by Mr Anonymous, Australia
I haven’t been able to write a blog.
When I re-read my attempts at writing a blog they feel grey and either a bit boastful or a bit negative on myself.
I found out it has to do with rejection. If I talk with a person, or even a group of people, I can make sure that I won’t get rejected, or that the chance is very slight. Public speaking holds few terrors for me – my worst, but bearable, experience was a public speech on the morning of Melbourne Cup Day. The audience suffered from anticipatory drunkenness even though it was 8 in the morning.
Writing a blog is different. So far I have always tied myself in knots trying to get words on paper.
It turns out that when I feel that I am about to be rejected by another person, I immediately go into reaction first, and when I write a blog I feel certain that some readers will reject what I write.
I therefore sit at the computer screen and am already in reaction.
Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself. That this is preposterously untrue has been irrelevant.
So, here it is – the first blog where I stayed connected to my heart. It feels more than a little ‘creaky’ and the ending is especially bad, but here it is.
Words on Serge Benhayon 
If I ever felt hurt from another rejecting me or disrespecting or dismissing me. Often what hurt more was it was highlighting that I’d already done that to myself first! No one is to blame if we feel upset, in fact they are helping us by showing what we’ve done to ourselves. The answer isn’t in making ourselves the bad guy but to be open to understanding why.
“It turns out that when I feel that I am about to be rejected by another person, I immediately go into reaction first, and when I write a blog I feel certain that some readers will reject what I write.” I have recently been looking at self sabotage, to reduce who I am so that the situation I am going into feels more safe to me than entering shining brightly. I agree that it doesn’t hurt any less to reject ourselves first, in fact any form of separating from ourselves would have to be our greatest hurt. Great topic.
There is no right or wrong we are sensitive beings who have stopped reading energy first and because of this the energy enters our body and we feel harmed by it. If we were to start reading the energy that comes through people rather than seeing them as a relative, friend, teacher, work colleague etc., we would not get hurt because we would understand that the energy that we feel first is not the person in front of us. We cannot be fooled if we read energy first. If humanity worked on reading energy rather than getting caught in social pleasantries our lives would change over night.
Great point Mary, and it eliminates taking things personally which so many of us feel hurt by.
The possibility of someone judging, not liking, rejecting what I have written – I find I get most anxious and go wobbly about that when I know I was not fully connected with myself and possibly in reaction to something/someone and have allowed that to be expressed.
Taking our issues head on gives us the ability to feel it for what it truly is so we can get over the hump and get on with living from our essences.
Writing from the heart we can feel that the energy of love is flowing through us and we can let go of the ‘me’.
Letting go of ‘me’ in all situations, and aligning to the Divine plan, allowing God to come through us.
I love that this has been written, for it speaks to many of us and I realised one of my ‘blocks’ on writing is that I can’t control the outcome, as noted here it’s easier one on one when we speak or present, we’re there ready to defend, but when we write we present it in a from accessible to many others and they may react and we cannot control that. And in writing this I feel how that attempt to control is in fact making it about me and looking good and getting acceptance when in fact the purpose here can be to connect to who we are and to present from there, for nothing is owned by us, it comes through us and really it’s about getting ourselves out of the way.
Getting ourselves out of the way, and moving in a way that allows truth to come through our vehicle.
There are many ways to share yourself with the world. The fear of being rejected is a killer of all of them. Because you fear rejection from others, you discard things inside you all the time and master the art of rejecting yourself first.
This blog invites so many others in a similar boat to put pen to appear and just write (or type), I for one was inspired the first time I read this blog and I’d love to know where you are now with your expression.
So few opportunities come our way to read something or experience another human being in their rawness, honesty and complete openness – there is a lot to appreciate in that alone, as it invites us all to be the same, and sets a standard that says ‘honesty and openness is acceptable’, which is so much better than the current standard of putting on a face and not being real with where we are at.
Letting go of the protection, and being truly seen-being transparent, is so much more gorgeous to feel and see.
Fabulous – well done. We have such a picture of what writing a blog should look like and in fact we have to just give it a go and see what comes after all we didn’t just stand up and walk without a few tumbles and bumps along the way!
We have this morbid tendency to put ourselves down before anyone else has the chance to do likewise – just in case they might think we’re up ourselves. And thus we litter our expression, verbal and written, with disclaimers and excuses, make ourselves small and pretend we don’t count. Does this really make sense?
What this reminds me of is the Tall Poppy Syndrome, however the responsibility to cut ourselves down (or allow others to cut us down) lies with ourselves.
Putting ourselves down, and playing less, like we don’t count has been a strong pattern in many, myself included, and it is disgusting; a narrative and consciousness that I have been saying no to for some time now.
“It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself. That this is preposterously untrue has been irrelevant” – this is such an interesting point and I can very much relate. I don’t know if it’s a kind of security we find in this that we prefer to be able to say we had been anticipating being hurt rather than admitting to feeling that our trust was somehow betrayed and love was not confirmed or reciprocated. Like, we shut the door on a possibility of being hurt, but we are also shutting the door on everything else that being transparent would bring to our relationship at the same time.
We are also shutting the door on our ability to handle the hurt, which we can if we don’t withdraw or contract and stay steady with our essence. We believe the way others respond or react to us is what will hurt, and it can, but the true hurt is simply in separating from ourselves. If we stay in the separation and believe it’s the hurt from a situation we experienced we give our power to the outside circumstances. Sure, we may need support to return to ourselves but the truth is we often deny our power to simply be ourselves despite the circumstances of life.
Rejecting myself – before others have a chance to do so. I so recognise this. yet I don’t see this in very young children – who are often brim full of confidence. It would seem once we start school the competition from others and thus fear of failing can set in – and it can be a downward spiral from then on, unless we reconnect with who we truly are – as we did when young ones.
Our ability to communicate and express is such a vital part in our lives. But it is really interesting how on so many levels that we hold ourselves back out of either fear or a host of other equally insidious emotions that totally undermine us living our potential.
It is such a clever set up isn’t it! That it hurts less if we reject ourselves before anyone else rejects us, but I suspect this is a well trodden path by many more than you and I.
Hilarious and super honest, I love it. Quite unbelievable, coming to think of it, how much we contort and pretzel ourselves to fit into what we think might happen, what we fear is about to happen and that we will certainly be rejected. Where is this certainty coming from>? We reject ourselves first, yes?
This is absolutely hilarious and equally so deeply honest and very true; when we fear and anticipate something coming towards us, in this case rejection, we go out of our way to make sure the other doesn’t keep the upper hand in this exchange and reject ourselves first, denigrate or speak poorly about ourselves. Pretty crazy me-feels.
the best is when we are raw and honest, just like you in this blog.. it catches an eye, simply because we are so used to manipulated speech that once truth is spoken from its real and rawness it stands out. Better stand out for truth than be hidden by evil.
I agree Danna and I have to say I have quite enjoyed reading something so simple that has left me contemplative.
Fear of rejection is something that taints so many people’s expression to the point where people do not even know truly the sound of their real and true voice… This really is essential to heal, because expression is so important.
Wonderful observations about rejection Mr Anonymous, how true. Yes, if we reject ourselves we feel less fearful of the rejection of others somehow – even though we then end up living under the constant cloud of our own self-rejection. As I read the blog I felt that actually what works for me these days is choosing not to reject myself, because this is what really hurts – and I find, that even if others reject me or my words, if I stay loving with myself, that is what truly matters and what truly heals.
You have not only put pen to paper but you have had it looked over by editors and allowed it to be published and read by us, there is so much for you to appreciate stepping out and writing your first blog, maybe the first of many more to come. Thank you for sharing you.
Thank you very much Mr Anonymous, you have expressed beautifully and for me who is just learning how to express (may I add that this is my very very first reply on anything) you have made my day and brought a huge smile to my face.
Nothing wrong with your blog. I love it! So simple, open and vulnerably true. We are gagged with invisible tapes of perceptions that makes us feel it is impossible to write. Really? Is that true? I say it is impossible not to write.
….If we can feel it, we have the authority to write it.
Your contribution made me smile – there you are, writing while you are writing about writing and its difficulties and tribulations – while you are actually doing it and proving yourself wrong. I trust there have been more?
Beautiful, it really made me realise why people embellish things rather than sticking to the truth all because of fear of rejection, when in truth it is only ourselves who are doing the rejecting, really great blog, and thank you for taking the time to write it and getting any doubts out of the way.
This is awesome! You have broken the drought! I have still not taken the plunge and strangely for all the same reasons as you avoided blog writing. I love that you wrote this, it’s so real, it supports me to get over my block, you really nailed this.
I can so relate to what you share here. We are so good at coming up with excuses for not expressing ourselves and making it an issue. Even when it was presented that we were a vehicle of expression, that it was an energy that is passing through us and we had aligned to that got expressed outwardly, and what I expressed was never mine to own – I still wanted to make it about me.
Well done Mr Anonymous for moving through your fear of rejection and writing this blog, I have also experienced similar feelings which immediately blocks me and holds me back from expressing. Recently I have begun to write blogs and not be attached to any outcome or pictures of it needing to be perfect in anyway, it has been empowering and has allowed me to feel more confidence as I build my expression.
I can totally relate to what you shared. For me it’s been about getting it ‘right’ and not ‘wrong’ then the rejection wouldn’t follow. It’s then been about feeling there is no right and wrong only what is true.
Right and wrong are very solid prison walls that stop our expression in its track; the other ingredient is perfectionism and its pursuit, impossible as it is but, undeterred by all evidence to the contrary, we keep trying.
Not only it does not hurt less when we do it instead of waiting for another one to do it. It also set the stage for the other rejection to occur.
Worrying about the outcome of our actions often stops us from moving forward and expressing. I’m glad you didn’t hold back anonymous. It gives inspiration to the others who may be holding back too.
A great nomination of what is holding so many of us back from expressing more freely.
This modifying, reducing or calibrating our expression and ourselves to suit other people is a big one and something I can definitely relate to. It is a self-made prison and a miserable way to live. It really feels liberating and amazing to simply express who we are and how we feel unencumbered.
The fear of rejection or judgment from another really does tie us up in knots and tear each other down – which is the exact opposite of what we should all be doing which is to build each other up.
Dear Mr anonymous… Thank you for stepping off into the unknown world of public expression… For most people this world is so fraught, full of fear, that it takes a rare courage to embark upon this journey. I’m sure that by now you have allowed yourself to express even more, letting go of even more old paradigms of rejection and self-worth so that the true you is heard far and wide.
We have so much to say – the volumes being offered to us by God are limitless and our bodies are made to express this. To offset or control this flow we need to pull in quite a bit of resistance, like reaction, fear, comparison, rejection issues – or a mocktail of all the above.
Having been written several years ago I would love to see how your expression has unfolded since then… for this was a truly beautiful start in being willing to be seen and to express awarenesses that were deeply healing to read. Stepping into the light may be difficult at first but once the power of the light touches you and others as a result, it is nearly impossible to step back from the enormity of what you bring when embraced like you did… I can only hope this was one of many.
Thank you Mr Anonymous for sharing so honestly your first blog, we can never really get it wrong if we view each mistake as an opportunity for our learning, knowing that perfection is not possible on this plane of life.
I loved reading this blog Mr. Anonymous as it was short and sweet; and real and heart felt. This is a great start. Stay with this very real approach and you cannot go wrong.
I can see how I hold up a negative image about something/someone and go into movement to confirm that image – as that would prove me ‘right’ therefore give me a reason why I wouldn’t commit to it. Even though I may be left feeling scarred by it, at least I have an alibi not to step up. Ouch.
The beautiful thing about this blog is that I can feel you. Your honesty, your truth and the tenderness of your heart. What more is there needed, as through what you have shared I can feel the power that comes through simply being our true selves and expressing what we feel from within, regardless of what others may or may not say or think. This is a huge learning for us all – well I know I am definitely speaking from my experience. However, I am loving the opportunities that are constantly presented to surrender to being and expressing all of me, all that I feel to all that I do. For expressing what is true is not only healing for ourselves but also is healing for us all as we bring to light what is true in us all. Thank you for sharing you.
