by Kim Schultz, NSW
With my work Christmas party coming up I tried to wiggle my way out of it, saying that I was too tired to go and that there was no dairy free/gluten free menu, thinking that they would put me in the ‘too hard’ basket. WRONG!… the boss solved the problem in five minutes, speaking with the chefs to cater for my food request and offering to have someone drive me to the event.
At the time I thought ‘Bugger!’ as all my attempts to avoid it had failed. To be honest, I was concerned with how I was going to communicate and what I was going to say to people who were drunk… ‘What are we going to talk about?’ ‘How am I going to connect?’ I was also anxious that I would be seen as a ‘party-pooper’. Still, I did feel the pull to go – and how awesome it was to revisit my past, as it turned out.
During the course of the dinner people got trashed. No-one seemed interested in speaking with me once they’d had a few drinks. I started to feel on the outer; I noticed that when I spoke, they didn’t seem to be able to concentrate and were walking off half-way through my sentences – not seemingly interested in conversation or connection. I didn’t feel one ounce of judgment as I realised that in the past when I was totally off my nut, I would avoid anyone who was ‘straight’ – ‘cause I felt they were not ‘on my wave length’. So on this night instead, I could feel how in the past I would have affected others who were trying to connect to me when I was in this same state.
No-one seemed to be truly connecting. People were leaving the table all the time to go out back and smoke – again I remembered that I used to do this. As I sat there, I felt how others must have felt with my leaving the table to ‘drag back a scoob’ and return to the table, and if not – not returning at all because the scoob would turn into ecstasy and I wouldn’t return home until the next day.
The manager gave a ‘thank you’ speech – whilst holding himself up against the table, as he was intoxicated. Everyone applauded the speech – I clapped automatically because everyone else did. In truth, I did not want to clap; I did only because I did not want to appear like a snob. After clapping I felt horrible, as I had supported something that did not feel right to me. In the past I would not have blinked – it would have all seemed very ‘normal’. But as this was the first time I have ever attended a Christmas function and not used any substances, I was able to truly feel how it felt having someone say ‘thank you’ when really drunk – I was literally thrown back into my chair as the words felt totally empty and cold and I felt unable to connect to him.
Once I got home I felt so blessed to have experienced the night, as it was deeply healing to have the reflection of how I had been living my life – using substances to numb myself – NOBODY HOME IN THIS BODY – so as not to feel how overwhelmed I was with life and the hurts I carried; not to mention the tons of abuse I allowed from others and to myself through not wanting to feel my deep emptiness.
The night also confirmed that I didn’t have to join in just to be like everyone else to feel a part of the gang. It also definitely cured any thoughts that I am missing out on ‘FUN’ – as I could clearly feel how people changed and totally disconnected from themselves and from me after consuming drugs and alcohol.
I felt the pull to go to this event and got a massive healing as I got to feel how I have lived – and the effects my behaviour may have had on others. This is the benefit of getting out there and being ‘in the world’ – not hiding in my own comfort.
The work crew still saw me as me being a stick-in-the-mud and a ‘weirdo’ for not drinking. The most beautiful side of it all was that there was nothing for me to do apart from just to be and feel. Since that night I certainly feel more dedicated to my health and well-being without the use of drugs and alcohol to ‘get through’ life.
As I continue to learn to love me, I look forward to offering a TRUE reflection of how life can be so that others can see that there is another way.
Much love to Universal Medicine and all involved, helping me to re-connect to truth, and to my true self.
Words on Serge Benhayon 
It is amazing when we go back into old situations where before we would have acted like it was all normal, because for some, and us previously, it was normal. But with fresh eyes much is revealed and often I find it confirms the choice I made to stop making whatever that was my normal.
I am attending an event where Alcohol flows like water, I got to my hotel very late at night along with other colleagues and the first thing they did before checking in was head to the bar to get ‘set up’. As you say Kim there is no judgement as years ago I would have done the same thing. What has changed for me is that since Universal Medicine came into being we have been given a choice which was something we didn’t have before; there was no choice. Now we have the choice of living a different way, connected to our bodies in such a way that we do not want to abuse it or anyone else. I prefer this way of living as it feels harmonious and more in keeping of how life can be.
We can be under pressure to drink at certain events until we are absolute about the fact that I no longer drink alcohol. I was never much of an alcohol fan, and back then those who did drink really pushed you to drink, whereas since I do not drink alcohol is absolute, it has simply been an accepted fact.
Interesting how our personal choice can become the reason to separate from others – drink, or not drink, eat certain food or not eat etc. Simple everyday choices, yet the way we respond/react clearly shows that we are so aware of energy beyond the physical obvious and the alignment that our each and every choice communicates back to us.
Fumiyo, what you have written is fascinating because we are all very aware of energy but as everyone says we avoid the feelings, why do we do this?
What a set up partying is as we have the expectation of others joining us in the wayward ways that seem normal but once we get the taste of a True Celebration that has none of the party element and is all about our connection then the Joy had by all is felt as it becomes a deepening, standard or normal.
A great way to have your past choices revealed and also an opportunity for others to feel that they too can make different choices.
I went to see some clients and over a cup of tea and biscuits they were telling me how much they enjoyed their Christmas party it seemed it was obligatory to get totally wasted and one of the young ladies was so intoxicated she threw up and everyone praised her for doing it so elegantly! I remember once being so drunk my body couldn’t cope with the amount of alcohol I had consumed and threw it all up. I was trying to fit in with the crowd, today I do not feel the need to fit into society and I have to say I am mighty glad I will not ever put myself through so much disregard again. I don’t feel that we are told the truth about how poisonous alcohol is and the damage it does to our bodies.
I went to a family wedding in Cyprus some years back, alcohol was free flowing, it was completely impossible to have a conversation with anyone as was described by Kim in the blog. Interesting to observe, what is truly happening to people.
Christmas is a challenge. It offers us the possibility to observe human misery, it ‘invites’ us to join in and to be together in ways that are deeply not it.
What a blessing to read and what an understanding I gain from reading this blog, thank you.
I’m learning this too, to not look at anything about the outer life of people, what they do or don’t choose, etc, and to simply connect to the essence of people. It’s very simple that way! Thanks for sharing Elizabeth, it was a beautiful comment to read.
What was lovely reading this again was feeling the lack of judgement, just an observation, a realisation of how life had been for you in the past, and a dedication back to loving yourself, with a respect to allow others their own choices. Once we say ‘yes’ to love what may have seemed normal in our past now shows itself as severely lacking and harmful. Life is so much the richer with love.
