by Nicole Serafin, Age 40, Tintenbar NSW
I have been observing, not only this year but over the past few years, what it is that Christmas actually is.
When we were young it was all about the presents, then as I hit my teenage years it became all about the celebrations and parties that went along with the festive season. I spent many a morning with hangovers, then the afternoons with a very full belly, wishing I had not eaten or drunk so much. Then as I got older there seemed to actually be no true meaning to Christmas.
People used to say that if you had children or grandchildren that it was all about the children, but if you did not have any children, what then? You can see on the news the amount of unwanted gifts that get returned or sold online; gifts that have been given out of duty or obligation because it is just something we do at Christmas. Gifts are purchased that can often not be afforded, but the debt is incurred anyway, just to make sure that we are ‘doing the right thing’. The extra stress and pressure people put themselves under to make sure that the day is perfect, whether it be with food, alcohol and/or gifts, is enormous.
Each year the conversations that I have with people – whether it be shopkeepers, checkout people, family or friends – are always the same: why do we do this, I can’t wait for it to be over, next year I am going to do it differently, etc. They then dread the day that their credit card statement arrives.
For me it appeared that the meaning and purpose of Christmas had been lost and it became increasingly difficult to go along with it the older I got. It felt like it had become something that we celebrate out of habit, rather than what we feel we should do, in the way that we feel it should be.
I decided that I had to distance myself from the whole Christmas thing in order to rediscover what, for me, Christmas was all about. I got to feel that Christmas was a time that I wanted to spend with people dear to me, with friends and family. It is a time to celebrate who I am, and reflect on what I have, and appreciate where I am at. I then take that deeper appreciation and self-love with me into the new year.
Words on Serge Benhayon 
I know year in year out we do the same thing! I was in a supermarket just now and picked up a ladies shopping basket instead of mine! 😂 but it got us laughing and talking and sharing exactly the same thing you are saying here and what many people are probably saying. This year I feel much calmer about the whole thing but am inspired that you distance yourself from the whole thing and reflect something different to others.
Great to read this again at the start of December. A chance to review the past year and appreciate.
Time to review your life, connect with friends, let go of what no longer works ready for deepening in the new cycle.
When we say ‘Why do we do this?’ but still continue doing it, there must be something we are still getting out of it that satisfies our needs. It is great we keep questioning and talking about these things so that one by one we can let go of anything that no longer serves us and inspire others that there is a different way.
Our appreciation of what life is offering us should never be dulled down by over indulging or being sentimental about any given time of the year.
The end of December is an opportunity to reflect on the year and to reconnect with people in preparation for the year that is coming.
The ending of the year which is an ending of a yearly cycle has been hijacked by certain mainstream religions, I have read that this was came about because back in history many people celebrated the ending of the year, the mid winter solstice it was called and to bring those people into the religion that was dominating that time in history it was decided by the few to add the birth of Jeshua with the group that celebrated the mid winter solstice and that’s how we got Christmas which if it is true is a completely fabricated lie. It’s like so many lies if it is repeated often enough it becomes a reality even though it is actually a lie.
Christmas has become a review time, a time to get together with loved ones and a time to consider what next, to take the time to see what worked and what needs refining, and the more I’ve let go the old ideas of how Christmas should be celebrated, the more I love it and the space it offers for us to stop and reflect.
Christmas is an opportunity to take stock, confirm and go deeper.
Habit vs Connection ; how much of them did we actually live and bring to our Christmas play?
I love that how you took time to distance yourself from Christmas and redefined what that is for yourself and how you would spend it. There are things in life we just go along with even though we don’t really like it because it’s a habit/tradition that has been going on for years, but I am realizing more and more how toxic this complacency is, and to override our true feelings to not rock the boat.
This year with Christmas dinner one of our family members was too sick to be there and we all missed that person not being there deeply, but when I brought it up this was not a topic considered ‘appropriate’ for Christmas. This made me wonder how many pictures and ideals dominate our conversations in specific days or certain times of our lives: there are so many events where we all have to be happy, whether it is your birthday, a holiday or dinner out. How about we give ourselves space to be where we are and permission to communicate about that?
And who decided the topic was not ‘appropriate’ for Christmas, did they tell you what then to talk about. Obviously it seemed control and beliefs were appropriate. What a crazy world we live in.
What if we could wake up each morning in appreciation of the new day ahead, celebrating what we have to offer to all, and what is on offer for us in the day ahead, celebration of what life brings can be our every day not just one day of the year.
Confirming and celebrating what is true, what supports our evolution.
If we made every day about quality and appreciation it would be the best gift we can ever give ourselves and others.
Lovely, making each day about our energetic quality, confirming and appreciating what is true.
Humanity times itself in cycles like christmas and birthdays, and yet the cycles of the universe are so profound so far reaching, and these are the cycles that are truly dictating our lives.
CJames I was listening to a presentation by Natalie Benhayon on cycles and there are so many cycles within cycles, there are cycles of the stars and universe to included the second by second cycles we live within. It felt as though we actually live within an intricate gossamer dance that we no longer have the footsteps to perform because we have become too fixated and engrossed in time, whereas the movement of space is within the cycles we have forgotten about. But whether we know this as our conscious presence or not we are all on the Great Cycle of return back to God.