I love your honest expression, it is easy to allow anxiety and the fear of being judged hold us back, but the more we let go the easier it becomes to express in full.
the anticipation of rejection and its consequent effect upon our expression is just one example of the myriad of effects that the unfocused mind can have upon us… the cumulative effect is profound and deep reaching. One of the most healing things that we can do in our lives is to develop true conscious presence, connecting with our bodies, and starting to heal all the distress that has been caused by the disconnection.
Your blog is true and honest and written from your body… beautiful as it offers others the opportunity to also speak their truth.
The key is to write from who we are, rather than from who we are not. This blog does all this and more. Such simplicity, transparency and honesty…just my cup of tea.
Dear Anonymous,
I love your first blog. It is honest, inspiring and humorous all at the same time. Thank you for staying with your heart and speaking what was there.
Well done Mr Anonymous for successfully writing a blog, I also share your fears around writing but I also know if we hold back our expression others miss out on what we have to offer. I notice the more I express the easier it becomes, and to never compare yourself to another for we each have our unique expression that makes up the whole.
What game is it that we are being played with when we are so sensitive to the fear of rejection that we react in anticipation to something that has not even happened yet. More to the point, what are we doing to ourselves thinking like this.
Bravo Mr Anonymous for taking the first step to breaking the ‘stranglehold’ that our unfounded fears have over us. The first step is always the hardest but once taken we open the door to new beginnings.
Love it – the best way to get started is to start no matter what. Sometimes when I can’t get started on a project, article or whatever I just start writing and sometimes I write that I don’t know what to write which is great because it usually leads to whatever is there to be expressed.
Awesome your ending contains the key to unlock the fear of rejection – staying connected to your heart.
Rejecting ourselves, so we don’t feel hurt (seemingly) if another rejects us. A very powerful message.
Today I felt rejected by someone close to me, and it hurt. What was amazing though is that I held myself with such love, that I felt the hurt, and it passed, my body then again filled with warmth.
Rejecting ourselves is actually the most harmful, more harmful that it is coming from another.
“….the first blog where I stayed connected to my heart” – this is key Mr Anonymous. ‘Let the heart lead the way’ – and you did. Thankyou for sharing what many may feel. Great to challenge old paradigms.
We are so often run by the old hurts, like rejection, and it is great to be taking these old feelings to task… well done for breaking through.
So much of how we communicate, speak, write, is configured by anticipation… It is extraordinarily liberating to be able to speak and communicate from stillness, without any mental chatter, to be able in the way, speak from our essence.
Mr Anonymous you can claim who you are as what you share in this blog is felt by so many others. When we seek approval and recognition for what we write the expectation can hold us back but when we express freely what we feel without checking in with our head to think if it will be okay the fear of rejection from ourselves and others fades.
LOVE it Mr Anonymous – Raw & Refreshing as you’re just being yourself, sharing what was going on at that present time, no more and no less.
It’s fascinatingly ridiculous the way we tie ourselves in knots about expressing – be it the written or spoken word – and then project our insecurities onto what we believe will be a judging world. I suppose our thoughts must get tied in the same way, because they precede our speech or our qwerty move or pen flourish. So isn’t the question then, what precedes the thought that has us choose to put ourselves in such knots? Because it is, simply, choice and nothing but.
Your humour and lightness bring so much joy Anonymous. Your words have allowed me to connect to the fact that I do the exact same thing, reject myself before anyone else can. So much has been held back for this reason alone and so much can be expressed if I simply see the lies for what they are and get on with it.
I love the vulnerability in your blog and the healing power of your honesty and willingness to work through your reactions. You may feel creaky in your expression but all that truly matters is that it’s inspirational.
When we express from all our honesty, the winds of humour easily get into our sails and blow us towards lighter waters.
Beautiful Felix for when we allow ourselves to express our playfulness and joy we quite literally lighten up.
We all lose when brilliant writers like Anonymous hold back in anticipation of rejection which as the writer so deftly points out does not actually exist. Thank you for sharing your expression with us Anonymous, it is so courageous to face rejection head on and so powerful to realise it is nothing more than a myth we construct to hold back the great love we are.
Absolutely Leonne, I agree, would God ever reject one of his own children, so why is there so much about feeling rejection? Could it be that we would do anything to not feel the hurt from the separation of being a Son of God and thus this is the rejection that we caused to our self because we stepped away from love?
Feels like a very sensible and true explaination to me gregbarnes888.
Feels like a very sensible and true explanation to me gregbarnes888.
I would say that a few months ago I would have sat and felt the same if I was to write a blog. The more I express and trust my expression, I see how the fear of rejection is far less as my love for myself is so full that I don’t feel the need to fill myself with others’ acceptance. This feels awesome to come to this point in myself. All the more to share with the world when we accept what we have to say is not only worth hearing but valuable (note to self).
Mr Anonymous , not only was it real and true it had a touch of humor. All the components for a great blog.
The integrity of the author to write from his heart touches the reader and because of this his essence can be felt and recognised as something within us too.
Dear Mr anonymous… I’m sure that Shakespeare crumpled up many a sheet of paper when he started… And look at him now, really it really is just putting pen to paper, or recording those first notes, there can be so much inertia, but when we start it can be just truly and simply wonderful when we connect to that flow and understand that we are co-creating not creating.
Awesome writing Mr Anonymous. Since becoming a student with Universal Medicine I have been working on underlying acceptance and recognition issues of which fear of rejection has been a solid branch. Your blog has left me considering where those pockets of fear of rejection are still lurking in my life and I can see a few … so thank you for bringing this subject to my attention.
This is just awesome, the fear of rejection is enormous, for me at least, and a lot of actions are still based on that fear. But what you write is so simple and honest, I get the opportunity to be honest as well and feel that there is nothing to be feared about as, I am coming to know that all that I am is already great which in effect I reject when I fear rejection.
When we compare what we do to how someone else does it this might result in feeling not good enough. We keep trying to excel at something to fuel our self worth, even when it comes to doing things from the heart we go into competing and comparing and getting it right. Putting yourself out there like you have done with this blog is a great inspiration to us all to drop the act, just be and express.
I love the fact that you are prepared to give writing a blog a go.
The level of self awareness you have and expressed is very inspirational.
Thank you Mr Anonymous for sharing your experience of writing a blog, you have done an awesome job.
Better to express imperfectly than never to express at all.
Thank you Adam. This will serve as a reminder when I block myself from expressing for fear of getting it “wrong”.
Congratulations on expressing something of you. For that is all it is. Sure, some people will reject what you say, but at least you have been true to yourself in saying it. When we write what we think people want to read, or hold back and measure just how much of ourselves we will expose in our expression, then who are we being when we write if not our full selves? What is it about ourselves that we are rejecting? Writing is like doing abdominal crunches. Start and it hurts, because we haven’t been using that expression muscle regularly. Stop and the muscles atrophy. Our expression atrophies. Regularly and gently – that’s the way.
What your blog highlights for me is that I have a certain picture of what a blog is or something written as such. But who decides that anyway? I have read many, many blogs over the last months and I must say all have inspired me somehow. So I can say anything that is written with honesty and from our daily lives, sharing observations, discoveries, is absolutely worth reading and there is always the extra juicy part from everybody’s unique way of expressing themselves.
Yes I agree Esther, when we connect and write from our bodies we share our unique expression with the world.
I too, have been wanting to write a blog and have already 2 half done. My fear is that I won’t get it “right” so I am judging what I have already written. I have since realised, that this is an opportunity for me to learn about expressing myself, no right or wrong just an opportunity to evolve to the next step by putting myself out there. Time for me to go ahead and do this. Thank you Mr. Anonymous for the prompt.
What a healing blog to read – I am still taking it in and letting it settle in my body.
The fear of rejection sits so deep in most of us – and for such an obvious reason: We reject ourselves!
I love this blog. You express here with such honesty and simplicity it is so refreshingly beautiful. When we put things up on the Internet, we don’t have much control on who is going to read/watch it and what their reaction is going to be like. It is quite scary actually if we consider the kind of abuses some people are capable of pulling on this playground where they can remain unaccountable. But that should not be the reason why we hold back our expression, that should be the very reason why we keep expressing truthfully as best as we can, and I am learning to do that with baby steps.
Confronting your fears and connecting to your heart to express your experiences in a blog would be a huge healing for you. You must feel amazing for doing this and we all receive your blessing for the commitment you have made. What you have shared with us, is what many people experience and it may even inspire others to write a blog. Thank you.
This is so true Katie, you always learn when you read something written from the heart. This is a great blog that I’m sure many can relate to. What I became aware of in the blog is that you reject yourself first before others get a chance.
I didn’t think the ending was bad at all! There is a way of writing, and that expression comes from us. I’ve found that true expression also comes from my heart and my body has a lot to say. I express clearly when my body is still and I am breathing gently. If am trying to get a point across or say something which I don’t truly know, my body is bouncing with anxiousness. Expressing truth and my body ignites with fire, and it’s the expression of this energy through words that make writing and expression true.
Thank you for sharing how real your process of writing a blog is. You have certainly expressed on behalf of many and offered insight into the process of rejection that may not have otherwise been considered. It is powerful when we share exactly what we are feeling from our body – then it is there for everyone.
Rejection, lack of self worth, lack of self-esteem, so many facets of the same destructive paradigms that have been eroding the core of humanity for eons, and it is always the same path of return, to know oneself, and to reconnect with the inner heart.
Thank you for this honest blog sharing what so many of us feel.
“It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself.” If the intention of a blog is to arrive at Truth then here you have it. It’s so easy to be held back by a prescriptive language yet all that is really needed is to express how we feel.
Dear Mr Anonymous, I absolutely love your honesty and the power within that. Please write again, its gorgeous.
I loved the blog, its very revealing as to why I also have difficulty expressing when writing. Thank you so much
Awesome Mr Anonymous, I totally love your blog! What you have shared about the potential for rejection being why we hold ourselves back is just so true – and not only relevant for the blocking of blogs but in all facets of our lives.
I love this blog – light and honest!
Thank you for the realness, the true simplicity of this blog Mr Anonymous. I deeply appreciate your honesty as it highlights the way I too can limit or even debilitate myself and my expression when I hold on to particular expectations or ideals of how it ‘should’ be. To simply allow ourselves to be vulnerable and express how we truly feel without guard or reinterpretation is a gift that serves us all.
I really enjoyed reading your blog, and I love the honesty. I find I have trouble expressing in some form more than other, i.e. writing, moving etc. Different situations and settings can also show areas that I have trouble expressing in. But like you these times are opportunities for me to reflect on what is actually going on for me.
Ha ha love the ending and love the blog – jokes aside the revelation about rejecting yourself before others reject you is huge!
Your blog Mr Anonymous is one of the truest blogs I have ever read. Honesty in expression is beautiful no matter how awkward it feels, and it is so worth it. I have chosen exactly what you have chosen, only I feel rejection when I speak, but what you have inspired me is this rejection has first come from myself, and this rejection has no space to enter when I am connected to my heart. Your blog has evolved me, thank you.
Thank you for sharing this. I do this too and your blog really hit home. I feel I understand myself a little more and may be able to handle these blog blocks more easily.
Very cute Anonymous. I can relate too with what will I write. I usually get put off when I either am stuck or reread my writing and it does not make sense. It is not so important because every moment is a part of your expression and how it unfolds. I trust what I feel will be enough. The joy is just writing and embracing the process of it being raw to start with. My connection and staying with it is of utmost importance. Who is going to read my writing, is it relevant to where I am posting? That fear of rejection is at the back of mind but if I honour the above the reader has the opportunity to connect to me.
I think that’s a great ending!