Sticking to what is true for us and not enjoining others’ normal creates friction and can be very uncomfortable at times. And I love that how you were able to stay in observation. Your sharing reminds me that it’s not just alcohol but whatever our choice is determines the kind of energy that gets expressed through us, and our choice to engage in that particular way of expression is again a movement that would then precipitate the next move, and then the next, and there actually is nothing personal to be taken there.
Like you Kim for a long time I never considered going out without having alcohol or my cigarettes with me. But now I go out and it’s like I have forgotten they even exist. Who said a leopard can’t change their spots….
That it is possible to celebrate without any substances, is something most people just can’t understand… It’s not in their lexicon. And that is not some pious semblance of joy… It can be true whole feeling of celebrating all of your body and your heart.
I gave up drinking alcohol many years ago now and I really love my life and the community that has developed around me since then. It seems to me that if a friendship is dependant upon what we choose to drink then it is not really on very solid ground.
You are right Richard, and there are so many instances where our social interactions are dependent upon actually not being present, being dulled to the point of not being able to feel. This is actually so and what does this say?
Every situation in life is a reflection and an opportunity to grow and learn.
It is that time of year again, the staff Christmas Party time. I was hoping to be able to put something on that was not just a booze fest this year. Being the one of the bosses, it is more difficult to avoid the party altogether, as I am the one that they are asking to run it. In the past, I have not paid for the staff to drink but they choose to with their own funds regardless. December has creeped up on me again and I want to think of something that might distract people from getting so trashed because as you describe in this blog, it’s not that interesting to be around, not to mention the smell and the loud talking in your ear. I love my staff and I love hanging out with them but when people get like that, it doesn’t really feel like your hanging out with them anymore.
Sometimes it’s great to have our past choices reflected back to us, as it gives us a clear understanding of how those choices affected myself and other people, it is quite a sobering moment. To be able to go out and totally be yourself without any drugs, alcohol or stimulants is something to truly celebrate.
Everything turns into a bizarre performance executed by disembodied human beings when we attend an event and don’t drink or take drugs, i.e. don’t try to alter who we are by what we ingest.
I love that you were able to confirm and appreciate who far you have come Kim, going to events such as these and learning to hold yourself whilst others indulge in alcohol or drugs around you offers a reflection that is inspiring and healing for many.
It is great that people are getting a different reflection, one where you do not have to take alcohol or drugs.
‘Getting smashed is fun’ is so not true. I too used to believe in that but it’s just an agreement that we want to believe and share under the influence of alcohol or some other mind-altering substances, and we all know it is not true. It’s a pact. When I used to drink, I wanted everyone around me to be drinking so that this lie would not get exposed.
Well, well Kim Shultz, your wild past revealed. It’s a beautiful moment when we get to revisit our past and see the incredibly loving changes we have made in our lives. It’s even more incredible when we have no judgment or reaction only understanding. It’s a great moment of appreciation.
The fact of being out with people who drink and have no possibility to connect to sober ones makes easier to understand why people may join in and drink so to avoid feeling being left out. Yet, in truth, those that have left their bodies are the drinkers. They are not there anymnore. What a fantastic situation to observe!
A great opportunity to have your past choices shown to you so clearly and perhaps unaware of the reflection you were offering to others that there is another way to be.
Hi Kim, I recently attended an event of similar circumstances.. I enjoyed me and where I was at with the love I felt for me and how I choose to honour me, and how much I now love my old mates by the depth of how much I love myself.
That’s awesome! I noticed this was written some years ago, I’d love to read a follow up story 4 years down the track, and no doubt many work functions past.
It is not only great to reflect on how we have chosen to live to in the past to now, but it is equally important to appreciate how our choices that are more loving have a ripple effect onto all the other parts of our lives equally.
It is great to appreciate how our choice to not drink is another loving choice we make for ourselves, building a foundation of love, which gets reflected out for all to see and feel.
On occasions where I have gone to the Christmas party to spend social time out side of work with my colleagues, I have loved spending time with them but once the drinks get flowing the conversation changes along with the bodies who are drinking the alcohol, and it is clear to see that they are no longer themselves. I do not choose to hang around too late otherwise I wake up feeling hung over myself.
What is fun about drinking a poison that makes you feel out of control of your movements? What is fun about being disconnected from your body so much so that you would drink the poison in the first place? I remember these sort of parties and how people felt so empty that they needed to do reckless things and stunts so they would have something to remember the night by and talk about for days to come. That, to me, is totally boring!
It is very interesting how we consider smashing ourselves as ‘fun’, as it is so clearly not fun at all if we allow ourselves to truly feel and observe what is going on. It seems that we just don’t know another way and how amazing and beautiful an alcohol and drug free evening out with friends or colleagues can be when you allow yourself to open up and connect to each other.
Isn’t it interesting that we can so easily just go along with applauding even when we don’t want to just so we appear to be fitting in. You’re right Kim, it does feel awful because in that moment we are completely dishonouring what we feel and as you pointed out Kim, are tacitly agreeing with and confirming what has been expressed with our applause.
I’ve never had an experience where I was drunk and was talking to people who were ‘straight’ but I can imagine from being on the straight side, it’s so clear to see how alcohol affects people and it wasn’t until I really let myself see that, I realised people are not themselves. General day to day conversations and life can be racy and tense hence why people seek alcohol to have an altered experience, but once getting to own life without this buzz the true settlement becomes quite appealing.
Settlement feels amazing, a quality I love being in more and more.
Saying no to the things that smash you and so going home at night feeling absolutely amazing and untouched is one of the best feelings ever, you feel like an invisible superhero because you chose what you know is true over what is there to bring you down.
I love how as you learn to love yourself and live a different and more loving way to that of your past, you are inspired to offer others a true reflection of another way to live… without this it is more than likely they will continue with harming behaviours because they haven’t yet been inspired themselves to bring love into their lives… so your reflection is greatly needed.
Reflections of living a way that is true, a way based on love, are definitely needed in the world today.
The choices of others are a mirror to our own, even if they are past choices. We learn so much from each other.
I loved what you shared Kim and the great healing you received from seeing more fully your past way of being and where you are now in you life. I too have had my past reflected to me recently, it wasn’t in drugs or alcohol but in being the good Christian, the not so “good” ugliness was revealed giving me a deeper understanding of how I had lived in the past and its effect on others. In our loving ways we can now offer a true reflection of how life can be when lived from the love we are and come from.