When we managed to extricate ourselves from these rituals that have become the norm, and yet hold no substance whatsoever, we can start to celebrate truly what there is to celebrate in our lives, and the amazing choices that we have made, if we have made them.
And then I say to myself, well that’s a blueprint for every day isn’t it? Deeper connection with others, greater appreciation. So why not make it so? Perhaps we should coin the phrase ‘appreciation is not just for Christmas’.
Being more connected with others, whilst being more appreciative of them; how great to bring that into our everyday.
Christmas is all about connection, spending time with family and loved ones, connecting with each other, so much of the hype and anxiety about Christmas could be eliminated if we realised the greatest gift is to be ourselves fully, and offer our presence as the present for others.
And Jill why wait for Christmas to love and spend time with family we can do this everyday even if they live far away from us we can hold them in the love that they can feel. I have family that live all over the world and I hold them in love, which is as you say to
“offer our presence as the present for others.”
That is such a heart felt expression thank you
Christmas today for most exposes the lack of connection to ourselves for when we are with ourselves in stillness nothing not even Christmas and everything that comes with it is greater than the connection to ourselves and to others.
Christmas has become a present-fest in society. But if we strip this back and look at what lies behind that, to me it seems that people are wanting to express their love and connect with others. It just so happens that they do this via presents. The presents are not necessary and we can have the love and connection without them ,but for some presents are the means by which they express.
Yes I agree there are a lot of extra things that if anything take away from the real meaning of Christmas in my opinion.
I live overseas a long distance away from my immediate family and I spent many years trying to post presents every Christmas when the postage often cost more than the present and I found it really difficult to find a gift I wanted to give that I could post. Then one year I discussed it with my family and they were feeling the same thing so we agreed not to send any gifts at Christmas. It took all the stress out of it and now it is more about catching up with them on Skype rather than the presents.
For many, Christmas is a great excuse to over indulge, and be too tired or exhausted to play with the children, so they end up getting expensive electrical gadgets to keep them entertained, yet Christmas is really a time for family and friends sharing an intimate time together, where you feel the love, the joy and the laughter from your heart.
It seems the true meaning of Christmas has been lost, and it is now a very expensive and stressful time for many people. We can always bring it back to simplicity and simply connecting with people.
Every Christmas when I do something out of obligation I say not next year, so next year is coming around again and I can feel that pulling obligatory emotion there to just cave in and do it but it serves no one. It in truth only serves ‘need’ and ‘recognition’ but there is no love in it.
I wonder how common it is for people to do something ‘out of obligation’ over the Christmas period. Totally unloving for all concerned.
It is quite interesting to observe the anxiety and stress many people get into around Christmas time. There are many pictures and ideals around Christmas that spoil people just enjoying the simple company of family and friends and celebrating the connection we all share.
Anna I agree you just have to walk into any shopping centre in the run up to Christmas everyone can feel the high levels of anxiety everyone is in, but everyone is in such anxiety we do not stop to question why we are all so anxious. I find it fascinating that this one time of the year when people are supposed to get together as a family in brotherhood etc. Yet according to research there is a peak in domestic abuse over the Christmas holidays so what is that telling us about the fake and falseness of Christmas and the falseness of ‘Goodwill to all mankind’?
Often we carry on with a long-held tradition/custom just for the sake of it being a tradition and it is actually only the carcass that has remained and no one quite knows why we are doing what we are doing, but we carry on doing it anyway without ever questioning it really.
Some of these old traditions really need examining, are they really loving and supporting our evolution, or the opposite. Maybe it is time to listen to and honour what our body is conveying to us.
I had an ah ha moment the other day when I was trying to decide what to do for Christmas day. The moment that I realized I have always reacted to the lack of connection on Christmas day. It’s a day I am to spend with family in connection and the lack of connection within my family is right in my face. This year I can feel how it is me that brings this connection to my family- a purposeful Christmas it will be this year.
What a great realisation Kim, I’ve also reacted to the lack of connection when visiting family for Christmas but what was I doing? Equally not connecting and waiting for others to do it first… doesn’t quite make sense when I put it like that.
Exactly Aimee, I seemed to have had the same theme running when it came to being love. Show me love first and then I will love you. A great way to not live responsibly and be all the love we are.
Yes that’s it Kim, when we fall into ‘you do it first’ then we are in separation and contributing to the inequality that we are all sons of God and are all able to connect to love in an instant.
As a child I always loved Christmas Day because I would get to see all of my cousins and family together. However, often there would be tensions, arguments and fights between the adults and it was then that my attention would turn towards the presents and focusing on these as a way of trying to avoid what was going on and to try to find some ‘love’ in the day- if they got me a good present then they do love me type of thing.
I was out shopping with a friend today and noticed Christmas decorations. There was a fleeting moment where I realised we have no plans, but then said to myself that’s perfectly OK. I no longer make it a big deal and get stressed with all the hype. It’s an opportunity to get together with friends and family just like we do throughout the rest of the year.