Well done!
I can really relate to the vulnerability of expressing oneself when writing. I’ve often opted for putting myself down before another does, thinking this is less painful and I’m more in control. In reality it is no less painful and I’m still stuck in a prison of being less than I know I am and am knowingly not giving myself the chance to express and grow.
Mr Anonymous, thank you for putting your fears and misgivings aside and sharing this blog – you may feel it is a little “creaky” but your honesty has touched so many and the connection with which you write is clearly felt.
Thank you Mr Anonymous for sharing so openly, it’s refreshing and appreciated. “Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself.” This is an extremely powerful sentence and gives much to ponder on.
As I read this today I can feel that I have a choice, to be committed to my expression or ignore me and focus on hurts (believing they are what I am). The gift of expression, firstly to ourselves is huge, the power we give to hurts justifies holding back. We are not the hurts, we are in the expression.
OH
I love your honesty. When you were saying about rejection, I first thought that I would not really have an issue with it. Until you wrote your piece. I felt that I also go into reaction when I want to write and then seemingly all my inspiration gets lost. It was a big revelation what you clever but still it hurts very much. I am going to take this in my day and see in which areas I am going into reaction.
I love this blog, the level of honesty is deeply felt. Thank you and I hope to hear (read..) more from you anonymous.
Your honesty and vulnerability shines through. This, your first blog will inspire those who have felt the same to break through the block of fearing rejection, to freely expressing.
The lies we get fed and the lies we then live are absolutely crazy once they have been seen for what they are. I am sure this lie, is one that we can all relate to…. It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself. This is the complete opposite of truth and yet I know I for one have chosen this lie too. Hmmmm.
Couldn’t agree more Vicky – “The lies we get fed and the lies we then live are absolutely crazy once they have been seen for what they are”.
Simple and honest, a great blog and I can relate to that same feeling when I used to write my blogs.
Fear of rejection is a bit of a killer of expression, to put it mildly! I’ve certainly experienced it myself and also the wonderful freedom that comes when I let it go and just share from my heart.
The power of honesty is huge for me, when you hear someone stand up or write from the truth of how they are feeling or living, no bars holding, no worry about what another thinks, or whether they are doing it right or wrong, but saying hey this is me, this is what I think, this is where I am – this feels amazing! Because you know it’s true – it’s real – and there is nothing more inspiring or refreshing.
I love the realness of this blog too Katie, for me I really respond to people when they are being themselves and being honest – it allows for so much more, it’s like a door opening. My whole body relates to people when they speak their truth.
I love what you have written, as others have said it is very honest. That is what I am finding, in that by not expressing continuously and truly all my life when it comes to it I am a bit rusty.
I love this, so honest, and an exposure of how many of us feel too. Writing with the reader and their reaction in mind, (and hiding in the false safety of playing safe), and not from our hearts and expressing our truth even if it may be rejected, is a recipe for the mediocre and inspires no-one.
I love your complete honesty and your end wasn’t bad at all – it made me laugh ! It is interesting how in life face to face we can subtly change who we are so as not to be rejected, but on paper, there is very little you can do to change based on who is reading.
This is a gorgeous blog as to me this is what blogging is about..writing and sharing how and what you truly feel just as you are. I have found that it takes courage to be this open and naked in front of the world, but I can feel how if I try to be anything else, right in that moment I have already rejected myself. Thank you Anonymous.
I can relate to these very real blogs too Katie, where the writer dares to take a risk and share something of themselves with other people.
Your simple honesty in sharing what has been a fear for you, rejection, shows our humanity in one of the ways we hold ourselves back….what you have shared is actually priceless because you dared to express yourself in honesty. Thank You – TO YOU!
Mr Anonymous, thank you for writing about this subject, one that affects many of us – like type of performance anxiety. All the questions that we ask our selves that carry us down the path of self doubt and into suppressed expression. I was very much one of those – and still go through different stages as I continuously develop my expression – but now I am able to have so much more fun, not give myself a hard time, or be in the pursuit of perfection. Being real and being love is so much more important.
“Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself. That this is preposterously untrue has been irrelevant.” I so get this. Knowing something is not true from the head is one thing, but feeling it is another. Thanks for your insight into how writing a blog is for you.
Absolutely Sueq2012, there are many ‘insights’ in this blog which are expressed in very few words. These are worthwhile pondering on. So many of our deep hurts come from rejection.
I love that you have said it as it is for you and connected to the fact that it is about rejection for you.
Fear of rejection can be quite debilitating in committing to life. It can hold much expression back, thus developing a life that is only a glimmer of one’s true potential.
Yes I agree Mathew. This blog is celebratory for the writer and I celebrate with you for taking the step to express and start to open up to your potential!
I can relate to not being able to write a blog for fear it wouldn’t measure up – so I love your honesty here. And the end made me laugh – it wasn’t at all bad!
I agree Meg, the blog starts the conversation about being able to express what is felt without ‘fear’ of expressing in a blog. This can be the starting point for true expression about rejection.
If you step back and think about it, it’s absolutely mad that we could ever have a fear of simply expressing how we feel and what we observe, when it’s such a natural thing to do. I am sure as you say the fear of rejection plays a huge part.
Thank you Meg, I agree, communication and expressing what we feel should be like falling off a log. We have lost the way because what felt natural in our expression was shut down and rejected at a very tender age. It is absolutely amazing to see the young fully claimed children who have never been rejected by their parents. This is way of the Livingness.
A blog about not being about to write a blog – brilliant! Seriously though a very honest blog about a topic that affects us all. I can relate to projecting or predicting that I might be rejected and so adjusting or watering down my expression which is a reaction in itself.
I love how you write about your insight and experiences, yet not make it about you and the emotions. The observational way you write offers a healing to us all, thank you.
Beautifully said Monka, when we share in such honesty it is a healing for us all, because many of us can relate to this in one way or another!
Mr Anonymous, thank you for sharing this. i can relate to already feeling how others react and therefore going in reaction even before the situation or conversation takes place. It is a false way of hiding. And I love the ending 🙂
Mr Anonymous – not creaky at all.
This blog is refreshingly honest and I am sure echoes the fears that many people experience around writing something that will be read by a large audience.
This is so lovely in its truth and vulnerability. I’m also one who resisted because of rejection. Quite a bit of this stems from the red marking pen effect of being wrong. Wrong for not only content, but also grammar and spelling as well.
As far as content goes I now feel that my content is where it is and what I have to say is important for me and I’m not going to second guess what another thinks. Spelling is spelling and is purposeful to some extent. if others need to impose strict rules then they choose that, I choose to let them know. Grammar is still unfolding, but I’m not using it as an excuse to hold myself back in what I feel I need to say.
Filled to the brim with honesty. What more could one possibly ask for?
Nothing 🙂
True Naren and such a great starting point. Expressing in this way is definitely a enormous healing for everyone.
Maybe an ending that shares more about being rejected being a good point, because to feel reject we had to feel in the first place, and also feel the truth of who we truly are so others are not accepting of us in that light thus rejection.
Rejection sucks, and hurts very much when you need something to be, and it hasn’t turned out that way. Ideals and beliefs intertwine in and around this too. Enormous for me right where I am right now.
I love and appreciate your honesty and what you’ve written is a brilliant start that will more than likely slowly move the block that is there. I understand what you’re saying when you feel it’s easier to reject yourself first before others get the opportunity as I’ve a tendency to do this too but when we begin to accept ourselves for who we are it matters less and less what others think of us.
I love it. Very playful. I too have rejected myself a lot so that I get in first before others reject me. I’m getting better now but in doing so, I never even give people a chance. What if they weren’t to reject me. And what will happen if they do?
I find that I have heaps that I want to write in blogs, and yet it isn’t coming out as easily as I had hoped, and doesn’t read as I would like. Your blog has reminded me to contemplate why this is the case, and not to just gloss over it. I suspect that it has something to do with having contorted my mind so much to get essays and then work stuff down on paper, that it is having trouble now just letting go, but yes, judgement is also playing a part, that, and wanting what I write to totally reflect what I am feeling. Your blog also reminds me that my writing cannot flow if I am trying to control it, and wanting it to be a certain way, is very much about control! I also have to remember that crazily, I am out of practice when it comes to expressing what is there for me to express. Its gonna take a little time to warm up.
No matter what we say, whatever comes from our heart, our inner heart that is, will always inspire. You inspire me through the simplicity of your words but equally the exposure of rejection which a lot of people feel in their writing but choose to cover up with words and grammar without the honesty you have expressed here.
I can deeply appreciate your courage here to take the first few steps towards healing rejection. Don’t stop here – I would love to hear more about what you have to say.
What a profound realization “it hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself”. I reckon the whole world suffers from this and the consequences for us all are massive in terms of our health and wellbeing.
I have felt those anxieties when expressing too. The more I challenge those reactions that pull me back into hiding, the more I re-imprint my relationship with expression. It is constantly evolving – from once being too shy to talk in front of a group to singing in front of a big crowd and leading workshops in schools. The written word has so much power and once we love ourselves enough to stop getting in the way, we can move mountains!
Hi Mr Anonymous, your ending is not especially bad, it is glorious. There is a tender healing that comes with this blog as it feels like it is written for all those who are facing the restrictions ‘rejection’ places on their lives. Your amazing message here is ‘Don’t hold back because when it comes from the heart, it will always be true and simple’. Thank you again from one who also struggles with rejection and the written word.
Mr Anonymous your ending was superb and made me laugh, thank goodness you broke the seal and pressed send to be outed as a generous soul with much to share. Look forward to the next one with your name possibly….
Thank you Mr Anonymous for summing up the barriers I have erected to stop myself expressing in blogs and the craziness of ‘Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself.’
You did it! You wrote a completely honest blog straight from your heart. Now that’s something to celebrate. I can relate to what your write Mr Anonymous and it’s great to be aware after reading this that I too react when I sense someone may reject me before they’ve even the chance to by making myself small and therefore unable to deal in my fullness with what is before me. Crazy indeed. The ending here made me giggle. Thank you.
Hello Mr Anonymous, your first blog has a very real and relate-able heart to it that I most certainly can relate. It’s very important what you have exposed that irrelevant of the fact that we hurt ourselves most deeply when in rejection and pre-empt of others we continue to do so out of the false belief that another could somehow hold the power to hurt us more. This makes no sense, but is exactly how a ‘belief’ is constructed, to make us ‘think’ of the outcome and not ‘feel’ what is really true for us. Thank you for writing!
Thank you Mr. Anonymous for highlighting how we all have something to say. What you have shared is ‘gold’ in that even with our thoughts telling us that we are not enough, the truth is what lies deep within the heart of us all equally is wisdom untold waiting to be connected to shared and lived in our own unique way of expressing.
I love the honesty of this blog, it doesn’t need to be long, and it is already full of your expression. I find it sometimes hard to put pen to paper, to write from my heart, having written your first blog the next will be much easier to write, and I look forward to reading it.
Very inspiring Mr Anonymous! I love your blog, simple, honest, funny and confirming. I look forward to the next instalment.
Yes please Anonymous, write more!!!
Expression in all its forms really can support us to find out how we truly feel. I use writing a lot to get to what’s going on for me at a deeper level.
Mr. Anonymous, what a huge inspiration to read your honest account. I will remember your lines the next time I am trying to complicate, polish or strive for a ‘perfect’ expression. Your sharing values what is real and true, something we as humanity desperately need.
I LOVE it Mr Anonymous! Nothing flowery, clever or heavy. Simple, direct from the heart expression is for me, my choice of read any day, thank you.
What a fabulous blog, so real, so honest and down to earth, and very brave. You have enlightened me with the ‘writers block’ I experience and for that, a heart felt thank you to you.