It’s great to see people not being to0 ‘precious’ and avoiding things that actually bring them more awareness about what is going on for them. People often hold themselves out of things because they believe or make a judgement call on what they perceive will be there. You don’t need someone else to connect, this is something you can do yourself and from there you don’t hold the world to ransom if they’re not there with you. We think we know the ‘right’ thing for everyone because it’s worked for us and yet this comes off as a pressure and actually stops them from seeing what they need to see. Living in the world and yet not attached to how it is is a truly freeing way to be for us all. There is much we can learn from any situation or relationship, no matter where you are or who you’re with.
Judgement on another is so capping, we are here to be love, to give another space, ‘We think we know the ‘right’ thing for everyone because it’s worked for us and yet this comes off as a pressure and actually stops them from seeing what they need to see.’
Great to be able to observe all this Kim and not take it on personally. I spent many years being the odd one out, and still am at some family engagements, but it doesn’t faze me in the least anymore either.
It is so interesting that instead of connecting to one another ‘the norm’ is to ‘get out of it’ with people. Having spent a considerable time around ‘out of it’ people when I was young as a four times pregnant or breastfeeding mother I soon concluded that parties were incredibly predictable and somewhat boring and that all the partying was going on in people’s heads as nobody was connecting with anyone. These kinds of parties could only be thought of as fun if you poisoned yourself by also being under the influence of a mind altering substance,
Once we taste the experience of the enjoyment of life without substances there is no pull to go back to that way of living. There is no contest as to which is the most pleasurable.
A sharing that we all could read and refresh our memories of so called “good times” we had drinking in the past! This is a great sharing Kim thank you for your honesty.
It sounds like the intoxicated people were avoiding you not because you weren’t on their wave length Kim, but because you exposed that the wave length they were on was self harming and not true to the divinity they are otherwise from.
This is a great case study. I remember how I used to use ‘being drunk’ as an excuse for my appalling behaviour, as if being drunk was an accident of some kind that I had no control over. This really makes no sense.
Re reading your sharing Kim is a bit scary when I look at how many parties were held over Christmas and will be over the New Year. What a sad state of affairs when it seems our( for some) only way to connect is through alcohol and drugs of some sort, without any effort to just be ourselves and let the connection evolve as it will.
It never used to occur to me before I began attending Universal Medicine that I actually had a choice to join in with what the majority were doing especially in situations which I thought were trivial. I also have overridden my body and clapped on numerous occasions but there came a time when I had to pause, reflect and ask myself was it worth it even if I stood out. It can be extremely uncomfortable when we choose to listen to ourselves in front of people who are choosing otherwise but the love in my body is getting stronger and there have been situations where I simply couldn’t follow suit.
It occurs to me reading this blog that perhaps what happens at a lot of work parties is that the group of staff sense the lack of real connection that has been there all along all year and then because that lack of connection gets more exposed in social setting, the easy fix for this is to quickly head for the booze and drugs to avoid feeling this lack of connection which of course makes it even worse.
It is so obvious really that we think that alcohol and drugs support us to be more sociable but really they are wedges that we drive between us that stop us from truly connecting with each other.
Great reminder Kim, I have found my colleagues over the last year are not drinking as much alcohol as they used to particularly as they have become more aware of the harm that it does, and the work place is beginning to be less tolerant about excessive drinking because it sends the wrong message out to younger members.
Why are young people not fully educated on the harms of alcohol, not only that alcohol is a poison, but the risks you put yourself under when under the influence of this substance.
Awesome blog. I too have the fear that I will be seen as a snob or party pooper. There is not a single part of me that wants to join in and so I prefer to avoid events like this. But your blog has changed that. What a beautiful offering to the others, to offer connection. We are all craving connection, get togethers are under the guise of connection yet so often that is not what goes on.
Having read your blog, Kim, I want to thank you for your wise words. The time is coming up for my work’s Christmas party and I have had feelings of ambivalence about going. You have confirmed for me how important it is to be present in every sense of the word, and go with no expectation whatsoever.
once we start to leave old habits behind, our eyes are opened, and we start to see what is really going on all around us… It is extremely revealing, and as we see and feel deeper and deeper, is even more startling what is actually going on, and what is accepted as normal.
Kim, thank you, I have struggled with being on the outer and have let myself be deeply hurt by those affected by alcohol. This weekend I will again be amongst those affected by alcohol. The difference is I now have a deep love for myself and the ability to understand another’s choices because of the love I hold. I am looking forward to bringing my love to the people I adore, no matter the choices they make.
Kim I really enjoyed reading this. Sure it may have felt not very nice, but as you say – this is getting out of comfort and seeing a reflection of choices you once made. It took me a big night out where I got so drunk I went to the bathroom and could not remember how to get back to the table in the restaurant we were at – so I spent an hr aimlessly walking around. I was scared. And that was a wake up call for me. And it was by reflection of what alcohol can do and how awful it can be that I said ‘no more’. I had to learn the hard way to really feel in my body how unloving I was being.
I can totally relate Kim, people at work look at me strangely when they find out I don’t drink coffee or drink alcohol. They usually think when you don’t drink that it means you just have wine – not sure why that is not considered alcohol to some. I still enjoy having a great time with them all at work and occasionally we go out together for dinner but I avoid the wild parties because as you have experienced there is no true connection going on at these times with anyone.
How powerful it is, when we don’t judge others for making choices – to drink, take drugs, etc. – that we’ve come to know as being abusive to ourselves…
I don’t drink alcohol at all these days either Kim, and yet once I used to drink quite a lot of the stuff. What I’ve found is that it’s not about ‘drinking/not drinking’, but rather if we are willing, looking at why we would intake such a known poison into our body? What’s going on, that something known to be so destructive, is consumed with such fervour, especially at ‘celebratory’ events? If we truly want to go there, and stop the ‘damage’ and harm to ourselves, there are deeper questions so worth exploring.
p.s. I feel fabulous without the stuff – could never, ever go back!
When we’ve made such changes in our lives, it’s indeed ‘sobering’ (if I may use the word here!) to look back on where we’ve been, and see it in all of its rawness. What’s especially powerful in reading your blog Kim, is to feel how the joy within you, and care of you, was innately so much greater than any influences that may have been around you, to join in on a version of ‘fun’ that you’d seen through completely. Very inspiring…
It is such a blessing to see our own present and past behaviours and patterns in both ourselves and others so we can continue to learn and understand ourselves and each other more and more with every lesson our everyday life gifts us with.