Christmas is one of those stones many people bump into year after year with identical results year after year. In a sense, it is a reflection of life and all of the stones we bump into from time to time. If we only pay attention to them and give them the particular importance they have (repetitive situations we find ourselves into this time) just to make sure not to repeat what happens while we face them, we then move forward.
When we celebrate being together with family and friends just to celebrate who we are and spending time together it is a gift that keeps on giving throughout the cycle of the year.
Christmas now for me is similar to how I theme many days throughout my year – rest, appreciation, take stock and accept how far I have come and where I am at.
Yep, makes sense to me! I decided some years ago to let go of the expectations around Christmas, because what I noticed was how depressed people around me would be during that time as the picture of the hustle and bustle dining table would never eventuate. As a result I would dread it myself, as I felt so uncomfortable at the disappointment being experienced. Today, I see it as any other day and just welcome whatever happens and not have an idea of how it should look. It’s a million times more enjoyable without the pressure!
Christmas is considered a religious holiday for Christianity yet in the 2016 Census 30% of Australians stated they had no religion – which is making me wonder how many of them still celebrated Christmas day?
Thanks Nicole… A perfect example of how a manufactured ritual can become such a part of society that, even when the emptiness and shallowness of it is felt, it is extremely difficult to… kick the habit so to speak. The amount of guilt and emptiness and expense compounds… Just look at Mother’s Day for example.
There is no doubt that for many the meaning of Christmas is overshadowed by the stress and pressure which sadly has become the norm. Any holiday regardless of the meaning should have true connection with self and others as the foundation for any celebration, just like any other day really.
Oh so simple Nicole and it’s become something more complicated. I think its great that people are questioning and asking is there more to Christmas than what I see on TV or in the shops. It shows that we know there is inherently more and that we no longer want the pretence.
Christmas is a great time to be with each other. The rest is just sheer indulgence and excess – not fun.
As more christmas’s pass, I let go a little more each year of what I believe Christmas should look like in terms of the amount of ‘fun & excitement’ I expect to have along with letting go of the expectation that it will be a flop. What I notice however, is that although I no longer have a strong attachment to all it has represented for me in the past, I still get caught up in it at the last minute. The consciousness around Christmas feels so ingrained and so strong, that it’s so very interesting how quickly we fall into an old pattern.
It’s so true Nicole we say yes to so many obligatory things like “Christmas” but rarely stop and think about the real meaning of it all, mostly justifying it because it’s what we grew up with or it’s what everyone else is doing.
How can a true celebration be an endurance event or something that is dreaded or regretted by many? This exposes already how we have got very muddled up when it comes to what this day is actually about.
Crazy Christmas time, I managed to come out feeling pretty amazing this year. It was almost weird how easy it was and in this ease it felt as if everyone around us was cruising too. I bought a few things for the kids on Friday with my husband before Christmas and even that we breezed in and out with no stress. On the day everyone brought a plate and the ease in which it was brought together was remarkable. I almost felt like someone was missing and I think it was the hint of drama that I have become accustomed to.
I have wondering this year that perhaps all the present giving is something we do to compensate for the lack of love and connection we feel at this time of year more acutely.
This is a great invitation for me to stop and feel what I accept and do as a habit, without questioning the meaning or purpose. Like, I visit my mother regularly – used to be almost every week, but now less frequent because of work, but I do. It feels like there would be more to be appreciated if I take the opportunity to really understand and embrace whatever that is being offered.
Christmas is a great time to be with friends and family, celebrating and enjoying being together, no emphasis on food or presents or outer looks. No need to because of the appreciation we have of ourselves and our lives, This does away with the pressure of the must have best Christmas dinner ever with a huge shopping list, standing hours in the kitchen, getting exhausted and feeling relieved with this festive season is over.
A very timely read (day before Christmas day) and reminder of what Christmas truly can be about when we step back from all the hype and stress of the perfect ‘picture’ of Christmas. Up until I moved countries nearly 3 years ago, leading up to Christmas was full of stress, obligation and making things perfect on that ‘one’ day. Instead of making it about appreciating what the year has been, how we are in our connection with ourselves and the relationships we have deepened or opened up to around us. The obligation thing feels awful for the person receiving and the person giving.
I too remember going to all the Christmas parties and all the hype around Christmas, growing expectations and disappoints too. Now I enjoy a simple time having the family and friends around for a meal, where we celebrate each other, a chance to talk and just be.
We can. If we choose, actually celebrate ourselves, our friends, our families, our partners and our lives whenever we choose, and however we choose…. The thing is , it is a choice, and that’s the rub
This Christmas I am planning to simplify even more than I did last year. Children seem to receive too much in our more affluent country. So much is given throughout the year that I feel as many others that to enjoy a loving, harmonious day with family and friends is a beautiful and joyful way to celebrate the day!
Christmas for me used to be about over eating and drinking. I would usually have had several drinks way before Christmas lunch was ready, and that scene of conking out in front of the TV afterwards is very familiar. When you take away the excessive eating and drinking what’s left? Well the present buying can be very stressful and expensive. Last year our family did a secret Santa where we all picked a name out of a hat and bought a present for one person. That worked very well. This year as Christmas approaches I am looking at it as a wonderful opportunity to rest and connect with friends and family.