I know what you mean Anonymous. I feel a similar thing when I try to write a blog. I feel I have so much to say but when I start writing, it becomes very forced and unnatural, like I’m performing. There’s an investment in it being good, to bring me some recognition, but there’s also the fear that others won’t like what I have written, will judge me for it and reject me. As you say, it’s easier to control what others may think by talking. I find I can react and change the tenor of what I saying to make it more acceptable (more honestly this is blatant manipulation). I’m learning little by little how to express myself more clearly and naturally through writing and to not be attached to it once I press the send button. If I express from truth then it matters not what the reactions are around me and towards me. Ah, we (people) are such an amazing reflection to each other if we are open to it. Your blog has exposed much for me to let go of. Thank you for writing it.
Mr Anonymous, what a great place to start…expressing your fears of writing a blog! You are not the only one who has this problem. I know for a long time I could not press the Reply All button on an email thread because it felt like people were looking from all angles and I couldn’t present my best side – so what am I trying to hide?
Now this is a great blog. Thank you! So honest and down to earth and one that many can relate to. Showing who we are in a blog can be daunting but also incredibly healing. This has certainly been my experience.
You are right Anonymus, some readers will reject what you write.
And I know the calculation which follows this realization very well – sometimes conscious, sometimes subconscious. I have that also when I say something and feel that someone or a whole group does not want to hear this. It is like dead wind and I have to be aware to not go into hide or fight. Truth has to be expressed – but not against people, but with them. In our essence we are the same and we want all the same. What comes between us is not us, an illusion however strongly real it may feel and hurts. But if we focus on the hurt, the separation or rejection – we give up on how we are connected, we give up on love.
I thank you dearly for your courage to write your first blog with staying connected to your heart! And I remember Serge Benhayon once said: there is not something like courage – it is Love! So, thank you for your love Anonymous. Thank you for not giving up on us.
“Truth has to be expressed – but not against people, but with them.” So true Sandra. What we express may well be received like a ‘dead wind’ but if comes from love, without judgement or criticism, it is not personal. Eventually this will be felt.
Oh, I am sure that the intent behind our expression is and will be felt! But also the highest intent will not protect me for rejection. What can be seen in the fact that even the words of Serge Benhayon – who has the highest integrity intent I know – are rejected by a few people. But the thing is: do I express to get something for it or do I serve best? So yes, one important point is where I am coming from with my expression – and the other important point is: my purpose.
“It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself. That this is preposterously untrue has been irrelevant.” I love that… its bonkers, but a very astute observation on what is really going on, and how we tie ourselves up in knots ‘just in case’ something might happen rather than simply being ourselves, with all that we have at that moment.
Ahh… the ‘just in case’ game. I have been playing this one for so long and only now do I feel the harm in the anticipation of may or may not happen. To hold strong in who we are no matter what may or may not happen is so very healing… and so much easier on the body!
And how will we cope with being great? When so used to rejecting yourself first, the notion of being amazing never gets considered. Drop the first in-first served rejection and then you’ve got to take a look at how you will handle being glorious…
The honesty in this is absolutely beautiful. One that I am sure is true for many people, I know it is certainly for me. How you have shared that before even going to start your writing you have actually rejected yourself is the biggest penny dropping and totally explains what gets in the way of the flow of just simply sharing and writing a few words down. Thanks very much for your words with love, I love them.
I agree Natalie, this is revelatory and changes everything.
Yes- using reaction to get in the way of ourselves and our expression, especially with self rejection was a penny dropping for me too. For a moment when the penny dropped I was at ease with expression and connected to my heart, then I felt a tug-a-war on the inside – of can I? Can’t I? Is it safe to express? No it’s not? It was like I had been caught out with nowhere to go so I am clutching at straws of resistance while on a precipice. In letting go of the straws, the tight squeeze around my heart starts to ease off and I find the precipice was not so high after all – in fact my feet were on the ground the whole time, I had just disconnected from my body. Pretending to escape my body takes a lot of energy to shut it out. Coming back from the reaction is like being the prodigal son, my body is celebrating and throwing a party for me – no remorse just healing.
Well done – Mr Anon, for getting out there and giving it a go.
You’re honest and what you say is important and valid- fear of rejection is experienced by many people. Now that you have written your first blog we hope to read more from you.
It is always so interesting to hear people’s different perspectives on their experience of life. Seeing life expressed from different angles really increases my ability to understand the bigger picture. Your blog Mr A is a great way to expose the funk we can get into. Clearly you are a great writer – just saying it as it is for you in that moment – no dumping, no blaming but simply observing. One of the things I always loved about writing is the reader can come back to the words written on the page many times over. Sometimes I feel like it takes a few goes for some to feel what is being expressed and sometimes it offers the reader the opportunity to deepen their understanding of what is being expressed. Writing is my strength – speaking publicly off the cuff directly in a one off moment is in development. Perhaps you can share with us one day in a blog about your strengths? I like to hear your perspective on that point too!
Isn’t it amazing all the judgments we can have about ourselves which are so not true!
You have the makings of a natural writer – open, honest and a sense of humour – all of which makes for a great read 🙂 I look forward to reading many more of your sharings Anonymous!
“Isn’t it amazing all the judgments we can have about ourselves which are so not true!” I love this line Paula as it shows the ridiculousness of what we can get caught up in. Stories about ourselves that just aren’t true, that hinder us in our daily lives and keep us twisted up and going around in circles, until we get to a point of awareness where we can see the madness and have the opportunity to make a different choice.
Oh yes. It is so easy to judge myself (but nether light) – it is like my second nature… So let’s go for my first nature. Let’s go for Appreciation.
Absolutely Paula – the makings of a natural writer. I would love to read more from you Mr Anonymous too – your honesty brought me straight to my heart and then the profundity of what you touched on has me squirming and fighting the truth of what you delivered – so you must have hit a nerve – and that’s great – as it is calling me to surrender again at least to my body, back towards feeling my heart.
Your blog made me laugh, truly beautiful and real. I can so relate to the difficulty you feel when sitting down to write but please don’t hold back I really enjoyed your expression.
I love that you wrote this and honestly described you experience of writing it and here it is. Often I get stuck at that hurdle and want to get it right which of course is a bit of a damp squid on anything – I’d not realised that getting it right just caps our experience and doesn’t allow the experience we’re in whether that be writing a blog or anything. Telling.
Mr Anon, you’ve written my blog! A life time of holding the precious part of me back so that I won’t get hurt or rejected. A bit of a lonely and boring place it can be, so great that you are venturing forth with honesty & humour!
You’ve been exposed. You can come out now!
Expressing exposes our hurts, of being judged, attacked and silenced, either subtly or very obviously, many times before. Being connected with me and being able to express from this connection is something I am re-learning, after many many hurts. Committting to expressing each and every moment of every day has become necessary for me to begin moving through this and now the words are starting to flow from my steadiness.
Also, seeking approval – I forgot that one! When we are connected to ourselves, we can feel how lovely we are in what we do and we don’t need anyone to validate it. Something to see and know that it is within our power to change.
Wow, dear Anonymous, you have so powerfully supported yourself and others who feel and experience the same… you did it! Very inspirational, not to “wait” until I don’t react anymore or until I am this or that, no, just start to do it! This seems so simple and it is so powerful as it is the first step from many other steps relying on this first one… the choice for a new direction. In so many areas of my life, I have to overcome the fear of being rejected, when I dare to express myself – and it always starts with doing it the first time to then build up more confidence to do it again… and again… looking forward to more : )
Mr Anonymous, I love that you have written a blog about what’s come up for you when you try to write a blog! I feel that it’s important to point out that your blog doesn’t need to lead anywhere grand and have a majestical ending, if you have expressed what needs to be said, that is enough.
I love your article Mr Anonymous. Very refreshing and so honest and true. This is the kind of candour we need in the world and it is nice and playful which I think is the way to go as opposed to the seriousness that has came over us since ever we grew `up`. Thank you on behalf of everyone who has experienced this once or twice (me included)..
Your blog is a great approach to writing – very inspiring! You just started to write about what is to get that out of the way. I will remember this next time I am stuck.
That’s a great point Judith – I always find the hardest part is starting something then when I do it usually flows.
Yes, very powerful to read a blog Mr Anonymous about getting out of the way and the relationship you were able to hold with your heart as you wrote. Writing simply what was there on top and being felt made for an amazing read. Everything that was there to be said was said and what was said was no small matter of importance – thank you –
This is hilarious, love it and the ending is great as you just finish when you had said everything what needed to be said. How often do we have to read another paragraph and another, because the ending is extended and extended. It made me smile a lot reading your blog as you “made a virtue out of necessity” as a German proverbs says (“aus der Not eine Tugend machen”). You just used the most presently felt topic and made it your blog, very awesome!
Just goes to show that we all have something worth writing about – I loved reading this because its’ so darn real! Thanks.
I agree Helen, it is so real and that is what I love most about it. Mr Anonymous you are just gorgeous and have provided much healing for us all. No doubt a lot of us go through holding back what is there to be said whether it be on paper, spoken or in cyberspace for fear of rejection. That said, this is a cracker of a blog – an all time classic – and no doubt there is much more in you to be written about. Encore please Mr Anonymous!.
Very true, Helen, we all have something of value to share and it is so great when we allow ourselves to actually share it!
We have been educated to believe that depending on our level of education, title, profession etc that one person’s opinion is of more value than another’s and although our different degrees may give us certain knowledge that another does not have, it does not make us wiser. True wisdom comes from a body of love that considers the all.
Beautifully said, Caroline. Thank you.
I love what you have shared Caroline. We all have access to wisdom that no amount of education can bring.
Precisely nikkimckee, and wisdom is available to us all no matter what our intelligence level is… and when delivered from our essence it is extraordinarily powerful.
It is indeed our essence that holds our wisdom.
I absolutely love this blog and feel how much I relate to what your talking about… I get it as well.
Absolutely awesome that you now have your first blog down as I feel there are many more to come… Let the freedom of written speech come pouring out !
No bad ending that I can see anywhere here – but honesty and candidness and a very enjoyable blog to savour with many truths that have the power to stop one in one’s tracks; like the one about rejecting ourselves first so that the anticipated rejection doesn’t sting so much – I know this one well, but it is still what it always was: crazy.
This blog is genius Mr Anonymous and I realised how much I allow rejection and lack of self worth to put a stop to my writing efforts too. Thank you for staying connected to your heart and sharing your brilliant writing, gorgeous humour and powerful wisdom with us.
Here, here Leonne, I am with you on this….really shows how fear of rejection can have such a hold over us, but in this blog the willingness to write this is a beautiful open to so much more of who you are…thanks for the inspiration!
Mr Anon, this blog has given me so much to look at, I have a similar block, a similar fear of rejection that is anticipated and not true. Connecting from your heart and writing from there was felt in your words. I’m looking forward to Mr Anon Part II
Me too Fiona, we all have to start somewhere and what I love about this sharing is that Mr Anon simply states where he is at with blog writing with no regret or shame just how it is.
My Anonymous, I beg to disagree about the ending. I love it. All that you need to do is embrace the fact that you ended it when it needed ending.
May I point out that we live in a world filled with the polished prose of “great writers” – well take a look around and you will see we live in a world that nothing short of a mess – oh, with a few great books. We need honesty in this world, raw and open. You are the medicine we all require in this world that is starving for truth. If people don’t like it they are missing out.
Yes Rachel, you’ve nailed it here. When we value “polish” over expression that is raw, open and honest we are indeed all missing out.
I love your article Mr Anonymous. Very refreshing and so honest and true. This is the kind of candour we need in the world and it is nice and playful which I think is the way to go as opposed to the seriousness that has came over us since ever we grew `up`. Thank you on behalf of everyone who has experienced this once or twice (me included)..
Good point Rachel.
Very true Rachel. All the pomp and polish in written world is no guarantee that it will touch our hearts. Simple truths from one heart to another is a different story.
Mr Anonymous you made my day. I love your honesty and that this whole blog was about being brave enough to write a blog!! I look forward to the next and the next…I have no doubt you have opened the floodgates now!