I have worked in my new job for two years now and have been associated with Universal Medicine for ten years. I have done four Christmas parties, one for staff and the other is management and for some strange reason after I started this new position there has been a complete turn over of staff in the office. In my first year, all eleven management personnel have left! The way I now live and what I do and don’t eat or drink has just been excepted as the way I choose to live. The staff party’s and the 11 office going away do’s I would have water with a slice of lime, make my appearance for an hour and leave.
The work crew might very well have labelled you a ‘stick in the mud’, But I feel pretty confident that before long you would have had colleagues talk to you about your choices and share with you that they wish they could do the same, and that they feel the pressure to join in out of habit. This has certainly been my experience.
What a great experience to help confirm that the choices you are making are supporting you to make more honouring choices for how you choose to live Kim. I have also had many experiences that have reflected back to me the choices I used to make. In honesty, it can be hard not to judge others in the beginning because you can now finally see how there is another way and all you want is for everyone to look after themselves.
Well you sure smashed that illusion Kim. Work Christmas parties would have to be one of the hardest trials to endure after someone has made the choice to give up drinking.
What an invaluable experience. I love how solid you were in that situation and so non judgmental, and I can imagine it would have been difficult. I also get anxious at the thought of attending alcohol fuelled functions as I no longer drink and find being around drunk people quite tedious. I also remember when I used to drink, that I was actually aware enough to feel that I myself was annoying and completely out of myself when drunk. I recall being very embarrassed at some of my actions, during the process not just after. Scary!
Not drinking alcohol is the best – and I could also say that drinking alcohol is the worst. I hated the feeling of not being totally there and being straight you can feel how not themselves everyone else is. The funny thing is that when you’re drunk you think you are not too bad but if you were to be recorded and have a look the next day you would probably not want to see.
This is great and shows how important it is to not retract into our own lives, but be out there and see what is going on in life, getting the reflections we need to heal what is in our bodies, constructing us to be all of who we are.
Awesome that you chose to use this experience to feel how you were in the past and to appreciate the different choices that you are now making without judging your work colleagues who are still caught up in the illusion that drink and drugs are the answer to the emptiness they are trying to escape.
Interesting that even when people are really drunk they still have a radar that means they avoid anyone who might reflect a truth they are as yet unwilling to see…
“Nobody home in this body’ is the perfect way to describe how we end up living a vastly reduced version of ourselves that greatly shies away from the gloriousness we truly are when we make the choice to not only stay home, but tend to the fire burning in the heart(h).
Kim, you DO offer a true and gorgeous reflection of how life can be so we all can see that there is another way. A way where we no longer need to hide, in full illusion that we are hiding from the world when in-truth we only ever hide from ourselves.
I love how the unfolding of the evening allowed you to recollect your own past choices and how they affected others. When we are able to see these things so clearly, it makes us appreciate the changes that we have made and how unimposing we can be simply by making different choices.
“The most beautiful side of it all was that there was nothing for me to do apart from just to be and feel.” Not reacting feels so good when we do so – also knowing we are not adding to harming – ourselves or others. I too have had experiences like this. I used to judge but now just accept others’ choices – and continue to reflect the truth of who I am – and who we all are in essence.
What a beautiful sharing you have offered here Kim. There is not an ounce of judgement in your words – not even judgement of yourself. Instead you have simply allowed yourself to accept full responsibility for your choices.
Kim I love how you did not judge the behaviour of others, but instead saw a sober reflection of how you would have behaved in the past and felt how empty and disrespectful of others it can be. A non drinker may appearing boring to others heavily under the influence, but being an observer is enlightening. Like you, it just confirms that I never want to get off my face again and treat myself and others so disrespectfully.
What a learning experience Kim, to see how it may have been for us in the past and to see clearly now when changes have been made, through self care and respect for our bodies. I wasn’t a big drinker and when I finally gave it up totally (what is the point when I didn’t enjoy the experience) I was encouraged to just have one or completely ignored as the conversation became more from the drink talking. I have never regretted my decision to not drink or smoke. Life has always been more enjoyable without the hangover!
There was such a drive to ‘party-hard’ in me and I thought that this was the way I would always be… what an extraordinary turnaround I have experienced, as has Kim… and if this was all that Universal Medicine inspires one to choose in ones life, then that just would be a good enough reason to see what was on offer .
Kim, a great reflection to show you that it is much more ‘fun’ to be who you truly are and an inspiration to others that there is another way of living.
Once we connect to that part of ourselves known forever as the inner heart, we can start to live in a way that celebrates the seemingly ordinary, and transforms this into an ongoing joyful life.
There is nothing like ‘getting out there and being in the world’ to understand ourselves more deeply. Hiding in comfort means you don’t get to feel a sense of your own growth. Being out there, in the world, you get a constant marker and reflection of who you were, are now and of how you’re living – the quality you’re being. When that’s a quality that’s lived with responsibility for your choices, you can’t help but reflect a different way to others.
It is very healing to look back and see what you no longer choose and truly appreciate how far you have come.
What I learned at the latest Christmas party was that no matter how drunk and far off people were, their essence never ceased to be there and I was able to stay present with this and give a reflection of this connection. After an hour I went home and didn’t feel exhausted.
You have reminded me of how I used to be when I had a drink, being silly, thinking I was so funny as I was quite shy normally, and I used a rather sarcastic sense of humour which actually wounded people. I never liked myself much the next day and always felt pretty sick as well which meant the day was wasted. One day I woke up and realised what an enormous waste of time it was and the damage it caused to me and to others and most of all how I wasn’t being myself. I never took drugs because I didn’t want to feel run by something other than me but I realized eventually that alcohol was no different, it just gave the illusion that I was a better me but really I was just as controlled.
The worst part of stopping is that people incessantly urge you to have a drink and I know now that this is because they feel uncomfortable that you have stepped out and away from the illusion and can clearly feel what is happening. I feel that they feel the sadness of the fact that they are not making that same choice.
It is a revelation that is hard to face.
It is great to truly see and feel what our behaviours have done to people. And than to feel that we have made a different choice in life, and reflect it in our daily living.
It really is revolutionary isn’t it, to be taking care of ourselves to such a degree… Yet when it comes down to it it is simply a matter of making daily choices, and actually enjoying who we are and to have no desire to change this at all.
Thanks Kim for a great blog. While your colleagues might see you as a party pooper, I bet on the other hand there is part of them that really clocks the changes you have been making in your life and the fact that it isn’t just a phase you are going through. Who knows – over time there may well be a few of them who decide to join you on your side of the fence because they can’t resist the beautiful reflection you are offering them!
Yes… what was ‘a good night out’ gets revealed as anything but, and yet this total trashing of ourselves is perceived as normal.