A great blog Nicole, it feels time to bring the Christmas cheer and celebration into our lives everyday – why wait for one day of the year to truly connect and appreciate ourselves and those we love.
We seem to have lost our way in what a true ‘celebration’ can really be, don’t we… Instead of celebrating and cherishing the connections between people, affirming our love for ourselves and those around us, we have replaced the true and rich value of such love with consumerism, ‘things’ and indulgences – it’s most definitely time to review where we are at, and look at what really matters.
For it is the quality of love that we live that goes with us when we pass over from this life. The extravagance, credit card debt and stresses are worth questioning – are they really worth it? And are we not all worth so much more?
It’s interesting to read this blog following reading a blog about weddings… In the plethora of presents, food, drink, and expectation that we have to gather at this time, it seems that the true essence of what Christmas time can be has been lost.
It is up to us, to step out of the fray and make it about true meaning and connection again, isn’t it… If we so choose.
Very much appreciating that you have voiced the craziness here in this blog Nicole, thank-you.
Instead of seeing each occasion as separate and a stand-alone celebration what would happen if the appreciation of every celebration we experience was actually built on and considered a foundational part of our development from one day to the next?
I love sharing Christmas with loved ones and friends, but like to keep it low key – simple presents for the grandchildren and a simple shared meal. Unless I have a shared game or gift in mind I do not give the presents to the young ones until a few weeks or so after Christmas because it would be an overload. I’ve dropped the Christmas card ritual too.
What a bummer that we have made Christmas an idealised feast – whilst it is actually about true connection and celebration of what already is. This makes total sense as there is nothing we should try or pretend – just be and celebrate like any other day of connection. Which totally kicks out any ideals that it is about family only and that the measure that it can come with – only this family – but actually the truth is that we are whole big one family. As connection is connection no matter with whom. So therefore we must not seek the ideal and dig further into that – but stay out and truly connect with one another.
Why do we do it when most of us don’t like the way it’s being done? Maybe we just don’t know how to celebrate properly. Maybe we don’t know that there is a way to celebrate without eating and drinking too much. I guess we’ll have to try our way with this. I know a lot of people that skip a lot of the “traditional” things around Christmas such as buying too much presents. I know I love coming together with family.
Thank you Nicole I have seen Christmas as a time of reflection and appreciation but had not considered that the celebration aspect could also be about celebrating where I am and from there going forward into the new year to build on this platform of self-love ready to evolve with whatever life presents.
For me what I choose to do at Christmas is constantly evolving, it has tended to be low-key for a number of years with my wider family choosing to get together sometime over the period but often the day itself being quietly spent. One aspect of the wider expectation I have struggled with is sending Christmas cards and I feel I have been in reaction to this for many years. I expressed over 30 years ago that I didn’t see the point in sending Christmas cards to people I worked with but until recently was still sending them to neighbours, who for me it is more important to truly connect with when we meet in the street at any time of year. In the last couple of years I have sent virtually none but continue to use it as an opportunity to connect with friends and family further afield who I rarely have contact with. Until the end of his life my father sent out lots of cards (with increasing help from the family) and always insisted in putting a message in each because he did not see the point of getting a card with no news in it. It is interesting to reflect on where I am still affected by the belief that people will feel snubbed if I don’t send them a card with a snowy Xmas scene on with just my name inside?!
“I got to feel that Christmas was a time that I wanted to spend with people dear to me, with friends and family. It is a time to celebrate who I am, and reflect on what I have, and appreciate where I am at. I then take that deeper appreciation and self-love with me into the new year.” Beautiful. Christmas can be so exhausting – especially for the hosts – who want to make it ‘perfect’. Far better to appreciate and celebrate with loved ones and let go of the commercial aspects of it all.
It really is an extraordinary ritual that is so fraught for virtually everyone with credit cards maxing out , a big spike in domestic violence, and this is meant to be a celebration… let us return to true celebrations that support and nurture us all.
Nicole, you have chosen a beautiful gift for yourself and those around you by celebrating each other.
As we connect to a much more intuitive and harmonious inner awareness we will find our rituals and celebrations naturally evolving.
I love the concept of making Christmas about connection and for it being a time to celebrate you and reflect and appreciate. That feels so much more beautiful than the pressure and obligation that Christmas has become.
I feel this, too, Christmas is a celebration of self-love, love, brotherhood, to appreciate oneself and another. This can be celebrated every day of the year. Now that we have chosen this special time of the year to celebrate it, it gets really obvious where we as a humanity stand concerning self-love, love, brotherhood, appreciation… In preparation of the ceremony we make sure that we are as far checked out as possible.
Christmas always feels quite empty for me, almost an obligatory time to get together. While it could be the celebration of all the connections we have with ourself and others, and come together to enjoy our company without any obligations or expectations just be together. But other than that, an ordinary day could also just be that, so christmas isn’t truly special…
I woke up this morning, feeling the beauty and clarity all around me, feeling the gathering momentum of the coming change of the moon cycle to motion from 3 terms of repose, looking out at a very still sunny spring morning with delicate birdsongs, and felt … this is indeed a celebration of yet another day.