Hear hear Lucy. What beautiful honesty….let us have more of this. I could bathe in this, more so than any “studied” eloquence that leaves my heart untouched.
Yes, Rachel, there is a real and palpable difference between writing in a “studied” eloquence and writing from the heart.
Oh yes, so, so true. This blog was like a sprinkling of spring water, so refreshing after the tedium of perfectly crafted nothing.
Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself. Wow, this line feels so powerful, and my feeling is you have exposed something we all do in many different areas of our lives, when we feel challenged with something or some-one. If this was your first blog, I look forward to reading more from you!
Great point jacqmcfadden04 that this rejection of self is carried into many ‘different areas of our lives, when we feel challenged with something or some-one’. A protection device that is well past its sell-by-date.
Mr Anonymous can we have some more please? I love your blog! so honest and down to earth, I am sure you have just exposed what many of us feel when sitting down to write.
Yes, absolutely Samantha, and I would love to hear from Mr Anonymous again also.
Gosh this world is full – and I mean really FULL of things to hold us back expressing! There is doubt, fear, reaction, arrogance, comfort, self-loathing – to name just a few – and where does all this issues come from? For sure they are not gifts from heaven. Are they not our own creations? And this is at the end the best – because: if we are the ones who created them – we are also the ones who can let them die. And we can let them die with one step after the other. Like nominating our issues (we created). Because deny them is to feed them. And without the feed they start to die. So well done Anonymous – kill them one after the other and inspire others to do so!
Great reflections Sandra! All totally within our power to change. And is our responsibility to claim!
Well said Sandra, how many tricks are there wanting to stop us from expressing! And as you say, they would not be coming from heaven, so we can feel them, name them, out them, get over them and move on – and express – without the need for any perfection!
Oh Sandra your comment is priceless, I love the way you describe the process of how to get rid of the things that hold us back. Kill them by not feeding them with denial….
This is priceless, you have all the makings of a great writer– honesty, humour and the ability to not take yourself too seriously. I loved it . . .it made me laugh . . steady on I am not laughing at you it was the joy of it all that had me laugh. . .this is not a rejection it is a confirmation. I will look forward to your next blog Mr. Anon.
Well expressed Kathleen! This is ‘priceless’ and real and I could relate to all of it! And I could feel that whilst Mr Anon was identifying with the fear of rejection, the freeze was beginning to thaw!
Yes, Bernadette and I bet there will be no stopping him now that the flood gates have been opened.
Yes Kathleen, I totally am with you on this, I look forward to the next blog by Mr Anon. This one here is so lovely and honest and simple, and funny too, it made me laugh too.
I agree with what you shared Kathleenbaldwin, it is so real and many (including me) can relate to what is shared. And how great would it be if we would always bring this level of playfulness, honesty and humour.
May as well live the future now Diana and as you say consistently “bring this level of playfulness, honesty and humour” to our every expression.
A masterpiece in honesty Mr Anonymous that just goes to show that when you lay it all out for the world to see, far from being naked, the raw truth is exposed in full glory for all to see and feel. Each of us can relate to every ‘creaky’ word here written. The ending is my favourite bit because I know it is the beginning…
Stuck in reaction and rejection is a tight little spot to get out of, especially when experience backs up these feelings. I can get quite muddled and stonewalled when writing, probably many years of rejection from stammering since I was young. It has infiltrated everything, like having a hand break on while trying to drive. Your blog has given me much to consider, thank you for writing.
I can totally relate to what you feel, I haven’t written a blog for the same reason. If it is not “perfect” I fear that somebody or everybody will criticize it. And that comes from comparing myself with the most profound and well written blogs that I can think of, and I can feel how unhealthy that is, my body shrinks and I stop breathing.
That is so silly, because when I read all these blogs, and yes, I do notice that some are more “sophisticatedly written” than others, I just love everyone of them for their living truth and honesty.
Every honest expression has great value and helps to bring us all back together.
Thank you for yours.
I really appreciate your honesty anonymous, I too have struggled with writing blogs, you have given me much to ponder. I know I get stuck in trying to fill the words with me, to impress others, I now see how much self there is in this.
Thank you Mr. Anonymous for simply being honest and taking the plunge. It is amazing the crazy lies we can tell ourselves at times, and then we often attract just what we have feared so we get to cement the untruths and feel that we are ‘right’..we set the whole thing up. I find that other people often respond or reflect to me the quality I hold myself in, it is like looking into a mirror. So much of our communication happens energetically and we can all feel this, and when another is not being their full loving expression our reaction is first to the untruth of this, a rejection of the lie. Your blog is very touching as it comes from your heart and that is what if felt.
Thank you for your creaky blog, whatever creaky means (I might look it up tomorrow). I liked it and it is very encouraging to simply sit myself down and write and not let thoughts come in between me and my words.
Love it Mr Anonymous! One of the best blogs I have read – I love the humour and the lightness and the honesty. I still have a smile on my face! What you talk about is no different to my fear and anxiety of public speaking or being with another and fearful of saying what needs to said out of fear of not being liked/loved/accepted etc.Instead of just trusting in ourselves and allowing the situation to unfold. Thank you Mr A.
A very powerful blog Mr Anonymous, your honesty really is beautiful and inspiring. I love what you’ve shared: ‘Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself.’ This feels so true what you have shared and I have done this myself, yet I feel that this is only a short term and false sense of security when I choose to reject myself first before others do. I too was afraid of rejection, I have definitely deliberately chosen to do or not do certain things to avoid rejection. It feels devastating when I feel rejection from others but worse still I feel ultimately the rejection of myself would be far more painful because it is a choice I have deliberately made to not feel the true power of who I am. This is one of my deepest sadnesses that I am still working on healing, in choosing not to live who I am in full, expressing my love, joy and truth in full is enormously devastating.
Great honesty, the blog you write shows clearly what was holding you back, and how rejection does shape our lives.. it brings up a fear that there is something not okay about you, and as this happens exactly as you said we reject ourselves, to be hurt earlier than anyone can do..
This is so inspiring as you expressed just how it is for you in this moment and in doing get to feel what is going on. Thank you for the simply being honest.
Congratulations, Mr Anonymous, you have already done the hard part. Nominating that it was fear of rejection that was paralyzing you, and not letting that stop you has obviously been difficult, but you did it. Writing what I feel has been difficult for me, that is why I need to do it, and the more I do it the more I improve.
I had to come back to this blog today as I found it so inspiring in what it means to simply be real and express yourself in the world, something I am now learning to do. It made so much sense, as to why I have had such difficulty in doing this in the past and so much of the time expressing from my knowledge and not my true feelings – coming too from a lack of self worth and ultimately the fear of not being accepted (in other words rejection). Thanks again Mr Anonymous. More inspiration to just be and express me in the world.
Mr. Anonymous, I had to laugh out loud reading the end of your blog – and this is no rejection. 🙂 It is a openhearted friendly hug for expressing absolutely honestly what you feel! I am inspired that I don’t have to perform anything special, but just be me and that’s it.
I love your honesty Mr. Anonymous and that you did not gave up to write a blog. I know this feeling of rejection and insecurity when writing a blog, comparison tries to come in, my way of writing is too simple or too short or not interesting or even ‘who does she things that she is’. It stops me from expressing and the holding back makes my body very tired. Lets have fun and write even when the end is bad :- )
Oh God, I just love this thank you! I can think of a few situations where I use this as a defence –
“It turns out that when I feel that I am about to be rejected by another person, I immediately go into reaction first, and when I write a blog I feel certain that some readers will reject what I write.”
I absolutely love the simple and light-hearted honesty of your blog! I can really relate to the attempts of writing a blog. Lots of opening paragraphs on an otherwise blank page… I look forward to more of your writing. Keep it coming.
So we learn from you Mr Anonymous, that writing a blog isn’t that hard after all, there is actually no expectation, just write what is there, even if it seems to be nothing, it is always something.
I find I am very good at coming up with excuses for not writing a blog. They take a long time….I might get it wrong….the moment is not right…etc. what I have found is that it is much worse not to express and the expression belongs to all of us as there is always something in these blogs that others relate to. The idea of getting it wrong or being rejected is a big one however it pales beside not expressing at all.
Awesome comment Amanda, I can so relate to what you’ve shared and about making excuses. I agree, it definitely feels awful to hold back expressing and not try at all. I feel that when I find something challenging and choose not to work on it, it comes back to me again and again until I choose to face it. When I commit to working on what is present in front of me instead of running away, I often surprise myself how easy things can be. When I reflect back it was my mind that creates it into this enormous impossibility but it never is that way. My mind creates this enormous mountain to make me feel I am not capable but in fact what is true is that my potential and capability is as far as I am willing to go, I could go as far as saying it is endless where and how far I am willing to go. It all comes back to the limitations I create for myself is what is ultimately holding me back.
Thanks for sharing a great insight Anonymous, ‘Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself.’
Mr Anonymous I really loved your blog as it was so honest and so real. Writing is something I have struggled with as well, I recently ventured into writing a few blogs for myself and I found the task confronting but so worth it. I found I too would go into reaction/hurt and judgement of myself – never feeling I measured up. But then it struck me this is about my expression, it is unique to me and if things come up, well maybe there is some stuff I need to look at. Overall I’ve found the process really healing, it’s starting to make me feel I do have something to say and maybe it’s time I claimed that for myself. So thank you for your blog, it shows the beliefs we hold about ourselves are just that, beliefs and it’s time to claim back our expression.
I feel what you are experiencing is experienced by so many and yet when we are held captive by our fears we can feel like we are the only ones it is happening to. “Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself. That this is preposterously untrue has been irrelevant”. What you have shared here is very poignant as it something most of us have experienced. In sharing this you have opened up a platform for discussion and awareness of this major issue. Thank you.
Dear Mr Anonymous, please write some more! I love your honesty as so many, including myself, can relate to what you say … and now you have ‘broken the ice’ I am sure we will hear more from you.
Very true SusanG, it is very easy to relate to honesty and the natural vulnerability that comes with it. Interesting that most of us have from young age learnt to cover up this part of us and pretend to be confident in situations where we are not.
Thanks to Simone Benhayon for introducing us to the Expression Program – I no longer have the fear of writing blogs. As an excuse not to write them, I put my hand up to be an editor of the blogs as I thought that being a teacher I had the skills of using grammar and language correctly and was good at spelling! What a cover-up it was for me, editing others’ blogs, instead of writing my own! I feel I didn’t want to be on the receiving end of having my blogs edited, as there would be judgment made, that as a teacher I should know better and that my writing should not need editing. However, I found the opposite to be true – I loved receiving feedback and edit tweaks – it was my chance to grow in my expression and subsequently in my evolution.
So sweet and innocent, your honesty melts my heart. Something I have come to discover over the years, our worst fear of being rejected leads us to play roles, put on an act, react in protection and or any number of things, then of course all of that gets rejected because people are far better at feeling than they let on. They can feel the person is not being real and in their reaction to that, they do and say things that highlights the rejection. My experience is when someone is prepared to be honest and expose how they are truly feeling they don’t get rejected they in fact melt the heart of all those around them. Thank you Anonymous I love your blog.
Dear Mr Anonymous, I love your blog.. its short and greatly inspiring, two great blog qualities. 🙂 Seriously, the fact that even with fear of rejection you went ahead and just wrote how you felt helps others realise that this writing thing might just be possible too. How great is that. It also shows that to let our own fears get in the way, means that the world misses out. I am understanding more and more that holding back through imagined or perceived rejection or reactions, diminishes everything and you never know when what we bring is an inspiration for another.
Simple, honest and open. The perfect recipe for a blog. I do hope that this is the first of your many blogs because you have all the perfect ingredients. Thank you for sharing you.
Well done for writing your blog Mr Anonymous. The beginning middle and end are perfect, because it came from you and it’s honest. You highlight what holds me back sometimes as well, that fear of being judged, and not being approved of. Learning to express whether its in a blog or speaking up is something I’m learning to do and it feels very liberating.