Wow, you really learned a lot Kim, and stayed steadily with yourself, well done.
Such a beautiful confirmation for you Kim.
I think it is awesome the way you allowed your colleagues to be and understood without judgement.
Also that you were able to be there and not take anything on or be effected; you certainly observed and not absorbed.
Reading your blog I realized that I too have been avoiding gatherings with colleagues that involve drinking. I don’t like being with people when they are intoxicated but I feel part of me also still misses the occasional drink to be able to have fun, wind down and relax. When these thoughts cross my mind I can feel that first of all I don’t really need to wind down from anything anymore and secondly that I have found ways to bring myself back to a harmonious state that doesn’t leave me feeling physically and emotionally unstable the next day, the days after and worse off than before. Staying up all night drinking like I did in the past helped me loosen up and forget everything. These days there isn’t anything I wish to forget, I don’t wish to override my natural hesitations and also I prefer to feel and listen to everything going on in my body instead of totally numbing it. But although I have found a different way of living which works for me so beautifully, not too long ago I was there myself and instead of judging and avoiding people I can choose to focus on me being me and let everyone else make their own choices. ‘As I continue to learn to love me, I look forward to offering a TRUE reflection of how life can be so that others can see that there is another way.’
It is very humbling to see and feel where we have been because then we understand how judging or comparing another is futile and we gain a huge appreciation instead. Thank you for sharing Kim.
It’s great to have occasions like this where we get to feel just how far we’ve travelled from old, non-loving ways, without being judgmental on others, without comparing or feeling in any way superior, but simply appreciating ourselves for where we are now.
No judgement, that’s great because that was me a few years back… eager to have fun, because without alcohol I wasn’t having fun, with it I felt like I was fitting in. In truth nothing helped my emptiness it just kept me from looking at the tragedy of my life. Once I felt the connection to me I realised it was drinking that was stopping me being with me and life now is a constant source of Joy and it was one person reflecting another way that bought me to Universal Medicine.
Kim thank you for sharing your blog, it is so important for us not to shut ourselves away. It was lovely to read what a beautiful healing it was for you, as you looked back in appreciation.
I like how you see it as revisiting your past and doing so without judgement towards yourself nor towards any other person. This really allows room to understand why we choose to do things and leaves us less influenced of things that happen around us.
How true Kim, it’s awesome to re-imprint how we have been with people and to choose to be aware of what is truly going on.
What a great reflection for you Kim, to really see and feel how you used to be, and now being able to reflect a different way of life, one of self care and self love. What a great healing this was for you.
It’s so interesting when people tell me they had a great night out but say they can’t remember it or I know how people aren’t there when they start drinking. I start to wonder how do they know they are having fun if they are not present. Who exactly is having the fun? After hearing an Universal Medicine presentation about being present with ourselves I had a drink and decided to be present within my body. I got to feel how the drink was affecting me physically and I could feel that pull to go for it and have loads more. But I paused and was as present as I could with myself and then I was shocked, I felt like I had intruders but there was no locking the door to them as I’d already let them in! I decided I wanted to be me more than numb myself out from my hurts and struggle with living in a world I just saw as hardship and suffering. I had also seen amazing role models like Serge Benhayon who were living without crutches and were super joyful. I was willing to give this other way a go.
What an interesting experiment Karin you did with having a drink and then feeling how your body felt and what was happening. Even before I was completely honest with how I felt when I drank alcohol or caffeine, I never liked being intoxicated because I felt weird, not in control and no matter what I did I could not feel normal (myself), my arms would feel like lead, my thoughts were foggy and sometimes I would cry because I missed myself. Looking back this was not fun, relaxing or have any joy in it.
Kim what a great freedom to feel the truth that we are never missing out no longer drinking, smoking and all sorts. We’re not missing out on being with people if the people we are with choose to vacate the premises so to speak. I used to be scared of being the only person present in the house so I did a pretty good job of joining the party but it always felt awful when I came home to my body as I’d trashed it. Having people willing to stay present, work through their hurts and say those hurts are not all encompassing, we are way more, this momentary substitute(drinking etc) for being present with ourselves is the furthest from actual fun there is, is super powerful. It has and continues to inspire me to stay present, to look at all the things I still use to avoid my hurts and discover I am not a summation of my hurts, I am way more.
Last Thursday we had a ‘say farewell’ dinner for 3 colleagues that left. I hesitated to go, because I often don’t like those happenings. This time I decided to ‘don’t be the party-pooper’, just be there and experience. I got to speak to some colleagues that I hardly talk to about some amazing topics, like menopause, hormones, cycles and taking care of ourselves. But the later it got, the more alcohol was consumed and connecting became almost impossible. At first it felt like me being the odd one out, then I realized it was actually the other way around. I don’t need alcohol to have a good time, I don’t have to enjoy conversations where people speak about mutual experiences and shut others out by doing that. I didn’t stay until the end and left when I felt it was enough.
I really love your blog because it shows a different way! When I started not drinking I never bothered too much about what others think, but I know there are people who get affected, understandably, from the reaction from the outside. Your blog presents how it can feel to truly claim yourself in choices that are considered as being not “normal”.
Yes there are still people who react to another not drinking alcohol, however these days I’m finding that there is a quiet but growing revolution of many people choosing to not drink but we only find out about their decision when they are asked if they’d like a drink and they decline. People seem to keep it quiet so that they don’t rock the boat for others and or possibly become a target for pressure or ridicule or suspicion of being an alcoholic. Apart from those in their teens and 20’s – although I believe there is a groundswell in that age group to scorn alcohol, smoking and self-harmful behaviours – it seems the government health messages could be having an effect and I feel that the no-smoking education push also supports the harms-of-alcohol message.
An awesome clear blog Kim that reflects how much we tend to want to override a pull to go somewhere … It seems like a very strong healing you received from this night and it’s quite full on sometimes to witness all of the drunkenness that goes on with people.
This is terrific, Kim, for calling out exactly what is going on in these situations. I remember the Christmas functions when I worked in the public service for a few years (a long time ago!) when aged 19 – 22 years old. From memory I think I only went to the first one because I had no idea of the bad behaviour that would go on … same as yours, it was totally empty and I was evading drunken lecherous men; I don’t think I stayed late!
These days at the work places I’ve been in, there is not the pressure or imposition to attend, but rather a respect that if you don’t want to go that’s your choice. I suspect that next time, you would keep it simple and just decline the invitation – that is, if you get one … you might be on the outer now!
Thank you, Kim, for holding yourself so lovingly in such an empty environment.