When we think about being delicate, vulnerable and honest, then think about Christmas, it seems sad that so much of the festivity comes from a false sense of celebration.
We do need rituals and rhythms in our lives but more and more we are finding our established rituals are empty and commercialised… could it be that a paradigm shift of celebration is in order and that with this shift would be much more of an honouring of who we truly are.
Yes, I agree cjames2012. If the idea of celebration was really pulled apart and rebuilt with its true meaning then the whole concept of Christmas and other major public holiday times would be completely different. People would gather together in a very different way to what happens now.
Christmas has held many meanings for me over the years but now I have stepped back from it to a large degree. We do still spend time with family, which I enjoy, but it is none the less kept low key. I do struggle with the blatant commercialism that goes on at this time of the year and the way people go into overdrive and stress modes in order to be doing what they perceive is the ‘right thing’. Then there is another side and that is the rise in domestic violence, suicides and drug and alcohol abuse. All in all there really is a huge toll which society is generally unwilling to acknowledge.
“The extra stress and pressure people put themselves under to make sure that the day is perfect, whether it be with food, alcohol and/or gifts, is enormous.” The joy that we can so easily bring to another can be easily forgotten through the stresses of the Christmas panic. Thank you for this great sharing Nicole.
‘I can’t wait for it to be over’. I hear that every Yuletide, from all around the place. So why don’t people vote with their feet? I don’t mean getting away from it all, but rather choosing not to get into it at all. Why do we go along with a set of expectations, ideals and traditions that have become empty in meaning and devoid of true purpose? Is it because we don’t want to stand out and look bah humbug? It’s inspiring how you’ve seriously considered what the whole shebang means to you and made it much more true for you – about reflection, appreciation and self-love. It feels a great way to close down the year and prepare for the next one.
For me your description of Christmas is a great reflection of how we live our daily life. It is just a very extreme version but it shows what we expect from life and others.
I have opted out of the Xmas thing some time ago, and what a relief, no more trying to fit in to the idea of presents, parties and the over indulgence of food and drink. These days it is more a family and friends celebration coming together to share ourselves with each other. I love the celebration of who I am, reflect and appreciate where I am at. It would be beautiful to have this consistently throughout my days.
The Christmas parties I see always feel ” fake” because family members not really meet each other – it is a duty to fulfill and that’s it….very sad. I love this time of the year, exactly because of the reasons you were sharing. It is a time to celebrate who I am, and reflect on what I have, and appreciate where I am at. I then take that deeper appreciation and self-love with me into the new year.
I love this time too as a period of space to appreciate and consolidate all that has been lived in the past year and all there is to come in the next one.. there’s always more to learn and more to live.
Ho Ho Ho, Christmas ’tis the season to fill your ledgers with black ink at the cost of all, to over spend, eat and drink to excess. To gather up our families for the once a year festival to feud and fight and for lonely ones to suffer in silence. To spend money we don’t have to buy things we don’t need. Have we all forgotten what Christmas is all about? I agree with you Nicole, it is a time to appreciate and reflect who we are and how far we have come and bring that love with us into the new year.
It is so true Nicole what you have shared and exposed about Christmas and how we celebrate – thank you. We often celebrate from an impulse outside of ourselves to fit in or follow the ‘norm’ of what should be done for it to be a proper celebration. However I too have realised from distancing myself from the hype of Christmas that a true celebration comes from an impulse from within, and that it can be on any day or even better every day. That gifts and presents are not necessary but that the quality of our presence is the greatest gift that we can share. And that Christmas presents a beautiful opportunity to celebrate the loving connections we share with each other.
The meaning of Christmas is definitely lost. It is so commercialised now, it’s all about the mighty dollar. People race around in total disregard for themselves and others trying to buy the perfect gift for a couple of seconds of recognition from the receiver. Then on top of that there is the food and going to the supermarket on Christmas Eve to buy it which is just crazy town. And all the Christmas parties you have to attend which requires you to drink and be merry. People are exhausted even sick before Christmas day even arrives. I agree with Nicole, Christmas day should be about honouring ourselves, family and friends. To me it’s a time to be together and enjoy each others company. Just like our birthday’s, Christmas day should be celebrated every day.
I like how you’ve flipped Christmas upside down here Nicole. Rather than trying to make the end of the year the all and put effort into celebrating something, what about celebrating the whole year that’s gone by? But I do get the sense that if we don’t appreciate or celebrate our lives at all throughout the year how would we celebrate at the end? Overeating, indulging, partying, overspending is done throughout the year but seemingly magnified at the end as that is what we have build up throughout the year. Yet at Christmas we have this picture of being with our ‘loved ones’ that we may only come into contact with once a year (at Christmas). It makes me wonder then how would Christmas look if we appreciated ourselves, friends and family took that into the festive period?
What you have shared about Christmas with its massive and excessive build up and the subsequent post Christmas let down is so true Nicole.
Further, no one day of the calendar year is anymore important than the other. Coming back to and appreciating the simplicity of what is truly important in everyday life and actually celebrating that everyday allows life to be far more enjoyable. Beautiful blog thankyou.
