I Love Thee – Swimflying, Family and Gluten-free Biscuits

by Alan Johnston, Pottsville

I have two sisters and a brother, all older. A few weeks ago the younger of my sisters and I discovered that we both ‘swimfly’ in our dreams. We were quietly sharing together after not having seen each other for ten years. It was a beautiful point of connection. Swimflying is dream-flying – using your arms and legs in easy swim strokes to stay aloft and glide.

For decades I have seen very little of my siblings as they all live interstate. We haven’t been close.

Our family has a thread of haemophilia recessively running through each generation – making my father, for one, very cautious and fearful. He had seen two of his brothers bleed to death from relatively minor accidents. This and other influences engendered an ingrained sense of separateness amongst us all.

However, when my brother (who I hadn’t seen in twenty years) recently asked me if I would attend his seventieth birthday, it felt right to go.

My family (like most) tries to ‘bridge’ or relate through shared stories. It turned out that there were two birthdays happening on consecutive days, and by the afternoon of day two the stories were treacle thick. Things I had long forgotten, chapters from the family mythology. I observed myself lapse into the contradiction of ‘withdrawing’ into extroversion, making jokes, keeping it light, all the while feeling the disconnection inside me. An old habit, how I have always avoided feeling the discomfort of not really staying with myself, readily downshifting into my personality to meet ‘what is expected’.

Around then, my sister-in-law – she who never speaks in gatherings – proffered some gluten-free biscuits she had clearly bought for me. This plainsong act of love was dearly felt, offering a simple reconnection.

So where does Universal Medicine come in, and how is all this different from the way I was living before I engaged with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine?

Well firstly, I probably would never have gone to my brother’s birthday, instead finding some reason to not attend. I would more than likely have not given myself the space to feel what felt ‘right’. Too preoccupied. Next, my ability to be with my sister, just listening and connecting and not trying to tell her how it is, has come through my own ‘homecoming’.

Homecoming (noun) – coming home to my own sense of wellbeing or love, in which wholeness there is no ‘out there’ to perform for, just an inclusiveness best expressed by the words I sometimes quietly utter to myself – ‘I love Thee’ – and the Thee is me in fullness.

588 thoughts on “I Love Thee – Swimflying, Family and Gluten-free Biscuits

  1. It is beautiful when we stay with our self, and through that share our own expression with out imposing on others. Our true essence and lightness is felt by all. Keeping that openness is a welcome message to others that they can just be who they are, no pretense is required.

  2. I didn’t know the term ‘swimflying’, but I am very familiar with the act there of. Mine looks more super hero though with a fist in the air for lift off.

  3. Beautiful Alan that you allowed your family in and allowed yourself in to their lives. The tyranny of distance doesn’t have to be so, and we certainly don’t need to see eachother regularly to connect to one another.

  4. It is very very beautiful to be able to be with each other for the simple purpose of being with and enjoying each other without any need to perform or achieve anything.

  5. A joy to read Alan. To observe how you structured your sentences with strong words placed as they are. It just goes to show anything is possible; and to be yourself – a connection can then be developed and a joy shared.

  6. You have used a word in this blog I have never heard before, but love immensely… “plainsong” … it evokes the charm of appreciation and subtle but ever present love in a world with not enough of either.

  7. To reread this blog Alan brings a smile to my face, it is an absolute joy. Beautiful things certainly do happen when you are simply yourself.

  8. ‘…withdrawing’ into extroversion…’ – yes, what a wonderful paradox you highlight here Alan. Donning a mask of joviality can certainly keep us separate and disconnected. How much more meaningful to connect with long-lost siblings quietly and without the role-playing. Family mythology can be fun to recall, but doesn’t necessarily offer us any true depth.

  9. I love how you write Alan the words flow on the page in a way that I could totally relate to especially where family are concerned. “An old habit, how I have always avoided feeling the discomfort of not really staying with myself, readily downshifting into my personality to meet ‘what is expected’.” This so beautifully describes what I have also done in the past, and why I used to avoid my family, where possible because of the discomfort I felt of not staying with me, and the shrinking feeling I felt in my body.

  10. Connecting with others both from our past and present and working on the quality of our relationships with them is absolutely vital for our health and wellbeing.

  11. Deeply beautiful Alan.The illusion of extroversion with it’s accompanying disconnection from self is blown away so clearly in what you share here. The more we connect to and come home to us, the more we can be at home with others.