The annual party or a ‘leaving do’ I have declined all of them in the past. It was as if I didn’t want anything to do with the people I work with as I have held this belief that all they do is drink and the like while out of work. But this picture (read: massive judgement) in my head keeps me and them at a distance. Thus maintaining the distance I have had within myself. The more I am feeling me underneath these judgements and harshnesses the more willing I am to be with those I work with, get to know them underneath the customer service face. The thing is I don’t feel the urge to go and join them after work at the pub because my experience of drinking has been very similar to what you’ve shared here Kim, now I rather be with the person and not an altered version of myself or them. So I placed my name first on the list for the summer party this year and we’ll see what happens.
This is the benefit of getting out there and being ‘in the world’. Kim this is a great sentence. If we don’t get out there amongst it we are missing out on these great reflections and confirmations. Not only that if we don’t get out there how are people going to know there is another way. Even though people may not have been connecting with you at the party they still would have felt your presence and seen how steady/committed you are to your way of living.
How awesome is it when the past reflects back at you and shows you how far you have actually come, that the choices you have been making have been the right ones – loving and caring. What a great confirmation for you Kim.
Sounds like it was a good night for you, at times we don’t think we are going anywhere but when you get an opportunity to revisit your past you can see how far you have moved forward.
We say when people are drinking alcohol they are under the influence – but what are you under the influence of and is this actually a ‘good’ influence on you and all others around you??
Further, is getting smashed on alcohol truly all that fun when you consider the fact it can potentially smash not only your body in both the short and the long term, but feed misguided behaviours that can potentially smash both your reputation and your relationships too.
Thanks Kim, it’s not a pretty picture, and I too would have once been a part of it. It’s great when you realize how dark, flat, grey, empty, distorted and surreal that style of painting is. It’s wonderful when you claim yourself as an artist, take up your brush and pallet and begin to paint life from the inside with depth and sensitivity using your own unique strokes and own unique colours to fill the canvas.
I love this sharing Kim, Thank you. I can relate to what you are sharing here. I have also been out and been the only one not drinking and it sure is an eye opener as to what is going on out there. There is certainly no missing out, in fact on the contrary, they are missing out, missing out on connecting with you and also themselves.
Brilliant Kim. This is magic when you can appreciate and confirm your choices and thus, the healing you have achieved by making a choice to break away from a consciousness that had been holding you back..
What an amazing night!! All the reflections of your past choices coming back to you for you to feel where you were and no longer are. A beautiful confirmation that you have moved on.
It is not just the office parties that have changed for me, or even parties in general… It’s the whole experience, as Kim says, of not having that ‘hunger’ to get out of it, to get smashed, to not feel any more… In fact, to finally be so in touch with myself, in connection with myself, that I would not, neither how much I was offered, drink or smoke again because I love who I am and the connection with myself that I have.
Absolutely Chris, I feel the same, my connection will never be compromised by the so-called normalities that exist in today’s society. I feel amazing ever day with no stimulants and that is all day, no ups and downs.
I find it the most beautiful feeling to start to claim my truth in public and feeling ok about it to be standing out. Like you shared with not drinking alcohol and being aware of everything that is going on. Thank you Kim for sharing this.
Thank you, Kim, for such an inspiring sharing on how we could be in the world without judging others’ choices which I often find difficult, but just observe and appreciate the opportunity as healing.
It is very humbling and healing, when we see, feel and own the adverse effects that some of our past behavours, would have had on others. Kim what a great reflection you were gifted with during the Christmas party and also what a great reflection you were to the other partygoers.
I notice that more and more people are actually choosing not to drink alcohol and at the same time they feel pressure from friends, if we can call them that, to keep drinking. I think it’s because everyone knows that it’s not good to drink alcohol and if someone doesn’t drink everyone else gets that reflection back, the knowing that alcohol is used to numb ourselves, escape for a while, when in truth we are dying to have true relationships with family and friends. Alcohol has a very strong hooking ability to make people say whatever to justify their drinking, I’m quite amazed at times because the words coming out of people’s mouths defending alcohol, even in a ‘sober’ state, is quite remarkable. Words that are actually lies, if we ask the body.
It is an interesting subject why people always persuade others to start drinking, keep on drinking or even make a contest out of it. I feel that it has also to do with the reasons you are not drinking. If there is any doubt left, people try to persuade and when you fully claim the reason why you don’t drink, people will leave you alone and receive the reflection you then offer.
True ilja – not many people are now trying to get me to drink alcohol because they can feel that the reason that I don’t drink is very true. It doesn’t come from any ideal or concept but from my own lived experience that alcohol doesn’t serve me one bit.
This is great Kim – I can totally relate. It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I could feel how alcohol really affected me and pretty much changed my personality. While I thought it gave me a ‘better’ personality (quite frankly I thought I was hilarious), this really was only my view and possibly shared with someone else who was also drunk and not able to see clearly. I love the clarity that being sober brings now, and do not feel the need to totally lose myself in order to have ‘fun’!
I love your honesty and willingness to learn from what definitely does not sound like a ‘fun’ evening. To take responsibility for how you have behaved in the past and how you choose to be in the present and future. I feel inspired to look at unpleasant situations through ‘new eyes’, to see them as an opportunity to reflect, learn and heal.
I too feel inspired to look at uncomfortable situations through ‘new eyes’ that by saying yes to opportunities, I am opening up to the possibility of growing, deepening my understanding and acceptance within myself and therefore of others. ”I didn’t feel an ounce of judgement…” – Beautiful and so inspiring.
Going to this event and reliving your past was actually confirming the truth of how you are now living. An awesome way to see the truth of how you lived without judgement or regret but honestly seeing its effect on others. thanks for sharing this as it allows others – me to look at how I have and am still effecting others in all I do.
How cool that you got an opportunity to be on the other side of the fence so to speak and experience first hand what it feels like to be on the receiving end of a drinking behaviour. When we all drink together we have made an agreement to not admit this is happening but your story has shown what is really going on when we drink.
Well said Andrew, when we all drink together, we have made an agreement to not admit all this disconnection is happening to us. It really beats me what’s so ‘relaxing’ about this way of spending a night; at the latest the next morning the truth of the disregard is hard to deny when one feels sick and off; not so relaxing after all.
I could feel your steadiness in who you are now, through this post Kim – truly inspiring. You ARE offering a true reflection that there is another way. Thank you for being you, sharing you and living your true way.
I agree Carola, Kim’s steadiness was tangible and so inspiring. She could have excused her way out of the evening but instead she made the choice to attend and in doing so offered everyone there the most healing reflection.
