Writing a blog: the fear of rejection

by Mr Anonymous, Australia

I haven’t been able to write a blog.

When I re-read my attempts at writing a blog they feel grey and either a bit boastful or a bit negative on myself.

I found out it has to do with rejection. If I talk with a person, or even a group of people, I can make sure that I won’t get rejected, or that the chance is very slight. Public speaking holds few terrors for me – my worst, but bearable, experience was a public speech on the morning of Melbourne Cup Day. The audience suffered from anticipatory drunkenness even though it was 8 in the morning.

Writing a blog is different. So far I have always tied myself in knots trying to get words on paper.

It turns out that when I feel that I am about to be rejected by another person, I immediately go into reaction first, and when I write a blog I feel certain that some readers will reject what I write.

I therefore sit at the computer screen and am already in reaction.

Why do I go into reaction? It hurts less to be rejected if I have already rejected myself. That this is preposterously untrue has been irrelevant.

So, here it is – the first blog where I stayed connected to my heart. It feels more than a little ‘creaky’ and the ending is especially bad, but here it is.

440 thoughts on “Writing a blog: the fear of rejection

  1. Our ability to communicate and express is such a vital part in our lives. But it is really interesting how on so many levels that we hold ourselves back out of either fear or a host of other equally insidious emotions that totally undermine us living our potential.

  2. It is such a clever set up isn’t it! That it hurts less if we reject ourselves before anyone else rejects us, but I suspect this is a well trodden path by many more than you and I.

  3. Mr Anonymous your blog has deepened my awareness and understanding of where I allow rejection plays out in my life…thank you for this.

  4. Hilarious and super honest, I love it. Quite unbelievable, coming to think of it, how much we contort and pretzel ourselves to fit into what we think might happen, what we fear is about to happen and that we will certainly be rejected. Where is this certainty coming from>? We reject ourselves first, yes?

  5. This is absolutely hilarious and equally so deeply honest and very true; when we fear and anticipate something coming towards us, in this case rejection, we go out of our way to make sure the other doesn’t keep the upper hand in this exchange and reject ourselves first, denigrate or speak poorly about ourselves. Pretty crazy me-feels.

  6. the best is when we are raw and honest, just like you in this blog.. it catches an eye, simply because we are so used to manipulated speech that once truth is spoken from its real and rawness it stands out. Better stand out for truth than be hidden by evil.

  7. Fear of rejection is something that taints so many people’s expression to the point where people do not even know truly the sound of their real and true voice… This really is essential to heal, because expression is so important.

  8. Wonderful observations about rejection Mr Anonymous, how true. Yes, if we reject ourselves we feel less fearful of the rejection of others somehow – even though we then end up living under the constant cloud of our own self-rejection. As I read the blog I felt that actually what works for me these days is choosing not to reject myself, because this is what really hurts – and I find, that even if others reject me or my words, if I stay loving with myself, that is what truly matters and what truly heals.

  9. You have not only put pen to paper but you have had it looked over by editors and allowed it to be published and read by us, there is so much for you to appreciate stepping out and writing your first blog, maybe the first of many more to come. Thank you for sharing you.

  10. Thank you very much Mr Anonymous, you have expressed beautifully and for me who is just learning how to express (may I add that this is my very very first reply on anything) you have made my day and brought a huge smile to my face.

  11. Nothing wrong with your blog. I love it! So simple, open and vulnerably true. We are gagged with invisible tapes of perceptions that makes us feel it is impossible to write. Really? Is that true? I say it is impossible not to write.

    ….If we can feel it, we have the authority to write it.

  12. Your contribution made me smile – there you are, writing while you are writing about writing and its difficulties and tribulations – while you are actually doing it and proving yourself wrong. I trust there have been more?

  13. Beautiful, it really made me realise why people embellish things rather than sticking to the truth all because of fear of rejection, when in truth it is only ourselves who are doing the rejecting, really great blog, and thank you for taking the time to write it and getting any doubts out of the way.

  14. This is awesome! You have broken the drought! I have still not taken the plunge and strangely for all the same reasons as you avoided blog writing. I love that you wrote this, it’s so real, it supports me to get over my block, you really nailed this.

  15. I can so relate to what you share here. We are so good at coming up with excuses for not expressing ourselves and making it an issue. Even when it was presented that we were a vehicle of expression, that it was an energy that is passing through us and we had aligned to that got expressed outwardly, and what I expressed was never mine to own – I still wanted to make it about me.

  16. Well done Mr Anonymous for moving through your fear of rejection and writing this blog, I have also experienced similar feelings which immediately blocks me and holds me back from expressing. Recently I have begun to write blogs and not be attached to any outcome or pictures of it needing to be perfect in anyway, it has been empowering and has allowed me to feel more confidence as I build my expression.

  17. I can totally relate to what you shared. For me it’s been about getting it ‘right’ and not ‘wrong’ then the rejection wouldn’t follow. It’s then been about feeling there is no right and wrong only what is true.

  18. Worrying about the outcome of our actions often stops us from moving forward and expressing. I’m glad you didn’t hold back anonymous. It gives inspiration to the others who may be holding back too.

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