Your last paragraph says it all Nicole, thank you. I notice now that my little girl is now in prep that there is so much excitement and rah rah put on the children at these times of the year. We are just only now getting over all the songs and carry on that was made about Easter. I love how you shared that is about connecting with family and celebrating you. Thank you.
“When we were young it was all about the presents, … ”
… this sentence sparked the memory of our amazing Christmas mornings and how awestruck I felt seeing all the presents there for us four children. Looking back now with adult eyes, I firstly see the huge amount of work it was for our parents to arrange all this, not to mention the expense, however because it was ‘normal’ I took it for granted and assumed it was this way for everyone. When I look deeper I can see that it is the expression of immense love from our parents … what loved children we all were and are … even though they did not express love verbally so much, their actions were very loud (and loving). I so appreciate that this blog sparked this deeper awareness, thank you, Nicole.
Beautifully said Nicole. There is a lot of pressure to conform yet many don’t like what Christmas has become, hence the emptiness that is experienced around this time.
I can mirror your reflections here on Christmas and I am gradually deepening my commitment to what I feel. Last Christmas I felt that I still got caught in trying to please, making presents for my family that meant that I was rushed and arrived late to Christmas lunch and in doing so, lost my capacity to bring my light. I do feel it can be lovely to offer a gift but that perhaps I could think about this throughout the year so that that it doesn’t become a push at the end. Then again, my preference would be to drop gifts altogether because it obscures the focus away from real presence.
I enjoyed reading about how you make it a time to reflect, celebrate and appreciate yourself and where you are at. This then allows us to share this connection with others.
I have to agree with you Nicole, it is the same for me – it appeared that the meaning and purpose of Christmas had been lost and it became increasingly difficult to go along with it the older I got. It felt like it had become something that we celebrate out of habit, rather than what we feel we should do, in the way that we feel it should be. Now, I love buying a little gift that is meaningful and loving for my family and friends at odd times throughout the year… they are now starting to cotton on that I am celebrating them, and not just a commercially invented day that is housed in the disguise of being a celebration of Christ’s birthday. What a joy it is now to celebrate the 25th December, as a confirmation, of what we celebrate in others everyday of the year.
I love what you’ve shared here Nicole, to actually see Christmas as a time to reconnect, appreciate and consolidate how we have been living throughout the year feels like a much truer way to be. I can feel a definite change coming in the way I see Christmas this year.
If the gifts that are shared during Christmas could speak and tell what the real feelings of the ‘gifter’ are and how this person really feels towards the one receiving it, what we know as Christmas would not last another Christmas. Uncovering what the presents try to cover up would be such an amazing exercise of honesty!!
Christmas, shops full of shoppers and companies with bulging profits. I’ve noticed over the years, expectations of children getting bigger and parents buying more lavish presents year on year. It makes me wonder where it will all end. A meal or a walk shared with family or friends makes Christmas for me, as it does any time of the year.
Christmas was always a little dysfunctional in my childhood, it’s lovely to have re-imprinted this time with simple meals with friends… Really just another day of celebration.
I have been thinking a lot lately about Christmas and how I still allow myself to get pulled into the way it has always been. I was wondering what the reaction from my family, and especially my grandchildren, would be if I decided that as far as I am concerned Christmas was cancelled. A few days later I was turning the pages of my calendar and as I got to November I realised that it was stuck to December so I very carefully pulled the pages apart. But as careful as I was something ripped, and when I turned the now free page to December, I laughed out loud, as where Christmas Day was supposed to be was a big hole, every other day was there but the 25th was nowhere to be seen – now it that a message for me or what?
I was thinking recently that Christmas seems closer to the middle of the year than It used to . Some people celebrate ” Christmas in July” to experience what a cold Christmas is like, or sometimes to feel more at home when they are from a cold climate and celebrate Christmas in winter in their own country of origin. I quite like Christmas, the family get togethers and joyful connections with old friends it can be fun and brings to the fore Loving and sharing. If we could hold that joy and love for each other for the rest of the year how marvellous would that be?
That is just beautiful Nicole. Why make Christmas about giving gifts when it can be all about spending time together and enjoying being together and take that lovely foundation to everyday?
It feels to me that there are quite a few things in our society that we do as part of tradition but we don’t actually enjoy and we don’t even know why we are doing it. Every moment has a potential to be experienced with the richness of love and joy, but we get so caught up with the formality and we seem to have lost the connection which might have been there when that ‘special’ occasion – such as Christmas, Mothers and Fathers Day etc. – first happened.
I actually like Christmas but have been put off by the commercial touch to it but that doesn’t mean I can’t reclaim what Christmas really is about for me. I rather not buy lots of gifts but eat great food and hang out with people that I love.
What you share is so true, Nicole.There is so much pressure to make this one day of the year ‘extra special’ and perfect, and many strive for that at all costs. Since coming to the work of Universal Medicine, our family has also let go of all the ideals, beliefs, duties and obligations that we had about Christmas. We now chose to make it a simple day, where we share a simple meal that does not require anyone to be slaving in the kitchen for hours on end. We celebrate our family without the need for alcohol or sugary treats. Far from the hectic rush that Christmas was for us before, it is now a day of rest and at the end of the day we all feel amazing.
