with them and by virtue of this beholding, the ‘what next’ is then able to be revealed.

  3. What you have shared here Susan is very powerful and wise, a great lesson for us all, thank you;
    “I have learnt that if I just stay with my body and myself and observe without the need to fix a situation, this allows more space for people to be responsible for their own lives, without my being attached to any outcomes”.

  4. Funny that Susan, when we stop trying to fix the world, suddenly the world meets us and we meet them and there’s much less trying all round. And to do so we do need to catch those ways we’ve trained ourselves to be needed, to ‘fix’ and in many cases it’s been a successful, albeit tiring way to avoid feeling ourselves and all that is around; so having tools like the Gentle Breath Meditation has been a great thing for me to just steady myself and remind me to stop and come back to the body and just feel me. That simple. Just keep applying it!

  5. Susan, this is a great example of learning what true care and love is. Giving another space to feel where they are at while holding love for them is incredibly supportive. When we try to fix things we offer no way out of the cycle they are in, only another way to stay in their issue. I feel when we are trying to help another we are in sympathy for them, which is holding them less. It’s saying to them they are not enough to move out of the cycle they are in. By holding a loving reflection we say to them, you are so much more than this issue, you are all of this reflection – love.

  6. I knew from deep within that there was a simplicity to life but I could not find it until I returned to my inner essence through connecting with my body instead of only with my head, the thinking mind.

  7. There is so much in this blog I would like to re-visit. I feel like you have offered me a gift to take into my day and then found as a normal. There are still areas of my life where I am trying to fix things for others, given them counsel or words of wisdom that will make their relationships easier. Yet that may not be what they are asking for or the response they actually need, so time to step back and just allow space for them to choose afresh and for me to truly listen and respond.

  8. Thank you Susan for sharing your experience, I can relate to so much of what you have shared wanting to fix everybody’s problems ignoring my own responsibility and my own needs. I now understand more clearly that what is needed is me being me and bringing my presence to the situation and allowing space for others to really feel. If I am present in my body I will know how to respond when needed.

  9. Thank you Susan for your sharing. Interestingly enough I have just commented on a similar theme as yours so I feel I am being drawn to make those changes you both address in my life also. I know I have tried to fix things and it is draining and we don’t allow the other person the room to sort themselves! I can lovingly support but ultimately to grow we all need to be responsible for making our own decisions.

  10. Thanks Susan, this is a great blog for me to read, and I have a few times now. I’m sure as we realise we are enough in our relationship to ourselves we begin to relate to others the same way. This was a great line “I have realised that when I try to fix others people’s problems I am giving my energy away to something that I have no control over and hence I can become quite exhausted.” How true, this is awesome wisdom Susan.

  11. I needed to read this at this point in time as I can feel I have become invested in a relationship and I want it to be a certain way. In this there is an imposing and wanting to ‘help’ the other person but it is coming from my investment so it was a timely read to come back to just supporting another.

    1. Great awareness to have MW, it is our investments in wanting a relationship or situation to be as we would like and so it is more about us than the other. I see how trying to ‘fix’ is a form of control also.

  12. I will re-read your blog Susan as I know this pattern very well to be focused to fix all. Most in my work area. To work in a way focused that all will be satisfied one day, which will never happen. Like many people don’t want to be happy or satisfied. It is not to me to know what the others need or want to experience in life. And for me it is to feel the need to belong. I can just belong to myself. and there find God and the essence of all.

  13. I was always trying to fix people’s problems especially within my family as a child, I hated any arguments within the family and there were many. so I would go round much like an ambassador to try to and appease everyone. It never really worked but it didn’t stop me from trying. And reading this blog I still have this tendency to try and fix, rather than just let everything be and going into sympathy helps no one. This is a great blog to read before going to visit my family to remind myself to just be with me and don’t try to fix anyone. After all if they had wanted to be ‘fixed’ they would have started to make different choices by now.

  14. There is such a simplicity and flow to life when we allow ourselves to just be who we truly are and can let go of the control in our lives with regards to the pictures we hold about others. So why don’t we do it? the answer is, we have identified as being an individual and indulge in the emotions this entails, for once we connect to the bigger picture of life we know there is a divine plan at play where our reflection is so needed in order to support another to truly evolve.

  15. I have also felt how when one tries to ‘fix’ or give advice even with the best intention it can be quite imposing on the other. I have seen there are many reasons we may want things to be different because we may see what is possible, yet we cannot choose for another. It is also the case that we are trying to relieve a discomfort in ourselves because we do not like to feel this disharmony. Often our greatest support is in our reflection, which offers inspiration.

  16. Knowing we are enough, more than enough when we are being ourselves connected to all we are; this is all that is ever needed. It allows for space and simplicity and the natural order and flow in life to be.

  17. It’s so insidious this fixing thing we can have, it means we do not feel ourselves and where we are and we end up imposing on others, and trying to manage them and in fact it all just creates a lot of falseness with ourselves and others. When we can drop this and just be us, we give space to both ourselves and others in the most beautiful way, we just let each other be.

  18. The power of ‘just being me’ is well underrated. When we are ‘just being me’ we offer God to another and in this offering is the greatest gift of the remembrance of what truly lies within, A divine spark of God.

