I Love Thee – Swimflying, Family and Gluten-free Biscuits

by Alan Johnston, Pottsville

I have two sisters and a brother, all older. A few weeks ago the younger of my sisters and I discovered that we both ‘swimfly’ in our dreams. We were quietly sharing together after not having seen each other for ten years. It was a beautiful point of connection. Swimflying is dream-flying – using your arms and legs in easy swim strokes to stay aloft and glide.

For decades I have seen very little of my siblings as they all live interstate. We haven’t been close.

Our family has a thread of haemophilia recessively running through each generation – making my father, for one, very cautious and fearful. He had seen two of his brothers bleed to death from relatively minor accidents. This and other influences engendered an ingrained sense of separateness amongst us all.

However, when my brother (who I hadn’t seen in twenty years) recently asked me if I would attend his seventieth birthday, it felt right to go.

My family (like most) tries to ‘bridge’ or relate through shared stories. It turned out that there were two birthdays happening on consecutive days, and by the afternoon of day two the stories were treacle thick. Things I had long forgotten, chapters from the family mythology. I observed myself lapse into the contradiction of ‘withdrawing’ into extroversion, making jokes, keeping it light, all the while feeling the disconnection inside me. An old habit, how I have always avoided feeling the discomfort of not really staying with myself, readily downshifting into my personality to meet ‘what is expected’.

Around then, my sister-in-law – she who never speaks in gatherings – proffered some gluten-free biscuits she had clearly bought for me. This plainsong act of love was dearly felt, offering a simple reconnection.

So where does Universal Medicine come in, and how is all this different from the way I was living before I engaged with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine?

Well firstly, I probably would never have gone to my brother’s birthday, instead finding some reason to not attend. I would more than likely have not given myself the space to feel what felt ‘right’. Too preoccupied. Next, my ability to be with my sister, just listening and connecting and not trying to tell her how it is, has come through my own ‘homecoming’.

Homecoming (noun) – coming home to my own sense of wellbeing or love, in which wholeness there is no ‘out there’ to perform for, just an inclusiveness best expressed by the words I sometimes quietly utter to myself – ‘I love Thee’ – and the Thee is me in fullness.

625 thoughts on “I Love Thee – Swimflying, Family and Gluten-free Biscuits

  1. This is true poetry Alan: “coming home to my own sense of wellbeing or love, in which wholeness there is no ‘out there’ to perform for, just an inclusiveness best expressed by the words I sometimes quietly utter to myself – ‘I love Thee’ – and the Thee is me in fullness.” Your way with words shows the silkiness and ease of the soul in expression.

  2. ‘withdrawing’ into extroversion” this is beautiful and so well observed Alan, withdrawing does not always mean becoming quiet, it can also mean becoming more loud as to no longer hear what we are truly feeling and our body is communicating with us.

  3. When we get ourselves out of the way, we find there is a bigger self beneath it that is not consumed by the hurts that we carry or the insecurities we may feel but unified in the love that we share with others. This ‘bigger self’ is not really a self at all in the sense that we have no ownership of it, but it is our true self because it is our Soul; the one and same Soul that all others also have equal access to. When Soul is at the table, all are invited. I love that.

  4. The best of all home coming is to come home to ourselves, to our inner heart, this then allows everyone else to be part of our homecoming.

    1. Beautiful Jill. This reminds me of the popular saying ‘home is where the heart is’ which implies that whatever place we feel emotionally connected to or bound by is our home. However, the deeper truth here is that ‘home is IN the heart’ and never will it be found purely outside of it.

  5. There is so much beautify in this seemingly simple story. The love of people is felt, and the ability to be intimate with them, appreciate them, with what ever they do. You have shifted to an observer in life Alan.

  6. Everywhere is home when we are in connection to our essence, our Soul, as such offering an open house for all to feel and experience that the warmth of love is beckoning all to return home.

  7. Magic Alan, to come home and be us in fullness, with no out there just the simplicity of being us where ever we are, not an ounce of trying.

  8. Homecoming is indeed what triggers me when you talk about in this beautiful story. Homecoming is first and foremost the coming back to ourselves, our inner love that we have missed for most of our lives.

  9. Alan it sounds like you are rebuilding what family is to you. That is a joy to read – it is not about getting together to do the right thing but rather bring all of you to the table and offer it to others.

  10. The ‘homecoming’ that Alan and so many students of The Livingness speak of has such simple yet profound ripples throughout our lives. To be aware of the false way we can use humour to actually keep people from ever seeing us, taking conversations deeper to ‘swim flying’, instead of staying comfortably in small talk and just listening without trying to change or judge another are rare gifts waiting to be claimed in our inner heart.

  11. You have a beautifull way with words … or they have a beautifull flow with you or maybe it is just an equal partnership. I loved reading this, easy yet offering us all something so much deeper. Thank you.

  12. Reminiscences are actually pulling us back, when we are not aware of how to share things. As everything expanded from that moment already, it lessens the vibration of the now. Interesting that in gatherings it is often a way to communicate and to feel connected to each other. But is it truly connection if you relate to someone from something in the past- maybe many many years ago?

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