It always seems like such a waste to me seeing people drunk and switched off from themselves, all these precious moments gone when they could have truly been connected. Maybe this is why they term being drunk or drugged out “wasted”. I appreciated all you wrote as it helped me understand the need for people to be in avoidance of the hurt and pain they carry inside. Yet, if our culture favoured sobriety, then how “weird” would it look to see one drunk? People who are drunk or high actually do act very weird! Thanks for sharing such a great healing moment Kim.
Great point Melinda, I was recently at a gathering that mostly everyone was very intoxicated and the same experience Kim had where no one was interested in connecting or listening to anything I was saying. Remembering how I used to be when I was drunk (which never took much), I was not interested in speaking with anyone who was sober because 1. they weren’t talking the same ‘garbage’ that I was and 2. if I did it was so obvious that how I was acting was weird and abnormal to how I was when I was sober.
A great opportunity to reflect on how you used to be and the effect you realise you had on others. It is worth appreciating how far you have come to where you are, and that by choosing to make different choices what you can now reflect to others.
Yes I agree Deidre Medbury, a great before and after observation. And I know that Kim would have been an awesome, but probably uncomfortable, reflection to many of them.
I agree, well said Deidre.
Just goes to show that celebrations without alcohol, drugs and smokes are much more enjoyable and memorable – people actually can remember them and the true connections they made with others.
It’s an awesome thing you have presented here – that everything is a learning curve and an opportunity to observe what’s going on and recognize it for what it is… I have an outing I wasn’t sure about going too, this has helped me reconsider that.
As the devastating effects of alcohol, and now entering the mainstream of society, ‘ice’ , really start to take an even more horrible toll on our society, those who have chosen to simply be themselves will be the beacons in an otherwise out of control culture that will be the only reference points of sanity.
Amazing to feel Kim. That there is such emptiness in words spoken when a person is intoxicated, and the behaviours are completely empty as well. If we could all experience this, we would go, “why do we drink alcohol if that is what it does to us?”
What a wonderful confirmation of your connection to yourself Kim. After living a life of numbing, to making loving choices to not “trash” yourself – you chose to sit through an event and not judge those who have yet to discover the immense beauty of staying with yourself and not using alcohol and drugs as an excuse to ‘have fun’. Little did they know, they might have said you were a ‘party pooper’ but in actual fact, they all got a healing just from having you there with them reflecting your light.
This is great Kim, you describe such events so well particularly the ‘not being connected’ aspect of people in them wandering off etc. What I got from this is, what we choose to support when you mentioned about the automatic clapping and not wanting to look like a killjoy by not doing it. I have done this before too, and realise just how far our expression or confirmation of non-truth has been upheld, celebrated, and in this our acceptance of abuse even applauded. Makes no sense.
Well said Zofia. “I have done this before too, and realize just how far our expression or confirmation of non-truth has been upheld, celebrated, and in this our acceptance of abuse even applauded”. I am really asked to think, how often have I supported something or expressed myself in some way that just so confirmed not being truthful and suppressing what my inner feelings were?
Beautiful revelation Kim Schultz and what a blessing not only for yourself but also for all your colleagues that you have been to that Christmas party. They have been given the reflection of you who was completely with herself all the time, not judging but honestly observing what was happening and honestly acknowledging that she has been there too, honestly acknowledging that she is equal to them and understands where they come from. In this I can feel the power of love in activity, being presented and shown to all the people being there on that Christmas party of your work.
I liked the way you expressed that what you experienced at the party was a reflection of how you had been living your life – we don’t get to forget easily our past choices do we, they are always there to show us what is was like. I can relate to the choices of going out and drinking too much and not ever considering the impact on other people. This is a great blog to further take responsibility for our past. Thank you Kim.
Awesome Kim, it is a great reflection for me. I went out a lot when I was in my late teens and early twenties to join my friends because I didn’t want to miss out on the fun. I didn’t drink and I can see clearly throughout the evening I was losing my friends as they got more and more drunk. I would stay with them because I didn’t want to miss out. I didn’t use alcohol or drugs to numb myself but instead I used the dance floor to escape and to get noticed. I used to use the music and energy around me to join my friends which was probably equally harming.
Thanks Kim for sharing your blog, there is many a movie or story about the work Christmas office party and all its goings on when people so called let their hair down, get smashed and allow behaviour that ends up affecting their future life. To really feel the way we have lived and see that it is not a way to live is a healing to feel and become more aware of where else we choose to avoid looking at how we have shunned life.
Great blog Kim. I find I often avoid work related social situations for the same sorts of reasons you mention. I am now reflecting on how I could turn this around and view such events as opportunities, rather than things to avoid. Thank you!
I too Kim often try to avoid the work parties etc. because I will not ‘fit in’. Your post has highlighted for me that I feel judged and outcast and a bit of a prude in those situations when instead I could stay with myself and observe. A lesson in observing and not absorbing. Thank you Kim.
It is crazy that the moment you choose not to drink you are placed on the outer. The first thing people always ask me when I turn up to a function and don’t drink is whether that is because I am driving? The thought never seems to occur that one may choose not to drink as a simple choice to look after one’s health. For years I drank to fit in, and for years my body suffered the consequences the next day. Removing alcohol from my life was one of the best decisions I ever made – more vitality, the food truly tastes better, and my weekends are my own.
Kim i’m hearing ya with this one. I partied hard for close to 20 years and when I stopped I inItially felt like I was missing out. In truth the bit that was missing was actually parts of me. Gradually over the years I have filled in the gaps and now feel pretty amazing most of the time. I’m having fun just going about my everyday life, which is how life is meant to be. But because it’s actually a bit crap or really crap for most then we look for fun in places other than in our-selves.
Thank you for sharing Kim. It was great for me to reflect and appreciate how far I have come from the days of drinking alcohol, taking drugs, dis-connection and leaving conversations mid-sentence.
Thanks for sharing this experience Kim. I have had the same thoughts and feeling come up around similar functions. The way you have seen these as a healing is fantastic and has given me a new awareness of what I can receive from these situations.
Yeah, it is great to be out in the world and realize what is really going on and how I once lived as well. No need for judgement, just an opportunity for learning and understanding.
Wow Kim what an extraordinary healing for you. Also an opportunity for you to reflect your truth to others. Amazing.
Sounds like your workmates were reflecting where you had been and you were reflecting where they could be. Such is the fun of mirrors and what is on offer when we peer deeply into them. Thank you for this Kim.
It is a great opportunity and very empowering to be confronted with the reality of old behaviours and to enjoy the fact that you don’t actually need them like you once thought. It’s an awesome healing.
