by Frank Tybislawski, Brisbane, Australia
Many years ago if you had asked me if I was amazing, I would have said ‘no’. Even if you substituted other words like fantastic, cool, clever, etc, the answer would still be ‘no’. If I think back to school there were certainly other kids who would have said, ‘yes’, they were amazing – without hesitation or fear. But while they would have said they were amazing, they didn’t feel amazing to me in a true way. They were probably funny and popular, happy and cheerful; perhaps these got mixed up and blended together into something labelled amazingness.
In more recent times, actually very recent times, I can actually say that I am amazing and importantly, I actually feel it and believe it.
The fact that I am amazing has always been within me, but was constantly hidden from view. Hidden from my view of myself, and by my own actions hidden from the view of others. This recent realization in myself was helped along by the words of others. I could say the words were compliments, but these compliments are so genuine and truthful in feeling that I cannot help but believe them as a truthful and honest appraisal of what others can clearly see in me.
My workplace can be very quiet, or very chaotic, changing from one to the other at any moment, day or night. There can be a lot to do in a very short space of time, and sometimes there are some very important actions which relate to the safety of people and property. One person said to me that he was impressed with how ‘constant’ and ‘stable’ I was regardless of how the rest of the workplace was, and what situations we were dealing with. When I actually pondered on that I realized it was true and I was pleased he could see that. If he could see it then others did too, and similar comments have since been made. Those who do see that quality all agree it is a fantastic quality to have, to remain so even and calm regardless of external situations or influences. The ability to not be affected inside by what is happening outside. This isn’t something I had really noticed in myself, but now that I know it’s there, it’s hard to think of living any other way.
The second comment I received was from a woman I’ve only known for a couple of years, and even then we’ve only met occasionally and spoken very briefly. Quite out of the blue she contacted me and said, in part, “…I love your exquisite gentle and tender presence”. I can feel what she said is true and without any intent or expectations attached to it. This was a great thing for me to hear and take on board, a wonderful confirmation.
These unsolicited, open and honest comments really helped me cement the fact that I am amazing, and that I can say so in an honest way. It makes such a difference to be able to say that, not from a mental ideal, but as an innermost truth.
How do I feel today? Amazing!
It’s taken a long time to get to this point, but it’s worth it because I can feel the honesty and truth of where the feeling comes from. It feels so different from hearing those kids so many years ago claiming to be amazing, which felt like a false attempt to make them appear to fit in with the crowd – rather than simply being themselves and bringing something unique and special to the world that no one else could.
This amazingness I feel is honest, true, and firmly planted deep within me.
I express it through my very being – others can obviously see it, I can feel it and I claim it as my truth.