I love your questioning of Christmas – society has been sold by the commercial world that more is better and it’s all about that expensive gift, very elaborate decorations and excessive food. I agree it’s really about time with people dear to you and reflecting on the year. Keeping it simple and expressing your love to each and everyone.
I feel very much now that Christmas can be a time for family and friends to come together to enjoy being with each other, however I can still get caught up in having to buy presents and prepare something special for a meal. Being and sharing a meal together at any time is worth celebrating, so why wait until Christmas?
My experiences of Christmas have been always very lovely. Growing up in Japan I did not always receive presents but it never bothered me. To me Christmas was a lead-up for New Year and time for our family to be together which was quite rare (my father was always away on business). The way Christmas is celebrated here in Australia was quite new to me (big parties and lots of alcohol) and, to be honest, it does not feel like Christmas at all to me. As written by Nicole, it is a time to reflect on the passing year and prepare for the coming year. I also would like to mention about the fact that Christmas happens in the middle of the summer in Australia does not help, I feel. For the human body to be in the feeling of “reflection”, colder weather of winter helps.
Nicole what a beautiful way to now observe the festive/christmas season and into the upcoming new year. Without stress, typical family conflict, drain or debt as you describe, but instead with ease, joy, togetherness and the true cheer of love – all because we are this love 365 days of the year.
You are spot on Nicole Serafin about how you describe Christmas is dealt with in society. I love the way you nowadays celebrate Christmas, to celebrate who you truly are and where you are at with loved ones.
When I stopped celebrating Christmas, I got to feel the huge pressure I had put myself under for years, by allowing myself to get caught up in the rat race and the hype that surrounds the 25th December. Now I love to spend the day, the same as I spend every other day, without the expectations for it to be a certain way.
Nicole you have put meaning back into Christmas by making it about yourself and then automatically it becomes about others. Interestingly we have sucked all meaning out of Christmas by pretending that it’s about others. It is not, it is about upholding a ritual that not only does not support us to be who we truly are but takes us away from the truth of who we are.
Thanks Nicole its always lovely to read your blogs and this is no exception, why do people say they don’t like it and can’t wait till its over and yet they keep on keeping on. Christmas – the massing together of people, sons of God, the massing of Christ, one large relationship workshop.
Nicole, an honest summing up of what has Christmas become. That the festive season is a time to celebrate ourselves, reflect on what we have and appreciate where we are at and take that deeper self love and appreciation into the new year feels like a truly joyful way to be.
I too started to question my feelings around Christmas and stopped buying presents a few years ago. It felt like such a pressure to buy the right gift, and make the day perfect. I enjoy it so much more now the pressure is off and with less expectation.
Christmas represents something we long for but don´t get by holding on to the usual routine. We need to first connect with ourselves to then enjoy meeting our loved ones and make it a celebration that is worth to be called a celebration – a celebration of the love we share with each other. And then of course it is not limited to once a year but every time we meet.
Your summation of Christmas is spot on. For me it seems like it is a time of year that is laced with obligation and an unrealised desperation to live up to a commercial ideal and so your choice to rediscover it is inspirational. Thank you for sharing another way.
It’s great Nicole that you have been looking at a deeper meaning of Christmas and what it means for you. It can be so easy to get caught up in the rat-race and hum drum of that time of year and so to take time out and reassess is very important and great that you have shared this on-line too.
Christmas has become a burden of what we are all expected to ‘do’. I stopped sending cards several years ago and felt a great pressure lifting, we have gradually stopped conforming to the expected ‘norm’ and enjoy a time of family being together. I no longer get caught up in the drama and artificial glitter and enjoy a gentle walk in nature to celebrate the year.
A very insightful blog,filled with truth and wisdom. thank you Nicole.
An insightful article into christmas and the patterns and beliefs it can be lived from. It’s great to see these as they are and a completely different way to be at this time. Thank you.
I agree Nicole that Christmas seems to be a bit like a bad habit that we just keep doing without really stopping and considering why. And like most habits I guess it is designed to distract or relieve us from something else that we are avoiding perhaps in our lives?
Christmas has for a long time been exploited by the commercial world to make everyone think happiness comes with things. I see the holiday at the turn of the year as a time for everyone to come together and mark the completion of the cycle of the year and welcome the next cycle as we pass the shortest day and gradually enjoy the lengthening days and increasing light. A time of celebration of family near and far, a time to stop, reflect and step into the light.
The word Christmas has now lost it’s true meaning. To many it’s time off work, school holidays, over eating and drinking. Lets bring back the real meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of Christ.
Beautifully expressed Nicole, with swirl and flow your article captures the ‘madness’ of Christmas, I love how you write, thank you
Nicola. After reading your blog again, I was wondering what it would be like if christmas was cancelled this year around the world, I wonder what people’s feelings would be. We would still celebrate the birth of Christ. But no expensive presents, lavish food bills, no large credit card bills in January.
Nicole we seem to have lost the meaning of Christmas. Christmas now starts in September, with shops displaying it goods, and all the TV and newspaper adverts.
You watch people in supermarkets, filling their baskets to overflowing, as though it was the last food they would ever see. If you ask people what Christmas meant to them, not many would know what to say.