Thank you Kim. I am just coming out of hiding and it feels great! I have feelings of curiosity and openness and an engagement where I want to know and understand what is happening for others and how they are feeling. This too has come out of my association with Serge Benhayon and Universal Medicine, where I am living a much more respectful life taking care of my needs and listening to my body including accepting my limitations. Over time this develops a confidence which is unshakeable. From here we can observe life, like you did at the Christmas party, understand but not be beaten down by what we see.
I attended work Christmas parties every year (there was no way out like your case) and eventually people got used to my different way of eating and no alcohol, no coffee, etc. Before they got around to start asking me why I eat the way I do, I was made redundant! What a shame. I do hope you will be at your job to tell others why you eat the way you do! Thank you for writing this Kim.
Thank you Kim, how amazing it is that life is a healing when we are willing to see what it is showing us. I am finding this too, it is giving me the opportunity to be more aware of how I am in life and from this make changes to be love more.
I can definitely relate to this line Kim, ‘The night also confirmed that I didn’t have to join in just to be like everyone else to feel a part of the gang. It also definitely cured any thoughts that I am missing out on ‘FUN’. With the presentations of Universal Medicine and Serge Benhayon I was able to start to look at how harmful alcohol and other foods were for me and so started to cut down which meant I didn’t go to many nights out with ‘the boys or events to socialise. The ones I did go to, I found, that like you, I saw how alcohol changed people and also realised that I wasn’t missing out on anything, and if anything it strengthened my resolve to continue with no alcohol and to make my health more important than trying to ‘fit in’. Of course, some friends fell by the wayside because they couldn’t do without their liquid fixes, but cutting out alcohol is a decision that I have no regrets over.
Thank you Kim for sharing your experience of the office Christmas ‘do’. A great learning and healing in seeing our old behaviours exposed through others where you say “It also definitely cured any thoughts that I am missing out on ‘FUN’ – as I could clearly feel how people changed and totally disconnected from themselves”
Great to recognise that this was once you and to see how much you have changed.
What an amazing reflection they would have received from you. Such a great story to state how you can be all of you anywhere, without the need to drink and have ‘fun’.
When you take yourself out of a certain behaviour or situation you can see it from a different perspective. What this to me is calling for is more appreciation and stopping if I feel there is a situation or behaviour I know is not right or loving. If I stop I am not buried in the issue and may get a chance to see things from a different perspective.
Thanks Kim. A very clear picture of how disconnected we were joining in the compulsory fun of office parties. I always dreaded alcohol fueled events as either I went along with it and felt terrible with the effect of alcohol and cigarettes or stayed aloof and felt like a wet weekend and wondered why I couldn’t have a sensible conversation with people who on a daily basis I got on with well. I have now not imbibed alcohol for about 7 years and everyone accepts this as normal and I notice that when we are sharing a meal together many more people are also choosing not to drink alcohol.
Kim, I love what you share (all over again!), and how attending was a great reflection to feel and see how you’ve been and what’s now changed. And when you mention how your work mates view you as a stick in the mud, but just simply state, ‘The most beautiful side of it all was that there was nothing for me to do apart from just to be and feel.’, that really touched me as I realised that’s just it, actually there is nothing to do but feel me, I don’t have to change others and how they are, I can just be and feel. Thank you.
What a healing Kim and a beautiful confirmation that the way you are now living is so much more supportive for you. Thanks for sharing your experience.
Kim thank you for your honesty. Getting smashed is not fun. You can enjoy socialising without alcohol. I have seen what the hard stuff can do to people, and it’s not a pretty sight.
What a healing. When we see and allow ourselves to acknowledge and accept how we used to be enables us to have compassion and patience for others without judgment. And it so humbling.
Thanks for sharing this story Kim… I love how honestly you have written. It was really easy to read and it is great reading your perspective.
Through my teens and early twenties I went through very long periods when I would not touch any alcohol at all (no drugs either). I still used to go to parties and have fun but people/friends could not believe that I was completely sober and enjoying myself!
I always felt that people who are under the influence of alcohol know that what they are doing is not what they ought to be doing (I know I did) and in knowing that, they prefer that others around them join in so that a) they can justify that what they are doing ‘is’ ok and b) that those who are not drinking are not reflecting back to them that it is not ok.
I really enjoyed reading your post Kim. What an awesome opportunity to reflect on your past and on what doesn’t work.
Wow Kim! I can so feel the truth you have uttered about realising that being drunk and drugged is not actually fun but such a distortion of real love. It is wonderful to get such a good clear view of that ‘separate reality’ and how empty it really is. Thanks so much Kim.
Thanks for sharing Kim. My workplace often has ‘drinks’ after work on a Friday, which I have almost always avoided. I did go once recently, and it wasn’t as bad as I thought, and does present a way to show that it isn’t necessary to have alcohol to socialise.
I love this post Kim, and thank you for sharing so honestly and lovingly. What a beautiful reflection you are!
Beautifully expressed Kim. You are right it is so important not to hide from these situations.
Thanks Kim, I haven’t drunk for a long time and with no judgement to those who do, I am soooo pleased to not have one ounce of me that feels the need to. In the future maybe a while from now it will be common knowledge that drinking alcohol is a poison, that society was been deeply harmed by what we call ‘acceptable drinking’, and that we do it on mass as we know things are not right (with the world, with how we live etc., etc.) Yet we do it to numb ourselves out of the reality to turn a blind eye to what we know is not right. Eventually just as we used to believe the world was flat we will also know the harmful effects of alcohol and that of other recreational drugs.
beautifull, Thank you Kim. I can very much relate to the xmas gatherings I was part of also intoxicated and blabbering along… how lonely it all felt. And then sometimes the embarrassment the next day not fully being sure what was talked about. How awful and hurtful that is to ourselves.
Well said by the Real Kim, a true bucket of love k x
Thanks for this, I can so relate to seeing what alcohol and smoking looks like from the other side…..I found it’s so liberating to be able to truly enjoy life now, without any of those substances in the way. It’s ironic, I used to want to get drunk or at least tipsy to feel more at ease with others, deep within I was craving connection, but I did the things that ensured I could not have it! Deep down, that’s maybe what your colleagues want, one day, the fact that they saw you not drinking and still living, may give them the inspiration to give it a go too !
A lovely and honest reflection – thank you for sharing this story Kim.
Wow, sounds like it was a healing night out.
Love it Kim!
Kim, what a great experience – right in your face so to speak, well done. Thanks for sharing.