  19. Learning and knowing that we are enough, just as we are, is such a gift and such a powerful lesson to take forward. Thank you Susan for presenting this beautiful example.

  20. Beautifully said Susan – I second everything you have shared here. Being ourselves is very healing not just for us but for those around us too.

  21. It is very beautiful to live in a way that allows you to let go of any attachment to anothers choices and within that offer a space that allows people to learn what they need to in their own time without any judgment or imposition. There is a gorgeous surrender in choosing only to be responsible for ourselves and knowing just from choosing this, others are offered a reflection that supports them to do the same… when they are ready to.

  22. I can imagine how the world would change if each and every one of us knew that we cannot save anyone else that we can only save ourselves. For me, finally realising this was one of the biggest catalysts for change in my life. It saved me endless energy, it freed me from the weight of a responsibility that was actually not mine and in doing so it allowed others the space to acknowledge that their life was their responsibility. When we try to fix something for others we are denying them the opportunity to evolve their own lives in way that is true for them.

  23. Being identified by our roles in life can have us being everything but what is naturally us in truth. Stepping out of these roles can leaving you feeling quite bereft. The beautiful thing is that around the corner there is more of your real yummy self waiting to be discovered.

  24. And it takes many many reminders that all we need is to be ourselves, and that that’s all anybody actually needs. The reflection of someone surrendering to the simplicity of who they are is magic.

  25. This reminds me how much energy I used to spend, trying to fix other people’s ‘problems’, it wasn’t like I did not have a fair few things to sort out myself, but I got a certain amount of recognition from helping and would do it at the detriment to myself and my well-being. Learning to make self-care and self-love a starting point and being responsible from there has altered how I am with people, I still offer support and often we do resolve issues together, but I do not seek a needy ‘thank you’ or ‘yes you are good enough’ from another person. The power of reflection is significant.

  26. What if there was nothing to fix, nothing we had to do or become and nothing we had to be? Life suddenly becomes very simple and so wholesome.

  27. Aaaaah gosh Susan – this is a learning I seem to keep having to return to. There is no thing others should do or way they should be, no safe zone, no security they should provide – all of this just comes in and seems strong when I don’t embrace and embody me. But when I do, I bring a quality and grace that naturally reorganises chaos into order, disharmony into simplicity – all without even trying! So wow, the order of what we’re here to do is so clear – honour and live our power, to the max, every day, without giving into fear and doubt.

  28. It is often very disempowering of other people when we step in and take over, in the mistaken belief that this is in any way helpful or supportive. Is it possible that, when we do this, we are only helping ourselves to feel important and needed?

  29. I have come to realise that when I attempt to go in and help someone I am saying to them – you are not capable of making your own choices and immediately make them less and me more. This has been a beautiful blog to read as it shows how our presence truly does allow healing to unfold in it’s most natural way.

  30. “just being me “….before coming across Universal Medicine I had not idea what these words meant. People used to say, “just be yourself “and I wanted to hit them (not physically and not on all days 🙂 ) but I used to get quite frustrated because I was like ‘who is me??? how can I be ‘me’ when I don’t really know who I am.

    I had always been a searcher, searching for the meaning of life, our life’s purpose – why we were here and I spent years looking under many stones to find it. It was not until I finally realised that it’s not ‘out there’, that we are actually everything we need to be, it is all inside each and every one of us.

    That we all have a inner-heart, a inner-most, that is divine and LOVE, and connected to something quite grand. And that to be me, is to learn to live from that in my own unique way. Thank God (and speaking of God, that we are all sons of God – equally so), for Serge Benhayon and the Way of the Livingnesss that is showing us the way to be our true selves. And to know it on a real, practical, every day basis.

  31. Beautiful Susan – not only are others problems not ours to fix, ‘our issues’ are not even ‘ours’ in the way we think. They are just like a black cloud that sits with us, and we give credence and energy to. So they seem to be very real. But the truth of it all, is they are not, and if we are willing to let go of the identification we have made then these issues can dissolve and drift away. The root it seems is all to do with us unconditionally loving ourselves.

  32. Great blog Susan. I would say that I have been a fixer and it is great to be able to allow others to take care of their own problems by just standing back and trusting they know how to do so. If they need our support they will ask for it .

  33. If I choose to live who I am and all of me, I allow the space for others to be themselves – life is simple and the complications I have brought in drop away. Thanks Susan.

  34. ‘I have realised that when I try to fix others people’s problems I am giving my energy away to something that I have no control over and hence I can become quite exhausted.’

    Susan you have just uncovered one of the primary causes of exhaustion in women. Being available 24-7 for everyone other than one’s self is enormously debilitating – and harmfully idealised and promoted as the way for women to ‘do life’. Ladies, reclaim yourself, and your self-care.

  35. I have noticed this as well – the moment I project something I think or expect on to a situation I stop actually reading the situation fully and often will completely miss whatever is really being presented to me.

  36. It’s amazing the relief our bodies feel when we choose to stop, listen and support our ourselves. When we stop the momentum and or feelings of obligation to help others we can choose to connect to who we are and allow that holding quality to then allow the space for others to then make their own choices thereafter. Simply stunning.

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