So true and I can relate to this completely – time to stop rejecting myself, time to appreciate me and time to write a blog – and I shall start by appreciating you for such beautiful honesty.
Mr. Anonymous, I love it too! To show your vulnerability, open to even get criticism and still stand with an open heart! So Amazing!
Thank you Mr Anonymous, it seems that so many of us have difficulty writing, or speaking and expressing how we feel. With your powers of observation about how we hold ourselves back with thoughts that are not true, you offer such an honest and lighthearted look at this dilemma.
Absolute cracker of an insight wow:
“It turns out that when I feel that I am about to be rejected by another person, I immediately go into reaction first.”
This is the key I’ve been looking for, as I react in my relationships as soon as I feel someone is about to reject me, thank you I appreciate you sharing your insights and wisdom.
This is the greatest Blog ever! Its so honest. there are so many beliefs about how we have to write a piece of writing and breaking the rules is all part of expressing from our essence. This was really enjoyable!
Thank you Mr Anonymous, this is especially important for me to read as I struggle too with writing blogs, afraid of being judged or rejected etc. You have shown me that perhaps it is my honesty that actually needs to be expressed.
This isn’t bad but actually brilliant. It has highlighted a lot about my own writing.
Dear Mr Anonymous. This is very endearing. Thank you for expressing how it is for you. It is real and full of truth, therefore you have written an excellent blog!
Mr Anonymous – I love it! Very insightful and supportive for others of us who have difficulties in writing a blog. It just goes to show how opening up and being honest really supports other people too.
Love it Anonymous, a true honest expression from the start. I have struggled with speaking in front of groups as well, but this has changed from a lot of the years with letting go of thinking I need to know what to say all the time.
I can relate to everything you have written about here Mr Anon, especially the public speaking part and writing blogs has been very challenging as it always brings up so much hidden turmoil which is obviously going on inside, but never spoken about. Your honesty is very refreshing.
Nothing like a bit of honesty and fragility to bring a power packed short and sweet statement!
Very True Danielle – nothing like a bit of honesty and fragility to bring a power packed short and sweet statement. We have been sold a lie showing or fragility makes us weak. We then harden up and use any number of protective behaviours to cover up our fragility and sweetness, in the belief that we are now stronger. But as this blog so clearly shows there is nothing weak about our fragility and sweetness it breaks down the toughest of behaviours and it doesn’t need to bang and knock down anything the person at the other end has already surrendered.
Absolutely, and everyone also thinks that a lot of text is more powerful then short punchy statements. Instead we can feel the quality of them and enjoy them no matter what the length
Well Mr Anonymous your first blog is a hit, it also made me realize how the only failure is in not writing, Every expression is better than no expression so there is no wrong way of writing if it is true expression, which you have wonderfully shown us here.
So cool, cutting through the fog of untrue thoughts and ideals, these are the daily miracles that happen, if we allow.
Thank you for unearthing and revealing this beautiful truth, Mr Anon., that so often we ‘reject’ or ‘punish’ or ‘loathe’ ourselves first before anyone gets a chance to do it to us! What a mad form of protection! I will hurt myself so that you will not hurt me. I remember first clocking this many years ago – the madness of it – but have only managed to disentangle myself from the whole package of it since hearing the re-presentation of the Ancient Wisdom through Universal Medicine.
I love the observation in which this blog has been written.
It is true Lyndy, we are apt at punishing ourselves, more so than what we even expect or ever get from others. Like a flagellation. Why is it we are taught that it is ok to be like this with ourselves? Why are we not taught to care deeply and honour ourselves, to believe that we have valuable things to say, that we are a valued member of the society that we live in? Topsy Turvy, Universal medicine and Serge Benhayon are an absolute blessing for us straight from heaven.
I have held myself back in various aspects of my life through the fears I have and through beliefs that I have held about myself. Coming to realise that there is nothing in this that truly represents who I am has been illuminating to say the least. I am learning steadily how important just beginning to express is, no matter how clunky it may seem, how that feels when I don’t hold back and how it actually allows me to see more clearly the mind games that I play with myself.
I agree Jennifer, the key for me has been making a start, even if it comes out funny or not quite fluent doesn’t matter… and I’m loving opening up and expressing more.
“I am learning steadily how important just beginning to express is, no matter how clunky it may seem, how that feels when I don’t hold back and how it actually allows me to see more clearly the mind games that I play with myself”
Jennifer, you could easily have been speaking from my own mouth here. That clunky or uncomfortable feeling in expressing something that might be ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ ~ after years and years of holding back for this reason, I too am embarking on relationships that are supporting me to express all that I am and not be afraid to do this. I am finding trust in myself once again and this is coming very much from a stronger feeling of safety in my body and my relationships.
As you say annamccormack26, it is important to begin expressing ourselves and when I judge my expression as being clunky, and this is of course only to our own perception, I now can feel that this judgement is another way trying to keep me from writing and expressing. But what if this clunky way of expressing is just typically my way of expression, nothing wrong with that is it?
Thanks Nico, this is true, there is nothing wrong at all. If it’s clunky – it’s clunky. Makes me wonder where judgement came from in the first place, as in who determined what is good or bad, clunky or not clunky? I can feel ‘perfectionism’ behind this, a constant streaming of beliefs and ideals that suffocate our true expression.
‘It doesn’t matter where you start, but just start writing’ – some great advice I once received when I got writer’s block from fear of being judged. It helped a lot, starting wherever the impulse took me first and knowing cut and paste were there as tools later to piece it all together. I found that once I’d got going I was quickly into a flow and all the concern drained away. Fear of rejection is the biggest ruse we use to deny our expression, to stop us expressing what needs to be expressed.
Good to draw this one out Cathy… no excuses, and expressing at any level starts a ball rolling that can lead to all sorts of interesting places of self discovery.
Letting out what has been locked up inside one’s body for eons can be tricky. We seem to have made comparison, competition and judgement, our normal way of being which has made us all ripe for fearing rejection. We prepare for being rejected all the time. But living like a coiled spring is exhausting. I used to be always researching for my next big holiday because I needed the escape from the life I set myself up with. Once I noticed that I did this, I could start to unravel what was keeping me in such a state and with that, the door was opened to expressing what interesting and novel things I had to say 🙂
‘We prepare for being rejected all the time.’ – Very true Suzanne, I used to spend a lot of energy on this – I would go to any lengths to cover up if I did not feel ‘good enough’. Now I am forever learning to express the true me.
Thank you, Mr Anonymous, for exposing one of the greatest illusions of all – that it hurts less to be rejected if we reject ourselves first. How untrue this is, because when we reject ourselves we are turning our back on God, (as we are a part of Him) and this hurts more than anything in this world.
Exactly Janet and Mr Anonymous – “… that it hurts less to be rejected if we reject ourselves first.” And when we do this we do indeed turn away from who we truly are within, and that is like you said janetwilliams06 – turning our back on God. It’s a great blog and will surely support anyone with similar ‘thoughts’ around having perceived difficulty writing.
It is a grand illusion that it hurts less if we reject ourselves first, it doesn’t hurt less at all, it hurts deeply, we just know what is coming and can prepare the defenses for it.
Yes I agree, Lisa, this kind of control may give us the sense that we are protected, but we have already abandoned ourselves and it is game over.
Great blog. I can relate to what is written. I have held myself back out of fear of rejection, which meant i never expressed, not many people got to see me, or got to know me. Well, no more of that! My next step will be writing blogs, there is so much to share, so much to express. Your simple blog about your fear of rejection spoke volumes Thank you Mr Anonymous
Thank you Mr Anonymous for your beautifully honest and open sharing. It’s inspiring to read your words, particularly knowing the struggle you felt getting them down. In making this brave move, you’ve helped so many other people who feel exactly as you do, such a gift.
I completely relate to your fear of rejection, however, you know how you feel, that is a truth for you and only you can express how it is, for you, in your own gorgeous words. Otherwise it’s just someone else’s observation of how they think things may be for you. Never be afraid of expressing that. If someone reacts, it’s their issue and their stuff and reflects more about them than it does about you.
Great observation Alison – how a very short, honest piece like this that is written raw and unpolished can inspire others with the same issue to pick up their pens (or dust off their keyboards) and start writing blogs too.
I love your blog because I love your honesty!
I cannot relate to blog writing, as I love writing blogs…. and am waiting to be told to stop writing… you have written too much Rosie.. but public speaking…hmmm that still gets me and I often shake all over… but I am learning to speak and shake all at the same time and say it and not worry about how others will react to what I have to share even if I get it wrong. We all have to start somewhere and it always feels so much better when we express rather than keep it bottled up or wish we had said something later.
Public speaking can be easy as you can see and feel quite precisely what is going on and you can respond. You may get it wrong but you can respond. Writing a blog is different. It is a one-off and that’s it. That can be quite scary.
Our words, whether written or spoken, carry either the majesty of who we are or the crudeness of who we are not. What is frightening is not knowing which of these two voices we are using.
Yes I love the honesty too, I love how he has gotten up and given his voice expression and how he has allowed it to be exactly what it is – no doubt about it, he is an amazing expresser because he has done it. We have so many ideals about how things are supposed to be, yet he has allowed himself the space to just start. I look forward to more.
I can very much relate to the last bit you shared Rosie, when I choose not to express verbally in any situation it leaves me feeling awful and always feeling that I wish I had said what I felt. I have thought that it was because I had a delayed reaction but it wasn’t a reaction but a choosing to delay my expression. By holding back what was needed to be expressed, it sits heavy in my body and it regurgitates over and over in my head, I then go into beating myself up for not expressing. I simply had held back for such a long time that I have forgotten how to express my feelings freely and instantly. Like Rosie said, we have to start somewhere, and I am learning to do just that. Start expressing what I feel no matter what reactions I may receive, start expressing in all areas of my life.
Dear Mr. Anon, congratulations on your first blog. To me it seems that you are a natural, simply because it feels so fresh and spontaneous! You have just transferred your thoughts and feelings directly onto the printed page and that surely is exactly what a blog is supposed to be, isn’t it?
I love reading this post Mr. Anonymous! You share what so many of us are feeling! Not being able to witness people’s facial expressions when reading my words, is what I would be most nervous about. Interesting though, that your honesty has brought nothing but positive feedback, not that you require validation, but it’s the irony of the situation that is most amusing.
What I love about this blog is that I can clearly feel not an ounce of intellectualising or knowledge coming from it. Just a realness and honesty, which for me is very inspiring as it feels like you are taking here those steps to letting go of the fear of rejection and just expressing you in the world. I love this, thank you Mr Anonymous.
So refreshing, Mr Anonymous. I loved reading your blog. It captured me, I understood how you felt and I admired your willingness to say it as it is for you, (and I suspect many others, I include myself here). I thought the ending was exactly right too by the way, it completed, with the possibility that there is more to come.
I relate to this as in the past I experience either anxiousness or frustration when trying to write a blog, it was mainly a reaction coming up from comparison and not from my heart, as when I write something connected to my heart there is such a simplicity and flow to it and it is a joy to write, thank you Mr Anonymous.
I too have felt this Francisco and how it is a process to allow ourselves to roll the flow.
What a pleasure it is to read your very honest blog. Maths and numbers have always come natural to me I have never been into writing or reading. I feel this may have something to do with how I read and write and my willingness to share myself. You see I was never asked to express myself in writing. We had to keep a diary in primary school. I remember thinking there is no way I am going to write what is going on in my life in this diary that anyone can read. I saw sharing such information as giving people ammunition to use your own words against you. So I made a choice to state what happened each day – but dare not express what I felt. Then in high school most of the writing I did was essays where I wasn’t actually allowed to express what I felt. I have to make a reflective claim and learnt how to justify every point I made with someone else’s words. I never really enjoyed reading – I thought it was boring. Over the last few years I have come to appreciate the written word more and more and I am breaking free from the convenience of classifying myself as “a bad writer” and giving myself permission to develop in this area. Learning is forever.