To me, Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Christ, also time when families to get together.
There are many people in this world who cannot afford to celebrate Christmas, and for me this is an opportunity to send out love.
Beautifully expressed Mike. Christmas is just one day, how about instead of making it about just one day we treat people year round like we think Christmas should be. Lovingly connecting with self first then from that loving space connecting to family and friends.
Well said Judy – I could not agree with you more. Having connections with our loved ones occurs all year round. All this focus on one day is just so stressful and leaves everyone exhausted at the end of it.
We didn’t have Christmases growing up in the Balkans so when I came to England and into my ‘adopted British family’ I felt the strangeness and ridiculousness that this ‘holy-day’ was meant to be. To me it all seemed to boil down to: give me, so that I can give you (gifts that is and mainly unwanted ones at that!). In the beginning I did the classic: if you can’t beat them join them, but after few years I started to ‘rebel’ and point out that I was sure this ‘tradition’ was not a product of love for all. I stopped sending/giving cards some 10-15 years ago and over the years they stopped coming my way too, then presents… I used to have constant fights with my ex and his overwhelming desire to shower our children with presents on that very day to the extent that he wouldn’t buy them something they truly needed months before Xmas (even 1/2 year!!) so he could make the pile larger on 25th December. Crazy I told him! We are no longer in a relationship but still co-habit. This year a couple of weeks before Christmas he was looking for some electric toothbrushes for himself and then decided to get one for one of our boys who is at Uni in London. When he made a purchase he said (dead serious): This can be one of his Xmas presents. I looked at him (lovingly) and said (lovingly): How about you just give it to him for the love of him and because his dentist recommended and not call in Jesus as an excuse to give him what is needed?
If Christmas was meant to be a celebration of Christ’s birthday, he must be spit roasting in his grave watching the commercialism of the holiday it has become!
Thank you Nicole for expressing what Christmas truly means for you, I agree, we can choose what is important to us at this time, and the same goes for the New Year.
So many people I know or come into contact with during the day have shared they have been reshaping Christmas to what they feel it is for them and their families and are no longer being dictated to by all the commercial hype we are bombarded with at this time of the year. They want the simplicity of sharing a meal with family and friends – not an orgy of spending and gorging.
We all think it’s a joke when hot cross buns and Easter eggs are on the shelves after New Year, however, in truth it’s not funny at all. These ‘special days’ (we have been told we need to celebrate) are really all about ‘MONEY MAKING’ for big businesses and we know it!
Very good point Judy it is totally about ‘money making’ for big business and that’s a sad reflection that society has been sucked in by hype and lost the connection to simply celebrating love with family and friends.
Beautiful Nicole! I love the simplicity of your Christmas. Just beautiful.
I agree with you Nicole, I have not celebrated Christmas for a long time. I always felt a bit of a party pooper when I said I don’t send Christmas cards and don’t celebrate Christmas in the normal way. Working on the check-outs I get to see the frenzy that people go into. Very few are enjoying it, most are feeling the pressure of that one day looming up, will they have enough of everything? The crazy amounts that people spend on food and drink and then like a puff of smoke it is all over and there is a sigh of relief until next Christmas. All the items that are left over are sold cheaply as the store moves onto the sales. There is no time for reflection of your life if you are rushing around to have the perfect Christmas.
I love how you have reflected and taken time out to know what Christmas means to you. What you have then connected to sounds very beautiful and I can feel how truly supportive this time of year is for all of us as one year ends and a new one begins.
Thank you Nicole and Sallyscott2012, I agree, taking the time to feel the truth of what life shares on different occasions, allows clarity of whom we truly are. The brotherhood and connection to our self, family and friends is never truly lost no matter what time of the year. Having time to share with family and friends is a self-nurturing part of our community.
Hi Nicole, since I stopped celebrating Christmas I have started to enjoy it!! There always used to be a feeling of something false and empty about it. I assumed there was something wrong with me, but it was Christmas that felt wrong, not me!
I’ve found the same experience, Doug. I never saw much of a point in asking for things I could just buy for myself and also not have to wait until December 25th to use them. Now I see it as a regular day off work – no different to the rest.
I know exactly what you mean Doug. As I got older I couldn’t understand Christmas – the indulgences,the stress of shopping, the debt at the end of the month… and for what? I love spending the time with friends and family but we can do this all year round and not just kept and loaded on to one day of the year!
I just love this line dougvalentine: “since I stopped celebrating Christmas I have started to enjoy it!!”. It made me smile as I could feel the possibility you have offered. Thank you for giving me something to think about over the next six months until Christmas arrives again – I can definitely feel a change coming on!
Well said dougvalentine! I could not agree more. Christmas is loaded with obligation, expectation and stress. Since we stopped making it a big deal that occurs at the end of the year, it has become more about family, fun and really appreciating the love there for us.
I totally agree with Doug and Donna. There is a heaviness, obligation, expectation and stress. It also plays on your sympathy for the less fortunate especially the children. But when you take what Christmas has become out of the equation, it truly is a lovely day and everyone is so relaxed and enjoying each others company.
Awesome, Nicole a very insightful blog, that expresses what many people are/have also experienced, thanks for the articulation.