  12. That one of the things I have noticed for myself with regard to working with Universal Medicine, I have become more open, understanding and accepting of others. All the relied on social behaviours can drop away, whether it’s introversion or extroversion, we can simply be ourselves and allow others the same.

    1. I too feel this Melinda, I feel so much more true understanding and compassion for others and myself that it is a game changer.

  13. Reconnecting to ourselves through reconnecting to family makes us aware that we all belong to one all encompassing family.

  14. Such a beautiful blog. I love the bit about your sister buying you gluten free biscuits, as this is indeed love to meet a person where they are at and what is important for them.

  15. It’s great to truly connect with people, no matter what their lineage.We often place ‘more’ on certain relationships and expect them to be a certain way or project how things will be and yet little do we truly make time to simply connect with someone, even just to genuinely and respectfully to hear what they have to say in full. I get this from this article, the art of being free to choose to simply and truly connect.

  16. That simple it is. Just to be with people with no expectations, just allow ourselves and the others just to be.
    This is so healing for all of us as we live in a society where are so many demands that we even are not aware of it anymore.

  17. Just allowing ourselves to be with family members, instead of always feeling like we need to tell them what to do, how to be, etc.. when we start to accept who we are more deeply, we can accept where others are at, too, instead of needing them to be where they are not, for us.

  18. Homecoming is a word I would not have ever used, but reading this blog I can feel the homecoming I am, and have walked since meeting Serge Benhayon. Homecoming is a reconnection of immense proportions, and with it, it can only be shared with others.

  19. ” Homecoming (noun) – coming home to my own sense of wellbeing or love, in which wholeness there is no ‘out there’ to perform for, just an inclusiveness best expressed by the words I sometimes quietly utter to myself – ‘I love Thee’ – and the Thee is me in fullness. ” This is beautiful Alan thank you.

  20. Oh Alan, your last sentence bought a welling of tears from within, it is expressed with such love and tenderness it is like a melting of hardness left my body.

  21. “An old habit, how I have always avoided feeling the discomfort of not really staying with myself, readily downshifting into my personality to meet ‘what is expected’.”…I can relate to this Alan and family gatherings are where it usually gets shown to us the most.

  22. I got a bit teary reading your last paragraph Alan. That deep feeling of coming home to ourselves is something I am allowing myself to connect to. There is nothing else like it, and then the magic that happens from there unfolds with no effort at all.

  23. I have recently had a conversation with my sister in which I allowed her to speak without controlling or telling her why and how I thought things were the way they were. Giving people the space to express is the true meaning of treating everyone equally, for we all know the truth, it is only us that can choose to step out of an issue if we are in it. The best way to support others when they are buried is to offer a clear reflection with no expectation. Great blog, I love the way that you convey so much imagery and intrigue with so few words, it reminds me of my old man (Dad).

  24. Such a lovely, gentle confirmation of what it is to be at ease with oneself and others. A beautiful and simple celebration of the support of Universal Medicine to ‘come home’ to oneself.

  25. I love the point you make about finding a settlement within yourself and that this has allowed you to also allow others to be without needing them to change or be anything- this is very freeing for all. I am inspired.

  26. I can so identify with choosing to not engage with family or the world telling myself the lie that I prefer my own company, but I too have learned from Serge Benhayon, the magic that is possible through relationships if we are open to allowing it to flow.

  27. My family has always been functional but distant and at the passing of a member of family a few years ago it felt very obvious that the way we were was not what we wanted. It feels like we are somehow trying to be a ‘good’ brother/sister/son/daughter/mother etc. but admitting that something needs changing and making a conscious choice not to avoid each other and be willing to listen to each other is a very welcome change I wouldn’t have expected.

  28. “I observed myself lapse into the contradiction of ‘withdrawing’ into extroversion, making jokes, keeping it light, all the while feeling the disconnection inside me”. This observation is very wise and one that most would not see. However, if you know yourself and your deep connection with the universe, being extraverted and jokey can take you away from who you are into a false form. Although you may appear to be the life of the party, it’s actually a way of hiding the depths of who you are to fit in.

  29. I love the way you write Alan Johnston, bringing life to words like ‘plainsong’ reminds me that I am of a grander place than my everyday experience of life sometimes is.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s