I love the simplicity of your blog anon and the message. I can get anxious about how something may be or how I will get the time to finish something and waste so much energy worrying. For example, tonight, I had not done my blogs and needed to go out. Whilst attending a course this evening I was worrying about how long it would take me when I got home, but actually I am not taking too long and I am enjoying reading and writing the comments…..surely I will get it soon : to be with what ever I am doing and not think about the future or the past!!!!
We have all been here, judging what we express for others to see. The silly thing in all of it is people actually enjoy what you write and come and tell you. I know I am always surprised when people say that to me and whatever you write there is always someone that can relate to it. That’s all that is needed.
I like your honest sharing Mr Anonymous, you have taken a huge step writing this blog with dealing with the issues that have prevented you writing in the past and actually writing the blog. That’s a big step. You inspire me to do the same..
Absolute gold….so many blogs try to impress, try to sell. Mr A, you’ve just nailed the golden rule…be real.
We all have different levels of ease with expressing ourselves and some find it easier to speak, while for others writing is easier. That fear of rejection has certainly been strong for me my whole life, why take a chance and get hurt was almost my mantra. But I regretted many things from not taking those chances or expressing what I felt. It is only recently I have started to let the guard down, and this is what I can really appreciate in what you have written, you have taken something that you find scary or hard and tackled it head on, that to me is a great thing.
I love this blog so much. It is so fragile and delicate in it’s honesty.
I love the ending. It’s like a beginning. It’s so short and simple but a complete package in itself. Thanks Mr Anonymous… I trust one day you will reveal yourself because you write amazingly and I am saying that needs a name to it and to be claimed.
I really love this blog – because its real and you are sharing it all with us as you write. We are with you the whole way and I can relate to every word you say. Thank you Mr Anonymous, you needn’t be shy in coming forward as what you have to share is of great worth.
So true Marcia, we all have something to share of great worth but so often this real, honest truth is is held back because we get stuck in our heads, in our hurts, in our reactions. That Mr Anonymous has pushed this aside and expressed in a way that is so simple and so honest is deeply inspiring.
Awesome I love your absolutely honesty Mr Anonymous.
This is not the end, this is the beginning of your true expression, well done for stepping out without waiting for perfection first.
So true Kate, all it takes is the first step with expression, no matter how clunky it feels to me and the rest flows more easily as I remember I am only the body with which it comes through.
Beautifully said Jenny, we need to get self out of the way and the flow of true expression naturally happens.
You know what this blog summed up is exactly how I have been living for years and years. Perfectly perfect or rejected for not living up to the stories and mistruths I have told myself. No more, not ever again can we let these lies, ‘preposterously untrue’ statements that seem to have had a hold for a long time. Kicking the walls in and letting me all the way out is the only way free.
Perfection, rejection… Mr Anonymous, you have nailed so much here – with a candid realness that undoubtedly calls many to admit we are actually human (OMG… really??).
Your statement, “It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself.” says so much as to the self-destructive patterns I’d say most if not all of us have lived. For are we not rejecting ourselves if we are holding back the fullness of our expression in ANY way, shape or form?
Getting to the root of why we do so, so honestly, and letting the floodgates open is the only way through isn’t it – to break such a hold, even when, as you say, we know it’s not a true way that serves ourselves (or anyone else for that matter). I love it that you wrote this blog, and it’s been published – a great step in not keeping those darn dam walls in place. Love it.
Hi Victoria,
I agree, opening the ‘floodgates’ of all we have held back out of fear of rejection or needing to be perfect (from the same ilk). What this blog brought up in me was an awareness of how I still write and express with this fear in the background, of being rejected, and so it has offered me an opportunity to be more accepting of myself and free in my expression.
It’s great to be real with what may be going on here, isn’t it Anna… that we can allow ourselves, to just be ‘ourselves’.
Expression and rejection so true and such a stopping point in our lives . I love this blog and your sharing so simple and real and what I understand and experience too, Thank you for sharing this so beautifully 🙂
Certainly a strategy to cope with life: reject yourself before the rest do it so it does not hurt as much. The question is why do you assume that the others will reject you? Even if you had experiences in the past in this direction, this is not a must. It is up to us to decide how much we want to express. One thing is for sure, your body will thank you if you start doing it.
Or simply walk away from yourself so you do not have to feel the terribleness of others rejecting us, themselves, love and God. I can so relate to this. Easier to check out and not feel the whole of it, but in doing so creates an even deeper pain and suffering.
I share a strong fellow feeling with you here Anon. I hadn’t thought of it as rejection but rather a lack of self-worth that what I had to say would be worth listening to or reading or I might make a fool of myself but exposing my lack of eloquence – all sounds like a lot of rejection.
Mr Anon, I can relate to rejection. I’ve realised for me this happens in groups, instead of speaking up and contributing I am worried about rejection so I keep quiet. I appreciate your short blog on this topic which gave me time to reflect and get further insight into myself. When we get our personal reactions out of the way we are often surprised to find that what we have something to offer is appreciated.
The way we speak, the way we write, even the way we move is, for many , configured by anticipation, and consequently we are not able to be ourselves. Engendering conscious presence in our daily lives brings the connection that allows us to be ourselves, and to express, in all of these ways, who we truly are.
What you present cjames blows the myth out of the water that it is useful to prepare and rehearse what we say and write. Instead the anticipation can create a nervous tension in the body which takes away from our connection which delivers what is there to be expressed.
Great blog Mr Anonymous, I can relate to what you are saying. I often have the expectation of having to write an amazing blog that will dazzle everyone but I realise now that is in a way saying I am not enough just simply writing from myself. Thank you for the reminder that it can be as simple as what you shared in this blog.
‘An amazing blog that will dazzle everyone’ wow Lieke, I can so relate to this need to dazzle others, coming from a simple lack of acceptance and appreciation for myself that I am enough being me, as I am.
Mr Anonymous. I have found it hard at times to write a blog or my daily comments.
Yes I have had a few returned, telling me you cannot say this or do that, and I think why not!
Then I re-read what I have written, and sure enough it does make sense to change things, as it was written from the head, and not the heart.
This is genius. Your honesty is so captivating. It is a joy to read. Thank you for getting this 1st one out. Where do I find your next installment?
Mr Anonymous, so beautifully honest and what more could I ask for in a blog. Thank you
I think this blog is great. Funny and light-hearted. My experience is that the more one has to express the harder it is to hold it back. It’s like there’s a pile up of expression to be made and if we hold it back it’s gonna feel quite stuffy, so expressing like you have is a great way to start unplugging the unexpressiveness (just added that word to my dictionary…) of the past.
Love your honesty Mr Anonymous, and I was nodding my head in agreement as I read, as many others were probably doing as well. The process of going into protection mode before we do something, just in case, is so familiar, but with the fear of rejection so huge, that becomes just what we do. But you broke through that barrier and wrote the blog anyway. Congratulations…….and now for the next one!
One of the most liberating things that has happened to me in the last few years is learning to speak up or write without any expectation of how it will be received. My body has changed so it feels unbearable to not express myself! Without needing the other person to agree or ‘get it’, there is way less pressure on myself and it comes out much more clear and real.
I love your honesty and openness. I also understand what you share. When I am writing, I often water-down the truth in fear of offending someone who may read it and may have a different opinion – in this way everyone is held back from receiving the truth.
I love your openness as you deliver a beautiful truth. That when we go into the reaction of rejection before expressing, the wisdom that we all have within us equally so, is held back and we all miss out on what could be shared. Thank you for reflecting this valuable reminder through your experience. I can so relate to what you have shared as I struggled with my written expression for a long time until I realised that when I am connected to my heart I have a lot to say and now enjoy sharing (and this is still developing) who I am with the world. As you said, I too ‘I stayed connected to my heart’ and trusted.
So true Carola we have a lot to say, a lot to give, and so much love that is felt but not honored and expressed openly with each other. Holding it back is dis-ease.
So beautifully expressed Rik – I whole-heartedly agree.
Love it! Thanks for your honesty Anonymous! I myself have held back putting myself out there on the old internet when it comes to blog writing. But I’ve commented on so many peoples blogs now, I really need to ask myself what the difference would be if I just wrote a few more paragraphs and called it a blog? Same same not different, it’s just my perception which is a trick to keep me hidden away for no one to see…
Thank-you Anonymous for writing such an honest blog in which you have been willing to express your fears of rejection. I feel that this will be first of many from you.
Dear Mr. Anonymous what can I say – I am deeply looking forward to your next blog . . . it was for me a great pleasure to read it and also very exposing – wunderbar!!!!
I loved reading this! A blog about writing a blog…the way you write is very real…and I felt you all the way through. Thank you and looking forward to more Mr Anonymous:)
Well done Mr Anonymous, all of our expressions are needed!
I too have felt like that on many occasions. The feeling of rejection and insecurity before anyone has even read what I write! But its marvelous when we connect with our heart, what we say flows naturally and needs no explanation to its expression, it just IS.
Totally harryjwhite “But its marvelous when we connect with our heart, what we say flows naturally and needs no explanation to its expression, it just IS.” There is nothing more joyful then expressing my truth – what I feel. Expression is Everything!!
I don’t think the ending of this blog was particularly bad, in fact when I got to the end I somehow felt like I knew you a little bit – so bravo on sharing your first heart connected blog with us. Do keep it up!
Dear Mr Anonymous, I too feel the same. I love your honesty and awesome realisation. I too have difficulty in writing a blog. I realised that there is no need for me to write one unless something comes to me. I have always found it difficult to express myself through writing but each day I am opening up more and more and learning to express how I feel. I know I have been holding back my expressions for a very long time, so it is going to take some time for me to open up and express from my heart without judgement, seeking approval or recognition. Learning to express from my livingness.
This is just a great first blog because it is your expression, and expressed in written word. Awesome to feel.
I’m with you Zofia, this is a fabulous first blog – as it is so real – there is no trying to be a certain style, just Mr anonymous’ natural way of expressing. I’m sure there are more grrrreat blogs just in the holding zone , waiting to come out.
Well Mr Anonymous, you are have done extremely well in completing your first blog! What a great insight! Fear of rejection is still a ‘monster’ I am learning to conquer. It’s amazing that we can be confident in our own comfort zone but become small and closed down if we think about extending ourselves in new areas where we are potentially exposed to the reactions of others. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing this great honesty Mr Anon, we have all contracted lives and to unfold and express is both confronting and a joy.
I too have tied myself in knots with my blog writing. I have been my own worst critic, but now I am learning that the more I am present and connected with myself, the easier it is for me to write and express what I am feeling..
Congratulations on writing and completing a blog. It is something I have yet to do.
Me too Karen – I can so relate to the “tying oneself in knots” and fear of rejection that Mr Anonymous so clearly and honestly writes about.
My Anon, most of the world’s population walk around constantly using their inbuilt antennae to scan the horizon for ‘possible rejection’ and also to seek out ‘acceptance’. I live in a block of flats and when my neighbours put up a net curtain at their kitchen window because our kitchen windows look directly into each others flats I felt a pang of rejection! I mean how deep seated is that ?
I can relate very much to what is written here. Mr Anon. you are certainly not alone and I would love to read another of your blogs as I found reading this one very inspiring, honest and straight from the heart.
I can so relate to what you write here Mr Anonymous, and what you have written has helped me to de-base the anxiousness.
Thanks for sharing Ano, expressing in writing was a bit of a challenge for me in the past mainly for fear of being rejected, but the more I committed to be present in my body while writing and the more that I let go of ideals of how the final piece should be the easier writing has become as I have finally given myself permission to express me.
Writing and speaking can be terrifying when we don’t feel confident with what we are saying, but it’s great just as you have done Mr Anonymous to say exactly what we’re feeling and leave it at that!
I can so much relate to that – I easily find myself totally knotted when “trying” to do something and actually feeling anxious about possibly being rejected. Blog writing is one of my favourite self-knotting indulgences. Humour at times helps to not take myself so serious.
That’s a great point Alex. I can take myself too seriously and I can certainly relate to the ‘trying’ when I am writing but bringing in humour and playfulness – I like that!
Great point Alex Braun, when seriousness kicks in I am more or less handed over to the unresolved hurts in me that want to be recognised and acknowledged and a continuous fear of being rejected is playing its game with me.
Great reminder of the power of humour and playfulness Alex.
How we can do this with so many things that we ‘do’ Alex and Mr Anonymous… And how refreshingly honest this blog is – we’ve all known about tying ourselves in such knots, even when they seem so crazy.
And don’t get me started on being serious!! Let’s put that one up on the wall and stare at it for a week: “Am I too serious? Am I playful RIGHT NOW? Silly even?”
Thank God for humour and silliness to take the edge of the intensity that can be so deeply held within so many of us.
Seriously Victoria ! haha Sometimes my silliness is not understood – this reflects to me how serious I have been. Sorry for the serious comment ?!!
Love it Rik Connors. I’m actually finding that people are just discovering how silly I can be (and have been…) – everyone seems to want to take each other so seriously… What have we come to?#@!!?
Yes Alex keeping it light and playful really allows for honesty in expression.
I can very much relate to these issues as well. Simply writing about them is really showing oneself from a more vulnerable place and we usually want to be seen as strong and invincible. But you show how adorable it is if we do show ourselves and how this can be done in a humorous way.
Mr Anonymous honest, funny and just simply awesome. Can’t wait for your next instalment.
The ending is my favourite bit! The door is open and Mr Anonymous stands courageously to meet what has kept him bound and mute (or drunk!) for an eternity. The rejection can only be there if we have first rejected ourselves and our love. When we stand with an open heart, we are saying ‘yes’ – yes to ourselves, yes to love and yes to everything. It is indeed our best ‘defence’. Well done Mr A.
Mr Anonymous – you’re awesome! I love your honesty and your article rocks. Your fear of rejection is just an excuse to not shine which you clearly can’t help but do anyway. Keep them coming.
Thank you Mr Anonymous for one of the most honest blogs I have read. To some degree I had the same issue but found that if you write from the heart it can’t be wrong and can’t be rejected.
I love the way you write with such rawness, Mr Anonymous, what you are feeling. It’s a great blog as you are just saying it as it is. I trust you’ve written some more.
Thank you so much for writing this so honestly. I just loved reading it and hope you will write more blogs and post them.
I have a lovely smile on my face and in my body as I read this blog, It feels so true and relevant to me.
You just uncovered something in me I didn’t even know I did. I do exactly the same… wow.. thanks for writing your first blog. It really showed me that when we hold back others miss out. I would have missed out had you held back.
So much said in a short humorous blog, thank you Mr Anonymous.
What a common Untruth you have highlighted for us, Mr Anonymous….”it hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself”. I am sure many of us can relate to this mindset and the devastating effect it has in our lives.
I love the raw honesty of this blog – rejection can be a big one for us with this kind of stuff. I love that you’ve just allowed yourself to share honestly and left it at that – brilliant!
I would very much rather read a true blog from the heart like this one than the sweetest of words which have come from the head. So I look forward to reading more Mr Anonymous.
Thank you Mr.Anonymous for this blog, it shows that even if we feel a little ‘creaky’ about expressing from the heart it still makes a difference.
Mr Anonymous. I for one go through stages, on what to write in my blogs. Having written one, I them delete it, presuming no one will read it, because it does not make any sense.
Just right from your heart, you will not be judged on what you write, its what you feel in your self, that matters.
I agree Mike Stevenson if it comes truly from you then no need to worry if anyone reads it or comments on your writing. Just as long as it is readable to the reader. I find the words just flow then and it is fun !! BECAUSE IT IS YOU !! Let it out !
What an amazing insight and thank you, Anonymous for persevering. I, too, have had great difficulty writing blogs and find this really helpful.
Thanks Anonymous. I tied myself in knots just with writing a comment! Surprising what we can do when we just do it.
How true this is Mary! I was exactly the same as you and Mr Anonymous!
Keep on writing Mr. A. – it is great to feel your honesty in every line you write.
Thank you.
Mr Anonymous. Every blog has a beginning, a middle and an end. What you write will always come from the heart and your true feelings.
Every journey always starts with the first step…you are on your way now.
The blog is a little nugget of gold – honest expression with a sprinkle of humour. Absolutely beautiful – thank you for sharing this with us.
Mr Anonymous, you write with simplicity and honesty and I love it!
Mr Anonymous. I know how you felt when having to write a blog, and facing possible rejection. When I started my blogs, I did not have a clue what to write about, and thought people would think ‘what is he saying or trying to say’. Anyway I did my blogs, and had some come back, so I went into rejection, thinking ‘what do they want to hear’. When they came back with little comments, it was good, as it showed me I could have worded my blogs slightly differently.
I have been doing my blogs for a while now and it’s enjoyable. So Mr Anonymous keep on blogging.
I have written a couple of blogs and there’s a little doubt beginning to creep in but reading your comment has given me support to keep writing – just what I needed. Thank you.
Love your blog Mr Anonymous. Looking forward to the next one.
Mr Anonymous this is inspirational,I love the swirl and flow, you have kept it ‘very real’, the ending came too soon for me, more please!
Great blog Mr Anonymus, shame about the ending – just kiddin’- ha ha ha.
I think it’s awesome that you shared your ‘fear of blogging/rejection’ as many people can relate to that – the can of worms that was well worth opening!
Mr Anonomous – I can sure relate to this and what I have come to know over the years when writing something is that I get a bit shy… I feel that I get a bit shy because in the space I’ve made for myself the moment I sit down I actually have time to meet myself – and that for me can feel a bit overwhelming and sometimes a bit sad for not taking the time before but at the same time it feels really great.
There is so much amazingness to be shared with others and this is a wonderfull way to sprinkle it to others – so I’m looking forward til next time if you feel to! Take Care Mr.
Thank you so much, amazingly relevant points which hit home for me also. And a beautiful feeling of humour too!! I love this. Well done Mr (and Mrs) Anonymous.
Mr Anon, you reflected something back to me.. That I too reject myself before others reject me in attempt to cushion the hurt. Thank you.
Your blog was so much fun to read Mr Anonymous … and thanks also to you Mrs Anonymous … once I got to your comment I was laughing out loud. Awesome!
Me too Suzanne. 🙂
Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom, it was short and very clear. Do please write more!
While reading your blog I kept saying: this is soooo cute!! You have great courage! Keep going… you are a joy to read.
Thank you so much, I love what you have exposed here, rejection is can be a confronting issue to talk about, I appreciate this post
Your honesty is great, thank you
Awesome and thank you.
Nothing is bad or creaky in your blog Mr Anonymous ! Your wrote in a beautiful way and it felt lovely ! Thank you for your inspiring contribution.
Fantastic and what a joy that you shared this with us. I too have experienced what you speak of effecting my own expression and have worked on just allowing what is there to come out, regardless of what another feels in response. But yes, deeper to this is the fact that it is up to us to accept ourselves in full first, and then to allow this to flow…..what a celebration that you have allowed this in yourself.
Dear Mr Anonymous, No Anonymity needed here. What you’ve written is gorgeous and simple.
Well done Mr Anonymous and thanks for sharing with all us other “rejecto-phobes”!
What deep insights you have shared with us. In truth it sums up what all of us are doing to ourselves when we are not being ALL of who we are, so you are speaking for the majority of people here on earth – not bad for your first Blog I’d say.
Dear Anon, this is a beginning.You have been honest and have expressed as well as you could. I have also been finding it hard to write blogs. I feel we need to be more gentle with ourselves and allow ourselves to be where we are. And after all, where we are is connected to the ancient wisdom and the truth and love that Serge has presented.
Mr Anonymous, you could be my husband! Fear of rejection is so powerful, but I feel you might be on the other side of that issue now! Keep writing, your future musings will be brilliant and honest.
He is my husband and I am sure he will be writing more. 🙂
Thanks for having the courage to say what many feel, so that they too may feel inspired to go for it.
Thank you for bringing this out to nominate. I totally relate. I have at least a few half-written blogs on my desktop, and some fully written as well. At the time when I write them I feel great inspiration to share…this somehow changes when I come back to it a day, or even an hour later. I judge that it isn’t good enough, or that I’m not qualified to say that, or ‘what will they think of me’, ‘too mental’, etc…this is especially interesting since I have written quite publicly about many topics concerning biology and genetics without a hinge. When it comes to sharing more personal matters I seem to crumble. Perhaps I too have been in fear of rejection…real or not, it seems to have me pinned. This is definitely worth exploring and healing, because I have some amazing things to say and it’s silly to let fear stand in the way.
Nykole when I read your words “I have some amazing things to say” I got quite a hit and could really feel that was true. I would love to read your blogs – please don’t hold them back or we all miss out!
I had that exact same feeling Nicola about the same line!! And yes, Nykole don’t hold them back, there is a very eager audience awaiting 🙂
I agree too Nicola and Dragana but I felt it earlier. How can you hold back your truth. It’s crazy, when it offers, like this simple blog, inspiration to everyone who feels how real you are. I cannot stop commenting on this blog because I am thoroughly enjoying people being themselves.
Nykole- I have had that experience also of writing that at the time flowed easily but on returning to it can be overly critical and dismissive. Having an awareness of this tendency to ‘reject before rejected’ will be helpful and also the simplicity revealed in this blog of writing from the heart and making that what counts.
Well done brother, love your courage.
Congratulations…you did it!
Well done, Mr Anonymous, I enjoyed reading your first blog and look forward to more! Feeling rejection is most certainly debilitating and has a profound effect on our self confidence and self worth …. having overcome this first hurdle I bet you are feeling so empowered 🙂 It is vital that we express what we truly feel and that in turn we are heard and validated. Your courage and honesty inspire me.
Honest, real and energetically liberating to read.
Great blog. I love the honesty in your blog. You’re one of soooo many. And the fact that you took the chance too share this with us, might inspire lots of people. It does inspire me! Thank you.
I agree Floris. I have had many blockages and ideals hindering my ability to write. What is freeing is to actually write about it in your words what those hindrances actually are. No one expresses like you but everything in this world it seems sometimes stops you from expressing your truth. Once you find that spark again keep it a-Light !!
Hello Mr Anonymous, I love the ending!
Seriously though, it is a very profound point that you make about rejecting yourself first before others reject you. I too have experienced that type of mechanism with many different situations. For example putting in a disclaimer when I say something so if someone does not accept it the disappointment will be less.
What I have found is that all these tactics that I have created to avoid being hurt, actually hurt a LOT more than the hurt I was trying to avoid in the first place.
Like you, I have started to choose to not to do that anymore and it feels so liberating and expansive and life is a lot more fun and playful, like your blog.
Yes Mary, it is amazing how similar our experiences are.
Love your Truth Nicola. As it has been stated above also, it’s honorable being real and true instead of whatever game(s) we cleverly manipulate to protect our hurt. My game was, cause I am sensitive to any situation or person not being true, was to not commit to life. Ultimate game! If life is not true I’m not committing. However like Nicola said this hurts me more.
This post is hilarious– I laughed out loud at the ‘especially bad’ ending. This reminds me of some of my favourite films that were all about the difficulty of the main character making a film. Brilliant. So many bloggers will relate. More please ‘Mr Anonymous’.
YES I agree with Rebecca Baldwin here “more please mr Anonymous”
What you are writing is real and I can feel it.
You are saying it as it is and that’s what makes you You.
I loved your blog and I sure am not rejecting you in any way. Keep on writing and talking..